#2256 - Protect Our Parks 14

Joe Rogan

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train my day. Joe Rogan podcast. By night.

Shane Gillis

All day.

Joe Rogan

All I've been doing is sending Ari. My. My algorithm is flooded with Jewish stuff.

Ari Shaffir

I know.

Joe Rogan

My algorithm is flooded with like, Jew rules.

Jamie Vernon

It's just rules from like low level influencers in the HIDIC community. It' crazy what you've.

Joe Rogan

Like, I get so many of them every day, so I send them to him.

Shane Gillis

What are the rules?

Joe Rogan

Oh, it's all like, are you allowed when you. You're frying pan. When you use your frying pan for eggs, are you allowed to use it for me? Say you go on vacation and your. Your pot isn't kosher. What can you do on the Sabbath? You gotta take it to the ocean, throw it in the ocean. They're throwing the pots in the ocean to make it kosher. You have to let go of it. They have a rule. You have to drop it in the.

Shane Gillis

Water and let go.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, yeah, those people are. And it's also funny. Like, you click on the link you send you and the first thing you hear is.

Ari Shaffir

Tell them to put the fires out with the weather. Get some rain over there.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, they don't really control the weather, obviously.

Ari Shaffir

Obviously not.

Joe Rogan

Otherwise hurricanes wouldn't hit Florida.

Ari Shaffir

Ah, good point.

Jamie Vernon

They barely get their pots kosher. Yeah, no, they make them hit Florida so they get their wheels.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. It's hilarious that some people are saying climate change. This is climate change. This is about. That wasn't a Jew. That was a whiny liberal. This is climate change.

Jamie Vernon

Borderline J.

Joe Rogan

No, no, the. I'm doing a New York thing. I'm doing a New York thing that I'm doing the Jew. When they talk like this. This is a whiny liberal. It's climate change.

Ari Shaffir

Wake up.

Joe Rogan

No, it's arson, you idiots.

Ari Shaffir

I think it's Mr. Beast. He's setting up a new video.

Joe Rogan

Wow, that's a strong accusation.

Jamie Vernon

Bold.

Ari Shaffir

No, no, just kidding. But they've been trying to get rid of the homeless for a while, bro.

Joe Rogan

The homeless are doing it.

Ari Shaffir

Well, they're flammable.

Joe Rogan

Everyone is. But they. They're more inclined to use fire to get their anger out.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Superman actually caught people lighting things on fire. He filmed it. He put it up on his Instagram.

Ari Shaffir

Really?

Joe Rogan

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the middle of the firestorm, people were lighting things on fire to contribute to the fire.

Jamie Vernon

Wow.

Joe Rogan

You've got losers. You have 100,000 losers that are just camping on your street. What do you think is going to happen? What do you think is going to happen when the people with the houses are in jeopardy? What do you think is going to happen when these people that are living in $50 million houses and you're camping out a block away? Which is exactly what's going on over there.

Ari Shaffir

And the looting.

Joe Rogan

And the looting. Well, they looted people's houses. When they found out that places were getting evacuated, swarms of organized gangs were showing up. This lady said a hundred guys showed up in from front of this house and she thought they were helping her neighbor move. They just broke down the door and started stealing TVs, stealing everything.

Shane Gillis

The house burnt down. That's kind of an.

Joe Rogan

If the house burnt down. But that. What if the house doesn't burn down? You just stole all their.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, right.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

It's like you can't do that because it's a break.

Shane Gillis

Obviously, I'm not actually defending, but I.

Joe Rogan

See their point too. If I was super poor.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

If I was super poor and we were living in the fucking hood and then someone came along and said, listen, they're evacuating these fucking communities anyway, man. It. Let's go get paid. Like, let's go. Yeah.

Shane Gillis

The house is gonna burn down. They're gonna get insurance.

Joe Rogan

And if you live in LA and you get caught, they just let you go.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan

They just let you go.

Ari Shaffir

And then didn't Biden say he's given full coverage for this one? How can that be? That's so much money.

Shane Gillis

The same thing is, you know, college desk.

Jamie Vernon

He just says it.

Shane Gillis

Don't.

Joe Rogan

We're not going to pardon any beaten Trump. He said that too?

Shane Gillis

No, no.

Joe Rogan

In the election. Beat Trump. Oh, yeah. He said he could have beat him in a fight, too.

Ari Shaffir

That would be great.

Joe Rogan

Imagine those two fighting. How much would you pay?

Ari Shaffir

It'd be just like the Jake Paul.

Jamie Vernon

Dyson to be there.

Joe Rogan

That takes power.

Shane Gillis

Be so sad.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Trump would get him, though. Trump would fall. Trump would tackle him.

Joe Rogan

Trump would bite his face off. He would. He would grab his thumbs, shove them into his eyes and bite his face off.

Shane Gillis

Yeah. 100 nasty.

Joe Rogan

They're two totally different kinds of humans.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Biden is used to like Secret Service around him his whole life. Trump is a psychopath.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

He will throw those thumbs right his eyeballs. Like the mountain did to the gay.

Shane Gillis

Guy in Game of Thrones.

Jamie Vernon

Wasn't that a Steven Seagal movie too, where he did that?

Joe Rogan

Was it?

Jamie Vernon

That's probably who did with the Jamaicans. What? Who was that?

Joe Rogan

Steven Segal. Yeah, he had a movie. Yeah. With the sword fighting. He eyeballed the guy, man. Listen, man, if you watch the ufc, eyeball pokes, even to the most badass dudes in the world, are devastating. Crazy. Like a nutshot is way easier to recover from than a hard eye poke.

Ari Shaffir

That's true.

Jamie Vernon

It is funny to see them all tough and they go, owie, owie, owie, my eyeball. Yeah.

Joe Rogan

But it's just so crazy. We still have this. You still allow fingers? This is totally unnecessary. This doesn't contribute to fighting. Have it fingers free.

Ari Shaffir

Tell that to John Jones.

Joe Rogan

I've been saying. No, no. They need a glove that covers the fingers. It's real simple. And then you have thumbs still. But you're going to eliminate the amount. There it is. Called it. That's what Trump would do to Biden. So fake. It looks so real.

Jamie Vernon

Back then.

Shane Gillis

That was 1990. That stuck with you.

Joe Rogan

That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir

Was he fighting Predator?

Joe Rogan

Now, these were Jamaican drug dealers, I think. Or gang members.

Ari Shaffir

Jesus.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, it seems so real. When I was a kid. Wow.

Joe Rogan

Yo. You know, it's a good movie. Alien. Romulus, the new Alien movie. I went on a little vacation and I watched it on the plane. Oh, my God.

Shane Gillis

You gotta be careful, though, playing movies. Plane movies seem better than they are.

Jamie Vernon

It gets you every time.

Shane Gillis

I'm on a plane, I go, that movie was incredible.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

And I go home and show it to someone.

Joe Rogan

I cried watching Home Alone.

Ari Shaffir

I watched Rudy once. I was, like, fist bumping.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Hell, yeah.

Shane Gillis

McCusker walked by me and I was watching Guardians of the Galaxy. And it was at the end when it was just aliens. One of the guys dies in it, and then it's just a bunch of aliens show up and, like, celebrate his life.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

And I was sobbing. He walked by and it was just aliens.

Joe Rogan

Like, do you guys. Are you guys.

Jamie Vernon

What's wrong with you?

Joe Rogan

Are you guys old enough to remember when they would just show a movie on a plane?

Ari Shaffir

Yes. One movie.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, I know. You're old enough.

Jamie Vernon

Starting now.

Ari Shaffir

All right.

Joe Rogan

Ashtray combined. Yeah. You would have to pay for headsets.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

If you were cheap. You just watch the movie with no sound. Like you'd have to pay for those disposable headsets. I don't even know if you're allowed to use your own. Didn't they have, like, a special Jack?

Jamie Vernon

No one had their own. All you had was a Sony walk.

Joe Rogan

People had Walkmans. Walkman had a little Headphone Jack.

Jamie Vernon

Special Jack. It was a thing Jack.

Joe Rogan

Yes, that's right.

Jamie Vernon

And you try to put your thing in and it would go.

Joe Rogan

You can sort of hear it. That's right. Now I'm remembering that we were more.

Ari Shaffir

Of a community back then. We all to watch the same.

Shane Gillis

Why do the headphones that give you suck?

Joe Rogan

Not only do they suck sucks, but you're only renting them.

Shane Gillis

Well, no one keep mine. They hand out shitty disposable ones, which I know, that is why they suck. But they've got to be able to make them better.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, they're too loud. The planes are loud. So you don't have the noise cancellation. You're still getting like the.

Jamie Vernon

After they break in and make an announcement. That's at level 70.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan

Here's the question. Here's the real question. This episode is brought to you by Visible. You know how most wireless plans feel like they're designed to confuse you with, like, hidden fees, weird sub charges, family plans you don't even want. Not with Visible on the Visible plan, it's one line of unlimited 5G data for just $25 a month, flat rate, no surprises. Powered by Verizon's network, so you know it's solid. And here's the kicker. They're all digital. You can manage your plan in the app or online. Meaning no stores, no pushy salespeople, just you and your phone. And right now, Visible's got an insane deal. Use promo code rogan by January 31st and you will get the visible plan for just $20 a month for 25 months. That's $5 off every month for over two years. So go to visible.com rogan and check it out. It's wireless made. Simple terms apply. See their website for the details. How bad is it to have little electronic things in your ear?

Ari Shaffir

I do it all day, every day.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, I've done quite a bit.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

How mad is it for you? I mean, it can't be good.

Jamie Vernon

No, it's terrible.

Ari Shaffir

Well, I know it's like smoking, like.

Joe Rogan

People talk about, but it's one of those things where it's like, hotly debated among even conspiracy theorists. Like, some people say it's going to kill you and other people are going to say, where's the bodies?

Jamie Vernon

No, but your hearing goes down, right?

Joe Rogan

I don't think so. Well, you're hearing definitely goes down if you hear loud things.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

So. But if you have it low, you know, at a reasonable level and you have it in your ear, the real question is, what's the electrical shit doing to your head.

Shane Gillis

Oh.

Joe Rogan

What's the EMF frequency doing to your head?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, who the hell knows?

Shane Gillis

I'm gonna see what happens. I like headphones.

Ari Shaffir

Well, they've been saying it.

Joe Rogan

They say that plug in ones are better than the wireless. Plug in ones are. Okay.

Ari Shaffir

I can't live with that.

Jamie Vernon

Where are the bodies?

Ari Shaffir

They're the best.

Joe Rogan

They're so good.

Jamie Vernon

Right in your pocket.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, but they've been saying cell phone gives you cancer the balls for years. All that.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. I talked to some dude who had ball cancer, and he told me that he got ball cancer on his right ball because that's where he kept his phone. We're just looking at each other. I'm like, I'm not sure if that's real.

Ari Shaffir

Was that Lance Armstrong?

Joe Rogan

That was a regular dude. A normal man, I would imagine. Lance Armstrong. I mean, if just. I'm not a doctor, obviously, but if you spend that much time with your nuts getting smashed by your whole body while you're pumping your legs up and down, that's got to be irritating. And if you're not. Hurts. And your Lance Armstrong. You're gonna keep pumping? Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

You're gonna keep pumping. The.

Ari Shaffir

The. The roids or whatever. Who knows?

Joe Rogan

I don't think. I think it's more of. Well, I. I bet it's a bunch of. I bet it's a bunch of. I bet it's the amount of time on a. On a bike. Yeah, right. That's got to be brutal.

Shane Gillis

Stay off those things.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Stay away.

Jamie Vernon

Smart.

Shane Gillis

I was like, I'll do it twice again.

Joe Rogan

I'm not a doctor, but for a regular dryer.

Jamie Vernon

Laundry.

Joe Rogan

For a regular person. Like how? Let's. Let's ask. Let's find this out. Let's Google. Is there a higher rate of testicular cancer among cyclists?

Ari Shaffir

It's like CTE of the sack.

Joe Rogan

You're just constantly pressuring it. Yeah. You're getting hammered.

Shane Gillis

Your balls freak out one day and hit your wife.

Joe Rogan

Your ball. Just kill a cop.

Ari Shaffir

You're gonna make retarded kids with it. It's bad spot.

Joe Rogan

Your balls are getting smashed, like all day on a hard seat. It's not even a comfortable seat.

Ari Shaffir

No.

Joe Rogan

Remember those seats we have when we were kids with, like, the back to it?

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah. You remember that already? Running a hula hoop down the street with a stick.

Joe Rogan

Since. Okay. Does cycling increase risk for testicular or prostate cancer? Good. I'm not. I'm not alone in my concern. Yeah, so it says professional cyclist. Number of studies have looked into the Link. The findings to date are inconclusive. There's a question comes up often. Well, the thing is, it's like, how many of those dudes are like, yeah, how many dive? How many are getting cancer compared to, like, regular people? Just give me the data.

Ari Shaffir

Google that. The amount of activity they're doing also, like, counteracts cancer stuff.

Joe Rogan

Right, right, of course, of course. That makes sense.

Jamie Vernon

Plenty of vitamin D. Maybe it does.

Joe Rogan

Up until a point. Like, like Tour de France. Like, I read an article where they were explaining and a doctor actually told me that he said, this is true. You're better off doing the Tour de France on steroids. Of course, it's actually healthier for you to do it on steroids. What? I said, how? And he said, because it's so hard, your body gets destroyed in a regular immune system, a regular endocrine system. Just can't keep up. Just can't keep up. You almost, almost need blood doping. You almost need epo. You almost need steroids.

Ari Shaffir

Damn. The problem is the guys in on the street dressed as Lance Armstrong who think they own the road.

Joe Rogan

Oh, yeah. Problem. They take over the whole lane and they're going five miles an hour. Shorts.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, the shorts. The pointy helmet.

Jamie Vernon

Shut up.

Joe Rogan

Well, the thing is, when they get a group of them together and they act like a gang and they take over the whole lane, the guys go to the side. I'll be real patient and I'll.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

You know, but I want to go to work. I have stuff to do.

Ari Shaffir

And I could kill you so easily. Distance cycling is the most. Our highest rated.

Joe Rogan

Endurance.

Jamie Vernon

Soccer's got to be up at 8. Okay, 8.

Joe Rogan

Boxing's 8.6. Interesting. Depends on who you're boxing.

Ari Shaffir

Swimming.

Joe Rogan

Wow. I don't know. How are they proving that? Because where's wrestling? Yeah, where's wrestling? If you don't think wrestling is in the top, you're out of your mind. It's way down there. Off.

Jamie Vernon

What is it getting your skin. Endurance.

Joe Rogan

Listen to me. Off. Basketball is ahead of wrestling. Off.

Ari Shaffir

They play longer.

Joe Rogan

Shut your dirty mouth.

Shane Gillis

And American football should be up there.

Joe Rogan

That's. Yes.

Jamie Vernon

Too many breaks.

Ari Shaffir

There's a lot of breaks.

Jamie Vernon

Grueling, for sure.

Joe Rogan

Soccer. Soccer for cardio fitness.

Jamie Vernon

Never stop.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, never.

Shane Gillis

You do stop. They walk around.

Joe Rogan

No one's punching you in the body. Yeah, okay. Water pole. Way harder than those. Way harder. Because you're getting endurance while you're getting pummeled.

Ari Shaffir

I see.

Joe Rogan

And then wrestling. A guy is clinching up with you 100% of the time.

Shane Gillis

Have you tried to. Have you. You just wrestle? We wrestle sometimes. No homo.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, that's true. It is so hard to do. And Olympic wrestling, like, those guys are the fittest athletes on earth. They're animals, those guys. Their strength and conditioning routine is fucking crazy. When Daniel Cormier was telling me about this Russian dude that he could not beat, he's like, we're so lucky this guy never fought. He goes, because if I forget the dude's name, like, Ramzat. Some crazy ass name. He said his strength and conditioning coach, he couldn't break him. He just kept giving him more shit to do, and he wanted more. He was like, what? Fuck, man. He goes, I was trying to break him. He goes, he used Daniel Cormier's routine. He just kept adding things. And this dude just wanted to keep doing more. He said he would have beaten all of us. He said we would never been successful. This guy fought in the ufc.

Jamie Vernon

He needs a junta to overthrow.

Joe Rogan

See if you can find who that guy's name is. But he's animal.

Ari Shaffir

Who's that new guy beat O'Malley. That guy's pretty.

Joe Rogan

Oh, Marab DW. He's fighting this weekend against the toughest guy he's ever faced. He's fighting Umar Nurmagomedov. Lamar is Khabib's cousin, and he's a savage.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, he's.

Joe Rogan

But he's different than Khabib in that he's a striker. Like, he's got wicked wrestling and wicked submissions, but he started off as a kickboxer. His kicks are nasty.

Shane Gillis

I want to know who kicked Khabib off that plane.

Ari Shaffir

Wait, what?

Joe Rogan

Is that crazy? Isn't that.

Shane Gillis

I don't know what happened.

Joe Rogan

Some lady came up to Khabib when he was on the flight because he was in the escape row, whatever it is he was on. What airline was it? It wasn't Alaska. It wasn't Alaska.

Jamie Vernon

Okay.

Joe Rogan

No, it was something frontier. So she. There's a video of it. It's crazy. He's telling her, you know, I can do this. I'm by the state. Like, I understand English. I could speak English. And they kick him off the plane.

Jamie Vernon

Because he couldn't do the exit row thing, bro.

Joe Rogan

It's crazy.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, the verbal response. Why is he flying?

Joe Rogan

Front lady comes to me with questions.

Jamie Vernon

Very rude.

Joe Rogan

From the very beginning. He's saving up his money, man. That's why he's not fighting anymore. He doesn't give a. He doesn't care, man. The guy drives a Toyota.

Ari Shaffir

Oh.

Joe Rogan

Even though I speak Very decent English and can understand everything and agreed to assist. She still insists on removing me from my seat. What was the base for that? Racial, national or other one. I'm not sure. But after two minutes of conversation, she called security and I was deep plane from this aircraft. After 1.5 hours, I boarded another airline. One and left to my destination. I did my best to stay calm and respectful, as you could see in the video. But those crew members could do better next time and just be nice with clients.

Jamie Vernon

Pretty calm.

Joe Rogan

Very calm.

Shane Gillis

Way to say he had to work so hard with the English on that tweet.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Just to be like, I can't.

Joe Rogan

I wish I was on that plane. I wish I was on that.

Jamie Vernon

Maybe she was just a Connor fan.

Joe Rogan

I wish. Maybe she thinks Jon Jones is the goat.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

She's like, off. I'm a Jon Jones fan. The goat talk between those two.

Ari Shaffir

It's weird when these super mercenary killers just can't win. He's like, I gotta just get off the plane.

Shane Gillis

I can't beat you up.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. Meanwhile, he can beat up everybody on the planet.

Joe Rogan

It's really crazy when you.

Jamie Vernon

When you watch it remove the whole plane.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. You can play it if you want.

Jamie Vernon

Wouldn't you just switch sweets to somebody?

Ari Shaffir

Damn.

Joe Rogan

She's saying they're not comfortable. What is there?

Ari Shaffir

He should have just started swinging. You know, too bad she's not trans.

Jamie Vernon

I'm not going to do this back and forth. I will call a supervisor.

Joe Rogan

You can either. Wow.

Ari Shaffir

I don't get it.

Joe Rogan

We can go ahead and escort you off the plane.

Ari Shaffir

This is crazy.

Joe Rogan

Okay, I'll call a supervisor. And then we're gonna have to reboot.

Ari Shaffir

I mean, didn't Mike Tyson hit a guy on a plane?

Joe Rogan

Yeah, but that's a different situation. Was a drunk guy. That was with Mike Tyson.

Ari Shaffir

He deserves.

Jamie Vernon

At this point. He's like, yeah, call supervisor. He'll have my side on this.

Joe Rogan

Well, not only that, he was calm and respectful. He obviously speaks English and he knew. Yeah. He said, I'll assist. I'll open the door.

Jamie Vernon

Fucking white ladies.

Joe Rogan

It's. People are crazy.

Shane Gillis

I sit in that fucking row. They put fucking.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Slobs in that row.

Joe Rogan

Would you love to be on that flight? Go. Ma'am, do you know who that is?

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Like, do you know who that is? Like, just let me tell you who that is. Let me Google him real quick.

Ari Shaffir

He's the Eagle.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Jamie Vernon

The only reason he's not killing you right now is because he's not in his own country.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Oh, my God. Imagine if she did that in Dagestan. They throw in a hole. They got a hole just for liberal ladies.

Ari Shaffir

So weird.

Joe Rogan

Pile them up.

Shane Gillis

Honestly, we're laughing. They probably got a couple holes.

Jamie Vernon

That's a nice hole, bro.

Joe Rogan

If you live in a place where war was recent, they don't. They have no room for horseshit. You know, if you go to those Chechnya type places, like, there's no room for horseshit.

Ari Shaffir

No.

Joe Rogan

No room for horseshit. They're going old school. They kill gay guys. They do wild. Yeah, they do wild.

Ari Shaffir

I think it's illegal to be gay.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. There's countries where it's illegal to be gay. They'll kill you.

Ari Shaffir

Paradise.

Shane Gillis

Was it.

Jamie Vernon

Why are you gay?

Joe Rogan

But you know what's crazy? Why are you gay? That guy's amazing.

Shane Gillis

You are transgender.

Jamie Vernon

Legit. Had a question, didn't understand it. This makes no sense.

Shane Gillis

Who says I am gay? Gay.

Joe Rogan

You are gay. You are.

Ari Shaffir

It's weird. Of Khabib. Just at an airport.

Joe Rogan

He's had a car. Gay rights activist. Mr. Should I call you Mr. Julian Onzima. Thank you for coming in. Thank you for. Good morning. Morning to you. Why are you gay?

Jamie Vernon

Says I'm gay. What?

Joe Rogan

You are gay.

Ari Shaffir

Is that Karen Bass?

Joe Rogan

You are a transgender and you're a gay rights activist and an outspoken lesbian homosexual. How can I describe you now? We're looking at a raging debate. I mean, he's writing me out.

Shane Gillis

This is gonna sound gay to me. That's actually like an impressive activist.

Joe Rogan

Should someone be gay?

Jamie Vernon

The lady.

Shane Gillis

Yeah. I mean, she's in a country where people are like, what the fuck's wrong with you? She's like, we're just trying to get some rights.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. She's not tweeting about it. She's going there.

Joe Rogan

Like, it just shows you like Uganda. You can. You can complain all you want about.

Ari Shaffir

America she's gonna be gone to. They're gonna throw her off a building.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Literally. Yeah. There's parts of this world. What I was saying about places where, you know, you can't be gay, like heavily Muslim places. My friend Evan, the black rifle coffee guy, you just met him the other day. Evan Hafer, he was telling me a story on the podcast about how many guys over there kids in Afghanistan. He said, it's unbelievable, but it's not gay.

Shane Gillis

We were just having this conversation.

Joe Rogan

Boys. Boys and girls. Girls get married off when they're like nine years old. 80 year old men. It's crazy.

Shane Gillis

Well, that's in the crown.

Joe Rogan

You're looking at a part of the world that, like, never went through the Enlightenment. You know, you're looking at a part of the world that's been war torn and, like, sort of separate from. They're like old school people. This is like a window into the past.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan

You can look at it in 2025 and it's a window to probably how the whole world behaved a thousand years ago.

Ari Shaffir

Why aren't more people mad at that?

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, they didn't.

Ari Shaffir

Why do we get yelled at for saying homo or whatever?

Joe Rogan

Because they're not. They don't publicize it. So it's not something that gets discussed until someone comes on a podcast and talks about it or you go serve over there overseas. Most guys don't know.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

My friends who've gone there and experienced it say it's. It truly curdles your blood.

Jamie Vernon

They just all have their boys all.

Joe Rogan

All over the place. Open, open everywhere.

Ari Shaffir

So to them they're like Leonardo. Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

They're not gonna think they're doing.

Joe Rogan

There's videos.

Shane Gillis

Titanic is number one film.

Joe Rogan

There's videos of boys, like, dancing for old men, like, sticking their ass out and twerking for old men. It's crazy. They film it.

Ari Shaffir

Whoa. See Diddy, we hold him to the fire.

Jamie Vernon

He's just Muslim.

Ari Shaffir

That's just normal up there.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Jeffrey Epstein.

Joe Rogan

It's not even regular. It's. But it's not like regular Muslim. It's like. There's something ancient about what that is.

Ari Shaffir

100.

Joe Rogan

Islam's not.

Jamie Vernon

It's middle East.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Not like.

Joe Rogan

It's just. This part of the world is.

Ari Shaffir

It's not my dick. Dave Chappelle is Muslim, right? Yes. That. That area.

Jamie Vernon

How do you.

Joe Rogan

How can you be Muslim and drink, though?

Jamie Vernon

You can be.

Ari Shaffir

Good question.

Joe Rogan

Can you be Jew and not throw your pan in the water?

Jamie Vernon

Yeah. You're just not the best Jew. You also. You gossip. Yeah. You're still Christian, bro.

Ari Shaffir

The biggest tunnel.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Borat song. Throw the Jew down the well.

Shane Gillis

Be like, bro.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

It's a catchy song.

Shane Gillis

You must grab him by his horns.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, my God.

Jamie Vernon

The running of the Jew was such a great opening.

Joe Rogan

He came back and did a. A one like years later. He took a long time off of Borat. Let it kind of go away, you know, So a bunch of people don't know what it is. And then he pulled it off again.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

He did a Bruno once.

Shane Gillis

Bruno was the funniest thing, dude.

Ari Shaffir

Is that right? Because that one bombed. I think they.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, Bruno was hilarious.

Jamie Vernon

It Was so funny. He'd go and get wrestlers.

Shane Gillis

Love it.

Ari Shaffir

I'll watch on the plane and cry.

Joe Rogan

Guys. So courageous.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

The balls it takes to pull that off and make it that funny.

Ari Shaffir

Although Borat, too. He's kind of on a lot of poor people. And I got weird.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

I don't know if you saw that one.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. But, you know, you take your swings.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, sure.

Joe Rogan

Sometimes you connect. Sometimes you're on poor people.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, I guess so.

Joe Rogan

It used to be okay to do that. Like, Sam Kinison's best bit was the bit about starving kids in Africa.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, my God, it's so funny.

Joe Rogan

Walking bit was so good.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, where there's food.

Joe Rogan

Hey, come here. That's sand. You want to be 100 years from now, sand? We got deserts in America, too. We just don't live in them.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. George Carlin saw that and was like, that guy's good.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Which gotta be a great feeling because.

Joe Rogan

He had that preacher thing. You know, he had that preacher thing that he brought to stand up. And it makes you realize, like, God, all these alt guys who get mad at people, like, putting out effort, like, you're being silly. It's the. Whatever's the best way you can get that idea out. And for Kinison, imagine him doing his deadpan, like. Shut up. Shut the.

Jamie Vernon

Part of it.

Joe Rogan

It's part of his primal anger.

Jamie Vernon

Same Hedberg being weird. It's like part of delivery.

Joe Rogan

Yes, right. Same thing.

Jamie Vernon

And the heroin, they asked him, Kinnison, like, how come you don't. You make fun of women? You don't make fun of men. He goes, a man has never made me want to drive into a tree.

Ari Shaffir

He died by a drunk driver.

Jamie Vernon

By a drunk.

Ari Shaffir

By a drunk.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Crazy.

Joe Rogan

Well, I always remember his bits. You know, when I was in high school, one of my friends killed somebody driving drunk.

Ari Shaffir

Really?

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't good friend of mine, but as a kid, I went to high.

Ari Shaffir

School with Ted Kennedy.

Joe Rogan

I would say hi to him. Nice guy. He fucked up. He got really drunk one night and he crashed his car and he killed his friend. And so Kinnison used to have this joke where he would be like. He goes, we're gonna drink and we're gonna drive, and we're gonna pull it off. You know why? Because we do it every fucking night. But to me, this was like.

Ari Shaffir

That ended well.

Joe Rogan

This was Kinnison when he was doing, like, an impression of Kinison. Like, Kinison is a cautionary tale.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan

Because Kinison was the best on earth for, like, Three or four years, the best on earth. But the partying and the fame and it all went away. If you're a. You're a stand up comedy fan, I implore you. This is what you do. You go listen to Louder Than Hell. It's hard to find because it was so homophobic that Warner Brothers wouldn't sell.

Jamie Vernon

It for a while.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so homophobic. But please, it's art. Watch that. Listen to that. And then watch his HBO special. They're both fucking great. They're both greats. Two amazing hours. Then watch have you seen me lately? Then watch the one he did after that. They're so bad. Yeah, they're so bad. He's like playing rock and roll music's got a bandana on. He's so fat now. He's so fat. He's like a ball.

Jamie Vernon

He believed his own hype, too. He really bought into it.

Ari Shaffir

It was.

Joe Rogan

He was selling that instead of being Sam Kinison.

Ari Shaffir

Right.

Joe Rogan

So it's like he got to the dance and then he was selling on Sam Kinison instead of the dance. The insight.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And the comedy. It was just too much party and too much blow, too much food and drink.

Ari Shaffir

And he had girls on leashes in the beginning. It was silly.

Shane Gillis

God damn.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, it all just. It just became so dumb.

Ari Shaffir

Makes you think, does the Middle east love 80s comedy? Just Eddie Murphy like these faggots, and they're like, yes, yes.

Joe Rogan

They probably do.

Ari Shaffir

This is relatable.

Joe Rogan

Yes. But not if it's boy. Right? Yeah. It's like those. That. Here's the thing about Kinison, though. This is what people have to kind of understand. Until Kinison and Dice come along, no one selling out arenas. This is a new thing.

Jamie Vernon

But did Kinison do arenas?

Joe Rogan

He did pretty big places because I saw him at Great Woods. Great woods in Mansfield, Massachusetts. Find out what the capacity for that is.

Ari Shaffir

Never heard of Great Woods?

Joe Rogan

I used to work there.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, is that.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, I was a security guard there.

Jamie Vernon

Ralphie opened. Ralphie opened for once. He won a contest when he was a kid. Wow. When he was just starting. He was 17. Won a contest for Sam Kenneston.

Joe Rogan

Hold on, On.

Ari Shaffir

That's a fact.

Jamie Vernon

Would it be. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Would it be better just not even look it up?

Joe Rogan

19,000. Okay, so he played in 19,000. No, no, that's the X Infinity Center. That's different.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, expanded.

Joe Rogan

Oh, okay. So it used to be 12,000. So that's where I saw him. So I saw him in a 12,000 seater.

Shane Gillis

That's crazy.

Joe Rogan

But when I saw him, it was when he was already declining. It was the. Or the material was just not. I didn't engage with it at all. Like, the first thing I thought was genius. I saw the HBO thing. I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And then when I saw him live, I was like, oh, this is like. This is missing stuff. It's like, missing. It's not funny. It's missing. It's like a lot of hype, but it. Like, he was just partying, man.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And, you know, he just became bigger than life and then probably didn't have any friends. Ralphie Mary shares a story of Sam Kinison jump starting his career.

Ari Shaffir

There you go.

Joe Rogan

Wow. That's crazy. So it is true. Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

He said he came in and they were like. They were like, all, like. Like, darted up like they were doing blow, and they're like, hey, you're that kid. Okay, I'll meet you in a second. Like, close the door. We're doing.

Joe Rogan

Thinking about the numbers. Like, how can Ralphie May. When. What year was Ralphie May? 17. You know, because I was 21 in 88. And so how much. When did Ralphie open up for Sam? It has to be around then, because Sam was dead. Yeah, Sam was dead. And when was he dead, Jamie?

Jamie Vernon

90 something.

Joe Rogan

91 or 90. I was in New York, so it had to be 92.

Ari Shaffir

92.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Bam.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, that's about.

Joe Rogan

So he has to be opening up for him somewhere in the United. I didn't know that Ralphie had done comedy that long.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, he was good. He's a good comic.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, that was. That's way crushed.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, the stool.

Joe Rogan

Such a friendly dude, too.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Such a sweetheart.

Ari Shaffir

Also, he was so fat that he could do the N word.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

You got it worse than me.

Shane Gillis

It's like, big pun.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Everyone's like, you can say it.

Ari Shaffir

I'm gonna take that name. A little fun.

Joe Rogan

Well, I think in New York, Puerto Ricans get a pass.

Shane Gillis

They do.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

I think.

Shane Gillis

Big pun. For real.

Jamie Vernon

Dominica.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Wikipedia says he won a contest open for.

Joe Rogan

Oh, my God.

Jamie Vernon

How could I be right?

Joe Rogan

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Shane Gillis

Know this is off topic. Google how much Big Pun weighed when he died?

Joe Rogan

Oh, no.

Shane Gillis

You're never going to guess how big he was.

Jamie Vernon

How much did he buster it.

Shane Gillis

It was hilarious.

Joe Rogan

Tell me now.

Shane Gillis

Just guess.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, I see.

Joe Rogan

I'm not a good guess.

Jamie Vernon

420.

Shane Gillis

Oh, yeah, I guess you. Hey, wait. Can you show a picture of Big Pun?

Joe Rogan

Picture? I could give you a. A roundabout picture.

Shane Gillis

Fat Joe and Big Pun together on the red carpet. It's one of the funniest pictures you've ever seen.

Jamie Vernon

Fat Joe lost weight finally.

Shane Gillis

How are these guys?

Joe Rogan

Cool. Yeah, he lost a lot of weight.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan

Hilarious. Damn.

Ari Shaffir

Big and tall. Store killed it.

Joe Rogan

Okay. His knees have to be screaming in agony.

Jamie Vernon

Which Spider man villains they look like.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan

Kingpin. Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Wow.

Ari Shaffir

He's got the Doc Ock.

Joe Rogan

Also, when you're that heavy, do you really want that much weight around your neck?

Shane Gillis

That's nothing at that point.

Ari Shaffir

It's like riding Free Willy at that point.

Joe Rogan

Okay. Numbers.

Ari Shaffir

So much fabric.

Joe Rogan

How much you think he weighs?

Jamie Vernon

Five.

Ari Shaffir

The one on the left. I'd say 580.

Joe Rogan

600. 600 minimum.

Ari Shaffir

Big ton.

Shane Gillis

Check it out.

Ari Shaffir

698.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Wow, that looks like a 600 for me.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, he put one foot on two different scales and then he went over the. Over the total.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, bro.

Shane Gillis

He was like the best. You ever watch him?

Joe Rogan

No, Big Pun.

Shane Gillis

Old Big Pun is like, oh, his raps. He was like the best.

Ari Shaffir

Really?

Joe Rogan

Phenomenal. Yeah, he's phenomenal. But yeah, that's actually in a Vinnie Pad song. He says Big Pun was the best.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, yeah, the Italian boxer.

Joe Rogan

No, Vinnie Paz, the rapper. Oh, you know Vinny Paz, the rapper from Jedi. Mind Tricks, bro.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, for a second.

Joe Rogan

Give me a little bit.

Shane Gillis

So good.

Ari Shaffir

Is he still alive?

Shane Gillis

Maybe not live. He's probably a little.

Ari Shaffir

No, bro.

Joe Rogan

He's phenomenal.

Jamie Vernon

Rap live kind of blows.

Ari Shaffir

Got a little help?

Joe Rogan

It doesn't. It's just a different thing. Yeah, he's a little out of breath, but it's real.

Shane Gillis

I'd be out of breath. You ever try to sing that song?

Joe Rogan

Pull up cheese steaks from Vinnie Pass. You guys never heard of Vinnie Pass? He's from Philly.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, it was a big pun.

Joe Rogan

Eating. Do you know him?

Shane Gillis

Yeah, I know of him, bro.

Joe Rogan

Give me the video for cheese.

Ari Shaffir

A boxer.

Joe Rogan

There was a video. There was a boxer from Rhode Island.

Ari Shaffir

Yes.

Joe Rogan

But this is. This is a friend of mine, man.

Shane Gillis

That's why he likes Big P. This guy's good.

Joe Rogan

This one song will turn you into a Vinnie Pass fam.

Shane Gillis

Look how beautiful Philadelphia is.

Ari Shaffir

It had a moment.

Joe Rogan

Wait, can you go back to Pre Pandemic?

Shane Gillis

This is where I called that guy a. And he. He said I was a piece of. Right there. That was the light. I was racing to that light. Because helium's right here.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

I was racing to that light, and I saw that guy. The whole length of that bridge.

Ari Shaffir

Is that the train station?

Shane Gillis

Bike down.

Ari Shaffir

That's the 30th Street.

Shane Gillis

That's 30th. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

This is before tranq A knife in.

Joe Rogan

My palm Sharper than a sniper in arm righteous Islam hypocrite To fight to be calm My life is just torn Bipolar, icy and warm My life in a song the reason why the Viking and gone A bison is born army of God Michael is born the uranium fission secret of the hydrogen bomb the Bible is gone. Y'all are watching a Viking perform in.

Ari Shaffir

The non Millie Loud.

Shane Gillis

Looks like Pat Noswell.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

It'S Pat Oswald's very violent cousin. Good dude, though.

Ari Shaffir

Wow.

Joe Rogan

He's really good. That guy's got some bangers, man. He's got some bangers.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, he's one.

Joe Rogan

There's, like. There's a few rappers out there that don't get, like, the respect they deserve. That dude has some bangers. He's got some great songs.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah. Was. Is he Puerto Rican?

Joe Rogan

No, he's Italian.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, he's Italian. Damn.

Joe Rogan

I think almost a Tyler. He might have some other stuff that looks.

Shane Gillis

That's got South Philly written all Over Philadelphia.

Joe Rogan

There we go. Giant boxing historian, too. He is comedian Patton Oswald. That's hilarious.

Ari Shaffir

He's like his Tyler Durden. It's.

Joe Rogan

Well, if you wore a fat suit, Vinny would have to wear a fat suit.

Ari Shaffir

There you go.

Joe Rogan

Which is crazy.

Ari Shaffir

Nailed it. Yeah. A lot of comedians become rappers. That's always a bummer. Tom McCaffrey.

Shane Gillis

He'S got a band.

Jamie Vernon

Band. Sagal is a rapper.

Shane Gillis

See, Saga is actually kind of good.

Ari Shaffir

There's a couple out there. It's all words. It's lyrics. You know, it's jokes.

Joe Rogan

That's so funny.

Ari Shaffir

Lil Wayne has some lyrics where you're like, that is super funny.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Oh, yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, yeah. Danny Brown. Danny Brown stuff is fun.

Ari Shaffir

There you go.

Joe Rogan

Definitely put you out like Hannibal Burris.

Shane Gillis

The Drake. The Drake. Kendrick Beef had some. Very funny.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Yes.

Shane Gillis

Drake said to Ken, he's like, is it when you put your hands on your woman, is it self defense because she's bigger than you? Very funny. He made fun of me Tiny the whole time. Called him pedophile and kind of won.

Joe Rogan

What are you doing, man?

Ari Shaffir

Take it easy.

Joe Rogan

Slow down, boys. Jesus.

Shane Gillis

Drake.

Ari Shaffir

One that escalated.

Shane Gillis

I stand by it.

Jamie Vernon

The best was the whatever. The original, like, diss rap from what's his name that Kanye put him onto. He's like, you. You have a child you do not take care of.

Shane Gillis

Oh, what's his name?

Jamie Vernon

The Snakes Push a T. God damn, that was hard. Not the best song.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, I don't know it.

Jamie Vernon

None of these diss tracks. You can really, like, dance.

Shane Gillis

You could with. Well, yeah. You can't. That's why Kendricks was so good, because he made it. He made it like a pop.

Joe Rogan

Well, there's number one song. The number one was Nas and J either.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, bro.

Jamie Vernon

Which song?

Joe Rogan

Jay Z called Ether and up. He got the greatest lyricist of all time angry at him. And he wrote a song where he cooked Jay Z for like, five minutes. He cooks him.

Shane Gillis

It's like. And sometimes rapping. He's just talking. He's like, you're an ugly.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, bro. It's so good.

Ari Shaffir

He is ugly. That's how it starts.

Joe Rogan

All right.

Ari Shaffir

All right.

Jamie Vernon

What's up?

Joe Rogan

Why don't we play a little bit of it? It. Let's play a bit of it.

Shane Gillis

The beginning's hilarious.

Ari Shaffir

Can we. Are we going to lose the rights to YouTube?

Joe Rogan

Yeah, we'll probably have.

Jamie Vernon

What's up up, guys? Hey, yo, I know you ain't talking ether.

Joe Rogan

Give me a Liz.

Ari Shaffir

He went a hardcore Christian.

Joe Rogan

It starts off with gunshots. I know you ain't talking about me, dog. Oh, you've been on my dick. You with your soul like ether Teach you the king, you know you Johnson across the belly I prove you lost the red. Brace yourself for the main event. Y'all impatiently waiting. It's like an AIDS test.

Jamie Vernon

What's the results?

Joe Rogan

Not positive. Who's the best pop knoz and big ain't no best east, west, north, south floor style greetings I embrace y'all with napalm blows up no guts left chest face gone how can I be garbage? Send me autos at your cartage burner at the side of your dome Come out of my throne I got this locksense not one I am the truth.

Ari Shaffir

I can't keep up with these blacks.

Joe Rogan

I can't so quick.

Ari Shaffir

Trying to hear it, but it's.

Jamie Vernon

I listen to rap song, like, 10 times.

Ari Shaffir

Me, too. I'm an old honky.

Jamie Vernon

I got to see it written.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

I can't follow along.

Ari Shaffir

I'd like to see it written.

Jamie Vernon

A lot of lyrics. I'm just like, I. I got to see it on paper.

Shane Gillis

It's actually what I want to start doing. I was watching.

Joe Rogan

You got to see it on paper. I missing half the thing.

Ari Shaffir

You miss one line, then you miss another line.

Shane Gillis

You ever watch, like, black guys hear white music for the first time?

Ari Shaffir

I love that.

Shane Gillis

I might do that with you guys. Let's just let you listen to rap. And you guys both go, what?

Ari Shaffir

I'm in.

Joe Rogan

Have you ever seen the YouTube channel? Have you ever seen the YouTube channel Tribal People? There's a YouTube channel called Tribal People. Try.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And they like, try Kentucky Fried Chicken. Try all these different.

Shane Gillis

They get Sprite. They're like.

Joe Rogan

And then I heard it got demonetized. I think they felt like they were taking advantage of those guys.

Ari Shaffir

Well, we're helping them. We showed them Sprite.

Joe Rogan

I don't think these guys even know what the fuck YouTube is.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Like, these guys are, like, legit tribal people. He's got some sort of a connect with them. He, like, gives him a bag of rice, and then he's making millions of dollars. I don't know if that's what's happening.

Ari Shaffir

He got the right.

Joe Rogan

I would wonder. Can we go here? Some sort of a deal with those fellas.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

But either way, it's.

Jamie Vernon

I'm sure they change beads and blankets channel.

Joe Rogan

It's fun watching people that have never experienced, like, American culture. Try a Ding Dong.

Jamie Vernon

You ever see you fat black chicks try Jewish food?

Joe Rogan

No.

Jamie Vernon

They try, like, matzo. Like, oh, not bad. Good cracker.

Shane Gillis

Oh, I got a good one. You wanna. You guys want to hear my impression of Frank Sinatra giving tribal people rice?

Joe Rogan

Sure.

Shane Gillis

That's rice.

Ari Shaffir

I like it.

Joe Rogan

Oh, my God. It's so corny.

Jamie Vernon

It's not bad.

Shane Gillis

Matt R. Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan

You're doing a Norman before, but you, like, set it up and everything. It was beautiful. You, like, created the environment for a Norman.

Jamie Vernon

Yep.

Ari Shaffir

I wanted to hear it. I was.

Joe Rogan

I was on board. Like, you created. You created an environment for it. You didn't just do it Norman. So Norman's like a response. Like, you made room and then you made your own Norman.

Ari Shaffir

Have you seen Matt Rice? He's the Asian comic doing arenas. He's doing only cloud work.

Joe Rogan

I heard he got his jaw done. Cloud work.

Shane Gillis

Thank you.

Joe Rogan

Matt Rice.

Shane Gillis

Matt Rice.

Ari Shaffir

Where you from?

Joe Rogan

Oh, no.

Ari Shaffir

You get out of neighborhood, you must find something.

Joe Rogan

I bet you want something. I did.

Ari Shaffir

You want water?

Jamie Vernon

I don't get out.

Ari Shaffir

All right. This is living, boy. You're about to get an influx in Texas with the fires. It's about to get a triple ton of people here.

Joe Rogan

Listen, I bet we can get more comments.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Somebody lost their home.

Joe Rogan

I'm looking at new spaces. I'm looking at new things.

Ari Shaffir

Well, Whitney's about this house.

Shane Gillis

She was thinking about Texas anyway.

Joe Rogan

She's thinking about Texas anyway. But it was very close to her house.

Ari Shaffir

Her posts are getting a little unhinged. Well, she's got to get over here first of all.

Joe Rogan

She's already unhinged in the middle of a war zone. Like, we got illegals lighting fires that are causing $150 billion worth of damage. If they. If someone dropped a bomb on the Palisades, it wouldn't have done as much damage. True, except it would have killed more people. Yeah, but if they evacuated the area because they knew a bomb was gonna hit and they. And the bomb did that, like, that's just like a bomb.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And if there's human beings that lit those fires and caused that to happen, which it seems there are. They. It was literally like they had a bomb. It's just. We don't think about it that way because it's not an actual bomb.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, it's slower.

Ari Shaffir

Free Palisades.

Jamie Vernon

Free Palace.

Joe Rogan

It's not even a little out.

Jamie Vernon

Is it going strong?

Joe Rogan

Going strong.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, it's still going, baby.

Joe Rogan

They said the. The winds are going to get to 70 miles an hour tonight.

Ari Shaffir

It's weird seeing rich people get. Because they always get away with it because they can have a private jet or private security. You can't have a private fire department.

Joe Rogan

Well, they actually can.

Shane Gillis

You can.

Joe Rogan

You can't. I didn't know that Kanye had one that set up at his house in Calabasas. Yeah, because when I got evacuated in 2018, I know the people in Hidden Hills, which was down the road from me, not too far from where I was living. People in Hidden Hills were the really rich folks. The celebrities had private fire departments. So you hire someone to come and protect your home exclusively.

Shane Gillis

Die there, go down with the ship crazy. Pay homeless guys. You got.

Jamie Vernon

Can't leave my friend Bud. You got nothing to lose.

Joe Rogan

My friend Bud has never evacuated. He lives in Bell Canyon. I evacuated three times. He does not evacuate. He stays at his house with a garden hose, and he fights it to the bitter end.

Shane Gillis

That's the one thing I would. I would. I can see staying for a hurricane and being like, we're gonna sit here.

Joe Rogan

And saved his house.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Really save his house. Yep. He got a bunch of hoses, and he fucking saved his house. He kept the fire. The fire destroyed the entire. Like, he lives on the edge of a canyon. The entire canyon was gone, and he saved his house.

Jamie Vernon

Didn't you drive home once where the fire was on one side of the highway and not the other?

Joe Rogan

One side of the highway for an hour.

Jamie Vernon

You could feel it.

Joe Rogan

Well, you could see it. It was coming down like snow. Like, the ashes were dropping like snow. And I saw a dead guy. Saw a guy who's trying to run across the road, and he got hit by a car.

Shane Gillis

Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan

I always saw, like, his leg. My friend saw him get hit. Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Yikes.

Joe Rogan

I saw him as I was passing. I saw, like, his leg. It's one of those weird memories where it's like, did I just see that? Like, what did I just say? Yeah, like, it took me a while.

Jamie Vernon

To, like, your mind's like, don't let that in.

Joe Rogan

What did I see?

Shane Gillis

I saw a guy get his head smushed.

Ari Shaffir

Really?

Shane Gillis

He's a tow truck driver. He got out on the. To change it, and a truck hit him. And I was, like, the first car to drive past, and there was just a guy without a head.

Ari Shaffir

Whoa.

Jamie Vernon

We saw a guy at the Hyatt, the old. The Andaz in the front pet. Like, we saw it. Just, like, you look and he was, like, there in the air, and you see a bounce.

Ari Shaffir

No way is there a bounce roof.

Jamie Vernon

One of the balconies. He used have balconies facing sunset.

Ari Shaffir

Was that Brody all Right. Cut that son of a.

Joe Rogan

Well, that was where the guy, during the strike, committed suicide.

Jamie Vernon

From up there.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, that's right.

Joe Rogan

That's right. Oh, no. You son of a.

Ari Shaffir

You ever seen a varice of men?

Joe Rogan

That is a crazy story. The story of the strike, when you realize that at one point in time, they were getting no money.

Jamie Vernon

No money for comedy.

Joe Rogan

No money.

Ari Shaffir

Leno saved it.

Jamie Vernon

And then they're like, finally, we get 15.

Joe Rogan

Did Leno save it?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. He pretend to get hit by a car. And they were like, all right, what are we doing? A guy died. Leno got hit by a car. Let's pay these for real. Yeah.

Joe Rogan

I didn't hear.

Ari Shaffir

Pull it up.

Shane Gillis

Leno, we talked about last time, but another comical injury. He said he got hit by a car.

Ari Shaffir

He's beaten like Rihanna. Eye patch.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. He fell down a hill. Getting burned a little on fire.

Jamie Vernon

Something's up.

Joe Rogan

He doesn't. He looks unhealthy.

Ari Shaffir

It's like a woman in the Middle East.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

The thing about injuries like that, when you get that old.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Like, they take years off your life, bro.

Shane Gillis

If you fall down a hill.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. That's when you.

Jamie Vernon

Maybe he's dating Nancy Pelosi's attacker.

Ari Shaffir

And he doesn't even drink.

Jamie Vernon

He doesn't drink.

Ari Shaffir

So he's just getting beat up all day long.

Joe Rogan

He also doesn't do squats. His ankles. Of the resiliency of a Popsicle stick. You know, you take a wrong step and that shit's gonna snap off and you're gonna go for a tumble.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Go for a walk. Instead of.

Joe Rogan

When you get older, you gotta work out.

Ari Shaffir

You really do.

Joe Rogan

You might hate it. Yeah. You hate it. Who cares? Just do it so you don't die. Do it so you don't fall in the tub.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

You know, like, for real, like, you got to be able to stop yourself from. Oh, yeah. Like, the deceleration. You have to have the ability to.

Shane Gillis

Do that falling in a tub in a while, man. I feel like I. Because I haven't stayed in a shitty.

Jamie Vernon

Hotel with a tub.

Shane Gillis

When you have to stay in those shitty. They're, like, slick.

Ari Shaffir

They are.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, they're slick. They're angled.

Joe Rogan

UFC canceled a fight once because the dude was cutting weight in the bathtub, and he blacked out and banged his head.

Ari Shaffir

Whoa.

Joe Rogan

So I finally brought the agreement. Jay Leno getting hit by a car.

Jamie Vernon

By Biff.

Joe Rogan

Pretend.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Okay.

Ari Shaffir

He faked it.

Joe Rogan

The two jumped out of the way, but there was a loud thump and Leno crumpled to the pavement. Mannered, freaked out, running inside the club to confess his sin. Leno, for his part, moaning on the ground, dressing Dreeson kneeled next to him, afraid his pals badly hurt. Jake, can you hear me? Jay Leno opened his eyes and winked.

Shane Gillis

Oh, the picture.

Joe Rogan

That's pretty cool. So he did do that. Hey, guys, I gotta hit my car and leverage.

Jamie Vernon

That guy jumped off the Hyatt. But isn't that crazy to try to hit the store? Realized a half second out.

Joe Rogan

I heard that guy sucked.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, for sure.

Joe Rogan

But that's the problem.

Shane Gillis

Wait, what?

Joe Rogan

A guy committed suicide and he sucks? He cries like, come on.

Jamie Vernon

He goes, I'll. I'll perform. You can't have comics, like, perform. I'll perform for you. You'll be loyal after I'm done. And Mitzi was like, thanks for your service, but, like, we have good lineups now.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

So no. So he jumps off the Hyatt in the air, goes, oh, I'm never gonna hit the store. It didn't even make it to the bell.

Shane Gillis

He tried to kill himself on the store.

Jamie Vernon

Tried to hit the store.

Joe Rogan

And then that's personally 9 11. That's a dude who doesn't understand physics. Yeah, that's a guy who, like, thinks he could fight.

Jamie Vernon

What a terrible lesson.

Joe Rogan

Guy who doesn't know how far he can jump. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Or do comedy.

Shane Gillis

I can jump 40 years.

Joe Rogan

Or do comedy. Right. It's the same mindset. Right.

Ari Shaffir

We all know those guys who bomb, they get off, they're like, hey, good crowd. And you're like, you should be killing yourself.

Jamie Vernon

What are you talking right now?

Joe Rogan

Yeah, there's a lot of weirdos like that, man. Psychologically ill people.

Shane Gillis

So the guy didn't get booked, so he tried to jump off a building onto the.

Joe Rogan

But the thing is, the guy was terrible.

Jamie Vernon

Severe depression.

Shane Gillis

Well, yeah, even if he was good, that's no reason to kill yourself.

Joe Rogan

No, it's not. But he's like, this whole idea, like, oh, he killed himself for the strike. No, no, he was just nuts.

Jamie Vernon

He was just a crazy.

Joe Rogan

Just a nutty dude. Wasn't good. There's a.

Jamie Vernon

You're blaming it on that thing.

Joe Rogan

How many guys, when you started, were just like, on tilt? Just a little. But they would do real good. Sometimes you're like, maybe.

Ari Shaffir

Right.

Joe Rogan

Maybe he's gonna make it. And you're all kind of in the same boat, having sort of similar sets. But there's a few of those guys.

Ari Shaffir

Like, maybe that's almost worse because it keeps them in long enough.

Jamie Vernon

I did well last Month.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's real weird? When you get an email from one of them fellers, oh, they want to open for you.

Jamie Vernon

I get those.

Joe Rogan

You're like, hey, you ain't done comedy for a decade.

Jamie Vernon

They make it so uncomfortable, right?

Joe Rogan

A decade.

Jamie Vernon

You go like, all right, I'm already bringing, like, an opener. And like, what about an mc? I'm like, oh, and you gotta scramble it, find an mc. And they go, fine, I'll just do a guess that you're like.

Joe Rogan

I'll just do a guess and bring a camera crew.

Jamie Vernon

There's no way.

Joe Rogan

20 minutes and bring one guy.

Ari Shaffir

Bring friends into the green room and hang out all night.

Joe Rogan

Fun time. The invasion of your privacy just because you're being kind.

Ari Shaffir

Ah, that's the worst.

Joe Rogan

Says, okay, you're a grown up.

Jamie Vernon

It's just some of them are, like, such pressure. They press emotional. Like, we are still friendly, Right?

Joe Rogan

How do you prey on that? That's why you have to have, like a level of separation, like an Adam egot in your life. He gets a lot to see.

Jamie Vernon

Joe Rogan go. Adam won't let me have you on my show. I'm sorry.

Shane Gillis

Adam makes the rules.

Jamie Vernon

But it's Joe Rogan.

Joe Rogan

The only way it works is Adam, you know, he. That's what he wanted to get the job.

Ari Shaffir

He's miserable. He's, like, pulling his hair out. He's crying.

Shane Gillis

Oh, that's just because he's there.

Joe Rogan

I don't know. I throw the pot in the water Gaza. What kind of prayer do I have to make over the sink?

Jamie Vernon

Has been happy since he stopped eating donuts.

Joe Rogan

Adam's fine.

Jamie Vernon

Adam was the best fatim.

Joe Rogan

No, he was dying. He was, like, dying at one point in time. He's bleeding for some reason.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

What? Listen, he need to clean period.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, he was having a period.

Ari Shaffir

There you go.

Joe Rogan

He's becoming a woman.

Shane Gillis

I think he had a butt period a lot.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Butt period.

Ari Shaffir

Is that a hemorrhoid?

Shane Gillis

No, I think he was having, like, internal butt periods.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, really?

Joe Rogan

Yeah, it wasn't good. He's better now.

Shane Gillis

He's better.

Joe Rogan

You know, he's a worry wart. He's a worry guy. You know, he worries about, oh, I don't know.

Shane Gillis

And he's passing it on to his dog. You ever meet his dog shaking?

Joe Rogan

That's what happens.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, we take a drive to the woods just to go. And the drive, he's like, slobbering. I can't take this. As soon as he's like, oh, nice Woods.

Shane Gillis

It's the meanest thing I do, but I'm always like, dude, your dog sucks. It's the meanest thing you could say to somebody, like, no, I love them.

Joe Rogan

If a dog's never driven and then you drive it. Like, you have to drive them when they're little.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, he did. Couldn't take it like a woman.

Joe Rogan

How old was it when he got it? Puppy.

Shane Gillis

No, remember, he would bring it. He brought it. Falcon. And. And it would. It would come into the room and like, hide under the table. You bet. Oh, yeah, that's when I started. I was like, stop bringing this dog around.

Joe Rogan

Is it a rescue dog?

Ari Shaffir

What kind of dog, Pug?

Shane Gillis

It's like a Dalmatian.

Joe Rogan

Cute little dog.

Shane Gillis

It's named Dice. It's a good, good dog. It is a good dog. I feel bad making fun of a guy's dog.

Joe Rogan

His dog's named Dice.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, that's cute. And it's a Dalmatian, so it looks like a Dice.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, I didn't even catch it.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, you've tried that with me too. Your dogs, your dog sucks. I'm like, I do. Like, that's retarded. Yeah, there's no part of it that's.

Ari Shaffir

Like, you got a great dog.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, your dog's awesome. Very funny, though.

Joe Rogan

Dog's a sweetheart. Kills people.

Shane Gillis

Yes.

Jamie Vernon

And you can't say it about a kid, but you can say it about their dog. Yeah, you can get away with it.

Shane Gillis

Your kid sucks. They go, yeah, whatever.

Ari Shaffir

You can say it about a kid. Yeah, you could say it to a kid.

Joe Rogan

You can say it to some guys. Some guys have just had enough with their sons. Like, enough, enough. He's 26 years old. Get out of my house. You can tell that guy's kid sucks. Yeah, that's true.

Jamie Vernon

Like, your kid sucks. He goes, right?

Joe Rogan

Yeah. What? Have you noticed that's a weird thing about today? Like there's a lot of 26 year old dudes living with their parents.

Ari Shaffir

You got that right.

Jamie Vernon

When did you guys leave?

Shane Gillis

That's 25, 23.

Joe Rogan

I was 20, 18.

Jamie Vernon

18 out of the house. Not talking about college.

Ari Shaffir

Gone.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, 20, I was out of the house. I went and they wanted me out of the house when I was 18.

Shane Gillis

I went back after college for a year.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, I mean.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, no, that's hard.

Shane Gillis

No, it was a good year.

Ari Shaffir

Really?

Shane Gillis

Yeah, it was nice.

Jamie Vernon

Just drinking with Phil every day.

Shane Gillis

No, I was just reading and jacking off in the basement. It was great. The quiet room.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. My parents were like a priest. Some kind Of a real job.

Jamie Vernon

And you didn't. You figured out a way to disobey them back then.

Joe Rogan

I get on. I get it. I know. I was fighting. That's all I was doing. So I was fighting right out of high school. So, like, I just did. I didn't want to go. He's a bartender.

Jamie Vernon

It's crazy.

Joe Rogan

He's Tom Cruise.

Jamie Vernon

Well played.

Joe Rogan

So I understand why they wanted me out of the house. Like, you're living an unrealistic life.

Shane Gillis

That was really good, actually.

Joe Rogan

Low key. Great. Is that, like, the least impressive skill of all time? Like, someone does.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

A drink by spitting bottles in the air.

Jamie Vernon

And also whoever wants it, if you see them doing it, like, just make the drink.

Joe Rogan

I just want a drink. Yeah. I don't need a witty bartender.

Ari Shaffir

Right.

Joe Rogan

You know, if you. You're really that funny, you should go.

Shane Gillis

Do stand up rude bartenders. What do you want? Yeah, yeah, we don't have that. And then they walk away.

Joe Rogan

What the was that? Yeah, yeah. Especially, like, if you're a good tipper. You're like, come on, man, don't make me not tip you. I want to tip you. Well, I want. I want you to have a good experience here. I don't want this to be a.

Ari Shaffir

Buck for a beer, though. Can we. Can we get rid of that? Do you open a beer cap? A buck.

Jamie Vernon

A buck is a max. A buck is too much.

Ari Shaffir

I know, but, like, if he's whipping me up, you can't think.

Jamie Vernon

Look how happy is with himself. Shut up, bro.

Joe Rogan

You. You can't think that anything you're doing in a bar is, like, paying for things in a store.

Ari Shaffir

Yes.

Joe Rogan

You can't think of it that way. You're paying for this experience of being in public. And this dude, this is his job. It's not supposed to be reasonably priced.

Jamie Vernon

I'm okay with $1. When it starts to be like, a $12 beer, and it's like, no, you don't get two bucks for this.

Joe Rogan

I leave $100. Really?

Ari Shaffir

What?

Joe Rogan

Yeah, I get a beer, I leave $100.

Ari Shaffir

Come on.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, I'm not kidding. I don't care. Are you gonna notice it or is he gonna notice it? Are you gonna notice if you have $100? You're not gonna notice $100 from anyone in this room. It's like it doesn't exist.

Jamie Vernon

That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir

He's.

Joe Rogan

A hundred dollars you don't know exists. You might know a thousand dollars exists. You might know $10,000 exists, but if you look at your bank Account. It's a hundred this way or 100 that way. It makes zero difference.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, that's for one time. We're in bars every night.

Joe Rogan

That's good point.

Jamie Vernon

700. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

We'd spend eight grand by the end.

Jamie Vernon

Of buying the drinks.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, good. Perfect.

Shane Gillis

Did you guys get after it last night?

Ari Shaffir

A little bit.

Joe Rogan

I did.

Jamie Vernon

Me and Derosa and Meta.

Joe Rogan

You had your show at the Mothership?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, five o'clock show killer.

Joe Rogan

Friend of mine. Oh, oh, you know Lucas, the guy who made our suits? He went to your show last night.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, I love that.

Joe Rogan

David August.

Ari Shaffir

He's a beast.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, he's the best. He's the best man.

Ari Shaffir

Love that guy.

Jamie Vernon

Or that I killed Tony. Sued or sorry to deflect. Sorry.

Ari Shaffir

You step on everything like a bad drug dealer.

Shane Gillis

The suit was good. Mine. Mine was a little small and I said.

Joe Rogan

Hey, was the. Was Vegas better when the mob was running it?

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, right.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, everything was New York. Was.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

We got ladies on fire in the train.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. It seems like New York was a little better when the mob was running it than when the Democrats are. I'm just saying. Yeah, like the mob would have done something about the fire in the train.

Jamie Vernon

There was a street in. In the East Village. Where was it? The Hell's Angels. They had their headquarters.

Ari Shaffir

Yes, they did.

Jamie Vernon

Like 8th or 10th Street. Yeah, the. The safest block you couldn't do.

Ari Shaffir

No.

Joe Rogan

Well, that was always the thing about if you lived on Staten island or if you lived where all the cops live. Yeah. Or if you lived where, you know, when what's his face was alive. John Gotti was alive. Like, his neighborhood was super safe. Nobody's. Nobody's breaking into anything over there.

Ari Shaffir

No. And you get a turkey on Thanksgiving throwing those butterballs out.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, but at what cost?

Shane Gillis

I like the turkey thing. They all do the turkey thing and act like they're innocent.

Joe Rogan

Now that's a good move.

Shane Gillis

Look, I gave the whole neighborhood turkeys.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

They go, oh, all right, well, then, yeah, the murders. Yeah, we'll forget about them.

Joe Rogan

How many turkeys? Like, so, like, let's see, you live in a neighborhood of a hundred thousand people and you give out free turkeys. How many turkeys you think you're really giving out?

Ari Shaffir

Probably it's a photo op.

Joe Rogan

How many turkeys do you have to buy? I think, because if you run out, people are going to get mad, they're going to talk shit. I went to John Gotti's turkey thing and they were out of turkeys by 12 cents. 12:30. Where's my turkey. You dago bastard.

Ari Shaffir

All right, you got off the Jews at least. Now you're going with those guineas.

Joe Rogan

You son of a bitch.

Jamie Vernon

It's all peshy.

Shane Gillis

Think about it.

Joe Rogan

Where's my turkey?

Shane Gillis

The people relying on those. Yeah, crime's been up this year. But I'll tell you what, might get a free fucking turkey out of this whole thing.

Ari Shaffir

We're gonna eat good here at Thanksgiving.

Joe Rogan

The protection racket.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, that's how they get you.

Jamie Vernon

We'll help protect you.

Joe Rogan

We'll protect you. That's what the United States government's doing. So the entire citizens of the United States.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, homeowner tax.

Joe Rogan

It's protection we got. You two gotta be careful about China. China wants to steal your data. We gotta get rid of the Tick tock. The Tick Tock is stealing your data.

Shane Gillis

Does China want to fight us? Why? Why are we trying to fight China?

Joe Rogan

Because we're stealing China's data and they're throwing drones over New Jersey. It's a war.

Shane Gillis

Why are we at war with them? I don't know.

Joe Rogan

We're not.

Ari Shaffir

They're communists.

Shane Gillis

It's just something they are.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, I thought they were.

Shane Gillis

I think allegedly. But. Oh, they seem politically.

Jamie Vernon

They appoint their own government.

Shane Gillis

It's about that money right now.

Joe Rogan

It's about that money, too. It's a weird sort of a merger which makes it very difficult to battle with because you have a dictatorship that's connected to a thriving economy.

Jamie Vernon

Tell me this. Tick tock. They're like. They're stealing your data. But is it also all the American companies.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, I'm listening.

Joe Rogan

What are you, some kind of communist? Whose team are you on?

Shane Gillis

You know what team are. He's on.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah.

Jamie Vernon

I'm on Team Green.

Ari Shaffir

You know what they need is Gigi Ping to visit la. They clean it up in a day.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, isn't that funny?

Jamie Vernon

They could get. They would get it done.

Joe Rogan

They did it for when China. When they came to San Francisco.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Crazy.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, that's right.

Joe Rogan

Did you see Gavin Newsom's latest speech where he was talking about gonna get.

Shane Gillis

To the bottom of this?

Joe Rogan

No, about doing something with the land. Have you seen that, Jamie?

Ari Shaffir

Gavin.

Joe Rogan

Juice him, Jamie. Have you seen it?

Jamie Vernon

Did you see Danny Polish of his speech?

Ari Shaffir

No. Danny Paulson.

Shane Gillis

They're very funny.

Jamie Vernon

Just making him say dumb.

Shane Gillis

He tricks me a lot.

Jamie Vernon

He goes, we put fire our tartant on.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, that Newsom's a lot of water.

Joe Rogan

See if you can find this video. Because what's really weird is he does Like a little dance with his shoulders when he talks about it. Watch. This is so crazy.

Jamie Vernon

Great hair, though.

Joe Rogan

Listen to this.

Ari Shaffir

This.

Joe Rogan

Dealing with a myriad of issues.

Jamie Vernon

I was just talking to Josh Green.

Joe Rogan

The governor of down in.

Jamie Vernon

In Hawaii, who had some ideas around some land use concerns he has around speculators coming in.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, yeah, I do that when I pee.

Joe Rogan

So we're already working with our legal teams to. To move those things forward, and we'll.

Jamie Vernon

Be presenting those in a matter of.

Joe Rogan

Days, not just weeks. Legal teams, what does that mean? But look at this. Like, the thing in Hawaii has been. Been a disaster for the people that lost their houses. No one's rebuilt. No one's rebuilt. Right. So he's talking about that and talking to the governor, who's obviously mishandled that.

Jamie Vernon

It's also like, what's the real answer? It's like, it's.

Ari Shaffir

But hey, what is.

Joe Rogan

No, no, no. What is this?

Jamie Vernon

I don't know.

Joe Rogan

What is this?

Shane Gillis

It's a fun thing.

Joe Rogan

What is? Getting excited about it. Yeah. We're talking about speculation. Some land that's like a lady.

Jamie Vernon

He's dating somebody new. No, he's pulling somebody.

Joe Rogan

His excitement for the possibilities that they might acquire some of that land. What does that land become now? How many of these people are going to be able to rebuild? What happens with the Coastal Commission? What happens with all the insurance companies that decided to cancel their fire insurance? So what happens with all this is not as simple as anybody thinks any fire would be. Like, you get your insurance money and you rebuild. You don't rebuild somewhere that's bigger than Manhattan. They lost what's larger than Manhattan.

Jamie Vernon

And also insurance is not going to pay. They're as little as possible going to take forever.

Joe Rogan

How are they going to have the money? How are they going to have $150 billion? But that's the amount of money they require. So was the government going to do it? Is the Biden administration going to step up like they did for Ukraine? They spent $175 million in Ukraine. How much are they going to spend on the Palestine? And if they did it for the Palisades, the Hollywood Hills are going to be like, what the fuck, dude? What about us, right? What about us? What about all these other fires? What about North Carolina? Yeah, North Carolina people are waiting in line for hours for propane because they don't have gas. They're trying to stay alive because their heaters need gas.

Ari Shaffir

No propane, no gain. But yeah, you're right. Hey, Katrina, I went through. I was In Katrina, I was in New Orleans. It's the same. Yeah.

Jamie Vernon

Were they saving the rich people?

Joe Rogan

People, yeah. Yeah. But this is crazy.

Ari Shaffir

This is way worse.

Joe Rogan

If they bail out the Palisades. That's crazy. If you don't bail out Maui and it's a year later and you decide you're going to bail out the Palisades. So they kind of stuck because all they would have taken is $5 billion and they accidentally paid an extra 6 billion to Ukraine. They're like, don't worry. Just a mistake.

Jamie Vernon

It's an accidental 6 billion to help Maui.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Rebuild entirely. So for $5 billion, they didn't. Everyone could have got their home back and everything could have been settled and. No, nothing's been done. But yet we keep sending money to these other countries.

Ari Shaffir

Why don't these countries throw us a buck every now and then? All you've been doing is paying their bills 78 years.

Joe Rogan

Here's the thing. Even if you are supporting the idea of sending money to Ukraine, I'm not arguing against that. I'm saying they accidentally sent 6 billion there and no one cared and they didn't send 5 billion amounts.

Ari Shaffir

Right.

Jamie Vernon

And they could have also just get it back. Like, it's not actually. You're not shipping a big thing of money. Just like, I think you're wiring.

Joe Rogan

I think that's how to deal.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, really? So you can pay cash?

Joe Rogan

Just buck. Just. Just boats. Buckets of money.

Jamie Vernon

Blockbuster cards.

Ari Shaffir

We should buy Greenland. We should buy Greenland.

Jamie Vernon

That's right.

Joe Rogan

Isn't that what Trump's trying to do?

Ari Shaffir

There's a lot of resources over there.

Joe Rogan

What's he gonna. Well, if global warming hits, we got a sweet spot.

Shane Gillis

I like it.

Joe Rogan

If global warming really takes off, keeps an agreement going.

Ari Shaffir

You know how many people live there? 56k. We can kill them in an hour.

Joe Rogan

There's only 56, 000 people there.

Ari Shaffir

The whole island.

Joe Rogan

Really?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Wow.

Ari Shaffir

Give it a go.

Joe Rogan

What are they like?

Shane Gillis

I don't know.

Joe Rogan

Let's hang out one of those guys.

Shane Gillis

Their houses are weird.

Joe Rogan

Like, what do you think?

Shane Gillis

Are they, like, shacks? Colorful.

Joe Rogan

They probably smell like old hot dogs.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, yeah. The reindeer, they've been. Yeah.

Joe Rogan

What have they been eating? What kind of like fermented shark meat?

Jamie Vernon

Got to be in breeding there.

Shane Gillis

Real.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, easy.

Jamie Vernon

Got to be in breeding.

Joe Rogan

Oh, it's a cute little town, actually.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

That is adorable.

Joe Rogan

Where's the bar? Show me the bar. Because it's got to be a bar. Oh, they all got to be a good bar or a really bad bar.

Ari Shaffir

Some real fisherman drunks.

Joe Rogan

I mean, how many times does everybody date everybody else's ex in that town?

Jamie Vernon

Everybody. You just got to get over it.

Joe Rogan

Get over it. It's like high school. You just got to get over it. She's dating him now. Yeah. What do they do for electricity? I. What do they do?

Ari Shaffir

Is it Norway that they have a dating app that won't let you. Your sister, or is it Iceland?

Jamie Vernon

Yeah. To know if you're close to the United States.

Joe Rogan

You are.

Ari Shaffir

True.

Jamie Vernon

They tried. They tried giving out to the Middle east, and they were. The Middle east was like, no, we like it.

Ari Shaffir

The app's called It's All Relative.

Joe Rogan

That was a conversation that Gavin McGinnis and I had on the podcast. At one point in time, he was talking to me about the numbers of people that are inbred.

Shane Gillis

I think it was in the Middle East.

Joe Rogan

Was he in Palestine or Pakistan?

Jamie Vernon

Palestine's one of them. It's like 41 of them.

Ari Shaffir

Fudge Bank.

Shane Gillis

Definitely.

Joe Rogan

No.

Shane Gillis

What do you mean?

Ari Shaffir

You guys do some breeds?

Shane Gillis

What are you talking about?

Ari Shaffir

You breed in Brooklyn.

Joe Rogan

I'll tell you that. Do they in Brooklyn in breeding? Oh, yeah. Bad.

Ari Shaffir

That's like juicy horns. Instead of in Israel.

Jamie Vernon

Look up the numbers. You can look it up.

Shane Gillis

Let's take a look at Brooklyn.

Jamie Vernon

Syria's huge. Syria's huge. Palestine's huge. Afghanistan's huge.

Joe Rogan

Well, you're deflecting away from Israel.

Shane Gillis

Israel just magically is not one of them.

Jamie Vernon

Magically. They're all. They're all Europeans that live there.

Joe Rogan

Inbreeding rates in Israel vary by population group, with the highest rates in, say, that Arab Bedouin population close to the bed. But that's the Arab, right?

Jamie Vernon

Israeli Arab.

Joe Rogan

Israeli Arab. Okay, so Jewish population is only 2.3%.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah. The Palestinians, like, 40.

Joe Rogan

Look at that. Israeli Arab population is 25.9%.

Jamie Vernon

Not closer.

Joe Rogan

But that's a crazy number. But look at the Bedouin population. It's 45.4%.

Ari Shaffir

Damn.

Shane Gillis

Wait, what's. What's 25.9?

Joe Rogan

Look at that 44%, which is high and has resulted in a high prevalence of genetic disorders and infant mortality.

Jamie Vernon

And don't you love.

Joe Rogan

This is what I love about AI. It has to tell you sometimes. Yeah. Before they catch it. When you ask it questions like this on a giant podcast. Before they catch it. Like, it gets out there, goes.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And the AI just tells you both ways. Okay. Everybody's like, oh, my God, like, what? What did they say? We didn't say. We read something off the AI that's what we did. We're talking about real data.

Ari Shaffir

Oh yeah.

Joe Rogan

Well, but that's the thing. It's like people that live in liberal areas like Silver Lake and the fucking in the East Village, they don't realize that there's parts of the world that are really, really, really fucked up right now. Really fucked up. And you can't make this place like that place because you won't survive with your blue hair care. You won't survive with your nose post. That makes you interesting. That stupid bull ring you have in your nose.

Jamie Vernon

That's what these. All the people that kicked out of their neighborhoods.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. You're not going to survive. They. Them pronouns. They're throwing you off a roof. Throwing off a roof.

Ari Shaffir

It's so it's like the rich kid who's like you, mom, but you got it made downstairs. Meanwhile the migrant kids like I love you, dad, don't leave.

Joe Rogan

I think we need to take an opposite approach in this country.

Jamie Vernon

Country.

Joe Rogan

Instead of like letting all the up people in, what we need to do is like spread the good. Like buy all the other countries like slowly like Greenland. Start with Greenland. Then we buy Mexico. Guatemala is probably for sale.

Jamie Vernon

Find other doctors, bring them in.

Joe Rogan

You know, he wants to take over the Panama Canal. Fantastic. Let's buy Panama. That way you don't have to worry about taking over the Panama Canal. We'll get Elon involved.

Shane Gillis

I don't mind the canal. That was make a new coin. We built it.

Joe Rogan

We could sell a hawk to a coin.

Shane Gillis

They built it, but we.

Ari Shaffir

We paid.

Shane Gillis

We made them build it.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Did you see the other idea about the Gulf of Mexico? You know, you can't grill drill in the Gulf of Mexico. There's a law.

Ari Shaffir

Is that right?

Joe Rogan

But here's the thing. Change the name to the Gulf of America. Now you can drill. Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Is that why he wants to do it?

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

I thought I heard he wants to change it.

Joe Rogan

No, he wants to drill an 8th.

Shane Gillis

Grade level Gulf of America. 5th graders idea of like that should be Golf America.

Joe Rogan

You can drill. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

And Canada's a new state apparently.

Joe Rogan

It's genius. Trudeau resigned.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

I mean it's. What he's doing is kind of crazy. He's not even in office yet and he's like it.

Jamie Vernon

I'm getting out of. I don't want this fight.

Joe Rogan

But he's not even in office yet. And the kind the whole world is like shifting all the.

Jamie Vernon

All the social media companies go, you will do it all.

Joe Rogan

Look at what it look at Facebook.

Ari Shaffir

Look At Zuckerberg, he's like MMA fighter now.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, but they were just doing what the other. Other people wanted. Whoever's in charge are like, sure, sure, yeah, yeah. And now, okay, sure, we'll do it your own. As long as we can make money, we don't care.

Ari Shaffir

But you're like, are you gonna flip back if something flips back? Like, who are you?

Jamie Vernon

Keep stealing data, they're gonna flip back.

Joe Rogan

I think most people found out about it because of the Twitter files. And then the outrage was so high, they were worried about losing in the next election. And I think they've realized that probably lost them this election. So when things like that happen and you can. You can. Like, there was a point in time when, during the Obama administration, where they were talking about us going to war with Syria. Do you remember that?

Jamie Vernon

10 times.

Joe Rogan

Yes.

Jamie Vernon

We kept saying no. We said, we got to overthrow Assad. And they go, America said no. And then they go, actually, we got to help Assad because of these other people. And America's like, no, we've just done with these.

Joe Rogan

He made. There was a press conference, and the press conference was so rejected, it was so wildly rejected in the public that the Pentagon shifted course and they decided not to attack Syria. It was like, really big. Yeah, yeah.

Jamie Vernon

We had big wars going on. And they're like, the country was like, we're not doing this one.

Joe Rogan

And obviously, I have a cursory understanding of the entire conflict. I have a very, very small understanding of the conflict. But the reality is, like, if things get too rejected, if too many people, like, fuck this.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Well, I think that's probably what happened with all this Twitter shit. When they got those Twitter files and they found out that the FBI was suppressing real information. And then they found out that, you know, when Zuckerberg was on here and he was talking about the laptop, and they were telling him it's Russian disinformation, and they were telling them to. They told them to remove that meme. You know that meme of Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at a television screen in 10 years, like, did you take the COVID vaccine? If so, you may be eligible for a class action lawsuit. And it's like. It's like Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah.

Shane Gillis

Once upon a time, huh?

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's a classic.

Jamie Vernon

Take that one down.

Joe Rogan

They asked him to take out a.

Jamie Vernon

Clearly not really.

Joe Rogan

Do you know the meme? Do you have it, Jamie? Because I have it on my phone.

Shane Gillis

Great meme, by the way.

Ari Shaffir

How about Trump and Obiden having a full on Obama.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

What did I say?

Jamie Vernon

How wild.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, you're right. Obama, the black.

Joe Rogan

How wild was that to watch, though?

Shane Gillis

It is a little disappointing, though, because both those guys benefit so much on every American, on both those sides hating each other.

Ari Shaffir

I know.

Shane Gillis

And then you see them together and they're like, we got.

Joe Rogan

Well, you know what it's like, just.

Jamie Vernon

Like Clinton, Trump at the old parties. Like, they're all just friend. They eat at the same dining hall.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

They're all pieces of.

Joe Rogan

Well, you know what it's like. It's like when guys fight and then the fight's over and they talked so much about each other before the fight.

Ari Shaffir

Then they hugged and they hug it out. They're all emotional.

Joe Rogan

That's what it's like.

Shane Gillis

It's like they're not fighting.

Joe Rogan

They're talking about, yeah, we're professional.

Shane Gillis

This is like the other guy's like, this is Hitler and I need to have a revolution to fight him.

Jamie Vernon

And then, hi.

Shane Gillis

Then you get done. You go, hey, you see this?

Joe Rogan

It's so fake. He was saying that neo Nazis and.

Shane Gillis

White nationalists were very fine people.

Joe Rogan

Remember that?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

He's like, I had to say it. I get it. I get it. You had to say it. Yeah. They just sit down and they work it out.

Shane Gillis

But meanwhile, the rest of us, my, you know, your neighbor has a science is real flag.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

You know, black lives matter putting out there.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. It's causing division and you have a. Yeah. Joy division.

Joe Rogan

Well, it just makes you realize this is the reason why cults exist, because it's really easy to shift someone's opinion about things. It's really easy. Most people are really weak.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah. They're also all looking at the fringes of each side.

Joe Rogan

So, like, the.

Jamie Vernon

They're complaining about, like, 90 of the people on that side doesn't. They're like, yeah, we agree with you.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, 90. Yeah. It's nuts. It's just weird that it works so well.

Ari Shaffir

It really does work. And people make it their whole personality, their whole identity, and then if you push back, they hate you.

Jamie Vernon

He's Hitler. And I'll sit next to him at Carter's funeral and laugh.

Joe Rogan

And they joke around together. Meanwhile, Biden's asleep. You see him fall asleep. Asleep. Fell asleep. Fully fell asleep.

Shane Gillis

There was a picture of like three or four of them snoozing.

Joe Rogan

But my favorite part was when Kamala Harris shows up and she stink eyes both of them. Yeah, she stink eyes Trump and Obama and then sits down and doesn't Say hi or shake their hands nice. And then looks over and sees that Biden or that Obama and Trump are talking to each other. And she goes like this. She's like, yeah, I won't go over. And she's with her husband. Her husband's name.

Jamie Vernon

That's like when Shane was talking to Chappelle or Louis. And people be like, I gotta be nice to you now.

Ari Shaffir

Bill. Clint was there, too. He was checking out Kamala. He's like, hey, nice rump, that pantsuit. You are half black.

Joe Rogan

I'm gonna go out with a bang. Look how angry she is, dude. Look how angry she is. It's unbelievable. I mean, it's like he. Look at Obama and Trump. Just no one looks at him.

Jamie Vernon

You sit next to him.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, that's what she said. Guided him over. He has to sit where the. She tells him to.

Ari Shaffir

He's the white Chris Brown.

Joe Rogan

And look, they're looking at each other.

Ari Shaffir

Look at Trump. He's just holding it.

Joe Rogan

I want to be on what she's on right now. Look at Bush's wife. She's so happy right now. She's seeing elves and.

Jamie Vernon

But she knows she's jewels.

Ari Shaffir

She's got the handmade on Milana.

Joe Rogan

Melania is like, I can't believe I have to be first lady once again, man.

Ari Shaffir

Jimmy Carter. That Fentanyl, it'll get you.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. 100. He made it to 100, though.

Ari Shaffir

That's true.

Jamie Vernon

Kamala knows she's on camera, so she's got to act more pissy.

Joe Rogan

But look at them just too.

Ari Shaffir

Look at the honker on that guy in the back. Jesus.

Joe Rogan

She's got to be able to hear them. That's big. Yeah.

Shane Gillis

That's a lobbyist.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

What if Trump is just going by his beak?

Joe Rogan

Meanwhile, he's right near Pence still ball, I think.

Jamie Vernon

Like it.

Joe Rogan

I think he shook hands with Pence.

Ari Shaffir

Damn.

Joe Rogan

Which is why who did?

Jamie Vernon

Trump.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Pence, like, literally called him Hitler. Oh, almost.

Jamie Vernon

That was his vice president.

Joe Rogan

Like, what did Pence say? What? It was like, the worst thing Pence said about. But Pence definitely said he shouldn't be president.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And then he won again. And Pen said, that's a shot.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Now you got Shut up. You got to shut the up, and you got to shake his hand.

Jamie Vernon

You lost the old.

Shane Gillis

I saw Pence announce. I was watching the news live when Pence announced his presidency. It was great.

Ari Shaffir

Really.

Shane Gillis

It's like on Hannity. He was a guest on Sean Hannity.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Shane Gillis

They did it. Like, he was about to announce and they're like, we gotta take a commercial break. Then he comes on. He's like, I'm gonna run for president. There's like 12 people on bleachers. Like, bro, you got you lost.

Ari Shaffir

I can't because I'm still.

Joe Rogan

Did you ever see the conversation he had with Tucker? Tucker. When Tucker was talking about the problems that America has, and he said, that's not my concern. Did you ever see that?

Shane Gillis

It was. I've seen it. And I, I, I feel for pence on this one. That was. It seemed like a misstep.

Joe Rogan

Oh, it was.

Shane Gillis

He just said the wrong. He phrased it wrong. Yeah, but it's the worst thing you could possibly.

Joe Rogan

This is what he did. He reacted to an attack. So the attack was on him.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

So his reaction, because he's a guy who likes to be in power. That's not my concern. Like, his reaction is to shut you.

Shane Gillis

Down, the American people.

Joe Rogan

So he said, it's not my concern. That's not my concern. Like, he's, he's trying to shut him down, but he's doing it a stupid way.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

He's trying to exert his authority. I was the vice president. Let me tell you how it works. Yeah, that's not my concern. My concern is, after he said it.

Ari Shaffir

He probably was like, he's too religious, that guy. Yeah. He was obsessed with no abortion. And, you know, Know he got made.

Joe Rogan

Fun of my wife.

Shane Gillis

I do. I don't mind that. That's a nice.

Jamie Vernon

What? Cake converter.

Shane Gillis

He was like, I'm not going to dinner with a lady unless my wife's there. And everyone was like, what are you, sexist?

Jamie Vernon

It's like, no, that's a somewhat valid elevator with one.

Joe Rogan

Especially in his business.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

I mean, his business. They're. They're sneaking all the time.

Jamie Vernon

A doctor needs a female nurse in there with them.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

So, like, they're sneaking in people to try to. Like, they have Chinese ladies, ladies who are banging these dudes. They turn out to be fire.

Shane Gillis

How quick.

Jamie Vernon

Really?

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

They turn out to be.

Jamie Vernon

How would you not. You get a nine and a half on an elevator with you, and all of a sudden she's just on her knees and you're like, oh, we're doing.

Joe Rogan

It a nine and a half. Because they don't believe them. Yeah. He's sending a six with cocaine. Cute.

Jamie Vernon

Seven. Yeah.

Joe Rogan

A six. Who's got some cocaine? Damn. Some pouty lips. Let's party immediately. I think. Think they're all freaks, and I think it's it's just slow to be revealed because they're all like guilty of it. Like when you hear a guy like Clinton get busted or jfk, like, this is not a normal. I mean this is a. This is like. It's probably prevalent in the entire group of people. When you talk to people that are like Congressman. You talk to people that are honest. Like, look, there's a lot of freaks. There's a lot of people that are partying. Yeah, they're doing wild.

Ari Shaffir

I didn't doing wild.

Joe Rogan

They were doing showbiz type. But they were presidential candidates.

Jamie Vernon

Especially if you get that big. Like I never got the chance to do this.

Joe Rogan

Finally at Bohemia.

Shane Gillis

Dork my whole life.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. Gorbachev with a stain. Probably couldn't wait to get some clam.

Joe Rogan

There's a dude in a dress and he weighs a hundred pounds and you're just gonna get him to suck your dick. You don't know that.

Shane Gillis

Fire it up.

Joe Rogan

That mirror on the wall is a two way one. There's a camera on the other side.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, yeah. I mean that's the way I am with drugs.

Shane Gillis

Laughing, watching.

Joe Rogan

Oh yeah, that's true.

Jamie Vernon

We got him. Look at that shriveled up thing.

Ari Shaffir

The oral office.

Joe Rogan

And it's all at Diddy's mansion. It got burnt to the ground.

Ari Shaffir

That's true. The baby oil goes up.

Shane Gillis

The baby oil? Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Oh, yeah. It's an accelerant.

Shane Gillis

Started the fires in California.

Joe Rogan

Probably. It's probably not baby. It's probably lube. And I bet lube burns forever.

Ari Shaffir

Oh yeah.

Joe Rogan

I bet lube is like lava green grease fire just burns forever.

Ari Shaffir

Just.

Joe Rogan

It's probably some sort of synthetic shit.

Ari Shaffir

When are we gonna get the real dirt? All I got is a hallway beat up on video.

Joe Rogan

Right.

Ari Shaffir

But I need a. You know, Bieber's crying, JLo's nervous.

Joe Rogan

If I had to guess, if I had to guess this, what I would say there's a lot apparently of famous people involved in this. Which means there's a lot of accusers and there's a lot of money that people won't get if these people go down. Down.

Jamie Vernon

Right.

Joe Rogan

So if you're a lawyer. If you're a lawyer and you're, you know, involved in this whole thing, the move would be like, we could go public with this and this would be the end. That is not our interest.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Our interest in. Is a settlement. And then next thing you know, keep making money off someone or.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Who's really good at basketball or someone maybe make all. Maybe though. It's all Everyone left the parties early.

Jamie Vernon

Every time.

Shane Gillis

It'll be like Epstein, though. It'll. It'll be the same thing. It'll be like nobody ever gets in trouble.

Joe Rogan

Did you see that prosecutor, though? The guy who said there's some very famous names? And you will be stunned at what you'll see.

Shane Gillis

What, on Diddy or Epstein?

Joe Rogan

Diddy.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah. My people will not let those names come out.

Joe Rogan

But here's the thing. If the. If the videos exists, you don't think that somehow this guy's got it in? The prosecution never did. They never. But no one talked about the names. And there was a video and it was going to come out. It was like they kept quiet about all of it. They never released the names. They never said there was video. No one confirmed anything. It was all just rumors.

Jamie Vernon

They just wait till we stopped asking, and then they, like it, went away.

Joe Rogan

And Maxwell just went to jail. For what?

Ari Shaffir

Recruiting.

Joe Rogan

For what? But recruiting who? For what? For who?

Jamie Vernon

Who was there.

Joe Rogan

But what'd you do? What happened?

Ari Shaffir

Picked out 15 year olds from high school.

Joe Rogan

And where they go?

Ari Shaffir

I think they.

Shane Gillis

Who are the drafts?

Joe Rogan

No, no, no, no. Like, if you're gonna put someone in jail, you're gonna put someone in jail. If you're selling. So let's say you're selling cocaine. Yeah, like you sold cocaine. Who'd you sell it to? I sold it to this guy. Okay, well, now that guy's in trouble. That's how it usually goes.

Jamie Vernon

And you find that guy and who else?

Joe Rogan

If you sell underage prostitutes, you're going to jail for selling underage prostitutes. To who? Who'd you sell them to? Well, that guy gets in trouble, too. Too automatically.

Shane Gillis

That's why you kill Epstein.

Jamie Vernon

You blame it all on him.

Joe Rogan

How good must she be at keeping secrets?

Ari Shaffir

She's pretty good.

Jamie Vernon

We're all surprised. They didn't kill her, right?

Shane Gillis

Yeah, they, like, barely arrested her. Wasn't she, like, not in jail for Hampshire?

Joe Rogan

They found her in a cabin. Yeah, she was like an episode of a CBS drama. She was hiding in a cabin in the woods. Like, she's on prison. Prison break.

Ari Shaffir

Is she still there?

Joe Rogan

No, she's in jail. She's in jail.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, she is in jail.

Joe Rogan

But she's in a jail where you get to do yoga, you finger yourself, you watch tv. Yeah, it's like. It's a. Like a fruity jail. Like. Like an easy jail.

Ari Shaffir

I wish she'd start a podcast. How great would that be? Great. I would listen.

Jamie Vernon

Tales of the Island.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah. Maxwell or whatever, put that on Gas Digital.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

How have they not killed her?

Jamie Vernon

How have they not?

Ari Shaffir

She's in prison until July 7, 17th, 2037.

Joe Rogan

Oh, that's when they're gonna kill her.

Ari Shaffir

Low security federal prison in Tallahassee.

Joe Rogan

Low security Tallahassee.

Ari Shaffir

That's nice.

Jamie Vernon

It's not bad.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Drop a rocket ship down in the middle of the prison yard and escape with her. He's gonna be her out. Yards won't be able to do. She's put a force field around a rocket about as good as Demi Moore. Disgusting. What?

Ari Shaffir

Demi Moore? I don't know if she's. That.

Jamie Vernon

She kept it together, brother. Late. How old is she?

Ari Shaffir

On all kinds of Karina, chrome and cream.

Jamie Vernon

Whatever it is, she's harvesting the. Do you guys get questions about Hollywood parties, though? I have to tell people, like, oh, I wasn't even. I don't even know anyone who was not invited to those. Yeah, there's levels of Hollywood. It's not all of us in.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, it's. It's Matt Rife and those guys.

Jamie Vernon

He ain't invited.

Ari Shaffir

He's not even invited.

Jamie Vernon

No, it's high levels.

Joe Rogan

I got roped into going one to one night with Chappelle. Well, it was in. We were at the Comedy Store and Dave was like, come on, Joe, I gotta go to this party.

Jamie Vernon

How you gonna say no?

Joe Rogan

And I was like, all right, let's go. So we. We drove my Porsche up into the Hollywood. It was like I was seen in a movie. Like two comedians, like, having fun, leaving the Comedy Store, driving up to the movie. We're going to Naomi Campbell's house. Whoa. Or some guy's house who was having Naomi Campbell's party. And we're on an elevator, like, this little outdoor elevator with Demi Moore and some other lady. And it's an outdoor elevator. Like, you're sitting in, like, a car, like a cart. It's like taking you up the side of the hill. And as we're going up the side of the hill, we look at this. They had a party house. So they had a regular house and a party house.

Jamie Vernon

What?

Joe Rogan

And the party house was so high up the hill that there was like a 50 foot gigantic photo of a naked Naomi Campbell.

Ari Shaffir

Wow.

Joe Rogan

Like one of her modeling poses.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

And then you go up there and it's like fucking Lenny Kravitz and all these famous people. Like, just famous everywhere.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

It was weird. It was so in. At one point in time, Naomi Campbell, she had a book of all her modeling stuff. And there was so many photographers there. At one Point. She just starts posing. It's like snapping pictures. So you're at her party and all these cameras are going off, and she's posing.

Jamie Vernon

You're just watching it all bizarre.

Joe Rogan

And then me and Dave are hanging out, and Dave goes, man, I never want to be that famous, Dave. I go, I got news for you. You're the most famous person here. He goes, no. I go, yes. Yeah, you're the most famous guy here.

Ari Shaffir

And the most talented.

Joe Rogan

And we were just. We were both laughing. Lady Kravitz. Pretty talented, too.

Ari Shaffir

Ah, in one hit.

Joe Rogan

Oh, he's got some good. He's got some bangers.

Ari Shaffir

Dave can do a good. Do a monologue right there on the floor.

Joe Rogan

He's got Flyaway. He's got. He's got Fly Away.

Ari Shaffir

That's a nursery rhyme. Also, American Woman was a cover.

Joe Rogan

I know, but he's got bangers. He's good.

Ari Shaffir

I mean, he's good and he's hot. He's a fucking.

Joe Rogan

I agree. Chappelle is more terrible, talented. But you knew. No need to be disparaging about Mr. No, no.

Ari Shaffir

I'm just saying, it's just funny. These comedians show up and they can do a. They can do a couple hours. They got albums. They can do a riffing sesh, you know, crowd work. What does she got?

Jamie Vernon

She can pose.

Ari Shaffir

She can pose.

Jamie Vernon

She's gonna be pouty on command. It takes you a while.

Ari Shaffir

Exactly.

Joe Rogan

We didn't stay long. Then we left. When we went back to the store, and then we're like, wow, that was so weird. He was like, eyes Wide Shut. Party.

Jamie Vernon

I talked to you after that. Yeah, we talked. I think it was that one on the phone. And I was like, like, are they all, like, rotten? And you're like, yeah, they've gone sour.

Ari Shaffir

As a comic, you go to those part, you feel like a gargoyle. You're like, I'm so ugly compared to these.

Jamie Vernon

Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Beautiful people.

Joe Rogan

You can't talk to them regular. They don't around.

Ari Shaffir

No way.

Joe Rogan

The thing is, like, if you go and you talk to a bunch of celebrities, the odds are they're going to be more guarded than even regular liberals. Like, you got regular liberals and then you got celebrity liberals. So, like, they have to be careful of every thing they say day. If they have a couple drinks in them and you got your phone out and you start recording them saying something crazy, it could ruin their life. Like, what do you think about these immigrants? Isn't it up paying for our veterans? I. You know, some of them are okay. But most of them, yeah, yeah. Next thing you know, it's over.

Ari Shaffir

Oh, they're cooking for, too. That's like their chef.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, right, right.

Jamie Vernon

See a celebrity take to Twitter and you're just like, his agents failed him.

Ari Shaffir

Woo.

Joe Rogan

You up.

Ari Shaffir

Well, you get it.

Joe Rogan

The agent can't watch you 24 7.

Ari Shaffir

They want to keep going to these parties.

Joe Rogan

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

Like a Kimmel type, you know, he's got.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, those parties suck after a while.

Joe Rogan

They suck.

Shane Gillis

They suck. You're like two and you go, all right, I get it.

Jamie Vernon

No beer pong. No beer pong ever.

Joe Rogan

No comedians. If you found a comic, if it's Mark Marin at that party, you'd flock to him. Who's grilling? I know. I don't like you, dog. You know, it's like one of those.

Shane Gillis

Who'S a comedian that's doing better than you that you hate right now.

Joe Rogan

All of us talk about it.

Jamie Vernon

Let's talk about it.

Ari Shaffir

Please. Go public with it.

Joe Rogan

But, you know, like, if you're. If you're at the airport and you see a comic, like, sick. Yeah. Like, come on, let's talk. Even if you don't even like them that much, it's like you like them way better than these regular idiots.

Jamie Vernon

I was hanging out with Jake Johansson once as MCing and D.C. empress rough. He's clean guy. And we were talking. We're talking about hookers in Tijuana. And he goes, listen, that's not my world at all. I'd rather be here with you guys talking about that than with my wife's.

Shane Gillis

Dumb friends talking about, oh, you just ratted that boy out.

Joe Rogan

Sorry.

Shane Gillis

You just got. You got a fight.

Joe Rogan

Listen, you're not going to worry about his wife or his wife's dumb friend.

Shane Gillis

His wife. I've been sitting here waiting for one. I've been waiting.

Joe Rogan

You're going at the chamber. I got news for you. His wife and their dumb friends are never listening to this podcast. There's zero chance they're listening to Protect Our Parks.

Ari Shaffir

Well, clean comics are always the wildest. You used to clean comic at a party. Flock to that. Got some stories.

Jamie Vernon

Cosby party.

Joe Rogan

Yeah, Find Jeff John Hefron and get him some ad.

Ari Shaffir

You ever got drunk with Regan? It's wild. I'm not gonna say anything.

Joe Rogan

Animal.

Shane Gillis

He just gets drunk. He's not like.

Ari Shaffir

Well, he's a fun guy.

Shane Gillis

Fun.

Joe Rogan

He's having fun to talk to is what he's saying.

Shane Gillis

No, I know, but I'm saying that it started with Cosby, started fire.

Ari Shaffir

You're right.

Jamie Vernon

He one upped everybody.

Joe Rogan

Well put.

Ari Shaffir

Rean's not. He's way worse than Cosby, but he's.

Joe Rogan

A sweetheart of a guy.

Shane Gillis

He came to my show in Philly in October, and then he came to the bar with us after.

Jamie Vernon

That's so cool, man.

Joe Rogan

Super, super nice, man.

Jamie Vernon

Devito were having a sober month, and then he was going to come in Kansas City. He was like, hey, I got an early show. Can I come hang out? We want to drink. And we're both like, we're drinking, right? Yeah, we're.

Shane Gillis

Of course, it's a sick move to go to, like, the theater, the arena there, and then just find out who's at the local club.

Ari Shaffir

He did it to me.

Shane Gillis

I was like, I'm going to go drink there. It's awesome.

Jamie Vernon

That's awesome. Keeps the bar open.

Joe Rogan

And if you find a fun dude who's in town, it's great. It makes the experience of being in town so much better.

Jamie Vernon

And the club is like, yeah, come on in, sir.

Ari Shaffir

I was bombing at the Charlotte comedy zone. Bombing. There's 12 people there. I'm headlining. It was horrible. And I heard one cackle in the back, and I was like, well, at least I'm killing with that guy. You know, that whole thing. And I get off and it's, regan, let's get a drink. And we went out all night.

Shane Gillis

You feel so good.

Joe Rogan

Huge.

Shane Gillis

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

That's hilarious.

Ari Shaffir

It was like 10 years ago.

Joe Rogan

The late night midnight shows. Those were always death. Yeah, those were always death because people were so hammered by the time they got there and they're half full. But then the club's greedy and they just want to.

Shane Gillis

Third show off the back.

Ari Shaffir

The third show. You're repeating jokes.

Joe Rogan

You don't remember what the. You talked about.

Ari Shaffir

Did I say that?

Joe Rogan

You have to have, like, a very set order if you're going to do two or more shows too many.

Jamie Vernon

Heck yeah. I did it this last weekend. I was like, like the last show of the. Of the set, it was just like, no way have I said this. And you start laughing. You're like, are you laughing at me?

Ari Shaffir

Yes.

Jamie Vernon

Will you tell me?

Shane Gillis

It also. It also looks the exact same, too. Like, from your perspective. It's just a light in your face. You can't really see anyone.

Joe Rogan

Well, the problem is when you're doing long sets, too, it's like long sets are like a zone you get into. And when you're in the zone, you. You're kind of like, you know, you're kind of like riding It.

Ari Shaffir

Right.

Joe Rogan

You're kind of like riding the show.

Jamie Vernon

Which joke do I feel like right now? None of us have scripts. Right.

Joe Rogan

So it's like you're riding with it. You're around, you're riding with it. And so you forget what. Where you are on the ride because you're on the ride again.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Is this the first part of the ride? Have I done that bit yet? Oh, my God.

Jamie Vernon

My.

Joe Rogan

I'm so out of order.

Ari Shaffir

And it's later, too, in the night, so I've been drinking, too. So now you add that to the mix.

Shane Gillis

Now I'm shitfaced.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

Every time we went back to the.

Ari Shaffir

Mothership, I was hoping you forgot about that.

Joe Rogan

Oh, how could I ever. You threw up behind the stage and went to sleep.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

You went to sleep a foot away from your own puke.

Jamie Vernon

The levels you'll allow when you're drunk, it's like, it's fine.

Joe Rogan

This is a good spot. Hot.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, I. I went to the club the next day and I was like, sorry, I puked. They're like, yeah, we know. And some guy's holding a mop. I was like, ah. I set up an edible arrangement.

Shane Gillis

The edible arrangement was very thoughtful.

Ari Shaffir

Thank you.

Shane Gillis

It was really nice.

Ari Shaffir

Horrible.

Jamie Vernon

Yeah, sure.

Ari Shaffir

Somebody cleaned that up.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. Well, it's fun place to work.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, It's a great time.

Joe Rogan

Other than that.

Ari Shaffir

I found the nook. I found the puke nook. If you're going to puke anywhere, you want to go in that little weird closet, that little.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, right. Where everyone has to stand before they go on stage.

Joe Rogan

She used to smell whatever happens when it goes wrong.

Ari Shaffir

So.

Joe Rogan

Have you ever had a puke on stage? No, never.

Jamie Vernon

I had to piss on stage one so bad that I had to, like, get Jay to come back up at Bell House. I was like, bye. Five minutes.

Joe Rogan

I was sick on stage one time, and I was doing a show, and it was coming up and I had a swallow.

Shane Gillis

Oh, no.

Ari Shaffir

Whoa.

Joe Rogan

Yeah. I was like, oh, no.

Shane Gillis

Yeah, that's terrible.

Joe Rogan

I swallowed. I got lucky. I pulled out of it and I made it. But I was like, this could be so rough. I might vomit on stage. Rage. Because I was. I knew I really should be at home in bed, but I, like, was already out.

Ari Shaffir

What happened? Were you listening to your act?

Joe Rogan

I did this. I did a second. I did the second set and I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna puke. Like, damn. Wow, this is bad. I was doing. Oh, you know that feeling?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

You know that feeling? Like, if you're reading in a car. Like, if you're in the backseat of the car and you're reading, you're like, oh, no. Oh, no.

Shane Gillis

The watery mouth.

Jamie Vernon

The watery mouth, yeah.

Joe Rogan

Like, where it's coming up. You're like. Because your body's like. Your body's freaking out. It's like, why is this moving when we're still.

Ari Shaffir

Yes.

Joe Rogan

This is crazy. If you don't see the outside and see the line of the road and engage it. That's why people get seasick. Like, why are we moving? And we're still. You must be drunk. You must be. You must have food poisoning. Get rid of whatever the in you. Let's get it out now.

Ari Shaffir

We've all had the shitting on stage where you, like, have a turtle head going. You really just tightening that rump.

Shane Gillis

I feel like it goes away, though. As soon as you get on stage.

Ari Shaffir

You get a little fight or flight, but every now and then you're just like, oh, I had a crazy meal. I had oysters in the green room. And you're like, oysters?

Joe Rogan

When you order oysters.

Ari Shaffir

Food, it. Pull up a photo of me doing my Comedy Central stop bragging half hour a while ago, but I have a crazy virus, and I was myself on State, like, gurgling while you were doing this special, my big taping. It was, like, the biggest thing I'd ever done. Half hour special, whatever. Oh, man, I'm sweaty. I had a h py. Lori, you get that from eating ass. Yeah. You consume feces, first of all.

Joe Rogan

Congratulations.

Ari Shaffir

Thank you. It was a fat.

Joe Rogan

What was his name? He said fat. I was like, I got it to get it in quick. It's all about timing.

Ari Shaffir

It was John Panette.

Joe Rogan

Oh, wow.

Shane Gillis

Holy.

Ari Shaffir

I'm wearing a ton of makeup, but I'm, like, bloated.

Shane Gillis

You look like a chubby.

Joe Rogan

I was.

Ari Shaffir

I was the same weight I am now, but just that. That I'm so fat and sick, and.

Joe Rogan

I'm trying to push through.

Ari Shaffir

Yeah.

Joe Rogan

So were you sick days before as well?

Ari Shaffir

Yeah, but they're like, we're not changing it. This is when you got to do it. Look at the neck. Everything. I mean, I look like Ralphie Bay.

Joe Rogan

You actually look cute. You look like cherubic. Yeah, that's the word. Like, I want to pinch your cheeks.

Ari Shaffir

I don't even know what year ago that is.

Joe Rogan

Hey, have either one of you guys seen a drone? You guys are easy. The ones that everybody's complaining about. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir

They're all over jerk jersey.

Joe Rogan

Like, what did you see?

Ari Shaffir

They're like the size. They're huge. They're like as big as a car and they're black with a ton of lights on them.

Joe Rogan

Really?

Ari Shaffir

They just whiz by.

Joe Rogan

Big as a car.