#2257 - Bryan Callen

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Joe Rogan Experience #2257 - Bryan Callen

Release Date: January 15, 2025

In episode #2257 of The Joe Rogan Experience, host Joe Rogan engages in an extensive and dynamic conversation with comedian Bryan Callen. The episode traverses a multitude of topics, providing listeners with insightful discussions, personal anecdotes, and sharp critiques on societal issues. Below is a detailed summary structured into clear sections, featuring notable quotes with timestamps to capture the essence of their dialogue.

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1. Opening Banter and Family Life

The episode kicks off with light-hearted exchanges about marital life and family dynamics. Bryan shares a humorous story about his wife’s candid feedback on his post-smoking breath, setting a relaxed and relatable tone.

• Quote:
  [00:20] B: "I woke up the next morning, my wife said, your breath is four dimensional."

2. Los Angeles Infrastructure and Fire Department Criticism

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the mismanagement of Los Angeles’ infrastructure, particularly the fire department. Joe and Bryan criticize the city's prioritization of climate change, social justice, and homelessness over essential infrastructure maintenance, arguing that this misallocation has heightened fire risks.

• Quote:
  [02:20] B: "Sir. Infrastructure's gotta take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement, which hasn't worked."

• Quote:
  [04:30] B: "What's that made out of? We got to protect the delta smelt."

3. Homelessness Crisis in LA

Joe and Bryan delve into the homelessness issue in Los Angeles, highlighting the inefficacy of current initiatives and the substantial funds allocated yet not effectively utilized. They discuss the societal impacts and advocate for practical solutions beyond mere financial allocations.

• Quote:
  [15:04] B: "It's about a bunch of people profiting off of nonprofits."

4. Social and Political Commentary

The duo explores the polarized political landscape, expressing concerns over identity politics and the lack of pragmatic leadership. They critique both progressive and conservative approaches, emphasizing the need for evidence-based policies and practical governance.

• Quote:
  [17:35] A: "It's all an echo chamber."

• Quote:
  [18:52] B: "They blame the Black plague on them. They're like, you guys cover your wells."

5. Personal Experiences with Fires and Disasters

Joe shares harrowing personal stories about experiencing wildfires, emphasizing the chaotic and deadly nature of such disasters. Bryan reciprocates with anecdotes about friends losing homes and the ensuing chaos, highlighting the importance of effective disaster management.

• Quote:
  [12:30] A: "I saw fire tornadoes... the fire was fucking insane."

6. Meditation, Martial Arts, and Personal Development

The conversation shifts towards personal growth practices like meditation and martial arts. They discuss how these disciplines aid in mental resilience and self-awareness, referencing experiences and philosophies that have shaped their approaches to life.

• Quote:
  [27:09] A: "You gotta have a little bit of fun in you."

7. Insights into Podcasting and Media Management

Joe provides insights into running a successful podcast, discussing the importance of selecting the right guests and maintaining authenticity. They touch on challenges like team management and the pitfalls of audience-driven content creation.

• Quote:
  [56:00] B: "You ever get tired of talking to... I don't think so."

8. Regenerative Agriculture

Bryan introduces the topic of regenerative agriculture, mentioning innovators like Will Harris and Joel Salatin. They explore the benefits of sustainable farming practices that mimic natural ecosystems, advocating for such approaches to solve environmental and social issues.

• Quote:
  [59:26] B: "They were talking about him having something to do with farming in the Trump administration."

9. Driving and Car Culture

A long-standing interest for both hosts, they delve into car culture, comparing classic combustion engines with modern electric vehicles. They express nostalgic appreciation for vintage cars’ mechanical engagement and critique the emerging electric car trend for lacking the raw experience of traditional driving.

• Quote:
  [110:00] A: "No, no, no. That's an expensive car. And by the way, not very fast."

10. Government Efficiency and Infrastructure Management

Joe and Bryan discuss the complexities of governmental roles and the often-overlooked aspects of various departments. They emphasize the need for competent management in critical areas like defense, agriculture, and infrastructure to ensure societal stability and safety.

• Quote:
  [125:15] A: "You should have Will Harris on your show."

11. Media and Information Reliability

The hosts critique mainstream media’s reliability, advocating for independent journalism and critical consumption of information. They stress the importance of verifying facts and understanding biases in media narratives.

• Quote:
  [166:06] B: "Well, the biggest... people have one side of their story."

12. Historical and Philosophical Reflections

Toward the end, Joe and Bryan reflect on historical events and philosophical ideas, drawing parallels between past societal collapses and current issues. They emphasize the importance of truth, personal accountability, and the dangers of ideological extremes.

• Quote:
  [152:54] A: "I think what was interesting is we would..."

• Quote:
  [154:16] A: "Don't misgender. That thief."

13. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

In their concluding segment, Joe and Bryan discuss future aspirations, including potential podcast guests and personal projects. They reiterate the importance of resilience and adaptability in facing societal challenges.

• Quote:
  [167:23] B: "Very cool stuff, it's gonna be fun."

---

This episode offers a rich and multifaceted discussion, blending humor with serious critiques of societal structures and governance. Joe and Bryan’s candid conversation provides listeners with diverse perspectives on pressing urban issues, personal growth strategies, media reliability, and the evolving landscape of governance and infrastructure.

Notable Quotes:

1. [02:20] B: "Infrastructure's gotta take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement, which hasn't worked."
2. [15:04] B: "It's about a bunch of people profiting off of nonprofits."
3. [12:30] A: "I saw fire tornadoes... the fire was fucking insane."
4. [125:15] A: "You should have Will Harris on your show."
5. [166:06] B: "Well, the biggest... people have one side of their story."

---

Conclusion

Episode #2257 of The Joe Rogan Experience with Bryan Callen is a comprehensive exploration of contemporary issues, personal experiences, and philosophical reflections. The hosts’ ability to navigate through varied topics with depth and humor makes this episode both engaging and informative for listeners seeking a nuanced understanding of the complex world around them.

Transcript

[A]

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train my day. Joe Rogan Podcast. By night, all day.

[B]

My wife. I smoked one of these and I didn't brush my teeth. I woke up the next morning, my wife said, your breath is four dimensional.

[A]

He didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed. And he smoked a cigar.

[B]

Of course I didn't brush my teeth before I went to bed. Give a fuck. You know what I mean? You're married. You're married. She was like, I love you so much. Your breath is four dimensional. You know, these fires. I, I have two small children now because what I want to do is. What you want to do is you want to get divorced, and then you want to have, get married again to a woman who's 23 years younger and then have two more kids, because that's good. And, and then I definitely takes a.

[A]

Lot of financial stress off of that.

[B]

Oh, dude, there's no financial stress at all. It's great.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

If I hustle till I'm 80, I'll be fine. Anyway, it's gonna be really awkward when I call you at 75. I, I just need help this month. But anyway, so I, I, I look at her and I go, she's like a girl from Jersey. Like Irish, Italian chick, no nonsense, you know, been working since she was 16. And I go, you know, they, we had an evacuation order that they sent out by accident to people even down where I'm at. Yeah.

[A]

What was that?

[B]

It was some guy who up. Because I don't know if you know, this is gonna be, this is gonna be shocking. Grab the table.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

LA's not run very well.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

I know. Hold on. Fuck you say. See, here's the thing we have to worry about. I know.

[A]

Isn't the chief of fire department a lesbian?

[B]

Now, hold on. Let's not turn this into. Listen, here's the bottom line.

[A]

Let's run amazing.

[B]

It's not about infrastructure. Infrastructure's gotta take.

[A]

Won't sit here while you disparage the great people, sir. That are running Los Angeles.

[B]

Sir. Infrastructure's gotta take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement, which hasn't worked.

[A]

See, the lady who's responsible for filling fire hydrants gets paid $750,000 a year.

[B]

Hey, your tax dollars going to. Good work there, everybody.

[A]

That's a lot of money.

[B]

You think that's sitcom? You think.

[A]

I said, it's like I'm the star of a sitcom. Oh, dude, not Star, but like you're the third person. No, that's.

[B]

That's a high wage, sir. 750 grand for a city employer who's.

[A]

Someone just like fill that one.

[B]

How the aquifers, how the aquifers today.

[A]

Get the water in that one.

[B]

You know what? We got to protect the delta smelt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whatever the fuck that is. So we gotta.

[A]

Trump was talking about that on the podcast. On the podcast I did with him. Trump was going on this long rampage about Los Angeles and the fires and how it all can be prevented and they could have plenty of water. He explained the whole thing and he's right.

[B]

Here's my whole philosophy. You guys know, you know that we have a tinderbox and you can say that there are a lot of people that live there. The fires are. It's always a potential. If that's the case, then please make sure the fire hydrants. We've got to be able to figure that you guys in la, California came up with AI. I mean, the Silicon Valley was pretty innovative people. Let's figure out a way to keep.

[A]

The very different people.

[B]

They are very different.

[A]

Saying people in America.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are homeless. And also Elon Musk.

[B]

Right. You know, get some people down in government who are innovative like that. What the fuck are we doing? Do that job. Do you know the city council of Los Angeles? Angeles. Four of the members of the city council are far left social Democrats. How about that? There's zero. There's zero pushback on ideas. It's just all.

[A]

Yeah, it's all an echo chamber. Well, I'm hoping now that this is a giant wake up call for these people. I mean, there's no positivity that's going to come out of a horrific fire like that, but at least it'll wake because look, that area, you know, Adam Carolla was on someone's show talking about this and he said something that's like very. I think he was actually doing it himself.

[B]

Yeah, about permits.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Well, he was just saying that there's 80% of the people that live there are far left. 80% of the people that got their houses burned down from complete, total incompetence and a lack of management. That's total incompetence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

80% of those people are far left people. And that's a giant wake up call when you realize like, no, this, these people, this is not the way to do it. Did you see that lady, the, the fire lady who's a part of this whole diversity thing? And they said, you're A woman firefighter. Can you. If. Can you carry my husband out of a burning building? She was like, well, if your husband's in a burning building, he already made a mistake. She's a big old sassy, fat black.

[B]

Yeah. My favorite was that one of the women said, you want people to rep to look like you.

[A]

Same lady.

[B]

And I'm like, hey, hey, lady. When. When my house is on fire and I'm trying to get my kids out, I'm not going to be like, hey, I got. I. Can I get some people that look like me? Because this.

[A]

This doesn't make me feel like Brian Shaw.

[B]

I want them to become so driven. Sm. No. If they look like a white walker and they can get me out of that fire, I'm in.

[A]

I want Brian be a giant dude.

[B]

Who can carry people with a mustache that goes like this.

[A]

Handlebar. I love firemen.

[B]

I'm such a. I'm so gay that when I saw. They came by, I saw some firemen and I didn't know what to do. I was. I wanted to say something like, go get them guys, or something like that. And I. And I literally went like this. I went. I saluted them. I went, that's good. It's a little embarrassing.

[A]

It's an acknowledgment. Yeah.

[B]

But my wife. My wife is so funny, because my wife is very handy. And I said. And we had an evacuation order. I looked at her and I go, I gotta go do Joe's podcast and then shoot my special at the mothership. But I feel guilty about leaving you here. And she goes, what are you gonna do? You can't change a tire. I got this. I was like, all right, see you later.

[A]

So, yeah, I don't know. I would have felt weird about leaving them, too.

[B]

I'm in an area where I'm good.

[A]

Yeah, you're good for now. This is the thing about LA that, you know, there's a viral clip that's going around now of a conversation that I had with Sam Morrell a while back, and we were talking about when I was on Fear Factor, how this fireman told me that this was gonna happen one day. He said, it's just a matter of time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With the right wind, he's like, we won't be able to stop it now. That's gone viral. And then the Trump thing went viral, too, because Trump was saying that they need to do something to change this. They need to clean up the forest, get rid of all the dead wood, all these things could be done. Get Rid of all the brush, get rid of all the dead wood. Open up that fucking water from the north to come down this idea that. Do you know that the whole center of California used to be a lake? A giant lake?

[B]

No, bro.

[A]

I found out about it about a year ago.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It's crazy. Young Jamie. Wait till you see how big this fucking lake was. And all of it, all of the is all meddling and fucking around by humans.

[B]

Did I ever tell you the conversation I had with Arnold Schwarzenegger? I was with John Lego.

[A]

Did he say, screw your freedom?

[B]

No, he didn't say screw your freedom. This is before that. I was doing that movie Screw your freedom. Screw your freedom. I he, he said this is a.

[A]

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[B]

We were doing that movie Ride along and John goes, hey, stick around, I'm gonna. We'll have some dinner with a friend of mine's coming by. I didn't know who it was. Arnold shows up with his assistant. It's kind of cool and I'm a fan. So we're sitting there and I just read a book on California politics by Michael Lewis called Boomerang about sort of like how a lot of the towns like Stockton went broke because of the pension plans and all that shit. Blah, blah, blah.

[A]

I thought it was Diaz brothers running around slapping people.

[B]

It is that too, dude. It is that too.

[A]

Is by that lake. Yeah, I was waiting for it. Check this out. Look at the size of this lake. Tulare Lake.

[B]

What?

[A]

Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi. Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi.

[B]

What?

[A]

It used to be fucking huge. Show a photo of what it used to look like. So it was all agriculture. They fucked it up.

[B]

Oh, because they drained it, right?

[A]

Look at the size of it.

[B]

What the.

[A]

Look how big it was. The world. Look how big that is now.

[B]

It's just gone.

[A]

Gone. Apparently it's refilling.

[B]

Well, I guess we needed it for. To grow all shot up. I mean, you know, it became needed for almonds.

[A]

For the Owens almond milk. This. There's one amazing photograph of this guy who was squirting almond milk on the fire outside of his house because that's all he had.

[B]

Is that true?

[A]

He had two quarts of almond milk. There's like this soy, man. This. This literal human water balloon.

[B]

Oh, look at that. God bless him. Dude, that's when you're really trying. That's when you're trying.

[A]

Mask on.

[B]

That's. That's just a last stand, bro. That's a last stand. That's.

[A]

No, you should have been out. You got to get out of there. You got to accept. I've been evacuated three times.

[B]

Have you really?

[A]

Yeah, when I lived in, I got evacuated three times. You know, it burnt two houses in front in 2018. Two houses in front of my old house or burnt to the ground.

[B]

Well, that. That video I showed you of my friend's house that just disappeared. And then you remember I sent you that video of him driving down the pch. Those guys are coming to my house because our. Where I'm at is the only place that's where the air is breathable and all that. Well, we have a barrier between the 405 and also the airport. So it's really. We're pretty safe.

[A]

Pretty safe. The thing about. I mean, this is from someone who's been through it a few times. You don't understand. You think it's just a fire? It's not. It's storm. Yeah, so I saw fire tornadoes. Until you've seen a. Yeah, I saw fire tornadoes. When we were filming. We're filming on Fear Factor and ironically, this was the same time where this fireman was explaining to me what's going to happen in la. We're filming Fear Factor and when we were driving back the entire. Right I watched a guy die. Watch. Run across the highway and get hit by a car.

[B]

What the.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't see him get hit by a car, but I saw him. Jesus Christ. He was. And my producer, the producer of the show apparently saw more. He saw like graphic. You know, people were panicking. There was ash fall from the sky. Like it was snowing. It was crazy. And everyone's driving and no one. Everyone's got this like somber, like 50 mile an hour driving the entire right side of the highway for an hour, like what we were.

[B]

And you can feel that heat, right?

[A]

Yeah, we were filming off the five, so we were like way up by, you know, like as you're heading. Baker Field. Oh, yeah, Bakersfield. Like that off the 5 or the 10, whatever the fuck it is. When we were. We were pretty far away and it was a whole hour driving back where the whole right side of the highway was in flames. I mean, completely engulfed. Like a Lord of the Rings movie where you're waiting for Sauron to come riding on an evil horse over the top of it. It was nuts. It was fucking nuts. And you see fire, tornadoes, man. The fire was fucking insane.

[B]

There's nothing you can do.

[A]

And it's flying through the air. So you're worried your car is going to catch fire. One of the things that happens is people get stuck on highways. Cars catch fire and the fire and the winds just roll through the whole highway and everybody burns alive inside their cars.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, that happened at. What is it? The camp Park. Camp. What was the big.

[B]

Oh, that's right, that Northern California city.

[A]

And a lot of people died in their horrifying, horrifying.

[B]

You know, I got to tell you, the crazy thing about the Pacific Palisades was that eight years ago, probably eight, maybe almost nine years ago, I looked at houses there with my. My ex wife and we came so close to my house because it was. It's such a beautiful place. We didn't buy because it was a little too expensive, to be honest with you. It was like. It was like, you know, just a little out of our price, you know, point. But even like for a smaller house, that was expensive, right? But it's beautiful. The last thing.

[A]

It's gorgeous.

[B]

The last thing you would ever think the last thing is that that house would burn down or there was a fire hazard, especially down, like where Gelson's was or the whole town that. Dude, when I'm saying the town is gone, you know, the only structure that's standing is that guy Caruso, that mayor the guy who ran for mayor narrowly lost to Karen Bass. He built that mall out of fire retardant material. And that's the only structures that pretty much downtown that are in the town of Pacific Palisades. Frank Grillo, our buddy, his old house burned right to the ground. Just done.

[A]

Yeah. Segura's house burned to the ground.

[B]

Everybody's didn't. Mel Gibson's.

[A]

Yeah, Mel Gibson's birthday. Look at that.

[B]

Dude, look at that. Nobody in a million years. I'm telling you, when you bought a house there, nobody said anything about fires. No one.

[A]

That's so. And by the way, fire insurance in la. What? Look at that one house. Perfect. Isn't that crazy?

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

What's that made out of?

[B]

I don't know. It just. The wind blew a different direction or something.

[A]

I don't know, man. I think it's got to be what the house is made of because that wind's blowing everywhere.

[B]

No, I don't think any house withstands that kind of fire. I think.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do you know? Are you a builder?

[B]

I am.

[A]

You're not a builder.

[B]

That's Brian Callan's. Nah, I don't believe anything. Can.

[A]

Can you make a house out of all concrete?

[B]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

How's that one house? Look at that one house. That's a question Lotto son.

[B]

No, that's wind. Look at that, though.

[A]

But here's the thing. You don't want to live there now. If you're that house on the corner and everything you look at as devastation. The schools are gone, Right? Right. The schools are gone.

[B]

But here's my other thing. Here's the question I have, okay? So you see that right now, who is going to rebuild there and who's going to. Who's going to finance it?

[A]

Are you going to get what kind of insurance?

[B]

You're not going to be able to get. So. So are you going to get insurance or is a bank going to finance that? Would you want to rebuild there? When you have to wait for a gas station, for a grocery store, there's nothing there.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So to me, I don't understand what. I don't know what happens to that very valuable property.

[A]

I don't know what happens to the entire city now because people are looting like fucking crazy. Gigantic groups of 100 men, organized, are pulling into neighborhoods that are being evacuated, smashing through doors and pulling out TVs. There's film footage of them. There's also a bunch of people that have been caught Setting fires.

[B]

Yeah, I'd be sh, I would, I would, I think they should be put to death.

[A]

One guy got caught setting fires and he had a UN debit card.

[B]

What?

[A]

And he had a bunch. I'll send it to Jamie, the guy that got arrested for. I'll tell you which, which fire it was. But he got arrested. He had a UN card. I'll tell you exactly.

[B]

This kind of, this kind of tragedy brings out the best in people and the worst in people. The one thing it does in these communities, it brings all these people together. You know, my buddy started to cry because I was on the phone with him. He lost everything, right. And he, they're going to come stay with us. And he said, when I was on the phone, somebody, these people dropped by and dropped off clothes for them and he's got a lot of money. And he started to cry, man. He was like, I can't tell you how many people have reached out.

[A]

He had five cell phones and a United nations prepaid debit card.

[B]

I, I, I'm skeptical. Is this.

[A]

Of course you are.

[B]

Conspiracy?

[A]

You're always skeptical.

[B]

Is this conspiracy?

[A]

I just don't want to be played now. I think the New York Post did a thing about it.

[B]

You know what I mean, though? I don't want to be played. I don't know what's true.

[A]

Maybe the New York Post didn't post that he had the debit card.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what's getting us from.

[A]

The Texas Patriot Twitter account.

[B]

You see, I told you. I'm, I'm already like, I don't know.

[A]

They said that the New York Post has edited the info out of their article.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Why? Because it's not spreading rumors. Joe Rogan Patriot account said that. Oh, so then look at the plate. Maybe not. Maybe the New York Post. A bunch of pussies and a bunch of libtards. The Post.

[B]

The New York Post is very conservative.

[A]

They are kind of. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I got to tell you, this is, I do think this is how this, There's a sea change here. You got to have people with opposing points of view that are Pro business, etc. You have just all progressives.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In Sacramento and in these. If you've got on the city council. But you know what? Until Angelina's wake up and start voting for intelligent people who are not. Forget right or left. How about practical people who understand infrastructure.

[A]

Who put Infrastructure. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because the rose. I live there, man. The roads, the fucking power line. It's all, it's all from 1950s. Okay.

[A]

So it's all around, by the way, which is a real problem when the winds start blowing like that.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Which is what happened in Maui as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you don't believe in direct energy weapons.

[B]

Yes. I forgot about those in space.

[A]

Who's controlling article? Yeah, the Rothschilds. It's just a cabal of Jews.

[B]

Yes. The visible circle of Jews. That's what every conspiracy theory always goes Right back to that. I'm just saying.

[A]

Yeah. All right. But you know, the Mossad and the IDF and like, the influence on politics is pretty well established. Like there's both things. It's like, no, it's not. The Jews aren't the problem in the whole world. No. And when everything goes sideways, people always do start blaming the Jews. Always. Did we ever figure out who said that to us? Was it Jordan? Was it Jordan who started talking. Where's a Gad Sad? Who started talking about. It's one of the marks of a collapsing society when they start blaming everything on the Jews.

[B]

They blame the Black plague on them. They're like, you guys cover your wells. My. My thing about that is whenever people go bad on the Jews, I'm always like, yeah, do you like Hollywood? They invented that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And improv and monotheism.

[A]

Maybe that's not good.

[B]

But then also stainless steel. And virtual reality. Yes, and virtual reality.

[A]

Listen, they have more Eastern European Jews, have more Nobel Prizes than I think any other ethnic group.

[B]

They're incredible. Nobody wants to.

[A]

Incredible group of humans.

[B]

Let's just talk about art and everything else. Einstein, Freud.

[A]

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[B]

On and on. So you're going to have many comics?

[A]

How many comics?

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Some of the funniest people of all.

[A]

Time, one of the greatest of all time, Lenny Bruce.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

That groundbreaker, the literal starter of this whole thing.

[B]

Groundbreaker, yeah. So I always say that you're going.

[A]

To have very innovative, probably funding Epstein, but also probably running a gigantic blackmail ring where they have control over all the politicians in the country.

[B]

I might be doing that too if I, if I, if my survival depended on it.

[A]

Especially if you're smart and you're like really good at chess. You're like, I know what to do. These guys like to fuck. Let's set them up. Let's set them up.

[B]

Have we ever have. Has there been any. What is the. With the list? My, my. Here's my theory on the Jeffrey Epstein team. What is to see what you think.

[A]

Oh, I'd love to hear this.

[B]

Okay. I think that, I think that the people are so powerful that I, that I know, I know in certain cases the lawyers go to the lawyers of these powerful people and they go, how you doing? Now we got some evidence that your client, who's a family man and everything else, was banging girls on Jeffrey's island.

[A]

Getting pissed on.

[B]

Yeah, whatever it is, bro, it's nuts.

[A]

Put it in a cinch. Sure. We got little kids are in his mouth.

[B]

Sure. Hey, dude.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hold on. What kind of podcast is this?

[A]

They're doing drugs, they're taking wild chances.

[B]

As I put this cigar on my mouth, I don't know.

[A]

These are good cigars, right? Delicious shout out to foundation cigars.

[B]

Yeah, it's great. But I think what happened was there was a lot of money and every one of those fucking people got paid off. I think it just went away because there's money. They came to these really rich people and they were like, what's your privacy worth? What's your reputation worth? How about 10 million? How about 20?

[A]

Well, this is the whole suspicion as to why the guy who was the CEO of Victoria's Secrets gave Jeffrey Epps Epstein a 60 million dollar mansion in.

[B]

Manhattan and controlled his whole estate.

[A]

Yeah, and then there was the other guy who was some big CEO who gave him $150 million and had to resign. Yeah, A bunch of these guys resigned, money got passed around and unbelievably the client list has not been released.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I mean, it's been.

[B]

He was very good at laundering money, I guess. And he was also, even though I.

[A]

Don'T know what he really did, you know, the, the person do I trust about those things is Eric Weinstein. Another Jew. Yes, another brilliant Jew.

[B]

I love Eric. I love my favorite people.

[A]

He's amazing. But when I talked to him about it, he actually met Jeffrey Epstein and he said, and Eric is just way too smart, you know, he's not a guy that you can fool.

[B]

Right. This is a construct right away.

[A]

That's what he said. He said this guy's a construct. He said that he had a woman, like a 21 year old girl that was sitting on his lap and he kept kind of like nudging his knee up and down to make her tits bounce a little bit. He kept doing that while I was talking to him. He's like, what is this? And he's like, also this guy does not know what he's talking about when it comes to finances.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know, like Eric's a legitimate genius.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

You know, a mathematician. You can't lie to him about stuff like that.

[B]

I would tell you his, his theory on, on what he thinks this whole thing is. This whole, you know, oh, it's a simulation or whatever. You're here. He's. Because, you know, so, so Newton, there's Newtonian physics, right? Which is this matter here. And then there's quantum physics, study of the electron that Einstein was the pioneer of and blah, blah, blah. So Einstein was working on what's called a theory of Everything, which was the bridge. How do you, how do you. Because a lot of times the rules in this ether, in Newtonia, in the world that we live in are different with when it comes to gravity and light than they are on a quantum level. So what is the bridge? How do we bring them together? How do we reconcile both realities?

[A]

Right?

[B]

So that's the theory of Everything. So Eric is obsessed with that and kind of works on.

[A]

Well, he made his own theory of everything.

[B]

Yeah. So his idea is that maybe the singularity is already here and maybe we're already machines. And we are. So, so watch this. So we're already machines replicating better machines, better versions of ourselves. And it's kind of an interesting. Because it kind of dovetails with Buddhism, right? So watch this. I'm going to do an experiment on you that a Buddhist Rinpoche will ask somebody get in the lotus position. There it is. There it is, dude. Good breathing, good breathing.

[A]

I'm watching this guy.

[B]

Too much yang energy. Bring your yin in.

[A]

DMT breathing. Today on Instagram, he was explaining how to spike your DMT and communicate with entities. And he was saying how you compress your balls and your asshole and all your sex organs and then through your abdominals and you exhale all your breath, and then you breathe like this, and then you come and you get that DMT flow.

[B]

Oh, is that what you get?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

It doesn't work for me.

[A]

It's not working with one.

[B]

Did he have a boner when he was.

[A]

The thing is, like, most of these things take a long fucking time. And I'm busy.

[B]

I'm busy, dude.

[A]

I'm busy and I'm easily distracted. I have a lot of add.

[B]

I'll just lick a toad.

[A]

All right, well, that's like my buddy.

[B]

My buddy did that. He did. He licked a toe. He did the toad thing.

[A]

Oh, the toad thing's odd.

[B]

He called me up, he goes, everything's different now. I'm like, all right, calm down.

[A]

But that's 5 methoxy. That's 5 method. Have you done methyltryptamine? Allegedly, yeah. The thing about Kundalini yoga and all these different ways where you can achieve those states. Like, Terence McKenna had a great line about that. He's like, one time, the Buddha came to visit this town, and this monk came to the Buddha and he said, I have practiced a city of levitation for 10 years, and now I can walk on water. And the Buddha says, yeah, but the fairy's only a nickel. And that was McKenna's comment. That was McKenna's take on, why would you do this? This when you could just take psychedelics?

[B]

Yeah, that's so good.

[A]

You don't really have to meditate for 10 years, homie.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Missed out on a lot of enlightenment while you're staring at a corner of the wall.

[B]

Yeah, you hear those guys a lot. That's kind of why, like, Zen masters will say, I have nothing to teach you. Because once you the part of you. So the idea would be, you can't improve yourself.

[A]

What?

[B]

He goes, because the part of you that wants to improve yourself is the part that needs improving. So until you get out of. Until you get out of your own way and you realize that you. This. This construct called yourself is an imagined construct. You've invented this. So, like, Sam Harrison, and he studies the Vedanta, right? So in his book Spirituality Without Religion, he does. He does this experiment which the Buddhists will. They'll have you do. They'll say, so you're watching me right now. I'm talking now. Now, there's this guy named Joe Rogan, okay? And we know Joe Rogan's got this. But for a second, try to locate where you really are. In other words, where are you actually listening to me from? Where are you? Where is the seat of your attention? Are you behind your face? Are you here? And if you try to do that, it's. It's kind of impossible to locate where you're hearing me from. There's this sort of echo, this idea.

[A]

That you're not a lot of mental jerking off. I'm right here. I'm looking at you right here. I hear you. You know, I know. I hear you through my ears, because if I plug this one up, it sounds different. And if I plug both of them up, I don't hear you at all. I'm assuming the sound's coming in here. I'm right here. I'm talking to you.

[B]

You're still attached to your physical.

[A]

This is all like the children of rich kids who sit around pondering the universe.

[B]

This is Buddhism, man. Come on. You're not even a good student.

[A]

They take a backpack and they go on a trek, and they stay in hostels because they're amazing.

[B]

I turned to my. I turned to the other room to say, he's not ready yet.

[A]

He's not ready.

[B]

We have to break him down further.

[A]

Yeah, no, there's something to that, all aside. Yeah. It's related to weird exercise.

[B]

Yeah. Because the idea would be you can observe your. Your brain, so you can observe your thoughts, you can observe your. Your body, and you can observe your emotions. You can actually step outside and watch that stuff. And they get really good at that. Like, they get really good at realizing that you're not. You're none of those things. You might be the observer, whoever that is, or whatever that is. And that's kind of where they. It's kind of an interesting exercise. That's why you see these dudes. That guy, that monk who set himself on fire right. In 1963, that. Now David Halberstan from the New York Times said, he didn't make a sound. They watched him, and he literally. They heard the air leave his lungs and he just fell over.

[A]

So did the lady on the subway. Is that true either?

[B]

Well, she was also probably asleep or something.

[A]

She was. Until she was lit on fire.

[B]

Jesus Christ. Yeah, so I don't know But. But the idea.

[A]

I've never seen anybody.

[B]

He never moved.

[A]

Burning, covered, engulfed in flames. He might not be able to talk. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, but he also didn't move. So he stayed.

[A]

Oh, no. It was an incredible.

[B]

So he left his body. He was watching himself. That would be the idea behind. That's what they would say.

[A]

Or he had incredible discipline, and through insane pain, he sat there.

[B]

Yeah. Well, have you. Have you seen those videos? How about the. When the Indian army went up. This is recent.

[A]

That is such a crazy.

[B]

Jamie, bring up the Indian army.

[A]

Hold on. Pull that photo back again. Look how insane that photo is. That guy is just sitting there completely.

[B]

The way the president of South Vietnam at the time, who was a staunch Roman Catholic, was treating Buddhists. And he said, please have some compassion, and lit himself on fire. What a bad motherfucker.

[A]

Now, that's a good argument for celibacy, because if that guy's getting a lot of.

[B]

Well, that's right. Because you're attached to a sensation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So they. They rid themselves again. Yeah. I have a long way. If you burn me with this cigar, I'd be like, fuck it, you know, I can't. I can't do that.

[A]

Playoffs. We're talking about playoffs. You bet. We are. Get in on the action with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Scoring touchdowns is key to winning the playoffs, and you can score big by betting on them at DraftKings, the number one place to bet touchdowns. Ready to place your bet? Try betting on something simple, like a player. To score six, go to DraftKings Sportsbook app and make your pick. New DraftKing customers can bet five bucks to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKingsSportsbook app and use the code Rogan. That's code Rogan for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings sportsbook, the crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny467-369 In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-78-97777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boyd. In Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng co audio. Yeah, I think all those Things are tools to try to break out of the ego. Right. It's all. The problem that most people have is they think about themselves all the time. And the worst version of it is extreme narcissism, you know, and sociopathy. And then the. The best people are the people that think about others more than they think about themselves. Those are the people that we admire the most. The people that like, genuinely think about other people.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

A lot. I think one thing that I really genuinely do try to do is I try to not think about myself. I think about things that I must do. I do think about things that I don't like that I did like. I don't like how I handled that conversation. Maybe I. Maybe I was coming in like a little hot. Maybe I was coming in at a five and I should have been at a two. And maybe. Maybe the reason why I became like a contentious argument was my fault.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and I'm very good. I'm so much better at that than I was when I was younger at like. I can have a conversation with someone that I vehemently disagree with and keep it very civil.

[B]

Yeah. When we were younger, both you and I, we start shouting our opinion.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's about winning also.

[A]

We were all. And we were young and stupid and we had bad role models. There's a lot of things going on, you know, and like men would shut the up that like men would talk like men. And also, like, I grew up essentially feral. I. I didn't have any, like, normal structure.

[B]

I feel like I did a little bit too, I think.

[A]

Well, you certainly did. You traveled all over the country, all over the world. You were in a boarding school. When you were in high school, it's like.

[B]

Yeah. Like 13.

[A]

Like, we talked. I remember talking to you about your life store. I'm like you. It's amazing you're not more up. Like you should be like, really up.

[B]

My aunt and uncle said they go, we just can't believe you're not in jail or on drugs, you know?

[A]

Well, you became the best thing for someone who's fucked up, which is a comedian. Yeah, right.

[B]

My parents were awesome though. They loved the out of me, so that was a huge part.

[A]

They're not bad. Look, it could have. My parents are nice too. It could have definitely been way worse. It's not their fault. They had a child in 1967.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And everybody was retarded back then.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And their parents went through the depression, so everybody was Just it was a vile time with so many different aspects of our society with violence and crime and it was, you know, no one knew what the was going on. They had just killed Kennedy. There was like, it wasn't a time.

[B]

World War II was fresh destruction.

[A]

Vietnam was ongoing. Yeah, right. So it was a time of great confusion and I don't think you could ever compare. It's like we go back and we think about things that happen in the year 1200, like, oh, the barbaric conquests of cities and sacking of countries by the Mongols and all this crazy stuff. It's a different time. It's a different time. There's different people in a different time. Our parents grew up in a different time. We are growing up in the most strange time because this is like coming out of this barbaric sort of primal history and recognizing in some strange way that we're more connected than ever before. And the electronics are bringing us connected but also disconnecting us at the same time. So this is bizarre struggle for like inter human communication and personal communication and learning how to like exchange ideas with people and talk to people in a civil way. While you're also, you're, you're more informed than ever before, more informed on human behavior patterns and psychology. We're seeing it play out right before our eyes. Where you've sat, you had a total polar shift of some of the key tenets of the left and the right. Where the left is all for a war. The left is for censorship. The left is for whatever pharmaceutical drugs.

[B]

They'Re trying to push top down authority.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Fidelity to authority too. Just blind fidelity.

[A]

Blind fidelity.

[B]

And also the left has also become very good at destruction in a lot of ways. I'm not saying the right doesn't have its problems, but the left has become like you and I were talking about this. If you disagree with the left, they will come after everything. The right kind of goes, you're an idiot. And the make fun of you and do a meme about you. Yeah, but the left, you know, and that, that's, that's what I call the make or break machine. You know, if you look at. And this one of the things I talk about with my, my specialist, it just you, you take Caitlyn Jenner, who came out, Bruce Jenner has an operation for 8, 8 hours comes as is Caitlyn Jenner a minute later. It was an eight hour. The first one was about eight hours on the face. Did a great job, by the way. By the way. How about this, Can I just say this? Like.

[A]

Don't say you'd her.

[B]

No, no, take it easy. But I'm just saying.

[A]

Don't say it.

[B]

I'm just saying.

[A]

You think it's saying.

[B]

How about, how about a little something for the surgeon? He should have won artist of the year. That Bruce Channel 65 year old man looked like a 45 year old woman. Came out of it. But a minute later, one woman of the year. All right, dude, listen, we all have our taste, okay? I'm sorry.

[A]

I like 45 year old ladies. That's why I'm looking at you this way. I like me a hot 45 year old lady.

[B]

I'm saying makeup on Glamour magazine look very good.

[A]

Like a well kept 40s lady. Goes to the gym, does squats. Talking about a real athlete hanging on because she wants to hang on everybody.

[B]

Six, two, maybe six, three.

[A]

When you're 23, you don't even have to hang on. You're just there, you're perfect.

[B]

That's why I don't take any advice on Health from 26 year olds. Yeah, more berries.

[A]

Shut the up mouth. Yeah, shut your mouth.

[B]

Come get, get into my body for a second.

[A]

Your hydrogen water. You shut your mouth off.

[B]

I got to warm my feet up.

[A]

24 years old.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You were just born. Do you have born a matter of months ago?

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Show your dirty mouth.

[B]

Correct. I'm calcifying motherfucker. And none of your shit's gonna help my calcification. I'm dying.

[A]

I have arthritis.

[B]

So do I. Yeah, so do I. I gotta warm my feet up before I get out of the car. Okay. I have a whole thing about that. But you know, that's, that, that's the reality. Getting older, you know.

[A]

Well, you're gonna be beat up. Especially if you work out a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's just no if, ands or buts about it. Yeah, shout outs are ways to. Well, for keeping me glued together though.

[B]

I gotta get involved.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna get involved and get some peptides and all this too. I was talking to Zuckerberg yesterday. He's. He got his knee reconstructed. I said, did you get on any peptides? He said, no. I go, do you hate healing?

[B]

He looks great.

[A]

He does. Looks good. He's got thick neck now.

[B]

I know he's got a thick neck. He's got a perm. He's actually handsome. He's got a. He's wearing a jewel.

[A]

He wears jewelry, very expensive watch. He looks great at his watch. I was like, that's Pricing.

[B]

How much was it?

[A]

I don't know. I'm not a real watch head.

[B]

He doesn't look at prices, sir.

[A]

Oh, he doesn't have to. No, no, thanks.

[B]

Free.

[A]

It's like. I'll take one of those, please.

[B]

Yeah. Just miles. Yeah.

[A]

Thanks for your data. Smiles.

[B]

I'm in the day.

[A]

I like him a lot.

[B]

I do, too.

[A]

I really do.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I hung out with him. I've talked to him quite a few times. He's a good dude. He's a good dude with a very weird job, you know, being in control of. What did he say it was? 3.1 billion people use.

[B]

God damn.

[A]

3.

[B]

Well, 3point was telling you this.

[A]

Billion fucking people use Facebook.

[B]

I was telling you this the other day. I think his political transformation is interesting because now there's a cynical view.

[A]

It's from jiu jitsu.

[B]

I agreed. When you do MMA and you're around other men and you're out, your testosterone goes up, you start to feel your body, you put your hands on the world, you're gonna have a different perspective for real. It's gonna change. They have done studies, I believe, Jamie, you can look at some where, where when they raise a man's testosterone, he becomes more conservative, more right wing.

[A]

Yes. But listen, man, and it's also a nice lesson to all those nerds out there that think they can never be a beast. It's not true. It's not true. You. You don't have to hate people that are, like, physically competent and formidable. You can be one of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I always bring up Mikey Musumichi just because he's awesome and he's a brilliant guy who's like, where's his thick glasses? Always smiling. He could fucking kill everybody in the room. Correct. Like Zuckerberg on his way to becoming that, you know, and he was, if you go back just a few years ago, nerdy guy, you know, who's like, really smart but not. Not really physical.

[B]

Spent his whole life up here. Now he's down here.

[A]

Well, he's talking about it. He was talking about on the podcast yesterday that he loves training because it gives him a chance to express this side that has been demonized in our culture.

[B]

Yeah. You know, sounds different even.

[A]

Yeah, he's getting. He's becoming a man.

[B]

Well, bro, men are raised by women in our schools and stuff. And. And because of this, probably in the past 30 years, masculinity was always considered. Was. Was. They were taught it's a liability. Your oppression, your competitiveness, all that stuff. Sorry.

[A]

Corporate environments, you know, which have really like put the brakes on masculine behavior. And we talked about that yesterday too, that like, that's actually in some ways a good thing because it gives women this opportunity to excel as well. You know, they shouldn't have to like become a man in order to get. You should. They shouldn't have that, you know, sexist perspective imposed upon them. And so. But it's like everything else. It's like an overcorrection.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like you have things go completely this way and then they come back. Like woke. Like the woke ideology, it went so far right or so far left. Now it's kind of swinging back.

[B]

Well, the woke ideology had a major problem, which was. It was reductive. Right. It would reduce, Yes. A complicated world to a binary world, which. Which is ironic, by the way, but it would, it would say to sort of say, I can solve all this. There are oppressors and oppressed. There's power and powerless black and white.

[A]

Also. There's no forgiveness.

[B]

Zero forgiveness.

[A]

Zero forgiveness.

[B]

Don't apologize.

[A]

They'll really crucify you and you can't. There's no retribution. There's no way to come back.

[B]

But my 13 year old son, you can see these kids now at 13. Don't start talking to him about this because these kids are like, they've already been. They figured it out at 13. I'm telling you, my son was like, I don't feel, I don't like this. I want to do jiu jitsu and wrestle all the time.

[A]

Also podcasts, correct? Yeah. I get to hear actual men who've made it through the maze and aren't a. Yeah. And they go, hey, wait a minute. That guy seems really nice and having fun. Company is an actual man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like there's real men.

[B]

He does shit that's fun too. Good at stuff. Good stuff.

[A]

Has a good time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the point. Stop crying all the time. Why are we fucking oversharing? Yeah. Why are we promoting and propping up people who fucking cry all the time? Listen, I cry. I cry. I cry. If I'm happy, I cry. If I'm sad, I cry. When I think about my dogs that have died.

[B]

I have a whole joke about that. It's like I. There are a couple things. My whole joke is this. I can't call my friends. I had this joke. I was like, if I call my friends and I'm like, I'm sad, my friends can call me. You got, you got the wrong number. Pussy. And it's like Joe Rogan. That's a mean way to talk to me, you know? But it's true. I remember one time I called you this great. I called you and I remember I. My audition went bad and it was like the third. I would get right there. I was about to. And back then, remember if you got a TV show, you, you, Your money problems were gone for a while.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

All I thought about was I get to drink great wine and buy a house and take a minute, right?

[A]

You're thinking of a nice car.

[B]

And I called you and I go like this. I go, dude, I don't know. I was good. And he goes, you can't be good. You gotta be great. I go, I know, I know, I know. I just, I don't know. I'm just. I don't know. I just can't. I can't figure it out. I'm. And I was bummed, right? And I was basically saying, I'm sad. And you go, you go, yeah. And he goes, what do you want to do tonight? I go, I don't know. I just A little down. He goes, hey, you'll be all right. Let's just go out and eat and do something. You'll figure it out. Relax. Don't. Don't get all like mopey about this shit. I was like, okay. And that was it.

[A]

A lot of people get mopey, man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had a lot of friends that got super mopey when they didn't get things. So think about the audition process. And I've always talked about this. This is a part of the whole problem with the entire psychology of Los Angeles because a giant percentage of people at least had somewhere the back of her head, some, some sort of an aspiration to try to get famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you move there, you have already of exorbitant need for attention because there's some hole in your past, in your. That you're trying to fill up with, I want to be a star.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't want to be so. And then you're going somewhere, so you have this need for acceptance. And then you're going somewhere where people judge you and most of the time judge you poorly. Most of the time they don't like you. So most things you audition for, you don't get. And if you get one, oh my God, now I'm in. And so now these manipulative people that are in charge of casting you, they can essentially mold your personality based on what they want. If they want a left wing personality if they want you to be pro Kamala. And we need a black woman president. You want you to say all that. I took my eighth booster this morning. Like, I believe in science. You know, love is love. Like, they'll turn you into that fucking thing. Yes, they'll turn you into that thing. Because the. The entire place is about the golden ticket. Everybody wants the golden ticket. I was so lucky because I never had any aspirations about acting. I had zero.

[B]

I remember you called me. Remember you called me.

[A]

Let me just. Let me tell you the whole story behind it. When mtv. When I did the half hour comedy hour, and then I got a development deal to do a sitcom, I had never taken a single acting class, and all sudden, I have this development deal, and I'm over there. And when the show that I was on got canceled, I was ready to go back to New York and be a comic again. I was like, fuck this place. But I bought off. I had a lease. I had a lease on an apartment for a year. I'm like, fuck, right? So I have. I was stuck in this. I couldn't afford to not be in this, because now I wasn't getting $20,000 a week anymore, whatever the fuck. I was like, holy shit. And I was ready to leave. And so then I get another development deal, and then I audition for the second show I ever do. I only had two auditions ever. Hardball and News Radio, and I'm on two TV shows. I'm like, this is crazy.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And so I never went through that whole thing. I never went through that whole, this could change my life. My life was already changed. I didn't. None of it made any sense to me. I was making all this money. I had a. I had a Toyota Supra Turbo. I was like, this is.

[B]

Remember you bought that Acura? The new Acura? Yeah, dude. I loved it. Used to pick me up in that.

[A]

It was like a little jet fighter car. I loved it, but it was just like, for me, it was all gravy. So I was watching everybody scramble for this thing, and I was examining the psychology of it and how it affects everything, because when people didn't get auditions, when they went on auditions and you went out to dinner with them at night, they were so depressed.

[B]

That would be me.

[A]

Oh, you. All you. All the time. You wanted it so bad. I remember we were at the Comedy Store one night, and I remember telling you, like, why don't you just do stand up? Why don't you just throw yourself into stand up?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you're so Funny, dude. You're so good on stage, but when you get up there, sometimes it's like, I feel like you're auditioning for a show. Yeah, that's what I felt like you were doing. You're doing stand up. You didn't want to be crazy, but then off stage you would say, wow. You'd say silly things. You'd be like, much more vulnerable and ridiculous. And that was the funny Brian count. Like, you just throw yourself into this.

[B]

You remember when I was doing that, I finally got my own show. I'm doing those shows. I was like, I, Dude, I. I don't like this. I want to do stand up Now. Yeah, now. I told you the cool thing about being 57. I'm enjoying stand up more now than I ever have.

[A]

Well, you're smarter now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Dom, a rare said this to me years ago. He's like, Joe, you know, he was like in his 60s at the time. It's like, Joe, I never been sharper than ever. You just keep doing it and you keep getting better. We're so lucky. We're coming. We're so lucky. And he was. He was better in his 60s than he was in his. He was always great.

[B]

He's always 60s, hilarious.

[A]

I paid to see Dom Herrera before I ever did stand up comedy.

[B]

Tom was the best time. So did I. So did I.

[A]

Did you.

[B]

I was in college and I was at the improv in New York and my father took me to. We sat there and watched Dom Herrera. I remember that's why when. When I come off stage at the Laugh Factory and I was still a little in awe of Dom, And Dom goes, right, come over here. And I was like, oh, maybe he's going to give me some pointers, you know? And I go over there. I go. He goes, you know what I love about your act? I go, what? And he goes, you don't go for the laughs.

[A]

Dom's the best at that. He's the subtle diss, the comedy diss. I became friends with Dom. Well, I think I'd actually done an open mic night or two before I met him, but then I. Or before I was paid to see him, rather. But then not that long afterwards. So this is like four years later, like 92. I was working with him in Montreal. We did the.

[B]

That's intimidating.

[A]

Yeah. It wasn't though. He was super cool.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Maybe it was a year after.

[B]

He's a real comic man.

[A]

Real comics to me was 93, so maybe it's like five years later. So I'm like, real raw in comedy. But I had my feet under me at that point in time where I had some material that could kill. Like, I wasn't a really good comic, but. But I had a few jokes, especially sex jokes that were bangers. They were bangers. And so we did Montreal together, and then I was in Amsterdam Billiards. This is in my. Almost became a professional pool player stage. Like, if. If pool was a real career, like golf, I would have become a pool player. I just loved it. I love the pool.

[B]

You're lucky you didn't get into Golf Maniac.

[A]

Terrible.

[B]

You're crazy.

[A]

But I love the. The pool players. I love the this, the hang. They were just so different. They were outcasts and they were loose and fun. And we. We said ridiculous shit to each other and everybody was laughing all the time. It was always fun. And so I was playing pool every night. And so I had a gig. And before the gig, I think, or maybe after the gig, I went to Amsterdam, and Don Barrera pulls up and he's got his own queue. And I was like, dom, you play pool? He's like, yeah, you play pool. I go, I fucking love pool. I go, let's play some pool. And he was good. We were playing straight pool, which is like the type of pool they played in the movie the Hustler. It's very rarely played in America anymore, but it's an amazing game. You play with a stack of 15 balls and you knock off one. The first break is like a safe break, and everybody moves balls around till someone makes a mistake and leaves an opening and that guy smashes into the balls. And then you run as many balls as you can in order. So it's called 14.

[B]

So it doesn't matter if it's solid.

[A]

Doesn't matter. You leave 14 balls on the table, and the one ball, like you leave a break ball and then you rack the other 14, and so you shoot the break ball in. The idea is to collide your cue ball into the stack and keep running. So let me give a shout out to Jason Shaw, because Jason Shaw, who's one of the best pool players on earth, one of the greatest of all time, he just broke the world record in straight pool this week. And I think. I think he ran 839 balls. Jason with a Y. J, A y.

[B]

Dude from 839 in a row.

[A]

Yeah, he's trying to get to a thousand.

[B]

That's insane.

[A]

So he got 832. 832. So the record before was set by Willie Moscone in like the 60s. And it was on an eight foot table with big pockets that was like 500 and something balls. So he beat that. He ran 714 balls. So that was the previous world record he also owned. And then he just ran 832 balls. When I tell you, like, the concentration involved in doing that, because you're talking about hours of play. I mean, I don't know how many racks of 15 balls is 832. Someone do the math.

[B]

I think when you do. I think when you get that good at anything, you learn about. You learn everything about life.

[A]

He's a wizard.

[B]

And about yourself.

[A]

He is a wizard.

[B]

Yeah, but you. But I'm saying when you master something like that, I'm not saying your marriage is going to be great. I'm saying when you master something like that, it's a. It's a very good way to really get to know yourself.

[A]

Here's how great professional pool is right now. He doesn't even win most tournaments. That's. Yep.

[B]

Is there a nationality he can't dominate?

[A]

No. Filipinos are among the highest level on earth.

[B]

Why do you know?

[A]

Well, because the Gis went there in the 1950s and they brought pool. And Filipinos learned how to play pool in very tough conditions. Because it's very humid over there, so humidity affects the tablecloth, and the moisture in the tablecloth slows down the roll of the balls. And so you could take two approaches to that. You could either hit the balls hard, which is like the American way to do it, or the Filipinos learn to use the entire weight of the cue and have an elegant, almost like artistic way of playing. They have the most beautiful strokes. Yes, they have the most beautiful strokes, especially at the time. So there's a guy who came over in the 1970s and his name was Efren Reyes, and he came over under the. The nom de plur, Cesar Morales. And he was this Filipino kid who.

[B]

Changed to a different Spanish name.

[A]

Yeah, well, he went from Filipino to Mexico can. Yeah, because everybody would have known him.

[B]

Right.

[A]

If they had ever gone to the Philippines. Because in the Philippines he was already robbing everybody. And like a legitimate wizard. A chess genius. And unbelievable. Widely considered, if not the greatest of all time, one of the mount. You know, it's like mma. Like, is it Khabib? Is it Mighty Mouse? Is it Jon Jones? It's one of those deals. One of the absolute greatest pool players of all time. And then from Efren Reyes came all these other. This Filipino invasion where they were just dominating pool like and big money, like giant money games. Half a million dollar matches. Yeah, yeah, a ton of them.

[B]

When you, when you have a match, how many games do you plan?

[A]

It depends. Some of these guys will play like a race to 120. Whoever wins 120 games and they'll play it over three days, they'll do it for $100,000.

[B]

Wait, a race? 120 games?

[A]

120 games of nine ball.

[B]

That's a lot.

[A]

That's a lot. But that's really going to find out who's the. So like if you and I played 10 games and maybe I'm a little better than you, you could win those 10 games. You could get on a roll, you could get a lot of rolls of the balls where I get safe a few times or I scratch on the break a couple of times and so that's two more games that you maybe wouldn't have won if we were playing, you know, even. And you could win a race to 10. Like the, the odds of me winning a race to 10. If we were both, if I was just slightly better than you, it'd be like, you know, maybe 60, 40 or 55. 45, something like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But when you get to a race to 120, then your odds dwindle. Well, that's a better player always.

[B]

That becomes a physical game too. Now you're actually an athlete.

[A]

Yes, well, sort of. I mean, penetration for sure.

[B]

Yeah. But your body can't break down because.

[A]

Your body can't break down. Those, the best guys are all fit. You never get really big. Big fatsos. No, that can handle. There used to be a guy.

[B]

What I love about the Hustler, one of the great greatest movies ever with Paul Newman is when Jackie. What the fuck's his name?

[A]

Gleason.

[B]

Jackie Gleason said it really came down to character. He, he washed his hands, washed his face and drew a blank and came back and beat him. That, that was a really interesting lesson for me as a young man.

[A]

Guys really do that too. They clear their mind. They go in the bathroom, they throw cold water on their face, they wash their hands, they change their clothes. They just need something to break themselves out of it. It's a mental game. Like, you know, Jeremy Jones, who's another all time great, won the US Open. Good friend of mine we were talking about, he's like, I think it's the most mental game in the world because it's not just about thinking about what happens. It's about Execution under pressure. And then it's also about. You're controlling the rotation of a ball. Like, you. If you hit it this hard, it goes that. But if you hit it this hard, it goes that far. And that's what you want. You want the difference between an inch and an inch and a half. It's crazy.

[B]

But everything. Everything at the highest level, at the highest level is those micro adjustments.

[A]

The reason why Magnus Carlsen wins all.

[B]

Those chess tournaments, right when they say when, when Rafa Nadal, who's one of the greatest tennis players ever, when he won Wimbledon, they're all clapping. He comes in and the legend goes. I don't know if it's true, but I heard it makes sense. He. He's coming in, he's going like this. He goes, I think my grip. I think I want to. He's not even paying attention. He's talking to his coach. I feel like my grip should be just a little bit like that or still making micro adjustments. You just want one.

[A]

You have to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what makes them so good in the first place. I know guys who change their grip all the time in their cue. Like, sometimes they'll grab it like this with two fingers, and then they change it, and then they turn their wrist forward, and they'll play for a year with their wrist forward. Oh, guys do it.

[B]

But isn't stand up. Like. So I'm going to shoot the special and I'm going to throw it away, and I got to start again. Yeah. And just because I've done five specials doesn't mean it's going to be easier. It's going to be a motherfucker. Because I've got to come up with. I got to make sure I don't repeat myself. I got to make sure I'm not.

[A]

You gotta have something to say.

[B]

You got something to say. You can't get calcified.

[A]

Month off of stand up after I did my special because I didn't have anything to say.

[B]

You have to.

[A]

I'm like, I got drained doing that thing, especially doing it live.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is so draining. And then I was like, let me, like, think about what I want to talk about afterwards. Like, and then.

[B]

Do you have any ideas now?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I've got, like, 25 minutes now. Yeah, yeah. It's. It's good stuff. Like, it's fun.

[B]

Do you ever get tired of talking to. Do you ever get tired of doing this podcast even though you have very interesting people? No.

[A]

No. Oddly enough at all the things in my life this is the one thing that I. I kind of net. Well, first of all, I choose who goes on it. Right. So I'm always looking forward to talking to those people. Yeah, but I love talking to people, man. I. I like it. Like, that's like the whole, like, moody loner thing. I don't get it. Like, people to me are awesome. They're interesting. I like being inspired. I like being intrigued. I like trying to see a lot.

[B]

Of problem solvers on this podcast.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, I've definitely gotten a. Unexpected education.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, if you go back and listen to me in 2009, when I started this thing, I was a retard.

[B]

We all were.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think what was interesting is we would. I'd have these opinions and I'd state these truths and then like, somebody would Google it and be like, hey, hey, dude. No, it's like I had this hilarious. Typical Brian Kell. I'm talking about cows. Grass fed, all this shit. Hey, hey, man. Never been on a farm, okay. Never. Never raised cows. The farmer goes, hey, I love your podcast. Brian's wrong about everything he said, but it's cool. I fucking emailed the guy back. You know, I'm talking to him and he gave me an education. He's like, I mean, what you're saying is just not true when it comes to how you raise cows. And there was a thousand things, of course, I had no idea. That's the biggest liability, I think, in a lot of ways.

[A]

You know who you should talk to? You should have Will Harris on your show.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

Will Harris runs this amazing farm in Georgia where it started out as a industrial farm that his family owned, and he converted it to regenerative agriculture over 20 years, and it took him forever to do it. What's the name of the farm again, Jamie? White Oak Pastures. White Oak Pastures. White Oak Pastures. And then there's Joel Salatin, who's a similar guy, who I think he was. They were talking about him having something to do with farming in the Trump administration. I don't know if that's come to pass, but if it does, I really do hope that he'll be involved because he's another brilliant guy who runs a regenerative farm.

[B]

Farming's no joke.

[A]

And what they do is essentially their type of farming is recreating nature. So they just contain nature instead of, like, having people, you know, shuttle all these cows into these stalls and put a fucking trough in front of them. And like, no, these. These animals graze out in the field, they just control where they go and they eat what they normally would eat. And they make sure that they get plenty of new ground. So they move them to new ground. When they've used up all the grass, they push him over there. And then the chickens do the same thing. They. They have a chicken coop. That's a mobile chicken coop. They push it out, they open it up, they run around. And then he's dealing with, like, hawks killing his chickens. So he's got to come up with ways to seduce the hawks.

[B]

Yeah, this is like Mike Catherwood. You know Mike, Great guy. Do you know Mike Catherwood? He was on Loveline.

[A]

Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, I know Mike.

[B]

And he lives in Austin. So he.

[A]

What do they call it? What's his. His name on the radio?

[B]

My Catherine. So Mike gets. Mike comes down with his wife who's an actress, and they're like, I'm going to be in Austin on the outskirts, and I want to live on a farm. So he's a kid here? Yeah, he's a kid from la. He goes, I get here and we got guinea fowl, we got little sheep, we got, you know, rabbits. We got. And fucking. The snakes are eating all my eggs. The guinea fowl are getting decimated by coyotes, foxes, whatever the fuck it lives out there. Yeah, I mean, everything's dying. Coyotes was getting decimated by hawks coming in. I'll take that. I'll take your bunnies. That's adorable. You think you can raise bunnies? So they're just getting decimated. Guess what they did? What's the one change they made?

[A]

What they do?

[B]

They got two Anatolian shepherds.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And bro, he said even the snakes are on those. He's like, those dogs are just like the coyotes. Excuse me, sir.

[A]

That's what they're. That's what they were bred for.

[B]

Oh, my God. And they're not pets. Not indoor pets.

[A]

No.

[B]

Those fucking things will just patrol your grounds. And anything on four legs is going to pay a very dear price.

[A]

Good. Yeah, I want four of them.

[B]

Yeah. They don't fuck around.

[A]

I'm going to buy a ranch.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Been talking about it for a while. Just waiting for them maybe. But at the very least, we're going to put the podcast on a ranch.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I want to have a big ranch. I want to do the work.

[A]

A big piece of land in case things go sideways, where I can have, like a whole community on a ranch. This is where I start my culture I'm gonna have just let people build on the ranch, like, give them a few acres.

[B]

I got some kids. I want to come.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Like, imagine if you have like a 2,000 acre property, and on that 2,000 acre property, there's like a literal community of you and your friends and you can go hunt on the land.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then there's water. There's a lake there.

[B]

Count me in. I'll wear a tweed jacket. I'll smoke cigars. I'm not going to do any of.

[A]

The work, but I'll do any of the work. Boy, there's no need for that.

[B]

Go and take care of that head.

[A]

I think it's a crazy dream. Like, it's a crazy idea to do. But isn't everything a crazy? Like, coming here is a crazy idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Building the mothership was a crazy idea.

[B]

But what if you had like a big pond with fish?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you can fish. You had land, you can shoot your own, you know.

[A]

Let me tell you about freshwater fish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can't eat a lot of them.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because of poison.

[B]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot of mercury in freshwater fish.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. There was a dude who. What did he win? He won some big fishing derby. He was a big time fisherman. He started getting some weird neurological condition and it turned out it was because he was just eating freshwater fish all the time in some lakes. So you got to think about rainfall. Like you remember when we were younger. Acid rain. Everybody's worried about rain. What happened to that? I don't know. It went away. But the thing about it is, like pollutants in the air. When the rain comes down, it does bring all that into the water and then it stays in that water, you know, so if you've got a lake, in that lake gets drowned on with pollution, rain, you're gonna have a certain amount of toxic elements that are gonna be in that water.

[B]

Mercury is not good for.

[A]

Why don't you Google how much. Oh, Jamie's already on it. Eating one freshwater fish equals a month of drinking Forever chemicals.

[B]

Water problem. No more trout for me.

[A]

See, that's the. The problem. These forever chemicals, pfas, found at high levels in freshwater fish with most concern for vulnerable communities. So, like, this is a good point about the vulnerable communities, because I was filming a TV show once in Detroit, and we were on the banks of this river that was clearly polluted, and there was all these really poor people who were on the banks of that river that were fishing for food.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And not just a few, like quite a bunch of people that were trying to get their dinner on that river. And you know, people that really, they needed that for food. They looked real poor. And you know, there was a white, black, all kinds of different nationalities, Asians and a lot of people. And I was like, whoa. Like Detroit is at least was in 2012 when I was filming this thing was fucking scary. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you realize how a city which was one of the richest cities in the country, thereby one of the richest cities in the world in the 1950s, during the peak of the automotive industry. And then to see it just decimated, decimated. And these people were just. And I was like, oh my God, they're going to eat these fish. And then I thought, oh my God, they have to eat these fish.

[B]

Well, that was the Great Migration, right. So from the south, the black. The huge number of black people went up to Detroit looking for jobs. And the problem was when they got to there. First of all, the auto industry started to get decimated because it started to move toward Japan and different countries. But in the 50s, I can't remember see when the Great Migration was. It was before that.

[A]

I feel like everything started fucking up in the 70s.

[B]

Well, they had jobs and there was a whole thriving community. But really what happened also is that the auto workers union. I'm sorry, but it kept black people out of it. There's a lot of racism that went on, so a lot of people couldn't find jobs.

[A]

The Great Migration refers to a large scale movement of approximately 6 million African Americans from the rural south to urban areas in north and west between roughly 1916 and 1970. Driven primarily by the desire to escape racial violence, pursue better economic opportunities and access improved education in the north, escaping Jim Crow laws. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Didn't work out.

[A]

Well, it did. I mean, maybe in a way it did because they thrived in those areas where they probably wouldn't have.

[B]

Well, it was like the Puerto Rican exodus from Puerto Rico to New York. They went up there looking for manufacturing jobs. Then the manufacturing jobs coincided with moving south. So you had this massive number of people who didn't have anywhere to go.

[A]

In the early 1900s, many African Americans migrated north to work in Detroit's booming industries. Yet they rarely saw the benefits. Many white neighbors actively denied African Americans access to decent living conditions and job opportunities.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

Yeah. So a lot of darkness and all that stuff.

[B]

There is.

[A]

Yeah, the city that's left over now. You know you've seen Roger Me, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Michael Morrison film, which Is like. I think his best one is like, when he was pure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, he wasn't, like, ideologically captured and editing things for effect. He was pure.

[B]

That was a bummer. I saw that he started doing that. Yeah.

[A]

It is a problem, because then it makes you question everything else.

[B]

Well, the biggest thing that everybody. Mainstream publication is in crisis, and I think they've earned it, They've deserved it. The New York Times still makes money, but primarily not because of their articles that people read. It's primarily because they're crosswords, they're puzzles. But, you know. Yeah, but when you take things out of context and you have journalists that are 26 years old and have an ideological bent, people just, you know, the rest of us are going, the news doesn't reflect the world I live in. Whatever the fuck you're saying. I don't know who this is. I don't even. I've never Live in a very different world. And it's going to be interesting to see. I think there's a liability, though, where podcasts take the place of mainstream media in some ways, because then you have somebody who's very good at talking for three hours, and they can really sway a lot of people, but that's one side of their story. So now you have just that. So you have to be careful because sometimes it could just move things over here, where, again, the truth is somewhere in the middle a lot of times. Or it's more nuanced, or there's just more to know.

[A]

It's definitely more nuanced. I think there's always going to be a real problem with people that don't really know what's going on. Say they know what's going on.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

When they say they know what's going on, it confuses everybody and fucks everything up. And it's another version of Gaslighting. So CNN and, you know, msnbc, they Gaslight you. They gaslight you, and they actively promote propaganda and narratives that. That are not objectively true. And the problem on the other side is if you are in opposition of that and you say, you know this and you know that, but you really don't. Like, you got to be real clear with what you say. They have to. People have to really be able to try. Like, if you don't know, you have to say, ooh, I didn't know that. You have to say that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If you do not say that, no one is going to listen to you anymore. And they shouldn't.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because the difference between someone who's Completely independent and a podcaster and someone who's on CNN should be that no one is telling you what to do. So what is your ethical compass?

[B]

What's the evidence?

[A]

Too Right, what's the evidence, but also what's your ethical compass? Are you trying to win and be correct or are you trying to find out what's going on?

[B]

Well, it's also about ratings, right? So you gotta.

[A]

Yeah, but it's not because I don't think about ratings.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

I'm saying that, but that's why I have have them.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

See what I'm saying? Like, it's not about ratings, right? Like ratings come if people believe you. Like if you sit around thinking about the ratings, do you think you would be on.

[B]

No, no. What do you mean?

[A]

You be on this show right now.

[B]

I should have always, like saying things. Yeah. How'd that come across? Can we do that again? Let me do that again. You didn't get it. You didn't even catch it. Oh, you. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, you. You're saying that more Mark Zuckerberg and Mel Gibson get better, better ratings than me?

[A]

Occasionally. Occasionally they do. Look, I like talking to everybody. I don't, I genuinely don't give a fuck, like how the show's gonna do. I don't think you can. I think if you do that, it'll distort what you do. And I think we've all seen people who fall victim to what they call audience capture. You know, they start getting a crowd. Like, you see with a lot of guys, like online, they start saying like a lot of wacky right wing things and everybody like, yeah, finally someone's telling the truth and then they become dislike of a fucking.

[B]

My compass for that is this. Whenever I hear somebody say on a podcast or whatever, when they say, you guys, all those people over there are wrong. I'm the one whistleblower. I figured out I'm the one. Now you do have mavericks. But I always am weary of when I hear somebody go all that the entire medical establishment is wrong and I'm right and I go, I don't think so. I think it's way. I just don't think you know enough. I don't think you as one person. I'm not going to just put all my bags. There is something called a scientific consensus. Sometimes that could be a bullshit consensus. We can be told, we can be told that climate scientists all agree it's not true. It's just how you get funding. So sometimes the Incentive structures are there.

[A]

And the same with the medical stuff.

[B]

Correct. Let's just be a little bit. Let's be a little bit more. Yeah.

[A]

You can't say, you know, things because I've heard people who are those kind of people say they know things about me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, oh, you know, that you can't use your phone on his show. I've heard people say that, like, confidently. I've heard people confidently say that he's handled by the CIA. Listen, Mike Baker is my friend, and I'm pretty sure he's still in the CIA. I like him. I like him. I have him on because, like, here's a guy who was a CIA operative. Like, let me ask this guy. And I really do believe he's a patriot, and I really do think he's a great guy. And I think there's a lot of them. And I don't believe cops are bad, and I don't believe any of that bullshit. I think there's bad people in every fucking business. A lot of comedians that I think are rotten cunts. I don't like them.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You know, but it doesn't mean I hate comedians. I love comedians. But there's some comedians that fucking suck. And if you encounter those comedians and that's your only exposure to comedians, you're gonna think, oh, my God, these guys are all selfish assholes and narcissists, and they rob people and. Yeah, it's not just a few. It's just a few of those.

[B]

I also know some CIA people, like, real CIA people. And you talk to them, and it's like, they're always like this. They're always like, dude, I. I wish we were as competent as people say. I mean, yeah, if you were involved.

[A]

Talk to Evan Hafer. Like, he's one of my best friends.

[B]

I had breakfast with him today.

[A]

Love that guy. I love to death. And he's finally coming to my show. Yeah, I love him.

[B]

Yeah. I just said this to him.

[A]

He's. That he. That was his business for a while.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

I know a bunch of those guys.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And you need. You need. You want to know how the real world works? The real world works. Talk to Evan. Have a conversation with Evan, Andy stuff.

[B]

Same thing with. I said to him, I go. I went to his wedding, and I loved everybody there because they were all his closest friends. Evan was there and stuff. And I just. That was the first time I met Evan, and. And I'm just talking to these tier one guys, and they just seem so intelligent, and they were so. And they were. And John Dudley was there and a lot of like, great guys. But I'm talking to some pretty cool people, right? Who, who, who have done a lot with their life. And they were well rounded and everything else. And I said, man, I just think it'd be so fun to be in that, in a tier one unit because they're just all so. They're so smart and they're just, they just have such a wide breadth of knowledge. Andy goes, God, you're so fucking wrong.

[A]

That's Andy.

[B]

And he's the best.

[A]

Andy had one of the quickest paths to black belts I think I've ever seen.

[B]

Oh, is he a black belt now?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Well, he lives with a black belt instructor.

[A]

That's the thing. When your wife is a black belt, you better get your fucking P's and Q's in order, son.

[B]

Man. Yeah, I think he's probably across. Quick study. That dude is so smart. He's another guy who's very smart.

[A]

Genius, but also obsessive. Like, he got obsessive with bow hunting, became very proficient at bow hunting very quickly. And then, you know, living with a black beltos, what a huge advantage. You can just drill with your wife.

[B]

Six guy, so he's got some physicality.

[A]

Hot. You know, your wife's triangle strangling and she could probably kick his ass in the beginning.

[B]

Leah. Leah is built like a true athlete.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You cannot be light in the.

[A]

Super smart too.

[B]

Yeah, super smart.

[A]

Which like, I think most black belts are. I think it's just there's too many things you have to consider to get that good at Jiu jitsu. There's so.

[B]

There's infinite.

[A]

Yeah, you could be a brute and just brute strength your way through a lot of it and, you know, be kind of halfway dumb and get to black belt maybe.

[B]

My only regret is not going down that rabbit hole. I train now.

[A]

I wake up every morning going, ah.

[B]

Yeah, you don't train much anymore, right?

[A]

No, I want to, though. This is the thing. I'm trying to rehab my knee. My knee is the thing that's keeping me from doing it right now. I twisted it when I was hunting this year pretty bad.

[B]

My joke swollen. That happened to me the other day. I trained at this, this in Nono's mma, who. I love it down in Hermosa and I love doing it. But I, of course, I'm rolling with a 26 year old and I'm like, let's go. And of course I'm 57 and I see his ankle don't give me your ankle, bro. I'm an ankle guy. I pick his ankle, drive him to the ground, fucking poke that ankle.

[A]

I'm back.

[B]

I'm back, bro. I'm a wrestler. High school.

[A]

How tired?

[B]

High school dude had trouble looking left for 11 days.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Fucking worth it.

[A]

Well, you gotta, when you're old, you gotta roll in a different way. You gotta roll like, roll with John Jacques Machado. Okay? John Jacques Machado, who was, you know, my instructor since 1998. John Jock is still rolling and still dominating black belts on the mat. Yeah, when John Jock rolls, he never moves fast. There's no fast. His knowledge is so wide. His understanding of gg. He's talking to you, Joe Hogan. Joe Hogan, I'm about to pass your guard like he's talking shit to you. Does whatever he wants, but smooth and slow. And because of that, he does not get hurt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, he's had a few injuries over the year, but when it taught when you, you deal with like high level black belts who roll on a consistent basis. And Jean Jacques in his 50s now, he is not hurt. He's still, like, looks fantastic. He's like, filled with energy. Trains all the time.

[B]

Yeah, sometimes I'll train, I'll train.

[A]

You can't do that ape. That you did when you were 23, like, wrestler.

[B]

I don't get, I don't get hurt when I'm rolling with somebody who's really good. Yeah, fuck that.

[A]

Yeah, you can't be that guy. You gotta, like, you know, you gotta move slow. Yeah, slow and strong.

[B]

I like to talk shit to guys who are way better. That's fine.

[A]

You gotta be flexible. That's the other thing. You gotta really work on your stretching and your flexibility. You have to maintain your mobility. I was watching Armand Sarukian, who's fighting Islam Makhachev for the lightweight title next weekend, and he was doing this mobility and flexibility routine. You're like, this is insane. He's so jacked and so mobile. Like, more than I think anybody I've ever seen.

[B]

Well, part of that also, I think that one of the people don't talk about this. I think the Dagestani is the Russians. Like Murab. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[A]

That's the dude who's fighting for the lightweight title. And by the way, they fought a few years back and it was, God.

[B]

Damn, dude, I thought I was. I thought I was straight this whole time.

[A]

God damn, that dude isn't even flexing right there.

[B]

That's a good looking man. I mean, that's a strong man is what I meant.

[A]

Good looking and strong. You're correct on both.

[B]

Jesus, what a monster.

[A]

Yeah, homeboys.

[B]

Well that by the way, his coach is a gold medalist. I think his coach is a gold medalist Olympic wrestler. Here's the thing about those guys. I think one of their advantages that nobody talks about is that when you get a guy like Khabib, you get these Dagestanis, you get these Russians, these Armenians and stuff. They've been training probably since they were six. Yeah. And so what happens is your tendons and everything gets really, really strong. And also if you ever watch like Alexander Karelan, the way they would warm up, those guys like Corella could do a backflip, go splits and all that. Those guys, the way they warm up was. It was scientific.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And, and so because they knew that the micro damage that happens and so they would, they would strengthen all the connective tissue first. And I think a lot of times like guys like Marad, guys like Nurma Umar, since they've been training so long, their bodies are different, they feel different, they are different, they're more rugged. So they don't get injured, they don't deal with injuries. Then one of the biggest things that is hard for a lot of guys.

[A]

They all get injured.

[B]

They might get injured. I think they get injured less. They probably or they train differently.

[A]

You're definitely right that their bodies are stronger because they've been doing it since they were younger and that they get developed in that way. But they're all the. The opposite is true with striking. Like not the opposite, but it's also true with striking that if you start striking when you're in your 30s, you're never going to catch Floyd Mayweather.

[B]

Never. You just, you need that radar.

[A]

Well, you need that. Your body needs to be sort of like developed to strike.

[B]

Yeah. But you also have to be like if you look at the boxers, like if you look Floyd Mayweather, his father and his uncle said to him like they knew they were like, like boxing is just about as much about not getting hit. Like you can be great and everything else. If your emphasis isn't on every time you throw, you got to be in a position where you're not going to get hit. Every time you step customado was that way too. Every time you throw you step right. And a huge part of that is it was all a foot game and all of that is if you haven't been trained properly as you're learning how to box, you're going to take a lot of damage. And you're fucked. You're fucked after a while. And if you look at those really good coaches, those old guys, Eddie Futch, who taught, who would teach the jab, your hand was here because instead of here you were, you were taking shots, you would be here. So if you watch him fight with Ken Norton, when he fought Ali, he said, when you fight Ali, Ali's here. When he's, when he jabs, he's doing this. I want your hand here so you can see Norton catching Ali's jab and then boom, answering back and catching Ali in the face. Those little details make like literally all the difference in whether you box five more years or if you're done five years earlier.

[A]

Well, the best example is Floyd, right? Because he got hit less than anybody ever.

[B]

I can count them on my hand.

[A]

Yeah. If you want to say, like, who's the best boxer of all time? I always say Floyd because he got hit less than anybody. And that's the whole thing. And by the way, didn't have the kind of power that any of these other guys had. Didn't have that like that Roy Jones.

[B]

When he was younger, he was a power puncher, but.

[A]

But he broke his hands about. That was part of the problem. And, but even then, like, he wasn't a robust guy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, so he wasn't German.

[B]

I mean, what's his name? Trevonte Davis or anything?

[A]

Right, right. Well, that's a great example of a guy with just preposterous power, you know? Just preposterous power. Did you see Artur Betterbeev, who is fighting Dimitri Bivol? He did a hammer workout on a tire where he hit a tire for an hour.

[B]

He did for an hour. What?

[A]

He hit a tire for an hour with a sledgehammer.

[B]

Dagestanis are made of different.

[A]

He's Chechnya, but same mountain. Chamayev. Savage people. And he's the. One of the scariest boxers of all time. The only fight that he had as a professional that went the distance is beval.

[B]

I know.

[A]

The only fight did you see when people would have. He was 19. No. With 19 knockouts. That's insane.

[B]

When you have your hands up with him, he'll still concuss you. Yeah, he hits that hard. Just basic two, like ones and twos, maybe a hook once in a while.

[A]

There's a great video where this boxer, who was, you know, world class boxer, who's a professional, got brought in to box Bitter Beef. And his coach said to him, just do your best he's like, do my best. Do my Bill. What the are you talking?

[B]

Do my.

[A]

I'm gonna this dude up and he goes and he hit me. The first time he hit me, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life. Like it was almost like my body left, left me and I was like, stand there.

[B]

That's your job, dude.

[A]

Better be of is hitting people too. Like this. Yeah, it's all short. Everything is short and it's just.

[B]

But he'll hit your arms. Power. But they'll hit your arms.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

He'll break your arms down and then by round five. Enjoy that.

[A]

Canelo does a lot of that. He does a lot of that. He smashes guys arms. I think the best box with him. Yeah, you don't want that guy punching arms. Well, I have always said that about. Look at his workouts with his wrists and fists.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is his warmup. Better be one of the craziest specimens because he's almost 40 years old too. So he had this endurance fight with bival. So it's 12 rounds of super high pace, very endurance, heavy. And he was the one that was dominating at the last round.

[B]

Correct. Correct.

[A]

That's February 22nd. I'm fucking pumped for that fight.

[B]

You're going to fight again?

[A]

Oh yeah. It's the rematch. I'm very pumped for that fight because B Valley is so goddamn good too. What he did to Canelo, like no one's ever done that. Canelo.

[B]

I think the best fighter I, I think you can make an argument for certainly top three fighters of all time is Usyk.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think he's incredible.

[A]

Incredible.

[B]

I mean I, I've watched every one of his fights. That dude is on such a different level.

[A]

He's smaller than everybody.

[B]

He's fighting giants.

[A]

Fighting giants.

[B]

When you're fighting a guy who's 60 pounds heavier with 10 ounce 12 ounce gloves, it makes such a world of.

[A]

Difference trying, especially when the guy is Anthony Joshua, you know.

[B]

But please understand, Usyk fought it, I think 75 when he started out. He's not a big guy.

[A]

He's like 225, 230. Not big. Not big.

[B]

And that's a lot of.

[A]

By the way, that was Tyson's weight when he was in his prime too. Yeah, there's something to be said for that. Because a 220 pound man like Mike Tyson can knock out any human being that's ever lived.

[B]

Yeah, you're.

[A]

The amount of power he, he can generate is insane. So then you have the speed of being only 220 pounds instead of 290, you know, or like, remember when Andy Ruiz fought Joshua the second time and he got real fat?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So sad because, like, you had a real chance of, like, carving out a legacy. The. The knockout in the first fight was huge.

[B]

He has speed. Oh, my God.

[A]

His boxing combinations are so, so fluid. He punches like a middleweight.

[B]

Is he a bronze medalist?

[A]

I don't know. I think he is. I think he did metal.

[B]

Great boxer. Very, very old boxer.

[A]

Super nice guy, too. When he came on, did the podcast, after he beat Joshua, he had a diamond encrusted watch. He came in a Rolls Royce. I was like, let's go. Let's go, Andy. Let's go. I like it.

[B]

We got to get you an accountant, though.

[A]

Don't spend too much money and probably don't get to 280 pounds. The problem is then all of a sudden you're a superstar and you're partying and you're having cervezas and hanging with the boys.

[B]

I think there's also. You've got to. You've got to take the responsibility out of being a champion. It's hard to hold that. It's one thing, it's like starting a business. You can get. You can get people to know about your business. It's running a business is very different. A little bit like you get in.

[A]

The belt, staying champ, maintaining champion. I remember Matt Hughes, when BJ Penn beat him, he told me, he goes, honestly, Joe, it's a weight off my back.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I was like, really? And I was like, it makes sense, though, because he was just smashing everybody and he was the person that everyone was chasing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like got a way on your psyche.

[B]

That's why Jon Jones to me is.

[A]

Just, what is this, Jamie? He didn't win. He didn't win in the qualification tournaments for the Olympics.

[B]

Oh, he didn't go to the Olympics.

[A]

Okay, okay. But he did win a bunch of other stuff. He represented Mexico in the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games qualification tournaments, losing to, oh, Cuba. Cuba, man.

[B]

You ever watch how old fast train The Cubans are amazing because they don't hit mitts like you'll have a guy and they just move and move and moving and once in a while, the coach will lift a glove about one shot, you know, move and move.

[A]

It's all where it is.

[B]

It's all footwork. You throw one punch, you know, they like.

[A]

The Russians developed a very technical and very technique oriented way of combat sports. It's why the Russians were so good at Olympics, at wrestling rather, because they were so technical where the Americans would just try to work harder than everybody else. And the Russians, like, figured out like, no, there's a time you work hard and there's a time you recover and you have to have active recovery. And they got real scientific about their physical training. Real. Like Dan Gable, when he did the podcast, was explaining to me how he learned sauna from the Eastern block people.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, really. They started incorporating sauna. He's like, this is another added element that raises your endurance.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because they would train hard. And then after training, you sit in that sauna for 20 minutes at 190 degrees, man, your heart is hammering. So you're getting static cardio. Also, it has an EPO like effect where it's like a mild dose of epo. It raises your red blood cells.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. My endurance is raised significantly when I started doing some.

[B]

What about cold plunges? That's controversial still, right?

[A]

Well, cold plunges is not controversial in terms of the way it makes you feel. Okay, so the psychological benefits of the increase in dopamine levels and norepinephrine, that is 100% established. I think that is one of the most powerful aspects of the cold plunge. Also what's been established is that when you do the cold plunge before exercise, it raises testosterone. So there's something about doing the cold plunge and then forcing your body to heat up through a warm up and then going through your workout that raises testosterone for people. And there was a study that was done where it showed this guy went from having an extremely low testosterone level to having a testosterone level where his doctor thought he was juicing. All he changed was he started doing cold plunge.

[B]

Putting your body under stress.

[A]

Put your body under stress. It's not good after workout.

[B]

Really?

[A]

No, because you want hypertrophy and you want muscles to grow and strengthen. And part of that growth and strengthening is inflammation. So that inflammation is actually good. Heat, on the other hand, is good after workouts. So it's good for the effect of. It raises your red blood pressure.

[B]

So that's interesting. So Dan Gable said he would do a sauna after working out because it raised his endurance.

[A]

Yes, it raises your endurance. And the Eastern Block athletes already knew that Fedor was famous for using sauna. Yeah. Fedorf would use sauna and cold plunge. So they use hot and cold therapy. So Huberman recommends doing that once a week. And what you do is you go back and forth and back and forth, forth. You Always finish on cold though. Always allow your body to reheat itself up. Don't finish on sauna. So you would do cold plunge or sauna cold plunge. Sauna, cold plunge. However many cycles you want to do it. But he said that raises your human growth hormone level.

[B]

The Swedes do that. I did that in Sweden where I was with all these Vikings. It's so funny.

[A]

Well, the Finnish studies on sauna are amazing. What it's shown, These are long term studies over 20 years. It shows that people who took the sauna four days a week for 20 minutes at a time at 175 degrees had a 40% decrease in all cause mortality compared to their peers. 40% decrease in all cause mortality. Heart attack, stroke, cancer. 40% decrease. Because the heat shock proteins, the stress on your body, it makes you more resilient, it makes you more. More vibrant. You have more energy and you have less inflammation after it's over.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Your body produces those heat shock proteins. You feel amazing when you get out, you feel loose and relaxed.

[B]

You have a sauna here?

[A]

I have a sauna everywhere. I don't. I don't around, dude. I even have a portable sauna that I bring with me. It's like a blanket sauna. That's one of our sponsors. What's that called?

[B]

I'll hug you.

[A]

What's that blanket sponsor sauna called? Find that sucker.

[B]

I have to pee.

[A]

It's really good. You gotta pee? Yeah, Pee right now. We'll pee right now. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.

[B]

There's a scene in a book called Blood Meridian where the guy chops a dude's head off with that fucking knife. Let me see that bony knife.

[A]

Who gave me this? Someone cool.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Don't fucking ruin it for everybody.

[B]

I mean, that's a knife. I don't know what you do with this. If you were. If you had to.

[A]

Nothing good.

[B]

Clear brush.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Nothing brush.

[A]

Clearing knife, son.

[B]

What is this? It's a hacking knife.

[A]

Yeah, who gave me that?

[B]

It's when. It's when you're. You're coming in and you want to just clear it. Clear house.

[A]

No, you're an asshole. And you have a giant knife on your table. That's what it's for.

[B]

What's the knife for? Just in case, bro.

[A]

When the president came, they had to take those axes off the wall.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. When trucks went crazy, I might go crazy and grab one of those and impale them in the forehead.

[B]

Those axes look like they actually would Work, too.

[A]

Oh, those are real. Those are the Jack Carr tomahawks.

[B]

They. They look like you can throw them.

[A]

Well, I don't think you throw them. I think you're.

[B]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Oh, you heard me.

[A]

Put that away. You're making me uncomfortable, buddy. Yeah, I was gonna grab it by the blade.

[B]

Something aggressive about a knife.

[A]

That's very aggressive. This is a very aggressive.

[B]

Yeah, that's a ridiculous knife. That's like little. That's overkill.

[A]

Do we know who gave it to me?

[B]

That's like somebody. If somebody wears that on their belt, I'm like, your dick is tiny. That's incredible.

[A]

Or you're. You're a complete psycho.

[B]

Or you're a psycho.

[A]

Or you're living in downtown Los Angeles right now.

[B]

That's right. That's right.

[A]

That's what's going to be really crazy.

[B]

Well, I. I want to see what happens, because I think, first of all, rents are going to go through the roof. This is going to be crazy. There is a major. It's a major housing shortage. This is a major problem.

[A]

Where are you going to live? Where all those people in the Palisades going to go? There's thousands and thousands. They have to find them houses.

[B]

I think people who own. I'll tell you what's going to happen. I think. I think people that own houses that are not in fire zones, even if they're small, are going to sell their houses for millions of dollars because you got those very wealthy people going, I need a place. Name a price, and your house might be worth $2 million. You're gonna sell it for four.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And that's what's gonna happen. I really don't.

[A]

It's gonna be even more fucked.

[B]

It's gonna be completely fucked. And remember, you know, Los Angeles has been the worst at. The worst at building affordable housing or just housing in general. All the permitting. You got to go through all the red tape. They can't do it. There's. There's so many issues. There's so many issues, but especially housing. Especially. We have. What is it? I think poverty rate in Los Angeles is, like, second to none. The schools are terrible. The homeless situation is, I think, the second.

[A]

But, hey, it's sunny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People are really pretty.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot of TikTok stars there.

[B]

There's a lot of TikTok stars. And that's. That's good for our culture. That's good for our culture.

[A]

What was the name of that sauna blanket again? Spell it. Bond Charge.

[B]

It's a blanket.

[A]

Yeah, it's a blanket. Yeah. You could carry it with you when you go on vacation and sauna. The out of yourself anywhere you go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I'm not doing that. But I appreciate it.

[A]

It's. I live by sauna, man. If I had to choose between one thing that I eliminated. Yeah. If I had to take cold plunge or sauna, I would take sauna all day. I think cold plunge is very important, and it's really good for just my mental state. I just like that I force myself to get in there. I like it. I win. Every day, I win.

[B]

Well, I said to you when you signed that deal, I go, you. I say this people about you. You've not changed, even a little bit. Well, if anything, you've calmed down. You have peace of mind, but you've not changed as like, in terms of like, you know, you become a very powerful, influential person. But I've never. I haven't seen you change. I haven't seen you. Like, it hasn't gone to your head. I said, why? And you go, I think it's because I do something really difficult every day, and it just reminds me of what a I am.

[A]

Yeah. I write myself down every day.

[B]

I think that's important.

[A]

I think it's everything because I think mental health is attached to that. I think too many people have too much anxiety and too much, like, success can do that feel. Yeah. Well, the pressure. And also, I don't read comments, which is huge, you know, because a lot of people out there reading comments, and they're one comment. I was talking to Zuck about that yesterday. I'm like, you gotta stop reading comments.

[B]

Yeah, I'll tell them to stop. Yeah, it's so bad for you comments.

[A]

It's so bad for you.

[B]

I've never read one fight, especially good ones. I don't want to hear. Yeah, because it's gonna have power over me.

[A]

I don't want to. I appreciate them. I appreciate people, even the bad comments. I get it. Look, you know, if I was 15, I would be the worst poster on Twitter of all time. I'd be a total troll. I'd be on 4chan. I'd be on all those things. I'd be talking mad shit all day long.

[B]

Yeah. You know that kid Matam, he says that kid, the Israeli kid who's like 17 years old and a complete troll. I did his podcast. It was so fun. But he's just like that. Those kids at that age, they are about just. There's no reverence. To anything. No, they want to tear it all down.

[A]

They want to tear it all down also. It's all about making a living, getting eyeballs on you. Yeah, right. That's what their, their business is, eyeballs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if they can slap someone at a supermarket or, you know, fucking scare someone in line at the grocery store or whatever the. They do to get attention. Yeah, that's their currency. Their currency is attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you beat their ass, it's actually good for them.

[B]

That's right. There's no. There's no.

[A]

Which is really crazy.

[B]

Yeah. It's just a different.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, different time. It's the end of Rome.

[B]

It's the end of Rome.

[A]

It's the collapse of, of. Of a really sick civilization. And you know the thing that you're seeing, like, with this whole, like, woke fire department, which is we're talking about that lady saying, if your husband's in that burning building, like, that they want someone who looks like me, who like, like looks like them. Like, that's not what they want. This is, but this, this is all like this ideological, like, bizarre culture that these people have fallen into that leads to the collapse of great civilizations. Because the people that worked hard to make this, like, very easy life, those people don't get respected. And then the people that you think are the marginalized people that should be elevated through equity, these people that haven't done anything, now you're giving them all the power.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're also letting them be the bullies of the bullies now. Right. So they got picked on their whole life. Now they're, we're. We're kicking ass now we get things done. I mean, it was Pride magazine in the, whatever website. I'll send you this because it's real. See, like, see if you could find that, Jamie, so I don't have to look for it. But the, the, the headline said the LBGT fire chief is showing that she can get things done.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. This is in the middle of the biggest disaster in the history of Los Angeles. But saying that she can get it done shows she can get it done. Like, what is get it done?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Run out of water, Collapse society. What does it mean?

[B]

I don't know if that. The blame lays in the fire department, by the way, here, I think. You watch, I'm gonna make a prediction. I bet you it's already happening. I promise you that the progressive government, government in Los Angeles and in Sacramento is going to blame not infrastructure, not government, incompetence not mismanagement, but climate change. I promise.

[A]

Well, good luck with that. Good luck with. Here it is. Amid Palisades fire, Los Angeles first LBGTQ plus fire chief is proving lesbians get it done. Excuse me. Lesbians get it dead. Not she gets it done. It's even dumber than I thought. She's proving less.

[B]

Her sexual proclivity is really what makes it so.

[A]

What does that mean? Like Elon Musk is proving heterosexuals build rockets? Is that what that means?

[B]

It's just identity politics.

[A]

It's not nonsense. It's nonsense. People writing nonsense things. It's so placing.

[B]

It's placing a group above an individual. Right. So treat that person like an individual. I don't give a. That she's into women. I don't care at all if she's great. If she's competent, I'll. I'll vote for her all day. I don't know if she is. I, I don't know enough about her.

[A]

You can call it climate change because LA has been like that forever. The reason why they filmed in LA in the first place, because LA doesn't have rain.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

That's why they started Hollywood down there.

[B]

Until what happened? It got too expensive to do business, got too expensive to shoot in la. Taxes and everything else. It got too expensive. It is too expensive to open restaurants or anything else in la. So you've got this great, this great sandwich chain I, I'm obsessed with called Snark. Right. I like, just like they're. I think they have one in Austin.

[A]

Yeah. You brought them here?

[B]

I love.

[A]

What do you mean you think you have. They brought them?

[B]

Yeah, I brought them here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love their sandwiches, dude. And, and you know, that company is so good that I, I literally was. I want to get involved in the franchise business because I think it's, it's a, it's. They're crushing and I. And they will not open in, in Los Angeles. It's too expensive. There are too many. A friend of mine who you both, you and I both know has businesses in Texas and businesses in Los Angeles and a lot of them. Okay, I'll tell you who it is later.

[A]

Oh, I love a suspense.

[B]

So in his California businesses, he's been sued over 1000 times. I think it's 1002 times. 1002 times. In the 18 years he's been in business in Texas, he's been sued once. Once. And, and in that case, they were right to sue them because they did something wrong. And it's Pretty interesting because there's literally a difference in culture. There's a difference in the notion of I'm responsible for my actions, somebody else is responsible for the state I'm in. And that is a mind virus that has taken over Los Angeles, taken over California, in my opinion. A lot of this is just mindset. And I think it's very ironic, with all due respect, because I have a lot of friends who lost house houses in the Palisades area and everything else. But. And I. And I. If you had walked through the Palisades, you would have seen a lot. Most of them voted for Karen Bass. I'm not saying Karen Bass deserves all this blame, but I'm saying there was a lot of Kamala stuff there. The very, very little choice stuff. And it's ironic to me because I do think to an extent, without having done enough research, but I've done some, that you have to lay at least some of the blame for this total inability to respond to government mismanagement and the fact that this government, this progressive government in California, in Sacramento, in Los Angeles, put things like climate change and social justice ahead of fucking basic infrastructure. Basic infrastructure. You knew that they were predicting and they knew how dry this season was. Fucking eight months without rain. Okay, guys, so we need to figure out. There is a way to solve every problem. You gotta. If you do, you need an army of firefighters. They cut. They cancel 17. I know it cut 17.

[A]

$17.6 million from the fire budget in Los Angeles. Wasn't it 17? Or was it $17.6 million?

[B]

There you go.

[A]

That's what I read. See if that's true.

[B]

I thought it was percent. But maybe.

[A]

I think it's 17.6. Maybe that's what it turned out. Million. But it's a thing.

[B]

I don't know what that means.

[A]

It might be 7%. It might be. They have 100 million dollar budget and they cut it down to 7. Either way, by the way, obviously, $800 million or something crazy. Yeah, that's the whole budget. Yeah, it's a lot. So they only cut 17 million out of 800. But still, why would you cut anything out of one of the most important things? Obviously, now you know. Now you know. That was a huge mistake. Well, now you know. You should have increased the budget.

[B]

Well, to your, to your point, this was a perfect storm to an extent. And there's a limit to what any fire department can do. There's a limit. Right. We live in Los Angeles. Fires are a reality. Earthquakes are a reality. Mudslides are a reality. We know this. California is a tough place to live. It's great, but there are a lot of liabilities. I just think if you know that that's the case, something went wrong. And our infrastructure, the fact that our fire hydrants, and it happened in Colorado three years ago, but the fact that the fire hydrants, loss pressure, you can predict these things, right?

[A]

Well, again, I bring it back to Trump because Trump was saying that this all could be solved. And he was right. What he was saying is true and that they are doing it to protect a fucking smelt that exists. The delta smelt that exists other places.

[B]

I love the delta smelt. I don't. What does that thing look like? Let me see what a delta smelt looks like.

[A]

I don't give a fuck about those things. Neither do I. Yeah. 17 million last year she directed more for 2023, 2024 fiscal year Los Angeles allocated 837 million to Los Angeles Los Fire Department accounting for roughly 65% of the $1.3 billion budget designated for homelessness initiatives, which didn't work.

[B]

What?

[A]

65% for homelessness initiatives didn't work. Roughly half the budget for homelessness went unspent. These motherfuckers.

[B]

And let me say something else about that, the homeless thing too. You talk to progressives about the homeless thing, you know what they'll say? It's a housing shortage. No, it's not. It's a drug and mental health problem.

[A]

Housing, housing, Housing.

[B]

Yeah, sorry. Housing.

[A]

Housing, housing. And we can't fix it.

[B]

It's a mental health.

[A]

We need more money. They spent $24 billion last year. 24 billion homeless California industrial complex. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a bunch of people making money off of non profits.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so there's. There's a vested interest in keeping homeless a problem.

[A]

Yeah. The real problem is that there's homeless at all. Like, how is that possible in the greatest society the world's ever known? But because we've put very little effort into stopping it. Very little effort into education and fixing people's mental health problems and mental health institutions for people that are sick and twisted and real solutions like ibogaine, real things that they can do to sort of reset people's minds and help them get out of it. Real programs to help people integrate back into society. I know a guy who, in a.

[B]

Meaningful way, one guy who was dealing with real demons and he did one session of ibogaine and it changed everything.

[A]

Yeah, well, there's a lot of people like that. I had the former governor of Texas, Rick Perry on, and he was explaining it.

[B]

And that's surprising that Rick Perry, who's, you know, a Texas conservative.

[A]

Yep, yep. Was very reluctant. And then he knew someone who came back from the war and was suffering and, you know, he got involved and.

[B]

Repairs the neural pathways or something like that.

[A]

Yeah, it helps people with parking. Parkinson's disease. Wow. Really crazy. Completely rewires the brain of addicted people, stops the pathways, gives you an insight as to why you're addicted in the first place. Like what little weird fucking patterns you have in your head. What are you escaping when you're trying to, like, load up on heroin? It's crazy, but it's illegal. This is the nuttiest part of it. And this is the beautiful thing about what Rick Perry's trying to do and explaining it very eloquently that it was all established in the 1970s to combat Richard Nixon's political opponents. So the anti war movement, the civil rights movement, they made all those drugs illegal. The Sweeping act of 1970, the Psychedelic Drug act, where they were just trying to demonize these things that these people were using. That was like, you know, the flower child movement, the hippies, the anti war people. They're like, we need to figure out a way to lock these up.

[B]

Well, they did a really interesting study on. Or there was a guy journalist I. Cameron was talking about. They. They drew this comparison when the 60s music movement happened with Hendrix and all those guys when they were taking psychedelics, incredible things were going on musically.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Once they turned to cocaine and heroin, the 80s fucking died. Hair. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I was bringing it back to cars, you know, because I'm a car freak. The cars of the 1960s were the greatest cars America has ever created in terms of the way they looked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The iconic view, the. The image of those things. And it all died around 70, 71. Everything after 71 is a piece of why. Except a few Corvettes look cool, but because they. They needed to become, first of all. Then there's the gas crisis. So cars started becoming less powerful and more economical. And then they started making them out of plastic and they just look like shit. And then they weren't doing the drugs anymore, so the design sucked. If you go back to design, like one of the classics that I always put out, like, let's look at a 1969 Boss Mustang. So this is.

[B]

Bring that up.

[A]

Acid, marijuana, whatever. These people that were designing these cars were like freaks. They were weirdos.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, because they Were artists. And they designed these things that just to this day, you look at them, you go, look at that.

[B]

Yeah, look at that.

[A]

That's the. That's the reason why John Wick killed everybody. That's it is. They stole his car. They killed his puppy and they stole that car. And John Wick killed everybody. That is a work of art.

[B]

Whiplash Engine cross.

[A]

God damn. That's a work of art.

[B]

That was safe.

[A]

One of the most beautiful things human beings. The Sistine Chapel. That's one of the most beautiful things human beings have ever created. Look at that.

[B]

Is that a catalytic convertible carburetor?

[A]

Shut your mouth about that. This is Texas. Pull all that stuff out and roll. Roll coal.

[B]

Right on the highway. It gets like a block a gallon.

[A]

Yeah. My. Wow. My raptor. My Hennessy Raptor. That has a thousand horsepower. I get nine miles to the gallon. Suck my dick. Look at that thing. That is a different one. That's a. That's a. Yeah. That's a classic restoration. Does nothing for classic recreations. Does a resto mod version of it. But that's like the. Right. From the factory version. Both of them are gorgeous.

[B]

Come in electric.

[A]

They do make them in electric, honestly. Yeah. There's a company that takes old cars, I guess. Well, a lot of people have a problem with it. Everati does it.

[B]

I like this. I like the old Aston Martins. Those are cool.

[A]

Gorgeous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pull up. Everardi Everett is a company that takes old Porsches and they do old Mustangs and they convert them and make them fully electric.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And. But they look really cool. But you're missing the whole point.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

The whole point is it's feel the road. It's a work of art. It's a mechanical experience.

[B]

I drove a 1985 Porsche Targa O. Dude.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It's a stick shift.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What a beautiful car. You feel everything, but God damn, it's beautiful. I. I mean, you just zipping, you know.

[A]

Well, it's so light too. It's so engaging.

[B]

That's a great car.

[A]

Oh, my God. Those are the best.

[B]

That's the only time I've driven a car. And I went, I get it. Like, I've never been into cars. I drive a. I drive a Tesla 3 with white interior, white exterior. I wanted to gay as. I wanted to be as gay as I could.

[A]

It's still an incredible car. So they do a bunch of different stuff. So let's go. The 1990 Porsche 9119646 Signature. So look at that. So they take this 964 Porsche which is one of the most beautiful years and they turned it into this insane electric beast.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah. Incredible car, man. I mean sub 00 to 60, sub 4 seconds I drove beautiful. It looks too.

[B]

New electric Porsche, which is.

[A]

But look at the range. Up to 200 miles. Shut the up with that range. That range is nonsense sense. Up to 200 miles is when you're driving really slow.

[B]

It's 100 miles.

[A]

But I bet that thing is super sick to drive. And God damn it looks beautiful. But wouldn't it be better if it went when you started it up?

[B]

I think it should be.

[A]

You want to hear that? Yeah. You want to feel the engagement of the clutch. You want to pull the gear lever down in a second. You want to let off the clutch and hit the gas. You like the way that feel it. I. I like what they're doing. I think it's cool. Whatever. I'd rather I'd take that car and I gut it. I got it and put a real engine in it. It looks beautiful.

[B]

But what can I pick one of those up for like a regular car? A regular one 964.

[A]

You. There's a bunch of different companies. There's a company called Not.

[B]

Not electric.

[A]

No, no, no, no. A regular one. There's a company that specializes in air cooled Porsches. Go to Sloan. What's Air Sloan? That's those. The old ones. The ones that you drove. The one, that 1980s one. That's a. That's an air cooled one. The old ones are the ones that. Yeah, that's it. So this place specializes in Porsches, but particularly air cooled Porsches. They've got a lot of air. Cool. Go. Click on like available cars. So inventory. Go to inventory.

[B]

That's nice too.

[A]

So a lot of these are the expensive, more modern ones like the 1963 like click on that one. 84911 Carrera. Look at that. 26000 original miles.

[B]

That's a gorgeous.

[A]

Oh dude. That's a joy to drive.

[B]

Yeah, it's beautiful.

[A]

That car is a joy to drive. Look how fat. Oh, it's gotta be very expensive with such low miles. That thing's probably meticulously maintained. It looks incredible.

[B]

So you're not picking that thing up.

[A]

No, no, no. That's an expensive car. And by the way, not very fast. It's not fast. That's not. You're missing the point.

[B]

But it's the handling.

[A]

It's the, it's the feel. It's the experience of driving. It is so analog. It probably doesn't even have power steering.

[B]

It's brand new.

[A]

Oh, it's basically brand new. Whoever. So you think that that's amazing. They probably sell that for a couple hundred thousand dollars.

[B]

A couple hundred?

[A]

Yeah. At least.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I would imagine. I mean, it says contact us for pricing, but if you want to get one like that, a stellar model with 20s look, if you get a 911 from 1970, like a 911 RS, a good example is a million dollars.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, Jesus.

[A]

Google 911. 1971911 RS Immaculate for sale. I guarantee you they're over a million dollars. Yeah.

[B]

Because they're just your.

[A]

Your Model 3 will blow that thing away in every way. Shape, of course, handling speed. Especially if you have the Model 3 performance.

[B]

I like my car so much. I like the test. They just go so easy.

[A]

They make every other car seems stupid. I know, but it's a different experience than driving that thing. That thing is an amusement park ride.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that thing is a.

[B]

That's like grinding your own coffee. It's something about it. Like there's a manual sensation. There's a tactile. There's a tactile sensation.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lighting your own fire on the grill and cooking over hardwood coals.

[B]

I think there's a huge, huge value to that. Like cooking.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Like the, The. The. The fact that it takes. You take time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To get good at something. Like cooking the perfect beef stew or.

[A]

Whatever the it is. Oh, yeah. Especially if you're cooking over fire. It brings you this caveman DNA smell of your wood. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It makes the food taste good.

[B]

Convenience and abundance comes with a price like everything else. Sometimes that's a lack of connection. Sometimes just the. The actual process of doing shit. Like the actual process of preparation. All that is a form of flow that you get into.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's a great book called Beyond Boredom Anxiety by Shiksin Miha. I don't know what the fuck his name is. He's like this Hungarian science. He compares the flow state the rock climbers, surgeons, painters and conductors get into. And. And it's all very similar because it takes incredible concentration when you're rock climbing.

[A]

I bet the rock climbers look at the painters. Like you are not in the same flow state as you.

[B]

It's very. No, they're not. Because it's life and death. Right.

[A]

Cool site that shows the average sales like it's a stock almost. So five have been sold for an average of $78,000.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Isn't that crazy? My Lord, that's crazy. That's 2.5 million. 2.5 million for that one. Click on that. Can you click on that?

[B]

So I got to sell a couple more tickets. Stand up.

[A]

Let me see what it looks like. There it is. Let's see if we could find it. God. By the way, it's a lot of that is like a dick measuring contest like that. I have a pristine model.

[B]

Yeah, they don't drive it.

[A]

This is like a Jerry Seinfeld type vehicle. Like he would. He would own one of those. Yeah, I have a 1993 RS America. It's a 964. I know you've seen it. That little red Porsche that I have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No manual or no power steering, no air conditioning, no nothing. It doesn't have a radio. It doesn't have jack.

[B]

Raw.

[A]

It's so raw. It's so raw. It's, it's. It's raw and rowdy. It sounds loud. You feel everything. Every time I drive it, I'm like, why don't I drive?

[B]

Do you remember when I used to have that, that Bronco?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

1971 with a 350 Windsor. Whatever the it was. I don't know. Carburetor.

[A]

I remember you came to my house, dude.

[B]

I would get dizzy on the highway from the gas dudes, and it had no time, dude. I thought I was gonna pass out. I was like. I went to the mechanic. I think I'm gonna pass out. I was all panicked, you know. He goes, it's just the way it is. I go, what do you mean it's the way it is?

[A]

You're dying slowly, but you're living.

[B]

Sold that thing for 500 bucks or something. I don't know. I was like, get away from me.

[A]

I was so happy when you bought it. I like when you get irrational. I want you to be more irrational. I think it's good for you.

[B]

How's that with dogs too?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, is it a fighting dog? Really Fresh out of the box.

[A]

Yeah. Let's get it. I think that a little bit of irrationality for comedians is very good for you.

[B]

100.

[A]

I think it's pretty irrational. You gotta have a little bit of fun in you. There's a fun auction coming up in a month. Oh, yeah, these are for sale. Coming from Paris. Oh, that Alfa Romeo, that little thing like there. That Little Alfa Romeo 1965. I guarantee you that's fun as to drive too. It looks shitty But I'm telling you, you feel every bump on the road through your ass. Yeah, I never got into those 3, 5, 6 Porsches. Yeah, I think those look like a VW Bug. They look stupid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But that right to the right of it, the 92 RS.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

That's what I have. Yeah, I have one of those with a ducktail. Ever read one with a ducktail? I love it. Yeah, I love it.

[B]

Well, you know what it is? They're per. They have a personality. There's something about getting into my. I had a girlfriend who had a vintage Mercedes and I swear to God I got attached to that car. It felt like an experience. I would get in there and I, I, I. It had a personality almost. It was like 100, you know what I mean? Because somebody had made that, somebody had taken the time. A lot of that shit's made by hand, I think.

[A]

Well, they're definitely put together by hand. Yeah, yeah. I mean especially back then.

[B]

But considered by craftsmen, like when something's really considered by craftsmen and, and you can't. You cannot replace the feel of like something that's been crafted.

[A]

1970. Look at that, son. Oh my goodness. That's a beautiful piece of machinery.

[B]

It's an artistic, it's an expression of artistry.

[A]

Man, that is such a gorgeous car. Yeah, that is beautiful.

[B]

That's European, brother.

[A]

And it's so light. Those cars are so light. Dude. That's like a 2,000 pound car.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're.

[A]

They're so little. Yeah. When you're near them, they're so little.

[B]

You know how much? My three ways? Almost £6,000.

[A]

Oh, they're very crazy. They up those borders. What are they called? The, the rails? Guardrails. They go right through those things because they're too heavy, dude.

[B]

My God.

[A]

For regular sized car.

[B]

I didn't know that guy.

[A]

Gorgeous. That is. Look at that damn thing, man. God, it's so beautiful.

[B]

Fire extinguisher, guys.

[A]

That guy maintained that. Yeah, that guy knows how to drive, I bet. Look at that steering wheel. Restoration in 2003. I picture myself 2003 restoration in a tweed coat. Oh, it's so gorgeous. I bet that's 150, 000. How much is that? Yeah, it's going to be auctioned and I've given them away for a €180. 180 years. So more so €180 is like 200 and something thousand. Which makes sense. It's beautiful, man. And they don't make them anymore. You know, if you want one of those? And when you drive it, I guarantee you have a smile. You'll have a smile on your face. It only has 180 horsepower.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Yeah, they're not, they're not fast.

[B]

No.

[A]

Even mine has 300. Mine only has three horses and I had it juiced up a little bit to get to 300.

[B]

I was gonna say. Yeah, that must give you worms.

[A]

It's not fast. Not fast, no, no. But it doesn't matter. It's just fun. It's engaging.

[B]

You are used to like big trucks too though. You like the Denali's and stuff? Oh yeah.

[A]

Well, I have the Raptor. Yeah, it was a Hennessy Raptor. I still have. You know why? I like to see what's going on over there. I don't want to be at the same height as the cars. When someone slams on the brake. You can't see what's going on. Well, up here you can see someone doing something stupid like five cars ahead. You're like, oh, Jesus. And you.

[B]

It's safer, way safer.

[A]

To be in a lifted truck is safer. You see things more 100. That is very important. Yeah, it's very important. Like you, the elevated viewpoint for a safety perspective is important, right? Yeah. And you get used to that. You like it a lot.

[B]

That's the kind of car you take out on a countryside like.

[A]

Oh yeah, man.

[B]

And you wear a scarf, you wear gloves, gloves, scarf. And you wear the glasses. I want to be European so badly sometimes. And you're in your lady's doing this. You're going too fast.

[A]

Yeah, you don't go with a girl. Go by yourself.

[B]

By yourself.

[A]

Yeah, you don't go with a girl.

[B]

Really?

[A]

You don't want to hear that. Shut the. She's saying it in French, bro. That's different. That's hot. Well, that's. That's preposterous. That's a four million dollar car. That's a Pagani. Well, I mean, I don't even know how to say that. How do you say that?

[B]

It looks like a fucking. It looks like an arachnoid.

[A]

That's a monstrous vehicle.

[B]

Yeah, but it's also ridiculous. I mean, does it come with a hundred fifty horsepower?

[A]

Here's the thing. That's all great, that's all fast, but that can't fuck with a new Corvette. Yeah, it's a track car. For sure it's a track car, but it's not even as good as a track car, as a new Corvette. The new Corvette ZR1 is one of the greatest cars the world has ever built is over a thousand horsepower. A thousand. Over a thousand horsepower for the new Corvette ZR1. It does 0 to 60 and under 3 seconds. It's gonna break all the records. It's probably gonna break Nurburgring records. It hasn't even been released yet. It's a amazing car. It's the greatest American car Because it's just reliability.

[B]

Everything or what?

[A]

Everything. They're reliable. They're fucking incredible looking. They look like an exotic car. This is the new ZR1. Does it have volume? Can we hear what it sounds like? Hi, I'm Brad Frowns from Chevrolet marketing. Brad, you knocked it out of the park.

[B]

Brad.

[A]

This is an amazing vehicle. This vehicle is faster. Handles better than that stupid five billion dollar car. That thing's. This. That's America. Yeah. In a car.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean it's so stupid. How could you go to a dealership? Look at that. Carbon fiber wheels. How can you go to a dealership and buy a 1100 horsepower car?

[B]

Insane.

[A]

Look at. With a giant swing on the back of it. It shouldn't be but it is. And that's why it's America.

[B]

And is that.

[A]

Look at that thing. Is that drag to rotate.

[B]

Is that fin that was on there necessary? Yes.

[A]

Yes. Because you want to look like an.

[B]

That looks great.

[A]

Yeah. You can get it without the fan.

[B]

Because you want to look like an asshole. Yeah, that looks good.

[A]

The. It's downforce. It gives you more downforce so it'll slow your top end speed. So the high end speed will be like 205 miles an hour instead of 215 or whatever. The.

[B]

I like that. That's a good look right there. It's a gorgeous stupid.

[A]

That is a beautiful machine.

[B]

Does the fin come up or something or.

[A]

Well no, it's just down for. It's adjustable but it's downforce for the track.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I like that Is an amazing car for the track.

[B]

That's a good looking car.

[A]

And they make them in a convertible chicken. The convertible.

[B]

Well they're not. They probably. They won't break your bank. Probably. Right. Are they very expensive?

[A]

It's about 200 grand. Before you know mark up and all that other jazz. I think it's 17 2.3 seconds 0 to 69. Second quarter mile right from the factory. That's what you need. That's what you need. Count. You do it your special kicks it and you start selling out giant theaters.

[B]

Dude. Let's go baby.

[A]

Let's get a little in your Life that's running away from looters.

[B]

Once I start selling theater tickets.

[A]

Yeah, once you get the fuck out of Los Angeles.

[B]

I know I got to do that. You've been telling me that a long time. Listen, this might be the one. I talked to my wife, but I have my other kids, so I got my. I have two families.

[A]

You know, talk them into it, too. I know they come out here, they'll. They'll realize, like, oh, my God, what the fuck?

[B]

What we doing?

[A]

What were we doing? Why? Why?

[B]

Like, me, traveling from Texas is way easier than traveling from fucking Los Angeles.

[A]

Ron White told me that in 2018, when I started thinking about Austin, Jesus, he moved here before any of us. Ron White was the original. He was the original. The Texas setup, because he was. He's from Texas. He was. I fucking love Austin. Food's great. People are nice. It's in the middle of the country. You could travel anywhere. I was like, wow, can I live in Texas? I started thinking about it, like, could I live in Texas? And then when Covid hit Ron, being here was one of the things that moved me here.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I love Ron. At least I can hang out with Ron. He's.

[B]

He's one of the greatest comics, period. I watch that motherfucker, and I'm like. And he's still doing it at his age, Killing it. How old is he?

[A]

He's a thousand years old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's better now than ever.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[A]

Better than ever.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

And he's at the club every night. He's there all the time. All the time. Killing it. Killing it.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

And just the best human being. He's just the best guy, he seems like. So when he was coming here in 2018, I was like, maybe I could go. I don't know. I can't live in. Because I had always been trying to escape LA forever. But then it's like my business was there, and the comedians were there, and the store was there, and there was, like, so many things there. It took something like Covid to make us all, like, just take this crazy chance and move to Texas.

[B]

Yeah, well, these fires. I feel like these fires are kind of almost like very much like the same thing.

[A]

Very much like the same thing. It's the same kind of experience. Hand me that bad boy.

[B]

You're gonna have one, too.

[A]

Yeah. Let's go, Ryan Calum. We're smoking cigars like men.

[B]

I like this new. This thing.

[A]

Having a guy like Ron here, though, was like, okay, well, if Ron, at least I'll Have Ron as a friend. At least it'll be. And then Tony moved here. I was like, oh, Tony's here. And then I remember one time I talked to Segura, and I was like, dude, it's awesome. I love it here. He's like, it. I'm moving. He was. He was here. Quick.

[B]

How do I open this?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, you just. Here, you can use this one. Because you're just stupid.

[B]

I'm an idiot. I'm like, I can't do. I can't figure out.

[A]

How can you can't figure things out?

[B]

Because I'm bad with that stuff, okay? That's why my wife was like, get out of here. You can't do anything. I'll take care of it. Like, raise my kids, save them, tell my story. I'll be in Austin. Sorry about the fires.

[A]

Tell them to watch your special. Tell all the kids at school to watch Daddy Special.

[B]

Watch. They watch Daddy Special. It's gonna be good. False gods. I'm excited.

[A]

You're on YouTube.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so, right?

[A]

YouTube's the move, because you get the most views, for sure. Like, look at Shane. That's awesome. You get a great set. You put a great set. And the club is the best place to film. The audiences are so hyped.

[B]

Well, that's what I thought. I was like, I'm gonna. I would rather, like, shoot it here and. Because you did that club right, man. You did that club, right? This makes such a difference, you know?

[A]

Yeah, well, a lot of it's because of Ron. If it wasn't for Ron. And then one time when we did shows, we're doing shows at the Vulcan, and Ron hadn't gone on stage, like, eight months, and he got off stage and he grabbed me by the shoulders. He goes, whatever the we gotta do, we're gonna keep doing this. He goes, you gotta open up that club. I was like, okay, I gotta open up the club. Because I was like, I gotta open up a club. You know, it's one of those things, like, I'm so busy. How am I gonna do this a lot, right? How am I gonna handle this? How am I gonna handle the stress of the business and 100 employees? And it turns out you don't have to just get really good people to run it for you.

[B]

That's it. I get a kick out of you because, I don't know, you still have, like, for this podcast, what, three people that work for you? I mean, four, but, you know, more than that.

[A]

Well, yeah, we have Brandon, our video editor. We have Matt, who books everything. Young Jamie and moi. Yeah, that's it.

[B]

My buddy is. They're gonna start podcasting. Well, we gotta get a production team. Gotta get this other.

[A]

I'm like, hey, well, you're gonna need a production team if you don't have Jamie. The thing is, Jamie's a wizard, and he's also a little bit on the spectrum. And Jamie can the good side. You're on the good side. You're on the fun side. You're, like, totally socially aware. You're fun to hang with.

[B]

Stoics. He's, like, a stoic, but Jamie's just.

[A]

On the ball and, like, his ability to pull things up while we're talking about him, while he's managing the podcast, like, no one could do that. You need, like, a team of people to do what he does. But then you got to deal with a team of people that are just, like. One of the coolest things about Jamie is how, like, first of all, we're friends, and he's the easiest to hang out with. Like, Jamie's so easy to hang out with. So doesn't matter who's in this room. There's no weirdness. Like, oh, this guy is complaining about that guy.

[B]

And he's not trying to be. He's not trying to be anything. He's not. So what happens in that position is that that's kind of a big job, right. And it'd be very easy to go. I'm part of this podcast. I'm a huge part of. He doesn't get his ego.

[A]

That's happened to a few friends of mine where they had to get rid of their producer because the producer was like, you know, we did this, and we. And he's like, hey. He pointed cameras at a comedian that was already famous. Like, cut the shit. Like, this is fucking stupid.

[B]

We all have our role. We all do our thing. Just don't get.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like, what happens with a lot of these people is they develop these podcasts, and then they have. Have. I go to my friend's podcast, and he has 10 people working for him, and I was like, what are all these people doing? What do they do? What are they doing? Like, this is crazy. Like, why you have all these people and then they have interns. I go, you have people working. You're making millions of dollars, and they're working for free. Like, I don't agree with interns.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I would never have an intern. If I had an intern, I would pay them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

100 I don't even know if you're allowed to pay certain interns because they're supposed to get like. Like, I would break the law. I'd break the law. Can you have a paid intern in a college?

[B]

Yeah. I think what happens is it builds resentment. If you're not 100, you got to be careful.

[A]

Well, that's a problem with rich people when they have assistance, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, Al Madrigal had an assistant once. He was like, yeah, I gotta get an assistant. I go, no, you don't. I go, listen to me. Do less. Just do less. If you. You need an assistant, you don't do less things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't want. They're like, I remember when David Spade had an assistant, the dude tried to duct tape him, and the guy, he Tasered him. He was gonna kill him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guy went to jail.

[B]

Henry VIII said something like that. He said, every time I promote somebody, I create. Every time I promote somebody, I create eight enemies and one ingrate. Something like that. I think that was the quote. It's great.

[A]

Yeah, but didn't he kill a bunch of his wives?

[B]

He was terrible. Henry VIII was a fucking idiot. That's a great story.

[A]

He's just a piece of shit.

[B]

You know what he did, right? He so the Catholic Church, he wanted a son, and his wife was barren, and he wanted an heir, and the Catholic Church would not codify his divorce. So he was like, okay, I'm going to start the Anglican Church. Fuck off. I'm going to start my own church. And it's going to. Okay. It's going to be okay with divorce. So he created the Anglican Church. And the great story of a man for all seasons, Sir Thomas More was. Thomas More would not join the Anglican Church, and they killed him for it. And he said, I am more than my appetites. I am more than, you know, my body. I am my principles, and my principles are higher. And I'm going to stick to the Catholic Church. Kind of like, you know, I wish.

[A]

I was his friend.

[B]

No shit, right?

[A]

Like, yo, dude, just join the other church.

[B]

Well, we all would, right?

[A]

Listen, get a lot of shit done. Okay. All right.

[B]

I was an acting class, as you remember. Remember that? And one of the. Kind of a famous actor. He did the scene. This is so great. He did the man for All Seasons. And as he, you know, so you do a scene and, you know, a lot of working actors in the class. This is Los Angeles. And we all sit back, and now the great teacher will now break it apart. And he. The Actor began to weep and they said, why are you crying? He says, because I. I'm not this man. I would have joined the Anglican Church. And it bothers me that I'm not the kind of principled man that would stick to.

[A]

At least he knows that was pretty cool. At least he's not that guy. I wish I was a Navy seal. I'd kill everybody.

[B]

Yeah, he was one of my favorite actors. Actors too. And I was like, there you go. At least you know your limitations. Yeah, never say what you do in an emergency because, you know.

[A]

So probably why he's a great actor because he was aware of everything. Of, like, the differences between him and those other people, you know?

[B]

Well, you better know you're vulnerable. Like, you walk around like a tough guy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That the real tough guys are the guys that have done a lot of. Or who've seen a lot of combat or at least been involved. And like Evan Haford, for example, has probably done a lot more than. He never talks about any of it. You'll never hear him say anything but. And for that matter, Andy Stump, Same way they don't really tell you anything, but they're very aware that, first of all, it's very easy to be killed. Very easy. I don't care how strong you are.

[A]

What you bench, a tiny child can kill you with a gun right away.

[B]

So you, you, you get a real sense. Part of what's really good about just doing combat sports or doing any kind of, like even a rough sport, contact sport, is that that you come into contact with objective reality. It's very hard to start living this fake existence. And part of the problem, I think, with our society is a lot of people controlling the narrative don't really pay a price for being wrong because they live a life and they live a job where they're working, where they're working with their mouth, they're working with only their brain. And I think that you get a lot from actually trying to grow your own food or doing whatever it is, you know, you've got to kind of come and you own a farm and you realize that life eats life and things. Everything, nature. Mother Nature is a motherfucker and wants to kill everything you try to grow. It gives you a very different perspective on reality and what the world is about.

[A]

Oh, for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's a giant problem with urban environments. That's why urban environments all get to these sort of esoteric philosophical ideas about what society would be like, because they're completely separated from the circle of life. They're buying all their food from either a restaurant or a grocery store. They're not farming, they're not doing anything. They're enjoying meat without any death.

[B]

Right. You ever see Steven Pinker's book, the Blank Slate?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

When the anthropologists can't remember their name. I think they were at Harvard and they came back from studying the Yanomami Indians or whatever in the Amazon basin. They were like, hey guys, I know you think just white Anglo Saxons are aggressive. And we have a culture that rewards male aggression. And those people have never been in contact with anybody white or western. And the guys that get laid the most are the guys that killed the most people in combat and have their hair on their daggers. So they have their version of a fucking all star quarterback too. And he gets all the pussy. And they were like, what the fuck? And they literally attacked their reputations and everything. They drove them out of academia.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Turns out that was truth.

[A]

It should be obvious. It should be obvious like that this is. There's like been a series of events that human beings have gone through that have developed this. Certain people like we, we understand. It's an understanding that certain people are better at survival. Certain people are better at being the leader. Certain people are better at warriors. Yeah.

[B]

And life takes a certain amount of aggression and competitive spirit. Or you're gonna get eaten.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. You're gonna get. Is really what happens. That's right.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

So don't. Don't you. It's great. I love that we're all, it's all utopian until your kids don't have enough to eat. And then I'm gonna kill. That's what happens. People are really kumbaya until your kids have to struggle for resources and then they become genocidal. Jared diamond, who wrote Guns, Germs and Steel, did the study with the fucking people up in the guinea highlands. The minute, the minute they, they started running out of resources, they would, they would start coming up with stories about the other tribe over there that were basically. Yeah. They eat their own kids. Yeah. They're fucking really evil. Just to whip up, just to justify what they're about to do. That other tribe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they got their stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Human beings, I mean there's beautiful things in urban environments, in society where you don't have to struggle, you don't have to do that. So you can, you can get much more involved in art, you get more finance. There's a lot of things that people can achieve when they have that sort of shelter. But There's a balance to be achieved in our society. The influence, and the problem is the influence of these people that are detached in urban environments is so significant because there's so many of them. There's so many more people that are detached than are connected that we have this like, very weird, like appreciation and understanding of resources and of like just how hard it is to just survive without modern convenience.

[B]

I had a. I think what changed me a lot was when I was younger I was accidentally around some pretty rough people, some criminals, people that were bad, violent, you know. And I think I remember going. I remember it's very scary when you're around people that are, you know, like that. And I never forgot it because I was pretty naive as most of us are coming up, up because I had been around a good family and stuff like that. And I saw how ugly and dangerous some men can be, especially when nobody's looking. And it. I never forgot the idea.

[A]

Especially in the areas that you grew up.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Well, I lived in, remember? Also I was in the war in Lebanon.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So how old were you? I was, I left in. I was, I left Lebanon when I was. I was 11 years old.

[A]

Yeah. So just imagine experiencing that as a 10 year old boy.

[B]

Yeah. And then I went back. Remember I went back when I was, I think 15, 16, and I didn't recognize anything from my childhood. So I was in Lebanon for five years and so I had wonderful memories. And then the war broke out and we were stuck. My father couldn't get back in because he was. And then we got evacuated, but I was living in the Holiday Inn for six months and we had to sleep on the floor. And then finally we had to, we had to go down into the fucking underground parking lot because they were bombing and you would wake up and you would hear machine guns and stuff. So you felt very out of sorts and very, very. It was very scary, you know, you're a kid, you know. And I remember seeing. On a balcony, I remember seeing planes bomb a gas station. I never forgot it. I never forgot seeing the planes come in and the, the missiles dropped and just, you know, and the sound, dude, the sound. And I don't know if anybody, anybody who's been in war knows this, but I was on the beach. I was on Coral Beach. And it probably was, it was in the 80s. I was a young, young. I was 14, 15, 16, whatever I was. They shot a rocket over our head. Okay. And I think it was a test fire. Dude. When I tell you that the sound was so loud that we all fell on the ground. I fell down on the sand. The sound was so disoriented that everybody went down on their hands and knees. That's how loud it was over your head. And I think that when you are in that kind of proximity to violence like that. And then later on, when I was older, I was around some people who were pretty rough. And for me, I knew that if the grid broke down, that those people were going to take over and there was going to be no fucking mercy. And I've never forgot that. And so. So you could see with COVID the minute that law enforcement had to restrict their resources, you saw what happened, looting, you saw crime, you saw homelessness. And the fabric of a society can break down so fucking quickly. People don't realize it until you've been in countries where it's happened and until you've been around men who negotiate the world in a violent way and maybe in ways that are a little bit outside the law, you don't know what you're doing, man. You. You got no idea. So all those people. And I love when the left starts talking about, you know, violent revolution, and you're in college, kid, you have no fucking idea. You don't, first of all, know what you're asking. Don't wake up that. And don't wake up the conservative. Don't do that. Let's not even talk about it. Because I know a lot of guys that shoot real straight, you know, and often. And. Yeah, and often. And they're very comfortable. They're really good at it, and they're comfortable in those violent spaces.

[A]

Kind of rare. Ready?

[B]

They're. They're. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not let those dogs slip.

[A]

Have you seen John McPhee?

[B]

Yeah, I have.

[A]

The mayor of Baghdad.

[B]

That'd be a good example.

[A]

That is a guy.

[B]

Yeah. Just, you know, his body just comes from enforcement, his traps. He just looks like a giant block. Yeah, he's a. He's a born enforcer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's not going to win a Nobel Prize for peace.

[A]

No.

[B]

You ever hear how Tim Kennedy talked about him? Like, yeah, you put him in a glass case and break in case of war.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Let's keep those guys on a. Let's keep them over here on.

[A]

Thank God that guy found Jiu Jitsu, too.

[B]

And that's why.

[A]

Give him an outlet.

[B]

Yes. And please understand, the base of our republic also is that we have civilian control of a military, and that Was a huge. In the election between, I think, Madison and Jefferson, the idea was, was it Madison or was it Adams? I can't remember. But in the election was, who should we have a standing army? Because traditionally in a republic, if you had a standing army, a very charismatic general like Napoleon would take over the army and take over the country. So that was a huge thing. James Madison was a genius at figuring out how to. How to limit that. And he said, checks and balances. But you have to have civilian government in control of the military because military people arrive at military solutions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fucking really important, man. Really important. You don't want to. Don't let guys like John McPhee. You need him in war.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But God bless. But let's just, you know.

[A]

Well, you've had Erik Prince on your podcast, right?

[B]

Very smart guy. Have you had him on?

[A]

No, I haven't, man.

[B]

I really enjoyed.

[A]

He was another guy who's talking about, like, what to do with Africa. And I was like, jesus.

[B]

Well, yeah, yeah. He used the word viceroy, and he did it on purpose. It's like he, he. But, but, but Eric comes from a position of how to solve problems.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When he was talking about the. When he's talking about Gossip Delta, he said, we have the ability to frack. What that means is we can drill sideways. He said, you could have filled those tunnels with seawater. Instead of bombing the. Out of, you know, 70 of it and killing all those people, you could have flooded those out because you, you, you, you drill. And I don't know if this is true. I don't know anything about fracking, but he does. And he said, you could have drilled this way. Fill. Take the Mediterranean, fill all those tunnels with seawater, and they would have had to come up and you would have been just fine and just position people, you know, when they come out of the water.

[A]

Why didn't they choose that?

[B]

A good question. The same reason that in Afghanistan they had an oil. They had an oil reserve there in Afghanistan that was well capped by the Soviets. Well capped. We could have taken that cap off and that oil. They had enough oil to not only fuel the entire country, but the whole war effort right there for about 9 cents a gallon. But instead, we would get our oil from Saudi Arabia, etc. And have to ship it through Pakistan. With all the roadblocks, it was about 900 bucks a gallon or some crazy shit. He was on my thing talking.

[A]

He says he presented a plan to do it. This is blocked by the Pentagon. Let's hear this. Put your Headphones.

[B]

Smart dude. Provided the Israelis a fully funded, donated ability, ability to flood Gaza with water, with seawater, to flood the 300 miles.

[A]

Of tunnels blocked by the Pentagon.

[B]

Our stuff isn't working that well in Ukraine, the Navy has been ineffective. In Yemen, US has given very bad advice, very mixed advice in Gaza. Preventing the Israelis from finishing it or even preventing from ending that war. In a clever way. Yeah. He's very smart. And. And. And Eric is. He's a problem solver. You can say whatever you want about him, but I really enjoy. He's a very smart guy, and I know people that work with him and for him.

[A]

And, well, if the shit goes down, you need people like that. You need people that know how to solve problems.

[B]

Yeah. But also, you know, you can't have.

[A]

Some overweight lesbian that says that if you're trapped in the building. You already made a mistake. You already fucked up. You need me to carry you.

[B]

Is that really what she said?

[A]

You want to hear it?

[B]

Yeah, I do. Let me hear it.

[A]

Jimmy, you could probably find it, right?

[B]

Just so you can outrage me and give me more energy.

[A]

I certainly have it in here. I know I can find it if you just give me a moment. It's just. It's so ridiculous. You hear her say it, you're like, what are you even saying? Here it is. I found it.

[B]

It's not AI, right?

[A]

No, no, no, no. Here, Jamie say AI.

[B]

Shit's getting crazy. I've had to call you.

[A]

I ask you.

[B]

I called you.

[A]

I was like, headphones on again. Because you're gonna have to hear it. Because it's so crazy. It's so ridiculous. House, your emergency, whether it's a medical.

[B]

Call or a fire call that looks like you, it gives that person a.

[A]

Little bit more ease knowing that somebody.

[B]

Might understand their situation better. Is she strong enough to do this, or.

[A]

You couldn't carry my husband out of a fire. Which. My response is, he got himself in the wrong place.

[B]

If I have to carry him out of a fire. Oh, wow. Oh, that's helpful.

[A]

That is such a crazy way to look at things. The correct answer is, no, I cannot. But I can do other things. Things.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. And we are going to need people that can carry people out of buildings, because that is a part of the job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not. He got himself.

[B]

Only if you want to save lives.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But again, this is social justice. Social justice. Ideology over. Ideology over effectiveness. Ideology over utility.

[A]

One of the things we saw during the 2024 election is massive chunks of California turned Red that had never been red before. And I suspect that that trend will continue and be even further. And you gotta flip the top.

[B]

There's a limit to what you can do. People, you know, they're not stupid. Americans. They reach their boiling point.

[A]

Yeah. I think we're gonna get to a point where they wake up, and you're gonna have to have someone come in and clean up the mess.

[B]

I think the greatest someone's gonna have.

[A]

To be, like, socially liberal, but fiscally conservative and pragmatic and realistic. But they're gonna have to, like, be a person like you or I who, like, supports gay rights, supports women's rights, supports equal rights, like, of course. But also, the thing is, don't hire people that aren't qualified for a job because you don't want to hire white people. That's crazy. Hire everybody that's qualified and then make everybody else more qualified. Go to the.

[B]

Make everybody rise to the same level. That's why sports are great, right?

[A]

Figure out a way to fix all your fucking urban problems. If you have $24 billion every year just for homelessness, imagine what that could have been done to clean up communities.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Because you haven't done a goddamn thing about homelessness. And all those people should be held accountable.

[B]

Well, that's because they. Again, they're framing the problem wrong. If you talk to those people, you talk to the people in charge of homelessness, a lot of times. I'm not saying a lot of them are. Look, a lot of them are good people, and a lot of them are smart, and they know a lot more about it than I do. So I don't like being the guy who's talking about, like, I. But I'm just saying I like to be fair. I want to be fair. But I think when you're framing it just as a housing problem and an inequality problem, it's a fucking lie.

[A]

It's a bunch of people profiting. I mean, Coleon Noir, when he was on the PODC podcast, explained that to me for the first time. He said, when he was in San Francisco, he said, what is going on? Like, do they just need more money? He's like, no, you don't understand. It's the opposite. It's like, there's a business now in keeping homelessness there, because there's people that are making a quarter. Quarter million dollars a year, and they're. They're just working on the homeless problem and they're failing. We got 31,000 new homeless people this year. It's just failure.

[B]

And you know, California was always including under Democratic governors. California was always known as a. As a place that was run very, very well with really responsible civic employees for a long time under Reardon and that and stuff.

[A]

And then, yeah, well, it's collapsing under the weight of its own.

[B]

Oh, did I tell you so. So I had. I had. I was with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I asked him what was it like to be governor. And one of the things I got was that how little power he. He was not able to get a lot of things done. But I'll give you a classic example. He said, and I'm sorry if I'm paraphrasing, but he said something. He said there was a water issue. And he said, these farmers over here are not using all that water. So here's ready. Here's what you do. Just take the water they're not using and give it to this, this part of the state over here. It's no big deal. Just pipe it over here. And his senators said, Mr. Governor, I can't do that. He said, why? He goes, because now you're asking me to go and ask my constituents to give up some of their water. They're going to use that against me in my next election. So he goes, so. So Schwarzenegger goes, so then what the fuck are we going to do? And he goes, here's what you're going to do. You're going to make a speech and you're going to say exactly what you just said to us. And we're going to say yes, but then we're not going to really let it happen. And he goes, that's how this works. He goes, how? You're learning, baby. That's fucking California state politics.

[A]

That is where Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy come in. Department of Government Efficiency, maybe. For sure. Maybe. I don't know what they're gonna be able to get done.

[B]

Let me give you an example. So Pete Hegseth seems like a great guy. I'm a fan. I don't know much about him, but I like that. Kind of. Seems like. Kind of guy I'd like to hang out and have a beer with. I'm sure he's very smart. Princeton, I think, Harvard, like bronze star, wrote four books. Awesome. I'm sure he'll be a very effective Secretary of Defense. However, that job, job this, this DOD, I think, has a million point one employees and a budget of $750 billion, maybe $850 billion. Now just that is a massive, massive company, essentially. And that requires management on a different level. That skill set is very specific and very, very difficult and very strange. It doesn't mean that because you are a great soldier you can necessarily do that. And I'm saying. I'm not. I'm just using it as an example. So we have to get down to brass tacks and take politics out of this and get real practical with all this stuff. I think with Elon Musk and with Vivek Ramasamswamy. The US government is a very complicated organism and massive. And does a lot of none of us even know about. You know, I always use this as an example. Who the fuck keeps geese out of the airfields? The Department of Agriculture. Who keeps. Who. Who keeps falcons on hand at most airports? Peregrine falcons. You know who does? The Department of Agriculture. You know why? Because they're territorial birds. They keep all the other birds out of the airfield. You know how to do that? Because I don't. Who gets sheep to graze at a higher altitude because of global warming? And they. They don't want to graze when it's really hot. I don't know. But we have to do that. If you want mutton and wool. And there are. Scientists have to figure that out. They're not political. There's a thousand things. Who manages all that nuclear waste in the ground and make sure it doesn't get into the Columbia river and the waterways? Who manages our electric grid? This is all. Who keeps track. Please. I'd like to know of all these spent uranium rods, sir, that are used in all our diagnostic machines. Because if you detonate one of those motherfuckers over the super bowl, you have to clear out that city for 20 years. The department of Energy is the answer.

[A]

That's Buttigieg. He's doing a great job.

[B]

Transportation.

[A]

Transportation. It was the guy who stole women's clothes.

[B]

Yeah. He's the nuclear secretary. Yeah.

[A]

He was responsible.

[B]

That guy seems like fucking. Well, that's not a guy.

[A]

That's a they piece. Don't misgender.

[B]

That's the most important thing. That fuck.

[A]

Don't misgender. That thief.

[B]

Jesus Christ. You understand what I'm saying?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So. So this is.

[A]

It's beyond complicated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Unbelievably complicated.

[B]

And so Michael Lewis wrote a book called the Fifth Risk about this. A good book. Short. Very worth reading. Very fucking worth reading. I walk around talking about being a libertarian, as usual. I don't really know what government does. I was so kind of humbled by the book because I was like There's a lot of shit. I rely on the people who are needy, people who are very elderly, people who are disabled, who live in places where they can't get food. Our food banks feed those people. Meals on wheels is a really big thing. So there's a lot of shit that the government does, and we feed a lot of people that couldn't feed themselves otherwise. So we have to be careful about not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. And once again, take politics out of it. Let's approach everything like it's a problem and stay agnostic about this shit. And sometimes you might have to be a little left. Sometimes you might have to be a little right. Respond to the fucking evidence, and be humble about the fact that every time you step into a problem, you may not know anything. And that's what I try to do.

[A]

Brian Callan for governor.

[B]

Why didn't you write. I hope you guys wrote that down. Where's my camera?

[A]

You don't need to write it down, bro. You just said it from the heart.

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

Yeah, bro.

[B]

Hilarious.

[A]

Yeah. Why don't you be a governor?

[B]

My buddy. My buddy. Last time I did my podcast, my buddy AG goes like this. He goes from toehold. He goes, hey, dude, loved your Rogan podcast. Next time you're on the biggest podcast in the world, make sure you talk about the Bible some more.

[A]

He goes, hey, man, it's interesting.

[B]

Yeah, I'm into that.

[A]

I had that Wesley Huff guy on. You know who he is? Yeah, he was really interesting. One of the most fascinating things that I can't stop thinking about is how the book of Isaiah from the Dead Sea Scrolls was verbatim the same as the book of Isaiah that they found a thousand years later.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

A thousand years.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And it was exact word for word.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that's incredible.

[B]

It's not only incredible, but I always think the fact fact that the Bible endures is interesting.

[A]

It's very interesting.

[B]

It endures.

[A]

I always go back to, like, what were they trying to do? What was it really all about? Where did it start?

[B]

I have an opinion.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

I think that if you read the Old Testament, which I've done three times, I would argue that. So what's a theme of any author writes a book? The theme is always the author's argument for how one should behave in the world.

[A]

World.

[B]

Okay. It's a good way of looking at it. And I think that the central theme of the Bible, of the Old Testament certainly is don't worship false gods. So what's that Mean, if you try to worship false gods, if you, if you, if you put too much emphasis on money, on status, on power, whatever it is, on ideology, you, you will, you will inevitably turn yourself into a circle. You'll, you'll be a snake eating its own tail for whatever reason. Human beings have a very hard time inventing and creating their own gods. And we always do it. The value of having a transcendent truth of something that you can't measure. It's very interesting that you can't measure it, that you. Even when. So why do the Muslims, why do the Orthodox Jews not have any kind of like, picture of God? It's because you're putting a measurement around God. You're trying to define God. And that's not, not for you to do. And there's something very valuable about not being able to do that because that transcendent truth is not for you to understand necessarily. It is for you to reach for. It is for you to be reverent of. It's for you to understand that something is watching you, that you will never get away with anything. And I'll quote Jordan Peterson, I love it because I've always thought this and I think you agree with this. You don't get away with anything, and you'll pay in full for everything you've done and haven't done. It's a great way of looking at things. Maybe it's wrong, but it's a good way to. At least it's, it's. Keep that in mind.

[A]

I think you pay psychologically, no matter.

[B]

What, 100% when you're not telling the truth.

[A]

Right. And that the people that don't, those are the people that are the most delusional and the most disconnected because they put blinders on as to who they are and what they've done. I mean, see this, when people get caught for horrible crimes and they, you know, they can't, like Bernie Madoff type people, like, they've deluded themselves to a point where they've, they've, they don't look at their complete sociopaths, which is a weird path that the mind can go into where you're never wrong and it's always about you.

[B]

Well, also, like I always. People talk about God. I, I kind of like replacing it with truth. So just, just try to stay close to the truth, man. And it's hard sometimes. The truth is really inconvenient. It's really, it's really. It, it might throw your whole life up in, in the air. You might have to Burn off, you know? But I think it's inevitable. And part of, like, if you see great stories, what's the definition of a tragedy? It's the hero or the protagonist doesn't learn from his mistakes and holds on. Moby Dick is a tragedy because Ahab will not give up on this fucking white whale that took his leg. And if you read the book, he just gets sucked in. You'd think it'd be some dramatic thing. In the book, Ahab gets caught by the whale and just. He just. He just dies this quick. This is soundless. He just gets sucked in. Like, wait, dude, he's been in the book the whole time. What the fuck happened? That's how it happens, bro. You got sucked down, and the universe doesn't give a fuck. You're not important. But you spent all that time trying to get vengeance on a white whale. And that thing was like, he was just trying to run away. You get sucked in and you drown. It's a great way of looking at life. And as I get older, the one thing I would have told myself when I was younger, one thing I would have told myself is I would have said, hey, listen, listen, face, you better tell the truth. All the way. All the way across the board. All the way across.

[A]

Let me tell you something. Yeah, you wouldn't have listened.

[B]

You're so right. Because you know what I always said to myself? I'm one of God's favorites. These things don't apply to me.

[A]

Well, you're also. You're charming. You know, charming is a problem.

[B]

Got away with a lot.

[A]

Yeah. Charm. And you're fun to be around. People like you. You're fun.

[B]

A lot of friends.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of friends.

[B]

Found my way through.

[A]

And also we liked that you were ridiculous. We like living your life completely chaotic, Reckless. Yeah. But it's also why you're funny. Like, that's the balancing act. It is as a comic, as a human. Yeah.

[B]

I didn't want to be too. I didn't want to be. The people I knew got real famous. Actors, they were so buttoned down. They were so fucking afraid of everything. And I was like, hey, bro, I think sometimes you got to be willing to throw the whole fucking chessboard in the air. And, you know, it's like my favorite.

[A]

You want to be funny?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. If you. If you become too calculated, man, I just think you out think yourself. You lose the magic. The part of the magic of being a comedian is these sparks of ridiculousness that have to pop into your head so you have to be able to entertain that part of your mind. I used to think when I was young that I didn't want to meditate because I didn't want to become enlightened because it would fuck up my comedy.

[B]

True.

[A]

Well, I thought that way because I realized that there was a completely different mindset between me as a martial arts competitor and me as a comedian, where I didn't need anybody's approval before. Like, I liked that they didn't like me. I used to love going to places and fucking up the local hero. I used to enjoy it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just get a kick out of all because I didn't have anybody in my corner. I didn't. Cheering for me. Nobody came to see me fight. So I was like, I'll go to your place and fuck you up. I liked it. It. Yeah, I liked. I liked hearing on your shelf. There was one. There was a fight that I had when I was 19, and I fought in Anaheim at the. The nationals. And there's this guy who's the state champion. I think he was from Illinois. And I hit him with a wheel kick. That was probably the hardest I've ever hit anybody in my life.

[B]

Somebody like that.

[A]

Well, he went unconscious and he never woke up. They took him to the hospital. They took him out on a. On a stretcher. It scared the shit out of me because I remember thinking that easily could have been me. That easily could have been me. But what I do remember was all these people were cheering them. Let's go, Johnny.

[B]

Come on, Johnny.

[A]

Him up, Johnny. All these people trying to whack. Silence. Face plant. And then snoring.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

And then I remember the satisfaction of that, like, shut the.

[B]

It feels like nothing. On your foot.

[A]

Well, it hurt. I was limping, really. Days.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Hit him with your heel.

[A]

I hit him in the. With the. With my heel in his cheek.

[B]

Christ.

[A]

On his cheekbone. Yeah. And I was.

[B]

That'll hurt. Yes.

[A]

I was fast.

[B]

Yeah, still are.

[A]

But back then when I was 19, I was fast. So it happened in a breeze. A quick moment. And then I remember thinking afterwards, or he. When is he getting up? He's not getting. He didn't get up. And then they carried him away in the stretcher and they took him to the hospital. And I never felt the same way about fighting again after that.

[B]

Yeah. Because that could have been you.

[A]

Yeah. I also thought about, like, if that was me, would I even be the same person again after that? Because I had a friend who fought in this tournament. He fought this guy, Jersey Long, who was this Canadian national champion. And he got axe kicked in the head hard. And he went unconscious and real bad. And he was never the same guy again. He was timid after that. He never fought well. He was, he didn't show up for training a lot. He was just, and he just like seemed depressed.

[B]

That's why I think fighters who can, who have longevity are very special because one of the things, you know, if you like just box or Taekwondo especially, people don't realize that people get, would get knocked out all the time in our studio. But, but also boxing, like when you get hit hard and you have trouble chewing for like two weeks or you get hit, like, like when I was sparring a lot, I would get hit, man, and I would get, get fucking gun shy. And my, my trainer, Wayne McCulloch would go, you're sparring today. And I, it was everything I could do not to turn my car around. It would almost turn me into a liar. I was like, I have to, I'm in the hospital. My car just got hit by a truck. Anything. But I would. You'd get there and you'd have your fucking, your. I would wear a bar. Cause I'm a bitch and a mouthpiece. And I was still always nervous and like I was fighting good guys, fighting guys like me. Fucking weekend warriors.

[A]

It doesn't matter.

[B]

It didn't matter.

[A]

The person trying to hit you in the face is scary.

[B]

You know what I think? You know what I think meditation does? I think, I think the point is, and I don't meditate a lot, is to get out of your own. To get out of the way. Like to, to get out of the way.

[A]

Like that's a lot of life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Getting out of your own. Yeah.

[B]

I heard a sports psychologist say that he teaches baseball players. He would teach them, he would do this mantra which was one, two, get out of the way. So when you're trying to hit a ball, because it's really precise and you can't be overthinking, you've got to just be totally reactive. Right. Your, your, your eye and your hands have to be married and are throwing 100 mile an hour balls. And like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you ever, you ever done that? You ever stood in at a plate and had guys throw 100 miles an hour? No, I have, I have.

[A]

Insane.

[B]

Terrifying.

[A]

The idea of hitting that thing, dude, it's terrifying. Yeah.

[B]

And, and, but I wanted to try it. I want to see what it was like. And when you, when your job depends on it, when, when everything rides on It. You better get out of your own way. And guys get the yips. That's why guys will go on hitting streaks, and then they'll go on long dry spells. Get in their own way. But I think part of, like, all of that meditation. Jamie, pull up the fucking Indian army. Did you see this? They were hiking.

[A]

No.

[B]

In the Himalayas. And they came across a bodhisattva, or, you know, a monk who was meditating in the snow and it was 40 below.

[A]

This is recently.

[B]

Yes, sir. You might want to bring this up so it can just.

[A]

You know what Custom Auto used to tell Mike Tyson? You don't exist. Just the task. The task exists.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Yeah. You don't exist.

[B]

He's become a bit of a monk. Yeah.

[A]

So they found this guy that's. Oh, bro, this is. AI. Yeah, that's a. That's in a green screen. This is two or three years old. Shut up. It's fake.

[B]

Yeah, that's bad.

[A]

Look at that dude. I bet that dude's boring as to talk to. Look at him sitting there with a.

[B]

Dog, meditating, covered in snow. Oh, and it's unbelievable. Well, that might be true, bubba.

[A]

He looks legit.

[B]

Yeah. They find these guys out there.

[A]

Yeah, he looks legit.

[B]

They find these guys.

[A]

Yeah, I like to see him.

[B]

There's a guy snow, and he's not moving. And the Indian army.

[A]

Yeah, it looks like he's having fun. What's the temperature like? Dog's having fun too, though.

[B]

Yeah, but that's.

[A]

We don't think that dog. Amazing.

[B]

That's in Utah.

[A]

We're like, that dog's amazing. You think that's in Utah? I don't know. Come on, man. That's real.

[B]

That's some guy on a lot of drugs.

[A]

That guy is. No, man, he's. He did the dmt. Breathing.

[B]

Well, you know those dudes in. In. You ever read Shantaram? You know those guys who take a vow to never sit down? They stand up. Oh, you've seen their legs in India.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, bro, the knees are strong. They're the standing yogis.

[A]

How bad are their knees?

[B]

No, no, they get varicose veins. Their bodies. Their feet start to melt. Like, they smoke copious amounts of weed. I mean, they're always high. Constantly. Yeah, but they take a vow never to ever, ever sit. They are standing their whole life. So they sleep standing up in slings.

[A]

Oh, that's ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah, it doesn't.

[A]

What do their legs look like?

[B]

You should. You can. You can look that up just to fuck you. Up some more.

[A]

Give me. Standing yoga is just showing me.

[B]

All right.

[A]

What is it? How would you describe it as? Standing yogis?

[B]

Yeah, they're like the standing. The famous standing yogis or something. They're called.

[A]

We're from maybe, do you know?

[B]

India. India? India. I think in Calcutta.

[A]

Yeah. Sometimes the ferry's only a nickel, you know, you don't have to stand all day. You idiot. Have a seat. Smoke a cigar.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Please relax a little bit.

[B]

At the end of the day, they're trying to get laid.

[A]

I don't know what they're trying to do. They're. They're definitely not trying to get laid.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because they don't do it.

[B]

I think a lot of people are dealing with trauma. I think a lot of times you're kill yourself or do something crazy, right?

[A]

Sometimes something. Yeah.

[B]

You know, I don't think you become a monk or a shaman. Joseph Campbell did a whole thing. Every shaman he studied.

[A]

He.

[B]

He was a. An expert at comparing Western and Eastern traditions. And he said every shaman woman ever had gone through some kind of a mental breakdown, usually in their teens. And they came out of it because they had a society, a village that helped them through it, that. That sort of, like, understood that it was. It was a schizophrenic break, but they were going through something, and there was something on the other side of that, so they. They wouldn't medicate them.

[A]

Standing babas. This has got. What is it? Standing babas. Standing babas, yeah. What? Look at that guy's foot. Go back to that other image that you had before.

[B]

It's not a good. It's not.

[A]

What did you have before?

[B]

Yeah, look at that guy's foot.

[A]

Oh, that's different. Oh, that's Chinese ladies. Oh, that is the most disgusting thing, the Chinese foot binding. Like, Jesus.

[B]

I saw that with my own eyes in. In 1984 in China, I went to.

[A]

So this is how this guy stands, just propped up all the time. That dude looks like he has one leg.

[B]

Donations? No, they left his arm in the air too.

[A]

Oh, Jesus, look at his arm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Forever.

[B]

He keeps his arm up.

[A]

1973. Oh, my God. He hasn't brought it down since 1973. Yeah. He sees as a devotion to Lord Shiva. Maybe Lord Shiva. Like, hey, hey, hey, hey. Wipe your ass.

[B]

Yeah, I gave you two arms.

[A]

Wipe your ass. You can't use the same arm to feed yourself and wipe your ass. You're gonna have to wipe your ass. That's crazy. Look at his arm. I bet I could arm wrestle the out of that dude, I'd bet everything I have.

[B]

That's not the point, man.

[A]

Everything I have, dude. Let's go.

[B]

You know who's into arm wrestling now? Brian Shaw.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a problem.

[B]

He's been training hard.

[A]

That's a real problem. Yeah, look at that dude, just high out of his mind.

[B]

I tell you, Brian.

[A]

White power. What does he do? What is that?

[B]

That's forever. So that's black power.

[A]

Black power.

[B]

That's why.

[A]

Which one? White power is the hand. It's all about the hand.

[B]

If you extend your fingers, it's. It's so white power.

[A]

Just basically a pro.

[B]

Black, pro black, white, Black power.

[A]

Will you up.

[B]

Correct. White power says yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not. And Hitler did this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everybody else did this. He did this.

[A]

It's funny, like, when CNN was attacking me, one of the photos that they would use all the time was me at the ufc waving to the crowd like this. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to. They would use me standing like this.

[B]

This one is like Justin Baldoni thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When you see what the New York Times did to Baldoni, where they took every one of the. Those things out of context. And Valdoni was like, really? How about I see you for $250 million and he's got fucking 90 pages of receipts. It's gonna be very interesting.

[A]

Yeah, very interesting. It's interesting how the mainstream media just continues to go down this road of discrediting themselves.

[B]

Yeah. I don't understand it.

[A]

Well, it's the rise of independent journalism, because there are the Michael Shellenbergers, the Matt Taibis, there are the Barry Weiss. Barry Weiss's people in the world, all the Glenn Greenwald. There's these people that you could trust that are going to tell you the fucking truth no matter what.

[B]

Yeah. That's what I like about the marketplace. The marketplace will find people that you. You can rely on.

[A]

Yes. To Actually, as long as there's freedom of speech, as long as you don't have censorship.

[B]

That's Elon Musk.

[A]

Yeah, that's Elon Musk.

[B]

I feel like YouTube and now Facebook, they're all coming around.

[A]

Well, that was one of the things Zuckerberg came on yesterday to talk about. They've changed their content policy. They no longer have fact checkers, and now they're going to rely on community network notes.

[B]

What is that? I don't understand that.

[A]

They used to have fact checkers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like someone would say something and someone say, that's not true. The vaccine's nothing but amazing. And they'll take off posts.

[B]

So what are community notes?

[A]

Community notes is what X uses. So, like, say if you post something it's not true, the community notes underneath it would. You could write community notes.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

So the community notes would be. Everybody would post into it, this is not true. And it would come to a consensus, the facts state debate, that this and that. It's amazing. It's the best way to do it. Because eventually the truth comes out. Yeah, the truth comes out. Brian Callan, I love you to death.

[B]

Love you too.

[A]

You're the man. I'm so happy that you're filming at the club. It's gonna be awesome.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Are you filming tomorrow night?

[B]

Tomorrow night? Tonight I'm doing two shows just to warm up Theo Vaughn stopping by, which I'm excited.

[A]

So tomorrow night, 7 and 10?

[B]

7 and 10 tomorrow night.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

Sold out already, all shows, of course, which is exciting. Exciting.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So exciting. I'm pumped for people to see your set too. It's gonna be fun. I love you, man. Thank you very much for doing this. Bye, everybody.