#2415 - Adam Ray

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #2415 – Adam Ray

Date: November 20, 2025
Host: Joe Rogan
Guest: Adam Ray (comedian, actor, impressionist)

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian and impressionist Adam Ray, with Joe Rogan, Brian Redban, and Jamie at the table. The conversation is loose, freewheeling, and filled with stories from stand-up comedy, behind-the-scenes anecdotes, playful character work, and observations on fame, culture, and technology. Adam Ray shares his experiences with impressions (notably Dr. Phil and Tony Hinchcliffe), the realities of working on stage and touring, and riffs on everything from professional wrestling training to modern absurdities like viral trends and reality TV.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Adam Ray's Impressions and Comedy Characters

• Dr. Phil & Tony Hinchcliffe Impressions:
  • Adam recounts his Netflix special where he interviewed Dr. Phil — while dressed as Dr. Phil himself ([00:45]-[02:26]).
  • The dynamic of doing an unscripted show dressed as the person you’re interviewing:

    “It’s a wild thing to do an unscripted show with somebody you have no rapport with.” — Adam Ray ([01:13])

  • Tony Hinchcliffe’s support for Adam’s impression and the camaraderie within the comedy community.
• Character Creation & Makeup:
  • Insider look at the transformation process for impressions, involving prosthetics and wardrobe. Woody Harrelson’s reaction to Tony impression, which Adam riffs into a Johnny Depp idea ([05:41], [06:13]-[06:25]).
  • Improv brainstorming on “Johnny Depp as Tony” and what that would look like on stage, complete with props and running gags ([06:31]-[07:15]).

2. The Comedy Grind and Artistic Delusion

• Starting Out:
  • Adam explains the 'delusion' necessary for young comics, referencing early open mics, bombing at a frat party, and learning to absorb tough crowds ([86:41]-[87:42]).
  • Importance of living a “life worth writing about” and not chasing shortcuts through viral clips alone.
• Social Media and Comedy Today:
  • Discussion on the “crowd work clip” phenomenon; how comics can be propelled too quickly into the spotlight before they're ready. The tension between capturing viral success and building craft ([87:47]-[88:21]).

  • “You don’t necessarily want people watching you the first year… maybe not even in the first three!” — Adam Ray ([88:19])

3. The Lottery, Luck, and the American Dream

• Lottery Mechanics and Psychology:
  • Long, comedic breakdown of how jackpots work, odds, payout options, and why so many winners lose it all ([13:16]-[26:00]).
  • Math on Powerball, annuity vs. lump sum, taxes, and government profits.
  • Consistently skeptical, irreverent tone about the fairness of the system:

    "You sold 111 million tickets for one winner? … That’s bananas." — Brian Redban ([17:53])

• Hypothetical Lottery Spending:
  • Imagining lives changed by a huge win, and why the fantasy is so alluring. Adam and Joe riff about what they’d do if they won — Jeff Bezos-style rocket rides, grills, wasting it all, and why Rogan says winning would be “bad for him” ([26:00]-[27:28]).

4. Physical Transformations and Bodybuilding

• Steroids in Sports:
  • Debate on whether steroid use should be allowed in baseball and sports ([62:37]-[63:36]).
  • Joe:

    “Make it legal. Make it mandatory. I want every baseball player to be roided out of his mind.” ([63:21])

• Bodybuilding & Discipline:
  • Admiration and confusion about the motivation behind extreme bodybuilding and the dedication required ([59:23]-[61:12]).
  • Adam asks if people would take a “lottery pill” to magically get in shape.

5. Pop Culture: Movies, TV, and Reality

• Movies from the 80s:
  • Nostalgic dive into “Weird Science,” “Soul Man,” and the era’s bizarre or problematic premises ([49:01]-[54:35]).
• Reality TV's Evolution:
  • Judgment and amusement at modern reality dating shows like “The Golden Bachelor” and “MILF Manor" ([122:30]-[127:39]).

  • “Why isn’t there just Anal Island at this point?” — Adam Ray ([125:27])

6. Drug Stories & Modern Trends

• Adderall and “Performance Enhancers” for Comedy:
  • Adam’s first time trying Adderall and what it felt like ([101:02]-[102:20]).
  • Joe compares the allure of drugs like Adderall (and crack, humorously) to the temptations of shortcuts and “superpowers."
• Fitness Tech and VR:
  • Extended riff on VR gaming equipment, omnidirectional treadmills, and whether VR exercise will ever appeal to the masses ([94:00]-[97:48]).

7. Empathy, Religion, and Sociopaths

• Religious Encounters:
  • Stories of excessive proselytizing — from childhood summer camp conversion attempts to aggressive fan pushes after shows ([111:04]-[117:54]).
• Religion’s Value:
  • Noting that, at its best, religion provides societal scaffolding for ethics, but “kooks” can give it a bad name ([119:18]-[121:00]).
• Sociopathy in Society:
  • Speculating on the number of sociopaths (“real monsters”) among us and whether it’s nature or nurture ([132:21]-[134:16]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Self-Awareness & Comedy:
  • "Laughing at yourself is such a man... being self-deprecating, you know, within context. Obviously if someone's just being mean, there's a difference." — Adam Ray ([02:27])
• On Starting in Standup:
  • “You need the delusion to start… You’re going to have to suck at the beginning. It’s just with everything you do…” — Joe Rogan ([86:44])
• On Steroids & Baseball:
  • “Make it legal. Make it mandatory. I want every baseball player to be roided out of his mind.” — Joe Rogan ([63:21])
• On Proselytizers:
  • “She said, ‘Wouldn’t you like to know where you’re going when you die?’ I go, to be honest, no, I’m rocking out to my favorite Phil Collins song, hoping the plane reroutes itself and we actually live.” — Adam Ray ([117:44])
• On Reality TV's Absurdity:
  • “Why isn’t there just Anal Island at this point? … Even Love Island, that’s a lot…” — Adam Ray ([125:27])

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• Adam’s Dr. Phil Impression Story: [00:45]–[02:26]
• Tony Hinchcliffe Impression, Woody Harrelson on “Depp as Tony”: [05:41], [06:13]–[06:25]
• Lottery odds, payout math, and philosophical riffing: [13:16]–[26:00] (with notable multi-speaker laughter)
• Bodybuilding discipline & would-you-take-the-pill thought experiment: [59:23]–[61:12]
• Comedy “delusion” & learning curve: [86:41]–[87:42]
• Debate about virality vs. craft for new comics: [87:47]–[88:21]
• “Golden Bachelor” and reality TV escalation: [122:49]–[127:39]

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Tone and Interactions

The episode is a rapid-fire, joke-heavy, conversational ping pong between friends and comedians. Joe, Adam, and Brian circle back frequently to the absurdities of modern life, the grind of stand-up, and the deeper human need for connection, using real-life stories and sharp impressions to keep the laughs and insights coming.

Their camaraderie and comic instincts create a space where ideas riff freely, from mock business pitches (“Anal Island!”) to heartfelt exchanges about empathy and perseverance in the entertainment business.

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Final Notes for Listeners

• Adam Ray’s vivid stories and willingness to poke fun at himself (and everyone else in the comedy/entertainment bubble) make the episode engaging whether or not you’re familiar with his characters.
• For aspiring comedians or comedy fans, there are particularly useful nuggets on what it takes to “make it,” and how the scene has changed.
• Deep dives into the lottery, bodybuilding, tech, and pop culture all serve as springboards for larger discussions about American dreams, discipline, and the lure of shortcuts.

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For more of Adam Ray:

• Theatre tour dates and special: adamraycomedy.com
• YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok: @adamraycomedy

For more JRE:

• joerogan.com
• Podcasts available on Spotify and YouTube

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Transcript

[Adam Ray]

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

[Brian Redban]

The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day, hopefully. Yeah. Part of it was rolling. Adam Ray, my man. Great to see you. Guest of the year. Kill Tony. How's it feel?

[Adam Ray]

Feels great.

[Brian Redban]

Did you get a belt or anything? Some sort of a cup. I should have some sort of a cup. Like a Stanley cup.

[Adam Ray]

Tony always short. Changing the gifts. That last time I saw you, I.

[Brian Redban]

Think when I was jacket. That's what it should be.

[Adam Ray]

That's not a great idea.

[Brian Redban]

That's a great idea.

[Adam Ray]

We made these for the end of the Phil. Dr. Phil tour, which, by the way, we have our very last one at the Wilton on December 16th if anyone wants.

[Brian Redban]

You ever had Dr. Phil on as a guest?

[Adam Ray]

Yes. Remember?

[Brian Redban]

For the Netflix special? That's right.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Yeah. It was so funny. We were in the green room. I met him like an hour before. And he goes. He goes, no, it's your show, but I'm gonna fuck with you. And I'm dressed as him. And I go, well, I know you better than you know yourself, so strap in. And he was like, oh. And he was dying laug and. But the last time I saw you, I think I was Tony. Right.

[Brian Redban]

At the mothership. Yeah. The difference is, like doing it on your show when you're doing the Dr. Phil show. Yeah, yeah. That's a different thing.

[Adam Ray]

I felt oddly, you know, the whole show's improvised. So it's a wild thing to do an unscripted show with somebody you have no rapport with.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

When I've had.

[Brian Redban]

And you're doing an impression of him.

[Adam Ray]

Totally. So I'm trying to go. I think everything I'm going to do is hunky dory with him, but, like, I don't know if I'm going to press the wrong button. Like, at one point, I think we. He said something where I go, I go, well, marriage is tough. I go, but we keep it fresh in the bedroom. Right? And he goes, okay, well, you watch yourself. And I got like, we don't use butt plugs.

[Brian Redban]

But he was.

[Adam Ray]

He was such a. He rolled with everything, man.

[Brian Redban]

It's good friends with his son, Jordan Jay.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to know. Jordan, who kind of helped facilitate the whole thing. He kind of got in his ear and was like, this thing is pretty awesome. And it's making you, you know, making.

[Brian Redban]

Both of them famous. Totally.

[Adam Ray]

And not. And I'm just glad that because you never know. Like, I could have two days in gotten A legal letter. Like, enough's enough easily. We. I actually ended the Netflix special with showing his signed contract, like to the camera, being like, look, no, cease and desist. But you know, you never know. But it's parody.

[Brian Redban]

He's a really good guy.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. And laughing at yourself is such a man. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like, it. I started talking about this on stage where it's just like the people that I am friends with that like, that aren't comics that I'll be in, you know, hangs with that, like if I, you know, bust their balls and they get a little weird about it, it's like, oh, man. Like, you're a bummer not only for right now in the hang, but just this bleeds into other facets of your life. You gotta be being self deprecating and, you know, within context. Obviously if someone's just, you know, you know, just making fun of you, you know, just being mean. There's a difference.

[Brian Redban]

There's a difference between me and mean and being funny. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

But like, like Tony, for example, like doing Tony on kill. Tony. I remember I was in Portland or in Eugene at my buddy's club, Olsen Run Comedy club, Shout Out, Great club. And I'm there and I tell the story about how Shane and I, the Biden Trump thing came together because a buddy of mine asked me, he's like, you and Shane must you have been best friends like 10 years ago? We literally, that was probably the sixth time we've ever talked to each other. So we're getting to know each other in full makeup for two plus hours. That's a weir to build a friendship. And so I had.

[Brian Redban]

You guys are so good at bouncing off of crowds and off of each other. It was seamless, right? It was really fun.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. There's something cool about jumping in the bit boat with somebody that's just like, oh, I just want to make the other person laugh.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Like, I got comfy because he's Shane. He been nice about the Phil stuff, but like, you know, he. He was definitely established as Shane Gillis. So it's like. And it's Trump and Biden's trying to find. I'm trying to find my ways to be a sniper when he's not known for being funny. But as soon as I got out there and I had the frozen eyes and I was like. And Shane started to break out. That made me feel really comfortable when Shane, like couldn't keep it together. But so my. This kid in line at the meet and greet goes you should do Tony on Kill Tony. Because I tell the story of how Tony was like, shane's going to do Trump. You got to do Biden. I bought a new vest. It's going down, baby. You know, I do all that and the guy's like, you should do Tony. And I was like. I kind of scoffed it off. And then I texted him and I said, what would you think about me dressing up as you? And he just texted back in all caps. Absolutely. It'll be your best character yet.

[Brian Redban]

While we're doing this, unfortunately, people can't see anything, so, you know, they just see us. But I want to show.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

Cuz it's so crazy how close you get to him. It's kind of eerie. Like, I didn't see it in how your face structure changed. Like, you look like a different person. It's like you had become Tony. Like, you do a weird thing when you do characters like you. You oddly become that person. Give me some volume on this.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, the beginning. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God. Dude. Who's ready for the best night of their lives, Bro? It's like you got a different face. Yeah, well, you did something weird. You did something weird.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, they taped my ears back a little bit to push his ears out. And then the teeth are the same. I just got the clothes down the hair.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, you look oddly like him.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. It's wild.

[Brian Redban]

Less like you than him.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I would think that's more Tony Hinchcliffe doing an Adam Ray impersonation.

[Adam Ray]

You know, is the best. Is Woody Harrelson was there that night and comes up me after, and he's like.

[Brian Redban]

He's like, man.

[Adam Ray]

He's like, that was crazy, man. He's like, I don't know what was going on or what you had to do. I was like. I watched the intro a bunch. I've known Tony since we both started. And he goes, you kind of got a little Johnny Depp going on with the thing. So then I started going. I go, woody. I go, maybe I am Johnny Depp. Maybe I'm Johnny playing Tony. And then he was like, what the man, bro?

[Brian Redban]

You should totally do that. Johnny is the pirate.

[Adam Ray]

That's not a bad idea.

[Brian Redban]

It's a great idea. I just heard your accent, Tony.

[Adam Ray]

100 in full pirate guard.

[Brian Redban]

Yes. Just come out, Jack Sparrow.

[Adam Ray]

I'm a big fan of horns. Coom horns. That's a great idea. 100. Okay.

[Brian Redban]

It has to be done.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Real understated to be done.

[Brian Redban]

Wow. Okay. That is your next big character.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, My God, The Amber Heard jokes are endless.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

Endless. Well.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God. I was just like, well, what sort of a pot could he pull from.

[Brian Redban]

The kind of cocaine?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. And maybe every time he likes somebody, he goes, I'm gonna give you the Joni bracelet of approval. And he gives him, like, a bracelet like, ye.

[Brian Redban]

It's a great idea.

[Adam Ray]

Wow, Joe.

[Brian Redban]

All right, this is the perfect character for you.

[Adam Ray]

People have pitched me to do you.

[Brian Redban]

Should have a treasure chest filled with cocaine.

[Jamie]

Can we delete this from the podcast so we can save it or.

[Adam Ray]

No way. This is great.

[Brian Redban]

Filled with coke.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

Bring out a Chesar chest filled with baby powder. Just buy, like, 10 pounds of baby powder.

[Adam Ray]

And just in between. Or instead of Heidi bringing out drinks, he brings me bags of coke, and I'm just blowing lines.

[Brian Redban]

Full treasure chest.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, that's so funny. A real parrot.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, no, no, real parrot. Probably freak out and have a hard time.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, we did. I did. Just so I tried this new character called Bruce Robbins at the Comedy Stories, like a mentalist magician, and it's gonna drop on my YouTube in a couple weeks. And I rented an owl for 1200 bucks.

[Brian Redban]

A.

[Adam Ray]

Like, Harlan said he knew the type of owl Harlan was on the show, too. A Eurasian, I think.

[Brian Redban]

Owl.

[Adam Ray]

He said it's the biggest owl.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa.

[Adam Ray]

This thing was so the whole bit was this character, Bruce Robinson's got, like, a big blonde coif, big bug teeth, and, you know, kind of from the south, talks like this real fast, you know, and, you know, I'm a magician. I'm a former real estate agent, too. But, you know, magic is my healing power. And so the bit was bringing out this owl that was like a psychic owl. And so people would ask it questions, but I had my buddy who does a really good Morgan Freeman do voiceover. So then I would hold the mic up to the owl's face, and then you would play the Morgan Freeman. So, like, somebody goes, you know, how many. Or is somebody asked, is democracy, you know, is democracy ruined or are we going to save it in this country? And we had a bunch of canned responses. And so then I go, archie, what do you think about Archie the psychic gal? Is democracy going to be saved or ruined? And then you just hear Morgan Freeman go gay. I go, thanks for. Thanks. Any other questions we got, you know, but. But a real parrot for Johnny Depp would be wild. Or maybe I don't fake.

[Brian Redban]

I don't think parrots would enjoy that. Probably be animal cruelty.

[Adam Ray]

It probably would.

[Brian Redban]

The large crowd of people Screaming and.

[Adam Ray]

What'S your what's Creature?

[Brian Redban]

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[Adam Ray]

Welcome to Walgreens. Looking for a holiday gift? Sort of. My cousin Freddy showed up to surprise us.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, sounds like a real nice surprise.

[Adam Ray]

Exactly. So now I have to get him a gift, but I haven't gotten my bonus yet. So if we can make it something really nice but also not break the.

[Brian Redban]

Bank, that'd be perfect.

[Adam Ray]

How about a Keurig for 50% off? Bingo savings all season.

[Brian Redban]

The holiday road is long.

[Adam Ray]

We're with you all the way. Walgreens offer valid November 26 through December 27. Exclusions apply. Or, you know, do you have any? Has anyone brought. What's the craziest thing someone's brought into the mothership for, like, I guess like an animal.

[Brian Redban]

No one's ever brought an animal.

[Adam Ray]

I'm just trying to.

[Brian Redban]

Except Paula brings his dog sometimes, but he's got a sweet dog.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And John. Ron's brought his dog a bunch of times. Ron's got a cute little dog.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. And I'm trying to think. When we did a Dr. Phil at the mothership, we didn't have too many crazy.

[Brian Redban]

Ever work with Liza Schlesinger?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, we did a game show.

[Brian Redban]

She make you hold her dog.

[Adam Ray]

Used to make her.

[Brian Redban]

She just, like, give you a dog before she goes on stage. Take my dog and be like, okay.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, I know. And thank God it's always the people that love dogs.

[Brian Redban]

I've held multiple dogs of hers over the years, you know, because dogs die.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

She gets a new one, bro. I got that new one with the scars around her nose.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Where she was one of those dogs that they were. I mean, who knows what the. They were gonna do to it.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But they had its. Its face bound. I think she got it from China. Wow.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, she did.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Because I think she calls it, like, fungus. They might be. It's close.

[Brian Redban]

Something like that. She. Which is racist.

[Adam Ray]

Which is racist. Yeah, Very racist. Couldn't have gone with, like, Albert or Jill, bro.

[Brian Redban]

You ever been on Blue Sky? What's that blue sky is like the ultra super liberal Twitter for people. Like, Twitter's filled with Nazis and they ran over to blue Sk Guy wrote, I'm just trying to be Zen about it. And then someone under that wrote, how about try not to be racist against Asians? Wow.

[Adam Ray]

For Zayan, for saying Zen. That's. I don't like that.

[Brian Redban]

That's crazy.

[Adam Ray]

That's crazy.

[Brian Redban]

That was one of the wildest like, reaches I've ever seen in my life. Zen is a. Zen is one of.

[Adam Ray]

The best words to describe being tranquil or serene. Right. Is another one.

[Brian Redban]

Zen in the art of motorcycle repair. God damn. Zen in the art of archery.

[Adam Ray]

I was just talking about how my dogs are my, like, Zen happy place.

[Brian Redban]

Which, by the way, imagine thinking that saying that is racist.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, that's bananas.

[Brian Redban]

But that's how crazy this is like what you're dealing with with humans out there. Some people are just off the reservation.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, you're. You posted something recently, or maybe you said something on a pod about, like, your love for Marshall. And I wanted to bring this up because we're thinking about finally trying to have kids. My wife's had to go through some stuff to get us in a place to, you know, where. Where it's all right on that front.

[Brian Redban]

Rituals, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Goat sacrifice.

[Adam Ray]

Yes, Goat sacrifice. She did play some song recently that's. That said it was some. Maybe an Ariana Grande or something song. And I go, I go, are we sacrificing a lamb in the backyard? What the fuck is this? It was just so. It made me feel so old because it was so just. And I was like, I just don't. I don't know who this is, but we're getting close to having kids and we have two dogs. And I'm like, I get emotional leaving the dogs, dude. I mean, it's. It's bad, like. And I don't even know how it's going to be with kids. I mean. And you can probably attest to that.

[Brian Redban]

When you're on the road. Yeah, Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

I have trouble leaving.

[Brian Redban]

You can't even compare. When I go on the road, I know someone's taking care of my dog. And he's going to be great, right? He's a sweetheart. He's great with everybody. I never worry about him.

[Adam Ray]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

The kids are a totally different, Totally different beast. Oh, my God. It's like, you don't even. You can't even imagine how you're going to love them. It's just, it's. It changes you as a human being. Because then you start to realize that everybody was a baby. And that most of these up people in the world, they just got a bad deck of cards.

[Adam Ray]

It's a great way to put it.

[Brian Redban]

And they just been handed a sandwich every day of their life. Everybody, you run into them and maybe you're lucky. You had really nice parents.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You lived in a really nice neighborhood. You had good friends. You weren't in jail when you were 12.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You know, and so it's just you, you, you have more compassion for the whole world when you have kids.

[Adam Ray]

I could have been in jail when I was 12. I put a firework in my neighbor's mailbox.

[Brian Redban]

That's not good.

[Adam Ray]

That's not great.

[Brian Redban]

What if you had like a, a lottery check in there?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, could you sue over that? No. I guess there's no way to find out.

[Brian Redban]

Kill you sue. Rather go to jail. The money's gone.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, we did it.

[Brian Redban]

What do you have? You don't have enough money to pay for the hundred million dollar lottery ticket.

[Adam Ray]

Oh my God. My single mom would have freaked the fuck out.

[Brian Redban]

Imagine if they said, no, you can't. The lottery is craziest scam.

[Adam Ray]

It's so wild.

[Brian Redban]

It's legalized gambling. Yep. Everybody does it.

[Adam Ray]

But you know what it is? It could be you. That's the slogan that makes people go. I never thought of it like that.

[Brian Redban]

But it's the dumbest scam because you have millions of people trying to win. Like, at least in blackjack you've got like a 40% chance winning. You know, you have like no chance of winning. You're just donating money, hoping that you're the one person out of 5. 5 million.

[Adam Ray]

Maybe even more.

[Brian Redban]

Maybe more.

[Adam Ray]

Sometimes the odds I feel like have been in like the seven billions. It's like there's a better ask.

[Brian Redban]

Let's find out how many people go. Like, let's find a lottery, like a big one. Like, what's a big one?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, Colorado State, maybe one of the.

[Brian Redban]

Big ones that you hear in the news that get to Powerball. Okay, let's say Power Powerballs. What? That's a huge one.

[Adam Ray]

They nailed it with the title too.

[Brian Redban]

Let's guess here. Let's, let's say how, let's find out how much, how many people get paid out and how many people buy lottery tickets. How many lottery tickets are sold? Okay, let's put this into perplexity. We have an AI sponsor that can give us information. So in comments, I talk a lot of sometimes I'm absolutely wrong. So it's super important. That is important to use perplexity. It's crazy when you watch it work too, because you put in a prompt. Can you show how it's working? You put in a prompt and look, it just pulls out all those articles.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

And then bam. Just a fact. Synopsis in seconds.

[Adam Ray]

And a knowledge dropper.

[Brian Redban]

Look at that. Look at that in seconds. That's so crazy, dude. I don't think we realize how nuts.

[Adam Ray]

That it really is. It's because guess what? Even if it was a couple seconds to compute and like process, you'd give it the time and space to figure that out, because.

[Brian Redban]

So here, here it goes. The largest powerball drawing in US history. November 7, 2022. A jackpot of $2.0 billion. Over 100 million tickets were sold for a single major drawing. As the jackpot approached the billion dollar mark. For instance, when the jackpot reached 1.1 billion, in another high profile drawing, America's bought more than 111 million tickets. And similar or greater sales occurred for historical record draws, like the 2.04 billion event. So only one person gets paid?

[Jamie]

No.

[Brian Redban]

Well, though there's smaller jackpots, you can hit a few numbers, so there's 20 million dollar range. Oh, though there's smaller jackpots, how many people get paid out, though? Is it just one person?

[Adam Ray]

It depends. I think there can be multiple winners.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

I mean, you made a million bucks if you hit like all five numbers and not the Powerball.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, Right. So.

[Jamie]

But that doesn't affect the jackpot.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Jamie]

So I guess if you're asking who gets paid out of the jackpot.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

It's a winner take all situation.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Jamie]

But if two people with three people or 10 people get it, it could split even.

[Brian Redban]

So what if you go and get some of the numbers, you get some money.

[Jamie]

You can get some. If you get like one number, you can get like five bucks back.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. They just try to keep you hooked. They just try to keep you on the hook.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And if you get like, let's say you get. So you gotta imagine that if you give them five bucks back, they probably bought 300 tickets at least. So you won anyway.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

So I was gonna bring up this thing that happened. I think it was in Texas. Texas. Someone figured out the loophole of like, no, how many tickets can you buy and how fast can you buy them? And they figured out a way to buy more tickets and they won. They were profitable.

[Adam Ray]

It is a numbers game.

[Jamie]

They had to spend like $25 million or something. But.

[Brian Redban]

Well, is that legal?

[Jamie]

That's where they've gotten into some issues now.

[Brian Redban]

Well, here's the thing. Why? Why isn't it legal if you're just buying tickets? If you have a shitty system.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

If your system sucks. And by the way, your system's been ripping off everybody forever.

[Adam Ray]

Sounds like a personal problem.

[Brian Redban]

And I jump in on that system and give you all this money.

[Adam Ray]

I figured it.

[Brian Redban]

And I win money every time.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe this is on you.

[Brian Redban]

Maybe you don't like when you get scammed. Even scamming us for years. When you sell 111 million tickets for one for one winner, you have 111 million to one. Yeah, that's banana.

[Jamie]

Might not win. And it goes on. It carries over.

[Adam Ray]

I love the stories. Bananas. There was.

[Brian Redban]

So bananas. All right. How's your schedule looking? Feeling busy? Got a lot in the horizon? Well, yeah. It's that time of year when life gets crazy and demands more of your energy. More work, more plans, holiday travel, all while it's getting darker and colder. It can really drain your energy. Or you can get out ahead of it. Listen, I talk a lot about AG1. It's the daily health drink that can help you stay one scoop ahead of all the energy drains coming your way this season. Because the superfoods and B vitamins and every scoop of AG1 supports steady energy production without the crash. In fact, just shaking up one scoop of AG1 in water covers your multivitamin, your pre and probiotics, antioxidants, superfoods, and more. It's one simple step to start your day ahead of anything that might come your way. And that's why I've partnered with them for so long. Subscribe today to get this clinically backed formula in the flavor of your choice, tropical citrus berry or original to help you stay one scoop ahead. If you use my link, you'll also get a free bottle of AG D3K2 and AG1 Welcome Kit, plus a few bonus AG1 travel packs. Just head to drinkag1.com joerogan or visit the link in the description to get started. That's drink ag1.com Joe Rogan it's happened.

[Adam Ray]

A handful of times where like the guy or gal will win and then split it with someone that they like bought the ticket with or said they'd go habsies on. You know, though there's got to be times where somebody did that and like, you know, because I think they usually publicize who won but there's got to be a way, if you won like 2 mil, to keep it kind of hush hush. And then, you know, you. And then the buddy's like, man, if I can't believe we didn't win and you did win and you're like, yeah, I know better look next year.

[Brian Redban]

But like, oh, he's gonna kill you.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So.

[Adam Ray]

Well, and families. I've. Families have been ripped apart from these types of. When they go public and name changes. I mean, I've heard all sorts of. There was a documentary about the lottery from the same guy who did. I think it was Spellbound. Do you ever see that? About the script spelling bee. They followed five kids around the country. It's a brilliant documentary. And it just goes to show you, I mean, they're all different walks of life, kids. And some are, you know, their parents are like spelling. They're all pretty, like, you know, serious about it. But some are very. I think there's a young Indian kid and his parents are like, yeah, spelling his life. And then there's a young white girl and her parents are also very, like, disciplined about, you know, her being on top of this. And then there's a young black girl and her mom is kind of like, if she's happy, she loves doing it. I'm a supporter, you know. But it's all different walks of life and you follow them almost like best in show up until the big events. And then it's the actual spelling bee, which is just, you know, so you've. I mean, you've seen some of these on espn, right? Over the years.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And the pressure, though, is like, what's wild seeing a kid at that age deal with that type of pressure. Like, even though they love it, they're up on that stage. Like, I remember I played the Cowardly lion in fifth grade. Yeah, I freaked the out a. Because I was a fat kid.

[Brian Redban]

I was.

[Adam Ray]

My tits were falling out of the lion suit. I asked for ice cream cake instead of courage when I got to Oz. But like, these kids are having to. There's money on the line. The parents have, like, dedicated. They've flown all across the country, like, anyway. But the guy did a doc about the lottery and how it's the pros and cons, but mostly about how it is like a big scam and stuff. And it's, you know, just kind of a social experiment really.

[Brian Redban]

Well, it's definitely. It's definitely a way to keep people hooked. It's a gambling thing. Yeah, it's. It's one Hundred percent a gambling thing. But it's like very, very profitable for the government.

[Adam Ray]

It is.

[Brian Redban]

But the thing about it is nobody who wins ever gets happy. It's not like everybody who wins, more money, more. I'll say everybody who win. The vast majority of people who win go broke within a very short amount of time.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, really?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. They blow through their money and they wind up getting robbed or something happens. And like, it's. It's not like you've had an unsuccessful financial relationship with, you know, with money and with funds and, you know, being prudent with your expenses.

[Adam Ray]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

And then all sudden you win the lottery and you're like, okay, great, I'm an accountant. I know how to handle this. Now most people are just like barely getting by, and then they win the lottery and they've always been laid on bills and now they're buying a Rolex.

[Adam Ray]

You're going from zero to 60. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You can't adjust to the winner of.

[Jamie]

That 2 billion dollar.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, look at him.

[Adam Ray]

Wow, dude.

[Brian Redban]

Look at him.

[Jamie]

Just a kid from la.

[Brian Redban]

Look how happy that is. You better run, son. Run to Canada. Run to Canada. Go somewhere where they don't know who you are and enjoy your life and lie. Did you lie about where you got your money? Say. Say you got a business, you know, say your dad died and went in on it, whatever. Yeah, Grandpa left you a lot of money. He had gold coins from the war.

[Adam Ray]

No one questions. No one questions old artifacts.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah. Don't say you won the lottery because then people don't think you deserve it. So if you're Jeff Bezos, you made Amazon. There's pictures of you in the garage with its Amazon.com sign above your head.

[Adam Ray]

When you're days.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, the early days. Like, you know, that guy built that shirt. So if he's out there balling, that kind of makes sense.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You know, you see, Jeff Bezos has a giant yacht. You're like, I'd have a yacht.

[Adam Ray]

Totally.

[Brian Redban]

I'd do that. I would do the same thing. So. But when you get the Powerball and all of a sudden you got $2.

[Adam Ray]

Billion just like that, dude.

[Brian Redban]

And by the way, it's not really $2 billion, because it's $2 billion if you live to be like a thousand years old.

[Adam Ray]

But they take it. They take your tax on it a week.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's weird. So they pay out, or you can get all of it in once, in one sum. But it's never the same. It's never the same amount. They give you Way less.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Which is horseshit.

[Adam Ray]

It is.

[Brian Redban]

So if you want to get the $2 billion, it's probably like, how. What is the actual. Let's find this out. What's the actual payout schedule that you can accept either the payments where they just pay you like you're. We got 2 billion coming your way, guaranteed. Promise you. Yeah, we're gonna give you a little every month.

[Adam Ray]

Feels like.

[Brian Redban]

Wait a minute, Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What did you do with the 111 million tickets you sold? Motherfucker? You sold 111 million tickets? What'd you do with that money? Where's that money? How about give me all that?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, no shit are you doing.

[Brian Redban]

What is this?

[Jamie]

30 year annuity option?

[Brian Redban]

30 years.

[Adam Ray]

Wow.

[Brian Redban]

They want to pay you for 30 years.

[Adam Ray]

Would you take that? Or just take nice and slow?

[Brian Redban]

That's the way we do it. See? Nice. Nice.

[Adam Ray]

It is that guy.

[Jamie]

I gotta see this. I didn't. This says this option pays out the full advertised jackpot amount.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, it's a different one.

[Jamie]

I didn't know that. Let me see if that's real, by the way.

[Adam Ray]

That voice.

[Brian Redban]

So there's.

[Adam Ray]

You were doing. That's for sure. The head of the lottery.

[Brian Redban]

Nice.

[Adam Ray]

And a Mr. Burns. Al Pacino type guy.

[Brian Redban]

We're gonna pay him nice and slow.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah. Dude in a Fila jumpsuit.

[Brian Redban]

Some dude just stealing money. He's got a fake Rolex on.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Paying them nice and slow.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

30 years is crazy. If you win the lottery and you're 60, you ain't got 30 years. Especially with lottery money. That kind of cocaine, you gotta take it off. Cocaine and Ferraris. Like, you got lottery money.

[Adam Ray]

What do you think you're doing? Because you. I mean, you're. You're fine. But like, did you ever fantasize about like that. I think it's normal to be a person if you. As long as you've been aware of the lottery. I think everyone has had that conversation.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

What would you do if you won the lottery? I remember having that as a kid and I remember telling my dad I was gonna win the lottery just to fucking. You never have to work it. Like what. How did I even think to. But you just. You hear about it and you're like the idea of. Of just getting rich right away and then not having to do anything. I think is. Is pretty common in this country. Right.

[Brian Redban]

Well, it's a wonderful idea, like, because everybody hates work.

[Adam Ray]

Did you ever think about though, like, when you. Sure.

[Brian Redban]

I played the lottery a bunch of times.

[Adam Ray]

But, like, did you fancy.

[Brian Redban]

I remember how many times I played it. Let me think of how many times. You know, Not a lot of times. I think I've probably played it like, like all told, in my life, like less than 10 times.

[Adam Ray]

What did you write down or say to yourself?

[Brian Redban]

I'm not like a vision board type.

[Adam Ray]

But like, if you got like, let's say you did win like 500 mil and you were in your early 20s or something, or even like, I'd be broke.

[Brian Redban]

I'd be broke and ruined.

[Adam Ray]

You would have gone through it all. You wouldn't have put it. You would have put it away for the fan.

[Brian Redban]

No, no, no, no. I'd be doing a GoFundMe right now. I'd be going on some sad tour. Yeah. People would be like, what about when.

[Adam Ray]

You had all that money?

[Brian Redban]

You, you, you, man. You know what I went through, man.

[Adam Ray]

Joe's doing safaris and stand up for animals.

[Brian Redban]

I think the winning the lottery is bad for you. I know that sounds crazy because if you don't have any money and you want money and maybe, maybe not bad for everybody, but bad for me. Let me say that I think if I won the lottery, it would be bad for me. Yeah. Because I'm the type of dude who needs like a thing to be working on.

[Adam Ray]

Yep.

[Brian Redban]

I like, I have to. I want, I want to improve at stuff. I drive towards things. I'm trying to like, figure things out all the time.

[Adam Ray]

That's a great point.

[Brian Redban]

I all of a sudden not doing that.

[Adam Ray]

Your drive is gone if you win the lottery.

[Brian Redban]

I think especially at a young age. Because if you're like. So let's go back to like when I was like 22. I was 22, was working odd jobs while I was doing stand up at night. I was working for a private investigator. Maybe I was making 20 bucks an hour. Wait, maybe.

[Adam Ray]

Did you really do that?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I drove around a private investigator.

[Adam Ray]

Holy shit.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. He was a good friend for years. Like, he died recently. His name is Dave Dolan. He was. He's the best. I kept one of my old phones just because he left me a message. He used to call himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. He was a hilarious guy. The funniest guy that I've ever met that wasn't a comedian. He was so fun. He was so funny. And the crazy thing is what happened was he lost his license from drunk driving and he put in an ad for private investigators assistant. But really what it was is someone to drive him because he couldn't drive. Yeah, because he was, you know, lost his license. I forget how long, like three months or something like that. So I, I signed up for the job. I meet him, you know, this is back when I was still competing, I was still fighting. So he liked that I could like, people up. Something went sideways.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And so then we would go. And most of it was insurance fraud. It was mostly like catching people, like doing things like pretending their back was hurt. Then you catch them carrying roof shingles up a ladder. It was a lot of that. People, they, they get hurt, like working for an airline. This one lady, oh, this was so sad because she let us into her house. I felt so bad. We would, it was a scam. And the scam was Dave would show up and say, ma', am, my girlfriend was in an accident. And when the police took the license plate of the witness, someone spilled coffee on the report. And it's confusing which letters are the last letters and one of them is yours. We got these two. They weren't right. We're hoping it's you. And they were like, what's, what's wrong with your girlfriend? And he goes, well, she's got this injury, which is exactly the same injury that this lady had that she was supposedly getting that she was, you know, disabled from. And so she's like, oh my God, I had the same thing. And he goes, I hope you're getting paid. And she goes, oh, yeah. Not only am I getting paid by insurance, but I'm also working under my maiden name. He's like, oh, that's great. And she goes, would you like to come in, in the house and have some coffee? She's the nicest lady. She had us in her house. We were two strangers.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, go.

[Brian Redban]

Some fucking thick looking Irish dude with a mustache, that's Dave and me, like this 21 year old kid with a fucking crew cut and you're just letting us into your house, giving us coffee. I'm like, she's so nice, man. We can't do that. We got it. We got to pretend this didn't happen. He's like, fuck her. She goes, fucking thief. That lady's a fucking thief. Fuck her.

[Adam Ray]

I was like, oh, gotta be ice cold on that.

[Brian Redban]

I can't do this. I only did it for a few months, but that's all he needed me for really. But we became friends.

[Adam Ray]

What a life, dude.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, he was an interesting cat, man. He was a fun. One of the guys, there was a guy who thought his girlfriend was cheating on him or wife. I forget and so it feels like.

[Adam Ray]

A lot of the cases they get hired for, right?

[Brian Redban]

Like, sure. But mostly what Dave did was insurance stuff because they. They had the most amount of cases. It was all about fight. It's just. It's just a numbers thing.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So this one was, I think my girl's cheating on me. So he hires Dave to this. His wife was hooking up with this fucking barbarian, this dude, who's this big old bodybuilder dude. And he was just pounding her. And Dave had to take pictures. And then he, like, brought the pictures of them. Fucking brought the pictures to the guy. And then the guy was like, like, well, keep following her. He's like, you. He's like, I don't know what kind of kink you're into. Like, this is this like a. Are you.

[Adam Ray]

This should be enough.

[Brian Redban]

No, it was almost like he was into it. It was almost like they were playing a game. Like a cuck game.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Redban]

It was.

[Adam Ray]

You know, maybe I'm cheating on you. Maybe you should hire a private investigator and see the pictures.

[Brian Redban]

The guy just, like, the girl was the. The lady was very hot and he was very not hot. And then there was this bodybuilder guy. Fuck.

[Adam Ray]

Dude. It is funny you say that. My brain immediately went to, if my wife was cheating on me. That would be the worst version. Just a huge guy. Because, like, if it's Shaq, you go, if we do get back together, there's no way. Well, you're not, by the way. But, like, if you do, like, you just. You can't go back in there.

[Brian Redban]

Right? It's over.

[Adam Ray]

I mean, I see Shaq now with, like, when there's pictures of a him next to his, like, girls he's dated. I'm like, like, is that. That should be illegal, but I guess. I don't know. He's gentle. I don't know. How do you. How do you do that? I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

You gotta ask him.

[Adam Ray]

Have you jack on?

[Brian Redban]

No. I'd love to have him. I love that dude factor with me.

[Adam Ray]

No way.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. He co hosted Fear Factor one day, one episode.

[Adam Ray]

That would be an unbelievable conversation.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. It was like me and him hanging. I had a joke. I was. It was like a six year old hanging out with his dad. The size of it. I had a joke about a lady guarding the White House because it was during the Obama administration. A guy broke in the White House and they had a lady, an unarmed lady at the front door. And I had this whole joke about, like, not everybody can guard The White House. And, like, listen, I've met Shaquille o'. Neal. His dick is where my face is. I'm like, if the White House is experiencing a shack attack, I'm the wrong dude to save the world. Oh, my God, he's just gonna run over me. He's too big.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You know, but that guy, when you're hanging out with him, you're like, okay, giants are real. Like, there's real giants in the world. Like, look at this.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, you did at uni, too? That's awes.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah, it was fun. But he's a fan of the show. He was real cool.

[Adam Ray]

That's awesome.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I see him at the UFC all the time too. Imagine that guy got into MMA because he's a martial artist. He practices.

[Adam Ray]

That's right.

[Brian Redban]

There's some good video of him working out, like, kicking pads and punching mitts. And he's got technique.

[Adam Ray]

Is it cool from your perspective when people like that jump into that art form? Are you just like, yeah, no, I love it.

[Brian Redban]

I want everybody to do it. It's good for your brain. And don't do it because you want to be Billy Badass, but do it because it. It's like, the best way of releasing aggression and making you a n. It sounds crazy, I know.

[Adam Ray]

No, it makes sense.

[Brian Redban]

Like, hitting something like a bag. You don't have to hit a person. Hit a heavy bag. Just boom, boom, boom, boom. You get all that out of your system.

[Adam Ray]

Wow.

[Brian Redban]

Look at him next to Francis Ngannou. That's former UFC heavyweight champion Francis Ngannou, who is a giant man standing next to Shaq. And Shaq towers over him.

[Adam Ray]

I mean, it's.

[Brian Redban]

It's too big for the ufc. If Shaq. Yeah, if the UFC was around when Shaq. No, no. He, like, literally is physically too big. Big.

[Adam Ray]

Oh.

[Brian Redban]

Like, the UFC is a 265 pound weight limit for the heavyweight division, which is kind of crazy. Yeah, heavyweight should be as big as you get. It should be like. I think it should be, like, 225 and up. That's what I think. I think there's not enough weight classes, but that's a separate conversation. But Shaq is way bigger than 265.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, 350 maybe.

[Brian Redban]

He probably would have to cut 80 pounds to make the UFC's weight limit.

[Adam Ray]

I think he was under three when he got in the league. He was real slender, which is crazy to be that big and be that fast. The fact that he did what he did in the NBA is really Wild.

[Brian Redban]

Giant super athletes, which is like the difference between the NBA, the NFL and then the ufc. Yeah, there's like the UFC doesn't get many guys like that.

[Adam Ray]

Right?

[Brian Redban]

Most of like super athletes when they're kids, they go into football, they go into baseball, they go into basketball. That's where the money is, you know, For a lot of them.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Like way more. Like there's way more spots probably for football players for ufc. Like how many, how many professional football players are there in the NFL?

[Jamie]

I mean, there's 53 per team and let's find out.

[Adam Ray]

Over a thousand.

[Brian Redban]

Don't make me do math. I'm stupid.

[Adam Ray]

That's why we do this.

[Jamie]

That's just that there's also. There's practice squads. There's another 12 or 15 on our practice squad.

[Brian Redban]

Okay, let's put it into perplexity. Find out how many overall players are employed by the NFL and then do.

[Adam Ray]

It for NBA, MLB, badminton, 10. And cricket, croquet, Chinese sports and checkers. Parcheesi.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Uno tournaments, pyramid, billiards.

[Jamie]

Number for the NFL could get way bigger because there's guys that you know are half retired and only play like three games a year.

[Brian Redban]

Okay, so what do you.

[Adam Ray]

If you had a guess, 53 times what. There's 30.

[Brian Redban]

Jamie knows a lot about stats.

[Jamie]

There'd be probably 22,000.

[Brian Redban]

22,000?

[Jamie]

Oh, no, no, no, not 20. I was gonna say 2500 or 2000. 2000 is probably a fair number.

[Brian Redban]

And is that. That's just NFL. Correct. And then you have XFL. How many people are employed by the XFL?

[Adam Ray]

Great question. And baseball is a 53. No, baseball's 53 man roster for baseball.

[Jamie]

Baseball is way less, like 25.

[Brian Redban]

So for UFC, just UFC, I think right now they have 600 fighters under contract. MC Maynard texted me about this is.

[Jamie]

Recently 1700 players rosters and then another 400 who can move around.

[Brian Redban]

Okay, so that's a good. So that's NFL. That's just NFL.

[Adam Ray]

What a crap.

[Brian Redban]

So it's essentially 2000ish.

[Jamie]

So 550 in the NBA.

[Brian Redban]

Okay.

[Adam Ray]

The draft each year is probably another. Yet another 30 to 40.

[Brian Redban]

Also you have to take into account that a lot of kids, you play football in school. Right. So if you're going to play football, you play football in high school, play football in college, and they go in early. Yeah, but it's a sport that everybody plays and it's normal to do. Like everybody in the neighborhood plays. If you play baseball, everybody in the neighborhood plays. You, you, all you Play in middle school, you play in high school, mma. You got to go to a gym, you got to learn, you got to.

[Adam Ray]

Get a solo sport.

[Brian Redban]

You're going to get kicked in the nuts more than once. You're going to get punched in the face, you know, is going to be bloody. You're going to have a headache. You're going to have sore joints because people are trying to break your arms. And you're showing up at school every day going, what am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? So it's hard to get a kid. Kid that can also play basketball really well to decide, I'm gonna let someone kick my shins out from under me.

[Adam Ray]

I don't know what kid would do that.

[Brian Redban]

And also gotta be a kid that only wants that. Yeah, it's got to be a kid that watches the ufc. That is me.

[Adam Ray]

Like, Tiger woods was golfing, what, at like, three, two or three? Right, right. It's so not that you would be doing UFC or MMA at that age, but. What is the. But you would.

[Brian Redban]

Because a lot of people who have sons and daughters that are really into it, they start training them. A lot of these fighters train their kids at an.

[Adam Ray]

I remember having, like, you know, wrestlemania type, like, stuffed animals and wrestling with them at, like, 5, 6, 7. But it didn't obviously turn into a passion, but like, that. At least it was, like, at that age of, like, rough housing and throwing shit around and, like, trying to beat somebody up. But I guess to take a shot to the dick as a kid, like, yeah, you got to be made of steel.

[Brian Redban]

Well, you. I think generally it's either your parents encourage you to do it early and you do, like, traditional martial arts, and you get kind of excited about it, and then you start watching the UFC as you get older, and then maybe you start doing some other stuff. Like, maybe you start out in jiu jitsu, and then you work your way to a little Muay Thai. And then as you're like, 13, 14, you probably start thinking, I think I want to fight. Yeah, that's what happens with a lot of these guys.

[Adam Ray]

You're probably not taking in school, by the way. Like, if your teacher's like, martin, I saw you weren't paying attention. You're like, I'm bleeding out of my dick, lady. You know, like, you're just. You've seen. You've gone through some where you're like, this is not my biggest concern right now.

[Brian Redban]

Well, it's definitely not your biggest concern, but it's also boring. That's the real problem when you do exciting things when you're young, you can't parse it out in your head and go, I know I have to do this boring thing because this is about school. Yeah. This is really important when you're doing this exciting thing. You're, you know, kicking people's heads off. This is way more fun. I don't want to. I don't care about history.

[Adam Ray]

Did you play baseball?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, Yeah, I did.

[Adam Ray]

What position?

[Brian Redban]

You know, I wasn't very good, so I was an outfielder. But one thing I did do is I hit. I either hit home runs or I struck out.

[Adam Ray]

Let's go.

[Brian Redban]

Because I would never just try to get on base. The coach would always say, just try to get on base. Just try. I'd be like, right, that's cool. I hated team sports. I was not a good team player in that regard because, I mean, I was good in that I tried to catch balls. Yeah. And I would try to make.

[Adam Ray]

I bet you were a fun teammate though, right? You were a jokester.

[Brian Redban]

But I was also like, I am going to hit the. Out of this ball.

[Adam Ray]

Come on.

[Brian Redban]

Because I hit my first home run. I think when I was like 12 or something. Like, I was like, oh, this is way better. I was like, this is way better than just hitting a ball. As you get bigger and stronger, as you. And you get a little bit more coordinated and you feel what it's like to really connect and get your body into that.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But that really translated into martial arts too, because learning how to hit things hard, I think it helped that I learned how to hit a baseball hard.

[Adam Ray]

Is there a correlation with like the. The torque and the lower half twisting? Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

100. Because when you're hitting a baseball, like, I was never a great baseball player. Okay. I was just a kid who knew how to hit a ball hard. Still, I wasn't a good baseball player.

[Adam Ray]

Hand, eye coordination.

[Brian Redban]

But there was a thing about, about this, about this timing.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

This crap like that. That translated directly into kicking things. Like, directly. So I think learning that at an early age, I was like, oh, it's like a body. It's a timing thing, but it's like a whip of your body. Yeah. And that's the exact same thing with kicking my.

[Adam Ray]

My buddy. I'm actually wearing his hoodie. Cal Raleigh, his nickname is the Big Dumper. And he had. He just lost the MVP to Aaron Judge by like four votes. But he had. And it was a big dispute, big debate. Because he's a switch hitting catcher. He's a catcher. He hit 60 home runs this year, the most by any catcher ever. He the most by any switch hitting catcher, switch hitting player. He broke. He just broke so many records. Aaron Judge ultimately won the MVP because statistically he was outrageous in so many categories. But it was a big debate. I'm biased, cow's the man. But also, you know, a catcher is handling so much more during the game. Aaron Judge played the outfield and then Aaron Judge looks like if Four Loko grew into a person. Cal Raleigh is like you want to have a Bud Light with. He's a fucking everyman. He won the Home Run Derby. His dad who was his high school baseball coach was throwing pitches to him during. It was a better story for baseball. But I actually want to get your opinion on this if you are going because I think the writers were just like stats like cal batted like 2:46. Judge was like like 380 something I think to end the year. But again Cal like broke all these records and for a catcher and like made baseball cool and like put, you know, gave a position a lot more love. And he's calling the whole game. He has to know the whole pitching staff. He comes in early, he's. He's catching the game. Which is why it's unheard of for a catcher to be that offensively, you know, powerful. But he ultimately lost and a lot of people were bummed out about it. And I guess my question to you is if you were one of those like, if you're assessing stuff like that, do you take into account like you know, what someone's impact for the game is or would you just go like no, no. Who had the best stats and that's the mvp.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. It's a good conversation.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, right.

[Brian Redban]

It's a good conversation.

[Adam Ray]

Do you follow base well enough to with that?

[Brian Redban]

I don't move on. But objectively I would say go with the best stats. The guy who played the best, I guess the most valuable player.

[Adam Ray]

But a switch hitting catch, look, it's.

[Brian Redban]

A very valuable thing. It's just not the most valuable thing.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

You know they gave a of credit to is like judges in New York on the Yankees and they get so much press and so much love. And Seattle's up here in the corner right. Furthest away like right. Everyone's just like isn't that the fucking coffee sound garden place? And it's like there's a catcher up there. I mean. Yeah, I don't know. I don't. That stuff I think does matter. The. The national attention. But I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

There was a guy that was a really good baseball player that became a martial artist and had a wicked right hand. This Japanese guy, Takanori Gomi. And great name. Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

This dude, he was a martial arts and. Oh, and play baseball.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, he was a pitcher. And, like, that's how he started off. And he just had a whip to his right hand. And you think about, like, how fast a pitcher moves his body. And I'm sure you've seen that one where. What's the dude's name that killed the bird?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, Randy Johnson, bro. That's a former Mariner.

[Brian Redban]

That clip is amazing. It's unbelievable. It's insane.

[Adam Ray]

I know.

[Brian Redban]

It's once in a billion. It's very sad, but it's a once in a billion thing in a trillion, Joe.

[Adam Ray]

The timing of that. First of all, birds fly through stadiums like, you know, every now and then. And also, you have the fastest throwing pitcher arguably in the history of the game.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

Throw at his peak. His peak throwing, I think 100.

[Brian Redban]

Throwing heat.

[Adam Ray]

Can you imagine that? And he hits that bird right before that. Do you think that bird. I mean, I don't know. Do they have thoughts?

[Brian Redban]

Stupid brain.

[Adam Ray]

Looking for seeds, looking for seeds.

[Brian Redban]

That bird, that bird. That bird existed for that moment.

[Adam Ray]

It did.

[Brian Redban]

The universe wanted us to see it. The bird was virtually pulverized and killed instantly. Famously, Johnson was sued by PETA for the obvious freak accident.

[Jamie]

Sued?

[Brian Redban]

That's insane.

[Adam Ray]

And look at this. Johnson resents the way he's remembered as the Bird Killer.

[Brian Redban]

Randy, you gotta let it go.

[Adam Ray]

His nickname was the Big Unit when he was in Seattle.

[Brian Redban]

No, I. I remember that guy.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, that's wild. And then there's the famous. As if we're talking bird accidents. Fabio on the roller coaster. Remember that?

[Brian Redban]

No, what happened with Fabio? Open by a bird. Oh, man, this is unbelievable.

[Adam Ray]

He's opening a roller coaster at some theme park. I want to say Great America. And he's on the beginning, and he's like, hello, Fabio here. I can't wait to ride the roller coaster. And. Oh, man. And somewhere in the journey, a bird flies out of nowhere and breaks his nose. Dude. Yep. Boom. Feathers and all.

[Brian Redban]

That's crazy.

[Adam Ray]

So everyone's like, what happened? Yeah. And then he goes on ABC to talk about it.

[Brian Redban]

A goose. It was a goose.

[Adam Ray]

His look.

[Brian Redban]

Goose are big.

[Adam Ray]

He's like, I can't believe it's not butter, but I can't believe that bird had a vengeance against my face. He was the butter guy, remember?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, that's right. He was the romance novel guy too, right?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Dude, what a life.

[Brian Redban]

Wild chicks like reading their porn, you know that.

[Adam Ray]

Great premise.

[Brian Redban]

It's true.

[Adam Ray]

It is.

[Brian Redban]

It is true. Like guys, like before porn.

[Adam Ray]

That's what it was.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, well, girls have always been into erotic literature and some of it's like that. You remember the 50 shades of gray stuff?

[Adam Ray]

Come on, man. That was like.

[Brian Redban]

All of a sudden, ladies wanted to get spit on and chok. Like, what's happening? My friends would tell me these stories. Like she told me to spit in her mouth. I was like, what?

[Adam Ray]

Did you do it? I know. My stepdad was like, your mom wants me to push her against the drywall. I was like, what the fuck? This is an insight.

[Brian Redban]

It was real weird for a while, but then it kind of died off and went back into the shadows. But romance novels, like pornographic romance, that.

[Adam Ray]

Was the first way.

[Brian Redban]

But they're not pornographic. Like visually even like the way they depict sex is like. Like a feminine way of doing it. But.

[Adam Ray]

But 50 shades of gray I think was.

[Brian Redban]

That was graphic.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

What the.

[Brian Redban]

What the was that all about, ladies? What are you hiding? And then there was the Twilight one. You want a vampire that loves you?

[Adam Ray]

I'll never understand that. Yeah, I'll never.

[Brian Redban]

Some dude who kills people, I guess it's not. Sucks their blood. He's been around for 1700 years. You're only 16. The whole relationship is disgusting. This is disgusting. You're a thousand years old. Sixteen year old old girlfriend. This is. What do you talk about?

[Adam Ray]

Also the werewolves and like the. Yeah, just having.

[Brian Redban]

He was alive when Cleopatra was here and he's talking to a 17 year old. This is stupid.

[Adam Ray]

Would you judge someone more that was into vampires or feet?

[Brian Redban]

Vampires for sure.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Feet's not that weird.

[Adam Ray]

It's not that weird.

[Brian Redban]

It's kind of, you know, they're cute, they look good. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

You could justify feet.

[Brian Redban]

It makes sense, I guess.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

The vampire one is nuts.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Like how. How old was the vampire in Twilight Light? He wasn't that old.

[Adam Ray]

They're high school maybe, right?

[Brian Redban]

No, but he wasn't that old. Like I was saying, he was a lot from Cleopatra. That was. It was. He's really probably only like supposed to be a couple hundred years old, right? Is that the case?

[Jamie]

I never saw. I thought he was supposed to be old though.

[Brian Redban]

At least a hundred. Imagine a 100 year old guy pretending he's. He's got to pretend and hang out in high school. That's how he fits in. Yeah, that's how he fits in. 100 y old guy's gonna force himself to go to high school.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Jamie]

Was it 104?

[Brian Redban]

104. Okay. He said in high school, by the way, hanging out.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, he didn't even.

[Brian Redban]

Handsome.

[Adam Ray]

As handsome as dude, but super pale. Something was up.

[Brian Redban]

Well, you're in Seattle. You can get away with it.

[Adam Ray]

Totally. I went to the. I think it was opening night of Twilight when I did this movie the heat. It was after Bridesmaids. Paul Feet did this movie called the heat with Sandra Bullock and Meliss McCarthy. It's like a big, you know, buddy cop. And I played one of the bad guys. First big movie, summer blockbuster. I'm like, like, I heard the trailer was being played during Twilight and I was like, never see myself in a trailer. So my buddy's like, we got to go to. It was like, they're playing the R rated trailer, the red trailer. So we go to Twilight on like opening night at the Arc Light in. In Hollywood. Rip. And. And it's just all like, what, I don't know, 10 to 16 year old girls, the whole theater and then just me and my buddy just baked out of our minds, like very out of place. And everything's coming on. They're like announcing all the cast. All the girls are going nuts. But by the way, they didn't play the. The trailer at all. So we're sitting there and he's like. I'm like, all right, let's get the fuck out of. I don't want to watch Twilight. He's like, well, we're here. We should watch. I'm like, best of luck. And I bounce. So I've never seen it. Any of the Twilight movies.

[Brian Redban]

They're not terrible.

[Adam Ray]

They're not.

[Brian Redban]

They're not terrible, but they're odd. And I don't necessarily think they're made for boys. I think it's a weird lady.

[Adam Ray]

It is. Notice. Yeah, it's for the girls.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

What's our equivalent?

[Brian Redban]

It's a weird lady fantasy, but it's very odd that there's a vampire movie movie that's specifically for ladies.

[Adam Ray]

You know what our equivalent is?

[Brian Redban]

What?

[Adam Ray]

Weird science.

[Brian Redban]

The show?

[Adam Ray]

No, the movie Weird science. Remember when the two guys make the woman on their computer?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, that's right.

[Adam Ray]

Come on, dude. Anthony Michael Hall.

[Brian Redban]

I forgot about that.

[Adam Ray]

Great movie. Jamie, who's that lady? Jimmy, pull up the whole movie. Let's watch the whole movie.

[Brian Redban]

That lady is very beautiful. Who was that?

[Jamie]

Kelly LeBrock.

[Brian Redban]

Kelly LeBrock.

[Adam Ray]

British, I think she was.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, she was the super hottie back in the day.

[Adam Ray]

That was the lab, bro. That was one of the first movies I remember seeing being like, okay, what is this dick really for Weird Science. Great. Oh, yeah, dude.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, not Anthony Michael. Oh, wait, no, that's a remake. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, there was a TV show.

[Adam Ray]

And was that Bill Paxton is the Crazy brother? Yeah, dude who made that? John Hughes. Come on. Just had his finger on the pulse of cool.

[Brian Redban]

Wow. How did they make it her? What was the ingredients?

[Adam Ray]

It was just great question, you know, was. You sound like one of the parents trying to recreate her. So how'd they make that girl, by the way? Is Wyatt and Gary. I give her digious mammary glance.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, look, they have a computer.

[Adam Ray]

Something out of this world. Yeah, dude.

[Brian Redban]

Alive.

[Jamie]

What would you little maniacs like to do first?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God. That's her opening question. Weird Science.

[Brian Redban]

If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle. Not us, not here.

[Adam Ray]

No way she is turning their lives.

[Brian Redban]

Trust me for once, will you?

[Adam Ray]

What is going on?

[Brian Redban]

I don't know you. Their minds trailer is crazy.

[Adam Ray]

She just wanted to make them cool, right?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She didn't even want to. No.

[Adam Ray]

You know, they must have been like, dude, did you not put in the right code? She's here to, like, take us to dinner.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Why would you stop with that? Let's try one that doesn't talk as much. Let's try the next one.

[Adam Ray]

I think they just did it on their computer. It was just like a bunch of.

[Brian Redban]

So easy to do back then.

[Adam Ray]

Such a funny thing, too. Like, we were just so trusting. We're like, that's probably how you do it if you're going to do it.

[Brian Redban]

Stupid is just put a bunch of numbers in a computer and your door to your bedroom explodes.

[Adam Ray]

Make the boobs bigger.

[Brian Redban]

That's so ridiculous.

[Adam Ray]

Crazy.

[Brian Redban]

It's funny because people probably thought one day.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And that they might be right.

[Jamie]

According to the plot, they. They hacked some. They hooked some electrodes up and they hack into a government computer system for more power.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, for more power. Awesome, dude. Believable plot table for one.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, as long as we have more power. More lady.

[Adam Ray]

But I guess when you're watching that. Yeah. You're just like, that's. Yeah, that's.

[Brian Redban]

What are the odds that it makes a hot lady? Like, what are the odds that that works? First time ever. Two high school kids figured out and we were like, take my money. Tell Me this amazing story.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah, dude, I'm surprised it was no scary movie type parody of that. Of them, like making the wrong gal or something, you know?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

Like John Goodman in a. In a wig comes out.

[Brian Redban]

What year was that?

[Jamie]

85.

[Adam Ray]

85. Good for us.

[Brian Redban]

What year was Soul man?

[Jamie]

Probably like 89.

[Adam Ray]

Soul Man. I haven't seen Soul Man.

[Brian Redban]

86.

[Adam Ray]

What's that?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, okay, go to that. Yeah, Soul Man.

[Jamie]

See Thomas. How.

[Brian Redban]

See, Thomas Howell pretends to be black. So you go to a different school.

[Jamie]

Like he. I forget how.

[Brian Redban]

What. What the.

[Adam Ray]

Wait.

[Brian Redban]

What up, bro? No, bro, it's crazy.

[Adam Ray]

Julia. Louie.

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Adam Ray]

It's not even good. Oh, God.

[Brian Redban]

What?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, man.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Julia Louise Dreyfus is James Earl's in it, bro.

[Adam Ray]

How did he sign off on this?

[Brian Redban]

Because people didn't know any better back then.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, our right, fair enough.

[Brian Redban]

They didn't. They were basically just climbing out of the caves and they were like, what year is this?

[Jamie]

He intentionally takes too many tanning pills to turn his skin darker and gets.

[Brian Redban]

A scholarship meant for African American tanning pills. He took tanning pills? Like, as if they had tanning pills back then.

[Adam Ray]

Is that pre tanning bed? What a dude. Again.

[Jamie]

Peptide now.

[Adam Ray]

Now do you think somebody.

[Brian Redban]

Peptide now. That can actually give you a tan? What does it do? Does it like just jack up your melanin?

[Jamie]

Yeah, what's it called?

[Brian Redban]

Somebody give that to Rachel dolls. I'll see if they take her back.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God. Did somebody pitch a. Do you think somebody was like, we got. We need a blackface movie, but what's the story? And they're like, well, it was a common. He wants to be tan. He takes too many tans too hard. It was a cut. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And he can't get in the scholarship any other way. Is that.

[Adam Ray]

That must have be.

[Brian Redban]

Is that part of it?

[Adam Ray]

I guess, right? So he got a scholarship.

[Brian Redban]

Studies.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Do you have to be African American stuff? Study African American studies. That doesn't even.

[Adam Ray]

Finding some holes in this.

[Brian Redban]

That's just as bad as weird science. This is. This is more science fiction.

[Jamie]

I found an New York Times 1985 article talking about warning pills about getting an early tan. They had pills for getting a tan back then.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa. What did it do? I know, like carrots will do that to you.

[Jamie]

It says FDA replied can the next. And then it is not approved for use to be ingested for. To color the human body.

[Brian Redban]

What? In oral tanning products. The use of canaxin in. In oral tanning products is illegal. Tanning products have been seized under the provisions of the Food, Drug and Cosmetic act and further attempts to import these. Tanning product. Oh, it's all imported. FDA warns that tanning pills contain food colorings that accumulate in the blood, skin, fatty tissue and organs such as the liver. They even cause the user's skin to acquire. And they often cause the user's skin to acquire an orange tint. I didn't take the pills. I took no pills. They told me to take the pills. I said, I don't need it.

[Adam Ray]

I took a lot of those pills. I took two male's pills.

[Brian Redban]

Wouldn't you love the Biden cocktail? What they would give him when he would have to do like press conferences or a debate? The debate cocktail must. Must be extraordinary.

[Adam Ray]

It was just Capri sun and Plan B gummies probably.

[Brian Redban]

Must be extraordinary. What happened? This guy get a real tan? Not a fake orange tan. Suntan pills. You can get a real tan.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

That, that guy looks. Yeah, he went from like white guy to.

[Jamie]

That's not right. I know. It's not real.

[Brian Redban]

No, they put a filter on his ass. But they used to be able to sell anything in the back of magazines and it would just be a total scam.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, really?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

You knew it was a scam just because it was in the back of the mag or what.

[Brian Redban]

X ray goggles and all kinds of.

[Adam Ray]

That didn't like Sky Mall shit.

[Brian Redban]

No, it was like the back of stupid magazines. They're just fake ads. There was no rules back then. People just scam people sell you things. That was totally Horeshit. And you're like, you're stupid enough to send your money through the mail.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You never got anything back.

[Adam Ray]

I'll see some of that stuff on Amazon every now and then where I'm like, how is this up there? Like, there's certain.

[Brian Redban]

Amazon has a lot of fake products. Unfortunately, there's a. A lot of fake supplements that are sold on Amazon.

[Adam Ray]

No way.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. So if you buy from a. A major company like Pure Encapsulation, why.

[Jamie]

Don'T they filter trend again somehow?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, Tik tok trend again. Tanning pills. They're taking it again.

[Adam Ray]

It's not surprising. We love our pills, America. What do we love? Our free speech and our pills. McDonald's.

[Brian Redban]

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[Jamie]

That's what I was like. That's what I did. That's what this.

[Brian Redban]

It's only guy was.

[Jamie]

I don't this.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, but there's got to be like some modern people. Are those. That one's AI in the second row, right. With that girl with the crazy eyes. So this guy took it maybe. Interesting.

[Jamie]

He could have also just put tanning lotion.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing too. It's like those before and after weight loss things. It's like was it really the product.

[Brian Redban]

Or did you just, you know, we were talking about last night, Brendan Schaub and I, one time we were watching these bodybuilders and you know, bodybuilders used to dye all of their skin, including their face.

[Adam Ray]

For what?

[Brian Redban]

Well, the more, the darker your skin is, the more contrast, the more it shows your muscles.

[Adam Ray]

Gotcha.

[Brian Redban]

So when they get like real shredded and they, they dye their skin like.

[Adam Ray]

Super dark, I always wondered why they were all so.

[Brian Redban]

But now after the woke stuff, it's become offensive to dye your face. So they dye their whole body and they leave their face white. So they have chocolate body, full chocolate body, white face. It's so silly. So silly. It's like, what are you doing? What is this craziness?

[Adam Ray]

Who complained about that?

[Brian Redban]

Look at him. Look how kooky that is. That's not even the kookiest. There's some really kooky ones where people have white. White faces.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, what do you do?

[Brian Redban]

There's a whole video of me and chop, like, with a. With a bunch of different examples of it where we thought it was really funny, man.

[Adam Ray]

The discipline of the bodybuilders.

[Brian Redban]

Weird. Because they. Yeah, like, look at that guy. That's. Oh, my God, ridiculous. Because he can't do his face like that because he looks fully black.

[Adam Ray]

So now you just have to accept that this is how they're all gonna come out and look on stage and just.

[Brian Redban]

Well, that guy went for it. He's like, I'm going blackface.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, that's bered, Brian.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. You can kind of go brown face, but if you want to get full chocolate body, like, some guys go full dark, dude, like, so dark. They. They could be, like, straight from Cameroon.

[Adam Ray]

Can I.

[Brian Redban]

That guy's pretty dark right there. I mean, look at those quads. That's.

[Adam Ray]

I just want to know, like. And I mean no disrespect by this. What, What, Why? Why? Like, what makes you want to have. There was a girl I went to elementary school with, and she, for a little bit, became a bodybuilder. And I think you. I looked at as she had kids. I think she was maybe midlife crisis and was just like, I want to do something where I push myself and get into shredded, amazing shape is how I viewed it from a Facebook vantage point. But, like, is this in you as a kid? Is it like you have a thirst for working out and then you just go too far, far? Or is it the same way we, like, stand up and have an addiction to that and a love for it? Is it really, like, I want to compete and win. Win at this. It's not just about looking good. It's about, like, having the best instrument and competing against other bodies and having the best body. Is that.

[Brian Redban]

Well, litter is a bodybuilding competition.

[Adam Ray]

Right? But, like, why, like, to have your legs look like that? What is the.

[Brian Redban]

Different people like different things. Adam Ray.

[Adam Ray]

All right.

[Brian Redban]

You know, and they clearly like being jacked. Yeah, they like looking like that. They like being. They look like a living human Incredible Hulk. Yeah, they like it.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You know, and there's.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, there's still just people.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, it's. People have always been fascinated by extreme bodies. That's why pumping iron was such A big film. People are fascinated by people that are willing to do this and go. Go that far with something.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Here's the question, though. What bothers you about it? Does it bother you?

[Adam Ray]

Like, nothing bothers me.

[Brian Redban]

Time. Why would you want to do that? That.

[Adam Ray]

I guess. Why. I guess it's just so far.

[Brian Redban]

Here's my question.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

If they had a pill and I give you this pill and all of a sudden you look like that. Are you taking it or not?

[Adam Ray]

Well, let me.

[Brian Redban]

No work.

[Adam Ray]

So when I.

[Brian Redban]

It's the lottery and a pill.

[Adam Ray]

So let me. Let me answer that question with. When I played Vince McMahon on the rock show about his life for a few seasons on NBC, I got a trainer to bulk up. I got. I got a little bigger. Not Vince big, but there was a moment. Moment where a friend of mine came to me and was like, there's an easy way and there's a not an easy way. And I was like, what's easy way? And he did suggest, like, some crazy. And I was like, I don't think I want to be. Look like that unless the show really asked me, but I don't think I would.

[Brian Redban]

Would you want to look like Canelo Alvarez? Sure. Yeah. Sitting a pill?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. You take that?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You take really good muscular physique. Nothing crazy.

[Adam Ray]

Nothing crazy. Crazy.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. And no judgment. Maybe. I.

[Brian Redban]

But you would take that pill, right?

[Adam Ray]

Sure.

[Jamie]

All right.

[Adam Ray]

I guess I'm more impressed.

[Brian Redban]

I guess when Vince was 100 years.

[Adam Ray]

Old, I'm more impressed by the. I guess the discipline of. Of what you must have to do. Because I know that it's not just like taking stuff to make your legs look that defined and muscular.

[Brian Redban]

Like, there's to be that guy. Yeah. At his age. That's bananas. Because, like, you look at Vince McMahon, man's build. I don't give a How old he is. I don't care if he's 80. I don't care if he's 40. Like, if you're built that way, you're putting in hours, period. You're putting in hours. There's no way around it. Like, steroids don't make you grow. They make you recover.

[Adam Ray]

Yep.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, they do make you grow a little. I think if you. I think the. If you just took them and didn't do any work at all. I think they do put some muscle on you, but that kind of muscle is. Is continual work over decades. That guy's super Jack. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

That's why I'm so split on the baseball steroid stuff. Where it's like Barry Bonds. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

He took the only thing fun about the game. Give him the roids, let him hit the ball. Are we stupid? Do you want to compete with China or no? That's so funny, America. Do we have the means? Yes, we do. Do we know how it works? Yes, we do. But what are we doing? Skin skinny. What do we got all these skinny hitters for?

[Adam Ray]

That's so funny. Oh, we gotta make sure no one's cheating.

[Brian Redban]

Make it legal.

[Adam Ray]

Hit all the home runs.

[Brian Redban]

Make it legal. Make it mandatory. I want every baseball player to be roided out of his mind. Just giant superhero looking dudes who crush it into the fucking parking lot crack. I want baseball bats broken like 5 out of 10 games.

[Adam Ray]

Greg Giraldo had a great old joke. He goes, I want Barry Bonds to come out as one giant chest muscle. And he was saying how it's so fucked that congress was like cracking down on that and taking away records. He goes, you're taking away records? He goes. He goes. You know what else he goes, because they say it's an illicit substance. You know what else is an illicit substance? Crack cocaine. No one's taking gold records away from Whitney Houston. One of my favorite Gerardo jokes. Come on. But he's right. I mean, and you're right. I think. I mean, it is.

[Brian Redban]

I did a TV show with Barry Bonds. I did.

[Adam Ray]

Please yours.

[Brian Redban]

There was a show that I did a baseball show called Hardball. I played this baseball player in one of the episodes. It was. Barry Bonds was like the guest for the day. Super nice guy.

[Adam Ray]

Cool.

[Brian Redban]

But he was normal sized Barry Bonds back then.

[Adam Ray]

Still ripping it, by the way.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. Still like one of the best baseball players of all time. And super nice guy. Yeah. Real friendly to everybody. It was just like, holy, that's Barry Bonds. Like this show must be for real. It wasn't for real. Canceled. Show died. But we did get Barry Bonds.

[Adam Ray]

That's awesome.

[Brian Redban]

But it was. It was interesting because I got to see him as normal sized Barry Bonds.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And then he got.

[Adam Ray]

There was a difference, dude.

[Brian Redban]

It's like, bro, he got.

[Adam Ray]

But you still have to hand eye coordination.

[Brian Redban]

You stuff 100.

[Adam Ray]

It's not making your eyes clear. Right. It's not like.

[Brian Redban]

It's definitely making your body perform better. And on top of that, recover quicker so you could do more work.

[Adam Ray]

So that's. That's the main reason people do it. It's the recover. The recovery.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. Well, not just the big fat. Just not just recovery, but your ability to work like like, it. Like, especially guys who take epo. Like, that was with the Lance Armstrong stuff and the cyclists, what they're doing is so difficult for your body to compete in, like, Tour de France that. Notice how I said France. Like, I'm sophisticated Tour de France. I felt so pretentious.

[Adam Ray]

You gotta do that. You really did.

[Brian Redban]

I felt pretentious after I said France. I was like, ew.

[Jamie]

You wear it well.

[Adam Ray]

Ew.

[Brian Redban]

It's been argued, and I think successfully, that it's healthier to do that event on drugs.

[Adam Ray]

Right?

[Brian Redban]

It's healthier to be taking steroids and EPO for your body, because you're asking so much of your body. It's so taxing and so absolutely brutal that it's like you probably should take something. But the problem was you weren't supposed to. And everybody was, and they were like, blood doping and doing all kinds of crazy. Did you ever see the documentary Icarus?

[Adam Ray]

No. Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

Dude. Want to talk about a documentary that you have to watch? Yeah. Award winning, one that won a bunch of awards. It's incredible. And it's the most. Almost like the circumstances just laid out so perfectly, like it was meant to be. So this guy, he does this documentary and. Brian Fogel, right? Brian Fogel, great guy, did get. Was a guest on the podcast a couple times, did this documentary where he's a cyclist and he wanted to cycle this race, compete in this race natural, and then hire someone to show him exactly how to cheat and take everything that, like, a cheater would take and. And just take all the steroids and all the EPO and all that stuff and then do the same race and see what the score is, see the differences. So he hires this guy who's the head of the Russian anti Doping organization. Well, while he is hiring this guy, while the guy is prescribing him steroids and telling him what to take, that guy gets in trouble because it turns out they had. They had doped the entire Sochi Olympics team, the entire Russian team. There was this huge scandal. They had drilled a hole in the wall and they were passing the dirty piss through, and they were getting a new bottle of clean piss. And they found it through microscopic scratches in these supposedly unopenable jars.

[Jamie]

Jars.

[Brian Redban]

These jars are supposed to be unimpossible to open. And so once they sealed them off, they felt like, these will be sealed until we open it. Well, then the Russians figured out a way to open the jars, and then they would swap out the piss and put in the good piss. Oh, my crazy so now this guy lays out exactly how he did it in the documentary. He lays out the whole program and then he's on the run. So now he's in America and he's in like witness support. He's like witness protection program. Like they want to kill him. And this currently. Yes, currently he's in hiding right now. And the documentary is why you should.

[Adam Ray]

Get Danny the dick, what's his name? Danny the private investigator. Danny Dick, what's his name?

[Brian Redban]

Dave Dolan. Dickless Dave. He's dead now, unfortunately. Yeah, you said that.

[Adam Ray]

I'm sorry.

[Brian Redban]

That's okay. So when they. So this after this, the Russians got banned, I think it was the Rio Olympics was next after this.

[Adam Ray]

That.

[Brian Redban]

And they couldn't compete. They couldn't compete as Russians. They had to compete as they had to be independent.

[Adam Ray]

Damn.

[Brian Redban]

They couldn't represent Russia if they wanted to compete in the Olympics.

[Adam Ray]

To go to that extent to pull that off is just.

[Brian Redban]

He said they doped up everybody except the figure skaters. He said the figure skaters. It didn't seem to give him any improvement because it was all just really fine motor.

[Adam Ray]

So they were probably doing it for a while to see how it to trial and error.

[Brian Redban]

They tried everything on everything. Everybody. It's. This is what happens when you have a military run country that like puts so much, so much pride in the accomplishments of its athletes.

[Adam Ray]

Sure.

[Brian Redban]

You know, it's like very important that its athletes show dominance. Like and Russia shows dominance in Olympics in the most manly of events like their wrestling is. Their wrestling is as good as any country on earth. It may be better than a Russian.

[Jamie]

Figure skater doping situation. 2022, she was 15.

[Brian Redban]

She tested positive for the banned heart medication trimetazidine. You're on that, right? A sample collected from the Russian national championships, December 2021. The result only reported because the Beijing Olympics in February 2022, after she had already competed. Did she have a heart problem? I mean, is that like a medication that she's supposed to take?

[Adam Ray]

Take.

[Jamie]

I mean, the court of arbitration banned it for four years.

[Brian Redban]

Wow. Interesting. So. Well, okay, well, let's put in. What is that? Heart medication.

[Jamie]

Due to a contamination of a strawberry dessert prepared on the same table as her grandfather's heart medication pills was. Oh, explanation.

[Brian Redban]

And she said it was ultimately rejected as implausible. Let's find out what the positive effects of taking that drug would be put in that drug and then put in performance enhancing. What do you think?

[Adam Ray]

I mean.

[Brian Redban]

You think it's got a performance enhancing, a heart medication? I think so what does perplexity say?

[Adam Ray]

Metabolic increases blood flow to the heart.

[Brian Redban]

Stimulates, enhances physical efficiency and endurance by improving how the body uses energy, particularly by shifting energy substrate used from fatty acids to glucose oxidation. It increases blood flow to the heart and stimulates glucose met metabolism, resulting in better endurance performance. Its effects are different from typical muscle building or stimulant like performance enhancers. Rather, it may improve exercise capacity, stamina and reduce fatigue by optimizing mitochondrial function and cardiac energetics. I want to get on it, right?

[Adam Ray]

I was just going to say this.

[Brian Redban]

Sounds incredible when Jared More plates, More dates comes on. Bring that up. Make a little, little bookmark.

[Adam Ray]

Comedians will never. I mean, there's no doping for us, right?

[Brian Redban]

No. Except weed. Weed is definitely a.

[Adam Ray]

But that's not like making you. It.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's a superpower. Weed's a superpower. It's a superpower for self deprecation too. You know the one thing that like. Like we're talking about the green room. The guy who can't take a joke about himself like he's never high.

[Adam Ray]

No.

[Brian Redban]

If you're high and someone makes fun of you, like, oh, when the holidays start to feel a bit repetitive, reach.

[Adam Ray]

For a Sprite Winter Spiced Cranberry and.

[Brian Redban]

Put your twist on tradition.

[Adam Ray]

A bold cranberry and winter spice flavor fusion.

[Brian Redban]

Sprite Winter Spice Cranberry is a refreshing.

[Adam Ray]

Way to shake things up this sipping season, and only for a limited time. Sprite obey your thirst. What if thousands of deals were waiting for you? Black Friday is here at Best Buy, where you'll find new doorbusters and big savings. But hurry. Black Friday deals. And Saturday, November 29th. Shop now@best buy.com. best Buy. Imagine that.

[Brian Redban]

No, you're right.

[Adam Ray]

Do you. Will you have a little Eddie or a little puff before you go on stage? Or you try to keep it clear?

[Brian Redban]

Allegedly. Nice and slow.

[Adam Ray]

I like this guy. I like this guy.

[Brian Redban]

30 years.

[Adam Ray]

You're gonna have to be Johnny Depp's agent when I go and kill Tony and come.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, this is the question I forgot to ask about the 30 years thing. What if you just take it all at once? What percentage do you. You get that?

[Jamie]

So, yeah, I did find out. You do get it all if you take it over 30 years and you get a 5% increase every year for inflation.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, but you, if you, you get it all if you live 30 years. Like, my point was, if I win the lottery and I'm 24 years old, I ain't making it 30 years.

[Jamie]

Your estate. If you don't.

[Brian Redban]

My estate.

[Jamie]

I'm just saying.

[Brian Redban]

Trying to ball out here. What are you talking about?

[Adam Ray]

Trying to get a ball, Jamie.

[Brian Redban]

I'm trying to get a rose.

[Adam Ray]

A jet. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I want diamonds in my teeth.

[Adam Ray]

Would you go? Wow. You would, huh?

[Brian Redban]

Full grill.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Surprised you have maybe one day.

[Brian Redban]

Maybe when it all falls. Starts falling apart, I'll start doing heroin. Get a grill. I want to try crack at the very.

[Jamie]

It doesn't.

[Brian Redban]

Hunter Biden was talking about it. It's like, it sounds wonderful.

[Jamie]

It's not giving me an exact number. At the very least, you got to take out the 37 for federal taxes.

[Brian Redban]

37%? The government takes 37%? These.

[Adam Ray]

That's wild, dude.

[Brian Redban]

You didn't buy one ticket. You cs.

[Jamie]

It's still income, though.

[Brian Redban]

And it's. Your money sucks.

[Jamie]

You.

[Brian Redban]

You buy the tickets and they're like, yeah, we got all the money from it. But then we want more of your money too. We want money, money, money, money, money.

[Adam Ray]

Money, money, money, money, money.

[Brian Redban]

And then what happens after that?

[Jamie]

It says that depends on. Then state taxes. Depends on where you live because.

[Brian Redban]

Okay, so 37%. But if you get one payout all at once. Is it the 2 billion?

[Jamie]

No, I mean you. The.

[Brian Redban]

It is.

[Jamie]

It's also lower.

[Brian Redban]

But it's not just the 37 taxes that get drawn out. If you take it in one payment, you get less.

[Jamie]

It's giving me an. On a 593 million dollar jackpot. For some reason. The pre. Pre tax lump sum cash option is approximately 277.6 out of 500, almost 600.

[Brian Redban]

So you get less than half. Yeah, but you. You get it right now.

[Jamie]

You're getting it tomorrow.

[Adam Ray]

I think that's right.

[Brian Redban]

Do. Yeah, I'm stupid. Yeah, I would do that.

[Adam Ray]

Take it all.

[Brian Redban]

Give me it all right now. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

[Adam Ray]

Totally.

[Brian Redban]

Especially after.

[Adam Ray]

I don't this Kaz, dude, I would. Oh, man. I. I probably. I'd probably go to like. I'd go to Shaq. I'd be like, you want to make Kazam too? I'd buy. I'd buy a house near my folks.

[Brian Redban]

And go, how much for a rocket?

[Adam Ray]

Whoa. How much?

[Brian Redban]

Where would you want your own? He's like, are you serious, bro? If I got to. If I got to Jeff Bezos money for sure. I'm buying a rocket.

[Adam Ray]

And where are you going with it?

[Brian Redban]

Wherever.

[Adam Ray]

Rancho Cucamonga.

[Brian Redban]

Wherever.

[Jamie]

They're barely reusable.

[Brian Redban]

They will be by then. If I get that old and that Rich, what happened to the rockets?

[Adam Ray]

What happened to the. The subway system that was supposed to go like LA to San Fran in like a minute? What was that? What?

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Adam Ray]

Come on.

[Brian Redban]

I feel like you boring company. No, the boring thing was like, it was traffic.

[Adam Ray]

It was going to be some sort.

[Brian Redban]

Of the high speed rail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that was really just a money scheme, Cam. They didn't do anything.

[Adam Ray]

Almost like helicopter Uber was like, I think lasted for two days.

[Brian Redban]

How much did they spend on the high speed rail project? Let's find that out. I did not take a guess.

[Adam Ray]

I would not have got on that.

[Jamie]

I don't think that they've spent at all.

[Brian Redban]

But there was.

[Jamie]

It says $4 billion in federal funding.

[Adam Ray]

Wow.

[Jamie]

Has implications.

[Adam Ray]

What a great idea.

[Brian Redban]

How much have they built?

[Jamie]

Oh, not done.

[Adam Ray]

They were like, tired of.

[Brian Redban]

What other company? What other company? Imagine if you. You hired General Dynamics, whatever, and said, hey, how much for you guys to make me train and make it go really fast?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And they said, well, I think we could do it for about 4 billion. You're like, okay, let's do it.

[Adam Ray]

Thanks for the budget.

[Brian Redban]

And then you give them the money and then, you know, you go back 10 years later, you're busy, you're not paying attention, like, hey, how's the train doing? How far you guys get?

[Adam Ray]

Not great.

[Brian Redban]

Great. Not great. We didn't get anywhere.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, we didn't get anywhere.

[Brian Redban]

We don't have any more money.

[Adam Ray]

But I thought you were telling us. What did you spend it on?

[Brian Redban]

What happened? Well, there's a lot of nos that are attached to this.

[Adam Ray]

We also bought a lot of Powerball tickets.

[Brian Redban]

And we had a indigenous land, which is a land acknowledgment.

[Jamie]

They have a smaller version in Florida and there are people dying all the time.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa.

[Jamie]

Because people think that they can beat it and they can't.

[Adam Ray]

What?

[Brian Redban]

Wait, beat.

[Adam Ray]

Wait.

[Jamie]

They think. Because they think it. In Florida there's tons of trains going all the time. It's a normal train. And you think you can get across in fat faster.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, so it's a lot faster than the normal train. What kind of train is this? It goes 125 miles an hour. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Regular trains, like what, 80?

[Brian Redban]

So how many people? 180 deaths. Making America's most dangerous pasture train just because people try to run across the tracks. Yeah, bro, that's so crazy.

[Adam Ray]

And now you put up stats like that and you got some psycho kids that are like, well, now, now look at all people that have died. Now we got to go test the limits.

[Brian Redban]

Can you show me what it looks like when it goes by? Is there a video of it going by?

[Adam Ray]

It's the Randy Johnson of trans trains.

[Brian Redban]

I want to see drive by.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. There's got to be a few.

[Brian Redban]

I want to see what that's like. There was one that I just saw from. I think it was Japan. That's bananas.

[Adam Ray]

Can you imagine getting hit by a train?

[Brian Redban]

Oh dude.

[Adam Ray]

That might be. It would.

[Brian Redban]

It's be instantaneous.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, I guess. You wouldn't feel anything.

[Brian Redban]

Let's see how fast it goes. Give me. Whoa. Oh, that's pretty quick. Yeah, that's scary.

[Adam Ray]

That.

[Brian Redban]

That's quick. See that again? Yeah. Oh man. But the one in. I think it was Japan. I think Japan has some new crazy high speed one that's like three times faster than that.

[Adam Ray]

Why?

[Brian Redban]

They want to get somewhere quick.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

No time to waste.

[Adam Ray]

I know. Time is money.

[Brian Redban]

Gotta get going.

[Adam Ray]

I know, dude. That's really what it is.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. They're making jets now that are going to be supersonic again. You know, after they. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. What the. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Wait. That's not AI.

[Brian Redban]

Holy. Holy. No, that's not AI. This is Japan's new train.

[Jamie]

It's 310 miles an hour, bro.

[Brian Redban]

Watch this again. I don't watch this again. This is so crazy.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. That didn't look. That looked faster than the 180. But that. So that's probably saving. How much time do you think? If you're going so la to San Fran is like time is money.

[Brian Redban]

Time is money. So I want to keep everybody safe. Let's go 35 miles an hour. And then. You know what you have to worry about? Train robbers. They hop on board because it's so slow they can grab it.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, wow. Is that what the speed increases for?

[Brian Redban]

Like when they're going uphill? People still the train robbers would jump on board.

[Adam Ray]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Redban]

They'd wait till you're about to go uphill.

[Adam Ray]

What a cool life. Dude. In my next life I'm going to be a train robber.

[Jamie]

Bro.

[Brian Redban]

Don't do that.

[Jamie]

I don't know what it's going. Tokyo to Osaka and underground an hour.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa. How far is that?

[Jamie]

Look that up.

[Brian Redban]

Don't give me kilometers.

[Adam Ray]

Don't you dare give me kilometers.

[Brian Redban]

Why didn't they teach us that in school?

[Adam Ray]

Kilometers.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, they could have. We could all be using that. We could have abandoned this nonsense. That makes us confused as to how the rest of the world measures things.

[Jamie]

375.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa.

[Adam Ray]

Jesus Christ.

[Brian Redban]

375 miles an hour is crazy.

[Adam Ray]

So it's. They've been with us for a while and we just aren't doing it because.

[Brian Redban]

They blew the money.

[Adam Ray]

But that was the only operation potentially to get it going.

[Jamie]

Some discussions have been talked about to get it going before either the. Which won't happen the World cup or the Olympics in 2026.

[Brian Redban]

All we need is an additional 4 billion and we should be on schedule.

[Jamie]

If they're like private, of course we are.

[Brian Redban]

Wow, I love America. It's just so filled with crazy. So, so. It's so goddamn goofy.

[Adam Ray]

It's a lot of fun stuff to talk about right now, right? Doesn't it?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Do you find as a comic the crazier is the more fun it is on stage or. No, for sure.

[Brian Redban]

This is faster than either flying between the two cities or taking the one and a half hour trip to the current Taido line. Available with the Japanese rail pass. A proposed route will include stops stations at Shingawa, Sagamihara, Kofu Lita and Nakasugawa. Sorry, we'll go with that. Originally planned, only extend as far as Shingawa Station. The creation of the short underground route to central Tokyo. So how fast is it? I mean, where. How far is it going?

[Jamie]

Does it say it's 40 minutes to. It's kind of an hour now? It doesn't say the distance.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. 130.

[Jamie]

177 miles. 80% of the 177 miles will be located underground.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, Jesus.

[Jamie]

$55 billion.

[Adam Ray]

Scary.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, Jesus Christ. Imagine going 375 miles an hour underground.

[Jamie]

Thousand people at a time though.

[Brian Redban]

Oh boy.

[Jamie]

That's like 10 planes.

[Brian Redban]

You're making me nauseous.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, even the New York subway sometimes goes too fast. You see that video of the woman falling asleep? God bless her. Dude, everybody. I think it was in San Francisco, right?

[Brian Redban]

What?

[Adam Ray]

A woman fell asleep at the, the. At the wheel for. In the subway. Nobody died, but she definitely went off the track for a minute. Everybody fell over.

[Brian Redban]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And then she. And everybody was freaking out and she opened the door and goes, hey, chill out. We're fine. But like she very. I mean, maybe she didn't remember that she's on camera. So like they got her just passing out. I mean, I'm surprised that doesn't happen more.

[Brian Redban]

Honestly.

[Adam Ray]

Those are crazy hours they're working.

[Brian Redban]

No, there was a person running that still. Why don't they use AI?

[Adam Ray]

Psych. We got you. You're on my new hidden camera show. We got you there. We Got you there.

[Brian Redban]

That's how it works.

[Adam Ray]

No, there is a. Yeah. AI for the subway.

[Brian Redban]

That's how AI takes over everything. You have these kind of conversations. Why don't they just use AI for that? And AI is like, you're right. You should use us. We could make it so efficient that it's 99.9% safe, as opposed to the current level of 98 safe.

[Adam Ray]

That was really good.

[Brian Redban]

We could approximately, say, save 5 million lives over the course of the next 20 years.

[Adam Ray]

Is that what AI this lady just fell asleep. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, so she's on, like, a. A real.

[Jamie]

Yeah. It's like, outside in San Francisco. Oh, 50 miles an hour.

[Adam Ray]

It is surprising that with the way.

[Brian Redban]

She just fell asleep.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

Just derailed, didn't crash.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God, that's so nuts. And she.

[Adam Ray]

I just thought it was funny that she was like, chill out.

[Brian Redban]

Look at her there.

[Adam Ray]

We're fine.

[Brian Redban]

Cold, cold.

[Jamie]

Eight in the morning maybe.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Adam Ray]

Boom. Look at that. Can you imagine?

[Brian Redban]

Oh, whoa. That's nuts.

[Adam Ray]

People went down.

[Brian Redban]

That is nuts.

[Adam Ray]

Hands in our pockets, like. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta be 10 and 2.

[Brian Redban]

She's got great lashes, though. Yeah, Great eyelashes. Yeah. Man, that's crazy. I. They should have a computer running that. That thing.

[Adam Ray]

Have you done the Waymo yet?

[Jamie]

No.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Okay. Thank you.

[Brian Redban]

I'm not a traitor to the human race.

[Adam Ray]

This is logic.

[Brian Redban]

First shot across the bow in the robot war. Yeah, except the fact that robots are going to drive you everywhere.

[Adam Ray]

I don't want that.

[Brian Redban]

Wild. Drove my Tesla here today.

[Adam Ray]

It's fine.

[Brian Redban]

It's basically the same thing. It's pretending I'm in control.

[Adam Ray]

Is it all.

[Brian Redban]

Doing a great job steering, Joe.

[Adam Ray]

Awesome.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, it's incredible. It drives itself. If I wanted to, I don't ever do it, but if I wanted to, I could put in a dress code and it just goes there. Stops at every stop sign, stops at every stop light. Changes lanes when there's an obstruction.

[Adam Ray]

So you don't have the trust built enough to, like, allow it to take you.

[Brian Redban]

I like to drive.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, me too.

[Brian Redban]

I want to drive. Yeah, it's fun. I like driving and I like being aware of stuff and paying attention. I don't want to just drift off and just, like, let the computer do the work. But that's coming. It's coming.

[Adam Ray]

Are you a road trip guy?

[Brian Redban]

No, I don't have time for road trip.

[Adam Ray]

You don't? Yeah. I'm sorry I asked you that question.

[Brian Redban]

Road trip guy.

[Adam Ray]

As soon as I came out of.

[Brian Redban]

My bago Winnebago, the kids in the back, across the country.

[Adam Ray]

That's me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean the amount of gigs early on that I. The amount of times I went from LA to San Diego or LA to Santa Barbara, LA to San Fran or sack for 8, 10 minutes. I remember Tripley had some room in Santa Barbara. I would drive eight minutes, then come back, then host the Fear Factor live show at Universal the next morning at 9am Just for. And I'd drive Sam out there or whoever it was just to get time.

[Brian Redban]

Time.

[Adam Ray]

But I always liked it.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Adam Ray]

But as far as like a cross country road trip, I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

That's not a road trip though. That's just road work.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, but five, six hours felt like a road trip.

[Brian Redban]

It's. Well, it's a lot of driving, that's for damn sure. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, but okay, I guess. But road trip, a classic road trip.

[Brian Redban]

You're talking like not even for work, just like a road trip. Just go on a trip, see the country, pull into places.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, I'd like to do it.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, do you take time off?

[Jamie]

Off?

[Adam Ray]

I will next week. For real? Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I'll just go home to see how convincing.

[Adam Ray]

I know. Well, just because I have. I mean it's like we have the last Phil show coming up. I'm on the road with club dates for the rest of the year and then I start my theater tour. First theater tour January through April of next year. So that's on sale right now. Adamraycomi.com But I don't know. So many shows and then last fill and then then writing a bunch. I don't know. To me there's not enough time in the day. But going home to Seattle for Thanksgiving will be the shutdown. Because I'm around my nieces and nephews, I want to have a lot of time to kick with my mom.

[Brian Redban]

Did you start stand up up there?

[Adam Ray]

I did one open mic before I moved to la just to feel like I did it. And then when I went to SC 01 to 05, started in 07 is when I like jumped in. I did a few frat parties during college. Only going off the confidence that I did it once in Seattle for whatever reason, you know, you need the delusion to start even trying to do stand up.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

So for whatever reason I was able to ride the experience of once in Seattle and go up at a frat party and just bomb. I mean, I gotta find that footage. I got a few laughs when I made fun of bike cops. And then I did a little crowd work because the girl started booing. I was for. It was before a band and the band was an hour late. And then I had the balls to do all 30 minutes that I practiced. I should have done five and gotten off because the band was ready. But I was like, I practice 30. I'm 30. Can you imagine? And then this girl started yelling shit out and I yelled shit back and got some laughs. And that's all I remember about it. My buddies, I remember, just got off and they were like, man, that was. How long were you up there? Never a good sign. Nothing about what you did, but. But. But really started in 07 at the store and everywhere.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, you do need that delusion in the beginning.

[Adam Ray]

1,000%.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, you need to be slightly delusional because the dream is so ridiculous.

[Adam Ray]

It's so there's. There can't be any part of you that's like, do people really want to hear what I have to say, or am I really funny? I mean, it's just like. And I, you know, had done plays, so I was. Felt comfy on stage. But that's what's so funny when, you know, there's a. A kid that I'm not mentoring, but just giving advice to every time he asked, and he's unfortunately looking for, you know, I think with just clips and everything now he's just like. He's looking for shortcuts. And I'm like, I don't want to tell him not to do it, but I'm like, man, you're just like. You're not focused on kind of what I was telling you, which is control you can control, which is getting on stage all the time, writing all the time, living a life worth writing about is what I tell this kid a lot because I'm like, if you find yourself. Myself. He's a little too isolated. And I'm like, you need to get your job back. So you're just accumulating life experience, having things to. To pull from. But yeah, I can't imagine starting now.

[Brian Redban]

Well, it's gotta be because he's so.

[Adam Ray]

Focused on, like, I gotta get that clip.

[Brian Redban]

Huh? Now it's gotta. It's a different sort of environment, right? The clip environment. Like, that's how guys are promoting their work now.

[Adam Ray]

It's like when it's a blessing to curse.

[Brian Redban]

Curse. It's definitely a blessing. The only. The only curse would be because it doesn't preclude you from still doing a lot of open mics. It doesn't Preclude you from working and. And, you know, opening for people and. But it can give you, like, an undue amount of success. Like if you have, like, a really good crowd work video and then a bunch of people come out to see you, but you really only have 10 minutes.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You know, which happens to some folks.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Because it's tricky and you don't necessarily want people watching you the first year. Year or the first two years. No, Even maybe in the first three.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my mom came out to see.

[Brian Redban]

Me too soon, and it was bad.

[Adam Ray]

I did a joke. Let me see if I can remember it. I said something about, I was raised, oh, so stupid. Just a classic misdirect. I go, like, I was raised by a single mom. I grew up with just my mom and my sister, so. So I was like, sensitive and blah, blah, blah, and making a joke about maybe being gay because I was raised by two women. So I go, so my mom taught me to, like, be kind and. And nice and take a guy out to dinner before you lick his ass. And, like, would get about this response, and then I would go, just kidding. I wouldn't take him to dinner, bro. That was maybe my third time on stage. And my mom came to that show. It's my sweet mom, little Jew from Oklahoma. And she just. I remember after the show, she just goes, did you have fun? But the delusion to think, like, I don't care if mom's here. I'm doing the joke I wrote. I mean, if you can call that a joke. But.

[Brian Redban]

Well, yeah. Well, it's also a part of being young too. And you're young and just Especially dudes. We're just stupid. Stupid.

[Adam Ray]

We are.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And you think you could do anything, dumbass. But. But eventually you can. You know, that's the thing. It's like, you're gonna have to suck at the beginning. It's just with everything you do, you know, if you picked up ping pong tomorrow, you're gonna suck.

[Adam Ray]

I thought about that.

[Brian Redban]

Ping pong.

[Adam Ray]

I thought about trying to. I love ping pong.

[Brian Redban]

Do you?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, I love it.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, I love it, dude. It's so. It's probably how. I don't know how pool is for you, but, like. Like, it's relaxing, even though I know it's a little. And it's energetic and I shoot the. A lot with whoever I'm playing with. It's a real, like, mindless almost because I don't play video games really anymore.

[Brian Redban]

And what happened? Why'd you stop?

[Adam Ray]

Moved out of My apartment. Left the table there. I have space now. I have a house. I should fucking definitely buy one.

[Brian Redban]

It'll suck you back into that dark hole, that dark pong hole, that dark hole of video games. And I felt, games are too good right now.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, I did. Give me. No, thanks, dude.

[Brian Redban]

They're too good.

[Adam Ray]

I played Halo over last holidays with my brother and I. I was really high. He was not. And I started to, like. I just had panic attacks. It was too real. My heart was palpitating. I was just like, he. And he. He got in my head. He was like, dude, I can't believe you let our guy die. You're tuned into Auto intelligence live from AutoTrader where data, tools and your preferences.

[Brian Redban]

Sync to make your car shopping smooth. They're searching invent. Oh, yeah. They find what you need they gonna find it. You can make a budget for your wallet to help you succeed.

[Adam Ray]

Pricing is precise and true. So true.

[Brian Redban]

It's smarter car shopping oh, just for you.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, it's just for you. Find your next [e-mail] powered by auto Intelligence. The Subaru Share the Love Event is.

[Brian Redban]

On from November 20th to January 2nd. During this event, Subaru donates to charities.

[Adam Ray]

Like Make a Way Wish Helping Grant.

[Brian Redban]

More than 3,900 wishes so far when you purchase or lease a new vehicle. During the 2025 Subaru Share the Love event, Subaru and its retailers will make.

[Jamie]

A minimum 300 donation to charity.

[Brian Redban]

Visit subaru.comshare to learn more.

[Adam Ray]

And I was like, whoa. He's like, he's got a family. I was like, it was. It was too much.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Maybe it's not for you.

[Adam Ray]

No.

[Brian Redban]

Jamie, what was that? Did I send you that thing with those goggles that you could use on Steam?

[Adam Ray]

Dude, your brain is awesome. I'm so glad we're going back to this, because when you brought up the goggles earlier, I was like, fuck, we got off that. But I'm really curious about that, so thanks for getting us back there.

[Brian Redban]

This Steam goggles is some new thing that I saw that there's like a component that goes on the outside and there's a battery pack and it can either directly sync up to your computer or it works as a standalone. And it's showing you, like, ar all the video games that are on Steam. It seems fucking nuts, right? Yeah.

[Jamie]

That's kind of available now, though, right?

[Brian Redban]

But there's a new one that's supposed to be even better. That's. That's the one that I say I sent you that Video. Right.

[Jamie]

Yeah, but I'm just saying like this. It's not. I don't want to shit on it too bad.

[Brian Redban]

But it's. Please do. It's not because I want it.

[Jamie]

Yeah, it's not, unfortunately. Like, you can do this now.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. But my point is, this is supposed to be really good. The new one. And you. You could play games. Like, what games are on Steam. Does Steam have Quake?

[Jamie]

That's a misunderstanding. I think you're misunderstanding that a little bit.

[Brian Redban]

You can't play any game that's on Steam.

[Jamie]

That's not what that meant. I get. So VR games are available through Steam and you generally have to connect a wire or something. Remember that giant setup we used to have back.

[Brian Redban]

Yes.

[Jamie]

We were playing those games all through Steam.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. And we had it set up through a wire.

[Jamie]

Yeah. And so like the. On like an Oculus headset. Which is what this is sort of comparing itself to.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Jamie]

You have to download those games directly to that or like have it connected to your phone.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Jamie]

And without an extra wire or another device, you couldn't easily play Steam games before recently, but you kind of can now. And so that they've updated the device to be like. Okay, we'll do that too, though. You can just put all that tech in a.

[Brian Redban]

This is my question, the obvious one. How long before you can play VR Quake?

[Jamie]

That's. They'd have to develop that in there. And I don't think that they want to. And also on a multi directional.

[Adam Ray]

It's vrquake.

[Jamie]

It's too fast. You'd get sick. You would throw up.

[Brian Redban]

You'd get sick.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, you'd get sick. We're fine.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, you'd get sick.

[Jamie]

There's no good movement.

[Brian Redban]

I'd be fine.

[Jamie]

There's no good movement.

[Brian Redban]

I'd feel great.

[Jamie]

I'm just saying.

[Brian Redban]

Just. I'd do it fasted.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It's not.

[Jamie]

I. I could put the roller coaster thing on for you right now. You probably would get real close.

[Brian Redban]

No.

[Adam Ray]

It's a hard pass.

[Brian Redban]

No, I'm sure I'm kidding. But I want to try. I just feel like if they really did VR Quake and you're. You're on one of those. You ever see that? Those. They strap you in at the waist. These treadmills. No. And it's like a circle and you can run in any direction.

[Adam Ray]

No.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. It's like a contained circle. Cool. What are they called? Multi directional treadmills. Is that what they're called? Omni. Omnidirectional treadmills. So it's like. It's kind of like you're attached with, like, cables, and you just run on this treadmill and, you know, you're running and shooting at things and, like, you're probably getting some legitimate exercise.

[Adam Ray]

1000% you are.

[Brian Redban]

Especially if you're doing some game where you got to run from zombies. Zombies. You know, you're running, you're gunning them down, and you're running and running down zombies. Probably amazing.

[Jamie]

Disney developed something that's not available yet. They call it the hollow tile, which is an updated version of that, which doesn't have to be on a treadmill. Like, you're. You're not attached to anything. This guy's just standing still and walking.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa.

[Jamie]

But this. Again, like.

[Brian Redban]

But wait a minute. Are they, like beads? How is that working?

[Jamie]

I talk to Disney. I don't.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. But that doesn't seem like you can go fast.

[Jamie]

Well, that's the. You can't really go fast in this either.

[Brian Redban]

You can't go fast.

[Jamie]

I'm.

[Adam Ray]

No one. No one has your mom.

[Brian Redban]

If.

[Jamie]

If everyone really liked it and it was that good, I would. Me and red band would have.

[Adam Ray]

I was going to say Red band is all over this, right?

[Jamie]

Yeah, we. And it's just.

[Brian Redban]

It's not that good. Well, what's it look like now? Let me see what we got. Let me see a dude doing it. Total game changer. Look at that guy's sandals and tell me if you want to be him.

[Adam Ray]

Wait, here's his David O. Verified buyer. Let me read this.

[Brian Redban]

That dude's got sandals with socks on.

[Adam Ray]

I love my Omni One. It has been a total game TV changer. Game changer. In just four months of thrilling action pack gaming, it has shattered my weight loss plateau and dropped an incredible 40 additional pounds, all while having an absolute blast.

[Brian Redban]

See, that's what I was thinking.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It'd be legitimate exercise.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Are those. Oh, that's his sneakers. They're strapped in. I thought he was wearing socks with sandals. I was like, that is the wackiest I've ever seen.

[Adam Ray]

That seems kind of fun.

[Brian Redban]

You have to do it.

[Jamie]

Most people don't want to be active while they're playing video games. It's just like, they're counterintuitive things.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. But we're not talking about most people, Jamie. We're talking about.

[Adam Ray]

We're talking about a couple of athletes.

[Brian Redban]

We're talking about me wanting that thing. Yeah. My life. So when. When he's running on that thing, what does it look like can we show me a video of someone using one?

[Adam Ray]

Like I'd be down to go to the prehistoric era and chase, fight, kill whatever it is dinosaurs. But be moving and shaking. Right. Versus just being stationary.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I want to run from stuff. I want bats chasing.

[Adam Ray]

It's virtual reality. It should be as real as possible.

[Brian Redban]

Supposed to be scary.

[Jamie]

I mean that's.

[Brian Redban]

And also you get a workout in. Ooh, that looks actually kind of cool.

[Jamie]

Look how he's leaning so far forward there to do that.

[Brian Redban]

Like that's not comfortable. But is he doing that on purpose?

[Jamie]

I Probably not. He's probably trying to make it work.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, bro, this looks awesome. You're. You are not dissuading me. This looks amazing. This look.

[Jamie]

This could be the only. The problem too. This could be the only game that works on.

[Brian Redban]

I want to shoot those things.

[Adam Ray]

We got to get Martin Phillips in this.

[Brian Redban]

What other is whatever the things are happening in that game.

[Jamie]

This is kind of my point with all V. I've tried to tell you before. Before, if someone made a really good game by now, 10 years into this, everybody would know about it. We would have talked about it. Yeah, a bunch.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Okay.

[Jamie]

What's just not.

[Brian Redban]

What games can you play with this setup?

[Jamie]

I've never. I don't know. I don't know anybody that's ever used.

[Brian Redban]

Well, that's got on.

[Jamie]

On the outside of the shoes.

[Brian Redban]

What are those?

[Jamie]

He's got something on the outside of his neck.

[Brian Redban]

Right. It's like a strapped on thing just like the other one was.

[Adam Ray]

It's so funny to see how far we've got. Remember the Nintendo trackpad? I mean dude, we are just leaps and bounds past that.

[Brian Redban]

I think those things must have some sort of a sensor that lets you know where the foot is at any given time. That makes sense. Right? So the game would know. That would be the way the game would detect whether or not you're moving forward. Oh, this seems so awesome.

[Adam Ray]

Well, with all the stuff they do with the motion capture for the sports games is pretty incredible.

[Brian Redban]

But if you could play games like Quake where you could actually be holding up a plastic rifle. Rifle. And you're running down these hallways shooting down monsters and well, think about playing.

[Adam Ray]

If you were playing like a Madden and you could like feel the impact of taking a hit or running like I did.

[Jamie]

That was not as in the middle of this. You know those gel blaster things? What's that like Tony gives away kill Tony. Yeah, it's like a little BB gun.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Gel blot. It's little gel BBs, I guess.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, okay.

[Jamie]

They've hooked it up and made it computerized. And you have sensors on like VR or like laser tag. It's in the middle of laser tag.

[Adam Ray]

That's fun.

[Jamie]

They put up giant things for you to run around.

[Brian Redban]

Cool.

[Jamie]

And it's scoring the whole time.

[Brian Redban]

Cool.

[Jamie]

Voices talking to you. It's saying like, good job, you did it. Like, watch your health. Get back, hide, reload.

[Adam Ray]

Birthday party idea.

[Brian Redban]

Joe, have you ever done paintball? Yes, I did paintball when I lived in Boston. There was this place that had like, it was like a warehouse that had all black lights.

[Adam Ray]

Cool.

[Brian Redban]

And you had neon paintballs.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

And you had war. So like with other teams, it was.

[Adam Ray]

So much fun outdoors.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. They light you up. Yeah. When they hit you, you're like, oh, that hurts. Actually hurts.

[Adam Ray]

I got one. The lower back. Yeah. It's fun.

[Brian Redban]

It is fun. It's very exciting.

[Adam Ray]

They still do it, right? Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah, they do it. People get super serious. They have like really sophisticated paintball guns now where they can shoot like multiple rounds. Like semi automatic paintball guns. Like a big, giant, giant bottle at the bottom filled with paintballs. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Adam Ray]

My. My buddy did one for a work, like, team bonding thing. He's like, it did not end well. Like, people were just. It was almost like a work conference where people got up and maybe cheated. It was just like a version of just people taken out.

[Brian Redban]

Oh.

[Adam Ray]

Just people be, you know, just cheap shots. And also people getting hit and going after people they didn't like and.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

But you know.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So backfired. Oh, no. People get getting their aggressions out on their employees, shooting them. You Joyce, Sally, you shot her in the face. She's on your team.

[Adam Ray]

Well, I made it better.

[Brian Redban]

Is never on my team pulling hair.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

High heels in the air.

[Adam Ray]

That's so funny.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

She's never on my team.

[Brian Redban]

That.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You imagine having to work with someone you hate. Hate. Imagine like 8 hours every day with someone you hate doing something you hate with someone you hate. Some shitty person you share a cubicle with. No man right next to you. Yeah, right next to you. Talking that.

[Adam Ray]

And there's no way to spin it. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Nah, you're stuck. And then you gotta, like, behave with the office culture and I bet groceries.

[Adam Ray]

At Albertsons for a little bit. And there were some people there that sucked. But like, you know, I didn't see them every, like.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, you're moving around.

[Adam Ray]

Moving around. Yeah, you're Doing stuff. But if you're locked in a cube, oh, what a bummer.

[Brian Redban]

That's a fucking horrible way to live your life.

[Adam Ray]

Thank God. We were delusional.

[Brian Redban]

Thank God, right? We need more delusional people out there. That's why I'm a big supporter of Adderall. Like, more people.

[Adam Ray]

All right, Quick Will sponsor. I did it once.

[Brian Redban]

Did you?

[Adam Ray]

I did it once and I went out to. I was doing. It was a year after I graduated and my buddy was like, come out to the West Hollywood Halloween party with me. He's like, it's supposed to be crazy. Like 200,000 people. I don't know if you ever in LA saw that. It was like up and down Santa Monica Boulevard. Just the ultimate chaos. Right in the. The gay part la. And so I was like, oh, I'm going to do some content then. So I got my buddy with a camera to, like, interview people, because the costumes. Jeff Scott from the store used to go down there all the time. The costume. He would build elaborate costumes. People would spend. I mean, I talked to a guy who said he spent 80 grand on a full Batman suit. I'm not joking. So I.

[Brian Redban]

And.

[Adam Ray]

And there was a guy. There was a guy. Adam and Eve, they're just buck naked with a couple things and I'm just talking to everybody. I think it. I may have taken off my YouTube, but I was so tired and my buddy was like, you want an Adderall? And I've never done it. And Joe, I felt. I have never done it since I was 2006. I felt unbelievable, dude.

[Brian Redban]

That's what scares me.

[Adam Ray]

I felt unbelievable. And I was locked in.

[Brian Redban]

Dude, you were selling me something right there. You were ready to sell some real estate.

[Adam Ray]

I've never snapped at anybody. It was a bit.

[Brian Redban]

I was a character.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It's weird, right?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. I was so focused, but I didn't feel like my heart was racing too fast.

[Brian Redban]

It was incredible. Yeah, that's the problem.

[Adam Ray]

Sounds incredible.

[Brian Redban]

It's like when Hunter Biden describes crack. Like that. Sounds incredible.

[Adam Ray]

The only reason I didn't do it is because it sounded too good.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

You know, under my administration, we had the first black Mermaid.

[Brian Redban]

Who's that?

[Adam Ray]

Biden.

[Brian Redban]

Who's the black mermaid?

[Jamie]

Mermaid.

[Adam Ray]

The little mermaid that was black.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, that's right. I forgot. Yeah, I missed that. I missed that outrage. Okay.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Great name for a title of a special outrage. I missed that outrage.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Maybe it's a little long.

[Brian Redban]

No, it's not bad. Missed that outrage.

[Adam Ray]

You jamming on another on another one.

[Brian Redban]

I am putting together material now. You know that the weird process of subtraction, deletion, addition, expansion, it's, like, around. I'm doing it at my own pace.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So I'm not thinking about. I'm just thinking about having fun and doing things that I find interesting. Like, you know, it's like, you don't need to.

[Adam Ray]

I mean, what.

[Brian Redban]

Having. What's up? Go ahead. No, I was gonna say having a club and having to not go on the road is huge.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And it gives you a chance to, like. I think sometimes when. I don't know, a lot of people have this issue, like, you do a special, and then you're supposed to go on tour, like, four or five months later, and you don't really have enough material yet. So you start putting together stuff that you think will work rather than stuff that you really like.

[Adam Ray]

Whoa.

[Brian Redban]

You know.

[Adam Ray]

Yep.

[Brian Redban]

So that's. That's where my head's at.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Just talk about stuff you really like, and sometimes it's. It's hard. Like, the subjects that I'm really interested in right now, some of them are just not. Not that funny. They're just too weird. It's hard to figure out a way to make some of these ideas into.

[Adam Ray]

Comedy when you're giving yourself ample time to marinate and play around. If you don't have, like, a. I'm gonna shoot something in.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

I mean, I don't know. Having. I guess there's.

[Brian Redban]

Again, goals are good, too.

[Adam Ray]

Totally.

[Brian Redban]

Because they force you to work. They force you to, like. You have, like, a sense of urgency. I think at a certain point in time, a goal is good, too. But I also think there's a meandering period that's important.

[Adam Ray]

Explore.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Otherwise you get to get stuck.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. I'm doing my first weekend at the Mothership in February.

[Brian Redban]

I'm fired up.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah. I'm fired up.

[Brian Redban]

Very exciting.

[Adam Ray]

I mean, just being there. Last night, Shane brought me up, man. He murdered himself. He's so funny.

[Brian Redban]

Were you guys on the Late show?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Nice.

[Adam Ray]

And he. I went over to see Queens of the Stone Age. They were doing this ACL Live.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, they're here tonight, too. Yeah, Tony's going tonight.

[Adam Ray]

They were so good. Dude.

[Brian Redban]

They're great.

[Adam Ray]

They're. I met Josh. The first Dr. Phil live show. We did Bird did at the store. And he brought Josh. Gosh. And he was just like, yeah. Bert told me he was doing the Dr. Phil show. And I was like, what the is that? And we just became Homies. And so he came, invited me over there, and it was. I didn't see that ACL live studio before. It's awesome. It's like a TV studio, but it's three levels, and it was like a really intimate. Probably 500. Jamie, have you been there?

[Jamie]

Yeah. That's where that one kill Tony was.

[Brian Redban]

I thought you're saying studio. I was confused.

[Jamie]

Well, it's like a. I mean, downtown acli.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I've done it.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, wow. Done that.

[Adam Ray]

It was awesome. But they ripped it, dude. They're. They're. I feel like them Foo Fighters. Like, there's a handful of bands that you're just like, oh, you guys are rock stars, dude. And Josh sounds so good vocally, and the band is so dialed in. I mean, there's, I think, six of them in the group. And yeah, it was awesome, man.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, he's a nice guy. I had him on the podcast once back in the day.

[Adam Ray]

Nice.

[Brian Redban]

Back when? In the LA days?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. We got a Queens of the Stone Age poster up in the green. Green room. Tony showed it to him. He's like, oh, that's great. Awesome. Yeah, Adam gave it to me. I was like, oh, this is such a cool photo. And blonde.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. My friend Josh gave me this poster. I don't even want to have it. Norm liked him too. I don't know. It's good to see you, man.

[Brian Redban]

That's pretty close.

[Adam Ray]

It's all right. It's all right.

[Brian Redban]

It's pretty close.

[Adam Ray]

You know, when I first met Adam, Egot. Love this guy. I don't think I've ever told you this story. The Tempe Improv. When he was booking the Tempe Improv.

[Brian Redban]

That'S when I met him.

[Adam Ray]

He 2010. So I'm three years into doing standup. He comes to the Hollywood Improv. He's trying to just scout, like, you know, young comics to come out and feature at the Improv. They gave him jurisdiction to start bringing people out to, like, feature and just, you know, we'll fly out, put you up. And so I meet him at the Improv and he's like, man, I think you should come out and. Do you know Jim Florentine? Yeah, maybe you can feature for Jim Florent Quarantine. I end up breaking my ankle playing an outdoor basketball game with Sam. Tripoli shattered my ankle and couldn't go. And then Matt Bronger was going to be there in December, and he's like, you know, you can do the Bronco Weekend, but, like, it's also the holiday show. So you got to be clean. And I was like, fine, I'll just take out the F bombs. I was not filthy. Aside from that, I did have one joke that was this like, PSA joke about how, like, you know, it's all these celebrities talking about things that you, like, can't really relate to. You need, like a guy guy. It was always like, you know, you know, Johnny Depp being like, you know, you need to read more to your kids, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then it would be. I was like, why isn't there a guy that's just like, what's up? My name's Cameron. Life gets tough, you know, so make sure to tell your doctor, put please refill on your Vicodin order. That way you can sell the pills for 10 bucks a piece to your deadbeat pill poppins friends and finally get enough cash to buy that 20 inch physio flat screen that your slutty ex girlfriend said was going to take up too much space in the apartment. Well, good thing she showed you her bipolar side, cuz now you're free from her annex. Fuck you, Beth, you dumb. And I have like a PSA at the end of it. I did that at the show and I said, cunt. And. And I got fired from the weekend. And Adam comes up to me and he goes, oh, man, I put me in a tough position, man, I gotta fire you. And I was like, what? And he goes, I told you to be clean. I go, I know, I totally up. I rolled the dice. They had me go up and do 10 and then 5 and then 10 again. And I was crushing and it was great. But they. The. The owner at the time, I think he's Pat cast, was super like, conservative Christian. And even though all the holiday parties were coming up to me and being like, dude, super funny, I was great. Adam's like, dude, we have to like, the manager at the time, this guy named Eddie, was like, we got to get this guy out of here because if there are complaints, then we like, we got rid of the problem, you know?

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

And meanwhile, I'm looking up and I'm seeing Bronr kind of cursing and whatever. And the manager was like, well, he's the headliner. And I was like, oh, I think I'm being used as escape scapegoat. But I get it because I did tell Adam I'd be clean. And I up. Adam, though, then comes over with me. He felt bad that I felt bad that I up. And he. We go to the bar next door, we Rip it up. We chat and we stayed in touch and like he didn't like hold it against me and then. Still a homie to this day.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, he's a good dude. You know that's. You're not supposed to say cunt when you're on a clean show. Part of the thing. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And I was up until that point, it was the last joke I did and I just rolled the dice and I started doing it and I wasn't savvy enough to like. To like. I was like, this is how it ends.

[Brian Redban]

Have you always been able to like do impressions like this? Is there. What is that?

[Adam Ray]

I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

Just because you do a lot of impressions pretty good here. Yeah. Yeah. Where'd that come from? When did you start doing that?

[Adam Ray]

Impersonating teachers and friends as a kid? I think I was a real big kid and there was a girl that every. The first impression I remember doing was this girl named Annie. And she was like the young hot girl in school and everybody had a crush on her. And my. I had bigger tits than her. I was a real big kid and she had a real big crush on my buddy. So I remember I prank called my buddy as her with a couple other friends, like pretending to be her, calling him and. And he believed it. And we had like a 20 minute conference.

[Brian Redban]

No way.

[Adam Ray]

Fourth grade. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Let me hear what it sounds like.

[Adam Ray]

Well, I can act. I can remember. I can tap into how I would do it because it was like in the back of my throat. It was like really like, hey, Evan, what's going on? Obviously my voice is way deeper now, but that's what I would do.

[Brian Redban]

That would be a problem. I'd be like, who the is this and how big's your dick? Dick? This is crazy.

[Adam Ray]

I'll send you a link. So then I would start doing, what.

[Brian Redban]

Size shoe do you wear? Evelyn.

[Adam Ray]

Evelyn, you're killing the comedy names for these bits. So teachers, friends. And then I did. I went to my friend's like water sports camp. That was like all. It was a Christian water sports camp. But they. I was buddies with them. So like, yeah, you can come and like, just skip the Jesus talk, I guess.

[Brian Redban]

Guess.

[Adam Ray]

Even though the guy tried to convert me, he was like, I know you're a Jew, but you're the only Jew here. I was like, yeah, but this doesn't feel like a conversation we need to have about that.

[Brian Redban]

He was trying to convert you?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

How did he do it?

[Adam Ray]

I can't totally remember, but it was.

[Brian Redban]

Something about the Problem sucking your dick.

[Adam Ray]

It did a little sound like it. Yeah. Letting Jesus into my heart. He's like. And Jesus would love to see if you could fit around this. But I remember for the talent show I did like, I did a bunch of impressions. I did like what I do. I did a. I think a Clinton and a Cosby and that age well. And then I did a master split splinter from Ninja Turtles and like Mike Tyson. I just. I don't know. I think I always have a pretty good ear. But like.

[Brian Redban]

But I want to go back to how this guy tried to convert you. Oh.

[Adam Ray]

He had a Bible. He wouldn't. He just sat. I got out of it pretty quick because I was like, I'm here for the jet skiing and the camaraderie. And he was like, I think you're really missing out on letting Christ into your heart. He's like. And he kept asking me like, is life going great for you? I'm like, I don't know. My mom's holding down four or five jobs. Like I can afford, you know. You know, she didn't buy me Jordans, but I got the. I got the Patrick Ewings, you know, we're doing okay. And he just kept trying to be like, you could be doing better than you are now and Jesus will fix. That was like kind of the moral. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Jesus is going to fix your.

[Adam Ray]

He went hard in the pain. Yeah. Whole life he's like, do you know why your dad left?

[Brian Redban]

Whoa. Yeah. He did not.

[Adam Ray]

I swear to God. Yeah, he brought up a little divorce, cuz.

[Brian Redban]

Because you didn't have Jesus in your heart.

[Adam Ray]

I don't know if you going there.

[Brian Redban]

Didn'T have Jesus in his heart.

[Adam Ray]

That was probably insinuation.

[Brian Redban]

If you found Jesus, how does the dad get back in?

[Adam Ray]

Great, great question.

[Brian Redban]

Doesn't. It doesn't. This is terrible logic.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Yeah. He went hard in the paint. Wow. He was a young guy too.

[Brian Redban]

Those are always sus.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Those young hard in the paint guys are very sus.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. He was trying to. I think he was almost like he's a young door to door salesman. He was like, if I can convert the Jew on this camp. So good, so good, so good.

[Brian Redban]

New markdowns are on at your Nordstrom rack store. Save even more.

[Adam Ray]

Up to 70% on dresses, tops, boots.

[Brian Redban]

And handbags to give and get.

[Jamie]

Cause I always find something amazing.

[Adam Ray]

Just so many good brands.

[Brian Redban]

I get an extra 5% off with my Nordstrom credit card Total queen treatment.

[Adam Ray]

Join the Nordy Club at Nordstrom Rack.

[Brian Redban]

To unlock our Best deals, big gifts, big perks. That's why you rack. Hello, friends. Guess who. That's right. It is I, the replacement. Once again, I've been called on so you can play the new Call of Duty Black Ops 7 with three expansive modes, 18 multiplayer maps, and the tastiest zombie gameplay you've ever freaking seen. Call of Duty Black Ops 7 available now. Rated M for mature.

[Adam Ray]

Maybe I'll get my. I'll get delta status. I'll be a gold medallion member.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a weird one, right?

[Adam Ray]

But the. But the voices. I just. I don't know. An ear for it, I guess. You know, like being. But I don't. Even having. Doing the character stuff and having. Being able to actually transform helps a lot. Being able to, like, see myself.

[Brian Redban]

Bring that guy into your act, the.

[Adam Ray]

Guy trying to convert everybody. I really should, to be honest.

[Brian Redban]

100. So Johnny Depp and the guy who's always trying to convert everyone to Jesus. And Jesus will fix everything that's wrong.

[Adam Ray]

Everything.

[Brian Redban]

Everything that's wrong, I guess.

[Adam Ray]

And I. I just. I didn't know enough about it to give him. I don't know. I also just like. I don't know, man. I'm pretty reform with Judaism anyway.

[Brian Redban]

Like, you know, when I was in college, when I was at UMass, there was this girl that was in my class, this really hot Puerto Rican girl with glasses. She was so pretty and she was really friendly and she kept inviting me to these things. Like, she invited me to this weekend retreat that her and her friends were going to. And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. This really hot girls inviting me to go to this thing. Like, you know, I felt like I was kind of a loser. Like, why is she inviting me? This is crazy. But I couldn't go. I had an event. I forget what I had. I think I had a fight. I forget I was still competing back then, I think. And so then. Might not have been. Might. I don't know what the. It was. Might have been a comedy show back then. Actually, now I think about it, it was probably early 90s.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So. So when I was in class, we all found out that there was a plane crash. It was one of the Trump planes. Trump had an airline for a while. I don't know if you remember this.

[Adam Ray]

No, Trump Air.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. And one of the planes, the landing gear didn't come out right. And the plane, like skid across the one way. And the people lived and they were fine. So I'd heard about it. And they were all sitting, eating lunch. So I went into the lunch break room and I said, hey, did you guys hear about the plane crash? And they go, no. I go, yeah, this is crazy. I go, everybody lived. What happened was the plane skid to the Runway and the landing gear didn't come off. So it's like just the bottom of the plane, but everybody lived. And then the late, the hot Puerto Rican girl goes, oh, praise God, praise God. Then they all started saying, praise God, praise God. And I was like, oh, you guys are trying to get me to go to a religious retreat.

[Adam Ray]

I'm like, okay, so you're going to the bang bus.

[Brian Redban]

So then I started asking, asking questions. So I'm like, so are you guys like hardcore Christians? Like, what are you guys? And they're like, yes, you know, and what. We wanted to invite you to, you know, take Jesus into your life and to join us in this retreat. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, but, but thank you.

[Brian Redban]

Now I know why you wanted me to go. I thought she liked me.

[Adam Ray]

Bummer.

[Brian Redban]

It was a bummer. Yeah, but made more sense. I was like, okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Trying to reach recruit. And that's how they do it. They get this hot girl to recruit people.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. I mean, smart on their part.

[Brian Redban]

Smart. But I wonder what it was really? Cuz it seemed a little cultish. It seemed really odd. It wasn't just like, you know, there's a lot of Christians that I know that are great people, and if you told them about a plane crash, they be like, oh, thank God, thank God. But it would be like a normal way to say thank God. You know what I mean? It was a weird praise God, Praise God. They were all saying praise God. And it was, it was odd. It wasn't as simple as, oh, thank God everybody's okay. Yeah, well, thank goodness. Yeah, thank God. God, you know, Oh, I, I pray for those people that they, they, they. Okay, that's normal. Yeah, there's something about praise God. Praise. And all of them saying it. I was like, oh, no.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

God damn it.

[Adam Ray]

Drink this, Joseph.

[Brian Redban]

It was like, like I was in a, a zombie movie where everybody's turning. I was like, oh.

[Adam Ray]

A woman came up to me after my show last weekend and goes, I heard you talk about being nervous flying on stage. And I ran to my car and I know you're a Jew, but I brought you a Bible. And I, I go, I think I'm all right. And she goes, well, wouldn't you like to know, like, where you're going, when you die, if the plane goes down? I go, to be honest, no, I'm. I'm rocking out to my favorite Phil Collins song, hoping that the plane reroutes itself and we actually live. I. If the plane is shaking in a certain way, I don't just go, all right, well, at least I'm going. I'm like, fuck, no, I hope we get out of this. But she was like, oh, well, you wouldn't just.

[Brian Redban]

And. And.

[Adam Ray]

And then she kept pushing it, and she was like, I really think. Jesus. And she kept going off. And then I go, with all due respect, like, I thought you just came in line to take a picture and say hello, you know, I hope you had a good time with the show. She goes, I'm gonna go try that guy. And it's my opener. I go, he's more Jewy than I am, so best of luck. And she went over to him, and I just see him going, like, you know, be like. I tried to be nice and be like, you know, it's. And I was very. I tried to be very, you know, sweet and be like, thanks, but no, thanks, but just so pushy, man.

[Brian Redban]

There's a lot of people that. It gives them validation. You'll follow what they're doing, like. And they also want to, like, guide you. They want to help you.

[Adam Ray]

She thought I was not control you. Yeah. I got no problem if you're like, I want to shoot my shot and see if you're into this. But once I was like, no, thanks. But then she. There was a shift in her eyes of like, o, you're this.

[Brian Redban]

Well, she really believes it.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

She's probably schizophrenic.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

She probably got a mild touch, just a touch of the skits. There's a touch of the skin. A lot of folks out there with a touch. Sure. I don't think it's all full blown. No. There's a lot of people that are just, like, oddly out of touch. We just got to go. I don't think you and I are experiencing the same game.

[Adam Ray]

I'm trying to cross the sidewalk. You're trying to eat it.

[Brian Redban]

You're on some weird, like, level where you're not seeing things the way everybody else does. Yeah, very weird. But some people are like that, and they ruin the idea of religion for a lot of folks because it's like, you associate religion with, like, kooks, you know?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, it's. Yeah. I don't know.

[Jamie]

To.

[Adam Ray]

To need. Being a good person is a pretty easy formula, too.

[Brian Redban]

That's.

[Adam Ray]

I have one friend that's just so. God bless him, he's just so hardcore conservative Christian. And I'm like, do you need all that to justify being a good person? Like, isn't it like there's some golden rules you can fucking follow of treating people the way you want to be treated? It's just too much, in my opinion, you know.

[Brian Redban]

But yeah, well, I think it's a good. It's like a good scaffolding for. For morals and ethics. That's the best thing about religion. Yeah. If you follow people that are like, devoutly religion. Most religions, there's a few religions that preach some sort of. Some pretty radical violence. Yeah. But for the most part, what they're trying to get you to do is be a better person. They're trying to get you to follow morals and ethics and don't lie and, you know, love your neighbor and be a kind person.

[Adam Ray]

Totally. But you can do that without it, can't you?

[Brian Redban]

Can, but it helps. Yeah, it really does. And there's something about, like going to a church where everybody has the same thought. You're all there for the same reason.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You're all there to give your. Your mind, like, give your consciousness, like, think about the. The concept of this higher power and think about what these lessons that are in the Bible really refer to and what they really mean and what actually really probably happened. And it's interesting because you meet like the nicest people that do that. They. So it does work. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like you could get hung up in the weeds about whether or not you believe. You know, Adam and Eve were the first real people. Like, that seems a little sus. You know, the whole Noah's Ark, like, what. That seems a little sauce. But I think outside of that, what you're really dealing with is a bunch of stories where people trying to accurately depict real events, but doing it after hundreds of years of just telling stories by the campfires. And a lot of it's distorted by translations, a lot of it's distorted over time, but I think they were trying to say something. Something very profound. And I don't know what really happened, but I think what they're trying to do is give you some sort of a history of human beings on Earth. It's just a very weird one because if you get into the Old Testament, like the Old Testament has some wild in it, man. You get into like Ezekiel story of seeing the wheel within a wheel in the sky and like heads of animals and all like, what the. Did you see?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, I got to finish. What are doing? You was first.

[Brian Redban]

But people that follow Christianity, that actually do follow it and are like, real Christians are some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. So my point about that is, like, you could get hung up on the weeds on whether or not you think it's a stupid thing to do, but, man, it works. It makes for nicer people.

[Adam Ray]

Sure.

[Brian Redban]

And so that's why I support it. I support that idea of any religion that makes you not, like, even more sermons. It's kind of ridiculous. There's a guy, Joseph Smith, who wrote it. He was 14. Yeah. Who seems to be a little bit of a con man.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You know, said he found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus. And when they said, well, where is it? They go, oh. The angels came and took it away because they didn't think you believed. Only he could read it because he had a magic rock. Like, okay, that's crazy. Wow. You get your own planet when you die. What?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Okay. But, yeah, Mormons are the nicest people on earth.

[Adam Ray]

Totally.

[Brian Redban]

They're the nicest, nicest, friendliest, sweetest people.

[Adam Ray]

And now they have their own show, the Secret Wives of Mormon.

[Brian Redban]

Do they. I haven't watched it.

[Adam Ray]

It's, like, incredibly popular.

[Brian Redban]

Is it?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Is it any good?

[Adam Ray]

I try to watch one episode. I think my wife's into it. It's. It's definitely. It's a real. It's a Real Housewives type show.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

But they're get. The girl from it apparently is now going to be the new Bachelorette, so that's how popular it got.

[Brian Redban]

I saw an ad the other day for the Golden Bachelor.

[Adam Ray]

They're letting old people a bro, it's. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Do the old people get after it?

[Adam Ray]

It's. Bro, it's. The guy was, like, 77. The woman was, like, 74, but she looks 73.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Brian Redban]

And they get after it.

[Adam Ray]

It's like. Yeah. It's like.

[Brian Redban]

Do they make out?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, bro, they. They. They're. I mean, it's really. It's like they've got one last shot at love.

[Brian Redban]

Is that really what they're saying?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. We'll see if. When they wake up from their nap, if this match is really a true match.

[Jamie]

Oh.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, boy. Yeah. And they've all lost somebody. I mean, I watched the first season. It was gripping.

[Brian Redban]

There's something about being lonely and old. It's.

[Adam Ray]

Well, they've all. All their. You know, the Bachelor. The Bachelor and Bachelorette are just like, you know, my name's Kimberly and you know, I'm 29. I'm like, I'm just tired of fuck boys and golden bachelor. She's like, my Name's Theresa. I'm 75. My husband died four years ago, and I don't know if I'll ever see another penis, but I hope I do. I'm paraphrasing, but right. She's jumping back in. And the guy was like, dude, Prince Charming. He looked like Vince McMahon. Pat Sak.

[Brian Redban]

What was the one where they turned.

[Adam Ray]

Out to be a creep though, by the way, he told. Let me say this real quick there. This report just came out. One of the girls goes, who got picked? The golden bachelor picked her. And she goes, yeah, they split shortly after because he was just a lot of people.

[Brian Redban]

People.

[Adam Ray]

This guy was 75, he was just cheating on her. She goes, yeah, he took me on a walk and said, if I ever kill you, this is where I'll chop you up and leave your body. That report came out like three, four days ago.

[Jamie]

Whoa.

[Adam Ray]

That's what the golden bachelor said.

[Brian Redban]

Did they vet this fella?

[Adam Ray]

There he is. Guy said that Jerry, I think, and Teresa.

[Brian Redban]

Jesus.

[Adam Ray]

He looks like a guy who would chop you up. Why say that?

[Brian Redban]

Looks like a guy that would say it at least.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

What was that show where they had these young guys like these older ladies, like milfs, MILF Island. Yes. And then it turns out to be the sons of the other ladies on the show and they start hooking up.

[Adam Ray]

Stop, dude.

[Brian Redban]

Yes, stop. I couldn't even bring myself to watch it.

[Adam Ray]

Why didn't you host that? Dude?

[Brian Redban]

I don't want.

[Adam Ray]

You should have hosted that. Dude.

[Brian Redban]

Listen, I already hosted people eating animal dicks on tv. I think this is a special place.

[Adam Ray]

Really?

[Brian Redban]

By the way, thank you.

[Adam Ray]

That was such a good show, man.

[Jamie]

MILF Manor.

[Adam Ray]

MILF Manor banner.

[Brian Redban]

So that's the story, right? Like they brought in the sons of the other ladies, they put out a.

[Jamie]

Trailer and they were very vague about what the.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah, that's what it is. I mean, these hot milfs and then, you know, they have like 20 year old sons and then the 20 year old sons of the island just banging your mom's friend.

[Adam Ray]

Why isn't there just anal island at this point? I mean, we're so close. It's like there. Some of these even a lot. Even love. That's a lot. Yeah, right.

[Brian Redban]

There's probably a porn. You can get a bet if you just google anal Island. Use your VPN cuz we're in Texas.

[Adam Ray]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

You have to say you're in Maryland, otherwise you can't get online.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, loophole.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. There's a thing where Texas. You have to show government id.

[Jamie]

In season two of MILF Manor, they've added.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie]

They brought in the fathers too. Get in the mix.

[Brian Redban]

So it's the sons.

[Jamie]

Vers. The fathers.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, God. It's a orgy. Disgusting multi generational origin.

[Adam Ray]

Where are they now? Where are the start.

[Jamie]

I mean, they're only two seasons. It's pretty new.

[Brian Redban]

How's it doing?

[Adam Ray]

Great question.

[Brian Redban]

Here's the thing is like, who the is watching tv?

[Jamie]

The moms are really not much older than me, which is tough.

[Brian Redban]

Who would have ever thought that?

[Adam Ray]

That's great.

[Brian Redban]

How old are the moms?

[Jamie]

Almost all in their 40s. There's a couple in there and they hot.

[Brian Redban]

Let me see some photos. See what we're dealing with. Yeah, because you know, you got to f. There's a lot to choose from out there. A lot of milfs want to get on mil.

[Adam Ray]

Want to be on MILF Manor.

[Brian Redban]

If you have a MIL show, you'd probably find quite a few candidates out there in the world.

[Adam Ray]

I think so.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Let's see. What do we got here? Jamie, See some of the. It's on hbo.

[Adam Ray]

Is there a host for the show?

[Brian Redban]

Wait, this is on hbo? The pl. The place that brought you the Sopranos now brings you MILF Manor 2.

[Adam Ray]

Damn. Dude.

[Brian Redban]

Kidding me.

[Adam Ray]

We're heading to the wrong.

[Brian Redban]

Really?

[Adam Ray]

On hbo, Hot single moms dive into a unique.

[Brian Redban]

Is it really in the HBO show?

[Jamie]

TLC show. So it's the hbo.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, I see. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Why do I feel better about that?

[Adam Ray]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

I was like, tlc. HBO goes from Game of Thrones to this. Ooh, A lot of pretty ladies. Okay. They look good. Yeah. Yeah. If there's some 20 year old dudes.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, sure.

[Brian Redban]

Especially that black lady.

[Adam Ray]

She's very hot.

[Brian Redban]

Jeez.

[Jamie]

Okay, there's the father and son.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, we're banging it out, pops.

[Adam Ray]

Wait, so they're.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, so the guys are taking their shirts off and. Okay.

[Adam Ray]

Mommy man. Or two.

[Brian Redban]

This. This weird culture of everybody wanted attention. So strange.

[Adam Ray]

Reality TV. Yeah. I mean, it's so 15 minutes of fame and then you can take that 15 minutes and turn it into a podcast or.

[Brian Redban]

Is that the most popular type of television these days? Is reality tv? Is that the most like, what is popular these days?

[Adam Ray]

Think so. I think that in like true crime docs and then I'd say, but like regular tv, limited series, you know, I just watched as the Murdoch, you know, that. That's a whole story. The Murdoch guy, Alex Murdaugh, killed his wife and son and. No, the lawyer man. Have you heard of this, Jame? This happened probably, I think in 2011. High powerful lawyer in the. I think the Midwest. And his son was driving drunk in a boat accident and with all his friends. Friends and. And one of the girls flew off the boat and died. And so the dad shows up at the hospital. He's just super powerful, dude. And was already, like, stealing money from his, like, business. But he, like, went into, like, the thing and tried to, like, curb the story to the other kids being, like, who was driving the boat, that type of. And then the story got real, just slippery and whatever. And everyone was like, oh. And then the kid got off because of the dad.

[Brian Redban]

Dad.

[Adam Ray]

And the families tried to sue, and it just didn't really happen because the dad was so powerful. And then come to find out that the dad is stealing money from the business, and then the mom and him are having a bad relationship and the kid is getting bullied and teased, and then he ends up murdering his. He ends up murdering his wife and youngest son because he's got a pill problem. He's going to go to jail for. For, you know, tax evasion and money laundering and stealing from his business. And anyway, he's now serving life in prison. Holy Joe, you. I. I don't know what you watch, but it's. Dude, Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark are unfucking real, dude. I just finished it today.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, so it's a recreation of the documentary.

[Jamie]

Well, the doc is also happened, too.

[Adam Ray]

It just happened there still.

[Jamie]

I think some events are still being unfolded.

[Adam Ray]

The doc is also incredible.

[Brian Redban]

But what's the official trailer that you just showed me? That's a different thing.

[Jamie]

Oh, so this was the ne. Two years ago.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Okay. But that's the documentary. Yes.

[Adam Ray]

So the show just came out basically dramatization, but, you know, but they have all the facts. And Joe, it's. It's wild how they end up finding out that it's him. He did not cover his bases at all. I mean, he. But he tried to. He tried to, like, throw the phones away, and then he drove to his mom's as, like, an alibi.

[Brian Redban]

Look how creepy his hands look in that photo. What's going on with that? Why is his hands covered in blood? Oh, man.

[Adam Ray]

Probably just to allude to the murder.

[Brian Redban]

But I guess so, like, that.

[Adam Ray]

That to me, like. But again, it's murder and it's drama, and it's a limited series. I think it was just eight episodes.

[Brian Redban]

Episodes.

[Adam Ray]

People are into that stuff. But the reality.

[Brian Redban]

Kill your wife and your son. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Crazy. Just to. Just to create a distraction, basically, and be like. And victimize himself.

[Brian Redban]

He say, killed his wife and his son, who.

[Adam Ray]

He said it was people that were probably coming after for the whole boat accident because the town had kind of turned on the family. Being like, the kid got away with it because he's a powerful attorney and they. Whatever. And so he tried to go and he cried and they came and he. He was like, I think he's probably the guys that were upset about the boat thing. And we've been getting all these hate. Hateful people coming after us.

[Brian Redban]

And.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

How long did he get away with?

[Adam Ray]

He even cried on the stand. He's still, to this day, snot coming.

[Brian Redban]

Out of his nose.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. He's still, to this day, maintains his innocence, but they put everything together, dude. And on the phone, there's a phone that his son had before. You hear the dad says he wasn't down at the kennels when they were saying bye to the dogs before the mom took off and was like, I'm going to divorce you. I'm going to live at our beach house. So he also was sad about that. And there's. The son had his phone out videotaping the dog, and you hear Alex in the background talking, and he said he wasn't there. So that was a big red flag where it was like, dude, you're on the video.

[Brian Redban]

Crazy.

[Adam Ray]

God.

[Brian Redban]

But, yeah, any kind of guy that's, like, willing to murder his son and his wife is not thinking straight.

[Adam Ray]

Y.

[Brian Redban]

He said he was on pills. What kind of pills is he on? Oxys or something?

[Adam Ray]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Something that was just numbing everything, you.

[Brian Redban]

Know, Some heroin haze.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

With a gun. Yep.

[Adam Ray]

And then he's in jail, and his older son comes to visit him. He's like, dad, did you do this? What's going on? He's like, dude, look at me. Of course not. Why would I. Why would I kill your mother? He's like, it was somebody out there. And he goes. He's like, I'm sorry I lied about being there. I was there. But I. I was there and then I left and I went to go visit your grandma, and then that's when it happened. I mean, the timeline just doesn't. I mean, it doesn't. So his son just, like, like, realizing.

[Brian Redban]

My dad killed my mom.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. And being like, and you're lying to me. You won't even. Even in jail.

[Brian Redban]

You're just like, jail forever.

[Adam Ray]

And then he even goes. He goes, thank God I left. Otherwise they could have, you know, gotten me too wild, dude. Imagine just committing that. Hard to, like, a.

[Brian Redban]

This. Monsters are real.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

There's some people that are just real monsters, you know? Like, what do they say? What percentage of people are sociopaths? Like, complete sociopaths. They have no empathy for other people.

[Adam Ray]

We've clocked that.

[Brian Redban]

There's a. I think they think there's, like, a certain measurable percentage of people that walk amongst us that are complete sociopaths.

[Adam Ray]

Whoa.

[Brian Redban]

And even if they don't do anything horrible, they really don't care about other people. They don't have any feelings about other people.

[Adam Ray]

Both of those are attached to being a sociopath.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. And I think probably there's a connection. And narcissism in there too, but. Okay. 1 to 4% Percentage of people who are sociopaths often associated with antisocial personality disorder is generally estimated with to be around 1 to 4% of the general population. More specifically, some studies suggest about 1 to 2%, with around 3% of males and 1% of females exhibiting sociopathic tendencies. One notable estimate is that approximately 3 to 5Americans could be sociopaths or have ASPD, with some sources citing 1 in 25 people, 4% having as having sociopathic traits. Interesting. Yeah. We gotta think sociopaths are disproportionately represented in prison populations. The thing about sociopaths, though, I don't know if that's a nature or nurture thing, you know, to have, like, no empathy. Is that something that happened because of something that happened to you as a baby?

[Adam Ray]

Probably.

[Brian Redban]

It could be. Like, you. You just. Because everyone cared about you, you didn't care about anybody. Like, you never developed an ability to care. Or is it because I know some people that were terribly treated when they were young, but they're great people.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

They're kind and sweet because the fact they were treated so poorly. They're really kind and sweet to other people.

[Adam Ray]

You can develop that.

[Brian Redban]

What's the difference, though? Between. Is it a. That's the question. Is it, like, is something wrong? It's like, could you be a good person and still be a sociopath? Like, where? Like, you really don't care about other people, but you just do the right thing? Because it seems like the right thing.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But, like.

[Adam Ray]

Like, just because you weren't hugged maybe a ton as a kid. Or maybe you only have.

[Brian Redban]

I'm getting at that. I don't know, maybe it's not. Maybe it's genetic thing. Maybe it's just a weird, like you didn't get all the ingredients, you know?

[Adam Ray]

Could be. Yeah, what a bummer because I feel like that's a pretty common human thread to have empathy.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And compassion. Like that's what keeps us together or traits.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah. It's like people that don't want that. Like, you don't want friends like that. What? You don't care about people.

[Adam Ray]

You kind of need empathy and compassion to interact with anybody, don't you? Like in any situation.

[Brian Redban]

But you could feel fake it, right? You could fake empathy and compassion. If you're a real sociopath that's got a lot of time, like tricking people. Like your whole life you've been tricking people. Maybe you're a real good politician. Yeah. You know anybody like that? And so then. Yeah. And then. So you get to this point where that's like you're just really good at pretending that you care about everything. You really care about nothing.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

What's your best quality?

[Brian Redban]

Mine? Yeah. I have no idea.

[Adam Ray]

What do you like? What do you. If you had to like, oh, my.

[Brian Redban]

Are we on a date? This is crazy.

[Adam Ray]

You're a likable guy. Like, what do you like? What's your. Like? I don't know. What do you. What do you leave with? Your. Your outlook at life? I'd say that. Right. You're a glass half full guy.

[Brian Redban]

I have a good outlook. Yeah. But I've also been very lucky, you know, so there's a lot of that. Like, you have to really take it.

[Adam Ray]

You created your own good luck, though.

[Brian Redban]

Some of it, sure. But some of it is just, you know, you don't get hit in the head by a meteor. You know, you don't die in a car accident. Like, there's some of it is just flat out luck. There's part of life that appears to be very random.

[Adam Ray]

Sure.

[Brian Redban]

You know, and that you can't control. So anybody that's like successful at all. There is a percentage, whatever the percentage is. 30, whatever it is, there's luck. There's luck involved.

[Adam Ray]

But you worked everything you did as far as like having this for sure. Get her attitude and put yourself in positions and then make good on those opportunities.

[Brian Redban]

Right? 100%. But it's also luck.

[Adam Ray]

1,000.

[Brian Redban]

You have to have that. That too. You have to have a bunch of like, Things that happened, you know, in the right order.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

For things to work out well. Because we all know, like, really talented people that for whatever reason, never got it together, you know.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Like, especially in comedy.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Because there's so many people that we know that were, like, really talented. Like, they had something special and they just never followed through or they just died or they couldn't deal with the rejection. They couldn't deal with the bombing on stage. They couldn't deal with the hours that you have to be put in. And they fell. Fell off.

[Adam Ray]

Dude.

[Brian Redban]

There was a lot of guys from, like, the early days where I was like, man, this guy's going to be huge.

[Adam Ray]

You think there's more people that, like, if you started then versus now would drop off. Because again, like, we were talking about with clips and just having more ways to be discovered or have more opportunities to.

[Brian Redban]

They'd have more of a chance. Yeah, yeah. You had a very few chances back in the day. The chances back in the day were real simple. You had to either get on evening at the Improv or the MTV half hour Comedy hour or Letterman. Letterman was like the golden goose or the Tonight show when Johnny Carson was running it. If you got on the Tonight show when Johnny Carson was running it, like, you could literally legitimately have like, a full career. And that. A career back then was a club comic. A career was a touring club comic.

[Adam Ray]

So you just named four opportunities.

[Brian Redban]

Yes.

[Adam Ray]

That's.

[Brian Redban]

They were really hard to get on to. Well, the. The Letterman one was the. The ones that were easier to get on was like, they. They filmed a lot of those MTV half hour comedy hours. So a lot of people got on those, and you really only needed, like, seven minutes.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So there was a lot of those, and that helped. And then. So you could say as seen on MTV's half hour comedy Hour, and someone comes to you at the Comedy Hut.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And then you're out there, you know, working. But there wasn't a lot of things that could turn you into, like, an act that could draw on the road anywhere. You were basically like, oh, this guy was on Comedy Central, so he must be funny. Let's take a chance and go see.

[Jamie]

See them.

[Brian Redban]

Sure. And then if you did it a bunch of times, you develop, like, a following in certain cities where people would come back to see you again because they had a good time last time. But now, you know, all you have to do is just have a clip and that clip goes viral and then you're selling out theaters, like, right away.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

So it's definitely more opportunity for someone to pop. And there was a lot of guys back then that had like great bits hits and they just never got the show. They never got this. They developed alcohol problem. Whatever.

[Adam Ray]

It was more consistent stability and maybe just wanted like income that was.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, there's a lot of that too. Or they get married and have a child and then the wife is like, hey, you need to get a regular job. This dream is crazy. It's killing us. You got to be home, you know, you can't go out on the weekends, every weekend and make $200. It's crazy, you know?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. My brother in law was rapping and slinging weed and then they got my. My brother in law is a white rapper named Dirty shout out. And he. My sister when they got married was like, yeah, you can't be doing. Like, she didn't shut down the performing, but she was like the. The drug stuff's gotta.

[Brian Redban]

Yes. Not good.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. We got kids like, you shouldn't be a drug people shouldn't be coming to the house.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. And a daddy.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Good advice.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Sound advice from a woman.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, yeah. She knows she's cleaned him up.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. It's the. The dream of trying to make it in the rap world is probably just as hard, if not harder than the dream of trying to make it in comedy. Right.

[Adam Ray]

He had a nice little run.

[Brian Redban]

He.

[Adam Ray]

I let him close out our Seattle Dr. Phil live show.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, really?

[Adam Ray]

Cool. Yeah, we did like the Neptune up there, which like 1100 seats. My nieces who'd never wrapped.

[Brian Redban]

How'd he go? Awesome.

[Adam Ray]

He murdered.

[Brian Redban]

Is he killer?

[Adam Ray]

Dirty.

[Brian Redban]

Pull them up. Let me hear it. Okay. Tell everybody where you're going to be. Tell everybody how they can find you online.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. On tour right now. Clubs the rest of the year. Last Dr. Phil live at the Wiltern. December 16th. I'm doing the Moore Theater in Seattle. First theater show home in Seattle December 19th. And then the theater tour. The who is me theater tour. Starts in January, goes through April. Adami.com specials like and subscribe on YouTube where you are right now. Adam Ray, Comedy Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, tick tock.

[Brian Redban]

Are you around tonight? You want to do a set?

[Adam Ray]

I'm leaving tonight.

[Brian Redban]

Are you flying back?

[Adam Ray]

You dude, I love you. I had a feeling you were gonna ask and I. Sorry to leave right after this, but.

[Brian Redban]

Were you here last night?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, I did. Yeah. I didn't know if I should bug you or just Adam, like, what's.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, just text me.

[Adam Ray]

Really? All right.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah. Anytime you're in town, you can do a set.

[Adam Ray]

I love you.

[Brian Redban]

I love you, too.

[Adam Ray]

Thanks for having me.

[Brian Redban]

It was a lot of fun.

[Adam Ray]

Always.

[Brian Redban]

Always. Yeah. And if anybody's ever seen Adam on Kill Tony, they literally are some of the funniest episodes of all time.

[Adam Ray]

Thanks, brother.

[Brian Redban]

The Dr. Phil one's fantastic. The Biden one's fantastic. Fantastic. You're really good at it.

[Adam Ray]

I appreciate it, man. Yeah. You called me after the Tony app, which was really cool, man. I thought it was a butt dial.

[Brian Redban]

So good. It was so good. I was dying. I was like, oh, no. I was watching it going, oh, no. Because it was, like, so dead on.

[Adam Ray]

Did you know what's happening or did he give you.

[Brian Redban]

No, I had no idea. I had no idea. Yes. I had no idea.

[Adam Ray]

You don't go to all of them, right?

[Brian Redban]

No, I had no idea that you should up.

[Adam Ray]

You're just randomly there for that. I thought he told you and that's why you.

[Brian Redban]

No, no, no. I come to a few, you know, I've come to a bunch. Yeah. But I know that one was awesome. It was awesome.

[Adam Ray]

You're the man, Joe.

[Brian Redban]

Appreciate you, brother. All right, bye, everybody.

[Adam Ray]

See you guys.