#2493 - Protect Our Parks 16

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #2493 – Protect Our Parks 16

Date: May 1, 2026
Host: Joe Rogan
Guests: Mark Normand, Shane Gillis, Jamie Lee

---

Episode Overview

In this raucous and irreverent reunion, Joe Rogan welcomes comedians Mark Normand, Shane Gillis, and Jamie Lee for the 16th installment of the fan-favorite "Protect Our Parks." The crew delivers a classic mix of unfiltered comedy, unrestrained banter, and pointed commentary on everything from viral hoaxes and pop culture to political scandals, criminal justice, health care, and the evolution of stand-up comedy itself.

Main Theme:
A comedic and candid roundtable diving into the year’s wild news stories, the state of comedy, conspiracy talk, health, fame, and the ever-favorite subjects of sex, drugs, and insanity among the powerful and powerless alike. The episode captures the authentic chemistry and comedic chaos that made "Protect Our Parks" a global cult hit.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Viral Hoaxes, News, and Scandal Stories

• The comedians open with a satirical breakdown of a recent workplace sexual harassment lawsuit that turned out to be fabricated (00:44–03:59). They lampoon the language in the claim ("cannons" for breasts) and the double standards in public reaction.
  • Quote: "When a lady calls her tits cannons – who says that? That’s not a lady." — Mark Normand (01:25)
• Discussion of middle-aged sexual "horrors" and scandals (03:32), referencing various high-profile cases and mocking how society and the media treat female versus male offenders.
  • Comment on the "journalist having emotional affairs" with public figures (04:01–05:01).
• The group revisit the RFK Jr. texting scandal and other salacious correspondence stories, poking fun at stilted, literary sexts ("awaiting my harvest," "I am a river...") and the performative side of political communication (05:31–06:02).
  • Quote: “I'll hold your nose as you look up to me—to encourage you to swallow. … I am a river, you are my canyon.” — Shane Gillis (05:50)

2. Conspiracies and Political Dark Arts

• Takedown of JFK and UFO conspiracy cover-ups, including the CIA’s mind control experiments (MKUltra), Midnight Climax, and how institutional secrecy persists (16:13–17:40).
  • Quote: "They ran brothels where they gave the Johns acid and watched through a two-way mirror." — Mark Normand (17:41)
• Exploration of the Trump assassination attempt and wild time-travel/Twitter conspiracies ("Was this all planned? Did someone from the future leave a clue?") (10:20–12:26).
• Discussion on the criminal justice system, treated with sarcasm and disbelief at double standards in high-profile cases (24:08–25:38).
• Tangent on retaliatory lawsuits, cancel culture, and how fabricated allegations destroy reputations and careers—a running skepticism about justice via media (27:00–27:35).

3. Stand-Up, Fame, and the State of Comedy

• Reflection on the evolution of stand-up: from clubs to arenas, social media traction, and the pressure to "go viral" as a measure of talent (107:00–108:44).
  • "Comedians always have excuses for why they’re not successful... it’s about you.” — Mark Normand (107:43)
• The cult success of "Protect Our Parks" and global demand for new episodes (23:21–23:59).
• Anecdotes about surviving cancellation and how hardship sometimes sharpens a comic’s edge—"You survive a cancellation, you come out… a bit more funny" (27:57).
• Tribute segments for comedy legends like George Carlin and Rodney Dangerfield; behind-the-scenes tales of wild showbiz moments, Vegas gigs, and the joys of brotherhood on the road (99:00–172:10).

4. Health, Pharmaceuticals, and the US System

• Extended riff on the state of US healthcare, insurance rackets, and why universal healthcare is stalled despite astronomical costs and inefficiencies (75:29–77:35).
  • Quote: "Universal health care system would cost 3 trillion, but the current system is 5.3 trillion. So you’re saving almost 50%." — Shane Gillis (76:31)
• Comparisons to affordable, effective care in other countries and medical tourism for surgery, dental work, fat-loss medication scandals, and the weirdness of American pharmaceutical pricing (77:19–80:26).
• Psychedelic therapy (ibogaine, mushrooms) and the push towards legalizing effective, nontraditional treatment options for addiction, trauma, and mental health (132:00–134:15).
• Anecdotes about botched or excessive marijuana edible experiences (36:13–38:14).

5. American Grit, Scandals, and Societal Double Standards

• Hilarious analysis of prostitution laws, Asian massage parlors, and what societies could look like if sex work were decriminalized (18:21–22:26).
• Comment on the US’ "overreaction" style of governance—addressing problems with maximal force (73:51–74:02).
• Observations on the cyclical nature of political hypocrisy and the merging of left/right outrage machines (64:43).
  • “It’s so funny…the right wing turned into the same pussy faggots the left wing are.” — Shane Gillis (64:43)
• Dark humor about ICE, border patrol, civil unrest, the militarization of police, and American protest culture (68:24–73:08).

6. Internet & Cultural Commentary

• Sarcastic takes on social media fame, looks-maxing, and influencer trends (54:37–56:09).
  • "Apparently he hits his face with a hammer to put micro breaks on his face. That’s just trans — you're just man-to-man trans." — Shane Gillis (54:49)
• Roasting culture, the art of brutal jokes, and Netflix's effect on modern comedy exposure (122:31–124:57).
• The pitfalls of fame—changing (or not changing) with money—and remaining authentic despite the weirdness of success (91:20–93:04).

7. Sports, MMA, and Absurd Talents

• UFC strategies, trash talk as emotional warfare, and tales of jaw-dropping stunts in both sports and "Jackass"-style daredevilry (143:40–146:47, 42:41–45:12).
• Recounting wild physical challenges, such as the “999” (nine beers, nine hot dogs, nine innings) and gluttonous competitions (137:35–138:14).
• Amputee cornhole champion’s infamous shooting (148:52–152:18).
  • "He shot a guy with no arms and no legs. You got to hand it to him." — Joe Rogan (150:01)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Everyone wants to get famous… It used to be, what are your goals? Now it's just get famous." — Mark Normand (54:21)
• "Joey Diaz would swap out the 25mg edibles for 250s…" — Mark Normand (37:17)
• "Fun is key. Like, I'll do number one. And you make, what, $17? But it’s fun. It's a great weekend." — Joe Rogan (118:40)
• "I wish you were my dad, by the way." — Joe Rogan to Mark Normand (108:10)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:44–03:59: Hoax lawsuit at JP Morgan (cannons, workplace allegations)
• 04:01–06:02: RFK texts, middle-aged sex scandals, sexting language dissected
• 10:20–12:26: Trump assassination attempt, time-travel/x conspiracy
• 16:13–17:40: MKUltra, mind control & CIA brothels
• 24:08–25:38: False accusations, “cancel culture” & destroyed careers
• 36:13–38:14: Joey Diaz’s edible pranks & weed horror stories
• 54:37–56:09: Looks-maxing, streamers, masculine beauty obsessions
• 75:29–77:35: US healthcare system analysis
• 91:20–93:04: How money changes comics (or doesn’t)
• 99:00–172:10: Legendary comics, Rodney Dangerfield, Carlin, classic wild stories
• 122:31–124:57: Roasting and the art of offensive humor, Netflix/espys
• 143:40–146:47: UFC, Sean Strickland, emotional warfare in the fight game
• 148:52–152:18: The armless, legless cornhole shooter
• 162:03–167:18: Muscle cars, buying advice, the eternal search for the perfect ride
• 172:10–188:38: Reflecting on classic gigs, stand-up camaraderie
• 188:32–end: Closing thanks, more tour stories, and heartfelt/funny goodbyes

---

Episode Tone and Highlights

• Camaraderie & Unfiltered Comedy: The tone is rowdy, brotherly, and unguarded.
• Scathing Satire: Nothing is off-limits; everything from politicians to sexual mores to health care and pop culture is fodder for irreverent, often crude humor.
• Reflective Moments: Occasional sincere notes on what matters in comedy, handling fame, and helping others in the business.

---

For New Listeners

This episode is a prime example of "Protect Our Parks": off-the-rails, table-pounding laughs, inside-baseball for comedy nerds, and a trusty skewering of sacred cows. If you want the full experience of contemporary stand-up culture, shady recent history, and the essence of uncensored comic friendship, this is quintessential JRE.

---

Note: All timestamps follow the initial transcript as provided. Topics skip non-content sections such as ads, intros/outros.

Transcript

[Joe Rogan]

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

[Mark Normand]

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night.

[Joe Rogan]

All day.

[Jamie Lee]

Let's go.

[Shane Gillis]

We are back.

[Joe Rogan]

We're Comedy Oasis.

[Shane Gillis]

That's right.

[Mark Normand]

What's the story, morning glory? It's been almost a year.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow, it's flying by. What are we, 12 now? Is this 12 episodes?

[Jamie Lee]

I think we're.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, 16?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, 40.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn, that's a lot of drink.

[Mark Normand]

How many times have we played Freebird?

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, we're playing it again. We're gonna go to the exact same episode we always did.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we're talking about coming out of the closet.

[Joe Rogan]

Play Metallica.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, play Metallica.

[Joe Rogan]

R. Kelly.

[Mark Normand]

So it turns out that that lady. That. That was a scam. That was fake. The lady who forced the guy to her. It was it JP Morgan.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Wasn't real.

[Joe Rogan]

She was hot.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Shane Gillis]

Was that in the last one we did?

[Mark Normand]

Jamie said it's fake, right? It's fake.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. The news is going around that it's like there was like a. The lawsuit is not accurate, apparently. It's like a retaliatory lawsuit.

[Mark Normand]

So he just claimed that she said all those things and she made him her.

[Jamie Lee]

Damn, what a Wait, is he an Indian guy?

[Mark Normand]

I believe so. Yeah. Gross.

[Jamie Lee]

It does read like an Indian guy. Now that I'm thinking about like a scam. Like the horniest guy ever. Just coming up with the hottest scene. She called him cannons.

[Mark Normand]

When she once a lady calls her tits cannons. Who? Have you heard of a girl call her.

[Shane Gillis]

It's such a 18 year old, 16

[Jamie Lee]

year old boy thing.

[Joe Rogan]

I've never heard cannons.

[Shane Gillis]

Cannons. Gazongas.

[Mark Normand]

Guys talk about a girl's cannons when she's nowhere near them.

[Joe Rogan]

I've heard cans.

[Mark Normand]

Cans.

[Joe Rogan]

Cans, sure. Yeah. Torpedoes.

[Mark Normand]

I've heard cannons.

[Joe Rogan]

I think.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm pretty sure jugs, Nick. Cannons.

[Joe Rogan]

Jugs. Sweater puppets. Fun bags. Knockers.

[Shane Gillis]

They're just boobs and tits. But a lady saying that, that's no lady.

[Mark Normand]

I'm sure she said she did. She said, I'm sure your fish head Asian wife doesn't have cannons like this.

[Joe Rogan]

Fish head.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what he said.

[Mark Normand]

That's what he said she said.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

What's that to me? More movies? He's claiming it's that striptease. No, no. She was the boss and she made the guy fuck her.

[Joe Rogan]

Disclosure.

[Shane Gillis]

Disclosure.

[Joe Rogan]

I used to yank it to that one.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, gosh.

[Jamie Lee]

Article almost made me yank it this morning.

[Joe Rogan]

I know, right?

[Jamie Lee]

Laying in bed seeing that Twitter thing.

[Shane Gillis]

Fish head.

[Mark Normand]

She's hot.

[Joe Rogan]

Indian gu. Should Write more.

[Shane Gillis]

This guy's a writer. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So if she. If he got fired and he made up that story, like, what should the repercussions be?

[Shane Gillis]

Jail.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You can't just do that especially.

[Mark Normand]

Well, for sure, it's well written. It was a guy. The guy would be f. If it was a guy and a woman claimed that the guy said these terrible things, the guy would be fired. He would be shamed. But no one's mad at that lady. No, no, no. Mad at that lady for making him her.

[Joe Rogan]

No, he loved the lady.

[Shane Gillis]

Even in the moment before it was. Came out as a hoax, when they thought it was true, her boss was like, come on, you can't be doing that. That's about as bad as it got.

[Mark Normand]

Or he pulled her into the office and go, let me see him.

[Shane Gillis]

Let me see these cannons bust out the missiles. We just got to do our research. Due diligence. I just got to see the cannons.

[Jamie Lee]

Which also just to.

[Shane Gillis]

He might.

[Jamie Lee]

He might be telling the truth. Is it. Are we sure it's fake yet?

[Shane Gillis]

Are we sure it's fake?

[Jamie Lee]

Can a boy dream?

[Joe Rogan]

What a great.

[Shane Gillis]

What a great way to have no one believe you is if you intentionally use words like that. Like, I would never speak that way.

[Joe Rogan]

There's been a string of middle. Middle age horrors going around lately. Have you noticed that?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, it's back.

[Joe Rogan]

It's back. Like, the reporter chick who's been banging the football coach. Christy Gnome was cheating on that guy with the tits.

[Mark Normand]

Guy with the tits was rocks.

[Jamie Lee]

Those are candidates.

[Shane Gillis]

The chick who wrote the RFK article that had a deeply emotional relationship with him.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, really?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That was the second one. It was crazy. Then there was a second one she had, like, that. She. She likes to get her. Know her subjects.

[Jamie Lee]

The text. The texts were wild, though.

[Shane Gillis]

Deeply emotional.

[Mark Normand]

Pull them up, both back and forth. His version was.

[Jamie Lee]

Wait, this is a while ago, right? Yeah, this.

[Shane Gillis]

A couple years ago.

[Jamie Lee]

Something that, like, Let my river flow into your.

[Mark Normand]

It was.

[Jamie Lee]

It was odd.

[Joe Rogan]

It's like a Dave Matthews song. Yeah. Damn. Does he. Does he text like he talks? Is it all jumbly?

[Mark Normand]

But see, for a lady, it's like a free shot. You never have to worry about getting in trouble. Like, no one's even going to be in trouble. She's.

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Mark Normand]

No one's going to be mad at her as a journalist even. It's not like she's discredited.

[Shane Gillis]

No. My husband was like, I'm. This is kind of lame. The husband didn't love it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, she's married.

[Jamie Lee]

Which one?

[Mark Normand]

Freak? Yeah, the reporter with rfk. Allegedly.

[Joe Rogan]

He was a heroin addict, too. He's a fun dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Fun. Got after it.

[Mark Normand]

I like.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Lived his life.

[Mark Normand]

I like him a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

Didn't used to stutter.

[Joe Rogan]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

It's not a stutter. It's a. It's a vaccine injury.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, really?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He didn't used to talk that way?

[Mark Normand]

No. From the flu vaccine? Yeah. You see videos of him from the 90s.

[Joe Rogan]

He had a great voice, great black hair.

[Jamie Lee]

Are you reading the text? They're hilarious.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like Prince Charles. Any dude who tries to be like. It's like you don't know how to do it.

[Mark Normand]

It's a poem. Yeah. As soon as you're writing a lady a poem, it's over. How do we know this is true?

[Shane Gillis]

I think it was. It was verified. From what I remember, it was verified.

[Mark Normand]

Olivia Nuzzy sounds like a freak.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. She's sharing it, so. I mean, it could be from anybody.

[Shane Gillis]

She sounds like Staten island trash.

[Jamie Lee]

Awaiting my harvest.

[Joe Rogan]

There we go.

[Mark Normand]

She looks like fun.

[Joe Rogan]

Not too shabby.

[Shane Gillis]

Don't spill a drop.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you're open yr. Who writes yr for your? Come on. Really? Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest. That doesn't even make sense.

[Joe Rogan]

You think he eats ass because that's processed.

[Shane Gillis]

This is my favorite one. I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth. I'll hold your nose as you look up to me to encourage you to swallow.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Shane Gillis]

Don't spill a drop. I am a river. You are my canyon.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Baja, baby.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

I'm not buying this. That sounds like literature.

[Joe Rogan]

But I can't have a pop Tart.

[Mark Normand]

You can't have Fruit Loops with the

[Joe Rogan]

good colors jizzing in her mouth.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't want these gray Froot Loops, dude. That's half the fun.

[Joe Rogan]

You ever seen Canadian Fruit Loops? They're bland and dim and dull.

[Mark Normand]

That's what they're gonna settle here now. It's over.

[Joe Rogan]

We used to be a country.

[Mark Normand]

It's over. But this has got to be a way to make them prettier.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Without giving you ass cancer, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Some way, bro.

[Mark Normand]

A lot of people getting ass cancer.

[Joe Rogan]

I saw that.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Dude's like, since early 30s. He's got stage three ass cancer. Yeah, but he also took four shots.

[Joe Rogan]

Four of them. Huh?

[Shane Gillis]

For what? Shots.

[Mark Normand]

Vaccines.

[Shane Gillis]

And that gives you ass cancer?

[Mark Normand]

Can give you cancer. Allegedly.

[Shane Gillis]

Did he boof the shots?

[Mark Normand]

That's the way to do it. If you really want to get.

[Shane Gillis]

Don't Tell me how to take the vaccine.

[Mark Normand]

Stuck the actual needle right into the hole.

[Shane Gillis]

In West Hollywood, they just got a plunger.

[Joe Rogan]

Jimmy Boofin.

[Jamie Lee]

You got the boofer.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, Trump almost got a shot the other day.

[Mark Normand]

Isn't that crazy?

[Joe Rogan]

What do I think that's the third

[Mark Normand]

assassination attempt on that dude.

[Jamie Lee]

A guy Run rancher in passing.

[Mark Normand]

Assassination attempt?

[Joe Rogan]

Not really.

[Mark Normand]

At the White House press correspondence dinner

[Joe Rogan]

where Reagan got shot. Same hotel.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh really?

[Joe Rogan]

So that was the trip Advisor.

[Shane Gillis]

Must be rough on that correspondence dinner. Was there a comedian there?

[Joe Rogan]

No, as the Mentalist.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Ozd Mentalist.

[Jamie Lee]

You think he would have saw it coming?

[Joe Rogan]

He did.

[Shane Gillis]

He probably kept his mouth shut. He's like, I think we're gonna go attack two more Arab countries.

[Jamie Lee]

You know, it's hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

Metzger goes, did you see the fake assassination attempt?

[Shane Gillis]

Don't you know, don't you know about Gilgamesh? He always brings in his references.

[Mark Normand]

Rothschilds.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you saying? I don't know. You need the references.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you don't know.

[Joe Rogan]

If Metzger can't get it up, he's like Israel. Yeah, everything's Israel.

[Jamie Lee]

Pretty good excuse.

[Joe Rogan]

Everything.

[Mark Normand]

Kanye clips you're showing me are wild.

[Jamie Lee]

He's the best.

[Mark Normand]

This episode is brought to you by Traeger Grills. If you enjoy food, and I mean really good food, Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood fired flavor thanks to the all natural natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke or bake. That's it. Just wood and fire and flavor. And what's truly wild is how easy it is. Just set the temp, load the grill and let Traeger handle the rest. Grill, steak, smoke, ribs, even baked pizza, all on one grill. If you're into fire, flavor and doing things right, check out Traeger grills. He's so fun.

[Joe Rogan]

What's nice with the shooter was mixed race.

[Shane Gillis]

That's nice.

[Mark Normand]

Is that nice?

[Joe Rogan]

That's nice because you know, you're always like, don't be white, don't be white

[Mark Normand]

or don't be black, don't be an Arab. Just a liberal.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Just a standard American liberal. Had enough of the whatever you want to say. He is dictator.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, right, right. Fascism, the whole thing.

[Mark Normand]

Fascism. Pedophile.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, he was like a smart guy, valedictorian. He was like a scientisty guy.

[Mark Normand]

I think he was a teacher.

[Shane Gillis]

Must be extra tough for those guys cuz they're like so like you haven't Gotten to a fight since you were 7, and then you're going to get

[Jamie Lee]

a gun and try to, like, kill

[Shane Gillis]

a high level person? What a step up.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, he.

[Mark Normand]

He shot a Secret Service guy in the vest?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Oh, I don't know who shot who.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Shane Gillis]

You're saying the Secret Service guy shot himself?

[Mark Normand]

Not himself. He might have been friendly.

[Shane Gillis]

Was trying to get out.

[Mark Normand]

It might have been friendly.

[Jamie Lee]

Var.

[Joe Rogan]

Is it that lady again?

[Jamie Lee]

Yes, I think the lady was the

[Mark Normand]

one that looks like me.

[Jamie Lee]

We were joking around about it in the green room.

[Mark Normand]

Imagine if she was like, I know I up way back in July, but look, guys, I'm better. I've been working out. Yeah, this is their second assignment.

[Joe Rogan]

We didn't talk about this part yet. The tweet. This is the guy.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, the weird time machine tweet. Yeah. This is nuts. So the Cole Allen guy tried to kill Trump. It's not inside the White House though, right? It was at a hotel.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. An x account for 2023 wrote a single tweet with that name.

[Jamie Lee]

With what?

[Mark Normand]

So just wrote Cole Allen from 2023. The profile belongs to Henry Martinez, a NASA scientist who's missing the background image from a website called Time Machine. If you de digitize it, the 2024 assassination attempt photos appears, but with a hole in the head instead of the ear. The profile picture is a green toad in a tuxedo with a glass exactly like Trump in the assassination attempt. Either it's the most elaborate psyop in history, or someone from the future is leaving clues in the past. That only makes sense once the events happen.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, why does time travelers keep trying to kill me?

[Joe Rogan]

Wait a minute.

[Mark Normand]

How is that picture the same? That is not the same. That's just a bunch of colors. And you could decide it's the same.

[Shane Gillis]

No, you got to decode it.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it's like a meta decode.

[Shane Gillis]

It seems you got to squeeze your eyes together. It appears if you squeeze your eyes together.

[Joe Rogan]

Sailboat.

[Mark Normand]

What do you like one of those things where you could see, like words

[Shane Gillis]

in a. Yeah, it was always a

[Joe Rogan]

sailboat or guitar is up there. Mall rats.

[Mark Normand]

Do you think that makes sense?

[Joe Rogan]

Jamie, this picture, part of it does not make a lot of sense, I don't think.

[Mark Normand]

But it is weird that the guy is strange. The tweet is nuts.

[Joe Rogan]

The tweet is strange enough from two

[Shane Gillis]

years ago, so he's trying to work up the courage.

[Mark Normand]

Three years.

[Shane Gillis]

23.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. And then the fact that it's a Frog. It's one of those KEK guys, right? Those nutty pranksters.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, he was just tried to search somebody's name. He just got it right. Cool guy.

[Mark Normand]

Is that the only tweet this guy ever made?

[Joe Rogan]

I think so. Weird. There is a bunch of random Twitter accounts that have tweeted random names just one time. So I don't know like what? Oh really odds of that happening are pretty slim I believe.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

These are the eight guys we have trying to like work with mentally. So like one of them will be activated and try to kill somebody. So let's get right.

[Mark Normand]

Let's get into.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So that guy really was. Is that factual though? That the guy really was a NASA scientist? Scientist. Henry Martinez.

[Joe Rogan]

But well so when the people were looking up his history this he had a brief I think like an internship at jpl, NASA, you know, Jet Labs or something.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And I think the other guy did too. That I don't know that anybody knows

[Mark Normand]

more than it is weird where you find out. A lot of these guys have these weird ties. Like yeah, that guy who tried to shoot Trump in Pennsylvania was in a BlackRock commercial.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's all connected.

[Shane Gillis]

I did a lot of commercials when I was coming up and I BlackRock never. I didn't get an audition for any of those.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, right.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't know how you get that.

[Joe Rogan]

I'd love to get that gig.

[Shane Gillis]

It's gotta be non union.

[Mark Normand]

Not only that, like you definitely get brought into the fold.

[Joe Rogan]

He was teacher of the year, this guy.

[Shane Gillis]

So did this guy get shot off? Was he close enough to get a shot?

[Mark Normand]

Allegedly. Jamie said allegedly he shot a secret service guy.

[Shane Gillis]

How are these guys getting so close?

[Mark Normand]

But it might have been that lady. The fat lady.

[Jamie Lee]

Well this guy shot him.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe trying to get her gun out.

[Jamie Lee]

No.

[Mark Normand]

P320 it might have shot himself.

[Jamie Lee]

She's handsome him.

[Mark Normand]

It's. It's just crazy that they don't have better security.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. What the hell.

[Mark Normand]

How the guy get in the hotel with a gun? Like how are you not checking every room? How are you not like checking everyone's bags if you know that the President and all Marco Rubio all these people are going to be there and you don't and Oz the Mentalist. And you don't have someone checking guns.

[Shane Gillis]

Why is there better security at the Improv on Black Comic Night?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Throw up a metal detector.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's just crazy that they don't check for guns.

[Joe Rogan]

That's wild.

[Mark Normand]

On a day where it's like the president is going to be there. You didn't check for guns. I get it.

[Shane Gillis]

If it's like a UFC sniper or somewhere. It's like we can't check everybody like that. It's like 20,000. But, like, this is so small.

[Joe Rogan]

They're saying he did shoot him, but I don't. That's.

[Mark Normand]

This was the first Secret Service agent did not shoot himself. I don't think there's any question what happened here.

[Jamie Lee]

That video they're playing is the AI video.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that's.

[Mark Normand]

Well, no, this is the real video, which is blurry. And then AI they enhanced it because this hotel is shitty. Old cameras, which is crazy, by the way. Guys putting in some work there.

[Joe Rogan]

There's some speed. He's got wheels.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he moves. That guy can move half black, half black.

[Joe Rogan]

Teacher. He can shoot teachers. You know, it's. They work at a school.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, what did he think was going to happen? He was going to get past all the secret security guys, get through the crowd, find Trump behind the stage and shoot him. Like, how do you think he was going to get to it?

[Shane Gillis]

I think these guys don't think it up. I bet they go like, I'm going to shoot him. Then everyone's going to love me.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. They're going to be Luigi or some.

[Mark Normand]

It might be schizophrenia, too.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He might be out of his mind,

[Joe Rogan]

but he lived, right? He's in jail.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he lived.

[Shane Gillis]

The guy who shot Reagan was like, taxi driver told me to do it. Well, he rules, so it's like.

[Mark Normand]

I think he's out.

[Joe Rogan]

Was that Hinkley?

[Mark Normand]

Hinkley's out.

[Jamie Lee]

He's playing music.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he plays music.

[Jamie Lee]

I think we've covered this. On is terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He was inspired by Jody Froster. Jody Foster made him shoot. There it is.

[Joe Rogan]

I will be your man.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a threat.

[Mark Normand]

2023 recent recent release. Can't wait. Let's hear 2023.

[Shane Gillis]

I like his job title.

[Mark Normand]

Let's hear criminal. I want to hear I will be your man. Let's hear what Hinkley's. What his jams are like.

[Joe Rogan]

You're going to pay for this.

[Mark Normand]

We have to pay for that.

[Joe Rogan]

No, I have to edit that.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, man.

[Mark Normand]

He's got his name on the guitar. Just in case you don't know who shot Lincoln.

[Joe Rogan]

Shoot him.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah, he's trying to. I misunderstood.

[Jamie Lee]

That's what MK Ultra does to a man.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He looks like his brain's been washed. Yeah, like they just poured bleach in his ears.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they're gonna release MK ULTRA files this week, I think.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I bet they were supposed to release UFO files.

[Shane Gillis]

A lot of black lines coming in that one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Whatever happened to the UFO files?

[Shane Gillis]

Did he do Kennedy yet? Did Kennedy out?

[Jamie Lee]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Joe Rogan]

What? Jfk?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Turns out there's some stuff in there that we couldn't see.

[Joe Rogan]

CIA?

[Shane Gillis]

Yep.

[Jamie Lee]

Maybe some other ones.

[Mark Normand]

Congresswoman Anna Polina Luna Lance's house. Hearings on MK ULTRA next month.

[Joe Rogan]

What is that a gang?

[Shane Gillis]

No, I did see.

[Mark Normand]

You don't know what that is? That's the mind control experiments that the CIA did in the 1960s on just

[Shane Gillis]

people going to hookers. Good, honest people going to hookers. They took advantage of them.

[Mark Normand]

That's one part of it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That was Operation Midnight Climax. They ran Broth.

[Shane Gillis]

What a good name.

[Mark Normand]

Solid name. Yeah, that's. That's perf. That's absolutely proven. That's all from a Freedom of Information act request and from some documents that they found.

[Jamie Lee]

What's the guy's name that was like the head of MK Ultra?

[Mark Normand]

Jolly West.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. And then he went and saw Jack Ruby and.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Jack Ruby went crazy.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Started saying they were lighting Jews on fire in hell. Like they gave him acid. Yeah. He's also was connected to Manson.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like this guy was running mind control operations all throughout the country.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

They ran brothels where they gave the John's acid and the. The ladies would come out and give the John's acid and they would watch through a two way mirror and then film them.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Jamie Lee]

Hell of a night at the brothel.

[Shane Gillis]

This lady's is out of words, talking

[Mark Normand]

to me, trying to get laid. Next thing you know, you're seeing Jesus, is that a candle?

[Jamie Lee]

You lean into it. That's a good night, right? Get a hooker, you go.

[Joe Rogan]

If you lean into it.

[Mark Normand]

Meanwhile, your wife's at home waiting for the milk and Brad come back for

[Shane Gillis]

30 minutes just trying to get a hand job.

[Joe Rogan]

It's the worst lie ever. The CIA, they drugged me. What do you want?

[Mark Normand]

How many marriages would completely dissolve if prostitution was totally legal?

[Shane Gillis]

It'd be a lot easier to do.

[Joe Rogan]

Are they talking? That's the thing, the.

[Mark Normand]

The hooker.

[Shane Gillis]

No, but guys are bad at covering up.

[Mark Normand]

It's like Uber ratings, you know?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that would.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I'm saying? Like some Uber drivers, they won't shut the fuck up.

[Jamie Lee]

They won't. My passenger score.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I don't want an Excel either.

[Shane Gillis]

For prostitutes.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean?

[Joe Rogan]

If they.

[Mark Normand]

If they made prostitution completely legal.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And then they had scores. Do you don't think gals would do it? I think they would. I think there'd be plenty of gals

[Shane Gillis]

ready to sign up. Prostitution was only doing it, and it's illegal.

[Mark Normand]

How so? Oh, yeah, they are.

[Shane Gillis]

So of course, if you took down the barriers, yeah, they would keep doing it.

[Mark Normand]

Isn't it legal in New York City now?

[Shane Gillis]

Prostitution?

[Joe Rogan]

Kind of.

[Shane Gillis]

I've never been caught.

[Mark Normand]

What is the. How many guys you blown?

[Shane Gillis]

I was a guest in this.

[Joe Rogan]

In that beard right there.

[Mark Normand]

But they did do something where they, like, decriminalized sex work in New York.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Let's find out.

[Shane Gillis]

Jamo sex work. I love when they read in.

[Mark Normand]

They always have. Unhoused.

[Shane Gillis]

It's sex work until one of them is your husband. Then it's a hooker.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly. If you call a girl a horse, she gets mad. Like, which one is it?

[Mark Normand]

Sex worker. Call girl sex. You're a sex worker. Hey, that's a legitimate.

[Jamie Lee]

It's a pretty funny way to do it.

[Mark Normand]

Prostitution is illegal in New York City, but enforcement and politics around sex work are in flux. Active debates about decriminalization and new protections for sex workers and trafficking survivors.

[Joe Rogan]

Anyone else?

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's kind of crazy, isn't it? If you have protection for the survivors. So you're saying that they're victims, but then you're also decriminalizing it. So you're making it okay to do. But you're saying that they're victims.

[Shane Gillis]

And, like, when it's where it is legal, they go, like, no one's going to abuse you because you can go, you don't need a pimp right in public here.

[Jamie Lee]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

So that's. Well, listen, if you can give someone a massage, you should be able to jerk them off, which doesn't make any sense.

[Joe Rogan]

That right

[Mark Normand]

guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Old best.

[Mark Normand]

I met that guy. You can't help think about that when you're shaking his hands, like, sorry they got you, sir. Sorry they got you. Just a normal thing could happen to so many people. 100. They set him up.

[Shane Gillis]

He wasn't even getting laid.

[Joe Rogan]

No, this is handy.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, and he's like, I never got a massage handy.

[Joe Rogan]

Me neither.

[Jamie Lee]

Every single massage I got, I've been

[Mark Normand]

like, you should have responded to those emails.

[Joe Rogan]

There's an app for it now called Tug or something.

[Mark Normand]

Don't ruin it for everybody.

[Joe Rogan]

Get on it.

[Shane Gillis]

Somebody told me how to figure out which one of the hand job places, which one are real. Epstein told me. He goes, huh, you know? Yeah. And he Goes, you know the ones with like locks on the door? He goes, that there's no business, doesn't want you in there if you have to buzz in. They're like, hold on, I'll stop jerking.

[Joe Rogan]

There's a couple point my friend goes on a lunch break. Like it's pretty popular.

[Jamie Lee]

People are totally. When I moved to Philly, every single person was like, yeah, that's normal.

[Joe Rogan]

Totally.

[Mark Normand]

So the girls, gross.

[Joe Rogan]

They're Asian.

[Shane Gillis]

I think it's a range.

[Joe Rogan]

And sometimes you get like a Ukrainian skank.

[Jamie Lee]

Nice fucking sex. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Could you imagine though, skank, you have some respect for yourself or how many

[Mark Normand]

relationships would just completely dissolve? Prostitution was 100 legal, I think.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll tell you, in Thailand it pretty much is. And girls on the first date, you're taking them out. No, not those regular girls. Because if I make you wait, you're just gonna get a hooker.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

So like I better put out.

[Joe Rogan]

I like that competition.

[Mark Normand]

They seem a little looser sexually anyway in Thailand.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, with the whole lady boy thing and.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

They're pretty chill with everything.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they're pretty relaxed except for kicking the out of people. They're really good at that.

[Shane Gillis]

They're really good at that.

[Mark Normand]

They're really. It's weird. Weird. Like a laid back society. So good at people up martial arts.

[Shane Gillis]

You ever look at lady boys using their training like before they turn into full lady boys?

[Joe Rogan]

Pull it up.

[Shane Gillis]

They train kickboxing.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, lady boys do muay Thai too

[Shane Gillis]

when they were younger.

[Mark Normand]

God damn it. There was one famous one and transitioned to a woman, but kept fighting men and started getting up because now she didn't have any hormones anymore and or balls. And so she's just getting the kicked out of her as a girl when she was dominating as a guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Like the one thing that you're really good at other than sucking guys dicks is people up.

[Shane Gillis]

No, you can't do that. No, I meant on the streets. See, that's a guy I'm in on the streets.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Is it?

[Mark Normand]

Yes, that's a guy. All right, that's a guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Lady boy.

[Mark Normand]

That's a guy dressed like a girl.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I'm in on the streets. Like if you pick on one of the streets, they all come after you, but then they use it training.

[Mark Normand]

Oh yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

No, gang up and kick the box the out of you and you're like, I just wanted to beat up a hooker. Why are these half men coming at me? These dainty, dainty men.

[Joe Rogan]

All right, you need a drink.

[Shane Gillis]

I Got one.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, okay. Sorry.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, we're back.

[Joe Rogan]

Comedy baby.

[Mark Normand]

We're back.

[Joe Rogan]

The parks are being saved, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

All over Latin America. Anytime I got recognized, they'd be like. They'd be like, when are we gonna get another projectile park? I'm like, I'm not really in the area right now. As soon as I'm out of Uruguay, I'll let them know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I would get questions from people. It was always that same, when's the next Protect our parks? Anytime I run into someone somewhere globally, too.

[Joe Rogan]

Australia, I got it. New Zealand, I got it. It's all over.

[Shane Gillis]

It is fun, though, when somebody. Like, last week, somebody's like. I was like, April 30th.

[Joe Rogan]

What? Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Keep it quiet.

[Mark Normand]

I did that.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's very fun.

[Mark Normand]

The world needs us.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. It's good to be back.

[Mark Normand]

Goofy ass, fake world out there.

[Joe Rogan]

Can't believe how many we've done cannons.

[Jamie Lee]

Can we got that going for us?

[Mark Normand]

I want. I want to talk to that guy. I want to find out what really happened. Interview. That Indian fell. So apparently they're saying he got fired. Is that what the story is, Jamie? He got fired? Then he just made.

[Shane Gillis]

You can't just make a public post on your. Your boss tried to you anymore.

[Mark Normand]

Not anymore. It all changed.

[Joe Rogan]

I think it was a lawsuit that was filed. I don't. I'm not saying that the lawsuit is fake, like he. But there's real music. It's horseshit is what people are saying.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, does the lady still work there?

[Joe Rogan]

I believe what I read was that JP Morgan investigated, didn't find it credible. And she still works there.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that doesn't seem.

[Jamie Lee]

I wonder how she got that guy,

[Mark Normand]

if that was a guy. I don't.

[Shane Gillis]

We're. Put you on leave while we look this 100. And then, like, Trevor Bauer, like, oh, he found out it's fake. Like, can I get my job back?

[Joe Rogan]

Like, nah, he works for the Long Island Ducks.

[Shane Gillis]

Trevor Bauer is a Cy Young, the highest award for a pitcher phenom. He got some chick pretty much told all the friends, like, I'm gonna go get money out of that guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yep. We got the text message.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. He kind of proved it all, but Dodgers. Was it Dodgers? I don't remember. Was like, hey, Brewers.

[Jamie Lee]

Brewers. No, I don't remember.

[Joe Rogan]

Moved to Japan.

[Shane Gillis]

Moved to Japan. Try to pitch there. And he's like, I'm good. He told mlb. He goes, I'll pitch for free. And I'm a Cy Young winner. And everyone's like, that's crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

300 million.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Now he's playing for the Miners in Long Island.

[Shane Gillis]

He loves playing.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And what happened to her?

[Joe Rogan]

I think she got like a slap on the wrist.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. I think she was like. He was like, don't come after me anymore. Don't come after anybody else anymore.

[Mark Normand]

That's it.

[Joe Rogan]

She did photos with black eyes. She got makeup done. He beat me up. He beat the out of me. It was all made up.

[Shane Gillis]

Crazy story.

[Mark Normand]

Monsters out there.

[Joe Rogan]

Crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

But the crazier thing is, like, if you are the. If it is a Dodger, say it is to not go, hey, dude, we were fooled. I'm sorry. Yeah. Here's your contract back.

[Joe Rogan]

He should sue them for that.

[Mark Normand]

How old is he now, though? He's lost years of his career.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Probably over, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he's still great. He just pitched a no hitter.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, really.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Playing against nine year olds.

[Jamie Lee]

Exciting.

[Mark Normand]

How old is he, Jamie?

[Shane Gillis]

35.

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy because, like, when it all happened with him.

[Shane Gillis]

35. He's 35 now.

[Mark Normand]

It was about. It was about eight or nine years ago, wasn't it?

[Joe Rogan]

20. 20. 21 is when he was suspended five years ago.

[Mark Normand]

Was suspended. So he lost his prime.

[Shane Gillis]

30 to 35.

[Mark Normand]

That's prime.

[Joe Rogan]

Ruined his life. He had just won the Cy Young.

[Shane Gillis]

He's just won it.

[Joe Rogan]

Brutal.

[Shane Gillis]

God.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God. So all she gets is a slap on the wrist.

[Joe Rogan]

Crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

He's pretty much like, go away.

[Joe Rogan]

He violated some part of the settlement and I had to pay him 300 grand. Oh, great.

[Mark Normand]

That'll cover his monthly whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Zen.

[Mark Normand]

Jesus Christ.

[Jamie Lee]

That's a couple zins out of it.

[Shane Gillis]

She only.

[Mark Normand]

She only got fined 300 grand. She cost him 300 million exactly. Oh, my God. That's crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

You. Whatever you accuse someone of, if it's fake, you should get that punishment where

[Shane Gillis]

you're trying to get.

[Mark Normand]

No, I completely agree. Yeah, absolutely. That's never the case, though.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, she can't play for the Dodgers.

[Jamie Lee]

Who is he with? That's the thing that bothered me about this. It was the Dodgers.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. When that happened, it was.

[Shane Gillis]

Big sports fan.

[Joe Rogan]

They're not a bunch of teams, though.

[Jamie Lee]

Why did I think it was the Brewers? Because it was last name.

[Mark Normand]

So if he went to jail for it, that's what she should go to jail for. Because if she's accusing him of sexual assault, he was.

[Shane Gillis]

I think she was just suing him. Suing him. And then public. Public whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Destruction of reputation.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God. That's all awful.

[Joe Rogan]

Poor guy. You should have mom I would. That'd be a great convo at me, son.

[Shane Gillis]

He's also, I think, pretty funny.

[Joe Rogan]

No way.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, bro.

[Mark Normand]

You got to get a sense of humor after that. If you survive that, you survive that. I bet you have a wicked sense of humor.

[Shane Gillis]

Planet Japan, where they all have tiny strike zones.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's one thing I think we could all attest to.

[Joe Rogan]

It's not the only thing.

[Mark Normand]

You survive a cancellation. You come out on the other end just a little bit more funny. Yeah, a little funny, a little more pop. A little more pop to the punchlines.

[Jamie Lee]

He's throwing 102. And

[Shane Gillis]

how many kilometers an hour is that?

[Mark Normand]

Kanye recovers from getting canceled to have the biggest concerts in human history.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So standing on top of the world with clouds.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Bill Cosby must be amazing right now.

[Mark Normand]

He's blind, though. He can't read his notes.

[Joe Rogan]

Ah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, it's tough to read off a teleprompter.

[Mark Normand]

Blind comic, but I don't think he ever read anyway. I think he was all in his memory anyway. But he. I don't even know if he writes, if he. Or if he just, like, sits down and comes up with these stories because he's, like, a story guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he is pretty good. I heard an album. It was like. It really paints a picture, but then you're like. Then you listen like Kinnison, and you're like, oh, this guy Cosby is very slow.

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's a different style. It's like listening to, you know, John Denver versus Metallica. You can't, you know.

[Shane Gillis]

Solid comparison.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You got to be in the mood.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Both Rocky Mountain higher.

[Jamie Lee]

Blasting it last night. It.

[Mark Normand]

Bro. That concert, Moscow.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. It's the best ever.

[Mark Normand]

That is the greatest thing. Yeah. Norman, don't be scared of the loop of.

[Joe Rogan]

Of that. Fine.

[Jamie Lee]

That's fine. It's a yearly reminder.

[Mark Normand]

We're gonna close out with a live free bird from 77.

[Jamie Lee]

You give me a beer.

[Mark Normand]

Here it is. Look at this.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, God, we're doing it again. Why'd you do that?

[Mark Normand]

Imagine how pumped these people are. Communism is dead for a little bit, and then Metallica's on stage.

[Joe Rogan]

It's so sad that rock is dead.

[Mark Normand]

We were talking about.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's all queefy now.

[Mark Normand]

When was the last time? Where's the new rock bands? The new Zeppelin around for a while.

[Shane Gillis]

There's some smaller bands. Right.

[Mark Normand]

But where's the big ones? It used to be Van Halen. It used to be the biggest part of music. Rolling Stones, AC DC Yeah. I Know, I mean, Aerosmith. It used to be the biggest part of music was rock and roll. What the. That's kind of crazy. Nice bodega cat, ladies and gentlemen. Terrible at fine bodegas all across Manhattan.

[Joe Rogan]

You got that right, fatty. Get a bottle. But, yeah, now it's country. Country's huge.

[Shane Gillis]

Country's huge.

[Mark Normand]

Which is fine. But what happened to rock?

[Joe Rogan]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

I love country. I have no problem with country getting huge.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, what happened to rock?

[Mark Normand]

What happened to rock?

[Shane Gillis]

Who are the biggest?

[Joe Rogan]

They said garage bands are coming back with kids, which is kind of means nature is healing. Yeah, that's a good sign.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Kids are tired of playing video games. You want something real. But the. The. The thing about the. That doesn't make sense about rock music is everybody still loves it, right? Everybody still plays covers, making it.

[Joe Rogan]

Oasis is doing giant arenas all over old songs.

[Jamie Lee]

I took acid at that Oasis concert.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Jamie Lee]

Chicago.

[Shane Gillis]

Chicago.

[Jamie Lee]

I got MK Ultra.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

I was just watching the concert.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, oh, how fun. Is it on acid?

[Jamie Lee]

It's the best.

[Joe Rogan]

See, I've done acid since college. I go shroom now.

[Jamie Lee]

Acid, that's responsible.

[Mark Normand]

It'll get away from Grateful Dead's entire career.

[Jamie Lee]

I see how it worked.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, apparently, if you listen to the Dead on acid, it's a totally different.

[Shane Gillis]

They were playing too. Acid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they weren't playing for you to not like it on acid. You're supposed to, like, if you guys are acid. Let me entertain you for a second.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you're supposed to be on acid. It's like those Ayahuasca eco rows. You listen to them, normally they're not that interesting, but tripping on dmt, they're pretty incredible.

[Shane Gillis]

I got some of Roger Water. We were doing a podcast here. Me score and Bert and you. And you're like, what are you doing tomorrow? You want to stay? Roger Waters is playing. I was like, oh, I gotta. This is so funny. It's like, yeah. I was like, I gotta leave. You go, why? Like, yeah, I don't know. But I'm like, but my hotel. I have to check out tomorrow. He goes, extended.

[Mark Normand]

You were my personal guest.

[Shane Gillis]

Roger Water, Change Ari's flight to the next day. And I was like, yeah, all right. But then it was like, I gotta find acid on one day's notice.

[Jamie Lee]

Us.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You gotta shout out Roger Waters. Because he was way ahead of everybody. Calling out the genocide.

[Shane Gillis]

Way ahead of everybody a long time,

[Mark Normand]

a long time ago. Calling out how they're treating the power.

[Shane Gillis]

He really got kicked up.

[Joe Rogan]

He's A little frosty with the heaves, though, is he not?

[Shane Gillis]

He got frosty with me.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, there you go.

[Mark Normand]

He got frosty with you.

[Shane Gillis]

He was living at me.

[Mark Normand]

That was. You were with him. He was on acid and he was with them. After the show, we were all hanging out and Roger was drinking. This is. It was sober October.

[Shane Gillis]

We had a one day permission to do one thing. Come on, guys. I'll give you guys each a drink if you let me do one. One piece of paper.

[Mark Normand]

I chose the devil's cabbage. I was scared of the ass because who knows where it came from? Sure. Like, all right. I got a business to run. I can't go crazy right now.

[Shane Gillis]

I did some. Tony's ex did some. And I remember we were back at the hotel and I was looking at this picture and I was like, damn, this is a crazy video.

[Mark Normand]

Is full on. Weeping in the middle of the concert. Full on. This is amaz.

[Jamie Lee]

Hold on.

[Joe Rogan]

He came up and sat next to me and I'm like, what's wrong with Ari freaking out? I'm like, dude, are you really.

[Shane Gillis]

I was not okay.

[Mark Normand]

He didn't even know what the dose was. He just took whatever the guy gave him.

[Shane Gillis]

It was fresh to. I had to let it dry in the AC of the car over there and hold it by the vent and let it dry some. It was like blotter paper blotted. Yeah, it was so good.

[Joe Rogan]

See, that's the thing with that. You don't know when it's going to end.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know where it came from.

[Jamie Lee]

Also, you don't really know when it's going to start. I took a little. I took a little and I was like, this shit's not working. Give me another one.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Jamie Lee]

That old move was stared at a painting in my hotel room for 12 hours.

[Mark Normand]

Ruin their entire life by doing that with edibles. Yeah, Gotten that second one. I don't feel. They take that second one and then they can't escape.

[Shane Gillis]

This is how those stories start. Every time you're like, maybe I'll take the other half.

[Mark Normand]

And they roll right into schizophrenia land. Hey, in my early be your mom's not real.

[Joe Rogan]

Your mom, early years of comedy, I pitched a show and. And Lionsgate picked it up and I flew out. They flew me out to LA to pitch the show to netfl Netflix and Amazon. It was the biggest deal of my life. And the night before, I did Tripoli show and he gives you a bag of weed stuff, you know, And I was like, I can't do weed. I'm a wuss. I'm a lightweight. He goes, we'll take some cbd. And I go, okay, I'll do that. I want to get some sleep. So I chugged a bottle of cbd and it was thc. Oh, I woke up. The bed was vertical. I was hanging on to the post. It felt like the carpet was sinking with me. I was molding. I had to. I skipped it. I couldn't go. It was too high. I was high for like 14 hours.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

My manager's like shaking me like, you got to go. And I'm like, I can't do it. I can't face it.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, le.

[Mark Normand]

So funny. You should have went, oh, God.

[Joe Rogan]

I would have so shoved my hand

[Mark Normand]

up your ass and operated you like a puppet. I would have made you go.

[Joe Rogan]

I would have sold, like, Duncan Trussell's show if I. If I showed up. But I couldn't face him and I. He would like, I think they dropped me after Dunc.

[Mark Normand]

Duncan is the absolute best at saying, like, like around, like he. He was going, hold on. I just got a text from my wife's boyfriend. How's he doing? Not good. Turns out he's got syphilis. Poor guy. I hope he gets better. Just casual. This episode is brought to you by Simply Safe. Yes, break ins still happen, usually when the thieves think no one's looking. That's why home security is so important. It's like having an extra pair of eyes to help protect your home. Simply Safe is especially great, and not just because they've been longtime partner of the show. Their agents have your back 24, 7 plus. Getting SimpliSafe Home Security system is a breeze. There's no long term contracts or cancellation fees. Setup is easy, and it might not be as expensive as you think. They have monitoring plans that start at around a dollar a day. Over 4 million Americans already trust and use SimpliSafe. Try it for yourself. I think it's good to be as prepared as you can be. Get 50 off your new Simply Safe system with professional monitoring and your first month [e-mail] Rogan that's simplisafe.com Rogan there's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Jamie Lee]

There's nothing worse than getting that high, though. Like McCusker. McCusker used to make weed gummies when we lived together. He'd make homemade.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Jamie Lee]

He would like, try to make gummies. It was crazy. And then I'd just be sitting there playing Xbox and he'd be like, Here, take some of these, please. I'll just try them out. But one time he left. I did a show to casino outside of Philly. He gave me a bag of gummy bears. Obviously, I got hammered. And I was just in my hotel room just. I just ate as many as I could.

[Mark Normand]

You know that they were pot gummy bears.

[Jamie Lee]

I just think I did.

[Shane Gillis]

I was hammered. I was like, no, no, they're so good.

[Jamie Lee]

I just killed that hotel lobby. That was great. And then I woke up, and it was in a casino with no. My room had no windows. It was in the basement.

[Shane Gillis]

Basement.

[Jamie Lee]

And I didn't know my buddy was also. I was like, you sleep in my room? He was on the floor. He was this kid that opened for me in the morning. I woke up and I was still high as. And I was just like, in the darkness, I hear somebody like, Shane.

[Mark Normand]

I was like,

[Joe Rogan]

waking up.

[Shane Gillis]

Wake up high, son.

[Mark Normand]

You remember the days where Joey Diaz would have people in the church of what's happening now? And he would swap out the 25mg animals for 250s.

[Shane Gillis]

He did it to me. It's like a package like this, whatever. And I see it, it says 25. I'm like, you know what? I'm a 10 guy. But when I'm with duos, I'll go 25. And then I ate it. But then something nags in your head. You're like, why was it 20? It was like, why was it open? I was a tilted a little right? And then I was just like. Kept talking and I was like, picked it off. And you just see 250. Oh, Joey killed me.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Lee say at five hundreds, he would give him 2 500.

[Shane Gillis]

We just got Lee again on four. We did a 420 episode and Lee

[Joe Rogan]

was like, oh, yeah, Back to that Indy 500.

[Jamie Lee]

500 milligra.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy, dude.

[Jamie Lee]

It blows.

[Mark Normand]

You know what's crazy? Jmo? Jamie can do a thousand and barely hits him.

[Joe Rogan]

Shut up.

[Shane Gillis]

Is that true? You have no body fat?

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no. He's got some weird enzyme.

[Shane Gillis]

You gotta go with a slice of pizza or something.

[Joe Rogan]

Doesn't work on everything, man.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Okay. Fair.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it just doesn't work with his spectrumy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Anything more than some people.

[Mark Normand]

His super brain just shuts it off. Like, nope, not interested.

[Shane Gillis]

Bye.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Jamie Lee]

Mine does not. Dude, if I take 10 milligrams, I'm

[Shane Gillis]

like, oh, yeah, same. Well, the UFCs are always great. We take like 50 and just like. Like six hours.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you guys took acid at the UFC.

[Shane Gillis]

We were up in the bat seats. We took acid and me, Red Band and Diaz, and then Rogan. It was kind of early on, and Rogan's like, where are you guys? We're like, we're up there. And he's like, seeing us, like, are you guys flying? We're like, we're. Dude. He's like, where? He goes.

[Mark Normand]

Half. Half of my day was thinking about them being on acid, watching these crazy fights. So it made me jealous.

[Shane Gillis]

It felt like Forest Griffin came in and everyone's cheering. I'm like, why are you cheering?

[Mark Normand]

You might get hurt.

[Joe Rogan]

Hurt?

[Mark Normand]

This is like 2005, then.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Imagine seeing Brock Lesnar on acid, terrified, bro. He's a warrior, that guy, bro. Like a Viking.

[Mark Normand]

You ever see his daughter? His daughter's a champion shot putter.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Jamie Lee]

What? No. What do you say?

[Mark Normand]

She's a athlete.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Shot put.

[Mark Normand]

She throws that iron.

[Jamie Lee]

What do you think he does?

[Mark Normand]

Shooting a gun, bro.

[Jamie Lee]

She's shooting.

[Mark Normand]

You gotta see her.

[Shane Gillis]

Definitely related.

[Mark Normand]

Watch her.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

100.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at Hogan.

[Mark Normand]

But watch the video. So go to get to Jesus. See if you can find a video mark.

[Joe Rogan]

She's a beautiful, sturdy lady.

[Jamie Lee]

Mark's talking.

[Shane Gillis]

I agree with Shane. I have nothing but respect for you and your family.

[Jamie Lee]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Look at this. Whoa.

[Joe Rogan]

Pale honky.

[Mark Normand]

Bro, that's crazy. Imagine blowing your shoulder out trying to throw that thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Imagine her grabbing your balls.

[Shane Gillis]

Take it over the line. Don't go over the line.

[Mark Normand]

Make a warrior with those jeans.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Buffalo.

[Joe Rogan]

What's the mom look like, huh?

[Mark Normand]

She's hot.

[Shane Gillis]

She's just a.

[Mark Normand]

She's a. She's a pro wrestler.

[Jamie Lee]

She's a Transformer.

[Joe Rogan]

She's a bulldozer.

[Shane Gillis]

She's Optimus Prime.

[Joe Rogan]

Get the mama.

[Mark Normand]

The mom is hot.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It got all. She got all Brock's jeans. That's the mom

[Jamie Lee]

from wwf.

[Mark Normand]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

That's the wife.

[Jamie Lee]

Sable was so hot.

[Mark Normand]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Jamie Lee]

The puppy movies.

[Mark Normand]

But, bro, look at his jeans. Those jeans dominate.

[Joe Rogan]

Nice cannons.

[Mark Normand]

Those are Viking jeans. That's what Iceland looks the way it is. Viking jeans.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, is that them now? Yeah. Oh, hell, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

She's 10 years older than him.

[Jamie Lee]

She looks table.

[Joe Rogan]

She looks great. She's got a bit of a bulge, though, on the right.

[Mark Normand]

That's her hands.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, God. You never know.

[Shane Gillis]

Really risking it with I love you, Brock.

[Joe Rogan]

And roll.

[Mark Normand]

He's writing your name down with crayons right now.

[Joe Rogan]

He's got that sword tattoo right here. Just a real Warrior.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He said he got drunk and didn't remember it and woke up was like, what the did I do?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, right. You just regret it. That's a lame tattoo. You just regret it.

[Mark Normand]

Sure. For sure. Well, Steve O's got a dick on his forehead.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but is that right for fun?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He catch tattoos on an atv.

[Mark Normand]

He was on the podcast, and it was like, first couple of minutes, and I was like, do you have a dick tattooed above your eyebrows?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I've done his pot. I didn't notice that.

[Shane Gillis]

Good impression.

[Jamie Lee]

Must. It must be new. I missed it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's pretty new. He was on. He was on a few months ago.

[Joe Rogan]

J.

[Shane Gillis]

Not even new Jackass coming next month.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, look.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, wow, man.

[Shane Gillis]

What a lunatic.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I wouldn't rec.

[Shane Gillis]

Malone tattooed him. Post trained tattoo artist.

[Mark Normand]

That's. Well, I don't think he has to be trained.

[Joe Rogan]

Dick's got a quite a curve.

[Mark Normand]

Are there rules he might.

[Shane Gillis]

He might actually know?

[Mark Normand]

Are there any rules as to, like, who can do a tattoo?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't think so.

[Mark Normand]

Any or whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

And, like, have a business.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but you could just do it, though. Do one to your friend.

[Shane Gillis]

That's not fear. You can just do it with pen.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting, huh? Interesting.

[Joe Rogan]

Steve O's a good egg.

[Mark Normand]

He's a fun dude.

[Shane Gillis]

Steve O rules.

[Mark Normand]

He's a fun dude.

[Jamie Lee]

Jackass rules.

[Shane Gillis]

New jackets. I was so excited when I heard it.

[Joe Rogan]

Was I. Oh, they're doing another one June.

[Mark Normand]

He played a bunch of the scenes where in Knoxville did too them all getting concussions. And I was like, how? I asked Nazville how many times you've been out? He's like, at least 16.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

16 times out.

[Shane Gillis]

It's funny when one of them gets, like, Reddit rap for not going hard enough, like Knoxville did once, and he goes, fine, I'll step up and I'll literally blow a ball off. And then, like. And, like, Danger had one where he's like, I'll be the one this time.

[Jamie Lee]

Knoxville always went so hard.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it was.

[Shane Gillis]

It was bad. It was bad feedback. But they were like, you're protecting your face too much. He was like, all right, I'll show you. I asked. I asked Wee Man. I was like, who got PTSD this time? He was like, and England. England's forever now.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What? Why? Because they put him in horrible situations. I don't know. I'm waiting to find out.

[Mark Normand]

What? Jamie.

[Joe Rogan]

I took my. This one because the last one. They got him.

[Shane Gillis]

No, they got Danger Aaron last time. Bad with a bear. And where you could tell, he's like, this is never gonna leave.

[Jamie Lee]

And the donkey in the one. That was terrifying. Yeah. He just walked up behind when the goal was to get him bucked. Nuts. He's just behind him, like, shaking, and they're all making fun of him.

[Mark Normand]

And the donkey kicked him.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. Got him right?

[Mark Normand]

My God.

[Joe Rogan]

Dude. They had to get into a room. He obviously knew something was happening.

[Shane Gillis]

He knew something's up. He just. He just can't be.

[Joe Rogan]

He looks great.

[Shane Gillis]

He does look pretty good.

[Joe Rogan]

Nice skin.

[Jamie Lee]

He's old handsome devil.

[Joe Rogan]

He's a handsome guy.

[Mark Normand]

So he's in the room strapped to

[Shane Gillis]

a table, doing, like, electric chair, shocking him. He's like, come on, stop. It's annoying, but I get it.

[Mark Normand]

And then what happens?

[Shane Gillis]

They cover him in honey.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Mark Normand]

Always.

[Joe Rogan]

And he's like, is that meat?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What are you doing? The honey's in my eye.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh. Oh, God, I love those.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, that. Something's opening. Oh, my.

[Joe Rogan]

He's got a chain on the bear.

[Shane Gillis]

Keep watching it.

[Mark Normand]

The chain is probably just so they could pull them off.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Stay calm.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, he's gonna lick him. The chain's not attached to anything.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a good point. Ch's free. Talk to it, Aaron. Try to calm it down.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, this is wild.

[Shane Gillis]

This is crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

Are you really allergic to bees, Aaron? Oh, he's trembling.

[Mark Normand]

And then they shock him.

[Jamie Lee]

Still shocking.

[Joe Rogan]

Know, I didn't even get the answer.

[Mark Normand]

No, no. All right.

[Joe Rogan]

We can't really watch. Oh, is that, like, salmon?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, this is crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

He's so frightened.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, he's got the paw. There's nothing more in there.

[Shane Gillis]

There is, though. There's nothing more in there.

[Joe Rogan]

That's not so bad.

[Mark Normand]

What if he just came nice? You see his pants get wet.

[Joe Rogan]

They with him real bad, though.

[Shane Gillis]

This was get him out. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So it's a trained bear sort of, though.

[Shane Gillis]

But it's a bear.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

You know what's nice is Bam. They let Bam back in the group.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, good.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, really?

[Joe Rogan]

He's in the next one.

[Shane Gillis]

He's, like, skating again.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah. It's.

[Jamie Lee]

It's Westchester getting there.

[Mark Normand]

So what happened to him? He just went off the rails. Drugs, Pills. Pills rules.

[Shane Gillis]

Philly stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Now he's back.

[Joe Rogan]

He's back.

[Mark Normand]

Come back.

[Jamie Lee]

Let's go. Bam rules.

[Shane Gillis]

There's a video. There's a video I saw, and it was, like, asking all the jackass people who can skate. People like, oh, we man's pretty good. And then someone's like, no danger. Aaron's pretty good. And then just starts the chiron just going, it's Bam.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

John Knox was like, I can go to Ollie. Like, it's Bam.

[Joe Rogan]

Bam was good.

[Jamie Lee]

I met him a bunch when I was going to college.

[Joe Rogan]

Really? Really?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. I went to college in Westchester where they all were. So, like.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

You'd see him around town. He was just the nicest. Yeah, he was always just the man.

[Shane Gillis]

He owned that town, huh?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Purple Lambo. You'd see it. It'd be at the Wawa. You'd be like, holy. Bam's here. Holy, holy.

[Joe Rogan]

With his eyeliner.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. I drove by Castle. Bam. This, you know, the house there's right where I lived when we were filming tires. I lived right next to it, and I would occasionally just drive over and look at it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Every kid's dreams. Skateboard in the back.

[Shane Gillis]

Some trick that was off a bridge onto a moving bus and then off the bus.

[Jamie Lee]

You think of the video game.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, I love the game.

[Shane Gillis]

Maybe. But no, this was real.

[Joe Rogan]

Bam's dad got pretty hard, though.

[Mark Normand]

What happened?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they punch him in the face, Phil.

[Shane Gillis]

He would just wake him up and just start punching him in the face.

[Jamie Lee]

It was great.

[Joe Rogan]

Sweetest man on the planet.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm sleeping.

[Mark Normand]

Cky crazy that those guys did that for so long.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That seemed like a thing you could only do, like, once.

[Joe Rogan]

Hell, they're still going.

[Jamie Lee]

The first places I ever did stand up and hosted my own show was his bar in Westchester.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Jamie Lee]

The note.

[Mark Normand]

Like, how old do they. Like, how old is steo?

[Joe Rogan]

He's got to be 50.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. 50. Here, look with a yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What are you going to do to him?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh. The dad finally gets his revenge. He.

[Shane Gillis]

He hiding behind the door.

[Joe Rogan]

I thought he was going to beat him up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

That's all right.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Jackass rules.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Hell yeah is the best. It's the best. Com comedies.

[Mark Normand]

Just crazy that those guys made a career doing that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Became famous. Just each other up.

[Jamie Lee]

We all copied them. Me and my friends were outside.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Filming us jumping into trees off the roof.

[Joe Rogan]

And totally.

[Jamie Lee]

It was. We all were like, this is the coolest thing ever.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. They all had to be. They were the first one to be like, don't do this. Anyway, that's the legal part.

[Jamie Lee]

Now watch.

[Joe Rogan]

Do it.

[Jamie Lee]

This shit's fun.

[Shane Gillis]

We're having a blast, though. You should try it, but don't do it legally.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

How is the new Fear Factor? I know Knoxville. Yeah. He came on to promote it.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He was Hosting the new Fear Factor.

[Jamie Lee]

It's very nice. I love Jackass so much.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, me too.

[Mark Normand]

He's a good dude. Johnny Knoxville's a really nice guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Coolest.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Although his dick is broken. That sucks.

[Mark Normand]

I think it's fixed.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, great. I think they fix it.

[Jamie Lee]

Fix that nowadays.

[Mark Normand]

Stem cells.

[Jamie Lee]

Everyone's getting them.

[Shane Gillis]

I got them.

[Jamie Lee]

So everyone's getting dicks these days.

[Joe Rogan]

Wait, you got stem.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Whoa.

[Joe Rogan]

What does that mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Ways to. I don't know. It's been one day. I don't know.

[Joe Rogan]

How do you feel?

[Shane Gillis]

Feel fine.

[Mark Normand]

Do you see that thing that I sent you today?

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Mark Normand]

I sent you an article. This. Where this video. This lady is saying that the. The one operation that has the least amount of success and is the most unnecessary is meniscus operations. I had one too.

[Shane Gillis]

I couldn't walk, though. What do you mean? I had to do it.

[Mark Normand]

They said rehabilitation is better. Like keeping the tissue in there and rehabbing it is better than having it removed. Removed.

[Shane Gillis]

Interesting.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Joe Rogan]

I had.

[Mark Normand]

I had mine removed on my left leg.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But it does with me more than my right leg.

[Shane Gillis]

And what'd you have in the right leg?

[Jamie Lee]

Just.

[Mark Normand]

I have a tear. A meniscus tear, But I Did you just left? Yeah, I tore it doing a kicking contest with Joe Schilling.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

With jeans on.

[Shane Gillis]

You're a jackass.

[Mark Normand]

We were. He just wanted to see who could kick harder. Like, he heard I kick really hard. He's a world champion kickboxer, so he wanted to kick this thing and he wanted me to kick, and I did it with jeans on.

[Shane Gillis]

What, you do a bag of the arcade?

[Mark Normand]

We have this machine in the back test. You hit it and it shows you

[Jamie Lee]

meniscus on that because you.

[Mark Normand]

I will rock that with no warm up at all. At 52 years old. Just slammed it.

[Shane Gillis]

Joe Shelley came in three hours early and stretching.

[Mark Normand]

No, he didn't. He did no warm up either.

[Joe Rogan]

That would be a great jackass. Joe Rogan kicks you?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He had Butterbean punch him. It's the hardest thing to watch, dude, because he was already rocked and up. And then Butterbean put him out. Out.

[Joe Rogan]

And they're in like a target or something.

[Shane Gillis]

They have the cra. The extra level, though, is it's not just somebody. It's Butterbean punching you, or it's not just taking a slap shot. It's somebody from the Predators slapshotting it at your face.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's right. He had Francis Andano punch him in the balls.

[Shane Gillis]

The cup test.

[Joe Rogan]

They just kept telling him, like, like a fighter's going to come today. And they didn't tell him. It's Francis and Gon.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, there he is. Right? This is. This is mean. I mean, this is too far. I can't watch this.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you can watch it.

[Joe Rogan]

All right, let's watch it.

[Mark Normand]

Watch this. And Francis doesn't even hold back. Oh.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, that's gonna ruin your junk.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, dude, that kind of pain is crazy. That's a terrible cup. That's a shitty cup.

[Shane Gillis]

No one should ever doubt danger ever again.

[Mark Normand]

Watch this one more time.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

He put all of his 265 pounds.

[Shane Gillis]

The realization on his face when he like, it's worse than I thought it was going to be. And it's real, bro.

[Mark Normand]

It's like getting hit by a car right on your dick.

[Joe Rogan]

That's brutal, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Look at the eyes change.

[Mark Normand]

And the thing about those shitty cups is sometimes those shitty cups hit your nut like the cup actually. Your balls are kind of like poking out the side a little bit and the cup slams in here.

[Shane Gillis]

It's also. It's not. They just got this at Target on the way to this.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, right?

[Shane Gillis]

It was fitted. They were just like.

[Mark Normand]

Just give me one real solid cup with a compression shorts.

[Joe Rogan]

See, Gen Z or Gen Alpha will never have a jackass.

[Mark Normand]

You don't think so?

[Joe Rogan]

No, I think those are mean.

[Mark Normand]

But what about these streamers that keep getting beat up?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, they're capable.

[Joe Rogan]

Is that. Is that a thing?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, these streamers, like picking fights of people and getting.

[Joe Rogan]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of streamers that are getting that beaten out of them.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

In a good way.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I mean, they're getting. They're provoking people and occasionally they provoke the wrong person.

[Shane Gillis]

They fight. Club it until somebody picks a fight back with them.

[Mark Normand]

There's this one with Tiki. Tiki fought for the ufc. He's like a top level trainer, manages fighters. And this streamer kid is in his face telling them he's gonna him up. And Tiki's like, oh, really? And he's like, yeah, I'll you up for sure. And then he like moves too close to him and Tiki just cracks him.

[Jamie Lee]

Is that the elbow?

[Mark Normand]

No, I think he punched him. I don't know if he elbowed him or punch. It's so hard to tell because it happened so fast, but it's like the dude's in his. And this is a dude, this guy. Watch this and he's got a drink in his hand. Yeah. Is it an elbow? Slow that down a little bit.

[Joe Rogan]

That was right on the jaw. Let's.

[Mark Normand]

It either is a punch or an elbow. It's hard to say because it happens so fast. Yeah, it's an elbow drink.

[Shane Gillis]

What he say to him?

[Mark Normand]

Nice elbow.

[Joe Rogan]

Sure. That was an elbow.

[Mark Normand]

He said he was gonna him up. He said he was gonna slap him. I'll slap the out of you. Something like that.

[Joe Rogan]

No, but is that just. Cause yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I thought he's the wrong guy to with.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Like, Tiki's really good.

[Joe Rogan]

Tiki masala.

[Jamie Lee]

He's big. I wouldn't even if he didn't do ufc, I walk up to him, be like, what are you gonna do exactly?

[Shane Gillis]

Crazy.

[Jamie Lee]

Holding whiskey.

[Mark Normand]

Like.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that's probably why he didn't calm until the second. But he dropped it. He let it go.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, really?

[Shane Gillis]

And elbows.

[Mark Normand]

Nice technique.

[Joe Rogan]

That j.

[Jamie Lee]

That was a hook.

[Mark Normand]

The kids like really well, the elbow's just as powerful, dude. That's especially coming out of Tiki. So let's see what he says to him. He said a bunch of to him.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

I said straight up. Are you the guy that got slapped on video? I did, but I'll slap the out.

[Jamie Lee]

You know, I'm going to show you

[Joe Rogan]

the inside of the. The house. Make you another clip.

[Mark Normand]

Don't do that.

[Joe Rogan]

Seriously. I do that. Oh,

[Mark Normand]

but these. Some of these streamers, man, they make their whole career out of doing stuff like that.

[Shane Gillis]

He got up.

[Jamie Lee]

Who's that guy?

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. He got up.

[Mark Normand]

It's hard to say what's going on.

[Joe Rogan]

Or is that the bouncer?

[Mark Normand]

It's hard to say what's happening.

[Shane Gillis]

It is hard to say it's not him that got up. It's some other. It's a girl or something.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I think he probably got up too, because I see the black jacket.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But it seems like he ran in. That's him. Run. Run in there after him and threw a couple punches at him.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, the fact that he took that is pretty impressive.

[Shane Gillis]

Done.

[Joe Rogan]

I would have gone night night.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but you wouldn't have.

[Jamie Lee]

You wouldn't have been there. I wouldn't have been going, I'll knock you out.

[Mark Normand]

You would never done that in the first place. The whole thing's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

I be like, hey, he was talking more on the way up.

[Mark Normand]

But there's so many of these guys that are picking fights. They're just doing anything they can to get attention to go viral.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Jamie Lee]

It's like a nightmare walking down the street and someone's like, what's up, boy? Well, I'm going to look like a. I'm not going to.

[Shane Gillis]

I hate those. It's some guy with his girlfriend at like, like Target and they just start mocking him and mocking the girl in front of forcing his hand. And it's like, dude, I'm just trying to shop.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't want to fight you. Who are you?

[Mark Normand]

That's how people get shot.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You do it in the wrong place. It's terrible. But it's just these kids today, like, there's so many of them that are just trying to get famous. Like, the number one thing the kids want today is to get famous. You know, they used to like do a list. What do you want to do when you grow up? What are your goals? Holes. Like a giant percentage of them are get famous.

[Joe Rogan]

That's true. What's up with that clavicular homo? You know what I'm talking about?

[Mark Normand]

I think he's the opposite of a hobo. I think his whole thing is looks maxing to get chicks.

[Joe Rogan]

That sounds gay to me.

[Shane Gillis]

What is looks maxing?

[Mark Normand]

Well, one of the things he does, apparently he hits his face with a hammer to put micro. Micro breaks on his face to make his job.

[Shane Gillis]

That's just trans. You're just man to man trans.

[Joe Rogan]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man to man.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. You've just altered your looks to make yourself more of a gender.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes, interesting. Gender affirming.

[Mark Normand]

Is that trans for girls?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Shane Gillis]

Absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

I like it.

[Jamie Lee]

No, don't take fake tits.

[Shane Gillis]

Leave fake tits. But you can't make us. You can't be. It's gender affirming. If you're like, men look this way, then you're like, all right, so there a sep. It's like you can be something you're not.

[Joe Rogan]

He gets laid, though, I'm sure.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I'm sure he does. A handsome fellow.

[Joe Rogan]

He's very handsome. But he's like.

[Mark Normand]

Apparently he does mental meth. Yeah, he talks about it because, like, he finds it better than Adderall for controlling his appetite.

[Joe Rogan]

That'll do it.

[Mark Normand]

Like this is the thing. Like they want to be lean. The wheels are going to as possible.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Can't do meth, but entertaining.

[Shane Gillis]

How about just self will?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't overdose. The other day on Stream Easy.

[Mark Normand]

What do you overdose on?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't.

[Shane Gillis]

Which one is he?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't.

[Shane Gillis]

That guy.

[Joe Rogan]

That's him. Yeah. He is handsome.

[Shane Gillis]

He's pretty handsome.

[Mark Normand]

So what did he just fall apart?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, they took it off the camera, but yeah, he's just, like, falling down a K h. He's about to be there.

[Shane Gillis]

You know what?

[Jamie Lee]

I actually saw this and he was. What was cool about was how nice

[Mark Normand]

he was to everybody.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh.

[Jamie Lee]

Like, even while he's, like, overdosing. Overdosing. He's like, people are coming up. Can I get a picture? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

He looks like he's having a.

[Joe Rogan]

Definitely Molly.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it could be Molly. That may be why he's so nice to everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

That's not a cat hole. I've been in one of those. You don't smile.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, really?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, but is that overdosing or is he just on it?

[Joe Rogan]

That's why it's. The clips are going around saying overdosing.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not overdosing.

[Jamie Lee]

Jester maxing is so funny.

[Joe Rogan]

These terms. Look at a boy band.

[Mark Normand]

Everything is toxic and dangerous. Look at that streamer. Looks max in culture is culture.

[Joe Rogan]

What is gooning?

[Mark Normand]

Culture.

[Jamie Lee]

What is gooning?

[Joe Rogan]

Gooning is a thing.

[Shane Gillis]

We've had this argument.

[Joe Rogan]

What's gooning?

[Shane Gillis]

It's masturbating to just really obsessing over anything.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay. Yeah. So like a stalker is gooning.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, could be.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't know if you're getting that Ridge double goon.

[Shane Gillis]

It just means, like, you're obsessed over something which is like. Like masturbation all the time. And that. That has become, like, obsession. But I think it stayed with masturbation.

[Jamie Lee]

It's definitely just masturbating. It's. It's all. It's basically just being as horny as you can be. And it's very funny.

[Joe Rogan]

All right.

[Shane Gillis]

It is.

[Joe Rogan]

I've go quite a bit in my day.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

You're a gooner.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm a gooner, yeah. All right.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Can I get one of them beers?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, it's beer time.

[Shane Gillis]

I feel like one of those Joe Rogan's back.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Eight months off the sauce. Moderation.

[Joe Rogan]

He went on.

[Shane Gillis]

He went on.

[Jamie Lee]

Moderation is the key.

[Shane Gillis]

He went on a drink, a drinking withdrawal until Trump said he could do mushrooms as well. And he goes, okay, fine, I'll drink.

[Joe Rogan]

What was that like beating the oval off?

[Mark Normand]

Pretty strange. The whole thing was strange. How about sending him a text message explaining everything to him and him saying, let's do it. Wow, dude, let's do it. And then the next day keeps saying,

[Jamie Lee]

yeah, let's do it. He's getting text from bb. He goes, yeah, it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It always works out for me. Shut down the street.

[Jamie Lee]

Who gives a?

[Mark Normand]

He showed up at the UFC event. He shakes my hand, he goes, it's done.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

And then a week later, we were in the White House with all the vets. All those vets that had taken ibogaine and saved their life.

[Shane Gillis]

You should have had. Okay, it's missed opportunity. You should had all those vets and then a couple like dreadlocked white guys who are also. Like, this is going to help me a lot too.

[Mark Normand]

This is going to rule. I should add Duncan.

[Jamie Lee]

I should have Duncan.

[Mark Normand]

Duncan dressed like a shaman.

[Shane Gillis]

Everyone's going to benefit from this.

[Mark Normand]

With what hat on, like you're wearing.

[Jamie Lee]

You should have wore that hat with a suit behind the present.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I had a suit jacket and everything. I was prepared, but it was in the other room. But he goes, come on. In the over office. He said he brought me in the Oval Office early.

[Jamie Lee]

You were not wearing a suit? I didn't see.

[Mark Normand]

I had a jacket, a suit. I didn't have a. I was gonna wear a tie, but I hate ties. I said, let me just dress like I dress at the ufc. I wear my ufc.

[Jamie Lee]

You were like Zelensky in a tracksuit.

[Mark Normand]

No, I had a nice button up shirt, nice pair of pants, nice dress shoes. Yeah, I was respectable, but I just wasn't wearing a tie and. But I did have a suit jacket, but it was in the other room. But he dragged me into the Oval Office. Come over here. Look at this. It looks so beautiful now. Now he's like showing me all the new gold work. The Oval Office has like gold everywhere now. It's like all gold leaf everywhere. It's pretty impressive. Him? Oh, yeah, he loves gold.

[Jamie Lee]

Definitely not the Persians.

[Joe Rogan]

Ben Laden loved gold.

[Mark Normand]

He loves it.

[Joe Rogan]

He.

[Mark Normand]

He like loves doing up the Oval Office.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane and I took a tour.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Wait, what?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we took a tour of the White House.

[Mark Normand]

When?

[Shane Gillis]

Two years ago? No, no, a year.

[Jamie Lee]

A year.

[Shane Gillis]

Biden, D.C. no, no, Trump years. He wasn't there. So we got in, but they're like, you can't go into the Oval Office. And we're like craning our head in with like our feet. Just like hold my hand. Saw the big Gulf of America.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, this is back. Yeah. He had literally just had a map next to his desk that says Gulf of America.

[Shane Gillis]

You're like, it's a map of water.

[Jamie Lee]

Especially because you're like walking through and you're like, damn, Lincoln's.

[Shane Gillis]

There's a lot of cool things.

[Jamie Lee]

And then you see Gulf of America next to the desk.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, what is that really gross bill that they just passed though? What is that? FISA bill that they just passed?

[Jamie Lee]

Jamie?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Something just happened where everyone. People are freaking the out bill. Something. It has something to do with them being able to look into all your private communications without a warrant.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, I don't like that.

[Shane Gillis]

Is there a new one? Simone told me that every new car is going to have AI testing to see if they're drunk or not. And then they also won't abuse it.

[Joe Rogan]

Bad news.

[Mark Normand]

Look at you while you're driving to make sure that you're not hammered. Get video of you. No more smoking joints.

[Jamie Lee]

Drive.

[Mark Normand]

Get an old car.

[Joe Rogan]

That's what I got.

[Mark Normand]

Get an old Mustang.

[Shane Gillis]

Is that a real thing?

[Joe Rogan]

Senate's likely to reject the House pass. Good.

[Mark Normand]

Thank God. We should force them to reject it. Jesus Christ. This is crazy. Three year extension of section 702 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance act allows federal government to collect communications of non citizens outside the U.S. though it's often includes communications with American citizens. But then if they suspect you of it, like with Tucker. Tucker. Tucker was communicating with Putin's people to do an interview through signal. So they took his encoded. So it's all drug app encrypted. They took his encrypted signal and they decrypted it. Someone who knows the stuff explained it to me, said it cost about $600,000 to do that. They said they can decrypt encrypted messages, they just have to get the data. So somehow another. They got the data off of his phone. Phone. They unencrypted it. And then they contacted him, said, we know that you're meeting with Putin. He's like, how the do you know? They're like, we read your signal. And he's like, what? Like.

[Shane Gillis]

But he's like, yeah, I mean, I am meeting with him doing interview. I'm a journalist.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, that was his position, but it was also his position that he's using an encrypted app. Like they. Unless they're suspecting him of a crime, they shouldn't be able to look at his encrypted messages. So, like this idea that, you know, you're sending things on signal and no one could read them. I think that's. I think it's more difficult to read Freedom.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, the local cops are not going to do it if you're just buying Molly. Right? That's not worth 600 grand.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Shane Gillis]

Right, exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Hegseth get leaked too, on signal. Remember that? Like a Year ago.

[Mark Normand]

I think that was because those people accidentally included a journalist. So it was like a giant group of like 10 people or something like that. And one of them was a journalist, these knuckleheads. And the journalists just released all the text mess. So they were sending emojis after we bombed. You were on.

[Joe Rogan]

Here's a fun story today.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, that guy.

[Mark Normand]

Suicide note purportedly written by Jeffrey Epstein weeks before his death in jail has been kept secret for years, locked up in a courthouse. That means investigators scrutinizing his death lacked what could have been a key piece of evidence.

[Joe Rogan]

In the last hour, they're saying there's a note.

[Shane Gillis]

They found that there's a brand new

[Joe Rogan]

note for all of a sudden exists. No one says they haven't shown it or said what it says. They're just. Everyone's not reporting.

[Mark Normand]

Well, how about the autopsy that says that his prostate was unremarkable, but meanwhile he had his prostate removed.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, boy.

[Mark Normand]

There's a lot of people that don't even believe he died.

[Shane Gillis]

I think he's alive. I think they just faced off them and he's living a good life somewhere.

[Joe Rogan]

You just think changed him.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I think that all the people that all go to that stuff, like, don't worry if we kill you, then we're all worried about ourselves. We're just going to relocate you.

[Joe Rogan]

Israel.

[Shane Gillis]

Israel.

[Joe Rogan]

Maybe that's what I heard from Metzger.

[Shane Gillis]

For Metsker, it wouldn't be Israel. He'd lived somewhere like, why wouldn't he live in Israel?

[Mark Normand]

That's a place where he's most protected.

[Shane Gillis]

Be like Cambodia.

[Mark Normand]

No, they'll kill him in Cambodia. You got to live in Israel.

[Shane Gillis]

No, there's parents in Israel.

[Mark Normand]

Of who?

[Shane Gillis]

People.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but you know, that's like the number one place where like sex offenders go from America that are Jewish that are in trouble. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Anybody in?

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know that. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

They take anybody in?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, especially Jewish people. They'll just take you.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Jewsville had a run. He had Madoff, Weinstein.

[Shane Gillis]

Thank you. Hell yeah. Thank you.

[Joe Rogan]

The other guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Nice.

[Jamie Lee]

Hell of a run, you guys.

[Shane Gillis]

Cosby, Berg.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Kind of proves Kanye's point a little bit.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't love the. The Kimmel is annoying. Like the fighting with Kimmel over the jokes. Like, come on, man.

[Mark Normand]

Here's the thing about Adam Crow had a really good point. He said that joke. He said that joke on a Thursday. On Friday, nobody gave a. Because Kimmel. He said a joke about Melania. He made his own mock White House press correspondence Dinner. And he said Melania has the. The glow of a woman who's recently with widowed. Okay, just does it.

[Joe Rogan]

It's an old guy joke. Like he's gonna die.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it could be. Or an assassination joke, if you want to take it that way. But he is old.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, after the attempt?

[Mark Normand]

No, before. So it's on Thursday. And this is Corolla's point. That's a really good point. He said no one gave a on Friday. It came out. It came out on Thursday. No one cared on Friday. No one cared on Saturday until Saturday night when the assassination attempt. And then all of a sudden, everyone's blaming Kimmel.

[Shane Gillis]

It's so funny that the right wing turned into the same pussy faggots of the left wing are.

[Mark Normand]

It's the same.

[Joe Rogan]

It is the same.

[Mark Normand]

It's human. Your patterns, you could call them left or right. I mean, this is why the left supports war in Ukraine. It's like the why the left supports censorship. It's like the same patterns. It's control. Control and power.

[Joe Rogan]

You want your side to win. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

100.

[Joe Rogan]

That's where they found the note. Where Nicholas Tartaglion found it.

[Mark Normand]

Who's that? The guy who killed him. The super jacked contract killer cellmate that he had. You know that story? No. His cellmate was a super jack cop who killed drug dealers.

[Joe Rogan]

Ah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Is a gorilla. I mean, show ar a picture of the guy. Tartaglion is this huge, evil corrupt cop. Yeah, super guinea. He's like a roided up guinea.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Get the images.

[Joe Rogan]

I'd like to see this cat. Look at.

[Mark Normand]

Imagine that guy, your cellmate.

[Joe Rogan]

Jesus. Sucks.

[Mark Normand]

And he's killed four guys. Four drug dealers and contract killers.

[Shane Gillis]

What's he in jail for?

[Mark Normand]

Murder.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

Quadruple slaying.

[Jamie Lee]

He was in there for dollar dogs.

[Mark Normand]

No,

[Joe Rogan]

Cute dogs.

[Mark Normand]

Cute little doggies.

[Shane Gillis]

He's a pretty good guy.

[Mark Normand]

He ripped murdering people. And then they put him in the cell with them. With Epstein. And then he said Epstein tried to kill him. 18 days before he died. He complained. Excuse me? He said Tartaglioni tried to kill Epstein. Epstein complained, tried to kill him. Yeah, we tried. We tried to strangle to death.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

And he found him un. They found him unconscious and unresponsive to

[Jamie Lee]

break out of it. Whatever they do. Whatever they do.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Crob mega hat.

[Mark Normand]

That whole epine thing is so crazy that no one's gone to jail for that.

[Shane Gillis]

Pretty surprising that they're still not releasing it.

[Mark Normand]

Here's what's crazy. No arrests. No, no, no one's like being brought in. Meanwhile, Comey is getting arrested for a photo of seashells that say 8647.

[Jamie Lee]

He's getting arrested for that?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. What's 86 getting charged? What's 8647?

[Joe Rogan]

86 get rid of President 47.

[Mark Normand]

But you could say kill. But 86 is if you get fired. What happened to Mike? He got 86.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

It doesn't mean you got killed. But this is a crazy thing to arrest someone for.

[Joe Rogan]

Of course.

[Mark Normand]

FBI arrested in Virginia appears briefly in court.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, they already, like, had it out for him.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Shane Gillis]

Just looking for any excuse.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, cr. This is the problem is it sets a crazy precedent.

[Jamie Lee]

That's already. That's the worst. Like, that's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

That's the crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

You went after me. Well, now we're going after you for nothing. It doesn't matter.

[Mark Normand]

It's nuts. It's nuts. Like you're going after someone for something. That's just silly. It's 8647 is get rid of 47.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Free speech. But it's just like arresting a guy for that is nuts.

[Joe Rogan]

Come. We don't play that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, it's one thing, like, if you have like, a photo of him, like an AI, you post the AI photo of him dead, you know, with bullet holes in him. Like, wouldn't that be nice?

[Shane Gillis]

Yes, but also.

[Mark Normand]

But even that.

[Shane Gillis]

Even that's okay. Not as an FBI director.

[Mark Normand]

Right. But he's a former FBI director, so he's a private citizen at that point. That point, he'd already left the office.

[Joe Rogan]

It's crazy. Trump could take a shot, but not a joke.

[Shane Gillis]

It's just retaliation for going after Trump.

[Mark Normand]

Well, it is, but it's like they're just looking for any reason. But it just doesn't seem. It seems like there should be other reasons. Like if the guy really was dirty, you should have something on him other than this seashell picture.

[Joe Rogan]

He just hates him. And he's using that.

[Mark Normand]

I know, but it's that such abusive. This was my thing when people weren't upset about ICE people in the street with masks on and no identification. I'm like, this sets a crazy precedent. Yeah, I understand you want the undocumented criminals out of the country. I agree. However, death squads on the street setting a precedent for militarized people with seven weeks training to be walking around with fucking weapons of war and flak jackets with no ID and masks on. That's all I'm saying. Like, this is a slippery slope. You're going down.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's no bueno.

[Mark Normand]

But then also, they wouldn't have to be there like that if there wasn't these. Or there wouldn't be any conflict. There was an organized. Paid for protest. Protests. They paid people to protest. They paid people because they had the fucking. All that fraud in Minnesota. Yeah, but the reason why I was in Minneapolis. Why the fucking. The protests were strongest in Minneapolis and organized because that's where all the fraud was. That's where all the people were getting caught. So they said, let's defuse this. And Mike Benz.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not. It's not. You don't just give Randos guns and go. All right, they went over. They overstepped. So here, you said we straightened. Go ahead.

[Mark Normand]

Not just give Randos guns. They gave him fifty thousand dollar sign signing bonus. So yeah, you get a fifty thousand dollar signing bonus. And by the way, a lot of them are Mexican. A lot of them are Mexican. Including the two guys that shot that dude in Minneapolis. Both Mexicans. Excuse me? Hispanic, sure. Latino. Had Latin names.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, interesting.

[Jamie Lee]

I was at the airport in Philly and ICE agent was like, yo, my man, what's up?

[Mark Normand]

And I was like, yo, children, don't

[Jamie Lee]

ask me for a picture.

[Joe Rogan]

You see that?

[Mark Normand]

Trump renamed it instead of ice. Now it's nice.

[Joe Rogan]

I saw that.

[Mark Normand]

It's nice now instead of ice.

[Joe Rogan]

So now you're protesting nice.

[Mark Normand]

It's National Immigrations Customs Enforcement.

[Jamie Lee]

He's done it again.

[Joe Rogan]

Remind Brilliant.

[Jamie Lee]

Our leader.

[Mark Normand]

That's funny.

[Joe Rogan]

He's a wild boy.

[Jamie Lee]

Still funny.

[Mark Normand]

It is funny calling it nice. Is your thing about to go off? Is that where you stopping it?

[Joe Rogan]

Just realized I left my kid in a Somali daycare. I got to go pick him up.

[Mark Normand]

He'll be fine.

[Shane Gillis]

What happened to ICE while I was gone? Did they go nuts?

[Mark Normand]

No. Yeah, well, you don't know about Alex. Freddy. No.

[Jamie Lee]

2 citizens.

[Mark Normand]

Good for you.

[Joe Rogan]

But you've been gone, huh?

[Shane Gillis]

But killed two citizens.

[Mark Normand]

Well, there's one lady that got killed in a car because she was. They were trying to tell her to stay put. She was protesting and with them. And then she drove when the cop tried to step in front of her car. She's clearly turning her wheel away from him. She's not trying to run him over. And he just talked.

[Shane Gillis]

Who, a cop or ice?

[Mark Normand]

ICE CO guys. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And he said, an American born citizen.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A crazy lady.

[Joe Rogan]

Who?

[Jamie Lee]

Anyone.

[Mark Normand]

But yes. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Lesbian.

[Mark Normand]

Allegedly.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, well, the girlfriend was there.

[Mark Normand]

Do you believe in them though? For real?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. She looked Like a lesbian.

[Mark Normand]

You don't think.

[Jamie Lee]

No, they seemed legit.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, she had a kid. She looked like Brock Lesnar.

[Mark Normand]

She. She's a newly lesbian lady.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay, newly lesbian.

[Shane Gillis]

What was the backlash on that?

[Mark Normand]

It was pretty bad.

[Joe Rogan]

Pretty bad?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Pretty bad backlash. And then this Alex pretty guy that.

[Shane Gillis]

Do they manage that one?

[Mark Normand]

The Alex pretty guy was ab. The Alex pretty guy was carrying a gun. And so he was open carrying or concealed carrying. And like, physically pushing cops, like, it was kind of crazy. And then they tackle him. They found out he's a gun. This is where it gets crazy. One of the border protections agents grabs the gun and is taking it away. And unfortunately, the gun accidentally goes. Goes off. The gun that he was carrying is called a SIG P320, and it's notorious for accidental discharges. So this is confusing because it's hard to tell because the video is a little grainy. But most people who are experts look at it say that. That at least videos that I've watched say that that gun accident accidentally went off without the guy touching the trigger. But also the cop has the gun. The cops moving away with the gun. They say he has a gun gun. The ICE people, the cops say he. It's border protections. It's not even ice. It's a different organization. So the border protections guys are moving away with the gun. The gun goes off, and these guys think the guy has another gun. And then they start shooting them, and they shoot him and kill them while they have them down.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a rough video.

[Mark Normand]

This is all my interpretation based on videos. I. I might not be accurate, but I've seen the video. It does look like the slide moves. It does look like the sound of a gun going. Going off corresponds with that slide moving. And that gun is notorious. Like, if you look up sig P320 online accidental discharge, you'll see tons of videos. I haven't had one of those a long time. I used to have the one on my wet dreams.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, been there.

[Jamie Lee]

That's like a sig.

[Mark Normand]

Sorry,

[Shane Gillis]

let's talk for 20 minutes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, so you missed all the ice, all the fun.

[Joe Rogan]

Good for you.

[Mark Normand]

But it's like the only reason why there were violent people in the streets protesting is because it was an organized, paid for protest. They actually physically paid people to be there and protest. They gave them signs.

[Joe Rogan]

How do you get on that list to get paid for that?

[Mark Normand]

You got to get on some wacky left wing newsletter. I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Still, like. Yeah, you don't just put random people

[Mark Normand]

I mean, you do have to get rid of all the cartel members and all the criminals that came across the border. I mean, they let more than 10 million people into the country over four years.

[Shane Gillis]

America is a great way of like overreacting to stuff. They're like, oh, Saddam Hussein's a problem. Let's go in there and kill a million people.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, America does that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we, we're like, not the best people to handle stuff. And we're like, still like, we should handle it.

[Jamie Lee]

You know who else does it?

[Joe Rogan]

Who?

[Shane Gillis]

Israel. Blame everything on Israel.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm not blaming everything. Yeah, they're part of it.

[Mark Normand]

It is amazing how many high profile Jewish people just. They have a opinion about everything. But when it gets to this, like. Yes, they just avoid that or come up with some random way to justify annihilating an entire city.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. It's just funny to me when Americans are like, hey, this other country's overstepping.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, we bombed Japan twice.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we were pretty colonel. Second, Afghanistan.

[Jamie Lee]

Those had it really coming.

[Shane Gillis]

They were Jews twice.

[Jamie Lee]

The second one was just going, hey, check this out. Russia.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Jamie Lee]

But yeah, whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that was a long time ago.

[Joe Rogan]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

Everybody did. That's dead. But based on today. Yeah, it's a lot like Lebanon, bro. What they're doing in Lebanon right now is crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they're looking for Hezbollah.

[Mark Normand]

They got to look under rubble.

[Joe Rogan]

Barney Rubble. One more time with that later there. Thank you. There we go.

[Mark Normand]

It's a wild time to be alive, kids.

[Joe Rogan]

It's wild.

[Mark Normand]

But at least we're going to have drugs soon.

[Shane Gillis]

That's pretty nice.

[Mark Normand]

Well, at least all those people that are hooked on pills are going to get off of them. A lot of them are. At least it's going to at least give them something that works.

[Jamie Lee]

How they going to get it? How come we can't get free health care?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, right.

[Jamie Lee]

Why don't we do that?

[Joe Rogan]

I'm paying out the.

[Jamie Lee]

Yes, why can't we do that?

[Mark Normand]

I bet if they took all the money from fraud, it would pay for health care 10 times.

[Jamie Lee]

Or in Ukraine or Israel.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, why not?

[Shane Gillis]

Right?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, that's what's annoying. All these politics. Like, if we get this much money, we can cure this. You have all this money. What are you doing?

[Mark Normand]

I think 100 free health care would be an awesome thing. But you also want doctors to be incentivized, to be really good at their jobs.

[Jamie Lee]

For sure, but.

[Mark Normand]

So you want like the guy that did your knee and did my. My knee. That's a. Bees are bad.

[Jamie Lee]

Why can't we have universal health care and private doctors?

[Mark Normand]

We should be able to have both

[Joe Rogan]

of those things, like public school and private school.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right. Public defenders. You're allowed to have a public defender.

[Shane Gillis]

The ease at which I got treated in third world countries was like, really? Yeah. You just go in.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You go into a pharmacy, see somebody like, here's your pills. You need. Here's your. Here's your drops.

[Joe Rogan]

You need dirty needles and weird equipment over there.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

Harvard trained doctors.

[Joe Rogan]

Come on.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. There's just no upset.

[Mark Normand]

Universal health care system in America would cost approximately 3.0 to 3.2 trillion annually.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

Which is actually less than the current system. That costs around 5.3 trillion per year.

[Mark Normand]

So. Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

You're talking about a savings of almost 50%.

[Jamie Lee]

Why don't we get. Why don't we get free health care?

[Mark Normand]

So savings of 450 billion annually while providing coverage to all Americans. According to Perplexity, our AI sponsor, which has never wrong, the United States currently spends about 5.3 trillion in health care. $15,474 per person as of 2024.

[Shane Gillis]

Even when something goes wrong and you have insurance, it's not paid for. You got to spend five grand to get anesthesia and then another five grand to go downstairs for the surgery.

[Mark Normand]

What do you think is the problem? What is it? What is causing insurance company trying to make you president.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, thanks. It's insurance companies.

[Joe Rogan]

When I read a Jew, I got my.

[Shane Gillis]

I got my teeth checked in Ecuador, and they were like, you have impacted gums. I was like, all right. I was about to go home in a week. I was like, when I go home, I'll do. I'll fix it. And they're like, are you nuts?

[Joe Rogan]

Do it.

[Shane Gillis]

People fly here to get that surgery because it's so much cheaper. Flight, hotels, all that is much cheaper than doing it there.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And like, we have a surgeon. And I was like, is he, like, trained? And they're like, yeah, he went to Yale medical school.

[Mark Normand]

Dude shows up, sacrifices.

[Jamie Lee]

Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, this is what. They clipped Bernie because he was trying to do this. So they got rid of him.

[Mark Normand]

That was one thing he was trying to do.

[Shane Gillis]

It kind of blows. It's embarrassing.

[Mark Normand]

All right, let's put him right. How much would it cost if school, like, higher education was le. Was free.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's too much money in that. They won't do it.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, that's the same exact thing with healthcare.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's A fortress we're making as a country.

[Jamie Lee]

It's all.

[Joe Rogan]

And it's gone up.

[Jamie Lee]

Same reason we're doing wars.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Money to make money.

[Joe Rogan]

Of course, the oil.

[Jamie Lee]

Nothing else. Not even just oil. But defense contracts they need.

[Mark Normand]

They're raking it in.

[Joe Rogan]

I thought it was just.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, the war has already cost how much? Let's find out that. How much is the war? Let's just say globally. No, no, let's just. Let's just look at how much Iran has cost us.

[Joe Rogan]

There we go.

[Mark Normand]

That's what I mean, shake a guess. Shut down the uk Right, But I mean just us spending money to bomb Iran. Just that the simplest. The bombs lowest run without the economic impact. The oil impact.

[Joe Rogan]

What about the Hormuz and all. All that, because all that, well, that's.

[Mark Normand]

That's a factor. But let's just find out how much the raw money spent on the bombs.

[Shane Gillis]

25.

[Mark Normand]

25 billion.

[Joe Rogan]

Ah, that's dropping the bucket 60 days into the war.

[Shane Gillis]

How much is Ukraine?

[Joe Rogan]

That's a lot more.

[Mark Normand]

So what. What concerns me not just. Well, all of it concerns me. One of the things that someone told me was that we've kind of depleted our weapon supplies because we bought. We don't have that many of those missiles.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, we give them all to Ukraine crew and then we gave him. Now we're using them.

[Shane Gillis]

That's.

[Joe Rogan]

Zielinski's a mooch. He just keeps wanting more.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't think it's.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, you think it's is.

[Jamie Lee]

No, I think it's adesanya.

[Joe Rogan]

It's us.

[Mark Normand]

It was the US money, but it's all. It's all together. Every. It's all big scam, Ponzi scheme. Everybody's making money.

[Joe Rogan]

You should get Trump on here.

[Mark Normand]

We're doing great. Don't let anybody lie to you.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, maybe you. Maybe next time we schmooze them into free, free healthcare.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe next time we smoosh them into a. Protect our parks. Come on, dog.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's crazy too, because I've gotten. There was a pill I had to get like three of when I went to Asia or something and it was like I got two here. They cost me like 400 each. And then the same. It's the same drug in Myanmar. It's like $40.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's one thing that he has fixed. One thing that Trump is working on is making whatever the low price is internationally the price of people paying them America. And he told. He's hilarious. He was telling us, I've got a Friend, I don't want to say his name. Very successful, He's a big guy. He took the fat pill. It didn't work. But he was going on about how his friend went overseas, he forgot his fat pill. He went overseas and he was in Europe and he got it for like a hundred bucks.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He's like, this is like $1300 in America.

[Joe Rogan]

It's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

It's not right. It's not right. And so he made it so that whatever the low cost is in these other countries. Countries, that's the low cost in America. That's what it costs here now.

[Joe Rogan]

Is that right?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

That's good.

[Joe Rogan]

Everybody's on it.

[Mark Normand]

It's like you're not going to get all good for any drug. You know, you're not going to get all good with any president either. You know, you're going to get a lot of bad. Because all these people are surrounded by demons. They're surrounded by war hawks and demons and defense contractors and scam artists in the pharmaceutical industry. There's all these people that are trying to make sure that they can make the most amount of money possible. Just all coke, snort and demonstration demons. Allegedly.

[Jamie Lee]

I was watching this documentary on the homeless here in Austin and they're talking about how like I was on schizophrenia medicine, I can't afford it anymore. And they're out there just sprinting.

[Mark Normand]

What happens if you take schizophrenia medicine and you don't have schizophrenia?

[Jamie Lee]

I think I did that a couple shots. I think I took some anti psychotics and slept for four days. Huge mistake.

[Joe Rogan]

It helps you. I think it's asleep.

[Jamie Lee]

Antipsychotic.

[Joe Rogan]

He was like, here, take this.

[Mark Normand]

Does he take it?

[Jamie Lee]

I don't know if he takes. It was expired, so I guess not.

[Mark Normand]

Jesus Christ.

[Joe Rogan]

It helps.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but expired medication, I was just reading this thing about that like most expired medication is actually still usable, like up to 300% longer than they say it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's like a little bit less effective, but still good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. But I don't even know if it's less effective. This, this thing was saying that it's 100% effective for a long period of time after the expiration date. I don't know why they have an expiration date. It's not like milk.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

You know?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. The healthcare thing is really embarrassing, to be honest.

[Jamie Lee]

Gets really embarrassing institutions and some free health care for these fellows. Yeah, I don't know how to. Obviously no one knows. We gotta do something.

[Mark Normand]

A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs. Right. Fentanyl Zombies. You need ibogaine for all those people. Mental health facilities. You need to get them on whatever medication to fix their schizophrenia.

[Jamie Lee]

And it's also. It's not even like a goodwill thing. It's also also like, we need to clean.

[Joe Rogan]

Self safety.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

It's for everybody. So what are we doing?

[Joe Rogan]

Why are.

[Jamie Lee]

Whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Skid row Los Angeles.

[Jamie Lee]

Hold up.

[Mark Normand]

Skid row in Los Angeles is 50 blocks.

[Joe Rogan]

50 blocks, five zeros.

[Shane Gillis]

Last time I looked, it said American Health. Americans pay more than two times the next country for health care, and we get the 17th best coverage.

[Mark Normand]

And we're the sickest.

[Joe Rogan]

We're the sickest.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's nuts. We spend the most money.

[Jamie Lee]

Toronto, it was clean.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You just go right to a doctor.

[Jamie Lee]

Just driving around, I was like, this is crazy. How did. How are we getting. Why is America.

[Joe Rogan]

I know. And our. Is locked up at the cvs. Yeah. They don't have that. Everybody's stealing.

[Mark Normand]

Well, there's a lot of stealing.

[Shane Gillis]

The most.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I love to.

[Shane Gillis]

Still. Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

You steal. Why are you locking it up?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I got a problem.

[Mark Normand]

A little bit.

[Joe Rogan]

Just to, like, airports and stuff.

[Shane Gillis]

Movie theaters you do everywhere. Come on, don't sell yourself short.

[Joe Rogan]

A little bit of a thrill. Can I get the Winona Rider thing?

[Shane Gillis]

It's cheaper, too.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's cheaper.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, the last time I saw. I saw Mark Steele was we're at a movie theater, and I got some popcorn, and it's. I'm sure it's closed by now. And then the lady turned around, I got my popcorn, and then he just had beef jerky in the movie.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they were selling it.

[Shane Gillis]

How'd you get that? Most expensive item. I just reached for it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Joe Rogan]

They up the prices.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, you get a Hudson News Clif Bar, it's eight bucks. Not on my watch.

[Jamie Lee]

Ridiculous.

[Joe Rogan]

Not on my watch. Once you're on the plane, you're home free.

[Jamie Lee]

You know, you're raising the cost for the rest of us.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

They put that in. They. They factor the theft in.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Successful person. That's outrageous.

[Shane Gillis]

Habits die hard.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You don't. No one's gonna be sympathetic towards you. You have money.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm not asking you to. I'm just saying it's a fun ride.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't want it.

[Mark Normand]

It's the beef jerky. Taste better when it's stolen.

[Joe Rogan]

Easily.

[Jamie Lee]

Everything tastes better when it's stolen.

[Joe Rogan]

It's so weird.

[Shane Gillis]

Diaz, one time at the. At the airport, he just comes off from one of those bodegas, and he Comes on. He just shows me tic tacs. And it was like, what is that for? He goes, yeah, right. I got that. And they just threw in the garbage.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

And I was like, what are you doing? I got some. Trying to stop. Stay sharp.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a fy steal. It rattles.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a hard steal.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a hard steal.

[Shane Gillis]

That's right.

[Mark Normand]

Sharp is hilarious.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't throw it out. I eat.

[Mark Normand]

I don't throw it out.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Joey's going in for surgery today.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, tits.

[Mark Normand]

Knee.

[Shane Gillis]

Getting some.

[Jamie Lee]

Getting cannons. Canon. Canon reduction surgery.

[Mark Normand]

Surgery. He's getting his tits removed. He's getting that big scar.

[Joe Rogan]

But him shirtless is right rough.

[Mark Normand]

How many times have you seen it?

[Joe Rogan]

Just once. And it's burned in.

[Shane Gillis]

I've seen it. Joey Karate.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Everybody see?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. Joey Karate's great.

[Mark Normand]

That guy's such an animal.

[Shane Gillis]

He's a high kicks and he's got his leg up to about his knee height.

[Jamie Lee]

It's pretty good, dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Is he around? Did he move here yet?

[Mark Normand]

No, but he's coming back and forth all the time. There he is.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at that thing. That looks like AI.

[Joe Rogan]

That's crazy.

[Jamie Lee]

Jesus.

[Shane Gillis]

How's he alive without context of a background? It' wild.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow, bro.

[Mark Normand]

That belly is crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

You got to have a decent hog if you're going to have that gut.

[Jamie Lee]

He's got a hell grubbing or boozing. What's that?

[Shane Gillis]

What is that?

[Mark Normand]

Food. Food.

[Jamie Lee]

He's grubbing.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Joey can't stop eating.

[Shane Gillis]

He doesn't really drink.

[Mark Normand]

He doesn't drink at all. I go to eat with Joey.

[Joe Rogan]

It's.

[Mark Normand]

It's a scene.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a fun time.

[Mark Normand]

He loves it.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that poor ghee.

[Mark Normand]

He goes off, eats. He eats. He loves food. But he's just.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, my God. Chinese place by my place. You got to come.

[Mark Normand]

He's the most fun human.

[Jamie Lee]

Sucks.

[Mark Normand]

He's the most fun, fun human that's ever existed.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

No one's more fun.

[Joe Rogan]

It's good egg.

[Mark Normand]

He's barely a real person. He's a human cartoon real.

[Shane Gillis]

He's so funny.

[Joe Rogan]

So he's still getting up on stage. He's still doing sets.

[Mark Normand]

Killed. He killed. He was here. He did an hour. He's got all these great stories. It's really, really good. Really well done.

[Joe Rogan]

All right.

[Shane Gillis]

This is the man.

[Joe Rogan]

Good to have him back. That's the thing about comedy. We're kind of losing the. The wildness. You know, when I. When I started comedy, it was like Geraldo and all These guys are all dead now.

[Mark Normand]

Think it's kind of coming back now. I think it's coming back because TV's going away. So it's like. It gets down to the root of what is really effective in comedy. It's wildness is more effective. It's. It's more fun if you're sitting there drunk in a crowd and some dudes on stage going off saying crazy. It's more fun.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, cuz you live fun.

[Shane Gillis]

But I don't know if that's actually here. I think there's a lot of guys

[Joe Rogan]

with jobs, sober, a lot of sobriety.

[Shane Gillis]

Got to get up early for a podcast tomorrow.

[Mark Normand]

Young guys, though. These young guys aren't like that. A lot of these young guys up are doing drugs.

[Shane Gillis]

They're doing so good.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, they're on clips, but they're. They're still wild boys.

[Shane Gillis]

Some people are still giving it, bringing it.

[Joe Rogan]

You hope so.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, used to be so much fun. I know Mackie was drinking when it was just a drinking crowd. It was a lot of go.

[Joe Rogan]

A lot of whiskey.

[Jamie Lee]

There's. There's that here, here, here, here. Yeah, here. Like last night.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, last night.

[Jamie Lee]

We did it last night.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, what happened? I miss.

[Jamie Lee]

We just. Just some booze, had a couple drinks.

[Shane Gillis]

Just some bros and bros.

[Jamie Lee]

I was begging him to.

[Mark Normand]

I was.

[Jamie Lee]

I've changed my new.

[Shane Gillis]

He has a new. He's like, all right, come on, drink. I'm like, no, I gotta get up tomorrow. I was like, dude. I'm like, oh, you're going to call me gay? No, lame, bro. I've been gone. I've had time to ruminate on this.

[Joe Rogan]

You can peer. You can peer with the best.

[Jamie Lee]

I got a new peer pressure. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I'm just saying, like, I want to drink and I want to be alone. If you're friends.

[Jamie Lee]

No, no. I was like. I was like, tomorrow's gonna be tough for me. I'd like it to be tough for somebody else. Do me a favor. Chug that drink.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Dear one.

[Shane Gillis]

He has no idea what your count is. He just comes in. He goes, you could do more, but yeah, I could have done one or seven, and you would have no idea. Clue. You got to go more.

[Joe Rogan]

Deros is up there.

[Jamie Lee]

Shout. It's my birthday month.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Joe Rogan]

He's like a chick.

[Shane Gillis]

He's the biggest pig in comedy.

[Joe Rogan]

He is a pig.

[Jamie Lee]

Dude. I hate him.

[Joe Rogan]

He'll. He'll pour shots in your mouth. He doesn't care. He'll tilt your hand.

[Shane Gillis]

He'll also go like, Come on, don't be a. Do a shot. And then you do. And then 10 minutes later, he's gone and he's at KFC.

[Mark Normand]

He's so funny how he shits on weed. People, too.

[Joe Rogan]

I know he hates weed.

[Mark Normand]

It's so weird.

[Jamie Lee]

I like his.

[Shane Gillis]

He's classic drinker.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm with him.

[Shane Gillis]

He's classic drinker.

[Jamie Lee]

I think he was just around a lot of all the New York comics got sober and then just smoked weed constantly. And then they're like, oh, you're drinking again. It's like, dude, you haven't had a thought in seven years.

[Joe Rogan]

It's all munchies.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, this. Some people. I mean, everything could be abused.

[Shane Gillis]

There's only a couple people in comedy that do weed, like, real good. Like soda.

[Jamie Lee]

Soda.

[Shane Gillis]

J, sure. Where they're like. They're just the same.

[Mark Normand]

Go Happy Chappelle.

[Joe Rogan]

Chappelle. Because, yes, most people go in on weed. They still are out and fun, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's a personality thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Totally.

[Shane Gillis]

They're still. Still active. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's also. I think it's a biological thing because I think it affects people very differently.

[Joe Rogan]

Definitely.

[Shane Gillis]

Can you get high when you smoke?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Jimmy gets high. Okay, cool. Edibles just don't work on the kid.

[Joe Rogan]

That's wild.

[Mark Normand]

Young Jamie shrugs him off. That's crazy. You try to dose him up, he'll smile right in your face.

[Jamie Lee]

Jamie, I'd like. I'd like you to have a Brusky. What's going on?

[Joe Rogan]

Be nice.

[Jamie Lee]

We talked about this earlier, and I'd like. I'd love for you to get involved today.

[Joe Rogan]

You talked at me. I didn't really. Put on the beer. Put on the beer.

[Jamie Lee]

All of a sudden, I'm talking.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, it worked.

[Jamie Lee]

He's drinking.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it works. He said.

[Jamie Lee]

He said something nasty, and that's fine for that.

[Mark Normand]

What is it?

[Jamie Lee]

You talked at me. I'm trying to include you and have it.

[Mark Normand]

Let's have fun.

[Joe Rogan]

J's a sassy.

[Mark Normand]

He's just being. Just clarifying.

[Shane Gillis]

He's an assassin.

[Jamie Lee]

I didn't talk at you. How did I talk?

[Joe Rogan]

A discussion. I mean, it was one. Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

A little discussion. And then I said, let's go watch Sixers. Celtics. Let's have a couple beers.

[Joe Rogan]

Great night.

[Jamie Lee]

Go to a bar, watch the Celtics.

[Joe Rogan]

Hell, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Joe Rogan]

Peer pressure. Upload the podcast.

[Jamie Lee]

You can upload it with four beers.

[Joe Rogan]

You're Pierce Morgan.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Leave it till Monday.

[Shane Gillis]

We don't care.

[Mark Normand]

When you get in that car tomorrow.

[Shane Gillis]

A.

[Joe Rogan]

A tree fell on his car.

[Mark Normand]

I know that Crashed my car.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

From what? The winds here.

[Jamie Lee]

They're doing some road work right in

[Shane Gillis]

front of my house.

[Jamie Lee]

And the. The vi. The vibration.

[Shane Gillis]

Aa.

[Jamie Lee]

Sean's.

[Shane Gillis]

They building seven.

[Joe Rogan]

You got second towered.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jamie Lee]

I really did. The house I live in, I'm renting this house. It's like one of those new. Like a prefab or whatever those things. These new Austin houses.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Which are all the exact same. Which I kind of don't like at all.

[Shane Gillis]

Is it the same one you've been in? Oh, yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Like a 15 foot ceiling for no reason. It's one floor el couch.

[Shane Gillis]

It has this type of wall. It's like standard.

[Mark Normand]

It's a beautiful house.

[Jamie Lee]

It is very nice. And I've. The last house I was in was a queen's apartment, but.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

That had more soul than this place.

[Jamie Lee]

More soul for sure. But when I first walked into the house I'm in now, I was like, holy.

[Shane Gillis]

Moving on up.

[Jamie Lee]

Incredible.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Piece of.

[Joe Rogan]

It looks like a house from a porn.

[Shane Gillis]

It's an Airbnb.

[Jamie Lee]

It is an Airbnb.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It is weird how money changes. Changes you.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like it changes what you're accustomed to. You get a little accustomed.

[Jamie Lee]

I was thinking about this. Yeah. You get accustomed to nice things. But I. I keep trying to change and I'm just not really changing.

[Shane Gillis]

What do you mean?

[Mark Normand]

Well, as a human.

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

The cement is dry. You're always gonna be Mechanicsburg.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

It's mechanics. Where it's light beers. It's like all of a sudden I realized I'm just getting drunk at higher places.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Jamie Lee]

Like I'm just in a taller building. Getting drunk.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. With more expensive beer.

[Jamie Lee]

The exact same, everybody. Exact same beer, Everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

Deep Creek.

[Joe Rogan]

It's the same beer, but the price go up.

[Shane Gillis]

Everybody at Deep Creek was like poor white trash in like Maryland. And then they like got rich. And like when they were poor, like, we could just barely afford one Bud Light. Another rich like 10 bud lights. What is Deep Creek? Lake is where pontooners go to party.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Pontoons.

[Mark Normand]

Where's that?

[Shane Gillis]

It's like deep almost by West Virginia. Man made giant lake. It's perfect rules.

[Joe Rogan]

Same with New Orleans. We'd go out to the Boca Chitta and tube all day. Remember tubing a river with a float?

[Shane Gillis]

You just jump down, walk along.

[Mark Normand]

I think it's good that you're not changing. It's a good sign.

[Jamie Lee]

If I could.

[Joe Rogan]

No, I mean, you change a little.

[Jamie Lee]

Ruin you.

[Joe Rogan]

You got some good stuff going on.

[Shane Gillis]

Literally, if you said this to Shane, yesterday, if you go, you've changed. He'd be like, what the is that supposed to mean?

[Jamie Lee]

Well, it's just wrong.

[Shane Gillis]

I know.

[Jamie Lee]

And I go, God damn, I wish I could.

[Mark Normand]

He dressed the same.

[Joe Rogan]

But you're not going to stay at a Holiday Express. Sure, you have a nice hotel.

[Mark Normand]

You've handled fame very well.

[Shane Gillis]

Pretty well.

[Mark Normand]

You haven't gotten weird. Weird at all. Now some people get weird just from the pressure of it.

[Shane Gillis]

Almost everybody. Yeah, almost everybody. 98% get, like, different.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm thinking of eight comics in my head right now who have gone full diva.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they get weird. It's very strange.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane, I know. You have not changed. Oh, the bottom. You've changed, bro.

[Jamie Lee]

You changed.

[Shane Gillis]

What the.

[Jamie Lee]

Wait, you work for Israel now. This is.

[Mark Normand]

This is Taste of Aluminum. Some people like these aluminum Taste bottle,

[Shane Gillis]

beer taste in a can commercial. I remember when I was little, what it was some. It was. It was some out some beer, and they go, bottle beer tastes in a can. I was like, is bottle beer better way?

[Mark Normand]

I like the aluminum flavor.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

I like. Give me a glass bottle, but a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

What's this bottle be Ter?

[Mark Normand]

That's what it was in a can.

[Shane Gillis]

What my memory served bad beer.

[Jamie Lee]

Crush those Keystones.

[Joe Rogan]

This is a commercial from 1948.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what I remember. I remember Isra. I was watching this commercial.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, you guys. You guys watch the Hogan doc. It's good, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Great.

[Joe Rogan]

Really so good.

[Shane Gillis]

When he's getting sued for taking down Belzer, he rules. And he's like, I was making 3,500amonth, and I'm getting sued for 500,000. I was famous but not rich. And they're like, what are we going to do? Oh, he rules.

[Mark Normand]

I didn't even know he got sued

[Shane Gillis]

for that to go into msg. I mean, he choked the guy unconscious every day. He did. He could have. Jon Jones used to do this all the time, but at least it was soft matte. This was like, hard floor. He just. Just, like, threw.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but Jon Jones is doing. In a UFC fight against yo. Machida, someone who agreed.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he does it. And then he. He. If he just laid him down, it'd be like, point proven, right?

[Joe Rogan]

But he had to bring it.

[Jamie Lee]

He's on TV drunk and on steroids and on coke.

[Shane Gillis]

And somebody.

[Jamie Lee]

Someone's like, yo, your shit's fake.

[Mark Normand]

Is that what Bowser said? That he fake?

[Shane Gillis]

It's so funny, too, because he's like. He's like, oh, you think I'm fake? Is that fake? You're like, no, but you don't do that when I'm talking. It is fake.

[Mark Normand]

Do you remember what John Stossel confronted that wrestler backstage?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

It's great.

[Mark Normand]

And the wrestler just slapped him a bunch of times. Slapped the out of him. I think that ruined that guy's career, though. I think.

[Shane Gillis]

The wrestler.

[Mark Normand]

The wrestler.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I never heard of this. I don't know.

[Jamie Lee]

I think. Who was the wrestler?

[Joe Rogan]

Stossel's still around.

[Mark Normand]

Stossel's still around. But I think it ruined the wrestler's career.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Because he beat the out of him.

[Jamie Lee]

He looks like.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

I feel like in my head he looks like Sid Vicious or.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he's a giant dude. And he slapped him open palm to the ear, which could definitely make you go. Go deaf.

[Shane Gillis]

But I mean, if you told BJ Penn in his prime or. Or. Or. Or. Or anybody, like, I think what you do is fake. They'd be like, it's not.

[Mark Normand]

John Stossa was slapped twice by WWF wrestle doctor D. David Schultz backstage. Madison Square Garden after calling pro wrestling fake during a 2020 expose incident left Stoss with pain and ringing in his ears, leading to a lawsuit against WWF Jewish Wrestling. You think he made money? All right. At least he's not pissing in a kombucha jar.

[Jamie Lee]

He probably is.

[Joe Rogan]

Give it an hour.

[Mark Normand]

Here it is. So he's great grabbing him. He gets him in this sleeper hold and he goes. He slumps and then he just drops

[Joe Rogan]

him head hit the. Hit the floor hard.

[Jamie Lee]

Professional is he though, when he gets home?

[Mark Normand]

Incident is from a 1985 episode of what the. So Belzer was talking, saying it was fake.

[Joe Rogan]

Great host though. He pops right up and goes to commercial.

[Shane Gillis]

We'll be right back.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Heads bleeding and everything.

[Mark Normand]

That is crazy. Oh, wow. Look at the blood on the back of his head.

[Joe Rogan]

It's spurting out on his jacket. Look at that. What a pro.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That is.

[Joe Rogan]

Chris Rock could have learned quite professional.

[Mark Normand]

He seems happy.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at Mr. T that.

[Mark Normand]

He doesn't seem upset at all. And then he sued.

[Joe Rogan]

Yep.

[Mark Normand]

But you got to be a pro. But also you gotta be.

[Jamie Lee]

You know.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, his head looked like Kennedy.

[Mark Normand]

400, 000 settlement.

[Jamie Lee]

Next.

[Mark Normand]

Famously used the money to buy a home in France. Jokingly named it Chez Home. Shea Hogan.

[Joe Rogan]

That's fun.

[Mark Normand]

He bought a house in France. He lived in France for. For a while.

[Shane Gillis]

And then he Jew. He's had to be. Got a lawsuit for that.

[Joe Rogan]

Litigious.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. He didn't used to pay medical bills. He bought a house. That means That's a bonus in France.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a Jew move.

[Mark Normand]

And I think he was still doing that Law and Order show and just flying back and forth to France.

[Shane Gillis]

Met him once. It's the funniest thing. Cuz I saw him in like early, early, like doing those late night shows, you know, as a kid and was like, oh, that's comedian. And then he's done a lot of comics have this trajectory. Do nothing comedic.

[Joe Rogan]

Yep.

[Shane Gillis]

It's like comedic, coded, serious.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he was a comic.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Did a lot of comedy. I saw him do stand up in Boston in the 80s.

[Shane Gillis]

Then he became like just serious. Just a funny guy in serious roles. And not even that funny.

[Joe Rogan]

No. And then drop stand up.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Just money and ease.

[Joe Rogan]

It's so easy.

[Mark Normand]

It's that velvet prison. They start giving you money, you start showing up.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm service, you're eating stand up as a blue collar.

[Shane Gillis]

Also his co workers is a guy who made a song called Cop Killer. Like he's like, I'm rich now too. We're both rich. Don't even worry about who we used to be.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. That's interesting.

[Shane Gillis]

Chris Maloney

[Joe Rogan]

just.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Eventually they go, I'm just not that I'm not 25 anymore.

[Mark Normand]

I know. But I mean it's still a. Carlin did it till he died.

[Shane Gillis]

Carlin was a real one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Rickles did it till he died.

[Shane Gillis]

But Carlin was like anti establishment. Never changed who he was. And it was.

[Mark Normand]

That's what Belzer was beginning. He was kind of very conspiracy theory. He wrote a book on Elvis, Bigfoot and flying saucers. I think I read it back in the day. It's a conspiracy theory book by Belzer.

[Joe Rogan]

Five different conspiracy books.

[Mark Normand]

UFOs, JFKs and Elvis conspiracies. You don't have to be crazy to believe.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Dead wrong. Straight facts on the country's most controversial cover ups hit list. An in depth investigation. The mysterious deaths of witnesses. The JFK assassination.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. He's ahead of his time with that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he's. He was an interesting guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Judge chewing on.

[Mark Normand]

Very interesting guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. He. People loved him. He was a respected comedian. He was a crowd work guy. He was like the host. He was always the host work for SNL for five years.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh really?

[Joe Rogan]

Crowd warm up.

[Mark Normand]

Back in the day he was you know like a comics comic.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But there was a bunch of those like, like Leno was the comics comic.

[Joe Rogan]

Totally.

[Mark Normand]

Back in the day when I started

[Shane Gillis]

they were like the second best. That was a prior but like the second best Comic. Who is. Who's that gonna be? And a lot of people were like, Leno.

[Mark Normand]

I'm like, is that nuts?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What? Apparently, in the 70s, he was a animal.

[Joe Rogan]

That's like.

[Shane Gillis]

You get that for a reason. Yeah, you get. You don't. Just some open mic or. Who gets a Tonight Show?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but it's that thing. The Tonight show was just the golden thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, not the eagle. He's got glasses on Now, Kels,

[Mark Normand]

the 70s was, like, the golden era for those kind of comics.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you had a. Carlin was. He got, I think, four heart attacks from coke.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Something like that? Yeah, Maybe Prior was 4 and he was 3, but they were both up there.

[Mark Normand]

Jesus Christ. I didn't know Carlin had that many heart attacks.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, give it a go. Good. Jmo. I could be.

[Mark Normand]

How many heart attacks? He had three heart attacks.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

We also had a pill problem for a while.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He had to get off pills. This is, like, later in his life, right? Like, late. Late in his life, he was hooked on the pills.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Car Carlin. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Late in his life, big drug guy.

[Mark Normand]

Deep into his 60s and 70s.

[Shane Gillis]

He was the coolest of all the old amazing guys I met up there, for sure. But, like, I had to go get him a sandwich.

[Joe Rogan]

Really? What?

[Shane Gillis]

He did like, a month at the store.

[Joe Rogan]

Shut up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, a month of main room shows.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

A year.

[Mark Normand]

Two.

[Shane Gillis]

2001. 2002. And I got him a green BL. And I go, here you go. He gave me 20 bucks. I was like, oh, no, no, man. They covered it. He goes, I know. No, it's for you. I was like, all right. Sorry, Mr. Car. Don't call me that.

[Mark Normand]

He was cool, George. He was very unassuming. He was hanging out in the back area by the parking lot.

[Shane Gillis]

He would also sit in the back in Mitzy's chair. You know that. And. And if you did well, he stayed open mic sometimes, but only if he did well. He'd be like, good job, man.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

And then other people didn't. And he'd be like, hi.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. He's zing once.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he was a real comic.

[Joe Rogan]

I did a. He did a book signing because he had all those books. And I brought, like, four books to meet him at Borders on Wall Street. And I waited in line, and all these people are going like, I love you in Jersey Girl. I love you in Bill and Ted's. I was like, ah, these people don't know comedy. So I went up and I was like, I love this. This special back in town. Amazing, whatever. And he goes, what do you do? I go, I'm a comedy. Goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what he said, Jacking around.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't even know what that means.

[Shane Gillis]

Jacking around Me.

[Joe Rogan]

Seemed like he hated me.

[Shane Gillis]

You got a real talent for jacking around.

[Joe Rogan]

He goes, you sound like a comic. I go, oh, yeah? He goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around. I don't know what that means, but I. I'll take 70s lingo. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, he was around the day when Lenny Bruce was around.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. He got arrested at his show.

[Mark Normand]

Did he really? He got arrested with Lenny Bruce?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. They were in the same cop car. Really big story. That was his hero.

[Shane Gillis]

Carla. Came in to shop left. What? Delete that, Jamie.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Jamie Lee]

Jamie.

[Shane Gillis]

Jamie, delete that, please.

[Mark Normand]

That was a dry.

[Jamie Lee]

Keep it.

[Mark Normand]

Keep it dry ball.

[Shane Gillis]

Jamie, delete that, please.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't catch it.

[Jamie Lee]

We didn't even know. We didn't even know you were joking.

[Mark Normand]

We all tried to sort it out. Like, what am I missing?

[Joe Rogan]

What does he mean, leave a D, A bomb?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, those guys paved the road.

[Shane Gillis]

Tell you that getting arrested for jokes. Forget a heckler or some blogger.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Ruined going to jail?

[Mark Normand]

Ruined Lenny Bruce's life. Like, at the end of his life, he was just reading off court transcripts on stage, and the people get so bad, bummed out, they're like, hey, tell some jokes.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Like, we're here for you to do the thing.

[Mark Normand]

There's video of it. I bought video back in the day, VHS tapes of his recordings. And one of the recordings was him on stage in this small club, like, just reading off court transcripts. And it was just terrible.

[Jamie Lee]

It's like guys who get canceled and that's all they talk about.

[Joe Rogan]

Right, Right. That's what happens.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Becomes their thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's so crazy. You did an offhanded thing, and then now it's your everything. You got beaten one race by a chick, and now that's your whole life by a trans chick. That one, she went nuts. That girl who lost, who came in fifth at a fucking race by a trans chick.

[Jamie Lee]

Hold on a second. That one's kind of fair.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's a different thing.

[Jamie Lee]

You should go, why the fuck is this allowed?

[Shane Gillis]

Not 10 years later.

[Mark Normand]

What are you talking about?

[Shane Gillis]

She still made it her life.

[Mark Normand]

What do you mean?

[Joe Rogan]

A comic got beaten in a race, not a comic.

[Mark Normand]

I don't like your analogies.

[Jamie Lee]

Female athlete who lost to a trans athlete. She's going, we should have laws about this women.

[Mark Normand]

Which one? Oh, that's Riley Gaines.

[Shane Gillis]

It's her whole personality now. She didn't go to school for that. She was on a track. One thing happened and that she's like completely changed. Same as when comments get canceled. It's like, oh, that's all.

[Mark Normand]

He had a good point. Because not only did she not lose to that person, the Leah guy, but tied and then the Leah guy got the trophy and.

[Shane Gillis]

No, no, no. But there's more to that. No, they tied for fourth. Yeah, fourth and fifth and they go, hey, we only have four trophies. We're going to get killed if we don't give it to the truth trans lady. Can we just send you one later?

[Mark Normand]

Do you know how crazy that is, though? Do you know how crazy that is? You get it? Give it to a guy who pretended.

[Jamie Lee]

I'd be mad if that was at a comedy competition that no one saw.

[Shane Gillis]

No, they'll say, we'll send it to you next week.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, wait, why is the guy coming in fourth? He should be one.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, for sure.

[Joe Rogan]

This guy sucks. All of them lost.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he sucked first, second and third.

[Shane Gillis]

And none of those people involved came in first. Second and third. First, second and third. Nobody cares about fourth and fifth is what they're on arguing about.

[Jamie Lee]

Wait, I don't understand what your argument is, though. Oh, he's like, who cares? It's like, yeah, no, no, no.

[Shane Gillis]

To make it your whole life after that is what you're saying about canceled comics, but they become that thing. I understand, but she was going to school for not that. And now that's her job.

[Jamie Lee]

Here's what they're going to school for.

[Shane Gillis]

You're saying it changed your whole trajectory.

[Mark Normand]

Would you go to school for a

[Shane Gillis]

English literature breaking down analysis of life and stuff?

[Mark Normand]

Are you doing well on that right now?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. You're doing terrible.

[Mark Normand]

This moment right here, that's failing you.

[Shane Gillis]

No, you say these cancel comments can make that their whole life. This chick is not doing that. She tied a race for fourth and fifth and now that's all she does for a living.

[Mark Normand]

What is an example of a canceled comic that's made it their whole life? Like who? What? Without naming?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't want to name anybody.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

But you. We've just talked about that. There's a lot.

[Jamie Lee]

I understand. I understand what you're saying.

[Shane Gillis]

Sort of.

[Joe Rogan]

Jew is on Netflix.

[Shane Gillis]

Jew's on Netflix.

[Mark Normand]

It's on Netflix now. That is pretty cool that Netflix bought it.

[Joe Rogan]

That's cool.

[Mark Normand]

On YouTube.

[Shane Gillis]

They didn't buy it. They're just putting it up.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh,

[Shane Gillis]

I don't care.

[Joe Rogan]

Eyeballs.

[Jamie Lee]

It was already on YouTube.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm totally happy with it.

[Joe Rogan]

Can you keep it on YouTube as well? Or you have to take it down. Hey, that's very.

[Mark Normand]

How many views did it have on YouTube?

[Joe Rogan]

Millions.

[Shane Gillis]

8 million.

[Joe Rogan]

8 million. It should have been 6. That would have been great.

[Mark Normand]

Shane at the Creek is like 50, 53.

[Joe Rogan]

That's insane.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. There's a Indian guy that broke the record in a week.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, put it up. And I. Somebody sent it to me. They're like, he broke rookie record in a week.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Jamie Lee]

55.

[Mark Normand]

Is it in Indian? Is it in Hindu?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Is it the canon languages?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, he's gone.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Crazy. So there's billions of them.

[Mark Normand]

But how do you know with. This is a thing with views these days, though? There's companies that will jack your views up.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, but sure, you got to pay for that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but you could pay for it, but you could get millions of views that way.

[Shane Gillis]

You can see the difference in like, we always do this when we talk about people who do it.

[Mark Normand]

Engagement.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, they're like. They're like 5 million views. 30 comments.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Joe Rogan]

And what is a view? How much of you do you have to watch for a view to.

[Shane Gillis]

I think it's just a click and click off counts view.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good question.

[Shane Gillis]

The best is when you send someone, like an agent or something, like a clip, you know, for them to see, and they go, we watch it. We're not happy with it. And you look at it like, still has zero views. Oh, it's a private clip.

[Mark Normand]

You definitely didn't watch it over there.

[Joe Rogan]

Or.

[Jamie Lee]

Or more embarrassing when someone sends you something like I just did, that guy sent me something and I've watched it 30 times.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh. Over and over.

[Jamie Lee]

And it's just me. And he's gonna see all the views are just me going, it's a private. That's so sick. Oh, that's so sick.

[Joe Rogan]

I feel bad for young comics. Everything is about views, shares, number of followers. How many followers do you have? It's not even about funny.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, I still think it is, though.

[Shane Gillis]

It is.

[Joe Rogan]

I think eventually the cream rises, but managers will literally be like, we gotta hire this guy.

[Jamie Lee]

They don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, yeah, it's kind of like the industry in general. They're like, how much money did your movie make? And then if they don't mind getting an Oscar nomination. But that's not what they're really in it for.

[Jamie Lee]

I just with the comics today being worried about you got to put out click or clips. You got to do that. It's like, sure, yeah. It's like do it.

[Joe Rogan]

But it's like build an act.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't know. I. Comedians always have excuses for why they're not successful, which is fine. I did the exact same thing. But they're all like, well, this guy.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

He's only got it because he put all those clips out and did all. It's like, I don't know, whatever works. Try to be funny and yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Who gives a why someone's doing well? Who gives a of a YouTuber selling out a comedy club? Who cares? It's about you.

[Joe Rogan]

What are you doing exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Just do your.

[Jamie Lee]

And I understand again, by the way. I understand.

[Mark Normand]

I love that thing that you did where you did that documentary showing all the leading up to Boulder. The new thing that you did.

[Joe Rogan]

Watch that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was great.

[Joe Rogan]

The markumentary. Thanks.

[Mark Normand]

It's great. And it's a great insight as to like the development of bits.

[Joe Rogan]

I really, really enjoy it. I wish you were my dad, by the way.

[Jamie Lee]

Your dad, Mark, I want you to know he told me that behind your back earlier.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Jamie Lee]

Me and him were just sitting out there. He's like, you see that thing? I was like, no, I'm not watching.

[Shane Gillis]

Mark.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's an hour long.

[Mark Normand]

It's really good.

[Shane Gillis]

On the way to the special.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I did a 10 sold out at the Dallas Improv and the special taped like a week or two later. So I was just tweaking and fine tuning and I filmed all the bombs and all.

[Mark Normand]

It's really great.

[Joe Rogan]

Cool.

[Mark Normand]

It's really great because it's like him and bodega going over the bits. Like reading, drinking coffee, reading over his lines and then tweaking it and changing them. Yeah, yeah. Hour and 12 minutes.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, not the gay. So yeah. Quote is relevant.

[Mark Normand]

Struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine cifis s

[Joe Rogan]

the boulder we're showing Boulder.

[Jamie Lee]

Did you do this?

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't do that part.

[Jamie Lee]

Who did?

[Mark Normand]

Albert Kus, the director.

[Jamie Lee]

Beat his ass.

[Mark Normand]

It is a little pretentious for what

[Joe Rogan]

this is a little bit. She thunderwear come back to earth. Yeah. Oh, God.

[Jamie Lee]

Mark.

[Shane Gillis]

Why?

[Jamie Lee]

You have a nice ass, you homo.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm clavicular.

[Mark Normand]

Why?

[Jamie Lee]

You have nice legs.

[Mark Normand]

He micro fractures his butt cheeks.

[Joe Rogan]

I was deadly hung over there.

[Mark Normand]

That's hilarious.

[Joe Rogan]

Just it out.

[Mark Normand]

But it's a great it's really great for comics to see, especially young guys coming up, like, what the process is like, you know, to see a guy like you who's been the game a long time is really good.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

See a bunch of specials already. See you bombing and tweaking and showing everybody the bits. Not working well and then working really well.

[Joe Rogan]

Thanks.

[Mark Normand]

I appreciate it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. There's this idea that everything's magic, like, their struggle. They're like, oh, okay.

[Joe Rogan]

Just trial and error. Like, I. How many times seen Louie Bomb? And you're like, this guy's the best ever. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Chris Rock used to come to the store, and the. The crowd would go nuts, and he would say, say, relax, it's not gonna be that funny.

[Joe Rogan]

Right, Right. Lower your.

[Mark Normand]

Because he was just running material and trying to find every possible angle and get laughs occasionally and sometimes not, and then tweak it afterwards.

[Joe Rogan]

Yep, yep. That's part of it. That's why Eddie Murphy can't come back, because I don't think he's willing to bomb.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't think he's willing to bomb,

[Joe Rogan]

you know, Six months.

[Shane Gillis]

Six months. It's years we've had this discussion on this podcast player, Kelly.

[Joe Rogan]

It's also.

[Mark Normand]

It's the velvet prison, the movies, the craft service, getting picked up in a limo. It's like the grind of writing your own material, putting it all together, everything riding on your back, like, that is a Warriors game, and some people don't want to do that anymore.

[Shane Gillis]

It's also like, you got to do a Tuesday at the stand where there's 19 people.

[Jamie Lee]

I also understand older comics back in the day not wanting to do it because movies were so much more lucrative.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Stand up is 10 times more lucrative. And it's like, dude, do stand up.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Like, just do stand.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, but stand up.

[Shane Gillis]

A couple people back then go, I would take a pay cut if I did a sitcom. And it was like, a couple people. And now it's like, kind of everybody.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You'd have to make Seinfeld money, like, season seven and beyond to go, I'll take off the road for this.

[Mark Normand]

And now there is no Seinfeld money. It doesn't exist.

[Joe Rogan]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Ms. Pat is the only person with a sitcom right now.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, what about this guy?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, that's.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you have Tires is different, though, because it's a single cam camera.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like, tires is like a show. It's a show. It's a great, funny show. But it's like, there's a difference between the. The thing that everybody wanted was the live audience. Four camera. You do it on NBC, cbs, you get residuals. That was like the golden carrot that they hung over your head.

[Joe Rogan]

Totally.

[Jamie Lee]

Stand up. Stand up. Couldn't pay.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, no.

[Mark Normand]

Nobody did anything but clubs back then. It was like Dice Clay. And then afterwards it was Dane Cook.

[Shane Gillis]

We saw a billboard of a poster, his things a museum. And a poster for evening at the Improv with him and Chris Rock.

[Joe Rogan]

Who's that?

[Shane Gillis]

David Spade.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, wow.

[Shane Gillis]

And I was there with Nate and. And he goes, you, you did like club for this. And he goes, bro, we only did clubs. None of us ever did theaters back then if we were really good. You do six days at a club.

[Joe Rogan]

But Carlin did theaters. Legends did theaters.

[Shane Gillis]

Dice did MSG once.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Steve Martin couple times.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Dice did MSG many times. He did Nassau Coliseum. Dice did. Dice was doing two nights in a row, actually places when no one was doing it. Dice was the original stadium act, but

[Shane Gillis]

then it was no one until Dane. Right. Between Dice and Dane there was nobody.

[Joe Rogan]

And now it's a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

And now people are playing at Des Moines. They're playing the arenas.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, it's not that many guys.

[Mark Normand]

I mean it's probably at least 20.

[Joe Rogan]

Comparing arenas.

[Shane Gillis]

Bargazi, Kevin Hart, Sebastian.

[Mark Normand]

Regularly, Hinchcliffe, Louie.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, hold on, fellas. Yeah, it's not diminish it.

[Shane Gillis]

Sebastian, Gabriel.

[Mark Normand]

Gabriel, Gabriel. Joe Coy, Giant.

[Joe Rogan]

So Coart.

[Mark Normand]

Matt R. Matt R. Giant Place, Sagura. Doing arenas.

[Shane Gillis]

I met a guy. I met a guy. I met an Indian kid outside New York comedy club.

[Jamie Lee]

Indian kids will do something.

[Shane Gillis]

And I was like, oh, what are you doing in town? He goes, doing comedy. He's like, oh, it's cool, man. What are you playing? And he goes, msg, that doesn't count. I was like, what?

[Joe Rogan]

Indians don't count?

[Jamie Lee]

Congratulations.

[Shane Gillis]

Indians count as much as Christian movies counts in the box office.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You'll be top 10 every time they're removal.

[Mark Normand]

That's hilarious.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. This Pro how? Probably 10, 10, 12, you know, 10 to 20 arenas. You see it on it or do

[Jamie Lee]

an arena every once in a while.

[Shane Gillis]

Rife looks.

[Joe Rogan]

Matt R. Doing a lot.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's a matter of whether you want to do arenas all the time.

[Shane Gillis]

The point is way more than no one between Dane and Dice.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Jamie Lee]

For sure.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jamie Lee]

Cuz comedy's so big now.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. And there's a ton of guys doing 1500 seaters.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Yeah, a lot of them. Oh, Schultz, I think, does arena. I don't know if he's regular oh,

[Mark Normand]

he does regular arena. Yeah, he does arenas regularly. Whenever he wants.

[Shane Gillis]

Whenever he wants.

[Mark Normand]

Bert.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, Tom.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there you go, Tony. There's a lot of people doing arenas

[Shane Gillis]

now, so mostly guys from my storytelling

[Joe Rogan]

show, which is also online behind a paywall.

[Shane Gillis]

These three guys are on it. Arena comic.

[Mark Normand]

Nice theater.

[Shane Gillis]

Comic club. Almost sells out Saturdays

[Jamie Lee]

because you're likable.

[Shane Gillis]

Tony, Nate who? We had a bunch. You, Tony, Nate, Tom. Four arena comics.

[Joe Rogan]

That's wild. The three private jets were at that show. That's insane. And we got paid 500 bucks.

[Shane Gillis]

I got a story. You could cut this out. You can cut this out if you want. Cut back in.

[Mark Normand]

And we're back.

[Joe Rogan]

We're back.

[Shane Gillis]

You should be mad. It was.

[Joe Rogan]

It stunk. I wouldn't want to do that. It stunk with that last.

[Mark Normand]

We need a transition. We need a transition.

[Joe Rogan]

Let's go back.

[Mark Normand]

911.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What? What does that sound?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Go, baby, go. Oh, look at the gay Ayatollah.

[Jamie Lee]

Freedom's the only way.

[Mark Normand]

Stretch of hormones.

[Jamie Lee]

Iran needs to understand. Freedom's the only way.

[Mark Normand]

Woo.

[Joe Rogan]

The regime.

[Jamie Lee]

We're coming back, brother.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

We're bombing everybody, brother. We need to bomb everybody. Healthcare and homeless people, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm tell you, I met so many on America when I was traveling. It made me more nationalistic.

[Jamie Lee]

I couldn't agree more. If I go to another country and somebody's like, ah, you guys are mad about. I go, dude, you guys are doing nothing.

[Shane Gillis]

Me and you, we need health care. We're doing. We're up. And somebody's like, why don't you guys have health care? Like, why don't you shut your mouth?

[Jamie Lee]

We have stealth bombers.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. All the Australians, like, you treat your minorities bad. I'm like, you wiped yours out.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes. We have football. Blow me.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. We have college football. We have college points.

[Mark Normand]

Solid points by everyone.

[Jamie Lee]

Once you got go to another country, that's when you go, yeah. Why don't you guys shut up?

[Mark Normand]

Who's number two with standup comedy? What country's number two?

[Joe Rogan]

England.

[Shane Gillis]

England.

[Joe Rogan]

England. Oh, sure.

[Mark Normand]

Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr. Those are two greats.

[Joe Rogan]

Car is great.

[Mark Normand]

Car is a national, international great. Car is the best.

[Shane Gillis]

Stuart Lee.

[Mark Normand]

Car is so good.

[Shane Gillis]

Car's great.

[Mark Normand]

He was so good. He performed at the mothership. He's running all his new jokes. I was like, this guy is a dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Great writer.

[Shane Gillis]

Just dominant and so calm.

[Mark Normand]

So smart, man. Such a smart dude.

[Jamie Lee]

Brusque. I'd to love, like to get involved with.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you looking for this time? Glass or can.

[Jamie Lee]

I would never waste a glass on a bong.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane. Shane, you haven't changed at all.

[Jamie Lee]

I wish I could, brother. It's time to change.

[Mark Normand]

You don't want to change. I haven't changed.

[Jamie Lee]

You have not.

[Mark Normand]

I don't think I have.

[Joe Rogan]

You can't go out as much.

[Jamie Lee]

You did change very little. You change. You change.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you change in un. Un. Unimportant ways. You're more into hunting.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

But, like, it's not like archery different.

[Mark Normand]

But that, to me is like. Like my way of staying sane.

[Shane Gillis]

No, you just got.

[Mark Normand]

I do a bunch of things like pool, archery, martial arts. Those things just keep me sane. I have to do some things that keep me from going off the rails.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And staying off of Twitter.

[Shane Gillis]

Didn't you have a thing.

[Jamie Lee]

That's a big one.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah. You have a thing where your manager or business manager. One of them was like, hey, Joe, we got. When you just start headlining, correct me, I'm wrong. We're like, we got to have a talk with you. And you're like, what's the matter? And they're like, buddy, we. We don't want to get this out of hand. We. We know you have a game gambling addiction, and we want to get you help. And you're like, what do you mean? Like, you're blowing through money in a way. And he goes, no, I just love lobster and steak.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I was eating steak and lobster. That's my first. My first. My manager thought that I had a gambling problem because I was spending so much money. I'm like, bro, I'm eating steak and lobster every night. And he's like, you're not worried at all you're gonna run out of money? I'll go, I'll make more money. We'll figure it out.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm like, once we made it, once

[Mark Normand]

we get in the gate, like, I. I'm one of those people that, like, if I figured out how to get in the gate, I'm going, I'm gonna keep my foot on the gas. I. I'll be fine.

[Shane Gillis]

Joe, you brought so many openers with you that we made more money than you. But we did the math once. Like, he's barely making more than us.

[Mark Normand]

But it was about fun.

[Shane Gillis]

It was so fun.

[Mark Normand]

It has to be about fun, because I did gigs with, like, local guys, and some of them were great. Like, that's how I got to meet Sagura.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, I met a bunch of guys who became my friends that were, like, local guys, but it Was like one out of ten. And that means nine times I'm in a town bored, watching tv, not enjoying myself and then being.

[Jamie Lee]

Sometimes they're mean.

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes they. They step on your material. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And sometimes the nagging thing a woman will do where she's like, they'll like on you on purpose. Like, I don't know you, that I'm trying to be nice to you.

[Mark Normand]

Well, there's a lot of weirdness because you're the headliner and they're jealous and they think they should be the headliner.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Go do local material. And you're like, all right.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, buddy.

[Mark Normand]

There a lot.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, you should do this. Hey, let's switch tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, you go on last.

[Mark Normand]

But the gigs were always a party. We had fun. Everywhere we went, we had fun.

[Joe Rogan]

Fun is key. Like, I'll do number one. And you make what, $17? Yeah, but you know, I have friends like, ah, you make no money. I'm like, it's fun. It's a great weekend.

[Mark Normand]

I'm trying to explain this to guys. One of Tony's agents was trying to pitch this horrible idea. Not even Tony's agent. Someone was trying to pitch this horrible idea where Tony would take a percentage of everybody's podcast that was on Kill Tony. He was like, no way. Like, even. And. And I was like, that money, if you got it from them, you wouldn't. It wouldn't change the way you feel. You would feel the same. You wouldn't. You wouldn't say, I feel so much better now that I have X more dollars in the bank. But you would feel like a piece of. Because you were people over. It's. You would pay all that money back. Plus to not feel that.

[Shane Gillis]

To not feel bad.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You give it all back.

[Mark Normand]

You would do not be a piece of.

[Jamie Lee]

It's like, there's nothing better than helping your buddies.

[Mark Normand]

Nothing better.

[Jamie Lee]

Kind of the only nice thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane, everybody. Shane pays people on the road out of spite.

[Joe Rogan]

What do you mean?

[Shane Gillis]

Like, Lev was talking dumb. He was so. Couldn't get out of his own fat way. And he goes, no, clubs are better than readers. You're crazy. And Shane's like, you've never done an arena. He goes, dude. He's like, I know what I'm talking about. Out of spite. He goes, I'm going to give you a lot of cash to come over for me on the road. And Lev's like, arenas are better and I paid my rent for the year.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, those shows, your crowds are great. Those shows are so fun. You do 15 to 20 and just play the hits. It's a great time.

[Mark Normand]

Fun is fun. Fun is fun. Everywhere you go you're play Xbox with

[Jamie Lee]

a bunch of guys from the NHL.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Crazy zero.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't think I've had a woman in my green room. It's just 15 dudes.

[Joe Rogan]

We're trying to have a good time for playing Xbox.

[Shane Gillis]

You can see the guy who owns arena so disappointed too. They come in thinking it's going to be cool because stand up is cool now. And they come in, it's me, Soda and Shane playing some fucking video game. It just smells like body odor. And they're just like.

[Joe Rogan]

And there's chicken nuggets in the rider.

[Jamie Lee]

So my rider's chicken tenders in a case of beer.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Second worst pizza in town. And bring it.

[Joe Rogan]

But that video game you play brings everybody in. It's a great ice break breaker. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

It's the hangout afterwards. I had so many memories of us, like some town and just going to anybody in the street. Like, is there a place to eat around here? Like, wow, it's a photo chow. It was like, what?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, well, all you need is us like in a green room. Sometimes I'm like, I don't even want to go to the bar. This is the best.

[Mark Normand]

The hangs, everything.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. At the mothership. And it's like whenever it's like we're going under Mitzi's, I'm like, yeah, this is a great.

[Joe Rogan]

This is right here.

[Mark Normand]

We got liquor.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

But Mitzi's once. Once a clears out is perfect.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, once the. The regular people are out.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Once the. Once the crowd leaves.

[Mark Normand]

That's the cool thing about Mitzi is it becomes a private club after 11. Yeah, that's nice.

[Shane Gillis]

Always lose my voice in there, though.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, same. Well, Tony's chain smoking.

[Mark Normand]

Like a chain smoking. Everybody's drinking. There's great music playing.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll tell you, Tony needs a cigarette extender.

[Joe Rogan]

Virginia slip.

[Mark Normand]

His ability to write roast jokes is extraordinary. Yeah, it's very weird.

[Shane Gillis]

I gave him angle yesterday on the. On the.

[Joe Rogan]

Can we say what is he on the road?

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, yeah, I think.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I just gave him. I was like, what about this? He goes, oh. I'm like, something like this. He goes, yeah, but wittier than that. Yes.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah. I don't know how to write it. Yes. Well, as soon as you got like, they're there.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Now you do.

[Jamie Lee]

Your jokes are there.

[Mark Normand]

He thinks in like that kind of joke, like roast joke form like that's how, like, he's so fat. He, like. That's how his mind works. It's really fun to watch. It's like, I. Because I don't. That muscle's a different muscle.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a different muscle.

[Shane Gillis]

Both your guys was good yesterday.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm.

[Shane Gillis]

It was funny watching them do a. Gonna be a massive thing ahead of

[Joe Rogan]

time for a crowd.

[Shane Gillis]

The crowds are like, this is so cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, it's cool because they get to see. It worked out. They're gonna get to see it live, right?

[Shane Gillis]

And you get to see people go,

[Joe Rogan]

the jokes are good.

[Shane Gillis]

Not on that one.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm very happy with the jokes.

[Joe Rogan]

And you're going out cold, right? You got to open it. Yeah, that's tough.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm worried about. I don't think I'm a good host as far as the.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, everybody.

[Jamie Lee]

We're on live on Netflix. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that. I'm going to go, all right. That just be my joke.

[Mark Normand]

It don't matter. Once you start talking, it's all good, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

There's a video I saw, Waylon Jennings Jr. I think it was him. And they're doing a. Like, a roast, like a barbecue. And they're like, we're here waiting for him to show up, but he's been barbecuing into this thing for last, you know, 14 hours. And then they come in, some ladies, like, interviewing me, like, so, we're ready for your roast. He goes, oh, that's not mine. He was like, no. And she was like, what do you mean, no? That's the TV thing. No, mine would be underground, and we'd have, like, moonshine. And she goes, for the base thing. No. For fun. While we're waiting for the meat to come out. Yeah, he just, like, ruined the TV version of it. He's like, no, that's a lie.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I got kicked off a last comic standing for that. Because they put you in a room, and they're like, they want you to have drama. They're like, what do you think? Who are you going to beat? And I'm like, I'm probably going to lose. And they're like, no, no, you got to, like, talk. I'm like, oh, they don't want me on here. I'm going to bomb. And they're like, what are you doing? You're ruining the show. They want you to be like, that guy.

[Mark Normand]

I'm going to take him down.

[Shane Gillis]

Just say, hey, guys. What? Anyway, we know what this. I don't know how you would do it. That's a tough part.

[Jamie Lee]

I'll do it.

[Shane Gillis]

That's a hard part.

[Jamie Lee]

I'll do it. There's just a couple jokes that I'm like, I know they're funny, but it's like, man, that's going to be tough to tell publicly.

[Shane Gillis]

You had. You had a couple jokes in there that were like. You can hear the reaction of, like,

[Jamie Lee]

laughter or like, oh, yeah, that's a mothership crowd.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jamie Lee]

That's a bunch of people that are like, I paid good money to see somebody be racist tonight, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

Calm down.

[Joe Rogan]

The black jokes go hard.

[Shane Gillis]

The black jokes go hard.

[Jamie Lee]

They do.

[Joe Rogan]

But, hey, you know, it's a rose. This is.

[Shane Gillis]

This is what we.

[Joe Rogan]

This is what we want to see.

[Jamie Lee]

I know, but I gotta go first.

[Joe Rogan]

That's true.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. The MC and stuff, because you haven't emceed in forever.

[Joe Rogan]

But is. Is Kevin Hart be there?

[Jamie Lee]

I've never done anything but, like, when

[Joe Rogan]

he's on, when he's out, if he's

[Mark Normand]

out, he has to be there.

[Joe Rogan]

If he's laughing, you're golden.

[Shane Gillis]

He'll laugh.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he'll laugh at.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. So the black jokes with the black guy laughing, You're. You're good to go.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, I'm not. It's more the Internet.

[Shane Gillis]

How you guys doing?

[Mark Normand]

The crowd. Oh, because it's in la.

[Jamie Lee]

I am going to be. It's going to be live, and I'm going to say some pretty offensive things, and then I'm going to have to stay in the pocket of being like, I know the people at home like this.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes.

[Jamie Lee]

But now an entire room of famous people don't like me.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Dude, I know they're going to kill.

[Jamie Lee]

On paper, it sounds easy.

[Joe Rogan]

I get it. I get it, bro.

[Shane Gillis]

I know people in the wnba, like, people that work in, like, management and the. And the. And the players. And I was going to war over your ESPYS thing. Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

What were they saying? They were.

[Shane Gillis]

They were not happy with it at all.

[Jamie Lee]

They seem, like.

[Shane Gillis]

Not happy with it.

[Jamie Lee]

They seem like a grumpy bunch anyway.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Not happy with. They go, you got to know you're playing for. And I was like, right to me at home watching. Yeah. And they go, that's not. We're the audience. I'm like, no, you're in the. In the room. We're all at home laughing. And we thought it was hilarious. Like, she didn't even know this lady. Tame. It was like, well, that's the point.

[Joe Rogan]

Neither did they. But The. The ESP was a good training ground.

[Jamie Lee]

I was nervous and awkward on that.

[Joe Rogan]

No, but it got 10 million views or whatever. It's for the Internet.

[Shane Gillis]

Anyway.

[Mark Normand]

America, the day.

[Joe Rogan]

What night is the roast? Just so I don't.

[Shane Gillis]

Sunday.

[Jamie Lee]

Sunday.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, I want to.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm going.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Jamie Lee]

Where you at?

[Shane Gillis]

First one.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm getting the There. Tuesday.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, no.

[Mark Normand]

Why don't you go there early? What do you.

[Jamie Lee]

I get there Sunday, and then it's the 10th. It's the next Sunday.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Joe Rogan]

I think I have a gig.

[Shane Gillis]

Me and Lewis got matching Legion of Skanks outfits.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, you're on the team now.

[Mark Normand]

You're a member of the Legion with Jay. Does this stop you from moving to uk?

[Shane Gillis]

Unfortunately, it does.

[Jamie Lee]

Good.

[Mark Normand]

Those lines. Not even unfortunately.

[Shane Gillis]

This is a massive opportunity for me creatively. This is like a dream. You've been going for the Mossad plant to got out of there.

[Joe Rogan]

The massage.

[Shane Gillis]

So I was like, ooh, yeah, maybe I'll stop.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, it'll be fun.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you have to going to England. They're gonna stab you anyway.

[Joe Rogan]

You left enough. That's true.

[Shane Gillis]

Those stabbies, they do get stabby over shooting.

[Jamie Lee]

Getting stabbed would blow dick.

[Joe Rogan]

You're right there with the guy too. At least a gunshot.

[Shane Gillis]

Gunshot could be like, where did this even come from?

[Joe Rogan]

Some distance.

[Shane Gillis]

He's like, I know it's you.

[Mark Normand]

I hate you.

[Joe Rogan]

Right? Yeah. Anyway, you're better off.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you're better off. I think it's good. It's divine.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, nothing's better off than skanks.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, there you go. It's. What was it, 15 years running?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

This is perfect for you, Ari.

[Shane Gillis]

It's. It's my show.

[Mark Normand]

England's not perfect for you, Vice President.

[Joe Rogan]

Although it's weird seeing you tied down to something.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it is.

[Joe Rogan]

I've never seen you got to do

[Mark Normand]

it once a week.

[Shane Gillis]

When Shane and I ran for president. Vice president. We'll get into another episode, but it was the log line was until one of us betrays the other. Until one of us double crosses the other one.

[Jamie Lee]

We didn't.

[Shane Gillis]

We didn't. Only because you found out Lewis was gonna with me and you double crossed him.

[Jamie Lee]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, that was nice.

[Jamie Lee]

Of course my presence goes down like that. I'm J.D.

[Mark Normand]

vance, bro.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm Vance.

[Shane Gillis]

Underrated. Something that happened in Covid is Shane. We're like, we're making it.

[Jamie Lee]

You guys were making the biggest mistake immediately.

[Shane Gillis]

I was so mad. There was a video going around of. Of all these stars singing some like Beatles song.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Imagine there's no heaven.

[Shane Gillis]

So Lewis's idea was like, let's do something making fun of it.

[Jamie Lee]

We'll all sing it down with the sickness and we'll make a video. And I was like, oh, I'll. I'll edit it.

[Shane Gillis]

So we just gotta.

[Jamie Lee]

But I need every single one of you to sing the full song, and I can choose, and then I'll pick, and then I just have a full video of every single one of these dumbasses singing that song. And I was like, first off, the idea was not funny. That gay. I will not.

[Shane Gillis]

I was doing it as a favor to Louis. I was like, if you think this is good. And then Shane. Shane called me, goes, how. How bad will your retaliation be if I release your video?

[Jamie Lee]

I was like, dude, I didn't put anyone's videos.

[Shane Gillis]

I was like, bro, send it to J. A comedian. You should do it. I will scorch the earth to get.

[Mark Normand]

Send Aries to Jamie right now. Do you have it categorized?

[Jamie Lee]

And I category kept trying to, like. Like, it was hard to make sure they did it seriously. So I was like, no. Like, don't around. It would be funnier if you guys are, like, really singing as best you can. You around in yours.

[Shane Gillis]

I did. Oh, thank God.

[Jamie Lee]

But I mean, it's still a horrific

[Mark Normand]

video, that whole thing. Imagine there's no heaven while granny just died of COVID Also, it's like, this is.

[Shane Gillis]

This is like. It's a war. A war song. Yeah, it's a war and religion song.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What are we doing?

[Mark Normand]

Very. There was a very strange time where people just got into smelling their own farts.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, well, the COVID hidden actors had no juice anymore. They were like, oh, we gotta stand out.

[Shane Gillis]

Please don't. Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

The real one. The one that Imagine video. I can't watch this throwing it up

[Shane Gillis]

for you guys to see. Actors really made themselves worthless.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I can't.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, we can't sing it. The Beatles are probably Sarah Silverman being all serious.

[Shane Gillis]

She's like, what stars are in this? I'll do it. Oh, she was being joked.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know who that is.

[Shane Gillis]

Who is that? Timothy Chalamet.

[Mark Normand]

What's wrong with his teeth?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Fallon.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Fallon.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, he's opener now. You can kind of hear it.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, man. This is worse than being, like, on Epstein's eye.

[Shane Gillis]

Get an iPhone. Clamp.

[Mark Normand]

God, actors.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So weird.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they're not as important as they used to be, so they're like, oh, this will be relevant.

[Shane Gillis]

They were like, I'm not getting attention. Let's just do it ourselves. And you're like, you guys can't do this.

[Joe Rogan]

The worst was the black and white one when they're like, I am ashamed of my whiteness.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

That wasn't even a song. That was talking the black and white.

[Mark Normand]

The blm doing the bl. Blm. Br.

[Jamie Lee]

There's so many good ones. You do so good.

[Mark Normand]

I got are going send that to Jamie right now. Send that to Jamie right now.

[Joe Rogan]

Derosa will get sincere.

[Shane Gillis]

Derosa gets sincere. Especially when he's drunk. Dude, you're such a good friend.

[Mark Normand]

I'm like, shut up.

[Joe Rogan]

You're adopted. Shut up.

[Shane Gillis]

Shut up. I would never be friends with an adopted guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you Egyptian weirdo.

[Jamie Lee]

Everybody was like trying to be silly, but the bit sucked so bad.

[Shane Gillis]

So bad.

[Jamie Lee]

I was so happy when you guys were doing. I was at Stanhopes when this was going on.

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't even get the bit drunk. It's there.

[Jamie Lee]

You guys saw. You killed us were hammered. You killed these dudes. Suck that blue dude. I can't believe you guys did that.

[Shane Gillis]

How much you got left in there?

[Mark Normand]

It's such a weird thing where people decide to do things to make themselves look like they care.

[Shane Gillis]

Look like they care. Yeah. That's the thing about Hollywood. They want to look like they care.

[Mark Normand]

And it's so transparent.

[Joe Rogan]

That's always a bummer. You get that text like, hey, can you make a video for this? I'm like, like, ah, it's going to ruin my whole day. Cuz you, like, have to think about it and spend time on it. Yeah, it's a nightmare.

[Mark Normand]

Change your number.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, like, can you help me with this?

[Mark Normand]

You get. You get one or two of those. Change your number.

[Joe Rogan]

There we go. Jojo Rabbit.

[Mark Normand]

Music, please.

[Shane Gillis]

Music, please.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, it's going to be cold.

[Joe Rogan]

Woo. He's back, baby. I

[Jamie Lee]

mushrooms. Yeah. Congrats. Congrats on the Ivy game, bro. That's sick, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

That is such a win. That is such a gigantic win. They're hoping to reschedule generates.

[Mark Normand]

They're going to reschedule the psychedelics and have them available to people. But what's interesting is that all this was done during the Nixon administration to squash the civil rights movement. Civil rights movement and the anti war movement.

[Shane Gillis]

Lots of people don't even like mushrooms.

[Mark Normand]

And that was also one of the things that I got to say. This is one of the things that I got to say during the whole Trump thing.

[Shane Gillis]

You said black.

[Mark Normand]

I said, no,

[Jamie Lee]

black people don't Like

[Mark Normand]

I said, they love certain foods, but you can't bring them up. I, I said these things weren't made illegal. It was like, because it was all live. They couldn't stop me from saying it and Trump just let me talk. So I said, these aren't illegal because they're harmful. They're illegal because of the sweeping Controlled Substances act of the 1970s and the Richard Nixon administration to target the civil rights movement, the, the anti war movement. That's why they made them illegal. They're not illegal because they're harmful. And the idea that they were schedule one for all these years with so many people using them to quit smoking, to quit drinking, to quit drugs, to get their life together, to like relax before they're dying. Like so many people that are like filled with anxiety because they're dying of cancer, they take mushrooms and they're like, I think I'm gonna be okay.

[Joe Rogan]

Can you get up on ibogaine?

[Mark Normand]

No, it's not recreational at all. Oh, it's bad. It's a bad experience.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's not like a fun time,

[Mark Normand]

but it's, it's neuro rejection. Like, it, it helps people that have, like Rick Perry, the, the governor, he had some sort of like natural atrophy of his brain that happens when you get older. Within six weeks or so after doing it, 25 of the atrophy was gone. Six months later, 100 of it was gone. Yes, it's nuts. It's. It's very positive, but a bad feeling when you're doing it.

[Shane Gillis]

Who is this Perry?

[Mark Normand]

Rick Perry, the former governor of Texas. Republican governor, who is a staunch anti drug guy who his whole life. And then he talked to all these veterans that were using it to get off of whatever opiates they were.

[Shane Gillis]

Let me try it. Yeah, in secret. Let me try it in secret.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know if it was. Let me try it in secret because he was open about talking about it and he did it and he said it changed his life too. And he says, this is my life now. I'm dedicated to trying to make this stuff legal.

[Joe Rogan]

So it's kind of like Ozempic. It makes you stop doing stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Well, Ozempic is weird because it does make you stop doing addictive things too.

[Joe Rogan]

It does.

[Shane Gillis]

But it cuts on your sex drive too.

[Mark Normand]

It cuts, Cuts down love. Like you don't get excited about stuff.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

People are saying it keeps you from being passionate about heavy.

[Joe Rogan]

Cuts down love.

[Mark Normand]

It's just weird when you see. We were talking about that lady some of these hot actresses that are doing it and they don't need to do it.

[Shane Gillis]

Stop drinking.

[Jamie Lee]

Be fat and horny.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that's a good radio team. Fat and horny in the morning.

[Mark Normand]

It's also. Girls don't realize, like, a little bit of fat on them is hot.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Little jiggle.

[Mark Normand]

When girls are like 10 pounds overweight, it's like, would they think they're overweight?

[Joe Rogan]

Like, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Especially if they're cut.

[Mark Normand]

Confident with it just gives them curves.

[Joe Rogan]

Rachel. Sexy.

[Mark Normand]

When you. When they lose all that weight and get that oic face, it's like, what are you doing?

[Joe Rogan]

Pull up Olivia Wild. You see her? She looks like.

[Mark Normand]

Just talking before you got here.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, man.

[Joe Rogan]

Pull up her. And a lemur. It's dead. The eyes. It's dead on.

[Shane Gillis]

Who's Olivia Wild?

[Mark Normand]

She's really beautiful.

[Joe Rogan]

Gorgeous.

[Jamie Lee]

She's.

[Mark Normand]

No, she was never fat fat at all, man. But she's been.

[Joe Rogan]

Look how hot. Look how hot. Gorgeous.

[Mark Normand]

But now look at the most recent video of her where. Yeah, look at that.

[Joe Rogan]

Now pull up a ringtail lemur, if you can find one.

[Jamie Lee]

I know exactly what a lemur looks like, bro.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a cute little. Little nugget. Look at that.

[Jamie Lee]

Same eyes.

[Joe Rogan]

Same eyes.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, what happened to her? Did she just hit the wall?

[Mark Normand]

There's no way she just hit the wall. She's. She's still fairly young.

[Shane Gillis]

How old is she?

[Mark Normand]

And she was really hot. She was on A. Some 42.

[Shane Gillis]

She was in house at 2007. She's older. She's 20 years older than she was on House.

[Joe Rogan]

House.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But, dude, recently she looked really hot also.

[Jamie Lee]

She's gorgeous.

[Joe Rogan]

Gorgeous.

[Mark Normand]

No, it's. I don't think it's the wall, dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Her real name's Cockburn. That's funny.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, but does anybody know if she's taking that stuff?

[Joe Rogan]

No, I don't think so.

[Shane Gillis]

That's not even ob zic. That's the eyes. That's a different thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at the giant eyeballs. I don't want to. The lady.

[Shane Gillis]

She's still epic.

[Joe Rogan]

It's still fun.

[Mark Normand]

But I think it's a little bit of it is just like, just women have this thing where they think they're supposed to be skinny.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, 42.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they are.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but dude, 42. Look at. Look at what's her name? Jennifer Lopez.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at outliers.

[Mark Normand]

She's hot as.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, that's a Puerto Rican.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, look at LeBron. But everybody else, it goes out at 38.

[Jamie Lee]

Could you hand me One of those bruskies.

[Shane Gillis]

Absolutely, buddy. What are you looking for?

[Jamie Lee]

A bottle.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey. Bottle.

[Mark Normand]

It's just sad that so many of these women think that they have to be wasteful.

[Joe Rogan]

Look, that go. I think it's just a bad picture. Bad night or something.

[Mark Normand]

Bad January.

[Jamie Lee]

I thought that was a great picture.

[Mark Normand]

She's still beautiful. And she doesn't even look remotely overweight.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, Seth Rogen looks like a troll next to her.

[Joe Rogan]

That's from two weeks ago. Two weeks? Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, no, that's just fine.

[Mark Normand]

That was what might have been very bad video.

[Jamie Lee]

Let's leave,

[Shane Gillis]

lady. I was wrong. You didn't hit the wall at all.

[Jamie Lee]

You know what I like is the big fat guys that need the oic.

[Shane Gillis]

Need it.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I like that.

[Mark Normand]

My friend, he's on the fat pill.

[Jamie Lee]

Some of them defeated.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I know. A guy we know. I didn't want to say plowed right through.

[Mark Normand]

How did he do that?

[Joe Rogan]

He keeps eating.

[Shane Gillis]

He has habits. Dude, we were doing the 999.

[Jamie Lee]

He, he.

[Shane Gillis]

We were three hot dogs in. We had nine hot dogs, nine beers and nine innings. And by the way, pitch clock. So it's way harder than when it was invented.

[Jamie Lee]

Although we did get there early. We got there o. Conor had seven hot dogs before the national anthem.

[Shane Gillis]

Unbelievable. Like, what's your strategy? I'm going to just chug these hot dogs. Chug hot dogs. Passed out till the six woke up

[Jamie Lee]

and said, wake him up in the night to be like, dude, you're doing away. You got to get it. He got it. He was like, I'm a champion.

[Joe Rogan]

It's the bread. The salt gets you.

[Mark Normand]

Disgusting.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but H. Foley, three hot dogs in you look over, he's eating a cheese steak, he's getting other grub.

[Jamie Lee]

He's eating. What are you doing?

[Shane Gillis]

And he goes, I want. I don't think I'll win.

[Mark Normand]

I don't care how full I am. If you put a cheese steak in front of me eating that, it's like, there's a new place in Austin. There's a food truck that Tony turned me out to that has cheese steaks. They are. What is that place, Jamie?

[Joe Rogan]

Do you know the place?

[Mark Normand]

Do you know what it is, Jamie?

[Shane Gillis]

Don't say it. We'll never get in again.

[Mark Normand]

What's that?

[Joe Rogan]

No, not at all.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, I. I think I saw it on Seamless.

[Jamie Lee]

I almost got it.

[Mark Normand]

So legit.

[Joe Rogan]

Is it on 6 Street? Cuz the food's sucks over there.

[Shane Gillis]

Food sucks on six?

[Mark Normand]

It's a weird spot because it used to be the Dirty Six. It was all just, like, drunk people food still. They didn't have to be good still.

[Shane Gillis]

It's getting worse, dude, but you got black rabbit.

[Jamie Lee]

That's it.

[Mark Normand]

But there's a Fogo de Chow a block away.

[Jamie Lee]

I think it might be R and B.

[Mark Normand]

There's a Fogo de Chow block away from the club.

[Shane Gillis]

Where?

[Joe Rogan]

It's.

[Mark Normand]

It's down the street.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, it's R and B.

[Mark Normand]

It's on, like, 2nd Congress or 3rd.

[Joe Rogan]

I've never. What is.

[Mark Normand]

It's on Congress. So it's two blocks away.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, but it's not 36. It's way off.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right, but. But it's. It's not far.

[Shane Gillis]

It's still downtown.

[Mark Normand]

These are the guys. These are the guys.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm going there tonight.

[Mark Normand]

So what is it? What's the name of it? R B. R B. R B. Steak and fries. Bro, I'm telling you, they're cheesesteaks. These guys brought them to the. The club, and I was like. And Tony's like, dude, you got to try this. I was like, I'm not. I'm not really hungry. Hungry. But let me. I start one bite, and I scarfed it. I scarfed it.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, they got that. Sauteed onions.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it's so good, dude. It's so good. These guys are so. And they're cool dudes. Very, very, very legit.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, go back up. I want to see his nickname.

[Joe Rogan]

Boo. Boo.

[Shane Gillis]

Boo. Black guys rule.

[Joe Rogan]

Boo Radley, man.

[Jamie Lee]

It's almost time for Jeremiah Love. Highlights.

[Joe Rogan]

Easy.

[Jamie Lee]

It's almost time, dude.

[Mark Normand]

It's Jeremiah Love. Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Who that is?

[Mark Normand]

I love that you're asking. What are we talking about here?

[Shane Gillis]

Is that politics?

[Jamie Lee]

No, no.

[Mark Normand]

Football sounds like running back. Jeremiah Love sounds like a football player.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, he certainly is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. If he was a fighter, he probably quit in the third round. I don't know with that name if

[Jamie Lee]

he had autism or. I think he does. He's got at least ocd. But they. They did a nice doc, like a. Before the game, they always, like, college game day. Always runs like a heartwarming story. But he had, like, autism as a kid, and they were like, we don't know what to do. And then we got him in football, and he was just a animal. Oh, wow. He's just so fast.

[Mark Normand]

Look at him go.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at.

[Jamie Lee]

Looking at his own sideline.

[Mark Normand]

Dude. Autism is a superpower.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you just got to channel it.

[Mark Normand]

Tell me about it. Speak on it.

[Joe Rogan]

You got to find a piano or

[Mark Normand]

comedy I can speak about. Neanderthal genes. You can speak about autism.

[Shane Gillis]

These guys are tackling wrong.

[Mark Normand]

Look at him go, dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Try to catch a guy that runs out.

[Jamie Lee]

Why do you see him jumping over people?

[Shane Gillis]

These guys are tackling.

[Joe Rogan]

He's like the correspondence shooter.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, Jamie, who is that guy that they just signed from Africa? He's a 21 year old guy who's never played football before.

[Jamie Lee]

Philly did. Yeah, he's with the Eagles.

[Mark Normand]

Football.

[Shane Gillis]

Football does that. Where you're like. As long as you got. As long as you got the skills, we got you.

[Joe Rogan]

That was a nice.

[Jamie Lee]

Keep this rolling for a second.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at. Got a move. What a wiggle.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my goodness.

[Shane Gillis]

All they got to do to tackle him is look him directly in the eyes.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, why?

[Shane Gillis]

Cuz autism cakes.

[Jamie Lee]

That the.

[Mark Normand]

Is that real?

[Shane Gillis]

You're looking autistic guy in the eyes.

[Mark Normand]

He will look at you back, though. He's going to work if he doesn't look at you back.

[Joe Rogan]

He's just dodging. Do you hate hugs?

[Jamie Lee]

He's dodging a.

[Joe Rogan]

Hate a hug, bro.

[Mark Normand]

He.

[Joe Rogan]

Get away from.

[Shane Gillis]

Get him, get him, get him.

[Mark Normand]

Take him down

[Jamie Lee]

right in the lips.

[Shane Gillis]

He got tongue in there. For the listeners.

[Joe Rogan]

Salt, brother.

[Jamie Lee]

You should sue Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

I might sue.

[Mark Normand]

His whole body was vibrating when I was hugging him.

[Joe Rogan]

Good Lord, that's. Aw, man.

[Jamie Lee]

How sick is J Touching, bro?

[Mark Normand]

That's. I love a great athlete.

[Jamie Lee]

Show him. Show Joe him jumping over some people.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, what are you boys doing next weekend?

[Joe Rogan]

I think I got a gig.

[Jamie Lee]

What do you got next week?

[Shane Gillis]

Is a roast next Saturday.

[Mark Normand]

Next Saturday?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. Netflix festival.

[Jamie Lee]

TD Garden in Boston.

[Shane Gillis]

What are you doing?

[Mark Normand]

Ufc. UFC in New Jersey. Sean Strickland. Hamza Chamayev, bro.

[Joe Rogan]

They.

[Mark Normand]

They don't even have a face off. They're worried about putting them close to each other because Sean has talked so much.

[Joe Rogan]

He's a wild dude.

[Mark Normand]

He's a wild dude. And that talking that he does, it's emotional warfare because, like, you'll think about the. He calls him a goat. He won't stop talking.

[Joe Rogan]

No filter.

[Mark Normand]

Sean str. He said if those three go, he comes up to me with three of his goats. He says, Sean was like, I'll shoot them. I'll pull out my gun. I'll shoot all three of them. He's going like this, boom, boom, boom.

[Joe Rogan]

Jesus.

[Mark Normand]

He's talking so much. But that. It's emotional warfare. It's like what Connor used to do. What Connor did with Jose Aldo. He had him so up before that fight.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He was just like, so. Because Aldo was Old legend. Nobody talked about him. Everybody was terrified of. And Conor was just constantly talking about him. Stole his belt at a press conference and like, was holding it up. And by the time the fight happened, Aldo was just so worked up and Conor was just like super relaxed and smiling.

[Joe Rogan]

That's how Roberto Duran beat Robinson, because he called his wife a horrible.

[Mark Normand]

Who's Robinson?

[Shane Gillis]

Sugar Ray.

[Mark Normand]

No, Leonard. No.

[Jamie Lee]

Leonard.

[Joe Rogan]

Leonard. Sorry, wrong sugar.

[Mark Normand]

Dare you.

[Joe Rogan]

It was the band.

[Mark Normand]

He talked Sugar Ray into fighting him. His kind of fight. He like, literally.

[Jamie Lee]

Do you think Strickland can do that?

[Mark Normand]

No, Strickland is a.

[Joe Rogan]

He's good, but he's.

[Mark Normand]

Strickland is one of the best fighters on planet Earth. No mistake about so is Hamza, But Strickland is also a legitimate world champion. He's a guy who's accustomed to five rounders. He's got phenomenal cardio. He's one of the hardest guys to hit in the sport. You have a can.

[Jamie Lee]

Can he?

[Mark Normand]

100%. He has underrated grappling me as an expert. He's allegedly. He's one of the best takedown. He's got some of the best takedown defense in the game. Underrated grappling. Strickland has a legit chance.

[Shane Gillis]

Can I. Can I just say this as someone who's heard you talk about this kind of stuff for many, many years, you give it up more for the person you think is not going to win. Oh, interesting. Cuz you didn't say H's up in this, you just said, no, no, no. I will tell you a lot about unreal, so you go, but don't. Don't count out the underdog.

[Mark Normand]

No, I'll say that eventually if you give me a chance. You blabber, you stop talking. Jesus, you stopped.

[Shane Gillis]

You already made your point.

[Mark Normand]

100 can win.

[Shane Gillis]

He.

[Mark Normand]

Look, he dominated Drekus. Duplicity like he didn't even belong in there.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

And Drickus was the world champion and Dris had beaten strong Sean Strickland. But the last time he beat Strickland, in the second fight, Strickland, they made him fight. He had a shoulder injury like Strickland, a wild boy. And he crashed his dirt bike and his shoulder up.

[Joe Rogan]

And they.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he's an. Strickland's an animal. And they allowed him. I mean, they forced him, I should say, to fight.

[Shane Gillis]

Plus 340. Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Listen, man, I'm telling you, he can win. Not only did he beat Adesanya, but the guy does not get tired. Strickland has some of the best cardio in the sport. He's one of the hardest guys to hit. He's very clever with his boxing. He's got one of the best jabs. Jabs in the sport. Strickland can win this fight. It's not saying he's going to win. Hamzat is the best grappler at 185, period.

[Joe Rogan]

If he gets him on the ground

[Mark Normand]

and Hamza strike too. It's not just a grappler, he's an ad.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, I mean, that's what I mean with the talk. He's. Maybe he's trying to talk him into standing right.

[Mark Normand]

Or talk him into a war or talk him into hitting the gas. Full clip. Trying to take al. Jermaine Sterling did a video about this and alone Jermaine said, here's the thing, if Hamzat tries to just run him over, tries to just take him down, run him over, submit him, and can't do it, then that's a problem because then he gases himself out in the first round. This is a five round fight. Strickland is notoriously durable, notoriously in incredible shape. And he's calm. He knows how to fight in wars. Like he's. He's like accustomed to that, you know. He had a very abusive childhood. He doesn't like bullies. Like, Strickland's is a tough nut, dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, ye.

[Mark Normand]

In my mind, this is like I would get Hans out of firing me up, dude. This is a great fight, dude.

[Joe Rogan]

Have you heard his trans.

[Mark Normand]

This is one strictly is the best at just talking wild at press conferences. Yeah, yeah, he's a wild fellow.

[Shane Gillis]

He is.

[Mark Normand]

He was on the podcast, so he's fun, man. He's fun. He gets so angry and worked up about, but he's fun.

[Shane Gillis]

You know what's fun like now a back. Fun Whites.

[Joe Rogan]

Fun Whites are coming back.

[Mark Normand]

He's one of the funnest Whites ever.

[Joe Rogan]

I. I blame Chet Hanks. He brought it. He broke it open.

[Mark Normand]

Chad Han.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. White boy Summer.

[Jamie Lee]

The Whites.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He's got a new accent.

[Joe Rogan]

He broke.

[Mark Normand]

What's his new one?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. He dropped his old one. He was like, I'm done with that fakeness. I got a new fakeness.

[Mark Normand]

Can you imagine? It was Tom Hanks as your dad.

[Joe Rogan]

That's wild.

[Mark Normand]

You got to live in that shadow.

[Joe Rogan]

Colin and Chet, they couldn't be more opposite. Collins's other son, you've seen, he's in a ton of movies.

[Shane Gillis]

Less of a phony.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, he's more straight laced.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Shia LaBeouf he's getting drunk, going to jail, coming back out.

[Mark Normand]

Is Sh. Fam. Famous. Just like he's in a ton of movies. God, he looks just like Tom. That's crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

Forest Gump, too, good actor.

[Mark Normand]

He looks more Forest Gumpy than Forest Gump.

[Shane Gillis]

He looks more Philadelphia.

[Mark Normand]

What is this? What do you. Chad is singing. Oh, he's singing now.

[Joe Rogan]

He's doing country music.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, God. He can't.

[Mark Normand]

I thought he was a rapper.

[Joe Rogan]

He was, but country's big now.

[Mark Normand]

He's just swinging in every.

[Shane Gillis]

He just goes wherever it's popular.

[Joe Rogan]

Renaissance.

[Jamie Lee]

He doesn't suck.

[Shane Gillis]

That guy's Jack.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, he's great. Chet Hanks, Jamaican accents.

[Mark Normand]

Imagine what it's like having Tom Hanks as a dad and trying to find your own identity.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm sure it's tough if your father was a molester, but doesn't.

[Joe Rogan]

Come on.

[Jamie Lee]

You're talking about Jam Stamp.

[Joe Rogan]

Dare you talk about Woody here

[Jamie Lee]

Just goes.

[Mark Normand]

He was.

[Joe Rogan]

He was good.

[Shane Gillis]

He was good in Atlanta, and that's about it.

[Joe Rogan]

Atlanta?

[Mark Normand]

Atlanta.

[Joe Rogan]

Philadelphia.

[Shane Gillis]

Did an episode of Atlanta. It was good. Oh, which.

[Jamie Lee]

Which one?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Chad rules.

[Jamie Lee]

He was also great in Curb.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes.

[Jamie Lee]

Played the soldier.

[Joe Rogan]

That's right.

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't see that one.

[Joe Rogan]

You want to talk great athletes? What about the amputee cornhole guy?

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

What? Where'd that come from?

[Joe Rogan]

You haven't seen this guy?

[Mark Normand]

What kind of a transition was that?

[Joe Rogan]

I know where he's going with it. Athletes. Guy got in trouble for shooting someone. He's got no arms, no legs.

[Mark Normand]

Did he really shoot somebody with a nub for 100? He shot him.

[Joe Rogan]

Pull it up.

[Shane Gillis]

What's cornhole? I thought he's playing cornhole.

[Joe Rogan]

What does he have to do?

[Mark Normand]

Does he have to attach, like, a stick to the nub so he could pull the trigger?

[Joe Rogan]

He's got a little tiny thumb right on the stump, and he could trigger pull the trigger and kill the guy.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Why did he kill the guy?

[Joe Rogan]

I think he. His stump. I don't know what happened, actually. I remember reading the story.

[Mark Normand]

Son of a.

[Joe Rogan]

He was driving the car, too. There was three other guys in the car, and he's the one driving.

[Shane Gillis]

Stump drove the car?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

This guy's a badass.

[Shane Gillis]

Sit down a straight road.

[Jamie Lee]

And he was a professional cornhole player.

[Joe Rogan]

He was number one. Cornhole?

[Mark Normand]

No. Was he the bag?

[Joe Rogan]

Here's a video. There's a video of him climbing a ladder. Climbing a ladder? Yeah. I'll show you that after this. But he's getting passed around in prison like A cornhole bag.

[Mark Normand]

Juan on suspicion of shooting and killing a pastor in his card during an argument.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at this badass.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he can shoot guns.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, shoot well.

[Joe Rogan]

You got to hand it to him.

[Mark Normand]

Well, okay, maybe if you like to

[Jamie Lee]

stand on there, Mark.

[Mark Normand]

Less limbs, less movement, less limbs.

[Shane Gillis]

It's not this end.

[Mark Normand]

This more stable.

[Joe Rogan]

I went out on a limb.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you son of a. There's his cornhole strategy.

[Joe Rogan]

Unbelievable. He's really good. Look at this. He's just sinking him crazy bags and now you. He's in jail. Poor guy. He could have been a hero of our generation.

[Mark Normand]

So did he kill the guy for a reason? Lost his limbs. Bacterial infection. At 10 years old. Demonstrating shooting. So what is the story? Accused of shooting a guy during a driving argument.

[Joe Rogan]

He wanted the two guys in the car to help him get rid of the body. They refused and then he dropped them out of the car. Went and dropped the body somewhere. Someone found the body and then they came after him.

[Mark Normand]

That'd be tough to dig a hole, bro. The way I think he died, I don't think. Astonishing Ari leaves like a ghost in the night.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, he's old. They got a piss every 10 minutes.

[Mark Normand]

I'm older than him.

[Joe Rogan]

He drinks prune juice. Goes right through you.

[Mark Normand]

So? So it was an argument. He just shot the guy. You think it would take so long for him to pull out the gun, you would just smack it out of his stub.

[Joe Rogan]

You think? But I think when that guy comes up to you, you're like. Like, what are you gonna do? You're not scared. So the guy's got all the time in the world.

[Jamie Lee]

I'd be so scared if I saw

[Joe Rogan]

that guy climb a hunting blind with a rifle on his back. Look at this psycho. Oh, God, he's like a slug. Very capable. What a pull. Wow. I mean, you gotta hand to the guy for just being independent.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, I mean, we're being mean to him. I want to make sure he's a murderer before I make fun of him for being.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe the guy in the back seat was a real disabled.

[Joe Rogan]

He's definitely a murderer. He's in jail.

[Jamie Lee]

I wonder.

[Mark Normand]

He's in jail right now.

[Joe Rogan]

You better believe it.

[Mark Normand]

Huh. Found a nearby yard.

[Joe Rogan]

That's who you want as your bunk mate? He's not rap mouth.

[Mark Normand]

Dead at the scene. He was tracked to Virginia Hospital and arrested. Set to be. He was in a hospital? Why was he in a hospital?

[Shane Gillis]

Maryland.

[Mark Normand]

Well, did they get in a fight?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, Witnesses said they got so rarely in the news.

[Mark Normand]

So the guy Punched him and he had to go to the hospital. So he was. He was tracked to a hospital. So the guy who he shot was

[Joe Rogan]

the guy punching him sounds about right.

[Shane Gillis]

Punching a guy with no arms and no legs. He's got to do something to fight back, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Shoot you.

[Mark Normand]

But that's what's weird. It's like it says the looks so happy. But it said if it says he went to a hospital, like, why did he have to go to a hospital? Mad ride.

[Jamie Lee]

Mad rifle.

[Mark Normand]

That's what they say. Riding high in April.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it says, officer shack him to the hospital. That's all it says.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but why was he in the hospital? So did they get in a fist fight and he pulled the gun? The guy who was beating his ass.

[Shane Gillis]

Let's get him to a hospital.

[Mark Normand]

But it's fine.

[Jamie Lee]

They were like, holy, take him to an er.

[Mark Normand]

But it's a weird situation. If he was at a hospital, like, why was he at a hospital? Yeah, we don't know the whole story.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know.

[Shane Gillis]

Anyway, he can. He plays a mean cornhole.

[Joe Rogan]

The car out of the bot or pull the body out of the car. They said no. They got out of the car instead. And he drove off with the body still in the car.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Shane Gillis]

How's he going to get him out of the car? He's got no arms.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Jamie Lee]

Is that Bieber in the middle? Oh, I thought it was the same crime.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, celebrity. What did Bieber get arrested for, by the way?

[Shane Gillis]

Go back up. Look how dashing Bieber is in his mug shot.

[Mark Normand]

Did people get arrested for looking cute?

[Shane Gillis]

Perfectly straight teeth.

[Joe Rogan]

Who knows? Low hand's not bad either.

[Shane Gillis]

Low hand's not bad.

[Jamie Lee]

There rules.

[Mark Normand]

Dude, Low hand's hot again.

[Shane Gillis]

I co starred in She's Back.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, good.

[Mark Normand]

Lohan co starred in a movie with Lohan?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Worst movie of all time.

[Mark Normand]

What was that?

[Shane Gillis]

Inappropriate comedy start directed by the Shamwell guy.

[Mark Normand]

Lohan.

[Joe Rogan]

You're in that.

[Shane Gillis]

Lohan. We had an Academy award winner. Adrien Brody.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Adrien Brody.

[Joe Rogan]

Crazy. The Pianist.

[Shane Gillis]

Who's the chick who got drunk driving? Who was in the Avatar?

[Joe Rogan]

Boom.

[Shane Gillis]

That one at the end. Rodriguez.

[Jamie Lee]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know she got a doe.

[Mark Normand]

Rob Schneider's in that.

[Shane Gillis]

But everybody.

[Joe Rogan]

Who's the middle lady with the dude?

[Mark Normand]

Is that really the worst movie ever?

[Shane Gillis]

It's on. It was on Rotten Tomatoes as the worst movie of all time. And for a while it had zero.

[Joe Rogan]

How did Adrian Brody get roped into that?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, what happened to him? Did he get roped into that?

[Shane Gillis]

He was on a downturn of his career. He came back. He was on a downswing.

[Joe Rogan]

You know what's crazy about Brody? He's banging Harvey.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, am I in there? Oh, you know who else in there? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Theo Vaughn.

[Joe Rogan]

Alan Clyer. All right.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Ari Shafir. There we go.

[Joe Rogan]

And the amazing racist with some writing.

[Shane Gillis]

Christina Pazinski did some writing on this.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Dante is the racist assistant. Rob Schneider is jd.

[Shane Gillis]

That's when I was offering black people a free trip back to Africa.

[Jamie Lee]

You really did it, man.

[Joe Rogan]

You really went for it back then.

[Mark Normand]

So when you got the script, did you realize it was going to be that bad?

[Shane Gillis]

There was no script. Vince came to me, was like, hey, those amazing Races. You did. Can we make more of those?

[Joe Rogan]

And I'm like, I know.

[Shane Gillis]

Don't own them. And he goes, can we make new ones? And I was like, yeah, if you want to.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey, it earned 172k for a location.

[Mark Normand]

$625. It's over.

[Shane Gillis]

All these, like, pictures of one person in the theater.

[Mark Normand]

I like how it says inappropriate, but for some reason. App was about apps, dude, it was all about apps.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a whole backstory line.

[Jamie Lee]

None of it made any sense.

[Joe Rogan]

Like dating apps.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, what year was this?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, okay, your question question.

[Jamie Lee]

2013. I remember I saw this by myself.

[Shane Gillis]

2013. It was just begetting a mouse.

[Joe Rogan]

625.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, this movie was so fun.

[Joe Rogan]

I've never heard of this in my life.

[Shane Gillis]

We went to the border, and I was doing a setup scene and some people were running and crossing.

[Mark Normand]

But it's so crazy. Like, Adrien Broder is a legit actor.

[Shane Gillis]

He was. He was down and then back up. They gave him money.

[Jamie Lee]

Who gets. Why did he go down a movie with you?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, he was in a scene. He was in dirt. Flirty Harry.

[Jamie Lee]

Flirty Harry.

[Joe Rogan]

Flirty Harry.

[Mark Normand]

So.

[Joe Rogan]

But why the is going on? Wow, guys. He went to jail too.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow, bro.

[Mark Normand]

We should have a screening of this. On the next Protect our Parks.

[Joe Rogan]

I would love to see this.

[Mark Normand]

Let's. Let's watch it and talk, bro. This looks so bad.

[Joe Rogan]

This is horrible.

[Shane Gillis]

It's so bad.

[Mark Normand]

Who's the girl? The girl with the brunette right there.

[Joe Rogan]

Rodriguez.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, the girl from Aliens. Isn't she in Aliens too? Maybe see if she's an alien.

[Joe Rogan]

She's Vin Diesel's lady.

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy. They got her in this.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Kids in cages. How does this.

[Mark Normand]

How does this shamwow guy talk everybody into this?

[Shane Gillis]

Money, bro. GS gave Me advice. He was like, hey, they want me to do this thing. He goes, ari. Every once in a while. So people in Holly.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, there he is.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane, you can't laugh at this.

[Joe Rogan]

Young Ari.

[Shane Gillis]

Shane, sit this one out.

[Joe Rogan]

We'll take it from here.

[Jamie Lee]

I will say so like, you guys were making dog like this.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

And then I was like, cuz I wasn't really around for that.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

And then it's like, man, I can't believe cancel culture exists. It's like, oh, now I get it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

Put an end to this horseshit. So bad.

[Mark Normand]

2000.

[Jamie Lee]

Now that stinks. Fire everybody.

[Mark Normand]

2013.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Wow. Those Amazing Races videos were probably like 2000. Five, six, seven.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, five, I think. Because it was before. I think those videos were before the whole Mencia thing at the store.

[Shane Gillis]

That's right. Because he was like, why? Who are you to say anything about racial jokes? Somebody's like, amazing racist.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah,

[Shane Gillis]

yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. That's crazy. They got Adrian Brody because. Because he's probably paid money to try to get that released. Like, deleted.

[Joe Rogan]

I've never heard of it.

[Shane Gillis]

No one even knows about it.

[Mark Normand]

They do now.

[Shane Gillis]

They do now. That's right.

[Jamie Lee]

You have.

[Mark Normand]

A million people are currently listening.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

You guys are actually going to make a ton of money on that movie.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah, he did kill Tony. He got caught biting that hook. No, the hook was biting his tongue and he had to, like, get my fucking tongue. And he was like. He did something.

[Joe Rogan]

That's not so bad.

[Mark Normand]

What was he doing? His tongue. She bit it.

[Shane Gillis]

He was.

[Mark Normand]

Why have your tongue involved in a hooker at all? What's happening?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you don't kiss a hooker.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you do if you're drunk.

[Jamie Lee]

Passionately. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Let's go.

[Jamie Lee]

You pay for just kisses. Let's go.

[Mark Normand]

I wish you were my.

[Shane Gillis]

We knew a guy. We knew a guy at the Comedy Store who would pay extra. I'm not going to say who, but. But who would pay extra to. To go down on hookers without.

[Joe Rogan]

Really.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. To go down. Oh, you don't know him. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

He would pay for that

[Jamie Lee]

dog, man. He's the funniest.

[Shane Gillis]

He would be open about it. Talk about things like, nah, they won't

[Mark Normand]

let you go down. Wow. Guy is running for Congress.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll vote for it.

[Mark Normand]

Make America grow some balls again.

[Joe Rogan]

Like here. It's like Cedar Park.

[Mark Normand]

What? Yeah. What.

[Shane Gillis]

What is?

[Mark Normand]

His first Nine bills in Congress with a headset. No tax on Social Security. That's reasonable. Great parental class view.

[Shane Gillis]

Don't know what that is.

[Mark Normand]

What does that mean? Many times protect our homes. We do not. Oh, in classes. Ring cameras in classes. That's not a bad idea. NXX on X Pornography on. Oh, boo.

[Jamie Lee]

Sounds like this guy wants to jerk off the kids and he's pretending to be a congressman to go. We should set up cameras in schools.

[Mark Normand]

Healthy screen acts.

[Shane Gillis]

I like number five Cowboy has to be a human at customer service. I like that.

[Joe Rogan]

That's.

[Shane Gillis]

Somebody's annoyed. Like the agent.

[Mark Normand]

Agent.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Little rock ruin India.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, interesting. Children need to pray. Oh, come on.

[Jamie Lee]

A lot of kids stuff coming out of this guy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Does he have children?

[Shane Gillis]

Cowboy coats for kids.

[Mark Normand]

Find out if he actually has children. Let's find out the shamwell.

[Joe Rogan]

We got a Jew here, Shlomi.

[Jamie Lee]

He sent me a Shamwell jacket.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, did you wear it everywhere?

[Jamie Lee]

Entirely out of Shamwell. He is a charming fellow.

[Mark Normand]

It must be great when it rains out and that thing weighs 80 pounds.

[Shane Gillis]

That for the roast.

[Jamie Lee]

I go great, Now I weigh 375 pounds.

[Mark Normand]

Find out if that guy has a family. His story kind of odd that he's concentrating.

[Shane Gillis]

He would just sell in Atlantic City, like on the streets.

[Joe Rogan]

I think he was a bad.

[Shane Gillis]

And he was just great at it. And he goes, I'll take out like Byron Allen, like late night spots and just sell to more people.

[Mark Normand]

You must have made so much money.

[Joe Rogan]

Fortune Sham was nice.

[Jamie Lee]

I'll tell you, I got a good shamwow story. One time I was staying at my buddy's house and I stood up, up in the middle of the night. I was. He gave me his bed, so I was in that, but his roommate was in the other bed. It was in college. And I just stood up and pissed on the other guy's bed while he was in it.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh damn.

[Jamie Lee]

And then in the morning I got a shamwow out.

[Mark Normand]

He soaked it all up, just pressed

[Jamie Lee]

it against this guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Is that what it does? It soaks?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, really well.

[Mark Normand]

It's a shammy cloth. The shammy cloth is the thing they used to wash cars with forever.

[Shane Gillis]

He said. He said he went to seven companies in Korea. He goes, send me each one. He goes, this one's the best one. All right, put my name on that

[Mark Normand]

and run them out. So is it like, like a synthetic version of a chamois cloth? Cuz a shammy cloth is like an animal skin cloth that you use to clean cars with.

[Shane Gillis]

No idea.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Shammy cloth is like you wash the car and then the car has all this water on it. You use the shammy cloth first and then you polish it with like microfiber cloth.

[Jamie Lee]

It's what it is, actually. Yeah, it's very absorbent. I use. I like the shammy thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you bring them up.

[Jamie Lee]

Reminds me of. Yeah, yeah, do that.

[Shane Gillis]

Jamie. I used to work at a car sham for this.

[Jamie Lee]

I used to work in an auto auction in a dealership and a garage.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, there you go.

[Jamie Lee]

Do it.

[Mark Normand]

Which is why tires is a good

[Shane Gillis]

show inside of knowledge for sure.

[Joe Rogan]

You write what you know, bro.

[Mark Normand]

You need a muscle car. You need a muscle car. Shane, I.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, Shane, you know this purchase you just made? Hey, doing it wrong.

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no, he's not doing it wrong.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm happy with that one.

[Mark Normand]

That's the one's great. But how about also? How about also you get like a modern muscle car that works really well. Do you know. Do you know about Revology Mustangs? Have you ever seen my 68 Mustang?

[Jamie Lee]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

My Bullet Mustang?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, that shit rocks.

[Mark Normand]

Rocks. Right? There's a company, this company, Revology, they're the. They make a brand new 1969.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, that's what I wanted was. Yeah, I wanted. I wanted an old. You know what I wanted?

[Mark Normand]

Look at that. This is Revology. So this is. No, it's a. The guy, Tom Scarpello, he worked at Ford. He made the Ford.

[Jamie Lee]

Can you imagine me getting out of that in gym shorts?

[Mark Normand]

Me, I do it.

[Jamie Lee]

But you look cool. I. I would look.

[Mark Normand]

You look cool. A master American.

[Joe Rogan]

You do look American.

[Mark Normand]

You look American. So that's what.

[Joe Rogan]

I have that car on the left.

[Mark Normand]

I have that car. I have what?

[Joe Rogan]

You have that. One of the. The blue.

[Mark Normand]

I have the. Well, mine is actually green. That is like Steve McQueen's. I have a green one. 68. But my point is he makes the new one, which is even cooler than the 69. The six go to models. Jamie.

[Shane Gillis]

Seven is the one.

[Mark Normand]

Go to models. And this is six and a half. No, no, no, no, no, NO, NO. The new 69 is this.

[Joe Rogan]

That one.

[Mark Normand]

The boss. The boss 429. Click on that.

[Joe Rogan]

So it's just a old body with a new car.

[Mark Normand]

But it's not an old body. It's a brand new version. Yes, it's a factory. It's a full factory, but it's completely reliable.

[Jamie Lee]

I can't drive that.

[Shane Gillis]

Jordan ones.

[Mark Normand]

I will force you at gunpoint to drive that. You need one of those. You need a black one.

[Jamie Lee]

No, I need a 9087 Land Cruiser.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's a nice car.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, you do? Yeah, that's what. That's what I was.

[Mark Normand]

I have a 95 with my car, supercharged Corvette engine and I need a new car.

[Jamie Lee]

I couldn't wait long enough to get.

[Mark Normand]

What you got is perfect. What you got is perfect.

[Shane Gillis]

Buick Regal.

[Mark Normand]

You want to tell people what you got?

[Joe Rogan]

You need a Libera.

[Mark Normand]

Don't tell me what you got, but what you got. See, that's what I. Yeah, that's a real car.

[Joe Rogan]

I love those.

[Mark Normand]

Jamie, pull up mine. I have a 1995 that TLC made me and I had to put a supercharged quad Corvette engine in it. And then I had Colvin Automotive change the supercharger, jack it up to 800 horsepower exhaust. Now. Oh, it's a total apocalypse car. It's got a gun safe in it. It's got everything.

[Joe Rogan]

Who's the nerd?

[Mark Normand]

That's my friend Jonathan Ward who built the car for me.

[Shane Gillis]

2017 Toyota Corolla.

[Joe Rogan]

That guy needs a wedgie.

[Mark Normand]

You need. You need a 69 boss. That's what you need.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at that. Oh, you got the winch.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh, it's got everything.

[Joe Rogan]

You're amazing.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I got this when I was worried that had a family and I was worried that at one point in time LA was going to experience an apocalypse and I had to be able to drive somewhere where there's no roads. So I got an extra large gas tank on that thing. I have steel bumpers all around, rock sliders on the side. I wanted to make it so I

[Shane Gillis]

could just go run over protest.

[Jamie Lee]

I can't wait to get away. I can't wait to die at the gates in front of your house when the apocalypse happens.

[Mark Normand]

You're not going to die.

[Jamie Lee]

I can't wait for someone.

[Mark Normand]

I'm going to let you in. Come on, dog, please. How dare you save me.

[Shane Gillis]

You park there like do not get out of your car.

[Mark Normand]

By then we'll be at the ranch. We'll have the ranch. We'll have the ranch fully operational by now. But between then. Now and then you need a Mustang. You need a boss, brother.

[Joe Rogan]

Is the Mustang the only one they make? Can we get like an old Porsche? Can I get an old.

[Mark Normand]

Well, there's plenty of companies.

[Jamie Lee]

You're too big for an old Porsche.

[Joe Rogan]

You're too big for a Porsche.

[Mark Normand]

Land Cruiser is another company called RSR Creations. They make a 911. It you can get it with no AC, no nothing. It only weighs 2,000 pounds.

[Shane Gillis]

I knew about it on 910.

[Mark Normand]

Dancing Israelis. Don't Google dancing Israelis. Whatever you do, don't read into that story. You'll Go, hey, what? Wait a second.

[Jamie Lee]

All right, there's my fucking platform.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, okay.

[Jamie Lee]

What about.

[Mark Normand]

Let's get rid of apac.

[Jamie Lee]

Let's get rid all those

[Shane Gillis]

lobbies.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, all lobbies, not just the

[Shane Gillis]

ones that are convenient.

[Mark Normand]

You need a muscle car. If you don't want to get that, how about a new muscle car? How about a Shelby? A Shelby Super Snake R, brother.

[Jamie Lee]

I'm never driving that, brother, but you should.

[Shane Gillis]

You need one car.

[Mark Normand]

You need what?

[Shane Gillis]

You need one car. One car.

[Jamie Lee]

I have a pretty small house in a tiny garage.

[Mark Normand]

What are you, a communist?

[Joe Rogan]

You need to get a new.

[Mark Normand]

First of all, you need to do. You're a baller now, so you need a new.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at that.

[Mark Normand]

That's a Shelby Super Snake.

[Joe Rogan]

He can't drive.

[Jamie Lee]

You know what that would look like? Me getting out or bringing there and going. I look, I'm not going to get hard.

[Mark Normand]

850 horsepower.

[Shane Gillis]

That's going to be great to pull into a parking lot.

[Mark Normand]

Shut up, Ari. Get on the highway, open road. I was telling Ari back when Ari first started making money, I go, ari, please get a nice car. Please just get a nice car. How about a Cadillac Black Wing 2022? How about a CT? CT5V? Black Wing? How about that?

[Joe Rogan]

Can't have a Caddy. Come on.

[Jamie Lee]

I agree. If I saw someone.

[Joe Rogan]

My dad's car. That's a black guy.

[Shane Gillis]

700 horsepower, very reliable, Cord.

[Joe Rogan]

Very reliable.

[Shane Gillis]

You could solder the hood shut for five years.

[Mark Normand]

Why would you do that, Ari? You have. You have money too, Ari. You drive me crazy. I was trying to get him to buy a BMW M3 in like 2000.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, that'd be nice. I love a BMW.

[Mark Normand]

Why didn't you do it?

[Shane Gillis]

Because I had to put all my money to this goddamn storytelling show.

[Jamie Lee]

I put my money into that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but you made it back already.

[Shane Gillis]

You made it back, spent more money. Yeah, I just make the budget back. The end available right now.

[Mark Normand]

I've tried for years, maybe decades to try to talk you into buying a nice car.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he can't. Look at that hat.

[Mark Normand]

It's New York.

[Shane Gillis]

You can't have a nice car.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, you can have a nice.

[Joe Rogan]

I got an old B.

[Mark Normand]

Got enough money to have a house. Other places. Get a house out here. Get a house out here with a garage and keep some nice cars in it so you can roll.

[Jamie Lee]

Do you have enough money for that?

[Joe Rogan]

You spent all your money in.

[Mark Normand]

I'll give you the money. Tell me what car you want to buy.

[Jamie Lee]

Hold on a second. You buying Houses.

[Mark Normand]

Buying him a car, not a house.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm still waiting to get a watch.

[Shane Gillis]

I held out. He said watch.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm like, I'll hold out for car.

[Mark Normand]

He gave you a watch, you didn't wear it.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a Rolex.

[Mark Normand]

I would buy you a watch if you'd wear it. If I buy you a watch, will you wear it?

[Joe Rogan]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

How many times?

[Joe Rogan]

Every day I'm thinking, really? I shower with this, right?

[Mark Normand]

But if I bought you a real

[Joe Rogan]

watch, I mean, not like a Rolex, one of those astronaut.

[Shane Gillis]

You're not wear Rolex.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay, yeah, but I don't want. I don't want to.

[Mark Normand]

I'm not trying to protect our parks. I'm going to get you a Speed Master. Pause.

[Jamie Lee]

Hold on.

[Mark Normand]

Omega.

[Shane Gillis]

Can I tell you what he wants?

[Joe Rogan]

Sham well was a Speed Master.

[Shane Gillis]

He wants that size watch, not a bulky one. He wants a thinner watch.

[Joe Rogan]

All right, listen, I like a small watch.

[Mark Normand]

This is not too big. This is a. A Rolex.

[Joe Rogan]

That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

But it's on a. A rubber strap. It's a little understated.

[Shane Gillis]

G Shock rules.

[Mark Normand]

Would you wear that Indiglo?

[Joe Rogan]

I like. I like a. A metal band, but yeah. It's a good looking watch.

[Mark Normand]

What did. What did Louie get you?

[Joe Rogan]

He got me the oyster face or what do you call it?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Joe Rogan]

It's really nice. And it's inscribed in the back. Thanks for working with me. Lck.

[Mark Normand]

You don't even wear it.

[Joe Rogan]

Like it's on my shelf. It's prop up.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, so if I buy you an Omega, you're gonna wear it?

[Joe Rogan]

Hell yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't have to buy me an Omega.

[Mark Normand]

It's over.

[Jamie Lee]

Norman. Norman, you're gonna love this. EGOT gave me the coolest thing that I have, which was Norm MacDonald's cup on the late night. Actual mug. Pull that up from Norm doing the talk show.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, Letterman brought it home. Wow, that's cool.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow, that's a great one.

[Mark Normand]

That's pretty.

[Jamie Lee]

Best gift I got.

[Mark Normand]

That' that. Protect that. Imagine if a chick comes over your house and drops that. Can I have a cup of tea? Whoopsie.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, I protect it. It's on my mantle. It's in the middle. It's above my fore.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow, that's great.

[Mark Normand]

I put like ring ropes around it to cushion it.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, I probably should.

[Joe Rogan]

Mickey Mantle.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Mickey.

[Joe Rogan]

Man, that's a. That's a good one.

[Jamie Lee]

That's the best one.

[Joe Rogan]

Those Rodney notes are great.

[Mark Normand]

Oh my God isn't they're amazing in the green room. Handwritten. Rodney knows, from his Tonight show special. Whitney got us those. Rodney's wife donated. She found out about the club. She knew we were doing it, and she donated it to us.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Very cool.

[Mark Normand]

It's amazing. And you get to read them, and you see how he, like, would, like, make the punch lines bold and all the notes then. Bold punchline.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah, it's cool. Just.

[Mark Normand]

It's like, the feeling. The spirit of, like, joke writing is in that room.

[Joe Rogan]

He was. He was a drug addict.

[Mark Normand]

Allegedly.

[Joe Rogan]

No, that was the coolest thing about

[Shane Gillis]

Robbie was that when enjoyed drugs.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know if he was a drug addict.

[Shane Gillis]

When weed was illegal and cops would come into a club he was in, he was just smoking weed. He would just go up. Somebody, hello, officer. How you do it? But just holding. He knew he was immune. No one's gonna touch him.

[Mark Normand]

I told you guys. When I worked as a security guard, when I got to see Rodney perform, when I worked as a security guard, Whoa.

[Joe Rogan]

I beat up a guy with a walkie talkie.

[Mark Normand]

No, I didn't beat him up. Oh, no, that was Alley Cat. That was my boss.

[Jamie Lee]

That was the first thing I've heard you say.

[Mark Normand]

That was.

[Jamie Lee]

I was like, damn, Joe's old boy. He's like, no, that my boy Ali Cat.

[Mark Normand]

That was the boss. So what happened was one of the guys from my taekwondo gym got hired to be security, and they were like, bro, it's like 50 bucks an hour. It's really cool. You get to see concerts. So we all went, and I got to see Rodney there. Rodney was backstage with nothing on but a bathrobe open. He was completely naked. No, I didn't see that. I saw him walking around with slippers in a bathrobe. And then he was. Went on stage with nothing but a bathrobe. Bathrobe. Naked underneath.

[Shane Gillis]

Went on stage that way.

[Joe Rogan]

That's amazing.

[Mark Normand]

1986, okay. And destroyed. I was 19. I was mesmerized. And back then, I wasn't even thinking about doing comedy. I was just fighting, and I was enjoying it. And I was like, this is. This guy's so free. I remember thinking that, like, this guy's on stage with a. I mean, destroy. I get no respect. No respect at all. And the place is going nuts. Punchline after punchline after punchline. I was 19. I mean, I was blown away.

[Joe Rogan]

And you were working.

[Mark Normand]

I was working, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Security guard.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a good gig. Got to see the shows.

[Mark Normand]

That was also the job that I quit when, you know, the whole thing would happen. With COVID where Neil Young pulled his music off Spotify because I was giving out vaccine misinformation.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, is that until he couldn't get it played elsewhere?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it was.

[Mark Normand]

Not really. He didn't even own his music. Music, it's all. But anyway, I. I didn't on him at the time, even though he's trying to ruin my life, because I was a Neil Young fan. And I told the story about how when I was a security guard, the last day on the job was a Neil Young concert because a riot broke out. And a riot broke out. I was like, I'm not fighting for 50 bucks an hour. Zipped up my hoodie, and I just walked out. And I never even got my last check. Damn, it was cold out in great woods in Mansfield. Has a whole lawn. It's an amphitheater. Amphitheater. So the. The front part that's all seated has a cover over it, and then the back part's a lawn. And it was a little cold out. So these animals. The Neil Young concert started lighting bonfires. And so the security guys had to come over and tell them, hey, put out the fires. And drunk guys were like, you. And my friend Larry punched some guy. And Larry was like, the nicest guy in the world. I'm like, oh, my God, we're having a war. And so the fight started breaking up. And as soon as, like, my friends were safe and we were. I'm like, let's get the out of here. I put on my hoodie and I just quit. I'm like, I'm not fighting these people. And that was my last day on the job as security guard.

[Jamie Lee]

Bonfires and fist fighting at a Neil Young.

[Mark Normand]

10 taekwondo, black belts, including, like, national level competitors that were all security guards. They were just waiting to kick somebody into a roundhouse. And Neil Young fans never. I mean, Joe Derosa.

[Joe Rogan]

One guy. Let me.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, let's hear this.

[Shane Gillis]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. All right, go. Hold on.

[Joe Rogan]

There's a volume. I don't know. There's no sound. Of course I remember. This is covet time, huh?

[Jamie Lee]

Yep.

[Joe Rogan]

I remember you'd wear that.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I was like, what are you doing?

[Jamie Lee]

I was like, I'll add the song.

[Mark Normand]

What's the. With the glasses?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. I was doing something. Skiggles. Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

This is brutal.

[Jamie Lee]

I forgot. That was my best part is I said, I'll add the music.

[Shane Gillis]

Moving. Broken your.

[Joe Rogan]

It's like a hostage video.

[Shane Gillis]

Please turn this off.

[Joe Rogan]

This is Horrific.

[Shane Gillis]

I love the derosa so much.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh man, he took it so serious.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, that's not as fun as Roddy naked.

[Joe Rogan]

That's.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn, Shane. You killed stuff. I did not enjoy that at all.

[Joe Rogan]

That was bad. I'll turn it. Did you see the Scientology speed runs that were going around?

[Mark Normand]

What's that?

[Joe Rogan]

Scientology places all over the country.

[Mark Normand]

They're breaking into them. Why?

[Joe Rogan]

Speed runs.

[Mark Normand]

Speed runs?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

No, let me see this.

[Joe Rogan]

They're trying to get as deep as

[Mark Normand]

they can possibly get into a Scientology building. Building removed all the door designed secret prison Speed runs.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Jamie Lee]

That guy, the one White House correspondence.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

So cold.

[Jamie Lee]

Oh, you don't play games.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I don't.

[Jamie Lee]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

Speed runs is such a great way to go through something. Just run as fast.

[Mark Normand]

So this is a trend.

[Joe Rogan]

They'll kill you. Those guys now that they've like, they've taken the. The handles off the doors on the outside.

[Shane Gillis]

I went. I went. Me and Natasha went to. To a Scientology once. Yeah. And I was. They kind of got me a little. They were like, can we get some information for you? I'm like, I mean, my home address if you want. And she was like, what the are you doing? I'm like, I don't know. They're getting me. The book they saw was it's good for ages eight to eight. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

So this kid just ran through.

[Joe Rogan]

Maybe noise, maybe whites are coming back in like 10 seconds. They're not really doing anything other than just good.

[Mark Normand]

But all these other people behind them, are they scientologists or these just all kids? These are the kids running also. There's more than one kid. It's multiple kids.

[Joe Rogan]

30 of them. Good for them.

[Shane Gillis]

Some will get 30 through.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, look how deep they're going.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they're just like, what's inside? What are you guys hiding? I love these guys cuz no one really has ever seen inside those buildings. They're having fun.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, how weird.

[Joe Rogan]

They just run out the exit.

[Mark Normand]

Well, they're like the second biggest real estate holders in Los Angeles, I think.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they're crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh my God. Look at this guy trying.

[Mark Normand]

I think it's like China and then Scientology raid with Jesus. They're trying to open the door.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, I love it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, this is so.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, it's over. They got you.

[Joe Rogan]

They deserve this. Those guys are coming. I mean, look at the inside though too. I've never.

[Shane Gillis]

Scientology has a voting block in Los Angeles.

[Mark Normand]

Cool.

[Joe Rogan]

Inside it's like a museum. Look at that.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

I want to go in there.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Yeah, you Take a photo outside their building. They'll. They'll tackle you.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I remember during the 90s, a lot of people were thinking about joining Scientology because it was really good for your career.

[Shane Gillis]

Career acting class West.

[Mark Normand]

Tom Cruise Allen was in an acting class with scientists. Scientology guy. And I remember he was, like, telling me that, like, a lot of these Scientologists, they, like, get really far in acting because, like, you get connected.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Recorded Scientology run

[Joe Rogan]

just started recently, I think, like, this month. Good for them.

[Mark Normand]

Look at this guy moving. Look at this guy with the suits trying to stop him. That was a handout.

[Shane Gillis]

As if that's gonna do it.

[Mark Normand]

Very unenthusiastic.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey, did you guys see the fat principal who stopped the school shooting? Yeah, that was amazing.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I think it was Virginia. He got shot. The guy came into the building with a gun, and this principal just rushes him, grabs him, tackles him, holds on the gun. He got shot in the leg, apparently.

[Joe Rogan]

Badass.

[Mark Normand]

Then he went into a party. It was like the prom. Yeah, it was the prom, like, a week later. And everybody went crazy and cheered.

[Joe Rogan]

He became very emotional.

[Shane Gillis]

Stopped 20 deaths.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I mean, stopped it in its tracks as the guy came in through the front door.

[Shane Gillis]

You do have one moment where, like, you see it, you realize, and you're like, let's go.

[Mark Normand]

Injured in school shooting. Shooter identified as former student.

[Joe Rogan]

This is an Oklahoma. Former Oklahoma.

[Mark Normand]

That's where it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Wayne Coin.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Wow. Look at the guy. That's the guy.

[Mark Normand]

But if you watch the video, the guy literally threw himself on the guy with the gun. Completely heroic.

[Jamie Lee]

Show me his face again. Dude, that's a guy who loves brus.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Weirdo.

[Mark Normand]

He's probably not worried about his death.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, Mark, I can't even drink that yet.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jamie Lee]

He's ready to go to.

[Mark Normand]

He's ready to go.

[Jamie Lee]

He's a Viking. That's an American Viking, dude. You get fat as you drink beers. You go it. I've been waiting for somebody to holla. Brother.

[Joe Rogan]

He's a hero. God damn it.

[Mark Normand]

Didn't Cash Patel say that about somebody seeing about Charlie Kirk?

[Jamie Lee]

Corniest ever.

[Mark Normand]

That's a rough one.

[Jamie Lee]

Your watch is over. We'll see you in Valhalla. Shut up.

[Mark Normand]

I was watching a video on what a 30 odd six actually would do to a neck.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, no, Here we go.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they showed, like, what the actual rifle round would do to a person's neck versus, like, what you saw from Charlie Kirk. There's a lot of people that don't Think it was really that guy on the roof that shot him. That was something else. Some people think it was a microphone. But the problem, yeah, the microphone shot him in the neck. Like there was some sort of an implemented destruction device. The problem I have with that is you don't see any fire coming off of the microphone.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Like if a microphone is going to kill you, it's going to shoot you. You somehow or another, it's got to be an explosive charge. And then you'll see a flash and then something will projectile from that into your neck.

[Shane Gillis]

Say, a microphone.

[Mark Normand]

I think someone.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, somebody shot him, right?

[Mark Normand]

Someone shot him.

[Joe Rogan]

If a rifle shoots your neck, wouldn't it go far away?

[Mark Normand]

You would imagine it would. And in these videos that I saw, it like shows a massive destruction. So what they're using is ballistic gel. And so they have like a fake neck and a fake head and like a spine. They show ballistic gel, what it looks like, and it just blows the neck completely apart. It's just splatter, a giant opening wound. Because this tissue is very soft. I mean, this is not durable tissue. And he got shot. And it was not even an exit hole.

[Shane Gillis]

Did they catch the guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Supposedly,

[Mark Normand]

you're so.

[Shane Gillis]

I remember at a bar in Guatemala, someone's like, who's Charlie Kirk? I'm like, I think he makes. I think he makes fun of college kids.

[Mark Normand]

You're right about that.

[Joe Rogan]

That's not wrong.

[Shane Gillis]

And then I was like, why? Like, I think he got killed.

[Mark Normand]

I was like, oh, brother's many, many, many, many, many layers to that story. Past the weed and his wife.

[Jamie Lee]

Outdoor bar.

[Shane Gillis]

Like, yeah. Anyway, bro,

[Mark Normand]

Many levels.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't mean to come down on you, but that's sweet. Oh, man, I don't even know past the weed, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

I was looking for weed at the time he's smoking. I'm like, I'm looking for that weed.

[Mark Normand]

Weed in Guatemala?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What is the legality of weed in Guatemala?

[Shane Gillis]

Same as like five years ago here, like, do it legal.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you can get arrested, though, and you wind up in a Guatemalan jail. Imagine we had to bail you out.

[Shane Gillis]

Like the 18 wouldn't even know.

[Jamie Lee]

We would never bail you out.

[Mark Normand]

I would. I'd go.

[Jamie Lee]

Let him sit there for a little.

[Joe Rogan]

You would fly to Guatemala?

[Mark Normand]

100. 100.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

If you was in jail in Guatemala. 100. We get him out.

[Jamie Lee]

That'd be fun, though, to let him sit for a few days. Yeah, he needs to learn his lessons.

[Shane Gillis]

Of course I'm gonna get weed. I'm the guy who gets Weed. The lesson is, keep getting weed, man.

[Mark Normand]

We'd have to go get him. I'd make you guys come with me.

[Joe Rogan]

We'd have to film it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Protect our parts from a national park.

[Mark Normand]

Whoever filmed your. That whole.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that you did.

[Mark Normand]

Bring out that guy. Yeah, he'll put some witty quotes.

[Jamie Lee]

Get him in there. Get Ari in there.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at this state of emergency.

[Mark Normand]

Because gang prisons, prison riots and the gangs. You'd be in that gang.

[Joe Rogan]

Getting good to get you back in the camps.

[Mark Normand]

I can't have you in there, Ari. Getting by These Guatemala.

[Shane Gillis]

Those guys who gave me weed, who told me about Charlie Kirk, they were like, what do you think about Trump? I'm like, I don't really know. And then I figured out how to turn it away from that conversation. I go, how's your guy? And they go, our guy sucks. He's so crooked.

[Joe Rogan]

Maduro.

[Shane Gillis]

No, it was somebody in Guatemala.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, sorry, wrong country.

[Shane Gillis]

You just turned on their guy. They love talking about it. Yeah, Far away. Yeah, like, he's crooked. He takes money from corporations. I'm like, yeah, we do that.

[Joe Rogan]

Boo.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Better than El Salvador. That place is even crazier.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

They rules. They stopped all crimes.

[Joe Rogan]

Didn't they have a ton of gangs?

[Mark Normand]

They got rid of them giant prisons and stopped all the crime.

[Shane Gillis]

They drove them out, killed the rest.

[Joe Rogan]

Can we do that?

[Mark Normand]

Their crime dropped off a big story here, Mark.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I guess.

[Shane Gillis]

No, that guy is a big hero to everyone there. They all love him.

[Jamie Lee]

Look at this.

[Joe Rogan]

Agreed.

[Shane Gillis]

Everyone who was there loves him. Everyone who came in later was like,

[Mark Normand]

that's El Salvador's prison.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at the guy, the back, he's

[Joe Rogan]

kind of fat, couple chunks.

[Mark Normand]

I bet there's a few guys in there that don't belong.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, no, There's a story here that anyone with a tattoo get arrested and they're like, no, no. It's anyone with a tattoo of a cop you've killed with his badge number.

[Mark Normand]

They capture the.

[Jamie Lee]

The Nate Diaz's all Nate.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they do look like Nate.

[Jamie Lee]

Nate.

[Joe Rogan]

They're all gonna stand up, go, what's up?

[Shane Gillis]

You got their country back.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn. The tattoo guys obviously cleaning up out there.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, wait, let's see if we can

[Mark Normand]

see when you tattoo your face up like that that you are not around.

[Shane Gillis]

So a lot of the face tattoos are loved ones they've raped? No, no, I didn't just make it up.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

You get extra points for raping a mom, a sister, an aunt, your own mom. Yeah, buddy.

[Jamie Lee]

This.

[Shane Gillis]

It wasn't a great situation where Are

[Mark Normand]

you coming up with this?

[Shane Gillis]

Talking to El Salvadorans?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie Lee]

In El Salvador, I think your Spanish was a little broken.

[Shane Gillis]

They had a soccer game.

[Mark Normand]

Non existent. Can you speak Spanish at all?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah, they had a soccer game.

[Mark Normand]

Say something. Order pizza.

[Shane Gillis]

Pizza, porfa.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, come on. That was yokero. Taco Bell with pizza.

[Shane Gillis]

They had a soccer game in the port town where they cut babies out of a woman and play soccer with it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey, make soccer interesting.

[Shane Gillis]

They're. They're gangs trained by us, but pretty strong, so get rid of them.

[Mark Normand]

But they. What they did was nuts, though. They, like, just made these giant super prisons and just put everybody in there and the crime dropped off a cliff.

[Joe Rogan]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

I went to Independence Day parade there. It was wild how much everybody's like, what are you doing here? This is wild. Our guy is the best. It's the only country where they're like, we love our guy. It was everyone else. We hate our guy.

[Mark Normand]

They love everyone. Nicaragua. They wouldn't let Ari into Nicaragua.

[Shane Gillis]

They love that guy. They love that guy. There was the first time they could. They could go out in public and like. And like. And like, what's his name?

[Joe Rogan]

What's the name of the ell?

[Shane Gillis]

He's half. Half Arab. They don't care.

[Mark Normand]

What kind of Arab?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

The good kind.

[Joe Rogan]

Is there not Palestinian?

[Jamie Lee]

No, no, no, no. I just mean do it.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Is it George, I bet. No, no.

[Mark Normand]

Supported the. The. The claim that specific face tattoos in El Salvador mark someone as being raped. Who was raped, A family member. Is not supported by credible evidence. By the way. What credible evidence?

[Shane Gillis]

You get talked to so many people there so disagree with this.

[Mark Normand]

It's hard to know because how many people are documenting this stuff in, like, period reviewed papers.

[Jamie Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Mark Normand]

Like, what is perplexity drawing from?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, like, this is what happens.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, I'm sure a lot of it did happen. I'm sure a lot of it. H. You know, I. There was a guy that used to be the doorman at the Improv, and he showed me this cartel video of this guy getting eaten by a pitbull. And it still haunts my dreams. The guy was. He was tied up, arms and legs, and the pitbull was eating his dick. The pitbull was just completely locked on this guy's crotch.

[Joe Rogan]

This guy was screaming michael dick.

[Mark Normand]

And he goes, hey, man, check this out. This. My friend sent me this from the cartel. And I'm like, why are you showing me this? I have to go do on stage. 12 minutes.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, damn, damn.

[Jamie Lee]

I was trying to do the sound. I couldn't do it in my head I was thinking about doing it. I couldn't think of it.

[Joe Rogan]

That was damn good. Michael Winslow.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, just this giant headed pitbull was locked on this guy's dick and he was screaming and I've never forgot it.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, it's. It's.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

The Internet hit us at different ages like that. Cuz I got hit with those when I was young.

[Shane Gillis]

You're right.

[Jamie Lee]

And I was like, that's enough.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they're not fun.

[Jamie Lee]

But if I was an adult and somebody showed me something horrific like that. That does stick with you.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, me and Sagura, we have a text chain. Yeah, it's the worst that either one of us find on the Internet.

[Jamie Lee]

They don't really toss those around anymore. The cartel videos.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, this was.

[Jamie Lee]

You got to find those.

[Mark Normand]

This was someone who was a cop, sent it to this guy and then this guy showed me.

[Joe Rogan]

God, the cops must see.

[Shane Gillis]

All right, tough.

[Mark Normand]

They need the ibogaine.

[Joe Rogan]

They got a high suicide.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, very high, very high.

[Mark Normand]

We all first responders. They all have much higher suicide rates in general population.

[Shane Gillis]

That's not normal to see that much.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

Damage.

[Mark Normand]

Imagine you're a guy who just shows up at car. Car accidents every day.

[Shane Gillis]

Every day you see one, you're like, I gotta go to therapy.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Shane Gillis]

Three a week.

[Mark Normand]

Legs and splatter and dead babies and moms have somebody.

[Shane Gillis]

Am I gonna be okay? And you're like. You look at his arm and leg over there and you're like.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. And people hate you on top of that.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Joe Rogan]

That sucks. You can't. You can't win.

[Mark Normand]

Especially cops. But first responders, people don't.

[Shane Gillis]

Nobody really hates ambulance drivers.

[Mark Normand]

No, no.

[Joe Rogan]

Or firemen.

[Shane Gillis]

Or firemen. Yeah, well, crooked.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Jamie Lee]

They're not.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Boys, we got to wrap this up.

[Jamie Lee]

I don't think it'll be three hours ago. We just start.

[Shane Gillis]

We just started.

[Joe Rogan]

We're just going to go. J's drunk.

[Jamie Lee]

You're not going anywhere, brother. You're going to bong another beer.

[Mark Normand]

I got to do a thing soon.

[Jamie Lee]

What do you have to think?

[Mark Normand]

I got to do a thing on my. You got to do a thing tonight? Yeah, I got to go to a thing.

[Joe Rogan]

You got to re a boo.

[Shane Gillis]

Can't be drunk for this. You can bong one more and then that's it.

[Joe Rogan]

What do you got? A. A class play?

[Mark Normand]

A thing. I got to go to a thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Show and test. You can bong a beer pta.

[Mark Normand]

I can't. I can't not. I gotta be out of here in a little bit.

[Joe Rogan]

Talent show.

[Shane Gillis]

I go to the bathroom one more time. But we're not ending here.

[Mark Normand]

How many times you gone to the bathroom? You already on three.

[Joe Rogan]

I've gone once. You dirty.

[Shane Gillis]

You drink Competition with you. Yeah, you dream sipping a bullseye.

[Jamie Lee]

I haven't even seen you refill.

[Joe Rogan]

I make the noise every time.

[Jamie Lee]

Twice.

[Shane Gillis]

True twice.

[Jamie Lee]

I remember the noise twice.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, so nice to be back, boys. It is.

[Joe Rogan]

It is good to be back.

[Mark Normand]

This is so fun.

[Joe Rogan]

Speak out of school, but this might be the best one.

[Mark Normand]

We missed you, dude. It was weird not knowing where you were. It was very uncomfortable. I didn't like it.

[Jamie Lee]

Sorry. I was completely fine with it.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, when I texted you when I was back, you're like, who is this? I was just like, hey, it's the Jew. I say very specific things like, who is this? Like, you know the. It is.

[Jamie Lee]

You're like, yes, well, I still get a billion.

[Mark Normand]

I started getting text messages from an unknown number. They like new things about me. I'm like, who the is this?

[Joe Rogan]

Yes, you did that.

[Mark Normand]

But I've been meaning to change my phone number for so long. Like every time a new one comes in, I'm like, oh, this.

[Jamie Lee]

I got the same one since 17.

[Mark Normand]

Here we go.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, here we go.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, tits. This is Moscows. No, this is Florida. Oakland Coliseum. Oakland.

[Shane Gillis]

Oakland Coliseum.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oakland was light.

[Shane Gillis]

This what the Raiders played.

[Mark Normand]

I will never get tired of the song.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

I'll never get tired of this song.

[Joe Rogan]

We can't go out on this cuz they can't hear it.

[Jamie Lee]

You got bong one. Wait, they actually. They're not allowed to hear this.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes they see what happens.

[Joe Rogan]

But. Yeah, that's. That's a hell of a tune.

[Jamie Lee]

Let's get JMO1.

[Mark Normand]

I went to see them recently and se the whole game.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But it's like, like so many people are dead, right?

[Shane Gillis]

You got to see it when they're all there. It's like, yeah, it's.

[Mark Normand]

It's like it's a tribute band a little bit. But they did great. It was still the great songs. But party is like, I wish the real guys were alive. It's like if you want to see a. A Hendrix tribute band, you just get.

[Shane Gillis]

Tribute band.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you just get sad. Like, I missed Hendrix.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't want to step again.

[Mark Normand]

We know what's weird is like Journey. They have like that guy Steve what is his name? The lead singer of Journey. Steve Perry. He's still alive? Yeah. And he doesn't sing for Journey anymore. There's another guy who sings for Journey. He's like a Filipino place drummer.

[Shane Gillis]

You could place guitars. You cannot replace lead singer, right? No way.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Front man.

[Jamie Lee]

Although I saw a Foreigner.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Jamie Lee]

With the new guy.

[Mark Normand]

How was it?

[Jamie Lee]

I was so excited.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

See jukebox here? Bit little A live. I saw that, bro. I saw Foreigner, Sticks and Death Leopard. I was there for Foreigner, and then I worked in a factory the next day at 4am Damn. Sucked.

[Joe Rogan]

What kind of factory? What were you making?

[Jamie Lee]

I shoveled glue into a machine for 12 hours the next day.

[Joe Rogan]

Glue.

[Mark Normand]

Glues throw up.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

We were making the packaging.

[Mark Normand]

Glue.

[Jamie Lee]

We made the packaging.

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you get free ice cream?

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy. Crazy.

[Jamie Lee]

You could stick your hand in the ice cream.

[Shane Gillis]

We don't make ice cream you love.

[Mark Normand]

We make the ice cream, glue it to a machine.

[Joe Rogan]

Sounds like a sex doll.

[Jamie Lee]

It was. Yeah. A lot of glue.

[Mark Normand]

All right, when. When do you decide when you're going to do these walkabouts? Like, how far out?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, in advance. Probably like a year.

[Mark Normand]

So, like, how much time between now and the next walkabout?

[Shane Gillis]

No plans for the next one.

[Joe Rogan]

You've done Asia. You've done South America.

[Shane Gillis]

Russ. No interest in Russia.

[Mark Normand]

Go get arrested.

[Shane Gillis]

Africa.

[Jamie Lee]

Do it.

[Joe Rogan]

Go to Ghana.

[Mark Normand]

Go to Ghana.

[Joe Rogan]

Go to. Go to Gaza.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know where it be next.

[Joe Rogan]

I dare you.

[Shane Gillis]

Gaza's got no good coffee shops.

[Mark Normand]

Not anymore.

[Joe Rogan]

They're. They're roasty.

[Jamie Lee]

They do.

[Shane Gillis]

They did. They definitely did.

[Mark Normand]

Christ, the cup off the cuff.

[Shane Gillis]

You son of a. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Where else could you.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, where? You've done everything.

[Shane Gillis]

I want to go back to Asia. There's more of Asia.

[Joe Rogan]

Philippines.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. I really want to go to Philippines.

[Mark Normand]

Bombshell, Sex harassment suit against. Who's that guy?

[Joe Rogan]

Lorna. Videos. Nothing.

[Mark Normand]

JP Morgan branded. Complete fabrication. As John Doe Unmasked. What is. What is this you're showing us?

[Joe Rogan]

We're talking about earlier today.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, with the lady.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That's the guy who made up the story.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, that's the guy.

[Joe Rogan]

That's the guy.

[Mark Normand]

This is the guy.

[Jamie Lee]

I knew it was fabricated.

[Mark Normand]

Everything is fabricated.

[Joe Rogan]

Let me see the guy.

[Mark Normand]

So what is this?

[Joe Rogan]

Indian Jared Fogel. Oh, hello.

[Jamie Lee]

Think of her being, like, not bad

[Mark Normand]

wood, but imagine her, she's walking around and everybody thinks that she said those horrible things and talked about it. Tiffany. Like they're cannons.

[Joe Rogan]

Cannon.

[Shane Gillis]

I'M so sorry you're feeling embarrassed about your bush.

[Mark Normand]

So this guy just made it all up?

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, look at it.

[Mark Normand]

Is that the alleged face?

[Joe Rogan]

Come on. The virgin.

[Shane Gillis]

He's got a Leno nose.

[Joe Rogan]

He does.

[Jamie Lee]

Have you seen this?

[Mark Normand]

Have you heard about deleted court papers?

[Joe Rogan]

Ah, the cannons.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, he fell down a hill.

[Jamie Lee]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Even turned up unannounced at Rana's apartment and forced him to have sex. Oh, that was the. The. That was the.

[Joe Rogan]

That was the lie.

[Mark Normand]

It was a lie.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, good for her. She's been exonerated.

[Shane Gillis]

Lady gotta force you to have sex.

[Mark Normand]

She categorically denies the allegation. She never engaged in any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind and has never been to the loco location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place. It's not sexual assault if a girl knows.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. What if he forced you?

[Mark Normand]

Like, what are we talking about? Come on.

[Shane Gillis]

Does it. Come on 20 times in a row

[Mark Normand]

sexually assault the guy?

[Joe Rogan]

I lost my virginity to a hooker when I was 16. She was probably 50. It was the best night of my life. I'm a survivor.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man.

[Jamie Lee]

Look at. They're posting pretty pictures.

[Joe Rogan]

What about Winona Ryder? You heard about Heroquai?

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

And her Used to. And he said I couldn't keep up with her. She wanted to bang so much.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

It was like annoying.

[Shane Gillis]

Jamar requires making a comeback.

[Joe Rogan]

I believe that story. Yeah, I know.

[Mark Normand]

Think about it.

[Joe Rogan]

He said she had huge tits and it was a problem. They were bigger than they looked pulled up. J. I trained for that.

[Jamie Lee]

You got to work out. You got to go.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey.

[Mark Normand]

You got to be prepared for that level of the game.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lee]

He wasn't ready. The. The lights were too bright.

[Mark Normand]

How crazy is that Nona Rider? Like, imagine kicking her out of bed like you want to too much.

[Joe Rogan]

And this is like 30 years ago about it.

[Shane Gillis]

You go to Jamar. Corai. Jamie, Delete that.

[Jamie Lee]

Jamie.

[Shane Gillis]

Nope.

[Joe Rogan]

No, keep it in.

[Mark Normand]

Keep it.

[Jamie Lee]

It was actually good, but you're just. It's your likability is the issue. A really good joke. If I said it, we'd all be going.

[Mark Normand]

Be quiet.

[Joe Rogan]

Such a weird name.

[Mark Normand]

What was his big song? He had that one really good song.

[Joe Rogan]

Virtual insanity.

[Mark Normand]

It sick ass music video Dance are really cool.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

No Jamar.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that one.

[Mark Normand]

What was the song?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, huge Mommy Milkers is what he said about her tits. There's a bunch of memes going around. So the.

[Shane Gillis]

No, that.

[Mark Normand]

Are we sure that this is true, though? Did he really say this?

[Joe Rogan]

There it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Mommy. What's a mommy Milker, the memes about

[Mark Normand]

the shocking viral story. Look how hot she was.

[Joe Rogan]

She was very.

[Mark Normand]

She was hot. And she liked to shoplift. She's your kind of girl, Nora.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. Big fan.

[Mark Normand]

Shoplift together.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. I'll show her some strange things.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Her boobs are too big. And she wanted to have sex all the. Why did they have to cross out sex?

[Mark Normand]

What happened to America? An algorithm thing. It's just like, things don't get suppressed. I know, but it's too big. What's everything.

[Joe Rogan]

What does that mean?

[Mark Normand]

You know, in on Tik Tok, you can't use a juice box emoji.

[Joe Rogan]

That's right.

[Mark Normand]

People use using it for the Jew.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes, but we love juice boxes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but they don't talk about free juice box, buddy.

[Shane Gillis]

Jews are all about that.

[Mark Normand]

But now the Jews own Tik Tok.

[Joe Rogan]

That's right.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

I think. Did it go through?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. What's that guy.

[Shane Gillis]

But they took it from China.

[Mark Normand]

They purchased it at a reasonable rate.

[Joe Rogan]

Ellison.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Ellison's Jewish.

[Joe Rogan]

You got to see that face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Larry the Mug. It looks like his mantle.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I think. Well, like, they own Tik Tok now. And I think they're trying to own the weather. Abc.

[Joe Rogan]

The weather.

[Mark Normand]

That was that thing true about Iran that, like, they. They shot down some weather station, then all a sudden started raining like crazy in Iran. Oh, but then I read that that's horseshit and that they had the same amount of rain every. Every year.

[Jamie Lee]

So that's the thing. You can't buy into all those. Those are conspiracies created by.

[Joe Rogan]

Aha.

[Shane Gillis]

You guys are hilarious.

[Jamie Lee]

They go, you guys are dumb. As you'll believe, we created the weather.

[Mark Normand]

Well, and then when you say that.

[Jamie Lee]

Control it, of course. But then you go, but you definitely bombed kids. And that's not a conspiracy.

[Mark Normand]

Right? But also, they bombed everybody to.

[Shane Gillis]

The Jerusalem Post has bombed way more children.

[Joe Rogan]

Stole.

[Mark Normand]

What do you mean?

[Shane Gillis]

The United States has killed way more children than what you're talking about.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, but that's true.

[Jamie Lee]

Can we do this the way you guys. The way you guys did? Where it was.

[Mark Normand]

Look at this story.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you guys.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, you're going against the U.S. shane.

[Mark Normand]

Look at this story. As fighting, escalating air corridors were restricted, social media posts alleged that cloud seeding aircraft used by the US and its allies have been grounded, causing stolen rains to return.

[Shane Gillis]

So we've been stealing rains from Iran for a long, long time.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, look at that. Look how dope that building is building Is that an Iranian building?

[Shane Gillis]

Looks like it.

[Mark Normand]

That building is dope as that ain't Cleveland. We should make up. When? When I buy a ranch. When I buy a ranch. We should cause that. Make that our podcast studio.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Don't make it look just like that.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm not sure you want that.

[Jamie Lee]

AI is going to detect it.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe it says something cool.

[Jamie Lee]

Yeah, in Arabic, it says America. America.

[Mark Normand]

The Arabic writing is dope. As though it looks cool. It looks pretty slick. They invented writing. Where'd you hear that?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, numbers, I should say.

[Shane Gillis]

I thought, that's cool.

[Joe Rogan]

They came up with numbers.

[Shane Gillis]

What did Greek do?

[Jamie Lee]

Give them that? But look.

[Shane Gillis]

Thanks, guys. What a great episode we had.

[Joe Rogan]

We had a good run. Hey, should we get dinner? I'm starving.

[Mark Normand]

Fun times. Next one, next one. Two months. Let's do two months. Let's keep them regular. Come on. We're in May right now. Is it May yet? It's close.

[Joe Rogan]

Tomorrow's first.

[Mark Normand]

Tomorrow? Yeah. Today when it comes out, it's May 1st. Go.

[Joe Rogan]

A lot of editing for JMO.

[Mark Normand]

Well, yeah, just the end part.

[Shane Gillis]

Speaking of the end. [e-mail] right now. Starring Shane Gillis and Mark Norman.

[Mark Normand]

Available at Ari Shafir. There it is. The end.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at all those people. Look how terrible.

[Mark Normand]

Look at you, handsome son of a. You belong in that period of time.

[Joe Rogan]

I wish. I got. I got a Netflix special out. Check it out. Let's bump it back up. And Tuesday stories. We might be drunk Jews killed.

[Mark Normand]

Jesus tires. New season. When's new season coming out?

[Jamie Lee]

I don't know if I'm allowed to say. Should be around August.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Love you guys.

[Mark Normand]

Shout out to everybody out there listening.

[Joe Rogan]

The parks are safe.

[Mark Normand]

Jihad.