#2512 - Joey Diaz

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #2512 - Joey Diaz

Release Date: June 10, 2026
Guests: Joey Diaz
Host: Joe Rogan

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Episode Overview

In this classic, hilarious, and deeply personal conversation, Joe Rogan welcomes back legendary comedian and storyteller Joey Diaz. The episode wends from health and recovery after knee surgery, to wild tales of the old days in comedy, raucous stories from Joey’s past, observations on changes in stand-up, UFC, and larger cultural shifts. There are reflections on addiction, redemption, generational changes, and the unpredictable nature of chasing a creative dream. As always, Joey’s unvarnished honesty and infectious enthusiasm set the tone, with Joe riffing along, adding context, humor, and unique insights.

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1. Health, Recovery & Getting Older

[02:10 – 16:40]

Joey’s Knee Surgery and Recovery:

• Joey just had knee surgery and was stunned at how quickly he was up and moving. (“It was like three days, man.” [02:15])
• Recovery tools discussed: edibles for pain, Voltaren (arthritis cream), and flight survival stories.
• Joey rubs Voltaren gel on his knee: “It’s like a fucking gel with cocaine that takes care of the fucking situation for you.” [03:15]
• Joe dives into human growth hormone origins, the dangers of old-school performance-enhancers, and Lyle Alzado’s tragic story.

Notable Moment:
Joey describing post-surgery travel:
“I ate the edibles and I asked the fucking flight attendant if she’d give me some ice... Then you rub it with that vortam shit, that liquid cocaine juice.” [02:29]

On Getting Older:
Joey talks about needing eight hours of sleep and daily naps now.
“I need eight now. Sorry. I need eight.” [49:52]

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2. Addiction, Drugs, and Methods to “Cheat the System”

[09:07 – 16:28, 53:00 – 63:13]

Stories from Joey:

• Wild tales about buying weed and mushrooms in New Jersey and Atlantic City.
• Encounter with a homeless man who expertly hustled Joey out of $10: “I gave him a ten. This motherfucker ran–he walked up with a limp, but he ran away like he was going right for crack.” [11:38]

Evading Drug Tests:

• Joey recounts insane efforts to pass probation drug tests: Certo (pectin), vinegar, buying “fetish urine,” using Drano, and homemade contraptions to simulate clean urine samples.
• “Nothing works! Cranberry juice… Sirto… One day I was at a pool…I took one of those cubes first, smashed it up, and then put it on the outside of my dick because I’m uncircumcised.” [59:53]
• Joe and Joey discuss the extremes people go to in addiction: inserting fake urine through a catheter, the rubber “wizard” for urine tests, and more.

Notable Quote:
“They can’t handle me there either. They were like, dog, just go home. We’re not gonna fuck with you no more. And that’s what you do. You just wear somebody rag and they’ll let you go. Eventually, they’ll just say, you know what, man? It ain’t worth it. You’re never gonna stop.” [64:08]

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3. The Evolution of Stand-Up Comedy and The Hustle

[21:29 – 28:29, 73:09 – 88:54]

Creativity and Performance:

• Joey credits THC with inspiring comedic creativity and the ability to loosen up, both for performances and acting auditions.
  • “Whenever I have an audition…I get stoned, and then I go back and I look at it again. Completely different sheet.” [21:13]
• On bombing versus killing: making an audience laugh is an exchange of joy.
• Joey reflects on how his comedy journey was never about chasing riches but about “making a living” and “surviving.”
• Both comics reminisce about grinding in the early days, doing $15 sets, hustling between gigs, and having no safety net.

On Stand-Up Evolution:

• Stand-up’s landscape has shifted, especially with the internet and podcasting. Joey credits podcasting with letting his real personality come out and breaking through.
• Reflecting on open mics and starting out: “How am I going to do this? I’m married with a kid.” [97:01]—getting to that first stage was huge.
• Joey’s career flipped when he let go of focusing on written jokes and just started treating the audience like friends in the parking lot.

Notable Quote:
“Your material sucks. I’ve heard it already. So I would do better when I went up there just with one thought and attacked it…I was too focused on material…Just relax.” [87:13]

Memorable Anecdotes:

• Joe and Joey swap favorite comedy club memories (Comedy Store, Laugh Factory, Improv), confrontations and growing through adversity (e.g., Joey kicking an insulting cook at the Improv).
• Reflections on helping other comics, the importance of kindness, and the surprise of longevity and success.

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4. UFC, Martial Arts & Training

[27:13 – 41:01, 140:17 – 142:33]

Fight Talk:

• Preview and analysis for the upcoming UFC card at the White House.
• Joe breaks down Ilya Topuria’s legendary winning streak; Joey asks about betting odds and DraftKings.
• Tangents into old-school fighting, Chuck Norris, the evolution of martial arts in America, and the impact of UFC on popularizing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
• Joey on MMA vs. old boxing brawlers: “He fights like a pit bull. Like, no concern for his safety. Just dive in. It was a fucking crazy fight.” [30:11]
• Joey shares post-surgery training techniques; both discuss advancements in sports medicine, stem cells, and supplements.

Notable Quote:
“I would go to weigh-ins with you and these guys would come in looking like they had cancer…they were dead.” [35:17]

Classic Story:
Matt Serra’s viral video gently subduing a drunk in a casino—“He’s just mounting you, laughing. Like you think about picking on the wrong guy.” [141:42]

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5. Supplements, Wellness, and Aging

[47:59 – 53:52]

• Wide-ranging chat about nootropics, ketone drinks, creatine, beta-alanine, and other “brain vitamins.”
• Joey: “I need 8 hours of sleep. Six and a half don’t cut it.” [49:52]
• Warnings about supplement quality: “You’re not making these gummy bears in the same labs they’re making Tylenol.” [17:48]
• Candid discussion of aches, pains, surgeries, and the trials of aging; comedic moments about peeing on road trips and using handicapped parking: “You don’t know what life is till you have handicapped parking, dog.” [98:13]

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6. Joey’s Wild Past: Prison, Hustling, and Boulder, CO

[63:13 – 70:11]

• Joey confesses the guilt he feels about his wild, criminal younger years in Boulder—stealing, hustling, stirring chaos in a peace-loving place.
• “Everybody’s so, like, peaceful and sweet. I brought chaos…in the prison, I brought chaos.” [67:29]
• Anecdotes about stealing, scam returns at Kmart, Toys R Us “Jeffrey Bucks,” and extorting small business owners by playing into mafia stereotypes.

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7. Reflections on Comedy, Goals, and Generational Change

[72:28 – 83:56]

• Joe and Joey both stress how neither expected wealth or fame—the original goal was just paying for meals and survival.
• “That was paid by a dream. Not a job. Not something my family did. I wasn’t forced into it.” [73:44]
• On persistence: “How many people do we know that quit?” [75:45]
• Realization that generosity and helping others is “kind of selfish, because you feel better too.” [77:09]

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8. Culture, Cuba, and America

[146:13 – 154:38]

• Extended deep-dive into Cuba’s political situation: the U.S. starving the country, indicting Raul Castro, and possibly prepping for a takeover.
• Insights into the rise and fall of mob-run Havana, what might happen if the U.S. reopens Cuba for business, and historical cycles of exploitation.
• Joey: “They’re not gonna be happy till they have a Starbucks in Cuba.” [148:47]
• Speculation about massive changes fast approaching for the island: “Cuba’s got two weeks left…They’re gonna invade.” [152:24]

Notable Quote:
“My mother would tell me how all those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba, especially Rock Hudson…There was no TMZ, there was no press.” [157:58]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time | Notes | |---|---|---| | Knee surgery, pain management | 02:10 – 04:00 | Edibles, Voltaren, travel | | Lyle Alzado, drugs in sports | 04:26 – 07:24 | Dangerous practices, effects | | Drug test evasion stories | 53:00 – 63:13 | Certo, urine, Drano | | Comedy hustle, turning point | 73:09 – 88:54 | Stand-up, podcasting impact | | UFC breakdown, martial arts | 27:13 – 41:01 | Topuria, Gaethje, brawlers | | Supplements, wellness | 47:59 – 53:52 | Creatine, beta-alanine, sleep | | Cuba, politics, mob | 146:13 – 154:38 | Starvation, pending “takeover” | | Comedy club stories | 124:07 – 126:41 | Laugh Factory, Greenblatts, Improv |

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Notable Quotes

• Joey Diaz [21:13]: “THC makes me just relax. Look, I live in anxiety naturally. I beat myself up this morning. It's 8:30. I'm drinking coffee outside the Four Seasons. I'm like, why my heart beat? Cause I thought I had somewhere to go. Duh. I got nowhere to go.”
• Joe Rogan [73:09]: “When you got into this, you just wanted to survive, never mind the fucking house and cars. And you never dreamed that this would stand up.”
• Joey Diaz [63:13]: “You just wear somebody rag and they’ll let you go. Eventually they’ll just say, you know what, man? It ain’t worth it. You’re never gonna stop.”
• Joe Rogan [88:54]: “Mooney taught us a lot…always new. Any time new was going on the news, he had ten solid minutes on it, and quick.”
• Joey Diaz [154:15]: “So she was so brainwashed…she was still my sister, but I couldn’t help her.”

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Episode Themes

• Health, aging, and the evolution of treatment and recovery.
• Unfiltered stories of addiction, hustling, and the struggle to “make it.”
• The reality and unpredictability of a career in the arts.
• How comedy and podcasting democratized the entertainment industry.
• Value of persistence, kindness, generosity, and the role of karma.
• Reflections on American culture, the criminal underworld, and geopolitics.
• The pace of change—technological, cultural, and personal.

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Final Thoughts

This marathon Joe Rogan & Joey Diaz episode is a wild, inspiring, and moving testament to resilience, redemption, and the unpredictable ways a life in comedy (and America) unfolds. Both men reflect expansively on personal mistakes, hard lessons, outrageous adventures, and life’s small pleasures—all balanced with streetwise insights and Joey’s signature comedic bravado.

Recommended for fans of raw honesty, deep dives into the world of stand-up, and unforgettable storytelling that oscillates between the ridiculous and the profound.

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Find Joey Diaz:

• Website: [joeydiaz.com or .net] (“I don’t know anymore.” [166:47])
• Upcoming shows: Ocean’s Casino, Atlantic City, August 7-8.

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(Advertisements, intros, outros, and sponsor reads excluded from summary.)

Transcript

[Joe Rogan]

This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is brought to you by Paramount plus UFC history is going down at the White House. It's the world's greatest fights on America's biggest stage. Watch UFC Freedom 250 at the White House live on June 14th only on Paramount Plus. This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. When you hire a landscaper to create your perfect outdoor oasis, you want someone who cares. That's true for every role you hire for. And luck. Luckily, it just got easier to find that thanks to ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com Rogan Longtime listeners, you might already know that ZipRecruiter uses powerful matching technology to find qualified candidates fast. But now they also have a new feature that shows you candidates who are interested in your role first. You can even hear why, in their own words. Find candidates who really want your job on ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan that ziprecruiter.com/rogan. Meet your match at ZipRecruiter. What did you steal? Secrets Disclosure Day is Steven Spielberg's best film in 20 years.

[Joey Diaz]

Are they people? No.

[Joe Rogan]

Are they human? My God, Spielberg does this better than anybody in history.

[Joey Diaz]

I can see them. They're coming. Disclosure day. Rated PG13.

[Joe Rogan]

Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

[Joey Diaz]

In theaters Friday.

[Joe Rogan]

Get tickets now.

[Joey Diaz]

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

[Joe Rogan]

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day.

[Joey Diaz]

All right, brother.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey, what's happening? What's going on?

[Joey Diaz]

Same shit. Great to be here.

[Joe Rogan]

Great to see you.

[Joey Diaz]

How you feeling? Like a tip top fucking magoo.

[Joe Rogan]

Your knee. I can't believe you could walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again.

[Joey Diaz]

It was like three days, man.

[Joe Rogan]

That's nuts.

[Joey Diaz]

But yesterday I fucked it up at Newark Airport because I wanted to walk, you know? But it was like I walk every day at the gym, and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast and after dinner. But that's a loop, you know, this was 10 loops yesterday, so thank God I had a baggie with edibles with me on the plane. I ate the edibles and I asked the fucking flight attendant if she'd give me some ice, and that's how I got it down. Then you rub it with that vortam shit, that liquid cocaine juice.

[Joe Rogan]

That's what.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, there's a cream that Became illegal. You buy it over the counter.

[Joe Rogan]

What is that?

[Joey Diaz]

It's Vora something. Don't quote me, man, but it's a good cream. It numbs your eye. You have to rub it, though, twice a day.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. But it fucking feels fantastic.

[Joe Rogan]

Never heard of it.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Voltron, Voltrant.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Joey Diaz]

Don't listen to me, though. Just Google.

[Joe Rogan]

What's the. Is that it?

[Joey Diaz]

That it?

[Joe Rogan]

Voltaren.

[Joey Diaz]

See?

[Joe Rogan]

Voltaren. Arthritis pain. And you just rub it on your knee?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, a couple times a day. Anything that hurts.

[Joe Rogan]

What is it?

[Joey Diaz]

It's like a fucking gel with cocaine that takes care of the fucking situation for you.

[Joe Rogan]

Prescription strength, over the counter, non steroidal anti inflammatory that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation and stimulate stiffness. Interesting. I never heard of it before. Widely used for osteoarthritis and muscle aches. Should not be used for acute injuries like simple strains or bruises. Wonder why. Why can't you use it for strains or bruises? Does it say why? That seems weird. Because, like, that's what people use, like ibuprofen. And for. I wonder why you can't use, like.

[Joey Diaz]

I couldn't use any of that. I could only use Tylenol, whatever the fuck that is. I couldn't take ibuprofen after the surgery.

[Joe Rogan]

No. Have you ever used dmso?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know what that is, Chuck.

[Joe Rogan]

It's this shit right here.

[Joey Diaz]

You rub it on.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that's another horse tranquilizer. Another horse medication. Yeah. They use it in veterinary applications. But it's really good for pain, for pain and injury. Take that. Keep it.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay.

[Joe Rogan]

No, I have a bunch of them. I buy. I buy shit bulk.

[Joey Diaz]

We were talking about Lala Zado. Yeah, that was the early steroids, which were the 70s.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You know what the fuck we were getting in the 70s? Everything came from Germany, I think. I think they were obliging all that shit.

[Joe Rogan]

I think they were getting human growth hormone from cadavers. See if that's true. Jamie put that into our AI sponsor, Perplexity. Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers? I think they did. I think that's how they used to get it.

[Joey Diaz]

Where do you get human growth hormone from? Now?

[Joe Rogan]

That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know how they do it. It's synthetic. I know it's synthetic. So it must be. They isolate the molecule, they figure out how to reproduce it, and then they make it somehow. I have no idea. But the way they used to do it Back then, cadaver derived human growth hormone was real used mid-1900s to 1985 and turned out to be dangerous because it's sometimes transmitt prion diseases like Cruxfeld Jacob. Jacob and is no longer used and has been fully replaced by synthetic recombinant hdh. So Creutzfeld Jakob disease, that's mad cow disease. It's the same kind of disease and when it comes from is the same thing that cannibals get. When people eat human brain tissue, they get and neurons and that kind of shit, you get this same disease. Alzado was one of the first US sports figures to admit using anabolic steroids. In the last year of his life. As he battled against the brain tumor which eventually caused his death, Al Zada asserted that his steroid use abuse. His steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness. He recounted his steroid abuse in an article Sports Illustrated. I started taking anabolic steroids in 69 and never stopped. Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I was addicting mentally. It was addicting mentally and mentally addicting. 90% of athletes I know are on the stuff. Were not born to be 300 pounds or jump 30ft. I became very violent on the field off it too. I did things only crazy people do. Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy sideswiped my car. I chased him up and down the hills, through the neighborhoods. I did that a lot. I chased a guy, pulled out of his car, beat the hell out of him. But look at me now. I wobble when I walk and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody. You have to give me time to answer questions because I have trouble remembering things. He died at 43. 43 from a.

[Joey Diaz]

Wow. He didn't look good at the end. Like he wore the bandanas.

[Joe Rogan]

Alzana was Jewish. Says he was inducted into the Jewish hall of Fame. What did it say? Go back to that. What I was just reading. International Jewish hall of Fame, Jewish Sports hall of Fame. I didn't even know that existed. Okay. So I don't know if that was that stuff. That growth hormone did that. But.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end. He can't remember. That's the knocks to the head.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And mixed with whatever was going on.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I mean there's everything else. It becomes something else. You know.

[Joe Rogan]

I lied amidst a massive start. That's one of those lies that like everybody, you know, it's like when bodybuilders say they're natural, like shut the up. Nobody's that big. Nobody's that big without help. There's a bunch of goofy guys out there that still try to claim natural. Like, come on, son.

[Joey Diaz]

How many fucking steaks do you eat a day? Like the barbarian brothers. 36 eggs.

[Joe Rogan]

There's some guys that have freak genetics. They have very unusual genetics. And they get real big naturally. But that's rare. That's super, super rare.

[Joey Diaz]

As a matter of fact, I got picked up by an Uber yesterday. Guess who was the driver?

[Joe Rogan]

Who?

[Joey Diaz]

Yoel Romero's nephew.

[Joe Rogan]

No way.

[Joey Diaz]

And he's a judo champion.

[Joe Rogan]

No way.

[Joey Diaz]

He talked in Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes.

[Joe Rogan]

He lives in Jersey or here?

[Joey Diaz]

Right here. He lives in. Because all these Uber drivers are Cuban.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Joey Diaz]

All of them in Austin?

[Joe Rogan]

They're all getting replaced by robots.

[Joey Diaz]

Fuck that. The Cubans, bro. I saw a Cuban yell at a robot a couple last time I was here. He got out of the car yelling at the car, and he realized he got back in the car. My bad.

[Joe Rogan]

That's hilarious.

[Joey Diaz]

The guy cut them off.

[Joe Rogan]

They cut you off all the time. He's fucking way more.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I stay away from those cars.

[Joe Rogan]

They get right in front of you. They're ridiculous.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't trust those cars at all. And I don't see how people sit. I don't. It's not for me, brother.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you hear about that lady? She got into one and a homeless guy was in the back.

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Some guy used the Waymo. He got his luggage out, left the hatch open. Probably figured the thing closed itself. It didn't. Homeless guy hopped in, shut the door, lady gets the Waymo. There's a homeless guy in the back. He starts yelling at her for paying robots. Why you paying robots?

[Joey Diaz]

I gotta tell you about my homeless situation this week, Joe. Oh, no. So my daughter played at Egg harbor this weekend. It's like 25 minutes outside of Atlantic City, which is an hour and a half from my house. So we went down for Saturday's tournament, Day one. Now we got two more games on Sunday, so we got a hotel. I didn't want to get a hotel at Ocean's. I'm going to be at Ocean's in August. But I didn't want to go there because all the other parents were in fucking Harris. So I said, fuck it. I don't want to be that guy. I'll stay at Harris with you. So the game ended, and my wife had to drive the kids somewhere. And I go, you know what? Cause every weekend when I go on those little trips, I Go to a weed store. Like last week, I went into one in Trenton, Doc. This was a block from the state capitol. You could see the dome. The black guy called me back, and he goes, no, no, no. I got a secret place in the back. He had mushrooms, mushroom, chocolate.

[Joe Rogan]

Don't say this. You're gonna.

[Joey Diaz]

You guys gonna get in Trouble, dog. There's 18 stores in, and, you know, you gotta figure it out. I'm not ratting nobody out. They know what's going on. The cops, they got a. I mean, they had packaged mushrooms, all different flavors. Gru, Hawaii, the whole thing. This week, I go to Atlantic City. I go to this one, Everell, whatever. It's supposed to be the big one.

[Joe Rogan]

The big one.

[Joey Diaz]

The big wheat store in Atlantic City. And it's right by the casino. So as I pull up, I park my car in front. As I walk out, there's four yoked brothers, yoked with gold chains on and one of those fucking suburban millionaire cars. What do you call the big truck?

[Joe Rogan]

Escalades.

[Joey Diaz]

No, the other one. The one that looks like they're attacking your town. Not the.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh AMG G Wagons.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't fucking know. Anyway, they're in there. They're in there bumping shit. And they see me and they go, yo, we know you. And I go, yeah, what up, brother? Hold on. I'll catch you on the way out. I thought by the time I got out, they would leave, right? So I went in, I come out, and they're all outside their cars, all four brothers. Yo. Big gold chains like, yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on Rogan. Nah, that's the motherfucker from the longest yard. We looked you up. So they're talking to me, talking to me. We're rocking and rolling. Rogan the ufc, yo, what do you think about that? And I'm loving it. But in the middle of all this, this black, little homeless crackhead walks his way over. And I could hear him ask the other guy, who's this white motherfucker? And the black guy goes, that's the dude from the Longest Yard. You know, the football movie? The black guy comes over, and I see him walk right over me. He goes, hey, Mr. Football man, why don't you break out a dollar for me? He just bummed me out a dollar. I had to give him 10, I was so fucking embarrassed.

[Joe Rogan]

Why don't you break out a dol.

[Joey Diaz]

Why don't you break out a dollar for me, Mr. Football Star? I gave him a ten. This motherfucker ran he walked up with a limp, but he ran away like he was going right for crack. I'm like, these motherfuckers, they got a game for everything. I love it. I love all that shit, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

It's fun to be around wacky people every now and then. Just people living on the edge.

[Joey Diaz]

But that Atlantic City outside those casinos, bro, that shit's real.

[Joe Rogan]

I saw a drug transaction right on the street when we were down there

[Joey Diaz]

last, bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a hooker get mugged or something like that. Damn, not fucking around. I took a ride Sat night about 10. Just take a little ride, bro. You make a right in some of those corners, you ain't coming back. And I thought by now that at least build up the outside of ac.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it's barely making money. You know, AC doesn't do well. Not like Vegas does. You know what I mean? Like, AC's got some nice spots. You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's going to grow.

[Joey Diaz]

You go to Borgata with the Italians, and the outside's too sketch, the Borgata. All the Italians go down with their white shoes on the week. Hey, it's got old what up, you know. But no, I don't like the Borgata that much. I like the. I like the couple hotels down there.

[Joe Rogan]

There's some nice places.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, we stayed in the Borgata when it first opened. You and I?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Had a gig there. We had a gig there.

[Joe Rogan]

That's right. The thing is, it's not gonna grow like Vegas is, you know, Vegas is crazy. See, when Vegas had a head start, the thing like, if they tried to make Vegas now, ooh, tough sell, tough sell. Too many places to go. You can gamble everywhere. You can gamble on your phone now. But when Vegas was first, there was no casinos in the country, dog. It was just Vegas. And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blow off these atomic bombs and then, you know, we'll put the casinos in.

[Joey Diaz]

What's the difference? We blow ourselves up.

[Joe Rogan]

But then we looked it up, and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. So I'm like, well, what? I guess it was just gangsters. They just bribed people or convinced people there was nothing going on there.

[Joey Diaz]

It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way or something like that.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it's third. Was it in the 30s, right? Was it the 30s, Jamie?

[Joey Diaz]

Then the guy that owned the comic

[Joe Rogan]

store when Vegas was created.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. And the guy that owned the comedy stuff, he was in charge of Vegas and he robbed. And they shot him.

[Joe Rogan]

Same guy as the Comedy Store.

[Joey Diaz]

Same guy as the Comedy Store.

[Joe Rogan]

So he was in charge.

[Joey Diaz]

He's genius. That fucking. That motherfucker was a genius. He got shot because he stole at the end the expenses and.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, is that what it was?

[Joey Diaz]

The casinos, you know, he gave the. In those days, they borrowed money from the unions in Chicago, and then you borrowed that and you worked off those Teamster loans, those Jimmy Hoffa loans, so you had to build on those. Well, the expenses never stopped, Right. And they were like, what the fuck is going on? And he was hanging out with Jane Seymour or something, going back and forth like a millionaire, like a movie star. They. And leg. And they shot him.

[Joe Rogan]

That's why they shot him, I think.

[Joey Diaz]

So they shot him in his house. In his eyeball or something.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, in his eyeball.

[Joey Diaz]

Something like that. I remember that.

[Joe Rogan]

So, yeah, it was a picture of his dead body, allegedly.

[Joey Diaz]

In la, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

That was all because of the casinos, huh?

[Joey Diaz]

But then they made it. You know, it's like when we first went to Denver, the money was too good. I don't give a. If. If it's Jesus and his three disciples, they're gonna take that envelope. It's too good.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you know what? It was going on in the beginning. They weren't allowed to use credit cards, so everything had to be cash.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And it was crazy. So these guys were leaving the. And they bring, like, like, six special forces guys with them. They'd have Green berets and Navy SEALs and, like, armed to the tits, because they're transferring millions of dollars in cash. So the whole thing was nuts, man. It was nuts. I. I read this story about the dilemma, like, these people are making all this money. And the crazy thing is the state was making all that money too, because the taxes on the legal weed. Look this up, please.

[Joey Diaz]

It's amazing.

[Joe Rogan]

I think it was like, 39%.

[Joey Diaz]

It's fucking crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

And everybody was like, sure. Like, you would never accept 39% on alcohol. Never accept 39% on ground beef.

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

But 39% on weed. You're like, I'll take it.

[Joey Diaz]

During the pandemic in la, you had to buy an extra tax to go open. That's why they called them. What do they call those businesses that had to be open?

[Joe Rogan]

Dispensaries?

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, no. They're businesses that. They had a purpose to be open during the Pandemic.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, right. Essential.

[Joey Diaz]

Essential, yeah. They made that essential. But they charge an extra tax, 10% tax.

[Joe Rogan]

They're making so much money off weed in California.

[Joey Diaz]

Look at all the wheat stores. They're starting to close.

[Joe Rogan]

Are they?

[Joey Diaz]

And in Jersey, they created a dilemma because the state convinced them that they had a build and all this shit. So all these places started. You know, you're opening up a shop minus 3 mil. Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get the 3 mil.

[Joe Rogan]

A lot. And not only that, there's a lot of competition. How many wheat stores are in la? It's bananas, bro.

[Joey Diaz]

In Englishtown, New Jersey, there's four of them. And here's where it gets better. They're all on the same block.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Do you. Did you ever go to that place in Inglewood with me back when it was only medical? The Inglewood?

[Joey Diaz]

Well, you should get the lollipops.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. Yeah. I went there one time with you.

[Joe Rogan]

You know the guy that ran that got shot, that dude that we used to deal with? He got shot in that store.

[Joey Diaz]

They killed him?

[Joe Rogan]

No, I think he lived. I'm not sure, though. Look that up. He might have died.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. That's the first place you had the lollipops from on Fear Factor?

[Joe Rogan]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

It was from that guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah. Inglewood Wellness Center. That was in the 90s.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

That was in the days where it was legal. If you had a medical reason, and any medical reason would do. Oh, my feet hurt.

[Joey Diaz]

Get in there, sign them up.

[Joe Rogan]

But anybody who does martial arts has the pain excuse, because everybody's in pain. And it does help you with pain. If you could take aspirin. Thc, like gummies with CBD are phenomenal for aches and pains, man. You remember Dave Foley?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Dave Foley's hand? Of course you do. Dave Foley's hand was all fucked up from arthritis. He started taking CBD and now his hand is full function. CBDs. Amazing.

[Joey Diaz]

CBDs. They just blew it up out of content a couple years ago.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, who knows who's making it and what the quality, right?

[Joey Diaz]

But no, it is.

[Joe Rogan]

That's the things. When things are gray, you get a bunch of douchebags making stuff. You know, I used to have a bit about that, about the gummy bears. Like, they're not making these gummy bears in the same labs, or they're making Tylenol. They're very inconsistent. You get one of them, you swear it's 1,000 milligrams, and the other one feels like, it's like a hundred. They barely make sense. Back in the day, back in, you know, when it was the Wild West,

[Joey Diaz]

I got some 500 milligrams in my pocket. They feel like 500 milligrams.

[Joe Rogan]

Whether you take it now, I don't think you could do that anymore. I'm talking about, like, way back in the day, it was different because way back in the day, there was like. It was the Wild West.

[Joey Diaz]

First of all, way back in the day, they didn't put warnings on this shit.

[Joe Rogan]

No, no.

[Joey Diaz]

You didn't know how many milligrams were in this stuff. And I remember eating a brownie one time and flying up to Pittsburgh in the red eye, and my leg wouldn't stop tapping. Like, it wouldn't stop fucking tapping.

[Joe Rogan]

I remember one time we were on a plane and you had a panic attack, and then you waited like an hour later and then popped two more. I was like, how are you doing that? You're like Joe Rogan.

[Joey Diaz]

I almost got off the plane.

[Joe Rogan]

I couldn't take it. I couldn't breathe. My fucking heart was closing. It was like my chest closing in on me. The walls were closing in. I thought the plane was going to crash. I was freaking out. I almost had turn the plane around,

[Joey Diaz]

but I'm back, baby. You have two more. You have no idea what I put myself through over the years.

[Joe Rogan]

Why do you do that?

[Joey Diaz]

Because I just want to take a chance. Columbus did. I'm sitting at home. It's two in the afternoon. You bought as you're like, let's meet the devil. Let's see what happens. And the only thing that would hold me back is if I had a spot that night.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Then I would tame it and be like a couple hundred milligrams.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't want to go up on stage with too much edible.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes, you do.

[Joe Rogan]

Sometimes.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes, you do. Sometimes you need to.

[Joe Rogan]

It's important sometimes. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Listen up. Bluechew just dropped something wild. They're calling it Blue Chew Gold, and honestly, the name fits. The stuff is setting a whole new standard for performance in the bedroom. It's not your typical blue pill. It combines two ingredients for blood flow with two for mental arousal and connection. It's not just physical. It's the mindset, too. Bluechew gets it. Sex is not just about being able to perform. It's about actually wanting to. And I've got a special deal for you listeners right now. When you buy two months of Bluechew, Gold. You get the third free with the promo code Rogan. You'll also receive an additional 10 off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. Sometimes it's important to go off into the woods, right? Yeah, sometimes you stay on the trail.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, but listen, you filming a special

[Joe Rogan]

stay on the trail.

[Joey Diaz]

Last week I went to do a spot. I figured, Let me wait five weeks. I haven't been on stage since April 18th. Let me go do a spot. I'm nervous. I get down there, there's 50 people. Perfect. Break my cherry. Do it. I got into such a groove, I ended up doing an hour. That was because the edible I took before I went on stage. No material. I told you that. I got nothing, Right? That's it. I'm starting over from scratch. Got nothing. I talked about going to the hospital, and then it just became something else. And at the end, I was up there an hour.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

My leg was starting to fucking throb.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you film it or record it or anything?

[Joey Diaz]

No, I just. I didn't know it was gonna be gold. I just.

[Joe Rogan]

Right, right.

[Joey Diaz]

But that's why thc. Somebody said THC is like a banned substance for comics. Because if you really let it absorb you. And I'm not telling you to smoke, pop, but that's. I had an audition. Whenever I have an audition, I read it, I put it away, I get stoned, and then I go back and I look at it again. Completely different sheet. Now. I can pick out things now I can point. Then I leave it again, I get high and I come back like an hour later. And that's what I think. THC makes me just relax. Look, I live in anxiety. Naturally. Naturally. I beat myself up this morning. It's 8:30. I'm drinking coffee outside the Four Seasons. I'm like, why my heart beat? Cause I thought I had somewhere to go. Duh. I got nowhere to go.

[Joe Rogan]

You just gave yourself anxiety for no reason.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Cause I always think I got somewhere to fucking go at 10 in the morning. That's why when my daughter gets on that bus to school at 7:15, I start blasting. Because then I know I ain't got nowhere to go. Like, you know, you make a list every day and you go, this is what I'm gonna do today. And then you fucking, you know, wake up and you look at that list after you smoke and you're like. Like, that's a long drive up to New York City today. I ain't doing that podcast you know, that's a fucking long drive up into that motherfucker. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

The driving in New York is not a joke. That's an endeavor. Yeah, no, you gotta take a day. Like, that's your day. Your day is driving in and driving out. You're not going to the gym, you're not doing all that other stuff. No, I'm saying if you've got to drive into New Jersey, that's your day. It's not like, oh, I'll go there, that's at noon, I'll hit the gym at 2:30. Uh, no you won't. You'll be in traffic for three hours.

[Joey Diaz]

Three hours. I always go to do that shit early and get it over with. And like on days that I have to go to the city up north, I'll just take that as a day off. Like I work that day before so I could go up there comfortably and not sweat it. Yeah, but it's got some days I get up and I'm like, I'm not going up there. I gotta work out today.

[Joe Rogan]

Listen, this is one of the big things that Texas has, or Austin has in particular over the east coast is the traffic, the traffic. Here's a joke. They talk about traffic, it's adorable. You might be 10 extra minutes, whoop dee doo. It's adorable. Occasionally a car accident happens and there's a bunch of people stopped. That shit happens everywhere in the world. But for the most part, the east coast is so thick with people, you don't realize it until you have to make that trip to New Jersey and back and forth. You know, when we do the UFCs, if we go into New Jersey to the UFC, then with the weigh ins, then we have to go back to

[Joey Diaz]

New York to play pool at 6 o'.

[Joe Rogan]

Clock.

[Joey Diaz]

That's cool.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh my God, it's crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play pool and it's fucking, it's a mad house.

[Joey Diaz]

Think about what it was like the last two weeks. Jim Florentin said he went into the city. Saturday was three hours because of the Nick bullshit. And they weren't even playing. They weren't even playing.

[Joe Rogan]

People were so upset that Trump was going to go to the NBA because if he's there then they have all these crazy security protocols. It makes the traffic even worse.

[Joey Diaz]

There was no parties, there was no nothing.

[Joe Rogan]

He should stick to the ufc. They're going to boo him everywhere else.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, they booed him to death. I didn't watch the whole game. I was out and about.

[Joe Rogan]

Some people Cheered. I heard it was like cheers and booze. But the problem is if there's cheers in any booze, if there's like 50, 50, like, that's. That's. Don't go. Don't go to that spot. Go to the ufc. People say he got booted. The ufc. I've seen him at the UFC six times or something like that. I don't know how many times. Never get booed.

[Joey Diaz]

They can. They love him.

[Joe Rogan]

He's never gotten booed. They cheer the people that say they're. They booing him. You're distorting reality. It's not true. They cheer him like he. He walks in there to the American badass song. Especially if Kid Rock is with him and Dana White's behind him. And then sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too. Back when they were close, it was like the conservative Avengers. It was like, this is ridiculous. They always cheered him.

[Joey Diaz]

He was the kiss of death. Last night, I bet against the Knicks last night. Me and Jamie, we were like, fuck that. Getting two and a half. Why they only giving two and a half? They're up two games. What are you, a retard? Two and a half. They were given last night. Everybody and their mother even fucking your daughter bet the Knicks last night. Giving two and a half.

[Joe Rogan]

Do you bet sports all the time.

[Joey Diaz]

How often do you bet this type of the year? I bet basketball because it's real.

[Joe Rogan]

Do you use an app? Like, what do you do?

[Joey Diaz]

DraftKings.

[Joe Rogan]

DraftKings.

[Joey Diaz]

You do it on DraftKings? Everything is on DraftKings.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't have a bookie?

[Joey Diaz]

No. Yeah, no, I enjoy. Because DraftKings has so many fun. Like, there's bookies out there. Like, they just keep busting these mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39 people had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches that they put the cards up and you could see through the fucking cards on the table. And gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. We're gonna pay for this in five years. But when I went to college, after orientation, you walked out and there was credit card companies, Discover, MasterCard, Visa. And they give you a credit card for being a student for 250 automatic right there. And now when you go to those orientation days, DraftKings is there, you know, the other ones. FanDuel's there, and I'm not putting them down. I love DraftKings, but you're copping these kids. These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans right now. I'm gonna put a fucking thing more People are gambling more than ever.

[Joe Rogan]

Than ever than ever in Australia too. My buddy McCann, you know, James McCann?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

He was talking about how crazy it is in Australia. Yeah, it's. It's. What is those. What's the odds on the Ilia Topuri Justin Gaethje fight at the White House to pick him? Is it. No, no. Topuria has to be a huge favorite. I guarantee Topuria is two to one. Four to one? Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Four to one's crazy. Two to one. If you just think about what he's done in his last three fights, he's had the most legendary run in MMA championship history. In his last three fights, he knocked out three all time greats. Knocks out Alexander Volkanovsky, knocks out Max Holloway, knocks out Charles Oliveira three in a row. Like anybody who could do that, you go, I'm not betting anything against that guy. But Justin Gaethje's a tough character, son.

[Joey Diaz]

So If I bet 25 bucks on Gage, I win 100. 100. 4 to 1.

[Joe Rogan]

4 to 1. Yeah. Which is. Look, it's minus 426 for Toporia. They're like 4 to 1's not enough. Caesar says 600, Caesar says 600. Caesars is smart. But the thing is, man, don't think that Justin Gaethje can't win. Like anybody can lose in an MMA fight. People get hit. Like in Ilyaporia, one of his early fights, I think his first fight in the UFC at lightweight, he took it on short notice and he fought this dude, Jai Herbert, who's a really tall, really good striker. And Jai Herbert caught him with a head kick in the first round. A switch kick to the dome that dropped him. It was perfect. But he recovered. Brilliant. He got a hold of him, took him to the ground, recovered and then came back in devastating knockout in the second round. Like he puts people into orbit, man. His power is crazy. He's not a big guy either, man. Justin's a much bigger guy than him, but the way he knocks guys out, it's just dead. He knocks him out dead. But so does Gaethje. People forgetting Gaethje's a warhammer dude. That guy loves battles. He loves.

[Joey Diaz]

This is not. I don't think it's a tough fight, man. This is a tough fight. I could both this and. This is this Sunday, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Correct, it's this Sunday. Gaethje's bigger. You're going so. Fuck yeah, I'm going so. Gaethje's bigger. Gaethje used to fight at. What was it called? The IFL is that whatever the organization was before the. He came to the ufc? I think it was. It was before the PFL was like, another one. But what was it? What did he. What was the organization? You know, there's these feeder organizations like the pfl, a lot of really good fighters that wind up becoming champions starting out there.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Was that it? World Series of Fighting? That's right. That's what it was. And, I mean, he was fucking people up with leg kicks, but it was the way he was fighting. Would just throw himself into chaos. Like, he. He didn't fight tactically at all back then?

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Like the. You ever see the Michael Johnson fight with him in the ufc?

[Joey Diaz]

A long time? Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's his first fight in the ufc. It's one of the craziest fucking fights ever because he just fucking throws himself at Michael Johnson, and Michael Johnson throws himself right back. It was a. They got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It was a crazy fight, but eventually Justin got him. But it was the way he fought you. Like, good Lord.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. He fights like a pit bull.

[Joe Rogan]

Like a pit bull. Like, no concern for his safety. Just dive in. It was a fucking crazy fight. And look how Dustin is always just trying to kill you. He's always moved. Look at every shot. He's trying to fucking kill you.

[Joey Diaz]

You.

[Joe Rogan]

He's always moving forward, trying to smash you. And the thing is, he relishes this kind of combat so much that in the beginning, he lost some fights that he could have won if he tempered it, and then he did so. And then when he went on this, like, legendary run, started beating everybody, it's really because he controlled the violence a little bit more. He controlled the chaos, but it was still, like, very technical violence. It wasn't like he was brawling dumb. He was just forcing himself into chaos so much. He was throwing himself right into the fire over and over and over again. This is a dangerous fucking guy. He's a dangerous fucking guy for anybody. I mean, he had hit Khabib. He hurt him with some calf kicks. He could do that, too. He leg kicks you from inside the clinch. One of the things that he does really well is from, like, he could get you with, like, a collar tie and he's leg kicking you. He gives him the finger and tells him to get up.

[Joey Diaz]

Up.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, Michael Johnson's getting battered. This is a top fight for him at this point. We're in round two, and look at that knee to the body. Just everything's trying to kill you. It's not like this tactical, take a chance here, take a chance there. No, everything's take a chance. It's like from the very beginning of the fight. And this is how he fight. He eventually took him out, but it was crazy fight.

[Joey Diaz]

He fights like I told you. Haggle used to fight. They weren't thinking about brain damage, right? Hagler, all those dudes were not thinking about that. We were talking about that with football before.

[Joe Rogan]

You know what I just watched the other day? Mustafa Hampshire versus Mustafa Hampshire.

[Joey Diaz]

Did they battle?

[Joe Rogan]

Hagler took him out. But it was just Hagler in his prime.

[Joey Diaz]

He was beautiful, amazing.

[Joe Rogan]

So good. He was so good. And he was so good at switching stances, man, when no one was doing that back then, Hagler would fight southpaw. He would fight orthodox. He would fuck you up. You didn't know where it was coming from. And he could fight just as good southpaw as he could orthodox. It was amazing. It was an amazing fight to watch. Like, God, that guy was great. So disciplined.

[Joey Diaz]

He had some good fights this week. I'm excited for the card. I thought it was Saturday. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Jamie posted up that the Cyril Gone Alex Pereira fight is the closest fight on the card in terms of odds. It's like even odds. And that's a, that's a 0gan's a tall order. That's a tall order for your first heavyweight fight in the ufc. Caesar says that as a pick em. Pick them? Yeah, I would say it's a pick em. I would say it's a pick em. Cyril Gone is really good. And the thing about Cyril Gone is the problems that he's had in fights or when guys take him down, when guys stand with him, he is very tricky, he's very slick, he's very technical. And he's, he's very light on his feet for a big guy. Like, he moves really well, like one of the best movers in the heavyweight division, for sure. He's, he's like dancing on his feet. He also does a weird thing off his front leg. He throws a front kick when he's standing sideways, like in a bladed stance like this. And he picks it up and twists it into your stomach.

[Joey Diaz]

Bang.

[Joe Rogan]

Like that. It's weird.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, it works.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, no, it's a kick. I mean, it's called a twisting kick, twisting kick. It's just, you don't ever see people throwing that kick from the front leg. Like, he does, like, he does a lot of. He does a lot of weird shit that you have to get used to. Like that Tom Aspinall Fight, man. He was, he was scoring very well on the feet and I know it got stopped because of the eye pokes, but before the eye pokes, Cyril Gane was doing very well on the feet against Aspinall, and Aspinall's a big fast heavyweight. It's going to be interesting because I don't, I don't, you know, know if Pereira is going to have an issue with the movement, you know, if he's going to be able to shut that movement down. And I don't know if Cyril gone is going to be able to like, if he's going to want exchange with them. He might feel that power and say, I'm just going to fight on the outside because Pereira's got that you make one mistake power.

[Joey Diaz]

He looks good at heavyweight. He looks like he gained the weight. He looks yoked.

[Joe Rogan]

He's huge. And on top of that, no dieting, so no depleting of his body at all. You're gonna have a guy competing for the first time where he's never had to cut weight. That's huge. That's a giant advantage. Not having to cut weight is like they let you take steroids, you can't, you don't have to cut weight, no cutting weight at all. If they changed weight, cutting, if they cut all weight, cutting out of MMA, you'd have like 20% better performances. People be fighting so much better because they would, they would feel so much healthier, they would be so much more durable. There wouldn't be as many like one shot knockouts where you're like, whoa, that got him. Because a lot of these guys, like their brain is still dehydrated when they're in there fighting. It's only 24 hours after they rehydrate. That's not enough time to get to the brain.

[Joey Diaz]

I would go to weigh ins with you and these guys would come in like they looking like they had cancer.

[Joe Rogan]

They were dead. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I would see him and then they would IV in the back. Then I think they cut out IVs afterwards.

[Joe Rogan]

Cut out IVs.

[Joey Diaz]

I remember being there with you and looking at these guys coming in.

[Joe Rogan]

They were dying.

[Joey Diaz]

They looked like they were on that fucking GOP for 10 years. Like fucking Sharon Osborne's daughter. I mean, they were looking fucked up, Jack.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they looked dead. Some guys looked real. You remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Lueder? Do you remember that fight?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, the jujitsu guy from Texas.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes.

[Joe Rogan]

That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a weigh in.

[Joey Diaz]

He looked really and Again, this was

[Joe Rogan]

not the ceremonial weigh in like we have now. This was like the actual weigh in. See if you can make the weight. And Travis couldn't walk. He was shuffling. He couldn't pick his legs up. His lips were cracked like he. His body was dried out.

[Joey Diaz]

This can't be good for you. And then to pick it back up and then go throw rounds.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly.

[Joey Diaz]

Punches. 8:00 the next night.

[Joe Rogan]

Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted. But he got ahold of Anderson the first round. It took him down, and that's what he wanted to do. And if Travis Jiu jitsu in Texas. Yeah, yeah. Kevin Holland's coach.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Travis is a bad.

[Joey Diaz]

Was a bad.

[Joe Rogan]

He was. When guys rolled with him on the Ultimate Fighter, you know, one of. One of the best compliments. One of the guys said. He goes, dude. He goes, I've rolled with only a couple guys like that. It's like him and Ricardo Laborio. I go, really? I go, that guy feels like Ricardo the boreo. He's that level. He goes. He's like, dude, he was running through people, just running through people on the ground. Travis was a beast. He was one of the first, like, truly elite Brazilian jiu jitsu black belts in, like, the modern era, like the Anderson Silva era. Whereas when he got guys to the ground, you were in trouble. You're in real trouble. There's a few guys. Charles Oliveira is the big one. Charles Oliveira puts people in positions. They're like, oh, no, what have I done? Like, you think you're gonna be comfortable, like, in his guard? Like, you're never gonna be comfortable on the ground with Oliveira. Oliveira is just so dangerous everywhere. Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I've been doing it since they were a kid.

[Joe Rogan]

Yep.

[Joey Diaz]

Almost like us with stand up.

[Joe Rogan]

Great camp. He's from that shoot the box camp. I mean, that camp produced Anderson Silva Marie Ninja Shogun. Like, who else? One of the original MMA fighters back in the bare knuckle days. He was the. The top dude in the original. In the original days. No, Nogueira is not from Shootbox. Nogueira is a Carlson Gracie guy. Those. Was he. He's Carlson Gracie, right?

[Joey Diaz]

No, Carlson's in Chicago.

[Joe Rogan]

No, Noguera wasn't Carlson Gracie. Nogueira was. I don't want to get that wrong. Who was Nogueira's trainer? Minotauro Nogueira. His original Jiu Jitsu coach.

[Joey Diaz]

His fucking brother, probably.

[Joe Rogan]

No, both of them were elite. They were twins.

[Joey Diaz]

They were twins?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they were twins. They were both elite. They're both like world class fighters in pride. Does it say his Jiu Jitsu coach, Minotauro was the first? Like he was the first guy that was like finishing elite guys off of his back in pride. Like he was tapping to like when he was the champion in pride. Like you remember when he beat Bob Sapp?

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Bob Sapp was 350 pounds with ABS and the fight was crazy. He picks Minotauro up and spikes him on his head in the beginning of the fight. Fucked his neck up for years. Like his neck was fucked up after that fight and still survived and eventually caught Bob Sapp at an armbar. But it was bananas. Omri Batetch. Okay, yeah, there you go. Omripitet is another guy who fought early in the ufc. So that's his coach for one. Where did he get his black belt? Just see where he got his black belt from. Just ask the question. Who gave Minotauro his black belt? Let me say. Okay, Ricardo de la Riva. That's his primary instructor. There you go. Okay. Yeah, he was.

[Joey Diaz]

He invented the telehealth probably.

[Joe Rogan]

There's a bunch of moves that are attributed to guys that it's not quite sure whether or not they invented it, but they were really good at it,

[Joey Diaz]

you know, how much fun is that? Getting somebody a Della Heathen, taking them down?

[Joe Rogan]

It's fun.

[Joey Diaz]

I can't finish the leg lock. I never could. I'm fucking terrible. I can't get my arms around it. I'm. My shoulders are up.

[Joe Rogan]

Leg locks are scary.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I don't like all of that shit.

[Joe Rogan]

You them up, you know, you twist the wrong way, you turn the wrong way, you hear things pop e scary.

[Joey Diaz]

You still training no more?

[Joe Rogan]

No, I haven't. Over a year. I haven't done any rowing.

[Joey Diaz]

Coming in with you.

[Joe Rogan]

I was for a while. I got a knee problem. It's much better now. I've been really working on it over the last six months, but it kept swelling after a while. The thing is, it would get better and it would feel pretty good and then I'd hurt it again. And usually I heard it like a year ago hunting, I twisted it hunting. And then I've also heard it like hitting the back too. Like sometimes I just start wailing on

[Joey Diaz]

the back and you forget. Yeah, you forget.

[Joe Rogan]

It's just the next day it's sore as fuck. It's like I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee.

[Joey Diaz]

Knee.

[Joe Rogan]

So I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic. You Know what I mean? Because, like, I don't have to tell you, like, once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem.

[Joey Diaz]

It's a problem.

[Joe Rogan]

And so you gotta, like, walk that edge between when you don't have cartilage or you don't have meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that. Like, you got to be careful. You got to be careful. They're getting real close to fixing, real close. They're injecting, like, different kinds of gels in people's knees now that replace the meniscus. And they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates cartilage.

[Joey Diaz]

That would be better. But that gel, they always work you with that gel.

[Joe Rogan]

I think it's a new one, Joey. It's a. It's like a. It's. They call it a biological matrix.

[Joey Diaz]

You need to fucking get like a. You need to get like insurance approval and all that. Yeah, I did it. That's just all those things. It's like when you see an ad for somebody. Do you have problems sleeping? Buy this mouthpiece for $29.99.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't think you got what they have now because this is just released in Germany. This is brand new.

[Joey Diaz]

But this gel, like, I'm just saying to you, the gel, the cortisol. I have friends with knee problems, and they tell me what they go through and they go to different doctors and it's the same fucking. We got cortisol for you, we got the gel. We're not going to do the prp and we don't do stem cells. So you Joe regular, you don't do no reading. This is what happened to me with the fucking. Why I did this surgery in the first place. You had moved here and I didn't know about ways to. Well, if not, I wouldn't have never cut this knee the first time. Never. Never. I didn't read up on it because when my wife was pregnant, I read up on all that shit. And I didn't want to have the baby no more because it said once you're off at 43, you'll die if you give him birth. Like, if you're not ready when you get older as a woman, you know, now women are having kids at 50s and fucking 55s, but a woman has to be. She has, like a short window. And they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. When I read that, I got nervous for my wife. I'm like, she's gonna die on the fucking table, and I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't know how to fucking raise a girl. You know, what am I gonna do here? So I didn't really. I researched it a little bit after I got the knee, after I went and I saw the fucking. The chisel and the fucking mallet on the table, I go, we gotta look into this when I get out of here. Like, this is fucking insane. I would have never done the redo knee. I would have waited, shot it with stem cell, BPC'd it. At that time, I was still a little fearful of needles. So I was like, BPC'd them. Everything is. You gotta shoot it.

[Joe Rogan]

You're fearful of needles, but not of a knee replacement. That's hilarious.

[Joey Diaz]

No problem. Now I'm fine. It took four stays in the hospital last year to fucking, like, go. One day, they had to come in and take blood out of me every 20 minutes for three hours. Why? It's that type of test. They shoot you with something to see how you react to it. Wow. And dog, I didn't faint one time. I don't faint no more. Unless, like last time, I weighs too well. I went in there hungover on those tequilas from the mothership, drinking that Ron White juice and shit. I went in there with no breakfast, like, we need to take blood out within minutes. I'm pale, I'm sweating profusely. They gotta put ice on my back and on my neck and shit. And when I did the. When they turned the switch off on your leg, what's that? When you do that? Little before surgery, when I first hurt the knee, they said, we're not gonna give you pain medication, but if you're really hurting that bad, come on down here. We'll give you a nerve block.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, they give you a nerve block, Joe Rogan.

[Joey Diaz]

Holy shit.

[Joe Rogan]

Who did that? Where'd they do that?

[Joey Diaz]

Because the. The place where I went for surgery the first time, there's shit. This place is specialized in all that stuff. So they have their own therapy. They have their own, like, the surgeons, and then they have a pain department that they talk to you and they go, listen, you can take this. You want it, we'll give it to you. But let's do this. Let's try it with this. They don't want you. You know, and I understand it. People lose their minds on those fucking things. So I did the nerve block first, Joe. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. And when I went to the doctor about a month ago, the Girl was like, I was there that day when I fainted. She goes, you didn't faint, but you sure came close. She goes, you lost all the color in your face. It's crazy. Joey had to drink water. And then the epidural block. You ever do one of those?

[Joe Rogan]

No. Well, no, I did when I got my knee surgery.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, they always knee surgery. I thought they'd put you out for those.

[Joe Rogan]

They did most of the time, but my first acl, I asked if I could watch, and he said, you don't want to watch it? I go, no, I do. I don't want to. I only want to get this done once. I want to see it. Can I watch it?

[Joey Diaz]

Where'd you see it? And they shot it in a knee. In your spine?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they shot it in my spine.

[Joey Diaz]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

And so you don't feel anything in your legs. And I watched him open my knee up and put it together again.

[Joey Diaz]

Fuck you, Joe. That's. The epidural block is one of the

[Joe Rogan]

worst I wanted to see. I'm like, I don't want to do this once. I didn't know that I was going to have another ACL surgery.

[Joey Diaz]

So you didn't get put out for your surgery?

[Joe Rogan]

No, not the first one. The second one I did.

[Joey Diaz]

That's insane, Joe. That's insane. I love you that you're Zombo and.

[Joe Rogan]

But I wanted to watch.

[Joey Diaz]

Nah, I want to watch a lot of things.

[Joe Rogan]

I want to see what it looks like because it's kind of crazy. They're going to take your knee, take a slice out of your patella tendon, along with a chunk of bone and a chunk of bone for your kneecap. And then they screw it back in place. Like, this is crazy. I want to watch held up. Still good. The real problem was the meniscus. So they didn't even take the meniscus out. Then they just stitched it up. There was a tear in the meniscus, but it wasn't too bad. And he thought it could heal, you know, because I was in my 20s. I was like, 23, I think 22. And then over time, it just got wore out that that tear became a bucket handle tear. And then it would lock. So it would pull. The meniscus would pull up and, like, lock in place. It was fucking insanely painful. And I was like, this keeps happening. It happened a couple of times. It was like it happened in jiu jitsu class. And Eddie Bravo had to take me to the doctor, so Eddie Bravo had to drive my NSX we drove straight to the doctor. And, you know, they tell me I need to get my meniscus removed. I'm like, okay. And then he told me I need to stop doing martial arts. I was like, okay, that's cute.

[Joey Diaz]

That's the first thing they'll tell you.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you got to stop doing martial arts.

[Joey Diaz]

They blame you, everything. No martial arts.

[Joe Rogan]

30 years later.

[Joey Diaz]

You let me get one of those zins. Yeah, the medium ones.

[Joe Rogan]

What are these, Alps? Those are. That's Tucker Carlson's one. It's. Those are good. It's six. Six milligrams. These are threes. This is the athletic nicotine. That's threes. I like those. They don't make you jittery. Those. Those take a hell of a hit. Tucker likes them strong.

[Joey Diaz]

I like them, but they fucking. I always swallow them by mistake. Next, you know, I'm shitting pouches. And I had a pouch. They have focus ones.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that's. That's these ultras.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I do the ultras, but I

[Joe Rogan]

don't have them in this room anymore.

[Joey Diaz]

I was doing those after I had the surgery.

[Joe Rogan]

Those are great.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, they are.

[Joe Rogan]

There's a bunch of really good things for your focus. People that think it's all, you know, like, that nootropics are bullshit and you're allowed to think whatever you want. But trust me, from someone who uses his brain for a living, there's a difference between taking nootropics and not taking them. It's not going to make you smarter, but it'll make your brain function at a better level. There's a bunch of shit that works like that. Like, you know, those, those ketone drinks, like ketone iq. That helps a lot.

[Joey Diaz]

Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Your brain uses ketones. Your brain uses ketones for focus. That's why people that take ketogenic diets and go on carnivore diet, they say it gives them like more mental clarity. You have more. More focus. It's fact like, I feel different when I'm eating, like, clean. If I'm eating like carnivore, just eggs and steak, my brain works better, 100%. It's just not processing the carbs and all the fog that comes with that. Not the carbs are bad for you, but when you take this stuff, this stuff is the shit. This is my friend Derek's gorilla mind. This is a nootropic drink. Energy drink.

[Joey Diaz]

Not.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it's got some caffeine in it. It's got a good amount of caffeine, but it's got A bunch of nootropics. So there's a bunch of like brain vitamins in there.

[Joey Diaz]

You know anything about it?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I'm not selling this. This is my friends.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, I'm not. You know that I have a great memory of dates and I can take you to different situations, stories. I don't know what happened in the last three years. How come if I talk to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays on the way home at 6. Whatever we talked about by Thursday, I don't remember. Like, you'll say, call me back when you find out. I'll fucking forget now. Like, just little things. This is recent.

[Joe Rogan]

This last few years.

[Joey Diaz]

Last few years I could see, you know, you're 60. A lot of shit changes, you know, it's really weird. Joe, I need eight now. I need eight. Sorry. I need eight.

[Joe Rogan]

Eight what?

[Joey Diaz]

Hours of sleep. Eight solid. I got the wound, I need.

[Joe Rogan]

It makes a difference.

[Joey Diaz]

Six and a half don't cut it.

[Joe Rogan]

Done.

[Joey Diaz]

Done. I need eight now. And don't get me started on an hour nap. Well, an hour 15 nap at 2 or 3 o' clock in the afternoon, if I get up in the morning, I get up at 6. So I put her on the bus. I start smoking weed at nine. I'm at a gym. I'm doing something boxing pt, you know. So by fucking two o', clock, dog, there's days I walk in, there ain't no stopping, there ain't no pissing. I go right to the bed, put the mask on and go right to sleep. Just like that. I mean, there's no thought, there's no. Stop it. What is that, Monopoly? Stop it. Go and get 200. Ain't none of that. I come in, I drop my bag, I pee, and I walk right upstairs, right to the bed. I move the cat over, get the fuck over and I fucking put that mask on.

[Joe Rogan]

Does the cat cuddle with you? I see.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, please. And he goes under the blank. She goes under the blank with me too, so it's perfect.

[Joe Rogan]

That's funny.

[Joey Diaz]

But, dog, it's not no more. Like, I'm not flat early no more. Fuck you.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you need. You need a solid amount of sleep. As you get older, it's even more important. You know what else is really important? Creatine.

[Joey Diaz]

I take 10 milligrams twice a day.

[Joe Rogan]

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. That's phenomenal for your memory. And that's a really good nootropic as well.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't like the gummies. I never got. You had some gummies on here.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, those are good. I like them.

[Joey Diaz]

My neighbor gave them to me that you had them.

[Joe Rogan]

I prefer to just open it up, up and pour it in my mouth and then drink water.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, me too. I like the powder, too.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I put, like, the 10 milligrams in my mouth and I just drink.

[Joey Diaz]

You don't put it on your food, do you? No, I put in a smoothie from time to time. I like the raspberries with coconut water.

[Joe Rogan]

The best way to make sure that I'm getting all 10 milligrams is to just pour it in my mouth and then drink water with it. Because otherwise it's in the glass. You got to rinse the glass and get more of it in. You know, you're giving yourself an exact dose. Just put it in your mouth, dry scoop it. So I just dry scoop it in my mouth, then pour the water in there. That's how I do most of the time. What the gummies are really good for is if you forget and they're just laying around, you just eat a couple of gummies, you know?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know how many milligrams are in those, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Half a fucking batch, you know, I think two gummies is 5 milligrams. I think that's what it is.

[Joey Diaz]

I also got turned on to a company that has a creatine precursor.

[Joe Rogan]

Is that a precursor?

[Joey Diaz]

Creatine precursor.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know what that is.

[Joey Diaz]

Your own body creates creatine, right, on its own. This helps.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, interesting.

[Joey Diaz]

The body. I think it's called a precursor. Don't fucking.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Joey Diaz]

Anything I say, just write off with a fucking. You know what I'm saying? I know that because I'm saying it wrong. Like Voltron. I don't fucking know.

[Joe Rogan]

Guys, I'm sure there's something. I mean, there's always a bunch. I mean, there's. If you think about how many supplements are out there. Good Lord, there's so many supplements. And not all of them are good, but a lot of them are really good. Here's another one that's really good for working out. Beta Alanine. You ever take that?

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Phenomenal. Phenomenal.

[Joey Diaz]

Look, I take everything else.

[Joe Rogan]

It makes you tingle, though. Makes your skin.

[Joey Diaz]

Like iodine itch. You ever take iodine?

[Joe Rogan]

No. Iodine?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, like you. There's a pill or something. You take iodine to help you.

[Joe Rogan]

It's supposed to do that if you get radiation poisoning.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, when the first piss test came out, they said you would Take iodine.

[Joe Rogan]

So again, did you put Clorox in your dick?

[Joey Diaz]

I put Clorox in my dick afterward. Because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work, okay?

[Joe Rogan]

Imagine when they ran your piss through the test machine. They'd be like, what. What did. What is this? Do you understand piss?

[Joey Diaz]

Do you understand, like, best times, I go every morning, I go out and take my cup of coffee and I sit outside, I thank God you know the whole story. And then it takes me somewhere, like, after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins and a bang. It. Your mind goes. When I think of chunks of my life, and I go, what the fuck was that? Like, that was Joe. That was insanity. What about every time he used to come to my house to do the checkup? I never let him in. He came like 11 times in two years. I never let him in my house. He wouldn't know I was in the house. He would put the sheriffs to come and sit outside my house for two hours. Then they would leave. They're like, we're not gonna. He's not home. I never let him in my house. I tortured that guy. He could have sent me to prison. I still would have been in prison. But it was such a. Like, first it was the iodine, and then you fucking. You know, you're supposed to take 20 milligrams. I'm eating 200, whatever, I don't know. And my skin is burning. I'm fucking red in the face. I got itchies. So I stopped with the iodine. I still came back positive. Then I went on the fucking white vinegar.

[Joe Rogan]

White vinegar.

[Joey Diaz]

White vinegar with a fucking bottle of Gatorade on a Monday morning. Not a little vinegar. Not red wine vinegar. The real vinegar that you clean your asshole with and douchebags and all that shit. Vinegar cleans you up. That's what women wash their monkey with, vinegar. Because it takes all the fucking cat piss out of there and all the shit they got in there. So they said, drink vinegar every Monday morning, bro. And it's like a process. Like, you would get high Friday and you would hope to beat it by Sunday, but you knew you weren't gonna be there. And they're gonna call you Monday. And it's like your color is yellow, right? Like, if they say yellow, you gotta come in. So you wait till 1 o' clock and you're like, all right, you gotta call in. And all of a sudden, Today, Monday, Tuesday 9 June, the colors are purple and you're like, yellow. God damn. Now I gotta figure out. I got five hours. The place closes at 6, so I gotta figure out how to stop this cocaine from coming up. So then we started taking serto.

[Joe Rogan]

What's surdo?

[Joey Diaz]

Surto is what you put in, like, jello. It's that thing that makes the jello jiggle or something.

[Joe Rogan]

What? Fucking certo.

[Joey Diaz]

There was no Internet these days. These are just.

[Joe Rogan]

What is that? A brand of liquid fruit pectin, most commonly used in the kitchen as a thickening agent for homemade jams and jelly is. However, it's also widely known as an Internet folk remedy people use an attempt to mask drug drug metabolites in urine.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't remedy. It's.

[Joe Rogan]

Does it work? No.

[Joey Diaz]

That's why.

[Joe Rogan]

Let's find out if it works. The myth. Many online forums suggest mixing sirto with a large sports drink like Gatorade and drinking it a few hours before a drug urine test. The theory claims the fiber traps toxins in your digestive tract. Reality Health professionals and medical studies show no scientific evidence that fruit pectin can reliably clear drugs or toxins from your urine. While fiber works in the gut, has no effect on what your kidneys filter into your urine. This episode is brought to you by armra. Every week, there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? That's why Armor colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this if you want to try. Armor is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armor.com rogan but again, you

[Joey Diaz]

get your advice from a guy who's done 30 fucking years. Then you forget he's been doing 30 years because he made mistakes, not because he's a fucking genius about certo.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, and then we went from Sirto, and then one day I was.

[Joe Rogan]

Does anything work?

[Joey Diaz]

Huh?

[Joe Rogan]

Does anything work?

[Joey Diaz]

No. Cranberry juice.

[Joe Rogan]

What about that stuff that they used to sell? Remember they used to sell stuff?

[Joey Diaz]

This is 90. This is 89. They didn't sell nothing.

[Joe Rogan]

No. But do you remember there was some stuff that you could buy and shake it in?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. No. No. You're saying you could buy piss now? Now it's completely different.

[Joe Rogan]

You could buy piss.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you could buy piss online. Just get that dirty. That dirty fucking xpt whatever you go on. And you could search hidden shit all over the place.

[Joe Rogan]

You gotta get a rubber dick and take that piss.

[Joey Diaz]

And Doug, I had a guy who made a rubber dick normalet could not start snorting coke, so he made a contraption where he filled up his son's piss in a hot water bottle and did the same thing with the douche. And he took the douche on the bottom and he scotch taped it to his dick and he would piss and squeeze his chest.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh my God, that's.

[Joey Diaz]

Then one day the thing blew up and he was a bank robber. They sent him to jail for 30 fucking years.

[Joe Rogan]

Want to hear the craziest steroid evasion story that I ever heard from Piss? There was a guy who was fighting and he knew he was going to get piss test and he was just juice to the tits. So the legend is that they inserted clean urine into his bladder through injection. So he injected clean urine into his bladder with a needle. Whether or not that's true, I have no idea. But this is what everybody. This is like early days of the ufc. Like when they first started drug testing

[Joey Diaz]

people would you think, I don't even

[Joe Rogan]

think it was in the UFC that he did this. I think it was in another organization, but I don't know if it's true.

[Joey Diaz]

Think about what's going on the other side of this. Your addiction is that high.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, these guys, when they're that juiced up, when they're that juiced up, they're not getting off of it because it's not.

[Joey Diaz]

I get it. I understand. So you understand the extremes that people do. Could you ever shoot fucking fake piss? Like, Joey, go piss the fucking thing. I'm gonna shoot Joey's piss.

[Joe Rogan]

A guy willing to do that and trusting that guy was finding your bladder, he could shoot piss into your liver. Like, who knows what this guy even understands.

[Joey Diaz]

These are the levels that you do. So here I am certain don't work. Fucking nothing works. And one day I'm at a pool, I'm like, oh, shit. When you piss in the pool, the pool claims cleaned all this and not the pool would be green the next day.

[Joe Rogan]

So this is your logic.

[Joey Diaz]

So I went, I took the kids, I took one of those cubes first, smashed it up, and then I put it on my outside of a dick because I'm uncircumcised. So I would pull the skin back and that would fall into the fucking piss. And then. So he told me once, he goes, something happened last time you fucked up the machine or Something like that. Right.

[Joe Rogan]

Women would insert condoms filled with someone else's urine inside themselves. He said some athletes would inject urine into their bladders using a catheter. Oh, God. They did do that. So that's real. So maybe that's how he did it. Maybe they used a catheter and that's how they put the fake.

[Joey Diaz]

But then there's the wizard.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that was the rubber dick.

[Joey Diaz]

That's.

[Joe Rogan]

Wasn't there some stuff that you could buy that you would get it? Like a head shop, and it supposedly detoxed you? But does that stuff work? Nothing's real. Yeah. I always assumed that it wasn't real. I was on the screen. You're selling this at a head shop stuff then. From the 90s. These are some of the problems.

[Joey Diaz]

But the killer was when I used Drano.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, okay. So this is all. Yeah, they just robbed.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, they just robbed people.

[Joe Rogan]

Fetish urine. Look at that. It says. Look at. That's labels. Fetish urine. What the does that mean? It's probably a way to sell it because you have to say, what.

[Joey Diaz]

Not for human consumption.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, so that's your buying piss. Oh, so that's an actual bag of piss. Right. Oh, good Lord. This one calls it tinkle. It's fetish urine. So if you just, like, want someone to piss on you, but no one's willing. You've already told that story about the guy with the gay club. The guy at the bathtub.

[Joey Diaz]

Everybody was pissing on him in the tub. And then that party Shamer took me to in that hotel next to the Comedy Store, and they were getting pissed on in there, the women. And then I wake up, sadly, I'm feeling good about myself, and I'm on Twitter and I see Bonnie Blue. She had a. That chick is fucking. She got pissed on, had a baby shower in her ass. People were pissing her pussy in her ass. And I'm like, somebody's gotta stop that woman.

[Joe Rogan]

She's just the least of her problems.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God, A fucking baby shower. But I used a drain. Although that was the best because that destroyed the machine. But. But the truth of the matter is,

[Joe Rogan]

when he said, something happened last time.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, this. I put the drain on my dick, and I walked up to the counter and I put it on the desk. And he asked you questions. How's it been? And I'm looking at the thing, and it's starting to foam like this thing, and it's coming out of the bag. He's watching, and I'm looking at this thing. Going, this motherfucker better. And what he did was he just picked it up and threw it in the bag. Like, when they pick it up and test it, sometimes you leave the cop top off. That was an old trick. You leave the top off and then it spills.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, no.

[Joey Diaz]

So that buys you one extra week. But the time with the Drano, it started like, it was, like, shaking at the thing. Like foam was coming out of the fucking sides. And I locked it up good. That's what happened. There was no oxygen. That motherfucker was like, you know, boom. So I put in the fucking thing. He called me a few days later. He's like, listen, I wrote up a thing. I'm taking you to court because you broke the machine. This cannot continue.

[Joe Rogan]

This cannot continue.

[Joey Diaz]

This can continue. This can continue. This is like a fucking cat and mouse game. What did you put in your body? What happened? What the fuck is going on, Jose?

[Joe Rogan]

They say, hey, your machine sucks. Your machine broke. That has nothing to do with me.

[Joey Diaz]

No. And then they put me on, like, this hold. They were like, we're not even gonna piss you no more, Doug. We're done. We can't take this mental fucking. So this is when you're in the probation department now. They were going to throw me back in Community Corrections because they'll put you in for 90 days and all that. I met this fucking guy for three months. We spoke like nothing, like gentlemen. I would talk to him, saw him once a week. And one day I said, what do you do? And he goes, I'm District Attorney in Boulder, Bill Wise. I need a beef. I need a problem. I'm on this probation. They won't leave me alone. What do I do to get off? He goes, just have your attorney drop a statement, and I'll sign it and get you on probation. And that was it. Just a guy I met on the street, Bill Wise, and then he got fired after the JonBenet Ramsey thing. He was there during the whole JonBenet Ramsey thing, and everybody got fucking fired. I guess. I know Bill Wise was a great dude, man. He was good to me. And I told him. He asked him what I did. I told him the truth. And he goes, did you learn from the mistake? Yeah. I'm here working, ain't I? I'm. Pass it over and I'll sign. I'm like, oh, my God. How fucking lucky am I? I'm done. I'm done. I was done. Started in 87, and it was all the way till 91. For a year, I was fucking Them up with the Pete thing. Then they put me back in the house. But in the halfway house, and that was even worse. I was out of control in there. There was freaks in there. There's fucking everything in there. Freaky girls. I was stealing the air conditioner out of the conference room and put it in my room. They couldn't heal. They couldn't handle me there either. They were like, dog, just go home. We're not gonna fuck with you no more. And that's what you do. You do just wear somebody rag and they'll let you go. Eventually they'll just say, you know what, man? It ain't worth it. You're never gonna stop. You're never gonna stop. And then a year later, I had, like, an affair with the one time. I had an affair with, like, the chick that worked in that office. She's the one that had the one leg they delivered Chinese food to. Never stopped. And you think of those chunks in your life and go, what the fuck was going on?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you were out of control.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, it's 31 years, and I still won't get back to bowl because of the shame I endured. Seriously. Like, I woke up, everybody goes, why don't you go back to Boulder? Because I'm ashamed that that was such a beautiful city. And I treated it like it was Newark, right? Like I did what I wanted. I would go to Kmart, hang out outside of fucking in the lawnmower department, and people would come out with new lawnmowers, and the receipt would fly off. I get that receipt, go to Longmont and get that lawnmower for 400 and walk it up and go, my mother bought me this. I don't want it no more. And I give them the receipt, and they give me 400 cash plus tax. Who does that? That fucking Toys R Us? I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffrey bucks. I took them down.

[Joe Rogan]

What's a Jeffrey Buck?

[Joey Diaz]

It's like when you bring a stolen computer in there, and they won't give you cash, they'll give you Jeffrey Buck, so you have to spend it in the fucking store. You know how many. I had a million dollars in Jeffrey Bucks at one time. I was buying bicycles and fucking. It's just. It just. I was an animal. And I feel really guilty about it today. I'm thinking of booking the Fox Theater in Boulder and doing like. Cause Ludizio's opening back up my Italian joint. So they called and they said, we're opening back up. And I'm like, I'm thinking of doing Boulder, like Fox Theater. Just take my lumps, apologize, donate to something there and just call it a fucking night. Cause I still feel guilty, man. I'm old. But now I feel guilty about the damage I put Boulder through. Fucking eight. I mean, I got chased through the mall by security, and I'm throwing fucking CDs at him. I remember the Denver Broncos were playing Cleveland in 87. Those big playoff games. Do you remember those? Jamie talk. I'm at the mall one day, and everybody's in the hallway looking at TVs. I'm like, who's mining the stores? I went into Radio Shack and I popped out the fucking CD player, brand new one, and just put the quarter on it and walked out like nothing. Who does that? Dog? That's animal. And I'm ashamed to admit this shit, but it was like you said when you first went to Boulder, the first time. You're like, this must have been a fucking grocery store for Joey Diaz.

[Joe Rogan]

That's exactly what I said when I went there.

[Joey Diaz]

It was. It was a shame.

[Joe Rogan]

Everybody's so. They're so, like, peaceful and sweet.

[Joey Diaz]

I brought chaos. Yeah, chaos. And it was too much. When I was in the prison, I brought chaos. And I had my cell open. I did what I wanted. It was just too much. And I. To this day, it's New York. You could shit like that because that's what New York is about. I was a fucking piece of shit in New York, too. But I don't feel guilty about that. I still walk around the city now,

[Joe Rogan]

but so many pieces of shit in

[Joey Diaz]

New York were unique. In Boulder, it was unique. But in Boulder, they didn't have anything like me. I was shaking down people. Some guy kept telling me, I saw you on A E. Remember in the 90s and 80s, AE was a mafia channel. They talked, Bill, whatever. Talked about A and E, to call the own family. And this guy saw me one day. He's like, hey, you're the guy that's in the witness relocation plan. This is 80 fucking 9. This is way before Sammy and all those guys went in. This guy's telling me, you. You're a witness. Relocated guy. A little Italian guy. I saw you on A E. You're George the Animal something from Boston. I'm like, dog, that's not me. Stop saying that. I already got problems in fucking Boulder. You're telling people that I'm a witness? Relocated Mafia guy. He pissed me off so much, finally I just kicked this fucking door down here like one of those Italian knickknack stores. I went in there and I said, dog, since I'm George the Animal I am, you're gonna give me 200 a week, bro. He started giving me 200 a week for like three weeks. Then he called a sit down with Antonio Ladizio and Antonio's like, yeah, you gotta keep paying him. And the guy closed up shop like three weeks later. I never saw him again. Little Italian guy would always kick his shoes up. Dog, that's crazy shit. I was snorting coke at an ATM in Boulder. Next to Murphy's, there's an ATM you could walk into with the door. I would go in there with a case of beer at night and just put coke on the metal. People would come and go ahead. Can't take this shit back. But it was done. And I can't undo it, you know?

[Joe Rogan]

But it bothers you now? Well, does it bother you? Or does it just make you listen? Confused, like, how the fuck could I be listening?

[Joey Diaz]

Nobody remember half this shit. I'm saying. Nobody ever remember this shit. People on, they moved on with their lives. If they saw me now, they go, hey, that's the guy that kidnapped the guy. Nah. You know, my name was in the paper. My picture wasn't. They didn't have a picture of me, but everything else was in the fucking paper. It's a guilt. It's a weird fucking guilt, man, that I could have done so much better there. If I would have. If I would have played my cards right. I could have graduated college as a fucking astronaut because they were gonna give me everything just cause I was Cuban. They had no Spanish people at that college. They had only like eight blacks that played football. So they were doing anything to get Latinos. I would have been a fucking astronaut with a ged.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, but we would have missed this, Joey. Yeah, but it's good that it turned out this way.

[Joey Diaz]

Let me ask you something. If you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing, what would you. What would you think you'd be doing now?

[Joe Rogan]

If I hadn't gotten into which one?

[Joey Diaz]

This thing that we're doing, stand up comedy. Nobody opened up everything.

[Joe Rogan]

What would I be doing? I don't know, man. I don't know. I probably would have fought again.

[Joey Diaz]

Would you be a chef? Would you be. I mean, I could pin you as a chef. You love to cook.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I do love to cook.

[Joey Diaz]

Chef.

[Joe Rogan]

A mason found something that I enjoyed doing.

[Joey Diaz]

What?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know. I would have figured it out.

[Joey Diaz]

What's your second love?

[Joe Rogan]

The real problem would be If I had a kid real young. So if, you know, I know a bunch of my friends got married and had kids when they're like 22, 23, the Pro, there's nothing wrong with that. But then that really limits your ability to just go for it. Cuz you have mouths to feed. That's a different animal. You know, I, I think about the early days of standup when I was 21, and how I had zero money. I mean, zero. I had zero money, I barely could eat, I remember, at a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels, dimes and shit. And I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. Like I had no money. And so I could imagine, like if I was trying to do that. I said, well, I'm just gonna live like this for a couple years. And I think if I work hard enough, I could eventually start making money doing stand up. And if I keep getting better, better, maybe I could be a professional, you know, that was the idea. It was never like have a career. But if I had a kid and I had a wife, there's no way I would have done it. There's no way I would have to have gotten a job. And that's where a lot of people get into, you know. Or maybe you think it's going to be a good investment to get a house, which it is, but now you've got a mortgage, so you got a mortgage. You can't just lose everything. I got my car repossessed. I was broke, man. I was broke, bro.

[Joey Diaz]

I used to have to hide my car in a garage so they won't repossess it.

[Joe Rogan]

Shit, yeah. I mean, it was 100% check to check. I never had any money in the bank.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot. Now this is why I started this grateful shit. Because dead days, I pull up to my house, I don't know who lives there. Yeah, I go, who lives here? This is me.

[Joe Rogan]

I know it doesn't feel real.

[Joey Diaz]

And then you ask, you say yourself, this is the most important thing for people listening. I want you to listen to this. If you have a dream or a goal, you go, I got to pay for that with comedy. Which I always thought I was just gonna make a hundred dollars a set. And I would have been fine with that. If nobody would ever bother me in my life, I would have been fine with $100 a set, getting in my beat up car and doing that, getting your dick sucked, getting STDs I would have done all that shit. You know, that's what it is. So when you look at your house, whether it costs 40,000 or 80 million and go, I paid for this. Doing $15 sets at the Comedy Store.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

When you got into this, you just wanted to survive, never mind the fucking house and cars. And you never dreamed that this would stand up. I know I didn't.

[Joe Rogan]

I never dreamed of this with anything.

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

I never thought I would be a person who had money.

[Joey Diaz]

I dreamed of being a funny person and to be funny enough to make a living and stand up. I never saw this part of it. So when I pull up in my house and I go, that was paid with $20 sets, $25 here, 15 here, 100 here. Yeah, that adds up. I'm not saying that, but that was paid by a dream.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Not a job. Not something my family did. I wasn't forced into like. Like raising lemons or whatever the fuck people do that are decent, you know, growing lemons. You know, Seriously, we were born into this. This is something we got into and said, I just want to survive. I just want to be able to eat three meals and get enough gas to go to the next thing. Forget money in the bank. Forget it. It's overrated. I would never even open up a bank account. I didn't open up a bank account Till I was 40 years old. You know, I just ran on whatever the fuck I would Open and put 20 in and write a bounce check and fucking move on and pray that nobody caugh, you know? And people have no idea what that feeling is like. I get in my car and I go, holy shit. How many cars did I have that I had? One of those bungee cords. Oh, yeah, a bungee cord. I had a car when I first did comedy. I had to close the door with a bungee cord across my thing. It was like my combination seat belt. Because if I took a fucking right turn, the door would open. You know, the door would just wing open. Now I'm in a car that's fucking. I paid for with comedy. Not drugs.

[Joe Rogan]

Nice.

[Joey Diaz]

Not anything. No. Whether it's nice or not, you paid for this without nobody's interference with somebody with something that somebody told you you'd never be good at. You'd never be good at. Somebody at least said it to you one time. Joe, come on, man. You're never gonna. What do you think you're gonna be on HBO with fucking Richard Pryor and George Carlin? You laugh, but you're like, they're Kind of right. They were fucking wrong. We didn't know it. We just didn't fucking know it.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it's like telling someone, I'm gonna run 200 miles. They're like, no, you're not. You can't even run around the block. Like, no, one day I'm gonna run 200 miles. Like, no, you're not. You're not gonna run 200 miles. And most of the time, they're right. But if you're one of those motherfuckers, it says, look, it might take me 10 years to develop the endurance to run 200 miles, but I can't. If I start right now, next month, I'm gonna be able to run five miles, you know, in six months, I'll be able to run 10 miles, and then I'm gonna keep going.

[Joey Diaz]

But then you quit before the miracle happens. Somewhere along the line.

[Joe Rogan]

How many people do we know that quit? How many people do we know that were really talented, that were really funny, and just disappeared?

[Joey Diaz]

And now you see him on shame?

[Joe Rogan]

Anybody. But there's a few guys, and there's this one guy at the early days of the Comedy Store that I really tried to help. I connected him to my manager, and I was like, this guy's legit. I'm like, you're funny, dude. Like, you're. You're good if you just fucking stand. Had a bunch of personal problems. Had a kid. I think he had some legal issues. Damn. But that guy, I'm like, I'll tell you later who it was.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I know it was.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Yeah. But I was like, that motherfucker was funny. He was funny.

[Joey Diaz]

Way funnier than I was.

[Joe Rogan]

He was great. He was a fun dude to be around. He was a cool dude. I was like, he's gonna make it.

[Joey Diaz]

There was people I looked at, and I go, they're way funnier than I am. Holy fuck.

[Joe Rogan]

We were both, like, the same age, too. We were, like, 27 when I first met him. And I connected with my manager, and he was like, nobody ever did anything like that for me before. Like, nobody tries to help me.

[Joey Diaz]

Nobody.

[Joe Rogan]

I was like, listen, man, you'll do it, too now. You'll make it. And then you'll do it, too. Well, I'll do helps. And it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt you at all to help somebody, but it helps them. And it helps you. Helps you feel better. You feel better that you're helping someone. It's like. It's a. I always say that being generous is kind of selfish. In a way, because you feel better too. Like, when I'm generous, I feel better.

[Joey Diaz]

I do.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, we all do. And when we're kind and when we try to help people, you feel better. It's good for you. It's good for everybody. And it's like, that's a message that the world needs to hear. Like, you could be good to people. And if you're good to people and you're nice to people, it'll help you too. If you find someone who's got something, you gotta. And you're doing a thing. Like, you're doing a thing, and there's someone who's got a spark, there's a little talent. Help, though. Help them. Help those people. Give them advice, give them a push. Let them open for you. You know, watch their set, give them some feedback, Help them.

[Joey Diaz]

Cause, you know, we're not in the comedy business, Joe. I've never been in the comedy business. I don't know what anybody's talking about. We're in the karma business.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a little of that.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm in the karma business. I am not in the karma. My goal every day is to make somebody's day. One person, a woman at a supermarket. You're looking fucking bad in a motherfucker today. Oh, stop it, Joey. Yeah, that. I just made her fucking day. Her husband sees her every day and never tells her she's banging. And I'm going up to this lady I don't even know, and I'm like, damn, If I was 20 years younger, you know, they're older than me. Like, they're 68. You know, that's my thing every day, just make somebody's day. One person. You can't save the world, but one day, a gesture, a handshake, a couple dollars is not gonna set you back.

[Joe Rogan]

That is kind of what you. If you're. If you're doing a thing or you're doing something that people enjoy, like, think about, like, your sets. Like, think about how many people have gone to see you and you change their night, gone to see you. Like, how many nights at the store, people come in, you wanna see a show? Yeah, let's go see a show. You go on stage and rock that fucking place. They leave, they're holding their side like, ah. And they go out and get something to eat afterwards. Everybody said that fucking thing about, ahh. And they're dying. Change people's evenings, you change their feelings. You change the way they feel, and you feel good because of it. It's like this Weird exchange. The reason why we love killing, especially people that are really good at it, what they love is that they're making other people happy. That's really what you love.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it. I love it.

[Joe Rogan]

You're making other people happy and you feel happy because you're making. And when you don't.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, you feel terrible. I feel. I do better when I look at the audience and they're laughing and I laugh with you. Once I laugh, you're done.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

You're done.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Once I start laughing and giggling. If it's real parties. Yeah, yeah. No, it's real.

[Joe Rogan]

You're having fun.

[Joey Diaz]

It's real. It's real. When I look out there and I see somebody that should not be laughing and they're laughing at something blue as shit that I said, and I don't expect them to laugh. That's what makes me laugh. Or the look on their face from the shock of you saying something. That's what always kicks me into this fucking mode, you know?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's beautiful.

[Joey Diaz]

The other thing I want to talk about in this podcast, because I was talking to a friend of mine, Jersey, of Stand Up. And this is the other thing people don't see. We're very blessed because we went to LA or wherever the fuck we went, and one day you're talking to somebody and two weeks later they're in a fucking. The biggest movie in Hollywood.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And it's very hard to explain to people to sit, believe in yourself and just keep showing up and that this happens. But since people don't have see that happen in their world in Jersey, what do you see? A guy hits the lottery, he wins a million dollars. That's their way out of this life. For us, it was like we saw too many people make it like this. Like one day they had nothing, and the next day they're on CBS fucking doing a show for eight years, whether it's Kevin or whether it's fucking the other guy, the great guy from Pittsburgh, you've seen that. So it gives you hope. Now at that situation, you could say, fuck that dude. He's a fucking loser. You could go, good for him. He just moved the notch up a little bit so I could get on that conveyor line. That's the beauty of it. Not looking at that person going, fuck him. He sucks. He stole my joke in Pittsburgh. Who gives a fuck about Pittsburgh in 89? Guy's on TV now, you know, whatever he is, be happy, because you're next. You know him. You fucking do sex with them. Right. You're there in the rotation with them at the store every night and all of them.

[Joe Rogan]

It can happen for you, too.

[Joey Diaz]

It happens. So once you see it, you go, oh, shit. Okay, now I know what I need to do.

[Joe Rogan]

That's if you're real.

[Joey Diaz]

That's if you're real. I need to get off coke. I need to cut this shit out. I need to do this, this and this. Just to get me closer to that, because I see it too much. I see people living in an apartment with eight people, and next thing, they got a house in Beverly Hills. Most people don't see that.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Joey Diaz]

So it's tough to explain to them what. Because everybody thinks you're gonna hit the lottery and your life's gonna change. Boy, are they mistaken. Everybody thinks $10 million is gonna change their life and make them a better person. It's not. It's not. We think it's gonna. Like when you were broke all those years, you used to say, I can't wait to have money. But you never said, I can't wait to have money. For what?

[Joe Rogan]

I never thought I would have money.

[Joey Diaz]

Me neither.

[Joe Rogan]

I never said, I can't wait to have money. My thought was, I want to, like, make a living. That's it.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it. That's why I was.

[Joe Rogan]

Even when I first started with stand up, like, it was just to make a living. It was just doing this. I was a fucking loser in, like, regular society. I was good at kicking people. I was a loser in regular society. I was like, I didn't graduate college. I barely got out of high school. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't care about school. All I cared about was whatever I cared about, whether it was drawing or whether it was martial arts. Those are the things that I cared about. That's it. So I always felt like I just need to find a way to live because I. I'm never gonna be a successful person. I had, like, resigned myself to that. I had no aspirations. Yeah, you were way worse than me because you were in and out of jail.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I had no family, felonies, no ged. I was set to fucking die.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And that little fucking accident I had when I was 25 years old. You know, it's like right now, you go and you look at the news and there's this big thing going on by the ice facility, by my house in Jersey, in Newark. They keep fucking banging. And I'm sitting there going, that's how stupid we are as Americans. I don't know if Americans know this shit. When you go to jail, you lose all your rights. You know, I don't go to jail, Joe, because that sleep apnea machine doesn't mean nothing in jail. We don't care if you die. Right? You know what you have to do to get them sleep apnea machine in jail? You got to go to a manufacturer to send it to you directly, which we'll get into later. But my point is that fucking. What was my point? I don't even know. I got so high before.

[Joe Rogan]

Your point was that you never thought you were going to go anywhere.

[Joey Diaz]

I never thought I was going to

[Joe Rogan]

go go anywhere until comedy came around and you realize, oh, this is a thing that I can do.

[Joey Diaz]

But all I wanted was 4,000amonth. In my mind, I was such a loser that I said to myself, if I can make 4,000amonth, I'm a millionaire. And today, 4,000amonth doesn't even get your rent right. Not even nothing. 4,000.

[Joe Rogan]

Back then, 4,000amonth was like 8,000amonth.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, 8,000amonth now.

[Joe Rogan]

And you would say, okay, If I made 100 grand a year, I can live like. You can live off 100 grand a year and be comfortable. Like, that's the goal. The goal was always just to be comfortable. But the thing with you is, I've realized this, like, very early on, you were gonna. It was gonna take a different path. Like, I remember watching, like, you emerge when you really started, like, killing on stage. And I was saying. And then, you know, all these agents. You remember I had that one agent that would get mad, take you on the road.

[Joey Diaz]

He would get mad.

[Joe Rogan]

I was like, what the is wrong with. He's not. I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's talented. I go, you don't know what the you're talking about. You don't know anything. I go, why does he make me laugh so hard? He's like, well, you're a degenerate. Like, you're a crazy person. You got to realize the audience is offended. And you. That's your audience. Like, shut the up. I knew that you were a different path. So for you, your emergence came with the emergence of the Internet. And when the Internet came around and we started doing podcasts, I'm like, this is the way that Joey's gonna break because they'll get to see the real you.

[Joey Diaz]

When I told stories, listen, it's like 247 on HBO. You may hate fucking, I don't know, throwing your name up. You May hate that boxer for some reason, whatever, he's cocky. But then they show you his house, and they show you he's got four daughters, and they show you that he wakes up every morning and feeds the daughter. You thought he was a fucking animal. In the cage, he's an animal, but in life, he's just a regular guy. And you get to see that and go, no, I like him. I don't see a guy that just punches people in the head. I see a guy that's. Look at him, he's got fucking makeup on for his daughters and he's cooking breakfast every morning. Then he goes trains like that Jason. What was his name, the big yoke brother from the ufc. Alexander. Remember, he came and he was knocking heads, and they found out he couldn't do jujitsu. Great guy. To Houston. Houston.

[Joe Rogan]

Houston Alexander. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I watched that thing on him. He was raising four girls. His wife, the crack mom left.

[Joe Rogan]

That dude was a tank.

[Joey Diaz]

He was a tank. And he would train in the mornings, then go home, cook for the kids.

[Joe Rogan]

Remember when he knocked out Keith Jardine? Big upset, big upset, big upset. Jardine just tried to take him out. And Houston Alexander was throwing bombs.

[Joey Diaz]

He was big and strong.

[Joe Rogan]

Jacked.

[Joey Diaz]

Jacked.

[Joe Rogan]

And he was a radio dj, you know he was a radio dj.

[Joey Diaz]

I didn't know that.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he was a hip hop dj. Find out where Houston Alexander.

[Joey Diaz]

I'd love to know where he is.

[Joe Rogan]

Like a big dj.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he's a good.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, he was successful.

[Joey Diaz]

He always talked to me at the airports. Very good guy. Very good guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Very good guy.

[Joey Diaz]

I was like, wow. But, you know, I knew that once I was able to tell my story, where I came from, it was. I was. I didn't know how to do it on stage. Then after I'd done a podcast over the years, I got better enough to learn how to do it on stage.

[Joe Rogan]

But you did figure out how to do something on stage. That was the switch. And the switch was you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot. On stage.

[Joey Diaz]

In stage, that was killing me.

[Joe Rogan]

But it went like that.

[Joey Diaz]

Like that.

[Joe Rogan]

I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you. I was like, this is wild.

[Joey Diaz]

And I'm gonna tell you some of the reasons. I was too focused on material. You're too focused on your fucking material. And you know what? At the end of the day, your material sucks. I've heard it already, and that's what I would think in my mind, so I would do better. When I went up there just with one thought and attacked it. You know what I mean? I mean, it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, no, you. What you. What you did was you treated the audience like they were your boys and we're all hanging out versus treated the audience like I'm a comic. Here's some jokes. Like when you first started. When I first. What did I meet you in? 96?

[Joey Diaz]

96, 97.

[Joe Rogan]

When I first met you, you were doing jokes. You would go on stage and do

[Joey Diaz]

jokes, and I would focus on the jokes on that paper. Don't focus that. At 11:30 at the store. Your jokes don't mean shit. They just saw three hours of top notch comedy. What are you bringing to the table? You gonna go up there and tell me what I saw on the news and who taught us that? Paul Mooney, how to relax. He would just go up there and in my mind, he was just vibing with the audience. He did a lot of that and it worked. And I took that realm of relax.

[Joe Rogan]

Mooney taught us a lot.

[Joey Diaz]

Relax.

[Joe Rogan]

He was a real veteran, you know, he was like one of the only guys when we were there that was there during the prior years and was respected. He wasn't like one of those. There was a few guys that were still hanging around that had literally acts from the 90s.

[Joey Diaz]

They were still doing, like Springsteen jokes.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it was just bad.

[Joey Diaz]

But his laid back.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Attitude.

[Joe Rogan]

Always topical, too. Always new. Anytime new was going on the news, he had 10 solid minutes on it and quick. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

That day, if it happened, they told on the news that night. That day.

[Joe Rogan]

I remember he was crushing on stage once. We were dying in the back of the room. He was, oh, that's right. I write, motherfucker. I write.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. No, no, he's fucking.

[Joe Rogan]

We were dying.

[Joey Diaz]

That calmness taught me how to. I was going up there and rushing.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I was going up there doing two mistakes. Rushing and worrying about that material like it was Bible, Right. I'll give you an example. Sometimes I get an audition, right? When I was doing a lot of auditions, this is when I learned that early on when I was auditioning, that if I focused on that line, those lines, I wasn't gonna book that part. So I had to dip into Marlon Brando's fucking tools. Marlon Brando didn't reach out. He put those signs on you so you felt more organic. But it wasn't even that. It was, know who your character is. I could tell you to go fuck your mother 18 different ways. Right, right. So it's the same thing. You have to just learn not the words, but what he's trying to say in there. You don't need the words. The words are bullshit. What is this guy trying to say in there? Yeah, you take some of the sentences that he's saying, but you slow it down. And that's what he did in that scene when he tells everybody, if my son should hang by a bolt of lightning, you then our Marlon Brando. And the hotel scene. That's a beautiful fucking scene if you love that shit like I do. All those motherfuckers were wearing signs. You've seen the behind the scenes of that.

[Joe Rogan]

So their words. The script was on papers.

[Joey Diaz]

So Duval was sitting across from him with a billboard.

[Joe Rogan]

That's hilarious.

[Joey Diaz]

That boss was sitting across from. And you see him, like, he'd just look up and that I will not forgive. And he'd take another pause and look at another cue card because he wanted it to be organic. He didn't want it to sound like those fucking lines just ride or wrote.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Joey Diaz]

And that's for everything, if you know the character. I know the character. I know me. See, everybody had science thought, that is really crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

Crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

But it worked.

[Joe Rogan]

Crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

Did it work in the Godfather? Did it work? Okay, so go fuck yourself.

[Joe Rogan]

I was watching this thing where they were very skeptical about him playing.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, did you see the Sony thing? Yeah, the Sony series. Very good.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, very good.

[Joey Diaz]

Very good.

[Joe Rogan]

Wasn't it interesting? Imagine skeptical about Marlon Brando playing the Godfather.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, brother, he had shot a movie, Beautiny on the Bounty. And they went down there, and the motherfucker fucked that chick. And he wasn't even directing anymore. He was in a hut. He gave, like, the ad. The camera. Camera. You didn't hear about that? Yeah, That's a huge story.

[Joe Rogan]

That's Apocalypse now, right? No, no.

[Joey Diaz]

And then Apocalypse now, he went to a meeting. They gave him all this loot, and they told him, you got to show up 180. Like, you're supposed to be a Green Beret, Right? He showed up 400.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, that's why they kept him in the dark, right?

[Joey Diaz]

They kept him in the dark.

[Joe Rogan]

And he shaved him a black shirt,

[Joey Diaz]

you know, he didn't give a. He did it, however, and that's why they hated him. But at the same time, you gotta love the motherfucker because it's working.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Well, it was authentic, right?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, that Apple TV show was very interesting. It was very. And I met that dude. Remember, he created the Longest Yard. Al Ruddy did the Longest Yard from scratch when he did the Godfather, I think he didn't take two and he went to do the Longest Yard. He loved it, so he created the Longest Yard. So when we shot our Longest Yard, he was there every Friday for his little checky poo. Big motherfucker. Big dude dog. Good dude. Big hands and shit. Would just talk to you about stuff. Good dude. So I got it like that, you know, Ruddy and I think he did something else after that. Look at the movies he did. Look at the movies he did. Jamie, when you get a minute. Paul Rudy's films.

[Joe Rogan]

What was that other question that I asked you earlier about? I asked you to look something up. Yes, Omaha.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes, Omaha. He was from Omaha.

[Joe Rogan]

That's what it is. What radio station? Is he still doing it? Yeah, it says he currently is. He currently is still. Look at that. We got to call him. I think he fought recently. I think he had a fight, like, within the last couple of years. Did he? It says 2017 for MMA. Box bare knuckle boxing in 2023. That's it? Yeah. One hundred and all four of his bare knuckle fights. Yeah, Bare knuckle fighting. Dude's a dj, UFC veteran. It said it. Let's get some bare knuckle fights.

[Joey Diaz]

Greatest that you could dj and then go fight somebody crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And that's life, man. That's a life that's worth living. You got your money, you're getting your money's worth.

[Joe Rogan]

Life. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You got your money's worth.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You want to sit at home, be sedentary, whatever. Live like, you know, watching tv, and you're scared they're going to bomb you, you're done. You got to keep fucking living. And that's what you know.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. You got to do things. That's the thing about life. You got to do things. Too many people just sit around wanting to do things and not doing anything. It's hard to get moving, though. That's what a lot of people find. They find it's hard to, like, go out to that club for that first open mic, step into that gym the first time. Like D Rod. Daniel Rodriguez. Did you see that podcast? We talked about how he got arrested in Tijuana. You know D Rod from the ufc?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

So D Rod beats Kevin Holland, right? Goes to San Diego, celebrating, and his boy's like, let's go to Tijuana. Fuck, yeah. Let's go to Tijuana. Just go to drink, have a good time. He just won a huge fight. Top 15 UFC welterweight has an ounce of weed in his bag. He thinks, well, weed's legal in California. Weeds decriminalized in Mexico. Who cares? Maybe I'll bribe somebody. I'll get out of this. It's a federal offense to bring weed in. And even though weed's decriminalized in Mexico, it's not for visitors. It's only for Mexican citizens. Yeah, bro.

[Joey Diaz]

How do you get out of that one?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, one of the things he had to do is become a Mexican citizen. So he's got dual citizenship now. Yeah, he was in jail for eight months, man.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he was just training in jail. He looks great. He looks great now. But when he got out, he was. He's like, I had no protein. So I'm in there working out every day with eating noodles and potato chips. No protein, no protein. And so he. He got real thin. Like, he showed a photo of him, like, the day he got out. I mean, this motherfucker was training every day, twice a day in jail. He's like, I'm gonna make the most out of this. But it's. He has no food. The food's terrible. So his body wasted away.

[Joey Diaz]

I think I used to get protein. He couldn't.

[Joe Rogan]

He asked. He tried to get it. He said, you can get girls. You. All these different things. He goes, he couldn't get good food in Mexico. In Mexico, yeah. And he was a cellmate with a cartel guy. The cartel guy took care of him. The cartel guy recognized him. Look, we'll take care of you. Hang out with us. And he just said, I'm going to just keep my nose down. Just train. But he said he got a bunch of guys training with them because they were inspired. They're like, fuck, yeah, let's train with D Rod. So he had all these guys in there. He said some of them were talented.

[Joey Diaz]

Prison's fun. I don't give a fuck what anybody tells you. Once you get to your destination and you meet your homie and you create a little thing, it's like anything else. We just can't step out the walls. But you make it happen. I laughed a lot in that, bro. I laughed.

[Joe Rogan]

I bet you did.

[Joey Diaz]

Because nobody's funnier in prison than black people. I don't give a fuck what they tell you. They're the true kings of the prison system. And I had the two best. I had the two best. And, you know, sometimes that's when you

[Joe Rogan]

first did stand up, right?

[Joey Diaz]

Mm.

[Joe Rogan]

First did stand up just for the inmates.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Wednesday, Thursday night, just Talk some shit during the movies. They would go, this movie sucks. They'd be like, PT100, you know, we don't want to see fucking Kennedy in a movie. Get up there, Cuba. And I would just go up there and fuck around and was nothing. That was I ever thought about anything. Like I. You said something before thinking about the first time you went to that open mic. Boy, was that scary.

[Joe Rogan]

For me, Terrifying.

[Joey Diaz]

Took me eight months. I was such a pussy. I would call the Comedy Works in Denver every week and every week I'd cancel there. We did you have a three minute spot? Oh, I don't feel. And my ex wife, God bless her, as much as I hate her, she heard me on the phone and she asked her mother to babysit and she drove me down and I got on stage, I remember getting off that stage going, how am I going to do this? I'm married with a kid. And three months later she came home, she's like, you're a loser. I don't want to be married to you no more. I'm like, yes, holy fuck, you just did me fucking solid. Then she did me shitty afterwards. But the point is she at least got me to that open mic. So I have to be grateful for something that she did. You know, it's the hard.

[Joe Rogan]

The first step's the hard one. You know what I was saying about D Rod? Like the first time he ever went to the gym, his girlfriend got him a membership. She was like, he's. Because he drove by it a bunch of times. He thought about training, never went in. Had a bunch of street fights, never went in. He's like, I think I could do that. And then finally she's like, look, I got you a price present. I got your membership.

[Joey Diaz]

Hold that thought. Can I go pee real quick? We're at the two hour mark.

[Joe Rogan]

We'll be right back.

[Joey Diaz]

We'll be right back. I gotta go pee. And

[Joe Rogan]

we're back.

[Joey Diaz]

That was a tremendous pee. Oh my God.

[Joe Rogan]

It's the worst is when you try to concentrate and you have to piss.

[Joey Diaz]

No, that's the worst. That's the worst when you have to drive and you gotta pee. And I'm to an age I just pull over. Yeah, highway, whatever. I open up the both doors and I may believe I'm looking for something, something. And that dick is out peeing like I pee on the little leaf field. And now I got after the surgery, they gave me a handicap sparking. I'm living like a doctor. You don't know what life is until you have handicapped parking, dog. You just pull right up, there's always a spot. Always. Yeah, like four feet away. When I got in the mail, dog, I was happier. That made me so happy. Fuck walking. When I go to events now in Philadelphia, you. I just pull up and put a neck brace on, walk out and, oh, it's been beautiful.

[Joe Rogan]

Joe, what do you have to do to get one of those?

[Joey Diaz]

The doctor.

[Joe Rogan]

That's it.

[Joey Diaz]

So the doctor was like, do you have it after surgery, I get it for you for six months? And then he goes, hold on one second. He went online. He's like, dog, you qualify for everything. You got everything on this list, Everything. Go. And they gave it to me for, like, three years.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, nice.

[Joey Diaz]

You. Yeah, I fucking. Oh, tremendous, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

How does it feel right now? You're all right?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, it feels okay. I just. Listen, what happens is you do something every week. Like, the second week I went. Third week I went. Couple weeks, I went boxing, and it was good for, like, three times. And one day I went and I had a plan. 25 minutes, eight rounds on the bag or the speed bag, but I do the bags and I alternate the bags. Sure enough, round number six, one of the guys comes over and he goes, joey, let's hit the middle. I'm excited. You know, he's a young guy. Let's do it. I left there, my fucking leg blew up from that right punch to cross because everything walks into it.

[Joe Rogan]

You're also moving around when you're moving around.

[Joey Diaz]

So I said, fuck it. Now I gotta stand in front of the bag. So I learned my lesson. And then last week, I went to pt and that motherfucker had me. I mean, I love him, but tj, this motherfucker had me doing dead lifts and wall squats with a thing with your weight on the back, back.

[Joe Rogan]

So it's all just to strengthen the muscles. Back.

[Joey Diaz]

You have to. You have to strengthen. But I prepped. I listened to you guys. I. You know, I did everything I could before the surgery. That's what made it easier. Made a lot easier. I called you. I told you I was doing shit. In five days, I didn't have a cane no more. You know, I was done. I started driving at eight days. Not because I couldn't, but because I was sick and tired of my wife driving me places. And I gotta, you know, argue with her in the right hand lane.

[Joe Rogan]

No problem.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Like a motherfucker.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

It was the right foot, which is the accelerator, brake combo. So. Yeah. But, yeah, I was out of the house, you know, the pain pills were done after eight days. Then I had to bring them back for pt. They were fucking killing me. After pt. So after pt you pop one, go home, put ice on it, rub it down with the cream and stay off it for an hour or two. But then at night I take a walk around the neighborhood. You're trying to strengthen this shit, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, we're talking about it outside. Let's say you're in a hospital for five days and you eat cereal for five fucking days. You gain weight, your muscle breaks down and goes away. Like five days stay in a hospital could fucking kill you. Just because again, there's not that much protein. You're not getting 150 grams of protein a day and you're not moving and you're not moving. So that's the big one. I prepped for the surgery, I took all the supplements, way too well, Told me everything. Besberine. I took shit. My fucking pisses like glows in the dark at night. Purple, yellow. It's fucking amazing. I did all my PTS, all my BPCs, 157, all my TB, five hundreds. I did them for fucking to the T like they told me to. And you know, listen, I'm 63 and it's a 63 year old knee, so I don't expect to be in the UFC fighting Nogara next week, but I could walk around and enjoy life with no fucking pain or. No, it's not pain. It's like you always have an issue, you know it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You always have that thing with your knees. Sometimes it sticks with. Well then you gotta do simple shit. You gotta get a piece of paper, put it on the floor and just roll your heel back and forth 20 times and do kicks when you're sitting around. All those things help the knee. You get that band and you put it on your leg and you just straighten out your leg. I do that at home. This is shit I do at home. You know, Instead of watching TV, it takes 15 fuckin minutes. 15 fucking minutes of your time. And I got the bull worker. They sent me a bull worker.

[Joe Rogan]

What's that?

[Joey Diaz]

The thing I told you last time about. It's isometric shit.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, okay.

[Joey Diaz]

So I did the bull worker, I did the deadlift at the. Now I'm fucked because I don't know how to change the strings. So I gotta learn how to fucking change the strings. But that's all it was, it was preparing for the surgery.

[Joe Rogan]

Right?

[Joey Diaz]

You can't just go in there and not Strengthen the little muscles around the area. Yeah, that's it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you gotta do something. It's very important, especially if you're gonna go into surgery. I know a lot of people that have had knee surgery and didn't do that.

[Joey Diaz]

And it's a big. They won't go to pt. It's like, you don't go to pt. What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Joe Rogan]

You. Yeah, that's.

[Joey Diaz]

They came. Listen, I had the surgery Thursday in my house. Knocking Friday, fucking afternoon. I was home Friday from the hospital, and they said, they're coming over today. That motherfucker had me going up and downstairs, walking outside with the cane, getting in and out of the tub. He was, I don't even have a tub. I have a walking shower. But he was like, I'm gonna do everything with you. So it was pretty fucking like I said, this surgery was a lot better. The company that I did business with was a lot better. Last time I did it at Center State. That's like a medical network in New Jersey. Not bad. They have a great facility there. But, you know, when I went to do the surgery, my acupuncture said, when you go talk to that guy the day before the surgery, ask him about the sanitary conditions at that hospital. So when I went, I said, hey, what's the sanitary conditions at the hospital? He's like, ah. You hear? Room. And then when I went for the surgery, they prepped me up. They gave me everything. They gave me the iv. They were right about to do that thing in my back, and he said, we're not doing the surgery. I don't agree with sanitary. I was pissed, but I'm, like, happy. I could have ended up.

[Joe Rogan]

The doctor didn't agree with the sanitary conditions.

[Joey Diaz]

He came out and said, no, not today. We'll do it next week at a different hospital.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

That's crazy. So were people getting MRSA or something?

[Joey Diaz]

Something that got MRSA in there. And they're like, no. Everybody was talking, telling me, be careful with the Mercer in that hospital. But the funny thing was, he gave me a 20 milligram oxy, which they never gave you. That's a strong. I forgot I took it. Remember, I told you? Yeah, I forgot. I'm in a Chinese restaurant yelling, chino. I'm like, what the is wrong with me? Oh, I took that 20. I was up for eight hours on that thing.

[Joe Rogan]

So they give it to you before the surgery?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, just one other precaution. They did that.

[Joe Rogan]

A precaution?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, precaution. Whatever the fuck so you don't wake up in the middle of surgery yelling and fucking screaming like a pussy. They do that. The epidural. The epidural was tough because I felt it in my nut sack. Like, they give you a couple shots and one of the shots made me actually go like this because I felt it on the bottom towards the end of the nut sack. Not in the meat potatoes part, but towards the end close to the muffler. I was like, this is not bueno, dog.

[Joe Rogan]

What is the thing they do? I saw this video online about it. It's like, I think it's called nerve ablation. I might be making that up, but they. They literally, like, cut the nerves off when people have back pain. Like some people with back pain, it's like they're in constant nerve pain. And they were showing how they just snipped the nerves. And I was like, wait, wait a minute. Does that hinder your movement? Like, what is. What happens there? Is this it? Yeah. So what is that? Radiofrequency ablation for back pain management. What does it mean? Like, what does that. What do they do? Because the way I was looking at online, I'm like, it looks like they just cut the nerves. A minimally invasive outpatient procedure uses heat to intentionally damage nerves. Carrying pain signals from the spine to the brain primarily provides long lasting relief for chronic back pain caused by arthritis or facet joint degeneration. Wow. But does that mean your back just keeps getting worse but you don't feel it? What happens? When do you do that? Duration back, please. The procedure typically takes 30 to 60 minutes. You could usually go home the same day. Pain relief is not immediate. Often takes one to three weeks for the nerve to fully settle. Relief typically lasts anywhere from six to 12 months, although it can last for several years for some patients. Are the nerves permanently destroyed? No, the nerves regenerate over time. When the nerve grows back, your pain may return, but the procedure can be repeated. Was the recovery and risks, what's the risks? Complications are rare, but include infection, bleeding at the insertion site, temporary numbness or skin irritation. Oh, normal stuff, huh? Interesting thing, pain. That's nuts, man. Just shut, shut off the paint. You kind of want to know if it hurts, though. No. I would imagine like you're doing more damage if you're.

[Joey Diaz]

If it hurts right, it's like cortisol. You're numbing it, right? And then it keeps getting worse, but you don't feel well.

[Joe Rogan]

Especially cortisone. With cortisone, you can only do that so many Times for like, joints like, it can degrade tendons and stuff. Because some people, their knuckleheads, they just keep getting cortisone shots. Next thing you know, you're shooting, shoulder falls apart.

[Joey Diaz]

You don't know. That's the worst thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you could tear, tear.

[Joey Diaz]

And that's what they'll let you do if you let them. So this is what I'm saying. Unless you check out what options. Listen, it's 20, 26, man. I'm scared of needles. And I'll tell you, half my life I up because I was scared of needles. If I would have just. I don't know what it was. I was just scared of needles. Now I'll take a needle wherever the you want to give it to me. You know what I'm saying? Like, nah, you can shoot me when I'm standing up. I don't.

[Joe Rogan]

Once you get used to doing peptides, needles don't mean shit.

[Joey Diaz]

And those are diabetic needles. They don't do fucking shit.

[Joe Rogan]

It's good to stop taking medicine if you don't want to take medicine. Ah, that makes sense. So if you're in pain anyway. Yeah. So a success rate is 70 to 85%. It's most stressful when the procedure targets the medial branch nerves responsible for facet joint arthritis. Success typically defined as 50% or greater reduction in lower back pain pain, better physical function, reduced need for pain medication. That's big because some people, they're just to especially back stuff. Some people are just in agony. Every day they wake up and they're just in agony. And it's a long road back, you know, to getting. If you have back pain, it's a long road to heal that. And you got to be very, very smart about it. And you got to stretch. That's one thing that a lot of people don't like to do. A lot of lower back pain pain.

[Joey Diaz]

You.

[Joe Rogan]

A lot of that is just everything's tight. And you can stretch and relieve a lot of that. A lot of that.

[Joey Diaz]

Yoga comes in handy. You don't go anymore, do you? You don't go anymore.

[Joe Rogan]

I do a lot of yoga things though.

[Joey Diaz]

A house.

[Joe Rogan]

I haven't. Yeah, we actually have a yoga room in the studio. I've never used it. We got a heated room. We could crank that up to 105 degrees and do.

[Joey Diaz]

You haven't done the real life. I'll tell you what else I did after the surgery that worked. Hyperbaric chamber. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. That's big.

[Joey Diaz]

I did that twice A week. I still got six left.

[Joe Rogan]

Recovery for recovery. That's fantastic.

[Joey Diaz]

And my oxygen levels are always low, Joe. I gotta figure, I gotta talk to ways to. Well, tomorrow every morning I wake up 88%. You know, I'm always in the red zone. I gotta. Because I think lack of oxygen is helping me burn fat and a lot of other shit. My oxygen's at 88 some days, 80 fuckin 5.

[Joe Rogan]

Why would that help you burn fat?

[Joey Diaz]

Because you need oxygen. Oxygen to do everything. You need oxygen for a fire.

[Joe Rogan]

So if you have low oxygen, you burn fat.

[Joey Diaz]

How can you recuperate? How can you fully recuperate? No oxygen in your fucking.

[Joe Rogan]

I think, I don't know, I'm not sure that's correct. But I think that the more you exercise, the more you're going to get oxygen in your system. For sure. Hyperbaric pain chamber will help, but once you're like fully healed up and you can really exercise on a regular basis, it'll get back to normal.

[Joey Diaz]

Nah, because I do breath exercise every morning. That's what you have to do. You have to breathe through your nose like 10 times and then hold it. And then I take the.

[Joe Rogan]

What do they think is causing it? The low oxygen.

[Joey Diaz]

They don't know.

[Joe Rogan]

They don't know.

[Joey Diaz]

They don't know nothing. They don't know nothing. They don't want to find out nothing. But I'll take the cord and the clip that you put on your finger. I'll put it on my ear, it gives you a better read.

[Joe Rogan]

What's more accurate so far?

[Joey Diaz]

The ear for me. I learned that from an old Filipino lady in the hospital. She had all the tricks. So I do that, I test it, you know, when I wake up in the morning, I have it. I check my blood pressure like twice a day. It's the best it's been in 20 fucking years.

[Joe Rogan]

I think some of those Fitbits can do that shit now. Can they do that? Do they measure oxygen levels? So there's some of those really advanced wearable devices can measure oxygen levels too. Now I think this. Is that real or is it?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, yeah, they all do. They all do. That's part of the deal. They measure your heart rate. Heart rate variable.

[Joe Rogan]

Like those wearables, like the wrist stuff?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh really?

[Joey Diaz]

So I'll tell you what I got in mine. I got the. In the mornings, it tells you what?

[Joe Rogan]

Are you wearing a whoop?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oxygen levels?

[Joey Diaz]

No, it has respiratory rate.

[Joe Rogan]

I gotta get back on the whoop.

[Joey Diaz]

It's got.

[Joe Rogan]

I used to use it all the time. They've gotten even better.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, this one is a lot better. My heart rate's good today. My oxygen's 91 because I'm here with you. And my skin temperature is minus one, so it takes all that shit.

[Joe Rogan]

My problem with wearables is all these tattoos. So, like this. Okay, it's reading it now. This reads my heart rate. This is a Garmin. It reads my heart rate sometime now. It's not like it doesn't read through the tattoos very well. I have to, like, move it around.

[Joey Diaz]

That's fucking insane. Yeah, that's fucking insane.

[Joe Rogan]

You can't read through the tattoos because the ink's in the way. Doesn't. You know, it's. It's. It's literally using some sort of a visual system. It's like. It's light. Like, if you look at the back of the watch, there's a. There's like a light back there. See?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I have to say, that is flashing into your veins. And then it somehow or another gets information from that.

[Joey Diaz]

And that's how it tells you I'm the same thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. So the problem is all these tattoos. I thought about, like, removing my tattoos just around the whole. The circle where the watch goes just like, go get it lasered. I might do it because I don't see that. Anyway. I'm always. No, I always have a watch on. And so, like, now it's reading.

[Joey Diaz]

They're speaking about, you know, burning your nerves and all that. And that thing that. I remember one year I had a fung. I still got a fungi toenail, but I had the really bad fungi toenail. And I saw a thing in Groupon for a company in Studio City that blowtorched it with heat for six sessions

[Joe Rogan]

to kill the fungus.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. No, it never worked. But I went anyway. The lady would put, like, a mask on, and she'd look at my tongue. Like, you could see a fucking. And as she was burning it, you could smell the fungus burning it. Smells like dead fucking assholes. And she would be there, and I would ask her questions. So she'd have to pull the mask off, Take a whiff of this fucking fungi toenail. Oh, there's times I buff it out myself now. Cause nobody will buff it out for me. Like, I can't take it to a Chinese woman. They'll lose their mind.

[Joe Rogan]

Can you put, like, antifungus cream?

[Joey Diaz]

I put everything on it. It's too deep. This fungus runs deep. This is. This is the fungus I brought back from Cuba. And it's it fucking pops up. From time to time. I get under my tit. Like, it just. The fungus just grows. I don't know what I have to eat. Like, some days I eat something and it backfires and I get all these fungus marks. I get all itchy and out of a creep. But this bitch burnt that toe for six weeks. And every week I would ask her more creepy questions. She would have to take that mask off and smell that fungus dog. It was horrible. When she would walk out, she closed the door like, I was like, nope. And the thing never worked. She never burned me once. But she was serious with that blowtorch.

[Joe Rogan]

It didn't work?

[Joey Diaz]

No, it did nothing. I told you, the fungus is too deep. So to get rid of that, you have to do a liver test to see how strong, because the zapping is fucking hard on your body, and it's really hard on your liver. So my liver didn't cut it. So they can't zap me with that medication.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's? She couldn't talk anymore. They gave her five grams of psilocybin. Mushrooms.

[Joey Diaz]

And she's singing opera now.

[Joe Rogan]

All of a sudden she came back.

[Joey Diaz]

It's unbelievable. She started talking.

[Joe Rogan]

They said she hadn't talked in a long time. She could remember things.

[Joey Diaz]

I know for a fact. I got a good buddy of mine that studied. That was his childhood thing. Every time he smoked crack. You should have seen that. Not a strut in there. He talks to you straight.

[Joe Rogan]

Paul. You know Paul Stamets, the mushroom expert? He's been on this podcast many times. He's a legitimate mycologist. Like a scientist. He had a horrible stutter when he was a kid. Took 10 grams.

[Joey Diaz]

Gone, gone, gone. It's unreal. And people will still go, nah, mushrooms are deadly. They're gonna kill you. Fuck you.

[Joe Rogan]

Isn't that craz?

[Joey Diaz]

You need to see the devil every once in a while in your life. And that's what people don't. They don't see the downside. Because eating those mushrooms from time to time makes you step out like THC does and makes you look at yourself and make, like, a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life.

[Joe Rogan]

What are you doing with your life? You're chewing that fucking Zen and talking at the same time.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. I don't know. Don't stay there.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. The real problem is that it's illegal. You know what they should do with that. You know what they did with Colorado with 39% tax. Tax. Make mushrooms 100% tax. At 100%, we'll still buy. People still buy. Make it legal tax at 100%. You know, much money they would generate. And I guarantee you. Well, I was going to say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms, but they definitely would if you. But it'd be good for everybody.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, the only thing that stalls people from mushrooms is the taste. Most people put it in the grinder and then they put it in capsules and they do it that way. All different things.

[Joe Rogan]

That should not be a hurdle in2022.

[Joey Diaz]

You told me you were going to get that property a couple years ago, which you didn't get. I thought you were going to grow mushrooms out there, like, get somebody to set it up. And Joe Rogan's mushrooms. Why? I would never do that with your fucking recipe.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, no, it's. That's, that's not legal. I would not. Texas, I mean, it's not legal federally. That's the problem. I mean, this is part of what Trump is trying to change with this Psychedelics Act. So all that shit was made illegal in 1970. It was the Nixon administration, the Controlled Substances Act. If that hadn't happened in 1970, we'd be living in a better world. Like, legitimately, we would be living in a better world. You'd have way more people having access to this stuff. Way more people that could get over whatever the. Their hurdle is, whatever problem they have, whatever it is, it's not for everybody. There's a lot of people that shouldn't do it. There's a lot of people that are schizophrenic and that they just need one mushroom trip and one. They're gone and they're never coming back. There's a lot of people that are hanging on. They're hanging on. And one edible. One mushroom trip. One, one. One meeting with the devil and they never come back. That's true, but those people were already fucked. That's the problem. But for the rest of us, for the rest of the world, which is like most things, like some people eat a Brazil nut. They're dead, right? Some people eat peanuts and they're dead. They have a deadly allergy to peanuts. I could eat peanuts all day long.

[Joey Diaz]

Can you look up? How many people die? Are you from fucking peanuts?

[Joe Rogan]

It's quite a few.

[Joey Diaz]

Come on.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's quite a few. It's kind of shocking.

[Joey Diaz]

Why?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, here's the really Crazy thing, a lot of people think it has to do with vaccines. They think this is Brett Weinstein's proposal is that when you take that vaccine, so there's aluminum in the vaccine. That's an irritant.

[Joey Diaz]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

And this is what fires up your immune system. And then there's the dead virus. So your body develops these.

[Joey Diaz]

Look at that. One to four annually. Give me a lot of people, huh?

[Joe Rogan]

It's a lot of people.

[Joey Diaz]

No, four people.

[Joe Rogan]

Four whole people. What about in the world? How many people die about. It's four in the world because none of them die anywhere else. Food allergies in general, response to about 100 deaths.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, this. This is all made up white people. Sh.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, there's a few people, though, they just avoid the peanuts. But there are people that if they get peanuts, they'll die. Bret Weinstein thinks it has to do with eating peanuts right after you've been vaccinated. And that something. I don't know if he's right, but something about your body reacting is the reason why your body creates this antibody to the dead vac, the dead virus that's in the vaccine. You know, if you give someone whatever it is, any. Figure out whatever the disease, diseases, you have a dead virus and then you have this irritant. So the two of them together, your body reacts to this aluminum. And it used to be what is the other. They don't put in it. There was mercury, ethylmercury and methylmercury, the two different types of mercury. They've tried to do that in vaccines, but there's problems with that too. Obviously mercury is toxic, so is aluminum. But he thinks that if you have aluminum from this vaccine and you're in contact with other things at the same time, you could develop an analogy for those things, whether it's wheat gluten, whether it's animals, whatever it is. Like it's possible, he believes, to develop an allergy when you get vaccinated. And he thinks that's with the rise in vaccines and the rise in food allergies, he thinks those are connected.

[Joey Diaz]

Now, let me ask you this.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know if he's right.

[Joey Diaz]

If you went to your great. Your grandfather knew, he's an immigrant, and came over and you told me you had a penalty. How many times did he smack you in the fucking face?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, he wasn't a violent man. He was very.

[Joey Diaz]

But still kind of Joe, what the fuck? Peanuts.

[Joe Rogan]

He would make fun of it.

[Joey Diaz]

I grew up on pine nuts. Every fucking day, two pine nuts. I Was allergic to maple syrup.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, the idea of being allergic to bread back then was preposterous. First of all, he would get bread like every two days. They would go down to the local Italian bakery and buy Italian bread. That's the only bread anybody ate in the house. House. It's so funny. Like, I didn't even appreciate it back then. Like, when I'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd be like, why they give it to me on this thick bread? Because you got to cut the bread.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, I'm like, give me some white bread, like a real person. Well, some wonder bread. That's what I wanted. When you're a kid, you want wonder bread.

[Joey Diaz]

I love wonder bread.

[Joe Rogan]

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a one. Like, I'd get whole wheat. I'd be like, what is this horseshit?

[Joey Diaz]

I think you'd be in prison.

[Joe Rogan]

What is this terrible shitty brand? Filled wheat with all. All the fucking chunks of wheat that's in it. Get the fuck out of here with your whole wheat bread. I hated it. Now I love it now. It's the only. Like, if I see like regular white bread, I'm like, ugh, I've never eaten.

[Joey Diaz]

Let me ask you this. That bread that your grandfather was getting in Hoboken, in Newark. Newark, two blocks away. They were old school Italian people. They made everything in the 70s and 60s with all the shit that's in now.

[Joe Rogan]

I remember the bags.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. White paper bag, White back paper bag. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And the bread tasted great.

[Joey Diaz]

They're fucking great. With a piece of butter, when you

[Joe Rogan]

dip it in the parsley.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, and the red sauce, you go

[Joe Rogan]

crazy so good with butter. You put butter on that bread and you dip it in that pasta sauce. Holy.

[Joey Diaz]

So I stop eating muscles. All right. That's my favorite dish. Muscles with spicy with medium. Yeah. Because you can eat a loaf of bread. I can't. My body can't do that no more.

[Joe Rogan]

Especially with the red sauce.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, a loaf of bread.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, they'll go through the whole loaf

[Joey Diaz]

with the butter or the olive oil and the bread. You need all that. So I said, I can't eat mussels no more. I love. I love muscles. I go to Rudy's, I got some muscles. They're big. They look like a fucking chick. Look like a six foot woman's clit. They're that fucking big. The muscles. You think I'm kidding you? These fucking clit muscles. When I go to other restaurants, you get those little muscles, Then you get a couple big ones. No, no, no, they give you nine big chick gorilla raised fucking pussyclits. And they're huge. And they put a little sauce on it.

[Joe Rogan]

So good.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God. Makes me go fucking.

[Joe Rogan]

There was a Thai place that I used to go to in la. Thai food. And they had mussels and big fucking spicy mussels. They were huge. So good.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, not the Thai place Eddie took me to. The one next to the fucking 10th planet on LA Brea. Oh, yeah, I went in there with Eddie. 199. I already hate Thai food and Eddie. Come on, I'll buy you lunch. I'm broke.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't like Thai food?

[Joey Diaz]

I went in there, there was ants on the wall. I'm like, what the fuck? But I like the one that you took your shoes off. They had the best shrimp pate in the country.

[Joe Rogan]

You took your shoes off?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. There's one on Sunset, right across the comic book store. Toy. Toy.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, toy tie.

[Joey Diaz]

Toy tie, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that place. Legit.

[Joey Diaz]

Solid place.

[Joe Rogan]

Very good place.

[Joey Diaz]

The best place ever was. What's the place next to the Laugh Factory?

[Joe Rogan]

Greenblatts Deli.

[Joey Diaz]

Greenblatts Deli.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that was. That was a great joint.

[Joey Diaz]

Until I tell you this story. I'm in there with Ralphie Mayweather, and he gets a roast beef sandwich, and he's eating the roast beef, and I could see the ants on his arm. And he opens it up and there's ants all over the sandwich. Listen to me. Call the waiter. The waiter's still charging for half a sandwich.

[Joe Rogan]

That's hilarious.

[Joey Diaz]

He's like, I ain't paying shit. This motherfucker had ants on it. I didn't even eat the other one. The ants were on his fucking arm, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

They weren't in the sandwich. They were on the sand.

[Joey Diaz]

They were in the sandwich, too.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh. So it was just all over the place.

[Joey Diaz]

They were all over the place.

[Joe Rogan]

Green Blatts.

[Joey Diaz]

Green Blatts. Which I'll still eat at. I don't even think it's that.

[Joe Rogan]

I only ate there a few times, which is weird because it was right next door to the Laugh Factory.

[Joey Diaz]

It was good, too.

[Joe Rogan]

I kind of stopped going to the Laugh Factory after a certain point. It was a certain point in, like, the 2000s where I'm like, I think I'm done with this place. And I was mostly at the store.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I like the Laugh Factory and

[Joe Rogan]

I like the improv at the store. I love the improv still. I always did the improv still. But the Laugh Factory to me was like. There was something about It. That was, like, sterile. There was something about it. Not a bad thing, but it was like, very much like a lot of people got TV deals out of the laugh.

[Joey Diaz]

That was the big thing kind of comedy. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, it was. The store was the dream. You know, the laugh factor was nice and everything. But then it was also like, remember Scott Day? He would discourage. He would try to discourage you from going to the laugh factories. Like you're a Comedy Store comic. You know, I'm like, listen, man, I gotta go up everywhere. I can't. I'm developing. I can't be just limiting myself to one.

[Joey Diaz]

But after a while, you're like, I develop better at the store.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, this thing about the store, too. You got three totally different environments. You got the belly room environment, which is like very intimate, very small, 70 people. And then you got the or, which is the gritty. That's. That's the psycho pass at 11:30 on a fucking Tuesday night. And then you got the main room, which is the big show. There was so much opportunity.

[Joey Diaz]

I fucking always hated the main room till the last five years I was there. I just couldn't get the formula for it. But the original room, I knew it, like, everything.

[Joe Rogan]

The original room, you're locked into a living room.

[Joey Diaz]

You're locked into it. And that's. And then the piano and the whole fucking thing.

[Joe Rogan]

The main room was big. Big stage, big crowd. It was big ceiling. Everything was big. It was different. It was a different kind of a show.

[Joey Diaz]

Remember the first time I showcased for Jamie? He's like, man, what are you doing here? You belong in Las Vegas, man. In a showroom. You're not an LA comic.

[Joe Rogan]

That's hilarious. Jamie always had the craziest ideas for people, but he.

[Joey Diaz]

At the end, he was a really good guy. At the end of the day, he really tried hard.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, he loved comedy.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he loved comedy. All those people were very nice. You know, I just went to Nashville for the comedy festival. I ended up doing the old Opry, you know, that theater there. What's the name of the theater?

[Joe Rogan]

Grand Ole Opry.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, and it was great. But the great thing about that, that everybody from the improv was there last night. I saw people that were there for 25 years, and we just were dropping stories. Aaron, the guy Hartman. Hartman looks great. He's a big peptide guy, big everything guy. He lives in Nashville. Joel from Florida. You know when you get to see those guys and you're like, wow, we've been in this shit together forever. Like, I told Aaron, I Met Aaron and Irvine. Then she came to Hollywood. And I was, like, psyched because she gave us an 11 o' clock show and she was pregnant. She was hot. She used to wear the farmer. Those things. The overalls. The overalls. Oh, she was so hot. I still tell her when I talk to her, I always tell her, aaron, you sexy savage. I. He's fucking tormented. But it was really nice to see them and everything, you know, Hartman and me told the story. When I told him I was gonna bang his head off the wall. You know, just craziness, that. Look at us now. We're all in there having a great time. Twenty years ago, we were always at war with one of you guys. We cursed too much, you know, we were talking about when I got fired with Pablo, and then he found out I wasn't doing coke and he felt really bad, you know. So it was. It was just great to see what we've been through together. And now after everything, you're like, fuck, I was there the fucking night Joe started.

[Joe Rogan]

That was in Miami, right?

[Joey Diaz]

That was in Miami. 98. New Years of 99.

[Joe Rogan]

That's crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

And Madonna came in with Chris fucking Rock.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

And to watch somebody New Year's Eve. I forget who the fuck it was. But, yeah, that's. You look at those people. You're like, we took the ride. We were kids. We were fucking kids together.

[Joe Rogan]

And also, you have to think, like, imagine having to employ you. Imagine being a businessman and you got to employ you in 98. God bless him.

[Joey Diaz]

Not good.

[Joe Rogan]

God bless him.

[Joey Diaz]

I remember the improv really liked me and I fucked him over in like, 2006. Who was the guy?

[Joe Rogan]

The original guy at Coconut Grove? The guy who liked to party.

[Joey Diaz]

I forget his name now. Rich. Jeff. Give me a minute. Yeah, give me a minute.

[Joe Rogan]

The original guy.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

He was fun. Crazy, fun guy.

[Joey Diaz]

Really funny. He's from Cleveland. He lived in Cleveland, like, to party. And his wife hit the lottery for a million.

[Joe Rogan]

People didn't realize how nutty Coconut Grove was. That was the nuttiest improv, that improv. We would go out afterwards and have Cuban coffee and eat Cuban sandwiches at like 2 o' clock in the morning.

[Joey Diaz]

Everything new. The newsstand, it was open till 5 and it closed for an hour. And you could drink till all night.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

So they closed from five to six, but whatever booze you had on the table, you could keep. So you would say, give me like eight beers. And then they would open up again at six and you're right there.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey, they closed for One hour at five in the morning.

[Joey Diaz]

I remember one night you were on Conan. Oh, o'. Brien. This is 97, right? No, you did somebody's late show.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay.

[Joey Diaz]

It was the week that our friend got shot. Oh, the Hartman Hartman thing. You can't believe I remember. See, I'm just telling you that I don't know shit. Look up the dates when Hartman got shot. You were on that show. Like you were with me all weekend. And I stayed. And then you went to New York to shoot that. And then that weekend Hartman, you know, But I'll never forget I was involved in the threesome when you were on that talk show. And I'm. It's a chubby chick and a hot chick and we're snorting coke and I'm trying to eat ass and I'm looking at you. I go pull on. Pull on NBC. So I go watch Joe. And I'm watching you as I'm trying to tackle these two animals. I'm like, who the fuck going to believe this chubby chick got up. She's like, you didn't want to be with me anyway. You always wanted the chick. And slammed the door. It was a full night. It was a full night.

[Joe Rogan]

Cocaine.

[Joey Diaz]

But all that. You see these people now and you're like, bro, we all went through it together. Yeah, we all went through it together. What a great thing to have at this time in your life that we all. We're all here, you know, Fucking really nice, man. It makes you go, wow, this comedy life was worth every fucking penny. I got into it.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a fun ride when you look back and you think, like, imagine when you were first starting out. Imagine that it would turn out this way. You never imagined it. And then you look back like, what a fun ride. What an extraordinarily fun life.

[Joey Diaz]

I'll never forget. And you had it pinned down from the beginning. I never even told you this. One of my. I got to LA like January 97. Not summer, like August.

[Joe Rogan]

Nope. No, that's Cleveland improv. I know. I said to you on the one in Miami too. Oh, no, it was the manager. Oh, no worries, though. Thank you, though.

[Joey Diaz]

What are we talking about?

[Joe Rogan]

Something pinned down. Manager. Who the knows we were talking about. Oh, never imagine imagining that looking back on this life like when you first started. I would never imagine it would turn out this way.

[Joey Diaz]

You said something about me once that was. Right. Like I wasn't on the podcast. But you were talking to somebody. I remember when that guy first came on the scene. He was scary. He Had a leather jacket and all this shit. And he was buck wild, you know. I just got to LA and I do a couple spots. The guy is at my first town coordinator at the improv. Said to me, hey, would you like to work Irvine? And I go, yeah. He goes, I got an emcee spot. Go do it next week. My first time ever. I go down there and I had a crazy girlfriend then with all the teeth.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And this motherfucking head chef comes up to me and her and he goes, hey, she's got the same mouth as Geena Davis. The nice cocksucker mouth. That was my first weekend ever. And at first I took it kind of weird. And then after the show, I went up to him and I go, hey, man, who the fuck do you think you are saying something like that? He goes, what are you doing? If you go at me, you'll never work an improv again. I just kicked him in the fucking stomach as hard as I could. They called me the next day, Go, come on, man. I kicked him. The guy fell apart. All of a sudden he wasn't a tough guy no more. I was just so pissed. How can you say that to somebody's fucking girlfriend to her face? I just fucking front kicked him and I hit him somewhere in the stomach. He was holding on. I'm calling Hartman. Call fucking Hartman. I don't give a fuck. I remember getting in the car going, joey, you can't let the old Joey get in the way, man. This is not good. You should have just walked away. But no, why would I walk away? Fuck that shit. That was the problem. A lot of people would walk away from that shit and you just lost. You just became a Hollywood asshole. When you say fuck you, they'll respect you fucking more. A year later, and they did. They ended up giving me more work.

[Joe Rogan]

So was that guy still there when you went back?

[Joey Diaz]

No. He was like a cute cook that thought he was cute, like Orange County. He wasn't gonna get smacked. I don't give a fuck who you are. I fucking kicked that motherfucker. I didn't give a fuck, Jack. I was so buck wild at the store in the beginning when I hit the kid in the head with the microphone. And then they came and got me in La Jolla and I took the pool. The pool. Remember they had that pool table in La Jolla? The bumper. They had a bumper pool table in La Jolla, right? So these guys kept threatening me that they were going to come get me. So I. I got. I became Chuck Norris And Code of Silence. I took all the pool balls and I put them in different places so I had to throw them at him as a weapon. Then I hit all the pool cues. You ever see Code of Silence? That's since Seagal stole it from him in that Bobby Lupo movie. But that was. That was Chuck Norris, when he would fill a bag with both pool cues and hit you in the head with it and shit in the pool hall with the Columbia. Doug and that motherfucker. I saw them. I was sitting outside the La Jolla Stormer. They had that little bench facing the Chinese restaurant. You don't even remember La Jolla no more. And I saw them at the light and they made the turn and I took one of those balls and I kept it right here. And they pulled up and took water pistols out. And I fucking took that ball and threw and everything I had and hit that car. And all of a sudden the fucking car went boom. These took off. Jack.

[Joe Rogan]

Code of Silence. I remember this because this was like the first, like, real movie movie that, like, got respected by. It wasn't just a karate movie. It was a movie that was about, like an undercover cop movie. Right?

[Joey Diaz]

Wasn't it? Against the Columbia.

[Joe Rogan]

But it was. The fighting part was just part of it. But this wasn't that. It was, you know, it was just a karate movie. Like most of his other movies were just karate, karate movies. Or, you know, they were kind of campy, like missing in action. It was a lot. A lot of it based on the karate. This was, oh, we got hit by the pool ball. Oh, they jump them. This is a terrible movie.

[Joey Diaz]

This is terrible.

[Joe Rogan]

I thought it was the back then. So when you watch it now, you're like, this is the corniest fight scene of all time. These guys would overwhelm him.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, man. Good men Wear black. Chuck Norris had a couple movies where he showed his. This was not one of them. Walker. Sheriff Marshall was not one of them. Okay. With the wig doing push ups. Still on channel 89. That wasn't him. I love Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris made some good movies early on that were dark. That's why nobody talks about good women Black. What's the other one? The Octagon.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You forget about all those. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Is this Good Men, Good guys wear black? 1978.

[Joey Diaz]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

How many fucking people did this guy get into martial arts? Like, how many people because of Chuck Norris movies wind up doing martial arts? A shitload.

[Joey Diaz]

I got into Tang. So do because of him. Because he was one of the first Tanks, guys. And he split. He made his own thing or whatever the fuck.

[Joe Rogan]

It's kind of amazing when you think about how many karate guys didn't make it. Like how many guys didn't become karate movie stars and Chuck Norris did. How many of them were there. How many karate guys wanted to be movie stars and couldn't figure it out. And he did.

[Joey Diaz]

I saw every martial arts film made in the 70s, even with the black exploitation. The movie was called, called 3 the Hard Way. Jim Brown, Jim Kelly and the other really good black looking at Jim Kelly. Jim Kelly was trying to break into that thing. There was a lot of movies. And then after Bruce Lee died, the whole thing opened up. Yeah, Jet lie, Jet Lou, Bruce lie, Bruce lie. You had all these Bruces and that just that that was the end of it. But I was notorious. I wanted to see all those movies grow, growing up. Billy Jack, you don't remember Billy?

[Joe Rogan]

I remember Billy Jack the Indian. Oh yeah, I remember. I remember the black hat. I remember the whole deal. I'm going to put this foot on

[Joey Diaz]

that side of your face. All that shit. They even had a white Mormon dude be a martial. Everybody, Chinese, black, everybody played kung fu. Everybody. And that movie Code of Silence is Dennis Farina's one of his first movies. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a psycho kick in that movie. Fucking. You just, you know, people forget how many kung fu movies or martial art based movies they actually made in the 70s. Unreal.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And the shit that was getting sent here from China, it's like kid porn. They were just sending me every weekend. Chinese people beating up on Chinese people, jumping. Remember? The more they got older, like by 70s, Bruce died in 73. By 76, there was movies that the guy had like a thing of gold, it weighed like 10, 2 tons. And he would throw it up a hill and then jump and catch it on top of the hill. Come on now, you lost me. The One Armed Swordsman. You lost me. You know, the guy's got one arm and he's fucking.

[Joe Rogan]

Some dudes love those kung fu movies. They were completely recreated.

[Joey Diaz]

And forget about black people recreate. Like, you know, when people talk about Bruce Lee. It was a sensational cultural fucking phenomenon when he came. And the people that think about all the people he opened up to martial art movies and martial arts in general. I mean, Chuck Norris was the second half of it, you know, Bruce was the first, Chuck Norris was the second. And I hate to admit it, UFC is the third big wave of that that, you know, nobody goes to karate no more. Okay. How many karate schools you got? It's for kids. 10. They make them hit a paper.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, they're going to jiu jitsu schools.

[Joey Diaz]

They're going to all different schools. So, yeah, it's changed. The culture has changed. You know, in 73, everybody went to wing chun. Kung fu. Yep. You taught judo. You became a wing chun dude now because you weren't gonna make no money off judo. Nobody was doing judo back then. You had to go to Brooklyn to get sabat classes. Remember Savate, the French? Yeah, you had to go to Brooklyn. In those days, New York had everything. But then when, like, our friend, the one who does the MMA podcast with you, Matt Serra, When Matt Serra got into Jiu Jitsu, he would have to go from Long island all the way to, like, close to Philadelphia. It'd be three hours on Sundays. Jiu Jitsu wasn't everywhere yet. When he got into it, he would have to travel. I think he told the story one of these podcasts. He would have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays. They just did Jiu jitsu on Sundays. Cause that's all that was available. Now you got a jujitsu school on every fucking corner. Who's that because of? That's because of the ufc, man. It just blew it, the right open. So who knows? I may be wrong.

[Joe Rogan]

No, I think you're right for sure. The UFC opened up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Hoist Gracie. Hoist Gracie. Winning the first ufcs, that opened up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu all over the country,

[Joey Diaz]

saying, what the fuck is this?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it was a completely new. I mean, there was no Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in America. You never even talked about it. I did martial arts my whole life. I never even heard of it. You heard of it, but I don't even know.

[Joey Diaz]

It was so far off to you.

[Joe Rogan]

I barely even paid attention to it. It was like, it could have been anything. And then all sudden, the UFC came along. It's like, oh, my God. That's the thing that everybody needs to learn. That's what's wild now. It's like, how many people trained martial arts in comparison to, like, 50 years ago? It's not. There's no comparison. There's way more people that know how to fight now than, like, ever before

[Joey Diaz]

and ever before, or at least they know to how to neutralize somebody.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, a lot of people are training now.

[Joey Diaz]

That's what they're doing. People are learning to neutralize people. Anybody who studies Jiu jitsu ain't gonna bully you. Okay, they're gonna neutralize you on the street. What are you gonna do, break your shoulder on the street? They're trying to neutralize you, hold you down. Hey, take a breath. Relax. Don't swing at me, because I'll break this arm.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you ever see the video of Matt's era? I think it was in Atlantic South City and might have been Vegas Somewhere in a casino, some drunk guy is causing problems, and Matt winds up taking him down and mounting him until the. The cops come. He's just holding on to the guy. He's just sitting on the guy, holding on. There it is. The guy's swinging. Look at Matt. Like, you've got a literal Brazilian Jiu Jitsu world champion, and he's just mounting you, laughing. Like you think about picking on the wrong guy. He's just holding on. I mean, the guy. Guy's completely helpless. I don't remember the whole story behind this. Look at the security guard coming. I was like, relax. I got this guy.

[Joey Diaz]

You and I both know Matt could knee him, kick him in the face, and get up and leave.

[Joe Rogan]

He could literally.

[Joey Diaz]

This is what I'm telling you. The Jiu jitsu, that atmosphere doesn't teach you to do that. It just holds you down going, hey,

[Joe Rogan]

well, he's nothing to prove, you know.

[Joey Diaz]

No, catch your breath.

[Joe Rogan]

He's laughing. He's a world champion. I mean, I don't know if he had been the UFC champion by that time, but, you know, what are you gonna do?

[Joey Diaz]

Come over somebody on the street and break their shoulder? Now you have to live.

[Joe Rogan]

You're gonna go to jail.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you're gonna go to jail. I know Jiu Jitsu. People take you down, like their bouncers.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

They just neutralize you.

[Joe Rogan]

It was the night before his hall of Fame induction to the fc. Okay, so that's way past the time that he won the title. Yeah. That's hilarious. That's. That's very funny. That poor guy. Imagine, like, knowing that guy could have killed you.

[Joey Diaz]

You.

[Joe Rogan]

And he was just so nice. All he did was hold your wrists and sit on your chest for a little while.

[Joey Diaz]

Look at him. He would look like he was on a boat having a good time. He's like, hey, somebody get me a water or something.

[Joe Rogan]

The guy's literally helpless. He has no fear whatsoever. That guy, hurting him, you know, it's like. It's like a child. It's like your little child's having a temper tantrum. Like, come on, it's Matt. Sarah. It's funny. There's so Many dummies out there. This is part of the problem in this world. It's hard to get your to together. So many people just stumble through life just never getting their together.

[Joey Diaz]

My friend last night, she has like a cooking show on YouTube. She goes, I stop doing it, Joey. Because my mother would watch and these people would say like the weirdest, like, you know, everything. Show me your tits. Show me your. You can't cook. And you're like, you know, how much longer am I going to take this shit for?

[Joe Rogan]

People are so horrible.

[Joey Diaz]

They're fucking horrible on the Internet, you know, She's a young girl, looking good. She's like, joey, I had to cancel the fucking thing. She was doing like a workout, a cooking thing. She goes, no, I just play with my cats. That's it. People love cats. She goes, that's it. But it's impossible, the shit you say.

[Joe Rogan]

There's so many animals out there and

[Joey Diaz]

they're out there and they don't give a fuck and they say shit.

[Joe Rogan]

It's also the zero consequences for saying horrible shit.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And they're trying to get a rise out of the other people in the comments too. So they're trying to say outrageous shit so that other people react to it. It. So that you'll read it, you'll react to it.

[Joey Diaz]

It's the dumbest thing ever.

[Joe Rogan]

It is. I was thinking this last night. It's kind of a crazy thought, but, you know, everyone is addicted right now to social media and addicted to going online and just addicted to content. You're constantly getting content. You're constantly interacting with your phone. And this is a very new thing, right? It's within the last 20 years, this has happened to people. This is like prepping us for what's coming next. Next we're going to look back on these days and we're going to realize, oh, the addictions to the phones, the addictions to staring at the screens and checking your email and looking at YouTube and looking at Instagram and looking at Twitter. That's just preparing you for you being completely connected to electronics forever. This is like the early stages of it. I was thinking about it last night while I was watching this television show.

[Joey Diaz]

Show.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm watching this crazy show. It's called From. Have you seen this show? No, no, it's nuts. By the guys who made Lost. One of the dudes that's in Lost is the main star of it. It's a great show. Like really good show. Like, very unpredictable, twisted. Just like Lost. Like, crazy show about these people Stuck in this town that can't get out. It's impossible to get out. But I was thinking while I was watching this, I was like, why? Why is everyone. Because no one has a phone there. And everyone's just locked in into this place. I was like, your phone is preparing you. The addiction to our phones are preparing us to the next stage of what life is going to be like as a person. This is just the gate. The phones are the gate. But what's coming next, you're going to reminisce about the days of the phone. Oh, you remember when we had phones, we had to look things up. You had a little thing. You got to charge it. Remember when you had to charge it? That's how we're going to be. We're moving into some weird new area. They're building these data centers everywhere. And everyone's like, oh, the data center.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, great.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, what? What is that? What are you doing? Why are you building these things that need to be powered by nuclear reactors? Why? Why are you building these things that are sucking up all the water? Why are they putting these things out in the middle of the desert? Biggest five football fields. Huge giant buildings filled with computers. Like, what the fuck are we doing? And the gates is this goddamn phone. This phone is the gate. We're opening up the door to us being completely integrated.

[Joey Diaz]

My daughter can't watch a whole movie.

[Joe Rogan]

They have no attention span.

[Joey Diaz]

Forty minutes in, she has to leave, and then she'll start it from the next day. I had to watch Scarface, though.

[Joe Rogan]

You had her watch Scarface?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, because we do experimentals at the house. We did the fight club. We do all that shit. So she said, dad, I always only watch the part when he shoots the brother in law. You know, that's the only part. It's always on when I come down, I go, I want to watch from the beginning. She enjoyed it for a little while. I went upstairs after one scene. I'm like, I can't watch this again. She goes, I'll stay up. Two days later. Mother goes, did you see the review she wrote on it? And I don't know. She goes, take a look at it. And she's like, I enjoyed the movie. I was a fan because it was Cuban American. But then as the movie rolled on, I figured, these Cubans don't know how to treat women. He goes, they were smacking them and shooting. All you do is turn around, wait up for me. She didn't fucking like the. That law. She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, But Jesus Christ, they're so mean to their women. I'm like, do I act like that? She goes, no, but that's cocaine days. Yeah, she said, she goes, that gave men a different thing. I go, mercy, that was 40 years ago.

[Joe Rogan]

Not only that, you're dealing with the people that were the criminals of Cuba, that were kicked out of Cuba, that made their way to America. Like, this is not normal people.

[Joey Diaz]

No, normal. And now they're about to let the second half out.

[Joe Rogan]

What are they doing to Cuba right now?

[Joey Diaz]

Well, they're not surviving. They don't have any power, no gasoline. It's funny because every couple days I get an algorithm which is promoting Cuban videos. Cuban videos. People in Cuba like that had kids going to work out. Joe. They took them to like this little place. Everything had papers on it. They did pull ups, sit ups with the head. The pipes were broken. You gotta see these fucking kids doing full workouts. What? We wouldn't even look at their bodyweight workouts. You know, they talk and they go around Varadero and interview people. And I don't know what this is doing. I don't know what this is doing because we're two years away from Cuba being legit. They're gonna go back down there after this whole thing goes around. Whatever, whatever they decide they can't get fuel from Venezuela, how long is it going to take? I mean, they're not going to be happy till they have a Starbucks in Cuba.

[Joe Rogan]

So what happened was they were getting their oil from Venezuela, right?

[Joey Diaz]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

We took over Venezuela, we cut off their oil, cut them off. And so what is the United States trying to do with Cuba right now? They're trying to get rid of the communist government.

[Joey Diaz]

They're trying to. Well, they're going to. They charge Raul Castro with something recently. That's the beginning. This is going to end up like Noriega, Fidel's brother. You're going to wake up one day and. And on ABC News, there they are in Cuba pulling people out.

[Joe Rogan]

Doesn't China and Russia have a relationship with Cuba? Is not a problem.

[Joey Diaz]

Not really. Because they're not paying their bills. That's why Cuba started when they had Russia. Russia was fucking doing everything. But then they didn't need them no more and they cut them off. I think they do small trades for sugar.

[Joe Rogan]

It is kind of crazy for the United States to have an enemy that's 90 minutes offshore and a boat. Trump administration said on 2026, May 20th indicted former Cuban president Raul Castro for murder based on the downing of two planes near the Cuman coastline in 1996. It killed four people. As a historian of Latin American US foreign policy, I believe the indictment may be the prelude to a direct US military action against Cuba.

[Joey Diaz]

This is the beginning.

[Joe Rogan]

This is Kevin a. Young from UMass Amherst. First before Castro. The last U.S. indictment of a Latin American leader occurred in January of 2026. That's the Venezuela thing. Since January, US has ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba and has economic and military pressure to prevent other nations from trading with the island. Trump recently threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba. I believe what's missing from most recent analysis of this situation is the history of US aggression against Cuba is essential context for understanding the Trump administration's recent escalations.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, once they indict you, they call them for you. It's just a matter of time.

[Joe Rogan]

Like the Senate and they're just starving the country.

[Joey Diaz]

We walk up. Yeah, they just.

[Joe Rogan]

And then they'll come up with a solution. Here's your solution.

[Joey Diaz]

They're not telling you there's a shooting or two in Cuba every night. Cuba's not getting. There's no power. There's no electricity. They have roaring recalls. And that was yesterday.

[Joe Rogan]

Earthquake. Yeah. Biggest one in 150 years.

[Joey Diaz]

So they're just fucking. They're doing everything they can.

[Joe Rogan]

Said it was the biggest one in over 150 years. Oh, my God.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. So everything is looking like right now. That's it. They can survive this.

[Joe Rogan]

Fuck.

[Joey Diaz]

So.

[Joe Rogan]

So what happens to those people? They just wait this out. Where the United States. And so they get no resources, no supplies.

[Joey Diaz]

You got two things in Cuba. You have people that don't know. You never watched that. 30 for 30 with El Duque when they won the championship. And they said people in New York were throwing toilet paper and the wife was grabbing it, saying, in Cuba, this is gold. Why are you throwing away toilet paper? We have no toilet paper in Cuba. That's a mentality. So 50% of those people have been brainwashed where they, you know, every day there's a bullhorn. Buenos dias. Pasiotas. You know, when the Communists, whatever they call each other, comrades, we're winning the war. We're getting close. What do you mean, I'm getting close? Closer. I'm down to 118. I was walking around at 170. How are we getting closer to a victory? So they're getting sick of that. They say the bugs that land on you at night are fucking just atrocious. These bugs, you know they have real fucking bugs on that island. Not to mention they all have syphilis. Cubans have syphilis. I think half my fungi toenail is syphilis because it smells like it. You know what I'm saying? But on the fucking not jokey thing, Cuba's got two weeks left. Two weeks from today.

[Joe Rogan]

And so you think they're going to invade?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, they're going to invade. Take Maduro, take Raul out, and then what do you got?

[Joe Rogan]

You're going to install some new.

[Joey Diaz]

I remember a couple months ago there was a shooting in Cuba of a boat. You remember that, right? Right, Jamie, some people were out there fishing and the Cuban navy shot him, what, like three months ago? Oh, yeah, this is.

[Joe Rogan]

They shoot.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know. They were investigating it.

[Joe Rogan]

Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and tell them prepare for an invasion. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. That's June 7th.

[Joey Diaz]

That's yesterday. Sunday. We're two weeks away.

[Joe Rogan]

Distributing weapons to citizens in fear of a US invasion. They reportedly started handing out weapons to civilians as the government urges population to prepare for a potential US invasion. Reports from South American publication version final stated. Against the backdrop of the deployment of American military power near the island, the government of Havana began distributing weapons to citizens, officially urging them to prepare for an imminent foreign invasion. What if the citizens use that weapon to take over the country?

[Joey Diaz]

Which they should do. That's what they fucking should do. Just call the fucking crazy risk.

[Joe Rogan]

Start handing out guns to people. All sudden, your population's armed and you're telling them what to do. And they don't have any money. And you don't have any money either.

[Joey Diaz]

Look, a man. When I started doing okay, I contacted my sister. I offered her a free ticket out of Cuba. Money, whatever I got, half is yours. You're my blood, you know? Right? I don't know if I can do that. Okay, why don't we do this? Why don't I fly you to Jersey, you go to your mother's grand grave. You go see where her house was, her way of life, and then I'll take you back. She told me I can never do that because I'm married to one of Fidel's guys. I don't even want to go to the United States.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, geez.

[Joey Diaz]

So she was so brainwashed. And after that, she was still my sister, but I couldn't help her.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you're used to what you're used to.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, and that's what it was.

[Joe Rogan]

Big chance of coming to America and not knowing where you're going to Eat and how you're going to live and where you're going to get money. Are you going to work?

[Joey Diaz]

Work? They got programs for all those people. They got churches. Cuban people have churches. They're Catholics.

[Joe Rogan]

Is there also a thing where you. If you leave Cuba. I think there's. It's a cleaner path to get to become a United States citizen.

[Joey Diaz]

Right?

[Joe Rogan]

You're fleeing.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. It's easier. I think so. Something like that.

[Joe Rogan]

If you're fleeing for violent dictatorship, for community military dictatorship. Dictatorship, dude. It's just like what are they gonna do about that?

[Joey Diaz]

And then you gotta. We're talking about Vegas. What's gonna happen in Vegas if Cuba reopens?

[Joe Rogan]

What do you mean?

[Joey Diaz]

They're gonna put gambling back there. You know the Americans are gonna put gambling back there. They're in negotiations already with habit already.

[Joe Rogan]

They talking turn into a resort, a

[Joey Diaz]

location they're not gonna rip down. The architecture that original architectures will mace Cuba and, and the cars and shit. But also something else. And I know America knows this. Those oceans are booby trap up to a mile out of Cuba. There's a ton of shit that they have booby trapped mines, all that shit. They planted those during the Bay of Pigs invasion.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at this. Cuba 1957. 1957, back when the mob ran it.

[Joey Diaz]

Look, everybody dressed impeccably.

[Joe Rogan]

They would go there, no flip flops, no nothing. They loved it back. They loved going to Cuba. People would go there, live it up.

[Joey Diaz]

And sex was free and cheap and you could fuck a chicken those days. You'd get fucked in the ass by

[Joe Rogan]

a guy with a must have been amazing dog.

[Joey Diaz]

It was unreal. That's why the whole point of Kennedy and all that was for them to get Cuba back. The Italians, they were making too much money out of Cuba and now they want to start to put drugs in there and shit towards when they took it down. Cuba's been fucking riddled with bullshit for years. Every bad luck that they have they created in the 50s and 40s because it was a sex heaven. Americans would go down there on a Friday and not come back. And you know, whatever it costs here, 8,000 will cost you $80 to get your dick sucked for 3 days and fed people rubbing your feet and shit.

[Joe Rogan]

Castro revolution had a major effect on Las Vegas. Look at that. Closure of Havana casinos spurred exodus to the death desert. Wow. Frank Mears father, especially people in the who.

[Joey Diaz]

Frank Mears father.

[Joe Rogan]

What do you mean Frank Mears father?

[Joey Diaz]

Frank Mears father was a casino. So that's how he Ended up in Vegas.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, I thought you said his name is Miranda. No. So Frank Meir's father was a casino dealer in Cuba. When Cuba closed down, he went right to Vegas. So a lot of those people went right to Vegas. Wow. Really interesting.

[Joe Rogan]

That is interesting. It makes sense because that those are the two places. And if you're on the east coast, the trip to Cuba is easy.

[Joey Diaz]

With 30 minutes.

[Joe Rogan]

It's like going to Florida.

[Joey Diaz]

30 minutes. It was what you and your wife would do on the weekend. What are we doing?

[Joe Rogan]

How far is the flight from New York City to New York City to Florida is what, an hour?

[Joey Diaz]

Three.

[Joe Rogan]

Three hours.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, because Trump is down there now. So they go a different way now. No, you can't go straight to Fort Lauderdale or Miami. You gotta go outside that range. If he's.

[Joe Rogan]

What did he used to.

[Joey Diaz]

To be?

[Joe Rogan]

2, 2. 2 hours. So new York City to Cuba is only an extra half hour.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it.

[Joe Rogan]

So like, less than three hours.

[Joey Diaz]

Three hours you'll be on the island.

[Joe Rogan]

So it's basically the same as Vegas then. Yeah, it's the middle.

[Joey Diaz]

The middle.

[Joe Rogan]

But you have the. You're on an island, it's a resort.

[Joey Diaz]

Nobody knows what's going on.

[Joe Rogan]

It's beautiful.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, I told you that my mother would tell me how all those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba, especially Rock Hudson. They would go. That's when they would suck dick on the weekends.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Rock Hudson. That makes sense.

[Joey Diaz]

So all those Hollywood people would go to Cuba, lock themselves in. There was no tmz, there was no press.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, these people in Cuba don't have a new. You know, how are they going to get the paid?

[Joe Rogan]

And everything's run by the mobs. It's like just all sin and vice.

[Joey Diaz]

Whenever you get a minute, you run. You read that Evan Nocturne, that book.

[Joe Rogan]

What is the first called?

[Joey Diaz]

It's a Van Denoch Turn. It's a revolution from three different places. Union City, New Jersey, New York City and Miami. And how. Oh, no, no, not Miami. New York City, Tampa. And how those three cities were, like, involved in that whole.

[Joe Rogan]

What do you think is going to happen to Cuba? If you had a guess.

[Joey Diaz]

If I had a guess. Come on. I'm already seeing dollar signs. If you're a casino right now, with how bad casinos are doing there, you're looking at that right there.

[Joe Rogan]

You're looking. Nocturne. How the Mob Own. How the Mob Owned Cuba and Then Lost it to the Revolution.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Excellent book. Excellent.

[Joe Rogan]

And so that was Kennedy trying To get rid of the mob.

[Joey Diaz]

That's why they, when the mob put. Listen, Kennedy's father went to Chicago and he talked to those people. They had the pool. If you live in Chicago or where else you win the primary. I don't know how it works, Joe. I'm not a political guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they definitely helped Kennedy.

[Joey Diaz]

They helped Kevin he get into office.

[Joe Rogan]

But then when he got into office

[Joey Diaz]

he didn't help get Fidel back. Then the brother double timed them and then they started shooting and I don't know who shot Kennedy's. I'm just saying this.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, the mob definitely didn't like him. They were very upset. They cut into that pocket and he helped. The mob helped him get into office in the first place.

[Joey Diaz]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

And then once he got in, they started prosecuting people and like hey, then

[Joey Diaz]

he fucked them with the Bay of Pigs. When he pulled off air support at

[Joe Rogan]

the last minute, obviously he didn't know that they were going to do this. And then when they told him about it, he denied air support. And air support was critical to the success of the mission.

[Joey Diaz]

Absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

And Operation Mongoose. Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret government project to topple the Cuban communist regime working parallel to the CIA's mob assisted efforts. But this is after the revolution, right? This was when Fidel was running Cuba. Right, right.

[Joey Diaz]

They were trying everything they do to kill fucking Fidel. They were doing everything to stop.

[Joe Rogan]

This is after. So what spurred the Cuban takeover of the military's taking over of Cuba? Mob bosses like Sam Giancana and Santo Trafficante were recruited to help eliminate Castro. Using methods like poison pillars, pills. Mafia wanted Castro gone so they could reopen their multi million dollar Cuban operations. Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

That's all it was, it was money.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

Big money. Untraceable.

[Joe Rogan]

Imagine untraceable.

[Joey Diaz]

Nothing. No, nothing.

[Joe Rogan]

And you're over there living the life nobody knows nothing.

[Joey Diaz]

Maya Lansky eating Cuban food every day.

[Joe Rogan]

They probably had it all set up. It was nice. And then the rest.

[Joey Diaz]

Kosher Cuban food every day, mild ass.

[Joe Rogan]

So what did the people think? The people think that these mob motherfuckers, they've taken over our country. Let's let Castro come in and we'll be socialists and everything will be great. Or did they just get taken over?

[Joey Diaz]

They got taken. What happened was Castro went in there. Batista was horrible. Batista was fucking no better than Castro. So when Castro took over, he was to take over Batista and make Cuba blah blah blah, the conglomeration. He became a communist somewhere along the line. And then when he Took over Cuba. That's when he shut the casinos down. He destroyed the fucking casinos, you know? And then the Italians got mad. They all came back. And then they were just. They thought it was going to be temporary. This is going to be temporary. We'll clean over this. So for years, Italians were just watching the news, waiting for somebody to kill. Fucking casual, it was the Italians.

[Joe Rogan]

And then when they thought that the United States was gonna go in there and invade, like, oh, good, we're all set.

[Joey Diaz]

I wish there was more film from those days so people could see. Like, my mother explained things to me. I wish she was still alive, because I could have. Like, she said that Italian food was different in Cuba. She goes, first off, the pizzas had lobster on them and shrimp already back then in the 50s they were making. She didn't like the pizza in the United States. She goes, not this. They put fresh shrimp from the fucking ocean. Lobster, fucking all these other things. They got these pies now in New York. I'm scared to try them. I can't. They put calamari on the pizza. How fat can you get? How fucking fat do you want to be? You go to these pizza places in Jersey, dog. It's like ziti. A pound of ziti on a slice of pizza.

[Joe Rogan]

There's pizza places in Jersey that are just going off. And the sandwich places in Jersey. Jersey.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, your boy. Your boy's going off.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Giovanni. But that's. That's White Plains.

[Joey Diaz]

That's still.

[Joe Rogan]

That's phenomenal. I've been doing nothing like Italian delis on the East Coast.

[Joey Diaz]

There's nothing like that smell like that cheese when you walk in, and the olives and.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it's insane.

[Joey Diaz]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. There's too much pizza. Like, it just too much, you know, it's funny, when I moved down, like, I'm scared to gain weight. The pizza I eat one side slice a week. Maybe. Maybe since I had the knee surgery, I've been doing the podcast at the house. So I've been ordering pizza from this one place, and my buddies go crazy. That's the best pizza we've ever had. It's thin, sweet red sauce, extra cheese. You burn it. It's fucking thin. Oh, my God. And the sweet red sauce. God.

[Joe Rogan]

They know how to make pizza on the east coast, and they try out here. They do a pretty good job job out here, but it's just not the.

[Joey Diaz]

It's missing something. They don't.

[Joe Rogan]

Same as the sandwiches. There's some good Italian sandwiches out here. They're pretty good. But they can't with, like, Giovanni's place.

[Joey Diaz]

Po. Giovanni sent me two shipments that were.

[Joe Rogan]

He's the best.

[Joey Diaz]

I had to give half of it away. I'm like, he sends you so much salamis.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, the cheese is incredible, right?

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, and the cookies. His cookies, bro.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, and that's everywhere. Like, I just stop fucking around. Like.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, when I go to the East Coast, I just assume I'm being terrible.

[Joey Diaz]

I gotta take you to this place.

[Joe Rogan]

Which place? You took me to El Nido. That was phenomenal.

[Joey Diaz]

El Nido now is Covo Steakhouse. Whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

But it's a steakhouse now.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Is it great?

[Joey Diaz]

They fucked me up a couple weeks ago. I went in there five to nine. I've been there three weeks in a row with big party and then my wife once. Another friend once. I go in there when they have five to nine, like, let me get a 14 ounce with a fucking beer. And they're like, we're closed. Ain't nobody in here. You can't make another steak now. We're closed. It's not even nine. No reason to go back.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a bummer. That's people wanting to go home.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I don't give a fuck. It's a steak. You guys are. There's nobody in here. The bar is cute in there. Nobody's ever in there. They got a male bartender. They got a blonde with big tits. You see this place packed the fuck up. You got a little Spanish guy. That's a great guy. But I go to this place now. They had on the special three weeks ago. You ready? Stuffed shells with lobster meat out of the carton sign and he gives you five of them in a tray.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Joe, what's this place called?

[Joey Diaz]

Hostaria.

[Joe Rogan]

Where's it at?

[Joey Diaz]

Marlboro. This is my spot.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I go there because the dude will do whatever I ask him to do. Do like he has a menu. But then he'll go, joey, have you tasted my Italian fried rice? Like, what are you talking about? Italian fried rice? And he makes risotto with lobster and shrimp or fried rice. So he's gonna add it. He's got a new restaurant opening, so he lets me sample everything. He makes a cheesesteak to die for. With bread with the seeds on it.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Semolina bread. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Osteria. There it is. Oh, that looks good.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

There's nothing like East Coast Italian food. Nothing even compares.

[Joey Diaz]

No. Steve and Angelo in there, bro. They don't around.

[Joe Rogan]

All right, let's wrap this up, bro.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you for having me.

[Joe Rogan]

My pleasure.

[Joey Diaz]

I love you. Thursday. I'm around all week. All right.

[Joe Rogan]

All right.

[Joey Diaz]

But I'm Atlantic City, seventh and eighth at Oceans Casino. White People Casino.

[Joe Rogan]

July 7th and 8th.

[Joey Diaz]

No, August.

[Joe Rogan]

August 7th and 8th. Okay.

[Joey Diaz]

Chicago got announced November 5th.

[Joe Rogan]

What's the website for people to go to find out details?

[Joey Diaz]

I got no fucking website.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, website.

[Joey Diaz]

Joeydiaz.com or net.

[Joe Rogan]

Is that real?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know anymore.

[Joe Rogan]

All right, well, they'll find you. They'll find you. So one more time, where's the casino?

[Joey Diaz]

Ocean's Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey. The 7th and 8th. Tremendous. Beautiful. I think the governor's the governor, yeah. Mikey Sherrill. I don't even like her, but I do like Mikey Sherrill. I do like Mikey Sherrill. Cause she's a Democrat. You're not supposed to like her. But it was funny. I went to a restaurant. Some guy's like, hey, man, life would have been so much better with Jack Cittarelli. I go, I know. But he lost by 400,000 fucking votes. He tried to a Republican in Jersey. That's never gonna fucking work. They've been Democrats since Jesus showed up. So 400,000 votes, bro.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a lot.

[Joey Diaz]

I'd be in my house with the windows, fucking like Sonny Black and Donnie Brasco with the windows, the shades drawn for a year.

[Joe Rogan]

400,000 podcast I did with Joe Pistone.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. Very good. He was very good on it.

[Joe Rogan]

He was amazing.

[Joey Diaz]

He's a good dude, too. He's a good life. Savage.

[Joe Rogan]

What a crazy life. The real Donnie Brasco, I mean, he really lived like that.

[Joey Diaz]

And he infiltrated the bananas. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Deep.

[Joey Diaz]

They never recovered from them.

[Joe Rogan]

They. Even after he came out and they found out he was a cop, they're like, oh, you were better than me. That's like one of the guys said that to him.

[Joey Diaz]

Hey, you.

[Joe Rogan]

You won. You beat me.

[Joey Diaz]

Wow.

[Joe Rogan]

Nuts. All right.

[Joey Diaz]

I love you, brother.

[Joe Rogan]

I love you, too.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you very much.

[Joe Rogan]

We're going to have fun tonight. Bye, everybody.