The John Clay Wolfe Show - Episode #115
Date: February 13, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Show Theme: "Powered by GiveMeTheVIN.com; we talk cars, sports, sex, drugs, rock & roll—just about anything as long as it won’t get us fined by the FCC."
Episode Overview
This episode delivers the show’s signature freewheeling mix of car buying, sharp banter about sports and pop culture, outrageous humor, and a focus on community, with a recurring emphasis on the aftermath of hurricanes and ongoing relief efforts. Classic John Clay Wolfe Show elements are on display: live car appraisals, a rotating cast of co-hosts, boundary-pushing improvised comedy, audience call-ins, and hot takes on American life. A highlight is the segment on relief operations for hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico, with special guests from the baseball community.
Main Discussion Points & Segments
1. Live Car Deals & “GiveMeTheVIN.com” Pitch
- Car Appraisals Live On-Air: The show features rapid-fire, sometimes hilarious, live car value negotiations with callers.
- Example: Kenneth in Dallas highlights the ease of GiveMeTheVIN’s online system compared to CarMax’s slow in-person process. John ups the bid on Kenneth’s Volvo to beat CarMax (03:43).
- “Website hit you at 14 grand… CarMax, how long did you have to go jack with that? …two and a half hours.” — John Clay Wolfe & Kenneth ([04:10])
- Ongoing CarMax Rivalry: John touts his $100 guarantee to beat CarMax offers, boosting it to $500 for radio callers, then announcing a $300 beat-CarMax guarantee for web offers that day ([21:45]).
- Comedic and Provocative Banter: Offers are seasoned with playful razzing and edgy jokes about caller habits, location stereotypes, and more.
- On a clean old Corvette: “She purrs like a kitten... Take a side shot of that car with the top up… open the door, picture of the driver’s seat...” ([23:17])
Notable Quotes:
- “My brain has been programmed into that computer and it will tell you.” – John Clay Wolfe ([04:08])
- "You sound too straight to be given those details.” – John to Kenneth, prepping a Volvo sale ([02:25])
2. Hooter’s Suburban “Death Pool” & Listener Engagement
- Running Bit: The staff has a long-running pool predicting when “Hooter’s Suburban” (a GMTV employee’s decrepit car) will finally die. They honor the listener who guessed closest to its actual “death.”
- “We took bets on when this burb is going to die…” – John ([06:31])
- Winner: Michael Del Rosario, sold the Burb for $300; still technically running, it becomes a show legend (50:24–50:36).
- Community Involvement: Listeners are actively engaged in these antics, entering contests and interacting on social media.
3. Sports, Comedy, and Local Color
- Football Talk: John and crew riff on local and national college football, often teasing regional habits and team allegiances.
- “All you hear on the radio…every station across the plains is high school football.” ([142:15])
- Tony Romo as Psychic: Recapping their own bit about Tony Romo's uncanny play predictions, furthered by “Romero Romo” (a Romo parody character delivering outlandish tales) ([93:52-96:43]).
- “Antonio… his uncanny ability to predict the future.” – Romero Romo ([94:08])
- Rival Radio Characters: Good-natured ribbing about radio animal mascots, “Randy the Chipmunk” vs. “Ticket Mouse,” their comedic utility, and “who’s funnier” ([12:55]).
Notable Quotes:
- “Animal characters have been around on radio since the seventies…” – Turley ([13:43])
- “Tony Romo… he knew what he (Belichick) was doing.” ([11:19])
- “Did you rip them off on Randy the Chipmunk?” – John to Bobbo ([12:53])
4. Post-Hurricane Relief & Operation Airdrop
- Puerto Rico Hurricane Maria Relief:
- Special Guest: Iván "Pudge" Rodriguez calls in, joined by community reps, to discuss efforts in gathering supplies and distributing aide to Puerto Rico and neighboring islands.
- Key info: Priority goods—generators, water, food; relief drop-off location in Irving, Texas; donations via operationairdrop.com ([100:39–109:44]).
- Collaboration: Major league baseball players, including Carlos Beltrán and Carlos Correa, are involved; Rangers Foundation pledges support ([104:13]).
- Urgency: “Puerto Rico needs help… by this afternoon those plants… are running out.” – Pudge Rodriguez ([103:04])
Notable Quotes:
- “We are going to help Puerto Rico and also the Virgin Islands… all this help is going to provide.” – Pudge Rodriguez ([104:13])
- “We need generators, water, food. Drop off at 2800 Story Road West, Irving, Texas…” – Catalina (community organizer) ([108:01])
- “It’s been a full time job…just won’t quit…it's important for people not to get tired of hearing about donations…” – John ([109:58])
5. Classic Bits & On-Air Characters
- Strip Club DJ & Road Stories: Former call screener/strip club DJ shares swamp-bound car pickup misadventures: running out of gas, livestock, customer oddities ([77:33, 78:23–81:30]).
- Hannah the Stripper: Satirical, irreverent call-in from “Hannah,” a recurring show character, describing wild romantic mishaps with trademark outrageousness ([121:45–124:57]).
- Romero Romo: Offers comical “psychic” predictions and anecdotes ([93:52–97:35]).
6. Pop Culture & News Satire
- Comedy News Bits: Parody news flashes, including headlines like “Colorado Hunter claims Sasquatch assault” (127:00) and “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups discontinued” (128:01).
- NFL Kneeling/Trump: Touches on cultural flashpoints (“Trump: any NFL player who takes a knee should be fired…”) ([44:32]), with the show’s usual irreverence.
- On-air Meltdowns: Plays infamous host outbursts, “Stop the hammering!” (MSNBC Lawrence O’Donnell), and references classic anchor freak-outs ([66:23–68:36]).
Notable Quotes:
- “Stop the hammering out there! Who’s got a hammer?” – Lawrence O’Donnell clip ([67:16])
- “Do it live! I’ll write it and we’ll do it live. The thing sucks…” – Bill O’Reilly classic ([68:27])
7. Jobs, Local Shoutouts, and Final Thoughts
- Driver & Buyer Recruitment: Multiple on-air calls for job applicants; requirements discussed (good work ethic, some car experience helpful, but not necessary) ([34:02–34:48, 93:25]).
- Regional Welcomes: Various shoutouts as the show welcomes new Texas and Louisiana affiliates ([16:19], [36:24], [119:00]).
- Texas/Southern Culture: Enduring humor about beer, regional idiosyncrasies, and country music (“Reba is just a grindin’ ass woman… all her songs are complainin’...”) ([37:10–38:19]).
Memorable/Notable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps
Car Segment Quotes
- “If I give you 15 grand, do I own it?” – John ([04:59])
- “You bring up a good point. You go to the website and put your VIN number in…” ([04:08])
- “I'll beat it by $500…” – John, outbidding CarMax ([20:16])
- “Any deals we don't beat today? ...We'll pay you 300 bucks.” ([21:45])
Sports Talk
- “Animal characters have been around on radio since the seventies.” – Turley ([13:43])
- “Tony Romo… psychic. He’s gonna roll to the right, roll to the left…” ([10:33])
- “NFL, I see on our run sheet to preview week three. I really don't give a damn.” – John ([43:53])
Hooter’s Suburban Death Pool
- “The burb has not died yet, has it? …It's a zombie. It really is.” ([49:16])
Relief Efforts
- “Puerto Rico needs help. I mean, and for me, whatever we can do… great.” – Pudge ([102:01])
- “We are going to help Puerto Rico and also the Virgin Islands…” – Pudge Rodriguez ([104:13])
- “We need generators, water, food… drop-off at 2800 Story Rd W, Irving, Texas.” – Catalina ([108:01])
Comedy Highlights
- “Have you ever heard your wife breathing real hard and calling your name in bed? …You just didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.” – “Ticket Mouse” joke ([13:30])
- “You sound too straight to be giving those details.” – John to Kenneth ([02:25])
- “I rode that thing 'til the wheels fell off, literally.” – Hooter about his Suburban ([48:14])
- “Stop the hammering out there! Who’s got a hammer?” – O’Donnell ([67:16])
- “Hey man, I don’t always drink beer but when I do, make mine a natty light tall boy.” ([35:52])
Culture/Pop Satire
- "All Reba McEntire songs are just complaining. She was doing Taylor Swift before Taylor Swift." – John and Bobbo ([38:05])
Listener/Staff Banter
- “My name is John Clay Wolfe, and I buy cars on the radio.” (Various times)
- “We’ll come to your house and pick it up. So easy you can do it in your underwear.” (Slogan repeat)
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Time | Segment Description | |--------------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:43–05:34 | Live Volvo sale negotiation (Kenneth vs. CarMax) | | 06:44–10:01 | Hooter's Suburban death pool contest | | 21:44–21:54 | Announcing $300 CarMax-beat guarantee | | 38:05–38:19 | Reba McEntire song analysis/jokes | | 49:21–50:36 | Hooter’s Suburban—final verdict (still not technically dead)| | 77:33–81:30 | Strip Club DJ’s swamp car pickup story | | 93:52–97:35 | Romero Romo, “psychic” gags about Tony Romo | |100:39–109:44 | Hurricane Maria Relief Effort: Pudge Rodriguez call-in | |127:00–128:08 | Satire: Bigfoot assault; Reese’s rumor | |152:22–153:19 | Car negotiating: caller pushes for unrealistic 30k |
Overall Show Tone & Approach
- Language: Unfiltered, irreverent, and often self-deprecating; frequent inside jokes and recurring characters.
- Tone: Mixes friendly salesmanship, rapid-fire humor, regional ribbing, and sincere community concern (especially in the relief segment).
- Pace: Fast, with abrupt turns between silly and serious—the show thrives on unpredictability and the personalities of its staff and callers.
For New Listeners
This episode is classic John Clay Wolfe: equal parts high-energy car radio, wild morning show, and real “community bulletin board” with a Texas twang. Expect plenty of car value tips, surprise laughs, vulgar jokes (often, but not always, tongue-in-cheek), sports talk, and real commitment to good causes like hurricane recovery. If you want live deals, audience interaction, and wild radio chemistry, you’re in the right place.
To sell your car or help with Puerto Rico relief, visit:
Key Quote to Sum It Up:
“We talk about cars, sports, sex, drugs, and rock & roll… just about anything as long as it won’t get us fined by the FCC.” — John Clay Wolfe