The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #119 (102117)

Air Date: February 13, 2026
Main Theme:
A fast-paced, irreverent mix of live car buying, Texas radio humor, sports, rock & roll, odd news, banter, and a dose of wild character improv—with an anything-goes style, so long as it doesn’t draw the FCC’s ire.

Episode Overview

This episode captures the full spirit of the "John Clay Wolfe Show": plenty of live car deals, offbeat takes on current events, sports commentary, and the hilarious cast bouncing through topics ranging from Halloween corn mazes to the 40th anniversary of the Lynyrd Skynyrd plane crash, with diversions into diet pills, male enhancement drugs, marriage/divorce mishaps, and much more.

There are highlights with recurring character bits (Axl Rose, Tony Romo’s dad, Satan, and chipmunks), off-the-wall stories from callers (including an Amarillo swinger’s tale), and some genuine moments of radio absurdity.

Key Segments and Highlights

1. Cool Snap & Halloween Talk (00:54-01:53)

• Hosts open discussing the change in weather, the relief cooler temps bring “for a fat man,” and Halloween traditions like Dallas-Fort Worth’s legendary corn maze.
  • JD Ryan: “They super grow this corn... it’s like two inches a day.” (01:25)
  • John Clay Wolfe: “It’s a lot better for a fat man outside at 75 than it is for 110, 95.” (01:12)

2. Behind the Scenes: Car Dealers & ‘Prima Donna’ Drivers (01:53-03:44)

• Uncle Roy’s Cruising Club gets a comical deep dive into the nature of driver egos, “prima donnas,” and absurd excuses—like going to the ER “tomorrow.”
  • John: “S... flows downhill?”
  • Roy: “Always. Payday's Friday and those are two things you need to know to be a plumber.” (03:35-03:42)

3. Live Car Appraisals & GiveMeTheVIN Tech Upgrades (03:54+)

• Listeners call in to get real-time car buy offers. Wolfe demonstrates the “just put in your license plate on our website, and we’ll bid your car instantly” technology (notably with Dolores’ Mercedes, 113:38+), emphasizing transparency versus competitors like CarMax.
  • Caller (Luke): “CarMax offered me 10.”
  • John: “My computer said 10, 9, I’ll buy for 10, 9. That beats CarMax by $900.” (04:51)
• New tech: just enter license plate, system pulls VIN and options, makes instant bids.
  • John: “It can bid a thousand cars a second. Seriously, it’s incredible.” (70:04)

4. Yankees vs. Astros Baseball, Sports Host Banter (05:49–07:19, 46:41)

• Ongoing razzing between Yankees and Astros fans as playoff drama peaks.
  • Turley: “Yankees are playing with house money right now; I’m just enjoying the ride.” (06:01)
  • John: “Watching the Yankees win is like watching the Patriots win. Who cares?” (06:10)
  • Night’s plans: “Big shout out to the Stro’s for getting their s together last night.” (70:57)

5. Sports Announcers: Tony Romo’s Appeal (06:33-07:28; 107:46)

• Admiration for Tony Romo’s enthusiastic new style as a sportscaster:
  • John: “He reminds me of myself when I was younger.”
  • JD: “He’s found a new thing that he didn’t know he could do.”
• Later in the show: Tony Romo’s “dad” (a recurring character) tells a bizarre origin story involving Flintstones vitamins and Easy Bake Oven disasters. (107:46–112:57)

6. Absurd News Headlines & Offbeat Stories

• All-Women Airline Crew Dubbed “Unmanned” (10:41)
  • JD deadpans corporate tone; hosts riff on the oddity.
• Tulsa Jail Viagra Incident – $5.9M Lawsuit (11:09-13:33)
  • Man claims 91-hour erection, sues jail for lack of care; prompts a hysterical riff on “Mohs scale of hardness” and male enhancement drugs.
    • John: “Do you remember learning about Mohs scale of hardness?” (13:05)

7. Diet Pills Madness—John’s Insomnia & Weight Loss Rant (13:50–15:17; 73:56–75:43)

• Wolfe admits to taking prescription diet pills (“Fennerman”), causing wild insomnia and 3am energy bursts. Team jokes about speed side-effects and nocturnal productivity.
  • John: “I wake up at 3:30 with a Mohs scale of hardness number 4 out of nowhere.” (14:19)
  • Bobbo: “You can’t stand still long enough to get on a scale.” (14:38)

8. “White, Black, Latino or Other”—Racial Guessing Game (41:24–44:10)

• DJ Pre K hosts a recurring Tom Joyner-style segment where the cast guesses the race of hapless deli robbers. Turns out the culprits are Hispanic, not anyone's prediction.
  • JD: “Only white folk use hunting knives.”
  • DJ Pre K: “Two young men were described as Hispanic and they are still on the run.” (43:54)

9. Rock & Roll Tributes—Lynyrd Skynyrd Plane Crash (20:05–22:05, 149:16–153:41)

• Detailed retelling of the 1977 Skynyrd plane crash; hosts recall personal connections; mention Ronnie Van Zant, Artemis Pyle surviving and “crawling for miles.”
  • John: “It’s a bad day. His brother can sing, but not like Ronnie.” (20:37)
• Best Of Skynyrd Bit: Wallace Edwards’ legendary “Leonard Skynyrd/Coach” parody and Skynyrd character history (149:39–153:41) — a show highlight!
  • Quote: “His metabolism skyrocketed which required a steady diet of seeds, grain, and simple proteins to maintain vital functions...” (149:39+)

10. Axl Rose & Freebird Parody – Showstopper Segment (45:17–48:48; 138:34–143:14)

• Bobo delivers his Axl Rose impression, belting “Freebird” with surreal, ad-libbed lyrics, culminating in raucous approval by the entire cast.
  • John Clay Wolfe: “That was the best thing I’ve heard in months.” (48:37)
  • Bobbo (as Axl): “I’m gonna fly and change. $30 with a change… put ‘em on my window sill! I’m gonna fly like a parrot or a cockatiel.” (47:59)

11. Callers’ Tales & Amarillo Swinger Story (97:01–100:30)

• Clifton from Amarillo relays a wild, but radio-clean, poolside, clothes-off “swap” story involving his wife and friends during the McGregor/Mayweather fight.
  • John: “Clifton, you go down this week as the John Clay Wolf Show creative camper of the week!” (100:30)

12. Bizarre Characters: Satan, Chipmunks, Randy

• Satan: Bemoans signing pop stars, claims ownership of Justin Bieber’s soul, and jokes about mid-90s bands (Spin Doctors, Hootie & the Blowfish) being his “label.” (67:32)
  • Satan: “My band? Spin Doctors. Hootie and the Blowfish. That’s what. Gin Blossoms.” (68:52)
• Randy the chipmunk: In a surreal, drugged-out haunted house story (121:01+), Randy and Rusty smoke a “dogleg hooter,” buy acid from a ringtail cat, and attack Freddy Krueger at the Y’s haunted house.
  • Randy: “My friend Rusty's kicking his ass... considering that we're on microdot acid and tripping bombs.” (124:00)

13. Marriage, Divorce, and Oklahoma Legal Loopholes (84:53–88:43, 91:49+)

• Panel dissects Bobo’s “maybe divorce” after a 90-day marriage ends with Oklahoma default judgment years later. Listeners call in confirming Oklahoma’s “newspaper divorce” process.
  • JD: “If you never signed a divorce decree, you are not divorced.”
  • Callers: Confirm Oklahoma allows “divorce-by-publication” if the other partner can’t be reached, making Bobo legally divorced after all (88:19).

14. Topical Buzz: JFK Files, North Korea, More (125:55+)

• JFK assassination papers about to be released; guys debate conspiracy theories; tie-ins to Jack Ruby, mob connections, Oliver Stone’s JFK film.
  • John: “There’s no question Lee Harvey Oswald was not the only guy... mob, Lyndon Johnson conspired with the mob.” (126:36)
• North Korea: Listeners call in postulating “secret Pentagon plans” if Kim Jong Un launches.
  • Caller: “They are definitely working something up there.” (135:06)

15. Consumer Reports Car List, Tesla Rant (51:16–53:22)

• JD lists most "unreliable" new cars. Wolfe riffs against Tesla (“Elon Musk is a con man… the new Tucker automobile”), and complains about shorting Tesla stock.
  • John: “Tesla Model X. The worst car in the world. Elon Musk is a con man.” (52:51)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “It's a lot better for a fat man outside at 75 than it is for 110, 95.” – John Clay Wolfe (01:12)
• “S ... flows downhill?” / “Always. Payday’s Friday and those are two things you need to know to be a plumber.” – John & Roy (03:35)
• “My computer said 10,9, I’ll buy for 10,9. That beats CarMax by $900.” – John (04:51)
• “You know who I am? ... Not me. I just wonder if it runs all the way from the top to the bottom.” – John, lampooning ‘prima donna’ culture (03:26)
• “Jitterbug? What am I... I’m trying these diet pills.” – John, referencing his speed-induced insomnia and “George Michael” energy (13:51)
• “Do you remember learning about Mohs scale of hardness in, like, middle school?” – John (13:05)
• “Look, look, look. ... Tony’s got a big career ahead of him in sports radio. He can sit right next to you JD, the Grand Dragon.” – John (07:21)
• “I wake up at 3:30 with a Mohs scale of hardness number four out of nowhere.” – John on diet pills (14:19)
• “Take me down to Jerusalem city, where the ground is brown and the girls are covered...” – Axl Rose (Bobo), classic parody (45:24 & 138:41)
• “If you want to sell your car quick, high, and easy, and they don’t beat CarMax, they owe you a hundred bucks—go to givemethevin.com.” – John (56:00...repeated throughout)

Show’s Vibe: Language & Tone

• An unfiltered, sharp, often irreverent Texas wit; no subject off limits—just no FCC violations.
• Equal opportunity roasting from sports teams and pop culture to the hosts themselves.
• Heavy on character improv and old-school shock jock energy; but veers frequently into genuinely helpful or interesting car-buying advice.
• Recurring catchphrases, listener participation, and running gags (diet pills, swingin’ Amarillo, “creative camper,” Oklahoma divorces, legendary Skynyrd tribute, etc.)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:54–01:53] – Opening banter, weather, Halloween, corn mazes
• [03:54–05:00+] – Car buying live (fusion, Tahoe, Sequoia, etc.), tech discussion on site
• [11:09–14:33] – Jail “Viagra” lawsuit, Mohs scale, male enhancement riff
• [13:50–15:17; 73:56–75:43] – Diet pills, diet side-effects, insomnia
• [20:05–22:05; 149:16–153:41] – Lynyrd Skynyrd story: crash, legacy, Wallace Edwards bit
• [45:17–48:48; 138:34–143:14] – Axl Rose “Freebird,” iconic Bobo parody
• [67:32+] – Satan, chipmunks, chipmunk’s haunted house/acid story (121:01+)
• [84:53–88:43; 91:49+] – Bobo’s divorce, Oklahoma law, listener stories
• [97:01–100:30] – Amarillo caller’s “swinging” story, creative camper
• [107:46–112:57] – Tony Romo’s “dad,” childhood anecdotes
• [126:13–128:55] – JFK documents, conspiracy, Jack Ruby, North Korea

Closing Thoughts

If you ever wondered what Texas radio would sound like with no rules but a sharp wit, a wild cast, and a vault of insane stories—you’ve found it.

This episode encapsulates why JCWS has a cult following: one minute you’re getting real car-buying info, the next it's a chipmunk buying acid, and then it's a pitch-perfect tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd with Bobo-as-Axl Rose howling "Freebird" for $30. There are sports, rock trivia, sex and drugs, weird news, and genuine calls from the wild expanse of Texas and beyond—spun into an unpredictable, hilarious audio soup.

The Bottom Line:
A must-listen for fans of raw, comedic, live radio that’s never far from both practical help (quick car sales!) and total, gleeful anarchy. If you miss it, you can always catch the best-of moments (like Axl’s Freebird) at johnclaywolf.com.

To relive the madness or catch what you missed, download the podcast at johnclaywolf.com or search for the John Clay Wolfe Show on iTunes & IHeartRadio. And if you want to sell your car "quick, high, easy," you now only need your license plate at givemethevin.com.