#121 JCW Show 11/04/17

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show

Episode #121 | Air Date: February 13, 2026

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show mixes high-energy, irreverent humor and rapid-fire banter about cars, sports, pop culture, and real-life absurdities. The show is powered by GiveMeTheVIN.com, featuring live car appraisals, listener call-ins, and regular comedic bits, with hosts and guest personalities riffing on everything from rock & roll and celebrity scandals, to conspiracy theories and dysfunctional families.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weather, Banter & Show Open (00:56–02:00)

• The crew complains about bizarre Texas weather, lampooning each other’s living conditions and quirks.
• Lighthearted jab at Randy, who’s jokingly described as a “chipmunk.”

2. World Series & Houston Astros Win (02:05–03:45; 13:25–14:13)

• Celebration and breakdown of the Houston Astros’ World Series victory.
• Jokes about Sports Illustrated's prediction and the Astros’ "suck for draft picks" strategy.
• “Nolan Ryan, mastermind?”: The guys debate the turnaround and lampoon media reactions.
• Quote: “I picked the Astros all the way from before the playoffs started.” – Michael (02:15)
• Discussion of the friendly (sometimes not-so-friendly) rivalry between Houston and Dallas; media’s “segregation from the 60s” banter.

3. Absurd Family Saga: Hannah & Pinky (04:22–14:55, 120:12–124:41)

• Comedic storytelling as “Hannah,” a wild recurring character, brings her 9-year-old nephew, Pinky, on air.
• Long-form bit about Pinky’s adventures at a nightclub and strip club, being tasked with fetching smokes, and learning to play craps in a casino environment.
• Quote: “I’m trying to show him a trade so he can make a living.” – Hannah (10:23)
• Biting mockery of child protective services and dysfunctional family life. Callbacks recur in the fourth hour.

4. Live Car Appraisals & GiveMeTheVIN.com Bits (11:15–12:42 etc. interspersed)

• Multiple real-time car appraisal negotiations—Tahoe, Viper, Laramie, Mustang, Corvette, more.
• Showcasing GiveMeTheVIN.com: listeners can bid their cars, get immediate offers, and sometimes get schooled “on air” if their price expectations are high.
• Transparent about dealer-versus-Carmax pricing and fast deals, e.g.:
  • Quote: “If I beat Carmax, do I own it or do you owe a lot on it?” – John Clay Wolfe (12:07)
• Occasional mishaps in car deals discussed, e.g., buying a car with dramatically misreported mileage—discussed with comedic frustration (147:40–154:11).

5. Sports: Cowboys, Tony Romo, World Series Fallout (13:51–14:55; 22:14–24:01; 107:06–111:55)

• News update: Dak Prescott trick-or-treats as a blue Ninja Turtle, Jerry Jones at nightclubs.
• Tony Romo “as color commentator” and his dad serving breakfast burritos.
• “Romero Romo’s” over-the-top character with jokes about insider nicknames for the Cowboys.
• The “You Darvish’s father” character appears, humorously blaming Astros’ hitting on “NASA radar” and “Iranian race cards.”

6. Conspiracy Theory Segment (31:04–34:07)

• Listeners call in to air wild conspiracy theories—JFK, Vegas shooting, fluoride in water, aliens, Bigfoot, etc.
• Satirical, open mockery of conspiracy culture.
  • Quote: “Do you think ISIS had anything to do with JFK’s death?” – John Clay Wolfe (32:09)

7. Celebrity Impersonations & Musical Comedy (26:07–29:55; 130:38–128:05)

• Impersonations: voice actors “Rush Limbaugh,” “Keith Richards,” “Satan.”
• “Frank Sinatra sings Led Zeppelin” and “Axl Rose sings gospel hymns” bits—parody and musical mashups.
  • Quote: “There’s a lady that knows, all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven, yeah...” – Bobbo as Sinatra (127:16)

8. Topical Humor & Scandal Reactions

• Schoolteacher sex scandals (“Oklahoma, the safe word,” million-dollar fines, scoring women as deer trophies).
• Takedown of political correctness: Katy Perry/Ellen DeGeneres controversy, House of Cards/Kevin Spacey fallout, transgender bathrooms.
• Quote: “Apparently it’s no longer politically correct for one woman to look longingly at another woman’s breasts.” – JD (138:55)

9. Van Halen Debate – David Lee Roth v. Sammy Hagar (52:58–79:31)

• Ongoing listener poll and passionate on-air debate.
• Multiple listeners call in with strong opinions, age-based preferences, and personal anecdotes.
  • Quote: “I like David Lee Roth better as a singer, but Sammy Hagar gave the band more versatility because he could actually play the guitar and sing at the same time.” – Listener (57:56)

10. Regular Bits: World’s Biggest (Son of a...) & Dr. Cod Life Advice (101:26–101:57; 136:19–138:33)

• Parody “World’s Biggest Son of a B—” commercials mimic Dos Equis ads, celebrating lowlifes and deadbeat dads.
• Dear “Dr. Cods”: Casey Kasem parody offers mock life advice. Listener “letters” requested for future shows.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If we're scoring it back to a breast augmentation, what size would the breasts be?”
  John Clay Wolfe, analogizing lifted trucks to plastic surgery (80:25)

• “My ex-wife ... told me that your show was stupid ... so I got rid of her.”
  Listener, on choosing John Clay Wolfe Show over his marriage (64:19)

• “On the deal, on the bottom of our form, it says so clearly, we’re honest with you. Be honest with us.”
  John Clay Wolfe, lamenting a car deal gone wrong (152:32)

• “Whose life is represented, or give you these ideas?”
  JD, asking John about “the world's biggest son of a b—” ad spoofs (16:21)

• “Vegas shooting just went away...”
  John, on short attention spans and media cycles (31:13)

• “I'd rather be banging someone's wife in a hotel room than be with mine.”
  Quoting his friend's marital philosophy for a sketch (16:29)

• “Ellen DeGeneres was chastised this week ... never mind if a man had done that...”
  Satirizing selective outrage (138:55)

• “Take us out, Whitey Blackie, in your only style…”
  John, cueing up the show’s unofficial white/black commentator (17:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Weather & Open: (00:56–02:00)
• Astros Win/World Series: (02:05–03:45), (13:25–14:13)
• Hannah & Pinky Saga: (04:22–14:55), (120:12–124:41)
• Car Appraisals/Deal Bits: (throughout, see e.g. 11:15–12:42, 147:40–154:11)
• Cowboys/Romo/Burritos: (22:14–24:01, 107:06–111:55)
• Conspiracy Calls: (31:04–34:07)
• Impersonations: (26:07–29:55, 130:38–128:05)
• Van Halen Debate: (52:58–79:31)
• Dr. Cods Advice: (136:19–138:33)
• Car Deal Mishaps Discussion: (147:40–154:11)

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Flow, Tone, & Audience Value

This episode is an energetic, raucous mix of Texas talk, pop culture, and organic live radio. The ensemble cast and rotating, multi-voice comedy bits keep momentum—and irreverence—high. There are deep hooks for car enthusiasts, classic rock fans, and listeners looking to escape with laughter and gonzo radio. The show’s distinct blend of unscripted, blue-collar storytelling and satirical social commentary is intact throughout.

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If you missed the episode, this summary covers:

• All major comics, discussion threads, and running gags.
• The best quotes and why they’re funny or classic JCW.
• Where to find live car deals and outrageous storylines.
• Which hour to tune in if you want Van Halen wars, Keith Richards, or the latest on strip club economics in Gringo P.

This is The John Clay Wolfe Show at its sprawling, wild, sometimes heartfelt best.

Transcript

[A]

Givemetheven.com presents Crank It Up.

[B]

It's red hot. I'm digging it.

[A]

Give me the vin. The John Clay Wolf Show.

[C]

On the street, on the street.

[D]

Oh, it's checking everything.

[B]

Where to speed, where to speed I know the wrong side of the law of the law don't give no fat don't sleep at night and shake a leg, shake a leg, shake a leg, shake it down.

[C]

If it's Saturday, must be time for the John Clay Wolf Show. Good morning.

[D]

Hey, Bobbo.

[C]

It's your Uncle Bobbo in the big. Cheers, Uncle Mama. Everybody say good morning to my friend J.D.

[E]

Ryan.

[C]

Hey, what's up, man?

[B]

What?

[C]

Weather's getting a little funky.

[F]

Yeah, bizarre.

[C]

It's a little misty. A little misty eyed.

[F]

It's supposed to be cool, but no.

[C]

Oh no.

[F]

He said knowingly. I ain't liking it either, of course.

[G]

Oh, Randy doesn't.

[F]

He's popping in here.

[H]

Hey, it's a pain.

[F]

It's gotta be weird for you. Cause you gotta live out in the trees.

[H]

What's still going on is 80 degrees at night.

[F]

I know. Was it?

[H]

And 40 degrees in the morning.

[F]

No. Is that weird for you guys? Out of nature? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You can't.

[H]

I mean, we're running the heater until nine in the morning.

[F]

You have a heater?

[H]

Yeah, and there's an AC.

[F]

Where do you get after 11? Where do you get electricity?

[H]

Well, it's not the Middle Ages.

[F]

Yeah, but you're a chipmunk.

[B]

Hey, hey.

[H]

I'm a chipmunk of means.

[F]

Oh, I catch it.

[H]

Yeah.

[F]

You making money? Hey, did you make any money on the. On the World Series? I know you're a big gambler.

[H]

Hell yeah.

[B]

I listen to early.

[F]

Really, Michael?

[G]

Well, I picked the Astros all the way from before the playoffs started. Yeah.

[I]

Really?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Oh, man. Awesome. Did you said Sports Illustrated?

[G]

Yeah, they did it a little bit earlier than I did.

[F]

What's up with that? Three years ago, they picked it. How they do that?

[G]

Well, they predicted because the Astros are rebuilding and they had so many number one draft picks because they sucked for three years. They had 100 losses for three years in a row.

[F]

Yikes.

[G]

So you're going to get good draft picks.

[B]

It wasn't. It was a stretch, but you know.

[F]

It'S one of those things that if you're right, you're a hero. If you're wrong, no one.

[B]

No one.

[G]

Don't even know.

[C]

And who's the mastermind behind that scheme?

[G]

Nolan Rye.

[C]

Nolan Ride. He's.

[G]

Oh, remember. Remember him?

[B]

Ranger Fans?

[F]

Sure. So how's he the mastermind behind all the turnaround?

[B]

Just happened to be around the same.

[G]

Time he got there?

[B]

Not at all.

[F]

What am I thinking?

[G]

And then the Houston Chronicle put out a Twitter feed that said, hey, Ranger fans, this is what a World Series parade looks like.

[F]

They really.

[B]

That was great.

[F]

That's pretty. That's pretty cold. I'm just. I'm just happy for Houston, man. It's a good thing. Good. I mean, just a year. They needed it. Anybody needed it.

[B]

Needed what?

[F]

A World Series win. Houston.

[B]

Okay, they got some flood. That sound weird. Everybody.

[F]

Morning.

[B]

Where's that damn squirrel? I heard him a minute ago.

[F]

He's right over here.

[G]

Mean the chipmunk.

[H]

Yeah, there you go with the squirrel thing again.

[F]

He always calls you a squirrel.

[B]

Uncle Bobbo in the big chair. Don't you think that's stupid? Rusty?

[H]

Nah, I think he sounds cool. And Rusty's my friend.

[B]

Oh, you Randy? Yeah. That sounds like some pedophile slang.

[H]

You think?

[B]

Come sit in Uncle Bobbo's lap in the big chair.

[H]

I don't know. I've always been real comfortable around him. Of course, he's got a lot of snacks.

[F]

Yeah, that's true.

[H]

You know, that goes far in my book.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Stags.

[H]

I'm about to starve to death.

[F]

Oh, my Lord. You were.

[B]

What did you do this week?

[H]

I just looked for nuts. Had a hard time with my fannies to leak.

[B]

Speaking of looking for nuts, there's Hannah. Wow. God, she looks rode hard and put up. What?

[F]

What happened to you?

[B]

Hannah, what are you doing, darling?

[F]

What happened?

[B]

What?

[F]

Okay, let me guess. You were.

[D]

That's a long story.

[E]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I had a fight with Gordo.

[E]

Gordo?

[D]

He's our manager.

[F]

Oh, your manager.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

7S house.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[D]

So I've been working in a different place.

[F]

Oh, you. Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. I see you've still got Pinky. Your. Your nephew with you. Hi, Pinky. Are you here?

[H]

Yep.

[B]

What's up with that, Hannah? I mean, this is your sister's son. He's still with you? It's been 8 o' clock on a Saturday morning.

[F]

You're dragging the kid around.

[B]

Hang on. I'm gonna ask. I'm gonna get the straight story out of Pinky.

[E]

All right.

[B]

So this is your. This is your sister's son, Right?

[D]

Right.

[B]

Pinky, have you been to sleep yet? No. No. Geez. Really? How old are you, Pinky?

[H]

I do not know.

[F]

You don't know how old you are?

[B]

So what did you do last night? Did you Go to work with your Aunt Hannah? Yep.

[F]

Oh, my Lord.

[B]

Really? What kind of place?

[H]

It was like a music place or a dancing place. I didn't really know.

[B]

Where did you hang out while you were at her work?

[H]

I hid behind the DJ booth.

[B]

Really?

[F]

Behind the DJ booth?

[D]

I was happy back there. It was a great time.

[B]

So did you play songs?

[H]

Yeah, but my aunt didn't like it and she said, boy, you better turn those songs off.

[B]

Really? Well. So did y' all get out of there late?

[H]

I don't really know what time it was.

[F]

Yeah, kids don't really watch.

[B]

He doesn't know how old he is. He doesn't know what time it is. So did you like all the pretty dancing girls?

[H]

Oh, yeah, they were pretty.

[B]

And? And what did you know? I mean, did the boys like your aunt?

[H]

Oh, yeah. They kept on giving her money from some reason.

[F]

Yeah, I bet.

[C]

So.

[B]

So when y' all left there, where'd you go?

[H]

Uh, Denny's.

[B]

Denny's.

[F]

What a jock.

[B]

Denny's. Hannah, what are you doing with this kid?

[D]

I don't know why you can get a straight answer out of the little booger.

[F]

Because he's probably.

[C]

And I can't Tired of hanging out.

[D]

He hangs behind the DJ booth. And we're working at a different club now, right? Right.

[F]

We're at a different club or it's.

[D]

A gringo P.

[F]

Gringo Penny.

[D]

The songs are all weird.

[A]

Give me the Vinda. Com.

[D]

I didn't know I had a dance tune. So I just kind of like walk fancy.

[F]

Why are the songs weird? What happened?

[D]

They don't even have poles.

[B]

What? The gringo, the gorilla Penny. They have these.

[D]

These like stool walls with saddles. It's like a Tejano cowboy bar.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

Oh, my God. Do you know what the volume.

[B]

Of.

[D]

$30 worth of pesos.

[I]

And you get.

[D]

Like 140 of those a night. And people paying you with phone cards with free minutes to Mexico.

[B]

So, Pinky, y' all go to Denny's and did any. Was it just you two or were there other people?

[H]

There were other people.

[F]

Who?

[H]

Like her boyfriend.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

She's not my boyfriend.

[F]

Who was there with you?

[B]

And then what did y' all do? Pinky? After Denny's? What? Have you been to bed yet, son?

[H]

No.

[B]

Okay. So y' all came straight from where to here? What was after Denny's?

[H]

We went to her friend's house and this. And one of her boyfriends, he told me to go get some smokes. He gave me some.

[B]

You go get some smokes.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

And how did you get. Where'd you go?

[H]

I went to 7 11.

[B]

How'd you get there?

[H]

I drove his truck.

[B]

How old are you?

[H]

I still don't know.

[D]

No, I mean, he can drive.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

He can drive. You look like you're all of eight. So when you get to 7 11, of course they wouldn't sell you the smokes because you're too young. So what happened?

[H]

Yeah. And I said, here's a 50, keep the change. Then they gave me those.

[B]

So, of course, then y' all go back to Hannah's friend's house and what's going on there?

[H]

Just still the normal stuff, but girls keep on kissing me.

[B]

Girls kissing you?

[H]

Yep.

[B]

All right.

[H]

Kiss me right on the cheek.

[B]

And where's your mama?

[H]

I already told you. She was drinking, gambling. She went? Yeah.

[B]

Hannah, why are you dragging this kid around with you?

[D]

Okay, it's a long story. My sister is a known shoplifter, and she got picked up in Dillard's three weeks ago trying to get the knockoff Victoria's Secret undies that they have at Dillard's. Like fat girls wear, like my sister. And she got put in County. Okay, so Pinky is with me because his father probably is a truck driver, and he hasn't been home since June. And so I'm watching Alfred. Little guy. He does great at parties.

[B]

But do you think you should have him out that late?

[D]

All the girls love him. Well, we sleep in the daytime.

[B]

You're taking him to the strip joint with. With you?

[D]

I'm trying to show him a trade so he can make a living.

[B]

Okay, I gotta digest all this. Hannah, I. I hope that the. I don't know if the truancy officer or child protective services are gonna show up here.

[F]

No doubt.

[D]

No, it's okay, because I showed him how to play craps.

[F]

No, it's not.

[D]

And he can get a 7 come 11 every time.

[B]

Well, if he's driving your customers trucks and going and picking up smokes in the middle of the. The night, making beer runs and going to Denny's with strippers. I know.

[D]

He's four feet tall. He can't really drive. All he does is put it in drive and roll. When it has a stop, he jumps down and hits the brake and reaches up and puts it back in park. I taught him that. Not his dad, probably, or his mother, who's in jail. I'm doing all this myself.

[B]

Preston, good morning.

[F]

You're on.

[J]

Hello?

[B]

Hello. What do you got? What do you want? What are you doing? Talk to me. Quick, hurry.

[J]

2012 Chevy Tahoe LTZ. 69, 000 miles. Black and black.

[B]

Black, black, black. Average. Rough or clean?

[J]

Clean.

[B]

Sounds like a 2000. What?

[J]

No, I was. I put it in the website. They gave me a range like 22. 9 to 24.

[E]

9.

[B]

Yeah.

[J]

I get a bigger price or what?

[B]

Yeah. Does that. It has a sunroof.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you got any appraisals anywhere else? Have you got any bids? Carmax. What? What is 4,000? They hit it. They hit it and quit it. They bit it? Is that what you're saying?

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

At 24, 000. Okay. And my system said, how much?

[J]

22. 9 to 24. 9.

[B]

Okay. So if I beat Carmax, do I own it or do you owe a lot on it? You can't even sell it to anybody.

[J]

Well, I mean, like five grand.

[B]

Okay, I'll give. I like Tahoes. And if they're 24, I'll give 24 and a half. And if my system says up to 25, then that's fine. Does that buy it? Do we. Did we do something?

[J]

Yeah, that's a deal.

[B]

Where do you live? Dallas. Okay, just write back to Your [e-mail] said, yeah, John just confirmed with me. We're buying. Y' all are buying. Buying the truck for 24. 5. You can bring it over to our office today and get a check, or we can send a driver out there and pick it up. Either way.

[J]

Okay, thanks, man.

[B]

8008-0072-3480-0800. Yes, we will buy your car. Good morning, J.D. morning, John.

[F]

That was very, very quick.

[B]

That was interesting.

[F]

Yeah. Well, in the news, Dallas Cowboy Deck Prescott was seen in his neighborhood on Halloween night passing out candy. He was dressed up as a blue ninja Turtle.

[B]

Really?

[F]

Very, very nice. He passed out full size candy bars, of course. Even took time to sign autographs and take pict. Everybody in the neighborhood. In a related story, Jerry Jones was seen at a local nightclub handing out sugar daddies.

[G]

Now, that story went away, didn't it?

[F]

Yeah, very quickly.

[B]

Sugar babies.

[F]

Sugar daddies.

[C]

Got to visit my girl.

[B]

Good morning, Houston. Big round of applause for the big win.

[F]

Unbelievable.

[B]

Yes, we live in Dallas, but yes, we are Houstonites at heart as well. We've been on there down there for seven years.

[F]

Sure, it's great to see them win. Just great.

[B]

Absolutely. You know, there was the Omni. Dallas put Go Astros on the board.

[F]

Saw that.

[B]

And that was like people were. Some people were wondering if that was okay. Why wouldn't it be because we're in Dallas and we're supposed to hate Houston and Houston's. But it's a white black thing, man. I mean, it's like, you know, it's, it's, it's segregation from the 60s.

[F]

Yes, yes, that's it.

[B]

Dallas and Houston, there's a lot of differences there. One's on the beach and one's in a Cal.

[F]

That's how I checked. Rangers weren't in the world series.

[B]

No.

[E]

No.

[C]

Fact. Yeah.

[F]

What were you saying?

[B]

But when we were, I'm sure that there were some Houston people that liked it. We are Texans. Well, Texas.

[C]

Brian.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm extreme. That. That was a game four. That was so fun. Which one went to 12 to 13 points? Yeah, yeah. God almighty. Sunday night look like a damn NFL score.

[C]

That's a game.

[B]

800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Remember, if you'd like to sell your car, you can just go to givemetheven.com and the system will bid it automatically. There's buyers in the other room handling your stuff right now. We'll do an in and out with your new car dealer and we're going to be here till most stations, 12, some stations, 11 more. Hannah, I want to get to the bottom of sana thing. I'll be back.

[A]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay wolf show presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[I]

Givemetheven.com has had so much success the past two years, you've got to read their reviews online. They've made it better license plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeTheVin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[C]

GiveMeTheVin.Com so easy you can do it in your underwear. He got caught banging his supervisor's secretary because timing wise, he couldn't punch out on his time card when he was punching in on her. Instead of using a restroom for a deuce, he drops trou, leans his back against a tree and hopes for the best. He'd rather spend three hours in a hotel with your wife than 15 minutes at home with his own. He is the world's biggest son of a bitch. I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a nap Daddy like tallboy.

[B]

Yeah, buddy. I have a specific friend Bob, that is my creative vibe for those. Yeah, really.

[F]

Whose life is represented or give you these ideas.

[B]

No, no, no. I just listened to his commentary.

[F]

There you go.

[B]

His commentary.

[C]

He likes to hold court, and I.

[B]

Spin him a little bit.

[C]

But he.

[B]

He mentioned the other day, he said, I'd rather be banging someone's wife in a hotel room than be with mine. And that's where that.

[C]

Well, it takes all kinds. It's a big old world. Can we name names?

[B]

No. Hell no. Did you. How many of those that I wrote in my psychological psychopath style in the middle of the night did y' all produce today?

[E]

We.

[C]

We took six of those and mixed up two complete bits.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I think they're. They're okay. I always do a little tweaking on the. You know.

[B]

Yeah, but they're.

[C]

Yeah, they're all intact. They're all there.

[B]

Well, you punching out on the time clock. What I was saying was that he got fired because when he was banging his boss's wife, he was still on the clock.

[C]

Right.

[B]

So he really got fired for abusing the time clock. Not. Not as much as his boss's wife.

[C]

His time card, when he's punching in on her, it's in the leg.

[B]

It is 8 o'. Clock. It is Saturday morning. It is rough radio, but, God, it's funny sometimes. My name's John Clay wolf. His name's J.D. ryan.

[C]

Morning.

[B]

Bob O, Turley on the board. DJ Pre K. Good morning. Cue him up. Whitey Blackie, Eight Mile, you there?

[G]

What's the damn deal? I'm here, man.

[B]

He is. Will you take us out, Whitey Blackie, in your only style? And we'll be. We're gonna cut to some music and then we'll come back with more of our little ditty.

[G]

Hey, man, we gonna be right back, so stay tuned to the John Clay Wolf Show. You heard me.

[A]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemethevin.com.

[I]

You know, your trade in is nice than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you. And John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to givemetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemethevin.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Give me the vin.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[C]

Givemethevin.com so easy. You can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Givemethe vin.com presents the John Clay Wolf Show. We'll be right back after this.

[B]

Back after. We don't have our stuff together. Good morning, everybody. Satan. Satan, did you get in the computer and screw up the programming button?

[E]

Hi, John.

[B]

Hi, Satan.

[E]

Well, I got up early today, so I thought, time to see how it goes. A button here, button there.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[E]

Oh, look at Turley.

[B]

So, Satan, what's been on your mind this week?

[E]

Well, I'll tell you. He just goes to show you, right? He giveth and he taketh away.

[F]

What, the old man? Oh, God.

[E]

Look at Houston.

[F]

Well, what about Houston?

[E]

Well, I mean, you've got a devastating hurricane.

[F]

Well, yeah, the hurricane was awful.

[E]

Bit of a cheap shot, wouldn't you say? All right, so the Astros go to the World Series, win it in seven. One of the most exciting series of playoff baseball. True. I've ever seen. True. And I've been around for a million years.

[F]

You've been around a while.

[E]

Then what happens?

[B]

I don't know.

[E]

Right before the game start last weekend, right? Houston's new quarterback, DeShawn Watson.

[F]

Right.

[E]

They loved him at Clemson.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

They said he was the next Roger Staubach.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Out for the season, injured reserve.

[F]

Yeah, I know. Do you think the God had something to do with that, is what you're saying?

[E]

I'm pretty sure.

[F]

No, we didn't.

[E]

The old man, I know he's laughing his ass off at Houston.

[B]

He's not.

[E]

I just don't think it's fair.

[B]

Oh. Oh, Joe and Azel, what have you got? Sir, I normally won't take a Kia Forte to the air, but just because you're from AEL and I'm assuming, and you do a lot of speed, I'll take you.

[J]

No, sir, I don't do it. Well, if it's in the car, maybe.

[B]

Okay. Is this an EX or an LX or S?

[J]

I think it's an S. I'm not for sure on that, sir.

[B]

Have you been to sleep yet?

[J]

No, sir. You know, garden property. What I told you a while ago, your guy a while ago is what mama wants. Mama get.

[G]

Yeah.

[J]

And I've been playing a security guard for three houses that we put in. And, you know, they ain't got no electricity, so I had to go out there and sleep in these houses with no electricity, no water, no toilet.

[C]

So last Wednesday, Mama wanted a half an eight ball.

[E]

Is that right.

[B]

Joe? You know, Azel is the, like, the speed capital of North Texas. Right.

[J]

Well, actually, I live in Pelican Bay. Or Funny Bay.

[B]

Okay, and that's Decatur, Correct? I mean, Bridgeport. I forget all. All. All these. Is there a meth lab in the. Is. Are you going to sell the Forte? Cuz you want to get a. A Winnebago so you can. So you can have a rolling meth lab? Hey, just go to givemetheven.com and put that thing in there, and it'll bid it for you. You don't need me to bid a damn Kia junker. It's not a junker, but I bet your ass today he's a $5,000 upside down. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[F]

All right, let's see what else is.

[E]

Going on in the world.

[B]

What have you got, sir?

[F]

Here, I'm gonna have to pull that up. There we go.

[B]

Oh.

[F]

Tony Romo will call his first Cowboys game tomorrow at AT&T Stadium when Dallas takes on the Kansas City Chiefs. Romo, by the way, has received, as you know, rave reviews so far this year for his ability to see a play before it happens. Had he used that ability while playing, he may have saved himself two compression fractures, three ruptured discs, and four broken collarbones.

[B]

Romo's dad is here, and he's gonna come on the show later, but he's actually in there cooking his breakfast burritos right now. I took him over to Gallagaskins and introduced them to the guys, and they're setting up, but he's over here. Do you have our breakfast ready? Tony Romero. What time will it be prepar doing this?

[C]

Take a while to make it, because I use the yellow onions.

[B]

Oh, the yellow onions.

[C]

And you have to grill and grill and grill them until they almost disappear.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yes. Otherwise your chorizo will be completely overpowered.

[F]

Chorizo is pork.

[C]

Yes. We have the cherry peppers, the egg is the sausage, the chorizo, grilled yellow onion.

[B]

Can't wait.

[C]

And the. A special sauce.

[F]

Oh, what's in that?

[C]

I cannot tell you.

[B]

Oh, okay. Secret.

[C]

It's a speciality. Okay. But I think you like Hannah.

[B]

Hannah, do you want. Do you want Romero to get you a. A breakfast burrito also?

[D]

God, no eating Mexican food all night.

[F]

Oh, that's right. You were. You were dancing in a Mexican club. How did you find a Mexican nightclub to dance?

[D]

I mean, they charged $7 for two tacos. There's not a dollar worth of ingredients in there.

[B]

Hannah, you said that it's hard to dance with all those. I mean, the pesos the pena and pesos. So like $30 in pesos. Really slow weights you down, right?

[D]

Look at a $50 bill or look at a $20 bill.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Slips right into the G string, right?

[F]

Right.

[D]

13,000 pesos. It's kind of hard to handle. I got you on the bar stage.

[B]

They're not treat treating you like a piggy bank, are they? Wow.

[D]

It gets a little scary. And I don't know the language very well. All I know is like C and no and taco.

[F]

Taco.

[B]

Hannah, we've got to go to a musical interlude. We'll be back, but will you mind taking us out?

[D]

Bueno. Don't go anywhere.

[F]

Por favor.

[D]

El gabachos. And we'll be back with more of el Senor John Wolo in tamp.

[A]

Givemethevin.com presents the John Clay Wolf Show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number. No sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your [e-mail]. if they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Give me the VIN. They've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Givemethevin.com presents.

[B]

Crank it up. It's red hot. I'm digging it.

[A]

Give me the vin. The John Clay Wolf show.

[B]

And Jefferson Starship. I kind of need to let this one play out, man. It's so good. At least to the first chorus. Sing it, Bob.

[D]

Can't sing that high, man.

[C]

That's high.

[B]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. My name is John Clay Wolf. Good morning, everyone. Rush Limbo. I see you there. Yes, sir. I'm glad to have you in the studio this morning, not just on I. What are you doing, Rush? Did you stay up all night with Hannah and Pinky?

[C]

No, I would love to have. Nobody told me she changed clubs from.

[B]

The white one to the Mexican one.

[C]

I had a great time at Sally Sam's, though. And you won't believe how many times I heard patrons asking, where's Hannah?

[F]

Really? So she has, like, a fan fan club. Wow.

[C]

It's an amazing. It's an amazing establishment. So classic.

[B]

I would have you know there's a Mexican Twin Peaks in Houston.

[F]

Really?

[B]

That I accidentally went into one night. I forgot what it's called, but my Hispanic office manager saw the charge on my Visa.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

So I felt like it was a company experiment.

[F]

Right.

[C]

Sounds like a wonderful place.

[B]

They have big soccer balls on the. On the table in huge, like bong heads that are full of beer so that you have a tap on your table.

[C]

Oh, just like a Lubies.

[B]

No.

[C]

Well, that's what we do at Lubies.

[F]

Nothing like a Lubies.

[B]

So you got a big soccer ball that hold and then like, you know, you know, like a graphics bong, Bob.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

The big. The big. The big. They fill that up with beer. It would almost be like you could do a beer shot, shot, bong, head off of it. But it's at all the tables and you got all these little hot chicas around. Imagine Twin Peaks where football is soccer and white girls are Mexican.

[C]

Precisely what we do at Luby's. There's the private room and back.

[F]

No, there's no.

[C]

They're perfectly accommodating.

[B]

Rush, I'd like for you to come back a little bit later and. And we go over and check on Tony Romo's dad and see if he's got those breakfast burritos. Get ready.

[C]

Tacos smell fabulous.

[B]

800. 800 radio.

[F]

JD indeed.

[B]

Good morning. What have you got in the news?

[F]

Good morning. Well, a former and very attractive Oklahoma teacher is in some trouble. She was caught having relations with a male student. This happened again. She was ordered this week to pay Oklahoma a million dollars in restitution to the young man and his family.

[B]

Did she not know the safe word? The safe word is what? Oklahoma. Have you not seen Jackass?

[E]

Bobbo?

[B]

Have you seen Jackass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When the little fat kid had the toy to dominatrix. And. And they're beating the hell out of me. He's like, oklahoma. Oklahoma. And he had a ball in his mouth.

[F]

No, apparently not.

[C]

I didn't see that safe word.

[F]

So anyway, a million dollars. So let's figure this out. You get sex with a hot teacher and a million bucks. Oklahoma is calling the decision.

[B]

Oklahoma.

[F]

Common whore.

[C]

Math is their new common horror.

[E]

Man.

[B]

Is that. What period is that?

[F]

That's actually third period.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[F]

All right.

[B]

So in the ladies attraction, very hot. And she's from a global.

[F]

And she's. Yes. And she got caught having relations with a senior student.

[B]

And how old is she?

[F]

She is 37.

[B]

And the senior would be 17.

[F]

Seventeen.

[C]

That's probably my ex wife.

[B]

How far did that deal go?

[F]

It actually went on too long. It went on about three months. And she actually went out of town with him at one point. So she got really crazy stupid.

[C]

Where?

[B]

Well, what's out of town with a 17 year old.

[F]

Hey.

[B]

Hey.

[F]

His family.

[B]

You want to run to the casino?

[F]

No. His family went on vacation and she followed them to another.

[B]

I'll get you in.

[F]

And invited him to a hut.

[B]

I'll act like your mom.

[F]

She was crazy. The woman's crazy. Anyway, but the point is though.

[B]

What?

[F]

A teacher got a million dollars.

[B]

She doesn't have a million dollars to give anyway. So if she had a million dollars, maybe her husband does. But if he did, she wouldn't be working at the high school.

[C]

No. She could buy a kid.

[E]

Right.

[F]

I just don't understand the trend.

[B]

If this woman was, was a deer.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not looking at the picture.

[F]

No.

[B]

And Bob, you might have to fill in because we're probably going to lose JD on the whitetail talk.

[F]

Yes, probably.

[B]

But it. Like what class would you score her at? You know, like when you. When you score a deer. There's Boone and Crockett, 260. Class is a big, you know, great, great, great deer. You count the points. You count the distance between the tines. You, you count the. The what? What are the. The damn big main horns called. I forgot. But yeah. And then you start measuring them almost like a physical.

[C]

Sure. Well, you measure bucks that way.

[B]

Yeah. You measure their length and their weight and they're this and they're that. I think that we ought to develop a system like that for Oklahoma teachers.

[C]

You score does a different way.

[F]

Here's her picture. This is not a good picture. It's her rest photo. So it's not her best shot.

[B]

She's pretty eyes.

[F]

Yeah, pretty eyes.

[B]

I think she's about a 210.

[F]

Is that it?

[C]

She dresses out at about 180.

[F]

What is.

[B]

What is no 210 score class? And it is deer season. It is among us for. For you hunters, hunter and gather listeners. Especially the Indians in Oklahoma that like to live off the land.

[C]

No, because you know, you have. You have two tags in a lot of counties and like you pop a dough and you show your. Your friend the picture. He says, oh, well, she looked like a shot. Hi, little girl.

[B]

So have you noticed that the Vegas shooting just went away?

[F]

Yeah, well, there's other things happen. We are eight. We are add as a society man. News comes and goes. Oh, stop.

[C]

It's not went away.

[F]

Why did. Yeah. Where did it go?

[B]

It's just gone. And then the lawyer.

[F]

Nothing new.

[B]

The lawyer this week? Yeah, that was representing one of the shot that had passed away. He died.

[F]

And where did you see this I know. Yeah, right.

[C]

You got your sources, the americanow.com news network.

[B]

The media just shut down, man.

[F]

There's nothing new to say.

[B]

Well, the JFK stuff and that's all gotten weird too, you know. They block the files, they're going to release the files. The CIA had 50 years to get this document release ready.

[F]

That's the weird part. You're right. They've been 50 years to get ready. Why all of a sudden is this Last minute shuffle?

[B]

8087234 is our call in number. I would like to hear your conspiracy theory. Do you think there was one more than one shooter in Vegas? Do you think the government is covering it up? Do you think ISIS had anything to do with it? Do you think ISIS had anything to do with JFK's death? Do you think Fidel Castro was a real person? Do you think that we're actually a bunch of aliens being operated by. By the Russians?

[F]

See, that's possible.

[B]

I'd like to know.

[F]

There's a group of people that think there are aliens among us.

[B]

Do you think that Bigfoot actually can exist? Did Marie Lavo really do what Bobby Bear said back in 1973?

[C]

Well, I mean that's confirmed.

[F]

Another man done gone.

[B]

I mean there's a lot of questions. I need answers.

[F]

Okay, so what are we gonna do? Load the phones with conspiracy notes.

[B]

800-800-Rode 800, 870. If you call in and you have the answers, any of these questions, I'd like to put you on the air and remember to hit it quick.

[C]

But Ola, Handsome Jack, he said, Goodbye, Marie. You're too damned ugly for a rich man like me.

[B]

Jfk, they did come up with one thing.

[F]

What's that?

[B]

That they're. And I said this last week and it was all over the news last week after I said it. Because it was true.

[E]

Of course.

[B]

There's a bullet hole from the front of the limo that was coming from outside. That did not come from the top of the suppository building.

[F]

Why would that be 50 years later? Why wouldn't that be like the day of somebody at the hospital saw, hey, there's a bullet hole.

[B]

Hoover said, I need the American public to believe that Oswald was the only shooter. Did you not read that release? It was in the last document dump. You need to get up to speed, J.D.

[F]

I guess so. It's just, it's.

[G]

So.

[F]

It's. Where do you. Who do you believe? Where does it come from? Do you believe these. Got people on the phone all Your conspiracy nuts. Do you believe what you read in Facebook? Do you believe people put up stuff from the Daily News? Stop it.

[B]

Good morning, you're on the air. Hello? You're on the air.

[E]

Hello?

[B]

Is it not working? Is caller potted up? Caller, you're on the air.

[C]

John, this is Clyde Bigsby.

[B]

Hey, Clyde.

[C]

We tell about that jfk? Yeah, no, my daddy said he knew Officer Tibbett.

[F]

Oh, he knew?

[B]

Officer? Really?

[F]

Tippett.

[C]

It wasn't Lee Harvey Oz or what killed him?

[F]

No, no, it wasn't.

[C]

He said it was the lbj.

[F]

Lbj? LBJ.

[C]

Wrecking. Had no time to swear in on a plan.

[B]

This all did happen in Dallas, Texas. And we've got our own man from the mafia right here that knows Jack Ruby. His dad was related to him.

[C]

John. No, I. I never knew. I never knew the rube, as we called him. And he was. He was a bumpkin. Jack Ruby, really, You know what I'm talking about.

[F]

I'm a fall guy.

[C]

This. Okay. My father, Antonio Cabone. Your father out of Queens.

[F]

I'm not laughing.

[C]

Doing a business.

[F]

Yes, sir.

[C]

Okay. Goes out to Milwaukee, helps these guys start up a deal when they're getting Vegas ready and everything. This is the 1940s. 50s.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Just start.

[C]

So when Dallas is a cow town. But sure, you can't even buy a pack of decent cigarettes.

[B]

No.

[C]

In 1963, in Dallas. No, they're smoking bay lab down here. What are you gonna do? You got this president, sure. He's. He's kicked all the good gangsters out of the country. Well, so we're a little made about that. Then he tries to get us to help to take out the beard. Here's the beard.

[F]

The beard is Castro. Castro.

[C]

Next thing you know, he's in Dallas. What are you gonna do?

[B]

You know, we're on in New Orleans also right now.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Really.

[C]

Maybe I should keep some of this close to my vest.

[B]

Good morning, South Louisiana. Good morning, Houston. Dallas, Oklahoma. Everywhere that's listening to the network. Curtis, you have a fluoride theory?

[J]

Oh, yeah, the fluoride theory. You can read about this if you do look it up. And they talk about how fluoride is put into our. We put fluoride in our water system, or at least in a city like city municipal water systems. And it's actually. They say it's for our teeth, but it's actually used to inhibit that part of our brain to question our government.

[B]

Ah, that makes sense. Travis, good morning. You're on the air.

[J]

Yeah, we all are. Definitely Run by aliens. Because we have antennas.

[B]

Is that what that string is on the end of a tampon?

[J]

In that variety of humans, yes.

[B]

800-800-7234. 800. Ours are what?

[J]

Ours are penis.

[B]

Where? Where? Where are you calling from, penis? Travis?

[J]

Lake Travis down here in Dickinson, Texas.

[B]

800-800-7238. 800 radio. Don, I don't want to talk about a Hyundai. We're rednecks, man. We want to buy trucks. Where are you calling from?

[J]

Oh, Fort Worth.

[B]

Where?

[F]

Fort Worth.

[B]

Fort Worth. We're going to take your Fort Worth card away from you buying a damn Hyundai, boy. All Hyundais go to the website. Givemethe vin.com. my system will bid it automatically and I will buy it and I'll buy it high. But I'm not. I'm not going to tell anybody and I'm not going to admit that I bought a Hyundai.

[C]

Dilly, dilly.

[B]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. That would really be the perfect time to go out.

[F]

Yeah, it would be.

[B]

You wanna go? All right, we're gone. We'll be right back after this musical interlude. He played it left hand but made it too far. Became the special man.

[A]

Give me the vin.com. and now back to the John Cleveland Clay Wolf show.

[J]

You are the best radio personality I've heard.

[A]

Call in 800-800-RADIO, presented by gimmethevent.com.

[B]

And the Rolling Stones. Mick Jagger is here with us. Good morning, Mick.

[F]

Oh, man. All the stars step up the mic there.

[B]

What?

[C]

They all have a little mix, couldn't they?

[B]

What are you singing about in this song? Street fighting, man. It's one of my favorite guitar riffs of all time.

[C]

It's Mick that sings the songs that couldn't make it. So I thought.

[B]

That's not Mick. J. Who is this?

[C]

I thought I'd come myself.

[B]

Love. Who is sitting here close?

[C]

It's me, Keith.

[B]

Keith Richards.

[F]

Can't you tell? He looks like the devil himself.

[B]

We've got Keith Richards here in the studio with us. Thanks. It's great to know you're still alive. Hey, and Satan will be on board in just a minute. He's right behind you.

[C]

You may need to make.

[B]

Make your deal with him and keep it going.

[C]

No, no, we've got a pass.

[F]

I bet you do.

[C]

Lovely town.

[B]

It sounds like it. Nathan in Louisiana. Good morning.

[J]

Good morning.

[B]

What you got?

[J]

Hey, yeah. About the conspiracy theories and I. Yeah. The reason we. We've never found bigfoot. It is because the aliens come pick him up.

[B]

Okay.

[J]

He did.

[B]

Nathan in Louisiana have. Do you have anything for Keith Richards?

[J]

Huh?

[B]

Do you have anything for Keith Richards? We have Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones right here in the studio with us.

[J]

Oh, yeah, that music is awesome.

[B]

Do you want to give him a shout out? You want to give him a shout out or anything? You want to say hi, Keith.

[J]

Hey, Keith. Keith, how you doing?

[C]

Hello.

[B]

That's translation for everything's great and thanks for calling in. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Keith, how did you. How are you still alive right now?

[C]

Been asking all the time. It's not about your teeth, you know, like that. Fallen off the beach, been electrocuted on the stage.

[F]

You were.

[C]

That was a nice time. It was nice with it, you know, I was talking to Johnny Depp.

[F]

Johnny Depp.

[C]

And he comes and he says, you know, Keith, Keith, how are you still alive? You know, like, I'm not buggering off and having a nice time. It's really rock and roll, right? And it's going to take your time. It's not a dancer, you know, a lot of sculpture. Like a boom cut co. He's got life.

[B]

What?

[C]

Making music. You know, Making music. Trying to leave. Leave the horse alone.

[F]

Leave the horse alone.

[C]

30 years and wear lots of expensive jewelry. And I take care of the children. And once in a while.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

What? What the hell are you saying? What the hell are you talking about?

[C]

What the hell are you laughing.

[B]

Because you're. I just.

[C]

I thought you were lying.

[B]

I understand. When I was listening to you on tv, I'm here in person reading your lips and I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Are you high?

[C]

Three things you got to do. Okay. Number one, whiskey is nice.

[B]

Whiskey.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Second, you know, don't take no finance.

[F]

No, don't take no finance. And fee. Yeah.

[C]

In the morning, you know, have a bloody V8.

[F]

V8.

[B]

Keith Richards, everybody. I'm scared to continue this on air. Interview.

[C]

Rock and roll.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you.

[F]

Appropriate that he and the devil are.

[C]

In the same room.

[B]

John in Houston is Satan. Are you there, Satan?

[E]

Yeah, I'm right here. Keith's a great guy.

[B]

Hang on, Satan. I want to get back to you in just a moment. John and Houston, what have you got?

[J]

Okay, first, I want to talk about a truck, if you got time. But after that, I could tell you about what I found at work in the break room.

[B]

I want to hear about what. I don't care about trucks. You can go to. Give me the vin.com and load those up. I can mean, that's easy, that I like the break room story. Tell me the break room and. But speed it up. I can tell you're long winded.

[J]

Okay, we're at break room and there was two flies flying around. Well, a buddy of mine smacked one with the fly swan. And it wasn't a fly.

[B]

What was it?

[J]

A little remote. It was a little remote control fly.

[B]

Really.

[J]

Had a little chip in it. Had a chip in it.

[B]

Have you. Have you. Have you ever seen the video from Dire Straits? Money for Nothing.

[J]

No, I haven't.

[B]

There was a. There was a. Exactly what you're talking about in that video. There was a remote control robotic fly with a camera on it. So this is. Yeah, this is nothing. Nothing new. They're on to you, man. They're on to you. They're watching you. What have you been doing? Are you running any illegals out of. Out of Mexico?

[J]

I can't tell you all that, but I do watch Infowars.

[B]

Okay. 8008-0072-3480-0800-Radio Satan.

[E]

It's a shame what methamphetamines are doing to the rural community, isn't it?

[F]

Yeah, but you started all that.

[E]

It's a remote control insect. Yeah, that's great. On the eighth day, God created the remote control insect with a chip.

[B]

So what's the deal with you and Keith Richards?

[E]

Oh, I've known him a long time. Do you know we've been negotiating for his soul for like 48 years? Yeah, he's a tough bargainer. I bet nobody's handed over a lot of his friends, you know, in the meantime.

[F]

So that's the bar ship. It's his friends.

[E]

Yeah, he's. It's almost like a co op now, really. Sure.

[B]

Of rock and roll.

[C]

What do you have?

[B]

I mean, souls.

[E]

Ronnie James Dio.

[F]

Really, for one. Yeah, you got him. That's hard to believe.

[J]

Mark Boland.

[F]

Really?

[B]

Who's that?

[E]

Some great guys. You know, they're all a lot of fun. We've got our own band down in hell. They're the house band.

[B]

The House of Hell Couldn't get John.

[E]

John got here. Quit singing.

[B]

John Lennon.

[E]

Oh, quit singing. He's kind of a go between them.

[F]

Wait a minute. John Lennon was all about peace and love.

[E]

I know, I know. And he and he and Jesus spend a lot of time. He goes back and forth, you know. He's what we call a transcendental.

[B]

Oh, really? He's a tranny?

[E]

Yeah. Well, no, no, that's Crazy. You don't. Once you get down here, there's none of that.

[B]

Hey, you had a theory about the Rangers and the Astros and the World Series?

[E]

Oh, sure. Well, it's no theory. I mean, you guys are all excited about the Astros winning the World Series.

[C]

Sure.

[E]

And it was a great couple of games, right? I made 60 bucks off of game five. So you want the Texas Rangers to win. Win the World Series?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Okay, that's fine. But I'm gonna need something in return to make that happen.

[B]

What are your demands?

[E]

Well, since I've already pretty much got my hands around Zeke.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm gonna need Dak and Dirk.

[F]

Well, you're not gonna get either one of those.

[E]

Well, I think Cooper Rush is gonna do you a great job.

[B]

You can have Dirk. We need Dak.

[E]

Well, Dirk is nine feet in the grave anyway, right?

[B]

That's why I was so quick to give him up.

[E]

I love his accent, though. Man, I hope I can get that guy.

[B]

What would your impersonation of Dirk sound like? The devil does. Dirk.

[E]

My impersonation of Zerk. Let's see. I'd be like Hogan, just a colonel. Clink lines is all. I know. Really. I'm really old.

[B]

Do me another one.

[C]

That's.

[E]

I know nothing.

[F]

That was a Hogan's Hero fan.

[E]

I mean, I'm not, you know, I don't know a lot of German.

[F]

That makes sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

No, I mean, I love the food, but come on.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Those are some really wicked guys. So I don't hang around.

[B]

And that was your theory? What was the. The. I thought you had some hyp. Hypothetical situation.

[E]

Well, I'm just saying, it's just like in 2011, right? Rangers make it to the World Series, they didn't win, but everyone. Everyone's excited.

[F]

Sure.

[E]

Mavericks win the NBA Finals. They beat the Heat. Stars are doing well. What happened to the Cowboys back then? Yeah, the blithering mess. That was me.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

How was that?

[I]

You.

[E]

Hey, that's my job. And it's a labor of love.

[F]

What the.

[B]

To ruin people and break their hearts.

[E]

Sure. Just like the old man. I giveth and I taketh away.

[B]

All right. Thank you for coming in, sir. I still don't agree with everything you do, but, you know, he comes in, he's. He is a big name.

[C]

Creeps me out.

[B]

We got to put him on the air. He's standing here. Yeah. What's he gonna.

[F]

What are you gonna do, not put.

[C]

Him on the air?

[B]

We need to have Jesus come in here or.

[E]

God.

[F]

Now, see, there you go. Huh? Just like in the political season. You get one side, you get to have the other balance.

[B]

God needs equal air time.

[F]

I agree.

[B]

Maybe later in the show today.

[F]

Couldn't agree more.

[B]

800-800-72348.

[F]

I have contacts with the big radio. I'll call him.

[B]

You do?

[F]

I do.

[B]

We have an in house bible beater. Smooth out. I mean like playing them like the gong boat.

[F]

Well, big news from Apple. Everybody's excited. Every new Apple, the new X iPhones that are out this week, they all come with a free gift certificate. Some people don't know this. You look at the bottom of the box, there's a free gift certificate for a sweater. That way you can pull the wool over your own eyes next time. O.J. by the way, he said he's looking forward to getting his newest iPhone now that he is out. And it is out. He's very excited. He's going to get the new Apple XCON version that has a GPS system that'll help you track and find the people who really did all the bad things in your life.

[B]

You know who else is out this week? Who's out? Kevin Spacing. And not only is he out on being gay, he's out of a job as of yesterday. Netflix gave him the big old slide slam in the ass, right? No pun intended. But Kevin is scratching unemployed ass as of right now.

[F]

Can you imagine that? This is going. This is something that happened 30 years ago. What? Who's next? Tom Hanks?

[B]

Oh, this just in from a listener. You know the Hispanic twin peaks I was talking about earlier?

[C]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[B]

We got the name in.

[F]

We get the what?

[B]

Chulas.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Chulas.

[B]

Mike Hambone says Chula. My Mexican wife would probably divorce me if I went there.

[F]

Why Chulas?

[B]

Well, because it's a big soccer place.

[C]

Ain't nobody Bob.

[B]

Have you not been there yet? There's one in Fort Worth I accidentally wandered into the other day.

[C]

Right downtown, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right next to like a three. Is it next to a five guys.

[B]

Or what's the burger place? You're all, it's next.

[C]

Right across the corner from Peachy Pachi Pizza.

[B]

You got it.

[F]

So this place is real?

[B]

Yes.

[F]

I thought you made it.

[B]

Hell no. It's great. If you're gonna watch a soccer tournament, that's where you need to be. Actually, if you're manager at Chula's, you need to be giving us a credit tab.

[F]

This is real. Okay, tell me there's soccer balls on the table.

[B]

There's soccer balls on the Table.

[F]

And.

[B]

And then there's this great big tube that comes out of the top of them. It looks like a three foot graphics bong, but like six inches in diameter. Out of the soccer ball.

[F]

Soccer ball.

[B]

Coming out of the soccer ball is a spigot.

[F]

Okay?

[B]

So you. They take the whole beer bong and load it up. Well, they have a girl that looks like Selena. Pull the handle on the Dos Equis and fill it all the way up.

[F]

Really?

[B]

And then every time they bring it out, they turn this song on.

[F]

Very hot ladies.

[B]

Yeah. And. And they just shake their butt. And they will help you pour the beer. And they'll. You know, they've got on their bras. They have soccer balls.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

And you're allowed to see if the balls need any air.

[F]

I don't believe this.

[B]

Absolutely.

[F]

Now I'm not believing this.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. They have very, very, very short shorts. Bob, help me out. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's outstanding.

[B]

It's. I mean it. It's. It's the closest thing to Boys Town that you've ever seen in a metropolitan area.

[C]

And the bar is way turn up.

[B]

Selena. Damn it. This is Selena. You gotta play it. What?

[C]

Now, Bob, when you're walking around outside, all you see are. Are couples at dinner. The bar is way in there, man. But once you get inside. Oh boy. And it's amazing how quickly you pick up a little Spanish.

[B]

800-800-723-4. 800. It'll put you right back at Corpus Christi.

[F]

S.L.

[C]

Simple Concepcion Portu.

[B]

You will feel like you are on the shores. The beautiful tar ridden golden shorts. Doors of Corpus Christi. I say tar ridden because I remember the Texas custom. I was a kid in the 70s, we just always covered with tar.

[F]

It does happen occasionally.

[B]

It hasn't happened in a while.

[F]

No, it has not.

[B]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Yeah, I'll still buy the cars. Did you see that Lambo Turley we bought? That was. We bought that off of a Houston list. I really liked that car. It was a 04 Lambo.

[F]

Beautiful.

[B]

We outbid everybody in town by $10,000.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, four with 31. That Ferrari, did it go down last night?

[G]

Yes. And then we have a Viper. I mean, we're just buying all the Highline sports cars now.

[F]

Pretty stuff.

[B]

If you got a 12 inch, you know what? And you've got a car to go along with it, go to givemetheven.com because we'll damn sure buy it. We recognize one when we see it. My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars on the radio.

[A]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolfe show, presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[I]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you, and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to givemetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemethevin.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Givemetheven.com They've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Give me the vin dot com.

[J]

You guys make me laugh every Saturday morning, man.

[C]

It's awesome.

[J]

Love listening to y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show, presented by Gimmethe Vin.com.

[D]

So.

[B]

Was Van Halen better led by David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar? Inquiry, minds want to know. Call in 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. The winner of that question. The winner of that question will receive a golden Van Halen microphone donated by Alex and Eddie Van Halen themselves is sitting right here in the studio. So the question is, is who was better? Lead singer, Van Halen, David Lee Rother, Sammy Hagar. And we're giving away a Van Halen golden microphone to the correct to the winner. 8008-0072-3480-0800. Radio.

[C]

You got to get the right answer out of two.

[B]

You got to get the right answer.

[C]

Some easy content.

[B]

Rush Limbaugh. What are you doing, Rush, the old drunk pill head.

[C]

John. Yeah, just passing through on my way to the West Coast.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Watching a little basketball.

[F]

You're a big fan, I'm told.

[C]

I need to know more about it. The sport still looks goofy to me.

[F]

Really?

[C]

Why do you dribble all the time?

[E]

What is that?

[F]

It's the way they move the ball.

[C]

I just want to say. Yeah. While it's fresh on everyone's mind, Donald Trump colluding with the Russians is the most possible bag of ridiculousness imaginable.

[F]

Why is it?

[C]

Is it not?

[F]

Well, why is it preposterous?

[C]

Just by his demeanor and his coloration. Coloration, you'd think he'd be more likely to collude with the Germans. But surprise, the Germans don't actually exist anymore.

[B]

Well, they kind of do.

[C]

Not like they did in the 30s and 40s. No not like that. The Germans we have now are. They're adroit, intellectual and craftsmen. They're really just like the French.

[F]

That's a beautiful.

[C]

With better haircuts and superior personal hygiene. Better looking women too, if I may say.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You're absolutely correct.

[B]

They created that thick as f. Booty.

[C]

Yeah, baby.

[B]

What? 800. 800. Seven, two, three, four. 800. Oh, I threw Rush off a little bit.

[F]

You did Rush, but without really though.

[C]

Look, what with all this talk about indictments and collusion, you'd think the drive by media would have an inkling of an interest to cover crooked killery and the Uranium one scandal that's coming. Anyone talking about that?

[F]

Hell no, not yet.

[C]

Except for crafty sage professionals at the only trustworthy source on matters of international nuclear intrigue.

[F]

Which would be who? Fox News?

[C]

No, no. In fact, I've only discovered their under the radar, cleverly disguised series of expose style Hillary parables.

[F]

What?

[C]

Recently, while smoking perfectly legal medical hash oil with my friend Kid Rock.

[F]

What?

[C]

He turned me onto it, man. Okay, if you haven't caught this, you really must check it out. I'm speaking, of course, about a little piece of derivative journalism known to fans as the Rick and Morty show on Adult Swim on cartoon. And they've been doing this since 2014. Okay, truly, the program is breaking down the walls of secrecy surrounding what it must have been like in the Clinton White House and I'm including the Obama years, because obviously, except for the short two term administration of Reverend George W. Bush, may he rest in peace, he's not.

[F]

Wait, he's not dead?

[B]

Speed it up, Pre K. I get.

[C]

Him, I get them mixed up.

[B]

But.

[C]

And speaking of. And you can believe these allegations of misconduct with young women while on public stages with cameras rolling and Big Mama Bush right there on the scene, right? I mean, Big Mama Bush.

[B]

Big Mama Bush, Big Mama Bush.

[C]

Yeah, Mrs. Bush.

[B]

That went out in the 80s. Now it's landing strips.

[C]

I'm no expert.

[B]

And peach fuzz.

[C]

Frankly, the only people I've ever abused have been the drive in window help at White Castle. They keep screwing up my damned order.

[F]

What does this have to do with the brushes?

[B]

No matter how tripping on something, no.

[C]

Matter how specifically you say hold the onions, they always find their way into my double bacon and cheese sliders.

[B]

Rush. I knew it would happen sooner or later.

[C]

Trademark in white cast.

[B]

You were going to get on the show at least.

[C]

Enough. Peddling illicit stores of our precious nuclear fuels.

[B]

What?

[C]

Speaking of, why not? Mr. Rock has a delicious new bowl of hash ready here. Gotta get back to it, boys. Remember, Hillary is your answer for everything wrong in the world, okay? Especially with Russia.

[B]

Thank you. Rush, Michael and 07 Tahoe X cop car is probably seven grand. Those things don't bring much. Maybe eight. You there?

[J]

Yeah, I'm here.

[B]

Yeah. The, the X cop car Tahoes are a lot less. Guy Hagar. David Lee. Guy in Texas. Hagar or David Lee? Why can people not.

[J]

That's a tough question. It really is. I like David Lee Roth better as a singer, but Sammy Hagar gave the band more versatility because he could actually play the guitar and sing at the same time.

[B]

There you go. We, Wallace Edwards, will be coming on later with the. With the storyline. Good morning. David Lee or Hagar? Hello. That's a car. Good morning. David Lee or Hager? Cynthia?

[J]

Yes, I like Sammy, the Red Rocker.

[B]

You know, I'm kind of starting to like Sammy, too. Listening to the old VH stuff in and out. And I'm, I, I. That's why I'm asking, because I'm wondering if it's just me, and I hate to admit it because I was a David Lee fan. Just. Oh, God. Cynthia, where are you calling from?

[J]

I am calling from Bar X, Brazoria County.

[B]

Brazoria.

[J]

I'm actually being sick. Sick girl right now. For a backhoe.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Stick girl. For a backo. Jimmy. Good morning. Hagar.

[J]

Hagar.

[B]

Hagar. Another one. All right.

[J]

Yes, sir, the Red Rocker.

[B]

Where are you calling from?

[J]

I'm calling from Rosenberg, Texas.

[B]

Rosenberg. So you're listening to us on the Buzz?

[J]

Yes.

[B]

Is this the first time you've ever caught our show?

[J]

Yes, sir, it is.

[B]

Really? Well, have we gained a listener?

[J]

Oh, I've been listening y' all for a while.

[B]

Okay, well, that's what I said. Is this the first time you ever listen to us?

[J]

Oh, no, this ain't the first time I listen to. You know, I listen to you all the time.

[B]

You're not a virgin. See, we're wanting to get. I need some virgins. I need some virgin listeners. We need to deflower some virgin listeners. Listeners. Is really what my goal is today. So tell a friend, Grow the show. Tell them what's going on on Saturday mornings in our little club that, you know, you pull over, you grab your coffee, you'll pull over to that, the backside of that building that that is, that's empty. And you sit there, listen to the show and don't admit it to your wife or your friends. Your mother. Tell your, Tell your good friends. Tell them to join us. 8008-0080-0723-4800, 800 radio. Chris and Houston, a 10 infinity G37 with a buck 20 on it's worth about seven grand.

[J]

Seven grand?

[B]

Yep. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up. Mike and Grapevine 08 laramie quad cab half ton. Laramie 08. You know, 10, 11, 12 grand. I need to see it. Can you. Can you load it into the website and send some picks? Mackie Mack, you there?

[J]

Yes sir, I'm here. Can you hear me?

[B]

Speak up, boy. Take us out. We're going to break. Take us out. Tell everybody we'll be right back with more of the John Clay wolf show.

[J]

Mac, we'll be right back with the John Clay wolf show.

[A]

Give me the vin.com present presents the John Clay Wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read their reviews online. They've made it better license plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Give me the vin.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[C]

Givemethebin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[B]

Give me the bin.

[A]

Givemethebin.com and now Senor Juan Clay Wolf.

[B]

Chula's. That's what it was called. A listener just wrote it and said a great place to watch the game and get stabbed.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

You're not gonna get stabbed.

[B]

Melody Tyler Hagar or David Lee.

[J]

Hagar?

[B]

Hagar. It says first time caller here.

[J]

I'm a first time caller.

[B]

Where you live? You live in Tyler?

[J]

We actually live in Flint which is south of Tyler, Michigan.

[B]

Are.

[D]

We're not.

[B]

But I'm not on the air in Tyler.

[J]

You're on the air in my truck right now. Riding down the road.

[B]

Where are you?

[J]

So we were heading from to. We are actually right now in. What is this? Gary cup coming into Terell.

[B]

Okay, you see you're listening to us on 92.5.

[J]

92.5. Yes, sir.

[B]

What do you think so far?

[J]

I like it so far.

[B]

Good, good, good, good. John Selena, Texas. Roth or Hagar?

[J]

Yeah, definitely David Lee Roth. Better voice.

[B]

He does have a fantastic concert. He is fantastic in concert.

[F]

Is he better than the rocker?

[B]

Yeah, I think the body of work maybe is what I'm talking about the, the albums. You know, two decades later playing back. Yeah. Might be better with Hagar, but the jam ass factor without a question is raw. Yeah, no doubt. Thanks. Huh.

[J]

Thanks anyway.

[B]

Thanks anyway for what?

[C]

I think. I think Eddie's playing was better when David Lee was in the band.

[B]

Robbie, what you got?

[J]

Hey man, we're here in Oklahoma City rocking to the free world, praying for the people in New York, man. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Damn right.

[B]

Well, is this your first time? Is this your first time to catch us on the air on the bird.

[J]

Listen to Nikki Six on our channel is called the Brew 4.7 the Brew. And I listen to Six Inch at Night but I'm up here at he lake home city picking up kicking cans out to the street and off the golf course. And the damn golfer stow their beer cans everywhere. So sailor scouts or my sailor scouts can go out and pick them up.

[B]

Have you been to sleep yet?

[J]

Have I been to sleep yet?

[B]

Yeah. You sound like you're. You sound like you're all up. Want to do is zoom a zoom, zoom, zoom in a boom boom. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio bill in Houston, a Triton. Triton. That's a V8 truck, four wheel drive crew cab 10. Is it leather or cloth? A Ford F150.

[J]

Cloth.

[B]

So we got a cloth crew cab XLT. 120,000 miles on a 10. Average rough or clean?

[J]

Oh, it's, it's average. I've been holding big girls in it, but just average big girls.

[B]

Like if they were deer, would they like two twenties, two thirties.

[J]

Oh well my, my. My ex wife who told me that your show was stupid. It was about 240 but I got rid of her. Cuz we were arguing over at Carmax and I said dad, I can go down to the. Called the John Wolf show on Saturday. And she said I don't want to wait till Saturday. I said well we'll call the show. She said you're that show stupid. And I said you're stupid. Get out of the truck.

[B]

So we got rid of her over this.

[J]

Yeah, she's big. You know, she's not that pretty anymore, right?

[B]

Wow. And she doesn't have enough taste to. To, to choose quality radio. So we don't need her anymore. You didn't have to pay her, did you? Did you tell the judge this? He probably cut the alimony off over this.

[J]

It just happened last week and I don't think they got no alimony in.

[B]

That's right. What about kids. Did you impregnate her?

[J]

Oh, yeah, but they're ugly.

[B]

Ugly kids and a fat woman in bad taste.

[E]

Don't worry, I've got a place for all of them.

[B]

Satan. Good morning. Good morning. What. Where are you going to do with all of them?

[E]

I'm just listening on. Yeah, this guy's had a real hard time. He sounds like he's been cruel and unreasonable.

[C]

Right.

[E]

Not the case.

[F]

Really?

[E]

Yeah. Oh, she's a.

[F]

You know her? You know her personally?

[E]

Well, I know everyone.

[B]

There's nothing worse than a mean ex wife that is conniving and does nothing else but spend her time trying to figure out how to screw you out of your future happiness. Yeah, I have no. No experience in that.

[F]

No.

[E]

You know, that's what Kurt said about Courtney.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, Tough deal.

[F]

Very, very sad.

[B]

What is your. Do you have an ex wife, Satan?

[E]

Well, hell no.

[F]

No, he's too smart.

[B]

Hell no.

[F]

No. Hell no.

[B]

J.D. do you have an ex wife?

[F]

Yes, of course I do.

[B]

And what's she like? She's.

[F]

She's come around to be very nice when things, you know, weren't so great for a while. But she's fine now.

[B]

Where does she live?

[F]

She lives in Florida.

[B]

Oh, that's close.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

So how often do you have to see her?

[E]

Oh, it's not.

[F]

I never see her. She lives in Florida. Most of the hurricanes have missed her out of professional courtesy.

[B]

Because they're scared of her. So that's the reason that last one took a turn.

[F]

Exactly.

[B]

It was heading for her. And they're like, hell, we can't outrun her. We're going to turn up north.

[F]

It was professional courtesy, Irma. We're going to go this way.

[B]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. It's time for White, Black, Latino or other.

[G]

What's the damn deal, baby?

[B]

Got the DJ, pre K, white blackie, 8 mile B, rad in the house. The official white black man of the JCW show.

[G]

Yep, yep. I got another story for y', all, man. We got a Florida woman out in Lakeland, Florida, who's 53 years old, drunk as a skunk on a damn horse riding down the freeway, okay? So the officials, you know, they come through because people got to riding by a dollar, those three numbers, and they. They go by and they find this girl riding the horse down the freeway and they do a sobriety test, and it turns out this scallywag is off of the Richter. She is 1.61 of the legal limit of 0.08. So she is damn near double. So they go ahead and take her to jail, charge her with DUI and animal neglect. And so what y' all think, man? Black, white, Latino or other?

[B]

I'm gonna go white immediately.

[F]

I saw a white woman.

[C]

Now that's a Seminole Indian.

[B]

The last time I saw a black person riding a horse outside of the Circle L5 Riding Club at the Fort Worth Livestock Shield Rodeo was over by the studio, right below us about five years ago. There was a white horse and a black man on it here. Just ride right underneath us, bareback in the blue. Black man had on shorts and no shirt, no shoes, no service, no nothing in. The horse was stark white with no saddle, no pad, no anything. It looked like Kunta Kenti from Roots. And it went right underneath us. And it was unbelievable.

[F]

I think he borrowed that horse.

[G]

No, he's not. I remember this. Me and John looked at each other.

[B]

Like, what the hell did you take?

[D]

Ass?

[B]

Did you drop acid or did I.

[C]

No, they used to ride around all the time around here, man.

[B]

I used to see them all a little bit more. You're right. Circle L5 Riding Club, though. Oh. Anyway, back to your story. I'm gonna go white.

[G]

DJ I'm going black because of that story right there. You just remind me of.

[B]

Once you go black, Turley, you cannot turn around. Go ahead.

[C]

I say Native American.

[B]

Other Native American.

[G]

Okay, well, I'll tell y', all, man, I've seen all races ride horses around here, Fort Worth. But to day we got a white woman, 53 year old, Donna Byrne. And you know, man, I've been through the DUI stuff, you know, my personally, you know, they. They dragged me out that car made me feel like a real brother.

[B]

Troy, good morning.

[C]

That's a shame.

[B]

You're on the air. Troy, Troy, Troy, Troy, you're on the air.

[J]

I'm here.

[B]

What you got?

[J]

Good morning. Hey, I'm just going to say. David Lee Roth all the way from Paradise, Texas.

[B]

All right. Paradise, Texas. Mark. Good morning. What you got?

[J]

Yes, sir. Hey, David Lee Roth, man, lerosses.

[B]

So it's starting to even out.

[C]

Yeah, it is just in Paradise.

[B]

Good morning. What you got? Who's this? Hello? I'm taking it naked.

[J]

Oh, this is Kurt.

[B]

What you got, Kirk?

[J]

I just wanted to call y'.

[B]

All.

[J]

Bought my Viper a couple days ago and I just want to say thank you. It was.

[B]

Oh, the black one. Was it a black one with the white stripes perhaps?

[J]

It sure was.

[B]

5,000 miles. I remember that car because it was the Prettiest damn Viper I think I've ever seen in my life.

[J]

Well, thank you. Thanks, sir. Yeah, but no, I just. I just wanted to call and tell say thank you because I took it around to a couple other dealerships, and they kind of were lowballing me a little bit, but y' all stepped up and y' all beat them by over 5,000.

[B]

So which dealership?

[J]

We appreciate it.

[B]

I don't care. Name them. I mean, money's money. If we beat somebody by 5,000, I want to call them out.

[J]

Well, it was. Well, I'd rather not, but it was one in Tomball, and then there was one in downtown Houston. But I called y', all, and y' all said y' all come pick it up as well, so.

[B]

Right.

[J]

I just wanted to call and give y'.

[B]

All. We beat him by 5,000.

[J]

Yeah, 5,000.

[B]

Damn. Sounds like I went a little long in the tooth.

[C]

A little scary.

[J]

Wait a minute. Y' all did get here pretty quick to pick it up, too.

[B]

So did I give. Did we get. So how did. Did you just tell. Tell your process real quick. These are the good calls. This is what I want people to hear and understand. So how did you get this done? You. You did what?

[J]

Well, basically, you know, I heard the radio, the commercials, and then, you know, went to the website and put it in.

[B]

What website?

[F]

Easy.

[J]

Oh, give me the vin.com.

[B]

Okay.

[J]

And then. And then, you know, I sent a couple pictures, and one of your buyers, he contacted me and then just asked for a few more specific pictures. We negotiate a little bit and call me back a little bit later, and we got the deal done real quick. It was simple. And then the office called. They scheduled a pickup the very next day. And. And they showed up with the check and took it away. Took about 20 minutes. Once the drivers got.

[B]

Was my pretty signature on that check?

[J]

It sure was.

[B]

Well, good. See you. You shouldn't cash it. You should just put it on the wall.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[C]

That's.

[B]

Give me the car.

[J]

I took a picture of it.

[B]

Give me. Give me the car. All right. Thanks, man. Dylan, what you got?

[J]

Yeah, this. I was calling Sammy Hagar.

[B]

Sammy Hagar? Why is that?

[J]

Because he can play like crazy.

[B]

Okay, Steve, what's your take on this whole deal?

[J]

Van Halen?

[B]

And why is that?

[J]

He's the man.

[B]

He's the man.

[F]

He is the man.

[B]

He is the man. I think we need to play some more VH throughout the show today. Where you calling from?

[J]

Steve Houston.

[B]

Houston, are you a first time listener or do you do you ride with us every Saturday.

[J]

First time listener. The topic came up. I had a call in and say it'll be Ross.

[B]

Well, stay around maybe. Maybe we'll do something you like. My name is John Claywolf and we buy cars on the radio but we also update the news. Good morning, J.D.

[F]

Well today we. Tonight actually we fall back. Ready for that Tonight. Tonight, fall back to daylight savings times. Roll the clock back one hour at 2 o' clock in the morning. So you still have time to drink at the bar. You get an extra hour to drink in the bar actually. And you can just.

[B]

So if you're going to Chila's watching the World cup and it's overnight game, you're really in good shape.

[F]

You're in real good.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[C]

2:00Am It's 1:00am It's 1am you get.

[F]

To drink another hour. You can also think of it as the time of the year when grandma's VCR clock finally is correct once again. You don't have to go over and change that. A woman. We're going to move forward. A woman in Wisconsin is facing charges after her nine year old son was tied to the roof of their minivan to hold down a plastic pool.

[B]

This sounds a lot like what my brother did to me when I was 12 years old.

[F]

He tied you to the roof of my.

[B]

Do you not remember me telling you this truck? So my grandmother gave us a big screen TV for Christmas. My dad, the great big one like the size of that thing you remember back in the day. So the big box comes with almost like a refrigerator box.

[J]

Right.

[B]

And my dad told my brother brother to go take it to the company dumpster which was about 30 miles up the street.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

And my brother took his 12 year old brother and put it in the box to hold it down in the back of his truck. Now that's brotherly love.

[F]

That's totally.

[B]

And I was screaming hell fire and bloody murder on the highway because I could feel it start to lift and I was banging it.

[F]

You can't hear you hear me?

[C]

No.

[B]

No.

[F]

Did he get arrested?

[B]

No.

[F]

This lady did. Amber Schnunk is her name. 28 years old, had her son hold down the molded pool they had just purchased because it wouldn't sit fit inside the van. She later told an officer she thought it was okay because her father allowed her to do similar things when she was young. Then she asked the officer to pull her finger.

[B]

You Darvish's dad is right here and we're gonna have him in a minute. Mr. Darvish, how are you doing?

[C]

I'm incensed.

[B]

Incensed about what?

[C]

Of the way they have treated my son and the major leagues.

[B]

Really? He threw like crap, man.

[C]

America. Him pitch and he pitches well, but the batter still hit the ball. I'm mad about it.

[B]

Take me out, Mr. Darvish. And we'll be back in a minute.

[C]

Don't go away. You'll hear my anger and rage when the John Clay Wolf show returns after this.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

We're back.

[A]

Back to the john clay wolf show. Call in 800-800-roke love listening to y'.

[J]

All.

[A]

Presented by givemetheven.com.

[B]

Roth is pretty good, John. What you got? Blake Jackson. Like Jackson, John. I'll say.

[J]

Sammy.

[B]

You said Sammy what?

[J]

Sammy Hagar.

[B]

Okay, but you heard the intro that just came in, right, with Unchained.

[J]

That was very fuzzy to me.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty hard, you know, if you think it's Hagar and then you hear that, turn it up a little bit too early, it reminds you it ain't Hagar. It's David Lee. David. Danielle, you there? Yes. What do you think? I'm a Hagar fan all the way. How old are you? 22.

[J]

I'm 23.

[B]

Okay. That's. That's why she doesn't even know Sammy Hagar to her. I mean, David Lee Roth to her is like Grandpa Jones to us on he Hawk.

[J]

That is not true. I am a classic music girl all the way.

[B]

I'm lost her. Ben, good morning. You're on the air, Houston. Ben, these guys have, like, slow reactions. Everybody been drinking. Houston. Ben, good morning.

[F]

Delay, are you there?

[B]

Ben in Houston. God almighty, David, I'm with you. Is the freaking phone broke? David, this is Motorsports Range. Speak up, boy. Okay, when somebody says, david, you're on, then you say, hi, guys, good morning.

[J]

You start talking, Hi, guys, good morning.

[B]

What have you got?

[J]

Yeah, hey, I'm going with David. He's an entertainer. He's a showman. Sammy Higgard's great, but David Lee brought. He was all about the show.

[B]

He's as queer as J.D. ryan. Hey, Ben, wait a minute. Houston. Hey, good morning. You're on.

[J]

Good morning, guys. How are y'?

[H]

All?

[B]

We are good.

[J]

Tell me where to send a check for the wonderful entertainment and all the services you provide. It's beautiful, spiritual. You should be a cult leader. It's plain and simple.

[B]

You want to send and yes, of.

[J]

Course, it's David Lee Roth. Why else would I give it my only Van Halen ticket I ever purchased in 1981 for a buddy of mine who had to pay for an abortion for his girlfriend in high school.

[B]

Hey, man, that's serious business there. Now that is something out of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He gave up his ticket to pay for his buddies. Wow. Abortion buddy. You know, I read it.

[J]

You know, it's funny you mentioned go by myself and. Yeah, I wouldn't be fine.

[B]

I saw a girl last night. I saw a girl last night. All right. Of course, I'm not gonna name any names.

[F]

Thank you.

[B]

Because I. She's a sweetie. And I was actually a little mad at her for a while, but after looking at her and playing with her kid and having fun, I was like, she's a good person. I hadn't seen her in years. Anyway, I paid for her abortion about 20 years ago.

[F]

Do I dare ask why?

[B]

Because my. A guy that worked for me at the time had knocked her up.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

And he was freaking out.

[G]

Sure.

[J]

What you do.

[B]

And I just.

[J]

That's what you do.

[B]

And I just shut the deal down and loaned them the money. And we. We. They were too young. They didn't need to be having babies. Sure. But I saw her playing with that child last night. This deal. I was like, wow. Wow.

[C]

Like, wow.

[B]

What happened? That's the kid. He came back. I look at it this positive way.

[C]

Didn't want.

[B]

I look. I look at it as a good way. Cuz thank God she didn't have this other guy's kid. Cuz that guy sucks. The one that I loaned the money to to pay for abortion.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I saved that child's life.

[F]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[B]

You know, you never look at it, though.

[J]

You didn't get the ticket stub. No, worse. You're out of a ticket stuff. Forget the price of the money. I mean, you know, that's just. You just do what you do for a buddy.

[B]

So you like our show is what you're saying?

[J]

Oh, I love it. It's beautiful. I'm telling you, just either look, I'll get your wife a Dillard's card so she can buy, you know, something for her.

[B]

The kids fancy. For her and Audrey and Russ and the kids. Thanks, Ben. 800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800.

[C]

Right.

[B]

A lot of y' all are making faces on that last piece I did.

[F]

We're just backing away. It's a very nice story.

[C]

Not surprised to hear that you're pro choice.

[F]

But it doesn't need any explanation. It doesn't?

[B]

No, I'm just saying that Turley saying stop. But I'm saying that I did everybody a favor. You did by not not letting that guy recreate. Right. Because he still hasn't to this day. And there's a reason.

[F]

Oh, I get.

[C]

Look what just happened. You just lost a listener or two.

[B]

Travis in Oklahoma.

[C]

Good morning congregation Travis. Morning guys.

[J]

How are y'? All?

[B]

Great. What have you got?

[F]

You called.

[J]

I've got a 2004 Chevy. 1500, 1185 on it. Lifted aftermarket tires. Only a two wheel drive.

[B]

Okay, so two wheel drive. So it is have fake boobs for sure. They're not real. I mean it's a lifted.

[J]

No, unfortunately they're fake. Yes.

[B]

But if it did, if we were scoring it back to. If we were school, it's always fun to play with. If we're scoring it back to a breast augmentation, what size would the breasts be?

[J]

They would be about. Oh, that's a good question. I can tell you it's a 4 inch suspension on 2 inch body.

[B]

So it's got 6 inches of lift. It's probably sitting on 35s or sitting on 38s.

[J]

35, 12, 57, 35.

[B]

I'm gonna go with a. A good solid C maybe. Because if it started with a four wheel drive and then we did six inches then it'd be a D. Double D, Right? That's a C. Oh yeah, it's a C cup. Now. Now did you do it right where it like. Like it's the lift starts in the middle and goes all the way around to the armpit and it's got a good foundation. Or is it like a banana lift where it's narrow and long and kind of floppy?

[J]

No, it's good and solid.

[B]

Okay, good and solid lift. But it is from Oklahoma so we got to give it the Oklahoma discount. Yeah. Go Sooners and 0518000 miles extended cab fit. Typical Oklahoma. He forgot to get the extra two back doors. Yes, in a two wheel drive. And it's a fake. But it's a good looking fake. It's like a dancer.

[C]

Right?

[B]

This whole thing is reminding me of Hannah. We're going to have Hannah on later. I don't know man. Is it 77500? Maybe 8?

[J]

Yeah, I couldn't do that. I paid 9 for it.

[B]

Yeah, I mean just so typical. And when I said, when I said eight I was like man, I think I'm overbidden. It's some hard head at Oklahoma and he doesn't even know a good deal but he's got it. Eight. Damn high 800-807.

[F]

You know, cars appreciate in value.

[B]

800800 radio. You Darvish's father.

[F]

Oh, my Lord.

[B]

Is still angry.

[F]

He's so angry.

[B]

He is angry.

[F]

Well, here he is.

[B]

What's the story, man?

[F]

Some people don't know. He's from. He's from Iran, right?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

First time. I would like to thank you for having me on your program.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

To speak about my son.

[B]

Well, you was a Texas Ranger. He was. We're glad we traded him after we watched him and perform in that series. But we were real upset about it until about a week ago.

[C]

Jude Arvish was always nervous in Dallas.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Because of the hypocratic prejudice against his people.

[B]

What?

[C]

That is why Houston was so much better. And his best pitcher in the world.

[F]

Well know about that.

[C]

This cheating. This cheating son of bitch bastard.

[B]

Who?

[C]

Houston Astros. They cheat.

[F]

They hit every ball he throw.

[B]

They knocked five runs. They scored five times on him in the first two innings. Last at the. At the final game.

[C]

This is not his fault.

[F]

How's that cheating? They just. They hit the.

[C]

I tell you now, okay. When he throws, yes, you can no hit the ball unless you are cheating with some sort of NASA radar or another electronic meduminous.

[B]

He's so amazing that you think that for him to knock those 10 runs off of him in four innings over the series that they must be cheating.

[C]

You don't know how possible.

[B]

You don't know how, but you just know it's true.

[C]

I know the have NASA. I know they have Homeland Security. Yeah, I know they cause a hurricane.

[B]

Are you playing the Iranian race card?

[C]

And Mecca. The Houston Texans quarterback fall out. They cheat.

[E]

Stop.

[C]

They cheat at theish. It's not a sporting event when they cheat.

[B]

You Darvish's father. Are you playing the Iranian race card? Are you laying down the card?

[C]

Yeah, I'm only six saying that the Brooklyn Dodgers what are cheaters and how war has been. And even back to the day of the Jackie Robinson. Okay, I spit on it.

[B]

You heard him here first, guys.

[F]

Spit on your carpet.

[B]

Thanks. It smells like curry. That spit does. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. John, will you go to the website and load the truck? Your 16 Silverado. You can just put the plate number in and build it real quick and it'll spit a number out. I just. We're having so much fun on the radio. I don't want to waste our time with a bunch of car calls.

[J]

Okay, guys, I appreciate it, but I.

[B]

Would like to buy it. Do you want to sell it? Yes. Do you already have any bids for me?

[J]

I don't have any bids. I was just a little bit concerned about the mileage. Could you give me a ballpark?

[B]

16Lt crew cab. Is it a leather cloth rig? I'll tell you, the markets dropped about 3000 on these damn new body style Chevy since GM just announced a plan pricing on all the new ones for everybody, which is employee pricing. They haven't done that since 05 by the way. So yeah, I'm a little concerned about the miles too. It's going to be mid to lower 20s on a cloth one.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Go to. Give me the VIN.com. put your VIN number in or your plate number in and the system will send you a quick range, a tight range, and if you accept the range, then our guys will email you an actual offer after asking a couple more questions and we'll come to your house and we'll pick it up and we'll pay on the spot with cash. Our competitors use bank drafts that float for eight days and they don't pay. So if you like funny money, go to them. If you like real money, go to givemetheven.com Andrea in South Carolina, good morning. Hey.

[J]

Hey, how are you?

[B]

I'm good. What you got?

[J]

Hey, just telling you that I can't believe the guy called in and didn't know that was David Lee Roth. Apparently he didn't go to the show. Didn't see the black cutout leather pants and all the heyday.

[B]

Where do you live? South Carolina. Are you listening to us in South Carolina?

[J]

Yeah, on iHeartradios.

[B]

And how the hell did you find us on iHeartradio? We're not even advertised on there.

[J]

Yeah, you are. Actually, I have you on my favorites list.

[B]

Is this J.D. she's got me on her favorites list.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

She's got a sexy voice. Is that just a sexy voice? Have you been smoking a lot? Both. Okay. How long have you been listening to us?

[J]

Oh, well, just since I Heart Radio came out.

[B]

Well, that was like five years ago. So, like, how long do you think you've been listening?

[J]

No, no, no, no, no. Probably six months.

[B]

Awesome. That's a new listener. South Carolina sexy and a smoker. Can we advertise for cigarettes?

[F]

Sure.

[B]

Is that still no?

[J]

No, no, no, no. I'm trying to quit.

[B]

I know you're trying to quit, but I was thinking about making some extra money and if we've got, if, if we've got a lot of smoking crowd, then maybe we could. Because I know they quit after they quit allowing to tobacco ads.

[F]

Right?

[B]

But that's printed in visual. Is tobacco still allowed on the radio?

[C]

No.

[F]

Nor television.

[B]

So if I say I. I chew skull. Fine. Cut wintergreen.

[F]

That's not. Technically, it's fine if I.

[B]

If I didn't. If I didn't get paid.

[J]

Girls don't like that anyway.

[B]

What do you smoke, Andrea?

[J]

Marlboro Lights.

[B]

And when did you start this?

[J]

Forever and a day ago. But I'm going to quit again.

[B]

How old are you?

[J]

I am 50.

[B]

And when did you start? At 17 or 16.

[J]

You're close 15.

[B]

Yeah. Cool. But at least you're still here with us. And you might be for about three more years. So keep listening.

[J]

No, I'm gonna quit.

[B]

You know they die off quick. It's too late, Andrea.

[C]

You're dead.

[B]

Stop it. Oh, hell, she's dead. Or hell, she's dead. You stopped, J.D. she did. We love her and we want her with us.

[F]

We want her.

[B]

Look, Satan. Oh no. Can you keep her from the grasp of hell after 45 years of smoking?

[E]

Oh, sure. I do for you.

[B]

You do for me What?

[F]

It's trade.

[E]

You're gonna have to take up smoking yourself.

[B]

Who?

[E]

You.

[B]

Me?

[E]

Sure. No, I don't save her. But you gotta have a butt.

[B]

I mean like. Like smoke one or two pack a day.

[E]

Smoke them if you got them.

[B]

Uncle Roy and I would smoke cools. Menthols. Oh God, Andrew, have you ever had menthols? Oh, it's good. Especially if you're with black folk drinking Mickey's big mouth. And don't ask me how I know. Just trust me that I know. My name's John Clay Wolf and I'll be back. Una momento, por favor.

[A]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemetheven.com.

[I]

You know your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you. And John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to gimmetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to gimmetheven.com and give John your license plate number. And his system will immediately issue a price right there. Give me the vin.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[C]

So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show.

[B]

Dave. Wichita Falls Dave.

[J]

Hello there, guys.

[B]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. You got a 2011 Corvette Grand Sport. Is it a stick or an automatic?

[J]

It's a manual.

[B]

What color?

[J]

Three red with black leather.

[B]

What color wheels?

[J]

I guess the silver. Silver color.

[B]

Like high chrome or just the normal?

[J]

No, it's the normal.

[B]

And is it. It's a GS. Is. It's a Grand. It's a Z16 Grand Sport. Is it a 1, 2, 3 or 4 LT?

[J]

It's a 1 with navigation.

[B]

Okay. And it's a stick, you said. Right.

[J]

It is a manual.

[B]

How many miles?

[F]

42.

[J]

5.

[B]

Okay. It says 33,000 miles on here, so it's 42,000 miles. Okay, cool. Does 20, 20, 20, 20, 20,. 20 three grand. Buy it.

[J]

Oh, no, no.

[B]

It. I mean, it's the old body, man. It ain't a 14, you know. I mean you see new bodies getting sold in the 30s now. How much much is this car?

[J]

28.

[B]

I might go. I'll go 25 to 26 if it's nice. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up. Jay and plano, hit me quick. What you got?

[J]

Hey, good morning, guys. I just want to say you guys are awesome.

[B]

Hilarious. Well, hilarious. Well, I appreciate that. Jimmy in Missouri. Good morning. What you got?

[J]

I got kind of a question. Do you got a. A minute at least or so?

[B]

I gotta put you on hold and then when we come back we'll bring you back up. Where are you calling from?

[J]

Missouri.

[B]

Missouri. All right. My name is John clay wolf. About cars, the radio. Forgive me the vi.com be right back.

[A]

Give me the vin.com presents the John Clay wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number, no sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your [e-mail] if they don't beat carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. Givemetheven.com they've completely changed the car business.

[C]

Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it anyway.

[B]

Your underwear.

[A]

And now we return to the John clay wolf show presented by GiveMeThe Vin.com.

[J]

I just wanted to call, call in, tell you how much I love you.

[B]

Show 800.

[A]

800 radio.

[B]

He wanted to call in and say how attractive Bob I was.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

He was a homosexual man. Mail from amarillo, Texas. Bobbo drug him out of the.

[F]

Just came out this week with Kevin Spacey.

[B]

Yep. Out of the closet.

[H]

I don't care what that guy says. I think Bobbo's mainly cool.

[B]

Hey, Rusty.

[G]

Hey.

[C]

Get.

[G]

Get Randy away from the burritos.

[F]

Randy. I know. He's nibbling our burritos over here.

[B]

Speaking of Gallagaskin's Sandwich Shop in Fort Worth. Yes. They brought us some breakfast burritos are awesome. Tony Romo's dad was over there helping to make them because somehow he's related to. To Tony Romo's dad.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Really?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

But we've been eating over there. That place has been there since 72. Really? Well, that and that is. Gallagaskins is the best sub shop in Fort Worth.

[F]

Absolutely.

[G]

And they make the best salad. If you're somebody that likes salads, like me.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I went to smu.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

New York Subway was across the street from smu.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

So it's pretty close. Like, who's better? Because they're different.

[G]

Different.

[B]

If you. If you're a Dallas Fort Worth ite and you've done New York Subway and Gallagaskins. I wonder which one. I think New York Subway closed. But they. They were open before Subway started. Wow. These are just two old ass sandwich.

[F]

Yeah, these are. These are awesome. Galagaskin's handmade. And they're just.

[B]

But what's weird is, is that their breakfast burritos are like, I think the best too. Anyway, a little free plug there. Thanks for the food.

[F]

Antonio Romo's dad actually grilled the. Grilled the onions and he did grill.

[B]

The onions and the jalapenos. Randy. Rusty. What? What happened? Get out of. Get out of the.

[H]

May I give up?

[B]

What?

[F]

Give up what?

[H]

It always happens to me.

[F]

What?

[B]

You know, you think everything's fine.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, why me? God.

[F]

What's the matter? What happened?

[H]

I've always been good.

[B]

What you want to do? What happened to you?

[H]

Saved lots of nuts.

[F]

You look very.

[H]

Tell my kids to believe in great coons.

[F]

You look very downtrodden.

[B]

What happened?

[F]

Never seen you like this.

[H]

Cause all the terrible, terrible things happen in the world.

[F]

What happened to you?

[H]

Why did have to happen to Nissan Jackson?

[D]

What?

[H]

What?

[B]

DeShawn Jackson?

[F]

Why are you so upset? Why are you so upset about Deshawn? Deshawn Jackson?

[B]

Here he is. J.D. you're saying it like a racist. Is Deshawn Deon Jackson Not Deon? That's mustard.

[F]

Oh, that's mustard.

[B]

Go ahead. Rusty Houston, Texas quarterback. Well, why.

[H]

Yeah, a hot shot quarterback show like.

[B]

Umpteen touchdowns in four weeks, right?

[H]

I seen it come. I picked him up.

[F]

What?

[H]

On my fantasy team.

[F]

On the fantasy team.

[H]

I've made $140 in four weeks.

[F]

That's why you're upset?

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

And everybody on the team benefited from his breathtaking ability.

[F]

Yeah, he's amazing.

[H]

And genius leadership on the field. And punks. Punks like Lamar Miller and Will Fuller.

[B]

Suddenly they're 20, 25 points a week.

[F]

Well, yeah.

[B]

Cha Ching.

[F]

Yeah, big time for you.

[H]

And then he, he cares his ACL at practice.

[F]

Yeah, at practice. At practice. I never heard a chipmunk cry.

[H]

Now it's a week nine and all the good quarterbacks go stop it. And I'm heading start Matt be going.

[B]

Matt the who I know I never.

[H]

Heard of who neither. If I lose this week, I'm leaving.

[B]

What do you think the Cowboys are gonna do without Zeke? What do you think my girl Sharonda's gonna do without her $140. He's back. He's on, he's off the Zeke. I thought it was finally done this round and then the New York or somebody, some judge came in and put another stay in so he gets to play against the Chiefs this weekend.

[H]

I know when a guy I'm playing this week, he's got Zeke Elliot.

[B]

Jimmy Jimmy in Missouri. Good morning, you're on the air.

[J]

Before I get to my question, I, I, I did want to say that I'm older than that smoker who called in and I've been smoking Since I was 15 because of some girl and I'm still alive and Satan have failed me miserably.

[B]

Well, that so, so there is a ying and a yang to every situation.

[J]

Yeah, I, I, I outlived, I outlived her so far. But anyway, what's on your mind, boss? Okay, so here's the situation. If you have had about $4,000 to spend on a beater, four wheel drive, Chevrolet Chevrolet.

[B]

Halftime.

[J]

Okay. And, or there's this, yeah, it's a strip joint. I think it used to be a chicken house.

[B]

Okay.

[J]

And it's all nude, you know, and five dollar cover charge. Bring your own beer. And so that's what I, you know, should I spend it all on the Ryan ride up there or should I, you know, what kind of beater should I buy if I bought a beater?

[B]

What city are you in?

[J]

I'm in Castell Caspell.

[B]

What?

[J]

Cascade? Springsville, Missouri.

[B]

So do they have Uber up there?

[J]

What?

[B]

Do they have Uber up there down here?

[J]

No, man, that's, it's about burritos. The place is outside of Springfield. It is all nude.

[B]

Do they. Do you have Uber? I'm saying spend all your money on the. On the girly bar. If you have Uber, see where you can get around. That's all just budget, man. Just budget. Eight hundred. Eight hundred. Seven, two, three, four.

[G]

Four grand.

[J]

Eight.

[B]

Sure, sure. Holy cow.

[F]

Smoking and spending your money.

[B]

Absolutely. Dan. SRT. Challenger. Challenger. It's challenger, man. It says leather roof nav. 125 over 400. What the hell does that mean?

[J]

That means only 400 of these were painted in that particular color.

[B]

Is it a B5 blue, or is it a purple?

[J]

It's a fuchsia.

[B]

Fuchsia. Fuchsia. Like me. Randy, what is fuchsia? I forget. Is that pink? Hey, Dan, go to. Give me the vin.com and load it up. I think it's 20, 20, 2000.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

All right. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Real quick, the drunk Astros announcer after the game. Is that right?

[G]

Well, we can do that one or we can do drunk Trump. You want to hear that? Astros.

[B]

I like Drunk Trump's always, always a crowd pleaser. We'll do drunk Trump, and then we'll roll out to the next segment, hit the music thing, and then come back with our last segment on Dallas and Houston Era.

[G]

He was talking about the new immigration visa program.

[B]

I am today starting the process of.

[J]

Terminating the diversity, diversity and diversity lottery. Diversity lottery. Sounds nice.

[B]

It's not nice. It's not good.

[A]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethevin.com Coming up.

[I]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you, and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to gimmetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to gimmetheven.com and give John your license plate number, and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Givemetheven.com They've completely changed the car business.

[C]

Give me the vin.com so easy, you. You can do it in your underwear. His bank balance has always been lower than his credit score. But on Wednesday nights at the nudie bar he fronts like the archduke of amateur night. When he comes up short on his end of a deal, instead of making good, he says, get you on the next one, bro. When he finally breaks down and gives the missus a massage. He demands that his 15 minutes of intensive work is rewarded with three minutes of happy daddy time. He is the world's biggest son of a. I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty like tall boy.

[B]

Yeah buddy, buddy. Happy daddy time. There's nothing better than a happy daddy.

[C]

Hi everybody. It's your happy Daddy. I don't know what to be.

[B]

Good morning everyone. John, Clay, Wolf, J.D. rose, Ryan, Bob O and Turley Randy. The Chipmunks come and gone. Romero's dad, Romero Romo is coming up next. We had Hannah on earlier with her nephew and she's going to come back in the 4 in hour number four. Some of y' all don't get our number four. You'll have to get it off the podcast at itunes or john claywolfshow.com you can download it right there. Kyle in 08 Dodge Cummins with 174 Wheel Drive SLT. What city? Yeah, Kyle, what city?

[J]

I live over by Frick at the Amel area.

[B]

Okay, average rough or clean?

[J]

Pretty clean.

[B]

Long bed or short? It's a short bet if it's a half. Yeah, is I don't know an 08. So it's a 170,000 miles. Sounds like a $10,000 truck.

[J]

For a three quarter ton coming.

[B]

Yeah, with 170.

[J]

Oh, I got a pass.

[B]

What do you think it's worth?

[J]

It's around 20.

[B]

Is it leather?

[J]

No, it's cloth.

[B]

Is it a mega cab?

[J]

No, it's a crew cab.

[B]

Does it have a sunroof?

[J]

No.

[B]

Does it have a lift kit?

[J]

Just a leveling kit.

[B]

So it's just a damned old mild out truck. I mean it's good but it ain't 20 that some cost. 32 new. I used to sell them. But keep, keep cruising. Keep trucking. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[F]

Keep looking up because that's where it all is.

[B]

What have you got in the news jd?

[F]

Let's see. Lamp post in Austria. Just a matter of time are being covered in airbags to stop so called smartphone zombies from bumping into them as they walk around staring at their screen. Salzburg authorities say tourists are increasingly hurting themselves by not looking where they're going while checking their devices. Unfortunately there's a bad turn to this. The airbags were manufactured by Takata and 300 innocent bystanders have been injured. A police officer. John's just looking at me like what?

[B]

I like it. I like it.

[F]

Didn't really happen. Didn't really happen, but the. But the airbag part really did.

[B]

A police officer Jiffy Pop story.

[F]

There you go. A police officer in Reno, Nevada is in trouble. He dressed up like controversial ex quarterback Colin Kaepernick for Halloween. Officer Antonio Guerrero wore a fro wig, a fake pointy nose, and he held a slight sign that said, we'll stand for food. He's in a lot of trouble. Cavern could not be reached for comment because his shift as a sign twirler wasn't quite over yet.

[B]

This is starting to remind me of a weekend update on Saturday Night Live. The punchlines, John. A 98 Ford F250. Is it a Cummins?

[J]

Hello, John.

[B]

Is your truck a Cummins? I mean a power. Power stroke.

[J]

No, no, no. It's a five, four gas.

[B]

Okay. God, listen to that voice on John. We need him to do our commercials. Good morning, John. Say good morning. You're welcome to the John Clay Wolf Show. Do it in your best radio voice.

[J]

All right. Good morning. You're welcome to the John Claver.

[B]

No, he has a beautiful voice, but it. But his. But his Louisiana training just kicked in. His. His. His interpretation of the English language. See if we could take that voice and teach him English diction. John, would you be willing to come up here? You know, the best way to learn English is to live with a family that speaks English for about a month.

[J]

Yeah, my great grandma, she. She never spoke English. Only French.

[B]

Only French. I hear it. We want. Bring the truck up here and stay with us for a month and we'll teach you English. And you could be our spokesman. But my name's John Clay Wolf, I. E. Oh, that's funny.

[F]

All right. It is 96 days until the Winter Olympics open in South Korea. Officials, however, say. And tickets are not selling very well. There are concern that it might be a bomb.

[B]

Romero Romo. Good morning.

[C]

Buenos dias.

[B]

Did you get his Jack joke? Did you get his joke?

[C]

They'll buy they bone.

[B]

The Winter Olympics in South Korea are not selling well. People aren't planning to come. Some are starting to suggest it might be a bomb.

[C]

They think it could be a bone.

[B]

You get it? A bomb from Kim Jong Un.

[C]

I understand.

[F]

Yes, he gets it.

[C]

It's a good joke.

[F]

All right. I'm glad you liked it.

[B]

Thanks for the breakfast burritos from Galagast.

[C]

Really Well, I only onion was responsibly. For the onions.

[F]

They're good.

[C]

They are perfecto.

[B]

They were perfecto over there off Camp Bowie in Fort Worth.

[C]

This I learned to do from my father. He was the onion man at the very first Burger King in Fort Worth.

[F]

I did not know.

[B]

Wait, Romero, real quick. I'm gonna grab Spencer. Spencer and Austin an 02 sport track with 87 if it's nice. I think it's three to four grand.

[J]

Three to four? Yeah.

[B]

All right. Go ahead, Romero. GiveMeTheVen.com is where you can go to load your car up to get get it sold to us. And yes, we want to buy it. We buy many bought 200 cars this week.

[C]

You know, many of the fans of the Vaqueros de las the Dallas Cowboys.

[F]

Dallas Cowboys. Yes.

[C]

Are very excited to have a Tony's homecoming.

[B]

Ah.

[C]

This weekend.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

As 3:25 tomorrow you can see him on the CBS Sports broadcast.

[F]

It's going to be a big day, man.

[C]

Very exciting. He and the gymnast will call the Cowboys game versus the son of beach bastards city chefs.

[B]

Everybody is a sunbish bastard.

[F]

Everybody is.

[C]

Well, no, this is only local room talk.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

The way I say it'll be weird.

[F]

For Tony to be back in at and T stadium and not being that.

[C]

And Antonio, who never.

[B]

It won't be weird for him to be out in there and not on the field though.

[C]

No.

[B]

Wow. Who's your daddy? Oh, there he is.

[C]

Oh, no, you go. You go ahead. You go. Are you going?

[F]

Yeah, I'm going.

[B]

You go ahead. You go ahead. No, I'm sorry. I'll shut up. I'll turn my mic off. Go ahead, Romero.

[C]

Because I don't know when to go now. You know, Antonio will not say only ire they most. He hates the chefs.

[F]

He hates the Chiefs.

[B]

Really.

[C]

But all of his old teammates from the Dallas Cowboys, you may notice during broadcast, he does not call him by the name that you know him by.

[E]

Really.

[C]

But he have been around the team for so long that he have. They have little nicknames that they call each other.

[F]

Oh, little nicknames. Well, that makes sense.

[C]

Yes. If you hear him talk about the coach on the sideline, right? And it's says El Jefe Rojo. This is a Jason Garrett.

[F]

Yeah. Big Red.

[C]

The Red Boss.

[F]

Gotcha.

[C]

You see? And he says here is a slight pass to the old man. The old man, this is Jason Witt.

[F]

Jason Witt, the old man.

[C]

You know, he's 67 years old.

[F]

No, he's not.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yes, he is.

[F]

No, he's not.

[C]

And if we talk about the little.

[B]

Ginger, he's Jay Novacek's uncle. Go ahead.

[C]

This is the little Cole Beasley. Cold little Ginger.

[F]

Ginger. Okay.

[C]

And the. There's Brian. He not says that. Sometimes he says this, right? But usually when he talk to me on his teammates, he calling him Big Stymy.

[F]

Big Sty.

[B]

Like this. Like the Little Rascals.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Why don't they call him Buckwheat?

[C]

Well, this is not something you want to do.

[B]

Buckwheat was my favorite character. Wait, did you ever see Eddie Murphy impersonate Buckwheat on Saturday night?

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Buckwheat sings the hits.

[C]

Antonio's younger brother Jaime, he does a very good Buckwheat. Ah, you should have him on his show.

[B]

But what is. Can you give me a quick taste.

[C]

Of his for purposes over the broadcast. You don't ever want to make. Make fun of the bug weed. Okay, okay, okay. This will be like a. To the black culture. If they come here and tell you that Willie Nelson is a goofball. Oh, and you'll be offended, right?

[B]

No.

[C]

So I wouldn't. If you say to them, oh, that's brownies, little Buckwheat, they'll be very, very offense.

[B]

Can you give me an impersonation of your son Jaime's impersonation of Buckwheat?

[C]

Yes, yes. He says. He says, okay, I am the Buckwheat and oh, and I'm looking for nub in all the wrong places. No, he's very good. He's better than me, I think.

[B]

Right.

[C]

I cannot do.

[B]

But do you think you can teach that coon ass caller from a moment ago ago how to speak English as clearly and nicely as you have mastered the language?

[C]

Yeah. I am third generation, so I have been here for a long time. Since San Diego. I speak English all of the time, as you can tell.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[C]

And the. Sometimes it. It says, I don't mean to. To offend sweet potato dog. The little face Larry on the field is talking about the Rowdy.

[F]

Oh, Rowdy.

[C]

Oh, the cheerleader because he had him.

[F]

He hates Rowdy.

[C]

This whole time Rowdy made a pass at Tony.

[F]

I don't think so.

[C]

And Tony ripped his costume head off. No. And he throw it. This was a long time ago in the old Texas stadium, Right. They still have no family head. They think from the trajectory they get their friends at NASA to major the trajectory.

[F]

Right.

[C]

Atheni may have gone 219 yards. Wow. Which will put it in the middle of ground prairie where they cannot find safely. Yes. So enjoy the game and please be careful with your children.

[B]

I have a feeling that that head flew in a high tight spiral right down loop 12. All right. We're gonna lose some of our affiliates. If you'd like for these to stations that are fixing to dump us to carry us, call in the programming department. Tell them to turn it on. There's no reason they shouldn't carry us. It's either us or dead rock stars. And I love dead rock stars as much as anyone, but you can listen to them Monday through Friday and all day after this. I love my dead rock stars, sure, but I think we're better for Saturday mornings. My name is John Clay Wolf. His name is J.D. ryan. Mr. Impersonacciancio is Bobbon Bobo, the basket. Bob Floyd. Bob Floyd. Bob Floyd. Can you give us a dope report update on the way out real quick? You got 30 seconds.

[C]

Tell you what. Right now, while you got the time, before football starts tomorrow, get your cocaine lined up. It's gonna be a great day for it. Sunny Sunday football, NFL, just like Golden Richards.

[B]

All right, the phone numbers. 800, 800 radio.GiveMeTheVin.com. give me the vi n dot com. Go there. Put your VIN number in or your license plate. It'll bid your car immediately. If they don't beat your carmax offer, they owe you 100 bucks. I don't just endorse the company. I own it. And I'm the guy who puts the numbers on the cars and programs the computer, so you can blame me. We want to buy them. My name is John Clay Wolf. See you later.

[C]

He got caught banging his supervisor secretary because, timing wise, he couldn't punch out on his time card when he was punching in on her. Instead of using arrest room for a deuce, he drops trowel, leans his back against a tree and hopes for the best. He'd rather spend three hours in a hotel with your wife than 15 minutes at home with his own. He is the world's biggest son of a. I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty like tall boy yeah, buddy.

[B]

Bob, are you gonna bring us in like homegrown style? I like it when you play for us.

[C]

Yeah, man.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Down in Jamaica they got lots of pretty women Steal your money Then they break your heart Lonesome sue, she's in love with all Sam Take em from the fry to the frying pan Everybody singing On and on it just keeps on trying and it smiles when it feels like crying on and on on.

[B]

And on on and on It's a good thing. Makes me feel like I'm in Colorado campfire. Oh, hell, I'll keep listening.

[C]

Well, first Time is the last time you ever feel so bad. If you know it, show it. Hold on tight. Here's your part time, I guess. Let us say good night.

[B]

I could do better than that. Wait. Do it. Start it over. I'll try to hit it. I can hit the gay high note.

[C]

Hold on tight. Don't let us say good.

[B]

Now. Here's your part, John. Here's your part. Susan. Yeah. Do your job.

[C]

My name is Tony. I listen from Oklahoma City. I can't wait till the fourth hour when y' all bust out the guitar and get high and start singing old pop songs. I want to make a request. Will you please play Sarah Smile by Oates and Hall?

[B]

Sure. This is. Wait, J.D. can you. Can you get. Do you know Sarah Smile by Bob?

[C]

Hell, no.

[B]

Oh, this is a good song. We'll get back to playing the guitar and getting high, high notes later.

[E]

Darn.

[C]

And for the record, we're not using anything, folks.

[B]

Using anything, like, to get high.

[C]

God, I just sounded like J.D.

[B]

Didn'T I?

[F]

Yes, you did.

[B]

You're getting old and you're getting grumpy.

[C]

That was never my intention.

[F]

And getting sober.

[B]

What is. What is Hank singing about here in the. This song, Bob?

[C]

Well, there's a wooden Indian statue outside the old general store.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And he's looking at a wooden Indian maid.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

At the haberdashery down the road. And one of these days, they sold her. And he never let her know how he felt about it.

[E]

Man.

[C]

Old Collagen.

[B]

I asked the right guy about this one, man.

[F]

I wouldn't.

[B]

Did you just make that up, or is this.

[C]

That's what the song's about, huh?

[B]

Where's the haberdashery?

[C]

Minnie's Habitat.

[B]

Like Virginia, it's about. Or like Mississippi.

[C]

10 miles inside of Red Rock, I think.

[B]

Colorado.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

No, no. Wyoming. Right.

[G]

I don't know.

[B]

I've never been. I'm just listening to you tell me campfire stories.

[C]

Kurt Russell, Sammy Jackson, man. I guess you're going to Red Rock. You know I am.

[B]

That's right. That's a good song.

[C]

Many habitat.

[J]

Ah.

[B]

800, 800. 7,000, 234. 800.

[C]

He never got a kiss.

[B]

You don't know what you're missing.

[C]

Don't know what he missed.

[B]

So collage was a wood Indian statue.

[C]

Is it any wonder his face is red? Poor old wooden head.

[B]

Okay, I believe you. I believe you. 8008-772348-00800. Radio.

[C]

Very popular song in Oklahoma.

[B]

So tell me, Turley, about The Astros announcer that would inebriated in the locker room after the big win.

[G]

Well, Steve Sparks, he's the color analyst for the Astros radio network.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[G]

And he's a goofball. Anyway, he's a.

[B]

What does color analyst mean in this day and age and in political correctness?

[G]

I mean, he just fills in some color of the game instead of giving.

[F]

The play by play. He says, hey, and by the way, did you know the reason the jerseys are blue? I don't know.

[B]

But do you think that that's like discounting the word color?

[F]

Oh, dear Lord, no.

[G]

I never thought of it that way.

[C]

It's a technical term, John.

[B]

Jim Nance. Yeah.

[C]

Does the actual broadcast announcing. Tony Romo is the color commentator.

[B]

But do you think that's a spin on his Mexican heritage?

[F]

He's not a hater.

[B]

He's a Texan. He's the accidental racist. Okay, I'll shut up. Go ahead.

[G]

Anyway, Steve Sparks, former knuckleball pitcher. So he's a goofball. Anyway, in the locker room after the game.

[B]

But they won the World Series. You're right over there, bubba.

[G]

And he got a little bit excited, and he may have been drinking some of the bubbly, too.

[B]

Yes.

[J]

Steve Sparks back in the Astros clubhouse with Ken Giles.

[B]

All right, back with Ken Giles in the Astros clubhouse. Can. This is. This is nuts. Because it's the most crowded clubhouse I've ever seen. Maybe with the man, I am damp. What else? You guys just won the World Series. I can't see. But can you?

[J]

Absolutely. I can see everything. Everything's bright. Fantastic.

[C]

Here.

[B]

Blinded me with science, Ken.

[J]

The sky's the limit for us, and we're gonna keep on rolling.

[B]

I knew all this would tie together. Here's Hannah coming back in. Hey, Hannah. What the hell? Were you at the game? Because that scene sounds like your involvement.

[D]

No, but I know what's going on.

[B]

You didn't go work the Astrodome.

[D]

That guy's not drunk.

[C]

He's not?

[D]

No.

[F]

Sure sounded drunk.

[D]

He sounds like he's had the shroom.

[F]

Oh, shrooms.

[H]

Yeah, I know.

[F]

I've heard of them.

[D]

Everything's so beautiful.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You just can't stop touching your sweater.

[F]

Well, they're happy because they just won.

[B]

The puppies. The sweater puppies. The national championship.

[D]

Drinking Hawaiian punch and vitamin C makes it go crazy.

[F]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

So. Did you. Because, like, at the super bowl last year, you made, like, $50,000 that week. Or 150. Did you go work the World Series?

[D]

I couldn't cuz.

[B]

You've got.

[D]

I'm strapped with Pinky.

[B]

Pinky, I forgot, is stuck with her sister's kid. Her nephew. Pinky.

[F]

Nephew Pinky?

[B]

Pinky, you here?

[H]

Yep.

[B]

Did you want your Aunt Hannah to take you down to the World Series? Are you glad that y' all stayed home?

[H]

I'm a little mad at her for not taking this well.

[B]

What? What now? We talked earlier, you guys. I know kids like to stay up late. Sure, but this is getting ridiculous. Pinky, have you been to bed yet? Still no. No. Still no.

[F]

Because he told you no earlier and obviously you don't remember now.

[B]

How old are you, Pinky?

[H]

I don't know.

[B]

You don't know your age?

[H]

I don't know my age.

[B]

Hannah, how old is your nephew?

[D]

He's nine. And you can't take him to Houston. Just because he can party. Okay. With people here in Dallas Fort Worth.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Doesn't make you take him to Houston. God's sakes.

[F]

Well, he shouldn't be up with you in a bar all night. Do you understand? That's really not cool.

[D]

It is a dance club.

[F]

I know. Same thing. Dance club? A nine year old? Really?

[D]

You like to come there?

[F]

Well, I do, but I'm not nine.

[B]

Pinky, what did you see last night at the dance club when you were with your Aunt Hannah?

[H]

Nothing new, really. I. Everything there was just.

[B]

Get in that microphone, Pinky, so I can hear you. Eat it.

[H]

Everything there. I was just used to.

[D]

What about the buffet?

[H]

Oh, still used to. Those girls I was used to.

[B]

Do you like all the pretty girls? Girls?

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Hannah, your. Your nine year old nephew's kind of weird kid. Now, where did y'. All.

[H]

They're calling me weird.

[B]

What did y' all do? Pinky? What did y' all do after she got off work last night?

[H]

We went to her other friend's house.

[B]

Did y' all not stop for the strip of breakfast like all of them do? Nope. No, you didn't go anywhere after.

[D]

Yes, we did, too. We went to Denny's. And you got the French Grand Slam. You didn't eat a single bite.

[F]

That's why he forgot.

[D]

Because you're staring at my friend April.

[H]

Yeah, because it was disgusting.

[B]

How. How much longer are you going to be strapped down with this kiddo?

[D]

I hate children.

[F]

No, you don't. He's cute.

[C]

Not just this one.

[B]

How much longer you going to be strapped down with Pinky?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Your sister's in county.

[D]

I know. I try to call her mom and she's in rehab. And psych.

[B]

This. God, it's complicated. You said her mom. You mean y' all don't have the same.

[D]

Our mom.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know if y' all had the same. Same b. Baby daddy.

[D]

Oh, no, no. Look at him.

[F]

That would be silly.

[B]

Oh, look at Pinky. Yeah, right? He's not nearly as attractive as you are.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So how many brothers and sisters do you have, Hannah? Eight.

[F]

Eight.

[B]

Sounds like the Waltons. Really? It kind of was. What's it like? What's it like at, like, Thanksgiving dinners.

[D]

Coming up at night? We'd be all like, good night, Hannah. Good night, Elizabeth. Good night, John Boy. Good night, Cujo. Good night, Bart.

[B]

Bart. Cujo.

[D]

The twins, Bart and Cujo. Our dad was a big Stephen King fan. That's why he died.

[B]

Why did he die from that?

[D]

He took a truck driving job, and he got a hazard pay job hauling logs out of Maine. And he met Stephen King. That's why I got the job, because he was a big Stephen King fan. And his truck full of logs fell into the Hudson Bay. And he died.

[B]

Thank you, Hannah. Good to see darling next year you need to get rid of the kid. Go ne. Go work the World Series. Make that extra money. Come on.

[D]

Stupid.

[B]

God. 800. 807, 2, 3, 4, 8. 800 radio. So we've had success with actual Rose sings the hymns.

[F]

Yes, we have.

[B]

I don't know if we have that on tap. Mike, do. We do if we have that, let's play it. If we don't, we won't have time to find it.

[G]

You mean just like this one?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Take me down to Jerusalem City where the ground is brown the girls are.

[B]

Covered I want to take me to my Lord I want to see my.

[H]

Lord Please take me to my lord give me $20.

[B]

So we had the idea of Axl Rose, since he's so multifaceted, amazing, and he likes to come by the studio.

[C]

Last week, he did Free Bird.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And that was interesting.

[B]

No, no, no, no. It's changed. Hang on. I'm all screwed up. It was blue eyes. We'll just talk like normal. We're. We're. We're gonna test this out to figure out what we got. We're gonna do Frank Sinatra sings. No, Zeppelin. Zeppelin. Zeppelin.

[C]

You didn't like my song choice, the first one?

[B]

Well, I. I said we need to. If we're gonna change the delivery of. Of it, then we need to use a very prevalent song so people wouldn't miss it. Like the. The dumb hits that everybody knows because you're gonna have you worked on it at all yet?

[C]

Yeah, I do it all the time. It cracks me up, dude. I sit at home by myself and tape this and listen to it back and just. Just laugh my ass off.

[B]

So you have taped some Frank Sinatra sings Led Zeppelin?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. You know, at my house. It's not nearly.

[B]

Do we have Charlie, do we have a recording of that? Let's, let's, let's get go.

[C]

No, we have. We have no recordings.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Well, let's just do it Ron. See how it works out.

[C]

We're working on music back. Okay.

[B]

Sinatra, Singh, let's just work this out with the listeners. It's fine, man. I mean they're all just sitting down chilling. Saturday morning, let me look up a.

[G]

Zeppelin song because I have Fly me to the moon Frank Sinatra karaoke.

[B]

No, no, but that's the idea is. Is go with Sinatra background in Zeppelin lyrics.

[C]

Huh. Okay, well I'll try anything there.

[B]

Okay, here we go. Okay. Do you know the lyrics? Sure. All right. Sure.

[C]

Okay, here we go. Okay. I got to let first go by.

[B]

Every second he's getting loaded in the brain.

[C]

There's a lady that knows all that glitters is gold and she's buying stairway to heaven yeah. In the morning she knows if all the doors clothes she'll still get what she came for on that stairway to heaven. Yeah. Where are you from?

[E]

I don't know.

[B]

That's good. That's good.

[C]

That's a good idea.

[B]

That's good.

[C]

We just use regular song beds.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

So maybe next week we have something like really worthwhile.

[B]

What was the other song that I pulled up? I pulled up. That was Fly me to the moon.

[G]

Got me under your skin.

[B]

So st again, blue eyes. Let's see what we got here. With a purple operator in a. You know that one? Yeah. You might have to pull up the lyrics.

[C]

I can almost hear the guy singing. Cuz in the land of mortar I met a girl so fair But Gollum the evil one crept up slipped away with her I'm just gonna ramble on, sing my song. Rambling on gonna ramble. Yeah yeah.

[B]

Everything is in. Yeah.

[C]

That's throwback to Bill Murray, man.

[B]

Did you ever see Sinatra, J.D.

[F]

Of course.

[B]

Was it great?

[F]

Not personally, no. I mean I've seen him in concert. I mean videos. No, of course not. In person. No.

[B]

You a big star. You've interviewed bigger stars in Sinatra.

[F]

I don't think so.

[B]

Ron, where are you calling from?

[J]

I'm calling from Kingston, Oklahoma.

[B]

Kingston, Oklahoma. Ladies and gentlemen, that's why the connection sounds so distant and broken. Come in, Itasca. Come in. This is Noonan. Come in, Itasca.

[C]

You've reached the year 2017.

[B]

He's got a 14. Really? Corvette Stingray. I know the dealer told him that that was the current year model when he bought it three weeks ago. Right. Because in Oklahoma it is. It is gm. General Motors holds back the delivery to the Oklahomans so that if they have any unsold cars, they just ship them to the dealers as new ones three years after the fact.

[J]

Alone. Express takes a long time.

[B]

It does. So you have a 3 lT14 Stingray?

[J]

Yes, sir.

[B]

And it's. What color is.

[J]

Is lime rock green? It's a one year color only.

[B]

Give me a hue. Hue. Is that. Is that dark green or is that light green or is it kind of pukey green?

[J]

It is a dark green. They name their colors after racetracks. Lime Rock, New York is a racetrack.

[B]

So would it be like back in the day hunter green, like on a Ford F series truck?

[J]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's or Polo. Remember the old vets in 96, they called them Polo green. Okay.

[J]

Anyway, it's darker than Polo green.

[B]

It's okay.

[F]

Closer.

[B]

Yeah, green is green. So is it. Is it convertible or.

[J]

It is a coupe.

[B]

Okay.

[J]

Is it a Kalahari interior?

[B]

Okay.

[J]

Lt free.

[B]

Automatic or stick?

[J]

It's automatic.

[B]

And chromes are. Does it have chrome wheels or the alloy? Without chrome.

[J]

It's got the alloy.

[B]

Okay. Average rough or clean?

[J]

It is like new. There's not a blemish on it.

[B]

But it does have 31,000 Oklahoma red dirt miles on it. Right.

[J]

Most of them are Texas. I belong to the North Texas Corvette Club.

[B]

Okay.

[J]

And we go down there every Friday.

[B]

All right, well, 36 grand. Buy it.

[J]

Pardon me?

[B]

Just 36 grand. Buy it.

[J]

No, sir. 38's the most I've been offered and I've been trying to get 39.

[B]

Well, gentlemen motors just came out with employee pricing for everything. So it's going to dump the price on everything. Go, go, go to give me the vin.com. we'll take a look. Load it up. Let me take another look. Maybe there's some options on here that I'm not getting. It'll help me give some more money. 800-800-radio. 800-800-7234. Or just go to givemetheven.com My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars on.

[A]

Givemethevin.com presents the John Clay Wolf Show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Give me the VIN dot. They've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Give me the VIN dot com.

[J]

You guys make me laugh every Saturday morning, man.

[C]

It's awesome.

[J]

Love listening to y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show, presented by gimmethevin.com.

[B]

Ross. Better. I love Hagar. He's done. He did great work. Those. Those albums are wonderful. If you're into Elton John, which I am. This is rock.

[C]

You know what the difference is to me, like I was 12 when this was big.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And when I was 17, it was Hagar.

[B]

Listen to the harmony in the backup with Michael AMC in just a minute, starting about. And then let's go through the chorus. Don't talk over the music, John. And they lost Michael Anthony on this last tour and they had to put in his kid and they lost that tone and it was everything. They should have brought in some chick to be a backup singer to fill in that octave.

[F]

Yeah, you're right.

[B]

That's all they had to do.

[C]

That's what Boston did.

[B]

That's all they had to do. That's what Boston did.

[C]

They did. They did.

[B]

So we've been working on new characters and stuff for the show. Bob. I wake up in the middle of night and things start coming to me from. From. From your Satan character. Actually, I hear him talking in my ear.

[C]

It's not good.

[B]

So what the idea was, I've got this buddy that always calls himself Dr. Cods.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

And I don't know if anybody. All right, Dr. Cod.

[G]

What's a cod?

[B]

A cod. Like Tarzan. He wore a cod sack.

[F]

A cod piece.

[B]

No, it's a little fish off the coast. Host of.

[F]

Well, that's that too. But it's. Yeah, it's part of the male Dr.

[B]

Cods is he's a fisherman.

[C]

The cons are informal vernacular for. For the tcs.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

Correct.

[B]

I don't know if I'd rather talk about that or listen to this. I like them both. Yeah. Cod piece. So then I heard, like JD's Casey Casem character, which we kind of killed off with the top 10 because we just ran out of bull with him. But I love the sound of him. So I thought, what if we had like a Dear Abby Marian Landers steal that Casey. Casey is reading. But it's Dr. Cods. And like the listeners write in. And listeners, we need your help on this. You need to go to the Facebook page John Clewel show and write these Dear Abby's. And then Jack JD can read him as Casey Casem. As doctor.

[F]

I like the long distance dedication, but it's life advice.

[B]

Do you have any intro music so we can do a dress rehearsal? I'm looking for some interest.

[F]

Rehearsal. We should do this maybe, I don't know, off the air.

[B]

Sometimes I think the list.

[F]

All the cool listeners are listening.

[B]

I would like it.

[F]

They get it. All right, we'll try one.

[E]

Just.

[B]

Do you got anything?

[F]

Let me look. Yeah, I do. I'll pull one out here. So Basically, this is Dr. Cod's, and he'll be bringing life advice. Kind of like Dear Abby. All right, so, you know, sometimes he'll say, good morning, John. How you doing?

[B]

Good morning, Casey. Dr. Cods. You're not Casey.

[F]

You're Dr. Dr. Cods.

[B]

Good morning, Doctor.

[F]

It takes Cods to make it through life. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

All right, well, this week we have a letter. And our letter comes from Shelly in Jacksboro. And she writes, Dear Dr. Cots, my sister Michelle thinks she's actually dating one of the guys in Kenny Chesney's band because every year when they come to Dallas Fort Worth, she hooks up with him. I told her she's a groupie, but she insists that it's oh, so much more. Can you straighten my little sister Michelle out? Dear slut sister Michelle, sorry for this honest kick in the cards, but if the only time you see a guy in a band is when he's asking you to play the flute and waiting for his record to shoot up the charts. Sweetie, you are a capital G. Groupie. Find yourself a good local band guy. He may be poor, but at least he keeps his cods at home. Keep. Until next time. Keep your feet in the ground and keep preaching for the Cods.

[B]

No, no, I think keep reaching for the Cods is too strong.

[F]

Too strong.

[B]

But everything else I loved. Okay, so we need our listeners.

[F]

That comes from a real story by. I dated a. I dated a girl one time whose sister thought she was dating Kenny Chesney. The real this is back before.

[B]

Like Kenny or one of his.

[F]

No, when he was actually. So she was sleeping before he was a star. Before, when he would Do Billy Bob's Kenny got around. Yes. Oh, God, did he ever. We're dating. This is. This is the girl I was dating.

[B]

Sister before Facebook. So nobody can straight.

[F]

Nobody knew it. And I kept telling her, sweetie, you're a groupie. He calls me every time he comes to town.

[B]

I bet he does because.

[F]

You bet he does because you play his flute. Anyway, that was it. That's the whole story.

[C]

Like Jethro told plays the flute, Basically.

[F]

Yes, exactly. Yes.

[B]

Like the Pied Piper in the beginning of that Beastie Boy show.

[F]

She was so angry at me because I called her baby. He only calls you when he comes.

[B]

To town, Dr. Cod. So if you guys. We need your help writing some of this stuff, so go to the John Clay Wolf show Facebook page and ask Dr. Cod some questions.

[F]

Ask Dr. Cod.

[B]

And we'll work through it and see how it goes.

[C]

And now another episode of Dear Dr. Kaz.

[F]

And she writes Dear Dr. Cos what's in the news?

[B]

JD Casey.

[F]

Ellen DeGeneres was. I can't get out of the Casey voice. Ellen DeGeneres was chastised this week. I don't know if you saw this picture tweeting a picture of herself staring longingly at Katy Perry's breasts.

[B]

I saw that.

[F]

They said if anybody. If a man had done that, oh, Lord, it would have been a big mess. And they said, apparently she gets away. But apparently it's no longer politically correct for women, one woman to look longingly at another woman's breasts. In a related story, Hugh Hefner is still dead.

[B]

The Katy Perry may have the best chest on the market, but had a.

[F]

Guy been doing that, it would have been.

[B]

What if it was Kevin Spacey, since he's gay.

[F]

There you go.

[B]

But what if she would have been 13? Can you believe a lot of what ifs in all this?

[F]

They're canceling and they're. They're supposedly canceling House of Cards because of this. And they're.

[B]

That's bull.

[F]

And they've asked.

[C]

I agree.

[F]

And they've asked not to be at the set. I think. Honestly, I think it's all a publicity thing. I don't think him getting in trouble is. But I think they saw this as an opportunity to go. We were going to pull the plug anyway.

[B]

So what they're discovering is that powerful people are using their power to influence sexual relations. Unbelievable ever happened in the history of mankind except in the beginning, like George Washington days. I think that's when it began. Mount Vernon was the first set of a situation like this.

[C]

Seriously, Ben Franklin, Man, Ben Franklin.

[B]

What do you think he was flying that kite for? He was trying to impress his guy.

[F]

My question is, why now? Why? Well, Harvey Weinstein, obviously, he's a horrible human.

[C]

He's a horn dog.

[F]

But there are us.

[B]

And I mean, he's powerful.

[F]

The other people.

[B]

Jfk.

[F]

Oh, please. Exactly.

[B]

Maybe that's why he got shot. Because it was a man. Woman. Here we go. Conspiracy theory. See, this is the part of the document release that they're not going to let out.

[F]

You and the earth.

[B]

They're trying to protect his family because he was such a horn dog. There's nothing. No. What is it? Hell. Wrath of a woman Scorn.

[F]

Hell hath no fury as a woman scorn.

[B]

And that is what happened. Lee Harvey Oswald was not himself. He was a woman that's pissed off because he told her that he was going to leave Jackie Leanne. Make her Leanne Oswald, that hot Russian mail order brother. And he told her he was gonna make her the first lady. And he never made good on it. So she dressed up as a man and she sat up in the book suppository building and shot him.

[F]

It's Happened depository.

[B]

But okay.

[C]

I always thought, like, Joe DiMaggio probably had something to do with.

[B]

There's always. There's songs about shot him. Didn't Jimi Hendrix have a story similar to this? Hey, Joe, where are you going with that gun in your hand?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that was about Joe the Magic.

[B]

I'm going down to the river to shoot my old lady. I saw her in bed with another man that Marilyn.

[C]

He was married to Marilyn, you know, right there.

[B]

Tells you the whole story of the JFK deal.

[F]

And that's probably. Yeah, hiding. Hiding in plain sight. All right. Elsewhere, the owners of Doty's Place Cajun Bar and Grill in Allen, Texas, they're being called transphobic for photos covering their bathroom doors. You ready for this? The women's bathroom shows a photo of Caitlyn Jenner. And the men's room. That's right, the Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner. And people are in Upper Arm Roar because they're using the two pictures. They also have a third bathroom some folks don't know about. It's a picture of Michael Jackson. For those who don't know who the.

[B]

Hell they are, Rush Limbaugh. What do you think about transgender bathrooms?

[C]

I think it's great, John.

[J]

Why?

[C]

Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go. You know. Of course they go. They're human beings, just like you and me. Just because they're A little maybe confused identity wise. You don't see people hang around in the bathroom, you know, no swapping business cards and you know, maybe play some twisters. Just the bathroom?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You know, and ladies restrooms. Pardon me. What? I, I, I was stuck in one once.

[F]

How did you. Never mind.

[B]

We'll be back.

[C]

They're a lot nicer than ours. All doors are a big development and.

[F]

They have a couch.

[C]

What could possibly go wrong?

[B]

We'll be back in a minute.

[A]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by. Give me the Vinda.

[I]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number. No sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your [e-mail] if they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeTheEven.com They've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemethevin.com.

[B]

There are stars in the southern sky Southward as you go. There is moonlight and moss in the trees down the seven bridges Ro, Who's going to win the football games today? Charlie?

[G]

TC versus Texas.

[B]

Good game.

[G]

TC's favorite by six and a half. I think TC will win. It's gonna be close, like 17 to 10.

[B]

What about LSU? Do you know who they got?

[G]

Yeah, they're playing Alabama. Hey, Alabama's favored by 21.

[B]

Where?

[G]

It's in Alabama in Tuscaloosa.

[B]

What is our. Have you done the tally on our bed?

[G]

I mean we're sweet. The last time we did we were up 35 bucks. We just had done in a while.

[B]

Okay. Do you want to bet at all on this Alabama line?

[G]

21, I think is too much. What do you think?

[B]

I do too. Do you want to bet $35? So you owe me 35 right now. So let's bet $35 on the Alabama LSU game and then we move that line. So the line is 21, correct?

[G]

Correct.

[B]

So I pick a line and you high low it, Right? That's whoever picks the new line. The other guy has the option. I'm gonna go. I like lsu, but you know what I mean, this is just, this is an undecent indecent proposal. I'm gonna go 18.

[G]

18. I'm take a low.

[B]

You gotta take the low of the 18. So if Alabama wins by 18 or more, I win $35. If Alabama wins by less than 18, you win $35. If LSU wins, then I pay you $5 extra because you just want to. I want LSU to win. I'd love for LSU to win. I'd love FOR LSU to beat Bam. And screw up this dynasty crap that they've got rolling. And the way that these one lost teams are affected in the rankings, I mean, they like come tumbling down the stairs from the top of heaven. Yeah, it's. How can you go from like number three to number 11 because of one loss? It happens. 800.

[G]

Went to eight. Yeah, it's not good either.

[B]

But there's. What? Clemson. What'd they do?

[G]

Well, they're up to four.

[B]

Oh, they worked their way back up. Have you noticed it like matters when in this game, in this whole charade, you lose that one game?

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You have to fall like all the way to the bottom like a drunken uncle of the state. Like aunt money fell down the stairs.

[G]

Well, that's why if Alabama loses now, they can still get back.

[B]

Absolutely. Absolutely. If Alabama lost tonight or today's at a night or day game, it's a night. If they lose tonight, where do you think they would land? I think they'd only go down to five. I don't think they would get punished as bad as other teams that have a loss somewhere in there.

[G]

Five or six, because they're two, they'll drop out of the top.

[B]

Top four, right?

[C]

Barely.

[B]

For about 30 minutes. Yeah.

[G]

But then it matters. I mean, if somebody else loses in the top four, which I don't, there's really no big games.

[B]

Hey, I was looking in other news and this is kind of in between us, but it's late in the show and this has been bothering me because I just looked at something on the computer. So we buy a car, right? We buy a Ford Edge. Give me the vin.com. we buy a Ford Edge from a listener and it's an SEL. It's like a.08 SEL. SE in the Ford Edge world means leather and roof. In most cases. This car is cloth and no roof. So our system bid it high anyway. The customer put in 15,000 miles.

[F]

15,000.

[B]

So our system bid it at 9,500.

[F]

Makes sense.

[B]

Okay. And then we buy the car. Cloth, no roof. 9,500.

[E]

All right.

[C]

Sounds good.

[B]

But it's got great miles.

[F]

Yeah, it does.

[B]

And then I'm going to sell it to a person that I do a lot of business with. This dealer group that buys tons of cars and Packages. And I'm pricing these cars.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

And I tell him 10 grand on this. When I saw it on the list, I first said, why is this car going to them? It's too high for them. It's not. They're like $6,500.

[F]

Okay, gotcha.

[B]

Okay. And I look it up in our computer and I realize we have $10,000 in it after expenses.

[F]

After you pay all the. Yeah. Transport and all the other.

[B]

And I'm telling the guy, my, wait, this is screwed up. This only has 15,000 miles on it. So I start digging through the file, and the customer submitted it with 15,000 miles, but in reality, it's got 115,000 miles. But we went ahead and paid them anyway.

[F]

The customers.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz we're just goofy like that. What? I. I hear you. You know, the average MMR on this car is $6,400 and we give the guy $9,500. And I start looking through the file and there's no odometer picture.

[F]

Oh, well, that's.

[B]

That's. That has to happen.

[F]

You have to add that so that.

[B]

People can lose their jobs or their life.

[F]

Well, I mean, that's part of the business. You have to have the odometer picture.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. I thought you were trying to say that has to happen. That has to happen to you so.

[F]

You can straighten out your proper picture for it to go through.

[B]

Mike, you. You work heavily. You're a manager. You, You. How did this happen?

[G]

Well, we've been really, really busy, John.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

And this is a case where. Where somebody's just trying to speed through the process where there was a picture with the odometer showing 115,000 miles.

[B]

There was. There was.

[G]

The buyer just gave it to the manager. Manager didn't look at it, didn't think twice.

[B]

But nobody flagged up. Man, that's really low miles on a 09 Ford Edge.

[G]

Right.

[B]

The average miles on that car is like 140.

[F]

Right.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

Went from the manager. He. He just handed into our logistics department. They thought nothing of it either. And the check got to the. The owner and man, he's like, they paid the hell a lot of money for this car with 115,000 miles.

[F]

Do you think the guys did it on purpose or was it an accident?

[G]

No, it was total accident. Literally, they were just speeding through because.

[B]

Should we call the customer and ask them if they'll send us some money back knowing there was a mistake?

[G]

Yeah, I mean, but even they signed. They did sign. The only Thing it was signed on there was where the agreement showing 115, 000 miles at the end of the deal.

[B]

So we KNEW it had 115 on it. Yes.

[G]

Well, one person did logistics at the end, I think. I think the buyer also knew.

[F]

People look at those papers before they go.

[B]

I'm charging the buyer back. Yeah, I'm not gonna charge him back one. I'm gonna charge them back triple. And I've.

[G]

I. I knew this was coming at some point anyway because I warned you knew it happened.

[B]

Why did you y' all stick me in front of my guys and embarrass me when I'm pricing this car for ten grand? They look at me like, stupid.

[G]

Okay. So I saw it run through the auction. I was like, damn, that's expensive for 115,000 miles. I'm like, did I buy that, Man? I hope not. I'm looking through. I was like, okay. I didn't.

[B]

But on my list, Mike, it said 15.

[G]

Well, but at the auction, it had 115. So that's when I started, like, something's wrong here.

[B]

Well, I thought it was mismarked.

[G]

Yeah. And it wasn't mismarked. And so I brought. Brought up to manager, like, look, here's what happened. You got to talk to the spire. Because he gave it to you with 15,000. You just bid it as 15,000. But it had 115,000 miles on it. I mean, there's a lot of places.

[B]

Where it could have got.

[G]

And because going too fast, there's three.

[B]

Places that should have checked up on this. We have three guards on that gate, and all three of them were high as hell. All three of them were stoned. Just.

[F]

Just busy. Just let it go.

[G]

Busy. Literally. That's all it was. Yeah, maybe one of them was a.

[B]

Now, we had experience. We had this FJ Cruiser the other day that we bought for 10 grand. And then we go over, he sends us more pictures, and we're like, whoa, it's got damage on it. So we cut it back 2000. He agrees, Everything's cool.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

So we go from 10 to 8. We're going to get it. And logistics didn't catch the memo, and they wrote him a check for 10. So they give him a check for 10. And we call him. He's like, hey, I'm getting on an airplane. I gotta go. Bye.

[G]

This is pretty. I mean, yes, logistics wrote the wrong check, but this customer knew he was. He was supposed to get a cheaper check.

[B]

He knew. So if we did something like that, you know what they would do to us online? They would call the Dallas Morning News.

[F]

Be a thief. Yeah, you'd be a horrible.

[B]

Oh, I'd be a horrible person.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I think we ought to. I think we ought to put these people on the radio and shame them.

[F]

Just call them out of the blue. Yeah.

[B]

Hey, good morning. It's like. Like the Bow and Jim Wake up Call.

[G]

Wake up, thief.

[F]

Hey, Wake up, thief. Call.

[B]

Hey, this is Joe with the FBI. We've been working on this case from GiveMeThe Vin.com and we realized you fictitiously presented your car accident.

[F]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

I need to get a lawyer. Well, that's no problem. We've got one right here on the phone with us for you, Bob.

[G]

You're not a bad idea, but, man, I could see a lot of trouble in that, too, though.

[B]

Anyway, on the deal, on the bottom of our form, it says so clearly, we're honest with you. Be honest with us.

[F]

Right. Didn't work out that time.

[B]

It works out a lot. It works. People are good, man. Most of the time our listeners are good, right? They tell us things. Hey, man, we didn't tell you about this. We didn't tell you about that. I mean, we do business with people sight unseen, like. Like their friends or family. And I don't mean in laws. No, I mean like real family.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And because in laws would lie a.

[F]

Heartbeat in your family.

[B]

In my family, yeah. I'm just saying their check wouldn't clear. Wow. Hey.

[F]

Oh, the day John's getting punchy.

[B]

I don't know, Bob. What do you think? On a level of stupidity from 1 to 10, what would you call.

[C]

Man, there ain't nothing like coordination and lack of communication will kill it.

[B]

Every time we had to blast one girl, that was in logistics this week.

[C]

Did you really?

[B]

And I blasted her before. We've never fought, we never fired.

[C]

Like with a Han Solo Blaster.

[B]

Yeah, Solo Blaster. Yeah. We had to cut her. And then later in that day is when I found out that what had happened. And then she called me, like, arguing about why she got let go. And I said, it's funny you just called right now, because I just found out that you did this.

[E]

So.

[B]

Actually, had I known about that, when Turley found out about it, we would have blasted her then. I just. There's just a lot of money changing hands.

[C]

There's this lack of attention to detail. You're saying there's a lot of money.

[F]

100,000 miles. That's a big Deal.

[B]

People go to jail for stealing 1200 from a 7 11. Seriously? Seriously. Why would we get robbed for 2 G's or 4 G's in the case of this deal that we can't even talk to them about it. When we call the people back, they start yelling at us like we did something wrong.

[C]

Well, you did. You overpaid them. Right?

[F]

You bastards.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Not much to like about it.

[B]

They really do go to jail for stealing that much?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

You pulled that from a 7 11, you go to jail. Yeah.

[B]

Is there any law and like document error gotta be.

[F]

Gotta be fraudulent. Yeah, there's.

[B]

We've been doing this for years without a problem and all of a sudden we're having some fraud problems. Do we need to bring in like Wilford Brumley to sit in the corner?

[E]

Diabetes.

[B]

I'm getting paid to be suspicious of things, but there's no thing to be suspicious. I'm the firm. Right when he was right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Lombardi Lock. I don't know. You know, we've had no lawsuits and all this ever, ever, ever. Knock on wood.

[F]

Unbelievable.

[B]

In the car business. And our rating online is a 98% positive.

[C]

The rate.

[B]

Do you know what it's in four different forms.

[F]

Unheard of. You couldn't get that at a bakery.

[B]

No, you couldn't get that at a Bakery. Out of 500 reviews online, we have like eight negative. Yeah. And you know what those are? They didn't offer me enough. Yeah, well, they didn't buy my car.

[G]

Because the engine was knocking.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. They came to pick it up and they said the motor was knocking.

[C]

They said the Nash Rambler was out, out of style.

[B]

Bastards. All right, everybody. We've enjoyed it. For everybody that's been a part of this one, my name is John Clay Wolf. Michael Turley on the board, Bobo on the voice machine. JD Ryan as Casey Kum and me as high pitch Eric. We will see you next Saturday as the Beaver. I'm out. Back to the money. Time is money.

[F]

Let's get.