#128 John Clay Wolfe Show 12/23/17

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #128 (12/23/17)

Air Date: February 13, 2026
Podcast Theme: Fast-talking, irreverent, and frequently hilarious, John Clay Wolfe and his crew juggle car business calls, wild anecdotes, classic rock commentary, pop culture rants, and Christmas spirit, all with a Texas attitude and plenty of sharp banter.

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Episode Overview

This episode brings listeners a full-throttle mix of car talk, bizarre holiday news, musical nostalgia, raucous humor, and lively crew banter. Centered around John Clay Wolfe’s legendary “buy your car on the radio” format, episode #128 captures the holiday flavor with offbeat discussions about Christmas music, high school football, wild local news, the economics of car trading, drugs, rock legends, and even “Cluck Norris,” a rooster turned mascot/security detail. With running jokes about sexual harassment in rock, secret Santa office drama, and rumors of three-titty trends on the horizon, listeners get both practical advice and absurd laughs.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. 80s Rock, Gender Benders, and FCC Boundaries

[00:19 - 07:55]

• The crew debates rock stars whose flamboyant looks could be read as "transgender" by today's standards (John Waite, Rod Stewart, David Bowie, Billy Idol, Rob Halford).
  • Memorable Quote:
    “All the British seemed a little… light in the office.” – Turley [01:25]
• Tongue-in-cheek discussion about how rock’s androgyny confounded people in the late 70s/80s.
• Quick car appraisal sidetrack: a listener tries to sell a "loser blue" Nissan Titan.

2. The Car Business—Reality vs. Cheerleaders

[03:06 - 04:59]

• John walks a seller through the emotional process of letting go of a truck.
• Buyers and sellers both "tire kick," likened to reverse negotiations.
  • Quote:
    “There's a difference between a cheerleader and a check writer. And GiveMeTheVIN is a check writer. All that opinion is cheerleader.” – John Clay Wolfe [04:34]

3. Rock & Roll, Sexuality, and Holiday Hijinks

[05:08 - 14:11]

• Satirical banter about sexuality in rock: Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, Kiss, and others.
• News riff: Gene Simmons banned from Fox News for an alleged incident.
• Debating Billy Idol’s sexuality, lampooning tabloid rumors.
• Transition to talk about comedic Christmas songs, focusing on Bob Rivers' "I Am Santa Claus" and parody content.
  • Randy the Squirrel’s Lament:
    “Somebody ought to call the ASPCA. Son of a bitches.” [15:53]

4. Car Calls & Oddball Color Opinions

[08:16 - 14:44]

• Live buy offers on a 2012 F250 ("Hunter green and beige—hard to find, $28,000 offer") and a pristine 2006 Monte Carlo.
• John gently explains buying realities versus sentimental expectations and tools like GiveMeTheVIN’s new web interface.

5. Christmas Music, Parodies, and Animal Rants

[13:31 - 16:13]

• Raucous parody of “Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire” launches Randy the Squirrel on a defensive animal kingdom tirade.
  • Quote:
    “In the animal world, they don’t act like that. I like to eat a June bug. But I don’t dig the guts out and hang him on the damn wall.” – Randy the Squirrel [15:41]

6. Holiday Office Life & Secret Santa

[27:01 - 29:15]

• Discussion of the give-and-take of Secret Santa, workplace flirtation, and #MeToo jokes.
• “You can’t even look at women at work anymore!” – playful ribbing about shifting office culture.

7. Auction Chaos & Smoking BMWs

[29:24 - 41:05]

• Hilarious retelling of a BMW X5 that smoked up the Dallas Auto Auction.
  • Norman:
    “It was smoking so bad… it was more like, 'we need to protect ourselves and not die' than to be mad.” [39:55]
• Auction tips: Only dealers can buy directly, simulcast streaming explained.

8. Pop Culture: Rush Limbaugh, Taxes, and Drinking as Healthcare

[31:37 - 35:36]

• Parody “Rush Limbaugh” skewers current events, tax plan advantages, and self-medicating with whisky.
  • Quote:
    “Every family should be issued a 5th of Johnny Walker Black Label and a coupon for NyQuil.” – Turley as Rush [35:35]

9. Drugs, Dope Reports, & the Legalization Backlash

[41:53 - 44:08]

• Bob Floyd details “looping”—Colorado dispensaries illegally overselling weed by the pound.
• How to play it smart in illegal states: Don’t carry your own volume, hire a 'lackey.' [43:24]

10. News of the Weird & Sports

[44:45 - 47:46]

• 80-year-old couple busted with 60 pounds of grass.
• Six-year-old girl bags a deer under new Wisconsin hunting law (“Lexi’s first kill was a two-year-old red-nosed deer named Rudolph.” – JD Ryan [45:09])
• Local high school football lore: Jerry Jones’ grandson leads Highland Park to Texas state championship.
  • Quote:
    “Can you imagine…your granddad owns the Dallas Cowboys, your dad’s basically the manager, and you’re the quarterback for the #1 team in the state in your dad’s coliseum?” – John Clay Wolfe [49:06]

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Noteworthy Segments & Quotes with Timestamps

| Timestamp | Content | Speaker/Note | |:---:|-----------------|------------------| | 01:25 | “All the British seemed a little… light in the office.” | Turley, joking about glam rockers | | 04:34 | “There's a difference between a cheerleader and a check writer. And GiveMeTheVIN is a check writer.” | John Clay Wolfe—analogy for car price guides vs. buyers | | 15:41 | “But I don’t… dig the guts out and hang him on the damn wall.” | Randy the Squirrel on animal song parodies | | 27:14 | “You go in that office… if you fall off that ladder, you’re fired before you hit the ground.” | John Clay Wolfe, on Texas workplace rules | | 39:55 | “You know, there’s things that are so bad you don’t even get mad…it was more like, we need to protect ourselves and not die.” | John Clay Wolfe, on the smoking BMW at auction | | 35:35 | “Every family should be issued a 5th of Johnny Walker Black Label and a coupon for NyQuil.” | Turley (as Rush) on ‘health care’ | | 43:24 | “Don’t ever carry volume yourself. Hire a lackey… And don’t buy your volume in broad daylight in Colorado.” | Bob Floyd’s dope report | | 49:06 | “Can you imagine…your granddad owns the Dallas Cowboys… and you’re the quarterback for the #1 team in the state in your dad’s coliseum?” | John Clay Wolfe on nepotism, football, and pressure |

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Memorable Characters & Bits

• Randy the Squirrel: Outraged by Christmas song parodies, animal rights for chipmunks, and all things “not cool.”
• Cluck Norris: The infamous rooster rescued from Fort Worth, now “protection” for the staff and full character with prison-story swagger.
  • “Soon as I got a chance, I got a hold of one of them Doberman pinchers… put my spur up in his earhole and took off so much hide off the back of his head as I could pull away.” [58:01]
• Rush Limbaugh Parody: Satirical take on tax reform, liberal conspiracy, and whiskey as medicine.
• Norman: Auction inventory manager recounts the epic smoking BMW disaster.

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Christmas & Religion Riffs

[63:00 - 70:10]

• “Meliki Maka” is the Hawaiian word for Christmas; crew reminisces about holiday traditions.
• A slightly irreverent but heartfelt discussion on the roots of Christianity, Jesus’ Jewish identity, religious traditions, and the origin of Santa Claus.
  • “If Jesus was Jewish, why is everyone that praises Jesus not Jewish?” – John Clay Wolfe [66:03]
  • “Let there be love. Let there be light.” – Turley, distilling the ‘game-changer’ of Jesus’ teachings [67:32]
  • “Can we not all get along?” – The crew’s closing Christmas wish [70:10]

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Classic Calls: Car Deals and Everyday Stories

• Multiple segments feature real callers:
  • Car value haggling (“loser blue”, rare Monte Carlo, heavily-used Mercury Mountaineer, 2013 Camaro ZL1).
  • Mail carriers discuss buying their own right-hand-drive Jeeps.
  • Heartfelt and funny exchanges about insurance, sentimental value, and regional differences.

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Off-The-Cuff & After Hours

[116:46 – End]

• Post-show “off-air” chatter for the podcast audience full of wild character riffs (Stephen Hawking, Bart the Donkey), jokes about strip club “buyers,” neurotic staff, and encountering plastic surgery and three-titty futures.
  • Quote:
    “Why can’t you put a third one on a good-looking woman? Three titties.” – Bobbo [128:29]
• The gang fantasies about “3 Titties” becoming a California trend and possible business model.

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Holiday Movie & Music Favorites

• The gang debates the greatest Christmas movies (Polar Express, Elf, Die Hard as a Christmas movie) and holiday music.
  • “When Stanley Kubrick make a film, every inch of the film was not wasted.” – Cluck Norris on Eyes Wide Shut [75:06]
  • Die Hard’s status as a Christmas film? “He got his shoes off and walking on broken glass… Yippee K—I know the rest.” [75:44]
• Sharing sentimental traditions; Cluck Norris loves “The Godfather” at Christmas.

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Conclusion: Heartfelt & Hilarious

John sums up his busy year, the changing business, being a good dad, and how his whiteboard vision from 1996 became today's reality.

• “There’s a lot of amazing stories. I’m not trying to discount it… I’ve heard that story enough now.” – Reflection on personal and listener journeys [86:24]

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Final Takeaways

• Show Tone: Irreverent, honest, Texan, laced with both empathy and absurdity.
• If You Missed It: - You learned the weird economics of car color, - Heard a Squirrel and Rooster debate Christmas food, - Learned tax and weed advice you’ll probably never use, - And got a dose of “holiday spirit” you’ll never forget.

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LISTENER’S GUIDE TO HIGHLIGHTS

• Hilarious banter on the glam & sexuality of classic rock: [00:22 – 07:50]
• Real world car-buying wisdom (and comedy): [03:06 – 04:59]
• Randy the Squirrel’s Christmas rant: [14:42 – 16:13]
• Smoking BMW auction catastrophe: [38:00 – 41:05]
• Norman and Bob Floyd’s stoner wisdom: [41:53 – 44:08]
• Sports: Jerry Jones’ grandson’s Texas football journey: [48:00 – 51:27]
• Christmas theology & origins debate: [64:06 – 70:10]
• Cluck Norris’ prison story (for laughs): [58:01 – 59:12]
• Behind-the-scenes workplace comedy: [27:17 – 29:15]
• Off-air “three-titty” brainstorm: [128:18–131:14]

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“My name is John Clay Wolfe and I buy cars on the radio…” Merry Christmas, y’all.

Transcript

[John Clay Wolfe]

Foreign.

[Bobbo]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethevin.com.

[Turley]

Turn up a little bit.

[John Clay Wolfe]

This. What? When was this out? Bob the babies. 79. Was John Waite transgender man?

[Turley]

He sure looked like it back then, didn't he? I don't think so, but. I don't know.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He sings well, he does.

[Turley]

That's that era right after disco when rock and roll had been gone for a while and all you really had was Van Halen and Journey and Pink Floyd didn't do anything after the Wall until, like, you know, for a long time.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Who are front men from the 80s that could be transgender just by their look, Just. Just off. Off the cuff.

[Turley]

Well, he's from the 70s, but, you know, Rod Stewart always kind of had that bit of that Persona.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobbo]

Well, David Bowie when he was alive.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, I think he was. He. You know John White, the guy from Flock of Seagulls.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Well, that's 80s Billy Idol.

[Bobbo]

Yes, I think so. Really?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Really? Yeah.

[Turley]

You think?

[Bobbo]

Yeah, just really look at him, Bobbo.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, but he's British.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

All the British seemed a little.

[Randy the Squirrel]

They seem a bit. Okay, a little light in the office.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Derek and Spring. Good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Morning.

[John Clay Wolfe]

A 10 Nissan Titan with 52, 000 miles. Is it a. Is it a four door or extended cab?

[Caller/Guest]

Extended cab.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay. It's extended cab, not a crew cab. And is it a. Which model? Is it a Pro4X, an SC or an XC?

[Caller/Guest]

I believe it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's an SE and it's got 50, 000 miles.

[Caller/Guest]

52,000. Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What color.

[Caller/Guest]

It is? Navy blue.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Loser blue, however, I like. Yeah, we call it loser blue. It's just that the. That color car sells for less than white cars, black cars, red cars.

[Turley]

I don't know.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Especially in luxury cars.

[Caller/Guest]

You can paint it whatever color you want.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You get into. You get into luxury cars and the bruise colors, the navy blues and the maroons.

[JD Ryan]

Not good.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Big difference. Anyway, well, 10 grand. Buy it.

[Caller/Guest]

10 grand.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He's wanting to. Hang on. I think he's wanting to sell it to me, but he's still pissed off that I called his truck loser blue.

[JD Ryan]

Right, right. He's hurt.

[Caller/Guest]

Maybe 12.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Maybe 12. Okay, well, let me start. I love that color truck. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So. So pretty. What about 10? 5? Do you want to sell it? Do you want to sell it?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I'm not in a rush to sell it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I didn't ask if you're in a rush. Do you want to sell it. I know my listeners and customers are not desperate. We are not a pawn shop. This is not cash for titles. This isn't half. Half price offers. We pay the right money for the rigs. But Mike, do you want to sell it? Are you in a mode where you want. If I bought it, do you have something else to drive?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Do you have a title?

[Caller/Guest]

I do.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, so would you rather have the truck in your driveway or would you rather have a check in your hand for a price that you think is fair?

[Caller/Guest]

Probably I'd rather have the truck in my driveway.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, then you don't want to sell it by 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[JD Ryan]

Easy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I may love him. He'll call back when he's ready to sell it.

[JD Ryan]

Ready to sell it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right, right.

[JD Ryan]

It just tick tar kicking.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, it's reverse tire kicking. You know, people are out tire kicking to buy stuff.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But they do the same thing on the sell side. Buying cars off the public is a pain in the ass, let me tell you. Oh, because they're the. The. The same thing that people have to go through the salesman when they're selling them cars, we have to go through that same thing buying them with them because they're very. Their mind's not made up. They're going through a process. They're bouncing around.

[JD Ryan]

Sometimes you get them in there ready.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, but that's after they've gone through the process. They got to talk to the in laws and the neighbors. And, you know, it's always. Well, my neighbor said, you know, 15 grand.

[Bobbo]

I know it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But. But he's. He's a cheerleader, man. I mean, right?

[JD Ryan]

He's trying to get you. He has to see you tomorrow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We don't nada book in Kelly blue book are cheerleaders. Basically, there's a difference between a cheerleader and a check writer. And give me the vin is a check writer and all that opinion is cheerleader.

[JD Ryan]

That's the biggest problem. People say, well, Kelly blue book or.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Blah, blah, blah, we're gonna win. Get that first down. Go, go get him, get him. Go, go get him. Get him. Yeah, but you lost.

[JD Ryan]

Sorry.

[John Clay Wolfe]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio man.

[Turley]

I don't think there's anything.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Randy. There's Randy. Oh, here he is. You don't think there's anything wrong.

[Turley]

I don't think there's anything soft about Billy Idol at all, man. Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I kind of agree with you.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Who Said that. Turley, what's wrong with you, man?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Man, I think he was Billy Idol.

[Randy the Squirrel]

It's in the eyes. He's all mad eyes without a face. Such a human way. He look everything he does. You see his videos on mtv.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Remember Rock Cradle?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Looks like he's fixing to kick your ass.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, but you know, always has hot chicks.

[Randy the Squirrel]

We could not stay for a white wedding.

[JD Ryan]

I know.

[Randy the Squirrel]

He looks like a mean.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Some bitch rides a motorcycle.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Hell yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But the guy from Judas Priest, Rob Halford is. Is a homosexual.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Well, I mean, everybody knew about Rob Halford. But you know, you only have to have so many skulls and leather on a stage. Anything, you know, when it. When it transcends the theme. That's gay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

When it transcends to what?

[Caller/Guest]

The theme.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The theme. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Like.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Okay, you got the guy from Cheap Trick. Guitar Guy. Yeah, he got skull ring.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Randy the Squirrel]

It's enough.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That's enough.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Robert Halpert's got skulls hanging off the curtains and in front of the stage spotlight looks like a skull.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, what about Maiden?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Eddie with his giant arms. Come here comes my giant zombie. That's gay and not there's anything wrong with that. Even in Colorado.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So what about Kiss? Yay. Oh, stop.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Unless you're eight years old. If you're eight years old, you can't help it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Of course, Gene Simmons was in the national news last week and being sued for sexual harassment.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Of a man.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Nope, of a woman. Got banned from the Fox News Broadcasting Network for life. From walking in. From walking into a conference room about three weeks ago and asking a woman. Taking his shirt off and asking a woman to do the same with it for her.

[JD Ryan]

I just googled Billy Idol, so I.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Don'T know about your theory.

[JD Ryan]

Billy Idol, gay or not, this is what pops up. Billy Idol, basically a straight hound. But once he was seen in bed having sex with a man.

[Caller/Guest]

What? Right.

[JD Ryan]

I'm just reading Unwik a Peyton. No, no, this is actually.

[Randy the Squirrel]

No, here's my thing about kid.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is it a newsworthy? I mean anybody?

[JD Ryan]

It's a list of. Yeah, it's a list of stars who you question and then why this guy's opinion, why they are or not.

[Randy the Squirrel]

You know, I think Gene Simmons thing is.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Cause he's always all about it. He's like, girls, girls, girls, girls. I think it's a front, you know?

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think you're wrong. Randy, what have you got, bud?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Well, that's all I got. I was talking about rock and roll. Christmas time rock. Is he. You like the Christmas songs? Like the Funny Christmas song, right? Like that reindeer song, Right? This guy's from Tyler, ain't he?

[JD Ryan]

Grandma got run over. Actually lives in Dallas. I interviewed Randy Brown.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hey, Randy. I gotta grab a couple calls. Hang tight. What for? I want you to come back in a minute. You need to cool off.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Damn it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You need to cool off. You're just a little rough this morning.

[Randy the Squirrel]

I might eat a nut.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Luke. 2012 F250 with 100 leather, Nav Diesel.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Baton Rouge. 100K even. What color.

[Caller/Guest]

Is a hunter green and beige.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I like that color. There's not many of those left. Is it $28,000.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm sorry?

[John Clay Wolfe]

$28,000.

[Caller/Guest]

28,000.

[John Clay Wolfe]

A 2012 F250. 100,000 miles, no sunroof, leather, nav diesel.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I'll give 28,000.

[Caller/Guest]

That's a tough one.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You sound like you're straining on a hemorrhoid. What's the problem here? Do you have a big payoff?

[Caller/Guest]

No, it's paid off.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I mean, it's got 100 on. It doesn't have 70. It's got 100. Has it crossed 100 yet? If it hasn't crossed 100, I'll give another thousand.

[Caller/Guest]

No, it's crossed 100.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Like, how far past 100?

[Caller/Guest]

Like 101, man.

[JD Ryan]

But it's.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That was a dollar a mile, buddy. So why do you not think that that's a good price? Because you got a hundred thousand mile truck that somebody's offering you to write a check for $28,000.

[Caller/Guest]

It's a debate because when I sell it to you, I have to go out and buy another vehicle right then and there.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right. So you're not ready to sell it yet. You're just trying to figure it out?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I'm trying to get. Yeah, trying to figure it out. Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, you're in Baton Rouge. What do you want to buy?

[Caller/Guest]

Sorry?

[John Clay Wolfe]

What do you want to buy? What are you gonna buy?

[Caller/Guest]

I think it gone to an F150FX4.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, go to givemetheven.com, load this thing up and tell them to say John's got. John said he's got a dealer friend down here and I can get you special price on a new one. And I do have a dealer friend down there. Oh, all right. Thanks. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. And this is a weird one. Laura, good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, good morning, sir.

[John Clay Wolfe]

How long have you been tuned in?

[Caller/Guest]

I tune into y' all every Saturday when I'm running around playing between Houston and Alvin.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Have we offended you this morning in any way, shape or form? Ma', am.

[Caller/Guest]

I am fixing to go remodeled an apartment.

[Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Have we offended you this morning in any way, shape or form?

[Caller/Guest]

Of course not. Y' all are funny.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, good.

[Caller/Guest]

Y' all are very amusing. You make me laugh.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And she's a female.

[JD Ryan]

And she's a female.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If you were a black female, it'd be better.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, good Lord.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, no, no, no. It would. It would.

[Bobbo]

He's a Texan.

[Turley]

He's the accidental racist.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, it's not being racist. I love my black female listeners because they are the coolest. They're the cool. Now they're the coolest. Laura, you're pretty cool, but they're cooler. 06 Monte Carlo. Does it really have 19,000 miles on it?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, absolutely. She has been garage.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Was it your mother in law's or something?

[Caller/Guest]

No, mother in law. It was actually my mother's.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay. I'm trying to think of the body style in 07. I think is when they switched it.

[Caller/Guest]

She's.

[JD Ryan]

Well, you're.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, she's 06. What I call the low profile. You know, with the. With the wide windshield in the back, so it's kind of swooped. It's a real pretty body style.

[John Clay Wolfe]

They made a pace car that looked like that, too. Let me see. J.D. you got a picture of one?

[Caller/Guest]

They sure did.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, now I know what it is. Now, is it an SS or just an LT?

[Caller/Guest]

No, it's just the LT. With 19,000.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Miles and 06, it's got to be worth four or five. $5,000. Okay, go to givemetheven.com. load it up. Let's take a look. I've never bought an 06 Monte Carlo with 19,000 miles, but I know that I'll give all the damn money for it. I don't want to lose on it, but I want to own it.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, gotcha. Well, I'll put it this way. I'll. I'll take a picture, you know, the odometer, and figure out how to send that to y' all on there. Because, I mean, she sat in the garage.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's real easy when you take the pictures of the cars. Just take a few of them. And then when you go to givemethevin.com, you just put in your license plate number and then fill out a couple. You know, put the miles, license plate number, and then you upload, push, upload picture, and it'll open up your screen for your photos. You boom, boom, boom, boom, pish. Send. That's it. You can really get in and out of the application in 45 seconds. If you're prepared. It can bid it that fast. Thank you for calling 8008-0072-3480-0800, radio. So, Randy.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Maybe Paul Stanley. More Gene Simmons.

[JD Ryan]

Get off.

[Randy the Squirrel]

I don't know. But when I was a kid, Kiss was awesome.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, Kiss is awesome.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That was one of my first favorite bands. Awesome. Awesome.

[JD Ryan]

They still put on a great show.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Hotter Than Hell.

[JD Ryan]

All right.

[Randy the Squirrel]

I like that old Kiss.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Beth is one of the greatest big melodies.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Yeah, man. That's Cat Man. Peter Chris.

[Turley]

I know.

[JD Ryan]

You ever see him on stage, though? Do that show. Do that song live. It's just the show's like fire and tongues and everything, and then everything shuts down and this little fat guy in a catsuit sits in the middle and sings that song.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Randy, what do you think about all the Christmas music on the radio right now?

[Randy the Squirrel]

See, I like the funny Christmas songs, but there's this guy, he does these, like, funny Christmas songs. I don't like him.

[JD Ryan]

Which one?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Have you ever heard that I Am Santa Claus?

[JD Ryan]

No, I have not.

[Randy the Squirrel]

It's supposed to sound like Iron man by Black Sabbath.

[JD Ryan]

No, that guy.

[Randy the Squirrel]

What's that guy's name? Rivers. I hate that guy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What's his name?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Have you heard his chipmunk song?

[Turley]

No.

[Randy the Squirrel]

It's terrible.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, why is this?

[Turley]

Oh, he does.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, I see why you're upset.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Terrible.

[JD Ryan]

It's a chipmunk.

[Randy the Squirrel]

So I don't like it, but I think I take it off the radio.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, because you don't like it.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

How about you turn the radio off?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Well, hell.

[JD Ryan]

Is this him?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire. Chipmunks.

[Randy the Squirrel]

That's not nice.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, that's funny.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hot sauce.

[Randy the Squirrel]

See, in the animal world.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Randy the Squirrel]

They don't act like that.

[Turley]

Yuletide squirrels, fresh filet by the choir they poked hot skewers through their nose Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Clove.

[Turley]

Help to make them seasoned right.

[JD Ryan]

Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat.

[Turley]

Will really hit the spot tonight this.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is a weird gun.

[Randy the Squirrel]

See, it's not cool. He's talking about eating chipmunks. Now, Listen.

[JD Ryan]

He started out with chipmunks.

[Randy the Squirrel]

There's a lot of types of aminals that eat chipmunks, and we realize that.

[JD Ryan]

Really?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Yeah, but they don't, like, draw it out and poke their eyes out and mess around, like, you know. Personally, I like to eat a June bug.

[JD Ryan]

You do?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[Randy the Squirrel]

But I don't, you know, dig the Guts out of June bug and eat it and stuff him and hang him on the damn wall. What kind of thing?

[Turley]

That's tortur.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Somebody ought to call it aspca.

[JD Ryan]

It's just a song.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Son of a bitches.

[JD Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Easy, easy.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Well, holiday season.

[JD Ryan]

What happened to your joy?

[Caller/Guest]

I know, I know.

[Randy the Squirrel]

It's Christmas.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And relax.

[Randy the Squirrel]

What was the Great Coon say?

[JD Ryan]

Just a.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What?

[Caller/Guest]

What?

[JD Ryan]

It's just a song.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Bob Rivers. If I ever see Bob Rivers, I'm gonna bite him right now.

[John Clay Wolfe]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolfe. J.D. ryan, Randy the Squirrel, Bobbo, and of course, Turley on the board. It is live. It is. It is Christmas Saturday morning. People are starting to wake up, so we need to straighten up a little bit. We'll be right back after this musical interlude on most stations. Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, how the hell are you? Hang tight. We'll be right back.

[Commercial Announcer]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to givemetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemethevin.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. GiveMeTheVin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[Bobbo]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this. Presented by givemethevin.com.

[Commercial Announcer]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number, no sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail]. sell them your [e-mail]. if they don't beat Cart Carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeThe Vin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[Turley]

So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Bobbo]

Give me the vin.com. we now return to the John Clay Wolf show.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Call in 800-800-RADIO.

[Caller/Guest]

I really enjoy the show.

[Bobbo]

Presented by givemethevin.com.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You'Re doing a great job.

[Caller/Guest]

I enjoy listening.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Baba. Who is that? Is that Marty Balin?

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, no, no.

[Turley]

That's Mickey Thomas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What's the difference?

[Turley]

Well, Marty Balin was the lead singer during Jefferson Starship in the early days. After the airplane. Before the plain old starship. Mickey Thomas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Was that before? After Leonard Skinner crashed the airplane?

[Turley]

Well after. Yeah, well, after. Mickey Thomas is a badass dude. Elvin Bishop, that's great stuff.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is that where Mickey's big mouth came from? Okay, I'll make sense.

[Turley]

He does have a large, large mouth.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So Mickey Thomas, his granddad created Mickey's big mouth. And Mickey Thomas is half African.

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And his uncle was the pilot of the Lynyrd Skynyrd Convair that crashed in 77 outside of Baton Rouge.

[Turley]

That's how he got the job.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right?

[Turley]

They used to hear him singing on the Runway, but.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And then he stole the. They crashed that plane. And then he took the wheel of the Jefferson Airplane and he crashed that one too.

[Turley]

Right. And you know what, actually, what actually happened to the Jefferson Airplane?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No.

[Turley]

Some fool painted it Loser Blue.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Turley]

And they had to change the name to Starship.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, speaking of starships, did y' all see all the tripping people out in California last night? Some satellite tests, SpaceX, UFOs in the news.

[JD Ryan]

They were either raining or leaving.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Elon Musk is just doing some promo crap, trying to keep his Tesla stock up is all it really is.

[JD Ryan]

Hey, man.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Man, it's a golf cart with batteries. That's what it is. Had a guy call, we're buying a. He's got a. What is it? A 15s class Benz with 4,000 miles, beautiful car. He's trading in on a Tesla. And I'm like, you know, sometimes if you really care, if you're a good hearted person, you'll take somebody that you see hurting themselves and try to do a pro bono public service deal.

[JD Ryan]

A little intervention.

[John Clay Wolfe]

A little intervention. And I tried to talk the guy out of it. I'm like, listen, dude, trust me, you're really making a mistake. You think you lost money on this Mercedes, you ain't even seen losing money till you get a hold of a Tesla.

[Turley]

Just buy a Chevy Volt. I mean, if you got it, why pay quadruple?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Why even buy one at all?

[JD Ryan]

Because it's cool, supposedly.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's not.

[JD Ryan]

It's cool among the cool people.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's not cool. It sucks. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4.

[Turley]

You know, the objective is to, like, be kinder to the environment. That's what they're trying to do.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We're in Texas, man. This is like Saudi Arabia. I said this is where the oil's coming from.

[JD Ryan]

Two bucks a gallon. We don't care. We just don't care.

[John Clay Wolfe]

This ain't California, man. Not a bunch of hippie. Not we democrat, lefty, crazy people. Except for Turley and Bobbo.

[Bobbo]

But.

[John Clay Wolfe]

God, the tax bill. We'll get into that later, Charlie. Speaking of people that. That don't like to work, where the hell is everybody? In the buyer's room. Where's Hooter?

[Bobbo]

I don't. I went over next door, check it out, see if anybody's over there. Turn my mic up.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I can barely hear me.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, there we go. Okay. I went next door to see if anybody showed up because, you know, it's before Christmas Eve.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Everybody's slacking.

[Bobbo]

I already had one text from a person that was sick.

[JD Ryan]

There were a lot of parties last.

[Bobbo]

So I went next door, and there was like two people there. The old dogs. Yeah, Domingo and Craig were there. And then I asked, where's everybody at? So Big says, well, we know Hooters gonna be a little late. Why? Well, he's got to put his. His mother in law's dog had a stroke and he's got. His mother in law's dog had a stroke. He's got to pick her up, pick the dog up. And then they took to the vet and they got to put her down. Now he's got to bury the dog.

[John Clay Wolfe]

His mother in law's dog had a stroke, and then. Then he had to put her down like Christmas time. I guess so.

[Bobbo]

And then they got a barrier.

[JD Ryan]

Take him to the vet.

[Bobbo]

Now. This was the.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Not if you live in the country.

[JD Ryan]

Very sad. Well, they don't take them behind the barn.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Kids, go up to the house with your mama.

[Bobbo]

Is it. Or is it Junior?

[John Clay Wolfe]

You're eight years old. Time to learn how to be a man.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Come on down here.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. Let's kill the dog. Bring my shotgun that we all love. Let's splatter our dog across the yard.

[Turley]

I'm gonna show you boys how we do the best for Old Yeller we can do.

[JD Ryan]

Guys, be nice. That's terrible. I'm so sorry for Hooter.

[Bobbo]

Or is it an excuse, though?

[Turley]

Elaborate one.

[JD Ryan]

You can't. Come on. That's a. No one would do that.

[Bobbo]

We've heard a lot of weird ones have been in at the. Give me the vin. A lot of different types.

[Turley]

You know what I think happened, man? Because Hoots. Hoots got a very cool personality. Very, very laid back. And it is that time of year, I think. You know how you know, you always know a guy who's giving his dog a beer, you know, pouring his bones like I gave my dog Beer. They're like, we smoked pot with our cat and he got high and he ate four pounds of Meow Mix. What if. What if Hoot was sharing cocaine? What are you talking about? No, because dogs don't have heart attacks.

[JD Ryan]

What are you talking about? Yes, they do.

[Turley]

No, they don't.

[JD Ryan]

Well, mine did when I was 14.

[Turley]

They don't catch infections. They don't get heart attacks.

[JD Ryan]

They do.

[Turley]

You know. They don't care about the voice. You don't make.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The what?

[Turley]

The voice. I'm so sick about the voice.

[John Clay Wolfe]

David.

[Turley]

That guy really destroyed that Motley Crue song.

[JD Ryan]

I don't like no clue what you're talking about.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What are you talking about?

[Turley]

Let's talk about. Dogs don't care about the voice. They don't sit around talking about the voice.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What voice?

[Turley]

The show on tv. The damn show on tv.

[JD Ryan]

Talk about anything, actually.

[Turley]

Well, they can't.

[JD Ryan]

Well, they don't like Sesame street either. What are you talking about?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Bobo, you're high.

[JD Ryan]

You're taking a whiz test. Yes, you are.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Are you tripping?

[Turley]

Is that coffee?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Are you tripping?

[Turley]

No, man.

[JD Ryan]

We're talking about a dog who had a stroke. And all of a sudden you're talking about doping and getting your. Your cat high.

[Turley]

I'm just saying, you all. We all know those people who have done that.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I know a guy who used to get his dog high and then he is my ex stepbrother.

[Turley]

Here we go.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And he would blow the smoke in his nose and he. The dog's name was Coney, man. I'm like, where'd you cope with that name? He's like, coney, we wheels, man. Remember the cool wheels in the 80s. And then he gave it to his. His mom, you know, and the dog lived with his mom. And they're real straight laced people. I'm thinking that dog is not like liking you as much as he liked the previous owner. My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars on the radio.

[JD Ryan]

Never.

[John Clay Wolfe]

800-800-723-4. Yes, it is Christmas Saturday morning. Yes, we are live. We're the only ones stupid enough to be up working like you right now. Yes, we're with you. It's a pain, but it's fun. Wonder what all the lazy people are doing. I don't know, cuz. We're up doing our job, right? We'll be right back. It's been hard. I missed your touch. I never miss someone that much.

[Bobbo]

Give me the vin.com presents the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We'll be right back after this.

[Commercial Announcer]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeTheEven.com They've completely changed the car business.

[Turley]

GiveMeTheVin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear. He's not worried about the repeal of the individual mandate because his primary health care provider is and has always been the Jack Daniels distillery. He's always been fond of bitterly cold weather because it makes working girls much more willing to negotiate price. He's confident the co worker he drew in the office secret Santa pool will be thrilled with the gift that he set as a assistant to buy whatever it turns out to be. He is the world's biggest son of a. Hey, man. I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty like tall boy. Yeah, buddy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, yeah. We're back.

[Bobbo]

Back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call it 800-800-RADIO.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Love listening to Y'. ALL. Presented by givemetheven.com 800, 800 RADIO. That secret Santa deals. Did you write that because of me?

[Turley]

What do you mean?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Sending somebody to get a present for the. For the company pool?

[Turley]

Hell no. You always think that, man.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I didn't know.

[JD Ryan]

But I wanted to thank you for my. Because I found out you were my secret Santa. Thank you, man. You got my really cool stuff.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I really don't know what we got. I know you don't know what I got.

[Turley]

How long did it take you to pick that out?

[John Clay Wolfe]

What'd we get you?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, what did we get you? You were my secret Santa.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What did I get you?

[JD Ryan]

You got me a very nice candle. You got me some Amazon gift cards. You got me. What else?

[Bobbo]

Those energy drinks.

[JD Ryan]

Well, 30 for the Amazon gift cards.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Wow.

[Bobbo]

You spent a minute. It was supposed to be 25 per person here.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I know what happened. You got me. You drew me.

[JD Ryan]

I drew the lucky car.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, lucky car. But the Tracy that drew me, she. She got me couple a can of skull. She got me all my stuff. Like beer.

[JD Ryan]

All the stuff.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Stuff.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. BC powder.

[John Clay Wolfe]

BC powder.

[Bobbo]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

All the things I need to get my day started off right.

[Turley]

That is a fine woman.

[JD Ryan]

That is a.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That's a good woman. Good. Bob.

[Bobbo]

He's been Working on her. You know that?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yes.

[Turley]

What are you talking about?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Every.

[Turley]

Every day she's here.

[Bobbo]

Saturday, you go and disappear and go in that office.

[Turley]

How do you know?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hi, girls. You left her a note? Yeah, I want.

[Turley]

I didn't leave it for. I gave it to him.

[Bobbo]

It said, call me. And his phone number down there.

[Turley]

Well, she keeps it handy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hey, dude, people get sued for stuff like that. Now, you can't, like, look at women at work. No, you're actually not an employee of that company. So it's okay. You can go. You can go flirt with her. But, like, man, it's weird, man.

[Turley]

I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna subscribe to that. I'm not gonna fall for that. That's not everybody. You know, you can be a nice guy. You can be interested in. Interested. Yeah, you can be. You know, and I don't work here anyway, man. It's like you guys just fly me in for games.

[JD Ryan]

Work here.

[Turley]

I mean, I work here, but, you know, if you're gonna.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If you're gonna harass the staff, please do it outside the office walls. It's kind of like if you fall off that ladder, you're fired before you hit the ground.

[Turley]

Yeah. Welcome to Texas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bobbo]

800.

[John Clay Wolfe]

800-7 2, 3, 4. Good morning, Arkansas. Texas. Lousy Anna and Oakley, homie.

[JD Ryan]

By the way, people that work here. Can I bring up something?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Sure.

[JD Ryan]

I was walking through the buyer's office Wednesday, and the auction was going on, and I looked down at the screen. One of the buyers had it. Had you on the screen.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, the simulcast.

[JD Ryan]

Simulcast? Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And Dallas auto auction, late 11. Give me the VIN.

[JD Ryan]

It looked like a KISS concert. One of the cars went through smoking. What happened?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, that BMW.

[JD Ryan]

A BMW. Was that it?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, what he's talking about is we sell. We. We sell 200 cars a week at the Dallas Auto Auction. Lane 11.

[Turley]

11.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If you want to buy one of our cars, you can go find a dealer. Do not go to the Dallas Auto auction. There were 20 people that went to the Dallas auto auction last night just because they heard me bring it up.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's dealer licenses only. However, if you have a dealer friend, you can log in on simulcast at their office and you can buy one through them. They'll probably charge you 500 bucks, and it'll save a lot of money. You cannot. Unless you're a registered dealer, you cannot go there.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

However, you can't get in through the simulcast. So what JD's saying is it was playing in the buyer's Office, Right. And they can see everything. This damn BMW X5 came through just coughing. He was blowing more smoke than a smoke machine. I've never seen. Seen one blow that it. You. It shut the whole room down. You couldn't see anything.

[Bobbo]

You couldn't see the car behind it. Literally, you could not see the car behind it. And the best part about it, though, was no one said anything about that car. It just kind of appeared and it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Went away, and that was it in.

[JD Ryan]

Its own cloud of dust.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But what's amazing is Norman or Sean didn't see it coming up that way and pull it out.

[Bobbo]

That's what I wonder. Did it just start?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No.

[Bobbo]

So it was all the way.

[John Clay Wolfe]

There's no way. There's no way it just decided to start. Once it got inside the building, it was puffing like a smoke machine. It did look like a con. It was so. It was smoking so heavy in there. It looked like effects from a concert.

[JD Ryan]

It wasn't very long.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And the next car right behind it sold just fine. I was worried because it was like a nice Jaguar. I was like, oh, man, this is gonna screw everything up. Because nobody, ensemble cast is going to know which one's smoking.

[Bobbo]

See the card.

[Turley]

Next one.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You couldn't see in front of your face. You couldn't. I couldn't see the auctioneer standing next to me. It was. I was choking on. It was weird. I don't know what happened to it.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, very often.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, it doesn't happen very often. Rush Limbaugh, speaking of smoking, is in the house.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, he is.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hey, Rush.

[Turley]

Enjoying a delicious cigar.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, a little Christmas cigar.

[Turley]

I love these. These are awesome. Billy Bush sent me a box of these Havana honeys. Have you ever seen these? Look how brown it is. It almost tastes like chocolate. It's so dark. A really tasty smoke. It smells robust, I'll tell you, these days.

[Caller/Guest]

And don't.

[Turley]

Don't get locked into this, because this is what they're trying to do on the Democratic side.

[John Clay Wolfe]

All right?

[JD Ryan]

Duh.

[Turley]

You should. You should follow the lead of our fearless leader, Donald J. Trump, because the Dems are weaponizing the sexual harassment claims.

[JD Ryan]

The Democrats are weaponizing these sexual harassment claims.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If you look at.

[Turley]

Look what Matt Lauer.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Back in 2012. Katie Kirk. Right? The beautiful Katie Couric. Yes, she is beautiful. We'll say totally responsive and passive. Katie Couric. What was talking about Matt Lauer pinching her on the ass back then? It's been five years ago, right?

[JD Ryan]

Could have been joking.

[Turley]

Suddenly, it's a big deal, but only after Trump and Bill Cosby and the.

[JD Ryan]

Weinstein guy and of course Kevin Spacey and all the rest.

[Turley]

I still, I still don't.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And that caller from earlier that used to work with J.D. ryan.

[JD Ryan]

Oh God, stop it.

[Turley]

Kevin Spacey is so good in Usual Suspects.

[JD Ryan]

What does that have to do with it?

[Turley]

I can't believe it. I just, I don't.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So what are we doing with the tax plan? Rush?

[Turley]

There is a new tax plan. Free at last.

[JD Ryan]

Free at last, Right.

[Turley]

Holy God Almighty.

[Caller/Guest]

What?

[Turley]

Free at last.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What are we talking about?

[Turley]

I didn't write that line.

[JD Ryan]

No, I know you didn't.

[Turley]

I think it's from a door.

[JD Ryan]

No, it's not.

[Turley]

We've got a new tax break. And especially now, if you read the text carefully, there's a provision for cell phone businesses that are what they call turnaround businesses in real estate.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[Turley]

I've actually purchased a nice parcel of.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Land.

[Turley]

More than a thousand acres in southeast Oklahoma. Why in Love County? Well, one, because it was cheap. Okay, two, I get the write off the whole thing on my taxes. It's gonna be awesome. Wait til you see my 1099.

[JD Ryan]

Jesus.

[Turley]

This is one thing you can do with a new tax plan. The other thing is finally they've repealed the Obamacare.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

Which is great. Obama had this idea.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, bummer.

[Turley]

What do you mean?

[JD Ryan]

Nothing. Go ahead.

[Turley]

You don't enjoy my.

[JD Ryan]

No, I don't. Well, we get it.

[Turley]

There's no reason the federal government should make people buy insurance, especially if they're sick. They should rest. They should stay at home and rest and. Like your son of a bitch boy. You know, I think that's a great idea.

[JD Ryan]

I.

[Turley]

Now I don't use the Jack Daniels, but my primary health care provider for years and years has been the Johnny Walker Black Label. It works for everything. You know, I. I broke my foot last year, right, but trying to play golf with my friend, Donald J. Trump. Yeah, Friend of the President. That's pretty.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, you're pretty high brow. You're big news.

[Turley]

Broke my foot because I gained about 14 pounds and I don't walk a lot. I'm a radio guy. And do you know I drank Johnny Walker Black Label for about three days.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[Turley]

Healed itself.

[JD Ryan]

It did not.

[Turley]

Yes, and I'm pretty sure it was broken. I mean, it didn't swell up or anything, but it hurt.

[JD Ryan]

Oh my God.

[Turley]

Also, I. I stepped on a Copperhead or possibly a possum. Whatever it was, it was a Johnny Walker Blast the hell out of me. And The Johnnie Walker helped. No, it didn't. And so I think every family in the country should be issued monthly. A fifth of Johnnie Walker Black Label whiskey and a coupon for nyquil.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thank you, Rush.

[Turley]

At your neighborhood Walmart.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thank you, Rush. My name is John Claywolf.

[Turley]

No new taxes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And hey, the guy with the Jeep Grand Cherokee with 100 on it's gonna be nine to $10,000. You gotta give me the vin.com loader up. We've got a heart out, Norman. Hang tight. We'll be right back. I don't need no man to take.

[Caller/Guest]

You through.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I don't wanna be. Christmas I'm talking about you I'm talking about you, you, you All I want I. The hell is this?

[Bobbo]

To the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethe.vin.com.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I just wanted to call in tell.

[Caller/Guest]

You how much I was love you so.

[Bobbo]

800, 800 radio.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Give me the van. It is the best Christmas movie of all time. There's just no doubt. Sing it. But you got to turn him on if he's singing. Anthony Bobo's mic's right. That's Randy.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Oh, there goes Sparky the dog.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What?

[Randy the Squirrel]

I love that movie.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Norman, Good morning. You're on the air.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning.

[John Clay Wolfe]

How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Very good. How you doing?

[John Clay Wolfe]

I'm good. We were taught. What'd you say? I know.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning, guys. Merry Christmas to all.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thank you. Norman from Puerto Rico. Washed in by the flood waters. Hurricane Irvine picked him up and threw him all the way to Florida.

[Turley]

Been worried sick about you, Norm.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Norman, Norman manages our inventory. Norman manages our inventory. And he's the master technician, pit crew boss of the mechanics of Give Me the vin. And we were talking earlier about the auction on Wednesday in Dallas in the BMW that came through. I had never seen a car smoke that hard in my life. What did you not see?

[Caller/Guest]

Went through and I was smoking. Oh, I guess everybody was. Stevie wondered around here. Then nobody see anything because my line coordinator. I need to talk to him. So explain me how this happens. They just went in and I was smoking, Norman.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It was smoking so bad that I could barely see the auctioneer next to me. They were watching the simulcast at the office and you couldn't see the cars or the block. It looked like a KISS concert.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God. So. So welcome to my life. This is. Everything is unpredictable. That car, I guess when I start in the lane, I went and suddenly started smoking. Some people call it happy car because they are smoking like that. But whatever they are smoking, you know.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But whenever it. Whenever it smokes that hard. What does that mean? Because it didn't smell bad.

[Caller/Guest]

What was the color of the. Of the smoke? I think it should be. If it was blue, we got a problem. Because if it was white, it could be the. The head gasket went out.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But it was more than head gasket. I've seen head gasket smoke. I mean, it was white really, but it was. Maybe it was. I mean, it was. It was. I never. I've been in this business 22 years. I've never seen one smoked. It was smoking harder than a smoke machine would smoke.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, thank you for you. Don't fire me over this one. With the highest standards you got for this lane. Somebody had to say somebody be somebody's.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Ass is heads are gonna roll. It was Norman. It was so bad that. You know, there's things that are so bad that you don't even get mad. It was so bad. It was more like we need to protect ourselves and make sure we don't die than be mad.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It was serious. Speaking of smoking. Speaking of smoking. So you came down from. You came down from Pennsylvania to Texas because you thought that they were going to legalize marijuana. But that hasn't happened.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Now in Texas. So what I got to hear when I got here, I got all surprised nobody. You know, where I'm from, it's legal. Guys. I don't know. Maybe if you just try to legalize it down here, you don't have to pay so much on tolls roads, because Texas charge tolls for everything. You go to the store, you have to pay a toll. You gotta go to work, you have to pay a toll. Well, it is a good way to get money, but legalize the thing and you see that you don't have to pay so much tolls anymore.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If there's an expert about smoking, it is Norman. He's a reason. He's a real Cheech and Chong. Speaking of, how is the. How is the quality down here versus up there?

[Caller/Guest]

It is cheap too. It is cheaper than buying cigarettes. You see, the tobacco is going to be a little more exp. Spencer slow. So. Because they keep practicing it that hard. So anyway, so Nor I like Texas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thank you for the smoke. Thank you for the smoke update, Norman. Speaking of, we've got our own Bob Floyd in here for a dope report.

[Turley]

Tell you kids, it's time you come down off of that silver lining cloud. Because we were all so happy about legalization a couple of years ago starting in Colorado. But nowadays we're finally seeing that legalization backlash that I warned you about, especially in Colorado. Unlike California and Maine and Massachusetts, which has a population not primarily made up of hillbillies, in Colorado there's a new thing called looping. This is a really genius term. Licensed legal dispensaries and their employees in Colorado have made the fascinating brain trust decision of selling more than they're legally allowed, which is one ounce at a time. In Colorado, they're selling it by the pound. And these are large, large bags. And they're getting large, large sentences from state judges for it as well. Yep, £400 at a time. Sometimes six, sometimes seven and a half. There's obviously no limit to how stupid a high person from Colorado can be. And that's why my advice for you is to play it safe right here at home in, you guessed it, Tejas. Because with a few guidelines, you can do your own thing illegally, make a fine profit, and just go by the fundamentals. Remember, too much volume in a vehicle is always a bad idea. And why has it got to be your vehicle? Hire a lackey, someone loyal who doesn't mind taking a. A generous cut of your profits and maybe doing three to five on a charge. Don't ever carry volume yourself. And here's a tip, cha cha, deliver. Don't ever have people come to your house. And don't carry £40 at a time in your damned vehicle. This is a very good way to go to jail. Carry one load at a time and anything more than than an ounce is someone trying to steal your foothold on the supply. So one ounce at a time is the rule. Never carry your own volume yourself. And don't buy your volume in broad daylight in Ding, the state of Colorado. And that's our dope report for this Christmas 2017. I'm Bob Floyd and you keep token.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thank you, Bob. Between Bob and Norman, we got it all figured out.

[JD Ryan]

There's a funny couple. 80 and 83 years old. The man was 80, the white woman was 83 years old. This week in Nebraska, got stopped with 60 pounds of marijuana and their excuse to the police. 60 pounds in their van. They were on the way from California to Vermont. They said that was for Christmas presents.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And they were like, no, that was a drug dealer that paid an old couple that has nothing to lose a lot of money to be a mule.

[Turley]

Dude, screw the Klondike bar. Do you know what I do for 60 pounds of grass?

[John Clay Wolfe]

What's in the news, sir?

[Turley]

Let me see what else we have.

[JD Ryan]

Well, Wisconsin Kindergartner Kindergartener Rather is among the first youngsters to bag a buck under the new law that eliminates the state's minimum hunting age. Lexi Harris, six years old, has been hunting with her dad since she was three years old. She shot the very first buck and legally. Now Lexi's first kill was a two year old red nosed deer named Rudolph.

[Turley]

What is that bad?

[JD Ryan]

A camel named Scooby escaped from its owner's Ohio home and wandered loosely through town for about an hour and a half this week. Locals snapped photos of the year and a half ago the Toledo area causing traffic jams and more. Scooby by the way, was finally captured by a small group of teenagers in a psychedelic van sewing Scoob. Sorry. John just rolls his eyes. Hey, I'm a BMW that's smoking. What can I tell you? And finally if, if only this for the second time in the last century the number of farmers is up 35% this year. Actually young folks 25 to 34 years old are becoming farmers again. And after all these years it does seem that Green Acres is the place to be. Farm living is the life.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know. I know some farmers and it can be a very good living. It's an up and down world but the average really works out pretty well. Yeah, there's some rich farmers. It's not just hard living, it's hard work. But yeah.

[JD Ryan]

What would be a good crop in Texas?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Glenn An 06 Mercury Mountaineer Pot exactly with 250,000 miles is worth negative 0 negative 100 what you there? Glenn An 06 Mercury Mountainezer with 226000 miles. First of all congratulations it made it that far. Third of all. Third of all you owe me a hundred dollars for even having this on my show. And fifth of all I'll if you pay me 500 I'll take it.

[Caller/Guest]

I tell you what man, you got anything 06 whatever outrage you and bet you the whole outrun you this thing runs like a top it don't have no rust, don't leak, don't smoke, don't do I mean I don't say the truth I just bought it as a little old bull car you know But I'm really surprised I don't really like for I'm a Chevy man Lord I'm.

[Turley]

Crazy by the Mercury.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Speaking of Lincolns man the new Navigator yeah they're selling over sticker $90,000 escalation Escalade ish rig is and the new I rode I went to lunch with a friend who's a Lincoln dealer the other day and we took a new Lincoln Continental and I forgot they even came out. Oh, my God. They're nice. Have you seen one? I'd never seen one. It was incredible.

[Bobbo]

I think they have the. Some of them have the suicide door.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. Yes.

[Turley]

Yes.

[JD Ryan]

That's cool.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yes.

[JD Ryan]

I love those.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That car was bad to the bone.

[Turley]

What are Those going for?

[John Clay Wolfe]

60 GS. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to watch depreciation in real time, just stare at one for a moment. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800.

[Turley]

Why does he smoke and they drinking all of the time?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Radio so Zeke is back for the Cowboys. Yeah. Playoff push. What are the odds, Charlie, for them.

[Bobbo]

To make the playoffs? Yeah, it's like 5%, so.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, it's that bad? Yeah.

[Bobbo]

So they need to beat Seattle. They need the Lions to lose, and then Atlanta to lose two games.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay.

[Bobbo]

So got a lot of hope. So you beat Seattle and the Lions lose this week and Atlanta loses, then.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You got a chance.

[Bobbo]

I bet you it's 50, 50 at that point. So if Atlanta loses next week and you win, Cowboys win, then they're in.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I watched Jerry Jones grandson play high school football last night on big tv.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And it was like the best game I've seen in the Cowboys stadium in probably two years.

[Bobbo]

Highland park won it against Manville. That's the second state championship for Jerry Jones's grandson as the quarterback.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Jonathan Stephen Jones.

[Turley]

Yep.

[Bobbo]

He is actually won the Tom Landry award for best quarterback or best player athlete in Texas. He's really good.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yes, that. Did you watch that game last night?

[Bobbo]

I didn't. I saw the highlights all the last play. So it was 30 yards out. Manville throws a bomb in high school. Bomb 30 yards. Catches it at the one and they stopped him. That's. That's drama right there.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That's awesome. It was like I said it was. Can you imagine? So your. Your granddad owns the Dallas Cowboys. Your dad basically the manager and the owner too. And you are in high school. It's not cool enough that your granddad and your dad own the Dallas Cowboys, but you're also the quarterback for the number one team in the state playing the state title game in your dad's Coliseum.

[Bobbo]

I mean, that's.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I mean, the poon just jumping from other states. I bet he did worse than Daryl Strawberry just confessed to last week.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, sure.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We're not going to talk about that. No, we're not. But I mean, you. Can you imagine is that short of being the king of England. Short of being Prince Charles.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[JD Ryan]

Can you imagine?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is there a greater elevation that one young man could be? He is his parents. He owns the. He. He's the heir to the Dallas Cowboys and he's throwing the touchdown passes on national television in his own stadium.

[JD Ryan]

And I know you. You're just jealous because the women are all over him.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Not even that.

[JD Ryan]

It's just.

[Bobbo]

Think of that pressure, though.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It just. It's just so stupid. You couldn't even write it.

[Bobbo]

No, no.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You couldn't even make that up in a fiction novel.

[JD Ryan]

If it was in Dallas, the TV show. Nobody buy it. No, that's ridiculous.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It would be like, oh, this show's gotten so stupid.

[Bobbo]

Jumping the shark here.

[JD Ryan]

Right?

[Bobbo]

Really, there's no way that's happening.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Unbelievable. Well, good job for.

[Turley]

For them.

[John Clay Wolfe]

In, in. In. In. Young Jones. We, we. We. We're starting to like you. Even though nobody likes your old man.

[JD Ryan]

So maybe someday you'll play for the Dallas Cowboys.

[Bobbo]

Oh, you know that's next.

[JD Ryan]

No, dad, I'm with the winning team. Thanks.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He's not big enough, is he?

[Bobbo]

No, but he's got a little time to grow and he's probably going to go to Arkansas on a scholarship. He's been offered scholarships. Arkansas Tech already.

[John Clay Wolfe]

They'd offer him a scholarship to Arkansas if he sucked. And then just because of. He is the pressure after.

[Bobbo]

Let's say he does good in college. The NFL, do they draft?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Could this get worse? Oh, could he be the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys?

[JD Ryan]

Wouldn't that be unbelievable?

[Bobbo]

That story would. That's it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I would just quit watching. I just throw up on myself and start watching basketball.

[Bobbo]

Well, don't quit watching. On Fox. Southwest Alito plays. Coming up here, Bearcats going for their eight.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, on a big syndicated show. Turley, that really is what everybody wants. Love high school football, man. Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana. Everybody knows about Bearcat football.

[Turley]

They do.

[Bobbo]

Alito's eighth. It's a record eighth state championship.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is it really?

[Turley]

Shout out to the Munster Hornets this year who won the state championship in 2A? No. And they're the only school in 2A Texas history to win the state championship in baseball, basketball and football in the same calendar year.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What about the north side six man club in Texoma?

[JD Ryan]

Can you tell it's a holiday weekend.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, in the Rummel Private school in a Evangel down in Shreveport. I mean that. That's a hell of a place. This all mainstream stuff.

[JD Ryan]

This whole show just became a smoking BMW.

[John Clay Wolfe]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars on the air. And we'll be right back. Oh, this is Christmas. And what happened?

[Bobbo]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this presented by givemethevin.com.

[Commercial Announcer]

Youm know your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to givemetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemetheven.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Give me the vin.com they've completely changed the car business.

[Turley]

Give me the bin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear. He's convinced himself that Al Franken's sexual misconduct accusations are really a well devised branding campaign intended to put him in the White House in 2020. He thinks saying you can't drink and operate a dozer is like saying the Japanese shouldn't play video games. It's never actually too cold to fish as long as there's a nearby Petco that's open. He is the world's biggest son of a bitch. Hey man, I don't always drink beer but when I do make mine a natty like tomboy. Yeah buddy.

[Bobbo]

Go ahead and crack that natty light right, because it's morning.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That makes sense.

[Bobbo]

The John Clay Wolf show presented by gimmethevent.com 800800 radio.

[Turley]

Give me the VIN.com makes sense to.

[JD Ryan]

Me where we are live.

[Turley]

Here's the first top popper of the morning.

[JD Ryan]

JD On Christmas Eve eve a lot of radio shows would do best of A lot of radio shows would have phoned it in. Not us. We're here Christmas Eve Eve broadcasting live from the John Clay Wolf studios high above sub building.

[Turley]

What a deal. You know there's so much to talk about fake news.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know.

[Turley]

Don't believe this.

[JD Ryan]

Don't believe anything.

[Turley]

Oh if you watch this channel that's fake. I've grown such an appreciation for the little slice of life stories they do nowadays.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

On local stations.

[JD Ryan]

I know on the what I used to do.

[Turley]

You know the charm is back. Did the deal about the rooster in Fort Worth.

[JD Ryan]

Oh the the.

[Turley]

That's crazy.

[JD Ryan]

The road rooster terrorized a neighborhood in Fort Worth. Do we have that story? I have the audio from that story. Actually, this is. This is a great, funny local little bizarre thing that happened in Fort Worth Gu. You ready?

[John Clay Wolfe]

On Nora street.

[Turley]

He ruled the roost.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He just act like he just on the block. He had it out for Beverly Thompson. He was scary. He seemed like he was would attack him. Well, he's been terrorizing the neighborhood across the way.

[Turley]

This.

[John Clay Wolfe]

This just was a mean character. He got Patrick Coleman too.

[Turley]

Yeah, he had the biggest claws you would ever want to see.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The rooster pecked him, attacked his grown son and scratched his wife Diane. She had to run and run in.

[Turley]

The house real fast to try to get away from.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But when he went after their dog Olivia, that was the last straw.

[Turley]

She pecked him and she.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And the dog screamed and the dog ran up to me and turned over.

[Turley]

And the rooster was right at him.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The rooster was taken by animal services. Now in the pen where they say he's been on his best behavior. The handsome fellow may be put up for adoption. For now, he. He's getting good care and a nickname.

[Turley]

Kim Cluck Norris.

[John Clay Wolfe]

A bad egg off Norris Street.

[Turley]

Well, I'm glad he's in a safe place and the neighborhood is safe itself. That's great.

[JD Ryan]

Well, stop. Six is safe. Yeah, they got Cluck Norris off the streets and I heard they've actually adopted him out.

[Bobbo]

Yes, actually, jd, we adopted him out.

[JD Ryan]

This is true.

[John Clay Wolfe]

This is true.

[Bobbo]

Okay, so Uncle Roy, he needs a little protection on when he goes on.

[JD Ryan]

Some of the drives.

[Bobbo]

Drives?

[JD Ryan]

Really?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, yeah, really.

[Bobbo]

And what better person to ride with him?

[JD Ryan]

He is apparently this. This rooster was terrorizing in the neighborhood. So obviously he's a good protection.

[Bobbo]

So here. In fact, he's here right now, cuz Roy's about to take him on the road. Yes, yes. Cluck Norris, everybody.

[Turley]

What you gentleman got going on down here in the ring?

[John Clay Wolfe]

What?

[Turley]

This is nice. JC Double Dub.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, JC Double.

[Turley]

I know you was a classy man, but you dranking that good coffee. Ain't you got that gourmet business going down? What you call that?

[Randy the Squirrel]

Huh?

[Turley]

What they say on this Cinnamon Dolce cabana?

[JD Ryan]

What?

[Turley]

Cinnamon Dolce make my ass want to cluck all night.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, I got you.

[Turley]

Anyway, thank y' all for getting me out in that rap. Out of the pan of the animal control.

[JD Ryan]

Got you out of the pan. And you're gonna be our protection rooster.

[Turley]

Now I haven't had my ass back in freedom mode again. Them people is nice over there, but it's just like any other damn bureaucratic or hegemonial institution, right? They making some damn scatterbrain placement decisions, you know that?

[JD Ryan]

Why?

[Turley]

Why like first they put me in with the dogs.

[JD Ryan]

What? They put you in with the. You terrorized the dogs. Cages.

[Turley]

Room full of dogs. They had to learn who they had in there with them.

[JD Ryan]

I bet I know when they first.

[Turley]

Put me in the cage, all them fools was barking and carrying on, acting like they was gonna tear me up. So I did. What you gonna have to do. Soon as I got a chance, I got a hold of one of them Doberman pinchers, okay? Strutting all about the place like he's the cock of the woke.

[JD Ryan]

So you're kind of doing what they do in prison.

[Turley]

And I know he was the alpha dog up in there. And while they was booking me, they taking that dog up the scales. Cause I secretly think he's helping himself to the other dog's dinner. Working on a bit of a weight problem. Look like no damn foot tall basset hound. What he looked like? He was thick.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thick.

[Turley]

Mother was sick, I got sick. Anyway, I caught him up on that scale and put my spur up in his ear hole and took off so much hide off the back of his head as I could pull away. You're fighting and that's one pound he ain't gonna have to worry about no more. And after that all them old dogs was aware of the cluck.

[JD Ryan]

The cluck.

[Turley]

And they better too. Anyway, and I'm gonna to OKC Oklahoma City and pick up a couple of cars with Roy today. So all you little little bitty little bitty pretty ones being okay State get.

[Caller/Guest]

Ready.

[Turley]

Cuz my name's Cluck Cluck and I'm ready.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You quit. You Mr. Pul. Fiction.

[Turley]

Have a little.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That was Kill Bill.

[Bobbo]

Sounds like Samuel Jackson.

[John Clay Wolfe]

800. 800. 7, 2 3, 4. Steven oh 4 and Paul SS with 165. It's a lot of miles.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how nice is it?

[Caller/Guest]

The car is in perfect condition. As far as I'm concerned, it's never been in an accident.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I mean, I hear you. As far as your concerns the keyboard, how nice is it? I mean is it like. Oh my God, this car looks like it's brand new because it's got 165 on it. I don't see that happening.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean the car looks really good. I mean interior still great, outside body still great. Not a scratch, not a dent, nothing like that.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What city?

[Caller/Guest]

Texas City, Texas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

And no, the car did not have any flood damage and it didn't get.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Blown away in the hurricane?

[Caller/Guest]

No, sir. I did lose two cars in the vehicle in the storm, but not that one.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Did you really? How did your insurance handle you?

[Caller/Guest]

They handled me pretty well. I mean, they paid everything off for me.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That's nice. That's nice, right? So what is this, maroon or black?

[Caller/Guest]

It's black. Well, got a rebuilt transmission and it's got about 2,000 miles on it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, there's just a big difference between a nice one and a big mild out one. Even though you're not gonna like my number, I don't even want to bid it. I don't want to bid it because you're not gonna like my number. I'm just gonna make you mad, I think.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I mean, you know, I think.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It'S a thousand dollar car.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I mean, that's where I was at with it as well. I just was getting little input.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If you want to sell it, go to Give me the vin.com. load it up, we'll come get it.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thanks, man. 800-800-723-4. Thank you, Cluck Norris for coming in the studio this morning.

[JD Ryan]

Amazing.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We love our guests.

[JD Ryan]

We'll be right back, all the stars.

[Bobbo]

We'll be right back. More of the John clay wolf show presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[Commercial Announcer]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to gimmetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to gimmetheven.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Givemethevin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[Turley]

Givemethevin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hey, look, I'm president.

[Turley]

I don't care.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I don't care anymore.

[JD Ryan]

I don't care.

[Bobbo]

Want to see what these jackasses look like?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Go to jump john claywolf.com and don't forget to download the podcast the John Clay wolf show. Call in.

[Bobbo]

Presented by gimmethevin.com.

[Turley]

Is a thing to say on a bright a wine Christmas day. That's the island greeting that they send to you from the land where.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Who is this? Dean Martin?

[JD Ryan]

Big Crosby?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is it really?

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Caller/Guest]

Are you sure?

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

He's bending his nose like Dina.

[JD Ryan]

I promise you it's not that's being said.

[Turley]

If I knew how to spell it, I'd look it up.

[JD Ryan]

Go ahead and look it up. We had this. Played this song for years. Yes. And Jimmy Buffett does a great version of his.

[Turley]

Well, yes, he does.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And is it really a Hawaiian word for Christmas?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, Meliki maka means Merry Christmas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's a lot of words for Merry Christmas that's confusing me. This was from the soundtrack of Family Vacation.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Which we are sampling much of Love Being Man. What, Satan? No, dude, we. We said we weren't going to have Satan on Christmas weekend. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Turley]

Did I break your concentration again?

[John Clay Wolfe]

What are you. What are you doing here?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm just dropping by.

[Turley]

Say Happy Hanukkah.

[Caller/Guest]

Hope everybody has a great time.

[JD Ryan]

Is this a big time of year for you? I mean, come on.

[Turley]

Oh, sure.

[JD Ryan]

Everybody's celebrating Christ.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. I've got.

[Turley]

I've got two spots left on the menorah.

[JD Ryan]

Brother Jesus.

[Turley]

It's gonna be an awesome time and the whole thing. Well, I can, you know, I don't discriminate.

[Caller/Guest]

You know, happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas and.

[Turley]

Everything, but really, I mean, for my people.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Hanukkah.

[Turley]

Yeah. Myself, Jesus, Gabriel.

[Caller/Guest]

We're all Jews. Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

The Three Stooges.

[Turley]

You didn't know?

[JD Ryan]

No, I didn't know.

[Turley]

Huh.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I didn't know either.

[Caller/Guest]

I know, it's. It's funny.

[JD Ryan]

I stumped the devil.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't look Jewish.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, you don't look Jewish.

[Turley]

But, yeah, we have a great time, you know, down in hell.

[JD Ryan]

You're Jewish.

[Caller/Guest]

Spinning dreidels.

[JD Ryan]

No, you don't.

[Turley]

With Charlie Manson and Jim Jones.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You don't.

[Caller/Guest]

We're having a ball.

[Turley]

You should. You know who makes the best matzo balls? Hitler.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm serious.

[Turley]

You would never think. Okay, but I mean, he was. He obviously was well researched.

[JD Ryan]

I'm gonna put the brakes on this.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Turley]

I mean, these matzas will melt in your mouth.

[Caller/Guest]

It's just really something.

[Turley]

I love that Adam Sandler song.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Hey, you just gotta go.

[Caller/Guest]

I can't wait to get my hands on that guy.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, boy, I hope you do.

[Turley]

Playing golf with a hockey stick.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Jesus was Jewish?

[JD Ryan]

Yes. He was Jewish.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Carpenters explain that. He was.

[JD Ryan]

I don't have a clue.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Jesus was Jewish. Yes, but then what? Because why have I never even thought about this before? If Jesus was Jew, then where did all these religions come from that are that Praise Jesus?

[JD Ryan]

That would have been before Christianity, before Christ was born.

[Turley]

There's such a thing.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But then why have. I mean, If Jesus was Jewish, Is this fact in all print? Of all the versions, yes. Right. King of the Jews, Duh, duh. So why is everyone that praises Jesus not Jewish? Babo.

[Turley]

Okay, there's such a thing as the Old Testament, right? It was written by ancient Hebrews, right? Okay. It's their book, right? Not ours. Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay.

[Turley]

So when you get to the end of the minor prophets, that would be Malachi, and you start Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. These are stories of Jesus, and not in the modern age. There's very little substantiation to it, but a lot to be learned about how to treat each other. And that's why they say Jesus changed the game. Because it ain't about what kind of animal you sacrifice or whether you look at your neighbor's wife.

[JD Ryan]

Right?

[Turley]

It's how you treat other people. You know, love others as you love thyself. Right? And we all know don't steal, don't kill, you know, don't screw around with Kiss albums, you know, Idolatry's Bachelor. Love your mom and dad.

[JD Ryan]

Love your mom and dad.

[Turley]

You know, don't. I don't Wish I had JD's career.

[JD Ryan]

No, I bet you don't.

[Turley]

Like, don't covet.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right?

[Turley]

You know, these are simple rules. Jesus changed everything. He's like. He's like, hey, man, like, let there be love. Let there be light.

[JD Ryan]

There you go, John.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And this is the weekend we're celebrating the birth of Jesus, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[JD Ryan]

The game changer.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So it's two days before he was born in. Those guys are going through the desert right now, bringing the Presence, right?

[Turley]

Supposedly. And this is from an astronomical standpoint, the wise men were traveling for months to find him because they'd seen a star that. That, you know, fulfilled the prophecy of the coming Messiah. They were Jews, too.

[John Clay Wolfe]

They weren't Muslims.

[Turley]

Well, see, Muslims didn't appear really in our world history until about 600 AD. Okay, different story. But they use, you know, the Muslims know the story of Moses and the story of Noah. Christianity and Islam both sprang from the Hebrew tradition, that is the Old Testament.

[John Clay Wolfe]

When they were going across the desert all that time, where'd they find water?

[Turley]

They brought it with them. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Then where did the Santa Claus thing come in? Play St. Nick.

[Turley]

Yeah, saint. St. Nicholas was a saint from Eastern Europe, wasn't he? Netherland.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Ask your old Denmark. My kids are half Danish.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[Turley]

Saint Nicholas used to provide dowry to poor brides that didn't have any, so they could get married and have a life of their.

[Bobbo]

Actually, isn't Romero. He's sitting in the green room. I think he has the story of St. Nick, doesn't.

[Turley]

He's looking very serious.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I don't think we have enough time for him. We've only got three and a half minutes, but we'll do it. We'll have, we'll have Tony Roma's dad on our number four and people that. Guys, when we lose a couple of stations right now at 11 o', clock, you can grab it on the podcast or you can go to John Claywolf.com and hit the stream button. Listen live button.

[Turley]

Something else you can do and, and you know, tell me more about the.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Story of Christmas, what tradition is. It's good because what we're doing right now is we're getting my butt out of a pinch for that devil bit and minute ago.

[Turley]

What are you talking about?

[John Clay Wolfe]

That deal. Go ahead.

[Turley]

Is that problematic?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No. Now we're cleaning it all up real nicely. You keep going.

[Turley]

You should have a talk with that guy. I know what you, what you might ought to do. And just think about this because a lot of people are going crazy about put Jesus back in Christmas. I don't know anybody that's trying to take it out, you know, but there are a lot of world religions. There's Buddhism and Hinduism and Islam, you know, and, and you know, there are people that are non religious this time of year. If all you got is Santa Claus and a pretty tree with lights and a little extra love for your children and your family, people, you know, give them a gift, signify. That's positive too. So leave each other alone about how you celebrate God. Let's. Can we not all get along?

[John Clay Wolfe]

We can't all get along.

[JD Ryan]

I believe you just said you just solved the world problems.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, what he said.

[JD Ryan]

Shut up. Get out. Get out.

[John Clay Wolfe]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[Bobbo]

Can we play this song now? Nowadays it's kind of a date rapey song, isn't it?

[John Clay Wolfe]

A little bit. Oh, I heard that. Yeah.

[Bobbo]

I don't know if it's easy to play.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's okay. But it, if you listen to the words, maybe it's cold outside.

[JD Ryan]

Stop it. Will you stop this?

[John Clay Wolfe]

She's saying no. He's trying to talk her into it.

[JD Ryan]

She's not saying no. First of all, she's flirting.

[Turley]

Hey, what's in this drink? It's J, E, L L O.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right back in the hole, Brad and Choctaw, Oklahoma. An 11 Jeep Wrangler with 124 wheel drive. Right hand drive is going to be. Is it, is it a hard top or soft top?

[Caller/Guest]

Hard top.

[John Clay Wolfe]

$8,000. 8,500. Yeah. The mail carriers, when they buy those secondhand jeeps, that means that the, the right hand drive jeeps. So like there's that there's a pecking order of mail guys, right? There's the guys with the good routes that can afford the new jeeps and they're the guys with the bad routes. So like do the mobile homes and they go around and do the mobile home and they get paid less to deliver the mail in the bad parts of towns in the rough roads so they have less money to spend on the right hand drive jeep.

[JD Ryan]

I thought the government gave him those.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No. What, Brad, did you have to buy your jeep or did the government give it to you?

[Caller/Guest]

We do. See, we have to buy them.

[JD Ryan]

That's ridiculous.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You need to get like a Hummer right hand drive and get a mail route in Highland Park, Texas or down in Memorial.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Then you'd be delivering the mail on a limousine.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, we got to buy them, we got to put tires on them, we got to fix them. All we get is money for gas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I got you. Well, you for me, you got 8,500, maybe nine grand. Go to givemetheven.com givemetheven.com Put in your VIN number or you can put in your license plate number and select Oklahoma and it'll pop right up. Our system will bid everybody's car immediately. It'll do a thousand cars a minute. It's, it's crazy. 800. 800. Well, there's no reason to call us, but oh yeah, we got another hour. That's right. You can stream it@john claywolf.com you can go to the podcast this afternoon, grab it and. And hour number four is coming up. I think Oklahoma City's fixing to start taking hour number four after the first of the year. And we're working with a couple more stations on it and we'll see you next week. Guys, we're losing otherwise. Hang on. We'll have lots of fun with Mr.

[Turley]

Snowman until the other kitties knock him down. When it snow ain't it thrilling Though.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Your nose gets chillin' we'll frolic and play the Eskimo way Just walkin talkin handing hand in a fancy we'll warn the land.

[Bobbo]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show presented by givemethevin.com.

[Commercial Announcer]

It'S that time.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Christmas time is Here.

[Commercial Announcer]

Everybody knows there's not a better time of year here.

[JD Ryan]

That sad.

[John Clay Wolfe]

On his way. You know? When I hear these songs I think of the scenes that they played in. I've watched it that many times. Yeah. My kids love this movie. I bet we watch it tonight. Actually. That's what we need to do.

[JD Ryan]

Polar Express. Elf. It's a Wonderful Life.

[Turley]

And this.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. The. The.

[JD Ryan]

The four.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The Quad Pack. Cluck Norris. Are you still. What do you. What. What are your favorite Christmas movies?

[JD Ryan]

Now? Clap. For those that don't know. This is the rooster that got arrested in Fort Worth for terrorizing the Stop six area. And they arrested him and they. Now we've adopted him in.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The stop 6 area is kind of a ghetto part of town.

[JD Ryan]

So he's a mean rooster.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And. And he's. He's. We've adopted him. And he's gonna ride with Uncle Roy to go pick up. Give me the VIN Cars. But right now Uncle Roy's making a run and Cluck's here with us.

[Turley]

You better know when you talking about somebody not a fool with you talking about me. Cluck.

[Caller/Guest]

You're mean.

[Turley]

See?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Cluck Norris.

[Turley]

My favorite Christmas movie. What's that? We like to watch the Godfather.

[JD Ryan]

It's good at Christmas.

[Turley]

How's that? And eyes wise shut. That's a good Christmas.

[JD Ryan]

That's not a Christmas meal.

[Turley]

There's a Christmas tree in every favorite scene of the film. You just don't understand Kubrick.

[JD Ryan]

I totally understand.

[Turley]

See? When Stanley Kubrick make a film.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

He means every inch of the film was not wasted.

[JD Ryan]

I don't. Didn't mean to upset you.

[Turley]

And the best of all of the Christmas movies.

[JD Ryan]

Feathers all ruffled.

[Turley]

What was a Die Hard?

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's with a vengeance.

[JD Ryan]

Die Hard.

[Turley]

It's practically a true story.

[JD Ryan]

It's not a true story.

[Turley]

When you get a cop. Played by Bruce Willis. I got you in a skyscraper in Los Angeles.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Chicken in it. Yeah.

[Turley]

And he got his shoes off. And walking on broken glass.

[JD Ryan]

Happened to be at Christmas time. It's not a Christmas.

[Turley]

Yippee K. I know.

[JD Ryan]

I know the rest. Stop. Just stop.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Norris.

[JD Ryan]

Just stop.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Really Sounds a lot like Jules from Pulp Fiction. He's got that same attitude. Too.

[JD Ryan]

Streetwise.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Say cluck one more time. I dare you.

[Turley]

I'm gonna tell y' all the truth right now.

[Caller/Guest]

Here we go.

[Turley]

The Pulp Fiction.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Is a quality film.

[JD Ryan]

It is a good film.

[Turley]

And there's people that try to say that Pulp F. Fiction is all about drugs. But it's not. It is kind of because if you watch closely, the scene in the pawn shop, Right? You know your pawn brokers, don't you? Yes. They're all as crooked as a bucket of snakes in the wintertime. You making me mad.

[JD Ryan]

You better calm down.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What's got high blood pressure? Hey, Clark, do you know what they call a Big Mac in France?

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Turley]

Yes, I did. And that was my favorite part of the movie. Royale with cheese.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, we got a smile on him. That's good. I think we need to leave him alone while he's happy, because I don't need. You need to save that anger for when you go up to Oklahoma to do your chicken fighting.

[Turley]

That's right, because my name is Cluck.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

And I'm ready to.

[JD Ryan]

No, you're not.

[Turley]

No, no, no, no.

[John Clay Wolfe]

800. 800. Seven, two, three, four. 800. 800 radio. Hey, Doug, the. The reason I haven't taken this. The miles on this car are so high, it's really not worth much. Did you already get it bid at a dealership on trade in. Doug, you still there? Lake Charles. Doug? Good morning. Lake Charles.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Did you already. Have you been. Have you been to a dealership yet to get a. Did you try to trade it in somewhere?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

When you've got 162,000 miles on a 10 Subaru Tribeca. Is it leather? Is it cloth?

[Caller/Guest]

Leather?

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think it's two. Two. Two to three grand. I'm not saying I'd give three, but I'm saying I'd give two to three grand, depending on the photos and the condition. The miles are just so high.

[Caller/Guest]

The miles is high, but the car is perfect inside and out until the.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Rod comes flying through the side wall of the moto block. And then it is a boat anchor because it ain't worth fixing because the miles too high. That's the problem is they. They. I mean, how. How long is it gonna make it? Who knows? Is it gonna make it to 180? Maybe. Is it gonna make it to 200,000 miles? Probably not. So really, you're just buying the. What's left? It's like. You ever had a gift card, Doug?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Have you ever had someone give you a gift card, like for Starbucks or Home Depot?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So it's $100 gift card. Right. And you charging it, charging it, charging it. Charge. And. And you get it under $10?

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, it's kind of a mystery when it's going to hit. And when you go to buy something, if you're gonna have enough to cover it. You might have to come out with some out of pocket. And that's where that. That car sitting. It's right there at the end. And one of these swipes, it's gonna blow and you're gonna have to dig into your wallet and pay the rest. And that's why it's only worth two grand. 800-800-7234.

[JD Ryan]

Merry Christmas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

800, 800 radio.

[Turley]

You learned so much.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That was a pretty good analogy.

[JD Ryan]

I might see you tell your kids Christmas little stories.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, I need to be a better dad. No, you're not. You're a great dad. I'm not a great dad.

[JD Ryan]

You do. Yeah, you do. You could. You write, you ride four wheelers out there in the country, you hang out.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I know. I have been a great dad.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But I'd say this year, no.

[JD Ryan]

Why?

[John Clay Wolfe]

I'm too busy. I've been busier this year than normal. I've been working.

[JD Ryan]

Company's been expanding.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. I've, been, you know, waking up at 7, 6:30 and working until 7 and then taking a break for about 30 minutes with them and then back at it till 11 at night.

[Turley]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Every night.

[JD Ryan]

That is a lot.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Every single.

[JD Ryan]

Is that a resolution for 2018?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, it'll be a resolution for 2019.

[Caller/Guest]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay. Yeah, I got another year of that left. But it'll be worth it. They'll be. There'll be. But like the things they used to do, like with Tabitha and Maddox, go to his football practice every day for two hours. There's absolutely no way, no way right now. Okay. Not even. I'd have to hire somebody to take my kid to football practice. Wow.

[Turley]

Huh?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. Well, that's pretty ridiculous, isn't it?

[JD Ryan]

No, it's just ridiculous. Busy.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But you got to make your choice how busy you want to be. I do.

[JD Ryan]

I was going to go down that road, but I thought now that's.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, here's the problem. I've been at this for so long and I've been working on this for so long that now it's all coming together and I've got to finish the. The job. And the job, the. The big picture of it looks bigger than I even I imagined. So. Yeah, I mean, it's like dedicating yourself to the. To the monastery for a few years.

[JD Ryan]

Short time, though. Short time. And. And you have a full time stay at home, Mom.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty heavy. But yeah, I mean, I. What, like the business model we're in short of the Radio.

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I, I literally had. You know how we have that wall there with the, with the whiteboard with the dry erase marker? In college, at my, at that time, ex wife's apartment, okay, she had a little, in her apartment, she had a little dining room and had a mirrored wall right there in the, in the next, the dining table. And I had this whole idea of what we're doing right now written in dry erase marker on that mirror because I use that mirror as a dry erase board. I never knew that. And that was in 1996.

[Turley]

Dude, Ron Howard ripped you off.

[John Clay Wolfe]

If I had a picture of that dryer, if I had a picture of that grass, of that plan I laid out on that wall. It looks a lot like what we're doing.

[Turley]

It's just like Beautiful Mind.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Isn't that weird?

[JD Ryan]

Dude, that is bizarre. I've never heard of this story.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, that's very true. Well, I didn't want to say it out loud because I didn't want her to come back and say that she's got to claim something imaginary people do.

[Turley]

What do you see? Imaginary people?

[John Clay Wolfe]

I see dead people.

[Turley]

Like the Beautiful Mind.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, the beautiful. I see my granddad bigger than or.

[Turley]

Just clear windows, man. You mean you see but then later going crazy. Still imaginary people. Okay, Ron Howard took your life and put it in that movie.

[JD Ryan]

What do you mean you see your granddad?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, I know. I absolutely see my granddad. I mean, I know he's not real. Oh, but, but I mean, I, like, I, I, I have, I have convers. My granddad's been dead since 82 or 83, and I have conversations with him that feel pretty real.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, but, but you don't see him see.

[Turley]

No.

[JD Ryan]

You feel his look.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, I can see. I mean, if I had my eyes closed, I can see him pretty clear talking to me, normal. And I saw a video over at my aunt's house at Thanksgiving, and he was in it, and I hadn't seen a video of him ever.

[Caller/Guest]

Really?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, never. Set Freaked me out to like, see, see, see him for real.

[JD Ryan]

Moving.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, it was weird, but it's all good, man. So, yeah, back to what mean, why am I, you know, so busy right now? That's, that's why, you know, you do something that long and it finally all comes together against all the odds. I mean, even, even when I was in college, I was graduating college in 96, everybody in business school, their plan, you know, their thesis, their magnum, their final project, everything was dot com, everything. Because 1996, the Internet had been activated for two. Two years. Four years.

[JD Ryan]

Four years wasn't a big deal.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I mean, so everybody's business plans, every single one of them were.com.com.com. and they were all. I mean everything was pretty much right, but I was. We studied FedEx and Fred Smith in Memphis, Tennessee or Nashville, Tennessee. Memphis. And I did mine on him. And that all kind of got this car thing in my brain. And the display distribution and the pickup.

[JD Ryan]

And the hub and distribution.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The hub and distribution. All that stuff. Yeah. So anyway.

[JD Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What are y' all doing?

[JD Ryan]

I have no idea. I'm going down to the beach. I won't be here next weekend. Where are you going? I'm going to Port Aransas. Just get near the ocean.

[Bobbo]

Wait, wait, so JD just said that he's not going to be.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So that's your.

[Bobbo]

You're telling us now that you're going to be time off tomorrow, next week, next weekend?

[JD Ryan]

Are we going to be here live?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, what, what day is New Year's Eve?

[Turley]

It's a Sunday.

[JD Ryan]

This will be New Year's Eve eve next Saturday.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I'll just do it solo.

[JD Ryan]

All by yourself?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Naked.

[JD Ryan]

Naked. Then you will be all by yourself.

[Turley]

You and Satan naked.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Alone.

[Turley]

Wow.

[JD Ryan]

I'm gonna tune in for this.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I might have a loincloth. I don't know. We're not going anywhere. I mean, and we're kind of skipping our vacations this year because I'm just working through it.

[Turley]

You're working through it?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

You guys normally take off and go to Aspen or someplace?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, listen to you. Don't. Don't boy me like that. Don't you boy me like that.

[JD Ryan]

You boredy like go to ski then.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Pagosa Springs.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, you take your private jet up to Pagosa Springs.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I don't have a private jet, but.

[JD Ryan]

It sounded better for the story.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay. I have a 1972 Beechcraft Baron that's out of annual and the motors are timed out.

[JD Ryan]

Didn't nobody let you fly in a jet one time though. Fly on a vacation to a jet?

[John Clay Wolfe]

I did. I had to buy the gas.

[JD Ryan]

I know, but that was cool. That was cool. I'm not boying you at all. God, I just think it's cool. You have a cool life.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Ah, it's. I mean I live in my grandparents house. 1955.

[JD Ryan]

You pay for, I pay for. What do you mean don't you pay? You told me you paid something on that, on that house.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh yeah, yeah. I bought it for my dad. Yeah, you bought it so he Inherited it for free, and I had to buy it from him.

[JD Ryan]

But that's cool. But the way you said it, it's like I live in my grandparents. It's like you live in somebody's basement. You don't. You pay for the house.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, I mean, you know, I drive used cars.

[JD Ryan]

Very nice. New, new used cars.

[Turley]

JD's like, hosting the Steve Harvey show. I'm telling you, he wants to know everything.

[JD Ryan]

I just like John's life. I think John's life, honestly, could be a movie. This is the things I. When I tell people the background.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Maybe you make stuff up.

[JD Ryan]

No, you don't make stuff up. But the background story to how you got here is amazing. And I'm not blowing my dad.

[John Clay Wolfe]

My mom had been drinking it or she wouldn't have ever let him.

[JD Ryan]

Talking about that. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the motorcycle accident and being embezzled and out of business and rebuilding.

[Caller/Guest]

It's.

[JD Ryan]

It's an amazing story.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, but there's a lot of amazing stories. I'm not trying to discount it, but, you know, I think about that. I've heard that story enough now. I mean, there. There are a lot of amazing stories. People that, you know are, like, eating up with cancer and come back all the way. There's that kid. I mean, there's people who are, you know, defaced from accidents.

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And look at Stephen. What's that guy's name? Who's the guy that can't talk very good in a wheelchair?

[JD Ryan]

Hawkins.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He can't. Can he talk at all?

[Turley]

No.

[Bobbo]

Through a computer.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And my name is David Hawking. I am a genius.

[Turley]

Some days the sun will burn and we will all perish. It creeps me out to this day, every time I hear him talk, it keeps me out.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What's he talk about?

[Turley]

Man, When I was 11 years old, I enjoyed playing Mrs. Pac Man. I got 200,000 points with no strawberries. Doesn't it freak you out? It kind of freaks me out a little bit.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Was that. Was that movie about him? Was it true? Is he really that smart?

[Turley]

I always thought Back in Black was a better album than Dirty Deeds Done Dirt cheap.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So he has good taste in music. But I disagree. I think. I think highway to Hell was the best AC DC album of all time. Merry Christmas.

[JD Ryan]

Maybe I should have taken. I should have taken.

[Bobbo]

There it is.

[Randy the Squirrel]

I always wondered what was wrong.

[Caller/Guest]

With Gilligan.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Why does Gilligan always screw things up for the other castaways? I don't think that's the Right.

[JD Ryan]

Every level.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Why does he. What?

[JD Ryan]

You had it right. Just go away.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Ethan Hawking. Do you think they should ban Internet porn?

[Randy the Squirrel]

I think Internet porn is very enjoyable. Except for the ones with the cheerleaders. They're obviously too old to be cheerleaders.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Gonna go out with that? We'll be back in a minute.

[Bobbo]

Givemethevin.com presents the John Clay One Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We'll be right back after this.

[Commercial Announcer]

Givemetheven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeTheEven.com They've completely changed the car business.

[Turley]

So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[JD Ryan]

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

[Bobbo]

Givemethevin.com and now back to the John Clay wolf show.

[Caller/Guest]

You are the best radio personality I've heard.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Call in 800.

[Bobbo]

800 radio, presented by gimmethevin.com.

[John Clay Wolfe]

This is making me sad. It's making me thirsty too. This is sitting in the. Near the fireplace with a cocktail. Kind of by the tree.

[Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Kind of music.

[Bobbo]

Whiskey and ice.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, that's. This is tonight music, isn't it?

[Bobbo]

Yeah. Christmas Eve, Christmas night, Monday through Friday.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Wait, wait, Stephen Hawking's back.

[Caller/Guest]

Back in the day, we used to enjoy a bloody mary for breakfast. That was when I could drink without a straw. I really miss celery.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Listen, dude, we can't do this on Christmas to see you.

[Turley]

We can't.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I mean, you're going to. People are going to start writing letters to the radio stations. Everybody's going to complain and it's going to be hard. I sit down in these boardrooms and get chewed out by these program directors. Yes. And that's what I tell them. I, I try to pull cards out of my butt like that. But when, when, when you're doing that, I can't. I, I can't cover for you, man. I mean, there's a. There's just Asperger's. Do you remember that whole bit?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Asperger's is not burger ass. Burger ass is when you ate too much hamburger, Right? Oh, yeah. Romero.

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That got me in all kinds of trouble. That was a year ago.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And I had to answer for that last week.

[JD Ryan]

God.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What do you think of that? Stephen Hawking I can't believe it.

[Bobbo]

It's because of the podcast, probably, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Asperger's can be a very serious disorder.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I do not suffer from it.

[JD Ryan]

Fun.

[John Clay Wolfe]

My son, he has. Well, this isn't with the AI spectrum. They said if anybody has a kid that's listening that has a child or knows a child in the AI spectrum, they'd be highly offended. I was like, well, time out. My kid is. I'm not gonna say which one, but, yeah, he's got. Take pills for it.

[Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And he's got a hell of a sense of humor. Yeah. But he would think that Burger Ass is funny.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, that's what I was saying. It wasn't. It wasn't anything about the disease or the name of it, but Stephen misunderstood.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Stephen. I can't. I mean, I forgot what I was gonna say. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Obviously, we're live, and it is the week before Christmas. Romero Romo is in the house. Boy, Tony Romo's father and I also had to answer to that the other day. Nobody in Houston cares about Tony Romo's dad. Well, it's not about Tony Romo's dad. It's about the character in the story.

[JD Ryan]

And now Tony Romo happens to be nationwide as a broadcaster.

[John Clay Wolfe]

This is a good point.

[JD Ryan]

He's not just a Dallas Cowboy.

[Turley]

Feliz Navidad. I told you. And yours, everybody.

[JD Ryan]

Feliz Navidad.

[Turley]

The people in Houston should probably remember there are about maybe two and a half more torn SCLs from being the home of the Tony Romo.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, really?

[Turley]

You never know.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You never, never, never know.

[Turley]

I'm so happy today, though. You know, it's the Christmas time, and I thought it would be a nice time to tell just the story of the hero of the holidays, the herald of the holidays. Yes, I learned the story from Abice Buelo, my great grandfather. Oh, I know my great grandfather Romo. As a little child. Many years ago, in the time of the Santa Ana, in the mountains of Guadalajara, there lived a gentle old soul named Pablo Noel.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Humble.

[Turley]

And Pablo was a humble merchant of the El Estamota, the marijuana.

[JD Ryan]

Marijuana.

[Turley]

But back then, they did not just use the motor portals, getting high or listening to Pink Floyd and eating the delicious sugar bears. It was just for the sacred holy ties to help the peoples to come closer to heaven, signify their devotion to the Holy Ghost.

[JD Ryan]

Really.

[Turley]

And also because the Catholic Mass at the time of Christmas can last an hour and a half a time, and it will Keep the parishioners from getting aboard during the service and go away before they got paid. And the senior Noel was wealthy. As many motor entrepreneurs today. His sold his grass to the poor over the community for a price that was very reasonable.

[Caller/Guest]

Really.

[Turley]

And even would trade for his shoes humanitarian. And under clothing and even livestock. Also by chance he had shoes that were not so stylish. When he always wore the same red suit made by his neighbors mother in law only had a whole head over the giant desert mule deer.

[JD Ryan]

Have you seen that mule deer? I've seen them.

[Turley]

They're huge.

[JD Ryan]

They're big.

[Turley]

Very big. He would hook up his dearest mule deer to his chop chord full of marijuana.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Turley]

On deliver to the poor mothers and fathers over the valley. Now, many of the poor mothers and fathers at the time were 14 years old. Sometimes 15.

[JD Ryan]

All right.

[Turley]

Sometimes 19 if they were really ugly.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Ugly.

[Turley]

Yes. You know all about it.

[JD Ryan]

I got it. I got it.

[Turley]

And he would take it to them in the maron and they would ride it for the toys for their children. And they always had many children. And they would say, thank you, Papa Noel. We have a the toys.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay.

[Turley]

And really good smoke. And everyone had a wonderful nava.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

L D wasn't lis a nice time.

[JD Ryan]

It was a beautiful time. It was a wonderful, wonderful Christmas time.

[Turley]

Story of Papa Noel.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, man. I get warm cockles in my heart.

[Turley]

I remember when Tony and Jaime were very little.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

And I would telling the story of Papa. No.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, really?

[Turley]

And they would take of their lifesavers and try to kill each other. It was a wonderful time for Christmas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yes.

[Turley]

I love the navy, Dad. I will eat drinking the eggnog until I fall down.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Turley]

And let Tony drive me home.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, Romero, since you're Hispanic in nature.

[Turley]

What do you mean by this?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, I know, you know, in Texas I've noticed like a lot of people have tamales on Christmas Eve.

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Like they want to act like they're Mexicans.

[Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

For some reason. So I was wondering, what do Mexican people do on Christmas Eve?

[Turley]

The tamales is what they do. You knew where this tradition come from?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No.

[Turley]

Back in the day, and I believe it was a Saturday, the genius women of the Mexican culture said, how can we make an enchilada that you can eat with your hands that will look just like a great big joint. And the tamale was born.

[JD Ryan]

Happy Christmas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thank you. Thank you, Romero. Thank you.

[JD Ryan]

Thank you.

[Turley]

Please be careful with your marijuana.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Good morning, you're on the air. Who's this?

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, this is Lynn Hey, Lynn. I sold a car to y' all this morning.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, good. Hey, where you coming from?

[Caller/Guest]

Calling from south, Louisiana.

[John Clay Wolfe]

All right. Did the big old strip club come pick your car up?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I'll tell you what, it was Two hip. Two hippies and a prostitute, and everything went well.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Good, good. I mean, you know, we. We. We try to keep everybody busy during the holiday season.

[Caller/Guest]

That's what I'm saying. I mean, it's great. No, I sold a 2014 heavy SS and y' all ended up giving me 2000 more than your business.

[John Clay Wolfe]

How?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it was a mistake. Christmas present.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Did we. Did we really. Did we really give you 2,000 more than what, like, was on the purchase order?

[Caller/Guest]

No, you didn't.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, okay. You were making me really sad. I was like, man, I wasn't as mad about the giving you 2,000 extra. I mean, that sucks. But I was like, is my system that screwed up where we can't control that? Really?

[Turley]

I've been.

[Caller/Guest]

Y' all did give me 2000 more than go get me on trade. So that's a good deal.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, good, good, good. It was one of those little Chevy SS's. Is that what it is?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. 2014, 38,000 miles. Excellent condition. The people were local that came pick it up, and everything went great, man. I really appreciate.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. How long did you. How. How long had you had the car?

[Caller/Guest]

I bought it off the showroom floor. 2014.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And where did you. Where were you going to trade in.

[Caller/Guest]

A couple of local courtesy and Bruce Sword and Race.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Those guys just need to call us, man. If they just like, we could have done the in and out with them. I buy cars from those guys. I buy the trade ins already. I need to get it. I need to get smarter about that. Here's the problem. A lot of times when. When they get the. Our car that we bought from you and they trade it in, then when we go to pick it up, they. They don't not. Courtesy doesn't. They don't. They're good about it, but I'd give these dealers more deals if they wouldn't screw me out of my cars whenever they get traded in.

[Caller/Guest]

We tried to do a courtesy trade, but it didn't work out with Courtesy and Bruce hard.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, I'll talk to courtesy because I bought 3,000 cars from them over the past seven years. Seriously, that many? So we. I just need to get them and my customers. Our. Our customers linked up. Were where. Because you guys would be the ones that win because you'd get the tax credit. You know what I mean?

[Caller/Guest]

Right?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yep. Thanks, Glenn. Hey, no, that's not Glenn. That's miss. This is Glenn in Baton Rouge. Glenn, good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, good morning, John. How y'? All.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I'm just having fun, just wrapping it up, winging it, figuring we're in holiday mode.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. I got a nice Camaro that runs great.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay, what is it?

[Caller/Guest]

It's a 2013 ZL1.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I love the way those steering wheels feel on those cars. That foamy, grippy thing. It's cool. I took one of those cars out. There's a track up here in Dallas called Crescent Motorsports Ranch, Texas Motorsports Ranch. And I did about 10 laps in one of those, and it was really good on the track.

[Caller/Guest]

600 horsepower when they got.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, it'll get it. I've got a demon on order. It should be in any day. I'm excited about that.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Good.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay. So what color is your car?

[Caller/Guest]

Look, it's red. 14, 000 miles.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Good miles.

[Caller/Guest]

Got the sunroof.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Automatic. And it's in good shape. I'll take. I took care of it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's a 30 grand rig.

[Caller/Guest]

It's a 30 grand? Yeah, that's kind of what I was figuring.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yep. And I. I'll. I'll pay 30 grand. I can. I wouldn't give 30,005, but I'd give 30.

[Caller/Guest]

I think the trade in was a little bit more than that.

[John Clay Wolfe]

MMR on its 29. 4, which is the average values. I'm looking at a computer, like a comp screen of everything that's sold in the past six weeks. And an average MMR, 14,000 miles, 29, 4. So I'm hitting it six grand over that. And I mean 600 over that. And then I gotta, you know, I gotta haul it. I gotta pay 200 to get it home. But. Yeah, but that's the kind of cars I buy down there. When I'm down in south Louisiana, I always buy this big, pretty stuff because I can give a little bit more. Because we're in Dallas. I mean, the market's. There's. It's simple math. There's, yeah, 6 million people up here, here, and down there combined. There's what, two? Maybe. Maybe one and a half? No, hell, maybe just one. What's New Orleans population?

[JD Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I don't know. But Baton rouge is about 700,000. So figure there's about one and a half combined. So it's just. It's just math. And there's a lot of, you know, people. There's just Better market for luxury and expensive cars on the used end in Dallas. Even. Even more so in Houston. I've been buying cars out of Houston wholesaling, selling them in Dallas for 20 years. I don't know why. It's always been that way. It's always been that way.

[Caller/Guest]

So anyway, be honest. I don't think I'm gonna be able to let it go for that though. Joe. I appreciate it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yes, Sir. Have fun. 800-800-Radio. Be right.

[Bobbo]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolfe show after this. Presented by givemethevin.com if you don't have.

[Commercial Announcer]

Your 17 digit VIN number, no sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your [e-mail] if they don't beat CarMax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Givemethevin.com they've completely changed the car business.

[Turley]

Givemethevin.com so easy. You can do it and you're underwear.

[John Clay Wolfe]

And now we return to the John.

[Bobbo]

Clay Wolf show, presented by givemetheven.com I.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Just wanted to call, call in, tell.

[Caller/Guest]

You how much I love you so.

[Bobbo]

800, 800 radio.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Give me the van, the V. Wow. Does Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nick still get along?

[Turley]

I think so.

[John Clay Wolfe]

There.

[Turley]

Nobody has mentioned any kind of trouble in that band. It's just they've been doing it for 40 years and they didn't have like a 15 year break like the Eagles did, you know?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right.

[Turley]

Lindsay Buckingham and Christine McVie did it like a duet album last year and it's outstanding.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I've never been to a Mac show of you. No, I need to like to.

[Turley]

I saw Stevie Nicks with Don Henley this year. That was cool.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know where?

[Turley]

At the American Airlines Center.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, that birthday party. Don Henley's. You went to that? Yeah. How was that?

[Turley]

Awesome.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Was it the best? Yeah.

[Turley]

Joe Walsh was there, Tim Schmidt. It was basically an Eagles concert. The second half.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Was it?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Stevie single. Did Stevie Nick sing with?

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Does she sing Eagle songs?

[Turley]

They did well. They did their duet Leather and Lace and then she would not leave the stage and she just danced with the background singers and played tambourine the rest of the show.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Really?

[Turley]

Yeah, it was cool. It was really cool.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Did it sound like an Eagle show? It probably did, yeah. We had Joe Walsh, Don Henley and the other guy, Tim Schmidt and the new guitar guy. He's the High pitched guy, right? Yeah, high pitch.

[Turley]

Eric and the Indian looking guy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, Long hair.

[Turley]

It's a great show.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Speaking of, how's your hair coming?

[Turley]

How's mine coming? It's big.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Did you cut it yet? Let's see.

[Turley]

No, you understand.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, I was thinking about that wig because you're.

[Turley]

Yeah, it's great radio.

[John Clay Wolfe]

See how long it is real quick. Yeah. Oh, wow, Bobbo, you look like the drummer for Iron Maiden.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You know, I was thinking about that wigs for kids thing because you're going to cut your hair and give it the kid. But you know, the poor kid will never pass a drug test for the rest of his life.

[Turley]

I hadn't thought of that.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Why don't you give him your fingernails too? So you really go to jail.

[Caller/Guest]

That's really too bad. Drugs are bad. Don't do them unless you're sure no one can see you.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Lenny, Good morning, you're on the air.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, how you doing, John?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Good. What station you listen to us on?

[Caller/Guest]

98.1.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. What have you got, sir?

[Caller/Guest]

It's a 2016 Chevy Colorado LT loaded up.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is. Is it the four two wheel drive?

[Caller/Guest]

It's the two wheel drive.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Four cylinder or six cylinder?

[Caller/Guest]

It's six cylinder, three hundred and five horsepower. And I got. Just rolled over thirteen thousand miles on it. And I've never zeroed out my trip odometer. And it's getting 21 miles per gallon now. Pulling, Pulling trailers, whatever.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's. It's an LT, it's not a Z71 and it's a crew cab, not an extended cab.

[Turley]

Right?

[Caller/Guest]

That's right. It's a crew cab.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yep.

[Caller/Guest]

They got a large back seat and both the driver and passenger seats are power leather heated.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It is leather. Okay, good. And it's 14. What color is it?

[JD Ryan]

I.

[Caller/Guest]

You know, I don't know what the name of it is, but I would call it a. Like a charcoal type of gray or silver.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think. Such a great rig with leather. It is a 23.5-24-grand rig.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What are you gonna trade it in on?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, you know what, I'm. I'm not. It's. It's the. My favorite truck I've ever had. And it's so easy to get around. And it's comfortable.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You sound like a Chevy salesman. It's got dual power seats. Backup cam has that new car smell. Look at the blue still on the white. Letter tires.

[Turley]

Cop brakes, cop shops, cop. Catalytic converter.

[Caller/Guest]

It actually does. My wife always give me static about putting plastic down on the floor and the seats when I go out camping.

[John Clay Wolfe]

John, I was actually just calling you today to tell you about how much I love my new Chevrolet Colorado.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, you know, if it was a price that got my attention, then, yeah, I might think about it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right. It doesn't sound like you're ready to leave her yet.

[Bobbo]

Yet, no.

[Caller/Guest]

No, it's not.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think you sound. Did you ever see that video of the guy that was in love with his car and he was, like, trying to have sex with it?

[Caller/Guest]

I may have been accused of that once.

[John Clay Wolfe]

All right, thank you for calling in. What did he call in about? I don't know.

[Bobbo]

Just to tell you about his Colorado.

[Turley]

I mean, he.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We're one step away from him starting to read everything off the window sticker. You know, it gets 22.3 miles per gallon. I've never reset the trip meter. Dual power seats, dual heated seats. It's called gray, but it's tech tight, gray, metallic.

[Bobbo]

I'm never gonna get rid of it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's always the holiday weekends, man, is when weird stuff happens. I love these shows. I love these shows. They're just weird. Everybody's just in a weird mood and does weird stuff. Everybody's been drinking is what the damn truth is. Somebody called me on a Ferrari. I want to buy something freaking crazy right before we go, like a McLaren. That dude in Arkansas that I was jacking with last night on the McLaren. If you're listening, call. Let's argue. He's got a 32,000 mile McLaren. I mean, that is. That is so many miles on a McLaren.

[Bobbo]

Oh, it's not the greatest color either.

[JD Ryan]

And it's what, when you're old.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Old. Three. It's three years old. It's a supercar. You don't drive supercars like, they're Ford Fusions. Can you imagine taking that car to work every single day?

[Bobbo]

Not comfortable. Can't be.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He has to work, like as a lawyer or something personal, like, we were solo, cuz. I mean, nobody would work for a prick like that rolling in in a McLaren every day. Hang on. Y' all want to go to lunch? Yeah, I could jump in my McLaren. Oh, there's only room for one of you. We'll just take the prettiest one. Which one of y' all is the prettiest? Oh, yeah, you can get in. Hey, we were gonna go the lake. We throw those beers in the back of my McLaren. I mean, no, it doesn't have a trailer hitch on it, but I was thinking about it We. We can.

[Randy the Squirrel]

We'll.

[John Clay Wolfe]

We'll take it camping. My God. People that have supercars, typically it's their. It's their third or fourth car. Sure. And it sits in the garage and they just lick the paint on it and then they take it out every once in a while.

[JD Ryan]

Beautiful day.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Never let their children even sit in it. So, I mean, these Ferraris and Lamborghinis we buy, they'll have five owners in 3,000 miles. I'm serious. I see it all the time. I've seen Go. Go to the. Go to Lamborghini of Dallas and go to their inventory and start carfaxing them. And you will see eight owners, six owners under 10,000, trade them like trading cards. Yeah, they're like motorcycles. So they get them and they have them for three months and they. Well, I want something different. We just bought a Ferrari from a guy down in South Louisiana. I mean, it's not even gone. And he was calling, wanting it back, and then I was. And then he said, no, go get me a S class, twin turbo. He had a Lamborghini right before that. Just. I don't understand how rich people think like that. I don't get it.

[Caller/Guest]

I dropped. That's probably me.

[Bobbo]

I didn't know Stephen Hawkins could drive.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I didn't know you could drive either.

[Caller/Guest]

I still have to make a Target this weekend.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Just a normal old guy, man. Just a good old guy. Stephen Hawking, you know, dips a little snuff, drinks a little Budweiser.

[JD Ryan]

Walmart. People who would know.

[Caller/Guest]

Colorado.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Made by Chevron. Hey, Joe. 14Z71, 47,000 mile double cab. So it's got the small back doors, it's four wheel drive, it's got navigation. Is it cloth or leather?

[Caller/Guest]

Cloth.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Where are you calling from?

[Caller/Guest]

Jonesville, Louisiana.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Jonesville, Louisiana.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I'm about an hour out of Natchez in Louisiana, which.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So you're listening to us on that New Orleans station. What station you listen to us on?

[Caller/Guest]

No, right now I'm headed. I'm in Baton Rouge, headed down to my daughter's house for Christmas, and I just heard y' all on the radio talking about them. I said, and I've been thinking about trading mine in. I said, shoot, I'll just give them a call.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Caller/Guest]

It's a one owner. Cut. I bought it brand new. I'm 57 years old. Nobody else has ever drove it, you know, And I take care of my stuff.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Sure. 47,000 miles. What color?

[Caller/Guest]

His wife.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Natchez, Mississippi. How long have you lived there?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I've been up there. I'm from South Suzanne. I moved up there about 15 years ago.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I've got a good friend from Faraday. That's why I asked.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I moved to Faraday. I moved up there and bought a fishing lodge and kept it several years and then got tired of that, so I sold it. I moved to Jonesville on Black River Lake.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, this truck, if it's straight cloth, just like you're saying, it's a $22,000 truck.

[Caller/Guest]

That's about what I figured. Yeah. What I've looked at, you know, KBB and nada. That's. That's about what I figured. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yep. But you know what those are? Those are cheerleaders. There's a difference between a cheerleader and a check rider.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Thanks for calling 800-800-723-4. Save yourself the dial because we've got one minute left. Just go to givemetheven. Givemetheven.com. if you don't have your VIN number, just put in your license plate number, and our system will automatically decode your vin, assuming that your car is registered. If it's been sitting for two years and the registration's out on it, it may not pull it. But, yeah, the. The license plate maneuvers been very effective for our customers.

[JD Ryan]

So much easier.

[John Clay Wolfe]

17 digits is a lot to keep up with.

[JD Ryan]

Just missed by one.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The best thing is on Facebook where people like this, the old 60. The. The angry white male. Okay, I would never give you my VIN number. What do you want next? My checking account number. You know you're gonna come get me and steal all my stuff if I give you your VIN number. No, no. It's not a scam number.

[JD Ryan]

That's not.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I promise. It's just a VIN number. It's just a car, man.

[JD Ryan]

License plate.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The license plates give away more information than the VIN. We got to go. J.D.

[JD Ryan]

Merry Christmas.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Merry Christmas, Bobo. Merry Christmas, Turley, Anthony, D.J. pre K and Zach and Magnolia. Feel. Just put it in the website. I appreciate it. See y' all later. Come look at the show. Oh, we're riding in the wonderland of snow Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up it's grand just holding your hand we're riding along with a song of a.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Wonder wonderland I cheeks are nice and.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Rosy and comfy cozy on we and maybe snug it up together like two Bridge of a feather could be, be let's take the row before us and sing a chorus or two Come on. Is a lovely weather boy right together with you Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up. Let's go. Come look at the show we're riding in the wonderland of snow Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up it's crazy just holding your hand we're riding along with the song of a winter wonderland.

[Turley]

Are we on right now?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. Hey, so, Mike, there's absolutely no certain that we are disconnected from Westwood One. There's no way in God's green Earth that we're going to get busted for an FCC violation.

[Turley]

Oh, man, you killed the satellite, dude.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. And if you're a program director and you're listening to this, understand that this is recorded podcast. It is not on the air, so don't use this against me when we're talking about continent content.

[Caller/Guest]

The following podcast is not the responsibility of the John Clay Wolf show or.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Any radio stations that provide it.

[Caller/Guest]

We've been kidnapped and held against our will.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So, Stephen Hawking, what are you gonna do for Christmas?

[Caller/Guest]

First, I'd like to buy a Chevy Colorado.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Huh?

[Caller/Guest]

And then I'll get my wife into the back seat and try to get it on.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You have to. You have to talk slower because your computer is not keeping up with you.

[Caller/Guest]

There are times that I used to play chess when I could move my fingers. Now I have to play with my mind.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Well, you were mentioning Internet, like dirty pictures the other day. Speaking of, how does that work?

[Caller/Guest]

Lost my work.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Lost work.

[Caller/Guest]

Either way, I'm offended by the word fuck, because I can't.

[John Clay Wolfe]

How does it feel to be. Would you rather be rich and disabled or poor and able?

[Caller/Guest]

It's kind of a shame, because when friends say, show me the money, I can't.

[John Clay Wolfe]

But you drive a Lamborghini, but you have to have a driver driving around in it.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, My driver's name is Bombapa. I found her in the Congo.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Now, you had some children. So you've made love to a woman before. Well, thank you again. And I'm. I'm so thankful for the donation of $2 million that you made to the show and our charity. Yeah, your manager over there wrote the check yesterday.

[Caller/Guest]

I've been ripped off.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Why, guy? Why. Why do you feel ripped off?

[Caller/Guest]

You are evil.

[Turley]

We could. We could really get weird with that.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You car people.

[Turley]

Car people.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I'll tell you what I love. I love the Cluck Norris. That's funny. Awesome. Cluck Norris is my new favorite character.

[Turley]

Man, you never know. You know, we were. Look, Turley and I, you know, I had kind of a near disaster with losing all my job label Files and I came across something called Bart the Donkey. Do you remember him?

[John Clay Wolfe]

No.

[Turley]

I don't either. But there's a whole little like minute long script that we wrote for the guy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What character?

[Turley]

I don't know. I assume he was kind of like the dog boys. And he had old spiel about how strip club brought him out in a trailer. And it was really rainy down there and I've been standing in two feet of water for six weeks. It's hard to meet a female in those conditions. And one of the. Eric, your buyer said he's gonna take me to a party and I'm the guest of honor. Won't that be nice? I don't know what it was. It was something from way back.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Strip club is staying busy. Yeah. Picking up cars. He and his mom are running. Can you imagine having that crew roll up to your door with a check?

[Turley]

No, I think it's awesome to pick.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Up a Corvette for $50,000 and looking at his big goofy ass and those flip flops like it's, you know, it's freezing outside. He's wearing flip flops and shorts. Everything from Walmart. Everything.

[JD Ryan]

Stuffing himself in your Corvette.

[Caller/Guest]

Marriage.

[Turley]

I think the wolf people are here to get the car. It looks like Fred Flintstone.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I mean, I wonder what it sounds like. We need to have him record himself when he meets people. Yeah, and play it.

[Turley]

That would be cool.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What do you think it'd sound like?

[Turley]

Hello, I am Kulag from the wolf pack, here to buy your car. Here's a check. Do you have any fresh water? Because I suffer from a condition where I dehydrate really easily. And once I got so dehydrated that my esophagus stopped working and my eyes wouldn't make any tears. And it was really bad because I had just watched Brian Song with my father in law and I wanted to cry my eyes out, but I couldn't and I got the pink eye. Do you have any Vicks?

[JD Ryan]

He does have a condition almost all.

[John Clay Wolfe]

The time on everything. The reason he couldn't come back up here and live is he's scared of the cameras.

[Turley]

The cameras.

[JD Ryan]

Like they don't have him in Louisiana.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Right. He is just perfect for. For. He said he's the damnedest character.

[Turley]

Do you think he really. Do you think that's authentic? Like he has like a neurosis?

[JD Ryan]

I think he believes he does.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think he's a perfect, perfect example of being over mothered.

[Turley]

I wouldn't call a guy a liar, but I mean, he used to live in the deepest, darkest heart of Dallas. And take the train and then the bus to work here every day. And now he can't even stand to be in the state. That seems to me on the surface.

[JD Ryan]

On the surface, like.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Like maybe he might be full of it.

[Caller/Guest]

Could be a very well designed excuse, maybe.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Or he's just a freak show looking for attention.

[Turley]

I don't know.

[JD Ryan]

He's on disability from the state.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, yeah.

[JD Ryan]

You keep playing the game the way the checks keep coming.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He might like the men meds. The meds might be tasty.

[Turley]

There are tasty meds.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Can you imagine if that big got mad, start whipping your ass? It'd be like watching. It's like the Hulk in the movies, right? It would be that weird.

[Turley]

Exactly that weird.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Turley, did you ever see him get angry and start whipping him?

[Bobbo]

No, I've never seen him.

[JD Ryan]

You go in the fetal position and you just wait for it to stop.

[Turley]

Cover your head.

[JD Ryan]

As big as your head, big guy. Big guy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He would just beat you to a bloody pulp. He would just kill you with his bare hands and then start crying about it.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, Then he would cry. You're right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I accidentally snapped his neck.

[Bobbo]

Like the mouse. I pitted the mouse too hard.

[Turley]

And it sounds like we're talking a guy down. I would never do it because we all love strip club, man. Right?

[John Clay Wolfe]

But you know, how about his Facebook post?

[Turley]

That's. I was going to say when you said strip club's really busy, I was thinking. And it's not nearly busy enough. I'm saying. Have you read his?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, it's just. Look at me, look at me, look at me. And it's not me. It's so bad. It is like that. What do you think of me? Do you like me? What do I do that you don't like?

[Turley]

I has the squishy on my lap. Jealous much?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Very odd. Very.

[Turley]

No strip club. No. Nobody's jealous much.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I wish he would move back up here and be a buyer. I know.

[Turley]

Oh, it'll be fun.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He was good at it.

[Randy the Squirrel]

Really?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Oh, he's great on the phone.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He's great on the phone. People love him. Yeah. When they see him in person, he's just so massive. He looks like a character out of a DC Films movie.

[Turley]

Dude.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Do you remember going to the dealerships in the old days, Turley? And we used to have to deal with sales managers and, you know, the used car managers in places. And we'd walk in and we didn't dress formally or anything. I mean, we were, you know, Self employed, you know, looking guys, but strip club, man. Just like you say. The flip flop. The old timey 1977 flip flops. Blue and white stripe straps, one and a half inch rubber on the bottom. Flip flops.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Size 17.

[Turley]

Yeah, size 17. A boat. Got a big toe that looks like the front of a Buick.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Turley]

The used car manager. I'll Never forget. Nissan McKenna walked in and he looked at Turnley and he looked at me and he got less and less, you know, impressed as he went down the line and he looked at strip club and he stopped at strip club and he looked him up, he looked him down and he looked him up again and turned to Turley and ignored me and strip club for the rest of that trip. We were like a couple of hobos.

[Bobbo]

John, you didn't like when we'd show.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Up with the whole crew. Kelly and her huge titties. Huge titties. Like her titties were as big as strip club's big toe.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobbo]

They were just not normal.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It looked like a clown car. Yeah, yeah.

[Turley]

Oh, but rolling down the highway.

[JD Ryan]

J.D.

[Turley]

We would just laugh and laugh, man. Just the four of us. That could have been a show right there.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It was supposed to be. It was briefly, out of all those, the. I actually watched a little bit of that first clip we did that sizzle we did. God, six years ago. Yeah, yeah, that was pretty good.

[Bobbo]

I like that one, but. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Really? Yeah, I did, too. And the other one, I really didn't. I didn't hate it, but I didn't like it. The king of cars.

[Bobbo]

A lot of producing in it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. And then the one we did for. There's three of them on the. If you go to give me the Vin and Click videos, there's the three sizzle reels we did for, like, demos for TV shows.

[Turley]

Oh, those are up.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, they've been up for a long time.

[Turley]

Just show my mom.

[John Clay Wolfe]

They're hidden. You got to know where to look. But yeah, they're there. But the only good one is the. The deal. But we. So we did have Playmates on the Saturday show. Yeah, we did, didn't we? We did the pre record with them.

[Turley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

[John Clay Wolfe]

So now they've got. They got trannies in Playboy.

[Bobbo]

That's what transgenders are in Playboy. I mean, or they're open for it. I don't. I have not seen it. I just know that was part of what Hugh Hefner's son said is it's. You know, he's changing it's gonna be a new direction.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Are they going naked again?

[Bobbo]

Yeah, they are naked. And it's kind of more like your next door. Not real.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Your next door training.

[Bobbo]

No, next door neighbor.

[Turley]

Supposed to be the girl next door. That's what Playboy always was.

[Bobbo]

Well, they've gone. Well, I got away from that. Yeah, they went with fake and everything. Now it's real. Just natural. All natural.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Cool. The natural boobs.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, some of it's not all good. Yes, there's hair there.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah, but. But are fake titties not allowed?

[Bobbo]

He didn't say that. But in the article he did say it was going to be open to transgender.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What if the fake titty girls sued for, you know.

[JD Ryan]

Ah, discrimination?

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. What if the fake titty boys sued for discrimination? Who knows what anything is anymore, you know? Have you noticed, Bob, when we were little, we're watching those sci fi shows. Buck Rogers and Star wars and what were the other ones? Battlestar Galactica, man. A lot of that weirdo is like kind of come into play now.

[Turley]

Heavy metal cartoon.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yep, yep. It's like reality now.

[Turley]

Three titties, man. I'm. I'm. That's why I'm trying to get healthy now.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Why?

[Turley]

Because one of these days, what they're gonna be, you know, if you can put tits on a guy that look good.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

Why can't you put a third one on a good looking woman? Three titties.

[John Clay Wolfe]

That. Is that, Is that your campaign slogan.

[Turley]

For the, for the price of one? I don't know. Some old buddy of mine, years ago, he had a book and it was a comic book.

[John Clay Wolfe]

They pierced their noses and asses.

[JD Ryan]

Three.

[Turley]

Can you believe? Three, Three titties.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think there's no doubt. Now that you mention it, I think the third tit is within the next decade and it becomes a trend. Just like these fucking tattoos that come. I mean, who would cover their whole fucking face in tattoos? If you do that, would you add a third titty? Of course you would.

[JD Ryan]

Of course you would.

[Turley]

Pierce it.

[JD Ryan]

There was a guy who got. Did you see the guy that got the. The Titan? I can't even say it.

[Turley]

I know.

[JD Ryan]

We're off the air. Titties. He got fake titties. And the deal was his. His friends got together and they gave him a bunch of money if he kept them for a year. And at the end of the year, he said, I've got so much by having these in bars, I'm keeping them.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Oh, shut up.

[JD Ryan]

That's exactly what he said.

[John Clay Wolfe]

He goes.

[JD Ryan]

Because women come up and they want to touch him. And the next thing you know, I got him in bed.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Get the out.

[JD Ryan]

I'm telling you.

[John Clay Wolfe]

What if he had three Bob? Oh, I think you're right.

[Turley]

Do you think that I. I'm googling it right now.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think Third titties.

[Turley]

Three titties.

[Bobbo]

Get that website real quick.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's gonna start in California dot com. Three titties. Who would have ever thought that people would be piercing the fuck out of their faces to the level that they do now? It's insanity.

[Turley]

It's crazy.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Piercing their dicks and their butts and their ears. Covering themselves in tattoos. Covering themselves. They look like. What was the damn hellbound or spellbound where the guy had all the pins coming out of his head in the 80s? Yeah, yeah. That's what people do to themselves now. Why the hell wouldn't you put a third titty up?

[JD Ryan]

Someone's gonna do it.

[John Clay Wolfe]

I think we need to. Oh. What? It's already done.

[Turley]

Pictures, Pictures.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Is it already done?

[Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Like real or fakes? Well, I mean, they're all fake.

[JD Ryan]

Photoshopped.

[Turley]

I gotta get one.

[JD Ryan]

It's photoshopped.

[John Clay Wolfe]

You want a third titty? No.

[Turley]

No, I want a girl like this.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Three titties. Three titties.

[JD Ryan]

Stop.

[John Clay Wolfe]

It's gonna happen.

[JD Ryan]

John's just. Look, his eyes are rolling, blazing over.

[John Clay Wolfe]

No, it's a whole business model. We need to get like a young plastic surgeon right out of med school and finance this whole thing and have like a three titty shop. I mean, testosterone, the low T center, all this crazy that's going on. The tattoo parlors, the game, the reality shows. We're gonna. I mean, we just need to own the three titty brand.

[Bobbo]

Three T's.

[John Clay Wolfe]

Yeah. Bar.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolfe]

All right. We're gonna quit with that. That's my Christmas present, Bobbo. You're a genius is what you are. That's. I knew I kept you around for some reason and you just gave me. We're gonna make jet airplane money off of three titties. Bye.