#129 John Clay Wolfe Show 12/30/17

Summary

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The John Clay Wolfe Show (#129) – 12/30/17 [Aired 2/13/2026]

Podcast: The John Clay Wolfe Show
Host: John Clay Wolfe (& cast)
Theme: End-of-Year Chaos, Dead Musicians, Car Bids, and Outrageous Radio Hijinks

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Episode Overview

This raucous, irreverent episode finds John Clay Wolfe and crew closing out 2017 (rebroadcast for 2026) in typical fashion: buying cars live, riffing on everything from the struggles of post-holiday lethargy to inside-baseball radio drama, a heavy dose of dead (and not-so-dead) musicians, and laugh-out-loud moments like "Porno Tony" recounting his adult film past. The episode is full of unpredictable energy: part car-buying show, part open-mic comedy, with all the edgy banter and personas the JCW Show is known for.

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Major Segments and Key Discussions

1. Post-Holiday Funk and Radio Staff Drama

• Opens with the cast discussing the mood after Christmas: "It's that post Christmas thing. Get back to work. ... Another four day weekend coming up. It's lonely." (00:33)
• J.D. Ryan is absent, stirring jokes about his death, dementia, and a series of wild explanations for the regular’s absence.
• Porno Tony (a board operator with a checkered past) is called out on air for missing a podcast recording, leading to a mock “if you ever do that again, you’re fired” moment (03:10).
  • Hilariously, Tony's former adult film work is brought up and dissected.

2. Porno Tony: Life in Adult Film

• Tony explains how he entered the industry ("I was a driver at first... a little lady jumps in my car and...") (06:18).
• Q&A on pay rates, career highlights, and on-set coaching:
  • Paid "$500 a hit," more if multiple actresses were involved.
  • "Do you ever watch yourself? ... Do y’all have like, serious meetings like that during the week?" (07:21)
• Callers ask Tony (with varying seriousness) about mixing work life with home life, performance tips, and more (12:30, 21:27).
• Quote:
  • “Well, at the same time, you know, women want you to find out without coming from my mouth.” – Porno Tony (05:20)

3. Car Buying Calls & Negotiations

• Throughout the show, listeners call in to get bids on their vehicles, ranging from Chevy SS sports cars to diesel trucks and Porsches.
• John showcases hard-nosed negotiating, with fast-paced, friendly trash talk and banter:
  • “Does 36 grand buy it? ... I just need to see pictures. I need to pull the vehicle history and I need to know what I'm buying.” (39:13)
  • “So does your car. You got a 14 SS hot rod Chevy... Has it been customized in any way?... I'm a $25,000 buyer, and I'll go ahead and bump myself to 26,000. Do I own it?” (59:53)
• The show’s “no-BS, instant offer—beat CarMax or $100” pitch is repeated. (Regular ad spots by JCW.)

4. Dead or Alive: Rock Star Edition

Recurring theme: Is this music legend dead or not?

• Led by “Satan” (regular JCW character), the crew quizzes each other on musician fates. Gallow humor ensues:
  • “Are we Mike, are we doing the dead musician theme the whole day?” (17:41)
  • “You guys don't know a lot about this. But I do. Like, if you die when you're really, really high... you don't go anywhere right away.” – Satan (23:55)
• Music trivia gets mixed up (“It was not Chess Records. It was Cadillac Records…” – caller correction, 30:02), and the cast jokes about obituaries, musician “draft picks” for heaven/hell, and more.
• Memorable exchange:
  • “Jerry Lee Lewis ain't dead, man.” – Cast, ongoing, after repeated mistakes confusing dead and living musicians (54:41, 56:52).

5. Games & Shenanigans

• Race-based "Who Did It?" Game:
  DJ Pre K presents local crime stories, and cast guesses "White, Black, Latino, Other." The segment is unfiltered, edgy, and self-aware about its own stereotypes.
  • “Grand larceny ... that is a white crime.” – Bobo (47:02)
• Cluck Norris: Studio rooster (adopted from Fort Worth), voiced as a wisecracking street rooster, shares his philosophy on hens, Stop Six, and “coop” politics (75:43).
• Potluck Dinner Rundown: Parody segment on “potluck” at the Givemethevin office, which, unsurprisingly, turns into discussion of weed strains and office shenanigans (66:07).

6. Celebrity Impressions & Mock Interviews

• Rush Limbaugh chiming in on pharmaceutical needs:
  • “You talk about immobilized…” – Rush commenting on Stephen Hawking, in the middle of a car-buying negotiation (136:01).
• Stephen Hawking and his sister (both parodied), in conversation with Satan about stocks, family, and the afterlife.
• Michael McDonald: Multiple appearances with signature soulful rambling about old cars and burritos.
• Johnny Manziel: Absurd bit about Johnny Football preparing for Canadian Football League, with a tongue-in-cheek “rider” request list (healthy food, Black Sabbath, Scooby-Doo vitamins, brown M&Ms) (148:09).

7. Meta Humor & Radio Inside Jokes

• Ongoing bits about production mishaps (“Porno Tony” is fired mid-show for chaos behind the board, only to become the runner).
• The crew’s chemistry is a running theme, with self-aware takes on missing co-hosts, the controlled chaos of the show, and digs at work ethic ("If you get an opportunity to run a syndicated show... you need to come up to the studio... and learn the freaking system..." – JCW, 103:24).
• Quote:
  • “It’s nice not having JD here... He carries the line. He’s our glue.” (151:31)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Holiday Funk:
  “I'm gonna be worthless for like the first four weeks of next year.” – JCW, (01:11)

• Porno Tony’s Advice:
  “I guess out of the gate, I was batting .300.” – Porno Tony (09:02)

• On the show’s format:
  “If we don't beat your CarMax offer, you just send us a picture of that offer letter. Then I'll send you a check for a hundred dollars... But since the only person to benefit is you...” – JCW (34:16)

• On Musician Tributes:
  “Dead Artists Saturday, but Porno Tony decided to go ahead and pull people that died of old age.” – JCW (37:05)

• On the open chaos of the show:
  “You couldn't write the material that comes out of this show, it's just like automatic.” – JCW, (55:22)

• Michael McDonald requests a burrito:
  “Thank you for my burrito.” – Michael McDonald (120:24)

• Cluck Norris’ Kwanzaa:
  “You got hens?... I'm a rooster, okay? And the rooster rules the roost, okay?... On Kwanzaa, that's what I does.” – Cluck Norris (76:17)

• Johnny Manziel's demands:
  “On my contract, we're going to have all Brown M&M's because you're Black. Sabbath fan, not Van Halen one.” – Johnny Football/JCW (150:21)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:10 – Start of Porno Tony segment and podcast threat
• 06:18 – Porno Tony: Life in Adult Films
• 17:41 – Dead Musicians theme introduced
• 30:02 – Listener call: Cadillac Records vs. Chess Records
• 39:13 – Classic car negotiation
• 54:41 – The 'Is Jerry Lee Lewis dead?' running joke
• 66:07 – Office potluck dinner & weed strains
• 75:43 – Cluck Norris, the ghetto rooster, in the studio
• 89:11 – Car calls & Subaru/Bernie sticker joke
• 103:24 – JCW on staff training and radio standards
• 120:24 – Michael McDonald requests food
• 148:09 – Johnny Manziel's CFL demand list bit
• 151:31 – “Nice not having JD here...” JCW on show glue
• 134:22 – “When I'm on to one that I really like...” – JCW, meta on restricting Bobo’s input

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Final Thoughts

This episode captures the essence of The John Clay Wolfe Show: an unpredictable blend of car deals, blue-collar Texas banter, biting wit, and radio chaos. Whether riffing on dead musicians, recalling the glories and oddities of adult film, or buying cars live while juggling radio disasters and wild characters, it’s all delivered with a sense of anything-can-happen live energy and a wink at the audience.

As JCW says:
“You couldn't write the material that comes out of this show, it's just like automatic.” (55:22)

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For more, download the podcast or catch the show Saturdays on your local affiliate.

Transcript

[A]

Givemethevin.com presents Crank It Up.

[B]

It's red hot.

[C]

I'm digging it.

[A]

Give me the vin. The John Clay Wolf show.

[D]

It was a beautiful day.

[E]

Sun beat down. I had the radio on.

[D]

I was driving. Trees went back.

[E]

Me and Del were singing a little runaway.

[F]

How you feeling?

[D]

It's that post Christmas thing. Get back to work. You work maybe three days this week, right? Another four day weekend coming up. It's lonely. You get all by yourself. You got all these presents and if you felt like putting them together, kids would be happy. No, it's that kind of time of year, man, when these holidays fall. On a weekend like this.

[E]

Man.

[C]

End of the weekend.

[D]

Yeah. So four, four day weekend off, okay? Everybody has Monday off. A lot of people have Tuesday. I went to back Tuesday. I worked three days this week. Four more days off. I'm gonna be worthless for like the first four weeks of next year. And next year is just right. I mean, it's like. Yeah, you know how the. When you're looking at exit ramp signs and it says, you know, mile and a half, three quarters of a mile, like New Year's Eve is less than the next quarter mile. Dude, it's like next. You know, it'd be very easy to miss your exit at this point.

[C]

Well, you don't go out on New Year's Eve anymore, do you?

[D]

Not like I used to. You're professional. Not like I used to, buddy. I stay in.

[C]

Yeah, I can't see you doing that anymore.

[D]

See, because the deep state has a plan for people who go out. I can't even say it with a straight face. Hi, everybody.

[E]

What's planned?

[D]

Say hello to my friend Mike Turley.

[C]

Hey, hey.

[D]

He is over there. It's your Uncle Bob O on the radio. Wait for John Clay. Well, what's the deal?

[C]

I honestly don't know.

[E]

He said.

[D]

And he didn't call me. And so this is. I'm not making fun of him with this inflection, okay? But he emailed me. We're going to do a show this weekend. It's going to be awesome. But JD can't make it. I'm thinking JD can't make it. How do you do this program without JD Ryan?

[C]

So what did I do to you?

[D]

I mean, already done. Like, I feel stupid.

[C]

I sent you like 10 things that.

[E]

You have to do today, right?

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

And the Turley email. The Turley email is like, hey, man, think ahead and get these bits ready. Like seven, like seven different bits on this job.

[E]

So your whole intro is like Talking about what you don't know. You're really getting the listeners excited about the next four hours.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I do.

[E]

Tell them you got nothing.

[D]

You're welcome.

[E]

Hey, speaking of having nothing, we have. I need to talk to Anthony on the air. Anthony, good morning.

[H]

Good morning.

[E]

Did you get the last hour, the first hour of the podcast up last week?

[H]

I did not.

[E]

Okay, Anthony, the way the New Year's is gonna start is if you ever do that again, you're fired.

[H]

Okay?

[E]

You'll be straight back to porno. Just a direct road.

[H]

I've already retired from that.

[E]

Oh, no more.

[C]

Nah, I don't think our listeners know what you're talking about, John.

[E]

Porno Tony, he. He's a helper. He's a great guy, and we love you, but if you ever do that again, I mean, you gotta understand what that does. We got a thousand people a week that listen to the podcast, and this first hour is the more fun because the little boys and girls aren't up yet, and we know that. So we can get away with more. Be edgier, more funny, more politically incorrect, all the stuff that people love. We do it more in the first 30 minutes. So when you forget to press record, like, right now, is it recording?

[D]

Oh, it's recording.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

And we don't do that then. Then it's a real downer.

[H]

I'll have the audio by Tuesday.

[D]

Okay. Because I was thinking you got four hours of show and you just, like, lopped off the front end. Yeah, because I was gonna say, like. Like, did Russ send you to do that?

[H]

No, no, nobody sent me in to do any type of.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Because I can mean I can see a spy, man.

[H]

No spy here, like, from miles away.

[D]

Like, I've been in this business for a long time.

[E]

Bob's just jealous because you used to be in adult movies.

[D]

I'm kind of jealous.

[E]

How? What was that like?

[H]

To explain it in layman's terms? Fun.

[E]

Fun.

[H]

I mean, how else can you explain it?

[E]

I mean, I love it when. When I first interviewed him, you know, it's like disclaimer. It's like a ex con. Oh, by the way, you know, I was arrested for grand theft auto back in 1987. Served 10 years. Oh, by the way, I was in porno, you know, and. And da, da, da. And you can look it up, and here it is like. Okay, well, I. I think that that that makes you more of a character in the show than. Less.

[D]

Absolutely.

[H]

Well, at the same time, you know, women want you to Find out without coming from my mouth.

[E]

I mean.

[D]

How are you expecting that to go? How, by the way, Tony, I need to talk to Tony for a second. You know, Tony, I was looking at the old red tube online the other day, and guess who I saw?

[E]

I'll be damned if there's a guy that doesn't look just like you. Yeah. Coming right out of your mouth. Who's on the TV today? Who's the tv?

[C]

There's a lot of things on the TV today, John.

[E]

I almost slipped. Huh? Slipped. So. So how did they. So tell me, Tony. And see, this is the 8 o' clock hour. We can get away with talking about this because we cannot later. And this is what the podcaster is like, especially on a holiday weekend. Our audience is real small right now. We're in a safe harbor. We're in a safe zone. So tell me, how did you get paid for that and how old were you and how'd you get into it?

[H]

Well, it seemed I was a driver at first, and I pulled up to, I guess, Fort Lauderdale International Airport, and this little lady comes scouting out to the car and jumps in my car and.

[E]

Are you who I'm effing. Oh, wow.

[H]

And now I'm driving you. And then I got back to the studio and my buddy who made me the driver said, you're going to be a lover.

[D]

Actor.

[E]

An actor. Okay.

[H]

So I scurried on over to the testing facility.

[E]

Okay.

[H]

And gave them a bit of my blood.

[E]

Oh, you had to, like, get tested for. For. For disease.

[H]

Oh, it was a real deal, Holyfield.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

So the John, it's not like what you think. You don't just drop your pants and just go at it.

[E]

So. So you had to. The old pro.

[D]

Because that's what it looks like.

[E]

Yeah. So. So you had to go to the dock and you had to get cleared to fly. You had to get your medical card.

[H]

Oh, yes, sir.

[E]

And then you come back and.

[H]

$500 a hit.

[E]

$500. And on your first. Do you think you did better on your first one? Do you think you did better when you were green than, like, after you became pro? Like, if you go back and watch. Do you ever watch it? Like, see, I was a. I played. I played football games. We'd film, you know, slow, backward, forward, frame by frame. Now, look, Wolf, if you'd have used your left foot there and taken your right arm to drive, you would have gone right around him, and I would. And then they go back and forth and back. See, left foot, left foot, lead with Your left. Lead with your left. And they do that enough. Do y' all have like, serious meetings like that during the week? Oh, yeah.

[H]

Where you're trying to drive with two left feet.

[E]

Mysterious. But would they slow you down and film and, like, coach you?

[H]

I mean, there's thing, you know, where they would stop you, let you do your thing, and then you get back to it.

[E]

Let me, let me. I'm talking about games after the scene, after the everything. Do they ever sit you down? Hey, Tony. Tony, come in here. We're sitting here watching some roll here and doing some editing. Come look at this. Do they ever give you some, like, mentorship? And like here, see right there? See that face right there? Stop, pause. Now look more serious. Look more serious. The drama will be up and people like that. When you got your hands on her, you know, give her a little more squeeze a little harder. Scare her a little bit. It'll come out in the camera. Be a professional.

[D]

And remember, she's supposed to be your stepmom, so be respectful.

[E]

None of that.

[D]

Even though she's only 24, I. I.

[H]

Don'T say I was ever coached. I guess out of the gate, I was batting.300.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Was there a fluffer on stage or set?

[H]

You know, there was, but not needed.

[E]

Well, how old were you?

[H]

I was 31.

[E]

Oh, wow. You got started late in life.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Tim, good morning. You're on the air. Oh, color. Oh, Timmy there.

[F]

Yes, Tim, this is Tim.

[E]

Hey, Tim, this is John. Do you have any questions for Porno Tony?

[F]

No, can't think of any off the.

[E]

Top of my head.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I'm just hearing so much onomatopoeia. I'm hearing. So now that we're in this conversation with Porno Antonio, I'm hearing so much double entendre in everybody's communication, so he can't think of anything off the top of his head. Tim, what have you got? You got a. I see 14 Chevy SS, 36,000 miles, leather roof. So the SS, is that the hot rod sports car?

[F]

Yes, the V8, 6.2 liter.

[E]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. We've done well with those cars. Where is this car located? Okay, does it have a clean Carfax?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

36, 000 miles out of bumper and bumper warranty. Anything wrong with it?

[F]

No, no. Car's nice.

[E]

I. I've been buying these cars for mid 20s, mid to upper 20s. I bought. I buy one a week. How much? I mean, have you been anywhere else?

[F]

No, no, it's. But it's going to take 27. 5 on.

[E]

Okay, 27. 5 he sounds. Now, why do you sound so stern about that? It's almost like you're reading it like. Like, you know, it's 27. 5.

[D]

Where. Where.

[E]

Where are you getting 27.5 from?

[F]

Well, just some research on the Internet, picking up different. Seeing what they're going for, and. Okay with the similar miles.

[E]

So is that retail 27.5, or is it wholesale?

[F]

Well, probably just what they're listed for, so probably retail.

[E]

So. Okay, it's a 14 Chevy SS. Would you take 26.5?

[F]

No, I really need to stay the 27.5, because I went to 27.5 looking at vehicles that were priced a little higher than mine, so.

[E]

Okay, so if. If I gave 27 grand, would I buy it? Do you have a payoff?

[F]

No payoff.

[E]

Title. So I've got a. We got a live check, a live car, and a live title. Cool. This sounds like we can get business, which sounds like we can get business done If I give $27,500. If I buy your car for 27,500, will you buy me a dinner at Del Frisco's?

[F]

Oh, I don't know about that.

[E]

I mean, who's the customer here, Turley? Who's the customer, me or him?

[C]

I believe you are.

[E]

I mean, I'm the customer. I'm the one giving him money. I'll give 27,500, and I don't need Del Frisco's. And you're my customer. I'm just BSing. We don't want to hear about your car. We want to hear more about Porno Tony.

[D]

Yeah, Tony could make the car smile for 500.

[E]

Put them on hold.

[D]

I can't believe they pay $500 a pop. Like, I've been paying upwards of 140 for years. You know, the back page.

[E]

Do you want to come. Do you want Uncle Roy come get. Oh, he just left. James, good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Hey, I had a question for Tony.

[E]

Porno Tony. Hey, and if you have a question for Porno Tony, you need to call in now before it gets, you know, later. And we have to straighten this up and get rid of Porno Tony. Tony.

[H]

No pun intended. Shoot.

[E]

Go ahead, James.

[F]

I was one. Huh?

[E]

No, go ahead.

[F]

I was wanting to know if. If you brought your work life to home. You know, do you. Do you mix work at home?

[H]

Well, I was actually living in South Florida at the time, but actually, yes.

[E]

Do you mix work with home? Does that Mean, like it. What? Was your wife an actress? Is that what you're asking, James?

[F]

You know, maybe not your lady being an actress, but, you know, you.

[H]

Well, we used to film in my house, so we would use my house as a prop.

[F]

So, yeah, I guess your work was your home.

[E]

Were you with the same woman then?

[H]

I didn't have a girlfriend at the time.

[E]

Okay, probably a good idea.

[D]

That was your house?

[H]

I had many.

[E]

James, where are you calling from?

[D]

I know that house.

[F]

I'm calling from Norman, Oklahoma.

[E]

Norman, Oklahoma. Of course he's calling from Norman, Oklahoma. He's been.

[G]

It on.

[F]

I listen to you guys every weekend. And I had to call Internet.

[E]

More questions for Porno Tony this morning. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[C]

Or you can sell your car, John.

[E]

Or we'll buy your car. You know, we're keeping it classy this last show of 2017.

[D]

Keeping it classy.

[E]

Keeping it classy, man. And it's that one little window because we know all the PDs and all the. All the radio operators are sleeping in their water beds, man.

[H]

On vacation.

[E]

On vacation.

[D]

They filmed at your house. Like I know that house. Like we all know that house, right? Big lavish bar, no glasses, no appliances. A white leather couch, no curtains, right? Wood panel flooring. Girls everywhere.

[E]

Oh, how many movies Porno Tony?

[D]

This is.

[E]

This is wonderful. We've got a real live porno actor in the studio with us. Interviewing this morning. How many. How. Turn that off. How many scenes did you do?

[H]

Roughly 26.

[E]

26 times 500.

[H]

Yes, sir. And the side, I mean, you know.

[E]

They would stick around, I guess, decide.

[H]

They would stick around after the filming. Like I said, we would film at my house.

[E]

I'm just wondering what type of income. So Was it roughly 26 times 500?

[H]

Yeah, but at the same time, I mean, that wasn't counting the. The doubles and the. The threes, I guess.

[E]

What does that mean? I'm not in the. In the trade.

[H]

More than one girl.

[E]

Do you get paid by the girl?

[H]

Yeah, definitely. If there was three girls, it would be 1500.

[E]

Oh, get out. No, it was.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Get out.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Pay your per. You're a male. You're a male hooker bubble. I mean, are you. Are you listening to all this?

[D]

Man, don't start with me right now, man.

[E]

You trying to digest all this.

[D]

Can't believe it. I wasted my 20s.

[C]

You made 13 grand to have fun for how long?

[E]

It was roughly a year.

[C]

That's not a lot of pain.

[E]

Did you ever. Oh, we're out of time. I got a question. As soon as we get back from porno. Tony. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. You can call in with your questions too before we get going. Good morning, everybody. It's the last show of 2018. My name is John Clay Wolfe. J.D. ryan has passed away from old age. He is dead. He's no longer here. He's not on the show. He fell off a ladder and he has dementia and Alzheimer's and he's just dead. We still have Bob. Poor Tony has replaced J.D. ryan today and Dr. Turley's in the house. And I'm here and you're here and we've got a fun show lined up for you. Be right back. Off the ground.

[F]

Threw him in the swamp.

[A]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemetheven.com coming up.

[I]

Givemetheven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. GiveMeTheVin.com they've completely changed the car business.

[D]

So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Give me the vin.com and now back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[F]

You are the best radio personality I've heard.

[A]

Call in 800-800-RADIO, presented by Gimme the Vin.com.

[D]

American history and practical man.

[E]

You study him hard. Hoping to the hell is this Chuck Berry, dead musician. Oh, is that what we're doing? Well, nobody told me that.

[H]

I sent you an email.

[C]

I didn't send you an email.

[E]

You always send me an email about why you're going to be late to work. So I don't read your emails cuz your emails put me in bad, bad, bad moods. You did send me. You did send me an email. Something about dead musicians. So is that the. Are we Mike, are we doing the dead musician theme the whole day?

[G]

Yes.

[C]

For returns for this past 2017.

[E]

I mean, that's gonna be a long show then. There's a lot of dead musicians.

[C]

We only have 12. We're gonna do.

[E]

So we're like doing bios on them or. Chuck Berry was a very sexually active young black guitarist from Memphis, Tennessee. He loved to get his Cadillac and go grab the girls out of the club. After the shows. And actually he got the hell beat out of him several times for cross ethnicity relations in 1956.

[C]

I think. I think actually the devil has the bios for you.

[B]

I think you got it mixed up with Jerry Lee Lewis.

[E]

Actually, John, I just watched the movie Chess Records. I remember that scene where he got the hell beat out of me. You don't remember that? Oh, good morning, Satan.

[B]

Are you talking about a movie?

[E]

I'm talking about movie. Good morning.

[B]

No, I've never seen that one. I'm sorry. I'm still, like, replacing all my old VHS tapes, you know, so I didn't have that one yet. What's the name of it?

[E]

Chess Records. It's one of the better movies I've ever seen.

[B]

Beyonce's in it like the real Chess Records. Yeah, I know a lot of those guys.

[E]

Howlin Wolf, Etta James.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

Hang on just a second. I want to talk to Joey in Houston. Joey, is this 03 Powerstroke a 7.3 or a 6.073. Okay, is it lifted or is it stock? No, stock is average. Rough or clean?

[F]

Clean.

[E]

So we have 03 powerstroke 7.3 with 90,000 miles in leather. So it's a lariat short bed, crew cab, not extended. Is that right?

[F]

A cab, short bed.

[E]

It is a. It's a crew cab, short bed. Okay.

[F]

No, extended cab.

[E]

Ah, it's extended cab. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it, Joey.

[J]

Damn you.

[D]

Damn it, Joey.

[E]

I thought you had a unicorn for a minute.

[F]

Give me the money.

[E]

I thought. I thought I had a unicorn running across the window. Eight grand.

[F]

How much? Eight grand for 7.3.

[E]

Wait, where's the rest of the doors? Why were you being. Why were you being cheap when you bought a 7 3? Why didn't you get a crew cab like every good family? Mexican family that has a lot of kids? You need four doors. It is four doors, but it's got Kurt Cobain door on one side and. And.

[F]

No, no, no, no. Four full doors.

[E]

Okay, so let's get this straight. Let's start over.

[F]

Yep.

[E]

Is this a crew cab?

[F]

Yes, crew cab.

[E]

Okay, it's a crew.

[F]

Back on.

[B]

What?

[F]

I said I'll send you a picture.

[E]

Yeah, I know you're gonna send me a picture because I ain't paying for it till I see a picture. It's just like Bobbo and his girlfriends. Does ten grand buy it?

[F]

No.

[E]

What buys it?

[F]

Sixteen. Minimum.

[E]

Minimum. Minimum. Or else I'll still load it up or else I'm gonna kick your ass. I don't know if I can give 16, but I will look at 16. It's all givemetheven.com. go to givemetheven.com, send the pictures, say John. Talked to John on the radio, told him 16,000 minimum. Here's the pictures. Go get his attention. And they'll drag me in the buyer's room when we get off there and I'll go look at. And I'll get you an answer.

[F]

10 4, John. Great.

[E]

Thanks, man. We have a question for Porno Tony, real quick. Good morning, Mike.

[F]

Hello, sir. I got a question for Tony.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Have you ever had a woman with kind of a loose fit, you had to get rid of the KY and put in denture grip?

[H]

Tony, Tony, I don't know how to answer that, actually. Maybe I don't have that problem.

[E]

Okay, there you go. There's your answer. I don't know. Thanks. Where are you calling from, Mike? Are you calling from Oklahoma?

[F]

I'm calling from Fort Worth. Fort Worth.

[E]

Fort Worth. You ever spend any time in Oklahoma? Because that sounds like a kind of an Oklahoma kind of question.

[F]

No, I just kind of drive through there. Oklahoma kind of scares me.

[E]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Okay, Satan, what were you saying?

[D]

Okay, so.

[B]

Okay, so we've got a. We've got a game.

[F]

Here's a good.

[B]

Here's a good example, okay?

[E]

You.

[B]

You tell me if this person's alive or dead, okay? Because we lost a lot of really good musicians this year, okay? Right. Here's one. Peter Wolf from the Jay Giles Band.

[E]

I'm going to. I don't know. I'm going to go dead because I don't know.

[B]

No, he's alive.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, the leader of the J. Gyles Band, Jake Isles himself. Yeah, he died. Great guitars. Nice guy. You should see this guy's hut. He lives on a hut at the end of the beach just north of the Lake of Fire.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

That's awesome.

[E]

Oh, he's in hell.

[B]

He's what, A what, A decorator.

[E]

He's in hell with you.

[B]

Well, hell is a little underrated. It's actually pretty cool, especially in the morning. It's beautiful, you know. All right, here's another one. Malcolm Young, acdc Dead. That's right. Are you studied up for this deal?

[E]

No, I. I'm an AC DC fan.

[B]

Here's a. Here's an interesting one. And people are always asking me, you know, what about Tom Petty? What about Tom Petty? Do you know this? No, you know, you know, Tom passed earlier this year.

[E]

I thought that was Dwight Yoakum. It was Tom.

[B]

No, it was Tom Petty. Okay, here's the thing about Tom Petty. And there's a lot of talk amongst the angels and everybody up here down there, too. Nobody seen Tom.

[E]

Oh, y' all don't know which way he went?

[B]

Yeah, we're speculating. You guys don't know a lot about this. But I do. Like, if you die when you're really, really high.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't go anywhere right away.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's a. He's. I'm. And I'll bet you a hundred dollars he's a ghost. Because this is what happens. Yeah, we didn't see Jim Morrison for, like, 14 years after he died. It's really something. You know, it's just certain hallucinations take a long time to wear off, so we'll probably.

[E]

So, do y' all call up. Do you ever call up to the Pearly Gates and say, hey, where is so and so? I've been expecting him. He's not here. Did he go your way?

[B]

Oh, sure. Yeah. You know, it wouldn't work without chain of command, right? Yeah, I called him, actually, last. Last year. Glenn Fry, the Eagles. I thought for sure, you know, he was coming.

[E]

You thought for sure? What, you thought you drafted him on your team?

[B]

Well, I mean, you know, he's not one of the Beats boys, John. I'm thinking, you know, this is the Hotel California guy. I get this guy and Don Henley, too, when it's time.

[E]

This is like recruiting fantasy football. It's like a draft.

[B]

And I waited. It was like a day, three days and a whole week. And so I. I finally called old Peter, everybody knows about Peter, said, hey, Pete, what's the. What's the deal with Glenn Frey? He says, well, he made a deal. That was his deal. When he traded Joe Walls for Bernie Letton, he got a pass. So that's the thing about doing business with those guys up there. They treated like a game of Monopoly, you know, Listen, you don't get anything for free parking. You made that rule up. Pisses me off.

[E]

So y' all negotiate on whose souls you get?

[B]

Well, sure. I mean, it's a business like anything else.

[E]

We need to hear more about that a little bit.

[B]

I actually. I was talking to Manson the other day.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And he had a great idea to start a website. Give me your soul dot com. Yeah. So you can get it squared away. You don't have to, you know, nobody's supposed to. Surprised. I think it could really go Great, Max.

[E]

In Houston 13, Oklahoma 13 three quarter ton. Is it diesel or gas?

[G]

Diesel.

[E]

Diesel. Sunroof. Is it a sunroof? Does it have a sunroof? Okay. Is it a crew cab? Is it a crew cab or a mega cab?

[F]

Crew cab.

[E]

Okay, so it's a 3/4 ton diesel. What color?

[F]

I have the 2 tone a reddish with.

[E]

Got it. Gold on the bottom. 133 quarter. 13 20. 133 quarter ton. 34000 mile Laramie Crew Cab, four wheel drive Cummins. Great miles if it's nice. Will 35 grand buy it?

[F]

I was looking to get 41.

[E]

Will 41 grand buy it?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Okay, well 40 grand buy it because I don't think I can get to 41. No, I don't think I can get to 41. Are you gonna lose me over a thousand dollar bill?

[F]

Does the price increase if it hit. If I remove the emissions?

[E]

No, it goes down. Is the, are the emissions. Are the emissions deleted? Yes. Do you have the parts to put it back together?

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Okay. How much does it cost you to put that thing back together? Because it. In Texas, Oklahoma, everywhere you have to it, you can't get them inspected as you know. And this truck's got really nice miles on. If it's got 34,000 miles on it and it's just. Anyway, I might. If I have the parts I need to look at this. Go to givemetheven.com you&I are close enough to a deal that I think we can figure this out.

[F]

Okay, sounds good.

[E]

What, what city you're in? Houston. Do you have a title? Is there a payoff?

[F]

Payoff?

[E]

Okay, give me the vin.com. put in the info. John's thinking 40. I'm at 41. He said have him look at it and they'll tag my name on it when I get off the air. I'll pull it up in our computer system and I'll make a decision.

[F]

Yes, sir. Thank you.

[E]

Thank you. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolfe. It is new Year's Saturday. Is New Year's eve tomorrow night?

[G]

Yep.

[E]

All right. I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do. I'll be right back.

[A]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemethevin.com.

[I]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number. No sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash gimmetheven.com sell them your car at gimmetheven.com. if they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Givemethevin.com they've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Go ahead and crack that natty light.

[E]

Right, because it's morning. That makes sense.

[A]

The John Clay Wolf show, presented by gimmethevent.com 880Radio.

[E]

So Satan is Walter Becker. Is he the dead guy? Since this is dead guy. Saturday morning.

[B]

Yeah, it's a damn shame, too.

[E]

Was it Becker that died?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Old Walty, we call him.

[E]

Which way did he go?

[B]

This is the other half of Steely Dan.

[E]

Right.

[B]

For anybody who listens to Steely Dan. And we'll never get Donald.

[E]

Donald Fagan.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

He'll never go to hell.

[B]

How? He's gonna go like George Burns, you know?

[E]

Straight to heaven.

[B]

Yeah. If you get old enough, there's really not enough left of you to do any good, you know, up there or down here. But Walt is cool, you know. I've been talking to Walter for years.

[E]

Are there old folks homes in Hades?

[B]

Oh, yeah, they're cool. Yeah, they're great. It's the best breakfast in hell.

[E]

Hang on, I gotta grab this. Laura, good morning. You're on the air. Laura, you're on the air.

[F]

Hello?

[E]

Hello.

[F]

I. I have to correct you about that movie. It was not Chess Records. It was Cadillac Records.

[E]

That's right. It was Cadillac Records. And the story about Chess Records. And the deal was is he bought a new Cadillac for all of his artists. Is that correct?

[F]

That's correct. That's correct. And it was Howlin Wolf and Muddy Walters, Muddy Waters and Little Walter.

[E]

And wasn't Chuck Berry one of them?

[F]

Chuck Berry. Yes, sir. It sure was.

[E]

Didn't he in the movie get beat up real bad for messing around with white girls?

[F]

No, he. He did mess around with white girls, but it was Little Walter that got beat up really bad.

[E]

That's right. You sound like you really know your Chess records.

[F]

I do. I'm a huge blues fan. And that's one of my favorite movies of all time.

[E]

It is wonderful.

[F]

Well, if you like the blues, Beyonce was just. Beyonce was awesome in that show.

[E]

Beyonce sang Etta James better than Etta James.

[F]

I think she did, too. She bright.

[E]

You need to pull up some. At last. When we get a chance from that. Beyonce's version. It's the best ever. We'll play that later.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

So, Laura, do you catch us on Saturdays or did you just trip across us this morning?

[F]

No, I actually listen to you? Pretty much every Saturday. I don't know.

[C]

Surprisingly.

[E]

I have that effect on women. And a lot of it's a bad effect, too. Don't get caught up in it. Because I've been. I've been talked really bad to by women over the years. But I have this weird, soothing effect on them. I don't know what it is, but they also say that I tend to make them crazy.

[F]

I always go for the bad guy. Anyway.

[E]

Every woman in my wife has told me that they're not crazy. I made them that way. Have you ever told a man that, Laura?

[F]

I have. There's a man standing right here in front of me that I've told that too many times.

[E]

I think that might just be like a company line for you, Famalis. Thanks for calling in. 800-800-7234. Well, it's good to hear that she says that too. Yeah, because maybe it's not me, maybe it is them.

[C]

I just love how she's like. Actually, surprisingly, I listen to you every Saturday.

[E]

I love it when the PD say that, you know, the women don't like us. And you look at the numbers like. No, the women do like us. Hey, Ed. Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

What's up, old man?

[E]

Where you calling from?

[F]

League City.

[E]

League City. 11F11? Yeah. 11F150 Lariat. 88, 000 miles. Leather roof, Nav. How nice is it?

[F]

That's clean, man. It's real clean.

[E]

So two wheel drive is a six cylinder.

[F]

Man, I said two wheel, but it's four wheels.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

It's black leather inside.

[E]

Okay. Is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it 15 grand.

[F]

Man, this man, you really botch that Cadillac Records deal. But I'm gonna let you have this truck if you can beat this Carmax offer.

[E]

What's your Carmax offer?

[F]

15 5.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Can I beat it by like 15?

[F]

I need 16 for it, man.

[E]

Can I beat it by like15, 5, 01. Like price is right.

[F]

I need 16 because that's what I owe on it, man. Can you help me out?

[E]

You said it's got leather roof, Nav. It's 11F150, Larry, at 88,000 miles. Is the carfax clean?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

I don't have to ask if they're 15 5. I know. I'll give 16 grand. I always beat them. Ain't nothing. Ain't nothing.

[D]

Ain't nothing.

[F]

Hell, yeah, nothing.

[E]

All right, thanks. We own it. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up send us. And that goes for anybody. If we don't beat your carmax offer, you just send us a picture of that offer letter. Then I'll send you a check for a hundred dollars. That doesn't mean like if I told you 15 and you got 15 five that I owe you a hundred. I mean I get last look at the letter and if I don't beat it, then I send you a hundred dollars. It's just that simple.

[C]

You gotta still own the car.

[E]

And we've had that a lot. We've had people that have already sold them and yes.

[C]

Yeah, we're like dude, do you have the car still? Well no, I already sold it to him. Well guess what, you missed out, right?

[E]

We were given a hundred. Not as a game show, but as an op. We're paying you off, we're bribing you to get last look at the sealed bid. It's that simple. But since the only person to benefit is you, you're either gonna get more money for your car or you're gonna get a hundred dollars from me. Then it's not an indecent proposal. I learned this in the car business years ago with those car managers and that was an indecent proposal. But dammit, they were hooers and they just couldn't stop it. So you know, when in Rome. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Well, especially when you're in Louisiana or Mexico. Those two places really, you know, group up to it. Well, You don't. Stephen Hawking everybody. I did not realize that you had so much pent up energy, Steven.

[F]

I get sad when you big cars.

[E]

Why?

[F]

Because I like to drive.

[E]

Did you used to drive before your disability took over?

[F]

Yes, my girlfriend called me the bat out of hell.

[E]

A bat out of hell?

[F]

Like the Meatloaf record.

[E]

Do you make a lot of money?

[F]

Sure, I make millions of dollars a day.

[E]

What do you do with it?

[F]

Nothing.

[E]

Would you rather, would you, would you rather have money or have your normal bodily functions and abilities?

[F]

I would do anything if I could just. We will stand it up again.

[E]

Okay, thank you Stephen Hawking. Thanks for coming in this this Saturday, New Year's Eve 2017. Morning man. It's a tough life. Oh, it's top of the hour. We got to go. Be right back. My name is John Clay Wolf. Up by cars on the radio. You mean me? Cry when you see it. Goodbye.

[A]

Give me the vid.com. we now return to the John Clay Wolf show. Call in 800. 800 radio.

[F]

I really enjoy the show.

[A]

Presented by givemethevin.com.

[F]

You'Re doing a great job. I enjoyed listening.

[E]

Who picked these songs? Porno Tony. Porno Turley. Porno Tony? Yes.

[C]

Porno Tony did.

[E]

Yeah. Porno Tony. Okay, so we're doing Dead Artists Saturday, but Porno Tony decided to go ahead and pull people that died of old age.

[D]

Right.

[E]

Like, how old would this guy be at this point? 108. It's not dramatic. It's not Fats Domino. Yeah, I mean, it's Fats Domino, but we're on classic rock stations. I mean, a little bit of it. What else you got lined up? I mean, is Henry Mancini coming? Boston. Tom. Tom, sure. He blew his head off. Do you have video of that?

[D]

89. Fast Domino was 89.

[E]

That's what he does. Okay, 800. I thought we were gonna do dead. Dead artists that, like, died.

[D]

Now, I used to go down to the Majestic Ballroom and watch Fractured Domino shake his ass and play that piano.

[E]

Play that what?

[D]

Blueberry Hill song Got me laid more times than I can count.

[E]

Travis and Lafayette, good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Good morning.

[E]

2014 platinum with 80 crew. Cab, leather, nav, no sunroof. Is that right?

[F]

No sunroof.

[B]

Correct.

[E]

Yes. What color?

[F]

It looks black, but the actual color is brown. I guess you only see the brown ones.

[E]

I understand. How many miles till it turns 80?

[F]

800.

[E]

Okay, so it's a. It's a clean 79. We're not on the edge. You'd be surprised. Like when it goes from 79. Nine to 80, that's a thousand dollar bill right off the top. Just is. It's weird. So is this truck. It's a 14. 1414 with 79. Is it 35 grand? 36 grand?

[F]

Close, yeah.

[E]

I mean, I buy them and sell them all the time. I'm a check writer, remember? There's a difference between a check writer and a cheerleader. Well, the book says this, and my friend said that. And the da da da said this and my preacher said that. Those are cheerleaders. I'm a check writer. Does 30 grand buy it? I mean, does 36 grand buy it?

[F]

I said buy what I owe on it. So I'm always trying to get a little more.

[E]

Okay, let me see if I can give it. Let me see if I can give a touch more. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up. Say, John, bid it for 36. Make me a little money over my payoff. Here's my payoff, and I'll sell it. And we'll damn sure try to do it. We might be able to do it. I just need to see pictures. I need to pull the vehicle history and I need to know what I'm buying.

[F]

Gotcha. Will do.

[E]

Thanks, Travis. Maxi and Vernon, good morning.

[F]

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello.

[E]

Yes, yes.

[F]

Yes. I have a 2016 GMC Canyon Cayman.

[E]

That's a Porsche. Go to givemetheven.com, put the VIN number or your plate number and it'll decode it. We'll get the right car, we'll know if it's a GMC or a Porsche 808. He lives in Vernon, man. It happens. I was up there a while.

[C]

I think you're saying canyon.

[E]

Oh, I think it's a Cayman.

[C]

Well, he did say Cayman, but I think he was trying to say I've.

[E]

Got a Cayman GMC Colorado, the GMC New Mexico. Did you hear that? Trump is gonna go ahead and build the border wall around New Mexico because there's no reason to let the new Mexicans in while we're trying to keep the old Mexicans out.

[D]

Right? And no reason really for a wall.

[E]

Patton, Houston, good morning.

[F]

Hey. Good morning.

[E]

Hey. Hey. A 12 Volvo with 30. I like it. Like, what color is it?

[F]

It's red. It's a beautiful kind of a metallic red, but beautiful.

[E]

It's just beautiful. Why are you selling it if it's so damn pretty?

[F]

Because you know what I found is a 1955 Cadillac that I've been wanting a car like that for years. And I came across the right one.

[E]

Does that have the fins on the tail in the, in the exhaust?

[F]

Yes, it is.

[E]

The exhaust goes to the bolts.

[F]

Man. There's a real loud crackle on the phone, but I can sort of hear you. Yes, it has fins and bullet front. Chrome bullets on the front. It's 18ft long.

[E]

Did the exhaust pipes come out the bumper in the back?

[F]

They do, yeah.

[E]

I know what you're talking about. That's a good looking car. So this 12 Volvo S60, T5, that is a all wheel drive or two wheel drive. I'm sorry, is your Volvo an all wheel drive or a front wheel drive?

[F]

Front wheel drive.

[E]

Okay. And it's red and it's a T5. And it's got 30,000.

[F]

It's called. It's called a T5. It has 35,000. The year is 2012. It's just in great shape. But I have to. I have. I don't have room to keep that in the new Cadillac.

[E]

I'm eight, nine. I'm a $9,000 buyer, I believe. I might go 10. I might go 10, but I need to see pictures and a VIN number. Hey, I see on here it says something about Stevenson Pruitt.

[F]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, let me tell you the. The ultimate Stevenson Pruitt story for me is that I'm the guy that brought them to Houston to be on 101k. Lol.

[E]

So you worked with Doug, and I mean, I've heard the story that. That somebody came up and recruited him out of the Eagle in Dallas. Just stole them away.

[F]

That was me. I sat in the control room and Folger was the program director and I brought the boys back to Houston, huh? Yes, that's right. So let's go, Tim.

[E]

Well, that doesn't do anything for me. What's that do for me? What are you. What are you gonna do for me?

[F]

Well, I also then left KLOL and started the Buzz.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

In 1995. And Doug worked with me there, too. All right, so that's a twofer.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

I could keep going. I could keep going.

[E]

I think we're going to do a thousandth show party down there in Houston in February. And. Okay, we've been trying to pick. I think we've got the exact day which lines up with the thousandth show, and we're going to confirm that next week. But go to givemetheven.com, load the thing up and I'll get it bought. I appreciate you calling in, Pat. Bye bye. Thanks. 800-800-7 2, 3, 4.

[D]

You know, John, that reminds me of the best Christmas we ever had.

[E]

What was that?

[D]

The year I bought Peggy of Volvo.

[E]

Why was it so good?

[D]

She and my neighbor Bill ran off to Nova Scotia. Yeah, worked out pretty well.

[E]

And how. I mean. So she left you for Evolv with Evolvo.

[D]

Now me and Bobby don't have to do anything.

[E]

Oh, it's Hank from. From King of the Hill.

[D]

The first time she saw it, she said, oh.

[E]

It's time for your favorite game show. Black, White, Latino or other. DJ Prek. Good morning.

[G]

Mic check, mic check. What's going down?

[E]

The whitest black man on Syndicated Airways, Whitey Blackie. DJ Prek, everybody.

[G]

Yes, sir.

[E]

Coming to you straight from Party City.

[G]

Yes, sir. Yep. Back with your favorite game. So White, Black, Latino, Other. Or I'll read a couple crime and y' all tell me who did it. Okay, so today I got some cat that was a swinging and swerving down the street in a quarter mil.

[E]

Black Ferrari.

[G]

And the police, you know, they saw him. They decided to pull him over. They got it and ran the plates and found out it was stolen. So they asked him about it. He said that it belonged to a homeboy of his. And then he, they take a cell phone, he tries to use it and erase all this stuff on it before they can get him for it. And he said that he was an Uber driver, but he was rolling solo whenever they pulled him over. So they brought him in and charged him with grand larceny.

[E]

So what's your take?

[G]

White, black, Latino or other?

[E]

You've got a guy in a quarter million dollar black Ferrari. He got pulled over for what?

[C]

Speeding.

[E]

Right.

[G]

Driving suspiciously as the report says.

[E]

And he got arrested for grand larceny. What exactly does that mean?

[G]

Hey man, I've never been arrested for grand larceny. I couldn't tell you.

[E]

I mean, is it grand theft auto? What? Larceny. I've been told I'm full of larceny. I don't know what grand larceny, the definition of that charge is.

[D]

Well, if he worked for the dealership and he stole the car, that would be grand larceny.

[E]

Okay. I think same keyword.

[D]

Yeah, larceny is like big embezzlement.

[E]

Okay, yeah, grand larceny. But the so white, black, Latino or other. I. I don't know man. I mean that's a bit.

[C]

That's expensive car to steal. Yeah, but now was he. Did you say he was driving around picking up people?

[E]

I'm gonna go other. Because like Chinamen have really, really, really big balls like that. Yeah, they really do. They have this ridiculous arrogant euphoric beliefs that they are above everything that they can pull this off. I mean, I don't know if Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, whatever ease. It is the Asian proper term, Asians. That sounds like an Asian move to me.

[D]

The preferred nomenclature. Dude.

[C]

Charlie, I kind of agree with you that it's other. I don't know about an Asian. I'm more going towards the, the curry side on it.

[E]

Okay, yeah, well, Islam little cat Stevens. You saw, you saw.

[D]

I could be wrong about this, but I'm telling you, in, in my experience, in my world, larceny, that is a white crime.

[E]

Okay?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

All right, so we got white, we've got Muslim and we've got Asian. What is the survey says? DJ Pre K?

[G]

Well, survey says as 26 year old Hilburn Hunkins from the Virgin Islands.

[E]

So other.

[C]

Yeah, that's other.

[E]

So is that like a Rihanna black guy? Yeah, yeah, like a, like a Jamaican, like a reggae black. Yeah, That's a different kind of deal.

[C]

What is that other of?

[E]

I don't know. That's like National Geographic.

[D]

Caribbean.

[C]

It's Caribbean.

[E]

Caribbean, yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

That's a whole different deal. Man.

[D]

He rolls really big joints.

[E]

So it was a. It was a black guy, but. But it was a. It was. It was a Rastafarian black guy.

[D]

Well, not from the Virgin Islands. That's a very wide culture.

[E]

Virgin Islands?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Why do they call them the Virgin Islands? You used to go there to get your virgins.

[D]

No, no.

[E]

Why they get named that? Virgin olive oil. What is virgin olive oil? How do they know those little things haven't had sex? Michael McDonald. What are you doing here? Michael McDonald again?

[D]

Wanna get a bid on a car?

[E]

Oh, God.

[D]

Hey, baby.

[E]

I mean, why does your music come on whenever you walk in the room?

[D]

Look, my 79 El Camino. Hey, it's like a truck in a car.

[E]

You got a 79 El Camino car.

[D]

With a truck in the end, baby.

[E]

And you want to sell it?

[D]

Wanna get a bid?

[E]

I don't.

[F]

I don't.

[E]

I don't want to give bid. I want to buy it. How much is it?

[D]

Get a bid from John. Buy my car. What about 79 stingray?

[E]

Hey, you got a bunch of old cars, Michael McDonald. I mean, you know, as much money as you have, you should have some better stuff than that. What have you been doing with your money?

[D]

Looky here.

[J]

Chrysler.

[E]

This junk. Dude, get something real.

[D]

Let me hold.

[E]

I mean, I. I bought a. I bought a El Camino like what you're talking about for $8,000 the other day. And a 79 stingray. All depends on how nice it is. That body style really isn't worth a lot of money unless it's a super duper one. But even if it's super duper, it's not, you know. Still 10 grand. I'm talking about a 10,000 mile 79 stingray.

[D]

How about a classic Chevy Cheyenne 1010? Got no seats in the cab, baby, but a straight 350 street riding rod truck.

[E]

Hey, I don't know, Michael McDonald.

[D]

Give me back my fuel cover.

[E]

Where's your next concert? Why don't you do something for us? Hey, baby, can I play the drums with you on stage?

[D]

Come to Vegas. Ride the skins with me, John.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Go have Box play guitar.

[E]

I'd love to sit and ride the skins.

[B]

Oh.

[E]

Okay, Michael.

[D]

Everybody welcome my friend John on base. Where's the bathroom?

[E]

Thank you, Michael McDonald.

[D]

Gotta go.

[E]

Thanks for coming in, James and Houston 18 RDX. You bought it in a hole in one. I mean, you won it in a hole in one.

[F]

I want it in the hole in one. Yeah.

[E]

How long ago?

[F]

This was a month ago. So the car is supposed to be delivered to me this week.

[E]

You don't want it? You don't want it? You don't want to keep it?

[F]

No, it's just I've got two cars that. That we love. Don't want to keep it.

[E]

I mean, I've done this before. Bought hole in one, insurance for an event. It's like fifteen hundred dollars. And then some guy like you comes along and makes it, which is pretty funny. So you still have to pay the taxes on this car, don't you?

[F]

Correct. Yes.

[E]

Okay. And see, you're gonna get a title to it there. It's on an MSO right now. So when you get this car, you won't have a title for three weeks.

[F]

You know, didn't know that.

[E]

Yeah. Because they're gonna take the MSO and turn it into the state. Then the state is going to. To produce a title and they're going to mail the title to you. You won't see a title in your hands for three weeks. So you can't like sell it and get paid on until you have title in hand, just FYI. And.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

Because they're going to go. And they're going to go and register the car and pay your taxes and register it in your name, and then that'll trigger the electronic title system in the state. Just go to givemetheven.com and load it up. It's 18 Acura RDX. I don't know it off the top of my head, but I can easily figure it out. What was sticker? Do you know?

[F]

The sticker said 49. I've looked and. And most of them say 45.

[E]

And what can you really buy them for? I'd have to ask my. See, what I would do is I'd call my accurate friend and say, tell me what triple net is on an Acura rdx. This is actually really easy to figure out. And I'd say with a 49 list. And he'd say, okay, this rebate, that dealer cash, this bum, bum, you know, so triple net, which means really, really, really. Where does the dealer really own it? 38 grand. Okay. So we're gonna back up four grand off of that because it's a used car, not a new car. Maybe three. Three to four grand. And that's gonna be the number. Okay, got it.

[F]

All right. Sounds Good. Yeah, I appreciate it.

[E]

I'd like to buy it, so just bring it up. 800-800-7234. My name is John Claywolf and I buy cars and radio.

[A]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[I]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you, and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to givemetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemethevin.com and give John your license plate number. And his system will immediately issue a price right there. Givemethevin.com They've completely changed the car business.com.

[D]

So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Call in 800-800-RADIO.

[F]

Love listening to Y'.

[A]

All, presented by GiveMe the Vin.com.

[F]

Now, this is the killer speaking.

[E]

Is he dead? No. Do I like what I sure do like. You like young girls that are related to you.

[D]

So don't think he is.

[E]

He's not dead. God bless America. The son of a. I saw him at a party like four years ago, right? I mean, he looks like he's dead. He's from Faraday, Louisiana. He's cousins with Mickey Gilly. Kent Montgomery's from Faraday. I. I met the man. He's not dead. Look it up.

[C]

I don't know. I left this in his hands.

[E]

Y' all call in and tell me if Jerry Lee Lewis is dead. If he's not, I'm gonna burn.

[D]

Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis.

[E]

God Almighty. Holy hell. This. Okay, so Porno Tony is no longer the board op, starting right now.

[D]

Is that the deal?

[E]

That's done. That deal has come and it's gone.

[D]

Jerry Lee Lewis ain't dead, man.

[E]

Jerry Lee Lewis. So today we're playing the music from Dead Artists.

[D]

All day.

[E]

Jerry Lewis was a comedian. Median.

[D]

Tony, the MDA telethon guy?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Holy hell. Scott, Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Hey, good morning.

[E]

My Lord.

[D]

This is what happens when J.D. doesn't show up for this show.

[E]

Where is J.D.

[D]

He'S our glue. I I. You guys are being so secretive. I think I know what happened.

[E]

He he. Okay, let's talk about Scott. 08 Porsche. What kind of Porsche?

[F]

Cayenne.

[E]

I swear, you couldn't write. Write the material that comes out of this show, it's just like automatic. I mean, it's ridiculous. The stuff that happens in reality is better than the stuff we can come right. It's a V8S. Is that right?

[F]

That's right.

[E]

Wait, what color?

[B]

Gold.

[E]

Okay. Average. Rough or clean.

[F]

Average.

[E]

It's 10 to 12 grand. I need to see pictures. I need to see a VIN number. Can you go to givemetheven.com and load it up? Where are you calling from?

[F]

Sounds good. I'll do it.

[E]

Yeah, Houston. Okay. And you know the deal. If we don't beat your carmax off, we owe you 100 bucks. We're gonna beat it. There's no doubt on this one. There's no doubt.

[F]

Sounds good.

[E]

If you don't have your VIN number, just put your plate number in. It'll work too. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4, 8. 800. Axel Rose. Mike, we need to re. I want. During the break. We need to look at all the music returns. We're going to read. We're probably going to change them all.

[C]

I'm looking through somebody in Boston and there is somebody dead in from the band Boston. It's like the singer.

[E]

He's been dead for a long time.

[C]

No, the drummer died this past year. Link cares about the drummer.

[E]

Unless it's Neil Peart.

[D]

I don't think it's the.

[E]

Nobody cares about the bass player. They did it to get laid and they couldn't even get laid.

[C]

Black Sabbath Sound garden. Yeah, he's got. The rest are fine.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

And they were on stage in Omaha the following night. I guarantee it.

[C]

I saw this one on there with Jerry Lee Lewis. All right, let me play it.

[E]

He's not dead. He's not dead. The man is alive. He is for rent. You can rent him for $10,000 and if you fly him in on a Lear. I know the whole package. He played the steeplechase part. You gotta fly him in from Faraday, Louisiana. On a private jet, get him home in his old ass, and they wheel him in and you think he's dead. You think he's. You're like, this son of bitch can't sing. He's dead. Look at him. He's breathing, but he's dead. And then you prop him up on that chair and he just comes to life.

[C]

It's funny because the devil has these lists of people that are alive or dead, and he's on the list. Jerry Lewis as dead. Correct.

[E]

Good morning, Satan.

[B]

You guys.

[E]

What?

[B]

That's the funniest thing. Jerry Lee Lewis? Yeah. He does it. He does do a show pretty. Pretty cheap, too. The private jet cost a lot, and you got to give him a carton of camels.

[E]

Carton of camels?

[B]

Yeah. He's got a rider.

[E]

Does he?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm telling you, his hands. Have you ever seen a dead person's hands or something that's right on the edge of dying? It looks just like that. I said there watched his hands while he was playing at this private party, standing around, I was amazed. He sounds good, too.

[B]

See, to me, as crazy as I am about music from the 50s and 60s, I can't wait to do the trifecta on those guys, right? Jerry Lee Swaggert and his other cousin Mickey Gilly, right? They're gonna. Man, we're gonna have a ball.

[E]

Oh, you're gonna get them all down to hell.

[B]

You bet.

[E]

How are you gonna get swaggered to hell? I thought he was a man of the cloth.

[B]

Well, let's just say the American public doesn't know swagger like I know swagger.

[E]

Thanks, David. In North Richland Hills, a 14 Chevy SS hot rod with 30 leather roof and nav. Did you hear us bid this one earlier today?

[B]

I do.

[F]

What now? No, I. I didn't hear.

[E]

We bought one.

[F]

I just got in the truck.

[E]

We bought one this morning. What color is yours?

[F]

Black.

[E]

Black at 25 grand, does that sound right? 25, 26.

[F]

It's getting close, man, but I don't know.

[E]

Do you have a title?

[F]

No, it's still. It's got 18. 18 to pay off.

[E]

Okay. Will you handle that? And we'll owe you the equity. I'll give 25. What. What does it take to buy the car? I mean, do you want. Do you want to sell it?

[F]

Yeah, yeah, I'm selling. Just straight out, selling. Okay.

[C]

Do you.

[E]

Do you want to. Do you want to jack around or do you want to sell it? I say that because a lot of people, we start these things and they act like they want to do something, but they're kind of, you know, they don't. I mean, I guess what I'm asking. David, are you ready to do a transaction right now?

[F]

Man, I'm ready to get rid of it.

[E]

Well, I'm ready to buy, so let's do a transaction. And the listeners enjoy it, too. They like the. They like the real. The real factor of us doing something. It's not just conversation. Okay. So does your car. You got a 14 SS hot rod Chevy with leather roof, roof and navigation. Has it been customized in any way?

[B]

No.

[E]

Okay. Good. It still has factory warranty left in it because it's got 30. It hadn't been programmed. The supercharger hadn't been jacked with. You didn't put aftermarket wheels on it. No pipe, no. No emissions changes. It's a still in factory warranty, Correct?

[F]

Man. Yeah. That thing looks like it come off the floor.

[E]

Okay, so. And you want to sell and I'm gonna buy. And you're right here in Tarrant County. We can do it today. So I'm a $25,000 buyer and I'll go ahead and bump myself to 26,000. Do I own it?

[F]

Not yet. But I do appreciate the offer on that.

[E]

Okay, well, then come back with a counter offer. What does it take to buy your car?

[F]

Probably about 28.

[E]

Please don't take me being rude, but we're on there and I got to keep this flowing, right? There ain't no problem. There ain't no calling wife. There ain't no asking my friend or my pastor. We just decided we were going to do business. So I'm here, you're here. What does it take to buy the car?

[F]

28.

[E]

28 grand buys the car. So if I give you 28, do I own the car?

[F]

You own the car.

[E]

Okay, then I own the car. Okay, so I'm gonna put you on hold and I'm gonna get you with the bar we're gonna set up. Now, look, the only thing that will screw this up is if this car has a bad Carfax history report.

[F]

No, it's got one.

[E]

Nope, nope, nope. Can't have anything. It's. It's got an accident.

[F]

It's. Yeah, yeah, I got. I got tapped in the back about six months ago from a lady at a red light and they'd done about 4,000 damage to it, but it's all been repaired.

[E]

I know I got to cut it back. So we haven't done a deal. I'm gonna. I gotta. I gotta cut it back. I gotta see the Carfax report. I gotta read it. So go. If it's minor or very minor, then we still might do it. But if it's just pure accident reported. No, I'm gonna have to cut it back at least two GS. At least. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up in the info box. Put what we talked about so the buyer's right up to speed. And after the show, I'll go look at it.

[F]

All right.

[E]

Thanks, man.

[F]

Sounds like a winner.

[E]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4, 800800 radio. My name is John Clay wolf and I buy cars on the air.

[A]

GiveMeTheVin.com presents the John Clay Wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeTheVin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[D]

GiveMeTheVin.Com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[E]

Give me the VIN.

[A]

Givemethe bin.com and now Senor Juan Clay wolf.

[E]

So we're playing dead singers. Who's this dead singer? Dead singer?

[D]

Oh, Billy Joel.

[E]

No, he's not dead. Jerry Lee Lewis is not dead either. Tony.

[C]

Porno Tony Jay Gyles band here.

[E]

Let's play a good jig. I'll spot on. First one popped up. You suck as bad as he does. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. I'm trying to clean up his sucko Saturday.

[C]

I'm trying to clean up his mess here.

[E]

Saturday. Saturday. Tony, if you want the production to El Sucko for the final show of the year, just tune in right here where we play obscure songs that nobody's ever heard of, talk about people that are dead, that are still alive, and basically go left when we say go right. Wesley, good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

How you doing? John?

[E]

I'm just having fun on this El Soco New Year's Eve Saturday.

[F]

Sounds like it, my man. Sounds like it.

[E]

We had to take porno Tony, our board op, and we had to put Turley back in the driver's seat because porno Tony was. He was misfiring. He was not. He was not arriving on time.

[F]

I understand that, but.

[E]

But, but he's. He's making good for it because he just went to go get us all breakfast, right? And some snuff and some BC powders and some more coffee.

[D]

Yeah, it's good old dude.

[E]

Yeah, I like him. I like him.

[F]

There you go.

[E]

But there's more going on here than just winging it. This ain't Wayne's world. Okay, What. What have you got? You got a 13 Mustang GT with 38.

[F]

68.

[E]

68. And it is a convertible or hard top?

[F]

It's a hard top.

[E]

Okay. 68,000 miles. Does it have clean carfax?

[F]

It does. I got a hole in a right rear tail light, but I've got a brand new tail light back seat.

[E]

Let me ask you a couple questions real quick. 19 inch wheels, stick shift, California special. Leather navigation.

[F]

No navigation. I've heard. It's not a California special. It doesn't have a sunroof.

[E]

Leather.

[F]

It is leather. Okay? It is leather sticker. Do anything with it, it's going to have weather. Weathertech match in it.

[E]

What about a stick shift?

[F]

It is a stick shift. It's been royal purple since I've owned it all the way through 16 grammar. 16 grand?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Nice.

[E]

Yep.

[F]

Okay, well, when you buy that. When you buy that Camaro, I'm gonna come talk to you about a trade.

[E]

Okay, man? Thanks for calling in 800.

[D]

Royal Purple.

[E]

What the hell? Oil. What? Camaro?

[C]

I don't know what he's talking about.

[E]

He's.

[C]

Did you buy a Camaro on the air today?

[E]

Probably sometime, somewhere, who knows? Hey, what's this potluck dinner GMTV potluck dinner list I've been seeing floating around?

[C]

Somebody, one of the buyers in the buying room wanted to do a potluck dinner tonight and it's got some interesting items for the dinner tonight.

[E]

What is a potluck dinner?

[C]

Well, you know what, I figured we'd bring in Bob Floyd to read the list of what was on this potluck dinner.

[E]

Bob does our dope report.

[C]

Well, a lot of what's on there is very dope. Ish.

[D]

And that's why they put me in charge of the rundown on this year's potluck dinner for the end of the year here, here@the givemethe vin.com offices. John, apparently you've got a lot of dopers on the payroll. When someone put the.

[E]

Should we start drug testing?

[D]

We'll say notice on the bulletin board. They said potluck Saturday.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Boy, they came through in big way. Our number five favorite potluck entry, Lucky Charms. Named after the childhood favorite cereal. Lucky Charms is a mellow strain straight from the great state of Colorado. Smoking this one may leave you chasing after a rainbow, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Next up, blue cheese. And you know who in the office offered this one, right?

[E]

No.

[D]

It's that chick. Most people don't think of something delectable when they smell blue cheese. But this combination of blueberry and UK cheese has created something of a pot connoisseur. This strain may do well mixed in a sauce for your wish. Next up, Girl Scout cookies at number three. Girl Scout cookies is a funny name for good grass, but it's also probably one of the most clever. This is the kind that'll put you on your butt for the majority of the day, much like eating too many of those lovable cookies at number four, Golden Goat. You heard me, right? Along with having a hilarious name, it's also a hybrid mixture of both sour and sweet. Said to have been named for the smell of recycled soda cans rotting in heat, which sounds horrid, but probably has a pleasant aroma after a long work day. And our number one favorite, Schnozzleberry. It's unclear exactly where the name for this one came from, though many believe it was a bit of an homage to Willy Wonka's snozzberries. This particular strain is said to be very useful when it comes to vaping, making hash, or just relaxing on the couch after a potluck at work.

[E]

And you're.

[D]

I'm Bob Floyd.

[E]

You keep token Steve in Columbus, Texas.

[D]

Good morning.

[E]

You're on the air, Steve. Hello. A12 cruise, 103 on the clock. RS, leather roof, nav. What color?

[F]

White.

[E]

Little Chevy cruise. Little cutesy cruise. Where's Columbus, Texas? I know where it is, but is it San Antonio area?

[D]

Where's Columbus?

[F]

In between Austin and Columbus and Houston. Just in the. In the hub.

[E]

Yeah, right. Like Lagrange. Ish. No, wait.

[F]

Lagrange on 71, where 71 and i10 come together.

[E]

Sounds like of a. Of a place to go get. Pick a car up.

[D]

No, you got three.

[F]

Good.

[E]

I'm gonna have to send three people after this single. Their tongue will be hanging out before they get there. I don't know, man. Is 3500 buy it?

[F]

No, she can still drive it for that.

[E]

What does four grand buy it?

[F]

I don't know. I. I haven't looked at it at all. I thought it's way more than that.

[E]

Do you want to sell it?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Okay, go to givemetheven.com and load it up and think about it and do a little research and then we'll do something.

[F]

I'll put some pictures on it. It's clean.

[E]

What did my system bid it at already?

[F]

What is that?

[E]

Did you said you put some pictures on there? Did you already go to give me the VIN and the system?

[F]

I can send you some.

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Go.

[E]

If you. If you'll load this goes for you in Columbus and anybody listening anywhere you can go to give me the vin. Put in your plate number or your VIN Number and put the pictures in the computer will literally bid the car right there. It's not some cheerleader suggestion like KBB or all these other flakes that are like, oh, your car's worth 13 8. Yeah, well, we pay.

[F]

We.

[E]

We're saying this is what we'll pay. And you can do it right now. You don't have to call on the show. We'll do it. 800. 800 7234. There is a difference between a checklist writer and a cheerleader. Randy the chipmunk. Randy, I'm gonna. We don't have enough time to get into you this whole segment. But I do wanna. I do wanna. I do wanna share something with you, Randy. Oh, I've got the smell here.

[J]

Is it a nut?

[E]

It actually is.

[J]

Okay, okay.

[E]

So from. I don't remember.

[H]

Don.

[E]

I gotta read it. In Port Neches, Texas. Where's that?

[C]

Port Notch Niches. Natchez Niches. And it's on down in.

[E]

It's down in Beaumont. Beaumont. Beaumont. So we got a Christmas card, Randy. I'm gonna read it to you. Hope holidays are graced with beauty, peace and joy. So I haven't read this yet, Randy. If it's not. It's not much, but it should last you until the Dallas Cowboys are officially eliminated.

[B]

Tell.

[E]

Tell John and I've been. I've been sitting on this card, I guess for over a week. Tell John I'm sorry about not getting c. The Kaepernick jersey. P. Diddy bought them all. Have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, Dan in Jefferson County.

[J]

Oh, that's nice.

[E]

Psych. Avoid bitcoins and goose, but here's some nuts. So he mailed, he mailed nuts. He, he nailed. It's like a half smoked joint for Randy. He mailed a half of a walnut piece.

[J]

See, when you get a Christmas card with nuts in it, it's like somebody put a little bit of themselves in there. But Fort Natchez is dangerous.

[E]

Is it?

[J]

Oh, they eat chipmunk down there.

[E]

Oh, do they?

[J]

Yeah. Oh, first thing in the morning.

[E]

Oh, so he's just trying to lure you down.

[J]

Yeah. I ain't buying it.

[E]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Coming up, later in the show, top fake news stories of 2017. The devil is going to come back and host the game. Who's dead or alive in 2017. We have Johnny Manziel coming in to talk about his Canadian football situation. Yeah, he's playing some sports headlines.

[D]

J.D. ryan will be on later to explain.

[E]

How the hell he's in Rush Limbaugh.

[D]

Where is jd?

[E]

Sickness spreading within the. Give me the VIN office.

[D]

I mean, all you gotta do is. Is be here Saturday mornings. That's all. Just Saturday morning.

[E]

He died of old age, dude. Yeah, I know.

[D]

What happened?

[E]

He's 94.

[D]

He fell off the wagon, didn't he?

[E]

When I was like 2, JD was a radio star. The guy's 94 years old. We run his voice through a processor so he sounds like he's 60.

[C]

Dead or alive. 2017. I guess we'll find out with the devil, right?

[E]

Find out if JD's real, he dead.

[D]

Or he's dead drunk out in Grand Prairie probably.

[E]

He quit drinking and he quit being a racist. Remember? He gave it all up. He's all churchy now. That's why he's no fun. We'll be back in a minute, Okay? Good morning, everybody. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. It is the Saturday before New Year's 2017. I don't even have any plans yet. None. When you get all these kids, man, it just. I'm supposed to take them hunting. And this is the good weather for hunting. This is deer hunting weather. We're at the end of deer season. But the drive all the way out there is holding me back, man.

[D]

Did you guys hear about Steven Tyler?

[E]

No.

[D]

He done still alive.

[E]

Oh.

[D]

What? No.

[F]

But.

[D]

But Bonnie Tyler.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Also still alive.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[D]

So we're 100 on Tyler's and Michael.

[E]

McDonald is still alive.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Cluck Norris. Are we adopted this rooster from Stop six.

[D]

He's pretty cool.

[E]

He's pretty tough. Stop six is ghetto in Fort Worth, Texas.

[C]

You want to play the news story?

[E]

For sure? Yeah.

[C]

This is how we actually adopted him.

[E]

On Nora Street.

[D]

He ruled the roost.

[E]

He just acted like he just owned the block. He had it out for Beverly Thompson. He was scary. He seemed like he was. Would attack you.

[D]

Well, he's been terrorizing the neighborhood across the way.

[E]

This. This just was a mean character. He got Patrick Coleman, too.

[D]

Yeah. He had the biggest claws you would ever want to see.

[E]

The rooster pecked him, attacked his grown son, and scratched his wife, Diane.

[D]

She had to run and run in the house real fast to try to.

[E]

Get away from him. But when he went after their dog Olivia, that was the last straw.

[D]

She pecked him and she. And the dog screamed. And the dog ran up to me and turned over and the rooster was right at him.

[E]

The rooster was taken by Animal Services now in the pen where they say he's been on his best behavior. The handsome fellow may be put up for adoption. For now, he's getting good care and a nickname, Cluck Norris, a bad egg off Norris Street.

[D]

Well, I'm glad he's in a safe place, and the neighborhood is safe itself.

[E]

And we heard that. And with the bleeding hearts that we are, we went ahead and adopted Cluck. But, you know, you can take the kid out of the ghetto, but you cannot take the ghetto out of the kid. He really reminds me. He's got that Pulp Fiction kind of Samuel jazz.

[D]

Yeah, a little bit.

[E]

He's very aggressive. He's. I don't know if he was abused. I don't know if he was molested.

[C]

You want me to bring him in here?

[E]

Yeah, come on in here. Good morning. Cluck.

[C]

Get up there.

[E]

Hop there. Hop your ass up there.

[D]

John, I appreciate all the compliments that you have for me, but you understand that these women down in the Stop Six, that's just my training coming back, okay? You see, I was in the coop just a couple blocks down.

[E]

The coop?

[D]

Yeah. Okay. That's where we live. And the house. Your house is your home right now. My hens, I keep a tight coop.

[E]

You got hens?

[D]

I'm a rooster, okay? And the roosters rules the roost, okay? My hens walk with their head up high and look good and keep a little sunshine on their face, okay? And be happy hens. Cause I'm sick of damn depressed hens in my damn coop, okay? These ladies down on Stop Six, get out their car and look all depressed. That don't get a woman nowhere. And I don't care. You know, many. Many people tell you that all. All the hens are the same. And that's. That's a fella that don't know hens. So I spur them a little. Get your smile on. You know, if the happy eggs come from a happy hen and I'm around, nobody gonna mess with you. You ain't gotta worry about that dog.

[E]

Cluck, why are you wearing that yellow hat and that yellow jacket today?

[D]

Yeah, because it's Kwanzaa and you got the. That's what I does on Kwanzaa.

[E]

And you're.

[D]

You're. You gonna give me some old racial. Racial, not business, not accidental, racist. I heard that.

[E]

Your spurs on the back. Oh, no, no.

[D]

I heard what you did.

[E]

What'd I do?

[D]

Say what again.

[E]

What?

[D]

Did I say what? One more goddamn time.

[E]

What?

[D]

I never heard of what. They speak English and What? That's the line from my favorite movie.

[E]

So, cluck, what do you do with these women? Do they work for you or are they just friends of yours or what?

[D]

I keep them working straight, make the good eggs. Because that's my job, okay? Before I got with y' all now, I arrived with Uncle Roy. And Roy, you know, I don't want to say Roy's got an attitude problem, but he sure complain a lot. Ain't never got a light. I get ready for a cool after lunchtime. Old Roy want a cool, but he ain't got no light. How you gonna smoke? You don't like that, Roy? How you gonna smoke? How you gonna smoke the cool if you don't light it?

[E]

Who's watching? All your gals while you're all your hens. While you're out working with Uncle Ron.

[D]

I ain't got no gals no more. I gotta go out in town and find a whole new coupe full. Because of that trouble I had over in the stop six. Ah. And that old boy's wife that said he was laughing cause she was scared. I'm gonna take care of him too.

[E]

We need to ride down to like West Texas or to Louisiana with Uncle Roy or Easy enough. Go across the river to Oklahoma and he'll get you plenty of hens.

[D]

We done been to Oklahoma four times.

[E]

You didn't find any hens that could work for you?

[D]

Had a good time? I didn't find none of the kind you bring back to your coop. I visit they coop.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

And that was good times. Roy even waited for me out in the truck. Dwayne kept the motor running, kept the heat on. That feels good in the wintertime. Cause my name is Cluck and I'm here.

[E]

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. Dwayne in Louisiana. Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Yes, sir. 2015 F150 Platinum.

[E]

How many miles?

[F]

55 for.

[E]

Does it have a sunroof?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Okay, good. And is it a four wheel drive.

[B]

Or two wheel drive completely loaded.

[E]

The big the eight cylinder or the six?

[F]

Equal boost Eco boost.

[E]

Eco, eco, eco. You know, they don't eco that good. They boost pretty good, but they don't eco so good. Did you notice? That's kind of like eco bs But I think in a drag race they'll outrun the V8.

[F]

Already tried it. Yeah, they do.

[E]

They do. Okay. I felt like it accelerates harder than the eight cylinder. But the eco part, that's all. That's a fallacy. It's a platinum Crew cab. Eco 4 by with 55,000 miles. What color?

[F]

Black.

[E]

Black on black, huh? What city in Louisiana? I've got a office over there by the Harley store office in Scott. We can, we can hook you up there. Thirty, 30. Thirty. Thirty. Thirty. Thirty. 30. Thirty what? Thirty what? 32, 33, maybe 34.

[B]

Yeah, I'm thinking 36.

[E]

It's the miles. If it had 45 miles, I'd be with you at 36. Do this. Go to givemetheven.com and let me see some pictures. Let me pull the vehicle history and I'll try to get you 36. I don't think I'll get there, but I'll damn sure try. Maybe I'll meet you in the middle of 35. All right.

[D]

Too many damn miles.

[E]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Do we have another black, white, Latino or other? We do, yeah. DJ Pre K, Whitey Blackie, 8 Mile B, Rad. He's here. In the house.

[G]

In the house.

[E]

Good morning, sir.

[G]

I got a doozy for y'.

[B]

All.

[E]

This is the strength of street knowledge.

[G]

Okay, so we got some South California people who decided it was a good idea to deliver their drugs via drone. So they would fly the drugs out to a customer in the parking lot and then the customer would drive by the house and throw money on the line, you know. Sounds like a great idea, huh?

[E]

Yeah, I mean it's almost. It's like Amazon. That's what they're doing.

[G]

It may something like that. But the police caught on to him, of course. And they went up in the house and found syringes and nasty meth and LSD laced candy and all this. So of course, you know, they got charged with possessing controlled substances and child endangerment. So what y' all think? Black, white, Latino or other white trash?

[E]

White trash. White trash. White trash really likes those nasty drugs, the meth and the heroin. I know that's really that rattly white guy and gal.

[D]

The technology aspect of it, John.

[E]

Oh, you think we got another Asian maybe?

[D]

It feels other to me. Plus, you know, LSD lollipops.

[E]

Yeah. Is that a black thing?

[D]

You don't see that, you know, black.

[E]

People don't like lsd, do they?

[D]

Hell no.

[C]

That's. Man, I, I went with you first because those are all white people drugs. I mean, it's just Right. But the technology side, that's interesting. Yeah, I'm gonna go other like a, A white, like a Danish, Swedish type person.

[E]

Well, earlier today we, we, we missed an other. It was a Caribbean. It was a Rastafarian instead of. I forgot what I thought it was. I thought it was an Asian.

[D]

Bit of a trick question there.

[E]

It was. So you're gonna go that this is a. It's not a Euro. My kids are half Danish. You're saying a Scandinavian or a Nordic?

[C]

Yes.

[E]

You know, I'm. I'm lean. I'm.

[F]

You're.

[E]

You're broadening my thought process. I'm. I'm now getting into Russian. I'm gonna go Russian, Ukrainian. That's nasty. White.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Would they be trusting enough just to let people throw the money?

[E]

Would work. Worked for Cluck Norris. There's a lot of Svitlanas over here, and they. They mean it's. It's. Anyway, what is the answer, dj?

[G]

Well, I don't know about no Scandinavian or Russian, but we got a Benjamin Baldasari and Ashley Carroll, so definitely some white trash.

[E]

Good old Azel, Texas. White trash. Show enough.

[D]

Show you right.

[E]

I mean, if you're out from Garland, then you ain't living. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Good morning. You're on the air. Hello? I don't know who this is. He had. Yep. Well, hold on. I'll get you again. Yes, you there? Yeah, okay, I'm good.

[F]

Who's this?

[E]

Where you calling from?

[F]

Hey, man, My name is Mike. I'm in Spring, Texas.

[E]

All right.

[F]

Love listening to your show. You bought a truck of mine back about six months ago, and now I'm selling my other car to you.

[C]

What is.

[E]

Oh, good, good, good. We've already done the other deal, too.

[F]

Yeah, you did the truck several months ago. It was a great deal, man. I appreciate it.

[E]

Oh, yeah, we've really grown a lot in an 18. We're planning on doubling our footprint. Speaking of. Damn it, I forgot to get that. That jobs email address. Go to. Contact [e-mail] we're going to. We are hiring more buyers, and I think we've got the office staff already done. And more drivers and the drivers in Houston, Austin, San Antonio or Fort Worth.

[C]

Dallas, Louisiana, too.

[E]

Louisiana. And probably in Oklahoma City. I know. I can't wait to have somebody from Oklahoma on my payroll, but it's going to happen. So anyway, if any people are looking, they want to be a driver or a buyer, go. I'm just. I'm thinking I'm throwing this out there.

[D]

What?

[E]

You made me think about it. Go to givemetheven.com, click contact us. And also remember, we buy RVs and motorcycles. Okay. What, were you just calling in to give us the high five or did you have something?

[F]

No, I've got. I've got a 2014 Toyota Avalon XL. Premium XLE. Premium. I'd like to see what the value is, which I'll give you.

[E]

For how many miles?

[F]

I'm driving it right now. 35,146.

[E]

What color?

[F]

Maroon.

[E]

Maroon. Bruise color. If you've been listening to us a long time, you knew better than to buy maroon. You get more money out of white, black, silvers, maroon, maroons and dark blues are bad bruise colors. Loser. Blue don't do it. I don't hate it, but it ain't. I'd be giving you more for a better color. I'm just telling you.

[F]

Okay, okay.

[E]

It's an XLE Touring. Premium or regular xle?

[F]

Premium. Got the moon roof, navigation, alloy wheels.

[E]

Freaking maroon. Let's do that. Were you drunk when you picked maroon?

[F]

It's burgundy.

[E]

I know you had a woman with you telling you, oh, that's pretty.

[J]

Oh, that's pretty.

[E]

Okay. She says pretty. All right. I'm. I'm a. 16 G's.

[F]

16 G's?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

That's it.

[E]

That's it.

[F]

All right. 16. Jesus is intriguing.

[E]

Well, it's the money, honey. My name is Cluck, and I came here to buy the car for 16 GS? Yeah. Just go to givemetheven.com do what?

[F]

Site unseen. 16 GS. Can you do 16? 5? And I'll pass you the VIN and shoot you some photos.

[E]

I won't make any money. If I do, and if I don't make any money, I can't keep doing this. I make 400 bucks a car, just what I do. And the five is what I'm gonna get. And I've got to pay. I've got to pay some crackhead to go to your house. It's not a crackhead. I gotta pay good people. I like them. I'm talking like Uncle Roy now. I. I've got expenses, what I'm saying, so I've got to go get it picked up. I got to get it detailed. I got to get it remarketed. I got to pull a dent and.

[F]

We forgot to look at all that for you. Yeah, we.

[E]

Bring it to me.

[F]

Well, yeah. You in Fort Worth still?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah. No, if you come to Houston.

[E]

I mean, I get a move cheap. I get a mug. I get a move for 150 bucks, which is cheap, but it's still 150 bucks. I'll give you 16 1. I'll give you 16. 150. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up. I got to keep rolling, but I do appreciate phone call. 8008-0072-3480-0800. Radio. Remember RVs. RVs. Little ones, big ones, big coaches, expensive ones. And motorcycles. We buy those two, load them in the website. We'll be right back.

[A]

With more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemethe.vin.com.

[I]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you, and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to give me the vin.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemethevin.com and give John your license plate number, and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Give me the vin.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[E]

Lamar and Dallas. 17 Mustang GT, California, California special. 5,000 miles, leather navigation. What color?

[F]

It's black.

[E]

Black like the AC DC album. 29 to 30,000.

[F]

It's got a roush hood scoop. It's got an exhaust on it. It's got a cold air intake. It's really clean.

[E]

Does it have catalytic converters?

[F]

Oh, yes. It's got cats. It's just a cat's back.

[E]

Okay, put me down for $30,000. Andrew. A 14 Subaru XV crosstek with 47,000 miles. Are you a hippie?

[F]

Formerly.

[E]

Okay. You know, I think there's a lot.

[F]

I'm looking to buy a new truck.

[E]

I think there's a lot of former hippies that. That. I don't think that Subarus are for hippies anymore.

[F]

They're not.

[B]

I voted.

[F]

I voted Trump, and I'm happy to.

[E]

Drive a Subaru, but, dude, don't say that out loud. They might cancel your warranty. Hey, is it a premium or limited?

[F]

It's limited.

[E]

A Subaru driver that voted for Donald Trump. Don't ever tell anybody at the dealership, dude, they'll wreck you out. Those. Those lefties are crazy, man.

[F]

I had to get the free bed for Mattress Mac.

[E]

They're crazy. They'll like. They'll screw. They'll. They'll screw you up. They'll vandalize your property. They'll try to kill you.

[F]

I got.

[H]

Be careful.

[F]

There's a bird. There's a Bernie sticker on it.

[E]

Okay. Then you'll get good warranty work. Actually, they'll give you 10,000 outside of warranty if you have a Bernie sticker in your subi. Put me down for seven. 17 G's. 15 Silverado with how many miles?

[F]

9,000.

[E]

Casey. 9,000. LTZ does have a leather rift nav, four wheel drive crew cab. 30, 30. 30, 30, 30 something. 33, 34, 35. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up. Max 13 infinity QX56. Not in 13. It was a Q60, not a Q56. Go to Max. Go to. Give me the VIN.

[F]

I'm sorry.

[E]

Go to. Go to. Go to givemetheven dot com and put it in. That's why we use the VIN numbers, the plate numbers, to get the right model. My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars on the air.

[A]

GiveMeTheVin.com presents the John Clay Wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number. No sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your [e-mail] if they don't beat CarMax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Givemetheven.com they've completely changed the car business.

[D]

Gimmethevin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear. He insists any rumors of harassment are fake news. And either way, he has absolute right to use the company's legal team as he sees fit. To the lady who fixes the marquee at the neighborhood church on the corner, surely Jesus will forgive him for mowing that mother down with his father in law's Buick. He says he hates cats. Then again, nothing spelled Sunday morning like Chinese buffet Kung pao. He is the world's biggest son of a. Hey, man, I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty like tall boy. Yeah, buddy. Yeah.

[A]

Want to see what these jackasses look like? Go to john claywolf.com and don't forget to download the podcast the John Clay Wolf show.

[E]

I don't know about this jackass, but the jackass across from me has very long hair and he's. He's a very thick man. And Bobby, you know when you donate that hair.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

To the kids that need it.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

They'll never pass a drug test for the rest of their life. Yes. Maybe Maybe, maybe they'll never ever, ever be able to get a job if they're wearing your hair.

[D]

But all that usage was indirect.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

I picked it up at the Doobie Brothers concert.

[E]

8008-0072-3480-0800-Radio Miler of the day, Robert in Oklahoma City. Get out of town. You kidding me? No. Someone in Oklahoma's calling with a 250,000 mile truck. I cannot believe it. I think the average miles on truck on the highway in the state of Oklahoma is 197. Robert.

[F]

215.

[E]

215. I've got one sitting at the auction that made it from Oklahoma and now it won't start. And it's been three months. We're trying to. I guess we're just gonna sell it on the video sale. It just says something about the air in Oklahoma versus the air in Texas. It just won't run once it crossed that Red River. 07 King Ranch with 200,000 miles on it's worth 2500.

[F]

2500. Now it does have. It has a motor with 80,000 and a new transmission.

[E]

Why would you do all that?

[F]

Necessity.

[E]

Why didn't you just buy a new one? You spent more on that motor and transmission than you would have spent on a like third down on a new one. Not a new one, but a new used one. Yeah.

[F]

I didn't know it at the time.

[E]

A lot of people do that. I mean, don't feel, don't, don't, don't feel bad. But a lot of people do that. And it's just the worst move. It's almost as bad as buying a boat. And if I can tell you that story some other time. But anyway, 2,500 bucks. 800. 800.

[D]

7, 2, 3, 4.

[E]

250,215. But it's got a new motor and a fresh transmission. And if you don't believe me, look off the back of the double wide where we have the deck, there's a big tree. And you see that come along?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

With that tranny hanging from it. From the tree. We use the tree as the cherry picker and we just use. Come on. Actually, that's not a transmission. Oh, oh. That's a six cylinder for the Chevy Nova that your dad and you are gonna rebuild.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, that's why it's orange. What year y' all start that project? Y' all start that project in 92. Well, I'll be damn. You know, maybe the grandkids will finish.

[D]

It a special times.

[E]

800. 807, 2, 3, 4.

[D]

Great time.

[E]

800, 800 radio. Rush Limbaugh, good morning. How the hell are you doing, Sir?

[D]

John?

[E]

Yes. GiveMeTheEven.com is where you go.

[D]

I'm surprised you guys are working to.

[E]

Load your cars in. Give me the vin.com. the system will bid it immediately. Lamar A15, Lexus RX350 with 23. There's no question in the world. I want to buy this car. Are you there?

[F]

Yeah, I'm here. Can you hear me?

[E]

Yeah. Does it have navigation?

[F]

Yes, it is a premium. Plus the navigation blind spot.

[E]

Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it, love it. Go to givemetheven.com. put the plate number in or the VIN number. Either way, it'll work. The system will bid it immediately. I'm gonna buy it from you.

[F]

Yeah. Actually, I just called by the Mustang GT California special. I'd sell them both to you.

[E]

Let's do it. Both. Let's do them both, man. I'm on it. I love to buy them. You got nice cars. I like nice cars. This ain't no junk deal. You know, I tell the buyers all the time, rush that quit using the word cash. I hear him. I walk through there and I hear, like, guys like Rob Ball going, cash, we'll give you cash. How would you like to have that green cash in your hand? What that sounds like is some. Come on. That. That is like a pawn counter or some. Some type of distressed situation. We don't want to buy cars from people in distressed situations, to tell you the truth. Because, A, there's always a title pawn loan that we got a jack with. B, they didn't have enough money to buy tires or change the oil. And we like to pay up for good. Nice, nice, nice, nice stuff. We're more like Neiman's than Cash America.

[D]

Sure, it's a little unbecoming for someone in the wholesale car industry.

[E]

I'll buy the junk all day.

[D]

Really, the only people who take a nice sizable amount of cash these days are and should be pharmacists. You know, you can pay them cash? Yes, I do, usually.

[E]

What do you get from them?

[D]

Except on Sundays? Ah, you know, whatever you got is what I usually ask.

[E]

How does it go? So you just knock, knock, knock. Yes? Who's this?

[D]

Well, here's the rule.

[E]

Hang on. Yes? Who's this?

[D]

This is Carmenita. I work for Rush Limbaugh. Always send someone else.

[E]

Okay, sure.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Hi, Carmenita. What do you need? What's Rush need?

[D]

I think he'd probably like Some Vicodin, a Percocet or two. Do you have any of the old Quaaludes?

[E]

Of course we do.

[D]

I know they're hard to come by. How does $100,000 for everything sound?

[E]

Wow. Carmelita, do you have that much money on you?

[D]

Absolutely. I'm actually, this isn't the only establishment I had planned to frequent today. Going all over town.

[E]

Carmelita, come back about 8:30 after we close and I'll be glad to fill your order. It takes a moment to fill that size of prescription.

[D]

He'll be happy to hear it.

[E]

Okay. Well, Rush, we actually have to go to commercial break, which I know, I know you know what commercial break is is because that's what pays your $50 million a year salary. So here we are. We're going to take a quick break for Rush Limbaugh so he can earn his $50 million a year with this message from this company. 52.

[A]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[I]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to givemethevin.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to givemethevin.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. GiveMeTheVin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[D]

GiveMeThe Vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear. He can't confirm that cranberry juice is a cure for the class, but he currently does not have the clap. And that's either a confirmation or a miracle from God. His New Year's resolution. He's going to quit smoking Camels for good and go on back to Marlboro Lights. Mmm, tasty. He's not superstitious about having black eyed peas and cabbage for New Year's Eve, but he does adhere to his own tradition of cocaine and whiskey for good luck. He is the world's biggest sun of a. Hey, man, I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty like tall boy. Yeah, buddy.

[A]

Give me the vin dot com.

[F]

You guys make me laugh every Saturday morning, man.

[B]

It's awesome.

[F]

Love listening to y'. All.

[A]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show presented by Gimmethe Vin.com.

[E]

It ain't noise pollution, Bob. It ain't. It just.

[D]

We were rocking out, dude.

[E]

Steve in Cyprus. To me, it. Do you want to jam? Go, Bob. You got a good ACDC voice. I think I need to hear some more of that. We'll get to it in just a second. I want to hear you. You get ready. Ready. Get those vocals clear. Steve. A10 infinity G37 Sport. Sport. Sport. Is it the coupe or the two or the four door? Huh?

[F]

Four door.

[E]

Four door. Okay, got it. And it has 25, 000 miles. Does it have a clean carfax?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Does it have factory navigation?

[F]

No navigation.

[E]

What color?

[F]

Slate? Blue.

[E]

Damn, everything's going so good until we lost the nav and got into blue. Where are you from? You're not from around here. You wouldn't have done that?

[F]

No.

[E]

Right.

[D]

Where are you from?

[E]

The east coast or like the, like Detroit, Michigan? Chicago. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now makes sense. Does it have the little rust on the wheels?

[F]

The little what?

[E]

A little bit of rust. That. That should. Did it live up there? Did the car. Did the car.

[F]

No, no, no, no. It was. It was purchased in, In Houston.

[E]

Okay. Did you buy it from a Vietnamese man?

[F]

No.

[E]

Then you might not have bought it in Houston. I'll give 11 grand for the car. I'll give 11 grand for, car. I'll give 11 grand.

[F]

Thanks.

[E]

Go to givemetheven.com and load it up. That goes for everybody else, Rush Limbaugh. Wait, wait, wait. I hate to turn this off because I really wanted to hear Bobbo sing. You know what? We'll have Bobbo singing hour number four and the guys that miss it will just have to get the podcast. Podcast goes up at 2 o' clock and this week half of it's not gonna be cut off because Porno Tony got relieved of his duties about an hour ago and mid show sprung a leak.

[D]

I told you, I like it.

[B]

Him.

[E]

I like him. He's a nice guy.

[D]

I know what porn guys are gonna do. That dude, you know, there's just something incontinent about him.

[E]

I. I mean, I've never. I mean, here's the deal. If you get an opportunity to run a syndicated show and you've got a new system in front of you and you want to do it, then you need to come up to the studio when you're not on air and learn the freaking system and listen to a podcast and listen to how we in and out, listen to what we're doing and figure it out and become good at it. Don't get on my freaking radio show in the middle of it and start screwing everything up and playing commercials off your freaking phone and not turn your ringer off and have everything late, hot, heavy, wrong. Playing clips, intros from the 50s.

[D]

The hell, Charlie?

[E]

Where'd you get this guy?

[C]

I didn't get him anywhere.

[E]

What the hell? I just had enough. I had enough. And I had to cut him loose in the middle of the show. And I'm. I. I hate to do that around the holidays. That's not my style. I gave him a car.

[F]

Nice.

[E]

I did. Right out of the gate. And then he'd take off in the middle of the day to come drive back to Fort Worth because he didn't get insurance on it. I mean, this guy has been a plethora of ridiculousness. And then running that video board at the auction. He's got to go pee every freaking 20 minutes. And so Rob's got to be there to back up for him. Bring a freaking bottle. Pee in the bottle. You're flying an airplane. You can't stop, right? What the hell's wrong with people? I'm sorry.

[D]

Hi.

[E]

Rush Limbaugh.

[D]

John. I used to have that with a young fellow years ago. Worked with me in St. Louis back in the bad old days and sent him off. We're doing talk radio of a political bent early on, moved down to Florida. Sky's the limit. And the money just came out of thin air. But I had to let this guy go after 6 weeks. After 6 weeks, I could tell he either had an alcohol problem or was a real lane brain. And so. And it's been the best thing for the both of us because my Show's better. And J.D. ryan went on to Dallas Fort Worth and became a legend in his own time.

[E]

Is our number 800 7234-7237-2347-2344. Not one. 800-800-radio.

[D]

Yeah, that's right.

[C]

Russia knows it.

[D]

You can call me on it sometimes if you feel like it. Anyway, I was just gonna say I had a great Christmas. I spent it with my friends, the Trumps.

[E]

Ah.

[D]

Which was awesome. At Mar A Lago. Have you ever golfed in Mar A Lago?

[E]

Never.

[D]

Lots of rain, of course, in the past week or so. But we still had a great time. They have a little different kind of a Christmas tradition, the Trumps, which I didn't realize before, but I've really never spent a lot of time around Melania. Do you like the borscht.

[E]

What's the borscht?

[D]

Borscht.

[E]

Borscht.

[D]

I was asking myself the same thing. It's kind of a brothy beef stew with sugar beets and potatoes.

[E]

Potatoes, yeah.

[D]

And it's a traditional Russian dish, which I thought was strange, but the Trumps, they love it. They had gallons and gallons of borscht and vodka, which was awesome. I like vodka.

[E]

Does Melania give you that look after she's had a few cocktails? I've heard about this. I heard that. She'll throw the.

[D]

Look, I'll tell you, because Donald J, bless his heart, he's working really hard right now. He's got a sixth hole at Mar a Lago is a tough, tough hole. And he's working with his, you know.

[E]

With his three wood and his coach.

[D]

And so he's tired. He naps a lot. I'll tell you, Melania, when the Donald is napping becomes a whole different woman.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

And I don't want to say too much, but he ever played Trouble?

[C]

No.

[E]

It's been a while.

[D]

You know, I jump you, you jump me, you're back to the pot. Papa. Manic old goody.

[E]

A six. Trouble.

[D]

You know, Trouble.

[E]

The kids game. Yes, yes.

[D]

She beat my ass all weekend long at that game.

[E]

Everybody.

[D]

Happy Christmas, everyone. Happy, happy Christmas, Peretz, to you and yours.

[E]

My God.

[D]

Because we like the Peretz, you understand?

[E]

Chris and Magnola 14 expedition with leather and nav. It's got 65 clicks on it. Is it an XLT with leather or is it a Lariat or a King Ranch or what?

[F]

I believe it's extra limited.

[E]

Yeah. Do this. Go to givemetheven.com and put the VIN number in and throw me a couple of pictures. And the VIN number or the plate number? Just your license plate will work. And then we'll know exactly what I talked about. All right, good. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[D]

Oh, don't forget my old friend, Ed melendez senior.

[E]

Nikki. A 15 jeep patriot with 65, 000 miles worth. 8 grand. Grand. 7 grand. 8 grand.

[B]

Awesome.

[E]

Thank you. Oklahoma City Boomer, huh? When is the big game? When is the Oklahoma. When do the OU Patriots play?

[F]

The OU Patriots?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Never.

[E]

The Indians. The casino gamblers. The OU Gamblers?

[F]

Sooners. The Sooners.

[E]

Oh, they're called Sooners. I thought they were the Indians. I thought it was the Oklahoma University of Oklahoma Indians. All this time. Who are you talking to, Nikki?

[F]

You're close. You're a Texan now.

[E]

You would think that Nikki up in Oklahoma City.

[D]

Nikki up in Nikki. Where's Nikki from?

[E]

Nikki's an ou. She's an OU fan from Oklahoma City. Yeah.

[D]

That's far, Nikki.

[E]

Right?

[D]

That's maybe too far for me to go today. Doing tomorrow.

[E]

What are you doing tonight? Is what Baba wants to know.

[F]

It's a day.

[E]

Baba's having a party at his house and we're going to give everybody an invite in a little bit.

[F]

Hey, lots of liquor and I'm there.

[E]

All right, there we go. Liquor's quicker.

[D]

We got your liquor.

[E]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Everybody's been sick around the office. Is it getting better? No.

[C]

We lost one guy to flu right now.

[E]

Who?

[C]

Jeff.

[E]

Jeff? You're Jeff?

[C]

Yeah. Your buddy Jeff Biggs was down for a little bit, but he fought through it. He's a little stronger, I think. And then Boots was out.

[E]

Out for a day.

[C]

I mean, it's been passing like one after other. Luckily we have a pharmacist in Canada that I actually. Cuz they hit me too, and it took a Z pack and that stuff actually worked. I mean, it, it literally.

[E]

I, I, ironically, I had my doubts. I had an idea to call the pharmacist in Canada and send a case of Z packs. We need it just so that we would have them on the wall like condoms in the bar. When you need them, you need them. You don't want to wait.

[D]

And nothing works like it.

[E]

Yeah, you. And, and we had them. And it saved the day for many.

[C]

Yeah, it did for me. I mean, I was out. I was like, there's no way. This past Saturday I took it, cleared it up. The next day was perfect.

[E]

It was just like the son of a. He doesn't have chlamydia anymore. Yeah, exactly. And that Z pack will knock it right out nine times out of ten. Good morning. You're on the air. Hello.

[F]

Hello.

[E]

Yes.

[F]

2006 Toyota Tacoma. Yeah.

[E]

How many miles?

[F]

158.

[E]

Eight grand. I need to see it, though. Go to givemetheven.com and I'll buy it. Dan, I got 55 seconds left before we go to commercial. We start hour number four and we lose Z, we lose 92.5, and we lose the buzz. But in Houston, you can jump over to 97.5 ESPN and catch our number four. What you got, Dan?

[F]

Oh, hey, man. I just want to tell Rushman I was a fan of. I'm a fan of Percocet. Oh, kudos to him.

[E]

Rush he likes. He likes Percocet, too, you know, and.

[D]

A lot of people would like him if they. If they ever just try them, you know, you don't have to. I mean, you have to have a prescription, sure, but that's easy. You know, Anytime you hurt really bad, tell your doctor, hey, I'd like a Percocet. And you get them and you try them, you know, don't take like four a day like I do.

[E]

Thanks, Dan. 800-817-234. Our number four on deck and Facebook. Junkly Wolf Show.

[A]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethevin.com.

[E]

Dead rock star. First Saturday. This guy died in, like, 89, didn't he?

[D]

A long time ago, maybe. I thought it was in the early 2000s.

[E]

The new singer for Boston is almost as good.

[D]

Pretty good.

[E]

That night you and I went to Boston, I was way impressed.

[D]

That's one of the best concerts of the last five years for me, man.

[E]

Me, too. And Joe Walsh was blessed. Strip club. Good morning. Strip Club dj, You're on the air. Strip club. Hey, what do. What.

[F]

What's up, Johnny Wall?

[E]

Oh, not much. Can you take it off speakerphone?

[F]

Yeah, hang on.

[E]

The professionalism shines through. It's better. It's better. It's better. What's up, man?

[D]

All right, man.

[F]

I got a. I got a couple of bones to stick with you.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

All right, first of all, what's this about your hiring Louisiana drivers? Something you need to tell me?

[E]

No, we're. We're.

[F]

We're.

[E]

We're adding people all across the board because we're growing.

[F]

Okay? So I don't have to worry about my little job with you, right?

[E]

No, you and Mama Lil are tight. Y' all will be running the operation. Strip club dj and Mama Lil's transport. Sounds very insurable. Oh, boy, does it?

[D]

Bondable, even.

[E]

Bondable. And insurance.

[F]

And also, what's this about? What's this about you giving Porno Tony a car, but you won't give me one?

[E]

Well, it was eighteen hundred dollars, and I took it out of his check every week for the past five weeks, and he still owes me a little bit on it. I didn't officially fire Porno Tony. We just fired him from running the board. We sent him to the. The breakfast burrito place, and then he went and got me some snuff and some BC powder and the Starbucks. So he's still helping, but he's not running the board any longer. He just doesn't have that it factor. Strip Club. You know, that factor that you have, that, that balance, that feel, that. That sixth sense of timing. You got it, Strip club. You've got it. We need you back.

[F]

I need to talk to you off the air because I'm in the search for a vehicle.

[E]

Oh, wait, we. We have your brother here.

[C]

Kulag, everybody.

[E]

Hi, Kulag.

[D]

That's why he called.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Cause he's got no car.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Hey, strip club, how's it going?

[F]

How's it going, brother?

[D]

Doing okay? Just had pancakes.

[E]

Well, strip club, what kind of car do you want?

[F]

I'm looking for a truck, like a Nissan Frontier or a Nissan Titan.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Probably a four wheel drive, something with a big back seat. The fishing pole and a shrimp trap. Make a living and drive the truck at the same time. Go to Pancakes house.

[E]

Strip. Don't take that.

[F]

I just wanted to make sure. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't losing my job here.

[E]

No, no, we love you and the people love you. And I want, I really want you to video with the people. When you walk up in your grand presence, 6 foot 10 inches, 400 pounds, 30 degrees outside, and flip flops and shorts. I want to see the look on their face. He.

[D]

See you later.

[E]

Strip club.

[F]

All right, I'll try to get some video for you.

[D]

Smile for the camera.

[E]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4.

[D]

He said he hates cameras, man.

[E]

Oh yeah, he hates cameras.

[D]

He imagines there are cameras everywhere.

[E]

DJ pr. Have you ever met strip club dj?

[G]

Oh yeah, he came up here that one time.

[E]

He's a big boy.

[G]

Big guy.

[E]

He's a big, big guy. And he lives with his mama and he, he, he sees things. He's a little paranoid. You remember when he got a divorce? Bomb?

[D]

Kinda.

[E]

That whole thing was real weird.

[C]

Well, that was weird. Yeah.

[E]

Looking back on it and do you remember when he used to bring us phone screeners? Yeah. And they were all, they're midgets. And there's the gal with the biggest boobs in the world. And they're all like kind of freak show, carney kind of people.

[D]

Well, they're Aussie Rennie people.

[E]

Rennie people. Yeah.

[C]

I've never was bisexual and tattooed from.

[E]

Head to toe and had this crazy accent.

[D]

And the midget girl was like some kind of a submissive thing, right?

[E]

Oh, she was, in essence.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

She was like into adult stuff. Yeah, like.

[D]

Yeah, that's a great connection to have, you know, strip club.

[E]

I mean, if you, you want to have a party, like a real one.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I mean, he could staff It. Oh, man.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I wonder if the drivers are those friends like that down in Louisiana.

[E]

Well, down in Louisiana, I don't think anybody's real surprised when they show up.

[C]

Oh, they don't even think twice about it.

[E]

Yeah, man, everybody's got a big personality down there. It's. It's. Come one, come all. You never been down there? Hell, I don't care.

[C]

It's like a clown car.

[E]

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Strip club is a very, very, very, very large man. He looks very intimidating. He reminds me of the Incredible Hulk. Have you ever seen him lose his temper and kill anybody?

[C]

He's a teddy bear.

[E]

Yeah. Never. Never.

[D]

If he had, he would have lost it with me.

[E]

Yeah, because you kept poking at him.

[D]

I like to hack on him. He likes it, too. He likes the attention. I think he may be a little bit submissive himself. Does that make any sense?

[E]

It does make sense. Flint. Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Hello.

[J]

Hey.

[E]

Hey. Where's Covington, Texas?

[F]

It's 35 miles west of Waco.

[E]

Okay, that's not far at all. So, like Itasca? Ish. Kind of. Maybe.

[F]

Yep. I'm seven miles.

[E]

Okay. A 15 Silverado three quarter with great. With good low miles, 42,000 miles. Crew cab navigation, no sunroof. Is it cloth?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Is it a long bed or a short?

[F]

Short bed.

[E]

Is it diesel or gas?

[F]

It's six zero with the eight speed Allison transmission.

[E]

Does it have the pretty wheels or. I need to see a picture of the wheels because I don't think you can explain. I don't think I can explain to you what I'm needing to see. Does it have a power driver seat and a power passenger seat?

[F]

No.

[E]

Does have steering wheel controls for the radio and all that stuff?

[F]

Yes. Yes.

[E]

Just trying to figure out how this thing's equipped. Do me a favor. Can you go to givemetheven.com and you can just enter your license plate number or your VIN number and then my system will decode it and it'll tell me the build sheet on it and I'll know exactly what the hell I'm looking at because I just want to bid it. Right. There's like four. Four different versions of this truck. Yes, but I. I will buy it. I will write a check for it. I will come down to Covington, I will pick it up, and I won't send strip club dj. I'll send Bombo.

[F]

Well. Because I look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[E]

Okay, well, that's fine.

[D]

That's right. I look like Danny DeVito.

[E]

Y' all can do twins.

[F]

I'm sorry.

[E]

800-800-72-3,4.

[D]

Sorry, too.

[E]

800, 800 radio. So the disease in the buyer's office is how many people are out today?

[C]

I believe it's down just to one. I didn't walk through there all the way to see, but I know for sure 1.

[B]

JD.

[C]

He may have the disease too, because I don't know where he's at either.

[E]

So he's. He passed away from. From dementia. No. Nobody believes me.

[D]

I thought he seemed goofy there for a while.

[E]

Yeah, of course he is. Michael McDonald is in the studio again. I don't know what the hell he wants. He's. He's. He's always. Michael McDonald. What are you doing, man? What? Come over. Sit down. I don't want your cars.

[D]

Take a look at my Oldsmobile.

[E]

Why do you always sound like that? Can you not just talk normal?

[D]

I'm talking normal.

[E]

And why do you. When you're talking, why are your fingers moving? There's no keyboard there.

[D]

It's a delta. 88. Miles on older.

[E]

On an Oldsmobile.

[D]

Crushed leather, crushed barrel seats. No navigation.

[E]

No. So, Michael McDonald, what have you been doing with your time?

[D]

Old beer 405.

[E]

What have you been doing with your time?

[D]

I've been working. I've been working on the singing. Touring the country. Me and boss gays.

[E]

You and your what?

[D]

You got a friend in bars?

[E]

Are you singing?

[D]

Can I have a burrito?

[E]

Are you singing Carly Simon?

[D]

Just another burrito.

[E]

You hungry?

[D]

Hey, baby.

[E]

We've got some food over here. He can't talk. He has.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you for my burrito.

[E]

You're welcome, Michael McDonald.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

Go over there and eat it. It's good to see you again. Good to see you again. Russia. Leave this on rush. I don't understand why Michael cannot have a normal conversation.

[D]

I think he's probably high on the. Isn't he one of those Dewey brothers?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

That explains everything. Look at him go with that burrito. This is like an episode of Wild Kingdom, waiting for Merlin Perkins to show up with his. With his tranquilizer gun. Somebody's gotta put this sucker down.

[E]

Somebody needs to put down my Michael McDonald. Like a wild jungle.

[D]

And listen, I'm a voracious eater. I think that's obvious. But look at this guy. Holy God. And that's why I don't advocate dangerous drugs like marijuana.

[E]

Andy. And Baton Rouge and 075 series with 130 on, it's worth, like, three grand.

[F]

Three grand?

[E]

Yep. 800800 radio. Michael McDonald, Rush Limbaugh. Where's Tony Romo's dad? I haven't seen him this week.

[C]

I don't know, but Randy's been waiting in the locker. In the locker?

[E]

The green room.

[C]

For a while after you gave him that nut. He had some stories he wanted to tell.

[E]

I thought he said he was gonna take his nut in the green room. What do you got, Randy?

[J]

What? You want your nut back?

[E]

No.

[J]

Okay. Cause I hate it.

[D]

Now.

[J]

Just having a smoke with my friend Rusty out. Right here, man. It's a beautiful day. I like it when it's kind of cold, cloudy like this. Crawl up in the tree and play with mama.

[E]

Do chipmunks. Do chipmunks have nipples on their underbelly Like. Like cats and dogs?

[J]

Do I look like I have nipples?

[E]

Well, I just didn't know how it worked.

[J]

All animals got nibbles, John. That's a. Are you high? That's a high question. So, what'd you do for Christmas? Everybody have a good Christmas?

[E]

Yes.

[J]

Hey, where's J.D.

[E]

I don't know. I think he died of old age.

[J]

Oh, no. I owed him $40. What's up with that, really?

[E]

I don't know, man. I mean, you know, people come. People?

[J]

He's probably just at the nudist camp.

[E]

I had some. I had some life insurance on him.

[J]

Well, we had a good Christmas most of the way. It got kind of weird at the end. Me and Sharonda and all the little ones went over my Uncle Milky's tree for Christmas. M And ain't Florida this filthy red? They got the biggest tree in town. It's a big party, too. I've never seen so many nuts and cheese. Lots of dead crickets and fruitcakes and beer. And of course, my Uncle Scooter was there. And all of his kids. My friend Rusty and Yolanda. And of course, Milti's girl Janice was making her and Sharonda cousins. And let me tell you something. She has grown up into one fine little piece of tail. Just between you and me, right? Oh, man. You know what I mean? She's kind of flirty, too. And the more we all drank, the flirtier she got. I could tell Sharonda was getting kind of hot under the collar. She's jealous. You know what I mean? And we're all dancing. Carry on. And we ate enough to kill a swarm of ducks. It's a great Christmas. And we left in everyone's open presents running around. Everybody had a good. And here's the thing about Christmas. Aunt Florida loves The Pictionary. And Rusty is a very good drawer. Y' all know that?

[E]

Nope.

[J]

Yeah, he went to art school, he said, for the weed. But really he's a good artist and me and him teamed up. I just wish we hadn't been snookered on Budweiser at the time. You shouldn't play Pictionary when you snookered. Cause he starts drawing and I'm guessing, right? And you gotta guess what he's drawing. And what he's drawing looks kinda like a sack of cantaloupe or like two giant water balloons. And I'm guessing everything I say, coconuts, basketballs. And then he starts to draw a neck and a face with big beautiful eyes and luscious curvy chipmunk bearing hips. Now, we looked at a card later and we all had a last about it. Everybody except Sharonda. You know what he's trying to draw?

[E]

What?

[J]

Shakira. Y' all know Shakira?

[E]

The hips. The hips don't lie like that.

[J]

Shakira and I didn't know that. Of course. We all drunk her and Couldie Brown. So I said, janice, it's your cousin Janice. And Sharonda didn't like that.

[E]

She's a very multicultural Christmas.

[J]

Janice had crept into my mind. I made up with her for it. It's all right. She liked her Christmas present.

[E]

She had a good one.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

Good.

[J]

I got her a Wii.

[C]

A Wii?

[E]

A Wii? Yeah. They still make those?

[J]

Yeah. Cause last couple years she's got a little bit, you know, sick in the hips. So she use that Wii and get it down a little bit. Also, I got a prescription for this legal speed.

[E]

I got my kids Xbox One.

[J]

Did you? Yeah, they love that.

[E]

And I got them hoverboards. Segway started making a new hoverboard, like for kids.

[D]

No way.

[E]

And it's good and it's not. It's only about a hundred bucks more than the. Than the cheap hoverboards that were burning everybody's homes down, man. Yeah, it's. It's wonderful. I'm very impressed. 300 bucks. And it's. I mean, you know, Segway costs like two grand.

[J]

Awesome. You know, it takes four chipmunks to operate.

[E]

It's. Segway made a electric car that put Elon Musk out of business immediately. Yes, because Elon Musk. Because Tesla sucks. Hey, we've got to go to break. What's your name?

[D]

Randy.

[J]

It's me, Randy. You're. Man, you're high as a nugget.

[E]

No, no, I just haven't slept much. I went to sleep at 4 this morning.

[J]

What's the matter?

[E]

I just can't sleep. Something's wrong with me. Well, I've got issues.

[J]

Maybe you should smoke some weed.

[E]

No, this is really not my deal. You know, every time I do that, I realize why I don't like to do it about every 18 months.

[J]

Yeah, I never get that this time of year.

[E]

All right, we'll be right back.

[J]

Okay. Merry Christmas.

[A]

Givemethevin.com presents the John Clay Wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[I]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read their reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. GiveMeTheEven.com They've completely changed the car business.

[D]

GiveMeTheEven.com so easy. You can do it. And you, your underwear.

[B]

And now it's time to get your festive on. It's the special New Year's Eve weekend edition of the John Clay Wolf show with me, Satan.

[E]

Satan. Good morning, prince of darkness. You know, you are a perky character for a guy that has such a bad rap.

[B]

Well, you know, about 15,000 years ago, I figured, you know, why so glum? I mean, nobody wants to see a, you know, a damnation that affects a guy that poorly. Why not turn that frown upside down, Devil? So that's what I did.

[E]

Well, Satan, there's other people that want to ask you questions.

[B]

Oh, really?

[E]

Yes, Steven. Stephen Hawking, you know, the physics scientist, the atomic scientist.

[B]

He'd like to ask me a question.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Is he able to do that?

[E]

Well, yeah, he talks through a computer.

[B]

He doesn't look that good.

[E]

He doesn't, but I mean. Steven, are you there?

[F]

Yes. I would like to ask the devil a question.

[E]

Okay, Steven, what is it?

[F]

What's the best stock to buy for 2018?

[B]

Well, Stephen, that's a hard one. If. If I were you, I would look into Acme Brick. I think that's gonna be a real good one down Texas way. You get it?

[E]

I thought Stephen also wanted to ask him. Stephen? Didn't you want to ask him why he did this to you?

[F]

Did what?

[E]

Made it where you can't walk or talk or move.

[F]

Oh, that wasn't the demo.

[E]

What was that?

[F]

That was battle of the network Stars. I laughed so hard with a six million dollar man Couldn't I die?

[E]

Stephen Hawkins sister Sounds the same, though, which is what's weird. And she's here with us.

[F]

I'm Steven. Sister Judy.

[E]

Judy, why do you have to speak through vocoder?

[F]

Just to make Steven feel better.

[E]

Okay. You're just a good support system.

[F]

Yes, he's a good support system.

[E]

Why do you walk around in a wheelchair?

[F]

Justin makes Devo feel better.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

He has all of the money.

[E]

Well, that's what I was wondering. Does he take care of you and your husband and your kids?

[F]

He doesn't have to. I was like.

[E]

You're a what?

[D]

Steven.

[F]

My sister is a little bit of a slut.

[E]

But do your family. Do they all leech off of you and they, like, mirror you so they can get more money out of you? That's what I'm. I see your family around here, and, I mean, everybody's rolling around in a wheelchair talking to their vocoder, but I don't think that they have the same problems you have.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

She's done it for decades now.

[E]

Do they just do it to get into your pocket?

[F]

I don't have any friends.

[E]

Do you feel like Des Bryant when he's complaining about his family, how they all have their hand out?

[F]

Yes. Except that Des Bryant is a wide receiver from the National Football League. I can't throw a ball or catch it. Footballs make me feel depressed.

[E]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. He's what?

[F]

When he's not around, we all laugh about him.

[E]

Y' all are a weird group, man. Hey, Richard in Dallas. Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Good morning.

[E]

What you got, sir?

[F]

Hello?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What you got?

[D]

Richard's mad. Richard's mad. I can tell.

[E]

All right, you shut up, Bobo.

[F]

350 King Ranch. Leather. No. No sunroof, no navigation.

[E]

Is it a dually?

[F]

Yes. Yes.

[E]

Four wheel drive? 80. Has it turned 80 yet or is it still 79?

[F]

79. 917.

[E]

Oh, okay. And you live in Dallas?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Are you driving the truck right now while we're talking?

[F]

I am.

[E]

Okay, you need to stop. Where are you going?

[D]

Parking.

[F]

I'm going to cater.

[E]

Oh, hell.

[D]

Why would you do that?

[E]

What are the miles again? 79. What?

[F]

79.

[E]

18. Shut up, Bobbo. Turn him off. 79. I'm trying. I got this mule. You're just holding its head. Hang on. 79. 918. So we've got. We've got 72 miles or something like that to work with or 82 miles. Can you make it back? Can you make it to your destination back without rolling over 80?

[F]

No, not really.

[E]

How much is a record, early?

[C]

I mean, where is he from?

[E]

Where is he at? Where do you live? If, if I buy the truck, can we go pick it up with a wrecker where you're heading and we'll just, we'll bring it back here and I got to keep it under 80,000 miles. You don't understand the psychology of this. I mean, to have that truck with miles still in the 70 versus 80, it's, it's weird. It's weird. But I understand this isn't going to happen. So do you have a title to, to it?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Well, 20 grand. Buy it.

[F]

Let me load it. Let me load it up and I, I'll send it to you. It won't have much more. It'll be less than 250 over the 80.

[E]

I know, it's, it's just the point. It's like, how old are you, sweetheart? Oh, I'm 51.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

I don't date chicks over 50. It starts with a four or, you know, whatever your taste is. You might be into the 20s. Everybody's got difference. J.D. you know, he likes them in the 80s. It just, everybody's got different opinions. But I want to buy this truck. I really, really, really want to buy this truck because I have a place to go with it. I'm actually going to keep it for a horse hauler at my ranch.

[F]

It's a good truck.

[E]

Okay, good, good.

[F]

I'll load it up and send it to you.

[E]

Thanks, man. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[D]

Good morning, I'm Gail. Bob.

[E]

When I'm on to one that I really like. Yeah, it's nothing against you. I wasn't like trying to do you like I was doing Tony earlier, cuz what I was doing Tony, what I was doing to Tony was sincere, right? I was. But with, with you, I, I didn't want you. I, I, I've got this truck, this deer in my sights. Right, right. And I've got my scope up and I don't need you sitting there hollering.

[D]

Well, need, need and want are two different things. Just because you don't need me to do it doesn't mean I'm not sitting here doing it internally because sometimes that stuff just leaks out, John.

[E]

Right.

[D]

And that's the way it goes.

[E]

But Mike is a, is a grade A producer and he can just turn your mic off.

[D]

Right?

[E]

Actually, I, right there have you noticed.

[D]

He never does when you tell him to.

[E]

That's true. What mic are you on?

[B]

Huh?

[E]

I'm okay. I found it. I found it. It's perfect.

[D]

I'm not telling you.

[E]

It would have been smoother for me to just do that, and then everybody would have been cool. If I ever do do that to you, don't take it personally. Don't get all bent. Don't go storm out the door and load in your car like an angry woman.

[D]

I don't take anything personally.

[E]

Oh, you take everything personal. You're worse than a woman.

[D]

No, I do not.

[E]

To the woman.

[D]

Did you say I was like a woman?

[E]

You're like a woman.

[D]

Yes, you did. I don't take anything personally.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[D]

The word is professional. And I spell mine with a capital P because I'm here to be in the radio business. It ain't radio, friends. It's radio business. Right.

[E]

Rush Limbaugh, what do you think about Stephen Hawking being a part of the show?

[D]

He's a really good guy. I don't find him very interesting. Yeah, you know, see me after 5pm on any given weekday. I mean, you talk about immobilized.

[E]

Do you think we should just keep him around and do like his family does and just get his money? Let's just. I mean, let's ride the gravy train.

[D]

He seems to like to hang around.

[E]

He does. And, I mean, it looks like he likes to pay for things.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And he. Look, he's smiling.

[E]

Is he? Is he smiling?

[D]

Well, it's kind of hard to tell.

[E]

Hannah, what do you think? Hannah, if you'll go over there, he will take care of you if you take care of him. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. There she is. He's been taking care of me. He bought you a new car. I saw that new Corvette out there. Guys, Stephen Hawking bought you a brand new Chevrolet Z06. Configurative.

[D]

Stephen Hawking.

[E]

The shotgun side. We like to put the top down, go out in the country, and then I put the top down. Your boobs look a little bigger too. No. Did you get a new set?

[D]

Go ahead.

[E]

Thank you.

[J]

Steven.

[E]

This is like my boyfriend. Oh, is he. I know. Jealous. Well, I'll bet J.D. is gonna be mad. I want to get something out of it.

[J]

Right?

[E]

We need a new studio. I need an new board. This is the life. It is. You gotta do it as best as you can. Like when I'm up on a pole and I'm thinking, oh, my God, it hurts. I'm gonna get down I don't get down until I make 400. And sometimes it takes 20 seconds and sometimes it takes 40 to make $400. Well, sure. That's quick. That's the kind of job I've got. Good at it.

[D]

Rock and roll, girl.

[E]

What are you gonna do when you get. When you age out and you're not as attractive? Look at my babies. I'm gonna sell the Corvette. Yeah. Go to Guatemala. Yeah. You've got it all figured out. Yeah. Guatemalan strippers can be really old. I did not know this. Yeah, they usually. They. They can strip until they're like 79. I thought it was opposite. I thought South American, Latino countries started him younger. I know you can't tell because the cocaine makes them look younger. Really? Or something. Or something. Yeah.

[J]

I read it in Running Stones.

[E]

Jim in San Antonio. Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Yeah, there's G. Hey, how are you doing?

[E]

I'm good.

[F]

Talking values.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Thought I'd see what my old truck might be worth.

[E]

Do you listen to this station in San Antonio very often?

[F]

Yes, I do.

[E]

Because we're new on here. I don't know if you've ever heard us before today.

[F]

Well, no, I listened to this station. It was on this station and I jumped in the truck to run to the post office and heard you guys talking. Take a spin.

[E]

Good, good, good, good, good. Your truck is so mild out, it's almost worthless just to start with, but.

[F]

Kind of what I thought.

[E]

But it is a King Ranch.

[F]

When I bought it, it had nine miles on it.

[E]

Awesome.

[F]

So I've got my money's worth out of it.

[E]

It's a 07 King Ranch with 233 on it. Is it beat up or is it straight?

[F]

Oh, no, it's clean. It's been. It's been through. It's traded paint twice, but it's. It's been fixed, repaired, and it looks great.

[E]

Yeah. With two dealers.

[F]

He'd never seen one this clean.

[E]

What did he offer you on trade in?

[F]

I'm sorry?

[E]

What did he offer you on trade in?

[F]

He didn't. I was just there getting the Quick Lube service deal.

[E]

Did you know that it's part of their gig to hang out at the Quick Lube service deal in the shop to tell people that that's the prettiest one they've ever seen. Wonder we have a customer looking for it. You ought to see about trading.

[F]

There's no way a dealer would take a car with 200 grand plus on it.

[E]

Well, no, they'll take it, they'll lie to you and say they have somebody for it. So you'll in, you'll engage in a new one and they'll take it in on, trade for something real cheap, something just flip it over to Mexico for. But that's just. I mean I used to be a franchise dealer and like in these 20 group meetings they like talk us how to convert sales out of your service drive is what it's called.

[F]

Wow.

[E]

So anyway, I mean it's just getting hustled. It's just like Hannah hustle Stephen. It's just like Hannah's been hustling Stephen King or Stephen Hawking, whatever his name is. I'll give. I'll give. What. I mean would 233 on 073. 500. Four grand. 3500.

[F]

It's kind of what I figured that if I did try to trade it in on something, I think at this value I'm just going to drive it till it quits, change the oil every couple thousand miles and because I can't really, I mean that's, that's 3, 500 if I buy a new one. That's what, five payments, right?

[E]

True. So I'm glad that you called me and wasted all of my time so that you could make a decision to keep your car. And I get nothing. Thank you very much, Jim from San Antonio. My name is John Clay Wolf and we'll be back in a moment.

[A]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this. Presented by givemethevin.com.

[I]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number, no sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your 6 digit license plate [e-mail] and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your [e-mail]. if they don't beat CarMax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Give me the VIN.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[A]

Gimmethevin.com we now return to the John Clay Wolf show. Call in 800-800-RADIO.

[F]

I really enjoy the show.

[A]

Presented by givemethevin.com.

[F]

You'Re doing a great job.

[E]

I enjoy. Shut up.

[D]

Why you say that, man?

[E]

Just let it go, dog. You're overdoing again. Why I'm overdoing again? Who are you saying? Just let the spice let the emerald boom be the boom and just let it be. Just let it be, man. You're the John Lennon White Al album stoned out of your Mind long hair. Just let it be. Calm down. What are you hot? Are you. Are you all zoomed up on something?

[D]

You know what, man? We don't mess with the Zohan man.

[E]

All right? Zohan. Johnny Manziel, old Johnny is doing something with the Canadian Football League and he's coming in here to talk to us.

[C]

You see the story in espn? Yeah.

[E]

The Canadian Football League is approved former NFL quarterback Johnny M. Johnny Football. Johnny M. Football for an 18 contract, the league announced Thursday. Manziel CFL rights are owned by the Hamilton Tiger Cats, who worked him out in September. Thursday's announcement does not mean that Manzo will play in 18. But the league's decisions, after months of background work, included an investigation into Manziel's 16 domestic violence charge in Dallas. Fort Worth, Texas gives the Tiger Gats the green light to sign him or trade his rights.

[D]

So you know what happened, man?

[E]

What happened, man?

[D]

Nothing happened, man. You're not saying it right. He's supposed to say Tiger Cats. Canada's like rock and bro.

[E]

So Johnny Football's back.

[D]

They love me in Canada, man.

[E]

Man, they're just gonna use you as the world's freak show sideshow. Tallest man, shortest man. I mean, it's gonna be like. It's gonna be like the circus. You're gonna be a circus sideshow to get eyeballs on Canadian football and actually is going to work. Work? No, they did this with Herschel Walker.

[D]

Besides the P's and Q's and King, I was like Commissioner Ambrosia, right, is right on the verge of doing the Canada man song up, man.

[F]

Look how.

[E]

Dude, look how skinny you are.

[D]

Okay, okay, but wait.

[E]

You look like the poster boy for Don't Do Drugs. How the hell are you gonna play football?

[D]

My man the Viking is working on getting us in there. I'm Eric the Viking, so I got it, like, number mean. I got a Ryder for my contract. Okay, okay.

[E]

All right, Tiger Cats.

[D]

Because to be my best in this league, I've got to make sure everything is right and cool. Okay, so I got a rider. Like, you know, the Van Halen rider.

[E]

What did they pay you you for? Oh, oh, oh, you're saying you've got a. A list of demands not supposed to.

[D]

Save money out loud, man.

[E]

Okay, yeah.

[D]

Eric the Viking said.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[D]

I can't do it right now, baby. I'll tell you later, man. It's big, man.

[E]

You're back in the chips.

[D]

I'm gonna buy Corny Dogs by the truckload.

[E]

You're Gonna start jet setting down the Cabo again.

[D]

Snack time, man.

[E]

Hey, I've got your. You know, I've got your jersey up on the wall right next to O.J. simpson. I knew I got O.J. simpson, Ray Rice and Johnny Football Aggie jersey, man, on the. I should have on the walls.

[D]

Goose for right now, man, about 22 bucks.

[E]

17 bucks. We have a wall of shame of football jerseys that are framed in. It's just nice. Who else are we going to put up there? Turley? There was another one.

[C]

Aaron Hernandez. He's coming up.

[E]

He's. He's on the way.

[C]

Yeah, maybe Ray Carruth will be there, too.

[E]

What did Ray Cruz do? He killed somebody. Yeah, I need Barrett Robbins.

[C]

Yes, if Barrett Robbins. He went crazy.

[E]

But see, he. That. Did I tell you?

[C]

Played for tcu.

[E]

But I tell you he was our bouncer. What is he.

[C]

No, I did not know this.

[E]

Oh, absolutely. So Carter Coleman, who does all of our. Do you remember Carter, My buddy, man. He talks like Johnny Foot.

[D]

I think so.

[E]

Yeah. And Carter built this console. Literally, he built this. The. Our show logo. He made the. Give me the VIN logo. He made. He's a. He's. He's a really creative guy. And what was I saying? Oh, he and Barrett were roommates freshman year. Carter was running back. Barrett was a center. We opened the bar together. Carter was my partner on the plaid pig. Barrett was the. Was the bouncer. And he could bounce. But I didn't know about the damn story until I read about it in Playboy when Barrett. It flipped out at the super bowl and went to Tijuana the night before the Super Bowl. Unbelievable. And then did you ever read the story about the cops catching up with him in Miami and him taking.

[D]

I knew they did.

[E]

He took like three bullets, dude, and he kept beating their ass. You got to read this story. Unbelievable.

[D]

Jason, what's. What's wrong with Manzel, man? He looks like he's. Is he asleep?

[E]

I think he could be asleep.

[F]

Music.

[D]

He might have thought y' all were in the middle of a bid or something. I wonder what the deal is.

[E]

Cluck Norris. What do you think about. Cluck Norris is here, too. What? What?

[D]

Well, I don't want me kind to tell you like you might have jack hide your boy. Yeah, but, you know, he was telling you about the rider. He had him on his contract and it passed clean out.

[E]

Well, do you have the rider there in front of you, Cluck, where you.

[D]

Could read it off to us? No, I don't. You might have to ask Johnny, manziel. To tell it to you.

[E]

Johnny, wake up.

[D]

Cause that's who you asked to have on in the first place.

[E]

Johnny, wake up.

[D]

He looked like he was headed the way you wanted him to, you know, full of that Texas A and M furious anger.

[E]

Johnny, Johnny, wake up.

[D]

He laid him out like a water balloon on an 84 Pontiac Sunbird.

[E]

Lord, Lord, there he is. He's awake there. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, get the mic in front of you. No, right in front of you. There you go. Okay, okay.

[D]

Going to take seven horse Judy to wake him up.

[E]

He's awake. Look at him. Okay, see, John, we were talking about your, your new deal with the Canadian Football League. And your, your manager, Eric the Viking said don't talk about the money.

[F]

I.

[D]

What happened to your friend Cody, man?

[E]

But you said that you had a writer, like a request list.

[D]

Well, you know, being professional, you're gonna ride it on your contract like Van Halen. Like Van Halen has a ride in the contract. So, okay, first thing, we need good healthy food, right? So we're working on a deal with Jack in the Box, man. Because you can't just eat burgers, man. Quarterback.

[E]

Chicken fajita pita.

[B]

Johnny. Football.

[D]

Sometimes you gotta have a taco, you know?

[B]

Right?

[D]

Rock on. Second, this is, is real important. They gotta give me every record by Black Sabbath, man.

[E]

Okay?

[D]

We're working out every record, man. Ozzy D, every Black Sabbath series.

[E]

You have the right workout music on in the weight room.

[D]

I'm like, seriously. Okay. Free Scooby Doo one and a vitamins.

[E]

Free Scooby Doo one a day. Vitamins.

[D]

Yeah, and just get them at Walmart or whatever, okay. Cuz they're sugar free.

[E]

What colors?

[D]

Awesome. I like the bone one, man. Yellow.

[B]

Yellow.

[D]

Vitamins and gummies. Tastes awesome. And this one's my idea. You remember the old Van Halen story about. Right, but the writer, okay, no brown M and M's. Right?

[E]

Right.

[D]

Okay. On my contract, R, we're going to have all Brown M&M's because you're Black.

[E]

Sabbath fan, not Van Halen one.

[D]

No. Showing a little love for the people in Cleveland, man. Josh Gordon. Okay, Going on, man. Hey, what's wrong with that chicken?

[E]

That cluck? I don't know. He doesn't like Eminem's.

[D]

And here's the big thing, because cfl, they love me in Canada, man. You gotta have endorsements. That's why I'm working with my friends at the Gas Pipe.

[E]

The Gas Pipe? They have Gas Pipe in Canada?

[D]

No, they got like the maple pipe or Something, man. And to bring my own invention, the Smokingator 2000, to the great white North. Get high on football.

[E]

Johnny Football.

[D]

Johnny Football.

[E]

Thank you, everybody. Johnny Football. He's back. Johnny Manzet. Manzel is a tiger weird around here. Yeah, it's very weird.

[D]

He said what happened?

[E]

It's like Christmas Eve Eve.

[D]

I feel kind of Manzelli.

[E]

Yeah, a little.

[D]

Wouldn't that be cool?

[E]

I've enjoyed this show. It's nice not having JD here.

[D]

It's certainly different timing wise. It seems a little off me.

[E]

Yeah, he's. He, he. He does kind of carry the line.

[D]

He's our glue.

[E]

He's our glue. He keeps the family together. He's the house mom of the dormitory.

[D]

He's like Mr. Cunningham on Happy Days.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, he may be boring, but he's our boy.

[E]

Well, I can read a clock. And we've got 45 seconds. Tell we're out.09 smart car with 12,000 miles. Rex is $2,500 rig.

[F]

All right, well, thank you. That's quick. Bye.

[E]

Kevin and Frisco with 16 Silverado LT TZ with 52 leather roof. Nav if it's nice. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. 28, 5, 29. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up, let's take a look. Got it. All right, everybody. As Dale Hansen would say, for everybody that's been part of this one is. No. What's he say?

[D]

Oh, my.

[E]

So something. Wasn't that Dale for everybody that was part of this one. Anyway, podcast will be up in a few hours. Have a good New Year's. We will see you next Saturday.

[D]

In all the time I've known you, I still don't know what you mean.

[E]

The weekend in the college.

[D]

Out.

[E]

I'm out. Back to the money. Time is money.

[B]

Let's get.