#130 John Clay Wolfe Show 01/06/18

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show — Episode #130 (01/06/18)

Date of Broadcast: February 13, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Cast: J.D. Ryan, Bob Floyd, Michael Turley, Bobo, various callers, and regular show characters
Podcast Theme: “Cars, sports, sex, drugs and rock & roll — just about anything as long as it won't get us fined by the FCC.”

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🏁 Episode Overview

Main Theme:
A high-energy, freewheeling Saturday morning show combining car talk, wild stories, irreverent humor, sports commentary, and regional banter. The Gimmethevin.com team takes live calls to buy/sell vehicles, harps on rock radio and TV culture, touches on drugs (especially marijuana and the legalization patchwork), recalls local history and sports, and lets their cast of regulars riff on everything from auctions to family.

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🚦 Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Kicking Off the New Year / Announcements

• Houston Listener Party: A huge upcoming event for the show’s 1,000th episode in Houston on February 10th, near the Galleria (03:00).
  • “The thousandth show party in Houston near the Galleria. All I know is there’s gonna be free beer and women… and T-shirts.” – John Clay Wolfe (03:00)
• Jobs with GiveMeTheVin: Company is hiring—drivers, buyers, accounting clerks—no commercial license required, just decent driving and basic literacy (25:38).

2. Car Calls — Live Bidding and Trading

• Callers all morning pitch cars to John: model details, mileage, condition, then haggling on price.
• Emphasis on beating CarMax offers and the “$100 or I’ll kiss your ass” guarantee.
  • “If we don’t beat your CarMax offer, I’ll either give you $100 or I’ll kiss your ass.” – John (09:39)
• Notable car deals discussed:
  • 2007 Porsche Cayman (06:48)
  • 2012 Ford F250 (08:28)
  • 2010 Ford Platinum (41:20)
  • 2008 BMW M3 (51:44)
  • 2012 Range Rover Sport (84:46)
• Insights:
  • High-maintenance foreign cars often not worth paying off the loan.
  • Used diesel trucks, especially Dodge Cummins, retain remarkable value (147:19).
  • Convertibles (even sought-after ones like Porsche 911s, Corvettes) usually sell for less than hardtops due to “girly” market and transmission choices (148:33).

3. The Dope Report with Bob Floyd

• Satirical, insightful breakdown of marijuana’s evolving legality, Sessions’ federal crackdown, impact on business owners and underground opportunities.
  • “These new millionaires—be they in California, Colorado, or Massachusetts—are about as likely to trash their stock and give up their fortunes as Jeff Sessions is likely to do or say anything remotely cool anytime soon.” – Bob Floyd (04:00)
• Tips on buying from dispensaries in potential “fire sales,” and the ever-present divide: “separates the dealers from the dopers.” (04:00–06:40)
• Supported by later riffing: marijuana changing business, high as a cultural motif, marijuana seen as both a peacekeeper and a business opportunity.

4. Local Sports, TV, and Media Satire

• Roasting Dallas local New Year's Eve TV coverage, especially the choice of folk band Jackopierce as headliners (“Jack O Crap” nickname):
  • “...they brought this dead horse and set it up on stage and put pearls on its head…” – John (20:18)
• Jokes about news anchors, hokey local media bumpers, bad band bookings.
• Pro sports wall of shame (“Wall of Shame”): OJ Simpson, Johnny Manziel, Aaron Hernandez, Ray Rice. Bids for others to be added and tongue-in-cheek criteria for shame vs. murderers (18:21).

5. Rock & Roll, Drugs, and Listener Games

• Frequent music references: Pink Floyd, Alabama, local nostalgia, playful rock trivia.
  • Jackopierce/“Waffle House” musical parody.
• Alcohol & Drugs: Freewheeling stories about New Year’s, cocaine-fueled Yahtzee games, experimenting with managing beer intake, and a long debate on how certain liquors affect your mood (124:49).
• Comedy Segment: "White, Black, Latino, or Other": Guessing the ethnicity of a criminal based on the news story. Example: man breaks into police station to “steal” his own bike (30:45–34:17).

6. Show Characters and Improv

• Rush Limbaugh and Satan impressions pop up to comment on weed, politics, and cultural topics (34:42, 95:18).
• Randy the Chipmunk: Surreal stories about iguanas in Florida dropping from trees due to cold (“acid-freak iguanas”), interspersed with chipmunk and animal drug humor (77:21).
• Cluck Norris: Expository on the origin story, fending off the “neighborhood rooster” (114:52).
• Aunt Fetterman: Parody “relative” who persistently asks for money and drifts into family stories (66:32–72:31).

7. Pop Culture & Odd News

• Discussion of Paris Hilton's engagement, scathing humor about celebrity culture and reality (105:15).
• Oddball stories: time traveler claims from the future, aliens, plane passengers escaping onto the wing, airline law (117:15).

8. Car Industry Deep-Dive & Market Insights

• Arbitrating auctions: The elaborate, sometimes scammy, process of “arbitration” at auto auctions—delaying, faking complaints, extorting sellers for credits or discounts (128:55–133:03).
• Car market advice: body style over year, used diesels for best value, why certain luxury cars tank in value, and why so many Nissan Altimas gather dust in fields (141:48).
  • “Nissan is the king of [the shell game] at this point...you see a 96 Taurus come through the auction lane, it brings $300.” – John (143:48)

9. Show Growth & Market Expansion

• Show is growing, adding new markets: Corpus Christi, Midland, Oklahoma City.
  • “We’ll have 20 markets by the end of this month…” – John (103:32)
• Listener gratitude, haters-turned-fans, live party plans in several cities.

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🗣️ Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On car maintenance vs. girlfriends:
  “You could keep up a Hispanic 28-year-old girlfriend with two children, an apartment, and a Cadillac cheaper than you can keep that [Porsche] maintained.” — John (07:09)
• On car offers:
  “If we don’t beat your CarMax offer, I’ll either give you $100 or I’ll kiss your ass. It’s kind of like the McRib.” — John (09:39, 10:56)
• Bob Floyd’s Dope Report:
  “Negotiation. That’s the word, negotiation.” (06:36)
• On sports shame wall:
  “We’re not creating a wall of murder...We’re creating a Wall of Shame.” — John (19:02)
• On TV band selection:
  “They brought this dead horse and set it up on stage and put pearls on its head.” — John (20:24)
• On convertibles:
  “...even like a Porsche 911, the cab is worth less money than the hardtop. Because...your girlfriend can’t drive it.” — John (148:21)
• On the car industry scams:
  “So they know they've got you for a thousand if they can find anything within the rules.” — John (130:19)
• On mom's Aspen move:
  “She literally loaded up her Buick estate wagon and drove to Aspen, Colorado...put it in a storage deal, got an apartment and went to work at the polo shop.” — John (105:25)
• On money and personality:
  “Money just makes you more of what you naturally were.” — Michael Turley (107:23)

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⏰ Important Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 03:00 – Houston listener party plans; show milestone.
• 04:00–06:40 – Bob Floyd’s first “Dope Report” of the year, marijuana legality.
• 09:39, 10:56 – “$100 or I’ll kiss your ass” CarMax guarantee.
• 18:21 – Discussion of the “Wall of Shame” in sports.
• 20:18–23:00 – Jackopierce/“Jack O Crap” and Dallas TV roast.
• 30:45–34:17 – “White, Black, Latino, or Other?”: the bike caper.
• 41:20, 51:44, 84:46 – Notable car call-ins and deal haggling.
• 77:21 – Randy the Chipmunk: “iguanas dropping, acid trip” story.
• 128:55–133:03 – Explaining arbitration scams at auto auctions.
• 141:48, 143:48 – Nissan, Altima oversupply — auto market lessons.
• 147:19 – Best value in used diesel trucks—Dodge Cummins.

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🎸 Show Tone & Style

The show is raucous, Southern-flavored, deeply irreverent — no sacred cows, quick to mock bad local programming, dealers, pop culture, and themselves. The hosts banter effortlessly, with stories morphing into satire and character skits. At its heart, the show is a unique blend of real automotive expertise, wild radio comedy, and Texas-Oklahoma life, all underpinned by a spirit of self-deprecation and nostalgia.

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📍 For New Listeners

This episode is a full-bore sampler of the John Clay Wolfe Show — equal parts car bazaar, comedy club, local sports commentary, and Gonzo AM radio. Whether you’re a car enthusiast, radio nostalgist, sports junkie, or just need a wild, unfiltered window into Texas life, this show delivers unpredictable radio with a wink.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Givemethevin.com presents Crank It Up.

[Bob Floyd]

It's red hot.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm digging it.

[Announcer]

Give me the vin. The John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ever get high, Joel? Good morning, everyone. Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and everywhere in between. It is time for your Saturday fun day. Show day. Saturday morning cartoons for those of y' all who set your buzzer to wake up with us. I used to sleep in on Saturdays until I found you boys the Tobacco Spitting Network right here in the South.

[J.D. Ryan]

I just dropped my dad's Porsche into Lake Texoma, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good morning, Bob.

[Bob Floyd]

Hello.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hi, J.D. hey, good morning, J.D. ryan, everybody. The famous J.D. ryan.

[Michael Turley]

Famous?

[Bobo]

He's alive.

[J.D. Ryan]

J.D. damn right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Michael Turley.

[Michael Turley]

Did you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. The same Turley from the Ticket. The one they scream at all the time. Did we ever get those clips? I really want to hear them yelling at you. It sounds so fun.

[Michael Turley]

You might.

[Bobo]

It's a long story.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

They still play it today. And how many years has it been? 10.

[Bobo]

Almost 10.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, they still played. Turley was the young producer on a sports station in Dallas called the Ticket. And they just. They made a lot of bits out of screaming at him. I don't know. Well, would you do wrong? God, would they just make you do stuff wrong just to scream at you?

[Bobo]

On that one, I was kind of being an ass.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobo]

And to Dan. Yeah. It's a long story. I mean, I don't want to get into it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did you offer to step outside and have you ever asked him? What? If he's ever liked to fight an old Grand Prairie boy?

[Bobo]

No. No. No.

[John Clay Wolf]

You ever had your ass whipped? How big of old boy are you? Is what Mr. Mercer used to ask. And that's what Turley asked Dan McDowell this morning. How big is it? McDowell's his last name. Yeah.

[Bobo]

But no, that's not what I asked him.

[John Clay Wolf]

How big of an old boy are you, Dan?

[J.D. Ryan]

Would it change your mind?

[John Clay Wolf]

Charlie told me if you play that thing again on the air, he's going to come over there and whip your ass. That's what he told me. Bobbo, did you hear him say that? Yeah, because he's getting a little older, Little grumpier. And he grew up with a lot of Mexicans in Grand Prairie.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Charlie didn't have a lot of fight in him in the early days, but now it's like setting in the angry old man. 40 year old old man. Those Mexican, you know, they kind of might have something figured out. They'll whip ass to settle problems. And Charlie's declaring war.

[J.D. Ryan]

I see.

[Bobo]

The only part is Right. About that story is it was Grand Prairie.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's about it.

[J.D. Ryan]

Other than that, my word, God keep and save Grand Prairie.

[John Clay Wolf]

3 o' clock in the morning.

[Michael Turley]

Why are we doing this?

[John Clay Wolf]

Speaking of old times, JD did you. You watched the Dallas and understand. I know. Houston, good morning. We're all about it and we're going to be there soon. We're going to do our thousandth show.

[Michael Turley]

When is that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Let me look. February 10th.

[Michael Turley]

Cool. That's going to be right around the corner.

[John Clay Wolf]

The thousandth show party in Houston near the Galleria. All I know is there's going to be free beer and women.

[Michael Turley]

Are we going to do the show there?

[John Clay Wolf]

We're going to do the show there. I think we're going to do it at GAL Studios over on Alabama, right by the Galleria. And then this is the idea that they threw at me. And then after the show, we're gonna come out. There's gonna be like a party in the. They have this big building in Miller Light. We're gonna free beer and women and I don't know what happens after that. And T shirts.

[J.D. Ryan]

I've traveled, man. I'd better get better looking before we.

[John Clay Wolf]

Get down to that average rough or clean T shirts. Sell that T shirts. And I'll pay a hundred for last look T shirts. Those all kind of have sexual innuendo dope report T shirts. I think Bob Floyd does need his own product line.

[Bob Floyd]

Absolutely.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Speaking of. Is Bob over there? Bob. Bob, get over here.

[J.D. Ryan]

He's out there smoking a Havana, honey. Looks like Bob.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good morning. Catch us up on what's going on in the market.

[J.D. Ryan]

I'm not here to shock you, okay? And I'm sure by now you've heard the legal pot party is over.

[Michael Turley]

What?

[J.D. Ryan]

Or is it? This is Bob Floyd. Let's saddle up for this year's first dope report. Now, it's no surprise that U.S. attorney General Jeff Sessions has come out against pot legalization. And from a strictly legal standpoint, the federal government has not changed its stance on marijuana in any form. In fact, under the Controlled Substances act, grass is still under Schedule 1 regulation, which goes way past busting college kids toking up after work in the parking lot a jack in the box. It also prescribes harsh, harsh punishment for anyone who buys, sells, grows, or possesses any amount at any time of day in any location, all the way up to and including those proprietors who've made a killing on pot legalization over the past couple of years. And that's our hook right there. The way around for these poor schmucks who are about to be witch hunted back into a mid-1950s culture where the only people smoking marijuana are movie stars and jazz musicians. Because one thing I can personally guarantee you, these new millionaires, be they in California, Colorado or Massachusetts, are about as likely to trash their stock and give up their fortunes. And as Jeff Sessions is likely to do or say anything remotely cool anytime soon. So here's the handle. While they're falling all over themselves trying to liquidate an inventory of tasty herb that's likely about to begin a price wise plummet, you need to be the man on the spot. Get in there asap. You dig friend up with a legal dispensary manager or assistant manager or janitor or whatever. Because in this case demand is going to way surpass the supply. And that spells fire sale if the current trend has any bearing at all. And that means with sound business negotiations, once you're trusted as an insider type, you'll be able to load up at 1800 bucks per pound on what used to cost 300 on the oz in places like Denver and Sacramento. And even after you bribe local law enforcement, which I highly recommend, your initial investment of say six grand is going to net you just over 12,600, $720. After which time you'll be set up to run it in from Cohila by the quarter pound again, just like the good old days. And maybe that's the silver lining in this fiasco. Because while it's nice to get high at your leisure without fear of repercussion, I found that the peace of mind that comes with marijuana that's immensely cheaper but kind of hard to get separates the dealers from the dopers quite nicely. So get out there and get started. And remember, the key word is negotiation. I'm Bob Floyd and that's this week's dope report. You keep token Bob Floyd, he is always gone.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, marijuana is turning into a business and Bob will be the one to tell you. Speaking of dealing. Colin, good morning, you're on the air.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning guys.

[John Clay Wolf]

What you got?

[Caller]

I got my baby. It's a 07 Force Cayman.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, how many miles? 88000 Turbo S base. What?

[Caller]

It's just an S 3.4.

[John Clay Wolf]

It isn't S. What color?

[Caller]

It yellows.

[John Clay Wolf]

That car. You could keep up a girlfriend. You could keep up a Hispanic 2028 year old girlfriend with two children, an apartment and a Cadillac keeper that cheaper than you can keep that thing maintained. Just FYI, how much is it eight grand?

[Caller]

Eight? Oh, man. I owe 134 on it.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah, just like the girl.

[John Clay Wolf]

What, did you have to lap some of your maintenance bills onto your note? That happens with the cars like this. Well, J.D. like. Like the transmission goes out. They can't afford to fix it. So he calls the bank, says, hey, I'm gonna let this thing go back because the tranny's out. They're like, well, no tranny like transgender. I mean, transmission. And. And they're like, well, what if we finance the transit mission job? Yeah, well, just put it on your note.

[Michael Turley]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And that's how a lot of that happens.

[Michael Turley]

Never heard of a bank doing that, Colin.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think it's a, you know, eight to $10,000 car. How much is it?

[Caller]

I mean, I see them on ebay in the 20s with the same around. I mean, same kind of mileage. I mean, I owe 134 on it. I mean, I at least got to get out of that.

[John Clay Wolf]

I can't help you. Thanks. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Frank, good morning. You're on the air. Good morning. Hey, where you calling from?

[Bobo]

Ennis?

[John Clay Wolf]

We played innocent football in 1980 and 8. And. And y' all were darker than we were.

[Caller]

Nothing much change, buddy.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean. And they whipped us.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

I just. You just wasn't expecting a. A heavy African American society in the middle of the. In the boondocks like that. And they were. I mean, that whole team was black.

[Michael Turley]

Not the Texas Motor Speedway hometown. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no, no. I mean, we were a bunch of crackers. Not all. Now Crowley's black. Where we were, that was Crowley back then. But anyway, yeah, y' all beat us pretty bad in Innocent Everman. That hurt both of those games. Okay, 12F250 with 102. Four wheel drive, leather roof nav Ford. Average. Rough or clean?

[Caller]

It's average. I mean, it's a truck, man. In Texas, you know, I ain't beat it up. Doesn't have any significant things or bins anywhere on it, but.

[John Clay Wolf]

What color is it? I'm sorry, what color is it?

[Caller]

It's black with tan leather.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a 12. 27,000, 28,000 right there.

[Bobo]

Okay.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[Caller]

That's close, man. I was really hoping to get 30.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was really hoping it didn't have a hundred on it. No, but I mean, the hundred thousand mile mark is just a mental mark for the next person that's gonna own it. It's got a hundred on it. Doesn't have. If it had 97 on it, it really It'd have a hundred on it, but it wouldn't have a hundred on it. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I'll give. Go to. Give me the. Give the. The website and it'll bid this thing automatically for you and everybody listening. Our. Our sister company. Give me the vin.vin.com. you can put in your license plate or your VIN number, build the car. It takes 45 seconds to do it online. And we'll email you an offer. We'll buy the car, we'll pick it up, and if we don't beat your CarMax offer for you and Ennis, you're not going to drive to CarMax because. Because it's not worth it. You know, we'll beat them. But everybody else remember this. If we don't beat your written CarMax offer, I'll either give you $100 or I'll kiss your ass. Now, that was a. That was a program we ran about a year ago.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

Well, why is that back?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I. I heard it. I heard it a couple times this week. People still bring it up, so. They enjoyed it.

[Michael Turley]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. So I think it's, you know, maybe we need to.

[Michael Turley]

Have you ever.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's kind of like the McRib. JD John's kissing people's asses again. It's back on.

[Michael Turley]

He comes back.

[John Clay Wolf]

So, Frank, if I don't beat your CarMax offer, I'll give you $100. I'll kiss your ass. But I think you'd rather have the hundred. But it's up to you. You're not going to get either one on a diesel truck because I beat those goofy bastards left and right. All right, 800, 800. Seven, two, three, four. 800, 800 radio. Good morning, Bubba.

[J.D. Ryan]

Coming back to wolf his time again.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's like the McRib it's back. I love it.

[J.D. Ryan]

I remember the summer of 2014 when I had my Jeep at Grand Cherokee.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

And you kissing my wife ass.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really? Well, that was because, I mean, I paid her 100 to do this.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh, she's still so happy.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was happy.

[Michael Turley]

Everybody was happy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is she here? I'll do. I'll pay her.

[J.D. Ryan]

You know, I still have the picture of you with your poker.

[John Clay Wolf]

No matter what the bid is with your old lady.

[J.D. Ryan]

I'll underpin it right on the ass. Was a nice time.

[John Clay Wolf]

Your poker, your poke. Pucker, Pucker, pucker. How is hockey? How are the stars?

[Michael Turley]

Doing very well.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Actually, what I was talking about is New Year's Eve and we'll get into this later. But in Dallas, it was so funny watching the Dallas because you had Dick Clark, which is. He's dead.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And Ryan Seacrest, which is his son from a affair, obviously.

[Bob Floyd]

Probably.

[John Clay Wolf]

And then you had Steve Harvey for the BET delivery of New Year's Eve. And then you had little.

[Michael Turley]

The two gay guys on cnn.

[Bobo]

Yes.

[Michael Turley]

Anderson and Dave and whoever the other guy was.

[John Clay Wolf]

I heard they got drunk.

[Aunt Fetterman]

No.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, they got drunk.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did they start kissing?

[Michael Turley]

And they didn't kiss, but boy, you could just.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, did you feel the love?

[Michael Turley]

Oh, dude. It was love seeing it the more. The more as the evening went on. First of all, they didn't need a stage because both of them could float. Oh, just openly gay.

[J.D. Ryan]

Boy.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

They also had a correspondent on a. On a pot party bus in Colorado.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

And she was high. I mean, she was.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is this true?

[Michael Turley]

True story.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Michael Turley]

I missed all. Dude, cnn.

[John Clay Wolf]

CNN was where the party was.

[Michael Turley]

Funny is just. Because if you want to watch it for a Saturday Night Live angle. Yes.

[Bobo]

Their wheels off.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobo]

They didn't have anything.

[Michael Turley]

No product sitting home going, I wish I was there. Because she used to, you know, be with Anderson Cooper.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh, dude.

[John Clay Wolf]

Went wheels off. And that was where the party was on New Year's Eve, of all places.

[J.D. Ryan]

I watched them all, man. Steve Harvey was really good.

[John Clay Wolf]

It was like a tranny bar in New Orleans.

[J.D. Ryan]

I was so proud of little Steve Harvey.

[Michael Turley]

He did a good job. But the Dallas TV station, Channel 5. Oh, my Lord, what a. What a mess.

[Bobo]

They had one.

[Michael Turley]

Yes. Hard to believe they tried.

[John Clay Wolf]

It was bad. I was looking at the. At the announcers and I thought of you. Why didn't they ask? That should be you.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, because it's their news anchors.

[John Clay Wolf]

They.

[Michael Turley]

The problem is they put news anchors who are used to reading teleprompters.

[John Clay Wolf]

People know who you are.

[Michael Turley]

Well, they know who their news anchor is.

[John Clay Wolf]

I didn't know who they were.

[Michael Turley]

Well, you don't because you don't watch local news. But I'm just.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who is Cowboy Bob on the left?

[Michael Turley]

I have no idea.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who was that band that they were so excited about?

[Michael Turley]

I've never heard of this group. Jack O Pierce.

[John Clay Wolf]

I used to pay him 300 bucks to play at the play. Heard of him back in 96. They.

[Michael Turley]

Is that the same guys? Oh, you have them, Michael?

[Bobo]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, it's his duo.

[Michael Turley]

It's his dad.

[John Clay Wolf]

We called them Jack O. Crap. That was their nickname.

[Michael Turley]

It's one of those bands that if a TV station, you'd use it as what we call bumpers. Like in or out of a commercial.

[John Clay Wolf]

Here's bumper music. Listen. Right, that's.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Or elevator.

[Michael Turley]

We'll be right back.

[J.D. Ryan]

Thank you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Can you start the whole thing over.

[Michael Turley]

And from downtown Dallas, we are live. It's going to be New Year's Eve. We're having a great time. We're freezing to death, but it's okay. Come on down. Cut away now. There's the four people outside. Hey, everybody, wave. We'll be right back. Here's Jacko Pierce taking us out. Jack O crap. Taking us out on Channel 5. Happy New Year.

[John Clay Wolf]

They'll be playing at Bob and Ernie's Bar and Grill on Greenville and lovers after in 20 minutes.

[Bobo]

They really had this band there?

[John Clay Wolf]

Seriously.

[Michael Turley]

It wasn't one of those little cutaway deals where they do like, here's a bumper. They went on for, I don't know, 20 minutes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dude, I couldn't sell them out.

[Michael Turley]

20 minutes.

[Bobo]

They couldn't get any cameras. Better local bank.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have you ever heard the term you couldn't get laid at a nickel?

[J.D. Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

At a whorehouse on nickel night. Is that right?

[Michael Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

With a pocket full of quarters.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. You get it. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Rush Limbaugh, are you coming? I can't talk to you right now, but will you take us out real quick? Hi, Rush. I know we're supposed to get to you.

[J.D. Ryan]

It's really good to see you, John. Stay tuned. We'll have more of the John Clay Will show coming up if we don't all get too high to do it.

[Announcer]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

Givemetheven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat Carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Gimmethevin.com they've completely changed the car business.

[J.D. Ryan]

Gimmethevin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Announcer]

Go ahead and crack that natty light. Right, because it's morning. That makes sense. The John Clay Wolf show presented by gimmethevent.com 800, 800 radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give me the vid.com it is morning. It's Saturday morning. It's the first Saturday morning of the new Year. Baby New Year, right?

[J.D. Ryan]

There you go. John, if you're going to play defensive tackle, you got to go back there and dial it up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dial it up.

[J.D. Ryan]

Coach Gruden's coming back, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's going to Vegas with the Raiders.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's his kind of deal.

[J.D. Ryan]

I love Gruden, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you drink a lot?

[Michael Turley]

I would imagine.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey. Hey. Did you notice the two new jerseys I've got for Christmas from the staff here? Yeah, they give me the vin. It's awesome.

[J.D. Ryan]

I was telling Turley we're going to have to move Cheech and Chong and Belushi.

[John Clay Wolf]

I know.

[J.D. Ryan]

And have two on each side of the T. No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, two exactly on each side. So I just saw those. No, there's two more on the ground.

[Michael Turley]

Oh.

[John Clay Wolf]

So we've got Hernandez. Uhhuh. Killer.

[J.D. Ryan]

Dead killer.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hernandez. Dead Killer. Is it Rice? Is that the other one, Ray?

[Bobo]

Russ. Yeah. Now, describe how this is put together, though. Seeing a theme here, because it's not just the jersey. It's framed.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, they're beautiful. They're jerseys. They're NFL jerseys that are framed in a shadow box, glass cover, like a museum and high end stuff. And they're put on the wall, like, perfectly spaced apart like a museum. And we have Johnny Manziel, O.J. what was his real name? Orange Julius.

[Michael Turley]

No, Orenthal.

[John Clay Wolf]

Orenthal James. James. James Simpson. Ray Rice and Aaron Hernandez in his Patriots jersey. And then we're gonna. I think. You know, my. My little one said when he saw that. Hang on. Turn this up. It's perfect. Have you seen Junior's grades? That's not what he said.

[J.D. Ryan]

Junior's grades.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's Junior. My junior said you're gonna need to get Zeke pretty quick here. He already got in trouble once.

[Michael Turley]

Your kid got.

[John Clay Wolf]

But it's the in. It's the wall of shame.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, I got it.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're creating a wall of shame here in the studio. Who else needs to be in the wall of shame?

[Bobo]

Well, we were going through this in the office the other day, actually. Well, if you want to go with murderers. Ray Carruth. Remember he had somebody kill his pregnant wife?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobo]

He's getting out soon, too, which is not very festive. Yeah, Dante stalwart Lawrence Phillips, who's dead. He hung himself, but he also killed somebody. Okay, those are probably the next two.

[John Clay Wolf]

I would go for.

[Bobo]

But if you want just shame, I mean, there's plenty of shame.

[John Clay Wolf]

Shame, not killers. I don't want a wall of murder. That's not. I mean, Johnny Manziel is on There. He's not a murderer. The only two murders in the Wall of Shame right now are O.J. simpson.

[Bobo]

No, he didn't.

[J.D. Ryan]

Not guilty.

[John Clay Wolf]

I watched a movie anyway. Yeah, there's some debate there.

[Michael Turley]

Very little.

[John Clay Wolf]

Barrett Robbins. I want him. And I don't know if his jersey's still available. I don't know.

[Bobo]

Number 50 for the Raiders.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was the bouncer at the Plaid Pig, which was our bar in college.

[Michael Turley]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. My partner, Carter, he played TCU football. Carter Coleman. And Barrett was his roommate. And I became good friends with Barrett, and we opened this bar. Barrett was the bouncer, and Barrett's the same guy who wound up, went on to be the starting center for the Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Good Lord. Oakland Raiders, right? And in good old JC Dub friend fashion, wouldn't happen to anybody else, right?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Nope.

[J.D. Ryan]

Nope.

[John Clay Wolf]

The night of the Super Bowl, Barrett jumps the Rio Grande and goes to get him a Mexican woman on the other side of the border. He never came back. He missed the Super Bowl. So we need a Barrett jersey up on the wall. If they're gonna bring Jack O Crap back on tv, we ought to bring Barrett back. I mean, it's about the same time frame.

[Michael Turley]

I've never even heard of Jacko Pierce.

[J.D. Ryan]

That's.

[Michael Turley]

I literally had to Google them. I'm like, why are these people on tv?

[John Clay Wolf]

For those of y' all just. We were laughing at the Dallas broadcast of New Year's Eve. How hokey it was. And how they brought this dead horse and set it up on stage and put pearls on its head. Seriously, it strapped a guitar to its ass.

[Michael Turley]

Of all the groups that have been through Dallas, how about, you know, Bowling for Soup? Anybody?

[John Clay Wolf]

How about Edie Burkel, New Bohemians? They had a hit. At least they had a hit.

[Michael Turley]

They were on the radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

They were on the radio.

[Michael Turley]

Man. That has to be somebody's friend who's a producer's buddy who was drunk one night and went, hey, would y' all like to be on TV New Year's Eve?

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, who's gonna open for Jack o' Pierce Soul Food Cafe? When you say, who's that? Exactly.

[Bobo]

You had the plaid pig. Yes, you had. They had to make their way through.

[John Clay Wolf]

To New Year's Eve.

[Bobo]

Oh, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

We had them a lot. So Jack O Crap was. They were a local act. That Brady. What's his name? Damn it. He owned trees, and he owned the green elephant. Brady Wood. He's from New Orleans. Brady Wood and Brady, and he was their manager. We all went to smu, and they were all so arrogant. They walked around like. Like, like the cheerleading squad who did?

[Michael Turley]

Jackal Pierce.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, yeah. And Brady. Yeah. Because they wanted to create this image that we're there. We made it. Like, if they went to the. If they went to the beer store to pick up a sixer, they'd take the tour bus and like, they walked around town with, like their lanyards on. Like, they said, backstage pass Jeopardy. I mean, it was this ridiculous hype thing. And in my. And. And they signed a deal with a. Who's A And M Records.

[Michael Turley]

Okay. I was gonna say, there's got to be a record label.

[John Clay Wolf]

There was a record label. And this is probably 95. I remember well, because they came back with bringing all the weather and we're all going to get rich and we're all going to get famous because we're all. If you're. If you're affiliated to Jack O. Crap.

[Michael Turley]

If you say it loud enough and long enough, people will start buying it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right. Well, my partner Carter, who I love, but we were. I was always the guy doing all the business, and he wanted to be more into the music and handle that. So I let him negotiate this Jack O. Pierce contract for a. For a concert at a 3,500 seat venue. We were promoting concerts back then, and they took him out so bad. Brady screwed him so bad. And when I. When he called me back and told me the terms, I was like, it's one of those deals when you love this guy and you're like, you don't want to keep stepping in front of him. My partner.

[Bob Floyd]

Right, right, right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I really wanted to go in and renegotiate that deal. I'm like, man, I hope he's right. I know we're gonna keep Screw. This is bad. They're not that good. They're not that good. This is oversold. It's over. We lost $28,000 on that concert. The night before the show, we called Ticketmaster and we, you know. Oh, I. All I had was hope. Pre sales were. Pre sales were so bad. And we printed all these tickets because we were like, man, they're going to come at the door. They're going to come the night of the show. And Ticketmaster's like, listen, dude, they're not going to come at the door.

[Michael Turley]

I love this term.

[John Clay Wolf]

This term.

[Michael Turley]

This is a walk up band, dude. This is a walk up band, which is.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, it's not. Ticketmaster was like, we do this a lot and we've got like data that shows if pre sales are X walk UPS are going to be y and you're printing off way too many tickets.

[Michael Turley]

You're giving them away.

[John Clay Wolf]

I just had hope. I mean, because it cost like 5 cents a ticket for Ticketmaster to print them, right? I may still have them somewhere. I'm talking about rolls and rolls and rolls.

[J.D. Ryan]

You want to bring them to Houston with us to do our party?

[Michael Turley]

So who showed up?

[John Clay Wolf]

If I'd have known Jack O crap was going to be on New year's Eve Channel 8, I would have taken those t, created him into confetti and threw him at the stage.

[Michael Turley]

And they kept panning the crowd and it was like, you know, 19 people at these little round tables. It was so bad.

[Bobo]

Their, their wives and family.

[John Clay Wolf]

There's nothing wrong with not making it. No, but being a jerk about it. And he was a jerk. Carrie Pierce was an absolute jerk. Jack was awesome. He's a cool guy. Brady was an absolute jerk. Arrogant pricks. Right here. Flat footed. Yes, I said it. That's fine. Anyway, but they're big time now, man. They're back. They're back. They're back.

[Michael Turley]

If ever there was a any question.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, they're so hokey. They should like be on the jukebox at Babe's chicken house at this point. All their best of nobody would play it a cracker barrel. Cracker barrel. They just signed a new contract with Cracker Barrel. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Remember, if you want to sell your car or trade it in or just get a price on it for a trading, go to give me the then.com John Clay Wolf. J.D. ryan, Michael Turley and Baba will be right back. Uno momento, por favor.

[Announcer]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemethevin.com.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

If you don't have your 17 digit VIN number, no sweat. They just updated their system. Enter your six digit license plate number at gimmetheven.com and their system will immediately quote your car with a cash [e-mail] sell them your car at gimmethevin.com if they don't beat CarMax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. GiveMeThe Vin.com They've completely changed the car.

[J.D. Ryan]

Business.Com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Announcer]

Give me the vin dot com.

[Caller]

You guys make me laugh every Saturday morning, man. It's awesome.

[John Clay Wolf]

Love listening to y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Announcer]

And now back to the John Clay Wolf show presented by givemethevin.com speaking of [e-mail] jobs.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you can't spell jobs, we can't hire you. If you are literate and you can spell [e-mail] we're hiring drivers. We're gonna hire buyers. We're gonna hire car lady like accounting clerks. We're gonna hire a lot of people in the next 90 days.

[Michael Turley]

When you say driver, do they need a commercial license of any kind?

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, just drivers. Just. Just people that. That have licenses and don't crash.

[J.D. Ryan]

Prior porn film experience is not a necessity.

[Michael Turley]

What happened?

[John Clay Wolf]

Is Tony. Is Tony going with. Is he going with Roy?

[Bobo]

I don't know.

[John Clay Wolf]

Porno Tony. We blew him out of the radio studio last Saturday.

[Michael Turley]

I wouldn't hear. Tell me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Can you tell me he's not a good fluffer. He's not. He does not prepare for his scenes.

[Michael Turley]

Didn't fluff.

[Bobo]

Well, much like a porn star, they really don't. They just walk in and go, yeah, I'm ready.

[John Clay Wolf]

He just kept on winging. Kept on winging it. Kept on wingin. After six weeks of winging it, like, you know what? We're going to wing it on out of here, buddy.

[Michael Turley]

Take it on the wing.

[John Clay Wolf]

A heard it from a friend who. 800-800-72348. 800 radio. This just out Jacko crap. Signed a contract with IHOP to reproduce and knock off the songs from Waffle House.

[J.D. Ryan]

Huh?

[Michael Turley]

Oh, God.

[John Clay Wolf]

Wow. Hey, RVs and motorcycles are [e-mail] as well. Big ones. $400,000 coach, $10,000 bumper pull RVs and Harley's motorcycles. Crotch rockets at GiveMeThe Vin.

[Michael Turley]

So there's a place to put that in the website?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just put it right in.

[J.D. Ryan]

They had that hit song like a couple years ago. What about Breakfast at Waffle House?

[John Clay Wolf]

Now that was deep blue something. Breakfast at Tiffany.

[J.D. Ryan]

No, I swear. Jack O. Pierce had a version of that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, they Breakfast. No. Was it Waffle House or ihop? Because have you ever been drunk? Have you ever listened to the Waffle House songs?

[J.D. Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think we should play some of those. Today's presentation. I mean, that's really. Everybody has a memory that goes along with the Waffle House jukebox.

[Michael Turley]

Isn't that truth?

[John Clay Wolf]

Most of it's from 11 to 6 in the morning.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800, 7 2, 3, 4.

[Michael Turley]

Well, if you're going to Waffle House at noon, you have a problem.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, man, I take my kids there on Sunday mornings. They love it. They love it.

[J.D. Ryan]

Did you see the video and they.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have these shirts, like, to keep the right. To keep the grease from popping. From popping on your arms.

[Michael Turley]

And to cover up the tattoos.

[John Clay Wolf]

And to cover up their tattoos and their sleeves. Like running shirts with sleeves that say Waffle House. And my daughter asked me if I would get her one of those for Christmas. And I didn't think about it until right now. Waffle House.

[Michael Turley]

That is so funny. Go during that. I've never been to a Waffle House with a sleeve.

[Bob Floyd]

Sun up.

[Michael Turley]

Ever.

[J.D. Ryan]

Have you seen the video of the guy that showed up at a Waffle house, like at 3 in the morning? And the cooks and everybody in there is fast asleep. So he makes himself a couple. Oh, really? Making an egg.

[Michael Turley]

And he starts cooking.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's awesome.

[Michael Turley]

That's greatness.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's real.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah. That's a true story. That's what we would do.

[J.D. Ryan]

That's what we would do.

[John Clay Wolf]

Absolutely. And not make too much noise because who would want to wake them up? When you have the chance to fly that airplane.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then we'll have to have the chance to run that griddle. The one off chance. I mean, it's like flying a 747 loaded with pastures. Here, just take. Jesus. Take the wheel and let it roll.

[J.D. Ryan]

It's easy to land. Taking off the hard part.

[Bobo]

Here's some jukebox favorites at the Waffle House.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now. Is this jacko pierce?

[J.D. Ryan]

I think it is.

[John Clay Wolf]

I like it that way.

[Michael Turley]

24 hours a day.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did the sales guys do a. Like a trade for this? Oh, here it is. Here's the chorus. Mark, you need to call Waffle House and get us some barter trade for this. I'll plug the hell out of him if I can have steak and eggs once a week.

[J.D. Ryan]

See, that's as good as anything Alabama did after, like 1994.

[Michael Turley]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know that. That's not that far off. DJ Pre K. Good morning. What's up, dog? What is up, dog? Not much. How are you?

[Bobo]

Oh, man, you know, I'm blessed as usual.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're gonna start running the video wall at the Dallas auto auction lane 11 for us.

[Bobo]

Yes, sir. I'm moving on up.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, going from party city to video board operator. He's replacing Porno Tony because DJ Pre K, even though he's a white black man.

[Michael Turley]

Yes, he is.

[John Clay Wolf]

He is dependable.

[J.D. Ryan]

Wait a minute. What about the. What about the Party City?

[John Clay Wolf]

Party City? Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

Who's gonna arrange the Pirates of the Caribbean hat?

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Michael Turley]

Who's gonna do the balloons?

[Bobo]

Oh, hey, I'll still be doing it. You Know y' all can come in to Party City, get your balloons. You know, we got 12 for 14. Holla at your boy.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800-Radio is the calling number. So tell me about white, black, Latino. You are about to witness the strength of street knowledge.

[Bobo]

Yeah, I got one for y' all today. I got this cat who went and stole a bike, but turns out the bike was already his. So he walked into this police station looking for a bike that had been taken in a previous exchange. And they said, well, we. We can't really say that it's yours right now, so you have to come back later. Well, he did come back later, but when it was closed and broke into the police station and got his bike back. But they found him later and said, you know, this bike looks familiar, so we gonna have to take you in. And charged him with burglary for breaking in, but not for theft, because the.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bike was DJ Prek, Whitey, Blackie, B. Rad, 8 mile. You are a wonderful man with your fingers is what she said, and a great producer, but the storytelling here is a little broken up. Can I redo that?

[Bobo]

Yeah, what you want to do, man?

[John Clay Wolf]

So Holmes got his bike stolen? Yes, sir. And he went to the cop station to tell him, and there it was, but they wouldn't give it back to him, so he left and he came back later and he stole his own bike from the cops? Yeah. And then they tracked him down and arrested him for stealing his own bike for breaking into a police station? Yes, sir. That's weird. So was that white, black? Is it a white man, an African American, a Mexican or other?

[Bobo]

Oh, I already know, I think.

[Michael Turley]

Do you.

[Bobo]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna go with Hispanic because. Have you seen some of these Hispanic bikes?

[J.D. Ryan]

No.

[Bobo]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Gold date, the lowrider.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Bobo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, my gut was telling me Hispanic, I think he was really.

[Bobo]

I mean, this bike's probably $1,000 bike for him.

[Michael Turley]

I'm just going white guy. It just sounds like a white guy thing to do. Break in to steal my own bike.

[Bobo]

When you can steal all this other stuff.

[John Clay Wolf]

Every time I hear one of these real crazy, huge sack ball stories, I think of Asians because they just. I've watched them do things that they don't care they do. Like. Like when they're at Vegas. Have you ever sat next to a Chinaman at a craps table? I mean, who made them so rich? They're not. They just hate her. He's a Texan. He's the accidental racist. They just roll huge and they don't care. Timmy, too, down in Houston, Texas. Biggest highline dealer that. That they saw in the late 90s. And the guy went to jail three times because he did crazy stuff. He just didn't care. So I'm gonna go Asian. I'm gonna go other.

[Bobo]

Hmm.

[J.D. Ryan]

That fellow, okay, had his bike taken. We don't know the exact circumstances of it, but he's standing on principle. He goes to the police before there's even a report about the bike and says, hey, that's my bike. May I have it back? And they said no. So he's obviously either straight enough to go in there or he's really standing on principle. This is a faithful, earnest man.

[Michael Turley]

Okay? Okay.

[J.D. Ryan]

When they won't give it back, still on principle, he goes in and he stands, steals it from them. Because that's the right thing to do. This man is Hispanic, okay? Absolutely. He's got a certain pride in himself and his bike.

[John Clay Wolf]

If it is a white man, he is in. He was full of meth. Amphetamine.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go with that. White and meth.

[John Clay Wolf]

White and meth. I'm Asian. Turley's Hispanic. Babo's Hispanic. Babo's not just a. Babo's not Hispanic. Low rider. Bobbo is stand up Hispanic. Machismo is what made him do it.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah. The right thing has a Republican taking.

[John Clay Wolf]

Care of his family. It might have been on his kid's bike. Let's go. DJ, what you got?

[Bobo]

Well, we got 37 year old David Snow of Provo, Utah, who is white as snow.

[J.D. Ryan]

You say Utah, That's a Mormon crime.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's odd.

[Bobo]

Oh, that is a Mormon cross crime. Think about it.

[John Clay Wolf]

How do they get around?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, the bikes.

[Bobo]

They gotta have that.

[J.D. Ryan]

They'll never catch me in my magic underwear. Captain Mormon away.

[John Clay Wolf]

Here we go. Rush Limbaugh, good morning. How are you? What are you doing? Tell me about it. Catch me up.

[J.D. Ryan]

I'll tell you, John, I've been smoking a little herb out here in Massachusetts while I can.

[Michael Turley]

You are.

[J.D. Ryan]

This Jeff Sessions is a loon.

[Michael Turley]

Don't you think?

[J.D. Ryan]

It's like. What do they call those guys in the Tolkien. The Hobbit. It's like an elf got together with a possum and this is their offspring.

[Michael Turley]

What? You can't.

[J.D. Ryan]

The horse is out of the barn.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[J.D. Ryan]

You can't criminalize pot now.

[Michael Turley]

No.

[J.D. Ryan]

It just got really fun for us white people. And that's what I've been doing. And actually, I've been to every fast food burger joe that's open here on the east coast thus far this morning. Have you read the new book about our esteemed fearless leader, Donald J. Trump? He likes fast food because he's afraid to be poisoned. And I am too. So I've been to Wendy's and whataburger and in n Out and McDonald's and Burger King twice.

[Michael Turley]

You're gonna put all your weight in there.

[J.D. Ryan]

This is my answer for the new millennium. Stick with el rushbo. We'll get you there. Power on loan from God. And don't go away. There's more of the junk Clay Wolf show coming up. Sponsored by GiveMeThe Vin.com.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

Give me the vin.

[Announcer]

Givemethevin.com and now, senor juan clay wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dallas morning. What you got?

[Caller]

Are you talking to me?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, I'm talking to you. Yes.

[Caller]

Okay. Thank you for talking. I want to know why you give the Jacko Pierce boys so many problems. They are good men. If they are guilty of anything, they are trying to make it again. And you are talking badly about them. I went to school with them in 91 just for the one semester.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did y' all do a computer programming class together?

[Caller]

Excuse me?

[John Clay Wolf]

Did y' all do a computer programming class together or a call center management class?

[Caller]

Oh, so this is a joke. You're a funny man.

[John Clay Wolf]

800. 800 7234. This is a joke. You're a funny, funny, funny.

[J.D. Ryan]

This Jacko Pierce. I tell you right now, you stop talking about them or I'll curse you.

[Bobo]

Be a weird dynamic to have them as a fan.

[John Clay Wolf]

It was colder than hell this week.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh, my.

[John Clay Wolf]

All over the listening area. Even down on the coast. You were in P aransas last week?

[Michael Turley]

Saturday I was in Port Aransas. We left, it was 62 degree. We got here, it was 27.

[John Clay Wolf]

Awful water froze in the well house this. I knew it was going to happen. I knew it was going to happen. Country problems, that pressure pump locked up, you know country problems are real, man. The cows getting out in the street, you got to keep that gate shut. You can't be tying it with some half ass lead rope. You got to get that gate shut, right? And if you let those cows out, they follow each other. And they'll spend two hours putting them all back in the pen. Ain't worth a damn. And the horses, they'll get lifted.

[Michael Turley]

Lifted?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. I mean, country people problems getting the truck stuck when you're out feeding chickens.

[J.D. Ryan]

Laid frozen eggs, took mama Three hours to thaw them out so we have breakfast.

[Michael Turley]

I don't think that's accurate.

[J.D. Ryan]

11 o' clock in the morning. Daddy was pissed off. Son of a bitches.

[John Clay Wolf]

Cold's hard. Cold can be hard. Gotta go break the ice on the tanks. Have you ever done that, J.D.

[Michael Turley]

Absolutely.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. You have to feed the cattle. Sure, sure.

[Michael Turley]

I, I did know where when my ex wife's grandmother had a farm. We had to do that, I swear. I know, I know. I'd be the last guy you'd think would do that, but I've done that.

[John Clay Wolf]

I enjoy it. It is fun. If you're dressed properly and you only have to do it once and you get to go home and be normal.

[J.D. Ryan]

And act like you did something, it's work. It's a twice a day deal when you're out there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Absolutely.

[Bobo]

Our technical guy down at Westwood One and what is his name? Tone or no, I know, doesn't matter, Andrew. Anyway, he had said that, you know, they got a bunch of snow and he wanted to send some snow to you, John, to trade in a car. Which then spurred onto a different subject because Bobbo, you said something about what you do when it's cold outside or you've done before.

[J.D. Ryan]

That's not what I do. But I knew a guy, this is years ago and he, no, he came back from San Antonio with a whole eight ball.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, before we get into all this, let me put a quick plug out. If you want to sell us your car on the air right now, I'll bid it at 800-800-RADIO. That's 800-800-7234. Or just put it into givemethevinvi.com and we have like the McRib sandwich. We've brought back the promotion. I love this. If I don't beat your Carmax offer, you have the option. I'll either give you 100 bucks or I'll kiss your ass. Go ahead, Bob.

[J.D. Ryan]

The wolf kiss is back. No, no, but this guy came home from San Antonio like in the middle of winter with a whole eight ball.

[Bob Floyd]

Okay.

[J.D. Ryan]

And his best.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've never done coke and mild.

[J.D. Ryan]

His best friend.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't understand.

[J.D. Ryan]

And his old lady.

[Michael Turley]

Don't do it.

[J.D. Ryan]

And a couple of old gals like, like five of them sat up in his apartment with everything froze in the world outside and just played. Played Farkle and Yahtzee and Scrabble for a day and a half until it was all gone. And they, they ate Papa John's delivery, of course. And you Know, the guy could make tea. So it's not like they're going to starve in there, right? And they talked about it for years. I was like, where was I? Why didn't you call me?

[John Clay Wolf]

Sounds expensive.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yes, it does.

[Michael Turley]

It's already going somewhere.

[J.D. Ryan]

No, no. You know, typical bobbo store, when somebody says, let me send you some snow.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, that's where we going for?

[J.D. Ryan]

That's just how my demented mind works.

[John Clay Wolf]

Babo stories are like oil field roads.

[Michael Turley]

How's that work?

[John Clay Wolf]

They start, they look good and wide, and you want to go down them. And you go through these trees and it gets pretty. And you go by the lake. And then you get way down into the lease. And then you hit a dead end.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah. And then you realize you shouldn't have brought your wife because she bitches at you.

[John Clay Wolf]

What? And your beer's Warm.

[J.D. Ryan]

Warm beer.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. Paul. A 2010 Platinum with 130 Ford truck. Oh, God. Here's the problem. This is gonna spur a bunch of high mileage calls. Whatever we bid. Yeah, then we get a 10 of them. I mean, like, 130 will be the lowest miles we'll hear about for the rest of the day. Paul, did you say it had 13,000 miles on it? No.

[Michael Turley]

No.

[Caller]

Okay, 131.

[John Clay Wolf]

131 four wheel drive, leather roof. Nav. A 10 platinum with 131 leather roof. Now I know it's worth 12,000. I bought one on Tuesday.

[Caller]

No, not gonna dab. Won't buy it.

[John Clay Wolf]

What buys it.

[Caller]

More along lines of 13. About 13 and a half. 13 5.

[John Clay Wolf]

So if. So if I give 13 5, I own it.

[Caller]

You own it. You can give me 135 if it's.

[John Clay Wolf]

If it's a straight rig. Actually, since I'm overpaying, would you mind bringing it to me?

[Michael Turley]

That's fair.

[J.D. Ryan]

That's fair.

[Caller]

I'm here local.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, you bring it to me. I'll write you check. Do you have a title?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

No problems. No windshield. Doesn't need tires. Didn't have check engine light didn't have. ABS light motors. Not knocky knock, knock. Everything's straight.

[Caller]

Everything's straight. On it.

[John Clay Wolf]

If it's straight. Real rigged. No problems. Absolutely. I'll write you check for 13 5. I'm gonna put you on hold, get you with a. Give me the VIN buyer. Actually, right now, just go to givemetheven.com and load it into the website. Givemetheven.com and write in info. John bought it for me. 13 5. I'm bringing it to to you today to get a check.

[J.D. Ryan]

Pay that man his money.

[Caller]

Good.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you. Will you be that? Is that the first sell that of the morning. Let's go. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[Michael Turley]

All right. Tonight's the night. The big Powerball. You ever play the lottery, John? Anybody in here play the lottery at all?

[Bobo]

Yeah, when it's real big. Probably do tonight.

[Michael Turley]

So 4 million. You wouldn't even care. Somebody hand you a check for 4 million, you go, I'm not even worth my trip to the bank. Tonight's the big night. Now, last night, the mega million something we had one winner In Florida won 450. A million dollars.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ouch.

[Bob Floyd]

That's a lot.

[Michael Turley]

Tonight the powerball jackpot is 507. So if you by chance won both, you would have won over a billion dollars with a b. So tonight's $570 million, which means you only go home with a measly $280,000 million dollars. $280 million. Anyway, financial advisors, by the way, say the very best thing you can do, Stay anonymous. Don't tell your friends. Don't buy a round of drinks.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why even do it? Why even have it if you can't have fun with it?

[Michael Turley]

No, you're having fun with it, but.

[John Clay Wolf]

You can't tell your friends.

[Michael Turley]

Listen, I had a friend.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a lonely, lonely deal being a rich man.

[Michael Turley]

No, no, trust me, he was not lonely. I got a friend that won 28 million in the Texas lottery. Everybody you've ever met is going to come after you. You for money you've owed them for the time you push them for, their mother. Their mother sick, their kids dying. He.

[Aunt Fetterman]

He had it.

[Bob Floyd]

What?

[Bobo]

How are you going to explain that you won? You know, all of a sudden I'm driving. Driving a Ferrari, you know, I'm buying drinks for.

[Michael Turley]

Stay low. You stay low and then you leave town. Dude, I can have all the fun in the world in Cabo, where no, nobody knows who I am.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, you're saying take it. Take it to a different country. Yes.

[Michael Turley]

Get out of town. Otherwise you're going to be hit by everybody you've ever known. And every. And people are going to hit you with every. Ask Mark Cuban. I asked him one time, I said, how do you keep people from coming up to you and pitching ideas? He goes, I have someone.

[John Clay Wolf]

He lets them have. Have a whiff of his breath.

[Michael Turley]

No, no, no, no. He has somebody that. He goes, oh, you need to talk to Martha, and she'll take care of it. Anyway, you do what you want to do. Would you. What would you do if you wanted all that money?

[John Clay Wolf]

I would give it to the orphanages. I would buy myself a jet airplane. Okay. And then. And I reserve enough money to. To operate it for a while, and then I'd give the rest of it to the orphanage.

[Michael Turley]

No, you wouldn't. You keep doing this.

[John Clay Wolf]

This. Sure. Of course. It's fun. It's all about fun. We're here for fun. Hey, Mo in Houston. Let's have some fun. What do you got?

[Caller]

Hey, man, I've got a 2014 Lexus GS F Sport.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a real f sport or a look alike?

[Caller]

Nah, it's a real.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Because there's a badge, you know, there's a package that's just like fake boobs versus naturals. So this is a real one. Okay. Got it. Got it. Okay, awesome. So we got a 14F sport with 50 on it. You drove the piss out of it, but we'll still buy it. Can I say that?

[Michael Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. It's close. Sorry. Apologize. Earmuffs for the kids. Leather, Rift nav. What color is it?

[Caller]

Silver with a red interior.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Red. Sporty. Are you straight?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. I'm just checking. Gay guys. Cars are nicer and cleaner, and I pay more for them. I pay more for a gay man's car than a straight man's car. So when you thought you were gonna trick me there. Yeah. You thought I was heading down the wrong path. 23 grand.

[Caller]

All right, cool. Appreciate it.

[John Clay Wolf]

So what's that mean? All right, cool.

[Caller]

That means I'll chew it over and I'll think about it and then I'll get back to you on your website.

[John Clay Wolf]

And what's the name of the website? Explain it to all the users.

[Caller]

Give me the win dot com.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give me the win.

[Michael Turley]

Dot com.

[J.D. Ryan]

He's going to a Cleveland Brown site.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Did they have the parade?

[Bobo]

I think it's today.

[Michael Turley]

Parade.

[John Clay Wolf]

0 and 16. Parade of an absolute lost season. The radio, personally named Rover, is leading it. He's the Howard Stern of Cleveland.

[Michael Turley]

Cleveland.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he's. He's pretty funny guy, but. Yeah, he's having a parade for the winless season. Winless season. When's the last time that happened in the NFL?

[Michael Turley]

Ever?

[J.D. Ryan]

That's happened. It's been a long time.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, that's.

[Bobo]

Yeah, the Detroit Lions did it in 2008. And then there was a couple other Times nearly happened last year.

[J.D. Ryan]

They were a 1 in 15.

[John Clay Wolf]

Were they really here? Yeah, really. They've been working. They've been building up to this.

[J.D. Ryan]

That's bad.

[Michael Turley]

In Cleveland, how would you keep any kind of, I don't know, camaraderie team? How would you do that in the locker room that, like, I know.

[Bobo]

Money motivates.

[Michael Turley]

She's just showing up for just walking it.

[Bobo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

So Monday. I didn't realize this Monday. Is this Monday the College Football Playoff?

[Bobo]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

The championship, like two weeks out.

[Bobo]

No, no, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so where's that?

[Bobo]

It's in Atlanta. Atlanta. Yeah, that's right. Yep. Monday at 7:30 or 7:00 our time.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, that's perfect.

[Bobo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I am. I'm gonna. I'm probably not gonna drink any beer until then.

[Bobo]

Wait till then.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, because that's gonna be a good one.

[Bobo]

Bama's favored by four.

[John Clay Wolf]

That was a great game, that.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh, it wasn't the Georgia OU game. That's the best football game I've seen all year long.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, and just like in typical Oklahoma angry bastard, weirdo fashion. And I. I'm sorry, Oklahoma. I know that. That we have fans up there and I love some of y', all too. Keyword some. But. But I mean, you know all these idiots on Facebook screaming, fire Stoops. Fire Stoops.

[J.D. Ryan]

But Stoops, after that game.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no. His brother.

[Bobo]

Oh, Mike Stoops. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, like, hang on, homes. Didn't you just make it to the largest party in the world and you're in Oklahoma. You should be lucky that you were even, like, even had an opportunity to try it.

[Michael Turley]

You can afford.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you realize you're in Oklahoma? You're there. You're at the big show. Not the biggest. Not the biggest, but the big show. And you want to fire everybody that got us here because we lost and quadruple over time in a half a second. God, my Lord Almighty.

[Bobo]

Their defense has been bad all season long.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, they were so bad. They were so bad. That's why they got blown out by Georgia.

[Bobo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who beat Alabama? Didn't Georgia beat Alabama? Auburn beat all that. Auburn got blown the hell out by ufc. Ucf. Is that right?

[Bobo]

Yeah. I mean, it wasn't blowing the hell out. It was a hell of a game, though. They lost by 10 points.

[John Clay Wolf]

It was a blowout compared to, like, UCF's, like a who? UCF, like Jack O'.

[Michael Turley]

Crown.

[John Clay Wolf]

I know they're good now, but they're still a no name. Mean, they're a name. They're like Boise State.

[Bobo]

Well, hey, they've claimed that they've won the national championship. Do you know that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobo]

I mean, they've got a banner they're putting up because they're undefeated.

[Michael Turley]

It's just like George Bush.

[John Clay Wolf]

They should have a Florida vs. OU exhibition game because two idiotic states, they're gonna that are gonna fight each other. You know, I'm just jacking with you guys. I'm making a. Who the hell you think you're a Texas prick? You just like everybody I thought was a Texas. I hate Texas. That's why you have to. You know, I'm just playing. I am playing. But I'm serious about the fact that you need to appreciate. You need to write your coaches thank you mail. Yeah. Not hate on them. They got you there. You almost went. You almost went and you have gone a lot. Many, many, many, many, many times. OU has won a lot of football games. I love. I'm a closet fan of OU football. I can't believe it. On radio. Hang on. Somebody. Somebody washed that off.

[J.D. Ryan]

Get a rope.

[John Clay Wolf]

We got to go to a break. Somebody got some disinfectant. I gotta straighten that out. But I am a closet fan. OU football. We'll be right back.

[Announcer]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with. And John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to gimmetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to gimmethevin.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. Give me the VIN.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[J.D. Ryan]

Give me the VIN.com. so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give me the VIN.

[Announcer]

Givemethevin.com and now, Senor Juan Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

That train cocaine. Casey Jones, you better watch your speed. Good morning, everyone. J.D. bob. I don't know where Bob went. He's out. Saturday morning cartoons. We've got plenty lined up. I'm not out. We've had a good time so far. We had Bob, Floyd. We've had Rush, black, white, Latino or other. And the culprit was indeed a Latino. After much debate.

[Bobo]

Oh, Russia's got more to talk about.

[John Clay Wolf]

Russia always has more talk. Anything that has to do with Bombo. He's got more to talk about.

[J.D. Ryan]

That may be your pepper.

[Bobo]

Bailey.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, oh, oh. 08 M3 with 93,000 miles. Basma.

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where are you calling from?

[Aunt Fetterman]

I'm calling from Houston.

[John Clay Wolf]

How do I pronounce your name properly?

[Caller]

It's close enough.

[John Clay Wolf]

Kosolo.

[Aunt Fetterman]

No, I said you're close enough.

[Michael Turley]

Close enough.

[John Clay Wolf]

It reads like Rock the Casper on the Clash albums. Just put a B instead of a C. Huh? Oh, wait. BMW M3 is a two door, four door. It's a two door convertible or coupe. Cool. Anything wrong with it?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Sorry?

[John Clay Wolf]

Is there anything wrong with it?

[Aunt Fetterman]

No, nothing's wrong with it. Never been in an accident, nothing wrong with it. Just put brand new tires on it. Paid like over a thousand dollars just on the tires itself.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. What color?

[Aunt Fetterman]

It's a dark gray.

[John Clay Wolf]

So it's clean. No, check engine lights. Do I have to spend any money on it because it's got 90,000 miles.

[Aunt Fetterman]

I did regular oil changes on it. No checking into lights are on it or anything like that.

[John Clay Wolf]

11 year old BMW with almost a hundred thousand miles on it?

[Caller]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you want to sell it?

[Aunt Fetterman]

I do.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a title to it?

[Caller]

I would.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a title to it?

[Aunt Fetterman]

No, I don't have the title.

[Caller]

It's finance.

[John Clay Wolf]

How much you owe on it?

[Aunt Fetterman]

I owe at least 10,000 on it.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's fine. You still have equity made. If I buy it from you now, what are you going to drive? Like if. If the gimme the VIN people show up at your house on Monday to pick it up, what are you gonna drive?

[Aunt Fetterman]

I have a motorcycle at the moment, so I'm not too worried about it. But my next vehicle, I want to get an sti, so.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, those hot rods, those are cool. The Subarus. All right, well if I give you a check for 13.5, does that work? 13, 5. Oh, I don't know. What do you know?

[Caller]

How about 15?

[John Clay Wolf]

If I give you a check for 15 grand, do I own it?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

What if about 14?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Why not 15?

[John Clay Wolf]

I just think we're really close. I think it's not white, it's not red, it's gray. Did you buy it new?

[Aunt Fetterman]

No, I bought it used.

[John Clay Wolf]

How many miles were it when you bought it?

[Aunt Fetterman]

84000 I want to say.

[J.D. Ryan]

Why?

[Michael Turley]

Does that make a difference?

[John Clay Wolf]

That's fine. Let's just buy it. Let's just do it. Hell with it. She's women's cars. Nice sounding women's cars. And gay men's cars are typically Nicer. They just are. I mean, have you ever been in my car?

[Michael Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, my God.

[Michael Turley]

I know.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, it's ridiculous. Somebody should just shoot me and throw me out of it on the side of the road.

[Michael Turley]

Looks like it rolled over.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, I've just got dip spit. I mean, it's just ridiculous. So bass. But yeah. I'll buy your car. Fifteen grand. Sold. Hang on. Turley has to make it official.

[Bobo]

Well, no, I just wanted to make sure. She's probably about five foot two, I bet you, right? Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mike likes those. The. The gals with funky names and that are a little bit smaller in the frame and short, you know, he's the best man. Okay, okay. Here's the truth. Will give 15 grand, but Turley needs a pair of your shoes. What the hell is that? A deal. Fifteen grand and a pair of high heels. All right, Turley, you've been wanting some shoes. You got them from. He said he really wanted shoes off of a hot girl with the drives like a hot rod car that's under five' four.

[Bobo]

His profiling, that's all.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bassman, do you weigh less than 1,050?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Yes, I do.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. See, Turley, she fits the profile. You're good.

[Michael Turley]

We're good.

[John Clay Wolf]

Done deal. Screw it all. We're done. We're good. We'll pay you Monday. Go to givemethevin.com and load it up.

[J.D. Ryan]

She's spinning as we speak.

[John Clay Wolf]

800. 800. 72348. 800 radio. Justin. A quarter million mile 07 bourbon's got to be worth $2,000. Are you there? Yeah. 07 with 222,000 miles, two wheel drive in leather. Is it average, rough or clean?

[Caller]

It's clean.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Does two grand buy it?

[Caller]

Ah, no. Two grand is where it's sitting in my driveway.

[John Clay Wolf]

What? What buys it? Not what you're asking. Hell with asking. We're talking real money. We're shooting live bullets. What does it take to buy it? I ain't spending much time.

[Caller]

I've got offer. I've got offers on the table for six right now.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, You're a freaking fool for not selling it. And you're a goddamn liar. Hey, hold on now. Did you have to dump it? Did you have to dump it?

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did you dump that? Oh, my God. He's a liar.

[Bobo]

Yes. There you go.

[Michael Turley]

And a fool and a fool for not selling it for that price.

[John Clay Wolf]

He doesn't have offers for $6,000 on a.07 Bourbon with 222,000 miles unless he's financing it to his maid or his yard man. That doesn't count.

[J.D. Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

That does not. That is not ACV, baby. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4.

[Michael Turley]

I think it's cool to Michael. Michael's picking up on your. Maybe it's his own. The ability to listen to somebody and tell how tall they are and how much they weigh and what kind of car they.

[J.D. Ryan]

No, no, it's you.

[Michael Turley]

It's you.

[J.D. Ryan]

Being gone last week was because we've been weird ever since last week I asked Charlie, I said, so how's Christmas? You know, like you do. You just ask your buddy. He goes, well, I didn't get any shoes.

[Michael Turley]

I'm like, well, what?

[Aunt Fetterman]

You know what?

[John Clay Wolf]

In our number four last week, which some of the bigger, larger cities do not have our number four, I had a lot of feedback on our multi when we had all of our characters come in and get on there at the same time.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh, that was so strange.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think we should do that later. Cluck Norris was on who all. Who all came and discussed.

[J.D. Ryan]

I don't even remember a lot of them.

[John Clay Wolf]

There was a lot of our people. A lot of our wolf packers talk.

[J.D. Ryan]

To each other funny all week long.

[John Clay Wolf]

RVs and motorcycles, we do buy [e-mail] we're hiring drivers. We're hiring buyers in Fort Worth, Texas. If you can't work in Fort Worth, Texas, not Dallas, but Fort Worth need not apply. The sign says long haired freaky freaky. People cannot drive to Fort Worth, Texas.

[Michael Turley]

Need not apply and drivers do not.

[John Clay Wolf]

Need to see jobs at for [e-mail] [e-mail] I've had four people write a moment ago to the contact us at give me the vin. How do I contact you? So this is a test of the emergency broadcast. No, I can't say that. Of the give me the VIN system. If you can't follow a direction, then it's going to be hard. The first direction is email [e-mail] if you go to my personal email, you go to my Facebook page, you go into Then you're telling me you don't give a damn about what I'm saying. You don't listen. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. His name's J.D. ryan, Bobo and Turley. We'll be back.

[Announcer]

Give me the vin.com presents the John Clay Wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read their reviews online. They've made it better. License plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat CarMax's offer, they owe you a hundred bucks. Give me the vin.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah. We're back.

[Announcer]

Back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call in 800.

[John Clay Wolf]

800 radio love listening to Y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Announcer]

Presented by givemetheven.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is a new year. Summer.

[Michael Turley]

It is, man. Charlie Robins saw him do this live.

[John Clay Wolf]

With Billy Bob's at the Waffle House.

[Michael Turley]

Cigarette hanging out of his mouth the whole time. These are classics.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's going to Camino Espinosa to get him a divorce and then he's gonna go see his girlfriend that loves the horse. Remember the donkey show?

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's New Year's Day here on the border. Happy New Year's, everyone.

[Michael Turley]

2018 for those of you that don't have the flu. By the way, is there any rule about people working up here that have the flu by chance? Is there any, like, you know, maybe.

[John Clay Wolf]

Everyone in the office, home. Why were you up here?

[Michael Turley]

I was doing a video. We're putting together a video to promote the fact that you're killing it at the. At the auction.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, well, no, we're doing a video.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, we're doing a video to go.

[John Clay Wolf]

On the front of the website so the customers can see the process.

[Michael Turley]

The process, the whole thing. So I'm working on the video and I come in here. Excuse me. And everybody's sick. I don't mean a little sick. I don't think maybe might have the flu. I mean documented. The doctor said you have the flu and they're up here working.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why are they doing that?

[Michael Turley]

I. Because I don't have a clue.

[John Clay Wolf]

Scared of what?

[Michael Turley]

Scared of you. You fire them.

[J.D. Ryan]

They're doing that because it's not a broken arm.

[John Clay Wolf]

J.D.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh, it's the flu.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Stay home.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

They're not.

[J.D. Ryan]

They're not manufacturing.

[John Clay Wolf]

What did you say? Typhoid Mary?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, Typhoid Mary up here. One of the buyer, one of the guys over there is like, I'm dying.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's like sweet leaf.

[Michael Turley]

So I got clowns to the left. I mean, jokers to the right, stuck in the middle. Right. As I walked through the buyer's office. Now I got it.

[John Clay Wolf]

I saw you with a mask.

[Michael Turley]

I have a Yeah, I went and bought one of those masks.

[J.D. Ryan]

Did you really?

[Michael Turley]

Yes, that you can get them at cvs. I'm walking around the office with surgical masks and a can of Lysol with.

[Bobo]

Me everywhere I go because of crazy Typhoon Mary.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, Typhoon.

[Michael Turley]

That's Typhoid Mary.

[John Clay Wolf]

Typhoid Mary. Does she sit on your right or your left?

[Michael Turley]

Sits on my left and then the. The other girl sits on my right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Typhoid Mary.

[Michael Turley]

I'm just sitting there trying to get some work done.

[John Clay Wolf]

Are you sick now?

[Michael Turley]

I've got the crud. I don't have the flu, otherwise I wouldn't be here.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is it dripping? If it's dripping, you go to doctor. He'll give you a shot for that.

[Michael Turley]

I don't have that.

[J.D. Ryan]

It's nothing a little bit of whiskey wouldn't fix.

[Michael Turley]

I just got the cough and the cold now.

[Bobo]

Well, and then we're about to have it here in the studio, too, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

Typhoid Mary came in here. She was gonna go get our. I asked. I asked someone to run across the deal and get our breakfast burritos. And if they would, someone from the buyer's room. I bought an extra one for whoever wanted to go get them. And Typhoid Mary showed up to get him, walks in. How you doing?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, I'll take you. I'll go get your breakfast.

[John Clay Wolf]

What are you doing?

[Michael Turley]

Get out of here.

[J.D. Ryan]

Seriously, if you're.

[Aunt Fetterman]

If you're.

[John Clay Wolf]

Turley called it too, before, when we're like, I wonder who's going to come over to pick us up on this offer of going to get the food for a free burrito. And Turley said, typhoid Mary will be the one that shows up to do it. And sure damn enough. And she starts coughing. I'm like, well, you can't go get a breakfast.

[Michael Turley]

I'll get you breakfast.

[John Clay Wolf]

She sounds like my Aunt Fetterman.

[Michael Turley]

You want some onions on that?

[John Clay Wolf]

I have this. Aunt Fetterman. Aunt Fettermane. Her name's Fetterman. Anyway, hang on real quick. We'll get to that in a second. Doug in Lake Charles in 01 Four Wheel Drive?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

With a diesel and leather?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does it have 56,000 actual miles or is it rolled over? Did you bust them back or is it a real 56,000 mile truck?

[Caller]

56. I bought it from a guy up north that his dad used it to move a camper. You know, their fifth wheel camper.

[John Clay Wolf]

How much rust is on it?

[Caller]

None. Dude, this thing's nine and a half out of one to ten.

[John Clay Wolf]

How long have you owned it?

[Caller]

Probably about two months.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Does 15 grand buy it?

[Caller]

You're right around what I gave for it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, what. You sound like a traveling man. Do you want to drive it up here to us To. Well, I mean, I can pick it up in Lake Charles. There's no problem. And Matt, layoff. It's. I'm talking to this guy. Fifteen.

[Caller]

Super clean. Super clean.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's it take?

[Caller]

Four wheel drive. It's.

[John Clay Wolf]

Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug. You had me at 56,000 miles in. Super clean and no rust. We're good. I want to buy your truck. Don't quit selling, okay? Just start listening. I'll give 15,000. You gave 15,000. You got time. And what does it take to buy it? What. What do you need to. What can you sell to me for? And everybody's cool.

[Caller]

I'm letting you. You're.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're the man.

[Caller]

You're the man. So I'm letting you do the deal. You know what I'm saying?

[John Clay Wolf]

I. I'm going to give you $16,500. I own your truck.

[Caller]

Hey, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll load the van and. And you can get back with me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay? Let's go. I mean, it's just. Just tell them that. Say you talk to me on the air and we'll. When. When do you want to do the. When you want to get paid?

[Caller]

I'll tell you what. Give me till Monday or Tuesday of this coming week to load the van, and then we'll see what we can do.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang, hang, hang, hang, hang. Listen, that is the flakiest non committal comment I've ever heard. I mean, that's like the. The. That's like the strip dancers telling you that they're gonna meet you in the back parking lot after the strip club closes, right? You know, and you're sitting back there with J.D. like, where are they? Where are they? I thought they were coming.

[Caller]

You're killing me, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

How much is the damn truck, Doug?

[Caller]

I'm good. I'm gonna load the van and I'm gonna get back with you.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna put you on hold. Hang on. I'm gonna hold and have somebody do it. Yeah, hang on. Somebody grab Doug on line three. Let's. Let's wrap him up. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio.

[Michael Turley]

I'm gonna get back with you, dad Carter.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I mean, I'll never forget that night when we were like 19 years old, sitting in the back of the strip club.

[Bob Floyd]

Waiting on him.

[John Clay Wolf]

Waiting on him, waiting on him.

[J.D. Ryan]

Waiting.

[Michael Turley]

Fall for that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh God.

[Michael Turley]

Back by the dumpster about 2:30.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll be lucky we didn't get killed.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, A rolled rolled.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now I sound like my dad. 2012 lariat with 200 on it. Leather roof Nav David in Oklahoma. Good morning Boomer. Sooner. Sorry about the big loss, but it was the best damn game of the season. Yeah, Are you there? Super Dave 2012. Lay it with 200,000 miles worth 15, 16 grand. All right. I can't hear you. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[Michael Turley]

So Aunt Fetterman, Aunt Fennerman.

[John Clay Wolf]

Fenner mean Fetterman. I mean it sounds like aunt Fetterman. Got it. She. I don't know what made me think of her.

[Michael Turley]

Is this somebody you knew? Somebody in your family?

[John Clay Wolf]

Your aunt, she's just always wanting something. Oh my God, John. Yeah.

[Aunt Fetterman]

You always asking me about those little boys.

[John Clay Wolf]

About what?

[Aunt Fetterman]

And that one, Little John Clay Jr. Oh, her sons. He's a pretty little boy.

[Michael Turley]

Who's your aunt?

[John Clay Wolf]

It's not my aunt. She is my ex wife's aunt.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, ex wife's aunt.

[John Clay Wolf]

So she was my aunt in law. But we became. She took a liking to me back in the. Not like that.

[Aunt Fetterman]

But I'm your one and only one true step half aunt in law. And we talk about you all the time. I wish you'd come out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where are you living now? Again?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Eat some beans and cornbread. Drinking coffee.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where are you living now?

[Aunt Fetterman]

We live out on the Belcherville Road just south of Azel. Out here. Oh Lord. It's beautiful country.

[John Clay Wolf]

Aunt Fenner.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Wendell has his. His junkyard out here on the east.

[Michael Turley]

Wendell.

[Aunt Fetterman]

And when the sun comes up in the morning, not like six or seven, more like 10 or 11.

[John Clay Wolf]

What brings you in today?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Shines on all those old cars. Well, I was calling about my car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Aunt Fetterman]

My little Subaru.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Quit again.

[John Clay Wolf]

I hooked you up with three cars over the past 15. I've been divorced. I know I've been. I left your niece or she left me like 15 years ago.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Oh, bless your heart. I know how that hurt you.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I'm fine. I got remarried and have three beautiful sons and a great wife. Is the best thing that ever happened.

[Aunt Fetterman]

No, she's so beautiful, your wife. You got such good looking kids.

[John Clay Wolf]

But smart.

[Aunt Fetterman]

My God.

[John Clay Wolf]

You come up here every three years and ask for something.

[Aunt Fetterman]

But every one of the cars you got me didn't last as long as my old Subaru, and it. It seems to have crapped the bed. So I took it over here to Casey's, and he said it's got a master cylinder problem and it also needs an alternator and a Pioneer stereo. And all that's gonna cost me is seventeen hundred dollars.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

And he said.

[Aunt Fetterman]

He let me pay it out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh. So what do you need from me? What is that, Aunt Fetterman? Aunt Fetterman, what do you need from me?

[Aunt Fetterman]

I've already had my two packs of candies today. I'm so stressed out with this Subaru. You should see little John John coloring his little coloring book. He looks just like.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know why you name that child after me.

[Aunt Fetterman]

He sticks his tongue out the left side of his mouth like if.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Aunt Fetterman]

And you could tell he's putting some so much effort. And he ain't any good, but he sure likes to color them books. So this morning we had toast and jelly for breakfast.

[John Clay Wolf]

You and my brother, if I remember correctly. If I remember correctly, Aunt Fennerman, back when we had our wedding in 97, and you were there, you hooked up with my brother. What?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, now, we was only talking.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, but I don't. You and he were much closer than you and I. I mean, I always enjoyed being your friend, but why do you always come to me for stuff?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, we talked for 11 days.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why don't you go see him?

[Aunt Fetterman]

You know, we went to Taos.

[Michael Turley]

Taos?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

She used to be. Really. She used to be pretty damn good looking.

[Aunt Fetterman]

We had lots to talk about.

[Bob Floyd]

Okay?

[Aunt Fetterman]

And it was more fun in Taos because there's no police in New Mexico.

[John Clay Wolf]

There are police.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Did you know that?

[Michael Turley]

There are police in that?

[Aunt Fetterman]

That's the truth.

[John Clay Wolf]

Truth?

[Michael Turley]

That's not the truth.

[Aunt Fetterman]

It's the absolute truth.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've got. I've got two minutes before this, and I've got to go to commercial, so we got to. What do you need from me?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, Casey said he needed 17,000, so I thought we might just.

[John Clay Wolf]

I thought 1700.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Oh, that's right, John. You keep me on the straight and narrow all the time.

[John Clay Wolf]

What do you need for me, Aunt fetterman?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Casey said 1700, so I thought maybe we could talk about a cool 2000 and then I'll pay it out.

[John Clay Wolf]

So you need me to do what?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, you can write a check or just come out and see us tomorrow night. I'll make some beans and cornbread and we can play Trouble with the kids. That was their Christmas present. It's got a Papa Matic.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, I will. What if I give you 500 and you give Casey that 500 and you pay him out?

[Aunt Fetterman]

I just love you to death. You're so nice.

[John Clay Wolf]

Here go Aunt Fenner.

[Aunt Fetterman]

How about a thousand?

[John Clay Wolf]

You're right. A thousand. If we do a thousand, can I get on back to work and I'll.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Give you the Subaru? When I'm done here, we'll talk about that dog, Dakota.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've actually got it on me right now.

[Aunt Fetterman]

I heard you bought it. M3 from a little girl.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, but that's gonna be too expensive. I can't help you with that.

[Aunt Fetterman]

That's a good car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now, remember, Aunt Fetterman, I do love you. And you've been good to me for a long time back, and you took my side in the divorce and all that, but. But it's been a long time. That's over. If you. Next time you need something, go see my brother. You and he had more relationship than you and I.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, he's nice.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, go see John Clay. You're just as smooth as a bowl of instant oatmeal.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I'm gonna give you this thousand dollars. I gotta get back to my work, so thank you, apples and all. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. 07 Ford 500 Tony. With 37,000 miles leather, it's got to be worth three grand. 3,500 bucks, I think.

[Caller]

Oh, that's not too bad.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then go to givemetheven.com and load it up. I'm sorry. I'm talking so fast. I'm running out of time.

[J.D. Ryan]

Have a great one.

[John Clay Wolf]

Aunt Fetterman took all of our air time.

[Caller]

I heard. Damn her.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have any. Any kin folk like that?

[Caller]

You know what? I have one. And bless her heart, may she rest in peace. She just passed, but yes, I understand non stop.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's tough. All right, thanks, man. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. J.D. ryan, Bobbo Turley. And we buy cars on the air for givemetheven.com.

[Announcer]

Givemetheven.com presents.

[John Clay Wolf]

Crank it up.

[Bob Floyd]

It's red hot.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm digging it.

[Announcer]

Give me the vin. The John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

Quid quo pro Clarice. Name this tune.

[J.D. Ryan]

I believe you'd be listening to the Mr. Floyd, Clarice.

[John Clay Wolf]

It is Mr. Floyd, but what is the name of the track?

[J.D. Ryan]

I believe it could be Pigs.

[John Clay Wolf]

Pigs?

[J.D. Ryan]

From the Animals lp.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like pigs when pigs fly.

[J.D. Ryan]

Did you know?

[Bob Floyd]

No.

[J.D. Ryan]

Winnie, riddle me this. Roger Waters is a cannibal as well.

[Michael Turley]

He's not.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yes, he did.

[Michael Turley]

No, he didn't.

[J.D. Ryan]

That's the true story of what happened to one Sid Barrett.

[John Clay Wolf]

He ate Roger Waters. Ate him.

[J.D. Ryan]

Of Manchester.

[John Clay Wolf]

He just ate him.

[J.D. Ryan]

He ate him.

[John Clay Wolf]

He ate him.

[J.D. Ryan]

With a nice Bordeaux and some Black Eyed Peace.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800. This is a good tune. Turn that, boss.

[Michael Turley]

As opposed to pigs flying. Have you heard what's going on in Florida? Iguanas falling to the ground.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now, what is that about?

[Michael Turley]

Iguanas are falling out of the trees in Florida because it got cold. And if it gets below 40, they kind of freeze up. So. So they fall out of the trees. They're literally falling into people's pools and everything else.

[John Clay Wolf]

Rusty, the chipmunks.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Everybody's all freaked out because waters are falling off a tree.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, because it got cold.

[John Clay Wolf]

Randy, Randy. Hang on, hang on. Before y' all get into this, I got to grab. Rolling in Houston. 08. Nice roll into 08. Nissan Titan LE with 65,000 miles, two wheel drive, crew cab, leather roof, and nav. Is that correct?

[Caller]

Yes, sir, that's correct.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Do you have a payoff on it?

[Caller]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sounds like a car. I could tell. I can tell. It's a car that you own. I don't know why. Does eight grand buy it?

[Caller]

No, I was actually gonna ask for 16.

[Bob Floyd]

5.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's 08. It's 11 years old. We lost Roland. He, like the iguanas, just froze up and fell into the street. All right, back to you.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Well, he likes that car, doesn't he?

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on, Randy. I got one more. Sean in Forney, Texas. Shawna. 15F250, 20,000 mile. Roland, I'll give 10 grand for your Nissan. 15F250, 20, 000 mile, four wheel drive, crew cab, leather, nav, diesel. It says rad conversion. What's rad mean?

[Caller]

Rad conversion. It's a Randall Reed deal. It's where they convert the truck, lift kits and wheels and tires, things like that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. I need to see pictures of it because the. So I can value the lift and all this stuff, but I like the truck. Are you gonna. Are you trading it or selling it?

[Caller]

Well, I don't know. I've looked at some of the new 18, and I thought about trading it. I don't drive it very much, obviously.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have they. Have you already worked a deal on it?

[Caller]

Well, they offered me right around 55. They told me 55. 5 was about the best they could do on it. I paid a whole lot more than that, but I know they lose value. I paid over 75 for it. I guess that's my fault, but it's a beautiful truck. Low miles, no problem with it. Never been in all service. Everything's been through Ford.

[John Clay Wolf]

So the truck, with the truck without the conversion on it and that body style is worth about, about, you know, 48, 49 grand. So the extra money is going to be in the conversion. Just send me some pictures of it. Go to givemetheven.com. give givemetheven.com and we'll look. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio now, Randy.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Damn.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

$50,000 for a truck?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Are you high?

[John Clay Wolf]

No. I'm high on Starbucks coffee, though.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

But you know these lizards falling out of trees.

[Michael Turley]

Iguanas.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Iguanas have been falling off of stuff forever. It's part of that whole iguana thing. No, I mean, you know, like, dogs love to drink beer.

[Michael Turley]

Dogs drink beer.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

You know that.

[Aunt Fetterman]

No, I didn't.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

You ever give your dog beer?

[Michael Turley]

I know.

[Aunt Fetterman]

I don't.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

He'll drink it.

[Michael Turley]

I don't give.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

They love it.

[Michael Turley]

All right.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

They love it the most.

[Michael Turley]

All right.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

And us chipmunks will fire up a doobie, you know, just chilling.

[Michael Turley]

That I believe.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Keeping it real. And raccoons are all meth head tweakers.

[John Clay Wolf]

I did not know that.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

But reptiles.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

And especially the iguanas.

[Michael Turley]

Iguanas?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

They're like lifetime acid freaks.

[Bob Floyd]

No.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Yes, they are. Like, you know, if you look at iguana in the eye, right? You'll trip your nuts off. Why, it's true. That's all iguanas do is lay around and lick each other in the eye. Listen to Pink Floyd going, if you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Don'T eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? I don't even know what the hell that's supposed to mean, but that's what acid does. One time, my friend Rusty, he went to the Renaissance Fair and licked this lizard in the eye. Because it's all part of the act, you know. He's watching the stand up recitation, and this lizard girl named the Lady Yafina, she goes like, lickest thou me in mine eye and ye shall see visions of thyself in Avalon. And Rusty was already high at the time, of course, and he really bought into all that mystical Dungeons and Dragons talk. So, long story short, he done it. Licked her right in the eye.

[Bob Floyd]

Okay?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

And we didn't see Rusty for like four months.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where did he go?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

No, he went and joined the Rennies.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, the Renaissance people.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

He went and joined the Rennies and became like young Goodman Rust Beaver, the mad monk of the nut forest or something like that. And him and the lady Yafina, whose real name was Christy.

[Michael Turley]

Okay?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

They dated for like a year and a half.

[John Clay Wolf]

Messed him up, man.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

He lost his house.

[Michael Turley]

No.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

He lost his car.

[John Clay Wolf]

He didn't have a car.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

He lost everything.

[John Clay Wolf]

He didn't care.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

He's walked around in sandals.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who was saying the thing about if you don't eat your meat?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

The iguanas.

[John Clay Wolf]

And what did he say?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

They're all assiduous.

[Michael Turley]

Iguanas are acid freaks. That's why they're falling out of the trees.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you don't eat your meat, you.

[Michael Turley]

Can'T have any pudding.

[John Clay Wolf]

How can you have any pudding if.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

You don't eat your meat?

[John Clay Wolf]

And this is what iguanas are saying. To whom?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

To each other. Little freakazoids, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

And then they just fall out of the trees.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Don't get mixed up with reptiles, okay? Even, even the most innocent looking little frog, if you lick it in the eye, you will trip your nuts off.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you, Brandon.

[Randy the Chipmunk]

That's not always good.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you, Randy the Chipmunk. If you don't eat your meat. Ah. Anyway, how can you have any?

[Michael Turley]

Waters are cold. It's cold in Florida. That's why they're falling out of the trees. Dear Lord.

[John Clay Wolf]

RVs and motorcycles. Go to givemetheven.com we buy those as well. We have RV specialists and motorcycle specialists in house on staff, motor RVs and trailers. You have all of it.

[Michael Turley]

Okay?

[J.D. Ryan]

Damn right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Boats also. We're hiring. We're hiring office staff and buyers. Loading up for a. A big transition. We're fixing to grow a lot, so we're going to email your resume to [e-mail]. don't have to be an ex car person. Don't have to be a current car person. For the office staff, rig job, we definitely would like dealership experience, be it independent dealership or franchise dealership. But buyers, managers, drivers, we're gonna look at everybody. So we're gonna hire about 50 people in the next 45 days. 800, 800 [e-mail] and the jobs are located. Located in Fort Worth, Texas. You've got to be in Fort Worth, Texas. Texas. Fort Worth, Texas. Not Dallas, not Arkansas, not Louisiana, not Oklahoma. Headquarters is in Fort Worth, Texas. 8008-0072-3480-0800-Radio NFL Carl. The NFL wild card playoff weekend which nobody really cares about.

[Bobo]

Oh, what are you talking about? No one cares about.

[John Clay Wolf]

You care. Yes, I care about the College Football Playoff Monday night.

[Bobo]

Big game 330. Titans and Chiefs. Actually I said that one's probably not the best game. Could be a little bit closer than everybody's predicting. Chiefs are favored by nine and then Falcons. Rams at la. Rams are favored by six and a half. I think that's gonna be a really close game. That's tonight at 7:15 on NBC. John, tune into that one. It's gonna be high scoring.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just tonight.

[Bobo]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good. That's.

[Bobo]

That's the game you want to watch.

[J.D. Ryan]

First playoff game in that venue since the early 1900s.

[Bobo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

That hundred point playoff game the other day between Georgia and oklahoma. It wasn't 100. It's close. Awesome.

[Bobo]

Sundays. Yeah, there's. There's game Sunday. Bills at Jags. Eh, that's not a good game. Panthers at Saints, 340 Fox. That's a good one.

[John Clay Wolf]

800800 radio is the calling number. We're going to go into a little lightning round in just a moment. So if you want to get your car bid on the air quickly. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. JD is upset with JCW.

[Bobo]

Oh yeah?

[Michael Turley]

Why? What I do now?

[John Clay Wolf]

You were, you were talking about you.

[Bobo]

We already.

[John Clay Wolf]

You were talking trash and he wrote it down.

[J.D. Ryan]

What?

[John Clay Wolf]

Did you record it?

[Michael Turley]

Did you record it?

[John Clay Wolf]

I hope you record it.

[Bobo]

You were so upset with him about the floofs being spread around the office. You were doing the video.

[Michael Turley]

That should be like a manager's position to call and say don't come to work.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm not the manager. I'm not the manager though. I'm not the manager. I don't even know roles.

[Michael Turley]

You didn't know?

[John Clay Wolf]

I really didn't know. I knew we were. Had a lot of people out.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, you got people over.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then I walk in and see your pansy ass wearing a surgical mask trying to keep. I'm going to post that on. I'm going to post that on the Facebook page. Smart Facebook page. Facebook page of John Clay Wolf Show.

[J.D. Ryan]

JD's crime fighting Persona the White Hornet.

[Michael Turley]

And a can of Lysol. You got people up here with act. I don't think. I'm not talking about maybe has the flu feel a little bad. This guy's documented. The doctor told him he has the flu and he's up here with it.

[Bobo]

He was thrown up in the sink.

[Michael Turley]

Thrown up in the sink. Who was the person we're talking about.

[John Clay Wolf]

Rob, the guy that just went and got our breakfast.

[Bobo]

No, no, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

Robert. Oh, Robert McCain.

[Michael Turley]

Robert. Robert.

[John Clay Wolf]

But he's an alcoholic. He always throws up at the sink. He has the flu.

[Michael Turley]

Active flu. And now the girl that sits to the right of where I work on.

[John Clay Wolf]

The video, Typhoid Mary.

[Michael Turley]

Typhoid Mary also has the flu.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm posting this picture of you right now.

[Michael Turley]

Please.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't think he knows about the picture. John Clay Wolf show, who took a.

[Michael Turley]

Picture of me with my surgical mask.

[John Clay Wolf]

Typhoid Mary said, look at JD Being all weird.

[Michael Turley]

I'm not being weird. I mean healthy. And if you got the flu, by the way, if you just by chance have the flu, stay home, don't go to Walmart, don't go to the store.

[Bob Floyd]

Don'T go to work.

[John Clay Wolf]

They say this is bad. So you're sitting here, work it on a video.

[Michael Turley]

Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

I just. I just posted it. If you want to make fun of JD it's on John Clay Wolf Show. And remember, the podcast goes up at one o' clock on itunes and I Heart whatever and all that crap. Okay? Mark and Plano, good morning. You're on the air.

[Caller]

Hello.

[John Clay Wolf]

12 Rover Sport with 56. We're just getting down to brass tacks. We're saving the. Hey, we love the show. Longtime listener. Love you guys. Screw all that. You and I are doing business. I've got a gun pointed at you. And you got one pointed at me. Let's see what we come up with.

[Caller]

Let's do it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a title?

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Caller]

2012 range over sport Supercharged.

[John Clay Wolf]

Got it, Got it, got it. Okay. What's wrong with it? Nothing. Okay.

[Caller]

Nothing.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. Do you have good service records on it?

[Caller]

Yes, I do.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is it. So it's the supercharged. It's not the Autobiography Supercharged. It's not the hsc. It's just the. The flat Supercharged, Right?

[Caller]

Flat supercharged. That's right.

[John Clay Wolf]

What color is she?

[Caller]

It is burgundy. Kind of a red Burgundy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Tan guts or black guts? The tan.

[Caller]

Tan insides.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Okay. Average MMR is 22. 3. Have you had any offers from anyone else?

[Caller]

No, no, no. I just was listening to you guys every Saturday and thought I'd call, call in today and see what's worth 22.

[John Clay Wolf]

3. Sounds too low.

[Caller]

Yes, it does.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm looking at a man market report and I don't know why the hell it's saying 22. 3. So what does it take to buy it? I don't know.

[Caller]

I was thinking it's worth 25 to 26,000. I don't know, let's look.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna. I agree with you. Let me tell you what I will give for. Because you sound like a guy that actually wants to do something for real and not just talk about. About a bunch of bs. Range Rover Sport. Range Rover Sport, super trouble looking something up real quick. Supercharged. There we go. It's got good miles. Okay, 47,000 miles. 61. 61,000 miles. Brought $20,000 in Riverside, California last week. 61,000 miles. Bought 20,400 in North Star, Minnesota. What date then? November 74. Plano, Texas. Where John Wolf's gonna give you for an old ass Range Rover with nice miles, old body style, but I like it. I'm gonna give you $23,000. Is that what we call a ball buster? Yeah, for me it is. JD That's a ball buster. Not what you do with your boyfriends on the weekends. This is his Range Rover. If I give you 24 grand, are we doing business?

[Caller]

Could consider.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think I'm. And please don't, please don't mistake my question for an offer because I'm considering it myself. Do this. Go to givemetheven.com. load the car up, say talk to John on the radio. Here's the pictures, takes 25 grand. He offered me 23. We're thinking about 24 and then I'll look at it after the show. Troy in Oklahoma City. Good morning.

[Caller]

Hey, John. Yeah, this is Troy. I don't have a club, so I just wanted to tell you that deal about the iguanas falling out of the trees and doing acid? Yeah, man, that was the funniest crap I ever heard. Dude, I listen to your show all the time.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, thank you.

[Caller]

I'm still loud. I'll be right. Traffic for months on that and I'm glad.

[John Clay Wolf]

See? See there? It can be love between me and someone from Oklahoma. It can happen.

[Michael Turley]

Just took a frozen iguana.

[John Clay Wolf]

Troy, how many miles. Troy, how many miles are on your. On your car? 200. What?

[Caller]

I don't have a car.

[John Clay Wolf]

I love it. I love it. That's my people, man.

[J.D. Ryan]

He's been licking reptiles.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna go. I'm, I'm. I'm gonna buy that junkie deal on the other side of the river. What was it called? Falcon Head in Oklahoma and like start a methy rehab compound commune.

[Michael Turley]

Hell yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like Jim Jones did for Oklahomans. And we're gonna broadcast the show. Then that's where I'm gonna live. The Rest of my life. I just decided because I love those people. I'll be right back.

[Announcer]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show Show after this. Presented by givemethevin.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give me the VIN.

[Announcer]

Givemethebin.com and now, Senor Juan Clay Wolf, new boot goofing.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

You haven't seen that video from Reno911?

[J.D. Ryan]

Are you speaking Danish?

[John Clay Wolf]

New boot. New boot goofing.

[Michael Turley]

No, the port Goofy goofing.

[John Clay Wolf]

It sounds about right in it. New boot goofing.

[J.D. Ryan]

I must have missed that episode.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's funny, dude. It's great. I've seen a few times. Okay, Chad. Good morning. Where are you calling from? Chadwick. Buick enclave. Chad. Going once, Chad.

[Caller]

It's sad, but it's Houston.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, you're in Houston. So we've got a 15 enclave with 39, 000 miles. Which station are you listening to us on, Jen? 94. 5 the Buzz. Love those guys. 15 Buick Enclave with 39000 miles. Leather roof, no nav.

[Caller]

Correct. It needs front tires, by the way.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is it a. It's not a premium. It's gonna be a leather rig. Okay. What color.

[Bob Floyd]

Old people?

[John Clay Wolf]

Brown.

[Caller]

It's my ex wife's car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Caller]

That brown metallic color.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's your ex wife's car.

[Caller]

Correct. I got it in the divorce. She didn't.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, that's good. I mean, she must not been much of a looker if she was driving that old dooo.

[Caller]

Brown school teacher.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I mean school teachers can be cool, but I mean, that one's not okay. What grade does she. Is she elementary or high school?

[Caller]

Elementary.

[John Clay Wolf]

Horses. The high school teachers are normally the ones that. Let's go. I mean, we all love our teachers. Yeah. Chad had a bad divorce. He's bitter man.

[Bob Floyd]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a clean. Do you have a clear payoff or do you have a clear title or.

[Caller]

I have a title.

[Bob Floyd]

I have a title.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so you're ready to sell it. Do you have any other offers?

[Caller]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so going once, going twice. It's the doo doo brown. We call that medium husk.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Medium husk is the actual GM color. 21 GS.

[Caller]

You can have it for 22.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, I'm gonna buy it. So go to givemetheven.com. let's do it. And send me. Send us some pictures of your ex lady. Let's go. GiveMeThe Vin.com is where you can load your car up. Get an immediate offer from our computer system and we will buy your car, come to your house. If we don't beat your Carmax offer. We'll pay $100 or. J.D. i'll kiss your ass. Rush Limbaugh.

[Michael Turley]

Rush Limbaugh.

[John Clay Wolf]

Rush, Rush, Rush. Good morning, John, my favorite Floridian and fellow radio man.

[J.D. Ryan]

Thanks very much.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, yes, of course, of course.

[J.D. Ryan]

You're my favorite Oklahoman.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, tell me, tell me, tell me, what is going on with Donald Trump? Catch me up.

[J.D. Ryan]

There's a long story short.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is he new? Boo. Goofing.

[J.D. Ryan]

There's. There's. Look, there's no. There's no short version. There's a new book by the writer Michael Wolf. Do you know him?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[J.D. Ryan]

Have you heard of him?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[J.D. Ryan]

He did a striking, striking expose on Roger Ailes a few years ago, which a lot of people think may have begun the downfall of the Fox News Network.

[John Clay Wolf]

The.

[J.D. Ryan]

Which hasn't happened, of course. He's just a writer. He's no Hunter Thompson. And the book, Fire and Fury is the title of it, is full of anecdotes, fun little anecdotes about the Trump, about the Donald that many people are acting shocked by. There's one in particular, one of the unrevealed sources in the book says that Donald Trump's thing, he really. He likes to get with his. His friends, wives.

[John Clay Wolf]

What?

[J.D. Ryan]

Come on, like a deal?

[John Clay Wolf]

Like a what?

[J.D. Ryan]

You know. No, no, not swapping, like stealing them for a while and then bringing them back.

[Michael Turley]

No, no.

[J.D. Ryan]

I happen to know our illustrious leader more closely than anyone, including this writer, if you'd use the term, Michael Wolf. What Donald does with his friends, wives is a game called Wahoo. Have you heard of this?

[John Clay Wolf]

No. You play? Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

You play with marbles on a board. It's a lot like trouble, but you don't have the popomatic. You have to roll your own dice game. And he loves it when you know, you. You move the marbles around and when you. When you land on someone else's marble.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hannah is sitting there wanting to talk.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, what's she in here?

[John Clay Wolf]

Hannah, what are you doing?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have intel on that? This. They're not playing wahoo.

[Michael Turley]

They're not playing wahoo, if that's what.

[J.D. Ryan]

They'Re calling it these days.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what. What are they doing?

[Michael Turley]

The rush things.

[J.D. Ryan]

They're calling.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have you. Do you know the President?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Nah, I never known anybody famous or anything.

[Michael Turley]

Never. With all the.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Except for Kid Rock.

[John Clay Wolf]

You knew.

[Michael Turley]

You met Kid Rock?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Yeah, of course. He stole me, actually, from my boyfriend at the time, and this was back in 1996.

[Michael Turley]

Stole you yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who stole you and we weren't playing Yahoo.

[Michael Turley]

Kid Rock.

[John Clay Wolf]

Kid Rock, Yeah. So do you think that Donald is. What do you think he's doing?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, he may be playing board games.

[John Clay Wolf]

Because he doesn't look sexy.

[Michael Turley]

He doesn't look.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hannah's are in house stripper.

[Aunt Fetterman]

He's got tiny hands and it looks so nice. I think he's religious.

[John Clay Wolf]

What do you think about wife swapping?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, you know, it goes a long way towards men and women getting along together.

[Bob Floyd]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh you're, you're pro wife swapping?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Well, I mean I'm not against anything, you know, unless I can't make money at it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you get paid to do some couples therapy when I'm at work.

[Aunt Fetterman]

That pole is my husband and I will stand by my man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh my God.

[Aunt Fetterman]

And sometimes I climb in.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Sometimes around him.

[John Clay Wolf]

So Rush, what do you think that. Do you think that I don't know what's.

[J.D. Ryan]

Who's this little hussy?

[John Clay Wolf]

She's our. She's our little in house stripper. Oh my God. Now I mean do you think it's true? Because if, if, if our, if our president is his wife swapper. I've got a fundamental problem with that.

[J.D. Ryan]

If it's not wahoo, it's probably clue.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know who would know? You know who would know? Satan. Satan would know. Satan ties it all to king of all evil.

[Bob Floyd]

I was waiting for you to ask me about this job.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, good morning Satan. How are you? Good. Thanks for joining us.

[Bob Floyd]

I mean and I'm not bragging, but.

[Michael Turley]

I know all that's kind of bragging.

[Bob Floyd]

Here's the sad truth. Are you ready?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bob Floyd]

They're playing Sorry.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sorry. So he's not wife's father?

[Bob Floyd]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good. The clothes don't even come off now clock. Cluck Norris, our. Our chicken. Get over there off that stool. Come over and get on the microphone. This is our chicken that came from stop six cluck north.

[J.D. Ryan]

Coming down here, you know a little.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bit about womanizing, wife swapping, all that.

[J.D. Ryan]

What do you think when you at your friend's house.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

And go and take their wife and put in your car and take to your place.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

Back at the born sure other coupe. Whatever you live in right at the time you ain't playing no trouble with that girl. Somebody's draw is gonna come off. Gots to be more careful.

[John Clay Wolf]

So cluck Norris, you think that the president's into wife swapping?

[J.D. Ryan]

I don't even know who your president is. I don't vote and I don't lick no lizards in the eye I ain't got nothing to do with nothing illegal All I'm gonna do is drink whiskey.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

And make my hands have it.

[Michael Turley]

I gotcha.

[John Clay Wolf]

Rush, we've got to go. Turley, you're telling me we're up against a break. Rush, I've got to go to break. Will you come back in a moment?

[J.D. Ryan]

I'm always happy to hang around. I'm not really able to walk right now.

[John Clay Wolf]

Can you take us out on. You're the big professional. I'm just. I'm hearing all of you.

[J.D. Ryan]

Here's what we call the three Percocet segue. You ready?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

We'll be back after more of these commercials with some more of the John Clay Wolf Show. Don't go away. God, that's funny.

[Announcer]

We'll be right back. More of the John Clay Wolf show, presented by givemethevin.com coming up.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

You know, your trade in is nice. It's nicer than what they're offering you. It's worth more than your neighbors because you take care of yours. Well, John's with you and John will give you more than other dealers do. Just go to gimmetheven.com and load up your car. John's even made it easier. Now you can go to gimmetheven.com and give John your license plate number and his system will immediately issue a price right there. GiveMeTheVin.com They've completely changed the car business.

[J.D. Ryan]

So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Announcer]

Want to see what these jackasses look like? Go to john claywolf.com and don't forget to download the podcast the John Clay Wolf Show. 800, 800 radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

Call in. Presented by gimmetheven.com and Mick Jagger and Keith Richards himself. Keith, I. You know, it's so crazy. People would never believe that you come in here and hang out with us on Saturday mornings.

[J.D. Ryan]

Background.

[Michael Turley]

They don't know their background.

[Bob Floyd]

No. Me and John.

[Michael Turley]

You and John.

[J.D. Ryan]

I've only a long time.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. He has a. He has a girlfriend And a. A 17 year old child here in Frisco.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he comes over and that's why he's always here. And he likes hanging with us.

[J.D. Ryan]

Not a little busy, just a lot to be a good dad.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he also has a 7 year old child and another girlfriend in Arlington, Texas. Really? Yeah. I had no idea.

[J.D. Ryan]

But I love taxes, though.

[John Clay Wolf]

And then he's got another child that's 27 years old that he visits during the holidays in Houston. And her mother lives in Galveston. And he has one more child in Denton. That's three.

[J.D. Ryan]

I love it. I love it.

[John Clay Wolf]

That he adopted with a young black man. I guess I don't know how they did it without being married.

[J.D. Ryan]

Well, he's me mate. Huh?

[Michael Turley]

He's your mate.

[J.D. Ryan]

That is me mate. That. It's like a friend of mine. Don't be homophobic.

[Michael Turley]

I'm not being homophobic.

[J.D. Ryan]

No, you did as well, because we've seen it. You look like you're about weep openly like a little child.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm not gonna do any such thing.

[Aunt Fetterman]

No.

[J.D. Ryan]

I was sitting at a concert about the old Reunion arena back in 1982. I was eating a banana.

[Michael Turley]

You were eating a banana?

[J.D. Ryan]

No, I was having a snack backstage.

[Michael Turley]

I gotcha.

[J.D. Ryan]

I met a girl.

[John Clay Wolf]

Girl. Keith. Keith. Keith.

[J.D. Ryan]

And she was wonderful.

[John Clay Wolf]

We don't have 45 minutes for Keith's gibberish.

[J.D. Ryan]

Well, you asked me.

[John Clay Wolf]

I did. I did. But I appreciate. Keith. If you want gibberish, I've got it online. 1.

[J.D. Ryan]

When you've got to paint the bus, Paint the bus.

[John Clay Wolf]

Strip club dj. Good morning. You're on the air.

[Caller]

Morning, John. I just got a quick question. We're watching the video of you at the auction this week.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Caller]

How in the hell do y' all understand what the auctioneer is saying?

[John Clay Wolf]

How does Keith Richards play? Give me shelter.

[Caller]

Practice, practice, practice.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Wait. Do you have an example of Handy Charlie by any chance? Let's see. Let's listen to what you're talking about. Turley's got a bunch of another 66. Sold. $12,000. Did you not hear that?

[Caller]

I didn't hear anything.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hit one more, Turl. Well, that's me talking over the deal. He's got nothing. 56,000. Sounds like a square dance production here. Who's that? J.D. quit dancing. Get back over here. You got your clogs on.

[J.D. Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Strip club, you just get used to it is the truth. You just absolutely get used to it. We ought to send you to. We ought to send you to auctioneer school. If I could get you into auctioneer school, would you do it? This would be fun.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[Bob Floyd]

I do it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Baba, do you think they'd be in a better auctioneer in the world than strip club dj?

[Bob Floyd]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't either.

[J.D. Ryan]

And I think you should send them to a teeming city to take it to someplace like Cincinnati.

[John Clay Wolf]

If we ever did, like, a classic car. And I've thought about us doing our own, like, classic car auction.

[Michael Turley]

Give me 1,000.

[John Clay Wolf]

Strip club could be the strip club could be the auctioneer. I don't know. Strip. We'll work on it. Saturday, February 10, in Houston, Texas, in the shadow of the Galleria area. Come on with your bad self to celebrate the thousandth show by John Clay Wolf and the gang. This is a deal.

[Michael Turley]

It's done.

[John Clay Wolf]

Deal. Loads of free stuff. Lots of cool, sexy, fun guests. Where are we gonna be fun, fun, fun. And you can sell your T bird that day. Right, Right next to the Galleria and a parking lot. There'll be free parking.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

I know Miller Light's bringing the beer and I think, I don't, I don't know all the details. I know that our thousandth show is.

[Bobo]

Going to be developing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Our thousandth show is going to be February 10th in Houston, Texas. And we're going to go down to Houston, do it fun.

[J.D. Ryan]

So it's going to be live? The show's live out there or are we going to borrow a studio? Do the show.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're going to borrow the studio at ESPN Studios.

[J.D. Ryan]

Okay. Then come out and party.

[Bob Floyd]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

[Bobo]

And the reason it's Houston, because that's.

[John Clay Wolf]

What we started on and we've been there eight years and we've never done an in person besides that one goof thing at the Seabrook Yacht Club about five years ago where we all dressed up like Gilligan's Islands character and Pete Gator showed up with a gold helmet on.

[Michael Turley]

And we had content from that one weekend for a year.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

Good party.

[John Clay Wolf]

That was fun.

[J.D. Ryan]

That was fun. Good party.

[John Clay Wolf]

800-800-7-234.

[J.D. Ryan]

We just destroyed two restaurants.

[John Clay Wolf]

800 radio Austin, Texas. San Antonio, Texas. Oklahoma. FYI, Oklahoma. I believe today is the first day that y' all are going to get our number four of our little ditty. Hey, so let me know about 11:15 if we're on an Oklahoma City on the brew. If they did the engineering to turn us on. And we always make these deals with people.

[Michael Turley]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

And then like Friday at 3:00'. Clock. Oh, man, we didn't realize we got to set up Westwood One. We got to do this. That every time. Not sometimes. Every time we have a start date on a new market, it's screw up. We always had to push it a week or two. And we're going on in Corpus Christi, Texas. We're starting some classic rocker there. We're starting on classic rocker in Midland. We've got, we'll have 20 markets by the end of this month. And then the Florida thing comes.

[Michael Turley]

Florida thing.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll talk to you more about that. Okay. I can't wait. In. In a little bit. 800. Yeah, I just decided yesterday.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, okay. That's why I don't know about it.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's why nobody knew about it until I got up this morning and had a conversation with Sideshow Bob, my homeboy out in Florida, and we decided to do it. Screw it, let's go. Got nothing else to do.

[Michael Turley]

Like it.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you're wanting, we're in. We're going to hire a lot more [e-mail] so if you live in the Metroplex and can work in Fort Worth, you have to. To work in the office in Fort Worth, Texas, at our headquarters, go to jobsivemetheven.com we're hiring buyers, we're hiring office staff, and we're hiring delivery drivers. We'll be hiring delivery drivers in Houston and in Dallas, Fort Worth. So do that. And remember, RVs and motorcycles. We buy those, too. That's all I got. What. What else is in the news, boss?

[Michael Turley]

We have Paris Hilton kicking off the new year with a new engagement to actor Chris. Is it Zela? Apparently they have pictures of them on the Internet. Hilton announced the news in an Instagram post on Tuesday. Just happened to have a professional photographer on hand when they were up on the. Just reminded me of you, John. Up in the Aspen mountains.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, God.

[Michael Turley]

When they got married. When they got engaged, rather.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why does that remind you?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Because you love Aspen.

[Michael Turley]

And that's.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, you know why I love Aspen. You know why I love Aspen. Okay. So when I was in sixth grade, when I was in fourth grade, I left my mama.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I went to live full time with my dad.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. My brother moved. He was 15, and I wanted to go be with the boys. So I went and lived with dad, and mom got. Then she got a divorce.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

About two years later. And she was like, both my kids live with her dad. I'm gonna go start my life over. And she literally loaded up her station wagon, a Buick estate wagon, and drove to Aspen, Colorado. Why? And bought a storage deal, put it in there, got an apartment and went to work at the polo shop. And I would go visit my mom there. And it worked for her. Very pretty lady. She met Tony Zaluka. He's a retired Wall street gazillionaire. They bought a house in Aspen, lived on Red Mountain, and I spent all my years up there. Then after that, I'm like, hell with dad. I'm gonna go hang with mom.

[Michael Turley]

You're just working the best deal Screw Dad.

[John Clay Wolf]

This deal's a lot better, right? A lot, lot better.

[Michael Turley]

Well, anyway, that's where Hilton got engaged. She says he is my best friend and my soulmate. Thank you for showing me what fairy tales and that they really do exist. Chris, by the way, the actor was asked if he kissed her after proposing. He said actually he'd seen a certain video and rather not put his mouth there. John's just staring at me like, what's.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm thinking about the old you, you got a million dollars, you just don't know it yet story.

[J.D. Ryan]

But.

[John Clay Wolf]

But it's my mom, so I can't really make a joke out of it.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, you have a story going on in your head. Yeah, you just haven't shared with us.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, the old story. No, gals, you're a millionaire, you just don't realize it yet.

[Michael Turley]

I don't.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, I can't say it any more clearly where it won't be a just. It's my mother. It's my mother. John Clay.

[J.D. Ryan]

I could get 40 pages, three chapters out of that.

[John Clay Wolf]

The problem with mom, man, was, I mean, she, she like him. He was retired. She turned in after 4 o'. Clock. Phone ringing oh, God.

[J.D. Ryan]

Junk.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hello, Honey? I mean, just drunk. Oh, the drunk. Just drunk. But she wasn't drunk when I was growing up. But boy, when people get rich, they get turned into drunks.

[Michael Turley]

Well, rich. I've always said money just makes you more of what you naturally were.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, I never knew my mom to be a drunk at all her.

[Michael Turley]

Entire life, but she, she got more relaxed.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was just a freaking full blown alcoholic. He's a great guy, but like, when he stopped drinking, when he stopped drinking, he would start having alcoholic seizures.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, we hung out with the people that own the Wall Street Journal, the people that founded American Express. All these crazy. And they're all such alcoholics crazy. I mean, it'd be like. It'd be like just potheads at a Grateful Dead concert. All right, we got a good hour. Number four, we're out of here. Give me the vin.com. see you next Saturday. For those who are losing. For those who are staying, we'll see you in a minute. Give me the vin.

[Announcer]

Givemethevin.com and now, senor juan, clay wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

And brother.

[J.D. Ryan]

I could name you a few.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm telling you, J.D. she's better looking now than she was I think. Better looking at 50 than she was at 30.

[Michael Turley]

I think it's because she was a news anchor before and they have to sort of get that news anchor thing that square.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, that's right.

[Michael Turley]

You know, I'm not real serious. I don't party. I don't have fun. Now she's sort out on her own. We're talking about Jane McGarry, who's now on Channel 8 in Dallas Fort Worth. Anyway, and now she's just sort of out free and she's. She's allowed to be sexy and so. And, you know, put on glittery dresses and hot pants. She looks hot. Really hot.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is sick crazy. And it's not. I don't look at her sexually.

[J.D. Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

I look at. You might, but I mean, I'm. I think that she's a pretty lady. And it just hit me. She looks like my mom.

[Michael Turley]

Yikes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Isn't that weird how that works?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, that's a little odd.

[John Clay Wolf]

But I mean, I think. Well, I mean, that's the first woman in your life that you're staring at all the time, and it burns an impression.

[J.D. Ryan]

You're just doing this because we're were still on in Oklahoma, man. No, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

You tell me. There's a picture of my mom.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, dude. Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Does she.

[Michael Turley]

That's kind of weird.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, I might just miss her. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why she catches my. She's been gone for 13 years. She died. She died at 58. Wow. Turley, have you ever seen my mom? She does. I mean, she doesn't look like Jamie Gary, but you kind of see what I'm talking about. I can see that, though.

[Bobo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Isn't that funny? Yeah. Oh, wow. And everybody in the listening area that we're on, right, is like, who the hell is Jay McGarry? And who the hell are we listening to anyway? Let's talk to Sam in Houston. Sam in Houston, good morning. You're on the air, sir. What's up, man? Yeah, man.

[Caller]

I was just trying to figure out if you're going to have that listener party down here in Houston.

[John Clay Wolf]

We are February 10th at it's Gals ESPN studio off of Alabama, right next to the Galleria. And it's going to be a. You know that. I'll tell you who's putting it together. The. The guy that used to manage Stevens and Pruitt.

[Michael Turley]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

Doug. And he contacted me a while back and he was talking about doing something improv and this and that. And then he came up with this. We just never done an in person in Houston, so we're going to do a. He's like, do you Want to do something under the radar and let's like, to test the water or go all out. I'm like, ah, hell, go out. You know, if it's not going to work, then it's not going to work.

[Michael Turley]

I think it will.

[John Clay Wolf]

But he said, I think it will, so we'll see. Sam, are you coming?

[Caller]

Yes, sir. I'll be there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good. We're going to be giving away T shirts to our listeners that say, average, rough or clean. Sell that or I'll give you 100 for last look. Right. Do you get the joke on the I'll give you 100 for last look? It's kind of like a. An innuendo towards a formal.

[Michael Turley]

No, I never got that.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, just.

[J.D. Ryan]

Now we're gonna have some great guests. The Eagles are gonna do an acoustic set. No, Clint Black and Mark Chestnut will be there.

[Michael Turley]

They're not.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is Beyonce gonna come in?

[J.D. Ryan]

Sam Kinison.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, Sam Kinison.

[Bobo]

Really?

[J.D. Ryan]

It's gonna be awesome.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, Sam, you heard it here first. The Eagles, Beyonce, Sam Kenison and Mark Chestnut and Clint Black.

[Michael Turley]

Man, what a show. I can't wait.

[Caller]

It was gonna be out for Alabama and where?

[John Clay Wolf]

Alabama. I'll give you the details. We'll put it on our website.

[J.D. Ryan]

Soon there will be a big search light. You can't miss it.

[Bobo]

At noon, it's going to be a big natty light truck sitting out front.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. I wonder if we're still on in Oklahoma. If they made the switch to hour number four. If they did it right this week, who knows? Good morning. You're on the air.

[Caller]

Hello.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hello.

[Caller]

Yes, you're on in Oklahoma City.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're on in Oklahoma City hour.

[J.D. Ryan]

We finally made it.

[John Clay Wolf]

They hated us when we started. They hated us when we started on that station. They hated us. They didn't want us. And now they're giving us another hour. And it's cuz of you guys.

[Caller]

I live in rural Oklahoma. I love you from the first minute I turned on.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, thank you, sir. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, Cali, I love the haters, man. The haters are what make the world go around.

[Michael Turley]

They always come back. You bet they always come back.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's not a hater, but yeah. Oh, my God. What? Every station we get on, it's always a fight, an argument, and they're, oh, my God, we're breaking format. Oh, my God. And then, what's wrong?

[J.D. Ryan]

I know.

[Michael Turley]

I love the ones that send the email. So I was listening at 9 o'.

[John Clay Wolf]

Clock.

[Michael Turley]

And then while I was still listening at 11 o', clock, I was still offended.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right. And the Dallas station that we're on.

[Michael Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is. And I'm not, you know that I don't think that we did this. But, but the problem with these stations is they're afraid we're going to screw their station up. Right. The Dallas station that we're on, 92.5has raised so much over the past year since we started that their rates went up 25%. Their number one flat footed in all formats, six plus in North Texas, the largest market in Texas. Well, Houston and Dallas is a little bit larger in population than we're number five, Dallas's or four.

[Michael Turley]

It depends on who you.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Anyway, the station went from like fifth place to first place. So I think it's safe to say we didn't do any damage, we didn't hurt them. And I noticed this when we were doing our contract because we buy these. Give me the VIN commercials.

[Michael Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

From these stations during the week and they rate increased. Me, I'm like, hang on, wait a second, hang on. These are the guys that were worried we were going to screw up the station and we're going to lose a bunch of money because your rates were going to decrease. But now. But you're going to charge me 25% more for being on the thing that I help build.

[Michael Turley]

Right? Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Interesting.

[Bobo]

Cluck Norris is mad in the background.

[John Clay Wolf]

Cluck Norris? Cluck Norris.

[Michael Turley]

He knows better. You don't treat him. You don't treat a man like that in the hood.

[John Clay Wolf]

Cluck Norris, have you ever had a situation like that?

[J.D. Ryan]

I'm going to tell you what happened last time. I was down in the hood talking to my hands and the boss man come and said the eggs was frozen. I said, let me take care of this. Went out hiding me. Kitty cat.

[Michael Turley]

Did you hire a kitty cat?

[J.D. Ryan]

You get a kitty cat cheap when it cold outside.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

Took him to the coop. Sit out there inside the gate. Every time one of those hens come out the coop, he look at it and go, wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like that. Really?

[J.D. Ryan]

You know how kitty cats, Rick? They like the mafia, right? When they look at you go round right. Hands go back inside, start laying again. And they didn't get out the coop until they laid the right kind of eggs. And that's what it means to be the king of the roosts.

[Michael Turley]

Gotcha.

[J.D. Ryan]

So that's because my name is Cluck Cluck and I come down here.

[Michael Turley]

No, no, no, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's enough of That I don't know if everybody knows who Cluck Norris is and how we got him, but he was in the news and we dropped him. It's just that simple. Did we have the news piece handy?

[Bobo]

Yep.

[Bob Floyd]

Here we go.

[John Clay Wolf]

On Norris street, he ruled the roost. He just acted like he just owned the block. He had it out for Beverly Thompson. He was scary. He seemed like he was. Would attack you. Well, he's been terrorizing the neighborhood across the street. This. This just was a mean character. He got Patrick Coleman, too.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

He had the biggest claws you would.

[J.D. Ryan]

Ever want to see.

[John Clay Wolf]

The rooster pecked him, attacked his grown son and scratched his wife Diane. She had to running.

[J.D. Ryan]

Run in the house real fast to try to get away from.

[John Clay Wolf]

But when he went after their dog Olivia, that was the last straw. She pecked him and she. And the dog screamed.

[J.D. Ryan]

And the dog ran up to me and turned over and the. The rooster was right at him.

[John Clay Wolf]

The rooster was taken by animal services now in the pen where they say he's been on his best behavior. The handsome fellow may be put up for adoption.

[Michael Turley]

For now, he's getting good care and a nickname.

[J.D. Ryan]

Clock Norris.

[John Clay Wolf]

A bad egg off Norris Street. Well, I'm glad he's in a safe.

[J.D. Ryan]

Place and the neighborhood is safe itself.

[John Clay Wolf]

So they adopted him, put him up for adoption, and Uncle Roy adopted him and brought him into the show. Give me the Ben family.

[J.D. Ryan]

I'm glad he did because that lady Diane, all I was doing, she had a shiny watch on her arm and I was gonna help her to keep that from all these C's walking around down on Norris Street. You were going to help because you know, you ghetto. You know somebody going to watch your timepiece. I'm trying to help.

[Michael Turley]

Thank you.

[J.D. Ryan]

And they. Little old, little bitty pretty. One little dog, right? He better look out, too.

[Michael Turley]

You're chasing the dog.

[J.D. Ryan]

I ain't having none of it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Cluck is a 0bs kind of guy.

[Michael Turley]

No kidding. Down to it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you. Click.

[J.D. Ryan]

My spirit spurring your ass.

[Michael Turley]

All right, all right.

[J.D. Ryan]

Say what one more time.

[Michael Turley]

We get it. We get it.

[John Clay Wolf]

What else is in the news, sir?

[Michael Turley]

We have. Speaking of drunks and crazy people, a drunk man arrested by cops in Wyoming this week says he'd actually traveled back in time from the year 2048 to warn civilization about the imminent arrival of aliens. He says he's actually traveled back in time from 2048. Brian Johnson was his name. Requested to speak to the president of the town where he landed. Cops said Johnson had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and blood alcohol readings that exceeded the limits. But the alleged time traveler had a perfect logical explanation as to why he was drunk. He said the aliens could only send him back if his body was filled with alcohol. He went on to say, natty light told tall boys are cool in the future as well.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, buddy.

[Michael Turley]

More crazy people. A passenger. Excuse me. A passenger on a delayed Ryanair flight from London apparently got fed up with waiting. You get on the ramp and you're tired away and you want to get out of the plane. Just ready to get off a plane. Well, he did. He opened up the emergency exit on New Year's Day and just stepped out onto the wing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, my God.

[Michael Turley]

The man said.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was just like, where was the plane at the. His time?

[Michael Turley]

The plane is actually was at the gate or like. No, it was on the. He was taxing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, shut up.

[Michael Turley]

No, he was taxiing in.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why did the guy do this?

[Michael Turley]

He was tired of waiting. He stood up and said, I'm tired of waiting on this plane. Opened the door, happened to be sitting in the emergency exit row. Open the door, and stepped out onto the wing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so what is the ramification of that?

[Michael Turley]

Where do you start?

[John Clay Wolf]

You broke a few rules.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, federal. Yeah. You go to federal. That's a federal case.

[John Clay Wolf]

Crime.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like, will they prosecute? Prosecute him? Yes.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, absolutely.

[John Clay Wolf]

You think he'll serve time for that?

[Michael Turley]

No, he probably won't because it's probably his first time opening a door in an airplane. He won't get to fly that airline anymore.

[John Clay Wolf]

What airline was it? Do we know?

[Michael Turley]

It was Ryan Air, actually. The man said it's.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

It's a.

[Michael Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a. I mean, is it like. Remember the Nantucket wings deal?

[Michael Turley]

No, no, no. Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Flip the door open.

[Michael Turley]

Ryanair is more like. It's a small airline in Europe.

[Bobo]

Okay.

[Michael Turley]

Kind of a commuter, but they fly 737s, so it's a big. Right. The man said actually he was just trying to shoot the gremlin who was trying to pry the engine cover so.

[John Clay Wolf]

He trips on acid.

[Michael Turley]

But that's the truth. It actually did happen, though. That's not the first time that's happened. The people open the emergency exits on the ground and try to get out. Crazy people do crazy stuff on airplanes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I can imagine if you're stuck, stuck, stuck, like, for hours, and you're.

[J.D. Ryan]

Just sitting there, oh, it's a beat down.

[Michael Turley]

You ever been stuck on a plane? Like, stuck, still stuck. Like, we're gonna sit here with the engines off for two Hours.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Michael Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's the worst feeling there was. I was leaving Intercontinental Airport one day, I had a little Beechcraft Bonanza and There was a 747. We're all. It's so funny because we're lined up on the taxiway and I. My little plane and all these big airliners and.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, you're right.

[John Clay Wolf]

The thunderstorm's coming. Oh, okay. And it's getting bad. We're stopped. And here comes the hail. So. And we're talking to the tower. Everybody's kind of talking to the town. I'm right behind the 747.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm like, hey, this is odd, but do y' all mind if I pull my airplane up underneath your wing to avoid the hail?

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And they, they'd let me.

[Michael Turley]

They let you pull up underneath the wing?

[Bobo]

That's actually pretty smart.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dude. The wing, JD Is the size of a monster house.

[Michael Turley]

I know. For some people don't know when you're sitting in the cockpit of an era of a 747, you're like being in a four story building. You're 40ft above the Runway at that point. Sit when it's on the ground.

[John Clay Wolf]

I sat there for an hour underneath his wing.

[J.D. Ryan]

Well, that ain't nothing, man. 40ft.

[John Clay Wolf]

The wind beneath my building.

[J.D. Ryan]

Dude, I would do that all the time. If I had a four story building where I live.

[Michael Turley]

That makes no sense at all.

[J.D. Ryan]

It'd be fun, man. Like, you're so tired by the heights.

[Aunt Fetterman]

Europe.

[John Clay Wolf]

JD Is. Yeah.

[Michael Turley]

What are we talking about?

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know. It's just Bobbo taking us down a dirt road. All right, but that, I mean, that's what Bob. Oh, he, he likes four wheel drive. He's, he's, he's a mudder. Yeah. He's a back roads kind of guy.

[J.D. Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

But you know, normally when you're back road, you've been drinking and you know, you make a wrong turn and that's what Bob.

[J.D. Ryan]

Well, I'm trying to get used to not drinking, you know.

[John Clay Wolf]

How's that going?

[Michael Turley]

How's it going?

[J.D. Ryan]

That's fine.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, quiet. I decided how to slow down.

[Michael Turley]

Okay, you're gonna slow down.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Because I used not to drink as much. I've always drank beer.

[Michael Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

I always got bottles of Miller Lite. Tall boys love them. And I'd get a sixer and I'd kill three, four of them, sometimes six of them. But now I've gotten into this grabbing niner of the fathead aluminum bottles with the big Spout twist off on the top.

[Michael Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And it goes a lot faster. First of all, they're very cold. And second of all, the beer comes out faster. So it just. You just take more of it.

[J.D. Ryan]

Easy to drink.

[John Clay Wolf]

And. And I get to about number six or seven, and I'm sure drunk. And I'm like, okay. You know, because I. In my head, I used to drink five or six. I'm all cool. But six of these. There's four more ounces per unit. And I'm over my. Where I feel comfortable.

[Michael Turley]

Over my luck limit.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. I feel like someone could take advantage of me. Right. So me too. And when you walk in the house, everybody looks at you, says you're drunk.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

So that, you know, before that never was the case. So I've. I've. I've.

[Michael Turley]

You're gonna.

[John Clay Wolf]

Last night, I got a can, a six pack of Miller, no Michelob Ultras, and the 10 ounce little skinny Red Bull can.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I knocked down six of those and same amount of time, and everything was fine. And I wasn't drunk. So I would say, there you go, Josh.

[Bob Floyd]

You can drink the big ones if you want. You just gotta cut that alcohol edge off a little bit, because at the end of the day, you're tired.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Bob Floyd]

You know, 20 ounces is gonna hit you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Bob Floyd]

You know, so you need to buy. Tell. Go to 711 and tell the guy you want some red Marlboro hundreds.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Bob Floyd]

Yeah. And smoke about five of those an hour.

[Michael Turley]

Stop it.

[Bob Floyd]

No. That'll keep you edgy, keep you awake. That way you can drive.

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Bob Floyd]

You can't ride a roller coaster.

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Michael Turley]

None of these things coming from the.

[Bob Floyd]

Devil go to the Renaissance fair that you should do. Drunk. Lick a lizard in the eye.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't want to get drunk. I don't want to get drunk. That's not what I want.

[Bob Floyd]

You're not looking at it right.

[Michael Turley]

How appropriate.

[John Clay Wolf]

I want to be an responsible consumer.

[Bob Floyd]

Drunk is a word that they use to try and control you. Look at Bobo.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[Bob Floyd]

Doesn't he look miserable?

[Michael Turley]

No, he doesn't.

[Bob Floyd]

Yeah, he does. Listen, I know Bobo now that.

[Michael Turley]

Now that he quit drinking, he's pretty happy.

[Bob Floyd]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Michael Turley]

He didn't quit. Are you telling us that he's lying?

[Bob Floyd]

Looks like he's pulling his hair out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Satan, what are you doing?

[Bob Floyd]

Find a lizard to look in the eye right now.

[John Clay Wolf]

Satan. That was an earlier reference of an iguana story that many of y' all missed, but you can get it off the podcast. That'll be posted about one o'.

[J.D. Ryan]

Clock.

[John Clay Wolf]

Satan. What? What is your drink in the evening?

[Bob Floyd]

Well, the only alcohol that I. I really will get behind comes in a black square bottle.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[J.D. Ryan]

What's that?

[Bob Floyd]

That's Jack Daniels. Well, John Daniels. When you've known him as long as. As I have.

[Michael Turley]

Always. He's your buddy. You were there when they made it.

[Bob Floyd]

I love it on ice.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And that will get me drunk. I don't want to get drunk.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah, it will, too.

[John Clay Wolf]

I know I don't want to get drunk.

[J.D. Ryan]

Wouldn't that be.

[John Clay Wolf]

Drunk's not good.

[Michael Turley]

Hey, I thought you quit drinking, baba.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have you got any.

[Michael Turley]

Did you quit?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, like Tuesday, I think I used to drink gin and tonics.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And people. People. The women in my life. I've had three serious relationships in my life, okay? And two of them were marriages, okay. And all three of them that I spent ample amount of times. Obviously. My current wife is my real one.

[Bob Floyd]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Love her. Everything's great.

[Michael Turley]

She's the one that's stuck.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, she's the one that stuck. She puts up with it. But they all say I get mean when I drink gin.

[Michael Turley]

Gin is a mean. I've heard that before.

[John Clay Wolf]

How can that make you mean?

[Michael Turley]

I don't know certain alcohols.

[J.D. Ryan]

Because it's made out of elderberries, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is that true?

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

You making stuff up.

[Michael Turley]

What is he making?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, it's true.

[J.D. Ryan]

It's true.

[John Clay Wolf]

What the hell's an elder What?

[J.D. Ryan]

Gin is unhealthy, man. It's like a hallucinogenic drug.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is it gin and tequila?

[J.D. Ryan]

Leave them alone, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right.

[J.D. Ryan]

You know, I don't know if it's.

[John Clay Wolf]

Elderberries, but I think you're right. I think it's something.

[J.D. Ryan]

It's made out of pine cones.

[Michael Turley]

It's not made out of pine cones.

[John Clay Wolf]

Gin is made out of elder beers.

[Michael Turley]

No, it's juice. Juniper berries.

[J.D. Ryan]

Juniper.

[Michael Turley]

Switch it up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sapphire and tonic, two limes.

[J.D. Ryan]

Tanker.

[John Clay Wolf]

Perfect. Perfect. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio.

[J.D. Ryan]

I'm really enjoying the alcohol segment that we're doing, man. It's pretty hip.

[John Clay Wolf]

What? What? Do you have any more to add?

[J.D. Ryan]

No, not at all. I mean, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

So you quit. You quit drinking? Drinking wine.

[J.D. Ryan]

I quit drinking whiskey.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah. You start drinking wine, give it a red wine only. And I bought much smaller glasses, same.

[John Clay Wolf]

Concept as I'm talking, right?

[J.D. Ryan]

And I can drink like 40 of them, you know, and still be okay.

[Michael Turley]

I know. Sure you are. That's why you fell and broke your head open.

[J.D. Ryan]

I did.

[Bob Floyd]

Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

You did that whiskey man. It was just, you know, I didn't really quit as much as finish early.

[Michael Turley]

I see. I think Mark.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, when we get back, I want to talk about. We'll share with the listeners, okay. The. The sell side of things on these cars.

[Bob Floyd]

All right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And the arbitration policies and processes that we've been going through. It is so funny. It is. Arbitration means I sell it to a dealer in the auction land and they want to turn it down for one reason. There's a set of rules that are in aaa, national auto auction association and you have to read by the rules and inspect by the rules in the crap that they come up with to try to get out of the bids that they made. I mean, it's comedy. It's incredible to be able to kick.

[Michael Turley]

The car back to you and say I don't want to buy it because it's got blah, blah.

[John Clay Wolf]

You wouldn't believe the BS. We'll be back in a minute.

[Announcer]

GiveMeTheVin.com presents the John Clay Wolf show. We'll be right back after this.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

GiveMeTheEven.com has had so much success the past two years. You've got to read the reviews online. They've made it better license plate numbers. All you have to [e-mail] is enter your 6 digit license plate number and their system will immediately issue a price right there. If they don't beat carmax's offer, they owe you 100 bucks. Give me the vin.com. they've completely changed the car business.

[J.D. Ryan]

Give me the vin.Com so easy you can do it in your eyes. He very convincingly states that he really likes an employee while he's firing his ass during the second day of work, he's been known to frequent the funerals of rich millionaires that he's never met. Because fresh wealthy widows make beautiful lovers. The best thing about closing a multi million dollar business deal on the west coast, seeing the whataburger sign upon arrival at dfw. He is the world's biggest son of a. Hey, man, I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a.

[John Clay Wolf]

Natty like tall boy.

[J.D. Ryan]

Yeah, buddy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah.

[GiveMeTheVin.com Announcer]

We're back.

[Announcer]

Back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call in 800-800-RADIO.

[John Clay Wolf]

Love listening to Y'. ALL.

[Announcer]

Present it by givemethevin.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

So what I was talking about on the arbitration stuff, we sell the cars at the auctions, okay. And Dallas auto auction. Be specific. And now that we're with manhunt, people are logging in all over the country, right? Literally. I mean, a lot of cars are going to Los Angeles, Florida, New York. I mean, crazy scatter plot. But the N. AAA rules, the national autos Auction association, they have a tweak in their system for simulcast users. That's the people that buy digitally online. Okay.

[Michael Turley]

People that watched you on television or whatever.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, well, they're watching. They're watching the car sell in the ring, and they're pushing a bid button and they outbid the people on the floor and they buy it.

[Michael Turley]

Got it.

[John Clay Wolf]

You have 10 days to receive the car to your location, and yet to prove it with a shipping slip, which anybody can make, and you have two days after that to arbitrate it for any problems that it could have. So we get calls, you know, 10 days, 11 days out, almost two weeks out after we sold the damn thing. Hey, it's going boom, boom, boom. When it's supposed to go zoom, zoom, zoom.

[Michael Turley]

Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

And what they know is they've got. Because if you. If the car is a fail, then you have to pay for their transportation to Miami, Florida, and then bring it back. So there's a thousand bucks right there. So they know they've got you for a thousand if they can find anything within the rules.

[Michael Turley]

So they'd rather bring.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. They wouldn't rather bring it back. They'd rather bust your chops and squeeze another nickel or a dime at it. Because worst case scenario, this is going to cost you a thousand dollars in transport.

[Michael Turley]

Gotcha.

[John Clay Wolf]

So all these. All these alibabas are calling in. Oh, it's got a of piece, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you know, just give him 500 people. Shut up. That's really. You haven't even seen these communications, have you, Charlie?

[Bobo]

No, but I. I can hear that hustle.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh.

[Michael Turley]

So, yeah, but there's no stop or no stop gap here. Nobody can go, hey, they have to.

[John Clay Wolf]

Take it to a Manheim location near them for a re. Inspection. But they have time to screw it up.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, they have time to actually do something.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Oh, it's a whole. It's ridiculous.

[Bobo]

They can tighten that up.

[Michael Turley]

You do this.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's pretty loose. Yeah, it's pretty loose.

[Michael Turley]

But if you do this all the time, it's like taking some back to Walmart. They. They mark your name.

[John Clay Wolf]

There's no question they mark your name. Yeah, and they do see it, but they do this thing called a psi, which is a post sale inspection. And these guys aren't even ordering the psis because they know they get a free one at the end, they have all the time in the world to do whatever the hell they want.

[Michael Turley]

That's got to be tightened up.

[John Clay Wolf]

But I could say that the auctions that we work with has really impressed me with their level of not just laying down, but. But that stuff on the east coast or the west coast. I mean, it's so far away. You're like, golly. I mean, you know. Well, the supercharger is definitely working, but there seems to be something out of adjustment. And on this Cadillac ctsv, and the only way to really verify is we have to take it to a Cadillac dealer. Right. Then you're screwed. Yeah, you're right, because anything over 500 bucks that they find is arbitratable. Anything.

[Michael Turley]

Anything.

[John Clay Wolf]

So I'm just like, okay. He said. He said he thinks fifteen hundred dollars will. Will make him not worry about it.

[Michael Turley]

Fix it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And I'm like, scam. So what I've started doing is say, hey, I'll give you 500, and then I'll give you the other 500 when you buy. I'll do it in 250s. When you buy every more car you buy. Oh, now what are you offering? I'll give you 500 to shut you up. And every. Every car you buy from us going forward, I'll pay you 250 towards this 1500 that you claim you need. They've been taking it.

[Michael Turley]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bob Floyd]

Long run.

[John Clay Wolf]

Every.

[Michael Turley]

Well, you don't win.

[John Clay Wolf]

But if they get in on. So if they're at our lane and they want to redeem their gift card, they're sitting there, bitten their butt off. And, you know, I think the net effect will be the cards will probably cover it.

[Michael Turley]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

With him pushing the bid button. I hope that's my hustle.

[Bob Floyd]

Well, that's.

[Michael Turley]

That's how gift cards work, actually. They get you in there and you go, oh, well, I'm already here.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm already here.

[Michael Turley]

I'm gonna buy a couple more things I don't need.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right? Yeah, but you can't. You wait till you get those four more cars out there, and they say, oh, well, this one needs that, and.

[Michael Turley]

That one needs this continues.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, dude.

[Aunt Fetterman]

But.

[John Clay Wolf]

But, I mean, you know, there are used cars, and when you're selling 07 Porsche Cayennes with 80, 000 miles on them and they go to New Jersey, you think they're gonna be able to find something wrong with it? This cost 500. Hell, the windshield cost 500. The tail light cost 500.

[Michael Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Anything the emblem costs 500. The oil change costs 600. I mean, it's like. Yeah. I mean, you're gonna lose. It's just part of the business.

[Michael Turley]

What's the. What's the coolest car over the. Looking over back over the last year that you bought. That's in your mind, like the winner of the year. I don't mean the one you made the most money on. I just mean the coolest car.

[John Clay Wolf]

The coolest car was definitely a Ferrari F12 Berlinetta. And it was. I bought it off of a man in Baton Rouge. It was the most expensive. No, actually, that Lamborghini that's running it down this week is the most expensive. It's $380,000. Yeah. It's a 1616 Aventador with a 480 list, and it'll be going through or Lane Dallas auto auction on Wednesday. So that's the coolest one.

[Michael Turley]

That is awesome.

[John Clay Wolf]

That is the coolest one. But. But this Ferrari was the nicest one. You know, there's a difference between Ferrari guy and Lamborghini guy. Lamborghini guy has tattoos. He's got a construction company. He's got a stripper girlfriend. He's just a different dude.

[Michael Turley]

Rough money.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Yeah. But real money, but rough for money. And more like motorcycle guy and Ferrari guy is very nerdy.com or he's a wealthy old man. Completely different ride sound. The deal with the Ferraris is they sound so freaking good.

[Michael Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

When you're driving them.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolf]

That. You just want to go fast. You can hear it hum.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

The Lambos are nasty. They're angry. They're angry vehicles.

[Michael Turley]

Kind of a bite.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, and they ride rough and like a viper. A viper is an angry car.

[Michael Turley]

What is the car that you have to have owned one to be able to buy a new one. What is Ferraris? Is it Ferrari you have if you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Want to go buy a new one? If you got a Ferrari, Dallas, and you want to go buy a new Ferrari, they'll tell you. Unless it's a California, they'll sell you the ones they can't get rid of.

[Bobo]

But.

[John Clay Wolf]

Or a ff. Well, they quit making those. But the. The. The cheap one Italias. The. Not even. Yeah. Cheaper ones. The italias. The. The 450 is the Berlinez. All the good stuff. You have to be on a list. You have to be a customer. You have to have owned a Ferrari. So you have to start with a Ferrari starter kit, and you have to register that Ferrari as a Ferrari owner. So when you go to Buy a new one that you've already proven yourself as a worthwhile person to be in the brand.

[Michael Turley]

Point of that.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's ridiculously incredible. Marketing is what it is. And what it does is it holds the residual values to the moon.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, of course. There you go.

[John Clay Wolf]

I get it. That makes sense because, okay, you can't buy a new one, but I have an 800. And these cars, also, these Lambos and Ferraris and super exotics, they never have any miles on you. You go to Lambert, Lamborghini, Dallas, go to the Ferrari store, go to any of these cars websites and take. Double click the VIN number and throw it into Carfax and read the owner history. You'll have 2,000 miles in eight. Owners, sometimes they just.

[Michael Turley]

They get them, buy them and park them.

[John Clay Wolf]

They get them and they drive them for a minute and they're like.

[Michael Turley]

They're like trading cards.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. I want to do something different.

[Bob Floyd]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's the damnedest thing. But the. The Ferraris, the value. Remember how Harley's were? You had to pay over stickers. And Ferraris are like that. They're over sticker cars. So the used car, if you buy a new Ferrari and trade it in within a year, maybe it's two years. I know it's within a year. They will refund all of your money on trade.

[J.D. Ryan]

All of it?

[John Clay Wolf]

All of it. All of it.

[Michael Turley]

Well, that make any sense?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, it does. Because the users bring sticker.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. It's the damnedest thing. No, that's why they do it. They're smart. Stanley Marcus would have been proud of them.

[Michael Turley]

There was a. There's a list of. That comes out every year of the most expensive cars that have been sold on ebay. This year, the Rolls Royce, a 2015 Rolls Royce, is it Wraith?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yep.

[Michael Turley]

Was sold. That's the top winner this year. $274,000 on eBay. I would have.

[John Clay Wolf]

I would have. I would figure more.

[Michael Turley]

Your car was more than. Yeah. Your vehicle was more than that.

[John Clay Wolf]

That shows you that ebay ain't nothing anymore.

[Bobo]

Not anymore. No.

[Michael Turley]

2006 Ford GT went for $240,000.

[John Clay Wolf]

And that is a good car, the GT. Yeah.

[Michael Turley]

These came out. They were over sticker.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. They're like 100. They're about 115 sticker. I was a Ford dealer. We got one and now. No, no, they're more than that. They're half a million on the right one.

[Michael Turley]

That's crazy money.

[John Clay Wolf]

They're high.

[Michael Turley]

That's fun.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've got a friend that Is a. He's a junkie when it comes to these fancy cars. I don't know if you met him. I'm not gonna say his name, but it's the damnedest thing. So he went and he. He bought a Bentley Ventaga, which is the new SUV. Okay, 175,000. He beat him down, too. But, I mean.

[Bob Floyd]

And he.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was like, how do you like it? He's like, I like it so much. He bought another one for my wife.

[Bob Floyd]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's not that rich.

[Michael Turley]

Wow. Well, he is. If he can go blow 175 in a car.

[John Clay Wolf]

He just got great credit and a good job and make payments. And he's figured this deal out where he can drive these heavy cars, and if he trades them quick enough, he doesn't really get hurt. He's good at what he does. He's sitting there running an air bubble, and he can maintain the credit and the payments and all that.

[Bob Floyd]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

But he's smart enough at what he's doing that he's getting in and out of these supercars. And he's really. I mean, he's not making money.

[Michael Turley]

No. But he's not getting hit.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ah, nah.

[Michael Turley]

Not getting hit.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like, it might be costing 10,000 a year.

[Michael Turley]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

To have cars like that, you get hit that.

[Michael Turley]

That hard on the jack wire.

[John Clay Wolf]

You get hit that hard on a BMW 750, you get a hit harder than that on a new Mercedes Benz.

[Bobo]

So anyway, you gotta be a good driver. You can't wreck it. I mean, you gotta.

[John Clay Wolf]

You gotta know the market and know what sells and be a good negotiator.

[Michael Turley]

Just some of these cars, a 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 429 went for 210.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't really know that market. I don't know the market on classic cars that well. I just don't have enough bandwidth in my head available. I just had a guy send me an email bitching about a 92 vet that we offered him. Not enough for, and he's sold it for more. And you guys suck. Okay, well, it's a 92. No, an 82 vet. Wait, 92 vet. It's not a popular body style right now. It's not a big deal. A good mile one goes to the ring for five to seven grand. Nobody cares.

[J.D. Ryan]

So would you rather have a you suck or. Or, like, lose five grand on it?

[John Clay Wolf]

I'd rather you suck.

[J.D. Ryan]

Me too.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll be right back.

[Announcer]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this, presented by givemethevin.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give me the VIN.

[Announcer]

Givemethebin.com and now, Senor Juan Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm a high straight and plain view. A side bet night, Lou.

[Michael Turley]

And a fresh back in the field.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, some call me high and some. You know, I know we're gonna have free beer at our. At our listener party.

[Michael Turley]

Free.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Oh, that's what. We have to hire a couple of police officers, too, because we're giving away beer, I guess.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

[Bobo]

This is in Houston, right?

[Aunt Fetterman]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, we're in Texas. We should give away margaritas, too. I mean, if you're gonna be a.

[Bobo]

Bear Hard liquors kind of Saturday.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, we're in Texas.

[Michael Turley]

Margaritas.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're close to the border, Judy. We're not that.

[Michael Turley]

You just hire more cops.

[John Clay Wolf]

Expensive.

[Bobo]

Could make some news, but I don't know if you want that kind of news.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm not paying for it. You think I'm paying for it? I ain't paying for nothing. 800-800-7 2, 3, 4. I'll pay for your cars. I'll buy your cars if you send me your car. Go to 800-800-Radio. 800-800-7234. Or just go to giveme thevin.com. abilene, Texas. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Louisiana. Austin, Texas. San Antonio. If we do it in San Antonio, we've got to have margaritas.

[Michael Turley]

Oh, hell, yeah. On the river. On the Riverwalk.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's next.

[Michael Turley]

You know, that'd be so much fun.

[John Clay Wolf]

One day I want to do this listener party thing, and I want to hit all of our cities, like, boom, boom, boom. And I want. This is stupid.

[Michael Turley]

What?

[John Clay Wolf]

But I want to, like, charter, and they have one over at Addison, an old convair that Lynyrd Skinner died in.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And take that plane and we'll bounce city to city to city. And remember, we need to do it on, like, a Lynyrd Skynyrd anniversary.

[Michael Turley]

You want to fly between these cities?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And do listener parties in each city.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And fly in the same bird that Leonard Skinner had. I mean, not the exact. Destroyed.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, they crashed.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think it'd be fun.

[Michael Turley]

It would be fun. I didn't know. I thought you're. Maybe you're talking tour bus.

[John Clay Wolf]

The free boat. The Free Bird Tour.

[Michael Turley]

The Free Bird Tour.

[John Clay Wolf]

But it's free beer.

[Michael Turley]

Free beer. Free bird.

[John Clay Wolf]

Free beers and free birds. I love it. Free love, free fun. Everything's free. Nothing's free.

[Michael Turley]

Nothing's free in this world.

[John Clay Wolf]

Except National Geographic. JD can hold that with one Hand.

[Michael Turley]

I don't know what you're talking about. When the year changes like this and goes to like 18, does that affect the auto market? You think that'd be a mental stumbling block for people. Like when it hits 100,000 versus 97,000, it makes a difference in people's minds. It's a mental thing.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's so funny is these old the body styles, like in Ford truck from 04 to what year did they change it? 04 to 09, it's the same truck. I mean, the same truck. They just change VIN number, tick Dodge. I mean, this is the same thing. 07 Cadillac Escalade to 14. Same car, seven years. No. Yeah, same car. And I don't mean kind of the.

[Michael Turley]

Same car, the exact same.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, all the parts, all the parts are interchangeable. So the way to beat it is get the first year of the new body style. And then you look good all those years looking like you've got the good thing until he got. And then when you get to the end of it, you still have the one that looks like the new one and it's worth more. Okay. That's the way you beat the system. That's the only way to beat the system. The way to get screwed by the system is by the last year of that body style. Because a few years after that, then they all look the same and everybody realizes they're all the same. The 07 to the 2011, they're all worth the same money. Escalades, Tahoes, all that stuff. I mean, what's the difference between 08 Tahoe and a 13 Tahoe? Nothing.

[Michael Turley]

Nothing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Absolutely zero. Nothing. And if you've got one with 60,000 miles, the 14 is still worth more, but not nearly in the. In the exponential that it would be if the body style hadn't timed out.

[Michael Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's all about body style.

[Michael Turley]

Simple enough.

[John Clay Wolf]

What other questions you have, J.D.

[Michael Turley]

Let me see, what else happened this year? Well, they say actually in the auto sales industry this year, overall, once the smoke cleared and everything changed down a little bit, 1.8%, which is basically flat. Let's see, what is the number one selling vehicle? Not car, not truck, but vehicle this year in America?

[John Clay Wolf]

Nissan.

[Michael Turley]

No, actually, it was the Ford F150 truck, number one best selling vehicle. And the Camry was the number one selling car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on, I'm sorry, You're right. That's the number one selling vehicle. The Nissan is. The Altima is the number one produced vehicle, but they don't sell enough of them. And that's why they have 10,000 of them parked in a field brand new in Dallas, Texas.

[Michael Turley]

10,000 of them.

[John Clay Wolf]

10,000 of them?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

10,000 of them. Whoa, whoa.

[Michael Turley]

Who's gonna buy those?

[John Clay Wolf]

This is what Chrysler used to do, too. They would build what they call a bank. So they want to hit their numbers as a factory, and they just keep building cars that dealers haven't ordered. And then they start rebating them and rebating them and rebating and into your money. And they made it where Nissan dealers can't make any money because there's so many of them. They're so aggressive on their pricing that it just. But. And that's a good deal for the buyer. But it's a terrible deal for the buyer because when they trade it in, it's worth nothing. When we get Altimas now, I mean, it's like, what do you want? I mean, what's a 14 to an 07? It's all the same. They're four grand. They're everywhere. It's like a 96 Taurus. It was overproduced or worth nothing. If you see a 96 Taurus come through the auction lane, it brings $300.

[Michael Turley]

Jeez.

[Bobo]

That's what the Ultimas are.

[Michael Turley]

Now those are the people that get really mad because. Oh, well, I've kept. This thing is in perfect shape. It'll run 100,000.

[John Clay Wolf]

This thing cost 24,000. No, it didn't. The sticker was 24,000. You gave 14.

[Bobo]

And they're buried in most. That's the biggest car that we see.

[John Clay Wolf]

Nissan. Nissan. Because they can hold all the negative equity on the trade ins, on all these rebates because the bank finances off of the invoice price.

[Michael Turley]

Gotcha. Oh, okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. It's just a big old shell game, and Nissan is the king of it at this point. It used to be Chrysler and Kia and Hyundai are a little bit like it. But. But the Nissan deal is. Is weird.

[Michael Turley]

I'm just. I'm looking here. They have the biggest winners and losers of the year. Believe it. Audi was the one of the biggest winners, up 7.8%. Who else did you say?

[John Clay Wolf]

Audi is the new BMW because they've gotten so aggressive with their leases.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

That they're screwing up their residuals now. Now they're coming up. BMW is a new. Next to new BMWs, and next to Nick, I think they're the worst depreciating luxury car in the market right now. BMW.

[Bob Floyd]

BMW.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really? Yeah.

[Michael Turley]

750 Jaguars.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Ninety thousand dollar list. You lease it. They're everywhere. And I mean, you know, when they go to trade them in, they're worth 45 grand. People want to come to the phone and kill you.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah, really. Because you don't have any idea what I paid for this. You're crazy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Diesel trucks are the best investment if you're trying to beat the depreciation game, there's no question about it. And good sports cars, like the bigger the motor and the sexier the hot rod. The Laguna Seca Mustang or the California Special. Mustang or the. When you're going after sports cars, you get the biggest and the baddest and you. It holds better. It's a debutante of that pack in diesel trucks. Cadillacs, luxury cars, man, they fall big fat luxury cars, they fall so hard, it's scary. When I get. When you know, one comes in the queue and it's 2017, you know you're gonna get screamed at. The first thing I do is ask them if I'll go get another offer somewhere else so that, so that we can talk about market.

[Bob Floyd]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Here's the market. I don't want to tell them what the market is because they're gonna be nothing but pissed off cars worth 40 grand. They're pay off 62. And I'm the jerk.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't want to be the jerk. I like being. I like making friends.

[Michael Turley]

But as far as drive vehicles you can drive on a daily basis. An F250, a diesel.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean it matters who you are, but it's pretty big. Yeah. F250. Diesel.

[Michael Turley]

Diesel.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna go good. I'm gonna go Dodge. Dodge Cummins.

[Bob Floyd]

Really?

[Randy the Chipmunk]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you drive the miles out of them, if you listen to this show and listen to me bid these trucks and cars, the ones that should surprise you the Most is the 180,000 mile Dodge truck. Well, a guy called in a minute ago with an 010116 year old old, old old ass body style with 50,000 miles on it. I offered him 17,500.

[Michael Turley]

That's amazing.

[Bobo]

It's a lot of money, but that motor keeps going.

[Michael Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

If it was an 01 Duramax with 50,000 miles, I'd have offered him 10.

[Michael Turley]

Jeez.

[John Clay Wolf]

If it was an 01 F257 3, which is the good motor, I'd have offered him 14. Still not as much of the Dodge.

[Michael Turley]

But still a lot of.

[John Clay Wolf]

And if it was an 03 Ford F250 with the 6L, I'd offered him 8, 9. Dang 10.

[Michael Turley]

So it's not just diesel, it's the right diesel.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, Dodge is the right diesel. Duramax is pretty good too. So. Man, we're getting car geeked out. I hope. I like people that say we don't talk enough cars. We are keep peeling out of me. It's all in my head. Yeah, the, the, the convertibles. I don't know why convertibles. You would think they, they bring more money than hard tops. They don't really. Especially in sports cars. Even like a Porsche 911, the cab is worth less money than a hard top in the right car.

[Michael Turley]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, it's. It's really crazy.

[Michael Turley]

I. I just think they're sexier. But.

[John Clay Wolf]

And if you get a convertible vet or convertible 911 right with a stick in it, it's worth three grand less. What? Because your girlfriend can't drive it. Oh, and that's a girl's car.

[Michael Turley]

But a stick. But if you stick. But if I get a convertible, the automatic we're good.

[John Clay Wolf]

But the colors are even more sensitive on the convertibles because women are pickier. Your shoppers and pick your people. And the convertibles are all about the girls. Yeah.

[J.D. Ryan]

Oh sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

So you got to get the right color. You got to get the thing that she can drive comfortably and not have to be calling you all day and say where's this button and how do you do this and how do you do it? Just the designers of luxe convertibles just need to be. Just take women and take their opinions and because the guy that buys them, he loves them, but he fixes gallon.

[Michael Turley]

And don't put your hot chicken and convertible by the way, because that's just screams I'm free. It does.

[John Clay Wolf]

Jeep Wrangler 4 doors are worth a lot more than Jeep Wrangler 2 doors. Rubicons are worth a lot more than non Rubicons. It's just, you know, big SS Camaros make a big difference. The Z ZL1 vets. And the just the bigger the brand, the higher the notch, the better you are on depreciation. Okay, that's all the geeked out car stuff. See y' all next Saturday. Remember, the podcast will be up about 1 o'. Clock. GiveMeTheEven.com is where we'll buy your car. And my name is John Claywolf. J.D. ryan Bobbo and Michael Turley. And we will see you next Saturday morning. Thanks again, guys. I'm out.

[J.D. Ryan]

Back to the money.

[John Clay Wolf]

Time is money.

[J.D. Ryan]

Let's get it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sam.