The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #133, February 13, 2026

Overview

Episode #133 of The John Clay Wolfe Show centers around the show’s signature blend of car talk, offbeat humor, and freewheeling conversation about life, sports, and culture – all with a cast of colorful regulars and callers. This episode revolves around spirited car-buying live on-air, tales of Texas towns, relationship follies, hiring stories, Super Bowl predictions, and prepping for the show's upcoming 1,000th episode listener party in Houston.

Main Themes and Tone

• Cars, Comedy, and Caller Banter: The main arc follows real-time bids for listeners’ vehicles, peppered with irreverent jokes and the hosts’ signature, Southern-tinted wit.
• Celebrating a Milestone: The crew is ramping up for their big 1,000th show, teasing listener parties and special giveaways.
• Workplace Antics: Stories about unusual coworkers and unique hiring practices as GiveMeTheVIN.com expands.
• Relationship Mishaps: On-air therapy as Turley recounts his breakup with a (former) convict girlfriend.
• Sports and Super Bowl Hype: Predictions, wisecracks, and caller engagement about the big game.
• Diversity and Social Satire: A playful (sometimes pointed) look at team demographics, local flavors, and the cross-cultural makeup of the staff.
• Entertainers, Characters & Parodies: Regular sketches and in-character bits from “Cluck Norris” the rooster to “Satan” and spoof celebrity call-ins punctuate the episode.

Tone: Loose, ribald, friendly, and at times intentionally outrageous.

Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Opening Banter & Car Buying Calls

• The show opens with a car-buying negotiation involving an on-air caller wanting to sell his 2015 Jeep.

  • Wolfe jokes about “Frisconians” (people from Frisco, TX) not being real Texans.
  • Quote:
    “You Frisconians, y’all are all imports, inbred imports down here from Michigan and California. Coming to Texas and thinking you’re like, living in the real Texas, but you’re, like, living in the fake Texas.”
    — John Clay Wolfe, 03:40

• Caller banter about old Texas cities, with tongue-in-cheek jabs about local reputations.

• Quick transactional format: listeners call in, describe their car, and receive rapid-fire ballpark bids; Wolfe often veers into comedy before getting to the price.

2. On Sobriety, AA, and Real Talk

• J.D. is celebrated for nine years of sobriety, which devolves into jokes about AA medallions and comparing them to “a punch card at Subway” (01:51).
• “Like every girl that you get to sleep with, you put another notch on it.” — John Clay Wolfe, 01:51

3. Promo Energy & Listener Party Details

• Heavy promotion for the upcoming 1,000th broadcast listener party in Houston (Galleria area, February 10th), with T-shirt giveaways emphasized throughout.
  • Info and RSVP process via johnclaywolf.com: first 100 who reserve get a free shirt (08:52, 53:03, 108:21).

4. Relationship and Redemptive Comedy

• Turley’s Relationship with a Convict: In a recurring segment, Michael Turley reveals he just broke up with his “very nice” girlfriend, who was on parole for fraud (making fake IDs).
  • “We just can’t seem to see each other. And she just started classes at the community college. … She’s a very nice girl.”
    — Michael Turley, 102:23, 104:09
  • Bobbo calls it a “golden opportunity” that Turley dodged catastrophe.
  • Bits about “Convict Dating Game” ideas and parole/probation differences.
  • “Dude, you got to visit with the spider, but you didn’t end up in the web.” — Bobbo, 104:57

5. Sports, Super Bowl & Philly Fan Faction

• Dialogue with Jason, the New Jersey “Philly Fan” on staff, about wearing Eagles gear in Dallas, fan culture clashes, and sports rivalries.
  • “So we brought in a guy from Philly. … Every day he wears his Eagles hat and his Eagles jacket.”
    — John Clay Wolfe, 35:38
  • Arguments about Eagles vs. Cowboys, office dynamics, and the Super Bowl line.
  • Caller/character debates about prop bets and bad blood between Philly and Dallas fans, including humorous takes on beer-throwing and battery-hurling traditions (37:42).
  • “Y’all do your deal. Oh, pulley. We won’t see him no more.” — Michael Turley, 57:37

6. Diversity in the Car Biz & Office Hiring

• Discussion on matching buyers and sellers by demographics and language, riffing on the success of “diverse” staff.
  • “You match them and they have better success, because they speak each other's language.”
    — John Clay Wolfe, 35:20
• Call-in from Norman, GiveMeTheVIN’s own New York Puerto Rican driver, who tells stories of being “broken in” down South, out in a field snipe-hunting and drinking Rolling Rock (50:14).
• Extended job ad segments: GiveMeTheVIN is hiring car buyers, drivers, and mechanics — only fast typists need apply! (47:31, 68:04)

7. “White, Black, Latino or Other” Segment

• DJ Pre-K presents the day’s “guess-the-ethnicity-of-the-news-perp” story: a man in New Hampshire tries to bite a police dog, and hosts guess his ethnicity, debating stereotypes and ribbing each other before it’s revealed the suspect is Asian (“Brandon Chan,” 45:35).
  • Memorable riff:
    “If you can’t get schnauzer, use dachshund.” — John Clay Wolfe/Bobbo/Asian character, 44:50

8. Comic Sketches, Characters, and Parody

• Cluck Norris the Rooster: A recurring bit about a rooster mourning the “death” of Big Mama, a beloved Houston family chicken with her own obituary (79:07).
  • “If you want to see a rooster cry his eyes out, look elsewhere. Because my name is Cluck.” — Michael Turley as Cluck Norris, 80:14
• Rush Limbaugh Parody: A spoof call-in from “Rush” lampoons right-wing talk radio, the Clinton/Trump “tail” rumor mill, and the effects of synthetic THC (94:27, 143:22).
• Devil/Satan Bit: Satan calls in to gloat about his “grip” on Rush’s soul (147:10–147:48).
• Hannah’s Minnesotan Accent: Prepping for the Super Bowl, Hannah rehearses Midwestern speech patterns, blending strip-club humor with football fandom (62:57, 144:54).

9. Listener Testimonials and Showcase Calls

• A listener shares a glowing story selling a car to the GiveMeTheVIN team, giving a live testimonial on their honesty and diversity (86:42–89:16).
  • “You do what you say and you say what you do.” — Caller Dana, 88:42
• Other calls include sales of classic/vintage cars (66 Cuda, 91:09), hot rod Benzes, and “junkers.”
• Memorable negotiation with a caller over a Malibu: “I hit you at seven [grand]. I hit you right? I hit you hard. And I don’t like to hit a lady. … Unless she fights back.” — John Clay Wolfe, 117:04

10. Economy, Wages, and Side Tangents

• Spirited discussion of how store managers at In-N-Out make $160K/year in California (124:31–125:08), contrasted with drive-thru starting wages in TX.
• Oilfield Jobs: Listeners call from Midland, TX to talk about $100K a year oilfield gigs and the economic upturn (133:09).
• Immigrant Stories: A first-generation Mexican immigrant shares his journey and opinions about the US border wall and the will of immigrants (119:44–121:36).
  • “You can’t stop the will of a human.” — Caller Caesar, 120:14

Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• “You Frisconians, y’all are all imports … thinking you’re, like, living in the real Texas, but you’re, like, living in the fake Texas.”
  — John Clay Wolfe, 03:40

• “Like every girl that you get to sleep with, you put another notch on it.”
  — John Clay Wolfe, 01:51

• “They're going to burn H down to the ground. Sunday, Sunday, Saturday, Saturday.”
  — Michael Turley (promoting listener party), 15:08

• “Dude, you got to visit with the spider, but you didn’t end up in the web.”
  — Bobbo to Turley, on dodging a breakup disaster, 104:57

• “The whole rodeo arena—they had a gathering.”
  — John Clay Wolfe, referring to a Klan meeting in Bowie, 17:03

• “It’s all about jewelry and shoes.”
  — Tony Carbone (mob stereotype satire), 56:53

• “Saute. … schnauzer, oyster sauce … brown sugar, schnauzer, oyster sauce.”
  — Fake Asian accenter on how to cook schnauzer, 44:46

• “If you can't type, don't apply. The sign says long haired freaky people are welcome. But if you cannot type, don't apply.”
  — John Clay Wolfe, on job requirements, 47:57

• “White, black, Latino or other?” — Recurring segment, (41:12+)

• “If you want to see a rooster cry his eyes out, look elsewhere. Because my name is Cluck.”
  — Cluck Norris, 80:14

• “If they don’t beat CarMax’s offer, we owe you $100 bucks.”
  — Show’s standing deal, various (e.g., 10:03, 38:13, etc.)

• “I think that devil’s kinda hot. … They say once you go red, you never go back.”
  — Hannah, about Satan, 148:13–148:19

Listener Services & Show Info

How to Sell a Car on Air:

• Call 800-800-RADIO; be ready with year/model/mileage/condition.
• Or use givemethevin.com (now with license plate lookup, no full VIN needed).

Listener Party Details:

• Date: February 10th
• Location: Near the Galleria, Houston (Alabama & Rice, by ESPNGAL Studios, see website)
• Perks: Free beer, free food, first 100 T-shirt reservations free
• RSVP: johnclaywolf.com (no “contest” required anymore!)

Hiring at GiveMeTheVIN.com:

• Buyers, drivers, office help wanted; fast typing and computer skills mandatory.

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

• The John Clay Wolfe Show, at its core, is a Texas/Southwest car buying party with a manic-family vibe. Calls can turn from business to stand-up at the drop of a hat.
• The show's strength is in the chemistry among hosts and the self-deprecating, anything-goes humor with a clear loyalty to listeners — as demonstrated by live car quotes, open invites, and honest talk about work, sobriety, and relationships.
• This episode’s highlights are the wild stories (convict ex-girlfriend, wild animal-cooking jokes), ongoing office and family banter, Super Bowl fever, and plans for a landmark 1,000th show.
• The recurring invitation: buy or sell a car with them, join the party, or even join the team.

Useful Timestamps for Skimming:

• 03:40: “Fake Texas” monologue & Frisco transplant jokes
• 17:00: Tales of Bowie, TX and rodeo arena Klan meeting
• 35:20: Hiring/fitting the right buyer to the right customer, Philly staffer
• 41:12, 44:40: "White, Black, Latino or Other" segment—dog-biter reveal
• 47:57: Hiring discussion—"If you can't type, don't apply"
• 80:07: Cluck Norris mourns the passing of Big Mama the chicken
• 102:00: Turley’s convict girlfriend breakup, the rundown
• 119:44: Caller Caesar's immigration story & border wall take
• 124:31: In-N-Out Burger manager salaries and job value
• 133:00: Oilfield boom and pay rates, Midland, TX
• 143:22: Rush Limbaugh spoof re: the Super Bowl, Hannah's $42k
• 148:10: “Once you go red, you never go back” (Devil calls)

For More: See johnclaywolf.com, the John Clay Wolfe Show Facebook page, or tune in for future broadcasts & podcasts.