The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #175 – 11.24.18

Original Air Date: November 24, 2018
Summary Prepared: February 13, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Presented by: GiveMeTheVIN.com

Overview

This raucous Thanksgiving weekend episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show brings together the usual crew in classic, free-form fashion. While car buying and sales remain at the heart of the show, the team’s irreverent takes on Black Friday, mall nostalgia, sports, diets, strip clubs during the holidays, and the ridiculousness of modern life take center stage. Rolling comedy bits, listener calls, and memorable banter showcase the show's signature mix of car talk, cultural satire, and no-holds-barred humor.

Table of Contents

1. The Death of Malls and Black Friday Reflections
2. Promo Van Snafus and On-Air Crew Drama
3. Diet Talk and the Snake Diet
4. Car Sales, Listener Calls, and Promotions
5. Thanksgiving, Family, and Strip Clubs
6. Sports Talk: Cowboys, Longhorns, and More
7. Fake News, Oil Field Worries, and Economic Chit-Chat
8. Recurring Characters, Comedy Bits, and Inside Jokes
9. Notable Quotes & Timestamps
10. Pedigree Dogs, Auction Stories, and Leasing Wisdom
11. Celebrity Roulette, Listener Bonding, and Podcast Wrap

1. The Death of Malls and Black Friday Reflections <a name="death-of-malls"></a>

• Team Nostalgia: JD and the crew reminisce about the decline of American malls, the rise of outdoor shopping centers, and online shopping shifting the Black Friday landscape.
  • [01:05] JD: “I haven’t been to a mall in five years, at least since I learned to spell Amazon.”
  • [02:36] Charlie: “These event shopping days, I’m afraid, will they be a thing of the past?”
• Black Friday in Decline: Panel reflects on how online shopping has killed the big crowds and brawls that defined Black Friday.
  • [03:01] JD: “All the $100 televisions are gone before you can get there.”

2. Promo Van Snafus and On-Air Crew Drama <a name="promo-van"></a>

• Logistics Meltdown:
  • John is frustrated as the GiveMeTheVIN promo van goes missing—a pre-show debacle because Rob (the new Baton Rouge office manager) took the van home to pack. It disrupts their “bring us your CarMax offer” promo.
  • [05:11] John: “So that’s what I’ve been dealing with this morning. It’s hard to send out a crew with a van. It is hard when there’s no van.”
• Classic Management Comedy:
  • John presses Rob and Michael on responsibility, communication, and internal blame over the van, with hilarious car business asides.
  • [07:43] Caller (Rob): “I would say yes, John, but it really feels like no now all of a sudden.”
  • [09:12] John: “So that’s what I’ve been dealing with this morning. It’s hard to send out a crew with a van. It’s hard when there’s no van.”

3. Diet Talk and the Snake Diet <a name="diets"></a>

• JD’s Diet Obsession:
  • The crew busts on JD’s latest diet, with John and Michael escalating the jokes to wild places.
  • [04:00-04:46] Extended comedy bit: masturbation diet and “private pleasure” joke sequence.
• Stripper Snake Juice Diet:
  • Hannah the Stripper introduces JD to the “Snake Diet”—water with potassium chloride, salt, baking soda, and food grade Epsom salt.
  • [42:58] JD: “She told me all about it. It’s 2 liters of water with potassium chloride...and that’s all you drink for four days.”
  • [43:32] John: “The thing about the snake diet is you lose weight everywhere but your babies.”

4. Car Sales, Listener Calls, and Promotions <a name="car-sales"></a>

• Plano CarMax Offer Promo:
  • $100 bills for the first five people who bring their CarMax offer letter to the GiveMeTheVIN promo van parked next to CarMax Plano (and later, Baton Rouge, Las Vegas).
  • [05:51] John: “500 to the first five people that bring over their CarMax offer this morning...”
• Classic Car Appraisals:
  • Listeners call in with cars ranging from beater Thunderbirds to new diesel trucks; John gives quick-fire appraisals, with standard brash candor.
  • [15:55] “Those things break, man. They break.”
  • [24:58] “Vanessa’s probably a couple thousand bucks...I will buy it if you want to sell it.”
  • [57:56] “O2 Thunderbird...$5,000 if it’s in good shape. Wow. Do you want to sell it?”

5. Thanksgiving, Family, and Strip Clubs <a name="thanksgiving"></a>

• Dancing Holidays:
  • Hannah the Stripper gives insight into strip club dynamics during the holidays.
  • [44:52] “Typically, Thanksgiving is for newbies...at the club on Thanksgiving night. Anybody that goes, they’ll just cry.”
  • [44:38] “They still give dollars, you know, but they cry.”
• Green Bean Casserole Origins:
  • Ongoing, absurdist comedy storyline about “Stymie Carpenter,” Karen Carpenter’s brother who supposedly invented green bean casserole and haunted rock history.
  • [16:17] (Charlie) “And that was Stymie’s downfall until he learned how to make green bean casserole.”

6. Sports Talk: Cowboys, Longhorns, and More <a name="sports"></a>

• Cowboys Thanksgiving Win:
  • Celebration of the Cowboys’ victory over the Redskins on Thanksgiving Day.
  • [14:06] John: “The Cowboys beat the Redskins...that was good.”
• Longhorns, Big 12, and Rivalries:
  • Discussion of Texas Longhorns’ momentum (“112-point win” joke), conference rivalries, disdain for Texas A&M, and upcoming championship matchups.
  • [27:27] Michael: “Longhorn Nation is going crazy because they’re going to be in the Big 12 championship.”
  • [28:41] John: “They don’t count. A&M doesn’t count. I just want to piss everybody off.”

7. Fake News, Oil Field Worries, and Economic Chit-Chat <a name="oil-field"></a>

• Oil Price Debates:
  • Panel distinguishes news “corrections” from “crashes,” challenges media hype.
  • [53:59] John: “That’s not a crash, bud...That’s correction.”
  • Insight from oilfield callers in Texas and Oklahoma who assure the show “the field is fine.”
  • [56:01] Caller (Levi): “No, no, no, no, the oil field...it’s doing all right.”
• Economic Wisdom:
  • [63:18] Caller (Laura): “When it’s profit, when it’s above $35 a barrel, you still have to live the same...can’t be a jackass about it.”

8. Recurring Characters, Comedy Bits, and Inside Jokes <a name="comedy"></a>

• Stymie Carpenter Saga:
  • Running gag about a mythical brother of Karen Carpenter, linking music, food, and celebrity tragedy (played out in multiple segments).
• Randy the Chipmunk:
  • Returns for a surreal conversation about nut safety and the perils of wild turkeys:
  • [110:32] “Don’t leave them outside because turkeys will eat your nuts.”
• Rush Limbaugh and Satan Impressions:
  • Mock interviews with “Rush” and “Satan” about their Thanksgiving plans, PR problems, or image rehab.
  • [86:21] “Us guys in the big time...take a number of days off for Thanksgiving.”

9. Notable Quotes & Timestamps <a name="quotes"></a>

• “I haven’t been to a mall in five years, at least since I learned to spell Amazon.” – JD Ryan [01:07]
• “Dear God.” (after extended masturbation diet riff) – Michael Turley [04:07]
• “It is hard when there’s no van.” – John Clay Wolfe [09:12]
• “If you want to buy a 200,000 mile diesel truck, be married to a diesel mechanic.” – John Clay Wolfe [36:00]
• “This guy sounds pretty deep.” – John Clay Wolfe (on fictional Stymie Carpenter) [17:12]
• “It’s okay. Yeah, but I mean, I’m not looking for a free ride. I’m just not looking to get up the high hard one either.” – John Clay Wolfe [65:31]
• “If you see those monster negative equities, you gotta be a little careful.” – John Clay Wolfe [106:12]
• “Don’t leave them outside because turkeys will eat your nuts.” – Randy the Chipmunk [111:18]

10. Pedigree Dogs, Auction Stories, and Leasing Wisdom <a name="dogs-lease"></a>

• Sam Houston Rottweilers Endorsement:
  • John reminisces about his beloved dog and plugs a Texas breeder, contrasting free shelter pets and pedigree purchasing.
• Auction Anecdotes:
  • Wild bidding stories—Viper auction malfunction—John takes the high road.
  • [114:38] “The backup bidder went away...and I was offering some adjustments because I knew it oversold.”
• Leasing Game – What Dealers Won’t Tell You:
  • Detailed breakdown of auto leasing pitfalls and the residual trick.
  • [107:51] “Here’s how this lease game works...”

11. Celebrity Roulette, Listener Bonding, and Podcast Wrap <a name="roulettes"></a>

• Celebrity Call Roulette:
  • Failed but hilarious attempt to get Dukes of Hazzard’s John Schneider on air via his bodyguard.
• Listener Bonding:
  • Heartwarming segment about a listener who became real-life friends with JD after connecting through the show:
  • [82:14] Charlie: “She’s at my apartment...for Thanksgiving week.”
• Podcast & Show End:
  • Reminder about the show's archives and next week’s plans for the Baton Rouge office opening.

Closing Thoughts

Classic J.C.W. energy, with fast banter, offbeat humor, and practical advice. The show oscillates from wild comedy (masturbation diets, mythical chefs, nut-eating turkeys) to real-world car business, gratitude for listeners, and no-BS inside baseball about radio, sports, and life. If you missed this episode, you missed a Thanksgiving feast of cars, comedy, and Texas-flavored candor.

Key Segments by Timestamp:

• [05:11] – Promo van crisis
• [10:16] – Diet talk and introspection
• [13:19] – Stymie Carpenter/Thanksgiving riff
• [28:21] – Longhorns, rivalry, and sports talk
• [36:07] – High-mile diesel truck call
• [43:32] – Snake Juice Diet explained
• [56:01] – Oil field reality check
• [70:10] – Keith Richards/Rolling Stones parody
• [110:33] – Randy the Chipmunk’s wild turkey saga

End of summary for The John Clay Wolfe Show, Episode #175– 11.24.18