#179 John Clay Wolfe Show 12.22.18

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show — Episode #179: 12.22.18 (Aired 2/16/26)

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Episode Overview

This lively, holiday-themed episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show is set against the backdrop of Christmas and features the crew’s signature banter around cars, wild office party stories, relationships, and bits about rock & roll, strip clubs, and life’s oddities. The show is irreverent and loose, filled with offbeat humor, memorable characters, and sharp-witted observations on car culture, the holidays, and everything in between. A special focus: the fallout and drama from the company Christmas party!

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Vibes & Crew Reunion (00:02–04:24)

• Christmas Eve Reflection: John opens with a riff on people acting nicer during the holidays and jokes about "speaking of marijuana" and FCC fines.
• JD & Washable Return: Returning cast member "Washable" (Wash) rejoins, reminiscing about his time on the show, his departure, and his upcoming divorce.
• Ten-Year Circle: Wash reflects on how the birth of his child marked ten years since he started, noting, "Everything's come full circle. Yeah. It's been quite, quite, quite the experience." (02:18)

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2. Strip Clubs, Life Changes & Cars (04:25–13:00)

• Past Lives as DJs: Wash and team joke about their stints as strip club DJs, beers brought to the studio, and notable absences.
• Child Announcements: Anecdotes about finding out about pregnancies and how John deduced Wash’s wife was pregnant over a declined glass of wine.
  • "You know, you don’t have to stick your head up a bull’s ass. You could just take the butcher’s word for it." — John Clay Wolfe (03:12)
• Femininity, Aging, & Gifts: Riffs about buying onesies as a wife’s Christmas gift ("I damn near got a black eye over it"), moving from sexy gifts to weighted blankets, and the arc of marriage presents (10:26–11:17).

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3. Car Market, Auctions, & Listener Calls (13:01–18:17)

• Business at GiveMeTheVIN: Updates on car auction sales, market highs and lows, and the stress of seasonal slumps.
  • "There’s some real highs in this business, but there’s some real lows... It really sucks." — John (07:24)
• On the Air Deals: Regular listeners call in for live car appraisals, with John negotiating, bantering, and playfully testing their price expectations.
• Online Car Selling: Repeated encouragement to use givemethevin.com, emphasizing speed ("60 seconds"), and mild sarcasm about car values.

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4. Dating in Middle Age & Office Flirtations (17:20–19:21)

• Dating Apps Post-Divorce: Wash shares his experiences on Bumble, Tinder, and "Fluke," classifying them by user types and age.
  • "Bumble seems to be for the ladies that have realized they're not going to have kids in their late 40s..." — Wash (17:49)
• Studio Banter with Hannah: A flirty, chaotic roundtable when Hannah, the show's "in-house stripper" arrives. She teases Wash about his divorce and taste for dancers.

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5. The Legendary Company Christmas Party (40:35–48:52)

This is the episode’s central arc — a raucous, multi-segment recounting of a company holiday bash gone off the rails.

The Incident (40:35–46:24)

• Drunken Brawl: "Country Max" punches "Big Shot Bob" after taking offense at a country people joke—“What are you saying about country people?!”—leading to a scuffle that the crowd (and management) tries to de-escalate.
• Aftermath: Max is ejected, continues to challenge Bob outside. Bob’s response: "Somebody get this guy the hell out of here." (45:05)
• Colorful Commentary: "That's just affordable housing. That's not country." — John, on Max's faux-country persona (44:49)
• Historical Perspective: JD, John, and crew reflect on the archetype of "the guy who tells the boss how great he is" at parties.

The Hangover (51:10–56:46)

• White Boy Kyle’s Misadventure: Wanders off, gets lost after the party, found asleep upright at John’s dining table by a terrified five-year-old ("There's a dead man..."), then proceeds to recover with a massage and steam at John’s country club.
• Office Absenteeism: Kyle shows up to work late, looking terrible, sleeps on the customer couch, and racks up a mysterious massage bill.

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6. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Bits, and Listener Participation (23:19, 56:38–58:56)

• Music Segments: Celebrating acts inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, including Def Leppard, Stevie Nicks, The Cure, Janet Jackson, and more. The show spins classic tracks and discusses their impact.
• Penny Marshall Obit: A mini-trivia on films directed by Penny Marshall, touching on her multi-dimensional career. (57:06–58:56)

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7. Bits, Skits & Show Traditions (81:06–91:14)

• Ronnie James Dio Christmas Carols: Parody "dark" holiday songs delivered in Dio-style; discussed and performed for comedic value (81:06–83:21).
• Satan Calls In: A recurring gag where "Satan" dispenses relationship advice involving speed and table tennis (83:38–86:13).
  • "Nobody's done it more than me... If you want to keep that woman, get her hooked on speed!" — Satan (84:36)
• Chipmunk Rant: The "chipmunk" character passionately denounces the roasting of chestnuts in Christmas songs, urging listeners to "leave your nuts alone." (92:23–95:06)

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8. Selling Cars — Process Explained (89:03–90:52)

• John walks through the (then-recently upgraded) givemethevin.com online selling workflow—from bid to check printing and rapid scheduling for those in need of quick Christmas cash.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We went from sexy gear to weighted blankets. 10 years." — John (11:08)
• "He walks in, slams down a six pack of shiner bocks, and says, okay, let's go." — Bobo, on Wash’s legendary return (02:33)
• "The holidays change things and I'm real bad about getting kicked off of stations during holiday shows. This has happened not once, not twice, but four times..." — John (11:49)
• "Country instinct is not to fire back." — John, on why Big Shot Bob took the hit from Max without retaliating (49:35)
• "I'm more country than you. I live in a town of 30,000 people, you live in the city..." — Big Shot Bob, during the after-party recap (71:55)
• "Anybody roasting chestnuts? The chestnut, just speaking from, you know, genius and species-wise, does not require roasting. Leave your nuts alone, okay?" — Chipmunk character (93:38)
• "Don't ever trust a guy from Houston. Never trust a man from Houston except around Christmas time." — John (09:33)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Holiday Intros & Team Reunion — 00:02–04:24
• Strip Club DJ Tales & Life Changes — 01:12–04:24
• Marriage, Kids & Anniversaries — 02:09–04:23
• Car Biz Market & Auctions — 06:47–07:50; 13:05–14:59 (Listener calls throughout: 13:56, 14:59, 15:23, 16:23, 17:20, 18:09, etc.)
• Dating App Discussion — 17:20–18:09
• Christmas Party Brawl — 40:35–48:52
• White Boy Kyle Hangover Story — 51:10–56:46
• Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Segment — 23:19, 56:38–58:56
• Dio Christmas/Show Bits — 81:06–83:21
• "Satan" Marriage Advice — 83:38–86:13
• Chipmunk on Chestnuts — 92:23–95:06

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Tone & Style

• The show maintains its trademark irreverent, free-form, and often crude humor.
• Heavy emphasis on camaraderie, inside jokes, and a barroom storytelling style.
• Authentic, unfiltered language and classic radio energy—occasionally self-aware about pushing FCC boundaries.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed this riotous holiday episode, you missed open mics, steady streams of jokes about relationships and work, a hysterical window into modern car selling, and an epic office Christmas brawl that will become company legend. The crew’s willingness to roast each other, take calls live, and break the fourth wall with skits and characters make for a wild, entertaining listen—perfect for those who love car culture, rock & roll, and keeping the holidays anything but tame.

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For more, check out full episodes or contact the show at 800-800-RADIO and givemethevin.com.

Transcript

[A]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio Studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf Show. It's Christmas Eve. It's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer. We. We smile a little easier, we share a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be. Speaking of marijuana, hit him up now. 800. 800 radio. And it can happen for all of you optics to kick everybody out of here. I'm just gonna do this myself now. John Clay Wolf. Is this live or is it recorded? Are we. Are we faking them out? Are we really here?

[B]

Memor.

[A]

I don't know. It's a holiday. We tend to work through them.

[C]

We do.

[A]

We do.

[B]

I prefer that, don't you?

[A]

Is this Death Leopard? This is a stripper song. Is this a 1984 Six Stripper song?

[B]

I think it's earlier than that. It's like from the High dry album, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

8082.

[A]

What year did you do this? What year did you serve your country as a strip club DJ Bum?

[B]

1994. 95.

[A]

Just two years.

[B]

Less than two years.

[A]

Did you get one year college for each year served?

[B]

I found out I had a child on the way and decided to get a second job and save my dollars.

[C]

Did you pick the songs or did.

[D]

Who's that?

[C]

They picked the songs.

[D]

Who's that voice?

[A]

Jd. He. But. But with a ball job.

[C]

I've got a cold washable.

[A]

JD finally dropped washable, ladies and gentlemen. It's a holiday treat. He was with us for years and he moved off and he's. JD replaced him.

[B]

Oh, did you move?

[C]

I moved.

[B]

I thought you just stopped hanging around.

[C]

No. Well, both.

[D]

That's kind of what I got too. He's just like. Yeah, he's not here anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I relocated.

[A]

He just moves around in. In broad strokes.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Man, we got a lot to talk about.

[C]

Yeah. It's almost an anniversary show. I left here on the first date with my wife and I'm coming back after having the last date with my wife.

[A]

Divorced.

[C]

Everything's come full circle. Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

It's been quite, quite, quite the experience. You're on the show.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You guys remember the last time Wash was in studio with us?

[A]

No, no, not really.

[B]

He wasn't alone.

[C]

Alone. That was horrible.

[B]

He wasn't alone.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

He had a six pack of shiner box. Yeah. He walked in, slammed him on the table and said, okay, let's go.

[D]

Damn. Where's it at now?

[C]

I Don't know. I see the prosthetic legs in front of us though. That's something I've missed since I've been gone.

[A]

He was not alone. He had beers with him. So he was getting drunk. Why was he mad?

[B]

I don't know. He got some kind of surprising news and brought a six pack of shiners.

[A]

Oh, you were pregnant.

[C]

Yeah. Well, yeah, you found out for me.

[A]

I didn't ever stick my finger up there.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Can't do that, John.

[E]

No.

[A]

I didn't ever investigate that area.

[C]

My wife declined a glass, a very nice glass of wine. And you said you are pregnant?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And then she turned bright red.

[A]

You know, you don't have to stick your head up a bull's ass. You could just take the butcher's word for it.

[C]

Right. And after two pregnancy tests later, on my birthday, she was pregnant.

[A]

Well, good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You got two boys.

[C]

Two boys.

[A]

How old are they?

[C]

Well, the next one will be nine.

[A]

And so this was ten years ago?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Shut up.

[C]

That's when the show started.

[A]

Shut up. Oh, don't be a homo.

[C]

Can you believe it?

[A]

10 years.

[C]

10 years.

[A]

No, no, no, no. It is hard to argue a child's age because that's pretty verifiable.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Ten years.

[A]

Shut up. All right, I'll get off of it.

[C]

I miss driving in from.

[A]

She had to. She had to gestate him for nine months before that.

[C]

Right.

[E]

And.

[A]

And how old is he right now?

[C]

He'll be nine in January 13th.

[A]

Okay, I'm nine and a half.

[B]

Good day.

[A]

Wow. And did you leave us before she was pregnant? No, I was here right around six months into it.

[C]

Yeah. Then I had to get a real job like. Like Bobbo. Had to.

[D]

Well, isn't that the truth on radio. It's like how, you know, I can have fun for some years and then all of a sudden it's like, damn, there's a kid.

[C]

And. And then two years later, the wife says, I miss the old you okay with the old me? You weren't pregnant. I didn't have kids.

[A]

Pinky's gonna come in here. Hannah's son. Hannah's got her nephew with her. Speaking of kids, I saw them out there. We have our in house stripper and she drags around her kid with her. It's pretty funny. Well, Charlie, have you seen him?

[D]

I have not.

[A]

I thought I saw. I know I saw Hattie Miss Hannah, but I definitely saw the kid. I think that was the kid.

[C]

Her car was out there.

[A]

The vet.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Know she's such A hoe. If you're getting a divorce, then you could start seeing her. Yeah, for a small fee. Maybe you could get a membership deal. I think that's smarter money.

[C]

Anybody can see her weekly or monthly.

[A]

Just, just, you know, just do a plan. Just like a phone. If it flies, floats, or. You know what, lease it. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Don't forget, give me the VIN. Buys RVs, motorcycles, and if they don't beat your carmax off, we'll give you a hundred dollars cash to the barrel head. Go to givemetheven.com also you can call in 800, 800 radio. Year make, model, miles, average rough for clean. I'll give you a figure right here on the. On the air. And what will pay for your car? Diesel trucks, lifted trucks, vets, all the stripper cars. We love them Hummers, normal cars. I have to ask for the special cars because the normal cars are coming anyway. What are you driving now?

[C]

I've got a Sahara that I tried to make look cool. Yeah, it's all right.

[A]

Nothing like driving a. Is it jacked up?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Nothing like being in your mid-40s.

[C]

Driving a college girl jeep.

[A]

Yeah, we have. We actually have a college girl that works here and she drives the same gpu.

[C]

I haven't seen her this morning.

[A]

No, she's on a family holiday.

[C]

That's a shame.

[A]

If. If you had seen her, she's nudes. You would, you would ask her if she wants to swap jeeps.

[C]

All right, cool, Bob, what you got?

[A]

What's your story?

[B]

That's a great weekend, man. It's been a busy week. We got a lot of cars through the lanes this week, John. A bunch. Bunch. A bunch of cars. If people haven't heard, we're running two simultaneous lanes now at the biggest auction in the world. And totaled how many we sold?

[A]

400 and something. 422.

[B]

Broke another record.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's a lot.

[B]

Is this in case the markets. Market's coming back a car market again?

[A]

Yeah, a little bit. We just, you know, you kind of make your own market. When you make. When you have that many. I mean, we're bigger than a lot of car auctions. You know how.

[B]

How outside the car side of this business I am. Right, right. I mean, you know, I'm, I'm here for the show. I produce the show, get bits ready for the program. But I hear you guys talk about it and it scares me to death.

[A]

What?

[B]

Because every year round September, you know, you're.

[A]

We Already went through it, man.

[B]

Buckling down. You're like the.

[C]

Like.

[B]

Like the French before 1812.

[C]

And you're like, we're gonna have to.

[B]

Help somebody out here somewhere.

[C]

We're talking about big techs.

[A]

Yeah. Well, no, the market changes, and it just hurts real bad. I mean, it gelded me again this year. I mean, just. There's some real highs in this business, but there's some real lows in it, too. And the low is September, October, and can be November. September and October this year were about as low as, you know, you take your guns and give them to your other people, live outside your house, right? You just start blowing money. I mean, it just starts bleeding you out. It really sucks.

[D]

Your alcohol bill goes up? Pretty much.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

My alcohol bill's pretty consistent. How's your alcohol bill?

[C]

Was, you know, I'm not paying for it, so it's all right. It. I don't know.

[A]

Just.

[C]

You tell me.

[A]

Do the girls at the bar by your dreams.

[C]

You're. You're. You're the famous guy here in town.

[A]

Bobbo will work a bar tab bill in a heartbeat with any local establishment. If you hear him talking about any haunts right now, he. He. He runs these. Nothing's changed in 10 years. Wash used to be Snooki's Bar and Grill. Is that right?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Snookies.

[B]

Was that the name of the place?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, but don't go to the one in Dallas. It's a different clientele.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

The one here's gone now. Some. Some bourgeois guy bought it and turned it into some kind of a chef bistro.

[A]

I'll never forget the day that we were in a convertible LeBaron. I don't know why. My roommate from Boston at SMU drove a convertible LeBaron. Man, I'm queer, right? And we're driving through Oaklawn, right over there by Snooki's in Dallas, and we have the three, you know, three young males with the top down and a white convertible LeBaron on lemon or oak lawn in lemon.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And we're at a stoplight, and I look around and I see a bunch of guys looking at us. I'm like. I'm like, I'm gay. But I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not at all. It was just. It was a nice day. It was a nice day.

[C]

Y' all listen to Barry Manilow with the top down?

[A]

No, I probably listen to Blues Traveler back then or Dave Matthews.

[B]

On the positive side, you have to buy any of your own drinks.

[A]

And that's how Wash makes it through life.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That was the moral of my story. He'll do whatever it takes to get free cocktails right here. His nipples were very attractive. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Good morning New Orleans. Good morning Baton Rouge. Good morning Oklahoma City. Good morning, San Diego, California. Good morning, Las Vegas. You bastards aren't even up yet. Good morning Temecula, California and Bakersfield and all that. Houston, man, don't ever trust a guy from Houston. Never trust a man from Houston except around Christmas time. And it is Christmas time. It's right around the corner. I haven't done any shopping at all. I need to get with it. What? I got my wife. That. That. Do not do this. The. The onesie again. No, you remember that? I did that once.

[C]

Yeah, the zip up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sleeper thing.

[A]

I damn near got a black eye over it. I don't know why they took offense to that. I found it sexy. What's it called? A. A sluffer.

[C]

I don't know. Slougher. Can't be right.

[B]

One of those snuggly deals. Kind of a.

[A]

It's just a big old wrap up job.

[B]

I thought women love that stuff.

[A]

You know, if there's nothing on underneath it, it can be quite the Christmas gift. It can be a double double double header.

[B]

Damn right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Nobody sees things my way these days.

[B]

Yom Kippur on down.

[D]

So now you're gonna get her the weighted blanket.

[A]

Is that what you do at this age? Yeah, the heated weighted blanket.

[C]

It helps her circulation.

[A]

Yeah, we went from. We went from sexy gear to weighted blankets. 10 years.

[C]

Well, you want her feet to circulate.

[A]

How does that work? I haven't seen one. Is it on an infomercial?

[C]

You're not staying up late enough. Yeah, you get some fungins to stay up till 2.

[A]

So does it have. It has like lead weights in it or. I guess.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

It's like a thin layer of concrete.

[C]

Right, Right. A couple nine volts down there to keep the tootsies warm. And it eases them to sleep.

[A]

That. A little chloroform will do it right here on the Jock Lay Wolf show. Only at Christmas time. Yes, we are live.

[C]

Merry Christmas.

[A]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Feel free to call in and bust washes balls or give us a shout. Whatever. It's gonna be a pretty loose show this morning. Be it as we're in the holiday and the holidays change things and I'm real bad about getting kicked off of stations during holiday shows. This has happened not once, not twice, but for four times. So I've got to be careful. Don't let me get too loose, guys.

[C]

What's the deal?

[A]

Charlie already dumped me once. I don't know. I assume that our listenership is very. Is cut in half because of this holiday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that are only our die hards are on and. And that's. I think there's truth to that. But I take it a little too far.

[C]

Well, when you get a pit bull in here for you.

[A]

Yeah. Or a dump mud and we've got that. It's all good.

[C]

How much dump do we have?

[A]

We've got a lot. Don't we don't.

[D]

We don't tell everybody.

[A]

You don't tell your secrets. But we've got more d. You've. We've got more dump than you've.

[D]

Don't even go there.

[A]

We'll be back in a minute. And now back to the John Clay Wolf show presented by givemethevin.com. It's so cool that this song came back to number one this year. Not number one but top ten, I think.

[B]

Yeah. It may have gone top five.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's amazing. What was the deal? It was used in a TV commercial or a.

[A]

No, there was a marching band like from the ghetto.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Like a drum line. And they were doing a bit to this song and they were getting so funky with. Turned into an Internet clip. And it brought it all back.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Well, because it exploded on itunes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they had like a gazillion downloads in a week. And now the charts are made on the basis of that. You know, journeys don't stop believing came back.

[A]

So I did see Hannah. I want wash if you'll go get her in a second. I want her to come in here because I want to figure out what.

[C]

Let's just take me five minutes to find her. I should probably leave now.

[A]

Chasing strippers is like herding cats. Jason Van Austin, good morning on the air. Hey, Jason.

[F]

I've got a 20. Hello.

[A]

Yeah, I see 2014. Three quarter ton diesel laramie longhorn with a buck 34 on the clock. Four wheel drive leather navigation. What color?

[F]

It's white.

[A]

So it's a high mileage. Good truck. Cummins. Anything wrong with it?

[F]

No, not at all. It's two owner 200 trucks. It's got one little scuff right on the front fender. I think it could be colored, buffed. Are you a dealer other than that no dents. Am I a dealer? No, sir.

[A]

Okay, you're talking some slang there. All right, cut it down. Color buff to owner. Blah, blah, blah. Knuckle busters does 20 grand. Just 20 grand. Put her to sleep.

[F]

I think I'm gonna be a little far back on that one.

[A]

How much is it?

[F]

You know, this is my first offer I've gotten. I haven't gone anywhere else. I was looking to trade it on a half ton, four wheel drive, so I haven't. Haven't really started looking. I just listen and thought I'd try here.

[A]

Hey, when I asked my old lady where she wants to go to dinner, she starts talking about all this crap. She still never told where you wanted to go. She still never told me.

[C]

You're hungry.

[A]

Uncle Julio's. Take a left. So let me start over. How much is it?

[F]

You know, I was assuming around 28.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

And that, that may be.

[A]

Well, the miles are a little high. Is it a mega cab or crew cab?

[F]

Crew cab.

[A]

So if I gave you 28, what would you drive tomorrow?

[F]

That I don't know.

[A]

Okay, so it's really not for sale.

[F]

I would be afoot. Well, I. I've got another couple little cars at the house I can run around in for a day or two.

[C]

He is a dealer.

[A]

I'm not going to give you 28, but I'm going to give you a lot more than what I. I kicked you at 20 just to see what the number was that, you know, everybody's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. Will it 20 grand buy? No. Okay, well, 20 grand won't. What will? Well, I'm. I'm using his example, so I want to buy it is what I'm trying to say. Will you go to givemetheven.com and load it up? Let me take a picture.

[F]

Yeah, we'll do.

[A]

Let me see a picture and I'll figure out. But I'll mid 20s is what I'm thinking. But I may, I may go to 28. I just need to see it. So take some good pictures. Open. Sell me on it is what I'm saying. Let me see some pictures. Let me feel the loud. Chris. A 14F 150FX for 44,000 miles. How much lift?

[F]

Six inch lift.

[A]

That's good. Is it 38 on the tires? Yeah. Okay, 14. No sunroof. Yes or no?

[F]

Yeah, it's got sunroof, navigation, leather, FX4 package.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Ecoboost.

[A]

Average. Rough or clean?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, me too. 25 grand. 25. 26 is what I'm thinking. Let me look at a book. What are you thinking?

[F]

27. Ish.

[A]

Okay. I think we're close enough that we should take the. We should take the next step. We should take the next step in our relationship. And you can send me some pictures. Okay, good. Good, good. Yeah, but, you know, this is a lot like Washable, since he's getting divorced. Isn't this much like dating, Wash?

[C]

Well, I'm dating as we speak, so you're on the.

[A]

We have givethevin.com. and you use what. What do you use?

[C]

There's so many. It just depends on what the evening is. Bumble, Tinder, Fluke. I don't know, Bumble.

[A]

Hey, Chris, just load it up. We'll get her bought, right? You bought. You bought two. We bought two from you already.

[F]

Yeah. RAV4 and Avalon.

[A]

Perfect.

[C]

What is.

[B]

What the hell is floors?

[C]

Fluke, I think, is for your more. Your more serious dating gals. Bumble. Seems to be for the. The ladies that have realized they're not going to have kids in their late 40s. And they're not really. They passed that point, but it seems tender. The girls are a little younger and they want to have kids.

[A]

Speaking of young ones that are flu. Our own. Our own Hannah. Our own Hannah is here in. In the house. Good morning, Hannah.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, you sound a little rough going. What are you doing?

[B]

Embarrass me? They're going to Was.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Are you John's friend?

[C]

We went to high school together.

[E]

You went to high school with John?

[B]

You're really old.

[C]

Yeah, I'm really.

[A]

Look at my boobies.

[C]

Yep, look at them.

[B]

You're so cute.

[E]

Are you getting divorced?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[C]

That's all right.

[E]

You like dancers?

[D]

Why are you so uncomfortable, Wash?

[C]

You know, it's been a long time. This song brings back memories as well.

[A]

She asked you a question, son. Answer the damn question.

[C]

Do I like dancers? I like more of the. Yes. I'm a. I'm a fan of the.

[E]

Arts, you know, I want to see the best dancers.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

After 9 and before 11.

[A]

You should come down. I'll introduce you to the girls.

[B]

They love you kids.

[A]

So little. Boy, you're all blushing. Why do you get pinky up here? What's your. What's your sisters. What's your nephew doing? Oh, my God.

[B]

I don't even want to go into it.

[A]

Pinky. Good morning.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

Hi. Why are you with your aunt again?

[E]

Well, she's a little mad at me because I borrowed $15,000. She took my stash from my left. Pink. No, no, no. I borrowed it.

[B]

Kentucky.

[A]

How are you gonna pay her back?

[E]

Well, I borrowed it to bride Santa for my dream car, which is a Lamborghini, so I don't have to pay her back. Okay, here's what happened.

[A]

You lifted 15 grand off a stripper and went down to the mall and gave it to Santa and asked for a Lamborghini.

[E]

That's right.

[A]

You're such a liar.

[E]

You're such a liar.

[A]

My God, you're just like your mother.

[C]

What's his mother like?

[B]

His mother. My sister Melissa is such a liar and such a jail bait. Pinky, you gotta be careful you don't.

[E]

Turn out like your mother.

[A]

So, Pinky, what kind of a. What kind of Lamborghini do you want? Or do you. Do you know? Do you know what a Lamborghini is?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, well, tell them. Impress me with like. Tell me some Lamborghini knowledge.

[E]

Well, it's the one that all kids want, so. That's why I want it. I want a huracan with a V12 engine. Lime green.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

A performante or just the regular?

[E]

Just the regular.

[A]

And if you didn't get a huracan, what's your backup choice?

[E]

Ventador?

[A]

Aventador?

[C]

So Ferraris is not your style?

[A]

More of a Lamborghini man.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You like the bull?

[A]

Well, I can. Pinky. I can take you. If. If this works out, I can take you over to see the guys in North LA or the guys in North Dallas. It's the same people. Both own Lamborghini.

[E]

I think that fifteen thousand dollar bride for Santa. Yeah, he's getting me one. It'll be a lot better if you're going with John.

[B]

He didn't even give it to Santa.

[E]

He gave it to the guy at.

[B]

Sparro in the mall because he's a fat guy with a red hat. And I'm out $15,000. And I lost my top and got.

[A]

Arrested at the mall.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

So why are you here with me? What do you want from me?

[E]

I thought maybe I could ask you.

[B]

For a little loan.

[A]

A little loan?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like we're friends.

[A]

We are friends for a long time, right? Me love you long time.

[B]

I love my friends.

[A]

So what. What do you need? How much you need?

[B]

19,000.

[E]

Seems a little big on the juice. I can make that.

[A]

I'm having. I'm having a Christmas vacation moment. Well, Clark, you know they're gonna take the blah, blah, blah. Well, Eddie, that's fine. We'd love to help you out. How do you need. I'm 15,000. My name's John Clay Wolf. I'll be.

[E]

Your feet.

[C]

4, 3, 2, 1.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Call them toll free. 1-800-800-RADIO. And now, senor Juan Clay Wolf. Are you getting your black booty on, Bob?

[D]

She's in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[A]

Jim Jackson. This was the Hot Years. Well, she gave it her two trophies. The. The hot trophy and the fat trophy.

[C]

What year was the Slip?

[A]

The slip is probably 89.

[C]

Oh, no, no.

[A]

The Nip slip.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That would have been 2000.

[B]

2000.

[A]

No, later. Later. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, it was super bowl, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, 50505. Maybe 06.

[C]

I've still got that saved on my hard drive.

[B]

She's been in, case you haven't noticed, we played so far, what, Def Leppard and some Stevie Nicks. And we're highlighting some of the. Some of the groups, some of the acts that are going into the Rock and Roll hall of fame in 2019.

[A]

Going in or in. And when is the presentation?

[B]

Induction's in April, I think.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And they'll show it on hbo, like in May. You can watch it live. You don't have to be there. But it's cooler to be there.

[C]

It's getting kind of political, too.

[B]

Yes, it is. And it's been ridiculous for about seven years because the Doobie Brothers still aren't in. Don't get me started on that. This year is what? Janet Jackson, Stevie Nicks as a solo artist. The Cures going in.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. The Cure was the one that kind of caught my eye.

[B]

Zombies. Def Leppard. Def Leppard's probably the big one this year.

[C]

I mean, a one armed drummer, they've got to get in. Yeah.

[A]

Radiohead.

[B]

I think it's a little early for Radiohead. And who's the other one?

[A]

It's a little non A. Brian Ferry.

[B]

Yeah. Roxy Music.

[A]

Yeah. Brian Fairy.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Nine and a half weeks. That like changed my life back in high school.

[A]

Base here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Rabbit's mom.

[C]

Oh, my God. Goodness. Eight Mile and Rabbit Small.

[A]

Your name is Chain Off. I mean, I bet, I bet you anything DJ Prek misspelled this.

[B]

No.

[C]

Shame.

[F]

S H A N E. Yes.

[A]

There's a reason that we call him dj.

[F]

You're breaking up. You're breaking up real bad.

[A]

There's a reason that we call him DJ Prek is because he can't spell. He spelled your name. C H A, I, N, like off the chain.

[F]

No, no, I'm not oriental at all.

[A]

800. 800. 7234. I, I, I really had, I really had you as a Chinese guy driving a diesel truck named Chain. That's Chan Chan Chan. There's a difference between Chain and Chan Chan.

[F]

After that movie in the 70s.

[A]

16F250 diesel Lariat with 72, 000 miles. Crew cab, leather, nav. What color?

[F]

White. It's the bright white.

[A]

Does 35 grand, 36 grand do it? No, no. Hell no.

[B]

Hell.

[A]

Oh, hell no.

[E]

No.

[F]

Christmas time. Come on now.

[A]

What's it take to buy it, you old cheap bastard?

[F]

I'm, I'm about 39 too.

[A]

Okay. Does it have a sunroof?

[F]

I'm sorry?

[A]

Does it have a sunroof?

[F]

No, sir. Everything but a sunroof.

[A]

Does it. So it's got factory navigation?

[F]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Why? Does it have any? Is there anything wrong with it?

[F]

Is there any what?

[A]

Anything wrong with it?

[F]

No, sir.

[A]

Why the two?

[F]

There's a little, there's a little small scratch on the driver's seat in the middle, toward the back.

[A]

Why the two? 39 two. Why two?

[F]

I don't know. That 200 just sound good. I was gonna negotiate the two.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

He wanted some wiggle room.

[A]

Go to givemetheven.com. load it up, take pictures. Let me fall in love with it. Put on there. Takes 392 and then put. Not 39 1. So they'll, they'll remember who you are.

[F]

49, 150.

[A]

They'll, they'll send it to me.

[C]

What color was it?

[A]

White.

[D]

White.

[C]

I just want to hear him say it.

[A]

It's off the chain.

[F]

It does have a hidden gooseneck hitch, if that helps.

[A]

B W Rollover hitch. God dang.

[F]

Well, you can haul your horses to sell.

[A]

You haul your fat woman to the auction and sell her off by the pound with a bumper pool. My name is John Clay Wolf, and I buy trucks that are off the chain. On the radio. Robbie. Baton Rouge, Louisiana I. E. Good morning.

[F]

Hey, how's it going?

[A]

Good. Are you a shrimper?

[F]

No, but I can eat the hell out of some shrimp.

[A]

Are you wearing your white shrimper boots and your bowie knife? Strapped your leg right now?

[F]

No, I'm more of a city kitty.

[A]

17F150Xlt. 45,000 miles. What's your payoff?

[F]

I'm right at 33.

[A]

5.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's two wheel drive. You're gonna be upside down. I can tell you that right now.

[F]

Oh, I knew that.

[A]

Okay. I just want to make my stipend.

[C]

So I Gotta get, get rid of it.

[A]

Go to givemetheven.com, load it up. We have a 60 second bid. So in 60 seconds from the time you log in, you can have your number, take a couple of pictures. The form is that that for short. I want you to try it on the Internet. It's faster than calling into the radio. Givemetheven.com 800-800-7234. Kenny. Austin, Texas, good morning. I didn't know we're on an Austin. Are we on in Austin in the 8 o' clock hour?

[B]

I think so, yeah.

[F]

Yes, sir.

[E]

All right.

[A]

What, what station? The sports station?

[F]

Yes, Sir.

[A]

Cool. Well, 171,000 miles on a Hyundai. Were you wanting to give up on the kid? And the car.

[F]

Just bought a brand new something else. So it's just sitting in the driveway.

[A]

I think it's a $1,500 ride.

[F]

How much?

[A]

1500. Okay, go to, give me the vin.com, load it up, we'll come pick it up and we'll sell it. I'll, I, I'll do a side bet with you on 100 that the car winds up across the border in Mexico within 90 days.

[F]

It could be, I mean the thing is spotless, doesn't have a scratch on it. My wife took.

[A]

Your next trip to, your next trip to Punta Kunta. It'll be the taxi.

[B]

Where's that?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

That just east of Guadalajara.

[A]

It's something like that. All right. Kenny. 800-800-723-4, David. A 14 key optimum with 51,000 miles is a leather cloth. Dave, Dave. Super Dave. Just go, just go to givemetheven.com and load it up. It's just an old. Oh, now this car wasn't worth anything back when it was new. Put them on old the 04 Monte Carlo SS with the, with the Dale Earnhardt edition.

[C]

Oh, I mean that didn't have the V8 in it.

[A]

He's got to be from Oklahoma. Yes, Jimmy. Hell yeah. Rock and roll. You there?

[F]

Yeah, bud.

[A]

All right. The Dale Earnhardt edition. How long have you had it?

[F]

We bought my, my dad bought a new off the showroom floor, 2004.

[A]

Where's dad? Where's your dad?

[F]

He passed away. He passed away.

[A]

How long ago?

[F]

Five years.

[A]

Okay, that lets me know that you are not a crackhead. You're a real guy. So you took care of this car because if you work, if you said five minutes, if your dad passed away five minutes ago, then yeah, we get title issues. Even then you, you, you you know, it's a different kind of guy. All right, so we got a. The car's one owner. Everything's perfect. What color is it?

[F]

Red.

[A]

I haven't seen that car in so long, I forgot what they look like. Look old. All right, is. Is the title work done? I mean, are you the heir of the estate, or would we be writing the check to your mom, or can we write the check to the guy on the title and y' all deposited one of his trust accounts?

[F]

My s. My sister. Title. That's her. She got it just in her hair. She wants to sell it.

[A]

Okay. She wants to sell it. All right, so it's a Monte Carlo SS.

[C]

What year?

[A]

04.

[D]

How many miles is it?

[A]

Supercharged.

[C]

Oh, God, no.

[B]

SS.

[A]

They made a supercharged in 04.

[F]

Yeah, it is supercharged.

[C]

Oh, it is.

[A]

And what makes. Okay, I want you to go to givemetheven.com and load this car up and get the VIN number so I can bid it right. And you're in Oklahoma. So because the VIN number let me know exactly what is. I don't want to bid it as a supercharge and not be a supercharged. It's a different deal. Okay, does five grand buy. I guess enough. Does five grand buy it.

[F]

Out? Five grand is in.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Hello?

[A]

Yeah. So what. What do you think this car's worth?

[F]

About 18.

[C]

What?

[A]

He thinks 18. It's not old enough. I mean, what's it 04 Corvette worth with 40, 000 miles?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

10.

[F]

I don't know.

[A]

I do. It's more than that and that. So, I mean, I sold. I mean 04 vet with 40, 000 miles. No, four. That's the last year. That old body style C4, and it's worth 14, 13 grand. You've got a Monte Carlo.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I think your car's worth five, six, seven grand. I think it's five, six, seven grand. It. Go shop around, get educated. Figure out that I'm telling the truth and then come. Come see us. Give me the VIN dot com. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio Mike in Baton Rouge.

[F]

Hey, man, how you doing?

[A]

I'm good. How are you?

[F]

Oh, real good. Merry Christmas.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

Merry Christmas.

[A]

Happy holiday. Wash balls of Jew. Be careful.

[F]

You were talking about them white boots.

[A]

Yeah, white shiver boots.

[F]

Yeah. You know what they are over here?

[E]

Huh?

[A]

Well, they're like the state flag.

[F]

They're air boudreaus.

[A]

That's how you can tell if somebody's from Louisiana when you're skiing this season. If they're wearing full camo and in a pre ski, they have on white shrimper boots and a bowie knife. They're from southern Louisiana, all right. And in Louisiana, if you're not drinking and screwing, then you're just visiting. My name is John Claywolf, and we buy cars on the radio all over. Good morning, California. Good morning, Las Vegas. Good morning, Temecula. We'll be back a second.

[B]

And now, the John Claywell show is proud to congratulate 2019 Rock and Roll hall of Fame inductee, Brian Theory and Roxy Music.

[E]

Yay.

[B]

Damn minute.

[A]

Hey, hold it.

[B]

Turn that off. Get out of here.

[A]

What?

[B]

This ain't that kind of show.

[A]

I've never.

[B]

Play me some rock and roll. Give me a shot of that tequila, Billy. That's how we do it down home, boys. And live from Dallas, Texas, it's Saturday morning. It's the John Clay Wolf show, starring John Clay Wolf with JD Ryan, Michael Turley and Bobby Brown. And featuring DJ Limbo, Randy the Chipmunk, and Satan, the Prince of Darkness. And now your host, John Clay Wolf.

[A]

Bob, I thought that intro was good. I need some more wildflower. Turley, do you have any more of that? You can't start the wildflower guitar like in the.

[B]

Kill it. Charlie's got a funny sensibility, but, you know, I trust his instinct.

[A]

Angry around Christmas time because he's Jewish and he just has a bad vibe about some things happened in the past.

[B]

That's funny. He doesn't look Jewish.

[A]

He's very Jewish.

[C]

He hasn't been happy since the election.

[D]

Oh, no, I've been fine. Actually, quite the opposite.

[B]

Oh, man. Are we gonna do politics?

[A]

Y' all shut up. Candace and Dallas, good morning. A 14 Cadillac CTS. Luxury. Luxury. So it's a two door, four door. It's a four door, four door CTS. Okay, and what color? It's black on black. Is it a wagon?

[F]

No, it's not a wagon. It's a.

[A]

It's a. It's a sedan. Okay. It's not a V. God, I love those. If anybody has a cts v wagon, please go to givemetheven.com I can damn near give retail for them.

[C]

It's a unicorn, man.

[A]

It is. I bought one in northern Los Angeles, like Calabasas, two weeks ago. And we sold it in Dallas on pictures. Checked it into the Southern Cal. Southern Cal Auto Auction. A lot of these cars, we bring them home back to Dallas. And I was like, let's try a postcard on this. And the tires were in the back. And people like, you're so stupid. It'll never work. It's sold. It made a profit on the. On freaking simulcast.

[C]

What a great car for your kid. Old car to give a station wagon 49, 000 miles.

[A]

Leather roof nav.

[F]

Brand new tires.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Mid teens. Leather roof nav. Leather roof nav. Leather roof nib. Mid teens. Just throw 15 grand on it.

[F]

Okay. No, I'm looking for 19 8.

[A]

Why 19 8?

[F]

Well, I was called out of the blue from the dealership I purchased it from and was offered 18.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

And so my dad called this morning, shout out to Brian Collins and said, call him now, Candace. So that's what I'm doing.

[A]

Well, let me. So the dealership, that is a marketing tool that they use. They go through their list, they go through their database and they call people and throw high numbers at them to get them back into the dealership so that they can sell you a new one. And they know it's worth 15 grand, maybe 16. And they get. They show on paper a couple thousand more to get the hook set in your mouth and then they flip it into the next one. Not saying it's dumb. It's actually a good tactic, but your dad's telling you to call me for the truth, and I'm telling you the truth.

[F]

Well, I do appreciate.

[A]

Yes, ma'.

[E]

Am.

[A]

800. 800-723-4. A 13 Nismo with 12,000 miles. Good morning, Sam.

[F]

What's going on?

[A]

Not much. So It's a Nissan 333 70Z. What color? Most of those are sticks. Is this a matic or a stick?

[F]

It's stick. It's six feet. It's garage cab, and we hardly ever used it, man. I mean, it still has the new car.

[A]

It doesn't have any miles on it. Did you buy new?

[F]

Yeah, brand new. Actually got flatbed it in from Louisiana because we wanted that specific color. So, yeah, it's been blocked.

[A]

I mean, I don't know. I haven't bought that car. And a 13.3cent at Denise Mode. 20 grand, does that sound right?

[F]

Oh, man. I think you hit me at close to 25 a couple months ago, and I only put about a thousand miles.

[A]

Okay, so why didn't you take the 25 back then? I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but it's an honest question.

[F]

But I just wasn't sure I wanted.

[C]

To get rid of it.

[F]

And now it's just. I want to Z1. I really want to be a one.

[A]

So I've got a Z01. I've got a good green one, a new one. It's like 51 grand. And then we had one get wrecked yesterday. We had another ZL one get wrecked. And I've got a convertible. Do you want a convertible Z01?

[F]

No.

[A]

It's 30. It's 33 grand. Okay. I don't. I don't do retail deals with people. I'm. I'm offering you. So I'll do. I'll do a ZL1 and 10 GS. Yep. Go to givemetheven.com. tell them to send it to me if you want to do it. I'll get you. And I'm changing it up on you because I tried to buy it last time. You didn't sell it. You're not gonna sell it this time until you find what you want. So I've got what you want. I'll do. I'll do a. I'll swap. Swap with you in 10 G's. And don't tell anybody because I don't. I don't sell cars to the public. I haven't. I don't think. Bob, in the years you've been on, I don't think I've ever done this. No, no, I'll do that.

[F]

I thought you didn't sell them to the public.

[A]

I don't. So this isn't happening. So I'll. I'll do a Z1. Z1 and 10 GS for the Nismo. Go to. Give me the vin.com if you want to do it. Yeah.

[B]

That's not like selling. That's a swap. That's a deal.

[A]

That's like a swinger deal.

[B]

That's what fellas do.

[E]

Baba.

[A]

We remind me to talk about swinger deals since you moved to Iowa. And I want to hear about corn fed stuff. Brian. Oklahoma City. Positive review. Brian, are you there?

[F]

Hello?

[A]

Hey. Hey.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like we called him.

[F]

Hey. Thank you.

[A]

For what?

[F]

For us buying my car that I sold to you guys this week.

[A]

What was it?

[F]

It's been a Great. Been a 2010 jobs challenger. You guys matched and went over by a hundred dollars what carmax offered me. Great deal.

[A]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Speaking to get you some. We had some office party drama this week.

[B]

Don't we always?

[A]

We always do. We always do.

[B]

Annual Christmas soccer.

[C]

Was it in the office the party or.

[A]

No. I wanted to do the Wolf of Wall street office party that they had.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And my can. My accounting lady slash hr. She really, really had strong feelings about not doing that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She gave me all the reasons and, like, what my exposure would be with having. I wanted to recreate that party. The throw the midgets against the dartboard, the whole thing. No drugs. I don't really do drugs. We just talk about it.

[B]

We weren't going to use little people. We were going to use goats. And she wouldn't even go for that.

[C]

And the one thing I learned was what kind of hookers take credit cards? Apparently really good ones.

[B]

They're really good ones.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes. I. I didn't know that. Yeah, I thought that was just awesome.

[D]

Yeah, it was. I. I didn't get to go to this afterparty.

[A]

Why?

[D]

Well, because I have to work, John, and I'm not responsible.

[A]

He's not going to be out there.

[D]

Till two in the morning. But Max, one of our buyers, Country Max, he comes in and he's like, hey, man, am I fired? I. I hit somebody. I'm like, what?

[A]

So you're in the. So the next Thursday morning, you're in here just working.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And Country Max comes in and says, hey, am I fired? I hit somebody. That's all. That's the first you heard of this?

[D]

First I heard of it. I'm like, what are you talking about? I mean, I hit some guy named Sideshow Bob, and I don't. He may be homosexual. I'm sorry, man. I was like, what are you talking about, homosexual? And then Bigs or our. One of our buyers, Lieutenant Dan, called, and he's like, hey, man, Max. Country Max hit somebody at the Christmas party. He's like, oh, my God. Yeah, I'm just finding out about this now. And so the story then goes even further with Kyle, one of our managers. He actually explains the whole thing to us.

[C]

So did he knock somebody out or was it with a car? What? What?

[D]

Apparently, Country Max didn't really like, I guess, what Sideshow Bob was wearing, or he thought he was homosexual. I don't know what it was.

[A]

Big Shot Bob had on one of those stupid Christmas blazers.

[C]

I get it. Snowflakes Red.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[D]

Oh, that's why he was calling him homosexual. Okay, okay, that makes sense.

[A]

That has nothing to do with being homosexual.

[C]

That's a more of a sexual thing thing, isn't it?

[A]

It's just, you know, all. All. I almost said races. That's not what I meant. Oh, rednecks identifiers can wear that.

[B]

It's like a Mr. Howell jacket, you know, it's like a rich bourgeois.

[A]

I was standing at the bar with them and Max had just told me about his talents, and there's nothing better at the Christmas party to have a good guy or any guy pull the boss to the side and tell you how good they are.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[A]

How undervalued they are and how much better they are than the people that they work for.

[C]

We need to talk after the show, by the way.

[A]

So he gave me the whole load down of how he's underutilized and how he's. He's really on, you know, I really need to put more faith in him. He's really building this up. I need to look at him in a different light.

[C]

And your phone really needed to ring right there.

[A]

I see you in a different light. Didn't one of the country guys sing that?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so, okay, Mark Chestnut, I think Doug Stone. Doug Stone. But I would have been better off in a pine box after this one. He tells me about how great he is and how I need to change and I need. He's better than he used to be because he's had some problems. I've known the guy since high school and don't say his name.

[C]

All right?

[A]

And countryman. And we. We get. You know, we kind of hug and. Yeah, you're right, Max. And we're going to do this different, right? I'm going to look. I'm going to take what you said into serious consideration.

[C]

See you in a new light.

[A]

Right? So I'm sitting there talking to big shot Bob, and he's talking about something, says something about country people. I forgot what it was.

[B]

Country folk.

[A]

Country folk. And Max jumps up. What are. What are you saying about country people? Hey, what do you mean? It's exactly the typical drunk redneck reply.

[E]

Who.

[A]

Who the hell you talking about? Cuz you explicitly. Custody. And Bob's like, dude, I'm not talking about you. I'm like, max, you went to high school with me. You. You're wearing a polo hat. You're not country.

[C]

Max was wearing it on a sleeve that night.

[A]

Yeah, he's wearing a polo hat. He, like, maybe lives out in the country, but he lives in town.

[C]

It's just.

[A]

That's just affordable housing. That's not country. So anyway, I finally told them to shut up. Everybody sit down. And. And I'm sitting there talking to big shot Bob, and then just out of nowhere, Max comes up and does the sidewinder blind hit.

[C]

In.

[A]

In the face.

[B]

In the face.

[A]

And Bob took. Takes the hit, tries to shake it off.

[C]

Does he go down or stand up?

[A]

Bob's about 286. Five, maybe six. Six with my build, but bigger. This guy's. I mean, he's. So he looked up and he said, somebody get this guy the hell out of here. I was like, that's pretty cool. So the bartenders grabbed him, threw him out in the parking lot. And then Max starts bowing up and hollering, you'll get your ass out here. Get him outside. Get his ass outside. I'm gonna tear him a new one. I'm gonna show him what chicken fried ass kicking feels like. You know, taking his shirt off and stuff, right? He's in the parking lot and then people are coming in the bar. They're like, where's big shot Bob, man? There you're getting called and your mama's getting called names and you're getting every this buys fix and whip somebody's ass. Get you some. Exactly. And I'm like, bob, if you go out there, you're gonna hurt him. And yes, Max, he would have hurt you.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Oh, oh, Bob's a bad. I was running ecstasy with Bob out of Austin back in 87.

[A]

And then.

[E]

And.

[A]

And then the cops are gonna come and Max is gonna go to jail and Bob's gonna get arrested. I'm gonna wind up having to pay for all of them. Yeah, didn't have that in the Christmas party budget.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

My entertainment. I was entertained at this point to a height. We needed to chop it right there and just let it be.

[C]

And you'd spend enough money on penicillin for all your friends.

[A]

800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. We'll be right back. A little bit more of this and then, Kyle, I gotta take you that.

[B]

Part of the story.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. She gave him a right cross.

[C]

Every year, once you get right past.

[A]

Yom Kippur, hit him up right now. 1-800-800-Radio. We're gonna go over to London and jam with Mick and the Stones, man, which is very ironic. This is the John Clay Wolf Show. JD Is on a cruise right now. Know if anybody's wondering where he is, he's on a boat. Mf. We're going to look at him. Good morning, Bob.

[B]

What are you, gay, man?

[A]

So back to the story.

[B]

Okay, Max drunk Max drunk Max country. Max drunk country Max socked.

[A]

Big shot. Big shot Bob big shot in a bar.

[B]

In the after. In the party. After party. I didn't make it to the after party either.

[A]

After the Christmas party at the dinner thing we had.

[B]

And apparently it turned into a row, like a real live Row.

[A]

Yeah. And so they had a meltdown and. And it was entertaining. Nobody got hurt. Big Shot Bob literally took one for the team and that.

[B]

And you got to admire that. Now, what I've noticed over many, many years, like more than 10 years now, you know who's always present but never directly involved in these altercations when they occur.

[A]

Who?

[B]

White boy Kyle.

[A]

White boy Kyle is always around. And he was part of this, too. It's funny you bring that up.

[B]

He is. He's always there.

[D]

So he's one of the managers.

[A]

You know what's ironic is Lt. Dan did not want to go to the Christmas party because. Let me finish this, Charlie.

[D]

He made a business decision.

[A]

Yeah. He said, I know that something's gonna happen and it's gonna all wind up on the radio on Saturday morning and I don't want to be any part of it.

[B]

He was right.

[A]

And he was very, very right. He's a wise, wise, wise soul. So White Boy Kyle was there and I haven't heard white. I haven't talked to White boy Kyle since the Christmas party. But after we left, okay, so the fight broke out. It was one shot fight. Max hit Drunk Max hit Big Shot Bob, and Bob took it and didn't. Didn't fight back, which was really nice. And I'm not saying that Bob could have whooped Max in a sober state, I don't know. But Drunk Max was way too drunk to be beating up Bob. Bob would have killed him just because of the drunk factor. And Big shot Bob has challenged Drunk Max to a redo.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

But like a formal one. And I would, you know, we could do that with the show. We could do that on a Saturday after the show. A boxing match.

[B]

Hold on. Like gloves.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Because I know Drunk Country Max really feels strongly that he could whip Big Shot Bob.

[B]

Where would you do that?

[A]

And I feel that he's wrong.

[D]

I know. I'll put some money on it with you.

[A]

Do you think he's right?

[D]

I think Countryman.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So just this is, I don't know, Sideshow Bob from anything, but whatever, Big Shot Bob. But if somebody hits you and you don't hit back, and I know you're trying to be the better man and all that. I'm sorry, there's some points you just. If somebody sucker punches you, which is a cheap move to do, right. You hit back.

[A]

You just.

[D]

You just hit back. I'm sorry. Okay, so if this guy can't do that, how is he going to be?

[A]

Country instinct is not to fire back.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Then you think Country Max is vicious.

[D]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Vicious soul will tear him to pieces.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

We will see if he possesses the restraint that it requires to not to one not fall down and to keep his cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know he last.

[A]

There's something to be said for don't piss off a really nice guy.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially when they're six six two eighty.

[B]

You know the best.

[A]

And 28 years old.

[B]

You know the best time and place to have this rematch?

[C]

Where?

[B]

High noon inside of Cici's Pizza.

[A]

Stupid, stupid. Just staying stupid stuff, that's where. So big shot Bob is a wannabe coon ass and he lives in Monroe.

[B]

Oh really?

[A]

So we. But anyway, so we leave the bar. Glenn's driving because my old lady hauled earlier. She took my car, thank Jesus. And I'm riding with Glenn. And then Kyle, somebody's driving him, right? Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. So we get to my house and I'm like, you can stay on my couch, Kyle. Because he lives an hour and a half away. I was like, you can just go up to the club in the morning and shower. He to was trying trash to go to Bushwood. Kyle was trash. Kyle was trash. So Glenn dropped us off, we left. Glenn leaves, goes home and I tell Kyle, go through the house, the office over there's a couch in the office. Cool. And then I look up and Kyle's walking down the street. Walking down the street.

[B]

Made an escape.

[A]

He made an escape. He was not done partying yet. So he calls me in about five minutes. I'm like, what? He's like, I'm lost. Like, that's a you problem, Kyle. That's a you problem. I'm not gonna go track. Can you come get me? No, no, I'm. I'm in bed. I'm done. I told you, you were right there with me. You're so drunk, you walked off down the street. Now who knows where the hell are you? So I sent him my address. I said here's the address. I'm gonna text it to you. You know it's 2:30 in the morning. You figure out how to get here? The. The door's open. Okay. That's all I heard from Kyle. 6:00am I'm asleep. Been asleep since 2:30 in my house. Baby day, the 5 year old. The reason we call him Baby Dayday is because he couldn't say his name when he was 2 or 3. He called himself Dayday. So I just call him Baby dayday. Come and call 91 1. Call 911 what? What, what, what day? What's up? There's a dead man. There's a dead guy on the living room table, at the dining room table.

[C]

He's dead.

[A]

He's. He's fat and he's dead. Big fat guy is dead in our house called 91 1. I'm like, is that white boy fat boy Kyle? No, he's dead. I'm like, okay, hang on. So I get up and Kyle is asleep in a chair. In a chair at the dining room table.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

That's a hell of a sitting up. Oh, that's awesome. Sitting up.

[D]

That's a drunk man right there.

[A]

That's a drunk man scaring five year old children. So we walked him, woke him back up, walked him in the office, put him to bed, and I left. And I haven't heard it. I haven't talked to him since. What? So you said something happened? He did go to Bushwood?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

To bathe?

[D]

Yes. He needed to shower. And I guess we're telling.

[A]

Hang on. So we're telling stories of a company Christmas party and, and you know, it's a holiday weekend, man, so it's a little off color.

[D]

So the manager, this is Kyle, he's, you know, supposed to be in a time at 9 o', clock, right? 8:30.

[A]

We have an 8 o' clock conference call.

[D]

Yeah. Didn't hear him on that. 8:30. No, no, Kyle, his team's asking, where's he at? Where's he at? I think he stayed out pretty late last night.

[A]

So we'll give him daddy's got the flu.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

10 o' clock he.

[A]

Kyle shows up. Yeah.

[D]

Man, he just looked like hell. I mean, just red, sweaty. I. I'm like, man, what's wrong with you, man? I just had too much drinking. Too much drink. So where'd you just come from? I said, I came from Bushwood.

[A]

I was like, really?

[D]

I said, so what were you doing there? Well, John told me to go shower up there. So he showers in Bushwood? It's the country club that you're a member of.

[A]

Caddyshack.

[D]

Yeah, I don't, and I don't know how he got in, but he did. And so he asked after he does his shower, I guess. Apparently he was asked, hey, do you want to talk to Meline? He's like, what?

[A]

When he got done with his shower, Bushwood, Bush. Someone asked him, because you're in the men's locker room, there should be no Meline.

[D]

Well, he was told, hey, do you want to talk to me? Like, sure, Whatever. So apparently you have a massage that's on your bill.

[A]

Get the hell out of here.

[D]

He had a nice 30 minute massage.

[A]

Get the hell out of here. He did. Really?

[D]

And. Which was probably wise of him because I mean he still looked like hell. So if he didn't get that, it.

[C]

Would have been really.

[A]

I didn't know they gave massages up there. Do they do happy endings?

[D]

I don't know. I didn't.

[A]

I didn't call Madeline, but check on the price of straight and happy ending.

[D]

I did ask him.

[A]

Said.

[D]

Well, did you tip or anything? No, man, I just walked out. So, yeah, you're going to have a.

[A]

Nice little bill on your. It's going to be more there than it would in a normal place. Oh, God, yes. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh yeah. So just. Just a heads up.

[A]

So what time did he make it into the office?

[D]

10 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[A]

Yeah, but he was.

[E]

He.

[A]

He looked like hell after a steam.

[D]

Even after steam in the shower. Yeah.

[A]

Did he throw up? No.

[D]

He did take a nap at the front couch where our customers come in, sleep at different.

[A]

At odd places. It was. He's that talent.

[D]

Yeah. Customer came in and. Hey man, I'm here to sell my car. Sleeping on the couch.

[A]

Put it on the website. Leave me alone. Go away, angry Santa. Oh yeah.

[D]

I'm glad I didn't go to that afterparty. That's all I got to say.

[B]

It was a great party though.

[D]

Yeah, no, it was cool.

[A]

There was.

[D]

It was good food and. Good, good.

[A]

Well, I'd heard that Hooter's wife was the one that instigated Max.

[B]

No, that's an excuse, man.

[D]

Yeah, I mean he. He claims that he was fed shots by Hoot's wife. But you know what? You have to take the shots.

[A]

Hoot's wife can throw him down. Do you know her?

[D]

Oh, I've met her.

[C]

She's.

[D]

She's great. She is a ball.

[A]

Yeah, she's great. She could out drink drunk Max myself. Big shot Bob. She's got a hollow leg and she's a. She's a tall woman. So she wears her liquor, you know. There's a lot there.

[B]

You bet. Dancing fool.

[A]

She's like six foot tall. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Steven Houston. A 15 Silverado Texas edition with 18,000 miles. Is it leather or cloth? Steve? Houston, Steve. Go to the website. Givemethe vin.com. we'll be right back. We now return to the John Clay Wolf show. They're going to give us The Sphincter test. Call in 800-800-RODIO. This is the John Clay Wolf Show. If you missed the Christmas party story, it's. It's the last couple segments. You got to go to the podcast. It'll be up at one o' clock and grab it. It's good stuff.

[B]

Okay, John. Rock and Roll hall of Fame Cure. Yay or nay?

[A]

Very much yay.

[B]

You like them?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

When I was, like, a junior senior in high school, all those freshmen and sophomore girls love the Cure.

[A]

Which song is this? In Between Days. No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good song.

[B]

Kind of carsy.

[A]

Yep, yep, Yep, yep, yep. 800-800-7 2, 3, 4. Laverne and Shirley. Penny Marshall died. Do you have any. Do you have an intro to her?

[B]

Laverne and Shirley, We've got some cool stuff, man. You know, Penny Marshall was also a director. After that show is off the air, and we've got what we call the Marshall Test. We've got clips from three films that she directed. See if you can name them.

[A]

All right. I want to spend the night with you. Do you mean Sleepover? Well, yeah. Okay.

[B]

But I get to be on top. What's the name of that movie?

[A]

No, I do. Real idea.

[D]

Really?

[B]

You're not playing again?

[A]

Sounds like Chevy Chase. I want to spend the night with you. Do you mean Sleepover? Well, yeah. Okay.

[B]

But I get to be on top.

[A]

Step Brothers. Will Ferrell, Elf.

[B]

Tom Hanks.

[C]

Tom Hanks.

[B]

Toy Makes a Wish to.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. Big.

[C]

Do I get to be on top?

[D]

Next one.

[A]

Are you crying? No. Are you crying? Why are you crying? There's no crying. There's no crying in baseball.

[C]

Tom Hanks.

[B]

Leave her alone, Jimmy.

[A]

Oh, you zip it.

[C]

Doris.

[B]

What's the name of that movie Madonna was in?

[A]

The right? Yes. League of Their Own.

[B]

League of Their Own.

[D]

I didn't know she directed that.

[A]

I didn't either.

[D]

Either in the last one.

[A]

We've got to remind them. We've got to remind them how good it is. How good what is, Leonard? People have forgotten what life is all about. They've forgotten what it is to be alive.

[D]

It's a tough one, Leonard.

[A]

I know it. I know it.

[B]

Yeah. Robin Williams and Robert. Robert De Niro.

[D]

Play it again.

[A]

We've got to remind them. We've got to remind them how good it is.

[B]

How good what is, Leonard?

[A]

People have forgotten what life is all about. They've forgotten what it is to be alive. Good Will Hunting.

[B]

No.

[C]

Good shot, though. That's right.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the one we don't have any prize. What's the one where they're at the boys school?

[B]

No, it's not that one. Robert De Niro goes into a coma as a child and he wakes up when he's like 40 and Robin Williams is his doctor.

[C]

Oh, he's like. Yeah.

[B]

It's called Awakenings.

[A]

Okay. I didn't see it.

[B]

Yeah. Penny Marshall directed those.

[A]

James San Antonio 04F150 with 157,000 miles extended cab average. Rougher, clean.

[F]

It's a good shape. It's sad a lot. I'll drive a big truck in a week. So it just sits during the week. Patients on the weekend going into work.

[A]

Sits during the week. Sits is what the man said. S I T s. I'm a $2,500 buyer. 2500. Go to give me the vin.com. let's look. Steve in Houston. A 15 Texas edition with 18,000 miles. Is it leather? Steve, this is the second time I've gone to you. Are you there?

[F]

Say that again.

[A]

Hey, we just go to giveme the vin.com and load this car up. I think it's 20 grand. Give me the vin.com, put the VIN number, license plate number in couple pictures and we'll confirm that. Thanks. 800-800-7234. Haven't had any heavies this morning. You know, moron cars. The hundred thousand dollar stuff. Yeah, yeah. I'll take some of. I've got a McLaren. I've got a gull wing SLS. I like putting together these groups of heavy cars and then selling them all as one. Because when you have a big group of them, it brings in more buyers that buy that kind of stuff.

[B]

Stuff.

[A]

And you can make a profit, hopefully, is the idea. 800-800-7234. 100 granders big corvettes, badass, you know.

[C]

Supercars, y' all through the the power hour.

[A]

What's the power hour?

[D]

Oh, man, he's. This has been a long time, man.

[C]

We would. We would do car runs and we would. At first it was how many bids could we get out on the lightning round? In the lightning round. And then we did sound and then Turley flipped it and went for sheer volume number. How many millions of dollars of cars could we.

[A]

Oh yeah, it's been a while.

[C]

And so a fluke. I didn't know Turley had flipped the script. And I called in and you didn't know it was me.

[A]

This is washable.

[C]

I called and it was me.

[A]

Old friend of the show.

[C]

2013 BMW M6 Twin Turbo. Danoned out. You needed the car to win because you bet and I hadn't been listening. I just called on the fluke just to.

[A]

So fake. Yeah, thanks.

[C]

And anyway. Anyway, you gave me a great price, so I went up and bought one down the streets. I knew how much more it was worth. So do y' all do that anymore or not?

[A]

We just do like one minute. One minute hits that the. The lightning rounds the show. We're on so many stations now, it's just changed. We kind of took the Nooner and the old show and mixed it even more. Wash was a co host on the Nooner back nine years ago when we were doing a weekday show and changed my marriage. Yeah. And then there's a couple of songs in. In a. You know, we've got four songs an hour or something.

[D]

Guy talk with some car sprinkled in.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, think about. Think about Twin Peaks.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You know, it's good food, good drinks, with some boobs sprinkled in. Do you. Oh, you have pictures of Twin Peaks.

[C]

Yes. I'm gonna show you.

[A]

White Boy Kyle is in the house. Good morning, White Boy Kyle.

[B]

Good morning, sir.

[A]

So did you hear my rendition of the Christmas Party?

[B]

A little bit.

[A]

Did you hear the part about you when you got out of the car and you walked off at my house? Let me refresh your memory real quick. So we left the bar after the wreck. I mean, after the fight. Drunk Max and Country. No, Country Max and in a. Big Shot Bob. Big Shot Bob Wash. I'm trying to do a show. I can't look at that stuff I'm doing face down. Yeah, come on, dude. You're out of. You're out of balance. It's been too long. Kenny Powers lost his fastball. I'm doing a radio program. We have half a million listeners right now. If you're showing me cue cards of naked girls, it throws me off.

[C]

I'm from Iowa.

[A]

Imagine that. Back to White Boy Kyle. Okay, so we brought you. You rode back with us. I said, you can stay at my house and then you can go to Bushwood and get a shower in the morning. Stay in the office, take a nap. Take a nap on the couch. So when Glenn let us out of the car, you walked off, walked down the street and walked. Walked down the driveway and walked off. And then you called me, you know, about five minutes later. Hey, man, I'm lost. I'm like, yeah, I bet you are. And I was like, I'm done. I'm not you're like, come get me. I said, no. I said, I'm going to text you my address, put it in your map, walk your ass back over here, go through the house, get on the couch, go to sleep. Okay? Now go to bed. So my son, baby Dadae, comes in about 6 o' clock in the morning screaming bloody murder, saying, call 91 1, call 91 1. There's a dead man in the dining room passed away. He's no longer with us. So my wife goes in there and confirms this. And she said that you were. You were asleep in a dining room, at the dining room table, in a chair, sitting up. Is that a true statement? And I asked her, it's not real. It didn't happen if you didn't get pictures. You got to get pictures of this. Think if I had pictures to put up with this right now. So, Kyle, what's your. So she said she got you up, walked you to the office, you went to sleep, and I haven't seen you in a room. And it was.

[B]

This is what happened. I was following Glenn and I lost Glenn.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In your neighborhood.

[A]

Why?

[B]

And because I had my car, he had hitar. I just had to get to your house. It was three miles away. And there we are. So I miss where he let you out. He's gone. And I'm, I'm. And your neighborhood's a little tricky. It's a bunch of culdesacks going everywhere and there's all these Tahoe police everywhere that big houses. And I was called, you called me. And I'm like, hey, man, there's.

[A]

I don't know where to go. Bob, get over here. So you texted me the location.

[B]

I finally got back and you said, go down the hall. This There, there. I'm going to bed by.

[A]

You stay over there. You're running that mic. You're in charge of it. Come here.

[B]

So by the. So by the time I get to the house, you're already in bed. So I'm, I'm. I'm making my way through the house that I halfway know. It's half under construction.

[A]

And.

[B]

And you got. All the doors are closed, so I, I. The guest room I normally stay in is.

[A]

Screw all that.

[B]

You have somebody in it. So I didn't know where to go. So I was, I was just.

[A]

You went to sleep in a chair in the dining room table.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Everything else was pretty accurate. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Do you remember the kids screaming, thinking you were dead?

[B]

No.

[C]

That's funny.

[B]

No, I probably was pretty close to. I was comatose I was. I was. Late night. But then I remember Jeanette walking me to the. To the. To the front office. And she.

[A]

She handed me a blanket and I.

[B]

Told her, thank you very much, and. And I snuggled up and. And took me a little nap and.

[C]

Your wife is beautiful. I mean, what. What nicer thing to wake up to this beautiful blonde hanging.

[B]

I don't remember the lapse of time, though.

[A]

That was the Swedish chef.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Did she speak to you in Danish or in English? That would have really thrown you off, wasn't it?

[B]

She wasn't. Look, she wasn't talking, buddy. I don't know.

[A]

Oh, God. Listen. Oh, wow. So there was a. There was a. All right.

[B]

She was very polite.

[A]

So then you went to River Crest. Did you. I mean, Bushwood. Did you really get a. Did you really get a massage?

[B]

The guy outside said, hey, would you.

[A]

Like to talk to this.

[B]

I think her name was Matt. That's what I kept thinking, Madeline.

[A]

It's like, sure.

[B]

And she had a massage chair there. Rubbed my shoulder out. I was like, I guess this is what golfers do.

[C]

She rubbed one out.

[A]

Drop that thing right out. Right in the.

[C]

Right out the front of the Turley.

[A]

800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. So did you have to sign a ticket for that?

[B]

Yeah, I signed your locker number and your name and I got a Coke and I was gonna eat, but I was like, you know what, I'm gonna go. I gotta get to the office.

[C]

Coke and a smile.

[A]

Did you get in the. In the steam room?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Good. All right. That was beautiful. John Gainesville 2000 suburb with 170s. Go to givemetheven.com it's so old. I need to see the pictures. But I can tell you after the pictures, it's going to be 1500 bucks. Jason Austin, a one tundra with 184 wheel drive. Crew cab. That's the old body style. It's a four door though. Average rough or clean?

[F]

I'd say average. Let me give you the. You want the good and the bad?

[A]

Yes.

[F]

Right. So we recently, let's see. Replace the radiator, got four new tires. It's got new shock struts, got a new battery, factory window tint, and it's a clean original. Owner. The bad probably need a new master brake cylinder. And my wife owned this thing in high school. So the front bumper, rear bun have some dents in it. Other than that, you probably get another 100,000 out of this thing, easy.

[A]

This three grand, buy it. Does three grand, buy it.

[F]

Three. No I almost sold it for 5,500 last year.

[A]

Almost.

[C]

Last year?

[A]

Almost.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Horseshoes and hand grenades. Okay, So I just almost. I mean, so, like, why didn't you.

[F]

Yeah, so we. My wife lost the title and it took me a year to get a clean title back from her dad. So.

[A]

He sounds like he's a troller. Does four grand buy it?

[F]

How much?

[A]

4,000.

[F]

No, six. All day.

[A]

All day. It's gone up in value. Go to givemetheven.com. we'll take a look. Put on there. Bring six grand all day, anywhere. Because, you know, because you're Jason, you live in Austin and you are the market maker of on 01 Toyota Tundras. We'll be back in.

[C]

What's the phone number? 800. 800 radio Y.

[A]

From the Wolf Radio Studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show, presented by. Gimme the vin.com now. John Clay Wolf. This is obvious. This is obviously a holiday show. We're completely breaking format. We're just getting into telling stories and having fun. Nobody's listening anyway.

[C]

Just half the many people Grace is listening.

[A]

Grace listening? Who's Grace?

[C]

Grace is a wonderful young lady that works at Twin Peaks.

[A]

Oh, is she somebody that you've been tipping over? Tipping?

[C]

I just. The tip.

[A]

She probably weighs a $o3.

[C]

Just a perfect 03.

[A]

So that's Washab. This is what happens when JD leaves.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

He keeps it all together. JD's gone. So we're all acting like the parents are out of town.

[B]

It's falling apart.

[A]

It's all falling apart. So we talked earlier about the Christmas party. Big shot Bob versus drunk country Max having a fight.

[C]

And it is the season, right?

[A]

Tis the season. It's the zombies. And welcome to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[B]

Now, why are you knocking Max? Why are you saying he has no, no right to that title of country Max?

[A]

Because here's what. So, so country Max was he. He hit big shot Bob because he was angry that Bob made a comment about country people. And all he said was like, well, you know those country people. And then Max, Pops, what are you saying about country people? What the hell's wrong with country people? He's talking like he's country and I'll fight over. Screw you. Who you talking to, boy? I'm like, max, you got a polo hat on and you went to high school with me in town. Why are you so. I mean, just because you moved out to Cleburne and you live in the city in Cleburne.

[C]

I mean, you drove A BMW?

[A]

Come on, I know who you are. I mean, I'm glad you're putting on this facade that you're, you know, Judd Clampin, you know, that live off the land. But. But I mean, come on. So we were talking about this earlier and. And then Max went. We've got Max here. He just walked upstairs to. He wanted to join in on the fun on the air. Max, good morning.

[C]

Good. Good morning.

[A]

Here's my question. So I've told this story too much on the air already. So you went back. I said, chill out, dude. Come on, go sit down. Okay, so you go sit down and you're sitting over there with Lisa. And 10 minutes pass, man, and we're just shooting up and da da, da, talking. And then Max comes out of nowhere with a haymaker and hit old big shot Bob right in the chin.

[C]

And big shot Bob's a big boy. He's huge.

[A]

That's why it didn't take him down. And Max had had too much to drink. So Max was only at half. Half. You were only at half of your efficiency. Is that a fair statement? That's a fair statement. So. But do you know what made you stand up and hit that man?

[C]

Probably fueled by whiskey.

[A]

But where was the fuel? Where was the. Where was the anger coming from? That's a bad breakup. Oh, you were mad about something else currently going on.

[C]

Oh, Houston personal whiskey and tequila.

[A]

So if big shot Bob was here today, what would you tell him? I'm sorry, man, I didn't. I. I don't even know what I'd say.

[B]

I'm just, well, here.

[A]

He's right here with us. Big shot. Are you on the phone?

[F]

Yeah, brother, I'm right here.

[A]

I think he. I think he's. He's. He's. Now you tell me your version of events. What was the whole country chicken fried thing about?

[F]

Okay. Do you said that our ring man Walker, Texas Ranger. Yeah, that's what he says when a hopped up, souped up sports car comes in. He says, I speed chicken feed. And I said, that is some country stuff.

[C]

That's right.

[F]

And that's when off the handle. And I was like, I said, brother, I'm more country than you. I live in a town of 30,000 people. You live in the city. What's going on? Relax. Well, we all know what else happened. He hit me with that week old punch.

[A]

The. Max. Max. I've known Max a long time and he is fighting in his soul. So if you know, you're. You obviously are 28 years old. You've got some youth on him. You've definitely got some size on him. He's going to have some speed on you. But if Max is sober, this could be a decent match. And if you guys are sporting enough, I think that we have a controlled environment because Max was out in the parking lot so upset, trying to call you out to fight in the parking lot. He really had a strong feeling about this. He really wanted. Do you remember that, Bob?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What was.

[C]

How many people were holding them back?

[A]

Me and Glenn.

[D]

So two people, two pretty good sized guys.

[B]

I put him in a full nelson, took him outside.

[A]

Well, but when he hit Bob, Bob just said, get that guy out of here.

[C]

That's the last thing you want to happen when you hit a guy.

[A]

And he says, he didn't say. He, he, he got him good. I was like, he didn't really hit you. He's like, yeah, he did. I'm like, okay, let's not do this. Because I didn't want everybody go to jail. And really being a selfish prick that I am, I didn't want to pay for everybody.

[C]

Right. I've seen you one hit one guy, though. Oh, God. With a pretty red Mustang. You knocked him out. You told me it was coming.

[A]

Yeah, in high school. Tell me the story real quick.

[C]

So two weeks led up to a party, and you said, I'm going to have to hit this guy. I'm going to have to hit this guy. I like the guy. He's got a really pretty Mustang gt. I love his car, but I'm going to have to hit him. And that's how calm the conversation went. So finally.

[A]

So we go to a party in.

[C]

High school out in Crowley, out in the country.

[A]

And was country Max there?

[C]

I don't remember seeing Max, but he might have been there probably. Anyway, the pretty red Mustang was outside the house. We pulled up and you looked at me, said, wash, I think I'm gonna have to hit this guy. And I see, you don't have to, Johnny. Anyway, so we get inside the house and Wolf, you're being cool. All of a sudden, the guy with the red mustache, off, he said something he shouldn't have said. And then the next day, you had a big white cast on your arm from where you knocked him out. Up and over the couch. It was a one hit. He did not even stand up.

[A]

I remember this.

[C]

I mean, you broke your. You'd been planning this hit for so long that you shattered your, your fist when you hit him in the jaw, knocked him over a couch. And then I said, wolfie, it's time to go.

[A]

What was his name?

[C]

I don't remember. I don't want to say for legal reasons, but he had a beautiful red Mustang gt.

[A]

What did he say to me? Do you remember?

[C]

It was girl it was.

[A]

Kept cocking off. Kept cocking off. Becky Bird.

[C]

Both you girl. Both you boys liked a girl.

[A]

That's funny. See, she was a pretty girl. It's the same. So big shot Bob and. Were big shot Bob and Max really fighting over Hooter's wife?

[C]

That's what I heard.

[A]

Is that what this was all about?

[C]

I heard she was feeding somebody whiskey.

[A]

Yeah, she was buying the whiskey. So Christmas parties, company Christmas parties. It's the same old story. We got in a fight instead of had a. No, no. I don't know of anyone that fell in love. I didn't see any of that.

[C]

Wish I was there.

[A]

Yeah, you could. You should have come. But it is the season. It is fun. So I don't. Max, do you want to rematch? Big shot Bomb in a sober state? Absolutely not.

[C]

I'd like to apologize to Bomb for two things.

[A]

First of all, that for my behavior.

[C]

And second of all for the weak punch.

[A]

It was definitely whiskey.

[F]

Someone didn't hit me with some power like Connie.

[D]

Yeah, it's definitely.

[B]

Was definitely fueled by whiskey.

[A]

Do you remember Connie shaking him down, Kyle? Yeah, she was all up in big shots grill. I mean she was giving him an undress and talking to Connie was there. Oh yeah, Connie.

[B]

Connie got shoved out of the way in the initially when he was like, hey you. And I was like, oh, what do we got here? When it started to go down, I.

[A]

Was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

Me and Connie and John are talking.

[A]

And here comes Max with the haymaker.

[C]

Oh my God. Bless Connie. She's seen a lot over there.

[A]

What was Connie. What was Connie's mission to you? She really gave you some coaching the other night, Bob. She called you names. She undressed you verbally?

[F]

Yeah. Oh yeah. No, she. She told me I needed to be more like you and less like a five year old girl. By with both hands and quit being nervous. Just do it. I was like, okay, I'll do whatever you tell me. Just don't. Don't yell at me anymore.

[A]

This is the office manager telling a buyer how he needs to do his craft. She's like, listen, I might just be a little 40 year old Mexican girl that doesn't know nothing, but you are underperforming. You have no balls. You have a plenty of talent. You got him, you got the money, you got all the power and you're doing nothing with it. Quit being such a girl and go to work. Oh, it was hilarious.

[C]

Sounds just like connie when she 4 foot 11.

[A]

We need to have her do the conference calls. All right, enough of that, big shot. Thank you, sir. Toby. And Galveston, a 14 Silverado, 63,000miles extended cab in. In navigation. What size wheels? 20 inch wheels or 18s?

[F]

20 inch wheels.

[A]

20 inch wheels on an extended cab. Not a crew cab, right?

[F]

Well, it's the Porter. I call it a crew cab because it's four door, but the back seat is not quite as big as the front. I call it something different than a crew cab.

[A]

Rush Limbaugh. What do you want? Why are you. You want this car? Why are you. Rush is in town today. I don't know if you knew that. Did you know Rush was here?

[C]

I did not know Rush was here.

[A]

Hang on. Rush, we've got a 14. Do you need a truck or something, John? Yes.

[B]

I'm gonna have to drive something back to Florida. I'm on the run myself. I had to fight myself at a holiday party. I don't know if you've heard the White House Christmas party this year was. I was a little low key. It's gotten a little, little downish around there. But every. Everybody was there. I got in a fist fight with.

[C]

Ann Coulter of all people.

[B]

But thank God I had Hannity there to pull me off her.

[C]

Yeah, he'd pull you off.

[B]

Just a crazy, crazy go around.

[A]

And Bill O'Reilly, what's your advice to Max and other people at Christmas parties how to handle it better? Look, you've been a professional drunk and pill popper for years.

[B]

Years, Max. Bobby, let it go. Let it go. Usually when these things. But I talked to Ann Sunday of last week and it's all over. And we're better friends now than we've ever been.

[C]

But we just.

[B]

And she got a. She got a couple of good looks in. If you could see my left eye right now. That's blowing up like a grapefruit. Thank goodness. I've got about a half bottle of Percocets left. That's why I've got to get home as quickly as possible. That truck sounds perfect for me. In fact, anything would be great.

[A]

He needs a ride home. Okay. 14 silver on a half ton. I think it's worth. I think it's worth. I think it's worth. I think it's worth 12. 13 grand. 13 grand. Toby, go to givemetheven.com let's look. Dump the VIN number, the license plate in and it'll. It'll bid it immediately and we'll.

[D]

We'll.

[A]

We'll contact you. My name is John Clay Wolf.

[C]

What's our phone number?

[A]

Forgive me, the.com 800, 800 radio. 800, 800 7234. And remember, just put your car in at the website and it will kick it. Kick you a number. Back in 60. Actually, it'll take 60 seconds for you to push submit and it'll immediately bid the car. The computer will be right back.

[B]

Christmas song I really can't stand but hey, it's cold outside I've got to go But Ronnie, it's cold outside this evening has been been hoping that you would drop in so very nice I'll hold your hands they're just like I. My mother will start to worry Beautiful watch you hurry hey my father will touch your ball My nuts are cold.

[A]

From the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Call John toll free 1-800-800-RADIO. Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have done this. I'm about to brush up on my Spanish.

[B]

My boy, you got crazy now.

[A]

John Clay Wolf. That's funny. Did somebody just try to break in the door? That's weird. No, no. Wash went and fixed it.

[B]

Turley and I dug up some of the old Ronnie James Dio stuff. Years passed this morning, so it was still pretty funny, man. I think. What was the. The do's greatest hits?

[A]

Fire. Fire, Helen Fire. Or is that. Was that Rob Halford?

[D]

No, no, I think you get him to confuse.

[A]

Do you have some clips?

[D]

Yeah, hold on, let me pull up. So some of the Christmas stuff is just ridiculous.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's Christmas time with the king of darkness.

[B]

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

[A]

Ronnie James Dio.

[B]

Roasting blazing with a.

[C]

Fire.

[B]

Jack Frost slicing at your nose. Christmas songs sung by a black rusted.

[C]

Choir.

[B]

Girls dressed down for rock and.

[C]

Roll.

[B]

Everybody know who roast duck and your mistletoe Harold and bake the seas of air. Little dudes with their wands all who glow will find it hard to sleep.

[A]

In the dark tonight oh, God. What the hell's he talking about? What's the other one? Giddy up, giddy up.

[B]

I'll whip you horses don't look at the snow Santa's house is where I want to go I'll whip that fat bastard into shape Take all of his toys Give them to the baddest girls and boys I'll take you horses.

[D]

He's just so mad.

[B]

He's got a twisted sensibility.

[D]

Silver bells.

[B]

Silver bells, Silver bells It's.

[A]

Christmas time down in the underworld. That's Bobbo doing Ronnie James Dio Christmas carols.

[B]

All right, man, we got some flack over that. Back in the day, all the headbangers were mad.

[A]

They were mad, they were angry. Oh yeah. How do you defame the master like this? You're going to have dm.

[D]

I think Satan, he didn't mind it too much.

[A]

Satan, what did you think? Satan, Are you there?

[C]

Well, I'll tell you, John, initially you want to be offended because Deal's a great guy, right? He said. And listen. And I've been playing table tennis for about 14000 years. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, hey, everybody. It's Satan, Prince of darkness. Hashtag big bad. Merry Christmas, Satan. How you doing? Washable. All right.

[A]

It's been a little while. He's getting divorced.

[C]

I'm. I'm on your list this year. You. You'll. You still donating blood every 60 days?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

All right. We have that deal? Yes. Don't screw me around again. Washable. Well, the weird thing was that you wanted to be hepatitis C positive. That was just strange. I understand. Hey, listen, I. I understand you. You're going through a bit of a breakup. Yes, I got the. I got a plan for you. All right. Do you wanna. Do you wanna.

[A]

Marriage counseling Consulting by Satan.

[C]

Nobody's done it more than me. Is the season before I get too.

[B]

Far off the the point.

[C]

Nobody ping pongs like Ronnie James Dio. He's the champ down here 14 years running. If you want to keep that woman, tell me how to keep strictly up to you. How do I do? Love is a mini splendid thing and all that what you do. You get her hooked on speed. Right? Right. And she's gonna one, lose weight two stay home. But she'll never go anywhere. Is that high speed chicken feed? No, no, no. That's just how many anything you can get prescribed. Okay. You know, it's not. It's not a big damn deal. So just whack her out speed and keep her the trailer. Yeah, Bill Cosby. It worked for him many times. Keep yourself stocked on Gatorade and toothpaste. You'll be all right.

[B]

I mean that.

[C]

That'll last you three or four years. Then you got to get her off of it. And that'll keep you together for sure. Right. Then she'll need my support. Right? What could possibly go Wrong. And. And if you succeed at this and you'll maybe offer some collateral. Like. Like her soul. Right, right, right. I can help you out. Okay. It'll be great. Can you teach her how to play table tennis? Sure. Oh, sure. Yeah, we're great. I can put her with Mance Manson. Yeah, no. Manson got most improved. This during our winter series. So. Anyway.

[A]

Strip club dj, you're on line five.

[C]

Merry Christmas, everyone.

[A]

Thanks, Satan.

[C]

Thanks Satan.

[A]

Strip club. What you doing?

[F]

Hey, John. I figured Happy holidays. First of all.

[A]

Thank you.

[F]

You're in a very good mood today out here. And I figured such good mood since your hard working Louisiana crew wasn't advised for the company party and maybe you'd spring for us to have one down here. I'm thinking Buddha and deer. Crawfish.

[A]

How's. How's Rob doing at the new location over there? Off airline. Next to Albertsons at the new. Give me the VIN store.

[F]

I'm sorry. One more time.

[C]

He broke up.

[A]

How's Rob doing managing the ship down there? Is he showing up on time? He's fine. The shop's looking good.

[F]

Just takes a little bit of decorating and we got it going.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

We.

[A]

So you want to have a Christmas party for the Baton Rouge? Give me the VIN staff.

[F]

Yeah, I figured why not? You know, we've been rolling rubber six days a week for over a year now.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

You're gonna get the call from Vegas next and then Houston.

[A]

I mean, see, and that was what was disappointing. I mean, only I really was. Only half of our people were there the other night.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Because they're. We've got people in Vegas. We've got big staff in Houston. We've got a pretty good sized staff in South. Global South, Louisiana. And then a lot of people didn't show up because they didn't want to screw up and wind up on the radio on Saturday like the other people did.

[C]

Right.

[A]

The. The. The experienced guys knew what was going to happen.

[D]

I like to think some people actually wanted to be up for work too.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Strip club. I. I'm feeling love in my heart for you right now.

[D]

What?

[A]

What? I can't make it down there.

[F]

So they'll just hop on your plane and come on down.

[A]

Do y' all just. I actually donated my plane to a charity for Operation Airdrop. Yeah.

[F]

Look at you. Full of Christmas spirit.

[A]

I know it. Little tax write off.

[C]

Yeah, tax write off.

[A]

But it was still. Still lopsided their way by a long shot. I don't know. Find a place. Here's what you do find a place down there. We'll talk about it on the air next week. And get them to get them, get them to get them to do it for free for the plugs on the air. So here's your pitch. Strip club. Go to walk ons or something and say, hey, you ever heard the Junkly wolf show? I mean we're pretty pop. We're more popular down there per capita than we are anywhere. And find, find somebody. Or if a restaurateurs listen right now you can call in and we'll set up a deal. And we've got about how many people are there? 10.

[F]

Oh no, we've got 1, 2, 3.

[C]

Rob.

[F]

4. We've got 4, maybe 5 people.

[A]

5 people. So dinner and drinks for 5 people. Little Christmas party.

[C]

Do they have a campis down there?

[A]

And we'll do a swap now for. And we'll talk about it on the air and give the guy some plugs. All right, cool, see? All right, 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[D]

I knew he was going to call.

[C]

What's the website?

[A]

Givemetheven.com. givemetheven.com you can put in your license plate number and it'll bid your car or your VIN number. The thing will decode from the license plate. It'll bust the VIN in automatically.

[C]

Will it pick up the options too, or do you have to put those in?

[A]

It takes the hard options off of the window sticker and it. If there's a question I'll ask you to verify it. Does it have this? You click that, click that. Put in your email address here, hit go. It'll bid the car right there. It'll tell you what will pay, how long. Instantaneous, really. So from zero to from the moment you go to give me the VIN to when you push submit and get a bid. 60 seconds.

[C]

All right, so then what do I do? I haven't been here since you've gotten so high tech.

[A]

Right? You're right. It says here's the number. Accept, decline or consider. Okay, if they hit accept, then we'll run and buy it. If you're not lying, I'm buying. It's just that easy. If you hit decline, it says what does it take to buy your car? And you say 20 grand. And the buyer will call you back. So I can't give 20 or I can't give 20 or whatever it is. If it's just considering. Then the same thing it says, what is, you know, what does it take? And so then there's that big group of people downstairs. Did you go downstairs?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Were you surprised?

[C]

Yeah. There's a lot of hard working people.

[A]

It's big. Yeah. So this thing's grown a lot.

[C]

It's a boiler room.

[A]

So those guys are calling in and negotiating with these sellers over text or email or phone or however the seller approved wants to do it. Give me givemetheven.com and then they do the deal. We dispatch the drivers. Eric, the guy that just called strip club, he's south Louisiana driver. Then we've got Rick and his company down in Houston. And then we've got uncle Roy here that's got a bunch of drivers. They go to Oklahoma and then out in Vegas. We have a location in Vegas now off Sahara Drive, right next to CarMax. If we don't beat your CarMax offer, we'll give you $100.

[C]

So we're getting close to Christmas. If somebody needs Christmas money. I mean, how long does it really take? 2 days, 3 days, 4 days, 5 days?

[A]

I mean we. In each location we have a check printer remotely. So Connie can fire off a check anywhere in the country. Yeah. We'll be back in a second. We now return to the John Clay.

[D]

Wolf show presented by gimmetheven.com.

[A]

Yeah, can you change the channel?

[B]

Kick your ass out.

[A]

Call in 800. 800 radio. Man, come on. I had a rough night. And I hate the Eagles, man. And now senor Juan Clay Wolf, he hates the eagles.

[B]

Don't mess. Don't mess with the Eagles, man.

[D]

The dude, man.

[A]

The dude. The dude. The dude. Dana.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

A 15 Avalon Hybrid Limited with 32,000 miles.

[F]

Correct.

[A]

All right. Is a 18, 9. 19 grand if it's a good color.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

It's pearl.

[A]

Do you want to sell it?

[F]

It's pearl Y.

[A]

Okay. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up. Let's roll. Thanks, Dana. Let's go. And you know who we haven't heard from. It's just not Christmas without him. Is our little chipmunk buddy. I know. He's been running around gathering up nuts for winter brandy. How has your winter been? Do you have a big enough stash?

[E]

Yeah, we got it, man. But you know, I've been doing this for years. I mean, you know, nuts is life and life is nuts. Well, I look at it. Way I look at it. Anyway, you. I'm a little pissed off lately.

[A]

About what?

[E]

Cuz that song.

[A]

What song?

[E]

That song. You know what I'm talking.

[C]

That song.

[A]

No, wait. What is a Christmas song?

[E]

Chestnut, Whiskey known and open fire you.

[A]

Sound like Alvin, your cousin, when you do that.

[E]

Everything. We learned to sing.

[A]

Do that one more time.

[E]

Learned sing together at church. Just not roasting on an open fire.

[A]

Keep going. My God.

[E]

It ain't funny.

[A]

Can you do a whole. I mean, you sound so good.

[E]

First of all, anybody roasting chestnut?

[A]

Here's $20. Will you sing me the first verse?

[E]

I don't know if I know it.

[A]

$20. Here it is.

[E]

Frost screwing with your nose. Little chipmunks with their eyes they're wishing they could see some sugar plums I don't know, okay? I.

[A]

Get lost for what are you pissed.

[E]

Off about that chestnut song? Anybody roasting chestnuts? The chestnut. Just speaking from it, you know, Genius and species wise does not require roasting. You know? I mean, you got your nuts stored up in the tree, right? They're not going to get cold anyway. You don't want them roasting hot. Can't even like that. You keep them warm. Because cold nuts means you're doing it wrong. So here's what you do. Leave your nuts alone, okay? And people just. They. They're over. They're over manipulating their nuts, okay? You get them in a tree, leave them alone.

[A]

Don't roast them.

[E]

No, never. Never. If you roast your nuts, you can overdo it. They don't need it. They don't require it. The what? The. The bad nuts are cold nuts. That's the only time. That's the only time you want to heat them up. If you store them right, it doesn't happen, okay? Don't even get me started on that old hide up in that guy's apartment. Say, what's in this drink? What a tease.

[D]

Maybe it's cold outside.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I hate that.

[E]

He's like, I gotta go. He's like, baby, it's cold outside. Trying to be nice. Make your drink. Peace.

[A]

Good to see you, man.

[E]

Big teas.

[A]

Merry Christmas.

[E]

Merry Christmas, everybody. Keep an eye on your nuts.

[A]

800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio Victor Houston. 15 half ton, 92,000 mile, two wheel drive, crew cab, leather navigation, GMC Sierra average. Rough or clean?

[F]

It's clean.

[A]

14 grand.

[F]

All right, sir. Appreciate your time.

[A]

Go to. Give me the VIN dot. Give me the VI N. Give me the vin dot com. The computer will bid it for you. For me? We bid hundreds of cars a day and it'll throw a number at you automatically. 60 seconds will take you 60 seconds to fill out the form, push submit. You'll immediately get an offer if your car is under 115,000 miles or under 50,000 over those two points. We do them by hand. Oh, my God.

[D]

Randy.

[A]

Randy. Randy.

[C]

It seems like this Internet thing is not a fad. Like it's gonna stick around.

[A]

We were talking. Where's my kiddo? Is he around?

[C]

Did you see him downstairs playing?

[A]

It's so funny. So we've got this. We're adding on our house, putting on. I've got four kids, so I needed. We bought a house that didn't have enough bedrooms, so we're adding on some bedrooms. And I went ahead and added on another room, an extra room. Remember that house in Burleson? In my. My old house in high school? Do you remember the extra room off my room?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

The weight room.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Well, we had the drums in there and the guitars and all that and the weights. Yeah. So I was like, they need something like this. This was good. So.

[C]

And rowdy. God bless.

[A]

Yeah. They finally figured out. And we're talking to the kids at lunch yesterday, and I'm like, tabitha plays the piano real well and she can sing and Maddox can sing. I'm like, we'll have drums, get guitars. It'd be our music room, our band room. And tab was cool and Maddox was cool. No one was pissed.

[C]

Why?

[A]

He didn't want to be in some damn band with these people.

[C]

He wasn't part of the Partridge Family is what you're trying to say.

[A]

It's like, listen, she's gonna do all the singing and Maddox thinks he can play the guitar and he can't. I'm going to be the guitarist or the drummer, and you're not going to let me be the drummer. And I don't want to be in Yalls band.

[C]

Well, maybe he can be the manager.

[A]

He's so. He's so. He's so temperamental. He said. And then he sounds like a lead vocalist. And then he said, he sounds like.

[C]

A lead vocalist and my ex wife.

[A]

He said, right about the time that we get this thing down, baby, Dayday is going to be coming up the ranks. And then he's going to take whatever I'm doing. He's going to take it from me, right? He's like, see? And he was like, really?

[C]

Your mini me?

[A]

He's, I mean, this really passionate about all this. He was really.

[B]

He's.

[A]

Let me give you 10. I was like, why don't you want to be in the family band? He said, I'll give you 10 reasons. Number one, I don't want to be in your damn band. Number two. See, Number one, Three, four, five. It's all the same. I don't want to be in the band.

[C]

Plus, you're no good.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Well, then we'll do it without you, kid.

[C]

So is it going to be a music room? Is it going to be a goof off room for the kids, extra goofball for both.

[A]

I'm going to set drums up in there and do the same thing and it'll be fun. And there's a balcony off of it looking over the pool and they can jump off that and. And get hurt and all.

[C]

You're putting the new pool. And that is my next question. Is there a pool point where they can jump off the house into the pool?

[A]

You know, it matters how athletic they are.

[C]

Oh, they could get unathletic really quick.

[A]

Yeah, I don't want anybody to get hurt. So we're putting a rail up. I'm going to tell them they're not allowed to jump.

[C]

You should put a slide in from one of the windows.

[A]

There's enough, you know. Come on. My God. You know, you should put a strip bar in there too. Where do you. Where do you.

[C]

Underneath the garage. When is this project going to be through? 20, 20. 20, 21.

[A]

It's been going on for a while now, I think. April. It should be done. My contractor is a good guy. I really like him. He's a friend of mine's father, but he is slow as molasses.

[C]

Molasses.

[A]

Molasses. And you know him. And so the. The time stamps on. On the budget are expired.

[C]

Can you attach something to it the quicker?

[A]

I did. Instead of making it a negative. When we did the contract, I made a positive. Okay. So what day you think you'll be dead? If you get done by that day, I'll give you an extra X. And then if we do it by the next month, it'll be this, your number, and the next month you owe me a little bit.

[C]

Did he read that? Yes.

[A]

I didn't think in my wildest dreams that it would be three months past.

[C]

That number you should have kept.

[A]

So I didn't add like he didn't. He doesn't take another licking every month after. So he just cashed out on the. On the $5,000 penalty. He knows he's hitting it.

[C]

Right? Right. So, yeah, it's gone.

[A]

It's gone.

[C]

What about the pool? When do we actually swim in the heat?

[A]

We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800. Well, the pool's there. Now you go swimming right now.

[C]

Give me the vineyard home. It's a little chilly.

[A]

Let me tell you something. If you are traveling through the airports this holiday season, don't do like my buddy did and have a.22 pistol in your backpack. Oh, no. They don't like it. They frown on it.

[C]

It's frowned upon.

[A]

It is very, very, very frowned upon. You could lose your job.

[B]

You do a lot of things literally. Technically, it's a crime is what it is to bring it in there.

[A]

Good morning.

[D]

You're on the air.

[A]

Hello? Yeah, you're on the air.

[F]

Hey, man, I'm not calling for a car. I'm just saying. I'm listening to Houston. Y' all are having some serious technical difficulties.

[D]

I.

[C]

On the radio.

[D]

We're working on it.

[A]

Okay. My. I just had someone in. In Fort Worth say the same thing. Is it garbled?

[D]

It's our Internet connection.

[A]

Okay. Which one are you on?

[D]

The only one. And we're supposed to be on.

[A]

All right.

[C]

It's time to stop sharing the neighbors Internet. We should get our own. Just get a hard. Hard line right in.

[A]

Can you grab STB network?

[D]

No, it's.

[A]

It's.

[D]

That would be even worse.

[A]

Okay, we're set. The.

[D]

This device can only be set up on one.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I could turn my cell phone on.

[A]

800-800-7234. Call in and let us know. Is it still dead? Are we off?

[D]

Or do you know Houston just pulled it off? Because it sounds too bad right now.

[A]

So I'm trying to figure it out.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Just got a horrible, horrible. Everything's bad, huh?

[C]

Well, I think season.

[A]

I think we're screwed. So if you're still with us, thanks.

[B]

For still being with us.

[A]

Just keep going.

[D]

Just keep going.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Keep going. Wash. It's your fault this didn't happen until you came around.

[C]

This I've been begging to hear some of. Like I said, when I first started the show, I met my wife here. And now I'm doing the show again after 10 years. And my wife has decided that she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore.

[A]

She doesn't love you this Christmas.

[C]

That's weird, man. Cuz I still love her. But anyway, let's not bring anybody down. Oh, my God. Bobo did this thing. The. The. The Ronnie Millsap thing is about the only thing I want for Christmas. I don't know if that's salvageable or if it's anywhere, but. Probably one of the funniest bits I've ever.

[A]

Go ahead and hit it quick, Turley, because we're almost out of time. For those who are still carrying us through the garble, you had it up earlier. Did you lose it? 800-800-7234, go to givemethevin.com. Somebody's knocking.

[B]

Between 1980 and 87, country singer Terry Gibbs recorded seven albums with moderate success. Her official biography states that she was born blind in Miami, Florida and raised in Georgia, where she sang and learned to play piano in church at a very early age, which was all quite acceptable until her single Somebody's Knocking brought her into the public eye. And that first look was the beginning of the end for Terry Gibbs. Her gangly shape, deep baritone voice and masculine looking facial structure started rumors that maybe the young blind girl country singer was really a middle aged man. And with her clever full band arrangements sold to singing style and expertise with keyboards of every type, by 1987, many fans suspected that Terry Gibbs was none other than RCA Records label mate Ronnie Millsap in drag, a publicity stunt that, while grossing the public out, predated Garth Brooks's Chris Gaines album by more than a decade. Thanks, Ronnie. And that's this week's Today in pop country music history. I'm Wallace Edwards. Now back to the Real Deal with John Play Wolf.

[A]

So awesome. That was your best work yet, sir.