#180 John Clay Wolfe Show 01.05.19

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #180 – 01.05.19 (Aired February 16, 2026)

Podcast: The John Clay Wolfe Show
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Show Description: Cars, sports, sex, drugs, rock & roll, and whatever won't get fined by the FCC.

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Episode Overview

This lively, wide-ranging episode features the signature blend of irreverence and insight from John Clay Wolfe and his roundtable of co-hosts. Listeners are welcomed back after the holidays with conversations bouncing from New Year’s resolutions and health fads to legalization of marijuana, airport anecdotes, car auction insights, and plenty of show banter. The hosts riff on work culture, college football, weed economics, relationships, and "swinger" signals at grocery stores—with listeners calling in throughout to share stories or get car bids. The show is powered by GiveMeTheVIN.com, and, as always, the mood is humorous, rowdy, and loaded with unscripted moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. New Year's, Resolutions & Cleanses

[00:22–10:10]

• Hosts return after the holidays with a humorous take on learning Spanish, health kicks, and attempting to get back to routine.
• New Year’s Resolutions: Uncle Bobbo wants to learn Spanish; JD and Mike embark on a 10-day “lemon cleanse” (lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup). The crew debates the sensibility and effectiveness of fad cleanses.
  • “Man, if I’m more energy…” – JD [04:49]
• Failure Stories: Colleagues abandon the cleanse for rotisserie chicken and midnight snacks, highlighting fad diet struggles.
• Cleanses vs. Fad Diets: Panel debates whether the lemon cleanse is a legitimate health reset or just another passing fad.
  • “Rich people in Dallas Fort Worth that are hearing you right now are gonna die over the course of the next month because they drank lemon juice and maple syrup and didn’t eat anything.” – Bobbo [06:53]

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2. The Economics, Culture, and Law of Marijuana

[19:46–44:35]

• Legal Weed Culture: John shares stories of visiting Colorado dispensaries, comparing their donut-shop vibe and customer service to the old black market.
  • “You can walk in and buy…? Please give me a picture.” – John [22:52]
• ID & Tracking: Dispensaries scan IDs, and out-of-state customers pay more. The paranoia (and legality) of mailing weed or crossing state lines is discussed—with input from both hosts and listeners, including some law enforcement banter.
• Tax Revenue & Social Change: A caller details how marijuana tax revenues have benefited Colorado’s police departments, schools, and city services [35:09].
  • "They took the tax money and they dedicated it straight to the school and the police department and the fire department." – Caller [35:27]
• Pricing Across States: Listeners call in from Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Texas to compare black market and legal marijuana prices (ranging from $150-$450/oz).
  • "An ounce is about 350 to 400 for really good..." – Lafayette, LA caller [32:05]
• Growing Culture Wars: Colorado vs. Mexico: Is "ditch weed" racist? Are Mexican or Canadian growers superior? Norm, the show's mechanic, and other callers rhapsodize about the personal touch needed to grow premium buds.
  • "The Canadians got a little bit more finesse. They talk to them and they caress them." – Caller [39:06]

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3. Workplace Dynamics & Mechanic Drama ("Norman’s Raise")

[60:26–76:48]

• Auction Expansion: John reveals GiveMeTheVIN.com's record 714 cars registered for auction and the challenge of managing such volume.
• Norman's Performance Review: The show devotes a long segment to lively, sometimes brutal, group feedback on Norm's management and mechanical skills.
  • Norman is praised for morale-boosting and coaching but criticized for lack of organization and failing to properly log repairs and car status.
• Showdown: Glenn (operations manager) and Brandy (another supervisor) call in live to deliver candid evaluations.
  • “He’s the only mechanic I know with clean hands…None of Norman’s team is here. That’s what he trained them to do.” – Brandy [73:02]
• Outcome: A six-week probation is agreed upon, after which Norman’s raise will be reconsidered.
  • "Right now, it’s zero percent.” – John [76:21]
  • “Be more involved. Be less of a social butterfly and more of a trainer.” – Brandy’s New Year’s wish [75:24]

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4. Listener Calls: Cars, Culture & Comedy

Sprinkled throughout episode

• Car Appraisals: Regular listeners call to get quick car bids. Ex.: 2012 Ford F150 Raptor—offered $27,000 [77:51].
• Swingers Signals: A Houston caller educates the crew about “pineapple” signals in grocery carts and swinger culture [129:18].
• Relationship Stories: Panel recounts tales of crazy exes, vindictive partners, and the “locked bedroom door” defense [114:33+].
• Comedian Guest: Steve Treviño calls in to discuss his comedy, marriage, edibles, and life back in Texas.
  • “It’s about family. It’s about my wife. It’s about how much I hate her. And women seem to get it.” – Steve Treviño [52:34]
  • "It's so real that my wife... was literally using my joke to get some of the information." – Steve Treviño [56:02]

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5. News, Sports & Satire

[95:42–107:42, interspersed throughout]

• Bowl Game & Playoff Fatigue: Dissection of college football’s changing landscape, bowl game irrelevance, and predictions for playoffs.
• Mascot Mishap: Bevo the Longhorn attacks Uga the Bulldog—a call for the end of live pop mascots [110:03].
• Pop Culture: Review of "Bird Box" challenge (Netflix) and Ed Sheeran's alleged plagiarism of Marvin Gaye [104:00].
• Rush Limbaugh & Satan Appearances: Comedic skits with Rush and the Devil, maintaining the show’s off-kilter vibe.
  • “Luckily, I have my attorney here at my side…” – “Rush Limbaugh” character [105:13]
  • “No, surprisingly, I had nothing to do with [legalized marijuana].” – “Satan” character [108:08]

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6. Behind the Scenes: Business Growth

[136:12–end]

• GiveMeTheVIN.com Expansion: Discussion of auction logistics, recession fears, and the stress of exponential growth.
  • “How the hell am I gonna rep 730 cars? ... Now, I’m getting worried about it.” – John [136:21]
• Leveraging Dealership Networks: Guidance for regular people to buy at dealer auctions through the GiveMeTheVIN platform.
• Workplace Humor: Paranoia over “too many cars,” worries about the government shutdown affecting tax-return-fueled sales [141:20].

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Cleanses:
  “Lemon water, cayenne pepper...sounds like a great place for some rum.” – Bobbo [04:57]

• On Workplace Reality:
  “We want to keep this in simple, lame terms...it is a princess or it is a whore.” – Norman [63:49]

• On Legal Weed:
  "Colorado police departments...make enough money off of us, off the growers and the storefront that they don't need the federal government money." – Colorado caller [35:27]

• On Relationships:
  “The best thing we ever, ever did was have children. The second best thing...was break up.” – Bobbo [117:44]

• On Swingers:
  "If you have a pineapple in your cart and if your pineapple is standing up, it’s a mama daddy party." – Jay, Houston caller [129:40]

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Original Tone & Style

The episode pulses with the John Clay Wolfe Show’s signature blend of blue-collar humor, sarcasm, cultural irreverence, and unfiltered opinions. Banter flows organically—a blend of friendly ribbing, honest self-deprecation, and open-mic spontaneity sets the tone. Tangents abound, but car buying/auto industry wisdom is never far away.

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For New Listeners: Why This Episode Stands Out

• Unscripted authenticity: The Norman "review" is a masterclass in how blue-collar workplaces hash out disputes—with humor, bluntness, and zero HR-speak.
• Constant engagement: Callers shape the show, able to both challenge and amuse the hosts.
• Topic diversity: From the mechanics of weed transportation and auction logistics to swingers’ grocery codes, no stone goes unturned.
• Audience-relevant insights: For those in the car biz, or curious about shifting American cultures (from diet fads to weed to sports), this two-hour romp is both instructive and wildly entertaining.

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Selected Timestamps for Key Segments

• New Year Resolutions & Cleanses: [00:22–10:10]
• Marijuana Economics & Law: [19:46–44:35]
• Norman’s Performance Review/Raise: [60:26–76:48]
• Comedian Steve Treviño Interview: [51:14–58:19]
• Swingers and Pineapple Signals: [129:18–132:49]
• Locked Door/Relationship Stories: [114:44–119:44]
• GiveMeTheVIN Expansion/Car Selling Advice: [136:12–139:19]

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Final Word

If you want deep laughs, genuine car-industry know-how, and a real taste of modern American radio banter, this episode delivers. Advertisements, intros, and outros are minimal. The true payoff is unfiltered insight into how people really talk—in shops, on the road, and between friends who know nothing is sacred except keeping it real.

Transcript

[A]

From the Wolf Radio Studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf Show. Call John toll free, 1-800-800- radio. Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have done this. I'm had to brush up on my Spanish.

[B]

My boy, you got crazy now.

[A]

John Clay Wolf.

[C]

I think that's gonna be my New Year's resolution this year. Hi, everybody. It's your Uncle Bob Bo right here on a Saturday morning. Must be time for the John Clay Wolfe Show. Hope you're feeling okay this new year. Say hello to my friend, J.D. brown.

[D]

Good morning, Pablo. How are you doing?

[C]

I think I'm gonna do that this year. I'm gonna learn to speak actual Espanol.

[D]

Are you really? You do the. What's that? What's that, ah. What's that thing called?

[C]

Well, there's one. Babel. There's a free one called Something Else Truvio or something. Or I might just go hang around the north side more often.

[D]

See, they say that's quicker. They say learning it. Immerse yourself in it.

[C]

Yeah, the food is. Get arrested.

[D]

That's the key. That's the key. You arrested and you're surrounded by people that you don't speak their language.

[C]

Get myself arrested in North Fort Worth. I can learn Spanish in a day.

[D]

You know, in a minute.

[C]

Make it. Make a great story. Anyway, Ola. Michael Turley's right there on the.

[D]

Turley.

[A]

Hey, hey, hold on.

[E]

I got to do my Zeke Elliott impression. Take this little nasal thing and what.

[D]

Is that up your nose? What is that?

[E]

Yeah, I am ready to go.

[A]

These are those little.

[C]

Breathe.

[E]

Right.

[A]

I don't know what they do for.

[D]

The New Year's holiday. We are shoving things up our noses. We're learning Spanish.

[E]

Yeah, these will. These will get you right, J.D.

[D]

What is that?

[E]

Ready for football?

[D]

What is it for real?

[C]

It's a Vicks Vapor.

[D]

Okay. Is that what he does?

[E]

Pretty much. But like 10 times stronger.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Before he enters the game.

[C]

I remember a fellow named Hollywood Henderson doing something like that back in the 80s.

[D]

I think it was Vix. I don't think that was Vix. It may have been. The guy he bought it from was called Vix.

[E]

I am excited. That's all I know.

[D]

What is that? So is that okay? What did Hollywood Henderson. He did cocaine. Cocaine? Yeah, but what's that?

[E]

This is like what he's talking about.

[D]

Okay, but what's the 10 times stronger stuff?

[A]

I don't know what it's called.

[E]

It's kind of like. No, they. They have it on the sidelines. But if you get your head.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Kind of bell rung a little bit, you need something to wake you up.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

That's what it is. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, I got you.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

This is vape, which is very similar to me, but of course, you know, it's not quite as strong, but I'm ready. I'm cowboys ready.

[C]

We may sound like stark raving amateurs for the first course of the program.

[A]

Why is that?

[C]

Well, we haven't done this in a while since. Since three days before Christmas, actually, the 22nd of last month of last year. It is now 2019. Have you written any.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Checks in error?

[D]

Oh, no, not checks.

[E]

Who writes a check anymore? Yeah, except for givemetheven.com.

[C]

You know, certain stuff you still write a check for. I've written a couple this year.

[D]

Really, Jack?

[C]

Sure.

[D]

I don't write a check for anything anymore. Anything.

[C]

One of them was dated January 2nd of 2018. Sure enough. You got to get used to that 19. Stick that 19 in there.

[D]

Ever since child support went away, I don't write checks anymore.

[C]

At all.

[D]

From. Yeah.

[C]

Stephen King fans will appreciate the prominence of the number 19 in this new year. Also here. It's the year of the pig over in China.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

2019 year. A pig.

[D]

The pig. Well, you won't find that around here because Mike and I are on a fast. Well, it's a cleanse. More than a fast.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. JD's got a new diet.

[A]

He does.

[D]

Yes, I do. But this one actually, this is working.

[C]

We pulled a special music bed just for this. Jd, when you came into this.

[E]

Well, I don't know.

[D]

I don't know if it's gonna work.

[E]

It goes with it or not, but.

[C]

It'S just so weird. Yeah, I think this is perfect.

[D]

I do like this.

[E]

So this is.

[D]

This is Africa.

[E]

Africa, but done with vegetables. Some guy took some zucchini and stuff like that and hollowed it out.

[D]

Get out of here.

[E]

So Bob was like, yeah, this is perfect. When JD talks about a new diet.

[D]

Diet. So, yes, the answer is yes. But this one. This one's working. This one actually came from Michael. This is a cleanse that Mike has done for three years now. It's. Everybody has heard of it, at least. It's. It's a. Well, you explain.

[E]

It's a lemon cleanse.

[D]

It's a lemon and. Yeah.

[E]

And it's the all natural. Not the powder stuff you find.

[D]

No, no, no. It's just the fruit.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

You're basically having a lemonade more or less for Lemon.

[F]

You drink.

[E]

You take a whole lemon, squeeze it. Some warm water and some cayenne pepper and a couple tablespoons of maple syrup.

[C]

Boom.

[E]

Mix it in, and you drink that throughout the day.

[D]

And I thought I'd be a lot hungrier and a lot grumpier and tired, but I'm not. Man. If I'm more energy.

[E]

Yeah. And that's weird. That's. That's because your body is. It's eating all the fat and your metabolism changing and.

[D]

See, this is working.

[C]

Lemon water, cayenne pepper. Yeah, it sounds like a great place for some rum.

[D]

Yeah. I think the idea is to get the toxins out. Yeah. Put them back in.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait.

[C]

Rum's a toxin?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. And it's not just to lose weight. It is. It's just I'd use it for a reason. Reset your body. Like you're rebooting a compute, reset. Get all the toxins out of your body. If you do chemicals, it'll get those chemicals out of your body.

[D]

Right. Technically, it's not a diet because it's only 10 days. And you don't. The. The focus is not to lose weight. The focus is to clear the toxins out of your system.

[E]

But it was funny because a lot of the folks down in the buying office.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we'll do it.

[D]

Oh, everybody was so excited.

[E]

We put 20 bucks in there.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

All right, let's go.

[E]

Of course. Who. Everybody on the show that listens to show knows who blows up. And he's like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it eight hours later. So at the end of the day, he was done.

[A]

He completely blew up this bs. Who wants to do this?

[E]

BS But, I mean, he's going off.

[A]

Mad, and it's so, so bad.

[E]

His wife brought him a whole rotisserie chicken, and he finished it like, oh, God.

[C]

The cure for lemon cleanse.

[E]

And then another buyer, Aaron.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

He cracked at 2am 2am in the morning. He just woke up. He said, you know what?

[C]

I'm done.

[E]

Screw it. He ate peanut butters and waffle.

[A]

Peanut butter and Walt.

[D]

That's. See?

[C]

What problem did they have with it? I mean, well, you're hungry.

[D]

First of all, you're not eating. But it's a mindset that I found that has gotten me through the first few days, which is it's only going to be 10 days. I can handle it.

[C]

10 days. 10 days without eating.

[D]

Without. Well, it's. You're drinking what I have right here in this cup. Which is the lemonade. Now, I'm. I'm using molasses, not maple syrup. We don't get complicated.

[E]

Yeah, you can alternate it if you want.

[D]

Just. I prefer the taste. But you can alternate a little bit.

[C]

You can't do that, fellas. You can't drink your little lemon cocktail and not eat for 10 days.

[D]

Yes, you can, actually.

[E]

Three years.

[D]

People have done it for centuries. It's called fasting.

[C]

Rich people in Dallas Fort Worth that are hearing you right now are gonna die over the course of the next month because they drank lemon juice and maple syrup and didn't eat anything.

[D]

Look it up, look it up. Look it up on the Internet. There's a million, million success stories. I mean, literally millions.

[C]

Okay, but, like, you could put in just a little stipend or something, right? I mean, 10:00am Daily, you eat a delicious can of Boyard. Eat lasagna or something.

[D]

That's not a fast. That's a fat.

[C]

She's wheeze. When did this happen?

[D]

It started. This is day four.

[E]

Yeah. Start the new year, right, baby?

[C]

No, no.

[D]

Mike has done it for four years or three years. This is the third year.

[E]

Next. Yeah, next Saturday, JD Will be coming off of it.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

So we'll see. We'll check back and see how. J.D.

[D]

Bud, you can't just jump into a cheeseburger. No, no, you gotta slowly. What I'm. From what I see Internet, you have to reintroduce food to your system.

[E]

Yeah. And it's not. And the point is not to just. Okay, I did that. I'm done.

[A]

Give me your cake.

[E]

No, no. It's to reset what you want to do for the rest of the year.

[D]

And you know what I found out is. It's. What it's teaching me is it's okay to be a little bit hungry. I'm not. I'm not hangry at all. I've been more hungry after not eating for six hours than I am now after three days. It's weird. It's almost weird. And I've got more energy, too, you may have noticed.

[A]

Yes, it's great.

[D]

And I'm sleeping better. I wasn't sleeping that great.

[E]

And that was a problem.

[D]

Last two nights, I've slept better. And I thought, what in the world? I'm not eating and I'm sleeping better. I get more energy. This is weird, Michael.

[A]

This is good. Good, good, good, good. Almost as weird as this song.

[D]

Yeah, I was gonna say, notice how quiet Ababa's gotten.

[C]

I'm flummoxed by this I can't believe you guys still keep jumping into these fad diet things.

[E]

That's not a bad diet.

[D]

It's not a fat diet. This is a cleanse. And it's been going on since the dawn of time. Fasting's in the Bible. I mean, come on. It's been around a while. It's not new.

[C]

It's not a pyramid scheme.

[D]

No, there's no money. That's just because you don't have to pay anybody.

[C]

Just because the graph has a point on top and two sides. Yeah, they're more or less arranged in an isosceles fashion. It's multilateral marketing. It's not a pyramid scheme. It's not a fad diet. No, really, what do you do? Well, you get a lemon and some cayenne pepper called a little maple symple. Stick in the glass, drink it. Don't eat anything for a damn week.

[D]

You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. No.

[C]

And you don't. It's not like you limit yourself to rice cakes, then bread flakes, celery, and health food. You limit yourself to no food and drink this lemon concoction with no rum allowed.

[D]

No rum.

[C]

Of course you're gonna lose weight.

[D]

Yes, you're gonna lose weight, but that's not the point. That's not the goal. So you can't say, yeah, well, yeah, I lost weight. Well, of course you're gonna lose weight because you're having about 600 calories a day.

[C]

Right. But secretly, privately hungry. Secretly, privately, you're hoping you lose weight off of this. Of course.

[D]

But you know you're gonna some of it. Most anything I've lost so far in three days is gonna be water weight.

[C]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna say something decisive and unsurprising. Okay, here we go. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it.

[D]

All right.

[A]

The best way to lose a lot of weight at one time is go walking early in the morning.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Get a cup of coffee. After that, taking a big dip, Right. Of snuff. No, you'll drop about a two pounder.

[C]

There you go. Now that's sensible.

[A]

It just happened. You can't stop.

[B]

You can't stop.

[A]

Doxydan, my ass. I mean, this baby's gonna deliver.

[D]

Now. It's nature. It's nature, not nurture.

[C]

What a healthy bunch we are.

[D]

A healthy bunch. You need to join us, Babo.

[A]

Sorry I'm late.

[C]

Pre K ain't doing it either.

[A]

Pre K. How to soul people fast. You're half Black, whitey, blackie, everybody. I don't know if y' all know DJ Pre K. He's our white black man. He's a black man that identifies. He's a white man that identifies himself as a black man. Kind of like Rachel Tosenthal the.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, right, same thing.

[A]

Hey, dj.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

What up, man?

[E]

Well, I mean, really, you know, in the hood, whenever you want to lose some weight, man, it's not really much of an option. You just broke.

[A]

You just got to go on the ramen noodle diet.

[D]

Ramen noodles are terrible for you.

[A]

And that's all you got?

[E]

Just ramen noodles, baby.

[A]

Then you're nothing but sodium, man.

[D]

It's very helpful.

[A]

What are some other ways that you find that you plow through poverty or fatness, man? Really, you just gotta. In the hood, if you're overweight, is that a sign, like in the old world that you're rich?

[E]

Yeah, man, you eating good.

[A]

You eating lobster and steak.

[D]

Rolling. Isn't that even a thing? Rolling fat and see, rolling fat looking straight pregnant, right?

[A]

What is it? What is a ghetto diet on an average income? Not, not like a. Not, not like a crack dealer, but a weed dealer.

[C]

Racial undertones notwithstanding, I would think a cracker diet would be pretty. I don't take a lot of salaries out.

[D]

It has a dollar menu somewhere. Is that what it's.

[E]

So, wait, wait. So you saying the lemon cleanse is a white person diet? Is that what you're saying, John?

[A]

I'm saying you don't hear about a bunch of people in the hood talking about the lemon cleanse. Okay, Lemon bars, lemon edibles with some thcm.

[D]

Here come the phone.

[E]

Lemon kush.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, lemon kush, but not the lemon cleanse. No, fasting.

[D]

Fasting is multi.

[A]

Dj, have you ever. Have you ever done a lemon cleanse? Man, hell no.

[F]

What I look like doing the damn.

[E]

Lemon clean.

[D]

Sounds funnier when he says it.

[A]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4.

[D]

You've swayed me, 3K. Somebody go get us Jack in a box.

[E]

Go get you a burger.

[D]

No.

[A]

800, 800 radio. Happy 2019. Yes, it's 2019. Yes, we're all on a diet. The line at the salad store was really long. Yesterday there was a riot in New York City because some of the healthy food places, because they're so overcrowded in the first week of January.

[D]

And the gyms.

[A]

I haven't even been to the gym.

[D]

I went to the gym last night. There's all the. The regulars that you see. I mean, just they're just 10 o' clock at night.

[A]

I'm working. I was working out this morning. That's why I'm late.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Where you work?

[A]

Out in my bedroom. Just doing push ups and sit ups and chin ups. That's great because I'm just getting ready for the cowboy game. Good Mojo. Good Mojo. Good mojo. We back in a second. Our next segment will be a quick hit. I'll come back and see you for about one minute, bid a lot of cars real fast and then bug back out to a couple of songs. Then back to another long segment. We'll be doing this till noon today. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars and radio. 800-800-radio. 800-800-7234. Give me year, make, model and miles, average, rough or clean. And be sure that you are ready to sell that bitch. Oh, yeah. We're back. Back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[E]

Presented by gimme the vin.com.

[A]

I know my lesbian.

[D]

Why would you think that?

[A]

800, 800 radio. I'm a Ram. And now, Senor Juan Clay Wolf. More cowbell. More cowbell. B.J. harley. I don't think that.

[D]

Good morning, everybody. B.J. harley on the radio.

[A]

All you boys talk about is boobs and beer. Maybe we should do a segment called Boob Talk.

[C]

Oh, that gives me a great idea.

[A]

Boob Talk. Who could be the host?

[C]

Yeah, that'll.

[D]

That'll clear the sensors.

[A]

Who could be the host?

[D]

Good morning, It's BJ Harley on the radio with you for Boob Talk on a Wednesday.

[A]

Well, FCC's on vacation this weekend.

[D]

Complain. Go ahead, complain. See?

[A]

Go ahead, do it.

[D]

And then while you're at it, call some air traffic controllers and some TSA agents that aren't at work.

[A]

Are there traffic controllers off the air?

[D]

Traffic controllers are working, but they're working very hard.

[A]

A lot of people are calling. Aviation story. Can you believe it?

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[C]

I'm not.

[E]

Hold on.

[D]

Do you guys have a sound bed for that?

[E]

Not yet. I don't know. We need one though.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Hundreds of Transportation Security Administration TSA officers who are required to work without paychecks through this partial government shutdown have called out. I know you'll be shocked because they're such career people. Basically, they're calling in sick in droves. 200 to 300% at Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. 400% at New York LaGuardia Airport. So basically, the people that are working are probably in a great mood.

[A]

How are they getting paid?

[D]

They're Not. I mean, if they. Obviously, the money at some point will come back to them when the government opens back up, but right now, they're not getting paid, and as a result, 300 of them are calling in sick. Tsh.

[A]

I'm not from a. From a big place like New York City.

[D]

New York City.

[A]

But I think math is the same across the land.

[C]

300 percentage wise.

[A]

How do you do? 300.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

300 of the people are missing. What happened to the other 200?

[C]

I was suspect of that particular statistic as well. You don't want to get me started on this, though.

[D]

You missed the word.

[A]

I'm down stepping on each other, guys.

[C]

I'm down on these guys for right now. They stole my cologne.

[D]

I'm defending myself.

[C]

They took my cologne.

[D]

You missed the word increase.

[A]

I listened to y' all on the way in, and when you step on each other, you sound like a holes.

[C]

Because one of us won't stop.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, who's that? Bobbo jackass. Would you come over here?

[A]

Just wanted to let you know you sound like Wayne's World and your mom's basement when y' all are stepping on each other.

[D]

Or the View. They always talk all over with a view.

[A]

You can at least read their lips.

[C]

Right, which is what I do.

[D]

All right, I'll wait to answer your question. Is everyone finished?

[A]

I was Senator.

[D]

It was a 300 increase as to the number of people that normally call in sick.

[C]

Oh, well, you say that that was the word.

[D]

That the word increase was in the sentence.

[C]

Listen, I know this is not popular too, but I'm down on these guys right now. They really did steal my cologne.

[D]

Who did?

[C]

At love at the airport this. This weekend.

[D]

It's still.

[C]

When I. When I flew out to Alabama, they took my. A big old $13 spray can of Drakkar Noir. Said it was too big. I said, hey, we actually had a bit of an episode about this. He said. He said, this is the only thing. You can't take this.

[A]

I said, bubble, stop.

[C]

It's 13 bucks, dude.

[A]

Bubble, stop.

[C]

He goes, yeah, but it says 3.5 ounces, and this is 6 ounces. I said, you're stealing my cologne. You're. Take that home. And I yelled at his.

[A]

His.

[C]

His helper mate up on the belt, hey, this guy's stealing my clothes.

[A]

Bobo, did you really have Drakkar?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you really still have Drakkar?

[E]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah, no, he took it from me.

[A]

Do they still make that stuff? Yeah, it's beautiful, dude. That was 1987, man. What's next to it. Polo.

[E]

Old English, cool water cologne. And that's what he's got, too, right?

[C]

There's no Polo and there's no Stetson. It is Drakkar.

[A]

Nuanced. Drakkar is from 87. I mean, was your high Fidel Body by Alpine, body by Lamborghini. Poster next to me.

[C]

Let me tell you what happened to me, okay? Let me tell you what happened. When I was a senior in high school, I had a beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend, and she taught me what a man is supposed to smell like. You know what that is?

[D]

You know what that is? That's 40 years ago.

[C]

30.

[A]

DJ, teach me about scent, baby. So you're a white guy that identifies as an African American, otherwise known as a. Oh, I can't say it. White bread. So what do y' all wear, man?

[E]

You know, I'm a little bit of a cologne connoisseur. So I could break it down for you, baby. You know, whenever the weather's getting cold.

[A]

Like this, I like to spray on.

[E]

A little bit of Issey Miyaki Nuit. The Issy that you want to go.

[A]

With the black bottles, man.

[E]

That French stuff youf know what I'm saying?

[A]

Maybe some Cartier, you know, so I'm all about it, baby.

[E]

Right now, though, got on the Versace, Dylan Blue, you know, little fruity you smell.

[A]

Because I'm feeling a little fresh today. So you're just going. Brand name. You're just going. If it said Gucci on it or if it said Louis on it, that's where you're going. Oh, yeah, baby. Complete hoe sellout.

[E]

Absolutely.

[A]

All right. And Babo's still wearing Drakkar. Is that the same bottle you had from 88?

[C]

No, I actually just got.

[A]

What kind of hair stuff you use? Wet. I mean, that was from 85.

[C]

I've never heard of that.

[E]

You remember CK1 that was real big.

[D]

And, you know, it's only been 15, 20 years. You couldn't carry anything more than 3 ounces on an airplane.

[A]

Hey, speaking of carrying on the airplane. So if you go to Colorado and you buy edibles or weed or whatever.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Legally there, how do you get it home?

[D]

You don't.

[E]

You consume it.

[D]

You consume it there. You don't bring it home. You don't transport it. They have a special rule about that. It's called a law.

[A]

Can you FedEx it?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Technically, though, I think you can't eat it all on the plane, but you have to have it down before you get it back.

[D]

It's Got to be less than 3 ounces.

[A]

Gotta be less than 3 ounces.

[C]

I was really mad about that, man.

[A]

I walked into one of those places in Colorado last week, and they had a. They had an ounce of Maui saue.

[D]

Maui.

[A]

Well, it was called Maui Sour.

[C]

That's what that text was about.

[A]

I said, Maui saue.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

In a big old bag, man. An ounce is a lot.

[C]

Is it really?

[A]

How much? Because I remember Carter in college when he just got an ounce in the mail and it sounds just like this song. And he was. He was like, oh, Green Day. Green Day. That's what he'd call it, okay? And. And his FedEx boxes would come with the big Oz from Colorado. And he'd pull it out. He's like, oh, look at that red hair, baby. Start talking to his buds, man. He's like, oh, oh, stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky. And he'd just sit there and talk to his buds for like a, you know, a half hour and then chop them all up on his drafting table and start. He had his rolling machine with a handle on it. So he'd put him in there and roll them real tight and just talk about how perfect every. Very excited guy. I guess some people play with trains. He played with weed.

[D]

What is an ounce? How big is that?

[A]

It's a lot, really. And they sell an ounce. And when I saw that, the Maui sauerkraut, I started thinking about Carter and how happy he'd be if I just sent him one of those.

[E]

And then how you'd go to jail.

[A]

But I mean, so. So what? Can you just mail them to people?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

He used to mail them himself.

[E]

Well, he had a plan of some way that made it work. I wouldn't try that, though.

[B]

You can do.

[A]

We'll discuss this and more when we return to the JD Ryan Show 2019. My name is John Clay Wolf, and I'm a putz. And now we return.

[F]

You ask me, your show has become so preachy and full of messages that you've forgotten how to be funny.

[A]

To the John Clay Wolf Show. You don't get no better show than.

[F]

Long day ahead of me.

[C]

So I'm gonna need to keep this thing moving.

[A]

Should we start?

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Presented by givemetheven.com.

[A]

Bobbo, how long have you had that bottle at your car?

[C]

I really, literally purchased it last week. I've got really good aftershave. It's Gillette aftershave. Okay, stop it. No, no. And it smells good. It smells good. Okay, but I'm thinking, you know, Everybody's got these spray bottles that. My son turned me onto this. He wears that Axe Killer spray, you know, So I need a spray. Well, guess what? So they make it in Drakkar. Sold.

[D]

I bet they do.

[C]

13 bucks. It's. It's. I know they were. I know after 9 11, they were cutting down on a lot of that kind of stuff.

[D]

It's not the kind of stuff. There's giant signs in the line. Do not take this on board.

[C]

Not as prominent. You reminded me.

[A]

So we're back to Colorado and we're. We're looking at dope.

[D]

Go ahead.

[A]

I mean, have you been to one of these places? Bobbo?

[C]

It's wonderful, isn't it?

[A]

It's amazing. It's weird. Have you been? Have you?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Where? What city in California?

[C]

San Diego.

[A]

Was it medicinal or rec?

[C]

It was both. They were. They were brand new. Both.

[A]

So you can walk in and buy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Please give me a picture.

[D]

Like, donut shop.

[A]

Bingo.

[D]

Okay. I'm just asking.

[A]

Except it's not Orientals. It's hippies.

[D]

Got you. Okay.

[A]

They're not Lexuses, they're Subarus up front.

[D]

I follow.

[A]

So you know the donut shops, the Kingpin, Fu Manchu Foam and Duck. Whatever his name is. And he runs all the. The hot. Kind of borderline hot oriental chicks that work at the. You know, they look approachable, but maybe they're not. But maybe they're from Cambodia. But maybe they're like, don't speak any English. But they make great donuts and they'd be good to come home with you and maybe keep your house clean.

[C]

You will, sir, to knock a pig and bracket.

[A]

That's not the people at the pot shop. Those people haven't bathed in a while now. Okay. They got some ratty ass hair. What's up, man?

[E]

How you doing today?

[D]

So it's just typical. Like Hollywood. Exactly as you would get.

[A]

But you walk in there, man, it's like being at the donut show. I'd like a dozen blueberries and two glazed and some donut holes. It's just amazing. I couldn't believe in my own. In my lifetime that this was taking place.

[D]

Do you need any kind of ID to buy this? You need an id, like, any kind of id?

[A]

I asked them these questions. I didn't buy any, but I watched them and they. They. They would scan people's driver's license.

[C]

Oh, driver's license.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

So there's a record of what you bought.

[E]

Oh, that's not creepy. I didn't buy anything. I just went in there and watched everybody come on.

[D]

It's like Victoria's Secret.

[A]

Well, I didn't want to bring it home.

[C]

So you.

[A]

I mean, I did, but I, I want, I, I didn't want any, but I wanted to bring it for my friends.

[C]

Did you have the talk?

[A]

And I didn't want to get in.

[D]

Trouble, but you can't, you know, they.

[C]

Give you the talk.

[A]

Can you just mail it to yourself? What if you mail it to a P.O. box? It's called.

[D]

No, it's.

[A]

No.

[D]

Mailing things that are illegal in other states is illegal.

[A]

You can, I mean, my listeners know. Call in.

[D]

Huh.

[E]

It's possible to drive it. It's not legal.

[D]

You're still going.

[A]

So if you're driving and you get pulled over in Colorado and you have it on you, is it. Are you allowed to smoke it?

[E]

No, you cannot. There's a. When. I don't know if. Well, you didn't see it, but you didn't purchase it. But they seal it. And if that seals open in the car, then they can give you a ticket.

[A]

Really?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Open container?

[E]

Yeah, open. It's like an open container. Exactly.

[A]

So where are you supposed to do it? At home, man. What about on the ski lift, man? Is it okay on the ski lift?

[E]

As long as they allow smoking. Now, I don't know if there's signs now. It says no weed smoking or anything.

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

I don't know how that works.

[A]

Guns are prohibited.

[D]

According to an attorney, you're still by crossing a state line, falling within the jurisdiction of the federal government. Even if cannabis is legal in both states, it's that crossing the border that puts you at risk.

[A]

Do you have New Year's Day by Charlie Robinson? We're going to need that today for sure. I should have told you that earlier. Do you think Trump. What's Trump's position on weed?

[D]

He said he's looking. I mean, you never know, just reading it on Facebook. But there was, there was a headline that said he was thinking about legalizing in the whole country.

[A]

Gary in Midland. A 16 ram, 34 ton, 35000 mile tradesman, four wheel drive. Is it a long bed or a short?

[F]

Short bed.

[A]

Does it have the appearance package or is it a gray grill? Real work truck. Right.

[F]

So I'm sorry, say it again now.

[A]

Does it have the appearance package or is it the gray plastic front grille?

[F]

No, it's appearance package.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Full replacement bumper grille guard in the front. The back too.

[A]

And what about the wheels? Are they the Cheap ones or the alloys.

[F]

They're the chrome alloys.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

With brand new 35 inch tires.

[A]

30, 30, 32. 32, 32, 33, 34. Low 30s.

[F]

You want it?

[A]

Yeah. It's diesel, right?

[F]

No, no, no, it's a six, four Hemi. I'm sorry.

[A]

Okay. That's why, you know, the company's called givemetheven.com because when you go to our computer and put the VIN number in or just your license plate, it'll bust out the engine, the power locks, all the stuff. Even the color in some cases. But yeah, I do want to go to givemetheven.com, load it up, the computer will bid it for you right there on the spot. I mean it takes. It's automatic. And then we'll. I'll call you after the show and we'll, we'll work out the details. It's probably going to be 6,000 less than that. Maybe seven with a gas. 800. 800. Seven, two, three, four. 800.

[D]

Do you want to know the legal ramifications of bringing it in the state? This is, this is the United States code. Makes no distinction between legal state, medical state or illegal state. The possession of one kilogram or less of hash oil, 10 kilograms or less of hashish, one to 49 cannabis plants or.

[A]

Whoa, one to 49 cannabis plants. You can have 45 plants, full plants, that's okay.

[D]

Or up to 50 kilograms of the actual cannabis.

[A]

What's a kilogram is 100 kilograms an ounce?

[C]

A thousand.

[D]

You know your first offense of five years in federal prison and a fine of a quarter of a million dollars. Up to a million dollars for your first offense worth.

[A]

To be a mule.

[D]

Yeah, you're a mule. See the movie.

[A]

No, wait, they're saying between 1 and 49. So what if you're 51?

[D]

Then that's. I don't know what happens. That's probably the next ladder. Yeah, that's next level up.

[A]

Okay, so Charlie, I was looking at the prices on this stuff and an ounce of the good stuff was 150 bucks. I didn't ask. Is there tax on top of that? Is that where they make their money?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

It's not tax hadn't already built in.

[E]

No.

[A]

Well, it was just a round sticker with red writing. 150. So probably didn't have the taxes figured.

[E]

No, and I believe you're. Since you're out of state, you pay more too, if I remember right.

[A]

Right.

[E]

That's why when they.

[A]

Cuz you're going to mail it and.

[E]

Now, not supposed to.

[A]

Does that include shipping?

[D]

No.

[E]

That's why when I was in Colorado, I had my friend buy it because it was cheaper, cuz he's in state.

[D]

But you consume it completely.

[A]

So what do they pay for it? That, that 150oz up down here. My buddy Carter that used to get the Green Day package. Hey, man, you send me that Green Day cd? Yeah, man, it's on its way.

[E]

Pre K. Might know better than that.

[A]

Pre K? You're an old hood drug dealer.

[C]

God.

[A]

Never in the mail, man. No, that's how you catch a case, baby. Catch a case. I heard you wrap it in Saran Wrap. Get Vaseline, wrap that, load it up with Vaseline and wrap it again. And Vaseline it again. And then coffee.

[D]

I see, right. And I want you to watch this show called Breaking Bad. How well that works?

[A]

How much is it down here? Is it worth more? It's got to be. We're in Texas, man. Everything's better in Texas, right?

[E]

So an Oz. What's that?

[A]

You don't know what. Okay, people. People that are listening. Not an Uzi, you hood rat son of a. People are listening. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Bob knows. You know who knows? Bob Floyd. Here's our own Bob Floyd.

[E]

Forgot about him.

[A]

I forgot that we had our own reporter. Just like that dude that does the stocks. What's his name? Kramer?

[D]

Yeah, CNBC said Bob doesn't.

[A]

Bob Floyd. Get in here. Quit token on that. Damn. There you go.

[C]

Well, welcome to 2019, everybody. And you know, it's absolutely true what they say. Supply and demand are active factors in all economics. But illegality plays a certain role as well. For instance, in Colorado, one ounce of great saue maui can be had for $150. Back here in Texas, that's an eighty dollar deal. You do the math. Buy it here, sell it there, and you're gonna have a happy February.

[A]

$80, 80 bucks. You make 80 bucks.

[C]

That's what I heard.

[A]

That's what Bob said. It's not enough. It's not enough. It's not worth. Not worth it.

[E]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Hey, we're on an Amarillo in Wichita falls and that 287 corridor. I'd like the officers the in the. I know you guys listen to. I know you guys in the highway patrol listen us on Saturday mornings because every time I get pulled over up there, which is plenty, y' all say, hey man, listen to you Every Saturday morning. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Fill us in on the details. You all know what I'm fishing for. You know the answers. Hello, Good morning, You're on the air.

[F]

Hey, this is Terry. I'm from Oklahoma. We just passed the medical marijuana. Yeah. You guys talking about prices?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay, so the cheap stuff is running about 200 an ounce. Up to about 450 an ounce. Anywhere from 10 to 20 a gram.

[A]

A gram? How many. How many ounce. How many grams are in an ounce?

[F]

There's 28 grams in an ounce.

[A]

Oklahoma past miracle medical marijuana. I did not know that.

[F]

Yep. We started selling in October.

[A]

Are you doing it?

[F]

No, I don't sell, but I am a patient.

[A]

Oh, good. Well, God bless and get well soon. Good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Hey, man, I was gonna give you some retail on the black market. The pot.

[A]

Okay, that's really. You put it in a sentence that we were fishing for. Thank you.

[F]

Yeah, the an ounce is about. About 350 to 400 for. Really good.

[A]

I thought that was a good deal I was holding in my hand at 150. I knew I could smell a profit. J.D.

[D]

Yes, you can. Why would it be so much cheaper other than it's legal?

[A]

Go ahead. So 350 for OC?

[F]

Actually, actually, it's usually more expensive if you weigh it outright because the. The legislation with the. They don't let them use the pesticides.

[A]

27 seconds, hard out. 25 seconds, I'm out of here. I gotta hang up. So kick it. Keep going.

[F]

Everything has to be tested from the state, which makes it more expensive, the black markets more profitable.

[A]

Okay, what city, what state are you in?

[F]

I'm in Lafayette, Louisiana.

[A]

Do you mule it from Colorado? Are you a driver?

[F]

No.

[A]

He stuttered. He's stuttered. We'll be right back.

[C]

Are you ready to go meet your new little brother, Billy?

[A]

Sure, dad. Dad?

[C]

Yeah, son?

[A]

Where do little brothers come from?

[C]

Well, a stork brings em.

[A]

Oh, so Mommy a stork.

[C]

Yes. Yes, she did, Billy. Your mother's a dirty, dirty woman. And live from Dallas, Texas, it's Saturday morning. It's the John Clay Wolf show, starring John Clay Wolf with J.D. ryan, Michael Turley and Bobby Brown, and featuring DJ Pre K, Rush Limbo, Keith Richard, Ramiro Romo, Randy the Chipmunk and Satan, the Prince of Darkness. And now your host, John Clay Wolf.

[A]

I think that Satan is the one who got marijuana voted through all these states. We'll talk to him later about why, I think. Okay. If you made Jack Daniels available to little kids Would that be good or bad?

[D]

That would be bad.

[A]

I just think that. You don't think everybody's smoking weed and doing edibles up in Colorado and all.

[D]

These other bad middle schoolers.

[C]

Wait a minute.

[A]

Oh, of course they are. Shut up, Turley. They turned them into candy, for Christ's sakes. I mean, when, remember when I was. When you were a little kid in, in kindergarten and they'd send out those notes to your parents, say watch out for Mickey Mouse stamps. They have LSD on the back of them.

[D]

That's true.

[A]

That was true a hundred years ago. It was literally 40 years ago. And now they're making candy called look like packaging and they're selling it with high potent weed in it. It's Satan, I tell you. It's Satan. Big Daddy in Houston, good morning.

[F]

Hey, listen, I've been listening to y' all show. I'm fixing to take off here in just a little bit.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

To head back up to great state of Colorado.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

People have a misconception about this legalized of the marijuana, the canopy.

[A]

Okay?

[F]

If you look at a company up in Canada, they just went this year, they just went on the stock market and the CEO made $1.1 billion after his investment.

[A]

Okay?

[F]

Colorado police departments do. Not all the police departments don't want federal, federal money from the government. They make enough money off of us, off of growers and the storefront that they don't need the federal government money. And if you look at them, they're all driving brand new cop cars. They all got pay raise. The school districts, they're all new. And also the teachers got pay raises because they took the tax money and they dedicated it straight to the school and the police department and the fire department.

[A]

And Betsy Ross used to make George Washington's clothes. At a hint, man, Betsy Ross used to make George Washington's clothes out of him. Yeah, she was a good woman, man.

[C]

We're gonna pay Van Halen to get back together too.

[A]

And Michael and Katie.

[F]

Good morning.

[A]

Michael and Katie, good morning. Yes, sir.

[F]

Good morning.

[A]

What you got?

[F]

Hey, man, these, these, these people on here that are saying they're paying 450 and stuff for an ounce. Tell them that they can call me anytime.

[C]

That's what I said.

[A]

Give me, give me the wade dot com.

[F]

No, no, no, but for real, I mean, I mean, I'm in Houston, Texas, and we can get it here for under 200, no problem. So this guy's saying they're paying 450. That sounds a little ridiculous, but is that Mexican?

[A]

Ditch or Colorado kind.

[D]

I was gonna ask, is it good? The good stuff?

[F]

This is the top shelf. I have. I have brothers in Colorado out there and run dispensaries.

[A]

Your friends in Colorado are jealous of what you got in Texas.

[B]

No, they're the ones.

[F]

They're the ones shipping it.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

Now, what about the good old Mexican. What about the good old Mexican, Ditch? Is it. Is it still? I've been watching. I watched Narcos, the Mexican version. I don't know if you watched it. Where they. Where they're moving all the weed. Why can Colorado and California grow better weed than Mexico? Isn't that racist? Isn't that a racist statement to say that our weed is better than Mexicans? Isn't that putting the Mexican down again? No, I mean, and think about the. Hang on, everybody. Hold up, hold up. Remember this? I mean, who is the best green thumb? Who's in the landscaping business deeper than anybody? Good point. Mexicans got a point, right? So for us to say that the white boys can grow better weed than them, that's a. That's a kick in the crotch, man. What do you think, Mike?

[F]

I have to agree with you.

[C]

That's. I don't know.

[A]

We stumped him. Oh, Normando, you have. You have comments. You're. You're a. You're a.

[D]

A.

[A]

You're a pro at this. But, yeah, Mexicans, call in and stand up for your landscaping skills, Damn it. Don't let those hippies sit there and get so stoned and start trying to convince everybody that they're so smart. We know it's you. We know you guys are the real deal.

[B]

Good morning. Good morning. Yes, I'll be a patient for 40 years myself.

[D]

Patient? Yes.

[B]

I. I've been smoking for 40 years. But I will tell you who. The one who makes the best, who take cares of the most of the strength, and they go hydro and all that, believe it or not, is the Canadian. The Canadian has the best steel and the best weed in the world. I am from the north, guys, and from the north, everything comes from that border that you don't want to put a wall. But most of the best, we come from Canada.

[A]

We've got Doug McKenzie here in the studio with us. Doug.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Doug.

[B]

How you doing?

[C]

Yeah, that's just because I was gonna ask, you know. You know, about the Canadian wheat. Like, what are you paying?

[B]

The Canadians got a little bit more finesse. They talk to them and they caress them.

[A]

They talk like they talk to who they talk to. What's them?

[B]

Well, the Canadians like to talk to their plants when they grow it. They talk to them, they caress them, they wipe them.

[A]

What do they say to their plants?

[C]

Yeah, well, you know, you get the plant you have in the pot, you know, and you bring it to the window because it doesn't live there. It's got its own little spot, the back of the back of the bureau. Bring it to the window and say, hey, good morning, sunshine. And you say its name to it like it might be named Harvey. Good morning, Harvey. You're gonna grow some nice buds today.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, you're looking like maybe I over watered you a little bit. Sorry. Come on, make daddy some good buds. We're gonna get lots of sunshine, watch reruns of Gilligan's Isle to have a great time. Okay. Good night, Harvey.

[A]

So you tuck Harvey in also.

[C]

See you tomorrow. Oh, sorry.

[A]

What about in the middle of the night? Do you leave him alone?

[C]

No, sometimes we wake up and have a snack, you know, you and Harvey, couple of pro life miracle spikes.

[A]

So what you're saying is just like kids, be involved in their life, raise your children well and they'll grow up, up, you know, to have more productive lives.

[C]

Yeah, give them a little pat on the butt sometimes.

[A]

Don't, don't stick them in the corner in a dark room, you know, have them around and talk to them and keep. So just raise your plants well and you'll be better.

[C]

Yeah, you'll have so much you can sell it cheap. You know, a week paying ozs like 14 pence. It's a great deal.

[A]

Oh yeah, 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Okay. You know, it's, it feels like this is a risque topic, but I'm telling you, dude, from where I just came from, it's not. It's on every billboard, it's on the radio, it's on the TV. They have them like 7 11s are like donut shops.

[C]

It's finally happening, man.

[A]

It's unbelievable.

[C]

It's finally mining.

[A]

That is normal.

[C]

How long have we been saying people our age, someday it's gotta happen.

[A]

It's gotta, it did it gotta happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Norm, have you had any Colorado combo?

[B]

Well, I, I, I, I, I, I'd never be able to, to make it to Colorado now. Most of it, if I forget something.

[A]

I want to give, I want to. Hypothetically, if it was real, you know, I couldn't do it. But if it was fake, we could hyper hypothetically give uncle Norm and uncle Bobbo a tootsie roll edible it's 9 o'. Clock. So we can like mark you down as a 9 o' clock drop and then see what the elves brought in store for you and see how it affects you. So.

[E]

So if they were to do it, when would it take effect?

[D]

How long does that take?

[A]

I don't know. How long does it take? I mean if that fat. I mean they're both wide girth males.

[C]

Lotharios.

[B]

So why I go looking one ugly but okay.

[D]

Right.

[E]

Not saying I'm an expert or anything, but you know, I've heard if you are empty stomach.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

It should hit in about 30 minutes.

[D]

Is that what it is? 30?

[E]

If you're. You're full, it could take a little longer.

[D]

Makes sense.

[E]

So. But the ride lasts usually about two hours. Or depending on your tolerance seat could be an hour.

[B]

You've heard?

[E]

That's what I've heard.

[A]

People talk like it takes as long as it would to fly to Colorado. Pretty much the ride. Good morning, you're on the air. Hello, you're on the air. Ah, you chicken ass hung up. Finally got on. And you hung up. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Good morning, San Diego. San Diego, go what? Run burgers? You say stay classy, stay classy, says Norm's Canadian accent. Sounds Jamaican. Good morning. You're there?

[F]

Yeah, man, it sound like it had a little rock of fire. And that accent from Canada.

[A]

Where are you from?

[F]

Oh yeah, it fits the bill. I'm from south Louisiana.

[A]

Akunas called out your Canadian accent as Jamaican.

[F]

Canadian actor.

[A]

Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you for notifying us. We will talk to the engineering department about it. Speaking of Kun ass, as we hired a new guy, another new guy joined the club in Baton Rouge. Glenn Abear. Welcome aboard, sir.

[D]

What does he do?

[A]

He's. He's a wholesaler. He's been around forever down there.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And so any dealers in south Louisiana, Mississippi in the broadcast area listen to the show. Glenn comes in there, says he's with me. He is. And he's. He buys a lot of cars.

[D]

It's just exploding. This company's wild to watch.

[A]

We've got a new office there in Baton Rouge next to Albertsons. You can look it [e-mail] and of course Vegas. And we started buying the cars from the dealerships in the past few weeks in Vegas too. The trade ins as opposed, you know, along with the guys leaving CarMax coming next door to us to get a better bid. If they don't, we'd give Them a hundred dollars? I can tell you we haven't paid $100 to anybody in Vegas yet because we beat every car made spin that we've looked at.

[D]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah. Go to getmetheven.com. if we don't beat your car, max bid. We will pay you a hundred dollars.

[E]

With a one minute bid. Right.

[A]

We only. Did you see how many cars we have numbered for the auction? There's a lot. Did you see it this morning?

[E]

I didn't know the number can go that high.

[C]

Really?

[A]

So in lane 16 for next week.

[D]

I was just thinking over the holidays things would slow down.

[A]

No, in lane 16.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Next week we have 358.

[D]

Norman laughing at me.

[A]

Are you gonna step all over me or are you gonna talk?

[D]

I was gonna step on you.

[A]

Okay. In line 16 with 358.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And in lane 17 we have 356. I don't know what the math is on that, man. How many Ozzies is that? That's a lot.

[C]

714.

[A]

Yeah, that's a lot. There's no way we're gonna get that many cross, but I think we'll get 620 across because we have shrink, you know. We have that many set up for the auction on Wednesday in Dallas. Auto auction. Dallas is the hub for the country. It's equidistant. It's kind of like FedEx.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Why does everything fly in and out of Memphis? Because it's got a good central location. You may send something across from. You may send something from Austin to San Antonio. Yeah, but it goes to Memphis. Right. So that's why we hub out of Dallas, is because California, New York, Florida, everybody can have decent transportation from Dallas. So we have a national marketplace in Dallas, Texas, at the Dallas auto auction. And we're the largest wholesale distributor, the second largest in the country right now. Well, right this minute would be the largest. But the real guys. Bob Holland said up in Pennsylvania, he's been. He's been a massive machine for decades. And he my mentor. He gave me a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of tips. Actually, I was up at 7 o' clock this morning on a conference call getting tips. You heard that too? Weren't you turning? Yeah, he was busting balls. Busting those balls. It's like, like Sopranos wholesale meeting. Hey, Paulie. Hey, Stevie. Get your ass over here. We'll be right back. Now back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[C]

You read the Times, huh?

[A]

You read the New Republic?

[F]

No, I've heard of it.

[A]

Call them toll free, 1800, 800 radio. Well, I was reading that.

[C]

It's interesting, cuz what it says is.

[A]

That you don't know what the you're talking about is the John Clay warfare. That's the truth. We've got two interesting callers here. Okay, I want to talk to this first in Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge. Dylan, good morning.

[F]

Hey, how you doing?

[A]

Good, good.

[F]

I want to tell you two things. I want to tell you two things. First thing is my aunt works as a florist at the Albertson on Airline highway in Baton Rouge. And she told me over Christmas she ran some flowers next door to y' all place.

[A]

That's awesome.

[E]

She did. And the weird thing about it is I called our guy over, Rob, and asked him about it and he's like, well, oh, I. I gave those to my girlfriend. I didn't know that was for the show.

[A]

It's like, yeah, man, those are for us, not for you. So Rob's girlfriend, if you're listening, he lied to you. He lied to you. And congratulations on your new baby.

[E]

That's awesome. Yeah, I think she brought him over there next door.

[D]

And that's great.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, that's fun. Manny, what's your story in Rochester? Manny?

[F]

Yes, sir?

[A]

The note on my. The note on my cue says him and his mom used to grow weed.

[F]

Yeah. Without her knowledge.

[D]

Without her knowledge.

[A]

Thank you for sharing that. Manny. Yeah, Manny. Is your name Manuel? Are you. Are you a Latin man?

[F]

Yes, I am.

[A]

So do you. Do you hear what I'm saying about these Colorado weed growers claiming that they're better than calling y' all stuff Mexican ditch? Because, I mean, I think that. I think that Mexicans and Mexican Americans are better landscapers than Coloradians. What do you think?

[F]

Well, the old. It goes back to the old saying, who's got the greener thumb? And it's all in the thumb. How you take care of your plant. It's like you're culturing a beautiful babe right there and it's going to grow to give you a lot of little babies.

[A]

Chavez in San Antonio, perfect guy for this conversation. How are you?

[F]

Fine.

[A]

What's your take on all this? Colorado versus Mexican.

[F]

Weed growers just put a lot of fertilizer.

[A]

So are you from Mexico or were you born in San Antonio? In Texas.

[C]

Texas.

[F]

I was born in Texas. The United States.

[A]

Why is it funny? Norman, you're Puerto Rican. The hell are you laughing about? Hey, Chavez, we picked Norm. We picked Norman up and we did that Operation Airdrop and we were saving people Stranding people in San Juan, Puerto Rico. And he begged to come back.

[B]

That's a fact.

[A]

Yes, yes. And now he's our. He's our slave mechanic. He's our crew chief. You know, those. Those Puerto Ricans and Cubans can keep those cars running forever. So that's like. We need to bring up some real mechanics, guys that really know the current technology.

[D]

And he does what, 500 cars a week?

[A]

Hey, a 15 challenger RT classic. It's got hellcat rims. It's a 13 challenger. What color is it?

[F]

Yeah, it's a 13 red with a white pinstripe.

[A]

Is it a sticker pinstripe or a painted on.

[F]

Factory?

[A]

Okay, good. Is it. Does it have the stripes on the hood and the sides or just the. Or just the side?

[F]

Just the sides.

[A]

Is it classic? It what they call the classic trim package. So does it say Challenger in the old seventies? I like it. So does it have the Cragar wheels?

[F]

No, I put Hellcat rims on it with 275 forties.

[A]

Leave it to a Mexican to take a Mexican looking wheel and turn it into something else. He's not a hater.

[E]

He's a Texan.

[A]

He's the accidental racist. But you're not Mexican. You're Texas. I'm German. JD's gay. Turley's a Jew.

[D]

He's not.

[A]

Hey, I don't know, Chavez. What do you want for this thing?

[F]

I'm asking 18. Five.

[A]

Okay, I'll give 16 grand.

[F]

How about 17?

[A]

I can't make any money there. And I need to make a profit so I can keep coming to you every Saturday morning. So you guys got a tithe and put a little in the plate. You got it. You got to pay the preacher, but we will keep our hands off your knees. Steve, good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Good morning. I don't know what I walked into, but I like it.

[D]

Right?

[A]

It's confusing. It's just. It's just confusion.

[F]

All I heard was, well, these Mexicans and Cubans can keep a car on the road. And that is a fact.

[C]

Fact.

[A]

This is a fact. And body work. Body work.

[C]

Oh, is that our guy?

[A]

Well, Steve, really, what we were talking about is, is the Colorado, you know, all the best pot comes out of Colorado, man. And, you know, and like, even. What?

[C]

That's our guy.

[A]

I know exactly what it is. Shut up, Bob. I've been doing this a while. My God almighty. Okay, I'll get there. We've got it. We've got a comedian on the phone with Us. Hey, Baba, why don't you introduce him since I don't know what I'm doing. Hey, what's this button do? Where are we?

[C]

I was just surprised he popped up so fast like that. Usually we don't have live quality.

[A]

Well, I was gonna slide him in. Cool. Like, until you blew it.

[C]

If you haven't seen Steve Trevino's act, you're missing a lot. He's got a new special coming out this month. I'm sure you'll ask him about that, Josh.

[A]

Go ahead, Bob. Take it away, Bob. Oh, it's you, Steve. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute.

[D]

We're so close to a cool, smooth landing. And then Baba went.

[C]

Oh, man, I didn't know you knew. I didn't know you knew. Steve.

[F]

Hi.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you, you, you certainly did walk into something. How you doing?

[F]

I'm doing. I'm doing great, man. And we. Were you guys talking about marijuana in Colorado? I was just in Vegas and I ate half a gummy bear and died. You should try it.

[A]

He died.

[C]

You were playing New Braunfels tonight and we, we broadcast all over the place. New Braunfels is the gig tonight. You got some shows coming up too, in Bakersfield and Sacramento and all over California. Vegas later in the year. And we wanted to talk to you. Your new special is coming out. Man, I just love your stuff.

[F]

Well, thank you. It's about family. It's about my wife. It's about how much I hate her. And women seem to get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's why they call you America's husband, right?

[F]

Well, pretty much. I mean, well, it is kind of crazy that I go on stage, my wife does something to me, I go on stage, I talk about it. And 60% of my fans are women.

[C]

Really?

[F]

It's the women that are like, look, honey, I'm not crazy. It's normal.

[C]

That's who's buying all your stuff these days.

[D]

How does your wife feel about this?

[F]

Well, it buys Louis Vuitton. So she's happy.

[D]

She keeps her happy.

[E]

Now, do you work any of this material out with your wife? I'm not saying. The reason I'm asking that is because I had to do a stand up gig before and I did my material all about my wife. Now she, she and she. And what happened was she ended up being in stick on in audience while I was doing it, which was very uncomfortable. So is that the same type of thing you had happened to you?

[F]

No, not really. I mean, and the funny Part is. Is if. If. If my wife is in the audience after the show, I'll say, hey, you know, my wife, Captain Evil's over there, and everybody wants to take a picture with her and not me.

[C]

So she gets some limb left that's.

[F]

Literally become the star of the show.

[C]

Hey, Steve, when did you up and move out to the left coast, man? You're a Texas boy. How are you liking California?

[F]

Well, I hate California, but I actually moved back to Texas. I live in New Braunfels now.

[C]

Oh, man, I'm glad you're back.

[F]

Somebody ran a red light in California and totaled my vehicle with my wife in it. And I. And the driver was illegal. The passenger was illegal. Neither one of them had driver's licenses, and we got sued. And that was the day that I realized that I have to go back to Texas.

[C]

Well, that's a pretty good excuse for moving. We're talking to Steve Trevino. He's got shows tonight in New Braunfels, Texas, going to play out west coast. You're going down to Florida later in the month?

[F]

Yep. I'll be in Naples, Florida. Well, not later on in the month. Super bowl weekend, which is in February. But we're doing Bakersfield, we're doing Sacramento, we're doing Shoot. I got Vegas coming up in May. I mean, I'm always on tour. It's what I do. It's how I make my money, you.

[C]

Know, You've done a bit of writing, too, for some pretty prominent guys in the industry. Carlos Mencia, you helped with his first Comedy Central show, and you did some writing for Pitbull. That's all I know about that. You got to tell me what went on there.

[F]

Well, you know what? We did a show for Pitbull back before he was huge. He was just big. And we, you know, we did it there in Miami, and it was a great experience to meet the guy and hang out with him, and we're still friends to this day, which is pretty awesome.

[C]

So he comes off as super friendly, very approachable and engaging. Is he the same guy in person when he's. When he's off the stage, off the screen?

[F]

Oh, he's a class act, man. He really is. He's a class act. He would, you know, treat my wife very respectfully, and he's just a really great class act. And I would like to go back to talking to Chavez and his car.

[C]

If you can. Juan.

[A]

Juan.

[C]

Clay Wolf has taken a short siesta. But I'll tell you what, your new special's coming out Pretty quick, later this month. You've done some good work in the past. I love your family stuff. What would you tell your wife about this special that's coming out? Something personal for us that we don't know already.

[F]

You know what? It is very real. It's so real that my wife and I are actually, you know, I tell a story about. About delivering our baby, and my wife and I are now pregnant again. And my wife was filling out a form and she was literally using my joke to get some of the information. That's how real the act is. Because it is real and it is honest and it's everyday life.

[D]

I gotta ask to you, we're on in Vegas.

[B]

And you.

[D]

There's a time when you had your wife with you in Vegas and it kind of went wrong. Yeah.

[F]

Oh, dude, it's. Well, it's gone wrong several times in Vegas. This last time with my in laws, my father in law and I had a plan to bite the leg of a gummy bear and play craps. That was our plan. And then an hour later, I can't find my father in law and I go, I finally find him. I go, I go, you okay? And he goes, you gave me acid. It's acid. And I'm like, no, dude, it's pot. I go, did you bite the leg? He goes, yeah, I bit the leg, but it didn't do anything. So I ate the whole thing. Didn't do anything. So I ate another one.

[A]

Oh, no.

[F]

I was like, you better. You better buckle up. Buck up. And Steve, my wife finally catches up to us and she's like, what'd you do to my dad? I go, I didn't do anything to you, dad. We had a plan. Bite the leg.

[D]

Our plan.

[F]

Are you high? I go, no, because we had a plan. And your father got all wasted and I had to babysit him. And now I know where you get it from.

[C]

Comedians always got to be the brains of the operation, right? You can catch Steve Trevino tonight in New Braunfels. You're gonna be in Bakersfield at the old Buck Owens gig later this month.

[F]

Oh, man. Look, I'm. I'm a country music fan. I love country music. You know, the Crystal palace is a famous place. I just want to be on that stage. So I'm super excited to. And by the way, I mean, look, I don't know how you feel, but, you know, the middle of California, man, there's some good people there. Los Angeles could fall into the water and so could San Francisco, and California would be Perfect.

[C]

Oh, you're preaching to the choir, Steve. We love Bakersfield and I like what you do. Let us know when you get back around again, man. Always nice having you. Steve Trevino has a new special, Till Death Death out later this month. You can pick it up everywhere.

[E]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[F]

I appreciate you guys. Thank you so much.

[D]

Take care, man. And Michael, we take it a break and we'll be back with more of the John Clay Wolf and John Clay Wolf included, right after this.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[D]

San Diego today is going to be sunny in 72 just like it's been all freaking years.

[A]

What about Nevada Hotel and Slutty in Nevada. Call them toll free. 1800, 800 radio in Louisiana. Louisiana continue to be drunk for years to come. And now Senor Juan Clay Wolf and Texas will be redneck. 800-800-7234. Trent in Needville.05 Duramax with 200, something thousand miles. Good Lord almighty. Why don't you just keep driving it? Just drive her till she dies. Trent, you there?

[F]

I need a bigger truck. Yes sir, I'm here.

[A]

You need a bigger truck, like a Dually?

[F]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Okay. I think that, I think the rig's worth four grand.

[F]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Okay. I'm just not gonna go, I'm not gonna go stupid on these. Mild out, you know, Dodge Cummins, 200,000 miles, they really do it. But the rest of them, they don't. 800, 807. Who's moaning in the microphone?

[D]

Norman's over here going in the mic.

[B]

These 228 just works on me. I don't know.

[C]

JD and I, while you were talking, we're doing the slowest 60 second slow burn. Take looking around. What is that?

[A]

What's that growling?

[C]

We finally, we arrived at Norman at the same time and he was going.

[A]

Norman is our crew chief, he's from Puerto Rico. And he, when he, when he heard the miles that high, he was like, oh no, no. I, I can't get this car through arbitration. And I know John, crazy John will sell it on a green light. What that means is when we sell our cars at the auctions, you know there's red light, green light. It's not just a kids game. It's. It's a, it's a announcement game. Green light means ride and drive. The buyer has a guarantee on the motor transmit pretty much everything under $500 is non. Anything over $500 is arbitratable.

[B]

A lot of workings on that.

[A]

So it's New year's welcome to 2019. We have we'll have our biggest auction at the Dallas auto auction on Wednesday. We have right now we have 714cars numbers amazing.

[C]

Biggest sale of the year so far.

[A]

Which there's no way we'll get that many across the block because we'll have some shrink because normal go through and like this one needs an airbag module. You know the airbags lights on. We got to order this part and this one has a busted bumper and we need to fix that. Things that are recon items that that won't make the sale. But at a 714 I mean if we knock 100 off of that that's 614 and we were advertising as a 600 so I think we're going to hit our mark. But typical Puerto Rican opportunist.

[D]

What does that mean?

[A]

You know wait until you've got 714 cars ready to go.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

Or trying to get ready to go big, big week. And then the Puerto Rican comes up and he wants a race.

[D]

Oh, he has you over a barrel. Well maybe I'll just not work this way week.

[B]

Well yeah. At least let's put it this way gentlemen. I came to office, not to office. I came to my work at the same time Donald Trump took office. Look I, I got all white hair. He still his orange hair still on it. I, he, he promised a wall. The wall didn't happen with me. Whatever that was promised it was delivered. So that's why I'm sitting here tonight.

[A]

So Norman wants to play plead his case on his race. We're not going to get into dollar amounts because that's that, that's nobody's business. But we can talk in broad strokes. So Norman, I, I have some complaints.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I'm very happy with you coming down here from Canada.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, and, and we loved your enthusiasm. I think you've been a better coach. I think you've been more of a morale coach than you have a mechanic.

[D]

He's a great.

[A]

I'm not saying you're a bad mechanic. Please don't take it as such. He's saying you the next value to me in your monetary position is I've got to give credit to your morale and cheerleader and let's go and we can do this and I've done this before. You've been very good in that regards and you make believers of non believers. So I appreciate that more than the because when we did the raise last year that's what I was banking on. Let me Tell you some problems I have with your management skills.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You told me when we get on this new system, everything's gonna be better. You're gonna do this, you're gonna do that. And like when we have arbitrations and cars come back and we fix them and we do this, you're terrible about keeping up with notes and letting people know where they're at and managing your fleet.

[B]

Well, yeah. Sometimes I got. Because I don't got 20 cars or 30 cars when I came here. Now I got seven Honda. If you know that now when it comes to value in this way, I have to rely on other people. When I rely on other people, that means that I am not doing the job that I. That I usually do. So therefore, I have to be as good as my people are.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right now, what I'm doing is training you people. Actually, I've been training. More than anything that I've been doing, I'm training. I tell this guy how to do. It is simple. When you see a car, you have to look at it, and you have to pass a judgment on that car. It is a princess or it is a whore.

[D]

A whore.

[B]

That is simple. And we want to keep this in simple, lame terms. And that's the way I like to express it, because I got a mentor, too, and that mentor told me that this is the way we had to explain things. We had to explain it.

[C]

Stupid proof.

[A]

Everything you're saying sounds good. It all sounds so damn good. Absolutely.

[B]

It is the truth.

[A]

However, if you go through, like, some. Norman, we have an arbitration list.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

Cars that got turned down for X, Y, or Z. Things that we have to repair or announce on a second sale. And it's Norman's job to say princess or princess is fixed. We found the crown. We put her back on her head. And I have a note that says that. So when I sell it, I know what to do. Can't fix. Announce. Xyz.

[E]

Right.

[A]

She's got a tattoo.

[B]

She.

[A]

She had a heroin problem, and she. She was raised in a. In a T. In juvie.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Okay. So I. I got to know these things. And you're not updating that. Why?

[B]

When the new system came about. About the new system came about, and that is you got. The system itself have certain ways that you get to it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I am. It is something.

[A]

Let me tell you the way you get to it. You got a big desk and a big computer screen and a login. Why don't you use it?

[B]

I need. I need to thank you for reminding me that I will do it. Yes.

[D]

We hit the goal.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And never was told to me. After I fixed the car, I had to babysit. You babysit the car back in. Okay, I will do it. That's not a problem.

[A]

I mean, how the hell am I supposed to know what's going on? Well, I thought. And then I sell it cheap because I think it's still broke. And you spent eleven hundred dollars fixing it.

[B]

I understand. They just assumption is the mother of.

[A]

We already said we got 700 cars going to cross the block. How the hell am I, you know, 2080. I've got a really good memory. That's probably.

[B]

I am a witness of that. That's a fact.

[A]

That's probably my strongest suit. But we're. We're getting to the point where my memory can't keep up to 700.

[B]

No, no, no. I understand. So what are we going to do? We're going to take. I know that this became a problem. It was brought up to me a little late, but I will take care.

[A]

Of it because I'm busting the balls of your manager. He's getting in trouble. And you know the old saying s runs downhill.

[B]

I know. I know exactly what you mean.

[A]

So in that little email chain yesterday, did you notice Brandy really thought this was funny because we were busting your balls. Because at some point the BS has to stop and the reality has to press and you've got to sit down and be the man that you promised to be. Quit being the cheerleader and start being the player.

[B]

Okay. Okay. I will take it that too hard. But that's.

[A]

So do this with me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

On this raise that we discussed. Okay. I did exactly what I said I would do to this point, have I not?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Okay, good. He came down. I did. He had a little issue up there where he came from. I took care of the issue. He got down. We've done everything. He and I have been homeboy partners. Perfect. So now it's time to hit the next thing that we talked about.

[D]

Next level.

[A]

And in order to hit that, you got to show to me, prove to me that you can do the thing that you promised me you could do is get this thing tightened up. And these cars that are out at shops that you don't know where they are. And Glenn had to take it away from you. That's not good.

[B]

Oh, Glenn had to take it away.

[A]

That's what he says. Oh, my. Oh, maybe we need Glenn to call.

[D]

Yeah, maybe.

[B]

Maybe Glenn have to call.

[A]

Maybe there's too much of this in your life. Paul and Groves.

[C]

What?

[A]

What is it you like? Paul? Hit it quick. 10 seconds. Paul and Gross. Paul. Hey, yeah, real. I got five seconds. Go.

[F]

What's up?

[A]

Not much. See, that's. Go ahead.

[F]

Talk about the weed grows in Colorado and Mexico and Canada.

[A]

Yeah, he. We gotta go. We'll be right back. 800-800-7234, Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios. It's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Jeff, what you got?

[F]

Hey, good morning, y'.

[E]

All.

[F]

I was listening to your smoking in the Bandit idea. I think that's pretty cool. I thought maybe we could add a little to the plot and say one of the state legalizes marijuana and now we need to get a shipment of guns.

[A]

You quick hit them up now. 800, 800 radio.

[C]

Well, that's the whole idea.

[A]

You know what's funny is right up drink all day if you don't start in the morning. That was the whole plot, dude. Now, John Clay Wolf. But right after we did that show two months ago, then they announced Clint Eastwood's new movie, Mule Mu. Same thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just without the Bandit.

[C]

Outstanding film, by the way. I enjoyed it.

[A]

Just to recap, we're talking to Norman about his 2019 raise that he was promised three years ago, which we, we he came down here on a schedule of advancement.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. You know, you got plan all plan your work and work your pre planned. And we've run into a point where we feel like Norman might have tapped out. Like capped out in his, his management ability.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And he's like, no. Okay, so, so I'm like, okay, well, finish the job.

[D]

More bullets in a gun.

[A]

Yeah. To do what you know how to do.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And a moment ago we were talking and about his manager, right, the operations manager. Glenn.

[D]

Glenn.

[A]

And how Glenn's been getting his balls busted because Norman's not getting his job done.

[D]

Okay, so Glenn answers to Norman.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

That's the whole thing. The whole thing around.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I, I. Hey, everybody thinks that I am a chief.

[D]

No, you're an Indian.

[A]

Yeah, well, you've told me. It's set up mob rules. What are you.

[B]

Oh, my. Bruce, I am an earner. I am a good hand. I create money. I, I, this is what I do.

[A]

The next level up is.

[B]

Let me, let me summarize my job to you. I had to make sure the 700 cars make it through that lane. You saying there is a hundred that is going to stay behind? No, no, but you got to understand.

[A]

There'S also transportation that won't make it.

[B]

Well, yeah. Yeah. I don't take that in account because.

[A]

Then we've got another lady that doesn't two now that do nothing but manage all the inbound freight.

[D]

I can't even imagine how that.

[A]

But no, Norman's actual director that he answers to.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Is Glenn.

[D]

Glenn. Got it.

[A]

Glenn used to be the operations manager for Texas Direct in Houston.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

And he and I met him down there years ago, became good friends, and he came up here to Fort Worth, to Dallas to. To be the ops manager for this. And actually, surprisingly, we have Glenn on the phone. Good morning, Glenn.

[B]

Morning, class.

[F]

Good morning, guys.

[A]

Oh, wow. Oh, boy.

[F]

Norman. Hey, Norman.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

We're getting crushed out here. I got 70 cars outside the gate, and I hear you on the radio.

[C]

Really?

[B]

You got 70 cars?

[F]

We're going through a sh. Getting cars moved to the vendors, checking lights. We're getting everything done.

[B]

Oh, my God. I trained everybody well down there. That's good that everything can come together.

[D]

Get that. I trained everybody well. It's good that everything's coming together so well.

[A]

So. So Glenn is saying that everyone is out there working hard for our biggest sale of our career on Wednesday. And Norman's here on the radio today, and Norman's saying he's such a good manager that he set it up where everyone can operate without him. And I think that's the fundamental concern here, is it not, Glenn?

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Well, give us some more detail, please. What would you. Hang on. Let me stop off. What would you like to see out of Norman in 2019? What is your New Year's resolution for Norman?

[F]

My New Year's resolution for Norman is to know where his cars are at when he sends him off lot to our vendors to get repaired.

[A]

Okay. And what could he do to help with that?

[F]

Oh, I have already helped. I have a spreadsheet. I have somebody who does it. I have somebody who manages all that for him. But.

[A]

Brandy has input.

[B]

Yeah, he got it.

[A]

Hang on. Hold on. We've got. Put her on speaker.

[C]

Bring her over.

[A]

Let's listen.

[B]

Let's.

[A]

Let's get this cleared up. The listeners deserve the truth.

[B]

Yeah, bring the cheerleader on.

[A]

We're talking Norman about his. We're talking to Norman about his raise that he. That he feels that is deserved in 2019. So we're laying out some guidelines for maybe what he could. Can do, what we'd like to see so that he could get that race.

[B]

Yeah, I would need to know, though.

[F]

Really, Norman.

[B]

Come on, Brandy. Give me the.

[F]

I love Norman. And everybody is here working except all of Norman's team. None of them are here. That's what he trained them to do.

[A]

Ouch. Norman hurt.

[D]

That hurt me.

[F]

I would not raise him.

[A]

No, We've got a vote against it.

[E]

I didn't know.

[A]

This is a. So hold on.

[F]

Borderline fire.

[A]

Wow. So, Brandy, what is your New Year's resolution for Norman? Your New Year's resolution wish that.

[F]

I mean, he's the only mechanic I know with clean hands.

[A]

Oh, man, Norman, this is not going good. This didn't turn well.

[B]

I know. Come on.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

At least give me a little.

[A]

So, Brandy, let's be specific. If you were to put together a New Year's resolution raise wish for Norman, what would it be? What would you like to see out of him?

[F]

I would like to see him stay at work all day. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

I would like to see him mentor his guys better instead of trusting them to do their job. Because. Because they're learning how to not do their job. Like, you have to herd the cattle.

[A]

And does your cowboy get stoned and go to sleep? Is that the problem?

[F]

No, no. He's social. Yes. Norman is the best social butterfly I've ever seen. Yes, he's social with everybody out here, and they loved him to death. Here comes the Puerto Rican. The greatest guy ever.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

I mean, he buys them lunch on your tab.

[B]

I mean, absolutely. We call that a vig.

[A]

So. So. So Norman is a lobbyist. He's a politician. All right? So do we need to redefine his job rules? Pr. Okay. But I think he's a very, very talented mechanic. Is there something we could do to get that back out of him? What we saw when we first. When he first moved here from Puerto.

[F]

Rico to get his hands dirty again, just like Randy said, or. And he needs to be with his dog more because they could learn some tricks of the trade from Norman. There's absolutely no question. He's probably the most gifted technician I have ever seen.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

And I've been around a lot of good ones.

[A]

When he first got here, he made me spend, like, $7,000 on a scanner. And this $10,000 on this and all this stuff. Is he using it?

[B]

Oh, he doesn't know about the pickup truck.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Oh, yeah. And there's another truck that he found that he wants to convert over to one of ours. We'll talk about that later.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think I. I'm in the. Let's. Let's. Let's be. Let's get Norman more efficient Mode than laying more on top of him right now. So. So we got to wrap this up. So what is our New Year's resolution for Norman In a couple of seconds. Sentences.

[B]

Come on, be nice.

[F]

Be more involved. Be less of a social butterfly and more of a trainer. And more of a trainer. You talked about training earlier. Let's get it finished, because the more guys know, then the more you can take off.

[A]

And what about keeping up the notes on what the status is on cars that he promised me that when we got on this new system, he'd be so good at it. Everything.

[F]

John, do what? Obviously, when. When he says the greatest piece of software ever is the new software system and he doesn't use it.

[B]

Yeah, it works, though, once the system works.

[A]

Okay. All right, so I think we've defined what we need to do, and we'll revisit this in six weeks. Norman, is that fair?

[B]

Well, okay.

[D]

So what percentage of a raise are you getting?

[B]

Oh, no, no, no. We're not going to get into that because.

[A]

And I think right now.

[B]

Brandy going to start voting. Vomiting. I think right now on the desk.

[A]

I think right now it's zero.

[D]

It's.

[A]

Right now it's zero percent.

[D]

That was the ironic part of my statement.

[A]

Right now it's zero percent.

[B]

I don't want nobody be mad at me when I come back to work.

[D]

Right.

[A]

It's zero percent. And. And we're going to look at it in six weeks and if he can deliver the next level of his professionalism. Yeah. Okay.

[E]

Evaluation.

[A]

There you go, guys. And y' all say we don't have any structure around here.

[C]

Damn. That's so disappointing.

[A]

Tony, good morning. You're on the air.

[F]

Hey, good morning, guys. How are you?

[A]

We're just cutting up, having fun. What you got?

[F]

Hear that? I got a 2012 Ford F150 Raptor with about 88, 000 miles on it.

[A]

Is it the crew or the extended.

[F]

It's the crew.

[A]

Okay. Does it have a sunroof?

[F]

Yes, it's. It's pretty much loaded. Nav leather, obviously. It's got the big V8, four wheel drive, all that.

[A]

Mm. Is it lifted or is it stock?

[F]

It's stock. It had some aftermarket shocks on it, but I had took those off and put the original socks back on it.

[A]

What color?

[F]

It's red.

[A]

Red? Red. Red. Raptor average. Rougher clean.

[F]

It's mint.

[A]

Mint. 88, 000 miles. No check engine lights. No service lights? No. No dummy lights. Is there anything Norman has to tend to? Because as you Hear we have a little breakdown in that department lately.

[F]

All Norman needs to do is get off those personal ads off of Craigslist and go back to work.

[A]

Okay? We. We will give $27,000 for the truck.

[F]

Okay? Thank you very much.

[A]

Gotta give me the. And on that one. He said there's nothing to. 8008-0072-3480-0800-Radio 06 Silverado lowered with 56 crew cab William Frisco. Is it wheeled and tired and all geeked out or is it just lowered?

[F]

No, it's geeked out.

[A]

Okay, I need to see pictures then. It's crazy to bid this thing.

[F]

I sent you pictures on Facebook, messaged you a long time ago. I hate to say it, John, but I've actually got. Got some family issues. But I've got a ton of money into this thing, and I don't want JD And Norman and all these people laughing. But it's never been in the rain.

[A]

Okay?

[F]

I have windshield wipers for it, but I don't have kids. I bought the wife a house. I bought a garage for that truck.

[A]

Okay, I understand you love it.

[F]

Built those rooms for that truck, man.

[A]

Boyd Cottington did.

[F]

Yeah, boy, Connington did. Before he passed. I went to high school with his kid.

[A]

Okay, so you got a real truck. So don't send it to me on Facebook. Nobody listening. Please don't send them to me on Facebook. Go to givemetheven.com build it. It takes 60 seconds. Seriously? Throw a couple pictures in. The system's gonna throw a number immediately based off of the data, but if it's lifted or lowered, it can't see that. So it can't add for that or deduct if you did a bad job, which I know you did a good job. So take in mind when you load things in the. Give me the vin. It can't bid a conversion because conversions are too big of a variable anyway. Load it up, we'll get it bought. Go ahead and send a picture of the title. That means you're serious. That means we know you're ready to sell that bitch. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800, Randy the chipmunk. See, Randy, Randy came in here and he said at 9 o' clock he was going to take some of those edibles from Colorado that his buddy Scooter brought down. Sure, Randy. How are they? Yeah, we see what the big deal is, man.

[D]

No effect to you. No effect at all.

[A]

It tasted good.

[D]

It tasted good.

[A]

Mm. Tastes good.

[D]

But it'd been like an ass Milky Way taste good? Hour and 20 minutes and nothing with rich nougat. The rich nougat.

[A]

You got any candy?

[D]

Ah, you're a little nibbly. Are you?

[A]

Yeah, I'm fuzzy as hell. What do they call this kind of thing?

[D]

What do you call them?

[A]

Chocolate nightmare.

[D]

Is it a bad thing? Are you having a bad experience?

[A]

Yeah, I think you'll be mad.

[D]

What?

[A]

You should see what you look like, man. Oh, terrifying.

[D]

Are you having like an LSD experience? Quit it.

[A]

We have a listener, Randy on Facebook that just posted a picture. He's building. Building a Carvana. Oh yeah. In Kansas City. Yeah. And he's got our average rougher clean. Sell that T shirt on in front of the structure of the carvana. Hell yeah, bubba. Hey, I love, I love carvana. They're one of our good customers. Getting that mother and ride. Absolutely. It's ride. You know what you can do?

[C]

What?

[A]

We should hop in that Carvana. What's a Carvana? And go. Oh, really? No, that's a Dodge Caravan. I'm really mad.

[D]

Carvana is a building.

[A]

So Randy, you're. You're obsessive gambler. What do you think about the cowboy Seahawks tonight? It's gonna be tough. All gonna be tough. All defense, both sides. You're not gonna see a lot of long, long scoring plays. Okay. Yeah. Did you look at the line? Cuz it's a home game and SE Seattle is favored by two. Favored by two? Yeah. Your final is going to be Cowboys 21, Seahawks 17. Cowboys in lands.

[E]

Really?

[A]

That's good to know. My money's free to want against all that. And what about the Texans? Texans tough. You know, Colts and Texans in the ASC south, that's getting to be quite a satisfying deal. So just to recap, we have a stoned chipmunk doing sports recaps and sports line betting here on the show this morning. Go ahead. But this time, this time, unlike other chances, feast in his hand.

[F]

I'll start if you in place.

[A]

Everybody's coming to the game. Everybody's going for the ball. Houston's defense. I can't even pick this one. I can't pick which Andrew Luck will show up. The good Andrew Lutz or the sucky Andrew L. You just don't know. You ain't no Peyton Manning yet. What is the line on the Texans game? I have no idea. I did not look. Do you know Turley?

[E]

Yeah. The Texans are point and a half dog.

[C]

Dog.

[A]

Okay. Because I think that if I was betting on the Texans playing the Cowboys or I mean the Colts against Dallas or Houston. I think the Colts are gonna be either one of them. They. They smoked us so bad. Was it three weeks ago? The Colts?

[E]

Yeah. I think they're gonna win too. I agree. And I believe the Cowboys actually they're two and a half point favorites.

[A]

Oh well. I thought I looked last yesterday. They were dogs. Okay, real quick. I want to understand something and maybe we need to get into it the next segment because the answer's too long. But if the boys won the NFC east flat footed, why are they having to play in wild card weekend?

[E]

Because they had the worst record of the winners.

[A]

With that we'll be right back.

[C]

The chart clay bull.

[A]

I woke up early Sun Gotta listen to this one. This is a New Year's song. Gonna chase myself a ghost went down Camino Espinosa Gonna get me a divorce I'm gonna split with all my money See that girl who loves a horse It's New Year's Day. Happy New Year's everybody.

[D]

Yeah, baby. You had a great time. You had a blast. That's on Facebook. Snowmobile snowmobiling. Where were you again?

[A]

Pagosa Springs. Four foot of powder so deep. The day before we left we got four.

[D]

Did you bury one of the snowmobiles?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Because there's a picture when you always see handlebars.

[A]

No, I mean absolutely buried it.

[D]

Oh my God.

[A]

And then my. My co part was out there riding Snowshoe Dave. Turbo Dave and he found a powder field on top of the mountain and he hits a stump. Oh. Or a tree. It had a four foot tree. Tore his ski off.

[D]

Yeah. At least.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And we all. Little man 8 year old Dolan myself and he all rode back on a one seat snow of the bill an hour back to base game.

[D]

Oh my Lord.

[A]

It was a beat down.

[D]

I bet it was.

[A]

We got 700 something cars at the auction this week. We've been busting Norman's balls for too long. We. I'm so sorry Norman that you had to bear through this. But I think everybody can relate that that was the reason for the.

[B]

Yeah. This is okay. This is how it happens. This is how it goes. Always the boss wants more and more and more and never gonna end.

[E]

But it all ends at the mechanics.

[B]

So it is the way it is. We always strive for better and for be the best what we do. And. And that's the way that I that run my life too. There isn't another and another obstacles in my life that I had to conquer. Go ahead. Let's do this.

[E]

So you took it as constructive criticism?

[B]

Absolutely. It is not all the way to take it. I do, do. I do believe in myself, too. I. A lot of people tell me that I am a good mechanic, and that's good. I'm humble and hard, but I. I know that. Humble, humble, humble.

[A]

Okay, put them on hold, Deech. So you're humble at heart. Yeah, put them on hold, D.J. oh, my Lord God Almighty. Okay, so we have. Just. So we can just put the icing on the cake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We have a fellow on the phone that used to work with Norman before he came up with. From Puerto Rico. Before. Before we saved him from the islands. Wow. On. On national syndicated radio. So make, make sure. And this guy, I, I don't. I don't think he's a ball buster. I think he's. He's got a positive New Year's message for Norman because Norman wants a raise and we're trying to figure out if he's earned it yet.

[B]

Who is this guy?

[A]

Sandy, good morning. Are you there?

[F]

Hey, how are you?

[A]

Oh, I'm good, Mr. Sandy.

[F]

Norman. Is Norman on the phone on the show with us?

[A]

Norman is in the studio. We've had, We've had people, we've been discussing his raise. And here. Sandy, you and I don't know each other, but we went through several. We had his co workers calling in, his managers calling in. Here's their complaints. He's the only mechanic they know with clean hands. He's more of a politician and a cheerleader than a worker. They pointed out that there's 180 cars being delivered right now that were in recon. And he's hearing the radio playing around, around. And he's just not. He's just talking a better talk than he is getting it done. That's what they said. I didn't say it. And I wanted to hear what your experience was.

[F]

Well, listen, his. His political ability is definitely his strong point. You know, his mechanical abilities. Now, I don't know if that's really his strong point. I love the guy. I really love him. But no matter what was wrong with a car, for some reason, he would rip the dashboard out. Now, if you tell them this car's got a bad transmission, you get there the next day, the dashboard's out of the car. If you told him there's a noise in a motor, you get there the next day, his dashboard's out of the car. So the car never got sick, but the dashboards were always out of the car.

[A]

And what kind of cars are These you're talking about, are they like Volkswagen Bugs or Chevy Suburbans?

[F]

Oh, no, no, no. I'm talking about Bentley Mulzaine. I'm talking about a Rolls Royce Ghost. I'm talking about Mercedes S class cars, dashboards ripped apart, and there was always some screws left over when they went back together. I do love the guy. I do love the guy.

[A]

We only have a minute left, and here's my experience with Norman. He does enough magic on enough stuff that we bite our lips and tongues on the rest of it. Did you experience that, too?

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. That's the truth. He does do some things. That son of a bitch just saved me some money.

[F]

Let me ask you a question. Now that you've designated this part of the show, about this Norman thing, what are you going to do about the raise, John?

[A]

Well, what we did is put him on six weeks, and we're going to reevaluate in six weeks and see if we can get him to get a little more organized and more responsible for his inventory. And then if he raises to the occasion, we're going to do it, because that was the deal. And I did give him a raise last year when he came down from Pennsylvania. We said, here's how this is going to work. Work year one this year to that, year three, this, and we've hit all of them. But now we're at the point where we need a little more out of Norman.

[F]

Well, I wish Norman a happy New Year, and best of luck with his raid.

[A]

Thank you, sir.

[F]

Thanks for having me on.

[A]

Thanks, Sandy. I'll see you later. And everybody else that we're going to lose, go to givemetheven.com if you want to sell your car.

[E]

We got another segment.

[A]

We can try to fix it.

[D]

We will.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And we'll be back with our number four in the podcast. What's. Oh, hell, I thought you were out of time. Well, then why is it blinking red?

[E]

I didn't change it.

[A]

Thanks, Turley.

[B]

Oh, my.

[D]

You have a clock, John? We'll get you one of those.

[A]

Okay, I'm looking at it.

[D]

We'll get you one that works.

[A]

How much time we got left, Turley?

[E]

You got plenty of time. Ten minutes.

[A]

Oh, ten minutes. Thanks, Mike. Nothing like seeing at a red blinking light screaming at you to get off and shutting down.

[D]

Going, need a break. Smoke a little dope. Have a little.

[A]

Hey, speaking of that, Super Dave Osborne died.

[D]

Yeah, he did. Absolutely. Who else died? Like a bunch of people died all of a sudden.

[A]

Queen guitarist created a soundtrack for the NASA flight.

[D]

I didn't know that.

[A]

An aviation story for J.D.

[D]

Ryan. I didn't even know.

[C]

He's such a geek. Brian May is such a geek. Everybody knows since the Freddy movie came out that Brian May was an astrophysicist right before it became a rock.

[D]

Oh, rocket science. Well, yeah, it kind of is.

[C]

So he's very into all of NASA's endeavors and he actually created a soundtrack for their latest mission when they probe out the other day.

[D]

How cool is that?

[C]

And Charlie has audio of it.

[D]

I love to hear.

[E]

15 seconds.

[F]

We have lift off at NASA's new horizon.

[D]

Rising space.

[A]

Getting closer every day Somewhere in the distance a wonder will appear one day. Is that Adam Lambert up? All right, enough of that.

[C]

Charlie and I were talking about that cuz somebody's trying to be totally very much like Freddy Mercury on that vocal. But I don't believe that's him.

[A]

Yeah, Mean gre. Mean Jean Green died.

[C]

Oh, that's a big one. I've got to believe, folks, this occurred all because Rowdy Roddy Piper would not.

[F]

Recognize Ric Flair as the real world's champion. Hulk Hogan. The WWF champion feels the same as Roddy Piper now.

[A]

You know, Flair doesn't want Hogan's belt.

[F]

He just wants to beat him. Whatever is left. Flair says he's gonna leave for the Undertaker at the Survivor Series.

[A]

Well, we'll have to see about that.

[C]

Yeah, Mean Gene.

[A]

And what happened? Is your timer right this time?

[E]

Yeah, this. This time it's right. Maybe we should evaluate my job here. My time clock is way off.

[F]

It happens.

[A]

All right, so now we're fixing to.

[E]

Go to break and then have another segment.

[A]

Yeah, we. We haven't. Oh, we have another.

[E]

Yeah, we still have another segment.

[A]

Yeah, I'm screwed up, everybody. Norman, get the hell out of here. You got everybody screwed up. My God.

[D]

Norman's fault.

[A]

It's all Norman's fault.

[B]

Always, always it's the mechanic's fault. That's why I got your car.

[D]

Thank God you're here. Otherwise it had been my fault.

[A]

We've got a LSU versus UT next season. We'll get into that next segment. My name is John Clay Wolf by Cars on the radio. [e-mail] we'll be right back. Oh yeah, we're back. Back to the John Clay Wolf show presented by givemethevin.com everyone be quiet. Why are you so grumpy? Call in 800. 800 radio.

[C]

I hate this, son.

[E]

I'm know sun bad.

[A]

Oh, wake up and snort the coffee. And now Senor Juan Clay Wolf, remember givemetheven.com buys motorcycles and RVs, coaches, trailers, all that. Not. Not just regular trailers, but like RV trailers. Go to. Give me the vin.com todd in San Diego. Good morning.

[F]

Morning.

[A]

05 Tundra with 130 on it. Is it leather? Cloth?

[F]

It's cloth. John, I want to apologize. It's a 08.

[A]

It's 08. Okay. And is it the big back door or the small back door?

[F]

It's the big back door.

[A]

So it's SR5. Does it have the good wheels or the cheap wheels? It should have the good, like 18 inch alloy wheels because it's the big back door. I'm gonna. I'm gonna bid it like that. When we do the deal, you can send us the pictures. An 08 ton with a buck 32 wheel drive. Crewmax average, rough or clean.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[F]

Excuse me.

[A]

Average, rough or clean. Condition, clean. 11 grand. 12. 11 to 12. Dylan?

[F]

Yeah. I just wanted to tell you your wish has come true. LSU's gonna travel to UT Austin next year to start off the football season.

[A]

Oh, good.

[F]

And I seen what you all. I seen what y'.

[A]

All.

[F]

Longhorn did to the other dog and went out to ugly the dog the other night the other day.

[A]

And I was very surprised. I mean, Tom Herman has shown his strength, dude. Charlie Strong coming from Louisville with that great quarterback in that great season, he got to Austin, did nothing. Nothing. Herman comes up from Houston, does something, and like every week, it just keeps getting better because UT started out crappy and they got stronger and stronger and stronger. But LSU's coach, man, I'm a fan. Are you. Are you glad they replaced him with less? With him?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. You know, it's pretty early to call it, but I'm very excited about having a border battle between UT and between Texas and Louisiana like we have with Texas and Oklahoma. There's nothing funner. I mean, it's like the Hunger Games. They've had five episodes of it. And I think we need to make an annual deal where they're playing at in Austin. First game of the year.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah. First game of the year, we'll be in Austin.

[A]

There's gonna be some travel and travel and traveling people from south Louisiana to come see that. There'll be as many yellow. Yep.

[F]

Oscar, NASA's gonna make the trip.

[A]

They can. Y' all can. Thank you, sir.

[E]

Not to rain on the UT parade, okay, But. But the bowl games don't mean anything anymore.

[D]

Nothing.

[E]

Only bowl games that mean anything is the Championship, the playoffs. Because none of those players, the top tier players play. They don't have to because they're getting ready for the NFL. I didn't even really watch anything, any of those bowl games. I didn't because I don't, I don't care.

[A]

There's no real players. Yeah, but the players care. And I think the outcome was real.

[E]

No, because Georgia had some kids sit out. And not just that team. LSU barely won against Central Florida where they should have killed them because they had their top kids sit out.

[A]

So the playoff system has wrecked the bowl system.

[E]

Oh, totally trashed it. In fact, I would go on the line saying that you're going to see less bowl games coming up starting probably next year because the TV ratings are down. It's, it's, it doesn't mean anything unless they broaden the.

[A]

So that will get the expanded playoff network, which, which is what we need anyway.

[E]

Yes, because then you could put in.

[A]

Because if you had an expanded playoff network, then teams like Oklahoma could have a chance against teams like Alabama to beat them.

[E]

Well, I mean that didn't work out very well. No, exactly. But I think the matchups would be a little different.

[A]

Right.

[E]

And you never know, you might have.

[A]

A good friend of ours, Darren. He, I mean he likes spin a ton. Heading to Miami. We're going to beat Bama. And Kent kept saying, do you really think y' all are going to beat Alabama? He's like, man, the guys on the right radio and ESPN and the stats all over, I mean like for two weeks, like, do you really think that there's a chance that. Hell yeah, there's a chance. What was the final score? It was bad.

[E]

Well, I mean it, the score was a little closer than it really was. I mean I think they won by 13.

[A]

But at the end when, when B brought in their third string.

[E]

Yeah, it was, they were up big.

[A]

I think they brought in a second string coach at the second half. The beer vendors, they didn't want Saban to get tired.

[E]

Not as bad as Clemson Wax. Notorious Notre Dame. I mean they killed them.

[A]

Killed them. Yeah. I am sick of Clemson Bama championship games. Is this the third one in four years?

[F]

Fourth.

[E]

God, is it really fourth and yeah, something like that. Yeah.

[A]

It's about, it's, it's worse than the Patriots. And everybody hates the Patriots. Yes. Matt Peterson, you too.

[D]

You too.

[A]

I had this buddy I took to Cowboys game in a Patriots cow. He's big Patriots hunter homer. And they beat us. I, I, our relationship hadn't been the.

[D]

Same since over a football game.

[A]

It just really is just, you know, I, I just, I don't know, it just bothered me. I don't know, it just bothered me.

[E]

So are you gonna watch, are you gonna watch NFL playoffs though?

[A]

I'm going.

[E]

You're going to.

[A]

We have a big, we have a big advertiser. Oh, a company we advertise a lot with. Give me the vendors. And I called him to cancel and I said but if you get me.

[D]

Some playoffs, seriously, you use that.

[A]

If you can give me some. Play this. Two days ago he's like, I was like hey, I got an idea. Can you get me some playoff tickets to yall suite? We don't have any left. I said okay fine, I'll just take 30 minutes later. They're being couriered over.

[E]

Nice.

[D]

Remember that thing I said I was kidding.

[A]

So yes, I will be attending the Seahawks.

[D]

Love to watch salespeople jump. Funny as that. All right.

[E]

It's a white out John, so wear your white. Oh it's white out mean wearing white everybody.

[D]

I didn't know that towels wear white. Yeah, okay.

[E]

And the Texans, I don't know if they're doing a white out too but I imagine it's a whole Texas thing right now.

[A]

Where is that game? Is it Houston?

[E]

Yes, at Houston.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

So all playoff games, 3:30 is Central Time. Central Time, 3:30, Texans.

[A]

Okay, so I'm gonna get off the air, do a little work, take an hour long nap, turn on the Texans game at halftime and it'll be football until 11 o' clock tonight and that's it.

[E]

And then you got playoffs, more games Sunday, those in the San Diego. I know it's not in San Diego anymore, they're in Los Angeles. But you can watch Chargers.

[A]

Yeah, they're great. Chiefs, Chargers, Chiefs. Tonight.

[E]

No, no, Sunday afternoon.

[A]

Tomorrow. The remake of that. Wait, yeah, that was the game. That was two months ago. That was the best game of the year.

[C]

Chargers, Chiefs gonna be great. A great one. I think.

[A]

So what's the line?

[E]

It's not Chargers Chiefs, it's Chargers Ravens.

[A]

Ah, okay. Yeah, well screw the cuz the Chiefs have been that Mahomes.

[E]

But that's going to be a good game too. And I think that the Chargers end up playing them in the divisional round. The Chiefs.

[C]

So I hope so.

[E]

And then at 3:30 tomorrow central time, Eagles versus the Bears, which will be another good game. So lots of football. And then Monday of course, the national championship game.

[A]

Oh, that's this Monday. Y. What time is that? Seven probably.

[E]

Probably. Yeah, seven.

[A]

I'M not even gonna watch it. Really. I might. I mean, I'll probably turn it on at a boredom.

[E]

There's at least 30 to 40 NFL players are going to be on the screen there.

[A]

So you might want to watch future NFL players.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

I'm just so tired of this Bama Clemson game every year. I mean, this playoff system I was so excited about, how can they be that dominant? Why is Clemson so good? This is South Carolina, right? Or North Carolina. Which Carolina is south?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, what is it that makes them so, so damn good?

[E]

It's got, they got a good coach who's a good recruiter.

[D]

Yeah, recruiting. It's. They're fishing from outside the pond and.

[E]

I don't know if they're paying or not, but, you know.

[D]

No, not a who. Players.

[A]

Players.

[C]

Yeah, that happens.

[D]

No, here, have a gummy.

[A]

It'd be like giving an auctioneer a hundred dollars. That would never happen. 800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4.

[D]

Never happened.

[A]

800, 800 radio. We didn't, we really didn't do that many cars on the air this morning. But that doesn't mean we don't want to buy a ton just because we've got, we have a, our biggest sale at the Dallas auto auctions. If you want to buy one of them, grab a car dealer, have them log in to give me the VINs. Lane at the doubt. Mannheim, Dallas, Wednesday morning, 9:20am Start. They can do it on simulcast. They can buy them right in front of you on a computer screen. I know a lot of dealers that would do it for a flat 500 because you have to have a dealer's license to get into our deal. Right, but just ask them and, and get on simulcast and steal a car because we got too many. There's no question there's gonna be some that are too cheap. Big losers.

[B]

Why?

[E]

It's a fleece sale, Right?

[A]

Later, Senator Ted Cruz said that liberals want Texas to be just like California, right down to tofu and silicon and dyed hair. From the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf Show. Really? Ted Cruz, you're coming out against dyed hair. Call John toll free. Cheap bastards. 1-800-800-RADIO. Your hair is so black, it voted against you. Now, John Clay Wolf, Whose hair is so black, it voted against him.

[C]

Good old Senator Ted, Ted Cruz, one of my favorite.

[D]

He's got a beard. He's got a beard too now.

[C]

And he's talking some sense about a few things. And I, I'm as baffled as you are.

[A]

What hey, big, another aviation story for you.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Shout out to the aep. I think it's aep. AEP Drone squad sitting in the middle of West Texas right now, working. Look at those oil field guys, man.

[D]

No kidding.

[A]

That are sitting there with radio controls in their hands and hard hats and safety vests on. What are they running? Drones.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. Pipeline. How cool is that? That's pretty cool. Pretty cool. Listen to us.

[D]

One of those guys get paid a lot. Drone pilots.

[A]

Everybody in the oil field does. Well, Bob, you. You did a field stint?

[C]

I was a materials handler. I mean, that's. That's one end of it, but. Yeah, the pay was.

[A]

Was it the best pay you've ever had?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, I thought it was.

[C]

Not by any stretch, but it was. It was very good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Perfectly sufficient.

[A]

What is price? Oil. Is it still down? I don't know.

[D]

I don't pay attention.

[A]

It went down in the 40s, I think, the other day. 800-800-72348. 800 radio. Good morning, Corpus, Austin, New Orleans, Midland.

[C]

O death.

[A]

Oklahoma city, Houston, Texas. ESPN 97.5. Hey, hey, hey, hey. So we haven't had Rush Limbo on this morning. We've been so busy, Jack and busting Norman's chops, Right? Yeah. We got away from what we normally do.

[D]

But we had so much fun.

[A]

We did have fun. Rush, are you there?

[E]

See if you dial him up here real quick.

[D]

It's New Year.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

He's not off vacation yet.

[C]

No, I can't take it off.

[D]

There he is. John.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm glad they finally put me through to you. Coming to you from the western end of the bunker. Hear the excellence in broadcasting work. I have to apologize.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

My listeners hear the John Clay Wolf Show. Listen.

[D]

What?

[C]

I can't see anything.

[A]

Things.

[C]

Why I'm wearing a blindfold.

[A]

Why?

[C]

It's the bird box challenge.

[D]

God, stop it.

[C]

I know, I'm stupid. Hannity, talk me into this. 3 o' clock this morning.

[D]

Take it off.

[C]

Beginning to listen.

[A]

For those of y' all who are unaware. The bird box. What's it? Bird bath?

[D]

Bird box.

[A]

It's a TV show. On what?

[D]

It's a movie.

[E]

Movie on Netflix.

[D]

Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix. That is the biggest waste of two hours. Hours you will spend this year.

[A]

What's it about?

[E]

It's about the end of the world. And you can't see the. The creatures.

[D]

Yeah. If you see the creatures, you become one of them and you kill yourself. So you gotta wear a blindfold everywhere. And the bird in the box is. Is like a bird in the mines.

[C]

Well, you know, starting it right, though. The Challenge works like this. And we all know about the, the TV program. The Challenge starts this way. You take a lemon? Some cayenne pepper?

[D]

No, that's a little.

[C]

Not acid.

[D]

No, that's, that's a fast.

[C]

And some red dot acid.

[D]

That's a. No, that's a cleanse.

[C]

Hit and a half. Depending on your body weight, you may take two. I had two.

[D]

Are you high? You're high right now, aren't you, John? Did you send him a chewy too?

[A]

We, we mailed him a box from Colorado.

[D]

Look, we, we don't call it getting high.

[C]

We call it seeking.

[D]

Call prep.

[C]

The truth.

[A]

Seeking the truth.

[C]

Luckily, I have my attorney last here at my side.

[A]

Okay, Brush. Back to business.

[C]

And he's a great attorney despite his racial handicap.

[A]

Higher straight. What do you think about the federal government shutdown and the standoff on the wall?

[C]

I think it's an excellent idea. I think we should try it for at least 8 to 12 weeks out of every year.

[A]

Okay, that's it.

[C]

Except for firemen.

[A]

So do you know these are causing problems? What about tax return money and Walmart cashiers?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, the tax folks.

[C]

These are the important people.

[D]

Not sending out checks. Yeah, people at the TSA are not getting paid, so they're not coming to work.

[C]

Car wash attendants, dog walkers.

[D]

No, it's federal employees, I believe. That's not dog walkers.

[C]

Some of them should work, but not I. I'm on sabbatical until I find out how to get this wax off. Live from behind the golden microphone, the excellent and broadcasting network.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Talent on loan from God.

[A]

Rush is definitely tripping this morning.

[D]

He is, man.

[C]

Tripped out.

[A]

I'll be damned.

[D]

Yes, like you spread those little chewies all over you. Gave our own Bobo some as well. Allegedly.

[A]

So. So, Bobo, allegedly, if you took a chibachu, let's say, from Colorado, one of those edible THC packed chocolates, if you took one at 9 o', clock, what time would it be? Allegedly, it'd be 11, 11 now. So that would have time for it to set in. So, allegedly, if that took place, what would you be feeling allegedly now?

[C]

Hey, man, I'll tell you what. It's just like most other days.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You just gotta do your best to maintain.

[D]

I see. All right, Tells us everything.

[C]

Don't let them get to you, man. People gonna say nay. Been saying nay since day one.

[D]

Right, right.

[C]

Just keep on trucking.

[D]

Just trucking.

[C]

Keep on chucking.

[A]

So allegedly he'd turn into Master McConaughey.

[C]

I don't know if that's completely true.

[A]

Do you feel anything?

[D]

All right, all right.

[C]

Absolutely not. I'm starting to get mad about the fellow that ripped me off on this thing. How much was that? 14. You expect to feel something?

[A]

Well, you're drinking over there, too, so you got to be feeling that, man. Are you so. Are you so rock bellied at this point, you don't even know when you're drinking?

[C]

I was going to interact adversely. Yeah, well, God D Liv I n.

[A]

Oh, hell, we've lost Bob. Over the next hours, he's gone. You'll hear nothing but character voices. The real guy, Satan. Satan. What do you think?

[E]

Oh, yeah. What does Satan think about.

[D]

You were talking earlier about Satan doing a lot of things. Like, you think this. This whole marijuana thing is maybe all Satan's work?

[A]

I do think it's Satan's work. I think it's the devil's workshop.

[C]

I'm gonna. And. And I'm not gonna admonish you about that, jd.

[F]

Normally I would.

[C]

I would really, really write you about a statement like that.

[D]

That it's you behind the marijuana.

[C]

I'll suffice to say, yes, surprisingly, I had nothing to do with it.

[D]

Really?

[A]

No. Can I make a comment?

[D]

Sure.

[A]

I hear the devil. Satan has a bit of a Rush Limbaugh accent delivery, but go ahead.

[C]

Well, of course, you know, we went to the same school. That's funny.

[D]

Didn't know y'.

[A]

All. So, so, so, so, so, Satan.

[C]

Close.

[A]

How did you spend your holiday season?

[C]

Well, it's all there. You know, we all need a vacation from time to time. And I know if you read the book, they say that Eve ate the apple and they both realized they were buck ass naked and kicked out of the garden. It doesn't exist anymore. Right. But it does. I vacationed there.

[D]

The Garden of Eden. You go to the Garden of Eden?

[C]

Late December every year. A lot of people don't realize the location.

[A]

Where is it?

[C]

Belize.

[D]

I believe you. You.

[C]

You know nothing about continental drift over the past 250,000 years. I'll tell you. Yeah, Belize. It's still there. It's just a long way from where it was.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Go back. Enjoy the produce. It's a. It's a wonderful trip.

[A]

Wasted, huh?

[C]

Yeah. There's no such thing as a tree. You can't eat.

[D]

Go for it.

[C]

You deserve.

[A]

Deserve it. JD what have you got in the news?

[C]

Tell them Satan sent you.

[D]

Did you guys see the video of Bevo attacking The. The dog this week. Well, now PETA is calling for universities to get rid of live animal mascots after the Texas Bevo charge. I mean, come on. They're looking for a little photo op in the big. In the big. You know, the animals come after the dog. You think you wouldn't have done that on purpose.

[C]

I don't think they've had that before, though.

[D]

Why wouldn't. Can I ask you a question? Why would you have a. However many thousand pound whatever that thing is not chained to something. You got it behind the little stanchions that you use at Best Buy.

[C]

Why would you bring your dog to a bullfight?

[D]

That's a good point. You see how quick that guy yanked that bulldog? It's almost like they knew it was going to happen.

[C]

It was a very near thing.

[A]

Alleged. Allegedly. Just like.

[E]

Allegedly.

[D]

Allegedly.

[C]

Right.

[E]

He has been sedated also.

[A]

Like to put him down. The killer. No, no, no. Not.

[E]

No, no, no. When he gets there, he's gotten a little medicine.

[A]

Steroid shot.

[D]

You would still chop away. Obviously it didn't work because.

[A]

Is that why he was trying to eat the astroturf?

[E]

No, it did work because if he wanted to to, he would have really went at that dog.

[D]

But my point is, why wouldn't you think ahead and go, hey, this might happen. Let's chain him to something or. Or use us something stronger than the. The Best Buy thing. All right, what else is going on? We have some of some, you know. You know, the little stanchions. All right. District judge Louis Stanton has rejected Ed Sheeran's call for a lawsuit. A share hand. What's a share hand, Sharon?

[A]

Oh, oh, the singer.

[D]

Ed Sheeran's call, accusing him of copying parts of Marvin Gaye's let's get it on for his number one hit, thinking out Loud. Okay. In case you haven't heard it, here's the song. Here's the first one. Here's Ed's tune.

[A]

When your legs don't work like they used to before and I can't sweep.

[C]

You off of your feet.

[A]

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks? Darling, I will be loving you.

[C]

Oh, I can hear now, too. We were listening to this before the show, and we really couldn't hear it, but. So they're accusing at sheared of ripping off this Marvin G. Marvin G.

[A]

No way.

[D]

Judge actually said he found substantial similarity.

[A]

How does a judge know?

[C]

I know.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Why?

[D]

Why would this.

[E]

What evidence? Hold on.

[A]

Come on. It's a lot Better.

[C]

The other song. The other song could be like a counter melody to this, though. Same chord structure. Exactly.

[D]

No one would know that but you. I mean, because you're a musician kind of person. I don't hear it.

[E]

A ripoff would be if you use the same beat or similar word.

[A]

You know, something Vanilla Ice. And under pressure from David Bowie.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Did he write a song about a girl kind of like this, about getting it out? Okay.

[D]

Yeah, but everybody does.

[A]

Was there a monetary award?

[D]

It hasn't gone to court yet. They're deciding whether to take it to court and the judge says. Okay, I'll let it go to a judge. Jury.

[E]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

That's a waste of money.

[D]

Continues. All right, what else? How. How spurned, how vicious can a woman be? Very, actually, when you. You be the right guy to ask this. Authorities on Long Island, New York, alleged that a woman tried to kill her estranged husband by poisoning his beverages. Here's the young lady.

[C]

A Long island woman indicted today accused.

[A]

Of trying to kill her estranged husband with antifreeze.

[D]

Renee Burke pleaded not guilty to several charges, including attempted murder, burglary and attempted assault. The Suffolk DA says Burke poured the poison into her husband's drinks on at least three occasions. The Holbrook woman faces a maximum of.

[C]

25 years in prison if convicted.

[A]

But the good thing is, is that Mr. Burke made it through the winter storm.

[C]

Man, I've seen a lot of getting even, but that's pretty, dude.

[D]

And it tastes really real sweet. It just tastes delicious.

[A]

Incredible. Did he die?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Nobody. They caught him.

[A]

But they caught her.

[D]

That's why. I mean, I'm sorry.

[A]

What do you say, honey? This tastes like hell. And start looking around the garage.

[D]

See, I don't know. I'd like to know more what it tastes like.

[C]

What it.

[A]

Yeah, because, you know, I haven't drank antifreeze in years.

[D]

Speaking of ex wives, we'll be back with more of the John Clay Wolf show and Ex Wife stories right after this important message.

[A]

Come up with me. Researchers in Hong Kong are reporting the.

[F]

First ever case of a human contracting rat hepatitis.

[A]

And now we return to the John Clay Wolf Show.

[F]

Now that guy has to call and.

[A]

Inform every rat he's ever slept with. This is the John Clay Wolf Show. So we were talking about vindictive women and radiator fluids.

[D]

Worst that's ever happened. This woman tried to kill. Killed the husband with her radiator.

[A]

You said you had a woman you had to lock in the bedroom.

[D]

I had one. No, I had to lock my bedroom door. When I slept at night, just because I didn't. It got to the point where I didn't.

[A]

Where was she?

[D]

She was in another part of the house.

[C]

Been there. Another one that. Yeah.

[B]

Dude.

[D]

Just because I had guns and things. And I thought, you know, I'm going to sleep here. I mean, and it was just.

[A]

Why was she so angry?

[D]

I don't know. Well, it was the end of the relationship and it was not turning out the way she wanted it to, but I mean, it was just. And she never really threatened me. Like pulled the gun and. Well, one time she pulled the knife. That's not true.

[A]

What? That was when she pulled a knife. What did she say?

[D]

She was drunk. It was drunk. You know. And then you pass it off to. Well, she's just out of control, cuz she's drunk. And I took it from her and hugged her and laid her down on the floor. Didn't hurt her.

[A]

Oh God. J. Listen. You lie.

[D]

No, I swear to God, I swear I don't lie. I don't lie. Why would I hurt her?

[A]

I mean, not hurt her, but I mean, you make it sound like some teddy bear move I did.

[D]

I basically held her and I held her and laid her down. Just said, calm down, stop this.

[E]

She's swinging a knife at you. How did you do it?

[D]

Calmly, because I got you just you catch her. I'm not saying it was great or I'm proud of this moment, but you grab her hand and you take the knife away. I don't think she intended to kill me. Had she intended to hurt me, she would have done it.

[C]

Well, you no doubt did the correct thing, but I don't think you're using the locked door technique correctly.

[D]

How am I supposed to do it?

[C]

Stay behind the locked door.

[D]

I didn't know. That was a different day. The locked door thing is, at night when I went to bed, I went. You know what? Maybe this is a good time to lock the door.

[C]

Been there.

[A]

So what about your story, Bob?

[C]

Totally different.

[D]

Identical to that except totally different.

[C]

No fracas at all.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

No fracas at all.

[A]

Fear.

[C]

No, just lock the door.

[D]

The bedroom door. So you were afraid of her for a reason.

[C]

And for a long, long time.

[D]

Well, I'm sorry. See, mine was. Mine was short. But let me explain. The knife thing and this and the locked door thing were different days.

[C]

No, I understand. I have no stories like that. And you asked me anyway.

[A]

Well, tell us your story.

[D]

Why were you afraid of her?

[C]

She's crazy.

[A]

But why was she mad?

[C]

Well, I'll tell You. And sometimes I'm not as amusing as I think I am.

[D]

There you go. Obviously, ladies and gentlemen, the understatement of.

[A]

Is this the little one that worked in Vernon?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, she was a spicy gal, wasn't she? Did she ever threaten you? Yeah, like, give me an example. In her voice.

[C]

Oh, man, I can't even. I can't even think of the words. It all came out in some kind of a Tennessee hillbilly jumbo sleep.

[A]

Yeah, like what I said, my mom said, my dad get this frying pan.

[C]

Yeah, it's nutty.

[D]

So long since.

[C]

But she's not that person anymore. Neither am I. The best thing we ever, ever did was have children. The second best thing we ever, ever, ever did was break up.

[D]

Break up? Yeah.

[C]

We've been fine ever since. And I don't have to lock my door.

[A]

Have you ever been hit by a woman?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yes. Have you?

[D]

I've never been hit by one.

[C]

When?

[A]

Did it leave a mark?

[C]

No, no, I mean, it's.

[D]

I've never.

[A]

I'm not. I mean, if a woman hit you and it left a mark, it doesn't mean you're weak. It means she's a good punch.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I. I have, and I found markings like that. But the woman was always gone.

[A]

So they hit you when you were asleep?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, not when I'm asleep. You. I could be. Stand up wide awake, you know. Sock me good in the eye.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, and I could pass out on the curb. Wow. Why is my lip all busted up?

[D]

The plot thick.

[C]

Where's all my money?

[D]

Where's my.

[C]

It may have been a woman.

[D]

That's.

[A]

I'm pretty sure it sounds like Boots in Vegas. No, kid. Yeah, we. We had that guy, Boots out in Vegas that worked at. Give me the Vinny. Got rolled at a 7:11. It was his claim. Man and woman were arguing. He got in the middle of it, got knocked out.

[F]

Out.

[C]

Wait a minute. What the hell happened to my arm?

[E]

Went disappearing for almost a week.

[A]

Week?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where?

[C]

My wallet.

[A]

They hit him so hard, it knocked the phone, the battery out of his.

[D]

Phone, his calendar off the wall.

[C]

It can go on. But, yeah, they could be very vindictive, Kathy. You ever had one like that, John? Well, I've heard your stories, man. I. I got a couple scary times.

[E]

Talk about it.

[A]

My wildest one was the first one. The high school girlfriend that rolled into the car. College girlfriend. She'd get drunk and get passionate and. And I'd have to hold her arms back.

[D]

Yeah, there we Go. So you've been there.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Right. Pointing fingers at me.

[A]

She'd get a little wild. Then when I heard that she was stripping in Denver, I had to fly up to Denver to see for myself.

[D]

Why, sure, you have to do it.

[A]

I couldn't believe it. And when she saw me in that place, the Diamond Cabaret, Denver, Colorado, she was not happy to see me. Oh. And when she walked up and tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around, and she's like, it's been seven goddamn years. And here you are messing up my life again. I'm like, hey, baby.

[D]

Just sitting.

[A]

Good to see you, too.

[C]

I was gonna give you $40.

[D]

Isn't that funny how they can still be mad so many years later?

[A]

I didn't even get to see your dance.

[D]

You leave.

[A]

This is a girl.

[D]

Did you get escorted out or did you.

[A]

No, no. Then we wound up sitting there talking for a while, and then she started getting drunk. And then her boyfriend showed up. And then she kept talking to me, me. And then he got mad and he left. And that's when she said, it's been seven years and you're still messing up.

[D]

Bye. Bye. Okay.

[A]

And then she told me about how she had connections to, like, mob people and she could have me killed. Okay. I think I'm about done here. Yeah.

[D]

Hey, you know what?

[A]

My business here, I think I'm gonna go snow skiing. Anybody know where a good ski slope is?

[D]

We've wrapped up this conversation. I believe I'll have a chew bulk. What do you call this was 15.

[A]

15 years ago, but, yeah, Colorado was great. Kids went skiing. I went snowmobiling. I just didn't want to get hurt on snow skis.

[D]

Oh, I totally understand that.

[A]

I, I, yeah, we've, we've. Business is so hectic right now. The last thing I need to do is get injured.

[D]

You're the place in your life where you should just. That's snowmobile.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's what you need.

[A]

And that's dangerous enough go on a cruise like me. Tell me about the cruise.

[D]

The cruise is amazing. Royal Royal Caribbean out of Galveston for seven days. We went to, went to Cozumel. We went to Cayman Grand Cayman, played with the stingrays. The stingrays come up and they just, they literally kiss you. They're very domesticated. They're used to humans coming up and feeding them. So they, they're. They love you.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

They're just all over you. It was just, it was amazing. You could sit on them. You can sit on the balcony, watch the Ocean go by or you can step out your door and there's a million things going on in the boat.

[A]

Was there a casino in the boat?

[D]

Casino in the ship. There was. There were water slides. There was a. One of those waverunner things where you can.

[A]

What did it cost?

[D]

Tax, title, license. It was. The ticket was about sixteen hundred dollars by the time total for two. Two people for a week. But by the time you do things like see this little drink holder here? By the time you do the drinks and a couple little this and then the other, it was about 2,500 bucks total.

[A]

That's cheap.

[D]

It's very cheap.

[A]

That's cheap for the places you go.

[D]

And the things you do.

[A]

Do you know what ski tickets cost at the good places?

[D]

No, I can't.

[A]

They're like 200 a day.

[D]

Day now A day.

[A]

Yeah, we didn't. We went to Wolf Creek up by a Pagosa strings and it was like 75 bucks. But if you go to Aspen or Vale or all. That's 200 bucks a day per person.

[D]

How many people with you?

[A]

I didn't go. We went to the cheap place.

[D]

Yeah, but still.

[A]

But it was. Wolf Creek's the best snow in Colorado. But it was. Yeah, it was. It was a blast. I. I caught the Rocky Mountain high. If I could make a living up there, I'd stay.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, I really.

[E]

It's awesome out there there.

[A]

I agree.

[E]

It's just the cost of living is pretty much comparable to Texas.

[C]

Really?

[E]

Yeah. Well, not an ass, not an Aspen. No, but I mean.

[A]

Let's clear. Claire, I was not in Aspen. No, I know now my mom. Because you like saying that I live this exotic lifestyle. I did. When you've lived. My mom moved to Aspen when I was in seventh grade. She hated my dad so much she left the state. I mean, just to be clear. So I would go and my mom was a very attractive woman. And she knew now that I'm 40 and I know what she was doing. She went up there and found her a rich ass man before she. Before her looks faded. And it worked well for her, except he was an alcoholic and he turned her into an alcoholic.

[D]

Go figure.

[A]

And she died Young at 58. So it didn't all work out great, J.D.

[D]

I didn't see it worked out great.

[A]

Just because you killed my mom. I mean, what. How did that happen?

[D]

Oh my Lord. And you know what? He'll tell himself that story in six weeks from now. He'll go, remember JD killed my mother, Rob.

[C]

And check out the big Stones on JD Right?

[A]

It's Aussie.

[C]

Most travelers would hesitate absolutely before they swim with a man.

[D]

Arrays, we had a blast here.

[C]

A dangerous, dangerous bunch.

[D]

And we'd like to thank everybody on Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

[A]

But did they give you a break? Is that why you keep plugging him or why the hell did you plug?

[D]

I think it was funny just to get you. Plug you all right.

[C]

Plug you right in the spine. Kill your dead set. 2 second and a half. That venom gets right down to you. You got to be.

[D]

There's all kinds of dope in Jamaica.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, my Lord.

[A]

Did y' all go to Jamaica?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Still go to one of the swinger nudist places?

[D]

No, we only. You only have a day. That's the downside of the cruise.

[A]

Have you convinced the new gal into your nude lifestyle?

[D]

No, those days are a little bit past us. That was earlier. That was earlier in my life.

[A]

That was at a 32 waistline.

[D]

That was a 32 waistline. 34 maybe for me. And I'm done.

[C]

We haven't talked about that in three years. Probably people who are new to the program did. Had no idea that JD Was a nudist.

[D]

Naturalist.

[A]

Tell us more, Bob.

[D]

A naturalist, A nat.

[C]

What's.

[E]

Was it a nudist or swinger?

[D]

A little bit of a both.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So when you're a swinger and you. And you see someone making out with your old lady, does it bother you when you're.

[D]

When you're doing that lifestyle, there are rules set, set up ahead of time, what you can do now? Well, you. That's. That's one of them that you're having to have a safe word is one of them anyway. And there's just things set up that you say that you can do this, you can do that. And so if you. If that's okay with you and you see that it doesn't bother you.

[A]

So do you think if you. You've got a really good relationship now, you got a really normal southern gal? I love her. She actually carries my name, which I appreciate. She's my cousin.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And do you think if you introduced her into this lifestyle, it would weaken your relationship?

[D]

It's just different. You do that with girls that you're not going to be with a long time because that way there's a worst case scenario.

[A]

Would you sell them for money? In the background, was there like a trading pit? Was there a trading pit behind the wall?

[D]

I'm not a pimp.

[A]

No.

[E]

So what about the married couples that.

[D]

Are swingers Most of the ones I know that were swingers eventually got divorced.

[E]

Ah.

[A]

Well, I guess she was. She slept around well.

[D]

Or. It just. It's not a solid kind of relationship for a long time.

[A]

You don't say.

[D]

Yeah, I'm just saying it was fun for the decade, for the time it happened. It was fun.

[A]

Bob, you and your girls ever gonna swing?

[C]

No. I would imagine it cast quite a Paul over a relationship.

[D]

It does.

[C]

I say. I would imagine because I'm really very vanilla clean Jean. It's. That's the truth.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You know, I mean, obviously there was.

[D]

A time and a place and the people you see at a new Just can't believe me are not people you want to see now ever.

[A]

So the swingers cruise that you just went on cruise.

[D]

It was Royal Caribbean. It was not a swingers cruise. It was not. It was not Delinton. It was just. There were kids, there were families, there were newlywed cruise. It was just awesome. It was just really, really. It was a lot more fun than I ever dreamed it would be.

[E]

But you've been on a swingers cruise though?

[D]

Nope, never have.

[A]

Did anyone recognize you as the Sir J.D. ryan? No.

[D]

That was really refreshing. I've been on dive boats in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico and had people go, are you J.D. ryan?

[A]

That guy?

[C]

But the ones that did recognize him recognized right away. Yeah. Really.

[A]

Nolan was blown away when we were in Colorado and our. The guy that we went snowmobiling with said, hey, who's that pinky guy on the podcast? And he's like, who is that? He's really funny. That kid. That kid that plays Hannah's nephew. I said, he's right there.

[D]

Right there.

[A]

He's like, how do they know us from up here? Like, man, they know what's happening.

[D]

Broadcast radio goes all over the world.

[C]

How fun.

[D]

He got his first recognition. You sign an autograph?

[A]

No.

[D]

You should start that. Yeah. Get some, some photos and have him sign them. Oh, yes. Feed this dude.

[B]

Feed this.

[D]

He's great.

[A]

He's funny.

[D]

He's so great.

[A]

We, I, I did it again. I slept through New Year's Eve ball drop.

[D]

Welcome to being old.

[C]

What are you doing?

[A]

I just, I just can't. I just get bored.

[D]

It's boring. What do you do?

[A]

Especially in, in mountain time. I mean, you go. Went through New York, then you go through, through Texas and then you get to mountains. Hell, man, it's one in the morning. We'll sleep. My wife really gets disappointed in it. She really hurts her feelings that I Fall asleep before the New Year's Eve.

[D]

What does she want to do? Just chill?

[A]

I don't know. We got. You got a bunch of kids. What do you do that, you know, just do the New York time with them and then put them to bed.

[C]

No, I skipped it for about 10 years too. I think we all do. Yeah, days are over now. Party hardy, Marty.

[D]

Party.

[C]

Catch a show.

[A]

Dude, I got four kids. Four. Two. Not three, but four kids when they're 14. Freaking Duggars when they're 14.

[C]

Plus, that's when you do it again. You just skip it for about 10 years. No kidding. I did. We all did. We're gonna skip out for a bit, but we'll be back with more of John Clay Wolf after this.

[A]

Oh, you gonna take me home tonight? Oh, down beside that red fire light oh, you going to let it all hang out? Fat bottom girls, you make the rocking world go around. Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. We're getting some big boob gals this morning. Hit them up right now, 1800, 800 radio. Bobo, those drops, you make me sound so tasteless.

[C]

What do you mean? What happens?

[A]

Oh, no, your voice changed.

[D]

Oh, no, that's how he hears himself.

[A]

When do we start to scream?

[D]

For those that don't know, boo had a choo choo about two hours ago.

[A]

Allegedly. Allegedly. Jay on line one. What city in. I'm sorry, what city are you in?

[F]

Houston.

[A]

Houston. Okay, okay. The note here says swingers have signals.

[D]

Of course.

[A]

What kind of signals?

[D]

Well, we were just talking about. There are cues. There are signals. There are free words or safe words, if you will, there. You set the rules out ahead of time very specifically so there's. Nobody gets their feelings hurt in the middle of things that are going on.

[A]

Let's hear Jay's version of signals.

[F]

All right, so here's the deal. There are certain grocery stores in certain suburbia areas and the Houston metro area, okay. And what happens is you put a pineapple in the front part of your cart and if it's standing up, that means it's a full on blown deal. If it's laying down, it means something else.

[A]

What's it mean if it's laying down?

[F]

Well, I want to play, she doesn't.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[E]

So wait, wait.

[A]

So if you and the wife are going through the grocery line with the pineapple in the front of your cart standing up, that's the signal saying we're game?

[F]

No, no, you're walking around the grocery store looking for your bread, your eggs and your cheese and Things like that. And the beer aisle and the wine aisle and all that. And the people are looking at you. It's funny. If you have a pineapple in your cart and if you're pineapple is standing up, it's a mama daddy party. If it's laying down, it's just a daddy, maybe mommy just party.

[A]

So what if I go to Tom Thumb today and just grab a pineapple, walk around with it in my hands.

[D]

Hi, big fella.

[F]

If you just grab a pineapple, put it in your cart, walk around and look at the faces.

[A]

Okay, Baba. Will you do that after?

[D]

Why would you do that instead of just going to a swingers night?

[A]

Hang on, hang on. It's like bow hunting versus rifle hunting. It'd be more of the wild. It's more of a. It's more of a game, you know, it's more organic. It's more in the. In the. In the woods. If you're in the grocery store, I guess, I mean, if you're at the swingers bar, that's like, you know.

[E]

Well, you can catch some good stuff at the grocery store though. Think about it.

[D]

But people, I guess.

[C]

And for the rest of his days, due to no fault on his own, every time he saw a pineapple apple, they suspect something was going on.

[A]

So now you know. This is a very educated.

[D]

Heard of that in all my life.

[A]

My wife likes pineapples. Here we go.

[D]

Oh, no. That's got nothing to do with anything.

[A]

Google this up, see if he's right.

[D]

No, my lord, I'm confused.

[C]

We were near frozen foods on the edge of the deli when we first saw the pineapple.

[A]

I've got those concrete pineapples on the front of my house. What's that mean? Oh, hey, secrets on my lord.

[D]

Your neighbor might be a swinger.

[A]

Is it the pineapples?

[D]

All I did is I typed in swingers and pineapples and that's what came up.

[C]

Outstanding.

[D]

I'm trying to. This is a New York Post article about that. I'm trying to.

[A]

Those damn New Yorkers.

[E]

So you have those pineapples in front of your house.

[A]

I've got pineapples in front of my house.

[D]

People who are up, but they were.

[A]

Already there when I bought it.

[C]

What kind of foot traffic have you got?

[D]

Pineapples is a kind of swinger. Oh, and some people have the pineapple door knockers in the form of a door knocker. That would be. Your neighbor is a swinger if they have a pineapple door knocker.

[A]

What if you have concrete Decorative pineapples on the front porch.

[D]

You don't want to go home during the day.

[A]

All right, well, now I know. Hey, speaking of kids, you know, I got all these kids, so. So we're up. I'm watching them playing outside in the snow.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

And a little baby day. Day. He's five. He'll always be called baby daddy. Yeah. But he. He's the. He's the one that. He didn't worry me, but he's pretty spicy. And Max is 12. Nolan's nine. They're out doing their thing. And Max is kind of a s head sometimes, and. And he. He took a icy snowball smashed day with it. So he's. I saw this go down, and daddy's crying, and he's upset.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And I'm like, I know that kid, and he's not going to take this well. And I just sat there and watched. Instead of going out there and jumping in the middle, I just sat there and watched.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It resolved. And I'll be damned. So Max turns around. You know, this is like maybe a minute after the whole deal. Hey, it's. Quit crying. Picks up a shovel and whacks him across the back.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[D]

For real? For real.

[A]

Oh, my Lord. It was a snow shovel, so it wasn't that heavy.

[D]

No, it's okay, bigger brother. You just go ahead and have some fun in the snow.

[A]

I just cracked it across his back. He's obviously not scared.

[D]

No.

[C]

You got to buy those boys some gloves.

[D]

No, that. That snowball thing was very cute. Why don't you take a nap?

[C]

Bust him with a shovel, man.

[A]

He's. He's like the. He's like. He's like the kid from Family Guy.

[D]

Lord.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just cracked him. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. We're running out of time. If anybody wants to get their car bid, we've got seven minutes left. Car truck, Corvettes, Ferraris, Camaros, what, Whatever.

[D]

And sort of the website and get it all done. Less than a minute, literally. You can get a bid on your vehicle. Instead of waiting two hours at CarMax or someplace. You can do this in a 60 seconds.

[A]

Givemetheven.com Guys, in Las Vegas, we have a office right there. Transport comes through every day and picks them all up out of our office in Las Vegas. Baton Rouge, same thing. All of South Louisiana. We funnel them into a area in Baton Rouge, and we have an office that there. We have a check cutter on site and at all of our locations, we can bust a check immediately, digitally. Fort Worth Dallas, Houston. We have a Westfield Road. We have an office in Westfield Road in Houston, same thing. We do not have an office in Oklahoma City, but it's close enough. We just run the drivers up there with checks.

[D]

And when I say 60 seconds, have a picture ready. So it's going to take you longer if you got to go outside and take a picture of the car. Have that ready to go.

[A]

Just go ahead and take the picture of the car before you go to the website. And then when you put in the VIN or the license plates, even easier because our. Our system will bust. That. It says, you know, is it a. Well, the. It. It only ask a couple of questions. That's why we say it takes 66. What's your zip code? What's your email address? It already knows the car. You put the miles in it, ask if it's been hurt before. Sure. Yes or no. And if it's broke. If it's broke, what's it cost to fix it? It's that simple. Well, the mechanic said $1200. Put $1200 in there.

[F]

Sure.

[A]

And then it'll in. In the info box, say air compressors out. Push the button with a picture and it'll throw a number right there.

[D]

I remember when you first came up with this, with this idea in this program. You're like, dude, that's never going to work. And you're like, yes, it will. Trust me, it does. It's. It's like magic.

[C]

Something's working. We're doing just shy of 700 vehicles at auction this Wednesday.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's quite a. Quite a notable growth from the start of this thing.

[A]

Thanks for bringing it up, Bob. It's not just scaring the hell out of me.

[D]

Bring it up again.

[A]

I keep looking at these numbers on this computer screen. Like, are you kidding me? It keeps growing. We've 730 cars checked in for. For Wednesday. How in the hell am I gonna rep 730 cars? Well, I mean, I've got a. We've got two lanes and Ken's gonna rep the other one. But, I mean, that's a lot. How. What's the most in one lane, whether we've ever done. Yeah, I don't know, man. Was it 250?

[E]

No, was it 300?

[A]

We sold. We sold. We sold 322. In one lane. In one lane. Yeah. Okay, so we probably ran 380, but that was in high market season. This isn't high market season. So if we have seven. So if we have 280 aside. I mean, we'll get through them, but more than that. Yeah.

[E]

Have 300 aside.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's right. Come on. 320 aside. Right. I can't do any math. No, I'm getting worried about it.

[D]

Don't be worried, Bobo.

[A]

I might need one of those Chiba Chews. Be all right. Yeah, be all right.

[D]

Just take it one car at a time.

[A]

See, and this is the. This is the problem. This is when I'll start drinking in the evenings. So I raise the bar. Let's see if we can drunk jump the bar. Here comes the high ball here. Here comes the pole vault. And then I start getting nervous about. Let's go have a beer here.

[C]

Hey, John, what are you going to do? You going to get scared now you get up. 700 course. 700 course. What are you going to. You going to take a. Take a.

[A]

How do you not scare?

[D]

Have you ever not made it through?

[A]

We got $10 million worth of merchandise rolling through the Dallas Auto auction.

[D]

When you put it that way, I'm scared.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

On your way to, you know.

[A]

On your way to what? On your way to hell. Yeah, I'm getting. I'm starting to get worried.

[C]

Well, what do we do? What do we do three months ago, go. We're doing two lanes down instead of one.

[A]

Well, what we did now is we've got two lanes stacked up as big as we had that one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I really, down deep think I've overloaded the boat.

[C]

Just telling you the truth, you know, add another lane.

[A]

It's not the lane they can only take. I mean, you can only crank so much money through one system. The buyer base is on. So the idea is, if we get up there on Wednesday and we have 150 to 200 hundred buyers online per site and another hundred in the gallery, then, yeah, we'll make it through. If we only have, like, a hundred, we won't. Well, we'll suck them out of money. They. They can only digest so much.

[D]

Makes sense.

[E]

So if dealers want to get out there and steal something, yeah, that'd be probably the day to go.

[D]

And your average Joe bloke can go. If they have a dealer friend, they can actually log on.

[A]

Right. Anybody that's a dealer that has a license is hooked up with Manheim Auctions. If they have that, then they can log in to the simulcast at Dallas Auto Auction and bid on the cars. And there's conditioner ports and pictures and all the data and that your dealer friend can help you through it. And I've got too many of them that will do it for 500 bucks. So they give 10,000 or they give 20,000, or they give 50,000 for one of our cars. They'll buy it for you in front of you on simulcast and charge you a $500 upcharge.

[D]

So get a great deal. Yeah.

[A]

So you can just sit there and say, bid again. Bid again. Or don't, don't stop. And you. We only got 700, but you buy one wholesale, so it'd be wholesale plus.

[E]

A nickel, which is a lot cheaper than retail.

[D]

Lord.

[C]

Formula's working.

[A]

It's working, but it's scary. I mean, I'm sorry to sound like a little B, but, you know, it just gets to a point where this.

[D]

Time next week, though, you'll be going, hey, we're great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or Bretton. San Angelo, 15Z71, 68, 000 mile, four wheel drive, crew cab, navigation, no sunroof. Is it leather or cloth? San Antonio, not San Angelo leather. Okay. What color is it?

[F]

Black.

[A]

Sounds like. Sounds like. Sounds like a $24,000 rig to me, but I'd like to look it up. Have you. Have you been to givemetheven.com yet?

[F]

No, I haven't.

[A]

Go put it in there.

[F]

About what I'm looking for somewhere right in there.

[A]

Pay it off, go to give me the vin.com, load it up. And I'll bet you that the number that the computers gonna spit outs can be right about there. It might be a little higher, it might be a touch lower, but I bet I hit it within $500 right off the top of my head. Thank you, man. Thank you. Let's go. Why not buy More since we only have a thousand in stock right now? JD I'm looking at this deal. We got a thousand cars in stock, 980.

[D]

You can move some of them maybe next week.

[A]

Yeah, but you gotta pay for this.

[D]

That's true. I know.

[A]

Gets a little expensive.

[D]

Just growing pains. I know. It's easy for me to sit here and say that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, now y' all got me. Oh, stop.

[D]

Stop.

[A]

Now I'm on crap right at the end of the show, somebody turn the computer off. Make it quit buying cars. No, I'm kidding.

[D]

Now's the perfect time to sell your [e-mail].

[A]

Now, here's the deal. I mean, it's. We'll get the car sold. It's a matter of we make money or lose.

[D]

Sure, I understand.

[A]

So, I mean, you give 20,000. Are you going to get your money back? Yes, but are you going to get 192 back? Are you going to get 20,008 back? You don't know. You don't know some of them. You might get 18 five backs. I mean. Well, it's an average performing it. But I can tell you the truth. The average has kind of sucked lately.

[E]

Really?

[A]

But I'm hoping that the spring market, the federal shutdown, as stupid as it sounds, sounds kind of bothers me because people hear tax returns without a good year. Tax return money is going to be high this year. Federal shutdown, they're still going to get their money. But the subconscious makes people go sometimes.

[D]

Like the stock market.

[A]

Right now I'm a little pissed at Trump and Mexicans for the wall and the border and the federal shutdown because it's going to screw up my auction.

[D]

You guys stop coming to America.

[A]

I got to go to work. Got to go buy some cars. Be back next Saturday. Thanks.

[D]

You have a great week.

[A]

There's nothing left to do tonight. Locker out.