The John Clay Wolfe Show #192 – March 30, 2019

Podcast Summary

Episode Theme & Structure

This episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show sticks true to its reputation as an “unfiltered, free-wheeling, and rowdy Saturday morning hangout.” The main cast—John Clay Wolfe, J.D. Ryan, Michael Turley, Bobby Brown, and DJ Pre K—mixes call-in car appraisals, wild topical riffs, guest impersonations, awkward moments, and biting humor. The show also features recurring prank “callers” and voice segments, with star appearances (real or spoofed) by "Rush Limbaugh," "Eddie Vedder," and "Keith Richards."

The episode balances car deals, music and pop culture, mock celebrity interviews and rants, and listener interactions, all done in a raucous, quick-fire style filled with rapid banter and signature running bits.

Key Segments, Topics, and Highlights

1. "Rush Limbaugh" Guest Host and Political Satire

Timestamps: 00:00–10:13

• The show opens with a spoof ad for "Five Hour Meth," channeling Rush Limbaugh.
• Rush “guest hosts” and banters with J.D. Ryan and John Clay Wolfe about Florida, politics, and 80s/90s rock, riffing on energy, medication, Ativan, Prince, and Motorhead.
• Conversation flows into a sarcastic debate on "Space Force," Newt Gingrich’s moon base proposal, and the potential for a "massage parlor on the moon," leading to gags about diversity hiring and law enforcement (07:24).
• Standout Quote:

  "Well, in Prince’s third album, I wouldn’t say high, I’d say accentuated, probably... The truly difficult things in this business can take five or ten minutes. The impossible might take fifteen." (05:36 – Rush Limbaugh)

2. Wild Listener Calls and Running Gags

Timestamps: 10:14–55:03, recurring throughout

• Alan Greenberg, a recurring eccentric caller, persistently tries to become “famous” by monopolizing the phone lines with odd requests and stories, amusing and frustrating hosts alike.
• Hilarious back-and-forths include John trying to steer Alan to the point, culminating in a discussion of Alan’s true age (135:51).
• Segment: "What Were They On?"—a recurring bit where DJ Pre K narrates a Florida crime and the team guesses what drug the perp was using.
• Honest car appraisals, with John’s comedic attempts to talk sellers down (e.g., “run it into a river and shoot it with a shotgun”).
• Standout Quote:

  "What do you need people for? Laughing."
  – Alan Greenberg (137:34)

3. Auction Chaos, Car Talk, and John’s Appraisal Style

Timestamps: Throughout, esp. 43:28–56:32 and 110:39–114:07

• John appraises all manner of cars from classic British convertibles to 200k-mile trucks and high-mileage mom-mobiles, often humorously comparing depreciation to dating life ("Classic cars are just so damn difficult... it’s worth half what you think").
• Insights into car auction hustle culture, including a jaw-dropping story about auctioning a car with a dead driver in the seat (77:14).
• Candid take on hail damage:

  “You can go to givemetheven.com, we’ll buy it beat up. Don’t jack with them. Those really hard-hit hail cars will never be the same.” (80:24 – John Clay Wolfe)

• John’s self-deprecating recounting of his spinal injury and recovery (44:47–46:13).

4. Music and Celebrity Spoof Segments

Timestamps: 12:22–16:29, 36:07+, 94:03+, 96:11+, 106:01–108:15

• The crew plays with music references, debating 80s/90s hard rock authenticity (Motley Crue as “Kiss wannabes”; Van Hagar).
• Impersonator “Eddie Vedder” delivers surreal, darkly comic answers about grunge era suicides and singing style (13:01, 118:44).
• Spoof interview with “Keith Richards” on Stones’ tour postponement and guitar techniques (105:23–108:15).
• Breakdown of the Netflix Motley Crue biopic "The Dirt" and why Vince Neil has become unlistenable.
• Standout Quote:

  “Well, you can play, but the panties come right off the girls—once those panties come off, you can’t… Well, you can put them back, but they won’t be the same…”
  – “Keith Richards” (108:07–108:15)

5. Office Antics, Radio Wars, and Food Fights

Timestamps: 65:01–66:12, 117:25–118:13

• Team debates installing a griddle vs. a snack box; reminisces about "feeding" coworkers breakfast burritos.
• Baseball opening day and radio industry inside-jokes, like the infamous “radio rep” breakfast burrito throw (117:25).

6. Internal Meta-Jokes and Listener Flare-Ups

Timestamps: 17:09–18:18, 36:40–37:38

• A listener calls to complain about jokes regarding suicide; the crew addresses, then shrugs it off (“If I think something’s funny, it’s my goddamn show and I do what I want.”).
• Alan Greenberg’s calls take on an Andy Kaufman-esque character, with the hosts vacillating from indulgence to exhaustion before finally hanging up (139:05–139:26).

7. Miscellaneous Mayhem

• DJ Pre K promotes his rap album and recounts his new track, exchanging jokes with J.D. Ryan and the crew (19:01–20:44).
• Banter about donut shop owners, Asian stereotypes, and Lexus ownership.
• “Cluck Norris,” a fighting chicken persona from Oklahoma, phones in for a sequence of auction-related absurdities (71:38).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• John as host:

  “This is the show that’s named after me because I’m a vain prick. Or as my ex-wife likes to call me, a narcissist.” (37:27)

• Rush’s take on business:

  “The truly difficult things in this business can take, you know, five or ten minutes. The impossible might take 15.” (05:36)

• On Car Values:

  “These big-ass mild diesel trucks have been bringing too much for too long... Everyone in Oklahoma, please listen to what I’m saying—your 200,000-mile diesel truck is not worth what you think it’s worth anymore.” (48:43–50:04)

• On Alan Greenberg:

  "He sounds like a Jerky Boy. He will not get to the point of what he needs." (35:14)

• Eddie Vedder Impersonation:

  “I’m gonna live forever. My grave is empty, cause I’m not dead.” (13:08)

• Radio Industry Snark:

  "If you borrow money, you don’t respect it." (91:03)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–10:13 | Rush Limbaugh opening, politics, Ativan, rock talk | | 11:00–25:00 | Listener calls, “What Were They On” segment, Alan Greenberg | | 36:07 | Alan’s running gags (trying to make John famous) | | 46:13–50:00 | John’s back injury story | | 56:00–62:00 | Classic cars, West Texas swingers, more car appraisal calls | | 71:38 | Cluck Norris, auction banter with Oklahoma “fighting” chicken | | 77:14 | “Dead auction driver” story | | 94:03 | Shannon vs. DJ Pre K on dating and identity (humorously) | | 96:11 | Motley Crue “The Dirt” biopic discussed; Vince Neil’s decline | | 105:23–108:15 | Keith Richards impersonation; guitar lessons, touring | | 117:25 | Baseball tickets; radio rep breakfast burrito story | | 118:44 | Eddie Vedder impersonator singing “burrito” | | 135:51 | Alan finally reveals “age” and gets cut off | | 166:25 | Dennis Quaid segment (calling his guitarist on-air, publicist drama)|

Tone & Language

The tone is brash, irreverent, self-aware, and unapologetically unfiltered. Profanity (self-censored), double entendre, and taboo jokes are part of the show DNA. The hosts riff off each other with camaraderie, mockery, and inside radio jabs. Callers—both earnest and “characters”—are engaged (and sometimes roasted) in good fun, with rare forays into genuine advice or candor.

For First-Time Listeners

• Expect unpredictable, stream-of-consciousness talk with sharp transitions from car deals to wild topical gags.
• Don’t take anything too seriously (even the “celebrity” interviews).
• The show’s mix of authentic listener calls with running inside jokes creates a unique morning radio energy.
• If you’re a car person, stay for the surprisingly frank dealership and industry insights between jokes.
• If you’re easily offended… this might not be your show.

For fans:

This episode has all the hallmarks of John Clay Wolfe’s best: celebrity satirical spoofs, edgy humor, Alan Greenberg’s meta-comedic calls, outrageous stories from the auction business, and a car trade lightning round that’s equal parts expertise and roast.