The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #20 (Hour 1) – 03/05/16

Air Date: February 11, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Cast: John Clay Wolfe, Bobbo, Turley, Bob, Roy
Theme: Cars, sports, sex, drugs, and rock & roll—with a focus on car sales, drug test “hacks,” sports news, and irreverent takes on news and pop culture.

Episode Overview

The first hour of The John Clay Wolfe Show dives headfirst into its signature blend of car talk, sports news, and wild, often hilarious life advice. This hour centers on two recurring threads: irreverent, practical (and some, arguably illegal or unwise) advice on passing drug tests—especially targeting Dallas Cowboys player Randy Gregory—and the ongoing trade-in appraisal calls that form the backbone of the “GiveMeTheVIN.com” car selling brand. Alongside, the show offers rapid-fire takes on current sports, notorious news (OJ Simpson's knife), and 2016 presidential politics, liberally mixed with banter, music nostalgia, and southern humor.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter & Rock Talk (00:29–02:17)

• The crew exchanges greetings and jokes about the music playing before the show.
• Bobbo sings “I’m on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell,” leading to Dio impressions and a recurring bit about previous YouTube infamy.
• Quote: “It's not back to. We're just here for the first time, I guess back to. Since last Saturday.” – John Clay Wolfe (00:38)

2. Cowboys, Randy Gregory, and Drug Test Advice (02:17–13:01)

The Setup

• Sports news: Dallas Cowboys defensive end Randy Gregory is facing suspension for failing another drug test (marijuana).
• Bobbo is nominated to give tried-and-true street advice on passing weed tests.

Bobbo’s “Sure Gel” Drug Test method

• Recipe & Process (03:14–06:14):
  • Buy Sure Gel (powdered gelatin for jelly-making, found in the grocery gelatin aisle).
  • On the morning of the test: mix one packet in 20 oz. of very warm water. Chug it. Wait 90 minutes. Only drink water (no caffeine or juice). After 90 minutes, pee for the test.
  • “You’re turning your bladder into a bowl full of jelly.” – Bobbo (05:34)
  • “Submit a sample of that, and what you've got, little jellybean, is a test tube full of the pure as a driven snow whitest liquid that's ever going to come out of your body. Clean. Clean and wholesome.” – Bobbo (05:55)
• Results: “It's never failed to work” – Bobbo claims a 14:0 success record (06:49), with caveats: only for marijuana, not hard drugs.

Call-In Q&A

• Synthetic urine: A caller (Carl) swears by synthetic urine, warming it in the microwave, and sneaking it to tests (09:33–10:32), but Bobbo and Turley poke fun at the absurdity and risk.
  • “At that point, you’re not doing it for recreation anymore, okay? You got a problem, man.” – Bobbo (10:16)
• Listener Confirmation: Diane from North Carolina: “Sure Gel works every time. My ex husband used it relentlessly. Still smokes pot to this day.” (18:13)

3. “Dear Bobbo” – New Segment (08:17–09:15)

• The team jokes about Bobbo launching an advice column for drug users: “Dear Bobbo.”
• Memorable bit: “Dear Bobbo. Good God. My dad's sitting down in buoy saying look what they made my boy do.” – Bobbo (08:25)
• Comic scenario: “Every time I hear Bobbo, I get so excited I have to smoke a bunch of cocaine. But I have a job interview at Bucks Cabaret. What can I do?” (08:59)

4. Car Appraisal/Buy Calls (14:32–55:57)

Rapid Fire Car Buying, Jokes, and Storytelling

• VW Passat appraisal (14:32–16:13): Caller agrees to John’s offer, told to upload photos to GiveMeTheVIN.com for final bid.
• Ford Raptor negotiation (19:17–22:05): Caller almost sells to Carmax but is promised $500 more by John.
• General car-buying process: John reiterates the “I’ll buy your car, sight unseen” policy, offers quick on-air appraisals, and shares trade-in tips.

Inside Dealer Jokes

• On rapid car buying: “I bought over 100 cars this week. Jeez.” – John (22:40)
• Car market trends: “[Car] market's up. It's like stock exchange or oil prices.” – John (22:26)
• Appraising methods: “I could just feel it, man. I know what I'm doing, man. I've been doing it awhile.” (23:21)

Funniest Car-Related Bits

• Prosthetic Leg Story: John tells a story of having a prosthetic leg in the studio—signed by celebrities—stemming from a personal grudge.
  • “I've got it, and it's mine, and it's up there on the... next to those, you know, up there on the counter. And so when all these allegedly. If you look at the signatures on there, we got Cheech and Chong, nothing. Rick Springfield's a big name... Chevy Chase signed it.” (36:05–36:49)
• Classic “Country Cop” Justice Story: John retells an old story of “country justice” involving personal betrayal, a fistfight, and law enforcement siding with him, including driving a white Bronco as a joke (32:14–35:54).

5. Political Riffing: 2016 Primaries & Debate Jokes (13:13–16:32, 60:12–64:59)

• The show mocks the Republican debates, focusing on Trump, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, and the “button.”
  • Quotes:
    • “All the world problems, and we're talking about the size of Donald's business. I just can't believe it.” – Turley (13:13)
    • “You guys sound like a bunch of angry old hedge fund guys.” – John (63:15)
• Discussion of Ben Carson, Trump, and speculation about VP picks.
• On debates: “Saturday Night Live must watch that and go, we can't beat it. We can't write better than that.” – Turley (13:24)
• On grassroots political anger: “I think it's a good old boy club, and Trump doesn't fit. I think that's what it is.” – Turley (62:50)

6. Music Nostalgia & Concerts (17:32–18:36, 29:13–30:05)

• The team runs through the legacy of bands like Temple of the Dog, Soundgarden, and Thin Lizzy.
• Black Sabbath farewell tour (“How are they propping Ozzy back up?”), local concert venues, and 90s rock nostalgia.
• John on Ozzy: “He was a stuttering, doddering old fool on television. He just kind of does the Pope thing, you know, both hands!” (29:47)

7. O.J. Simpson's Knife “News” (30:26–31:56)

• They riff on the bizarre resurfacing of a knife allegedly found on OJ’s former property.
• Bobbo jokes about OJ-related memorabilia being sold on GiveMeTheVIN.com: “This knife, it’s a commodity. 2500 [13 years ago]...Today, looking at 13, nine.” (31:48)

8. “Riding with Uncle Roy” Flight Story (25:45–28:06)

• Roy, a long-time employee, shares his comic first experience flying with John in a small plane.
• “I said, this mother is as up as I am. I said, you know, I think what we need to do, we need to get out of this home, try to land this bitch somewhere. Well, I can go back to Shreveport.” – Roy (27:15)

9. Listener Queries & Miscellaneous Stories (Throughout)

• “Pickle juice for drug test”: A listener asks if it works. The question is brushed off as the show returns to appraisals.
• “Craziest car or country stories” pepper the calls (“Shot his dad in the PP” saga, fake leg stories, etc.; see 54:03–54:50).

Additional Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “There’s safety in the numbers. Clearly, you could smell it. Go around and sniff the seats, everybody.” – John (22:42)
• “I want a car for me. You know how the guy that has a house turns into a queer? What? … I’ve got too much cars in my life. I need to go different directions to be happy with cars.” – John (43:35–44:20)
• “If you want all those gazillion dollars you made last year? Pass a drug test for pot or—Or the other way is not to smoke it. Well, yeah, but that takes years.” – Turley and Bobbo (07:31–07:37)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:29 – Show begins, greetings, music/rock talk
• 02:27 – Cowboys news, setting up drug test segment
• 03:14 – Bobbo’s Sure Gel drug test “recipe”
• 09:33 – Synthetic urine caller, more hacks, Q&A
• 14:32 – Car bidding/appraisal calls begin
• 22:13 – Raptor negotiation wrap-up
• 25:45 – Roy’s “Riding with John” flight story
• 29:13 – Sabbath/Foo Fighters/rock talk
• 30:26 – O.J. knife news satire
• 32:14 – White Bronco personal story
• 36:05 – Prosthetic leg/country justice
• 43:35 – Car buying “for myself” commentaries
• 54:03 – Shooting story, “country” segment
• 60:12 – Ben Carson & 2016 politics
• 68:00 – Trump vs. Howard Stern analogy
• 69:03 – Fuller House Twitter explosion

Tone & Style

The show is irreverent, fast-paced, candid, and comedic. Conversations bounce from real advice to outright satire, blending “down home” southern wit with direct audience interaction. There’s a regular, easy camaraderie among the cast, with plenty of gentle razzing and over-the-top storytelling.

Summary for Non-Listeners

If you missed this hour, you missed a raucous mix of car talk and “life hacks,” featuring a surprisingly detailed guide for athletes and blue-collar workers to allegedly beat weed tests (DON’T try at home!), rapid-fire car appraisals, affectionate mockery of the Cowboys’ latest wayward star, crazy listener calls, and nostalgia-soaked asides about everything from O.J. Simpson’s knife to the mysteries of Ozzy Osbourne’s staying power. Political commentary is as unfiltered as the car stories and mixes in with lessons in southern justice and customer service.

If you want stories about prosthetic legs, airplane rides with nervous passengers, or just a disarmingly honest crew who’ll “buy your car, sight unseen,” this was a classic JCW hour.

Podcast Library: For more episodes, search “The John Clay Wolfe Show+” on PodBean.