The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #216 (09.21.19)

Main Theme:
A wild, unscripted Saturday morning radio ride featuring John Clay Wolfe and his crew broadcasting live from Las Vegas. Mixing irreverent car appraisals, stories of Vegas escapades, rock & roll, adult humor, and banter about sports, weather, and strip clubs—this episode captures the fast-talking, hard-living, anything-goes spirit of the show, “as long as it won’t get us fined by the FCC.”

Table of Contents

1. Las Vegas Broadcast and Crew Antics
2. Car Talk: Buying, Bidding, and Caller Negotiations
3. Vegas Stories: Hangovers, Strip Clubs, and Music Festivals
4. Sports, Weather, and Floods
5. Music & Pop Culture: Heart, Van Halen, and More
6. Comedy, Improv Bits, and Memorable Moments
7. Rosetta Stone Word of the Week: “Thoad”
8. Quotes & Memorable Lines
9. Timestamps: Key Segments

Las Vegas Broadcast and Crew Antics

• John in Vegas, Crew in Texas:
  John Clay Wolfe is in Las Vegas for the iHeartRadio Music Festival and broadcasts remotely, joined by his crew (J.D., Turley, Bobbo, DJ Pre K) back in Texas.

  • “I think I’m still a little tipsy...” (01:25)

• Running Late and Still Hungover:
  The crew jokes about bets on John’s tardiness. He admits to late-night drinking and wild Vegas streets—“78 miles an hour down Flamingo Drive.”

  • “Everybody lost, even the listeners. There it is. Oh, that’s funny. Well, I think I’m still a little tipsy.” (01:25)

• Mystery Location, Vegas Clues:
  John drops hints about his Vegas location, referencing streets and encounters with “hot Mexican gal in the hotel lobby...prom dress on backwards” (02:33).

Car Talk: Buying, Bidding, and Caller Negotiations

• Live Car Valuation Calls:
  Callers phone in to get bids on everything from a lifted F-250 Platinum (10:00), to Camaros, Avalanches, and Range Rovers. John blends car expertise, negotiation, and zingers.

• Recurring Negotiation Pattern:
  Callers often have inflated expectations. John provides real offers, busts balls, and keeps things moving:

  • “I told her, you make too much money. You work in accounting in the oilfield business.” (06:44)
  • “If you and I could make a deal right now, can I buy it? Is the car for sale? Step one. God, yeah.” (11:14)
  • “If you want to sell your car, please go to GiveMeTheVIN.com—we’re the largest wholesaler company in the United States. And if we don’t beat your CarMax offer, we’ll send you a check for $100.” (57:19)

• John’s Approach:
  He’s direct, funny, and unsparing—frequently telling callers their numbers are unrealistic, urging them to “just load it up at GiveMeTheVIN.”

Vegas Stories: Hangovers, Strip Clubs, and Music Festivals

• Wild Vegas Mornings:
  John describes witnessing morning-after chaos at his hotel, meeting bachelorette/party stragglers.

  • “Boobs falling out of dresses, underwear in hand, high heels in hand. Prom dress, like on backwards. It was just, it was beautiful.” (02:47)

• IHeartRadio Festival & Strip Clubs:
  Detailed impressions from the festival: Heart, Backstreet Boys, Tim McGraw (“did not rock my lame ass”), and after-hours strip club culture in Vegas, with guest DJ Fab 5 Freddy.

  • “Green Day kicked it off...then Heart—these bitches insane, dude. I mean, they are rock stars still alive. I love them.” (51:01)
  • Strip clubs as a “whole different experience” in Vegas—a running theme and frequent topic for bawdy jokes.

Sports, Weather, and Floods

• Gulf Coast Floods:
  Discussion of recent Houston/Beaumont flooding, referencing “Operation Airdrop,” storm aftermath, and economic resilience of oilfield workers.

  • “At that point in your life, you might need to look in the broken mirror in your home and ask yourself, do I really want to live here this bad, or should I just move? Two floods in two years. I'd haul ass.” (06:13)

• Sports Betting in Vegas:
  Team jokes about point spreads (Cowboys/Dolphins, Alabama/Southern Miss), and managing sports bets via Vegas office.

  • “Do you want to Venmo me some money and I’ll make a bet for you?” (38:48)

Music & Pop Culture: Heart, Van Halen, and More

• Heart at iHeart Festival:
  In-depth riff on the Wilson sisters (“fat sister could sing like a mother, good looking sister can play the six string like a mother”) (49:25).

  • “Is it fair to say that Ann Wilson is like the Christina Aguilera of her day?” (51:41)

• Van Halen/David Lee Roth:
  Playful mockery of DLR’s egotistical claims (“I wrote every word, every syllable...I designed the backgrounds, the solos, the stripes on the guitar...”).

  • “That wasn’t Eddie’s guitar. That was David Lee Roth, sang the solos...” (25:59)

• Musician Jokes and Auction Stories:
  Includes fake “Behind the Music” sketches, auction block mayhem, and running gags about musicians’ antics.

Comedy, Improv Bits, and Memorable Moments

• Rants & Relationship Stories:
  John tells stories of ex-girlfriends, high-school flames turned strippers, and disastrous relationships.

  • “You realize that she couldn’t keep a house...cat poop lined up all over the corners—they are the best in bed. No question.” (17:17)

• Rosetta Stone “Hood” Language Lesson:
  DJ Pre K runs a “Word of the Week” segment, teaching the crew (and listeners) the meaning of “thoad” (see below).

• Improv & Character Skits:
  Frequent drops of “Satan,” chipmunks, faux mobsters, and swap-shop style gags that break up the car talk and keep the episode manic.

Rosetta Stone Word of the Week: “Thoad”

• Definition: Extremely intoxicated, high, or “out of pocket”—synonyms include slizzard, zooted, blowed, gone.
• Listener Participation: Callers from around the country offer examples; DJ Pre K confirms their street cred.
• “Thoad is, you know, some synonyms include slizzard, gone with the wind, or you own one, man.” (86:34)

Quotes & Memorable Lines

• Cars & Callers:

  • “I’d rather die in a flood.” (07:00)
  • “If I don’t beat your CarMax offer, we pay you $100.” (15:27)

• On Ex-Girlfriend Turned Stripper:

  • “I went in there to get a steak and actually walked into my ex-girlfriend stripping the other way around. It was good.” (16:23)

• On Strip Clubs:

  • “Right now, this morning...are there strip clubs open with people dancing in them? Yes, sir...Hustler, Sapphire, Crazy Horse 3, Cheetahs.” (88:43)

• On Hangovers:

  • “I was talking to someone the other day. He said he was so hungover, he would have taken heroin, morphine, whatever, just to get where he could breathe full breaths again.” (112:18)

• On Birthday Gifting:

  • “She said she wanted a purse for her birthday, so I said, send me three purses that you’d like, and then she went and bought herself one.” (123:02)

Timestamps: Key Segments

• Vegas Stories & Strip Club Banter: (01:25) – (03:40), (87:00) – (89:10)
• Car Negotiations & Callers: Blue’s F250 (09:23), Range Rover in Nashville (60:07), Avalanche debate (27:28)
• iHeart Music Festival Recap: (48:31) – (56:56)
• Floods in Houston & Operation Airdrop: (05:51) – (06:59)
• Van Halen/David Lee Roth Audio: (24:36) – (26:53)
• Rosetta Stone Word of the Week (“thoad”): (83:33) – (86:34)
• Auction House Mayhem: (63:25) – (67:29)
• Comedy/Skits (Pokey Stein, chipmunks, Satan): (69:10), (130:01), throughout
• Relationship Talk, Crew Banter: (136:16) – (141:07)

Summary

This episode is a hallmark of the John Clay Wolfe Show’s blend of wild radio variety, melting car business with outrageous life stories, stoner comedy, Vegas adventures, and pop culture riffs. John, still partying in Vegas, delivers razor wit and relentless honesty—appraising cars with as much irreverence as he does strip clubs or sports spreads, while the crew keeps the mayhem rolling back home. Classically unfiltered, “#216” drifts from morning-after hotel lobbies to high-stakes sports betting to the speak-slang segment, never missing a beat, and always, unapologetically, “going a little thoad.”