#27 John Clay Wolfe Show 03/19/16 Hour 2

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #27, Hour 2

Date Aired: February 12, 2026
Theme: A wild, freewheeling hour of cars, comedy, life stories, and unfiltered talk about (almost) everything, straight from the heart of Texas.

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Episode Overview

The second hour of this episode keeps the show's signature blend of humor, storytelling, and car talk at full speed. John and the crew blend car-buying calls with raucous bits, improv games, and offbeat discussions about family, teachers, and the weird realities of life and the auto business. There are no sacred cows—just a lot of laughs, some wild stories, and a bit of market wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Radio, Improv, and FCC-Friendly Outrage (00:02–04:21)

• Classic Radio Banter & Mockery:
  The hosts tease each other about their voices and the evolution of their radio personalities, poking fun at industry stereotypes.

  • “You finally dropped your sack and smoked enough cigarettes and dope...” – John to Bobbo (00:30)
  • They discuss how salesmen-turned-managers don't really understand what makes good radio.

• Improv Games - "Guess That Song" (01:44–04:13):
  The team launches into an ad-libbed game, guessing classic rock songs "played" from a prop (Bobbo’s ex-wife's hidden item...) with lots of double entendre and laughter:

  • “You probably get a podcast on that deal.” – Bobbo (01:58)
  • “Another one bites the dust!” – John (03:45)
  • “Winner, winner, chicken dinner… Set of five D batteries.” – Bobbo (03:53)

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2. Family Stories and Lessons (04:24–07:24)

• Dad Wisdom and Roasting:
  John shares stories about his dad’s ruthless humor regarding his brother's girlfriend:

  • “She's so ugly, you had to tie a bone around her neck so the dog would play with it.” (04:42)
  • The table debates the (misguided) metrics of teenage attractiveness, with plenty of ribbing.

• "Don’t Drink and Drive" (07:02–07:09):
  John recalls a night his dad tried to get him to take the rap for a drunken crash—only to end up with a much different life lesson:

  • “No matter how ugly she is, just go ahead and stay the night.” – John’s Dad’s advice (07:07)

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3. Spring Break & Parenting (07:32–08:29)

• Spring Break Plans: The hosts compare their spring break activities—most working or unsure, with John noting business is booming in the spring car market.
  • “That’s why I’m not at spring break with my kids—there’s too much money being made.” – John (07:59)

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4. Viral News & Cultural Commentary (08:44–09:22)

• Weird News:
  Stories about Russian office party fiascos and Joe’s Crab Shack’s controversial decor lead to a discussion on sensitivity and social media’s amplifying effect.

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5. Guns, Hunting, and the Outdoors (09:34–10:55)

• Bobbo’s New Rifle:
  Bobbo discusses buying a Ruger Mini-14 and the ongoing allure of deer hunting:
  • “I’d like to pop a couple of big fat does—for the freezer.” – Bobbo (10:32)
  • John jokes about Bobbo’s “meat-hauling” days, keeping the banter irreverent.

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6. On-Air Car Appraisals & “Deal Talk” (11:11–30:52)

Highlights:

Many real listeners call in to get quick on-air appraisals and sharp buying banter:

• Lincoln Town Car Sale
  John haggles with a caller (J.R.) who's inherited a low-mileage Lincoln from a neighbor, teasing out info and cracking wise about “making money on dead guys.” (11:11–12:53)

  • “Buy dead people cars all the time… Since he’s dead, he oughta be easy to negotiate with!” – John (11:46)

• Negotiation Dynamics:
  John constantly explains the realities of car value versus online estimates, how auction pricing works, and why some vehicles just aren’t worth the hopeful prices (“I need to buy this car from you for $75—that’s my offer.” – John, 16:22).

• From Bentleys to Minivans:
  The spectrum of calls includes a 97 Town & Country, Nissan Rogue, Equinox, and even a 2014 Porsche, showing the wide range of vehicles—and values—considered.

• Ferrari Facts (31:02–35:38): John shares behind-the-scenes details about how exclusive the Ferrari-buying club is—how you have to own a used Ferrari before you can even order a new one.

  • “The factory approves who gets to drive the new... Ferraris that get sold in America a year.” – John (33:33)
  • “The used Ferraris bring more than the new Ferraris.” – John (35:20)

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7. Teachers, Reputations & Social Commentary (25:17–27:28)

• Teacher-Student Scandals and Stereotypes:
  Lively banter about why stories of teacher-student affairs keep popping up, with the guys noting how social media has changed the landscape and attitudes.
  • “What’s with these sixth and seventh grade boys that can’t keep their mouths shut?” – Bobbo (25:23)
• Teachers as Closet Maniacs:
  “I dated a first-grade teacher—straight arrow with the kids, out… Oh my Lord.” – JD (26:45)
• Audience Pushback:
  Acknowledgement that some listeners (especially teachers) might not appreciate the irreverence: “You're gonna get some calls from some teachers that are going to set you straight here, both of you.” – John (27:08)

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8. Crime, Youth, and Old Apartment Stories (27:29–28:44)

• Bizarre Theft Tale:
  Bobbo shares a story of having his apartment robbed while he slept, providing comic relief amid amazement at how oblivious he was to two TVs and a BB gun being taken.

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9. Beer, Water, and Wild Internships (53:07–56:12)

• Dream Job: Beer Intern:
  Casey brings up a Florida-based beer chain’s offer to pay three interns $12,000 to drink beer across the country for four months.
  • “Apply for a beer-soaked internship… you just visit breweries, post about your adventures.” – Casey (54:02)
• IPA Debates:
  The crew debates beer preferences (Miller Lite vs. fancy IPAs):
  • “I want to drink beer for an hour and not get drunk.” – John (55:29)
• Water Contamination:
  J.D. reports on alarming water tests near Puget Sound: “High levels of Prozac, bug spray, cocaine, xanax, ibuprofen, and 77 other drugs…” (57:11)

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10. Sports, Contracts, and News (43:53–58:58)

• Hulk Hogan's Legal Victory:
  J.D. covers the $115 million Gawker verdict.
• Rob Ford's Decline:
  Chatter about the late Toronto Mayor, with jokes and Canadian slang.
  • “They thought it was a black racial slur... proud to be a coon ass.” – John (46:55)
• Baseball and Marijuana:
  Discussion on rumors that the Colorado Rockies might sell marijuana edibles at games. (48:00)
• Player Contracts & Risks:
  Side notes on athletes jeopardizing contracts by risky behavior (motorcycle crashes, bringing kids to the locker room).

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11. The Ever-Present Car Market Wisdom (Throughout)

• John continually reminds listeners they can call in and receive a fast, fair quote via GiveMeTheVIN.com, and he’ll buy cars across the value spectrum—from “junk” to Ferraris and beyond.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Every time I look at Facebook and see my brother’s ex-girlfriend, I think: Is this nice of my dad?” – John (04:24)
• “No matter how ugly she is, just go ahead and stay the night.” – John's Dad (07:02)
• “I ride deep, dog. Who you talking to, man?” – John on making big car deals (31:20)
• “The used Ferraris bring more than the new Ferraris.” – John (35:20)
• “Keeping it classy, Bobbo. Keeping it classy.” – John to Bobbo about Natural Light (56:49)
• “They wouldn’t believe it’s not a slur—it’s a badge of pride!” – John on “coon ass” (47:00)
• “Samples taken from the water show high levels of Prozac, bug spray, cocaine, Xanax, ibuprofen, and 77 other drugs... you might be getting high.” – JD (57:11)
• “We know our car business; we don’t know anything else and we say stupid things on the radio—but we do know our car business.” – John (30:41)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• 00:30 – Radio voice “advice” and station banter
• 01:44 – Improv: Guess That Song, Bobbo’s ex-wife’s prop
• 04:42 – Family humor & “ugly girlfriend” story
• 07:02 – John’s dad’s “stay the night” lesson
• 12:04 – Buying dead people’s cars, car appraisal
• 16:22 – Real-world car auction pricing explained
• 25:17–27:28 – Teachers and reputation, social commentary
• 31:02 – Ferrari buying market explanation
• 35:20 – Used Ferraris worth more than new
• 53:07 – Beer internship job, beer talk
• 57:11 – Drugs found in Puget Sound water
• 43:53, 58:00 – Sports, Hulk Hogan verdict, marijuana concessions

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Tone & Style

Wild, irreverent, and spontaneous—filled with Texas-flavored humor, competitive car dealing, nostalgia, and social commentary, punctuated by deadpan delivery and friendly jabs. The conversation jumps nimbly from car deals to life lessons, never quite serious and always ready for a laugh.

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Summary prepared for listeners who want the best highlights and stories, without all the FCC-unfriendly bits, commercials, and musical interludes.

Transcript

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1-800-800-RODE. This is the John Clay Wolf show. And we're back. Bobbo, do you want to give them the big FMDJ intro Saturday morning? Wake up.

[B]

Live from the Wolf Radio studios located deep in the heart of Texas, this is the John Clay Wolf show powered by GimmeTheEven.com.

[A]

You know that guy, that Cumulus guy listen to you said that you finally dropped your sack and smoked enough cigarettes and dope that you got your voice just right.

[B]

Yeah, he always said that, man.

[A]

He made fun of you.

[B]

Yeah. Salesman. Here's, here's what happens.

[A]

I don't need it.

[B]

Salesmen can get really big and they can get big to the point of general managers. Okay? To the point that they think they understand programming, but they don't know we do. J.D. do they? Do they know what we do?

[C]

They don't.

[A]

What do we do?

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

You buy cars on the radio. Well, that's. There's a lot of talk.

[A]

We buy cars online. If you go to givemethevend.com Put your car in or just call in the show right now. This is our last segment on the Eagle for Now this week. 8008-0072-3480-0800-7234. 800-800-Radio is the call in number. You can call in, give me year, make, model, miles. I'll buy your car right now. What?

[D]

Don't forget about the podcast John Clay Wolf Show. Just go on itunes and, or any device that you have and you can tune us in.

[A]

What about that device that Bobbo had in the, in his ex wife's coat? Was it, is the podcast on that?

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Possibly. Take years of study.

[A]

It looked like it could be utilized as an antenna.

[B]

It sounds just like Bob.

[A]

We're sitting here on the air three years ago and Bobbo has on a coat.

[B]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

And he pulled it out of the closet that he hadn't worn it in years and then he whips out a great big dildo.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

And he said, damn, I forgot about that.

[B]

You probably get a podcast on that deal.

[A]

We still have it in the box over there.

[B]

That's where my ex old lady used to hide. It was in my old trench coat in the closet. So the kids didn't pick it up.

[A]

Well, now the kids know you probably.

[B]

Get a podcast on it. Sound just like.

[C]

Hum me funny on every level.

[A]

Hummy, hummy. We can play. We can play. What song is that from? Bobo's wife. Stillo give us a few bars. And first person to guess it. When's Bobo's wife still do.

[C]

How about we stop saying the D word?

[A]

Okay?

[C]

We. Stop that noise.

[A]

Shut up. I'm trying to guess the song.

[B]

Hang on. Stop, stop, stop.

[A]

Turley turn down guns and rose in the background I want.

[B]

Oh, thunderstruck AC dc Let's have a drink on me.

[A]

Do another one then.

[B]

Same thing.

[A]

Do another one. It's not the same thing. Damn it. All night long. Laying it on the line no, it's lay it, lay it.

[B]

It's Cabo, Cabo Wabo. Let me take you down.

[D]

JD Is so out right now, I'm.

[C]

Not even paying attention.

[A]

One more time. We're trying to guess the song. Read an email that Babo's wife's dildo is playing from from itunes, where you can find the podcast of the John.

[B]

I got a good one.

[C]

Ready?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Another one bites the dust. Yeah, that's it. All right.

[B]

Winner, winner, winner, chicken dinner. You know what? You won. You know what you want.

[A]

I'm scared to ask.

[B]

Set of five D batteries.

[C]

I'm just glad. Over.

[A]

800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Well, they're doing the NC Double D tournament here on the Eagle. And maybe we should throw that in there in the prize pack.

[C]

Hell, yes.

[D]

The greatest game show ever played on radio just happened. J.D. how are you not a part of that?

[C]

I missed it. I'm sorry. I was reading something.

[B]

Let me just slide in a little programming. That total bit was all improvised. Okay. No planning going on, folks.

[D]

That's what happens when you smoke a lot of dope.

[A]

Every time I look at. Speaking of making fun, I, for some reason, Facebook. Poor girl. Every time I see this girl on Facebook, it's a. My brother's ex girlfriend. Oh, yeah. And I just looked over and see it, and I think, is this nice of my dad? So my brother's in middle school, he's got a girlfriend, maybe high school.

[B]

This is way back in the day.

[A]

Yeah. And he's just banging on my brother about how ugly his girlfriend is. She's so ugly, you had to tie a bone around her neck so the dog would play with it. I'll never forget him saying that. I'm like, damn, that was my dad talking to his son about his girlfriend. Oh, wow.

[B]

Was she.

[A]

Your girlfriend is so ugly that you had to put a. She has to put a dog a bone around her neck so her dog will play.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

The only two people that love that girl are you and her dog. And the only way that a dog loves you see, that's how it went. And I was thinking, man, that's cold.

[B]

Was she homely?

[C]

Not that it matters.

[B]

I mean, that's wrong, anyway.

[A]

But she was. She probably had. I think she had some guns on her in 8th, 9th, 10th grade, whatever year. I mean, that. That. That the. The algorithm to attractiveness at that age weights heavily on chest.

[B]

Yeah. Cans.

[A]

Cans.

[B]

You bet.

[D]

So your dad was just trying to make a point. Don't date ugly women, because this is what will happen.

[B]

Well, that's. That's massage.

[A]

I'll tell you another point. My dad made sure he calls me boy. Boy, you know, it's 2:00am sure. Hello. You been drinking? No, sir. I mean, you know, typical standard answer.

[C]

Yes, sir.

[A]

All right, good. Come down here. I need your help. Okay. So I pull, and we've been drinking. Sullivan's are wasted. We've been out all night. So I drive down the street. We live in the country. About a mile down the road in my dad's 96 Fleetwood Broham with skirts balancing in the middle of the street, perfectly on his side.

[C]

On his side.

[A]

Wow. Perfectly.

[C]

How'd that happen?

[A]

He fell asleep, hit the ditch, hit the culvert, flip up, boom. On the side. His gun flies out, everything's broken. And he knows the cops are coming, you know, when somebody. Somebody's gonna call the cops, and he want me to take the heat.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're drunk.

[A]

Because he's drunk, and he doesn't want to get dwi, so he wants me to take it. And that's when I start confessing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Hey, man, you know what? I said I hadn't been drinking. I lied.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dad can't help you on this one, dog. No, you're fine. You're fine. No, I'm not fine. Anyway, we pulled it over and we got it towed. And no cops came. Boys, me and my buddy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Y' all learn anything this evening? Yes, sir. What'd you learn, boy? Don't drink and drive. No, that ain't it.

[C]

I mean it.

[A]

No matter how ugly she is, just go ahead and stay the night. I swear to God. This is awesome.

[C]

That is the story of the tree and the apple.

[A]

8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234.

[D]

Oh, that's awesome.

[B]

And you know what I learned from that?

[A]

What?

[B]

Don't answer the phone after 10 or before 8am There you go.

[C]

There's the big story.

[B]

The news ain't good.

[C]

Why would you ever answer the phone at 2 in the morning.

[A]

Come on down.

[C]

My car's balanced.

[A]

You've been drinking. That means balancing in the middle of the road. 8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234. Call in now. I'll buy cars. Cheap cars, expensive cars. Trucks. Diesel trucks. Escalades. What you got? The damn market's high. It's red hot right now. This car market's red hot. Sure it is. It's kicking. This is. This is my time of the year to do well, because the market.

[C]

Spring.

[A]

Yes. And that's why I'm not a spring break with my kids.

[B]

Because there's.

[A]

There's too much money being made. It's true.

[C]

Really? Well, where are the kids?

[A]

They're sitting home waiting on me to tell them what we're going to do this weekend for spring break.

[C]

Gotcha.

[A]

I got no plan either. I took them up to Nocona last weekend.

[C]

That's a cool place.

[A]

Yeah, but I've got no plan. Charlie, what'd you do for spring break with your kids? Worked. Yeah?

[D]

Wife took them to Dinosaur Valley for.

[A]

A day or so, you know, out in Glen Rose.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And then to Main Event, you know, she did a couple things because she took a couple days, but I was working.

[A]

Yeah. What'd you do with your kids, J.D.

[C]

I called him and said, how you doing?

[A]

They're 3080-080072-34800, 800, Raider. Did you see the deal on the web about the Russian office party that wound up with a lynching?

[C]

What?

[A]

Did you not see it? No.

[C]

What?

[A]

It wasn't a real lynching, but it was. It was like, Dressed Like Americans Day. You need to look that up. We'll talk about it later.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's pretty weird. Pretty out there. And somebody took a picture and obviously put it on their social media, and the world went crazy. She deleted her Facebook account or Twitter account. She's trying to hide from it, but it's. When you Google it up, you'll be like, wow.

[C]

Speaking of that. Along those lines, you. Joe's Crab Shack, they have little pictures up on the wall. And recently, somebody looked at one of those pictures and it was the actual picture of a lynching lynch mob in Joe's Crab Shack. And the Joe's Crab Shack people said, yeah, we knew that, but we thought it was a, you know, historical thing to put on the wal.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

And so, after 30 years in business, finally a black person walks into Joe's Crab Shack and they're all offended that's.

[C]

Why we have Baba.

[A]

Hey, you said you got a new gun.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

What'd you get?

[B]

I bought a Ruger mini 14.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

223? It's a deer rifle. Basically it's a semi automatic carbine, 223 caliber.

[A]

What are you gonna do with it?

[B]

Gonna probably hunt with it.

[A]

Hunt what?

[B]

Deer.

[A]

You're a deer hunter now?

[B]

I've always been a deer.

[A]

I couldn't imagine now. Let's not have a hunter with you. I like hunting snipe with my kids.

[B]

I haven't hunted since I was probably 14 because I don't feel like getting up at 4 in the morning and climbing a tree.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Can I ask why you guys do that? Deers come out all day. You see me.

[A]

No, they don't.

[B]

Yeah, not like they do in the morning.

[A]

The good bucks, they're, they're, they're smart. They know they're gonna get shot, they're out chasing tail. It's the same thing everybody else is doing.

[B]

They're the first that move to the water right before the sun comes. The big ones. So you have to be there early.

[A]

All right, all right, all right, all right. So you got a gun, you're going deer hunting. And when are you going to go deer hunting?

[B]

In the fall.

[A]

What are you hunting for?

[B]

What am I hunting for, buck or meat? Meat.

[A]

Trophies or meat?

[B]

I'd like to pop a couple of big fat does.

[A]

For years you've been doing that. You've been hunting meat without the gun. Big fat does. And I didn't know if you were going to clean up and try to go for a trophy.

[B]

I got all of that because I've.

[A]

Seen some of the stuff he's drug in. I understand. Meat hauler.

[B]

I, I think it's obvious. We're not, we're not a trophy bunch.

[A]

No.

[B]

You know, my dad's never put a head on the wall. We don't, we don't hunt for that. It's just for, for the freezer.

[D]

No, Bob was just going out cuz he wants to go smoke dope in the woods. That's what a lot of guys do when they're going. That's just their skate.

[B]

You can't. Because the deer will smell you. Man. You can't do that.

[A]

You got to cover yourself in deer urine. Hang on, Junior. Good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Good morning. I have a 2005 Lincoln Town Car. It's the signature edition. It's got about 26,000 miles on it. It's in very good condition, J.R. you.

[A]

Sound like you're 30 years old. Is that about right?

[E]

That's pretty good. Okay, so 20 years to it.

[A]

Oh, really? You sound young. Because it's like, how the hell do you have an old town car? Who died and left you this car with 20,000 miles?

[E]

My next door neighbor.

[A]

Okay. Did you already buy it?

[E]

No.

[A]

Give him five grand and sell it to me for 65.

[E]

Okay. All right, well, he's dead, so we.

[A]

Buy dead people cars all the time. We know all about airship papers and all that stuff. I'll give 6,500 for it if you get it. Okay. Since he's dead, he ought to be easy to negotiate with. Go say, hey, I'll give you two. Okay, I'll give you three, you chintzy bastard. And then give him 35 and just leave the check and take the car and bring us the title, and then we'll give you 65.

[E]

So let me ask you. He was a smoker, so I got the car detailed and not all of the smoke came out. Is that an issue?

[A]

We're gonna have to back it up a little bit for that. Yes. It depends. But I have a deionizer deal that I can make it work. What do you have to pay for the car?

[E]

I haven't paid anything for it. I just want to find.

[A]

The question is, what do you have to pay for the car?

[E]

I don't know. I'm trying to establish a value for it. So when I sell it, I will.

[A]

Be able to sell it to me, or I'm not. I'm not your free coach. I'm not your life coach. I'm your partner on this deal. You and I become partners when you dial that number. You and I got in business together. So now you need to go to givemetheven.com, put the VIN number in, put the deal set. Talk to Wolf on the on this. Have him call me when I get off there. We'll call. We'll get this car, but make some money off this dead guy.

[E]

No, I don't want to do that. I just want to find out the fair market value, though. But thank you so much.

[A]

He's lying. He doesn't want to admit what he's doing. He's a strokey stroke sitting here trying to give the right money, and he's trying to beat flaky stroke man.

[B]

Stroke man.

[A]

So if I give him 7,500 now, he's gonna change his tune? Yeah, he wants to sell it, but he doesn't Want to sell it to me?

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

You know, he knows the difference between a bitch and a whore is.

[C]

Yes, we do. But tell us. A bitch. Well, yes.

[A]

No. A ho sleeps with everybody. A bee sleeps with everybody but you. And that is you, J.R. you are a bee. And you can keep your town card because I don't want it anymore. 800-800-7 2, 3, 4. My name is John Clay Wolf, our podcaster. On itunes, we are clicking off the Eagle. We're going to Houston for two more hours. You can go to whatever.

[D]

Let's go to the website.

[A]

Go to our website, givemetheven.com. click radio. Click. Listen live and you can stream us. Be back next Saturday right here. Houston. Stay tuned. In Louisiana. We'll be right back.

[C]

See you. By.

[A]

Now, back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show. Chris, you've got an old town and country van with a million miles on it. What do you want for it? Chris, you there? 97 Town and Country. Chris? Oh, I need to bring him up. Why don't I pick him up? Maybe that'll help. Chris, I'm sorry. You there?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Okay. What you want for your van, Holmes?

[E]

I was looking to get maybe 1500.

[A]

I can't sell them. I don't. I. I'd have. No. If I gave you 500 for it, I think I'd lose 100. I'd lose after shipping and sale fee because I can just sell it to the Mexicans at the auction. The Mexican dealers, once they get that many miles on them, there's not a. The note. Dealers don't want them because the transmissions don't last in that model. So.

[E]

Had the engine and the transmission rebuilt.

[A]

That's cool. Bad investment, but that's cool. I mean, I'm glad. It just. I wish I would have caught you earlier, tell you not to do that because they just don't bring anything. Let me pull it up. 97 Chrysler Town Country. Is it leather? LXI. LX, what have you got?

[E]

LXI.

[A]

Okay. These things were worth so much money back in the day, Turley. I remember I used to love these things.

[B]

Expensive.

[A]

So now let's look. I'm going to read off a thing called MMR Manheim Market report. And this shows transactions around the country on this car recently. 168,000 miles in Central Florida did 700. Hey. 139,000 miles in Baltimore, Washington did 500. That was good. Miles. 124,000 miles in Central Florida did 900, 254,000 miles. In Milwaukee did 175. So here's the problem is I buy this car from you for 500 bucks and I ship it and I've got nowhere to go with it. So I sell it in an auction for 500 and then I lose my shipping and I lose my auction fee. So I literally need to buy this car from you for $75. That's my offer. No, I hear you give it to somebody. Hey, don't write off the car. Don't write off the kid. Write off the car. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. Going from a $125,000 G Wagon yesterday to a 97 Town Country for $75. We have covered the entire spectrum here we have Casey.

[C]

Good morning, John. Good morning, Michael and Bobbo. How are you?

[B]

What do you say? Cold.

[C]

Casey, old boy, you smell like baloney. How you doing? Good morning.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

This is the top 10 reasons for missing work after St. Patrick's Day. A lot of people now are going to be calling in sick on Monday. Some will be playing, of course, the big, the big basketball tournament thing. But a lot of them will be hungover. So here's the thing. I got a question for you.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you hear Bobbo singing podcast tunes from his ex wife's dildo earlier?

[C]

No. I believe Casey missed it. He was in the other room.

[A]

It was unbelievable.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was it good? Should we hear it again?

[A]

We should. Okay.

[C]

Should we do it after the top 10?

[A]

We should.

[C]

Here comes the top 10.

[D]

Excuse.

[A]

Do you want. Should we do the top 10 off of Bobbo's ex wife dildo and see if we can guess what it's saying. We'll give an example.

[D]

Oh, so Casey Kayson does the top 10 songs played on Bobbo's wife dildo.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Casey's not ready for this.

[B]

I think maybe we should. We should aim for the term soft machine.

[A]

Fellas, let's start. Number 10.

[C]

That is the theme from the summer place.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

See, Casey knows his music, man.

[A]

Go ahead, Casey, take it away.

[C]

Top 10 excuses for missing work after St. Patrick's Day. Number 10. My alternator went out in void. Number 9. You had to be here early in the show to get that one. Number nine. Hey, have you ever had the green poops? Number eight. The luck of the Irish didn't work. That cop that stopped me. Number seven. Green beer is apparently much higher in alcohol content.

[A]

Bobbo.

[C]

Number six. I was really sick of throwing up. Number five, the top 10 reasons why you're going to call in sick after St. Patty's Day. A lot of people celebrating this weekend. Ah, let's see here. Number five, Staying in bed was the only way to keep it from spinning.

[A]

Number four, Vibrator, Bobbo. That's what we should have said. Vibrator.

[C]

Yes. Thank you. Casey loves you. My dog ate my car keys and I had to wait for them to reappear. Number three might have been a leprechaun.

[A]

Until Charlie Brown's teacher. It could be a character in the show. Who else in the leprechaun say yay. Yay.

[C]

A St. Patrick's Day classic. Casey loves this one. Number two. Hey, no one wants to see me naked and painted green. And number one, the number one reason people call in Monday. Sick after St. Patty's Day. Hey, chewing off your arm is not as easy as you would think. There it is. The top 10 reasons why, folks, my.

[B]

Call in woke up under a big green girl.

[C]

Yeah. Sick. You've been there, Bobbo. Have you?

[A]

Yes, sir.

[C]

Keep your feet in the ground. Reaching for the stars.

[A]

Thanks, Casey. Daniel, good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Hey, good morning. How y' all doing?

[A]

Good, good, good. What you got?

[C]

Good.

[E]

We got a 2010 Nissan Rogue SL, black on black, cloth interior with about 50,000 miles on it.

[A]

Huh. What color? Black on black. It's an sl, but it's cloth, right? Yeah, correct.

[E]

It's cloth.

[A]

That's odd. Two wheel drive or all wheel drive?

[E]

Two wheel drive.

[A]

Does it have a sunroof?

[E]

It does not have a sunroof.

[A]

What makes it an sl?

[E]

That's what it says on the back.

[A]

I don't know, somebody might have done the old. Put it L next to the S package on you. We used to do that back in the day. Super. Let's see.

[E]

I don't know. My wife. It's technically my wife's car. She bought it brand new, so I.

[A]

Okay, then. No, I doubt the Nissan dealer bumped to the SL look alike package. I take that back. If you bought it new.

[E]

Yeah, correct.

[A]

But I will. I need to confess something. When we first got in the business, you could take a LS Tahoe and making an LT like the 96, 97S and paint the door handles, put leather in them, and paint the mirrors and put LT badges on them. They bring 3,000 more. Huh? There was no. Excuse me. There was no difference. There was no difference. And even on Today, on the LTZs versus the L anyway, I don't want to get all into that geek stuff. Okay. How much more, Nate grand is this thing?

[E]

How much.

[A]

How much more than eight grand is it?

[E]

I was trying to get ten for it.

[B]

Two more than eight grand.

[A]

Well, why don't we split the difference? Do the old meet in the middle routine and go nine?

[E]

I could do what? Do we split the difference? Once again, 95.

[A]

See, I don't. I don't. I've got to transport your car. I try to make 300 to $400 a car. So now you're getting into my money.

[B]

Homie, you ain't split the difference two times, Jack.

[A]

I mean, I. I work cheap. I produce a check, and it actually clears every single time. And it goes quick, and you don't have to jack with nothing. And I overbid almost all my competition. And now you're getting me. Now I'm going into commercial mode. And by the way, if you got a CarMax offer, I'll beat that offer. And if I. If I don't beat your CarMax offer, I'll overnight you Federal Express a check for $100 for the opportunity. And that's true. So.

[E]

I do. I. I listen pretty much every Saturday. It's my first time caller.

[A]

Good, good. I think nine grand is the money. Let me look at some. Because it's not leather, it's not roof. I buy for.

[E]

No, your. Your best friends at KBB put it at 12.

[A]

Yeah, those son of a. Average MMR is 9500. They are facts.

[E]

It's like where I'm at. Right where I'm at.

[A]

So 95 buys it. Where are you living? Where you be staying?

[E]

We're up in spring.

[A]

Okay, 55, 000 miles. Let's split it one more time. How much for rib? How much for one rib? How about. How much for coke? Okay, how about. What if I just cut my hands and you pour some in it? Let's split it one more time. Go 92 and a half.

[E]

Two and a half. Well, I. You know, your data shows 95. That's really where I'd like to be. I started at 10.

[A]

I understand.

[E]

95. And we got a deal.

[A]

So now I can't tell you what my data says anymore. You're going to use it against me? You sound just like my old lady.

[C]

My data says you're a.

[A]

My data says up yours. No, let's see here. Okay, I'm gonna do. I'm Gonna look at one. Charlie. What's this? It's a 10. Dude, it's six year old Nissan miles. It's got 55. It's got good miles.

[E]

She just drove it right to school. She's a teacher, you know.

[B]

I wouldn't go a dime over 75 personally.

[A]

Baba, you don't know the market. If I followed you, man, I'd drive right off a cliff. Okay, I'm gonna look at something else.

[B]

You'd be buying it. I'm looking cheaper.

[A]

You think it works? All right, buy it for 9,500. I'll buy. I'll do your deal. 9,500 needs a clean carfax. If it's got a bad carfax, it will not work there. So here's what we're going to do. Go to givemetheven.com, load the pictures, load the VIN number it really takes. If you've got your VIN number handy, and take two snaps with your phone. This will take all of 30 seconds. It's not some long form. All we need is the vin, the miles and the pictures. Push the button, they'll send you the offer letter. What we're going to do with the VIN is pull the auto check and the Carfax history. Make sure it's legit. And the pictures just give us a feel for what it is. No hail damage, please. And we'll, we'll line it up for Monday or Tuesday pickup whenever you want.

[E]

Rock and roll, man. I. I really appreciate it. I'm. I'm out about right now. Give me about a half an hour. I'll get it done.

[A]

Thank you, sir. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. And any of you guys can do that at givemethe. Vin. Vin.com.

[B]

Sell us your car.

[A]

Give me the vin.com.

[B]

So easy you can do it in your underwear. Dude, that dude had a teacher car, man.

[A]

Teacher cars are fine.

[B]

No, no, no. There's nothing more broken down or depraved than an educator in public schools today, man. Seriously. It used to be the high school teachers were all happy. Yeah, because kids are, you know, halfway kind of half ass mature and easy to be around. But these little, you know, second, third, fourth graders, those little son of a guns, man, spend a whole day in a room full of those people.

[A]

How. What's up with the good looking teachers having sex with the students here?

[B]

I'll go you one better than that. What's with these sixth and seventh grade boys that can't keep their mouths shut?

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Now what are you talking about there?

[B]

Well, I mean, you know, because it wouldn't come Out. We wouldn't know about it if they didn't go home and tell mom, dad.

[D]

This happened in school.

[C]

I'll tell you what happened.

[B]

The police involved.

[C]

What happens is he tells somebody, some kid gets jealous, and that kid goes and goes, oh, really? Well, I'm gonna go tell somebody. That's what happened.

[D]

But back in my day, we'd hear about it. But you didn't think it was real.

[A]

We heard about it. You didn't think it was real.

[C]

Right.

[A]

There was this intern teacher deal from TCU in our English class, and everybody said she had game. I'm like, yeah, right, right, right, right. And then when I got out of high school, I ran into a bar and like, oh, there's Mrs. Hornsby. Let's see how gamey she is. And she was drinking with us and all that, but. But she wasn't wanting to throw no leg.

[C]

Huh?

[A]

That you know of. Hornsby.

[D]

Maybe the teachers are a little bit more undercover back then, too. Now they just.

[A]

Everything was more undercover, but now they like. I mean, you read these stories where the. Now there's the daiki volleyball coach has everybody over for a gang bang.

[C]

Yeah, it's like, he's like old school happening before.

[A]

But people, I'm here for the gang bang. I'm here for the gang bang. I mean, and everybody's videoing it. I mean, they're playing.

[C]

There you go.

[D]

That's the problem. Social media.

[C]

Social media is the problem. That's. I think it was happening before. We just had no way of getting it out.

[A]

Are teachers real freaky? Is this.

[C]

Yes. Oh, the few that I've dated. Some of the freakiest ever.

[B]

That's what I'm talking about. With a car, man.

[C]

Oh, man. I dated a first grade teacher. Really? Think. Oh, man. When she was in school. Straight arrow with the kids out. Oh, my Lord.

[A]

I don't know any of my kids teachers. I stay away from them. I. I don't even know their names.

[C]

It was fun, right?

[B]

Closet manics, man, they're all closet mannies.

[C]

That was fun.

[A]

Which is.

[B]

Which is very useful.

[A]

You're gonna get some calls from some teachers that are going to set you straight here, both of you.

[C]

I'm just telling my experience.

[B]

I'm.

[C]

I'm counting, that's all. No, my experience was not alleged. My experience was real.

[A]

Have you ever dated a teacher, bum?

[B]

I'm counting on that experience.

[A]

Have you ever dated a teacher?

[B]

You know, I don't think I have. Not as a grown up.

[A]

Were those gals that you and Kyle Took back to your apartment and they stole your tv? Wasn't one of them a teacher?

[B]

No, that's not what happened at all, man.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

We didn't take those girls anywhere, dude. We just picked them up, dropped them down the road. I was just trying to scare Kyle.

[A]

Then your TV got stolen.

[B]

Yeah, but that wasn't those girls, man. That was my neighbors from down the hall.

[C]

You guys are losing the audience.

[B]

Yeah, this is all very.

[C]

I'm in the audience and I'm losing. I'm lost.

[B]

So it can be a great story with a setup, but it takes a lot of time.

[A]

No, I don't have that much time. Okay, I ain't got that much time. But they stole just your tv?

[B]

No, no. All kinds of stuff, man.

[A]

Did you ever shake them down?

[B]

Two TVs, a wallet, a checkbook, my favorite BB gun.

[C]

And where were you when all this was happening?

[B]

I was in bed. In my bed. Yeah.

[C]

There you go. Alcohol.

[A]

So your home got robbed while you were there?

[B]

Alcohol. It was burglary, man. But you were passed out in another.

[C]

Room and there was no chemicals in your system.

[B]

Well, I might have been.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

How do you not hear somebody in.

[C]

Your house take two TVs out?

[A]

I mean, it's not loud.

[B]

The TVs were still in the boxes, man. They were new. They hadn't even been.

[A]

Dude, I fell asleep last night at 8. I. I laid down. My kids have bunk beds and I was walking by after dinner. I'm like, I'm gonna lay down for a minute, read on my phone, read the newspaper on my phone. Yeah, but I'm not gonna. I told myself I'm not gonna fall asleep. I Woke up at 3:40 this morning.

[B]

Boy.

[A]

And I've been up ever since.

[B]

That's how you do it.

[A]

I'm tired of these crazy. Going to sleep early, waking up, middle night. I don't know what's up. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. Aaron, good morning.

[B]

Good morning.

[E]

How are you?

[A]

I'm fine. What year did they change the body style on the Equinox? I forgot.

[E]

It's not the. The newer year. It's a 2007. It's more of the kind of squared off body.

[A]

It looks like the 05.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Okay. How many miles? 100 even.

[E]

Yeah, it said like 99,000. It'll hit 100,000 though pretty soon.

[A]

Is it leather or cloth?

[E]

It is leather.

[A]

So does it have a sunroof?

[E]

It does not have a sunroof. It does have the Heated seats. I mean it pretty much has everything except the sunroof on it.

[A]

How long have you owned it?

[E]

I've had it for about a year and a half now.

[A]

Okay. The money on it is five grand.

[E]

Five grand. Okay.

[A]

If it's nice, it's got to be nice there. If it's not real nice and it's four grand.

[E]

Okay. All right, that's. That's about what I was expecting.

[A]

So what did you just curiosity, what did you pay for it a year ago and where did you buy it? Did you buy it from a dealer or from an individual?

[E]

I bought it from an individual. He just kind of started his own little car dealership at an auction and I got it from him for 6200. At that time it had about 89,000 or so miles on it.

[A]

That's not bad though.

[E]

I mean I, I thought I got a pretty good deal. I was just kind of curious as to what it would go for now if I wanted to upgrade to something else. So. That's about what I was expecting though, so.

[A]

Well, one thing we are is on the money. We know our car business, we don't know anything else and we say stupid things on the radio, but we do know our car business.

[E]

Hey, love the show. I appreciate it very much.

[A]

Thank you, sir. I'm in a Ferrari store yesterday buying some trade ins and working a deal on a bunch of Highline cars.

[B]

Wow. What kind of trade ins do they have at Ferrari store?

[A]

Well, they have Ferraris that are over age that they want to sell. That one of them we were $20,000 apart on. I offered him 240 and he wanted 260. And he's like we'll go 250. And I was like, ah. I went up to 245. I was five grand away from buying this car.

[D]

How are you not sweating bullets offering that big of money?

[C]

I mean, that's a million dollars, man.

[A]

I ride deep, dawg. Who you talking to? Man?

[D]

I'm about peeing my pants and 50 grand. I can't imagine. 250.

[A]

Good Lord, it does screw your head up because you just bought something for 125. And then there's another one for 1 25. And then you get to the sub, it's a little bit more. And then he showed me this junky old Porsche that was 47 grand. And then when I left there I'm like, man, I shouldn't have bought that miley ass Porsche. But my head was so screwed up with these big. It sounded Cheap.

[B]

They know how to do it.

[D]

It did. It sounded cheap. That's right.

[C]

They bring you the big stuff first and then you go 47. Throw that in for free. Short sale.

[A]

Right, Right. It's like, ah, it's got 60 on it. And I got home, I think that's what woke me up in the middle of the night. I gave 47 grand for a 60, 000 mile Porsche.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

What the hell was I doing?

[B]

So when you look at there, I.

[A]

Got up in the middle of night and rebooked that thing. I'm like to make sure, man, I think I screwed up with this Porsche. Second guess it's a turbo, but oh well, it's got 60 on it. I mean who wants a 60, 000 mile Porsche for 50 grand? Some broke ass that can't get financed, that's who.

[D]

Somebody wants to look like the right thing.

[C]

A broke ass. Somebody who can afford a $50,000 car.

[A]

The guy that wants the $60,000 Porsche, 60,000 mile Porsche for 50 is a guy that's gonna have trouble getting financed. Because the guy that can ride a.

[C]

Check, why is he buying a fifty thousand dollar car?

[A]

Because he wants to look like he's riding in 100.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

He's trying to keep his girlfriend happy, okay? And his in laws from prayers and just put a piece of tape over the odometers.

[C]

He's got 50 somewhere.

[A]

No, no, no, you're, you're missing the point. He cannot, he ain't got the 50.

[C]

Oh, he ain't got the 50 he cannot get.

[A]

Finance wants it, but he can't buy it.

[C]

Can't do it.

[A]

Makes it hard to sell. Okay, Ferraris get this story. And I'd heard this and I knew this, but I'd forgotten. So when you order a new Ferrari, when you can't buy a new Bobbo, you hit the lottery and you go to Ferrari Houston and you want to buy a 358 GTB or whatever they're called, okay? They say man, we appreciate it, but we can't do it because you're. You don't qualify. But I'm paying cash. Why don't. Well, there, there's. You got to be in the club, the factory.

[C]

Almost like being with a republican.

[A]

The factory approves who gets to drive the new, the 700 or thousand new Ferraris that get sold in America a year.

[C]

This is just like being a republican. Go ahead.

[A]

They won't sell them to anybody. And on the bottom of the order sheet they ask what is his Ferrari or her Ferrari trade in. And if you're not driving a current Ferrari, then you can't buy a new Ferrari. So they're like, hey, you can't buy a new one, but we can sell you this, you know, 1500 mile cash.

[C]

And they won't sell me a new Ferrari. No, screw them.

[A]

No, they can't.

[C]

They can't.

[A]

Now if they have one in stock like the California's that those are, those aren't selling as well.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

The rear engine cars are the ones that are hot. Yeah. The front engine cars. Yeah, they'll sell you that if they got it stock. But most of these Ferraris are all pre sold. And then if you buy a new one for 320 and you keep it under 1500 miles, or maybe it's 2000 miles and trade it back in within a year, they'll give you all your money back.

[D]

What?

[A]

And sell you another one.

[C]

How can that be?

[A]

So he has all these. The book of business is rich people that are ordering new Ferraris every year. And so there's only so many allocated and only the club members get to have. So Bob, if you win the lottery or if we say we sign a big radio contract and we're all rich and you're going to buy your new Ferrari, you got to buy a used Ferrari first from them that's registered with them and then trade it in in a year.

[C]

That's so ridiculous.

[A]

To make sure you're a real Ferrari guy.

[B]

You know what I'd buy, man? What if they'll sell it to me? I don't know. Now you got me full of doubts. I would buy me a snow cone truck.

[C]

Here we go.

[B]

I knew it, you know?

[C]

Knew it.

[B]

And not to sell snow cones either. Just to have my own private, personal damn snow cone.

[C]

And what would be the music that would come out of that snow cone?

[A]

The used Ferraris bring more than the new Ferraris.

[C]

Wow. Do they?

[A]

Yes. So to get in line to sell one at msrp, you've got to be in the club. And then you get to buy one under market value. And then when you trade it in, you get all your money back and you get to do it again, you know. So they're like allowing you to be in their deal?

[C]

No idea. I underbelly.

[A]

I thought it was BS and then he was really explaining it to me. I was like, you gotta be S and me. He's like, nope.

[B]

You know what music come out of my snow cone truck, JD what it'd be, It'd be a steely dance Song, you know, it sounds like you want to hear it.

[C]

Let me hear it.

[A]

Reeling in the years by Steely Dan brought you ladies vibrator.

[C]

I would buy snow cones from you, I promise.

[A]

800-800-7234 or givemetheven.com I will buy your Ferrari if you want to sell one.

[C]

Right?

[A]

800, 800 radio. 800 and if you do put in highline cars in our deal. Tell us about the services because you know, I know him that it's expensive stuff and if it needs the big service, got to tell us about it because it's going to affect the value. My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars all across the spectrum. Thousand bucks to 200 grand on the radio right here. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay wolf show. I love this song.

[B]

Evergreen.

[D]

What are you talking about?

[A]

Baba. Come see me. Corey. Is this a 6 liter or a 7. 3? What is your engine? Your F250, a 6 liter or a 7.3 liter?

[E]

It's a 0. 6 or 6. 0. I'm sorry.

[A]

Okay. 6. 0. That. That was a. Not. Not trying to beat up your truck. I was a Ford dealer back then. That was a terrible, terrible year for that engine. Have you not had any problems with it?

[E]

The EGR deal went out on it here a while back and I. I recently had it fixed. Cost me about $4,000.

[A]

Did you. Did they bulletproof it? Did they just run the whole thing? Did they do the whole package?

[E]

I had an individual do it. He is retired from one of the dealerships over here in Beaumont and he. He opened the business up on the side and I brought it to him and his brother in law and uh. He redid the whole engine.

[A]

Is it leather or cloth?

[E]

It's leather.

[A]

So it's a lariat on a scale of 1 to 10?

[E]

Yes sir. It's a continental edition lariat. I've never heard 100. 100th edition.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

It was my dad's truck and when he passed away here last year, I. I got it from him.

[A]

Is it a four wheel drive or two wheel drive?

[E]

Four wheel drive.

[A]

Long bed or short? It should be short bed with as.

[E]

A short wheel base. Yes sir.

[A]

Four do. I'm six to seven grand.

[E]

Six, seven grand on it.

[A]

Yep. And I'm scared to death of it. But I trust what you're saying on this. I kind of swore these Things off, they're so bad. I mean, like you said, you had a problem and you take it to Mechanic. Cost you 4,000 to fix it. Sounds like you fixed it right though. And if it is fixed right, we're all cool. Yeah, but I'll be damned.

[E]

Yeah. If it's all good job on. I mean, I had no problem with it since he done it. He told me that was a big deal with them trucks. Oh, yeah, sure. Messing up on them.

[A]

And do you have the receipt from the work he did? Because I'm gonna need to prove it when I go to sell it.

[E]

Oh, yeah, I got. I got all the paperwork on it.

[A]

Okay, well, go to givemetheven.com and load it in there and we'll get to working on it. But I'll buy it.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

All right, thanks. 8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234. 800, 800 radio.

[B]

Wheeling. Wheeling and dealing. John Clay Wool.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This has been the busiest month I've had in ever. No, about 12 years.

[B]

How many cars you got in the lot right here at the. At the studio.

[A]

Oh, the damage.

[B]

You having a hail sale or something?

[A]

There's 20 lined up for the insurance company. Come get.

[B]

Good God, man.

[D]

What did you say, J.D. when you came in? You're asking me about that BMW?

[C]

Oh, yeah. The Beamer outside. It looked like a 50 year old woman's rear end.

[B]

It got beat up.

[A]

They look like golf balls. They really do.

[D]

It was the damnedest thing. I've never seen anything like that. I mean, you've been through some storms, right? I've never been through anything like that.

[A]

I had those cars looked just like my cars did back in 2000 when the tornado hit Fort Worth. And what I wound up doing is just. I lined them all up at the auction. I sold them just like they are and I busted out after the insurance money. Really? Basically half price.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

But I mean, to fix all this stuff would take a year. Yeah. I'm not gonna jack with it.

[D]

Right.

[A]

When I get paid, when I get settled with the insurance company, we may list them all for you guys, if y' all want to. I mean, they're gonna be cheap. Cheap. I mean, if you like a cheap.

[D]

Car that's beat up.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're good cars that, that are. That are hailed.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I. I don't want to mess with them. I'm gonna sell them fast. I'm gonna sell for exactly what I. After the insurance money. From my experience, I'll be Right on the money with them. I'll still own them. Right. What they're worth after the damage. And I just want to get rid of them all, get my money back and go on the next one. So I don't want to screw with them. I didn't, I wasn't here. I was out buying cars and I called a recon guy and I said, hey, get the. This hailstorm hit Fort Worth at like 4 in the morning.

[D]

No, 6 o'.

[A]

Clock. Okay, thanks, Turley. Well, correct. Captain Literal strikes again. And everybody, Turley clarified it is 6am not in the morning. In the morning.

[D]

Because it woke my ass up, that's why.

[A]

All right, So I, I said call the dent guys, get them over here now and get them started on these cars so we can get them busy because everyone's going to be calling them the next day and I want them here so I'm not waiting in line. And. And they called me back this. Well, the dick guy's here. Like. Yeah, he said, he just laughed. Like, what's he laughing at? He said these things are total, dude.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, I mean they're worth, it's not worth fixing them.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

They're all cars that were like six to eight thousand dollar stuff. Most of it. There were a couple of nice ones, but they were all going to this note lot that I supply.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And they're just, I mean they got, you know, $5,000 worth of damage to repair it. They're basically told they're done. Yeah. It was so bad, they're gonna, you know, they're bring worth 2500 bucks.

[C]

It killed like six animals at the zoo.

[A]

Yeah, birds. Pretty easy to kill a bird.

[C]

Not the point. It still was very serious.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if it killed an elephant.

[D]

How much damage did it do?

[C]

Total $300 million so far.

[A]

Well, it did about 300,000 here on our stuff. Thank God Almighty Jesus Christ. I need to go to, go to church on Sunday and pray to the heavens that it didn't hit on a different side of town where my other stuff was.

[C]

Oh, so you go to church when God does something good for you?

[A]

Yes, Lord.

[B]

Like Bob, that's what I was thinking about, you know, my little mishap last weekend, you know, when I had a little trouble on the road. That's, that's how I. That's the only proof I have in this world that there's really, you know, a divine creator.

[C]

How is this.

[B]

Because sometimes he really screws with me.

[C]

So. So your only proof of God is that he screws with you, Bobbo?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[B]

Doesn't that make sense?

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, ye of little faith.

[A]

J.D. yes. I'm gonna bid this Nissan real quick and then I want to hear some news. Craig, is this a crew cab or.

[C]

Extended killing me, man.

[E]

It's a crew cab, four wheel drive.

[A]

Or two Average, rough or clean. It's got big miles on it. 2500 to three grand. If that works for you. Go to Give me the VIN. Give me, give me the VIN.com. load it up, we'll buy it. What's in the news?

[C]

What is in the news? Well, Hulk Hogan is 150, $115 million richer.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Jury indicted indicated they wanted to actually give him more in punitive damages due to Gawker Media. They put out this. Now, my personal opinion, he should pay. Hulk should pay anybody that saw a sex tape with him and Bubba the Love Sponge's estranged wife. They're saying Bubba or excuse me, Hulk says the tape was stolen.

[D]

Well, here's the thing. You're saying Hulk and then his actual name is Terry. Whatever.

[C]

What is his name? Terry Bolia.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay, so he's saying that his character Hulk.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Was the one that was playing up this whole thing and you know, and got. Didn't really, you know, the whole image.

[C]

Right.

[D]

But Terry, who's the same guy playing the same guy.

[C]

Who's the same guy.

[D]

He's the one that was violated.

[C]

Right.

[D]

He didn't know this is being recorded.

[C]

Right.

[D]

How the hell did he pull this off?

[C]

And a jury bought it.

[D]

I can't, I, I don't. He's like, they're talking about his, his wang size and everything. And he's like, well, and there's audio of Hulk saying, yeah, it's 10ft long.

[A]

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[C]

Yeah. And then he's like, well, because that's a bit. That's what we do in radio. What do we do? We go, well, honey, it's a bit.

[D]

Oh, I know. I've used that before. My wife.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

It's just stick and it works with her. But I didn't think it was worth that much money.

[C]

Apparently it's worth a hundred fifteen million dollars. Like I said, anybody that saw the tape should probably have to get some of that cash. More proof that drugs and alcohol will kill you. Kids. Former Toronto mayor Rob Ford is now in the hospital in grave condition. For the past year and a half, Ford has been battling an aggressive form of soft tissue cancer. But, you know, goes back to the fact that you abused your body for a number of years and you make a jackass out of yourself in the meanwhile. That's not why you got cancer.

[D]

Well, but remember, John allegedly said that he was running a prostitution house in.

[A]

That's what got me kicked off the air. And Toronto.

[C]

Allegedly, you said.

[A]

With Justin Bieber.

[C]

Right. How did we get Justin Bieber into it?

[A]

Actually, it was Turley. This.

[D]

Well, we both. We both were piling on.

[A]

Hey, Bob, Remember when I saw about earlier, I get myself in plenty of trouble. I don't need any help. That day, Turley helped me get in trouble. And we got the call that we're done in Canada.

[B]

Turley's wicked, dude. Turley will get you into stuff.

[C]

No, wait, Something. I'm mad at you over something you said about Rob Ford. He made an ass of himself for, like, two or three years.

[A]

It was a joke, too, but those guys are serious up there.

[C]

They're serious about Rob Ford. Yeah, I mean, he was like. He was okay.

[B]

Yeah, this is. We need to talk to John. Yeah, we. What you said about Rod Ford.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Was really not so nice. Okay, sorry. But, you know, just because he smokes crack and you think that's funny. Like, do you ever think maybe, like, we smoke crack, too and we're people. Okay, sorry.

[C]

Take off.

[B]

And you. You're off of the radio up here in Toronto.

[A]

No, the whole thing was about coon asses, which is a French Canadian slang term.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For Cajuns.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And they thought it was. They thought. They thought it was a black racial slur.

[C]

Well, they were wrong.

[A]

Right. And when I got in the conversation, I'm like, you guys are a bunch of coon asses. Is the truth. Y' all are Canadian. French Canadians. And the coon asses were the ones that were pushed down to the Gulf of Mexico. Let's do our history lesson. I mean, in Louisiana, there's bumper stickers, proud to be a coon ass. There's T shirts. It's not a bad word.

[C]

No, not at all. They. They embrace it.

[A]

They wouldn't. No. Absolute embrace it. There's restaurants that say it on there.

[C]

Right?

[A]

And they got all over me about it, and they just would not break. Believe that it wasn't. It's like, whatever. And then the Rob Ford thing came up.

[B]

It was more of a. Like an ASPCA thing, actually. They thought you were actually denigrating raccoons then.

[A]

Do you remember in Toronto, there was a dead raccoon.

[D]

Oh, yes.

[A]

On the sidewalk. And they made a memorial about It.

[B]

Yeah, don't you know it. Because the wildlife is important, you know, to the biosystems we got. Okay, yeah.

[C]

I feel a Sarah Palin joke coming.

[B]

Hey, be nice to the raccoons, eh?

[C]

Sources are reporting that the Major League Baseball's Colorado Rockies. Now this may or may not be true. Plan to sell food items which contain marijuana at concession stands during the games next season. Of course, pot brownies are up on there. They're considering Baba would. Might know some of this. The Durango bango, which is considered to be the very best weed in the Rocky Mountain State.

[B]

Why do I know this?

[C]

Because you.

[D]

Wait.

[C]

Somebody does a pot report? Who is that?

[A]

The dope report?

[D]

Yeah. Bob. Floyd does it not not remember, but I know Bob.

[C]

Different character, but I understand he can't. Thank you, Hulk. But Bob. What's his name?

[D]

Floyd.

[A]

Bob Floyd.

[C]

Bob Floyd is a friend of yours.

[B]

Well, like Casey Kum's a friend of yours.

[C]

I know, but he's not a doper.

[B]

Talking about, man.

[D]

So let's say this story's true.

[C]

I'd say it's true.

[D]

That's great. Think about how enjoyable baseball would be.

[C]

Oh, man. The only way to watch baseball. No, wait a minute. No, no, no. Think about it, because baseball is the slowest sport in the world, and you're gonna slow it down more.

[D]

No, no, you. I mean, the concession stands would rake in.

[C]

Yeah, they would.

[D]

You get the munchies. Sixth inning.

[A]

Hey, while y' all are running your mouths, there's a. There's a Larry Kraut. Larry C. We'll call him C. In Beaumont that pushed in a 2014911 Turbo Porsche S into the system. And Larry, if you're listening, call the show because I've got some questions for you. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. It's got 12,000 miles on it. Go ahead.

[C]

All right. Americans spent roughly four times as much on legal pot sales in 2015 as they did on Girl Scout cookies.

[B]

You'll have to ask Bobbo about that. He knows all about it.

[C]

Well, dude, you didn't. You know a guy who does a dope report? US Legal marijuana market, which includes medical and recreational pots, saw 2015 revenue between 3 billion with a B.

[B]

Wonder which kind Bobbo likes.

[C]

And three. What kind do you like, Bobbo?

[B]

Let's ask him.

[D]

Three billion. And you know, we don't need it.

[A]

You don't need illegal. There's no money.

[C]

I never understood. And I don't. I don't smoke dope. A Few times I've had it. It made me paranoid and hungry.

[A]

Few times you've had it?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You mean smart, dude. Okay, Donald Trump. I have never had a sip of alcohol in my life.

[C]

No, I didn't say that. I used to drink a lot. That's why it was an alcohol recovery. I said, I have smoked pot.

[A]

You said, I don't smoke it, but the one time I did.

[C]

No, I've never said that.

[A]

Ha.

[B]

You can see I never did.

[C]

John, you need to listen to the show or do what you're doing because you're not doing well.

[B]

Both.

[C]

You're not doing both of them very well. I said I have smoked pot. And a few times I did. It made me paranoid and hungry and I can get all I can get. I get that on my own. I don't need dope to help me.

[D]

But what was your point, though?

[C]

I can't remember now.

[D]

See, the pot did it.

[B]

You done lost your show turned memory, dawg.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Let's see you done smoked it away.

[A]

We gotta go. We'll be back in a momento 4, 4, 4, 800, 800 radio. Or just go to. Give me. Give me the VIN. Give me the VIN. The VIN number, 17 digits.

[C]

Givemetheven.com and when we come back, I'll find. I'll tell you about a job where you can make 12,000 a year just drinking beer. And turn your head around.

[A]

Do you love me, mary jane? Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[C]

I actually have one of those, bubba.

[B]

I have a pocket percolator.

[C]

I actually own one.

[B]

Do you really?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I'd like to see that.

[C]

I'll bring it up.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It makes a very unique noise.

[A]

Awesome. Pocket percolator.

[C]

Yes. It's a male.

[A]

Oh, God. Going nasty. Paxton. Good morning. You're on the air.

[B]

Scatter chat.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

06 half ton Dodge with a buck 20. Does it have 20 in wheels on it?

[E]

No. 17.

[A]

Is it a quad cab or regular cab?

[E]

Four door.

[A]

Okay. The 47 V8 or the six cylinder 47 V8?

[E]

You need the VIN number.

[A]

No, I can't do it on the air. I can do that on the. I can do that. Go to givemetheven.com and just put it in. But I can. I could bid it with, you know, without the vin once before we buy it. Before we buy it, we're going to pull the vin, make sure the history's clean. It's not A flood car or anything like that. 44,504. 545 to 5.

[E]

All right, thank you. Zero.

[A]

Well, that sounded like a deal.

[D]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[C]

That's a lock.

[A]

I mean, go ahead and mark that one as go ahead and call the transporters and send them to his house.

[C]

That's in the W category.

[A]

Put a mark on the board.

[B]

Coming your way, daddy.

[A]

All right. Click.

[C]

All right, so I promise, I'm sorry.

[A]

That your small V8, small wheeled. 06.5 grand. I mean, what, did I hit him wrong? No.5 Dodge with a buck 20. I mean no.6 stuff that he didn't.

[D]

Tell you about and you got to tell everybody. Listen, you gotta describe it correctly.

[A]

It says two wheel drive on the board, so I figured it was a two wheel drive. I mean if I hit it wrong, call me back, tell me what you'll take for it. Maybe I should. Let me look. Go ahead, but I'm gonna look this one up.

[C]

I'm just saying we talked about the make getting paid to drink beer. No, it can't be real. Yeah, it is. World Beer, a Florida based chain of craft beer taverns, is looking for three interns who will spend most almost four months this summer. This is real. Visiting breweries across the country and abroad, tasting beer, attending beer festivals and posting about their adventures via the blog and social media.

[A]

I hit it too light. I'll give six grand. You're right. Go ahead.

[C]

World of Beer will pay you $12,000 for four months and cover all your expenses, all your travel expenses, your food and your lodging.

[A]

If it's an slt.

[D]

That is freaking awesome. Y what a great job to have out of college.

[C]

Apply for a beer soaked internship. Simply go to World of Beer's website, World of Beer. And they're only looking for three, so I'd get on that pretty quick.

[D]

Oh, there, you know, there's going to be thousands of them. So how are they going to select it? Like, well, do you have to? Like, well, I'm an expert in IPAs.

[C]

So I think you show up naked and drunk and they go, yeah, you know what?

[B]

I'll bet it's an endurance thing. I'll bet it's. I'll bet they sit you in a room, all hundred of you and you just. Whoever, you know, whoever outlasts everybody else is like survivor, you know, who can.

[D]

Hold their beer the best?

[A]

I really, I'm enjoying beer more and more the older I get and I'm not a beer snob at all. I don't give a damn about IPAs or bay or ales or all that.

[D]

And that's coming up.

[A]

I like Miller Light or any light, but Miller Light, preferably in the frozen schooner.

[C]

I can drink that.

[A]

I really like that.

[D]

Have you tried an IPA or anything?

[A]

I've tried it all. You get too drunk.

[D]

I know.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

What got me figured out. I don't even know what an ipa.

[A]

I don't want to. I'm not drinking to get drunk.

[B]

What is an ipa?

[A]

Chill out.

[D]

Yeah, but you only have to drink one to get that buzz.

[A]

But then you gotta go home.

[B]

Individual, personal, asinine beer.

[C]

What is an ipa?

[A]

I want to drink beer for an hour and not get drunk.

[B]

They're not going to tell us.

[D]

It's like a home. It's. It's just a different type of, like, homemade.

[A]

It's like popsicles to me.

[D]

Different type of hops. Different. It's more. It's higher potency in alcohol, different flavors with it.

[C]

It's called an India Pale Ale. That's what IPA stands for. India Pale Ale. It's a poppy beer within the broader category of pale ale.

[B]

Example.

[D]

Oh, there's a lot of different.

[C]

Full moon, Goose Island, Flat Tire.

[B]

Tire.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I've had that at the Golden Nugget.

[D]

It's got like 6% and somebody. I've had one, a Belgium one had an 18 alcohol in it.

[C]

Oh, my one.

[D]

I was toasted.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it was great.

[C]

That's past wine. I believe most wines are like 12, 12, 13.

[B]

You can buy like. Like Steel Reserve, though. It's one of those cheap rice beers, but they crank it up to eight.

[A]

I wouldn't mind going hill after the show and getting a cold beer now that we're talking about.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[D]

I think there's a dois in the refrigerator.

[B]

You drop by the store on the way home and you pick up what you like. Miller, you're.

[A]

You're. I stopped by my haunt and get. I. I like the tap in the. In the fishbowl. Schooner. That's frozen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not a big beer drinker at home. Little bit, but my kids would argue that, but messes it up.

[B]

I don't always drink, but when I do, yeah. I take a six pack of Natural Light Talbot Boys.

[A]

Really? In a brown paper bag. Keeping it classy, Bobbo. Keeping it classy.

[B]

I'm just saying. Sixteen ounces times six. Yes, sir.

[C]

We should drink more water, they say. Unless you're near Puget Sound in your Washington. Apparently. Samples taken from the Water show high levels of Prozac, bug spray, cocaine, xanax, ibuprofen and 77 other drugs.

[D]

Holy cow.

[C]

These drugs literally littered not only the water but also the tissues of juvenile salmon. So if you're eating the salmon or drinking the water, you might be getting high.

[A]

Maybe high.

[C]

Yeah. This is actually a very, a very serious situation. But they're. That's up near Washington, Puget Sound. Did you hear about Trey Walker? 23 year old cornerback of the Baltimore Ravens? Was actually. This is pretty serious. Yeah, we won't talk about that one.

[D]

He's dead. From a motorcycle wreck.

[C]

Yeah, but just.

[A]

I don't. Well that's funny.

[D]

Yeah, it's not funny, but I don't understand those guys that. Yeah, they're making millions of bucks. Why are you riding a bike? You know, and I'm sure it's in the contract somewhere and maybe void.

[C]

Yeah, I was going to say with movie actors and such, when they go into a film, you can't do crazy stuff. You can't like, you know, what's his name that almost got killed in the biplane?

[A]

Johnny Manziel.

[C]

No, the biplane. The Star Wars.

[D]

His dad already Harrison Ford.

[C]

Thank you, Harrison Ford.

[D]

Well, and did you hear the story? There's a baseball player that wanted his kid in the locker room constantly. This is part of with the Washington Senators. He had his kid in the locker room as part of his contract, sign a new contract with the White Sox. And they said yeah, fine, okay, no problem. Well, last year he didn't have such a good year. So this year they're like hey, the kid thing, it's not no more. So he said well you know what? Screw it, I retire.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. Because he's rather have time with his kids. There's always something in a contract that's.

[C]

Written when we run in Dallas. Since we're not on there anymore, I can say this. We had. You can have alcohol in on the air, you know, into our contract.

[A]

Really?

[C]

You can drink alcohol? The way the lawyer wrote it was you can drink as long as it's part of the show. Oh, your old contract for entertainment purposes. You may have alcohol on the air. Drink it. And we did.

[D]

Explains why you were an alcoholic.

[C]

Wow, did we ever. It was not only expected, it was in my contract. Yeah.

[A]

No. So how did it work?

[C]

How do it work?

[A]

The contract, the drinking on the air.

[C]

It didn't. Well, it didn't work well for me. I ended up in rehab. My co host just ended up combative and angry every day because he would start drinking before he got there. So by the time we hit on the air at 3 o', clock, he was punchy. By the time we got off the air at 7, he was toasted.

[A]

So y' all had a bottle of what, Jack. Okay. And y' all just sipped on it? Yeah. Glasses.

[D]

I didn't.

[C]

On the air, but then I was in.

[A]

Did he.

[C]

He did, yes. Oh, it opened. He would. He would do the little. The cork nose, the little noise. He would do that on the air regularly.

[D]

But would everybody like the board op and everybody else?

[C]

No, just him.

[A]

I think the board op is the one that can't do it.

[D]

Yeah, that would be kind of.

[C]

No, because the board. No, the board op is doing the legal stuff, so you can't.

[B]

But the.

[C]

The.

[D]

I'm gonna play this song real quick.

[C]

The host of the show was the only guy that drank openly. And he had the cork and he went, oh, I'll drink to that. So he made a bit out of it. Every day.

[A]

Every single day.

[C]

Every day.

[A]

Never got a dwi.

[C]

Quick story.

[A]

Hold on. We're out of time.

[D]

Next.

[C]

Okay, I'll tell you next about Tommy Lee.

[A]

All right, we'll be right back. Joseph and Lay. Hang on a second. I'm gonna do these cars off there. Let's look them up.