#28 John Clay Wolfe Show 03/19/16 Hour 3

Summary

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The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #28 (03/19/16 – Hour 3)

Date: February 12, 2026
Podcast: The John Clay Wolfe Show
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Notable Cast: JD, Turley, Bobbo, Callers

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Episode Overview

In this lively, irreverent hour, John Clay Wolfe and his crew riff on everything from car valuations and the used car market, to wild tales of partying teens, suspicious escorts in Dallas, and even the politics of tipping bartenders. True to the show's trademark blend of cars, sports, sex, drugs, and rock & roll, the discussion careens from funny, provocative banter to quick-fire car appraisals, and from parenting anxiety to outlandish news stories. Listeners join in with real-world stories about current teen culture and selling cars, while the crew delivers sharp takes, offbeat wisdom, and plenty of laughs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Car Appraisals and Market Trends

[00:11–09:25]

• Caller Ray's 1995 Corvette ZR1:

  • Discussion on rarity (the ZR1 wasn't actually made in 1995, revealing possible confusion or misidentification).
  • John tries to look up market value and reasons for his reluctance to make a “cock off” bid on a rare or uncertain car.
  • Quote:
    • "If I just cock off a number, I'm being an idiot because I don't know." — John Clay Wolfe [01:04]

• Mercedes ML350 with 65,000 miles:

  • Discussion on rapid car depreciation, especially for older European luxury cars.
  • John offers $6,000 to the caller, explaining the low wholesale prices for older models.
  • Quote:
    • “These Benzes and Beamers that are two body styles old are worth nothing." — John Clay Wolfe [06:13]

• Acura TLX Review:

  • John reviews the 2016 Acura TLX, commending its strong value retention versus similar Mercedes models.
  • Crew compares resale values of Acuras vs. Mercedes, analyzing market data.
  • Quote:
    • "Acura Highlines hold their value extremely well. I'm impressed with these cars." — John Clay Wolfe [07:01]

2. Escort Pages, Cops, and “Brotherhoods”

[01:55–04:12]

• The team jokes about checking Dallas escort listings and avoiding police stings.
• Bobbo introduces the website "escortpolice.com," a self-proclaimed watchdog site for hobbyists to avoid undercover cops.
• Humorous Quotes:
  • “You charm them with perfume and cocaine.” — Bobbo [04:00]
  • “A brotherhood of well meaning hobbyists.” — Bobbo [03:34]

3. News, Taxes, and Bizarre Surgeries

[09:26–11:56]

• Penis Transplants News:

  • John’s reaction to news about experimental penis transplants for wounded servicemen.
  • (General disbelief and banter about unusual medical innovations.)

• Unusual Tax Deductions:

  • Discussion about deductible expenses such as babysitting, gambling losses, and hiring one's children in a family business.

• Katt Williams Story:

  • News of comedian Katt Williams allegedly orchestrating a “beatdown” featuring “Wiccan sorcery.”
  • The team playfully riffs on the weirdness of celebrities and witchcraft.
  • Quote:
    • "Wicking's like a nature witch, man... I thought they just shook branches and stuff." — Bobbo [11:31]

4. Politics & Trump Parody

[12:19–15:03]

• Discussion of Donald Trump's veiled threats about “riots" if he doesn't win the nomination, and riffing on the media spin.
• Turley plays a satirical Trump call-in to a Cleveland radio show (clear parody), with outlandish predictions about the world if Trump isn’t nominated.
• Quote:
  • “You’re gonna have a nation full of unexpected pregnancies. That’s not good for a lady’s health...There’ll be a whole country full of good American people driving gay cars and screwing ugly girls with Muslim bathrobes on, and you can’t even get a taco." — "Donald Trump" (Parody) [13:01–14:47]

5. Behind the Scenes – Show and Career Reflections

[15:03–20:18]

• The team discusses the grind of radio vs. working other gigs, reminiscing about better paydays, listener recognition, and getting free beers as minor celebs.
• John relays a stressful story about flying his own plane through storms, sparking talk about the pros and cons of private aviation.

6. Bartender Wages & Tipping Culture

[21:59–24:21]

• The crew wonders what bartenders make nowadays, sharing stories about past earnings.
• They theorize why people tip bartenders more than food servers and strategize for all-inclusive resorts.
• JD recounts his drinking journey from wine coolers to vodka, to laughter and ribbing from the crew.

7. Alcohol, Nostalgia, and Teen Party Culture

[24:43–29:16]

• Fun recollections about early drinking experiences: California Coolers, Red Dog beer, Purple Passion, and creative underage parties.
• JD and Bobbo compare their kids’ straight-laced lifestyles versus their wild youth.
• Listeners call in to confirm that high school party culture is alive and well—teens still party, just more cautiously due to DWI laws and Uber.
• Quote:
  • “They still do that...We still sneak out all the time. It’s still like that. Probably even worse.” — 20-year-old Caller [29:33]

8. Parenting Anxieties & Generational Change

[27:26–33:29]

• John and crew discuss their worries about raising kids in today’s world and reflect on generational shifts in attitude and risk.
• B12 vitamins are humorously suggested as a solution for parental exhaustion.

9. Music, Fiddles vs. Violins, and Family

[34:30–35:49]

• Brief, playful debate over whether fiddles and violins are actually different. (Answer: they're not, difference is in the player/music style.)

10. Selling Cheap Cars — The Economics

[35:52–40:58]

• John explains to a caller (Bacara) why some old, low-value cars just aren’t worth much and details the costs/risks of operating a car buying business.
• Talks about shipping costs, auction fees, and market risks—sometimes they lose money, sometimes they win.

11. Red Hot Car Market and Business Model

[40:36–41:18]

• John breaks down the seasonal peak in car values due to tax refunds, encouraging listeners to sell while the market is hot.

12. Show’s Future, Hustle, and Media Ethics

[41:19–44:22]

• Team jokes about the show being “icing on the cake” and riff about paid news stories and the hustle of media.
• John jests about leveraging his paraplegic status for TV stories.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Used Car Depreciation:
  • “If that ain’t a depreciating asset, I don’t know what is.” — John Clay Wolfe [06:18]
• On Car Business:
  • "You don’t make any money spending $500 jacking with $100 cars." — John Clay Wolfe [38:03]
• On Parenting:
  • “They’re showing the signs of wild ass.” — John Clay Wolfe [32:44]
  • “‘Have you ever live listen[ed] to Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon, man, it was awesome.’” — John (riffing on future “stoner” conversations) [31:34]
• On the Escort Game:
  • “A brotherhood of well meaning hobbyists.” — Bobbo [03:34]
• On Bartenders:
  • “Have you ever been up… We can drive our own [car], but you can’t do it here, right?” — Bobbo [21:55]
• On Drink Choices:
  • “Are you sure you were an alcoholic, man? You were just a homosexual.” — John Clay Wolfe (to JD, jokingly about his early wine cooler days) [24:23]
• On the News Hustle:
  • “Everything’s a hustle.” — John Clay Wolfe [44:05]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Opening (Car Appraisals): 00:11–01:47
• Escort Pages & Hobbyists: 01:55–04:12
• Car Value Discussion/Acura TLX Review: 06:46–09:26
• Penis Transplants / News Quirks: 09:26–11:56
• Trump Parody Call: 13:01–14:47
• Bartender Wages & Tips: 22:04–24:21
• Teen Party Culture Calls: 29:20–30:54
• Economics of Cheap Cars: 35:52–41:11
• Business Model Ethics/Jokes: 41:11–44:22

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Tone and Style

The show is unfiltered, funny, and conversational, jumping rapidly between real-life car business, bawdy anecdotes, current events, and deeply personal stories. John and the crew blend wisecracks with genuine expertise, making the episode both informative and entertainment-driven, with a friendly, even raucous, “guys at the bar” vibe.

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For More: Visit GiveMeTheVIN.com or find the full back catalog by searching "The John Clay Wolfe Show" on your favorite podcast platforms.

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Transcript

[John Clay Wolf]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

800-800-7234. Or just go to our website, givemethevin. Givemethevin.com Ray on line two with the 95 vet ZR1. Hey, I was talking to Ray during the break a little bit. Ray, are you there?

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Hey, I was looking. I'm looking up in my system to get some market data on this car, and I'm not finding a ZR1 option in 95. Are you 500% sure it's a 1995 model?

[Caller]

I'm a thousand percent sure, and it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is a factory ZR1. Then why is this thing not giving me that option? Because it is not. And this thing is never, ever, ever 1995. Right. Okay, then I can't.

[Caller]

Competition always.

[John Clay Wolf]

Aren't these cars worth like $30,000 or something?

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, I can't bid this one. I haven't bought one of these in three years. So I'm. I'm. If I just cock off a number, I'm being an idiot because I don't know. Do you. Have you had it appraised anywhere? All right, I want Turley. You find anything on a 95? Yeah, why the hell is this not in my system then?

[Turley]

5.7 V8.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, what do you want for it?

[Caller]

132 for it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, let's see if there's any. All right, I'm gonna have to do this one off the air. Do me this favor, ray. Go to givemetheven.com. put the VIN number in a couple of pictures. Let me work on it off the.

[Turley]

Air, how many miles? Okay, good.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's got 33, 000 miles. All right, thanks, sir.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234, 800, 800 radio.

[Turley]

Hear what Baba was talking about during the break?

[John Clay Wolf]

I try not to listen.

[Turley]

He's calling JD Over. I'm like, what's going on? He's like, oh, there's this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Look at this.

[Turley]

Look, look. New girl in Dallas. There's a new girl in Dallas. I'm like, what are you talking about?

[JD]

No idea.

[John Clay Wolf]

What?

[Bobbo]

Yeah, look at the escort pages, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, just like old times. Nothing's changes.

[Bobbo]

These are great, man.

[JD]

They're just right around the corner and they're very hot.

[John Clay Wolf]

Heaven's just a sin away.

[JD]

I would always be afraid to do any of that because, I mean, I'd be afraid it's a cop.

[Bobbo]

No, but just how easy would it.

[JD]

Be to set that up as a cop?

[John Clay Wolf]

Why would.

[Bobbo]

You gotta have an imagination though, man, and just think there's bail money because I'm a small town kid. Now listen, none of this was ever available, you know, in my, in my nourishing environment, you know, growing up as a wee lad.

[JD]

Well, I don't believe anybody had that available to them as a wee lad.

[Bobbo]

But they got him out here in the city, boy.

[JD]

Well, yes they do. And so they're cops that pose as hookers on those pages. Well, they.

[Bobbo]

And case in point, this one I'm looking at, okay, is right around, it's literally on the corner of Camp Bowie and Brian Irving. Yeah, right around the corner.

[JD]

Right around the corner. So, so you take, you take, you.

[Bobbo]

Take her phone number. You want it? You take her phone number and you open another Google page and you search it. And when you Google search phone number, guess what comes up?

[John Clay Wolf]

Everybody else's.

[Bobbo]

There's a page called escortpolice.com. and if they're like. Yeah, undercover. Oh, so they'll be on this page. People who get busted report their number and then they can't bust anybody else. Cause this is like a brotherhood.

[JD]

JD There's a website called escortpolice.com.

[Bobbo]

Yes. Get out of brotherhood.

[John Clay Wolf]

So it's a trap.

[Bobbo]

A brotherhood of well meaning hobbyists.

[JD]

I bet more, more of them are traps than are not.

[Turley]

How would I wouldn't trust to go, yeah, call his number up real quick.

[JD]

Okay, so you go in there and you go, so are you a cop? She goes, no. And then you go, well here's 20 bucks. She goes, you're under arrested.

[Bobbo]

Right. See, you don't. Yeah, because you don't give him any money.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well then you.

[JD]

How do you not give the money?

[Turley]

You charm them like you just wanted company.

[JD]

I'm not going to get a straight answer.

[Bobbo]

You charm them with perfume and cocaine.

[JD]

No. Okay, yeah, that'll work. All right.

[Bobbo]

I find it very interesting.

[JD]

Yeah, clearly we don't do this and we don't make you do it.

[Turley]

No.

[Bobbo]

Cuz you're over here at my station, man in the brakes though, and you're looking the looking.

[JD]

Well, they're pictures. I'm going to look. That's all I'm doing is a big difference in.

[Bobbo]

I know you'll enjoy. Cuz dude. Cuz you're not, you're doing nothing.

[JD]

I'm doing nothing. I'm not doing anything. I wouldn't do anything. I.

[Turley]

Here's what's going to happen. We're going to find JD busted because of this tad.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good morning, you're on the air. 05 Mercedes ML350 with 65 average. Rough or clean.

[Caller]

It'S almost perfect. When I take it to the car wash, it comes back dirtier than when it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, listen to him. Listen to the.

[Turley]

There you go.

[Bobbo]

Are you a cop?

[Caller]

No, I'm not. My wife is a cop.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[Turley]

I knew it.

[John Clay Wolf]

I knew it. No, kid, it's so new. It's got factory air and the spare.

[Caller]

No, she's a neat freak.

[John Clay Wolf]

And it's.

[Caller]

I mean, it's in perfect condition.

[John Clay Wolf]

Average MMR was 60, 65,000 miles is 49.50. So five grand is average MMR. How much is this car?

[Caller]

I'm sorry, I couldn't catch that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Average mmr, which is market report auction data. So I built the car, I put 65,000 miles on it. And the average market data on this car, the auction. The expected auction results on a 65,000 mile 05 is 4850. Gee, I hear you. It's the body style changes that screw it up. But I'm saying that because I immediately knew that you were not going to be happy with what we offered. So I was trying to set your expectations and tell you what the. What the real book price is and then ask you how much your car is, what you'll take for it. Right.

[Caller]

Okay, well, no problem. That sounds good. I'll just. I'll have my wife call you and you tell her.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, Right. I don't want to tell her. I don't want. I'll give. I'll give six grand for it.

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. Thank you.

[Caller]

All right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you.

[Caller]

I appreciate it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800. 800 radio.

[Bobbo]

You're fishing the guy like an angler, man. You got that plastic worm and you throw it out and you pull and reel.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm telling you, these Benzes and Beamers that are two body styles old are worth nothing.

[Bobbo]

Really.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, well, look at this car. I mean, this car was 50 grand new and now it's worth six. It's only got 65,000 miles on it. I mean, that's. If that ain't a depreciating asset, I don't know what is.

[Bobbo]

I'll bet that Guy got that $46,000 worth of use out of the car, though.

[John Clay Wolf]

I did. I bet he bought it with 40 on it for 28 cuz cop wives 4, 5 years ago.

[Bobbo]

Cop wives Crazy.

[John Clay Wolf]

She's not a cop. He says she's kidding. I need to do a review, right?

[Turley]

Yes, we do.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's too bad time.

[Turley]

I can find the theme.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dead errors rocks.

[Bobbo]

I was really hoping the guy was telling the truth about that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now.

Now it's time for the ride of the week.

[Guest]

Oh, boy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh. 16, 2016 TLX Acura. An Acura TLX MSRP 45720. These cars hold their value well. Acura Highlines hold their value extremely well. I'm impressed with these cars. This is the sh. Super high output, all wheel drive advantage. It's got everything. I mean, what do you want to know?

[Turley]

It scoots, doesn't it?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, it's got everything under the sun. But I mean, for a sticker, 45 grand, you can probably buy one for low 40s. They don't discount them. Crazy. The Acuras and Hondas, they don't have big rebates like the domestic manufacturer.

[Turley]

See, like you're just talking about holding its value. Ben's doesn't.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Turley]

It's what? See, what class would that be competitive with the Benz wise?

[John Clay Wolf]

C class.

[Turley]

Yeah. C class. Yeah, That C class wouldn't hold this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so let's go back. Perfect example, Turley. What year was that Mercedes?

[Turley]

I can't remember.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so let's go to an 05C class with 65, 000 miles in that body style. That car be worth the same money? $6,500 for sure. I buy them all the time. Okay, so let's go to an 05 Acura. They didn't make this TSX, but the.

[Turley]

Next TL probably would be similar to it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, this is a tlx. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's see what this is interesting. We're doing a scientific experiment here. Tsx, tlx, tl.

[Turley]

All right, so what was the miles?

[John Clay Wolf]

What's a regular T? That was that Mercedes a minute ago had 65 on it. So let's go. Average MMR on a 05 Acura TL with 65,000 miles on it. Here's the proof in the pudding. Average MMR on this car is 15, 1700. Higher than average MMR on the 05 Mercedes ML in the same miles in the same year. There it is. So there's. There's the proof in the pudding. In the new ML sticker on it would be 60 grand or 58 grand. So you'd have to pay 10,000 more and lose your butt and lose faster. Yeah, there you go. Wow.

[Turley]

So Acura.

[John Clay Wolf]

Acura. There's a. There's a review for you. You can put that one in your pipe and smoke it, cuz that's a true one. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars. Forgive me the VIN. GiveMeTheVI.com JD what else have you got in the news?

[JD]

We have more time for news.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sure.

[JD]

Surgeons at the John Hopkins School of Medicine preparing to perform experimental penis transplants on 60 wounded servicemen. Michael sent me this one. Where'd it come from? Oh, New York Post. I thought maybe this is another fake story.

[Turley]

Just wanted to hear you read it.

[JD]

It's real. Yeah. My little. Missing my tooth. And they've been working on Penith. Penith. The Baltimore doctors who've been practicing on cadavers are ready now to take on servicemen that have been hurt in the war. I think it's a very nice thing for them to do. Tax time's coming up with 70,000 pages in the tax code. Did you know there are some things that many people overlook here? Five top things you can deduct. Babysitting costs is Number one, Gambling losses. You can actually deduct those.

[Turley]

Penis additions, penis surgery.

[JD]

Number three, weight loss programs.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[JD]

Number four, pay paying your kids. You can actually.

[Turley]

Whoa, wait, really?

[JD]

Uh huh. Pollock says there are six. There are major tax benefits to hiring your own underage children as bona fide employees. If you own a small business, for starters, as long as your child doesn't earn more than 6,100 bucks. They don't own any. Any federal tax. But it comes off your tax.

[Turley]

But it has to be through your business. You can't just pay them around the house.

[JD]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've got four kids. And you.

[Turley]

You got a little write off. You need to do it.

[JD]

That is a right.

[John Clay Wolf]

25,000.

[Turley]

That's. That's a good chunk right there.

[John Clay Wolf]

That is. Thanks, jd. I learned something today.

[JD]

And in. In one. Bizarre even by Katt Williams standards.

[John Clay Wolf]

And Michael tells all you kids, you're hired.

[JD]

He's a strange comedian. Is that right?

[Turley]

Yeah. He's a black comedian that just. He's talks real loud like this.

[JD]

Okay.

[Turley]

Real active. And does a lot of cocaine too.

[JD]

An actress has accused the comedian of organizing a beatdown on her that included Wiccan sorcery. Jamelia Majesty says the brutal incident went down at Cat Cat's Malibu home almost two years ago. What is up.

[Bobbo]

What.

[JD]

What is up with strange? Why can't they just be normal?

[Turley]

A Wiccan Wiccans what the hell's a Wiccan?

[JD]

That's.

[Bobbo]

That's Wicking's like a nature witch, man. But I didn't think they had anything to do with sorcery. I thought they just, like, shook branches and stuff, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

The Blair Witch Project.

[Bobbo]

Yeah. Skin a rabbit.

[Turley]

So that guy was so high, he beat up a Wiccan.

[JD]

Beat up a Wiccan. That's all. That's all the news I have for today.

[Bobbo]

Talking about Cat Williams.

[Turley]

Yeah, you know Cat.

[JD]

Cat Williams.

[Turley]

He's crazy. He's funny, but he's just crazy on the stage.

[Bobbo]

I don't want nothing to do with no Wiccans coming out my house.

[JD]

Is he black?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[JD]

Oh, extremely. I've never seen.

[Bobbo]

Come on, white man. Come up my driveway shaking a stick at me. Got a rabbit skin, drinking mad dog.

[Turley]

Tenny, Tenny, Tenny. That's exactly right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good job, baba.

[Bobbo]

You go cast me a spell. Make. Make me a white man. No, no.

[Turley]

That's awesome.

[Bobbo]

Wicking this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Y' all were talking about Donald Trump calling in the radio station.

[Bobbo]

Wicked good.

[Turley]

Have you not heard the call?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Turley]

Well, you know the whole story about how he's gonna. Saying that they're gonna cause a riot if he doesn't get the nomination.

[JD]

Get the actual. You know, they're gonna be riots.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now, I did hear that clip of him talking to the news, and he didn't say it like you Democrats are trying to spin it.

[Turley]

No, he's called into. What show was it? It's like he didn't.

[Bobbo]

He didn't threaten riots, but it's almost like kind of a. Almost a backhand veil threat. If I don't get the nomination, there could be rioting. There are millions of people following. There could be rioting.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what he said.

[Turley]

Now, listen, I found this. He called into a Cleveland radio show, and this is what he was telling them was gonna happen.

[Guest]

Okay, that's what I'm saying. And I'm not saying I want there to be riots, but there could be. There could be some riots. I have millions of people behind me. But that's not all that could happen. All the illegal immigrants will all go on strike. That's right. And there'll be no gardeners or car washers or taco stands or taxi drivers. Most of your convenience stores are not going to have coffee. They're all on strike. It could happen, my friend. And probably. Probably your birth control is not going to work. It's going to stop working. No, your rubbers won't work. The Pills. Nothing's going to work. You're going to have a nation full of unexpected pregnancies. And that's not good for a lady's health. It could be very bad. It could be very, very bad. And probably if I don't get the nomination, all of these Muslims are gonna revolt. Yeah. No, because if I don't get the nomination, Allah's gonna tell them to do that. And they'll probably convict thousands of young American girls and then they'll all be wearing that bathrobe thing with the hood and their breasts all covered up and nobody will know who they're screwing. Is she pretty? You don't know. There could be scars and moles and blemishes all over the place. She might not even be a girl, I can tell you that. So if I don't get this nomination, you better look closely and a gallon of regular gas might go up to eight or even nine dollars. And if you're thinking of getting a car, forget about it. New car prices probably will double or triple. Except for those little gay cars, the gay ones. So hope you want to drive a Fiat or whatever. There'll be a whole country full of good American people driving gay cars and screwing ugly girls with Muslim bathrobes on. And you can't even get a taco.

[Turley]

I mean, that sounds like he's threatening some crazy stuff there.

[JD]

I'm not sure that was Donald Trump.

[Turley]

Said it was in Cleveland radio show. I mean, he talks to all these different radio shows all over the world.

[JD]

Yeah, but he sounded a little like my cousin Benny, more so than he.

[John Clay Wolf]

Send me that Donald, I want to post it on.

[Bobbo]

Donald would do our show. Donald will do anybody's show if he can find five minutes. He'll do anybody show if you just call him up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, let's get him.

[Bobbo]

Just get with his press people. He would do our show. If we can get Ted Nugent, for God's sakes, we can get Donald.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ted Nugent will talk to a brick wall. Ted Nugent is hard up for exposure.

[Bobbo]

And he might as well as much sense as he's making the highest profile.

[John Clay Wolf]

Interview Turley ever snagged with Simon Cowell, in my opinion.

[JD]

You think that was good? That was a good interview.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, that was. That was pretty cool to be on this show. Yeah, actually, now that we're on and we're going to be multi market, we.

[JD]

Can be a lot easier to pull.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, we can get those big names again. How much time does it take you to do it?

[Turley]

I mean, it's Constant. Just. You got to send out the email. That doesn't take long. But then you got to constantly follow up, follow up, follow up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, that's fine. That was fun. We've all been so lazy and working so much, we quit doing it.

[JD]

You work a real job.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm tired, dude. Well, I'm telling you, you've been up.

[JD]

Since 3 o' clock in the morning.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's not just. No, I'm not talking about today. I'm just talking about in general.

[JD]

You tired of.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm just tired of traveling. I'm tired of traveling, yeah. I'm tired of that damn Louisiana trip. I'm sick of it.

[Bobbo]

You didn't get much spring break to speak of either.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I had a plane ride. You know, I fly my own plane.

[JD]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

And coming back from Baton Rouge Thursday afternoon.

[JD]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

That was the worst plane ride I'd had.

[JD]

Why?

[John Clay Wolf]

Three years?

[JD]

Why?

[John Clay Wolf]

Big storms, clouds. I mean, when. Before I took off and I was looking at the maps, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go fill my tanks up. Because you never know, I might get up there and have to go around divert and I don't want to be long.

[JD]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

I had plenty of fuel to get home, but.

[JD]

But you wanted to.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And we, we were. I had added 30 minutes to the trip. Going up, going down, going left, going right, all over the place.

[JD]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

And, ah. I'm getting too old for this stuff.

[Turley]

That does not sound pleasant. You were scared or just scared?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[JD]

Anxious.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just having to fly that hard and be that alert.

[Turley]

Oh, it was a lot of work.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, man. Constantly changing direction, constantly changing altitude, constantly.

[Turley]

Looking at it like driving in the rain.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's hard.

[Turley]

It's. You got it. You're knuckling. White knuckling and stuff.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, yes, one thing, you just use your autopilot to. To make your turns and everything. Then you won't get screwed up. But I don't know, I just. I don't want to die in an airplane.

[JD]

It's a good idea.

[Turley]

Yeah, that's probably a great idea.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And I. I think flying my. I really believe that flying myself is safer on the long trips. That driving. No doubt.

[JD]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

But weather will screw you up. And I'm just. I'm just out on it.

[Turley]

So who was flying with you? How. How did he turn out?

[John Clay Wolf]

This guy named Mark. He had a. He had a ticket back to DFW airport and his plane got delayed and we were leaving the auction and I said, hey, you ride with me. I'LL give a ride back. You just get an Uber from where we stop. He bids against me all the time. You'd think he'd offered to pay for some gas, but no, no, no.

[Turley]

Is probably not going to fly again after that flight.

[John Clay Wolf]

He loved it. Really?

[JD]

You're flying anyway. Why should I pay? You were going to do it either way.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. All right, well, next time you get to fill it up.

[JD]

Next time you get to walk.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no, no. I just, it's just expensive. The fuel bills are expensive. I, I, I'd rather haul people with me than split the gas. I say that I don't give it. I just want to get there, get done, get home. But I'm.

[JD]

We need to be full time radio. That's all there is to it.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, hold on a second. I thought we were full time radio.

[JD]

No, this is Saturday. This is only Saturday. If you show up tomorrow, we won't be here.

[John Clay Wolf]

It doesn't pay enough. J.D. yeah, it just doesn't.

[JD]

I'm hip.

[John Clay Wolf]

It just doesn't pay.

[JD]

Tell me all about it. It is fun because I am full time radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

I know.

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I didn't pay and you were really full time. Are you sick of what you do?

[JD]

No, I love what I do. But you just don't paint anything. I love what I do. I just doesn't pay anything.

[John Clay Wolf]

When I talk to you and you're doing all this editing you're bitching about.

[JD]

It's a lot of. I don't about it. I love doing it.

[John Clay Wolf]

You do about it.

[JD]

It's a lot of work for what I'm getting paid, okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, you're bitching about your pay because.

[Turley]

Back in the day the pay was a lot more.

[JD]

If I was getting paid 100 and 200 grand like I used to to be doing this, oh my lord, that would be the best job in the world.

[Turley]

But it's steadily just.

[John Clay Wolf]

What was the best money year you had in radio?

[JD]

300,000 to talk to talk to do what we're doing here.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Three hunsky.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Turley]

And you didn't do half the editing and stuff like that. You had other people doing it, right? Oh no, this is, this was half the work.

[JD]

This is half the work. Yeah. We were literally putting in well, 20 hour, 20 hours on the air. But you put in another 20, you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Know, just full time job.

[JD]

It was full time job but it was fun. It was just.

[John Clay Wolf]

And when you went places, you got everything for free.

[JD]

Everything.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD]

The show was number one all across the board. Everybody knew us. We I got on a dive. A dive boat in Cozumel and had two listeners on board. Board. I mean, everybody listened to the show.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's fun. 800. You know, I feel that way in Houston. We've been on down in Houston. Everywhere I go, it's so fun to see you guys. And they recognize my voice. And because I don't live in Houston, so I'm never around, right? And the few times I'm down there, they're like, hey, I know that. Yeah, you're that crazy son of a. On Saturdays. Yep, that's me.

[JD]

Have you ever got any free yet?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[JD]

What'd you get?

[John Clay Wolf]

Beers. Well, that's all I want.

[JD]

Start.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's all I need. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf, and I buy cars right here on Planet radio and ESPN 97.5.

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

I think i10 is still closed down, heading to Louisiana.

[Bobbo]

Really?

[JD]

It was yesterday.

[John Clay Wolf]

The truck drivers won't go get my cars out of there because they're afraid of the levee breaking.

[Bobbo]

What kind of volume are you talking about there, John?

[John Clay Wolf]

There's about 50 cars down there.

[Bobbo]

50 car. How many transports is there?

[John Clay Wolf]

No, there's not 50. There's 40 there.

[JD]

Weighs around the five, five, five.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're carrying 10 to 12 cars. Well, they just need to go down to Shreveport and go through 49, get them. Well, then we'd be deadheading. I'm like, did you haul my cars every week? You might have to deadhead one week. Well, that won't make it because if they're loaded both ways and they make a lot more money, I'm like, I need my car. I mean, it's a bad deal. Take. Take one for the team. We're not gonna do that. I'm like, okay, well, I'll remember that, man.

[Bobbo]

Truck drivers, they gotcha. They got you by the short and curlies, man, because they know nobody else can do exactly what they do.

[JD]

You know what?

[Bobbo]

They're just exactly like bartenders, you know? Nobody else is going to provide that service for you in. In the establishment where it comes to.

[JD]

Worst, you can pour your own drink.

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have you ever been up. We can drive. Your own.

[Bobbo]

You can go home and pour your own drink, but you can't do it here, right? All right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bartenders out there, call me. I want to hear what you're making. These days, I'D like to know what a bartender makes.

[Turley]

What'd you pay? Yours?

[John Clay Wolf]

You pay them nothing?

[Turley]

Nothing.

[John Clay Wolf]

I really pay minimum.

[Turley]

The.

[John Clay Wolf]

The minimum wage for a service employee, which is like $3 an hour. Yeah, but I'd like to know. Call an 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Tell me what? I want to ask you questions about what you're making. What a bartender makes these days. It used to be a hundred bucks.

[Turley]

On a good night, I did pretty well. I mean, because, you know, that's there.

[John Clay Wolf]

But that was 20 years ago. I mean, I had my own bar in college. And our bartenders make about a hundred dollars on the Thursday, Friday, Saturday night each, and then on the off nights, they'd make about 30 to 40. I don't know what it is now.

[Turley]

Well, prices of alcohol is higher. You're supposed to tip a percentage. I usually do.

[John Clay Wolf]

Actually, the beer, if you get a bottle of beer is still two and a quarter or 250. That's what we were charging for back then.

[Bobbo]

They're like six bucks now.

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Not for a Coors Light.

[Bobbo]

It depends on where you go. Like, the bartenders at Chuck E. Cheese are not making a lot of money.

[Turley]

They do serve beer there. You know that, right, John?

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800.

[Bobbo]

It's not a lucrative position.

[John Clay Wolf]

And why do we tip bartenders better than we do food servers?

[JD]

Because you want better servers. Next pour.

[Turley]

Because I want that pour to be a little bit taller.

[JD]

You're not gonna order more nachos.

[John Clay Wolf]

Exactly, yes.

[Turley]

You make sure you get a little bit heavier. Hand that next pour.

[JD]

When you go to a resort, like, it's an all you can drink thing, you tip the bartender heavy that first time, they remember you the next four days.

[Turley]

You shouldn't be telling the secret out there, jd.

[JD]

Everybody knows that. Yeah, you tip heavy the first day, and you get. You get immediate service, and you get heavy pores.

[John Clay Wolf]

Heavy pores.

[JD]

Heavy pores.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what life's about, huh, Olympus?

[JD]

When you're an alcoholic, buddy, it's about heavy pores. You don't have to go back twice.

[John Clay Wolf]

What were you drinking?

[JD]

I started off a long time ago with wine coolers. Then I moved to beer. Then I moved to drink crown. And then toward the end, I was with the vodka, which most alcoholics do. You go to the vodka because you think it doesn't smell, but it does. And boxed wine, that's how I ended.

[Turley]

From wine coolers. That was your.

[JD]

That was in the middle. Yeah, it was. Because it was because I Wasn't a.

[Turley]

Drinker, became an alcoholic because of that.

[JD]

I started on wine coolers and then I went to beer when I realized wine coolers were making me fat because there were a lot more sugar.

[Bobbo]

Are you sure you were an alcoholic, man?

[John Clay Wolf]

You were just a homosexual.

[Bobbo]

I don't think you're doing it right.

[JD]

I was doing it perfectly right. I went years and years. I didn't start drinking until I was in my mid-30s. Heavily.

[Turley]

Wine coolers I've never seen.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've never seen.

[JD]

Because I didn't like beer. I didn't like the taste of beer.

[Turley]

With other alcoholics laughing at you when you started this story?

[JD]

Actually, yes.

[Bobbo]

Do you remember the old coolers, J.D. the California coolers? The original wine coolers? When I was 14, when I was in the ninth grade, that was my deal, man. California coolers. And they came in an actual six pack, if I'm not mistaken, right?

[JD]

And so did Zima.

[Bobbo]

And me and my buddy Mark. Dude, we were freshmen and we like, our parents would go off to fiddle contests and stuff. We'd have the house or. So me and my buddy Mark just get Cootie Brown on two six packs.

[John Clay Wolf]

What age?

[Bobbo]

14.

[John Clay Wolf]

I remember.

[Bobbo]

I'm not saying this is good for your kids.

[JD]

Folks remember Purple passion and the two year old.

[John Clay Wolf]

I remember going out of high school. 20 bucks. Go to the convenience store, the one that would take the fake IDs. Get a twelver of Coors Extra Gold or Keystone Light, which was the discount stuff, right? And go pick your date up.

[Turley]

Maybe it's because where I was in my area in Grand Prairie, but we would drink alize it. That was like the first real drink to get messed up on. And it's basically like a screwdriver.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, hey, hey. ELTON.

[Guest]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

I10 is rolling.

[Caller]

Last evening, late evening. That's last night.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's good news. That's good news.

[Caller]

I told the lady I was a klutz on it. I'm talking so.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, that's fine.

[Caller]

Thank you for having me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where are you listening from? Where are you?

[Caller]

I'm being coons. I love your show. I'm in coons.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thanks, man. Thanks for listening. He's in Koontz.

[Turley]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

Say that fast five times. Selly sells seashells by the seashore. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. I10 is open. That means that I can get my cars picked up.

[JD]

Get your cars.

[Turley]

Contact dispatch.

[JD]

I just found out they started making Purple Passion again. I just pulled it up. They did. They quit Making it for all Zemos.

[Turley]

Oh, it was terrible.

[JD]

Zema was the worst.

[Turley]

Remember that? Was it Mad Dog, the beer.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Turley]

And you turn the.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mad Dog is licorice. Cheap, black. It's just cheap.

[Turley]

No, no, no.

[JD]

Mad Dog 20. 20 is.

[Turley]

I'm talking. What was that? It was Mad Dog, right? There was a beer. Mad Dog, where you turn the cap upside down and it looked like the devil was doing something to it. Red Dog. Red Dog. That's it. Red Dog.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, that was cheap.

[Turley]

Yes, that was cheap.

[John Clay Wolf]

We had Red Dog at the back in the bar days. Red Dog was on tap.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

That was Miller's version of Keystone.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Bobbo]

Miller has tried again and again to get a cheap version of Miller and they already got his Miller High Life. Just stick to that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Bobbo]

The champagne of beers.

[Turley]

Why do we start off on cheap alcohol? Like when we're kids and stuff? Why don't we get the good stuff?

[John Clay Wolf]

Because we didn't have money. Yeah.

[Bobbo]

Have a. Have a liquor cabinet at home. And I had a few friends that had, you know, we. We started with pretty good stuff, in our opinion. I mean, J and W. Scott's pretty.

[John Clay Wolf]

So I have three sons and they're going to get driver's license at 15 or 16.

[JD]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And they're going to be doing it. Is this still game on? Is our old lifestyle still. What I mean, in high school, are they still going out on dates and loading up the beer cooler and acting like they're 30?

[Turley]

I don't.

[Bobbo]

Not in my experience. My kids are really, really straight, clean jelly bean man compared to me.

[John Clay Wolf]

But they were around you and you scared them straight.

[JD]

Maybe mine too, man. Mine don't. Don't drink at all.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't.

[Turley]

I mean, mine's tense. I don't know this one looking forward to too. They're going to be like me or not.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'd like to know from. From. From listeners out there what the. What. What the temperature is in high school. I got three kids and they're all little hellions, dude. They just sit there. They sit there and beat the hell out of each other. One of them last night's like, bloody nose. And the little one's like, I got him again. My wife is like, dude, what have you.

[Turley]

What.

[John Clay Wolf]

What have I crossbred with here?

[Bobbo]

They're real close to the same age too, aren't they? All within four or five years.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobbo]

So you know, they're all going to be 20, like, bam, bam, bam, Bam, Bam.

[Turley]

Now 16 is when it's.

[JD]

We need to be on the radio. Every day. Every day when your kids turn 13, 14, 15, 16. God, it's gonna be so much fun.

[John Clay Wolf]

Are they gonna cost a lot more?

[JD]

Oh, yeah, no, it'll be fine.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right now my girl's 12. Boy, nine, six and two. Yeah, we're screwed.

[JD]

Yeah, they are.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234. 800, 800 radio.

[Turley]

John just started thinking about how long he has to work now.

[JD]

I was wondering.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was just getting tired, you know, I'm just complaining about being tired.

[JD]

Well, dude, you're. You're just stretching. You're just stretching.

[John Clay Wolf]

I didn't start having kids till I was 31.

[JD]

I know, so you started late. My kids are. My kids are 30, 27.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on, let me grab this one. Good morning. You're on the air.

[Turley]

I'm out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hello.

[Caller]

Oh, I called about the comments about the going out and all that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, tell me.

[Caller]

Yeah, they still do that?

[John Clay Wolf]

How old are your kids?

[Caller]

Actually I'm 20 and I have a 18 year old sister that just is about to graduate. So I kind of.

[John Clay Wolf]

She's telling them still? No, but it's just still full party mode. I mean, like it always was, pretty much.

[Caller]

We still sneak out all the time. They're still doing that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, there's no question.

[Caller]

They got 20 people in school one time that literally got one person to go buy a bunch of stuff for a party we were having. It was just crazy. We. It's still like that. It's probably even worse.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, well, that answers that. Shane, good morning. What's this? What? What's the status?

[Caller]

Oh, it's big time.

[John Clay Wolf]

Am I screwed?

[Caller]

I've got a stepson at 16 and my daughter 16 and it drink is on.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's just. How old are you?

[Caller]

I am 46.

[John Clay Wolf]

So is it any different than it was when we were in high school or is it worse? It can't be worse.

[Caller]

No, it's not worse.

[Guest]

It's the same.

[Caller]

I mean, they just got through with.

[John Clay Wolf]

Spring Break beach, but now the DWI deal is real. Back then it wasn't real. I mean, I'm not trying to be naive. I mean, it was real, but it wasn't real.

[Turley]

Not as big as.

[John Clay Wolf]

Not even close. I mean, so do they. Are they all getting popped for DWI's now?

[Caller]

No, they're pretty smart about that Uber.

[Turley]

That's why Uber's advantage.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do what now?

[Caller]

They just stay. When they get to drinking, do you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just go pick them up?

[Caller]

No.

Well, I mean, they're either at the house or their buddies. And keys are up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Gotcha. Gotcha. Is we. Is weed a bigger deal than it was back in our day? I don't know.

[Caller]

I'm not a weed smoker.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I mean, I've never bought any.

[Caller]

But they're not smoking it. But they hadn't told me that yet.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, what are they gonna do, dad? We got so stoned last night. Have you ever live listen to Pink Floyd? Dark side of the Moon, man, it was awesome. Yeah. All right, well, so I got that to look forward to.

[Turley]

So it's going to be the same. Well, that's good that we know what to look for.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234, 800, 800 radio.

[JD]

So if you're tired now, I would recommend a nap. You're gonna get busier now.

[Bobbo]

Just. You know what you're getting about that A's, John Wolf, you know. 43, 44. Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

You know, start taking B12 in the morning. Dude.

[John Clay Wolf]

B12.

[Bobbo]

B12. Very good for the circulation. Give you a little better energy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Isn't that a shot?

[JD]

No, no, you can be.

[Bobbo]

You take tiny pills, you buy them at Walmart.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dude, do you do it?

[Bobbo]

I do. Every day.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is that how you can stay in such good shape?

[Bobbo]

Yeah, yeah, that's. They'll make you a real fat bastard.

[JD]

Wow.

[Bobbo]

No, no, but that's how I keep awake and, you know, energized.

[Turley]

I don't think the problem is gonna be keeping awake. It's just keeping sane is what he's talking about.

[Bobbo]

800-872-3- shoulders. Our job. He'll do fine. He's gonna do great. He's gonna do fine.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, you hadn't met these kids.

[Bobbo]

Don't you be dragging them down. Turley. Wicked Turley.

[John Clay Wolf]

They're showing the signs of wild ass.

[Bobbo]

I'll bet they are.

[Turley]

But see, you knew what you did, right? Have you told your wife yet what to expect?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. Okay. But does she realize now she knows. Okay, now she realizes what I was saying is true. True. So now it's all my fault.

[JD]

Oh, sure.

[Turley]

So when you're like before I impregnate you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Look, this is what's going to happen. I didn't have her sign a disclaimer.

[Turley]

Okay? That's smart of you.

[JD]

She didn't believe it, but I did.

[John Clay Wolf]

Tell her a lot. She. Now she completely believes it.

[JD]

Well, yeah. She was so young. She didn't know that you were telling the truth. She thought you were being.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, she was 16. I was getting her drunk.

[JD]

Right. Thank you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you. Not 16, but 20. 20, you know, she was.

[JD]

Yeah, she grew up around you.

[John Clay Wolf]

But see, she's from Denmark and they let him drink at any age over there. And she. She barely drinks at all. And it's different. They let it go over there. So it's not a big deal. Nah, it's weird. 8008-0072-3480-0800-Radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars right here on Planet Radio in 97.5espn. The podcast is up now. Every week we push it up after the show at itunes. Any podcast service you use, just put in John Claywell show. It's right there for your fingertips. We will be right back. Uno momento, por favor. GiveMeTheEven.com is the website, by the way. GiveMeTheVin.com.

Now back to the john clay wolf show. Hit them up right now. 1-800-800-radio. This is the john clay wolf show.

He's playing your wife's vibrator here.

[Bobbo]

He's a lot better than I am, though.

[John Clay Wolf]

He. He's practiced on it a lot more.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, this guy's like a specialist.

[Turley]

That's pretty good. Yeah. Got a lot to learn. Bobbo.

[Bobbo]

Explain it like a saw, like a bluegrass instrument. Yeah, but that's the difference, man, between a violin and a fiddle. You know, it's. It's. It's all in how you play it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is there any difference?

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Between a violin and a fiddle?

[Bobbo]

Okay, listen.

[Turley]

Oh, I thought you talk about a different plane of vibration.

[Bobbo]

The Frampton's like.

[Turley]

Yeah, doing.

[Bobbo]

You feel. I gotta feel. Okay, the difference between that and. Yeah, there's a difference.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, but is there really a difference between a violin and a fiddle?

[Bobbo]

Well, that's what my dad said. You know, my dad's a professional fiddler now.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[Bobbo]

Since he's retired, he plays with a little band. He's playing like four nights a week. And he's a fiddler. Now. There are violinists.

[John Clay Wolf]

I understand all that, dammit. But if you open up the two cases, is there a difference between a violin and a fiddle? Not the player, but the instrument.

[JD]

Violin and fiddle are pretty much the same string musical instrument. Same instrument generally called the fiddle. When you used to play folk music and violin is played with classical, the answer is no. The instrument is the same.

[John Clay Wolf]

J Rome, you on the air?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is this thing leather or cloth? Leather. How nice is it? It's old, you know that, but it's got decent miles on it. Is it Is it a sweetheart or has it got some edge to it?

[Caller]

Nice. It's a sweetheart.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm a thousand dollar buyer if it's a sweetheart.

[Caller]

A thousand?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I mean there's just not much market on them. The old body three body style, old Buick grandma89,000 mile. They're not easy to sell. It's kind of like the Grand Marquis. They're hard. It's really not what I do. I'll, I mean I'll, I'll buy it for a thousand because I'm sitting here on the radio saying I'll buy your car and I will but it's not, I'm not going to go. I'm. You're not gonna have to worry about me calling you a bunch looking for it. I'm not gonna be bugging you.

[Turley]

Hey, where's Bakara?

[John Clay Wolf]

You're not gonna be saying man, these guys won't quit calling me.

[JD]

Get off me man.

[John Clay Wolf]

But I will give you a thousand dollars for it if you want to sell it. I think I could sell it for 1500.

[Caller]

I'll pass.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, thanks. 800-800-7234. Call me some nice cars and I will try to buy them. I want them. Yes, I'll lean into them.

[Turley]

Miss, earlier you bought a G Wagon for 100 something grand and well we.

[John Clay Wolf]

We bought a, a lifted Chevy truck on the during the break for 25 grand. Love that thing. And he was impressed with our offer. There's a couple. I like pretty cars, I like good old fashioned note cars like his too but they're just not. I mean a thousand dollar car is a thousand dollar car. I had a customer during the break a minute ago that had 220000 mile Ford Focus.

[JD]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And it doesn't have any air and it's 10 body styles old and they're just. It's done, it's. It's done. It's not me, it's just not what I do. I don't buy when I'm at dealerships and I buy 20 cars in a whack I'll take all the junk with it just to provide a service.

[JD]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I'll do it for you guys. But you're not. I mean if there's a hundred dollar car, it's a hundred dollar car.

[JD]

Fair enough.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean our shipping bill is more than what your car's worth.

[JD]

People don't realize it costs money to get from there to here.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean what we offer is a service curbside so we send our transport to your home or office and pick it up. And we have people involved, cost a lot of money. And you don't make any money spending 500 jacking with hundred dollar cars.

[JD]

What's the minimum you put into a car? You put a couple hundred to move it, 100 bucks for somebody to sell it.

[John Clay Wolf]

All my buyers make $100 a pig.

[JD]

Okay, so that's, that's three, right? You're already into a car before you even do anything with it.

[John Clay Wolf]

There's a sales, sales fee if I have to auction sell it, then there's a sale fee if I hand very 300.

[JD]

Okay, so now you're 500 bucks into.

[John Clay Wolf]

The car and we want to make 300. So we kind of have to be, you know, $800 versus what we think the final mark is.

[JD]

Fair enough.

[John Clay Wolf]

So if it's 35, if I'm offering 35 grand, I think it'll bring 35 five to 35, eight, maybe 36.

[JD]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

It happens all the time. I hit them at 35 grand, spend the 800 or 600 in expenses and sell them a thousand back of that and lose 1600. I'm running a, I'm running averages, I'm farming for an average. We lost $2,000 on a 1970 C10 pretty classic truck the other day. Thought we killed it, thought we ripped it.

[JD]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

We lost two grand. I bought a 1969, 72 vet, the blue one from a listener. Thought we ripped it. No, lost a thousand bucks and then I bought a 63 vet from a guy and it did great. So it's like insurance, you insure them all. Some of them are going to have claims, some of them won't. What's the average work? Do I know exactly what these cars are worth?

[Turley]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, but do I know exactly? There's variable in them. You guys lie to me sometimes and the market changes. The market changes, the description's wrong sometimes and we miss it. We had a Jeep the other day, we lost 3,000 on cuz the guy submitted it with 50,000 miles and it shows up here and it has 75 and we're brain dead and didn't look.

[JD]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean is it 25,000? But that's the difference between who's going to buy it and a $25,000 Jeep with 75,000 miles. Ain't going to sell that. So. But I mean, you know, we had a Jeep. I bought a Jeep at an from a dealership the other day and it jumped 4,000 and I thought it was going to lose you don't know. Yes, I take a lot of risks. I'm a gambling man. So all wholesalers are now 8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234. 800, 800 radio. But what I can tell you is we are in a red hot market right now. This is as good as it gets for my business.

[JD]

Is it every spring or just now?

[John Clay Wolf]

Every spring.

[JD]

Because of tax money.

[John Clay Wolf]

Tax money gets it stimulated, gets everything flowing. Right now we're at the peak of the market. I'm going to offer more for your car. We're starting to come off of it a smidge. Okay. So right now is the time. You know, the next two weeks is our peak.

[Turley]

That's the downhill area.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, we're just starting to come down a notch. One click.

[JD]

But you don't.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's still great. Yeah, but you don't want.

[JD]

But you don't only do this when we're on the radio on Saturdays. You can do it all week.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, we buy 100 cars a week off the radio, away from the. Away from the public, from dealer to dealer.

[JD]

This is just a fun thing we do. This is icing on the cake.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. Give me the. What I would like for it to do is turn into more than icing on the cake so that I don't have to travel so much. For sure.

[JD]

That'd be great.

[John Clay Wolf]

Because I'm sick of traveling.

[Bobbo]

Well, like a little Cool Whip man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Shut up, Bobbo. What?

[JD]

What the hell?

[Turley]

Like the cool.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, what is the Cool Whip man?

[JD]

Icing on the. He was going with icing on the cake.

[Bobbo]

A little caramel drizzle, man.

[JD]

All right.

[Bobbo]

Make a cherry on top.

[JD]

All right. From now on, 11:30, we unplug your mic. That's all.

[John Clay Wolf]

We've got five minutes left. If you want to. For me to buy your car, you need to call now. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Carmax does the same thing. They bid cars left and right and. And they advertise it, but they don't pay as much. Well, I tell people if I don't beat them, if I don't beat the Carmax written offer, I will FedEx you $100 check. I could say dinner at your favorite restaurant or a prepaid gift card at Home Depot. How about cash? How about a hundred dollar check you can put in your bank account? I mean, and I. It happens. There's. Sometimes CarMax hits them at 20 grand. I'm thinking 18. Like, let them have it. I'll gladly send you 100.

[JD]

Walk away. Hands up.

[Turley]

Walk away.

[John Clay Wolf]

But 95% of the time I beat the CarMax offer and it's all fine. So. I mean, we're the. We're the two big buyers in town, and that's what we do. I don't know what else to tell you. We buy cars. I mean, there's not many people that. We have a website. You can go to it and just punch it in there and it's over. And we come to your house and pick it up with a check. It's that easy.

[JD]

And people keep. Keep doing it and keep going. Really? I can't believe it was that easy. Especially it's the first time they've dealt with you. It sounds too good to be true.

[John Clay Wolf]

You need to do a story on us. On your Texas road tripping.

[Turley]

Yeah, why not?

[John Clay Wolf]

Why not? I mean, Texas, you do the bird people. My show, you do the snow cone stand. I mean, why.

[JD]

Don't make it not look like a commercial.

[Turley]

No, it's something unique.

[John Clay Wolf]

But it is for everybody else. It's okay.

[JD]

For everybody else, a snow cone kid was.

[Caller]

Has.

[JD]

Has down syndrome.

[Turley]

Well, how do you know John doesn't.

[JD]

He's the only say I'm an alcoholic.

[Turley]

Hey, no, he's. He's. He's handicapped.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Yeah, he is. I broke my back. I was paralyzed from waist down for a year. I'm a registered paraplegic. Damn it.

[JD]

That is a good story.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're.

[Turley]

You're prejudiced against the hand. J.D.

[John Clay Wolf]

You'Re afraid the program director is going to say something like, I'm giving you something on the side.

[JD]

Probably the fact that I.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's it cost on the side to get it done?

[Bobbo]

We are a broken bunch.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, what have I got to pay you to do a story on this?

[JD]

My God, you don't have to pay me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, that's what all the news people are doing now. They're taking bribes.

[JD]

They are, actually, but.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, absolutely. All those news stories, those guys are paying. Hey, Joe Bob Mortgage is here with us tonight to talk about. Yeah, Joe Bob mortgage paid you 5,000.

[JD]

RV dealership. You see on the news. Dude, that's being paid for, Right? Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Everything's a hustle.

[Turley]

Not everything.

[JD]

I'm still.

[Turley]

Give me the vin.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I mean, that's. That's a hustle. But the show's not. No, the show's just fun.

[Bobbo]

The John Clay Wolf program is brought to you by gimmetheven.com and Black Savvy. The end Tour. Get your tickets [e-mail] and Cool Whip.

[John Clay Wolf]

And Cool Whip and Games, Burgers and Pearl Light. We will see you next Saturday. Thanks, guys.

[Guest]

$16,000, ladies and gentlemen. That wraps this little show up, y'.

[John Clay Wolf]

All move right over. Buy you some Bibles or go back.

[JD]

Down the lane and buy you whatever you want.

[Bobbo]

Sell us your car so easy you can do it in your underwear.