The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #33, Hour 3 (04/02/16)

Date: February 12, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Podcast Description: The John Clay Wolfe Show covers cars, sports, sex, drugs, and rock & roll with irreverent humor, banter, and unique perspectives on pop culture, current events, and offbeat news.

Episode Overview

This lively hour of The John Clay Wolfe Show brings together the show's trademark blend of car talk, wild storytelling, and edgy humor. The crew riffs on everything from unforgettable moments with “Uncle Roy” and car recalls, to dope reports, penile misadventures, and more. Listeners also get automotive market insights and classic tales from Texas life – all with a brash, unfiltered spirit.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Riding with “Uncle Roy” (00:52–03:18)

• The crew reminisces about recording their colleague “Uncle Roy,” who provides uncensored, real-life entertainment while riding around and talking cars.
• The process of editing Roy’s colorful language is compared to "editing a rap reality TV show." (01:50)
• Classic Uncle Roy wisdom: When buying a used car, the priority is not the engine, but the radio and AC:
  • Quote (Roy):
    "A black man...he going to check the radio and ac. If that work, you can sell that mother car...He gonna cut the R of you up, drown the mother out." (02:06)
• The group discusses the authenticity and humor Roy brings when unaware he’s being recorded.

2. Car Talk & Recalls (06:12–07:03)

• Discussion of recent Ford and Lincoln recalls for transit vans and MKC models due to faulty airbags, heaters, and parking brakes.
  • Quote:
    "Back for being so ugly...That’s the one who could catch fire." (06:36)
• Perspective on recalls not affecting very popular models, which minimizes customer disruption.

3. Pop Culture & Sports Radio Banter (04:08–04:28)

• Banter about meeting ESPN’s Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg, the flagship “Mike & Mike” morning hosts.
  • Quote:
    “They’re good sportscasters...A flagship morning show on ESPN Radio.” (04:11–04:14)

4. Police News & April Fools Stories (04:36–05:59)

• The hosts mock a viral police department meme where drug users were encouraged to turn in “Ebola-laced” meth/heroine; a woman reportedly complied.
  • “She lays her drugs out...Here it is. You want to check it?” (05:11)
• John retells how his wife fooled him on April Fools with a photoshopped image of a destroyed TV.
  • Quote:
    “I was so mad...when I got home, I walked back there, and it was fine....She got me.” (05:34–05:59)

5. The Dope Report – ‘Uncle Bobbo’ Style (07:55–10:50)

• Bobbo delivers a comedic, detailed report on the regional cannabis market:
  • Early crops are peaking, low-grade grass is abundant due to warm weather, and prices are listed.
  • Advice for resellers: “Clean up at $100 on the Oz...and when supply tanks, resell for 80% markup.” (08:19–09:09)
  • Synthetic drugs are on the rise as students run out of money: “You’d be amazed what you can stock up on if you buy in quantity.” (09:44)
• Concludes with caution on mixing chemicals and the importance of “stash and store,” signature catchphrases, and a parting shot:
  • Quote:
    “Buy big, sell bigger and keep your vitamin C intake high. You’ll thank me later. This is your Uncle Bobbo. You keep tokin’.” (10:48–10:50)

6. Texas & National Politics (10:50–12:28)

• The hosts briefly discuss the odds of marijuana legalization in Texas and Trump’s ambiguous position:
  • Impersonation: “‘Very soon, very, very soon I’ll be out with an answer...I think it could be huge.’” (11:11)
• Conversation about Trump’s controversial abortion comments and blunders in interviews.
  • Quote (on Trump):
    “He’s the most unpopular politician in like two decades...Why is he winning?” (12:15–12:26)

7. Penile Mishaps & Texas Storytelling (13:09–15:57)

• JD shares bizarre news of a man shot in the testicles by his wife; John follows with an old family story about a neighbor shot in a similar way.
  • Quote:
    “It went in the head of the unit and out the testes...He’s fine and he’s well and they’re all fine friends.” (13:50–14:01)
• The conversation only gets more outrageous, including tales of body image and an acquaintance’s struggles to locate his penis due to weight.

8. More Texas Lore: Shep the Shoeshiner (15:35–16:33)

• John revisits a wild childhood story involving Shep, an African American shoeshiner, who humorously recounted mishaps at the brothel.
  • Quote (Shep):
    “Baby, baby, you ain’t in. You in a wrinkle.” (16:16)

9. Listener Car Appraisal Segment (16:49–18:40)

• Caller “Tahoe Johnny” seeks a bid on his 2008 Tahoe; John explains the Texas market's disregard for 4x4 features in SUVs.
  • Quote:
    “In Texas it doesn’t make a damn difference...I like in a truck, yes. In an SUV, no.” (17:35)
• The segment showcases the show’s core car-buying expertise and plug for GiveMeTheVIN.com.

10. Market Expansion & Texas Road Stories (18:41–20:48)

• Discussion of the show’s expansion to San Antonio and various markets, with playful rivalry between Austin and San Antonio.
• Bobbo recounts his solo trip to Austin for the Eagles concert, hostel stay, and the Texas Chili Parlor.
  • Quote:
    “I was the oldest guy there, man. Shared a room with three college dudes...went to the Texas Chili Parlor where Stuntman Mike ate his nachos, sat there and Death Proof, man.” (19:57–20:15)

11. Show Wrap-up & Weather (20:48–21:34)

• Susie Snapper, a recurring character, gives listeners a cheeky weather report:
  • Quote:
    “It’s great weather for screwing, I’ll tell you that...Find your old man, get some Shiner Bock and get it on.” (21:15–21:27)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Uncle Roy on Used Cars: “You can sell a black man anything if it's a good system in it…if the air working and the goddamn radio work.” (02:06)
• On Car Recalls: “They’re calling it back for being so ugly...” (06:36)
• Bobbo’s Dope Report: “Buy big, sell bigger and keep your vitamin C intake high.” (10:49)
• John on April Fools: “She took a Photoshopped [picture]...she got me.” (05:53)
• JD’s Testicle Shot Story: “She got started waving the gun at him...it travels up his leg and lodges in his testicle.” (13:32)
• Shep’s Brothel Tale: “Baby, baby, you ain't in. You in a wrinkle.” (16:16)
• Susie Snapper’s Weather: “It’s great weather for screwing, I’ll tell you that.” (21:16)

Key Timestamps

• Uncle Roy Car Wisdom: 01:59–03:18
• Ford + Lincoln Recall News: 06:12–07:03
• Dope Report: 07:55–10:50
• Trump's Drug Policy/Politics: 10:50–12:28
• Penile Mishaps: 13:09–15:57
• Shep’s Brothel Story: 15:35–16:33
• Car Appraisal Segment: 16:49–18:40
• Austin Concert Story: 19:41–20:48
• Weather Wrap-Up: 21:10–21:27

Tone

The episode is irreverent, outrageous, and laced with gallows humor and regional Texas flavor. The crew talk over each other, riffing quickly and dropping one-liners, yet maintain camaraderie and an insider’s wink for regular listeners. The tone, as always, is loose, sometimes raunchy, and makes no apologies for crossing lines.

Final Take

Hour 3 of The John Clay Wolfe Show epitomizes its signature blend of hilarious storytelling, car market expertise, and off-the-rails banter. From vintage road stories and marketplace tips to outright obscene yarns, it’s a freewheeling tribute to Texas tall-tales and American car culture, best enjoyed with an open mind and a thick skin.