The John Clay Wolfe Show — Episode #34 (04/09/16, Hour 1)

Airing Date: February 12, 2026
Podcast Theme: Unfiltered, irreverent takes on cars, sports, music, pop culture, and the car business — punctuated by wild cast chemistry and a heavy dose of comedy.

Overview

Hour 1 of The John Clay Wolfe Show kicks off with a riotous blend of automotive talk, stories from the hosts’ lives, live car buying on-air, and comedic sketches riffing on everything from FCC-safe sex jokes to the tragicomic elements of classic rock and country. The crew returns triumphantly to Dallas's "The Eagle" after a sabbatical, fielding enthusiastic calls from fans and eager vehicle sellers, and unveiling high-energy gags involving celebrity impersonations and absurd hypothetical albums ("Axl Rose Sings Merle Haggard"). Central throughout: John’s sharp, rapid-fire wit, and the hilarious rapport with regulars Bobbo, JD Ryan, Turley, and Maria Estella Garza.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Show Return, Weather Gags, and What's New (00:27–04:49)

• The hosts welcome listeners and riff on being on time, the quirks of rejoining "The Eagle," and “Merl week” (a Merle Haggard tribute).
• Susie Snapper’s “salty” weather update leads to winking jokes about Galveston trips, DJ retirements, and sexual innuendo.
• Debut of "Bobbo’s new toy" (sound effects/voice modulator), resulting in a running Darth Vader parody that returns throughout the show.

  "Tell me about it. Are you really my daddy?"
  — John Clay Wolfe [03:28]

2. Tech Talk & Show Bits ("Riding with Roy" and the Big Black Roy Button) (05:06–07:23)

• Turley and Bobbo demonstrate engineering prowess and launch into upcoming show bits, including the return of "Riding with Roy," a segment on car buying and speeding tickets with hilarious stories and characters.
• Introduction of a "Big Black Roy" soundboard persona for comedic counterpoint.

3. Car Buying Returns to the Airwaves (07:24–13:24)

• John reflects on the show’s 3-year leave from "The Eagle," listener reactions, and nostalgia for legendary Dallas radio figures like Moby.
• The hosts lampoon hundred-thousand-dollar Hyundais:

  "If you buy one, you’re an idiot."
  — John Clay Wolfe [14:00]

• Discussion on dealership practices, ballooning up cars for sales, and party plans with top finance executives, exposing the blend of “yahoo” roots and big-league success.

4. On-Air Car Offers — Listeners Call In (16:51–30:01)

• Daniel calls about a 2015 Hyundai Sonata; John makes him a live offer, imaging playful banter about “$12,000 Hyundais” versus luxury models.
• Khalid calls in with a 2011 F150 Raptor and negotiates with John—lively back-and-forth, “meeting in the middle” as an inside joke.
• The process and importance of car condition and Carfax reports are woven into the negotiation, providing informative content for listeners about how GiveMeTheVIN.com works.

5. Guns N' Roses & Merle Haggard: Music News, Gags, and Bit Prep Failure (37:22–45:44)

• Discussions about the upcoming Guns N' Roses tour and Axl Rose’s supposed new album.
• Comedic confusion as the crew flubs the setup for their planned “Axl Rose sings Merle Haggard” bit, leading to John’s mock-exasperation:

  "I set you up so perfect for this transition … and you all just look at me like a bunch of dumbasses."
  — John Clay Wolfe [39:54]

6. "Axl Rose Sings Gospel" Parody Album Premiere (42:49–45:35)

• The team launches their actual bit: A parody infomercial for “Axl Rose Sings Gospel Hymns” (e.g. “Take Me Down to Nazareth City”).
• Over-the-top impressions and twisted lyrics delight the cast and listeners.

  “Take me down to Jerusalem City where the ground is brown, the girls are covered — I want to see my Lord, give me $20.”
  — Maria Estella Garza (as Axl Rose) [45:02]

7. More Live Car Deals & Automotive Banter (46:15–59:52)

• Multiple live car appraisals: 2013 Lincoln MKX, 2004 Silverado, Porsche GT2, classic muscle cars.
• Listeners and John banter on pricing and vehicle stats, with sage advice for sellers.
• JD and John share stories about escaping speeding tickets using radio credentials.
• Jokes about the “retail end tuning in” on busy Saturdays and car dealer archetypes (balloon tying, dancing air guy, etc.)

8. Syndication, Listener Engagement, and Closing Banter (29:29–59:52)

• Announcement of new syndication affiliates—shout-outs to Houston, Louisiana, "The Bear" in Wichita Falls, and Abilene.
• Bobbo and John reminisce on classic radio station playlists and their roots in Texas and Oklahoma.
• Absurdist, “off-the-wall” humor erupts about tax season and cheating, SMU sorority scandals (“dancing in their bras and panties”), and a spoofed news report about cannabis users and life outcomes.
• Touching reflections on Merle Haggard’s death, authenticity in country music, and the loss of "the last real ones."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On returning to Dallas radio:

  “We took about a three year sabbatical.”
  — John Clay Wolfe [07:23]

• On expensive cars and values:

  “Hundred thousand dollar Hyundais are the worst investment on demand.”
  — John Clay Wolfe [14:15]

• On listeners rediscovering the show:

  “There’ll be people a year from now going, hey, y' all are back on the radio!”
  — JD Ryan [08:02]

• Absurd commercial parody:

  "K-T Records is proud to present ... Take Me Down to Nazareth City."
  — Bobbo (as infomercial host) [42:57]

• On car negotiation:

  “If we met in the middle… In the middle, do we have a deal?”
  — John Clay Wolfe [24:21]

• On losing Merle Haggard:

  “Now we only really have Willie.”
  — Bobbo [64:06]

• Riffing on classic rock:

  "The only difference is Slash is playing the guitar. Who gives a… Nah, Slash is good, man. But is he 50,000 more seats good?”
  — John Clay Wolfe [37:52]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Show return, weather & opening bits: 00:27–04:49
• Tech update & "Riding with Roy" tease: 05:06–07:23
• Live car buying, Hyundais, dealership stories: 07:24–15:09
• Listener calls, car deals: 16:51–30:01
• Guns N’ Roses/Merle Haggard/bit confusion: 37:22–41:12
• Axl Rose sings gospel parody: 42:49–45:35
• Car negotiation masterclass (“meet in the middle”): 24:21–25:39
• Merle Haggard memorial, country roots, celebrity loss: 38:31–54:54
• Sorority scandal, tax time, cannabis users study: 65:01–68:07
• Ending radio industry stories, syndication announcement: 29:29–34:20

Tone & Style

The show features sharp, rapid-fire humor, inside jokes, improv banter, and authentic Texas radio camaraderie. John leads with sarcasm, candor, and deep knowledge of the car business. The tone is edgy, sometimes crass, but always high-energy, engaging, and FCC-flirting.

For New Listeners

This episode packs everything The John Clay Wolfe Show is known for: outlandish sketches, knowledgeable (if unfiltered) advice on cars and life, war stories from radio’s glory days, and the comedic grindhouse of its deeply Texan cast. It’s as much a car-buying class as a variety sketch show—unmissable if you love wild, anything-goes radio. For auto sellers, it also gives a clear, behind-the-scenes look at live, real-world car buying from the “Wolf” himself.

Listen for:

• Parody albums and hilarious musical impressions
• Dealership insider wisdom and “what your car’s really worth” negotiations
• Callers from across Texas and the South, live on-air deals negotiated in real time
• Uncensored radio camaraderie and running gags, not found anywhere else

End of Hour 1 summary — The John Clay Wolfe Show, #34