#46 John Clay Wolfe Show 5-7-16

Summary

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The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #46 (5-7-16): Mother’s Day, Wild Stories, and Car Talk

Podcast: The John Clay Wolfe Show
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Air Date: February 12, 2026
Episode Number: 46
Description: A rollicking, freewheeling episode packed with car buying advice, wild reminiscences, off-color humor, and the show's signature blend of automotive expertise and unruly storytelling. Mother’s Day, classic rock, crazy family tales and more.

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Main Theme/Purpose

This episode captures the raucous spirit of The John Clay Wolfe Show, blending laugh-out-loud stories, irreverent exchanges, and behind-the-scenes looks at car buying and family life. The hosts riff on Mother’s Day, discuss car-market trends and funny dealership encounters, swap outrageous childhood confessions, and mock both rock stars and politicians. The show is a mix of comedy, genuine car-selling tips, and classic “morning zoo” radio chaos, delivered with the candid, sometimes off-color camaraderie of old friends.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening and Mother’s Day Antics (00:01–12:00)

• The show launches with banter among John, JD Ryan, Bobbo, and the crew, joking about staying late, parental responsibility, and sharing stories about smoking and parenting.

• Early on, the hosts riff about the sorts of gifts NOT to get for Mother’s Day, poking fun at bad choices like vacuums and rocks, leaning into a running gag about “spending time” versus “reminding her of chores.”

  • Quote: “Give her the old one-two. Sage.” – John Clay Wolfe (07:35)

• John tells stories about dysfunctional families (“My friend’s ex-wife...”) and “awkward” gift exchanges.

2. Family & Marriage Tales: Marriage, Staying, and Sibling Rivalry (10:15–15:00)

• The crew compares notes on how many times they’ve been married or “staying,” turning the conversation to the difference between living together and being married, with much self-deprecating humor.

  • Quote: “Before we were getting married… at her family Christmas… she busts out in tears […] When it goes from pearls to pots and pans, it has changed forever.” – John Clay Wolfe (08:44)

• Bobbo describes himself as a “serial monogamist” (10:18).

• A discussion about what it means to “stay” with someone, peppered with jokes and observations about relationships and the car business.

3. Celebrity, Music, and Pop Culture: (22:40–26:35)

• Announcements about Joe Walsh and Bad Company touring Dallas launch a sidebar about seeing classic rockers “before they die.”
• Discussion about Joe Walsh refusing to play an event that became a Republican convention fundraiser, and his political statement about “vitriol and bullying.”
  • Quote: “I’m very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaign.” – Bobbo (quoting Joe Walsh) (25:04)
• The hosts lampoon other classic musicians, comparing Keith Richards to Mussolini (23:42), and mock both politics and rock star egos.

4. Hot Topics: Johnny Manziel, Statutory Law, and Celebrity Scandals (17:15–28:04)

• Breaking news update on Johnny Manziel’s legal troubles and the hosts’ opinions on self-destruction in sports (“He’s the Robert Downey Jr. of sports, drugs, and alcohol.” – JD Ryan, 18:54).

• Discussion leads into age of consent laws in Texas, the foibles of youth, and the pitfalls of fame.

  • Quote: “If he’s 19 and she’s 17, is that statutory?” – John Clay Wolfe (20:54)
  • Bobbo: “Technically, yes, it’s statutory, but it really depends on her daddy.” (21:10)

• Reports on the aftermath of Prince’s death ("Time to get up, Prince Nelson, get off the elevator!” – John, 27:17) and opiate issues.

5. Show Features: Car Buying Q&A, Technical Woes, Office Moves (31:08–41:14)

• The crew discusses moving into new offices and the chaos of getting phones set up (“I told Turley not to pay the phone guy…” – John, 29:24).

• Technical troubleshooting interspersed with jabs at home phones versus cell phones (“A phone in your home is like having water, right?” – John, 30:20).

• Car Market Corner: John explains the business model: “Sell us your car – so easy you can do it in your underwear.” (31:42)

  • Offers a $100 bounty if they can’t beat a CarMax offer, details logistics for both sellers and dealers.

6. Politics & Parody: The “Black Trump” Rap and More (33:14–36:46)

• Turley presents the viral “Black Trump” rap remix from The Daily Show, featuring Trump’s soundbites put to a hip-hop beat.
  • Memorable Quote: “I have black guys counting my money… Nobody has more respect for women… Build the wall!” – Trump rap (34:00)
  • The crew gleefully comments on the absurdity of campaign season.

7. Listener Cars & Car Bidding: Real-Time Appraisals (36:09–41:00, Throughout)

• Callers pitch their used vehicles for bids live on-air, with John and crew shooting from the hip with rapid-fire price quotes, questions about condition, and negotiation banter.
• Example: A Cadillac Escalade caller gets an offer $300 above CarMax, leading to a deal (36:22).
  • “I advertise I’ll beat CarMax or I’ll give a hundred dollars.” – John (37:01)

8. Ethnic Stereotypes & Accidental Racism (Tongue-in-Cheek): Cinco de Mayo & “Tyrone” (38:43–44:30)

• Joking observations about who actually celebrates Cinco de Mayo in Texas, with playful jabs at Black, Mexican, and White stereotypes via the “Tyrone” character.
  • Quote: “All the brothers, they were sucking on them red drinks… at On the Border, on Cinco de Mayo!” – John (39:19)
• Light-hearted mockery of cross-cultural confusion about holiday celebrations and favorite drinks.

9. Family Dynamics: Sibling Rivalry and Parental Tales (46:09–51:08)

• John and co-hosts relive stories of sibling rivalry and unfair family dynamics (“Why do you get the new house?” – John’s brother, 47:51), tales of jealous brothers and the pitfalls of being the youngest.
  • JD: “That’s my favorite line of the day. ‘I’m going to build a new house. – Why do you get the new house?’” (51:00)

10. “Biggest Lie You Ever Told Your Mom” – Listener Calls (53:15–90:36, with breaks)

• In celebration of Mother’s Day, the show revolves through candid, confessional (and comedic) stories of lying to moms during childhood or adolescence.
  • Memorable: One caller left a fake note to hide wrecking his mom’s car (53:39), another admits lying to his mom about military deployment to keep her from worrying (56:21).
  • John finally tells his own “biggest lie:” prank calling a neighbor’s answering machine claiming to have slept with their wife at age seven, getting caught on tape. (82:06–84:21)
• Frequent comic interruptions from “Lucy,” a recurring character, further derail the stories.

11. Dealer Tales, Car Business Breakdown, and Car Market Trends (98:03–109:12)

• John walks through his business evolution, the purpose of GiveMeTheVIN.com, and how the car-buying experience has (and hasn’t) changed for the public.
  • “I make about $300 a car… That’s my business.” (100:53)
  • Explains the pain points of car sellers, CarMax, and dealer tactics—and how the show tries to make selling easier and more transparent.
• More live offers and negotiations with listeners, including reminders to take good photos of your car for the website.

12. New Cars, Reviews, and Volkswagen Woes (143:09–153:17)

• Comedic “Ride of the Week” segment reviewing a 2017 Kia Sportage, with banter about pricing and features.
• John laments his troubles with used Volkswagens — notorious money pits for dealers.
  • “If I took all my career and took VW out… I think I’d be in the red.” (150:45)
  • Details one particular Beetle convertible that cost thousands more in repairs than they ever hoped to make selling it (“We sold this car like 15 times, kept getting arbitration… I finally sold it on a red light and damn near busted out of it.” – 152:02)

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• On bad Mother’s Day gifts:
  “Give her the old one-two. Sage.” – John Clay Wolfe (07:35)
• On family transitions:
  “When it goes from pearls to pots and pans, it has changed forever.” – John Clay Wolfe (08:44)
• On political absurdity (by proxy):
  “I’m very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaign.” — Joe Walsh via Bobbo (25:04)
• On statutory law:
  “Technically, yes, it’s statutory, but it really depends on her daddy.” – Bobbo (21:10)
• On car selling:
  “Sell us your car – so easy you can do it in your underwear.” – John Clay Wolfe (31:42)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Mother’s Day & Gag Gifts: 05:50–08:37
• Johnny Manziel, Celebrity Meltdowns: 17:19–21:32
• Car Business Model Explained: 98:03–102:40
• Call-in “Biggest Lie to Your Mom” Stories: 53:15–90:36 (Interspersed)
• Daily Show “Black Trump” Parody Segment: 33:14–36:46
• Classic Rock, Joe Walsh, Politics: 22:40–26:35
• Volkswagen Dealer Lament: 150:45–152:51
• Kia Sportage Review: 143:09–145:46

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Show Tone & Style

The tone throughout is rambunctious, unscripted and irreverent — a mix of blue-collar wisecracking, wild storytelling, and automotive expertise. The hosts trade friendly insults and create characters (e.g., “Lucy,” “Tyrone”) to play with stereotypes and poke fun at themselves and the world around them. Car business advice is delivered with candor and a refreshing lack of pretense, leavened by frequent jokes about drinking, drugs, and family dysfunction. Segments are loosely structured, often interrupted or thrown off course in favor of an extra laugh or a live listener call.

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For First-Time Listeners

• Expect a comedy approach to everything from classic cars to childhood confessions.
• “Car Talk” is genuine but always served with a side of mockery.
• The show centers on the hosts’ personalities and their chemistry, with frequent call-ins from both real listeners and “in-show” characters.
• If you’re easily offended—by language, irreverence, or wild off-topic digressions—this probably isn’t your scene.
• For car sellers: GiveMeTheVIN.com is celebrated as a straightforward way to get a solid offer on your used vehicle, pitched repeatedly in the spirit of a morning radio ad, but with real expertise behind it.

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Episode Highlights

• Relatable, riotous stories about screwing up as a kid—and parental reactions.
• Unfiltered advice on the best (and worst) ways to celebrate Mother’s Day.
• Candid breakdown of the selling-car-to-a-dealer process, with insider tips and cautionary tales.
• Bizarre, hilarious riffs on rock stardom, music, and what passes for political sanity in America.
• The “Black Trump” hip-hop satire montage.
• “Ask the Car Dealer” call-in moments: live, real-time appraisals and tense/funny negotiations.
• Running gags about family, drinking, car business headaches, and call-in chaos (“no soup for you!”).

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Listen For…

• Uncensored, honest laughs about selling your car—or your soul.
• Moments where a heartfelt or hilarious listener story takes center stage.
• The hosts’ dynamic, which teeters between the wisdom of lived experience and gleeful middle-aged misbehavior.
• Classic rock nostalgia and lampooning, with real affection and genuine musical knowledge.

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Bottom Line:
This episode is a madcap blend of drinking stories, family confessions, political zingers, car-selling wisdom, and vintage morning radio chaos—pulled together by John’s crusty humor and mangled Texas accent. If you want automotive knowledge or just want to laugh at stories about “the biggest lie I ever told my mom,” you’re in the right place.

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Transcript

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, hey, hey. Name that tune, Baba. Good morning, everyone. Dallas, we're staying till 11 today. In the next week. Houston, good morning.

[JD Ryan]

Sounds like a threat. We're staying.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're staying.

[Bobbo]

Now, did you ask your friend's parents about that?

[John Clay Wolf]

John, I'm your drunk uncle and I'm not going home till 11.

[Bobbo]

Did they say it's okay if you can stay?

[John Clay Wolf]

They said I could stay.

[Bobbo]

Did you bring clean socks?

[John Clay Wolf]

I did.

[Bobbo]

All right, see you tomorrow.

[John Clay Wolf]

I did. I did bring clean socks.

[JD Ryan]

Born in.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is that what it takes? Clean socks?

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

You are just the staple of a fine parent.

[Bobbo]

I'm a great single dad.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have you ever gotten stoned with your kid yet?

[Bobbo]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

God, no.

[Bobbo]

That's not going to happen either.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ever? No.

[Bobbo]

I always hated those kids.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, the ones that smoked with their parents.

[Bobbo]

Yeah. That's very uncomfortable. You know, I mean, it's just like the guy that brings his old lady to the strip bar. You're like, yeah, come on.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, could you come up with somebody else? Cool dude. My buddy, his parents smoked in high school.

[Bobbo]

Jimbo, man. Jimbo.

[John Clay Wolf]

We would see Jimbo, he had his grow room off the garage, man. Had those lights in the closet.

[Bobbo]

Phototron.

[John Clay Wolf]

And every time I think about Jimbo, I think about when Jimbo got a little too much grass, a little bit too much whiskey one evening. Oh dear, here we go. He started dancing around naked, man.

[JD Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

And we were in high school. Jimbo was not in high school. He's about 45.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, geez.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he worked at the railroad for years. But he hurt his back. That cool guy, they kept paying him after he hurt his back.

[JD Ryan]

Awkward.

[John Clay Wolf]

So he's just been chilling. But there was a. I've got it. You know, like the Kramer photo in Seinfeld. The painting portrait.

[Bobbo]

You bet.

[John Clay Wolf]

The Jimbo I have in my mind is him passed out on the bathroom floor, fully nude. Nude. Not naked, but nude. And his. Can you say testes?

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

His testes hanging out behind his thighs. Lovely. Like from the backside. That was the back shot.

[JD Ryan]

Great visual.

[John Clay Wolf]

Jimbo was a little stoned that evening.

[Bobbo]

Here's the thing about.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was so stoned his testes were elongated.

[Bobbo]

Because Jimbo probably is proud of that shot.

[Tyrone]

Yeah, he is.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[JD Ryan]

Damn right.

[Bobbo]

Goes back to character type. JD it's just a certain type man. That cool guy. That cool 45 year old guy that's hanging out with all the 17.

[JD Ryan]

I'm going to go ahead and call that the bisexual guy because he's not. You're naked in front of other gates.

[John Clay Wolf]

Jimbo was just baked. I remember one time when he finally got a settlement with the railroad. Everybody got a new car and everybody got a new stereo system. Wow.

[Bobbo]

Taking care of the entourage.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mama got a new Lincoln LSC 5 liters.

[JD Ryan]

Settlement.

[John Clay Wolf]

And dad got a. He bought a new truck and he got drunk and we were at home at Sullen's house. And Jimbo came up just all in the middle of afternoon. Slammed on the brakes of this truck. Them Indians. Them Indians. They're coming to get me. Them dumb bitching Indians almost killed me. And so as I went and looked around in the rubber that his dad was laying down.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

All over town. It was weird. So I don't know what he was on. What's that? What makes you hallucinate Indians, Bob?

[Bobbo]

Peyote will certainly make you see Native American spirits. Maybe certain kinds of shrooms.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

Or good old blood.

[John Clay Wolf]

Or acid.

[Bobbo]

That's what I heard.

[John Clay Wolf]

It could have been acid. I'm gonna go with acid.

[Bobbo]

That's a friend of mine.

[John Clay Wolf]

This was in 1980 and 8 when them Indians were coming to get him.

[JD Ryan]

God.

[John Clay Wolf]

After the big settlement.

[JD Ryan]

Maybe he's just crazy.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, he was assisted. He was assisted. He was on something crazy. He was on something.

[JD Ryan]

I know some girls.

[Bobbo]

Isn't that a. What a success story. He gets his settlement from the railroad and he moves immediately from grass. Probably Mexican regular old dirt weed, to really good grass. He's got some Hawaiian that's gone. Guess what? Just can't get high enough, man. Jim Morrison syndrome. Just can't get high enough. Hey, man, you know where to get me some acid, man? Come on.

[JD Ryan]

$8 a hit.

[Bobbo]

Give me 40.

[John Clay Wolf]

His buddy gave his wife. Like he came over to get a J from Jimbo, his buddy out of his.

[JD Ryan]

Jimbo's wife.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, let me start over. Jimbo's buddy needed to get his wife a Christmas gift. Maybe it's a Mother's Day. So they went and got some cards. And Jimbo was like, here's this joint of this Maui Wowie that I'm growing in my grow room. Put that in there.

[Bobbo]

That's sweet.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's one way to say you love her.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

But he and Jimbo took a little hit on it. So she did get a half smoke joint and a Hallmark card.

[JD Ryan]

God.

[John Clay Wolf]

For Mother's Day.

[JD Ryan]

Mother's Day.

[John Clay Wolf]

But I mean, I haven't gotten my wife anything for Mother's Day yet. What have you gotten?

[JD Ryan]

I have a story she might appreciate.

[John Clay Wolf]

A smash. Smash hoax. A smash hoked joint. A half smoked joint.

[JD Ryan]

Your Wife.

[John Clay Wolf]

A smash hoax joint. Yeah, in a greeting card for Mother's Day.

[JD Ryan]

Let me. What guess what happened to the other half. You and Babo had it before the show?

[Bobbo]

It would seem so.

[John Clay Wolf]

Smash hoax.

[JD Ryan]

No, no, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio is the call in number.

[JD Ryan]

It is Mother's Day weekend, so we do have some stuff on Mother's Day. Things to do and not to do.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you've got a Smurf hooked joint.

[JD Ryan]

Yes, do that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Call in and give it to me.

[JD Ryan]

John needs the other half.

[Bobbo]

And just get down next to the speaker and give John a big old shotgun.

[JD Ryan]

So you haven't gotten any shotgun. Anything from your wife? Nothing. Nothing, John.

[John Clay Wolf]

Not yet.

[JD Ryan]

Well, don't give her things to remind her of everyday chores. This is a magazine.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, it's funny you said that cuz I have something chosen that I took a photo of a screenshot on my iPhone.

[JD Ryan]

That you're going to buy her?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yep.

[JD Ryan]

But this is a reminder of chores. This vacuums, you know, blenders.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's in that vein of thought.

[JD Ryan]

Well, don't. This is a. Don't do that. Why do give her the gift of time. Spend time with her. Do something fun with her.

[John Clay Wolf]

This year I'm going home after the show. I'm asleep.

[JD Ryan]

That's not time with her. And they say also don't buy flowers online the week of Mother's Day. Don't blame online. Go to. Go to a Flores. Spend the extra 100 bucks. Go get them. Go get them in a florist. Here's a recent survey. This is funny. Of things that are laughably bad gifts. Deodorants, fire extinguishers, a can of paint, cleaning supplies. And a rock. Just a rock.

[Bobbo]

What kind of rock?

[JD Ryan]

Well, it's the rock that rocks. I don't know. Nice.

[Bobbo]

Step one.

[John Clay Wolf]

The eagle, man. The eagle. The rock that rocks.

[Bobbo]

This course of the John Clay Wolf program. Brought to you by 1800flowers.com so what.

[JD Ryan]

Are you giving her? That's along the lines of what are you giving her?

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna give her the old one too, man.

[JD Ryan]

The majestic meat. You're right. You're right. It does remind her of daily chores.

[Bobbo]

I'm gonna give her some time with a majestic meat bone.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give her the old one too. Sage.

[Bobbo]

Hello, darling. Daddy's home.

[JD Ryan]

Tie a little bow around it. Happy Mother's Day.

[Bobbo]

Unwrap this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Got a pee hard.

[JD Ryan]

It's. It's the same thing we got for Father's Day.

[Bobbo]

Me and my piece of old wooden.

[JD Ryan]

Killing me, dude.

[Bobbo]

Not nice.

[JD Ryan]

So you're not going to tell us? Is she listening?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I'm sure she is.

[Bobbo]

I'll bet it's that Dyson, that fam. That fancy Dyson vacuum. Fancy vacuum it is with a nine foot neck.

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll never forget when I was getting married to my first. You know, I signed a contract saying that I wouldn't talk about my ex wife on the radio. Oh, yeah. So how can I talk about it?

[JD Ryan]

You can't.

[Turley]

It was your friend's ex wife.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll never forget the first time that My friend's ex wife.

[Tyrone]

Yes. Perfect.

[JD Ryan]

And that's the way it'll be written. Court.

[Bobbo]

Allegedly.

[John Clay Wolf]

Before we were getting married like that Christmas, I think we're getting married in March, so. At her family Christmas.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

She's unwrapping her gifts from her family members, right? Uncles, aunts, all, you know, pot, pot, pan, pan, spoon, spoon.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Busts out in tears.

[Guest Rapper]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

Get your ass in the kitchen. Start crying. Started crying because she knew at that point that she was done, you know?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

When it goes from pearls to pots and pans. To pots and pans, it has changed, brother.

[JD Ryan]

It has changed forever.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's so funny thinking about that. My friend's ex wife.

[Turley]

What a.

[Lucy]

That's kind of fun.

[JD Ryan]

And we can sort of say anything as long as it's your friend's ex wife.

[John Clay Wolf]

My friend's ex wife was a real pain in the ass. Real pain in the ass.

[Bobbo]

That's too bad. It doesn't have to be that way. No. Who's the famous fishing guy?

[John Clay Wolf]

You think you could find a friend with a different ex wife, but you just came up with this friend with this ex wife.

[JD Ryan]

This particular ex wife. Yes. What was the deal, Baba?

[Bobbo]

Who's that famous fishing guy?

[John Clay Wolf]

Bill Dance.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[Bobbo]

He once said one of the smartest things about marriage. You know, love is blind. Yeah, but marriage is a real eye opener.

[John Clay Wolf]

How many times have you been married, Bob?

[Bobbo]

Married officially by a judge with vows?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. How many times you've been staying, like for. For reals?

[Bobbo]

Oh, you know, five.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you.

[Bobbo]

Five and a half.

[John Clay Wolf]

To listeners out there taking Uncle Bobbo's advice, do you promote staying or marrying?

[Bobbo]

Oh, yeah. I'm a serial monogamist for sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bob, how many times you've been married?

[JD Ryan]

My name is jd.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hi, jd. Good morning, JD Ryan, everybody here. It's good to see JD you look.

[JD Ryan]

Right at me and went, hey, Bob. I don't know, Fred. How many times have you been married?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, My. My buddy was married to this ex old lady once.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And then I've been married for real once.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, I understand where you're going. I've been married one time and I've been divorced, happily divorced. Now, let me do the math. 24 years.

[John Clay Wolf]

How many times have you been staying?

[JD Ryan]

Oh. Oh, that's a lot.

[John Clay Wolf]

Staying is clothes in the closet.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, okay, okay. Twice.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[JD Ryan]

Including the one now.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's right. You're staying now.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

He's admitting it.

[John Clay Wolf]

He is admitting.

[JD Ryan]

Well, I've already told you that. She's in the house. She's in the house.

[John Clay Wolf]

I told you. I love it. Being in the car business over the years and listening to the stories. Could I get your address? Well. Well, I mean.

[Bobbo]

Exactly.

[John Clay Wolf]

The bank is gonna need this. Do you have a copy of your Electric Bill? Well, I mean, I've been staying with my girl.

[Bobbo]

This is different, though, J.D.

[John Clay Wolf]

But as soon as I get my settlement on that case, I'm gone. I'm getting my own place. And I ain't staying with her ass no more, so don't tell her that. But, yeah, here's her electric bill. Shawanda, I need a copy of Electric Bill. I ain't calling. They ain't calling. I know we paid it. I just need a copy.

[Tyrone]

And over.

[JD Ryan]

Susan or Beth. What was your point?

[Tyrone]

Bobby, girl, you gonna get me my bag?

[JD Ryan]

Oh, no.

[Tyrone]

Before I tell you two times again.

[JD Ryan]

Do we do this really?

[Turley]

Tyrone, you.

[Lucy]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

You know I love you.

[JD Ryan]

Is this appropriate?

[John Clay Wolf]

We're on a new clock this morning. Is that. And I'm kind of sounding weird, I know. Is that 45, like the hard, hard out or the hard out before the two?

[Turley]

Yes, the hard out before the two.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[JD Ryan]

The hell are y' all talking?

[John Clay Wolf]

It's complicated. Don't worry about it. Don't. Don't you worry your pretty little head.

[Turley]

30 seconds to the two.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, screw the two. They can take the two and they can shove the two.

[JD Ryan]

John, you seem to be in a very good mood.

[John Clay Wolf]

I am in a good mood, cuz I drank alcohol last night. I'm a little hungry.

[JD Ryan]

I was just waiting for you.

[Bobbo]

So if JD Shacks up, what are the other Presbyterians gonna say?

[JD Ryan]

I'm not a Presbyterian.

[Bobbo]

You're not?

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Enjoy me now while you have me. Still high off booze? Yeah, you are, because I will fault her about 10:45.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. Hey, by the way. Yeah? Tune back in about 10:45. Hear John pulling himself out of the Mu.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right. Somebody get us some chains and one of them big Old floor jacks. We gotta get this boy up on his ass.

[JD Ryan]

I'd love to do. I wish I had a blood alcohol content thing right now.

[John Clay Wolf]

I would score just lightly, lightly. Just perfectly, perfectly. I'm a. Yeah, I'll just be right on.

[Bobbo]

On the WKRP scale.

[JD Ryan]

We did that on the radio once back when I was drinking rather heavily. Jokingly they said hey, you want to once you test your bac right now, dude, it's been since last night. There won't be any problem. I blew a 0.09.

[John Clay Wolf]

Nice. Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Really at 3 o' clock the next.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's the law these days?

[JD Ryan]

0.08.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'd like to check it. I'd like to check it.

[JD Ryan]

Well, if we have any.

[John Clay Wolf]

Speaking of, I need a driver tonight, boss. Can Danny do it? We'll talk about in a minute.

[Bobbo]

0.09 is like a four beer high, buddy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mun's got a parking still illegal. I've got to go into commercial break mode right now.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[Turley]

No, we gotta go to break now.

[John Clay Wolf]

Wait, I got 50 seconds to do it. To do a live read, right?

[Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Don't tell me. I. I know as I'm doing.

[JD Ryan]

See, I knew something.

[Turley]

All right.

[John Clay Wolf]

The John Clay Wolf show is brought to you by givemetheven.com don't know what a VIN is? Sell us your car. That's what we do. Givemetheven.com Drop the VIN in and if you don't know what a VIN is and you're so stupid that your car is a piece of junk and we don't want it. But if you do know what the VIN is, put the 17 digits in the magic box that give me the vin and within 15 minutes you'll have an offer letter just like Carmax and they'll come pick it up right there with a check. You can call in the show during the all morning this morning and we will bid your car online too over the air. 800, 800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. Go to givemethevend.com be right back. Be here all morning long. Good morning Houston.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call them toll free. 1, 800800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf show.

[John Clay Wolf]

And that is Jerry Rohira announcing a Jerry.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, he's the man.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, now that we're on the buzz, the imaging for the Buzz in Houston.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, that's the Buzz is done by.

[John Clay Wolf]

The same dude that images our show.

[JD Ryan]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

It was the Same dude that images the Howard Stern show.

[JD Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And it was just ironic.

[JD Ryan]

And when we say imaging, we're talking about that voice show. The voice guy that comes in.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. He lives in New York. New York City.

[JD Ryan]

We should have gotten Peter Thomas before he died. He just died this week. Peter Thomas is that spooky guy that does all the murder mystery show.

[Bobbo]

He.

[JD Ryan]

This guy could do the weather forecast like Dominique Dun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Along those lines. He just. But he does all the killer.

[John Clay Wolf]

Coming back on this next episode of American Greed.

[JD Ryan]

It was anotherwise normal Tuesday night that, you know, he's like creepy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Her breasts were just too perfect. He couldn't help himself. I don't believe he had to impress her Peter Thomas. So he started stealing. Stealing in line to keep his well endowed grace girlfriend happy.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, there you go.

[John Clay Wolf]

Anyway, next on American Greed.

[JD Ryan]

American Greed tonight on Fox.

[John Clay Wolf]

800-872-Trefo run a TREO.

[JD Ryan]

What do we do on this show?

[John Clay Wolf]

Maybe 800-7234. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Okay. I. We do a show. We've been doing it for 10 years.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

But we also have a button on us where we buy cars.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And if you don't know what I mean, just call in and I'll do a couple. I'll. I'll do my, my trick.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

My dancing elephant trick for you guys on the air. Cadillac Escalade. Common Escalade. Call me on a BMW 7 Series. Call me on a expensive car. Ferraris.

[JD Ryan]

You literally buy them?

[John Clay Wolf]

I literally buy them all the time.

[JD Ryan]

Give you a check.

[John Clay Wolf]

I definitely sound weird in these phones.

[JD Ryan]

But are those new headphones?

[John Clay Wolf]

Maybe. Do I not sound weird to you? No. Okay, good.

[Bobbo]

Send a driver with a check and pick it up at your house.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what we do. And people will start pouring in here in a little bit. It just takes one. It's so weird. Once the phones start, then it just creates this cattle follow one another off cliffs.

[Bobbo]

You guys are prime your pump daddy.

[John Clay Wolf]

So what about Johnny Manziel, man?

[JD Ryan]

Well, he's been. Let's see here. Dallas grand jury has handed down a true bill. The indictment against former Cleveland Brown quarterback Johnny Manziel. Let's see. The indictment on a misdemeanor assault charge is expected to be formally announced this week, which it was basically. They reviewed all the information. They said, yeah, there's enough information to go forward and decide whether you pushed your girlfriend, beat her up in the car at the Zaza Hotel.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, well, he did so he went and checked in and he got his mug shot. His mug shot?

[JD Ryan]

Isn't that great? He was there for, you know, he.

[Bobbo]

Still got that smirk in his mug.

[John Clay Wolf]

What is that?

[JD Ryan]

What's there to smirk about?

[Bobbo]

Dude, I don't know. And I'm so ashamed.

[JD Ryan]

Are you just that stupid that you don't realize what you're in?

[Bobbo]

I tell you something, John, I am. I am so still today. So glass half full on this situation.

[JD Ryan]

Why?

[Bobbo]

I just. I just want him to turn it around, Johnny. I just want him to turn around. It's just like RG3. This is one of the most dynamic quarterback I've ever seen at the college level. RG3. Now look at him. And now RG3's gone to the pros and look what's gone to him. After him. Johnny Manziel, the most dynamic quarterback I've seen at the college level. Especially at A and M. We all love A and M, you know. Unless we don't, right?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, unless you don't.

[Bobbo]

I mean, God almighty. Damn. Did you see the guy play?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, right, right.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was good.

[Bobbo]

And now look.

[JD Ryan]

Man, you know what? Many, many, many more men before him have gone down to drugs and alcohol and getting full of themselves.

[Bobbo]

I know, but I mean, I want him to suck out of it, man.

[JD Ryan]

You want him to be The Robert Downey Jr. Of sports, drugs and alcohol.

[John Clay Wolf]

Fool themselves. What are you talking about?

[JD Ryan]

We just woke John up. Somebody said drugs now called him. John went, yes. I'll take two.

[John Clay Wolf]

What?

[Tyrone]

Drugs.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've got some aspirin in my pocket and some BC powders I got. Man. There's just nothing better than those great big schooners.

[JD Ryan]

Good thing I didn't bring my dog in today. My dog.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on. Bobbo's talking booze. You don't talk booze very well, cuz. You're trying to talk people out of booze. Yes. Bobo likes talking people with and into booze.

[Bobbo]

What did you drink last night?

[John Clay Wolf]

I just had beer. Just good old frozen ass schooner. Like where the tops icing up a little bit.

[Bobbo]

You're drinking American Water beer. Bud Light.

[John Clay Wolf]

American water beer.

[JD Ryan]

Were you at home with your wife?

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I was. It was afternoon. I met a friend and then I went home. I got a driver home.

[JD Ryan]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Bobbo]

And that's smart.

[John Clay Wolf]

There you go. Thanks. Very trying to be smart.

[Bobbo]

Responsible.

[John Clay Wolf]

Isn't that smart?

[JD Ryan]

It's really nice, Mother's Day weekend. You go out and get drunk with a friend and don't go to your wife.

[Bobbo]

That's cool.

[JD Ryan]

What A great guy.

[Bobbo]

See? And there you go. Because if Johnny Manziel had beat a taxi driver.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

This wouldn't be going on.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. It still would be assault now.

[Bobbo]

Yeah. It would be A taxi driver. A mad woman is a total nother deal, man.

[JD Ryan]

I'm with you on that.

[Bobbo]

And I'm not saying it's right and I'm not saying it's cool.

[JD Ryan]

It's not right.

[John Clay Wolf]

I just want him to pull out.

[Bobbo]

Of this deal, man.

[JD Ryan]

That'd be nice. It'd be nice.

[John Clay Wolf]

I want to see how old is this girl?

[Turley]

She's in College, goes to TCU.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobbo]

She's 21 going on 50.

[JD Ryan]

But what does that mean?

[John Clay Wolf]

Has he been nailing her for two years?

[Bobbo]

She's a jaded, jaded, mean spirited girl.

[John Clay Wolf]

If she was in baba, you live in the country, so you know the rules on this. You know, it's like watching the cowboy game. The toes, both toes are in, you know, you're still in bounds.

[Tyrone]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

One toe is out, you're out, out. So if he's 21 and she's 17, is that statutory? Right?

[Bobbo]

J.D.

[JD Ryan]

Texas. Texas. Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. If he's 19 and she's 17, is that Statutory?

[JD Ryan]

You know what?

[Bobbo]

Technically.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, technically, I mean, and that's the question. So is 17 and 18 statutory? Right.

[Bobbo]

Here's a good thing about, about Bob.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm sure you've had to disclose. I'm sure you've been in this predicament.

[Bobbo]

Before because being in the country, here's the thing about that. Wait a minute. Really? I mean, technically, yes, it's statutory, but it really depends on her daddy.

[JD Ryan]

Not legally.

[Bobbo]

No, not legally.

[JD Ryan]

No, not legally.

[Bobbo]

Not legally. But realistically, what you live to see.

[JD Ryan]

The morning depends on her daddy. Yeah, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll get back to statutory rape.

[JD Ryan]

No, we won't.

[John Clay Wolf]

We will. I want to know more. I have more questions and I'm out of time.

[JD Ryan]

The promo next week, this week on the John Clee Wolf Show. We'll get back to statutory rape right after this.

[Bobbo]

On the next episode of the John.

[John Clay Wolf]

Clee Wolf show, give us a call. 800-800-Radio. 800-800-7234. It's about time to start buying some cars. I'm getting warmed up. I got my coffee. I've got my breakfast burrito. I've got my Copenhagen. I'm. I've got all my, my vices. I'm ready to rock.

[Bobbo]

I'm ready to roll.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800 radio year make, model miles. We will come to your House. We will pick up your car. Go to givemetheven.com givemetheven.com so easy. You can do it in your underwear or just call in the show now and I will explain it to the next caller. Be right back. After they sold.

[Announcer]

Now back to the john clay wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1-800-800-rode. This is the john clay wolf show.

[John Clay Wolf]

Joe Walsh and Bad Company are going to be it Starplex in Dallas on Thursday.

[Bobbo]

They're playing a few dates around. They opened the tour Thursday night at Jacka Energy Pavilion in Dallas. Joe Walsh and Bad Company. And this is not the fake Bad Company that's been playing Honky Tonks for the last 10 years. This is actually Simon Kirk and Paul Rogers in the original Bad Company.

[John Clay Wolf]

So they're going to be in Dallas Thursday.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, together.

[John Clay Wolf]

We need to go to that.

[Bobbo]

And so I've been looking.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've never saw the Eagles. And now it fries dead. I'm never gonna see the Eagles.

[Bobbo]

You never saw the Eagles?

[John Clay Wolf]

No. And I love Joe Walsh, so I need to go see him because everybody, I keep saying, I'll do it, I'll do it. And everybody dies. So I need to hurry up. I need to get into Death is Near. Like I need to look at these classic rock artists like they have cancer.

[Bobbo]

You really should.

[John Clay Wolf]

And that you better hurry up there quick because you only got a little.

[Bobbo]

Time left because JD has already dropped the number on fourth. Keith Richards. He's gonna go now.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, he should. My God, he's 109 years old.

[John Clay Wolf]

He should not.

[Bobbo]

Come on, he's genius.

[JD Ryan]

So was Mussolini.

[Bobbo]

You know what your problem is? You can't get no satisfaction.

[JD Ryan]

That's it. Well, you can't always get what I want, but I always to get what I need.

[Bobbo]

So I'm a big Joe Walsh head anyway. For years, right, John? Well, decade. I've seen Joe Walsh counting Eagles concerts probably a dozen times. I mean, I've seen Joe Walsh everywhere. And then again. So I'm looking at his website the other day and I noticed something. And this is dated April 20th, so it's not brand new. You ready for this?

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, Bob. Oh, go ahead.

[Bobbo]

I'm ready for this statement from Joel Walsh.

[JD Ryan]

J.D.

[John Clay Wolf]

Are you ready for this?

[JD Ryan]

I'm sitting down.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, sitting down. Seatbelt on.

[JD Ryan]

Life's been good.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's ready.

[Bobbo]

Joel Wall says, and I quote, it was my understanding that I was playing a concert, which was a nonpartisan event to benefit the families of American Veterans on Sunday, July 17, in Cleveland, the ADMAT I approved said this specifically. Today it was announced that this event is in fact a launch for the Republican National Convention. In addition, my name is to be used to raise sponsorship dollars for convention related purposes. Therefore, I must humbly withdraw my particip participation in this event with apologies to any fans or veterans and their families that I might disappoint and the following.

[JD Ryan]

Lawsuit that he'll lose all kinds of money. Yeah.

[Bobbo]

Breach of contract.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, it is.

[John Clay Wolf]

He goes Democrat.

[Bobbo]

He goes on. I'm very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaign.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did he say that? Are you making that up?

[JD Ryan]

No, he did.

[John Clay Wolf]

He said that.

[Bobbo]

That's a quote.

[JD Ryan]

But he's okay.

[Bobbo]

I mean, he didn't say it like that. He said, he said, I'm very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaign.

[John Clay Wolf]

Man, how you doing?

[JD Ryan]

That's what he said.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what he said.

[JD Ryan]

But am I right with Hillary?

[Bobbo]

He says, I cannot in good conscience endorse the Republican Party in any way. I will look at doing a veteran related benefit concert later this year.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's all good. I mean, the, the, the convention is going to be a waste of time anyway now that everybody's dropped down. I don't know, man. What?

[JD Ryan]

Well, here we go.

[Tyrone]

Okay.

[Bobbo]

All the cruise.

[John Clay Wolf]

All the crews support all the cruise heads, the speed freaks.

[Bobbo]

And I know you've heard this. He didn't. He didn't.

[John Clay Wolf]

I hate.

[Bobbo]

Drop his campaign.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm sorry. If you're listening, he just. I don't trust him. He's a Baptist lawyer. I don't like lawyers. Because they lie so much.

[Bobbo]

Snake oils, everyone.

[JD Ryan]

I just wonder why you personally.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's bad news, okay?

[Bobbo]

But he didn't end his campaign. He just suspended his campaign. He still has those delegates. Technically, Rubio still has his delegates. Technically. If Trump doesn't top that 1237, that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Magic number, you think somebody will show up?

[Bobbo]

Anything can happen.

[John Clay Wolf]

You think there'll be something in the wood pile?

[Bobbo]

Anything can happen.

[JD Ryan]

Well, speaking of dead rock singers, the man who called 911 in Prince death could face criminal prosecution. It all comes down to pills in his backpack. Yeah. Lawyer for Andrew Cornfield, whose dad runs a rehab facility. Basically. He had some opiates in his backpack.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who did?

[JD Ryan]

The guy who called in the. Called 91 1. Who was there when Prince died.

[John Clay Wolf]

He a Prince? He have some opiates?

[JD Ryan]

He had Percocet. He had Percocet.

[John Clay Wolf]

He got some opiates for you.

[JD Ryan]

Percocet in his back.

[John Clay Wolf]

Opiates. O, P, I, T, A, E T S His backpack. Wake up. Prince Nelson Rogers.

[JD Ryan]

So they're within. With no prescription.

[John Clay Wolf]

Time to get up, brother man. Time to get up. Swallow.

[JD Ryan]

Swallow those pills. Princess Rogers and his dad runs a rehab, so they're saying, well, he didn't have a prescription for him, so he may end up in jail. Don't let the elevator break you down.

[John Clay Wolf]

Prince Nelson Rogers. Oh, no. Let's go.

[JD Ryan]

We just came here.

[Guest Rapper]

Oh, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[JD Ryan]

Gather here.

[John Clay Wolf]

Time to go, Prince Nelson. Get off the elevator. Don't let it break it down.

[Bobbo]

You gotta get the butterflies all tied up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Prince. I got more opiates for us both. We're gonna chop them up and snort them. Prince Nelson Rogers. But the generic. I mean, they're not generic. They're organic. Organic opiates.

[Bobbo]

Oh, Prince.

[John Clay Wolf]

Poppy seeds straight out of the field.

[Bobbo]

Prince wasn't on no generic opiates, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

But he was way into clean everything. No fries, no booze, no smoke.

[JD Ryan]

You couldn't even cuss in his house.

[John Clay Wolf]

But you could. You could chop up a line of opiates and heat it on a spoon.

[Turley]

It's from the earth.

[JD Ryan]

Addiction is nothing to laugh at.

[John Clay Wolf]

So are fried potatoes.

[JD Ryan]

Addiction is from the earth.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is from a fat girl.

[Caller]

Horrible.

[JD Ryan]

Addiction is nothing to laugh at.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's 800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. I think our phones are broke.

[Turley]

They're not broke. Just a headset. We'll figure it out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, you gotta call a program now at 800-800-RADIO.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you call, I don't know, she can talk to you because it hadn't.

[Bobbo]

Been working almost 800.

[Turley]

She could put them on hold.

[John Clay Wolf]

Call and try it. Somebody call and try it. Yeah, tell her to put them on hold and I'll grab them. I've seen all these people come in and go away. There's one. Hang on, hang on. You there?

[JD Ryan]

Easy.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's.

[Turley]

That's Brittany right there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, it's green hair.

[Turley]

See, the phones work. It's just got to get the headset.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Did you get the headset fixed?

[Caller]

The.

[John Clay Wolf]

The phone is not working. Okay, so what's the fix?

[Caller]

I have no idea.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, cool.

[Turley]

I got eight minutes.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll be in there. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We. We moved offices this week, and we moved studios. Yeah, we got new station, new studio offices, new phones. And the guy that does the phones was in here late last night rerouting all the phone system. And I told Turley, I told Turley, It's Friday at 6, everybody. Hey, the phone guy's here. Wants to get checked. I'm like, yeah, don't pay him. Why? Because I bet something's broke. Yeah. And I want him to come back when I need him.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Pay him. All but a thousand of it. Oh, he wants all his money now.

[Bobbo]

What is it with phone people today? Look, I've got the same thing, so I paid him.

[John Clay Wolf]

And guess what? We're on the air. New station, new format, new everything. And our phones ain't working.

[Bobbo]

That's how it goes. My ADT security system is not contacting, is not connected with the home base headquarters. Yeah, because of some AT T problem. It worked for four weeks, and now it says fc. Fc. Fc. Which means no, no phone line. Crazy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

Something's going on with phones.

[John Clay Wolf]

Something's going on with phones. Yeah.

[Bobbo]

I think it's nsa.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a home phone?

[JD Ryan]

They're bucking my assay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a home phone, Uncle Bob? Yeah. Do you have a home phone?

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Isn't that weird? I. When I first saw people without home phones, I was, like, laughing at them.

[JD Ryan]

Why?

[John Clay Wolf]

Just. But just white trash.

[JD Ryan]

Ever since we were kids.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, white trash freak.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Nope. No, I don't have neither. I'm a white trash freak. Who would have thought? I mean, a phone in your home is like having water. Right?

[JD Ryan]

Right, Right. Well, it was when we were kids.

[John Clay Wolf]

Not kids.

[Tyrone]

I know.

[John Clay Wolf]

All the way up to 10 years ago.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, 10 years ago.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, I don't know when you quit being a kid. 10 years ago, but you're 80 now, right?

[JD Ryan]

85.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Yeah.

[Bobbo]

But to people our age, it's kind of the equivalent of like drawing a picture of Ace Fraley. Full makeup regalia on your book cover in school. It's like you're tagging something, you know?

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Bobbo]

Brown Bobby. That's my name. That's my number.

[John Clay Wolf]

Anybody that wants to sell their car wants a bid go to. Give me the VIN because the phones are down. Give me the vinyl. GiveMeTheEven.com and put your VIN number in and your info real quick. And the guys will email you an offer letter on.

[Bobbo]

I'll bet that phone guy screwed it up, dude.

[John Clay Wolf]

I bet he didn't. If we don't beat a Carmax offer, I'll overnight you a check for a Hunski. I don't know what else I can say, I had people say, why don't you do a gift card? Or why don't you get it to their favorite dinner restaurant and then it won't cost you a hundred. Like you could get a hundred dollar gift card but really pay 50 for it. And people won't shut up with giving me ideas of what we can offer besides a hundred dollar bill. I'm like, why don't we give them a hundred and let them figure it out how they want to spend it.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, but that hundred dollar deal is like one of the commandments in the car business, right? $100 is $100. Bird Dog, 100$.

[John Clay Wolf]

This. Everything moves in Hunsky's. Yeah, but that's what I'm doing with the public. I'm just. I'm just saying I'll give you a hundred dollars for last look, if you go to carmax, they offer you 25,000. Say we hit it at 24 and a half on our side unseen over the email appraisal.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, you say 24 or 5, okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And they go to Carmax, they get 25.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

If they'll shoot us a picture of that Carmax offer and shoot and email it to us and we say no, sell it to them, I'll overnight you check for 100. If I don't beat it, okay, I have to beat it. So either way you make more money, right?

[JD Ryan]

Either way you win.

[John Clay Wolf]

808 is. 800 is working. 800, 800, 7, 2 3, 4. I think the phones are working. So give it a test. 800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4.

[Bobbo]

800, 800 radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

So you think it's working? Well, that's good. The phone got in, screwed up too bad.

[Turley]

No, it was just our old telos being moved around.

[John Clay Wolf]

What is the audio clip of the day, boss?

[Turley]

All right, you want to get to that now?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I do.

[Turley]

Well, we got to play the open. Of course.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, God, it's terrible.

[JD Ryan]

I hope we didn't break the budget on that.

[Turley]

It was expensive, man.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, really.

[John Clay Wolf]

Time for T's audio clip. Time for. Time for Turley's. Time for Sing it Everybody.

[JD Ryan]

Could on me.

[Turley]

All right, so this week's clip comes from the Daily Show.

[JD Ryan]

The Daily Show.

[Turley]

I don't know if you've watched the.

[JD Ryan]

Daily show without Stewart Left.

[Turley]

Some guy named Trevor who's black is on there right now.

[JD Ryan]

No worries.

[Turley]

No, it's okay. It's not great, but I like this clip because.

[JD Ryan]

Wait, what did you say? It's okay. The clip is of the show, the Show. I agree.

[Turley]

But this is probably the best thing they've put out since the new the new form.

[JD Ryan]

A moment of a moment of gold.

[Turley]

This is called the black Trump.

[JD Ryan]

The black yes.

[Turley]

So they took all Donald Trump's little quips, his sayings and stuff and made a hip hop song out of it. Oh, so this song is nothing but what Donald Trump has said so far this year.

[JD Ryan]

I think I like it already.

[Guest Rapper]

Ted Cruz who've been killing our country lion, Ted Cruz used a picture of Milan. Yeah. Careful lying Ted. I'll spit a blues on your woman. I'll be watching. Martin Family written by Mo I never like Bette middles Persona. I have black guys count my money. The one who can beat Hillary. I'm not a Mitt Romney, remember I'm the only candidate who's self funded. Make America great again. Fingers long and beautiful. Look at these hands. I win, I win. I always win. Some people say I'm very, very, very intelligent. Mexico is not a friend. Build the wall. I love the Mexicans. Nobody has more respect for women. Heidi Klum sadly no longer 10 true. Check me out. Democratsy love me. Check me out. These Muslims love me.

[John Clay Wolf]

They do.

[Guest Rapper]

Stop hating. These women love me. These gays love me. Everybody love me. Told you check me out. Megan Kelly, she love me. Check me out illegals, they love me.

[John Clay Wolf]

You bet.

[Guest Rapper]

What it do these veterans love me?

[John Clay Wolf]

Is this the Trump rap?

[Guest Rapper]

Everybody love me.

[Turley]

This is actual all Trump360.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's good man?

[Guest Rapper]

If Megyn Kelly stopped talking about me on her show, her ratings would drop like a rock. But I got. I gotta go, man. The beat about to drop. I have a great relationship with the blacks. The blacks, politicians all talking the wax. I was down there at 7:11. I spent almost nothing on my run for president. All the women flirted with me on the Apprentice. If a bunk of what my daughter then perhaps I'd be dating her. We have to have a wall done. Who's doing the raping? We have to have a wall done.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who doing the raping?

[Guest Rapper]

Check me out Democrats, they love me. Check me out. These Muslims love me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh yeah, stop hating.

[Guest Rapper]

These women love me. These gays love me. Everybody love me. Told you check me out. Megan Kelly, she love me. Check me out. Ill legals in London what it dude? These veterans love me. Protesters love me. Everybody love me.

[Tyrone]

Told you.

[Guest Rapper]

I'm so good looking. I'm really rich. Part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich. Don't respect women. They know it's the opposite Ariana Huffington is unattractive. Happy Easter to all.

[Turley]

So, yeah, all the whole. That's pretty creative to do the whole song to make a hip hop song.

[JD Ryan]

I like that. That's a lot.

[John Clay Wolf]

Carlton McLean. Good morning. You're on the air. Good morning. What's up?

[Caller]

Nothing. Wanted to sell a car.

[John Clay Wolf]

What you got?

[Caller]

I got a 2010 Cadillac S movie.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does it have a clean Carfax?

[Caller]

Yeah. I mean, never wrecked.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Long or short?

[Caller]

Short.

[John Clay Wolf]

Average. Rough or clean? It's got 50,000 miles. Must be clean. What color is it? It's clean.

[Caller]

It's black.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Clean Carfax. Shorty 22's navigation factory. Sunroof, black. 30 grand. I'm buying the miles. I mean, that's. That's high, but I'm buying the miles. It's got good miles.

[Caller]

That's exactly what CarMax offers me.

[John Clay Wolf]

How long did it take you to find that out from CarMax, though? Hour, hour and a half?

[Caller]

Three.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right. You had to wait. Okay. And that's what we [e-mail]. you can just call in. I mean, just go to the website and get a number fired off. Okay, so I advertise. I'll beat CarMax. Or I'll give a hundred dollars. So I'll give a 30,300. I beat him. I don't owe you anything. Are you gonna sell it to me?

[Caller]

I'll sell it.

[John Clay Wolf]

You should. All right, cool. Beat Carmax by 300. Will come get it. I'm gonna put you on hold. They'll get it all lined up. My name's John Clay Wolf. I'll be right back. Back. Uno memento. Poor favar.

[Announcer]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up now. 800-800-Rode. Or log on to GoWolf.com now. John Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

Our number two affiliates that just joined us. Good morning. It is 9:00, clock Texas time. Dallas, Texas. Houston, Texas. Panhandle, Texas. Lousiana, Texas. Yes, I said I don't know. Louisiana, Texas, West Texas. Texas is king. We are the live show for regional Texas mountains. Saturday morning Live. My name is John Clay Wolf. J.D. ryan. Morning, Bobbo, our sound man.

[Bobbo]

And you can call with no long distance at 1-800-800-RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or go to givemetheven.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

Michael Turley, Texas.

[Turley]

We are the station of the Southwest Conference. Damn it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Aren't we the sec. The Southwest Conference. I missed the Southwest Conference. Bob, what you do for Cinco de Mayo. Yeah.

[Bobbo]

What did I do?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

Ah, you know what, man?

[John Clay Wolf]

Nothing.

[Bobbo]

I went to work y came home. I went on the border, had a Corona with lime.

[John Clay Wolf]

I went to a Mexican place at 9 and they were closed.

[JD Ryan]

And on a Friday night.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And we went to another one. They were closing Thursday night. Yeah. And then we're like, hell, we want to Cinco de Mayo party.

[Bobbo]

A Mexican place was closed at night.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. On Cinco de Mayo.

[Bobbo]

See, now, for actual Mexican people from Mexico, Cinco de Mayo is not a big deal.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, when we got to on the border, it was a real big deal. For the blacks.

[Tyrone]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

For Texas. For Texas.

[John Clay Wolf]

This thing was loaded down with brothers and red drinks. You know how Canadians love them red drinks, right? All the brothers, they were sucking on them red. Whatever it is they drink at. Papa do, they were drinking them. And on the border, On Cinco de Mayo.

[Tyrone]

Yeah. Honey, let me have one of those.

[Bobbo]

The Accidental Racist.

[John Clay Wolf]

What was that, Turley?

[Tyrone]

Give me that little celio.

[Turley]

Tyrone, here.

[Tyrone]

I want to drink some of that. Is that Mexican?

[John Clay Wolf]

Mexican.

[Tyrone]

I drink something Mexican for the Cinco de Mayo, so they give me something nice.

[John Clay Wolf]

This place was packed. I had some Mexican, some Mexican beer. Actually, this will be my third night of drinking in a row.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a Thursday. Friday, Saturday.

[JD Ryan]

Why are you doing it tonight?

[John Clay Wolf]

Buddy's birthday.

[JD Ryan]

You going out with your wife?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[JD Ryan]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, well, that's nice to be on Mother's Day weekend. What are you getting her?

[John Clay Wolf]

I try. I don't know yet what I'm getting.

[JD Ryan]

You don't even know yet because you're busy drinking with the boys.

[Tyrone]

See, that's why. How come all your Mexican drinks be green? I don't want no grain.

[John Clay Wolf]

Drink some red.

[Tyrone]

I'll take the umbrella.

[JD Ryan]

Hell, have we given this guy a name?

[Turley]

Tyrone. You don't know Tyrone?

[John Clay Wolf]

Tyrone comes and goes.

[Tyrone]

What you talk about? J.D. you know me, baby.

[JD Ryan]

Sorry, Tyrone.

[Tyrone]

J.D. you changed.

[JD Ryan]

No, I haven't changed. I'm the same guy.

[Tyrone]

Remember I said all the way back in the third grade, I said, come here. Ain't nobody gonna mess with J.D. while I'm around.

[JD Ryan]

Come here. I know. Let me give you a hug. Let's hug. Let's hug it out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Let's hug it out.

[Tyrone]

Give me some of that, you sexy child.

[JD Ryan]

Lord, Lord, my boy.

[Tyrone]

Lonely Team.

[JD Ryan]

No, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

There was a lot of black folks on the Border Bar.

[JD Ryan]

He does. Well, we've been buddies long time. What?

[John Clay Wolf]

Lots of black folk at the on the Border Bar on Cinco de Mayo way outweighed the Mexicans and the whites, huh? They were in good mood too. It's weird.

[Bobbo]

And if you go to Trump, this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is a Trump deal. I mean, what. Why were all the blacks celebrating Cinco de Mayo more than the Mexicans and the Mexican places were closing down at night?

[Turley]

I don't know.

[John Clay Wolf]

Something's happened, Tyrone. Why. Why were so many black people and on the border at 9:30 on Cinco de Mayo?

[Tyrone]

I tell you what they do, okay, they got the happy hour. But if you hang around, you come in like 7:15, 7:20 and you start ordering happy hour, they're gonna sell you as many Nacho wangs as you want. No, I don't think that happens to 9:30. No, 9:45. Pull that wing discount.

[John Clay Wolf]

That didn't happen.

[Tyrone]

The happy hour. Stay long.

[JD Ryan]

I don't think it happened.

[Tyrone]

That's called a happy hour. Stay long.

[JD Ryan]

We. We have. We're not endorsing on the border.

[Tyrone]

That's funny though, that we all hang around, you know the.

[Caller]

On the boulder.

[Tyrone]

Yeah. Because my cousin.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh God.

[Tyrone]

Jesus.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyrone]

Down at Trio Lopos Rodeo.

[JD Ryan]

No.

[Tyrone]

Was full of Polish people.

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know Polish people.

[Tyrone]

That's what it said.

[JD Ryan]

It's.

[John Clay Wolf]

Something's happening, J.D. i'm telling you. It's like the. It's like the seasons are changing. All the hail and the crazy storms. The different cultures are going different directions at the wrong. The black folks showing up at the Mexican joint on the Mexican day and the Mexican people, where the hell they go?

[JD Ryan]

This is brilliant.

[John Clay Wolf]

Here's what's happened.

[JD Ryan]

Trump has been the nominate nomination, the nominee for one day. And already everybody's getting coming together.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what's happening one day. Just like California.

[JD Ryan]

It's everybody. Everybody's loving each other and sharing and I was there.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was in the middle of it. It's rainbow watermelon shots with the brothers.

[JD Ryan]

There we go.

[Lucy]

See, that's because most of us Mexican people don't like to go to the Mexican places.

[JD Ryan]

You don't?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Lucy]

We like to shoot eight ball at clicks.

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Shoot what?

[JD Ryan]

Eight ball a click.

[Lucy]

We like to shoot eight ball at clicks.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's it? Oh, oh, he wants to play pool at clicks. Billiards sometime.

[Lucy]

I have a cousin would like to play nine ball. Well, he's a badass.

[John Clay Wolf]

My father in law is Danish. My father in law's Danish. And he'll play in nine ball. He'll whip your Mexican ass. He thinks he's bad. Yeah.

[Lucy]

He cannot woo my ass. I Don't play nine ball. I like to play the dice.

[JD Ryan]

Do I know this character as well?

[Lucy]

Paul, darts.

[JD Ryan]

Is this Jose?

[Lucy]

I'm Lucy. Lucy, do you know me? I'm sorry, I've been hanging around your house for a long time.

[JD Ryan]

No, you haven't been to my house.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's been mowing your yard. No, no, no. This is the.

[Turley]

You didn't know. This is your maid.

[Lucy]

It's not good for you to come here.

[JD Ryan]

My maid?

[Lucy]

My cousin Rocketosis will get mad. Oh, he is illegal. So you know that he could be bad if he come to your house at night.

[JD Ryan]

So what do you guys think of. What do you think of Trump?

[John Clay Wolf]

Lucy?

[Lucy]

Lucy, we like him.

[JD Ryan]

You like him. Good. He likes you.

[Lucy]

Because we not trust Harry. They were Clinton.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I don't understand her, J.D. what did she say?

[JD Ryan]

She doesn't trust Hillary Devil Clinton.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, okay.

[Lucy]

Very nice lady.

[JD Ryan]

No, she's not.

[Lucy]

Let she go for fortunes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good for what?

[Lucy]

She like to give money to the poor.

[JD Ryan]

She likes to give money to the poor.

[Lucy]

But she mean to her husband, that gorgeous Billy Clinton.

[JD Ryan]

He's mean. Her husband.

[Lucy]

He's so nice.

[John Clay Wolf]

Lucy, do you think Hillary Clinton will reinstate the cell phone program that. That Brock's gonna have to turn off when he leaves office?

[Lucy]

I think Hillary already done what he said, J.D. that's why the FBI don't allow her.

[JD Ryan]

Hillary already did something. Doomed.

[Lucy]

She already doomed it.

[JD Ryan]

Doomed it.

[John Clay Wolf]

She doomed it.

[Lucy]

What I say, do I stutter?

[JD Ryan]

I understand.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, J.D. i just can't understand. I'm. My Spanish. I'm rusty. I'm rusty.

[JD Ryan]

Clearly. I speak Spanish.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, I can speak job site Spanish. Yeah, but I don't understand lucy so well. 800, 872. What? Bob, are you there? Bob?

[Bobbo]

Yeah, I'm just taking this all in, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give the listeners our call in number, if you don't mind. So we can get some cars on.

[Bobbo]

The board to get John's bid. Call now at 1-800-800-RADIO. That's 800-800-7234, or go to givemetheven.com year.

[John Clay Wolf]

Make, model miles is what I need. Year make, model miles. It's about high time to get the car thing rolling this morning. Yeah, the first hour. We never do it, but now we. Yeah, we hang out, sober up. So, bro.

[Lucy]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Lucy, I need Bobbo back. Maya. What? What? What? Mother's Day weekend.

[JD Ryan]

Mother's Day weekend. What have you done? What are you gonna do besides drink another night?

[John Clay Wolf]

I was thinking, my. My buddy called me on the Way in this morning, and he said his. His wife to be drinking wine too much. Oh, boy. And then he called my brother.

[JD Ryan]

Why'd you call your brother?

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what I said.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, like a witch doctor.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, to, like, ask him about what he thought about his fiance drinking too much wine.

[JD Ryan]

What is your brother?

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, my brother's an old alcoholic from way back. And I mean, I think his old wife's a wine head.

[JD Ryan]

Nobody better to get alcoholic information from than an alcoholic.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so then I should be flattered that he chose to call my brother over you. Right. Okay, that makes sense.

[Bobbo]

It's hard to drink too much wine, though.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what my brother told him. And he said all these women around 50, they just drink wine. That's what they do.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, it just takes a long, long time to drink too much wine. I try all the time and I can never get too much.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did you have any brothers, Mom?

[Bobbo]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

J.D. did you?

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Was he entitled like my brother?

[JD Ryan]

Nope.

[John Clay Wolf]

My brother Charlie. What about you?

[Turley]

I've got one. And he's. He's pretty much J.D. on steroids. As far as clean, jelly bean religious.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mine is real. I mean, like, growing up. If I had poontang. Yeah, it was his poontang.

[Tyrone]

Oh.

[John Clay Wolf]

And if I had.

[JD Ryan]

Whatever you had.

[John Clay Wolf]

If I had new shirts in my closet, they're his shirts. And if I had a new motorcycle, it's his. He was Chet from Weird Science. Still kind of is.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, he still kind of is.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, like, we were. We were. My dad was going to leave us some land.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

That my grandparents left.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I was like, why don't you move out here into this house I'm in that I remodeled.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I'll build a new one. Why do you get the new one? Why do you get the new one? Who are you? Why do you always think that you deserve everything? What? I'm like, really? No, let me build a new one. And you live in it. Is that what you want? That's the way it's always been.

[JD Ryan]

Because I. I was gonna build it. You monkey.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, you monkey. I'm the one who worked my ass off and made it work. Why do you get the new one? Why do you get the. I swear to God, J.D. that's what he told me. Why you get the new one? Well, who do you think you are? I mean, didn't you build a new one? What part of the.

[JD Ryan]

What part of the. I'm gonna build it didn't. You didn't get it? Hey, I bought A new car? Why you get a new car? Cause I bought it.

[John Clay Wolf]

My grandfather set up college funds for both of us. My grandfather set up college funds for both of us. And my dad, my brother burned through his. Yeah. So he used mine. He got my college money.

[JD Ryan]

How'd he get to it?

[John Clay Wolf]

My dad gave it to him.

[JD Ryan]

Oh my God. Has he ever hit our.

[John Clay Wolf]

So hey, hey, hey. It gets better when I get to school.

[Tyrone]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I get to SMU thinking that I got money.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. No.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I don't.

[Tyrone]

Nothing.

[John Clay Wolf]

And my dad paid for my first semester. I was on my own because he, he, he couldn't do it.

[JD Ryan]

How do you explained it to you?

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't, I, I, I still, I didn't worry about it. I just went to fixing things.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And, but I needed a co signer for the student loans.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

So I go to my brother.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I said, hey man, you got all my college money, right?

[JD Ryan]

You burned through it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, he didn't burn through it. My dad gave it to him.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

He gave him my college money. Would you mind co signing my student loan since you got my college money, right? Nah, I can't do that.

[Tyrone]

Yeah. See that there's a white man problem. That's not something we go through. Who gonna build a house? Who gonna we live. We stay nine to a room, dog. We ain't got elbow room. You ain't got room for your knees or your ankles and nothing.

[JD Ryan]

Why do you get the new house?

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll never forget I had an older gal that was pretty good looking on my tip as Easy would say. You know, the only reason she's coming around is to get to me, right? Oh gee, this is my brother.

[JD Ryan]

No, I swear to God.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know the only reason that one, no, it's not one. It's several of them.

[JD Ryan]

But it's just compensating for his lack of security.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I'm just a dumbass. I'm just an idiot. No, that I, I'm, I, I need to keep, I'll do that. Take care of it.

[Bobbo]

I mean, are you the baby boy?

[John Clay Wolf]

Are you the youngest? I'm the youngest.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, me too. I get treated like that a lot. Do you actually.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. From your sisters.

[Bobbo]

Yeah. And it's, there's a, there's kind of almost a constant one upmanships. But it's not ugly. It's not bad natured like that. We're not envious of each other, you know.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, we're not until. Yeah, money gets tight. He's jealous of you when money gets tight.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, he's jealous of you. I remember sitting with him that one time, we were all at the picnic table and you could tell the TV show you were having a TV reality show. Yeah, he was so jealous, it was dripping out of his pores.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, yeah, dude, I've always been on his side. It's weird. I gave up being on his side. I just.

[Bobbo]

Why don't they have a brother's day?

[Turley]

There's a siblings day on.

[John Clay Wolf]

Brothers are a holes.

[Bobbo]

Siblings, man, but you know what I'm saying, like, you guys could pass this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thing up September, no problem. It's the norm, dude. It's the norm. I've been dealing with this all the years.

[Bobbo]

I'll bet. You know what? If they had a brother's day and it wasn't in February, it probably confused the whole country.

[JD Ryan]

So that's my favorite line of the day. I'm going to build a new house. Oh, why do you get the new house? I built it.

[Bobbo]

800-800-Radio is the number to call. It's 1-800-800-Radio. Call 1-800-800-7234 now to get in on the John Clay Wolf show or go to givemethevin.com. put in make, model and miles and you'll get a bid from the bid master himself, John Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he's in the pharmaceutical or the, the, the meds. And he'll be drunk with his doctor buddies at 10 o'. Clock. Hey, John, you know. Yeah, Tram. Hey, I need you to bid one for me.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, geez.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know I put a quarter in your dance monkey. Dance. I got you on speaker. All these guys are listening.

[JD Ryan]

Come on, do it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, he's got a Porsche. I'm like, yeah, tell him to call me tomorrow. No, man, that ain't cool.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, God, that's funny.

[John Clay Wolf]

Brandon, Good morning. You're on the air.

[Bobbo]

I'll.

[John Clay Wolf]

You can put a quarter in me. I'll bid one for you. What do you got? Brandon? Brandon.

[Caller]

Hey, John. What's up, guys?

[John Clay Wolf]

Not much. What station you listen on?

[Caller]

97.5 down in Houston. I'm in Beaumont.

[John Clay Wolf]

How do we. You listen to us in Beaumont on 97. 5.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

I didn't know that it reached that far.

[Caller]

Yes, sir. Every, Every Saturday. I'm tuning in. I love you guys.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh,975 ESPN. Duh. I was thinking 94. 5 the buzz, because we got another station in Houston this morning. Oh, six. Oh, I got to get out in 20 seconds. 06 Jeep Grand Cherokee with a buck 15. Is it leather or cloth?

[Caller]

It's cloth.

[John Clay Wolf]

Average rough or clean?

[Caller]

I would say right around average.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does five grand. Put it to bed, man.

[Caller]

I was shooting for six.

[John Clay Wolf]

Go to givemethe vin.com. push the VIN number in. Say John said five on the air. I need six. Here's the pictures. We're pull the vin number and we'll make a decision. I'll try to get closer to your figure. If I can't, just give it.

[Caller]

You're the man, John.

[JD Ryan]

Have a great day.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thanks, Brandon. 800, 800 radio. Or just go to givemetheven.com My name is John Clay Wolf and we will be back. Uno momento, por favor.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call him toll free. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

Larry, you're on the air. Biggest lie you ever told, told your mother.

[Caller]

How y' all doing this morning?

[John Clay Wolf]

Good, good, good, good. Where you calling from?

[Caller]

All right, I'm calling for B. Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Make a long story short. Yeah, I hear you getting comfortable over there and opening a beer to tell us the story. Ain't got that much time.

[Bobbo]

Let me tell you what I done.

[Caller]

I stole my mom's car, right? Y met some friends. And then on the way home, the tire blew out. I didn't know how to change the tire, so I drove the tire about 10 miles home. It dug a hole. It dug into the concrete and just pretty much made a path all the way back to my house.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've seen that before. You and I have this in common. Go ahead.

[Caller]

So I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna park the car in the driveway and act like I didn't do it. So my mom wakes up and she hysterical. She don't know what happened because me being me trying to get out of it, I decided to write a note and leave it on the car saying that this what the note said, it ain't over mb, which is my mom's initial.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like somebody slashed your tire.

[Caller]

I don't like somebody did something to it. I don't know.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did it work?

[Tyrone]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Daniel, good morning. You're on the air, brother. Topic is what I see. Yeah, what's up?

[Caller]

Hey, what's going on, man? I just calling in. I thought it was hilarious. Your story about, you know, your brother and I kind of have a similar story like that. But first of all, I just want to say, what's up, Johnny boy? Your brother still loves you very much. I ain't mad at you. I just want to clear the air and let everybody know that no matter what people are saying or, you know, misconstruing or their perception of the situation, it's gonna be okay, and we're gonna ride it out. And these cops aren't gonna turn up against each other anymore, and these stupid doctors are gonna do that to us.

[Tyrone]

No more.

[Caller]

And I just want to put all the doctors on blast that think they can lock people up in, you know, rehab facilities when they really don't need it, when they're standing up for everyone's constitutional rights to party, because you gotta fight for your right to party.

[John Clay Wolf]

There we go. All right. Hey, I also saw you want to congratulate me on something.

[Bobbo]

Is this Vaughn Miller on the phone?

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know. It also said in the notes, you've got a. You want to congratulate on something. Hey, and Brittany, when somebody says on something, you get that something out of them and put it in the queue. Okay? That's part of producing a phone call. Dan.

[Caller]

Yeah. You gotta produce, man. You gotta produce, man. Look, all I'm saying is I'm sitting here on the sidelines and I'm holding it down, and I'm. And I want to congratulate you for making it to the radio so you can put people on blast like they need to, but we're going to.

[JD Ryan]

What in the world?

[John Clay Wolf]

He's just smoking, man. He is. He is. Hi.

[Bobbo]

Is that your brother?

[John Clay Wolf]

It didn't sound like my brother. I didn't know where he was. That dude was.

[Bobbo]

Was it Johnny Manzel's brother?

[John Clay Wolf]

I think it was Johnny, man. El's brother.

[Bobbo]

That's what he sounded like, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Brian, biggest lie you ever told your mother. Make it quick.

[Caller]

Yes. Back in 2004, I got a phone call at my mom's house on a phone number that nobody had for me to get mobilized to go back on active duty. And she could only hear my side, the conversation. And by the end of it, I told her that the furthest I was going was to a small air base in Kuwait, which was going to be completely and totally out of any danger zone.

[John Clay Wolf]

Biggest lie. We got to get there. We're in a time.

[Caller]

Yeah, well, the biggest lie was I was going into Fallujah right before Phantom Fury when the Marines stormed the city.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, wow.

[Caller]

And, yeah, I told my wife not to tell her till after I got on the plane and off the ground to fly over there to let her know where I was actually going.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, you made it back, and thanks for your service and thanks for sharing your story. Liar on this. Happy Mother's Day.

[JD Ryan]

Way to go, Bobbo.

[John Clay Wolf]

Philip. 2014 Ram 4x4. Is it leather or cloth?

[Caller]

Leather.

[John Clay Wolf]

Leather. Does it have sunroof? And navigation?

[Caller]

No navigation.

[John Clay Wolf]

Lariat or SLT? Laramie or SLT? 4x4. SLT with leather. No roof. What color?

[Caller]

White.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does 25 grand sound right? Go to givemetheven.com. dump the VIN number in there. Let me pull the VIN number. Let me look at a couple of pictures. You can upload two pictures right [e-mail] on your phone. You don't have to download an app. The website works like an app. Put the VIN number in, push the picture button and it'll. You can take one out of your phone's library or take one right there with your phone and put the miles in. Say Wolf said 25. I'm at 28. Tell him to look at it after the show. When I get down there after the show, I'll give it a look. See? So go now to givemetheven.com. load it up, we'll work on it. 8008-0072-3480-0800 rady. We got somebody that wants advice for a 16 year old daughter. Mike, Good morning.

[Caller]

Good morning. How are you doing, John?

[John Clay Wolf]

Good, good. Where you calling from?

[Caller]

Alvin.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, I know where.

[Caller]

Elvin, I listen to you every weekend.

[John Clay Wolf]

Excellent. Thanks for calling.

[Caller]

I got a daughter that's graduating. I want to get her a good car. I want a five thousand dollar budget. Do you have any recommendations? A and B? Do you have one? You tell me.

[John Clay Wolf]

I would get her a Tahoe. Yes, a high mileage Tahoe, an O2. Those cars last forever and ever and ever. It'll put plenty of metal around her in case she has that 16, 17, 18 year old wreck that most of them have. And it's the safest, most bang for your money. Looks okay and it won't let you down. The engine transmission combo on that Chevrolet truck and Suburban and Tahoe in that time frame is unbreakable. They'll last 250, 300,000 miles.

[Caller]

Okay, thanks.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, there's lots of room in the back of that Tahoe job.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, hi. Cindy, Susie. Susie, Cindy, Cindy, sweetheart.

[Bobbo]

Everybody does.

[John Clay Wolf]

Susie Snapper is here with us. Good to see you, Susie.

[Bobbo]

Hey, J.D. how's it going?

[John Clay Wolf]

Good morning.

[Bobbo]

Looking good.

[John Clay Wolf]

How are you on this Mother's Day weekend?

[Bobbo]

You know, it's really sad time for me because I mean I've like, I've almost had 19 children.

[JD Ryan]

No.

[Bobbo]

I just never quite made it.

[John Clay Wolf]

No. Did the court let you keep most of them?

[Bobbo]

No, I mean I never had them, you know.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where'd they go?

[Bobbo]

I just got a hero diet. What?

[John Clay Wolf]

The cocaine, the heroin diet and the cocaine.

[Bobbo]

Terrible diet.

[John Clay Wolf]

The luff rough, rough radio road.

[Bobbo]

That's a terrible diet. But you know, showbiz and showbiz guy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Susie is, is a longtime FM rock and roll dj. She's lived a love a rough life, done a lot of drugs.

[Bobbo]

Love that rock and roll.

[John Clay Wolf]

She, she slept with a lot of band members. Do you have any kids with any of the band members?

[Bobbo]

I'll tell you the truth. There was a lot of sleeping going on. Just screwing like hounds.

[John Clay Wolf]

Susie's always good to come in and give us the weekend weather update.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. What's the weather like for Mother's Day?

[Bobbo]

You know, it's gonna be really nice. You're gonna be the 80s.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Bobbo]

So you can get up and sweat by 2. Sure to have a little bit of rain late tonight. Tomorrow. So you'd be wet by Monday.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[JD Ryan]

Very nice.

[Bobbo]

It's gonna be nice Mother's Day. Tell you mothers out there.

[JD Ryan]

Oh no, here we go. Relax.

[Bobbo]

I don't give a damn.

[JD Ryan]

I'm just kidding around. Come on. About all your kids.

[John Clay Wolf]

Susie, you want to give out the calling number for Mother's Day listeners this weekend?

[Bobbo]

Call 1-800-800-RODIO to talk to John Clay Wolfe.

[John Clay Wolf]

Those guys are fat. We're not fags. Susie, tell them we're not fags.

[Bobbo]

Call it now. I know, I like the girls too.

[John Clay Wolf]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Or you just go to givemetheven.com jd what have we got in the news this morning?

[JD Ryan]

Well, let's see here. You've never been to Vegas. Have you ever been to Fremont Street? It's covered. Yeah, right. You've been to Fremont Street. You know, it's covered. It's kind of a neat area. They got lights and they got all kinds of bacteria. They have a zip line that actually goes down Fremont Street. And this week the people that were walking down on Fremont street noticed a rain shower.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, no.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[Turley]

Somebody threw up.

[JD Ryan]

No worse than that 15 year old boy zipped down his pants and decided to spray visitors. Yeah, because where is this? This is in Vegas. This is a zip line that goes about. It's about 50ft over the top of the ground.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was peeing while he was ziplined.

[JD Ryan]

He zip lined it down and he took it. Carolyn. He Sprayed the crowd, his family, his love. He was arrested. His family. Family has apologized, but they did not reveal whether the worst shower in the world was a prank or just an accident.

[John Clay Wolf]

How old?

[Turley]

15 golden showers by the Golden Nugget. That's awesome.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was arrested.

[JD Ryan]

They did arrest him at the end. Yes.

[Turley]

Okay.

[Bobbo]

May I offer a theory?

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[Bobbo]

I'll bet he's the youngest child, too. Dude, that's the youngest child kind of a trick right there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is it? Yeah.

[Bobbo]

Oh, yeah. He's the only person that can get away with that.

[JD Ryan]

That's something Clay would do is what you're saying.

[Bobbo]

Screw you, mom and dad.

[JD Ryan]

Look what I can do. Well, there's another prank that got a kid in trouble in Mesa, Arizona. A dare, basically, to take a. You've seen those football photos where they all stand up and they're all smiling and they got the big football uniform. Well, this. This kid, his name is Hunter. Of course it is. Hunter Osborne, a football player at Red Mountain High School in Mesa, Arizona, decided to put just the. Just the tip of his business on top. Showing on, you know, the football hose. No, no, no, no, no, no. His manliness.

[John Clay Wolf]

But where did he do it?

[JD Ryan]

He did. Right over the top of his belt. He just stuck it out of the top like so.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did he have a woody?

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he just poked it up and poked it in.

[JD Ryan]

Poked it up over.

[John Clay Wolf]

The helmet was hanging.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, the helmet was over the top of the belt.

[Guest Rapper]

Right.

[JD Ryan]

Helmet.

[John Clay Wolf]

Was he circumcised? I don't know that.

[JD Ryan]

But anyway, so basically, the bad news is they printed this photo, and because it got circulated, he is now up for 69. 69 counts of indecent exposure.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Which is a class four count.

[Bobbo]

Him a felony registered sex offender, too.

[JD Ryan]

And a rest. He'll have to be a registered sex offender if. If he is, in fact, convicted of this crime. It was. It was. It was a dare. It was stupid, but really a class. Class one misdemeanor class for felony with 69 counts of indecent exposure.

[Bobbo]

See, that's the thing in this culture that's liable to catch on. Just like sunglasses on the back of your hat.

[John Clay Wolf]

I still haven't gotten to the biggest lie ever told my mom.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, tell us.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't have time for it.

[JD Ryan]

How long does this take?

[John Clay Wolf]

Ah, it'll be, you know, a good three minutes.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, we gotta go to commercial. Mine. Mine's 30.

[John Clay Wolf]

We don't have time for yours either. Wow. We don't have time for anything because we've got to go. We'll be right back. Uno momento, por favor. Call in now. 800-8-800 radio will bid your car on the air. Will be here until 11 in some cities, 12 in the other. One thing I've learned about car dealers over the years is if their lips are moving, they're lying. Not all of them, but a lot of them. Oh, God, they lie. I made a website, givemetheven.com. it takes all that out of it. I'm not trying to sell you anything. I want to buy your car. You don't have to go to a dealership and get put in a headlock and go through the ringer. Go to givemethevin.com I will email you an offer letter. You don't have to mess with anything. You don't have to talk to anybody. It's just business.

[Bobbo]

Sell us your car. So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

9:51 little tripping Daisy to start the the day off. Eleanor wants to thank me for helping her through her mri. A Eleanor, you there?

[Caller]

Yes, I am.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good morning.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[John Clay Wolf]

What mri? What are you talking about?

[Caller]

Well, I just had an MRI this morning and while I was having my mri, you know, you. You have to wear the headphones in and I listen to you guys anyways when I'm driving around on Saturdays. So I just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh during the whole entire mri.

[Bobbo]

That's nice.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's wrong with you, baby?

[Caller]

Oh, well, I was in a car accident on the 20th of March.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And they. I already had that problem from a car accident 20 years ago in San Diego and now I'm in Texas.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Caller]

In a car accident. Yeah. So I have other injuries now. Now it just seems to get worse. So they needed to double check everything.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, hey, go to givemetheven.com, click email jcw and if tell me some bands that you like and whenever we get tickets, I'll send you some just for being a good gal.

[Caller]

Okay?

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. Thanks, Kate. I mean, thanks, Eleanor. Casey. Oh, eight Kia Ronda was 70. Does it have a third seat?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, wait. Kiara was 70. Average. Rougher. Clean.

[Caller]

It is clean. No, no damage to the body. I just put some 18 on it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bitching 18s on the Kiarondo. Do you have the. Do you have the factory wheels? Because I'll give you the same with the factory wheels.

[Caller]

Actually, I do not have the factory.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think it's a four grand rig. What are you thinking?

[Caller]

Excuse me?

[John Clay Wolf]

4,000. 4,500. What's it take to buy it?

[Caller]

I don't know, man. I was just trying to just get a price for me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, you got one now. You can't. Now you tell me what you'll sell it for. Because you're in. You're in me. It's your car, what you sell it for. Call me back when you know. No soup for you. No soup for you. 800-800-7234. Just going to give me the Vin Ko, man. Go to givemetheven.com, say you said 4500 on the air. I'll take X for it. Give us the VIN number in the pictures. Maybe. Those 18s look so damn good, we'll come off some more cash.

[Bobbo]

If you still got your factory wheels, call John at 1-800-800-RADIO. That's 800-800-RADIO. 1-800-800-7234.

[John Clay Wolf]

Wallace Edwards is coming in the studio today.

[JD Ryan]

I smell the Old Spice and then.

[John Clay Wolf]

Casey's coming in a minute for top 10 and 10.

[Bobbo]

That's high karate.

[JD Ryan]

JD oh, my bad, man. I smell something. This smell like 1972.

[John Clay Wolf]

Wallace always comes in and he gives us backstories on celebrities, rock and roll, country, whatever.

[JD Ryan]

He knows it all.

[John Clay Wolf]

He knows it. He's the real behind the music guy. And we love. We're so happy to have you here with us, Wallace.

[JD Ryan]

Stuff that doesn't even seem.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who ever knew that Ricky. Ricky Petty and Tom Petty were brothers? We didn't know that. We didn't know that Elvis was the real dad of Prince. We didn't know that Prince was the real dad of Kelly Clark. There's so many. We didn't know that. That Tanya Tucker got gang banged by all the Oak Ridge Boys. We didn't know these things until Wallace. So, Wallace, what have you got for us today?

[Bobbo]

Those Oak Ridge Boys are wicked, John.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, what are you. What, what are you going to share with us today?

[Bobbo]

We've got the story of Elton John.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, God, that could have some legs.

[Bobbo]

The American rock and roll revolution of the 50s was the culmination of a slow and gradual process stemming from the last throws of relocation in the south, combined with a new sense of desegregation of musical forms during the early days of the civil rights movement. But on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean in the United Kingdom, the cultural aftermath of relentless aerial bombing during the early days of World War II, not to mention all those English Fathers who never came home from the service spurred a generation of rock musicians who were inarguably fueled by an angst and rebellious style all their own. But while artists as disparate as the Beatles, the Kinks, and especially Pink Floyd all used the spoils of war as subject matter for their original material, none of those innocent dope smoking peace lovers could have imagined the terrifying and abominable effect that the Second World War would have on the career of England's own Elton John. He was actually born Adolph reginald dwight in 1947 in a military compound in East Berlin, the son of one Stanley Dwight, a former flight lieutenant of the Royal Air Force who defected to Hitler's Third Reich as a scientist and genetics expert during the late 1930s. No information of the young Reginald's mother or mothers has ever been made public. It's clear, though, through immigration papers drawn up after his father's death in the horrific penis enlargement accident, that young Reginald Dwight had characteristics and anatomical features that reveal the possibility of a diabolical plot by his father's group of evil Nazi collaborators to destroy the United Kingdom from from within. This time through the implantation of a special German sleeper soldier. A well trained, genetically altered uber homosexual who would corrupt jolly old England's social mores beyond recognition. Namely one we know today as the singer and songwriter Elton John. It's hinted in newly uncovered data that more than 15 top secret experiments and mutations were tested upon the child, many of which are just coming to light. The young specimen was allegedly born with a penis the size of a shift knob on a Peterbilt truck. In addition, he sported dew claws as big as his thumbs on both wrists, which along with years of master training, made him a formidable assassin and pianist. A decade of scream therapy gave him a vocal range that could shatter glass or sing in not four, but five octaves. He could also create a vacuum of up to 80 pounds per cubic inch with his lips alone providing a suck attack that was as deadly as any knife or bullet.

[JD Ryan]

God, really.

[Bobbo]

And his childhood exposure to a myriad of phallic symbology and flamboyant mannerisms lent him a disarming charm, a voracious sexual appetite, and a concentrated queerness that ensured his cover. The Neo Nazi secret weapon was released upon the British public in the spring of 1967 at the age of 22, and in no time at all had sold four albums, six sold out tours, and his own line of edible athletic supporters to the tune of millions.

[Tyrone]

Pounds.

[Bobbo]

He had also sexually devastated any number of fans Fellow musicians, his own fellow agent and songwriting partner, Bernie Taupin, along with countless service professionals and innocent bystanders in an all out attempt to literally suck, screw and or yank the country apart one unsuspecting victim at a time. I'd like to report that this dastardly plot was found out in time and that the English public eventually wised up to the dangerous infiltrator in their midst. But obviously, with nearly four decades and countless billions of records sold to his career, the only reason Elton John's gay Nazi takeover the world hasn't come to fruition is since the dawn of the sexual revolution, only a fool would fall prey to the deadly advances of a full blown deviant predator. And thanks to Elton John, the United Kingdom is very nearly plum out of fools. And that's this week's today in rock history. I'm Wallace Edwards.

[John Clay Wolf]

Suffering succotash.

[JD Ryan]

Really?

[Turley]

He's a super gay robot.

[John Clay Wolf]

Super gay. He needs a song called super gay.

[JD Ryan]

Super. Yeah, it's amazing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Maybe that's what this song is. I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch.

[JD Ryan]

I'm a bitch's back.

[Bobbo]

Scary stuff.

[John Clay Wolf]

Super gay, super succotash. We'll do the 3080-080072-34800, 800 radio. It's 9:59, otherwise known as 10 o'. Clock. We'll be coming right back with Casey Kasem's top 10 and 10. And I still need to get to the biggest lie I ever told my mom.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, I have one as well that involves the Dallas police department and Texas Oklahoma weekend and me.

[John Clay Wolf]

Texas Oklahoma weekend.

[JD Ryan]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll be right back in a moment of portfolio. Remember, go to givemetheven.com or just call in the show and we'll bid your car. Nobody likes selling their car. It's easy. You can do it from your underwear. @givemetheven.com we're not low ballers. We buy hundred thousand dollar cars. $20,000 truck. Giveme the vin.com you can do it straight from your mobile phone. We will email you an offer. We will come to you and pick it up. We'll pay off your payoff or give you a check. GiveMeTheEven.com We Beat CarMax offers every time. If we don't beat your carmax offer, we'll send you a check for $100.

[Bobbo]

Sell us your car. Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Announcer]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up now. 800-800-Rode. Or log on to GoWolf.com now. John Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

800-800-Rode. Just go to givetheven.com Happy Mother's Day weekend. Any holiday weekend's a little slow. Everybody drinks a little more than normal too. Even when they don't realize they're doing it. Hi, Brad. Ah, I need a bid one real quick. Larry, where you calling from?

[Caller]

Conroe.

[John Clay Wolf]

What station you listening on?

[Caller]

9845, the buzz.

[John Clay Wolf]

The buzz, man, the Buzz. Have you ever heard us before? This is our first day on the Buzz?

[Caller]

No, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, we've been on in Houston, but in a. On a different radio station for about five years. Glad to be there. Glad you called in.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

13 Ram. Half ton. Four wheel drive or two?

[Tyrone]

Four.

[John Clay Wolf]

Four wheel drive. Leather or cloth?

[Caller]

Cloth.

[John Clay Wolf]

Cloth. Does it have 20 inch wheels?

[Caller]

17.

[John Clay Wolf]

So. So it's got the small V8. Not the Hemi?

[Caller]

No, it's got the Hemi.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Average rough or clean?

[Caller]

Clean.

[John Clay Wolf]

What color is it?

[Caller]

It's a. They call it copper head or something like that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Copperhead.

[Bobbo]

What?

[Caller]

It looks like copper color.

[John Clay Wolf]

Are you wanting to sell it or you just thinking about it?

[Caller]

I'm thinking about it.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right.

[Caller]

See what I can get.

[John Clay Wolf]

Are you gonna trade it in?

[Caller]

I was thinking about that too.

[John Clay Wolf]

What are you gonna get?

[Caller]

I want to upgrade to a super crew.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is this the quad cab, small back door or the big back door crew? Okay, so it's a SLT 57 with small wheels. The money on this rig is going to be mid teens. No, it's a little harder than that. 13 Ram. It's right around 20 grand. Right around 20. 20 grand? Yeah, 20 grand. I'd be a 20 grand buyer with a clean carfax.

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you want to sell it to us, go to givemetheven.com and we can, we can actually facilitate a trade in with the dealership.

[Bobbo]

Hit it hard enough to affect the carfax on it.

[John Clay Wolf]

I hear you, dude. That's a good line. That's true. Good God. 800. 800 radio is how you call in and. Or just go to givemetheven.com JD is out and Casey just walked up to his mic.

[JD Ryan]

Morning, John.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good morning, Casey.

[JD Ryan]

How are you doing?

[John Clay Wolf]

Great.

[JD Ryan]

Hey, I guess you heard the big news this week.

[John Clay Wolf]

What?

[JD Ryan]

Donald Trump is the presumptive president. Well, okay, we'll go that far. All right. And we actually come up with the top 10 list of the Donald Trump will do the top 10 things he'll do the first week as the president.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Casey, I'm flattered that you chose our show to come back from the dead on and be on every Saturday.

[JD Ryan]

That's just what I do. I love you, John. I've listened to you for years.

[Bobbo]

You look really good for a dead guy.

[JD Ryan]

Don't I smell good too? Don't I?

[Lucy]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

His hair is just the same.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, it's kind of.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're a little short guy. You're shorter than I imagine.

[JD Ryan]

I am a little bit shorter than most people think.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, so give me your top.

[JD Ryan]

10 things Donald Trump will do immediately when he is president. Number 10, have the CIA pack and move Rosie O' Donnell to Canada. She said she wants to go. She's on the. She's out the door. Number nine, have the Secret Service agent assigned strictly to his hair. Number eight, set up a hundred percent tax deduction for tanning and tanning beds. Everyone should have it. Number seven, these the top 10 things Donald Trump will do immediately when he's president. Number seven, hire Mexicans to build a wall around the White House. Number six, make Ted Cruz drive his limo just to be a bitch. Number five, introduce House Bill 5150 calling Orange the new black. Think about that one. Number four, give the military a raise with the money he's going to raise from making making dope illegal rather legal in all 50 states that's coming. Legal legal, not illegal. Number three, appoint Dwayne the Rock Johnson to head the department of. Shut your freaking mouth. Number two, he'll have the first lady learn English. And the number one thing Donald Trump will do as president finally admit the whole damn thing is just a big bit on punk tv. I sure appreciate you having me on the show, Johnny Cat. Keep your feet in the ground like I am and keep reaching for the stars.

[John Clay Wolf]

Keep your ass in the ground. I can tell you.

[Bobbo]

Shut your freaking mouth.

[JD Ryan]

You like that?

[Bobbo]

I can tell you.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's your Trump.

[Bobbo]

Yeah, I'm working on it, Okay? I can tell you this. I can tell you this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Your Trump sounds like a Mafia. It sounds like Paulie from Goodfellows.

[Bobbo]

You should shut your freaking mouth over this thing here.

[JD Ryan]

A little less Mafia.

[Bobbo]

You know what I'm talking about?

[John Clay Wolf]

Go back to Univision.

[JD Ryan]

There you go back to Univision.

[John Clay Wolf]

Could his daughter be any hotter?

[JD Ryan]

Could the whole family? Have you seen the picture of the family?

[John Clay Wolf]

They put the Kardashians to shame.

[JD Ryan]

Seriously. Did you know what's hilarious?

[John Clay Wolf]

What?

[Bobbo]

Chris Matthews, the other night. Did you see this?

[JD Ryan]

Oh, boy.

[John Clay Wolf]

No. What happened? I hate the way he talks to his mouth with his lips. Yeah. He spits all over the TV when.

[Turley]

He'S talking from Massachusetts.

[Bobbo]

Well, the Trumps were headed to the stage. I think it was Indiana campaign, you know, primary night, and they were going to come up and make a victory speech. Chris Matthews was on mic and didn't know it. And he's talking about Melania. He says, look at her walk. Look at her walk.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, he said that off the, off the line. Look at it walk. Look at it.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God. Look at it walk.

[John Clay Wolf]

Now he talks. Look at his sock. It makes me suck us suck a suck attack. You're turning me on.

[JD Ryan]

He is going to implode.

[John Clay Wolf]

I cannot stand listening to that man talking. It kills me. It kills me.

[Bobbo]

I like how he says Americans hate him.

[John Clay Wolf]

800. 800 radio. So what? I, I, my buddy was going to call in and tell this story with me about. About the biggest lie we've ever told our mother.

[JD Ryan]

Told your mother?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, we as a. He and I together. He's like, dude, I've got my whole family in the car. I cannot. He's like, I'm calling at 11. Yeah, we're going to lacrosse game. I got to get away from my kids. They can't hear this. She's like, how old were we? I'm like, second or third grade. So what happened earlier? We're doing call in with the biggest lie you ever told your mom on this Mother's Day weekend.

[JD Ryan]

Right, right, right.

[John Clay Wolf]

So answering machines just came out?

[JD Ryan]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

80. 80. 80. I was in second or third grade. I was born in 72, so do the math. I don't know what year was it? But we. He calls me like, hey, man, this guy's got a tape recorder on his phone. Like, you can leave messages. So we start leaving messages.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I prank call messages in second or maybe third grade. But then I start firing it up. Hey, man, I've been banging your wife.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, geez.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

You're seven.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I was seven.

[JD Ryan]

My God, dude.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, I was. There's a reason that I'm doing what I do.

[JD Ryan]

You're a very mature.

[John Clay Wolf]

I've had a funny bone in me for a long time, apparently.

[JD Ryan]

At least.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And we were leaving these bad messages. Then the neighbors were calling and talking about their daughter. They had an answer machine, too, but we were disguising our voice. It didn't really work real well.

[JD Ryan]

I understand.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is before all that.

[JD Ryan]

I know. So they weren't sure who was doing it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Carter's mom and my Mom, Carter's over at the house. Hey, Carter's gonna come over to play after school. Great. Cool. And his mom comes over, and they come in like, hey, boys, we want to talk to you. And. Okay. What's up? Did y' all call and leave messages on a answering machine? What's an answering machine, Mom.

[JD Ryan]

What's that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Right? So she's really digging deep, and I'm just lying, lying, lying, lying. And then she pulls out the tape record.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, man. Oh, no. And.

[John Clay Wolf]

And they start playing it back for us in front of them, right?

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, dude, it was bad.

[JD Ryan]

Busted.

[Bobbo]

Busted.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bad. Yeah, but it was deeper than being busted. It's like, what the hell is wrong with you, dude? You're seven.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. Really? Where do you come up with banging your mom? Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

And it's the postman. It happened to be our postman. Random.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my.

[John Clay Wolf]

Random. So Carter calls me with a random guy's answering machine as our postman, and that's how he recognized my voice.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Bobbo]

You should always try to never interfere with federal authorities.

[John Clay Wolf]

God Almighty.

[Bobbo]

That could be very bad.

[John Clay Wolf]

I guess the biggest lie I ever told my mom.

[JD Ryan]

But she didn't buy it. No, you didn't get away with that at all. Audio tape. John's busted. His first lie. I'm busted with audio.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know. They hung up. They hung a paddle at eye level for me pretty early on.

[JD Ryan]

Have you done that to your kids?

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll never forget my mother crying on the couch. Couch. What am I gonna do first grade? If you go to the office one more time. I was in private school. They are going to expel you. Do you understand what that means? John coming back? You don't act like this at home. What's wrong? I commit with your teachers. And you're so good at home. What the heck are you doing at school? What's wrong? They were, like, really thinking. I was, like, not cursed. Like, something was really bad. So my. I've got three sons, and my wife is just like, what? Look at this. She, like, always, come look at this. Come look at this. And I'm just thinking, I don't want to get up. Because I don't need to look at this. Because I know.

[JD Ryan]

I know what it is.

[John Clay Wolf]

I already know.

[JD Ryan]

I cop this.

[John Clay Wolf]

This all comes naturally, baby. And she comes from socialist Denmark, where everybody's white and shiny and fresh and clean.

[JD Ryan]

They don't spank, and they don't spank, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

And. And I'm like, I told you to get another paddle. I had a paddle. For him. And she hit it or somebody hit it like you need another paddle. I can fix this. I know what they're doing and I know how to. I know the remedy if you'll let me. I got the prescription and it's ass beaten. That's all they're going to understand.

[JD Ryan]

But she won't let you.

[John Clay Wolf]

She, she, she, she under. She, she will kind of let me. Yeah.

[Turley]

Not to the extent that it needs, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

But I don't try to overdo it. I don't want to really. All you gotta do is give a real good ass beating once and then just the paddle in hand straightens things out. You don't have to beat ass like every other day. You gotta beat ass about once a quarter.

[Bobbo]

It is a very nuanced endeavor though. You can, you know, I mean you can get weird pretty quick, right? You should never discipline your kids when you're angry.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know. I think three good full on licks. Yeah, but you gotta be careful because if you overcome do it, then the teachers are going to be calling you. Oh, these days, I'm telling you, these kids of mine, they need it. Dude, I don't.

[Bobbo]

I mean, have they gotten it?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, well then.

[John Clay Wolf]

But it's been like two years cuz they hit the paddle from me.

[JD Ryan]

Oh well, buy another one. I know I don't want to make it you for father's day.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's wrong with these kids? What's wrong with these boys? I don't understand. I call my mom and she, you know, she's never seen anything like this either. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Oh well guess who has ass whipping once a quarter.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good ass whooping once a quarter will keep people on the high and mighty. The little ones. That's my mother's day advice.

[JD Ryan]

There you go.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. JOHN F K. Tim, what's your biggest lie to your mom?

[Caller]

Well, it's back in the college days, we had these bongs in our apartment.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Told my mom they were flower vase.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did she go for it? I mean were they like real ones or were they like pottery? You made an art class? Because we did that.

[Caller]

You know, back late 70s, early 80s. They bong started taking on color and shapes and they were rather, they were rather pretty. We actually did use them as decorative.

[John Clay Wolf]

What did you do with the load thing with the carb and all that? Did you pull it out when it was flower time?

[Caller]

Well, they never actually had flowers in them.

[John Clay Wolf]

No. I believe you. But that little thing that Holds the weed. Did you yank it off?

[Caller]

Yeah. You would cover it up.

[John Clay Wolf]

And did she go for all this?

[Caller]

The whole. Until she found out. Saw it on a movie one time. It all started coming together and.

[Bobbo]

Unbelievable.

[Caller]

That's the fun part, guys, is when you're having to reach down and lie more to explain your life.

[Bobbo]

Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

Thanks for calling. I see the 09 Dooley. We do me this on the Ford F350. We go to giveme the VIN. Givemetheven.com put the VIN number, push a couple pictures. My guys will email you an offer this morning before lunch.

[Bobbo]

You know, one time my friend Toddy threw two goldfish in mine when my mom walked into our apartment.

[John Clay Wolf]

Two goldfish? Where?

[Turley]

Into your bong.

[Bobbo]

Into the bong.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[Bobbo]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did it work? Yeah. That's awesome. Sullins made one in art class. And. And he like drilled a little hole because when he got home he was trying to make it like a vase.

[Bobbo]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

He drilled a little hole because when he got home he's going to take a file and file that hole out. And then he took a 8 millimeter socket out of his socket set or jimbo socket set and then took a little straw and taped that in and then he'd slide it into that hole and he had his deal. Excellent. But the art teacher was an old hippie and he let him know, hey, buddy, you ain't pulling one over on me. I'm cool with it. But don't think that I don't understand what you're making, sugar lips. The art teacher went as far to say, hey, you need to put a carb on it or it ain't gonna work.

[Bobbo]

Made in shop class. I've seen a hundred of those deals.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, the things made in shop class. That should be next weekend.

[Turley]

Oh, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, God. The things made in shop class. JD what's in the news?

[JD Ryan]

Let's see here. Well, this week, Demisha Neal, this is in Houston middle school students. She wanted to buy some lunch, so she took her two dollar bill in. Right. Legal tender. Well, the local police department didn't think so. They actually investigated her thinking that there is no such thing as a $2 bill. And they basically pulled her out and investigated the big two dollar bill scammed. Fact is, it's legal tender and the police is an idiot.

[Lucy]

Oh.

[JD Ryan]

We'll talk more about the major recall coming up with airbags in a couple of minutes. And what else do we have more?

[John Clay Wolf]

Who's getting recall?

[JD Ryan]

The. The airbag recall. That's a kind of airbags that's even more cars. Now we'll talk more about that dude.

[John Clay Wolf]

That'S causing me a problem in my business.

[JD Ryan]

I would think so.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[JD Ryan]

In all the car businesses that will.

[John Clay Wolf]

My name is John Clay Wolf. We will be back uno momento. Poor favor. You can call in 800-800-RODIO if you got any mom lies for this biggest mom lies for this holiday weekend. And JDN told his. Yeah, be right back.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1-800-800-RADIO. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

So, JD on this mother's Day weekend. Mike, he needs a mic. What is the biggest lie you ever told him?

[JD Ryan]

All mine's so lame compared to yours, I can't even tell mine.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Softy. Candy ass. JD Swinger. Racist boy. Ex drunk. Bible beating. JD okay.

[JD Ryan]

I'm all those things. I'm almost all those things. It was real simple. It was Texas, Oklahoma weekend. I was just turned 16. So I was driving. This is embarrassing. You remember the Kojak police lights? The little lights you could snap on top of the Carskin?

[John Clay Wolf]

Hutch.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, Starsky and Hutch. Okay. I had one of those because I'm a geek.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. So I believe that. Go ahead.

[JD Ryan]

Totally happened. Went downtown with a bunch of my buddies. We took the color.

[John Clay Wolf]

Was your light red? Okay.

[JD Ryan]

Illegal, right? As. As bad as it can be.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Plugs into the cigarette lighter, correct?

[JD Ryan]

Yes. So we go downtown.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're just magnet.

[JD Ryan]

We're having fun. We're being stupid. We're 16. We're Uber downtown. It's Texas, Oklahoma weekend. We're, you know, not even drinking. That's. Yeah, that's how geeky we were. It's one o'. Clock, two o' clock in the morning. Now we're driving home. I have the light up on top of my.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on. He said he wasn't drinking. He's a geek because he wasn't drinking at 16.

[JD Ryan]

At 16.

[John Clay Wolf]

I disagree with that statement, but go ahead.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, whatever.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't judge geekiness by 16 year olds getting wasted and driving around.

[Lucy]

JD don't let your friends make you tell this story.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, stop. Mom.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mom.

[JD Ryan]

My mother's dead.

[Lucy]

What if your comedian friend puts a needle in that microphone?

[Tyrone]

Oh, my God.

[Lucy]

You poke your eye out.

[JD Ryan]

My mother's coming back from the garage.

[Lucy]

Because of John Clay Wolf.

[JD Ryan]

Let me get over this horrible story really quick.

[Lucy]

You don't have to tell me.

[JD Ryan]

So I put the magnetic thing on top of the car as I'm dropping my buddies off to be funny. I Turn the light on, right? So I turn anyway. It's hard because it's a magnet. It won't come off the car. I'm about two miles from home. I'll leave it on the car and I'll drive home. Right as I pull up to an intersection, there's a damn Dallas police car that pulls up right beside me. I reach up to go get this damn thing off my roof, and my finger hits it, and all I can hear is the little motor going, oh, no. And then he turns his lights on and drives me home. That's the end of the story. So we wakes up my mother, and I told her that was my friend's light and that he put it on the car. I did not know it was there. All that was a lie. She believed me because I'm her little angel. And she looked at the police and said, my son would never do that.

[Lucy]

And they were drinking that night, weren't you, Jackie?

[JD Ryan]

And they let me go. So I lied to my mother about the Dallas police. Well, see, I told you it was lame.

[Lucy]

God, I had drinking that night.

[JD Ryan]

No good stories. I had no terrible stories.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mommy said he wasn't drinking.

[Lucy]

You don't drink anymore.

[JD Ryan]

I wasn't drinking that night, and I don't drink anymore.

[Lucy]

You and your friend Russ. No, it wasn't Russ drinking all the time.

[JD Ryan]

It wasn't Russ.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bunch of alcoholics. Couple of damn alcoholics.

[Lucy]

You got me so worried about you all the time.

[JD Ryan]

So embarrassed.

[Lucy]

Have you had a bath?

[JD Ryan]

I had a bath this morning, mom.

[Lucy]

God, you need to always be clean and wholesome.

[JD Ryan]

Well, you go bath my little boy. Yeah.

[Lucy]

Happy Mother's Day, son.

[John Clay Wolf]

Speaking of lies. Has anybody seen this beavers deal out of Middle Othan, Texas, where the. The lady, the workout lady, the fitness instructor murdered in the church.

[JD Ryan]

In the church? Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

On my Facebook page. I don't think I have it on the show page. John Clay will show page.

[JD Ryan]

Is this the video they had on Fox for.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did they play it?

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, because. So they have the video of the person in the church that morning that.

[JD Ryan]

Murdered her who has kind of unusual gay.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's Des. He's decked out in police gear.

[JD Ryan]

He or she.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And he has a very weird. She has a very odd walk. And then the father and the father, the husband and the father in law do a press conference last week.

[JD Ryan]

They come walking out.

[John Clay Wolf]

Walking out of the police office station.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And the damn father in law has the exact same crazy duck walk and the same stance and the same hunch, and he's being defensive.

[Bobbo]

And he's showing all kinds of signs of lying too.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, talk about lies.

[Bobbo]

Yeah. Psychologists can tell if your eyes look to the left or if he, if you ask permission to tell the story. He keeps saying, okay, that's what happened. Okay. And that's the story.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Bobbo]

Exactly what he says, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

That's exactly what he says. Yeah. It's creepy, it's. I can't believe they haven't picked him up.

[JD Ryan]

They're oddly still. Well, first of all, the cops aren't telling you everything.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, of course.

[JD Ryan]

And they're. And they're waiting to get all the information from them before they pick anybody up. It just, the whole thing is just weird.

[Turley]

Why?

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know.

[JD Ryan]

But yeah, you're right. The grand. The homeboy's going, the dad walks out with that exact same walk.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean like send chills up your back when you see like oh my God, that's him. Yeah, maybe I'm wrong.

[Turley]

It's alleged.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't want to get in trouble. Boy, I sure you know what's my sixth sense?

[JD Ryan]

Humble opinion.

[Bobbo]

He and his dad both look like just your common everyday, not even full on hillbilly. Just like a 2 3rd hillbilly type that you see everywhere you go in this part of the world.

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[Bobbo]

From the red to the Rio Grande.

[John Clay Wolf]

That talk.

[Bobbo]

Baseball cap, sunglasses on top of the baseball cap, golf shirt, good tan straight out of cast high tied haircut. Killers, killers, killers. Tonight, no, you can't tell anymore. Like you know, Charlie Manson's obviously killer, you know, now they look just like us.

[John Clay Wolf]

8007234 is the call in number 880, 800 radio. If you got a good lie, you told your mom. We're listening to those this morning.

[Turley]

Or if you want to sell John your car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, if you want to sell me your car, you call 800-800-RODIO, give me year, make, model, miles. We're going to get into some more car. I want to talk about the auction this week and what we did have the car markets doing. We haven't talked to any cars today at all. Bit a couple but. But haven't. I need to explain to people because we're on the Eagle now on a, on a new hour. We're on a new station in Houston and you kind of need to introduce myself to the listeners.

[Turley]

Okay, we got some time a minute.

[John Clay Wolf]

Let them know what we do. I've got a minute to do it. Well, we'll do it when we come back because we'll have about 12 minutes to do it. In the meantime, hangover starting to kick.

[Bobbo]

In a little bit to givemethevin.com and just scope it out, take a look.

[John Clay Wolf]

See what it is.

[Bobbo]

You can see obviously there's a place to put your make and model and your miles of the car. Maybe just dump the VIN in.

[John Clay Wolf]

We don't need make and model because.

[Bobbo]

John Clay Wolf's special magic trick is that he can bid your car side unseen and get your money for it and have you done within a few days.

[John Clay Wolf]

We come to your house, we come to your office, we come wherever you tell us to. We do the whole deal online.

[JD Ryan]

We're not, we don't just show up.

[Bobbo]

Not in police gear. Don't get nervous.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll explain it all in a minute.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

Helen Wheels. Hello.

[JD Ryan]

Easy.

[Bobbo]

I love that album, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Which one is it?

[Bobbo]

That's been on the run, ain't it?

[Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know.

[Turley]

Yes, who?

[John Clay Wolf]

My Beatles historian.

[Bobbo]

Band on the run.

[John Clay Wolf]

What time is it, man?

[JD Ryan]

It is 10:45, Central Time, Texas time. Texas Johnny Ocean Show. Good morning on your radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, Charlie, anything happened funny happened at the auction this week? Those Highline cars I had up in Pennsylvania did well. So you guys, let me introduce myself to you new listeners on on. We're on different hours now and we're on some new stations. I'm. I've been in the car business for 20 years. I buy and sell cars dealer to dealer. I'm the guy that buys your trade in at the dealership. That's what I've been doing forever. And we started this radio show on the showroom floor of my Ford dealership outside of wichita Falls about 10 years ago be 10 years ago in June. Sold the dealership, enjoyed the radio, moved back home to Dallas, Fort Worth, got on a big station and started doing the show for friends of mine that owned car dealerships. But the problem is the car dealerships weren't really into buying the cars.

[JD Ryan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, you'd say 10 grand on an Odyssey van with 100,000 miles and they show up at the car dealership and they're like, well, we don't really buy that. And I'm like, dude, I told him I'd give them ten grand. And you're my dealer affiliate. Well, this isn't in our. Our computer says this doesn't sell at our place. We'd sell this to you normally Then buy it from them and sell it to me. You. Well, we don't want to go through that trouble. Yeah, why would we want to? Our controller will ask questions. Why we're writing a chance check in and out of me. If we buy it from them for 10, we gotta sell it to you for profit. I'm like, I'm not giving you nothing. Yeah. So this thing slowly morphed over to, you know, screw you, dealers. They're good for selling cars, right? I'll buy the damn cars. And that's where I came up with givemetheven.com because dealer to dealer transactions, when we're. When we're texting each other all day, sure, I need the VIN number. Because our systems will decode the VINs. We know what we're looking at. Pull the car fast. I'll give 10 grand. I'll give 50 grand. I'll give 100. 20 grand. I'll give 500.

[JD Ryan]

But with the VIN, you know what you're dealing with.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. So I'm like, why don't I just do that for the public? Give them a website they can dump their stuff into, and then we're professionals, and I'll bid the damn cars. So we start doing that, we start buying cars. All right, now how do we pick them up?

[JD Ryan]

And we have them. What are we doing?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, we don't have them because we bought them, but we told them we'd come get them. But we don't know how to get them, because had we forgot about that. Well, you know, we offered Domino's delivery, but we didn't hire him. Delivery people. We have a few, but not as many as we needed. So then I was like, okay, I got to figure this out. And. Been working on it. Working on it. It's been a year in the making, and we really got it. I've got transport trucks all over the great state of Texas, seriously bringing them in. So right now, if you go to givemethevin.com and you put your stuff in, you make the deal with one of my buyers, you write back, accept we do the deal. Then we'll have your car picked up in a day or two, and we'll have the check. We FedEx the check to our drivers, okay? Our drivers go to the houses, come to my house, and inspect the car against the way you described it in the pictures we have, because we give them a condition report. Okay? It's got a ding on the right front fender. The check, engine lights on. But if there's more than that, then they call us, say, hey, man, this thing's whacked on the ass end.

[JD Ryan]

It's got no rear end.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right. Okay, well, they didn't tell us that. That rarely happens, by the way. So we pick the cars up, we bring them back, and then I redistribute them to other dealers. I make about 300 bucks a car clean after it's all said and done. And that's my business. And that's what I was doing all along. I've been traveling for years, chasing cars auction to auction, going through Louisiana, buying all these cars. I'm sick of traveling. Let's take this radio show that we enjoy doing.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

And turn it into a business where I can buy the cars from the public, give them the money, not let the dealers get between us, and the cars come to me instead of me having to go get them.

[JD Ryan]

Everybody wins when you're.

[Turley]

And who really wins is the person that sells you the vehicle, because they don't have to go to a dealership and get that whole haggling and.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, my God, it's terrible. Yes, It's. It's awful. I mean, there was a guy yesterday and 267,000 mile diesel. We gave 10,000. They're at the dealership, trying to trade it in. They're giving them six.

[JD Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Well, Wolf's 10. Well, we're. Don't. They didn't say Wolf. They said, give me the vin. And the dealership didn't know, give me the vin. So they're going through the whole thing. He's like, we don't do in and outs, and we don't honor that. It's six. And so the customer calls us back. Back. Hey, can you help us? And so somebody called. Who? Was it you that called? Yeah. Nissan McKinney.

[Turley]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

GMC? No, no, they didn't give him six. I don't know what they gave him, but they were back of us. And then they. They. They said, yeah. Oh, it's John Wolf. Great. Sure, we'll take his draft. So I did it in and out with the dealership. We go over them, pick the cart from the dealership. We do that all the time, too.

[JD Ryan]

So if you know where you want to buy a car, you donate.

[John Clay Wolf]

But really, CarMax. So CarMax has the brand of buying all these cars.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

They've been doing that for 20 years around Texas. And if you're at CarMax getting your appraisal done, just take a picture of it, send it to us in the website. If we don't beat it, we'll send you $100 period. If that doesn't shut everybody up, what does?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Clay Wolf]

So we either beat it or send you. You're gonna get $100 one way or another. And we'll typically beat it by more than a hundred dollars, by the way. But if we say pass, let Carmax have it. And it happens every once in a while, Connie will call me, say, hey, here's one. They. I got a check request because I always want to know, because I want to take another look at it, make sure I don't want to buy it. But most of the time I'm like, yeah, let him have it. And so we'll FedEx. I'm gonna check for Hunsky. But that's. That's. That's what all this give me the VIN crap is. And that's where it's coming from. It's not crap. It's something that I've been working on forever, but it's really coming around. And the logistics is the key. The website's female and the people that work on the other end, we're not. We are a dot com, but there's a lot of. We have a bullpen full of cubicles and people in there that are trained car guys.

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

We know what we're doing. We know what we're looking at. This. I mean, I still buy twice as many cars personally as give me the VIN does from dealerships and auctions. I mean, we buy and sell 100, 200 cars a week.

[JD Ryan]

That's a lot.

[John Clay Wolf]

So. And you guys are like thinking, oh, I wonder if the check's good? Or I wonder if you'll really pay my bank offer. Hey, just Google me, John Clay Wolf's my name. Google me up. You'll see what we do, how we do it. I'm real. I've been doing this for 20. I'm gonna say 20, 21 years. I don't want to age myself too much, but yeah. And we've been on the radio for almost 10. So we've got a new cool thing that puts. Everybody wants a dealership buddy. Oh, the trusted friend, right?

[JD Ryan]

You found it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And it lit. Really is a new way to do things. And it's working well. And if you go to the Better Business bureau site and look at our reviews, you'll see what people are saying. They're excited. I mean, Mike, you've just been working and give me the vim for two weeks now. What are you coming up with?

[Turley]

Oh, yeah, it's like people don't believe how easy it is. That's what they're like. Okay, so I'm gonna get a check now. That's it. I mean it literally, it could take no more than 15 minutes. It can literally do that if you get all your ducks in a row. Pitchers are nice by the way, people. When you take a photo, right, step back from the car, don't just take a photo of the headlight.

[JD Ryan]

We don't want to see the headlight.

[Turley]

No, we need to see the whole vehicle. But yeah, it's real simple.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, yeah, yesterday There was a 13 or 12 Bentley Speed GT and I hit the guy at 100, 115 grand real quick. I had pictures I took. I have some secret tools that I can use. And the guys ran it into me, said, hey, you need to do this when there's a heavy. And I sent him an offer letter for 115 and he texts back. I never talked to him. We just text through the system, you know, he said, where are y' all located? I said, before you start all that, yes, we're real. Yes, the money's good. Yeah, quit worrying about it. Yeah, because it's too easy. You know, he came to our website, he's got a $115,000 offer there. Right there on the comments I put assuming condition is what a nine thousand mile hundred thousand dollar Bentley would be in. But they, they, they're set back because they actually get what they. It's too easy. It's too easy.

[JD Ryan]

You're expecting a half.

[John Clay Wolf]

It'll take a while for the public to come off of that.

[JD Ryan]

We've had a whole lifetime getting whipped.

[Turley]

Well, how long did it take for Amazon.com for people to trust just buying something and it shows up your door and it's actually right. It took a couple years.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, it took a couple years and we just started this low speed, soft pitch last March and now we're getting with it and we're adding more stations and we're fixing to add more states. And it's exciting, it's fun. But yeah, I'll. I buy cars, man. I mean, it's not a joke.

[Turley]

You buy cars and then you talk BS here.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you've got junk, I'm gonna bid it like junk. If it's back at 500, I'm gonna send you a letter that says I don't want it. No soup for you. I'm not a junk dealer. It cost me more money to handle a pile of junk than the things worth is the problem.

[JD Ryan]

You gotta move It.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean. I mean, here's one. I mean, it's nothing. Joe, I hate to use you as an example, but 156,000 mile 03 explorer is a $500 truck. Man. You there?

[Caller]

Really? Okay, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Listen. Adam Sandler, Michael 08 Ford F150. Is it XL or XLT?

[Caller]

XL.

[John Clay Wolf]

XL. Is it four wheel drive or two?

[Caller]

2.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does it have rubber floor mat, vinyl floors, vinyl seats, crank windows?

[Caller]

Got vinyl vinyl floors, cloth seats, crank windows.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Average, Rough or clean?

[Caller]

Average.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, it's five to six grand with 137,000 miles on it. Six grand.

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I'll give it. Just go to give me the vin, dump the VIN number and push a couple picks. Wolf said six or I'll take it or Wolf said six, but I got to have 65 or I gotta have seven. Then send us the picks and help us fall in love with it. So we'll give more.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thanks, man. 800. 800 radio is how they got to me and you can get to me. Right now it is 10:55 Texas time. We're coming off the Houston and Dallas stations. We're staying on the rest of them. And you can get us on the [e-mail] click listen live half of the Houston station next hour. That's right. That's right. That's right. Never trust a man from Houston. Why? Just don't. Hey, we get nicer cars out of Houston than we do out of Dallas.

[Turley]

That Bentley came from.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's where the Porsche came from. That's where the Maseratis came from. That's where the Rolls came from. That's where the hurricane came from.

[Turley]

We did get a nice vet from Dallas.

[John Clay Wolf]

We did get a six. Really nice Z06 boy. Wow.

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

One of those run just for interest sake.

[John Clay Wolf]

I gave 81,000 for it. It's going to run through metro auto auction on Tuesday morning. Lane a car number one. And I hope it makes money. But you know what? If it loses money, guess what? I'm selling that bitch.

[JD Ryan]

Yes. $1,000.

[John Clay Wolf]

And that's when I sell them. I sell them as hard as I buy them. I lose money all the time. You guys would never believe me if you. We make money, we lose money, we break even. But I'm working an average. That's why we just buy and buy and buy and buy them and then we flush them out. We hand lay the ones that we have demand for, that we have orders for. And the rest of my sell in my auction Lane in Dallas. Cars bring more in Dallas boys and girls. I'm sorry, but they do. Houston dealers come to Dallas to buy cars because Dallas cars are nicer. I don't know why, but the perception of it is so. And we sell 92, 93% in our auction lane, and I just sell them. I mean, If I give 10. We bought a Jeep last week for 16. I sold it for 13 on Tuesday. First pass. You know why? It was a cloth stick shift, Soft top, two door, crappy wheels. Yeah, we missed it. We overpaid. The guy won that. He bought it. We bought it from. I mean, why keep jacking with it? We screwed up when we bought it. There's. There's cars we buy and we make two grand on it.

[JD Ryan]

Move it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, there's cars that we buy for 50 grand and we think we're so screwed and they wind up making a thousand dollars. It's the damnedest. I'm a gambler is really what I'm trying to describe here. But. But we do. I've been doing it long enough that I come up in the. In the black at the end of the day most of the time. Have you ever seen us get off the auction block in red? Ah, just a little bit, man.

[Turley]

No, it's very close.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just a touch.

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like, there was one day we made $20 on like a million three. Yeah.

[Turley]

I mean, it was so close. Oh, yeah. And it was like, really? All that work for all that work. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

You guys from West Texas, Amarillo. You know, the far reaching, the rough trucks, Let us know because a Dallas truck is nicer than an Amarillo truck that's been run up and down ranch roads. And we got. We got to bid them different and we. Well, you know, I heard you say 25,000 for that one. Yeah, that one was nice. Yours not. Yours was 21. Well, it's the same thing. No, let's look at it. It's scratched up, it's mudded up, it's beat up. I mean, you know, you shot a hole in the floorboard that night. You got drunk with a.45. I gotta fix all that stuff.

[Bobbo]

Dustin Gully. Dustin Gully.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's weird. And we get these pictures from, you know, different places now that we're on different stations. And especially like New Mexico looks like Walter White sending us his photos from Breaking Bad. And Jesse's in the background. I mean, it's just desert. And then you get pictures from. From people's garages all the time. Like, hey, can you move that bicycle a little bit? I Can't see the back fender.

[Tyrone]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just really take.

[Turley]

If you're trying to sell your car, you want people to see it.

[JD Ryan]

Sure.

[Turley]

Back up, take a good photo. I don't know how many times people, they'll sometimes just take a photo of their. The emblem of the car and that's it. Like, okay, yeah, I know that car now.

[Bobbo]

It's definitely a Chevrolet.

[John Clay Wolf]

Exactly. Thanks. It's definitely a Chevrolet. JD we don't have much time. I talk cars so much.

[JD Ryan]

All right, you want to talk about the Takata airbag real quick? Well, first of all, they said as many as 40 million additional airbags now. First they said 24 million. Now it's still 40 million. They say eventually probably be 50 million of these need to be replaced.

[John Clay Wolf]

Coda's got to file for bankruptcy. They're going to get. How they. Not. I don't know how. They haven't yet either. They're liable for all this interest, all this diminished value. All these cars that are parked.

[JD Ryan]

What's the diminished value on these big.

[John Clay Wolf]

BMW is stacking them up left and right.

[JD Ryan]

What do you. Yeah, what do you.

[John Clay Wolf]

When they trade for cars that on the recall list, they cannot sell them.

[JD Ryan]

So is now the time?

[John Clay Wolf]

It's like, it's like the diesel thing with Volkswagen. They can't sell it.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is now the time to buy one? We're buying them.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Because the BMW dealers can't sell them. So the demand's kind of okay.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

All the ragheads are like, oh, we'll sell them.

[JD Ryan]

All right.

[Bobbo]

Alleged rag 800, 807.

[John Clay Wolf]

Salami Hussein is in the business. We will be right back. Uno momento, por favor.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

My name is John Clay Wolf. We see Jacob, Juan, John, Mary, we see you on hold. We're going to get to you next. And we will be back.

[Announcer]

From the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Call John toll free. Cheap bastards 1, 800, 800 radio now. John Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, since we were on the first day of being on that central Houston stick, 94. Five the buzz.

[Bobbo]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

I called the program director during the last break and he said everything was cool. Everybody was happy. Good, good. He said, when you get a little bit blue, we get our emails start coming. Oh, and he said Bobbo's Ed Wallace bit on Elton John. Oh, about the. The penis is built like a shifter on a Peterbilt truck. That's true, though I didn't.

[JD Ryan]

Well, that's true.

[John Clay Wolf]

And the Du Claw deal.

[JD Ryan]

But that's historically accurate.

[Bobbo]

That's A clinically correct term. Well, and a size comparison that people can, you know, perceive.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, I just don't know what to do.

[Bobbo]

Should I have said a Mac tra?

[JD Ryan]

And if that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Or a Freightliner. I think if it was a Freightliner, that's all.

[JD Ryan]

That's a. That's the big diffuser right there. And everybody calms down.

[John Clay Wolf]

What, the freight liner?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. What did you say?

[Bobbo]

Freight liner. Thing about Wallace Edwards is that he always tells the truth.

[John Clay Wolf]

John does, doesn't he? But he said that the chemistry between us, you can tell that we've done this before.

[Bobbo]

The facts matter.

[JD Ryan]

You've been doing it 10 years.

[John Clay Wolf]

You've been doing it 40.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Me, I think we added up 98 years total.

[John Clay Wolf]

It wasn't 98, was it?

[Bobbo]

It was 90 something.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you take our years. Hang on. We did. Okay, so I'm 10. Baba, we've done this before. What are you? J.D. what are you.

[JD Ryan]

Hold on. I'm 44 on the radio.

[Tyrone]

Huh?

[John Clay Wolf]

Turley, what are you?

[Turley]

15?

[John Clay Wolf]

15. Baba, what are you right at 30. Okay, I can't do math because I went to Crowley High School for a couple of years, but four, five. Oh, wow. Hang on. Four, five. 99 years experience between us. One year off. 99 years experience between us. Okay, well, we should have our s together. Speaking of, do we have any s Founding cars or not this week? You know, we do have.

[Turley]

Recovering.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, we are recovering from the roach deal last week.

[Turley]

JD doesn't know. Go to the face.

[John Clay Wolf]

We forgot to talk about this.

[JD Ryan]

John Clemwell.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, yeah. Damn it. We need to talk about it next week again, but.

[Bobbo]

Right. You weren't here for this, Jason.

[John Clay Wolf]

So we bought it. We bought a rig out of Beaumont.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And the truck driver said he's not gonna drive it, so. Because it's full of roaches, I'm like, oh, he's just coming up with a reason not to move it. This damn truck drivers. And no, he was right. So they. The people bought it from the auction, they bombed it with a roach bomb, killed all the roaches. And they got it on the truck, got it up here. And everybody, when we took it to detail was like, oh, my God, you haven't seen this.

[Tyrone]

I want good have nothing to do with that bug. And fisted.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God, it was bad.

[Turley]

That's right. Tyrone drives for us.

[Tyrone]

I've never seen so many bugs in my life.

[John Clay Wolf]

So the detail shop took it on. Right, Right. Red carpet. And they had shot the detail shop down this week. They had to. They got out of the car. And they started breeding in the deal and they had to exterminate the building. And everybody ran out.

[JD Ryan]

All these bugs.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's like Joe's apartment, the joke video online. Yeah, those are roaches, dude.

[Turley]

So they said, yeah, we can't have your car stored in at our detail shop anymore because the roaches keep coming out of the car.

[Bobbo]

There's still a lot roaches like snowflakes.

[JD Ryan]

JD where was that many roaches come from in the car?

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know.

[JD Ryan]

We're not talking about dope here. We're talking about real.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're talking about.

[Bobbo]

You know what it was? You know what? I seriously think it was?

[John Clay Wolf]

What?

[Bobbo]

I think it was like an Amityville thing.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know what I mean?

[Bobbo]

Like the flies on the window. Like you had roaches in that car. Like they had flies on the window in the Amityville Horror.

[JD Ryan]

Man, this is nasty.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did the detail shop want to charge us for the extermination?

[Turley]

They have not said that yet.

[John Clay Wolf]

I bet they do.

[Turley]

I mean, we do a lot of business there.

[John Clay Wolf]

We do a lot of business.

[Turley]

But in this case, I mean, we're live.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, it's. It's our best.

[Tyrone]

That's.

[Turley]

So should we offer, like, hey, you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Could take the roaches in this thing and take a flathead shovel.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And get a full scoop with a swift. What do you have? That little short broom. Swift broom. Swift broom. Swift.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

And a flathead shovel. And it fill the whole thing.

[JD Ryan]

Were they moving?

[John Clay Wolf]

I might puke. I'm a little hungover and I'm feeling like I'm.

[Bobbo]

If I puke.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just keep talking.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[Turley]

There was a lot dead, but when you'd open a door, they start crawling out up through the windows.

[Bobbo]

Roaches in that many numbers do have their own special smell too.

[Guest Rapper]

Who.

[JD Ryan]

Who had this car?

[Turley]

Who bought it?

[JD Ryan]

Who had it?

[Bobbo]

A devil worshipper, man.

[JD Ryan]

Obviously. Obviously. Oh my God, dude, that's nasty.

[Bobbo]

So you should have got an exorcist on the thing.

[Turley]

We need to do something.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, I got a big cars. I forgot. People ran on me. Oops, sorry about that.

[Bobbo]

Bugs at your car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, does this. Jacob, does this F150 have any roaches or roach clips?

[Caller]

No, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Good, good, good. Is it XLT or a lariat or a what?

[Caller]

Xlt Crew cab.

[John Clay Wolf]

Two wheel drive, extended cab. Regular cab.

[Caller]

H. Crew cab.

[John Clay Wolf]

Crew cab. Two or four wheel drive? Four wheel drive. You're in the Amarillo. You're an Amarillo. You better have four wheel drive. XLT average. Rough or Clean.

[Caller]

It's average.

[John Clay Wolf]

Seven grand is what I wrote down.

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Can you go to givemetheven.com and send me some pictures?

[Caller]

I sure will, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do that and we'll get it picked up up there. Where are you in Amarillo? Around Amarillo.

[Caller]

I'm in, Admiral.

[Tyrone]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll get her done. We'll get her done. We'll get her done. Juan.

[Guest Rapper]

Juan.

[John Clay Wolf]

Juan. Juan. Julio.

[Turley]

Juan.

[John Clay Wolf]

Juan, you there?

[Caller]

Yeah, I'm here.

[John Clay Wolf]

08F150F. SX2 is what it says. Is that right?

[Caller]

The FX2 model.

[John Clay Wolf]

FX2. Is it leather or cloth?

[Caller]

Leather.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sunroof or navigation?

[Caller]

Yeah, it's got the navigation with a little screen on it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does it have a sunroof?

[Caller]

No sunroof.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Two or four wheel drive? A two would be two wheel drive, right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

08 with 133. 11 grand. 12 grand.

[Caller]

11?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. I'm thinking 11 to 12 grand.

[Caller]

I got you, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Is it. Is it hail beat or something?

[Caller]

Excuse me? No, no, it doesn't have any hail damage. It's got a few scratches here and there, but it's nothing major.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have a title to it?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Go to givemetheven.com Take a couple pictures of it. Put John, hit me 11 to 12 grand on the radio. Here's the photos. Here's the VIN number. I'll. I want to sell it. And we'll dig in and. And confirm and send you offer. Writing. Writing an offer letter in writing.

[Lucy]

Oh, yes. One. This is Lucy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, hi.

[Lucy]

I want to know what you want to do with your $12,000.

[John Clay Wolf]

I want to take you to Mexico, to Cabo. And I want you to make margaritas for me.

[Lucy]

John, you're embarrassing me. I'm talking to Juan.

[John Clay Wolf]

Juan left. Juan already left.

[Lucy]

Why do he go?

[John Clay Wolf]

Cuz he ran to go take pictures of his truck because he wants to sell it.

[Lucy]

Why do they always go, I want to talk to juan with these. $12,000.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you would lose a little bit of weight, Lucy.

[Lucy]

And it could take me back to Venezuela.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you would lose a little bit of weight and quit eating so many.

[Lucy]

Tacos of mango and coconut and banana, baby.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, you used to be pretty.

[Lucy]

We could have wonderful time.

[JD Ryan]

Still pretty.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're still pretty in the face. But you're still.

[Lucy]

Look at this, John.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're so fat, Lucy. You're so fat.

[Lucy]

God, look at this, John. Cha cha cha.

[John Clay Wolf]

Juan would have stayed if you.

[Lucy]

J. Ryan love me.

[JD Ryan]

I do love you, Juan.

[Lucy]

Love me too. 12,000 different ways.

[John Clay Wolf]

So will you do you want some of Juan's money?

[Lucy]

I want to take a chance on love.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's it cost?

[Lucy]

$40.

[John Clay Wolf]

That. That.

[JD Ryan]

Now would be the time to punch out, out.

[Lucy]

And you tell your friends, and I'll see you next week.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's our time, by the way, Turtle? We got time. We got what time? $40. Is that in call or out call.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[John Clay Wolf]

Stop.

[Bobbo]

She doesn't look like she's interested in it.

[John Clay Wolf]

No. Wow.

[JD Ryan]

And call at all?

[Bobbo]

How can you scare off a chick like that, man?

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know.

[Bobbo]

You gotta lower your standards, bro.

[John Clay Wolf]

J.D. tell me some news stories.

[JD Ryan]

All right, hang on.

[John Clay Wolf]

Let me tell the listeners to 800-800-7234, for 800, 800 radio. Radio. If you'd like to sell your truck, like, come on. It is funny. You try to make. I mean, this country is so changed now. You see, Juan, you're like, hey, Juan, you're expecting it. He's like, hey, man, what's up?

[JD Ryan]

What's up, dude?

[John Clay Wolf]

Right?

[JD Ryan]

Guns N Roses singer Axl Rose joining AC DC for its Rock or Bust world tour, including some US Dates. Rose is replacing Brian Johnson, of course. We talked about this earlier. Johnson joined ACDC back in 1980 after the death of the original singer, John, or Bon Scott, rather. Their first album, Back in Black, became ACDC's biggest seller of all time. Do we think they were going to come out with any new material with Axl Rose? I mean, really?

[John Clay Wolf]

We have Axl Rose in the studio this morning.

[JD Ryan]

We do.

[John Clay Wolf]

We do. We always have everybody. Dude, we're the biggest show in the region. Don't you know?

[JD Ryan]

I understand.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have you even seen. Have you ever seen Saturday Night Live? We are Saturday Morning Live.

[Bobbo]

People are wondering how this happened. I'm telling you what happened. Axel got wind of this fast.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, ask him. He's right here.

[Bobbo]

When you heard Brian Jones is gone.

[John Clay Wolf]

He'S like, brian Jones is fine. Oh, my God. Hello, Angus, this is Axel Rose. Hey, Turley. Do you hear? I'm on the telephone, baby. Turley, do you have any. I've got dc. Do you have a walk all over you or anything? And we can let Axel sing us some AC dc, maybe. Yeah, let me.

[Turley]

Let me.

[John Clay Wolf]

That would be entertaining to me. I don't know about. I don't know about the rest of the listeners, but I know that I'd like to. While we have Axel here in the studio, I'd like to hear a little his improv of some of our favorite AC DC hits. Whole lot of Rosie.

[Turley]

Hell's bells Drink on me no. Shoot the thrill Black and black Black and black.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no, no. That's way too overplayed. I want the good one.

[Turley]

I'm just pulling stuff real quick here. Shook me all night long. Highway to Hell.

[John Clay Wolf]

Highway to Hell's pretty good. Okay, so, Axel, could you do us a Highway to Hell? Here it is, guys. Breaking right here.

[JD Ryan]

Sound like.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, here we go.

[JD Ryan]

The new stuff. The new stuff from acdc.

[John Clay Wolf]

Highway to Hell re released right here on the junk show.

[JD Ryan]

What?

[Bobbo]

What?

[JD Ryan]

I don't.

[John Clay Wolf]

One way ride.

[JD Ryan]

I don't understand what you're saying. What are you saying?

[John Clay Wolf]

She's in my side. Welcome to the jungle, baby.

[JD Ryan]

You're gonna die.

[Turley]

Wrong song.

[JD Ryan]

Wrong song.

[John Clay Wolf]

We should get familiar with the lyrics. Angus, that'd be brilliant.

[Turley]

Everybody's bleeding right now, listening into their car.

[Bobbo]

They're gonna just pick one.

[John Clay Wolf]

Just any.

[Bobbo]

Any song. Any song.

[John Clay Wolf]

Brandon. Brandon. Hag. Hag.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

What do you think about Axl Rose playing for acdc?

[Caller]

Are you there?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. What do you think about Axel singing for acdc?

[Tyrone]

Whatever.

[John Clay Wolf]

Work. Yeah, okay. There's a. There. There. There's a good endorsement for you, Axel. 05 GTO with 128,000 miles. What color?

[Caller]

Black.

[John Clay Wolf]

Average. Rough or clean? And don't say clean unless it's clean, because there's a big difference. Is a. An older car with a lot of miles on it. I don't mean. Does it have a sunroof?

[Caller]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

Anything mechanically wrong with it?

[Caller]

No, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where in Oklahoma you be from?

[Caller]

Mountain View. It's near Lawton.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, I'm thinking. God, I'm thinking six grand. We sold that last one for 58. 50. 50. 200, Charlie. But it wasn't very nice.

[Turley]

You think this one's nice?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, he's saying it's nice, but it's from Oklahoma, man. You know about the boys from Oklahoma. They roll their joints all wrong.

[Turley]

Red dirt all over it.

[Bobbo]

And they drive trucks, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Brandon, what do you take for it?

[Caller]

I couldn't take.

[JD Ryan]

I don't know.

[Caller]

I spent three grand on the transmission.

[Turley]

Oh, whose fault's that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, it's your fault. 800. 800. 7 2, 3, 4 8. 800 radio Justin. A14 ELR Caddy. Did she write that down right? Because I'm not familiar with the elr she did elr. Elr.

[Caller]

The electric one two door.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, damn. Wow.

[Caller]

Really know about it.

[John Clay Wolf]

You bought. You're one of those guys that actually bought one of those.

[Caller]

Yeah. The best car I've ever owned.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh. Why you want to sell It. I'm just.

[Caller]

I'm just calling just to see what it's worth. I can't find it anywhere online.

[Bobbo]

And just why is that?

[Turley]

He has the only one out there.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna have to look up five.

[Caller]

Of them in Houston.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna look up on MMR and see what the auction transactions look like. It's a 14 Cadillac ELR.

[Bobbo]

I'm dying to hear this.

[John Clay Wolf]

So do you plug. Excuse me. Is it a hybrid or is it a straight up electric?

[Caller]

It's a hybrid.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Caller]

It's got a little. A little guy in there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Caller]

1.3, I believe, or 2.3 Little Pony motor.

[John Clay Wolf]

Wow. These are kind of expensive.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Tyrone]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

30,000 miles. It made it that far. That's the good news. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Does it have leather roof and navigation?

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Caller]

No roof. No. I'm sorry. They didn't make them with the roof.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. 30,000 miles. Well, I mean, am I bidding it to buy it or we just talking.

[Caller]

We're just talking a 25 grand.

[Tyrone]

Okay.

[Caller]

Alrighty. Wow. Thank you.

[John Clay Wolf]

I see some sales on here. I'm looking at current auction results.

[Caller]

Been kind of going through.

[John Clay Wolf]

The Highest one was 30,300 and it had 5,000 miles. And then there's two here that had 10,000. No, there's two here that had 10 thousand miles that brought 28. Four. Wow. And then here's one that had 31 that brought 22. Seven. And one that had 43 brought 24. Five. Mid twenties. 25 grand. 800, 872 Trefo. 800872 Trefo. Give me the VIN. Give me the VIN. Give me the VIN is our website. You can go there and we will email you a written offer letter. The more information you put on there, the better. That offer letter is if you're real ghosty and you don't give us what we need, we just put a range there, like 10 to 15 grand. Because we need to get the info. The VIN numbers don't always fully decode. But we'll be right back after these messages.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf show.

[John Clay Wolf]

You sure they're with us? Yes. Good morning, everyone. We've got. We've got a minute to talk and then we go back to the commercial derby. Get the cars lined up for the derby.

[JD Ryan]

There you go.

[John Clay Wolf]

What. What's coming up in the rest of the shower? I'm whipped.

[JD Ryan]

Are you? Well, you came in a little. What, hungover? Can we say it?

[John Clay Wolf]

I was better this morning when I was still a little bit tipsy.

[JD Ryan]

Wired when we hit the air 8. Wired.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was ready.

[JD Ryan]

You were, man, you were bouncing off the wall.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna sleep like a baby this afternoon. Anybody wants to talk to me, don't call me because I'm going to sleep. What'd you say, Charlie?

[Turley]

Oh, we've got time. I forgot this is the hour. We're back to the normal schedule here.

[John Clay Wolf]

So we're good? Yes. Okay. Yes. All right. That's what I was like. Cuz we're doing that one minute hit.

[Turley]

In that new clock that would have been right here.

[John Clay Wolf]

You even sure we're right?

[Turley]

Yeah, I'm. Yes, because that's what we said to him.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, well, there's no way to know. No.

[JD Ryan]

How you feeling?

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm feeling like I'm coming down off of a. I woke up. So I had some beers with a buddy last night and then I got home and went to bed at 8 and my wife said, quote, don't do that. You'll wake up at 2 and not go back to sleep.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I said, quote, you don't know what you're talking about.

[JD Ryan]

Babe.

[John Clay Wolf]

Babe. And I Woke up at 2:30. So she was wrong. It was 2:30, not 2. And I never went back to sleep.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

So I got here all high and ready to go and now I'm coming down.

[JD Ryan]

You were bouncing, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Coffee Dub. I need some more coffee.

[JD Ryan]

Speaking of coffee, Starbucks, you. You know, everyone's been through Starbucks. Have you ever got something cold at Starbucks?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Okay. You know, frivolous lawsuits are kind of off the hook these days. Well, they.

[John Clay Wolf]

This will be great.

[JD Ryan]

A Starbucks customer from Chicago has now filed a 5 million. That's with an m. Million dollar lawsuit against Starbucks accusing them of too much ice in their cold drink.

[John Clay Wolf]

I love ice, but that stuff at a dollar an ounce. I understand where he's coming from.

[JD Ryan]

Stacy Pincus claims that while Starbucks advertises its cold drinks by the fluid ounce, the number are only accurate when ice is added to the drink. Okay. Starbucks basically. Basically saying, hey, you put too much ice in here. I didn't get as much as soda, but 5. Explain to me how you've got $5 million coming. Ever you go back on when the hot pickle landed on the chick from McDonald's and she got like $12 million.

[John Clay Wolf]

Did she get paid? Yes. Didn't the chick want the hot pickle Hang on. I gotta grab. I gotta grab. Bradley. Bradley. Good morning. You're on the air.

[JD Ryan]

Do that.

[Caller]

Bradley, how you doing?

[John Clay Wolf]

Good, good. Where are you calling from?

[Tyrone]

Where?

[John Clay Wolf]

Where?

[Caller]

Brazoria, Texas.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where is Brazoria? It's down. I've heard of it.

[Caller]

45 minutes south of Houston.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so you're down by Galveston or Texas City or.

[Caller]

No, more like Lake Jackson, Angleton area.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Freeport Transport is going to charge us more to go get that one. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. How much is going to cost me.

[Bobbo]

To get it home?

[John Clay Wolf]

It's going to cost me 250 to get it. Always what's going to cost me. But I'll go get it. Bradley's got a 04 Ford Exploder with 38. Does it have legs?

[JD Ryan]

14.

[Caller]

2014.

[John Clay Wolf]

I meant that. I'm just. I'm. I'm losing my mind.

[Caller]

Tired.

[JD Ryan]

Here's the good part. John's really tired. So the next 30 minutes is the time to call.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, yeah, you'll. You'll get me giving lazy bids. I don't have any fight left.

[JD Ryan]

I don't know. 50 grand. Just take it.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, Just let me all. Let me out of here. 50 grand. Is it. Is it leather, sunroof, navigation?

[Caller]

Everything except for sunroof, but does have leather.

[John Clay Wolf]

What color is it?

[Caller]

Black on black.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's XLT. Black. Black with.

[Caller]

They actually added DVDs in the back of the headrest, but I also have the original headrest if you want those.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Twenty, 20, 20, 20, 20, twenty, twenty. It's got 38, so it's out of factory warranty. Bumper to bumper.

[Caller]

It's got. I actually have extended warranty. It's 37, 7, 19.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, so if I bought this car.

[Caller]

My wife's been driving it back and forth to school and back.

[John Clay Wolf]

So if I buy this car from you right now, what's she gonna drive?

[Caller]

Actually, we're in the process of leaving the country next year, so we're getting out of a payment and we're gonna go buy a cash car.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[JD Ryan]

Where are you going? Can I ask?

[Caller]

Yes, sir. Costa Rica.

[John Clay Wolf]

My cousin lives in Costa Rica.

[Caller]

He's smart man.

[Turley]

She's.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, she. She's been there for God. Do you have any kids?

[Caller]

Yes. It's here.

[John Clay Wolf]

If you put them in an English speaking school, there's a good chance she'll be your teacher because I don't think there's a lot of them down there. But. But yeah, she's the. She's the. Her husband owns One of the big schools down there.

[Caller]

Pretty awesome place.

[John Clay Wolf]

22:5.

[Caller]

22:5 with a clean carfax. Oh, yeah, it's definitely clean.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do we have a deal, Bradley? Bradley, do we have a deal?

[Caller]

No, sir. You're a little low man, but I won't keep your price in mind.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, there's no reason to keep it in mind if you don't buy it. This ain't no kissing booth. This ain't no glory hole. How much is the damn car, dog?

[Caller]

Man, honestly, if you could get me closer to 25 is what I was trying to be.

[John Clay Wolf]

Are you chasing the payment payoff?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's your payoff?

[Caller]

It's a little over 25.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. I cannot get there, but I could. I could give a little more. My first offer is not always my.

[Caller]

Best offer and I've. I listened to you a lot, so I know that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, you know, I probably got a thousand dollar bump in me, so. 22 5. 23 5.

[Caller]

I got some pictures. I understand. I don't mind. I've already emailed you earlier this morning, my VIN and all. I don't mind sending you some pictures as well.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have they.

[Caller]

I just want to call and get a quicker hit.

[John Clay Wolf]

Have they already bid it? Because they've been swamped today with adding these new stations.

[Caller]

That's why I called in. I wanted something a little quicker because I wasn't getting a response and I wanted to talk to you personally.

[John Clay Wolf]

23,500 going once. Biddings fixing the clothes. Going twice. 23. 23. 23 high. 24. All right, 23, 6. 23 6. 23 6. I'm going to go to 23, 7. And I'm pulling. I'm pulling in the brakes at 23 7.

[Caller]

I like it.

[JD Ryan]

I like it.

[Caller]

I'll be with you, man.

[Turley]

All right.

[Caller]

Maybe you can come a little higher.

[John Clay Wolf]

So his payoff has nothing to do with the value of his car. That's what people must compare.

[Turley]

Oh, they all think that.

[John Clay Wolf]

See, if you're. And that's what I love. If Your payoff was 17, could I have it for that?

[JD Ryan]

No, no, not my fault.

[John Clay Wolf]

No. But the 2370, be like, I'm done. I'm good. Because payoff 17 is going to get equity. Check. Everybody's happy. Well, I'm chasing these pests. How about crackhead Jag lady yesterday? Turley?

[Turley]

What happened, man?

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, that's weird.

[JD Ryan]

What happened?

[Turley]

So this lady didn't trust that we're real, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

She wants to keep selling us a car over There.

[Turley]

So she wants to sell a car to us. She's wanting money.

[John Clay Wolf]

She sold it, she said. Except she brings the car over to deliver it to us. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm getting excited. She sold us the car. Except we've been going through this with her. We go to 24 7. Okay, deal. Then why did she come over?

[Turley]

She said she still didn't trust. She's like, you know what? I'm gonna come. Because since we told her, you know what, we'll make a special exception for you. We'll literally wire that money right into your account once you get here. And all you got to do is just sign this paper, this one last paper. It'll be done. She refused to sign the paper. So we told her, hey, we can't give you money unless you sign this paper.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Still didn't believe she just left.

[John Clay Wolf]

That was it. What a nut.

[Turley]

I don't. She drove an hour. An hour to get to us.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know what it is? What part of it? We moved offices.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And on our suite sign, where we are now.

[JD Ryan]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

It says, like center for Therapeutic Change. They haven't changed the sign out yet. So she might have gotten the heebie jeebies off of that because she walks into there. Why? Why do we not have a good sign on our building?

[JD Ryan]

It used to be a rehab clinic.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, for drug heads.

[Turley]

Well, I mean. And you could tell we're moving in.

[John Clay Wolf]

But you can't really tell. Could you tell me? We've moved in pretty good. But did she tell you what? Her. Why she didn't trust us.

[Turley]

Cuz the bank told her that we're just a bunch of wholesalers.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Turley]

Okay. So what are they going to do with your car?

[Tyrone]

The bank.

[Turley]

The bank's telling. The bank's telling them. Well, they're just going to turn around and make money off it.

[John Clay Wolf]

We. Damn.

[Turley]

The dealership's going to do with it?

[John Clay Wolf]

Try. What if we lose money on it? Will the bank help me out with that?

[Turley]

The dealership does.

[John Clay Wolf]

I lose money 20% of the time. Me on the phone with that banker. Hey, if you're a banker, call me, please. If you're in the banking business and you coach your customers, I'd love to talk to you on the air or if you're an F and I guy and have a funny story. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Because these bankers with this coaching. Yeah, they're out there, dude. I mean, they say the stupidest things.

[Turley]

Where do they get the right to do that, even.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm like, everybody has had the right to talk about Elton John looking like a Peterbilt truck. Yeah. Peterbilt had just got the innuendo. Yeah. I didn't get it until now.

[JD Ryan]

You're sobering up.

[John Clay Wolf]

Our bank one. One of the branches is, like, 300 yards from here. We'll go over there, and you can cash the check into hundreds. If that's what somebody. The other day, the bank called, hey, there's a check to XYZ Smith. You know, Joe Smith for 25 grand. He's here to cash it. We just want to make sure that this is a good deal. I'm like, hang on, let me look it up, because that's kind of weird.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

I was like, are they taking green cash? Yep. All right. So I looked up, like, yeah, it's a good deal. I called Connie, called the girls, like, everybody good? We got a title. Everything good. The car's good. Yep. Yep. All right, cash it. But, yeah, we'll cash the damn check. Sure. But. So why wouldn't that work for her, Charlie?

[Turley]

Because of this banker told her that we're going to be making money off because we're just a bunch of wholesalers. But we explained her. You. What do you think a dealership does with your car?

[JD Ryan]

Of course, it's no different.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm. I'm placing a gambling bet on your car. And I. 80% of the time I'm right. 20% of the time, I'm wrong. And when we're wrong, we lose big, big, big. I sold one at Richie Brothers. Lost four grand the other day.

[JD Ryan]

Yikes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, so. But our average is right around $300 a car. That's what we're farming for, is the average.

[Turley]

Dealerships are going to. Their average is a lot.

[John Clay Wolf]

2600 a car.

[JD Ryan]

A lot more than that.

[John Clay Wolf]

26 worth 300. Who gets the difference? You do. I wrote her a nice letter. Did you see it?

[Turley]

I have not, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, I CCD you on it because I gave him some bullets. I'm like, hey, how about Googling my name?

[JD Ryan]

Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, we've done it.

[Turley]

Was all of it.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, everything. You know, I've been on the air for 10 years.

[JD Ryan]

We've been doing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Look at these trophies in the. In the conference room. I mean, in the waiting room. Dealer of the Year, 2004, right? 4.

[JD Ryan]

I know.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dealer of the Year 2015 all the way through. I mean, come on, lady. How the hell. Manheim auctions $100 million in 2004.

[JD Ryan]

Freaks banks out, though what y' all do, it still freaks them out. Remember when I went to buy my little Ford Escape from you guys? My bank, bank of America. Y' all say your name right loud. That's right. Wouldn't even. Wouldn't do it.

[John Clay Wolf]

They wouldn't finance you.

[JD Ryan]

They wouldn't finance me because I wasn't going to a Ford house or a Chevy house or a Toyota house because I. You know why? Because they got deals going with them. That's exactly. You know what?

[John Clay Wolf]

I bet you this banker that's he wants it. They're lying to you.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, they're lying.

[Turley]

I didn't even think about that.

[John Clay Wolf]

But then the bankers go to our website. They want to sell us the repos, and we buy them.

[JD Ryan]

Because they don't mind making money from you. They don't want you making the money.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, we get leasing companies, banks, they go to our website. We buy their repos all the time. Hey, we got this repo. We'll give 16 grand. Well, the loan balance is 25. I'm like, yeah, but you know, it's worth 16. Well, we ran it through the auction twice. It brought 15, so I guess you're right. We'll take it. Okay.

[JD Ryan]

There you go.

[John Clay Wolf]

So am I a bad guy now?

[JD Ryan]

No, now you're the good guy.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm gonna put a hit out on him.

[JD Ryan]

No, you're not, John. That's an alcohol target.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, you're such a damn high holy roller.

[JD Ryan]

That's it. I mean, you drank three days ago. You're still hungover. Three days.

[John Clay Wolf]

Three days in a row.

[JD Ryan]

Three days in a row.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a holiday weekend, man. I'm gonna drink tonight.

[JD Ryan]

I know you should.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm getting a driver if I was. Hey, Will Danny run us to Dallas? That party?

[Turley]

No, he's in Grand Prairie.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's got horses, he's got an attitude.

[Turley]

He's just a. Just a Debbie downer. I mean, that's just what he is.

[John Clay Wolf]

Danny, this. This guy that works for us, and he's got a big black voice like Chef from South Park.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

I like him.

[Turley]

I got him coming up Sunday tomorrow to put up the IKEA stuff, but they couldn't do it today.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is he mad about it?

[Turley]

I mean, I can never tell if he's ever happy, John.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right?

[Turley]

I never know why.

[JD Ryan]

What's he.

[John Clay Wolf]

We had to buy more office furniture because we just moved into our new place.

[JD Ryan]

Why is he always down?

[Turley]

I don't know. I. I don't. He may be happy. We just don't Know, because his expression's.

[JD Ryan]

Always the same, okay?

[Turley]

No matter what. What?

[John Clay Wolf]

What are you talking about? Right? What's wrong, Danny? Well, I asked him what's wrong? Would Junior run us to Dallas?

[Turley]

May, maybe. But, you know, he just had his house burned down. You know about that? So he's got people.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah, it really burned.

[Turley]

It really burned to the ground. So he's got people coming by to give him appraisals and building a new house there. So that's why he couldn't make it up today.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[Turley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

When did that happen?

[Turley]

This is like three weeks ago, four weeks ago.

[John Clay Wolf]

And Roy just got out of the hospital. He went. Uncle Roy went down with the gallbladder removal.

[Turley]

He said, man, I was on. Almost gone. I was almost gone.

[JD Ryan]

I'm getting out of the room, man. Y' all are bad news.

[John Clay Wolf]

I went and I went and sat with him for an hour the other day in the hospital, and he was. He. He was being himself. Yeah, but you could tell he was just coming out of it.

[JD Ryan]

So what party are we going to tonight?

[John Clay Wolf]

A buddy of mine's birthday party.

[Turley]

JD could drive for you.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's a D. Would you want to drive all the way to Burleson to pick us up?

[Tyrone]

Nope.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right. That's the kicker.

[JD Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that.

[John Clay Wolf]

See Burleson to Dallas, and Dallas back to Burleson. Yeah. Why don't you just Uber, dude, that cost a million dollars. Come on. I can give it.

[JD Ryan]

Don't be an Uber driver in your.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where you.

[Turley]

Where are you going? From Burleson to where?

[John Clay Wolf]

To downtown Dallas.

[Turley]

It's like 50 bucks. Maybe.

[John Clay Wolf]

You don't know.

[Turley]

I do know. I've taken it before.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes, maybe in a Toyota Echo.

[JD Ryan]

No, no. They have standards.

[John Clay Wolf]

I ain't riding in that car. I'm too cool for that car. I'm above it. I'll drive junk.

[Turley]

He wants the Uber black. That's what he wants.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I'll drive junk. But it's got to be trucks and big stuff. I hate little cars. You said that beater I've been driving.

[Turley]

I know. This is amazing. You. You'd rather drive a hail. I mean, it's hail. I mean, totaled, hailed Chevy pickup, full size, than a to Toyota Tacoma, brand new Toyota Tacoma. You'd rather drive?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Turley]

Hail beater.

[JD Ryan]

Why?

[John Clay Wolf]

Because I'm just more comfortable in a real car.

[Turley]

Speaking a real car, we do have a review here.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, great. Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Time for reveal.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, let's hit it. Once I get to the open, time passes, we suck. Unprofessionalism now, now it's time for the.

[Announcer]

Ride of the week.

[John Clay Wolf]

Speaking of 17 Kia Sportage. Rock and roll. It's only $33,000. You heard it here first folks. $33,000 Kia, they're, they're high now. Dude.

[JD Ryan]

I remember when they first came out. I got one as a driver for a radio station. I liked it, I really enjoyed it. But it wasn't 33 grand.

[John Clay Wolf]

Kia is on like Donkey Kong. I know some Kia dealers and they are selling cars. People love Kias. The warranties are good. You know, they've really given Honda and Toyota a run for the money and they're holding up the resale. I mean I buy 100,000 mile Kias and they're okay.

[Turley]

So this one's bright orange which burnished copper.

[John Clay Wolf]

Excuse me, Ty. Burnished copper needs to be in Austin.

[Turley]

I don't know about the color but hey.

[John Clay Wolf]

The port of entry was H u e n e m e. What's that? I don't know. You know what does it have to do with the car? Kia motors of America shipped to Kia vehicle services in Irvine, California. Does it have a California plate on it?

[Turley]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ah, there you go. Somebody drove it all the. Hey, the good news about this car is it made it all the way from California to Texas and it didn't break down.

[JD Ryan]

Port hun is in California.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[JD Ryan]

Small beach city in Ventura County.

[John Clay Wolf]

Two liter turbo gas halls butt 19 inch wheels, 33 grand. All the, all the airbags, all the stuff, all the goodies, they've all got all the goodies. That, that's the good thing. The gear is what I call it, leather roof and n. And for the.

[Turley]

Price, the gear, that's nice, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

If you went to get an Equinox ltz that's loaded out of be $42,000 so that's the difference. And a Honda pilot would be about $35,000. I almost bought a Honda Pilot for my old lady about six years ago. New.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And when we got to the dealership she started acting up, acting bad. Started acting up. Why start acting up? Give me a little tude. You know what? I ain't getting no new cover. Keep you in this bourbon. It's only got 120 on. It'll make another 20 till that tude wears out.

[JD Ryan]

Why do you always get the new?

[John Clay Wolf]

But I'm glad that I didn't buy it because I don't want a pilot. I don't like those little cars. We'll be back.

[Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1-800-800-RODE. This is the John Clay Wolf show.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, I wanted to say on the buzz, hey everybody, everybody jump over to ESPN if you want another hour.

[JD Ryan]

Well, and it's your rate, it's your air.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, we should do it later.

[JD Ryan]

Okay. Yeah, maybe not the first day.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, cuz ESPN's kind of getting the back the stepchild right feel right? So we should do them a little love too.

[JD Ryan]

Give them some love. Yeah, we love espn.

[John Clay Wolf]

We've been on ESPN Houston for six years, man.

[JD Ryan]

Wow, really that long?

[John Clay Wolf]

Been that long. Dustin, good morning, you're on the air.

[Caller]

Hey, do what I said, chill guy.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. Appreciate it. Where you from?

[Caller]

Louisiana.

[John Clay Wolf]

Lafayette. If you down here and you ain't drinking and you ain't screwing, then you just visited. Okay, 2012 Toyota Tundra with 97. Is it leather, cloth, is it two wheel drive or four? Yeah, I mean he's in Louisiana. Who doesn't have a four wheel drive? That's like government issued car. They don't even sell two wheel drives in Louisiana. Is it a big back door or a small back door?

[Caller]

Big back door. It's a CrewMax. CrewMax 4.6, Texas, Texas edition.

[John Clay Wolf]

5.7 or 4.6 on the engine, 5.7. Okay, the big pretty wheels or the ugly steel wheels?

[Caller]

Big pretty ones.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, Texas edition. Should be cloth, automatic, four wheel drive, Crewmax. Blah blah, blah. 100,000 miles this 20 grand rig.

[Caller]

20 grand. Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. So did I buy a Crewmax Tundra?

[Caller]

Not yet.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why?

[Caller]

I gotta talk to the wife.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, go to givemetheven.com. lock it up. We'll put it in writing and remind them what I bid it out on the radio, please, in the information box.

[Caller]

Not a problem.

[John Clay Wolf]

Because sometimes they'll hit it at 19. I told you 20. And I'm like, hey man, I told this dude 20. Like we're working deals. We don't know that. So y' all tell them where sometimes you get more money from me than you get from them on the first pencil on the first offer. So let them know I'm looking at a market report, they're gonna hit you at 19.

[Tyrone]

Okay?

[John Clay Wolf]

And remind, say Wolf already hit me at 20. Now if it's got a bad carfax, I'm back it up to 18. It's gotta have, it's gotta have a clean carfax. Okay, we're all good, man. Lock and load. Lock and load. GTIs, Turley. Are those okay? I forgot. That's a little one that looks the same since 85.

[Turley]

Kind of like that. You talking about the Volkswagen?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, yeah.

[Turley]

Those are actually kind of sporty.

[John Clay Wolf]

Clay, is this the one with the plaid interior?

[Caller]

Yes, it is.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, I know what it is then. Is it a stick?

[Caller]

No, it's dsg.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Turley]

Turbo.

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Look, y' all are talking Volkswagen geek stuff. I don't know. Okay, so it. All I've got is two door, four door hatchback or auto autobahn or regular edition?

[Caller]

Regular. The autobond's got leather, I've got the plaid.

[John Clay Wolf]

Gotcha. Y' all are teaching me. So how do I. Why am I qualified to buy this car? I don't know. I just. I just wing it, dude. I'm either right or I'm wrong. 10 grand sound right? I don't know. 9 grand. 9 grand. 9 grand. Nine grand.

[Turley]

Nine grand.

[John Clay Wolf]

Nah, it's got 80 on it, man. It doesn't have 50.

[Turley]

It's got 80 out of warranty.

[Caller]

Yeah, well, it's also one of those cars that I have complete service records, and it's in great shape.

[John Clay Wolf]

Let me get a second opinion. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio is the call number. I'm going to look it up on our little system, our little bidding tool and see what it says. Volkswagen gti. Did he say it's a four door? Is it? Does it have a sunroof?

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. Does it have navigation? No.

[Caller]

No navigation.

[John Clay Wolf]

What color?

[Caller]

Candy white.

[Turley]

Candy white.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, our bidding tool says 8600.

[Turley]

You gave too much money.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then what's it take to buy it?

[Caller]

12.

[John Clay Wolf]

Ah, you're. You need to move to Seattle. That's where they give you grass. And you ain't that grass you're smoking. You won't get a ticket for it. 800. 800. 723 4. And I'll tell you why I'm talking so tough to him.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, why are you talking?

[John Clay Wolf]

It has nothing to do with him.

[JD Ryan]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

It has something to do with Volkswagen. In my history with Volkswagen, y' all remember how guys are. Remember how I said we lose 20 of the time?

[JD Ryan]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like 10 of those are Volkswagens.

[Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, man. I mean, we've taken some heaters on vws. The rootan worked. I was surprised recently, but it was white, tan leather. I know. That's why it's like the only one in the world.

[JD Ryan]

It's always.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I mean, that's. But VWs, man, they will. They will hurt your ass if I took all my Career and took vw, I think I'd be in the red. I'm serious. They break and they cost money. If you don't believe me, ask a Volkswagen dealer when he's drunk how much money he makes in the shop. Because I know Volkswagen dealer that gets drunk a lot and he tells me and it's ugly. I mean he's like dude, our service absorptions 120% which means their shop makes enough money to pay all the bills for the entire dealership plus another 20% before they sell a car.

[JD Ryan]

Wow.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's like those bugs is the best thing that ever happened. At a hundred thousand miles. They just implode and everybody comes in and puts $5,000 new setup on it.

[JD Ryan]

Do they really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Bugs are awful. I hate them.

[JD Ryan]

The originals are still on the road.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, but the new ones, man, the ones that started in, whatever. I mean if they've got a hunsky on them, they are. Okay. We finally sold one.

[Turley]

Oh, that one?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, we sold it. Yeah, last week. And we've had it for three months. And you know why it took three months? Because every time I went to try to sell it, it would break.

[Turley]

Literally.

[JD Ryan]

No, literally sell it when it's broken down.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I kept selling it at the auctions and it kept getting turned down in arbitration.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well now the window motors out. Well, now the convertible. So like the things that it was getting arbitrated for in the beginning.

[Bobbo]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

We fix those and then new things come up. Seriously? Well, the wheel bearings out, I'm like it hadn't gone anywhere. Well, it's Volkswagen.

[JD Ryan]

It didn't drive any place.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, the door handle fell off in the, in the post sale inspector's hand when he was checking it out. And that's over 5. If a car has over 500 with repairs needed and we sell it on a green light, then we have to buy it back.

[JD Ryan]

Oh my God.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I, we sold this car like 15 times. Dude. It would not. I finally sold it on a red light light and damn near busted out of it. We spent $2,000. No bust out of the original bid.

[JD Ryan]

Okay, okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

The original price. We spent $2,000 chasing squirrels in this car.

[JD Ryan]

Oh my God.

[John Clay Wolf]

Check engine light, ABS light.

[JD Ryan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Convertible top motor. Door handle came off.

[Turley]

It's got great miles. It's got great miles.

[John Clay Wolf]

Rear window won't go up. We got that fixed. The other rear window won't got low.

[JD Ryan]

Miles cuz it never goes anywhere.

[John Clay Wolf]

Exactly.

[Bobbo]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Like the little mile. The little, little window behind it's a two door convertible. But the little windows in the back. Those were 400. 400. Oh, my Lord. What's. What's wrong? Next? The seatbelt. Gun break.

[Tyrone]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Are we out of. Are we done?

[JD Ryan]

Yeah, we're done. You can take a nap.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank God. I.

[JD Ryan]

You did a great job today, John. Amazing.

[John Clay Wolf]

I am tired. That's the best news. Normally, I'm like, we're done. I don't want to be done today. I want to be done.

[Turley]

We're hung over.

[John Clay Wolf]

We're done. Thank y' all for making this trek with me, and I'm sorry if I suck today.

[JD Ryan]

No, you didn't. It was fun.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, well, you're great, cuz I'm. I'm done.

[JD Ryan]

Well, you were great for 3 hours and 42 minutes.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay. You're great, man. You're great. Y' all are great. Y' all are going national, man. This is the best thing since sliced bread, man. Yeah. What? I just hear all this crap. Oh, y' all are done and done alone. Yeah.

[JD Ryan]

Now don't be the angry hungover guy.

[John Clay Wolf]

The angry hungover guy.

[JD Ryan]

Yeah. Now we'll move on.

[John Clay Wolf]

We are great. We are.

[JD Ryan]

Give yourself a turtle.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're great.

[JD Ryan]

Totally.

[Turley]

You're great, too.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thanks, man. J.D. you're the greatest.

[JD Ryan]

We all love Babo.

[John Clay Wolf]

We all love Baba's great green hair. You're great, too. And that kid that's in your stomach, it's gonna be great, too. Everybody listeners. Y' all are great, man. Happy Mother's Day. See you next week.

[Caller]

Ladies and gentlemen. That wraps this little show up. Y' all. Move right over. Buy you some Bibles or go back down the lane and buy you whatever you want.