The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #522 (09.20.25)

Live from Las Vegas for the iHeartRadio Music Festival

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show finds John and the crew broadcasting live from Las Vegas during the iHeartRadio Music Festival weekend. The show balances John's groggy, hungover post-party energy with their usual irreverent takes on cars, music, sports, and assorted life misadventures. Expect stories from the festival, reflections on aging and marriage, car-selling banter, wild callers (one tripping on mushrooms), Vegas gambling adventures, pop culture quizzes, and a dose of insomniac philosophy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Las Vegas Hangover & iHeartRadio Festival Takeaways

• Setting & Mood: John is in Vegas, tired and grumbling from late-night partying, semi-hungover, and openly reluctant about being awake, let alone on-air. (“I’ve had about four hours sleep… I’m just not happy. I’m not a happy person. I don’t want to be here. I want to be asleep.” - John Clay Wolfe, 00:44)
• Music Festival Rundown:
  • Jelly Roll: John dubs him "Fat Boy Slim with tattoos," drawing humorous comparisons to Elvis ("God sent Jelly Roll to replace Elvis. That makes sense." - 04:07), highlighting his “America-unite” crowd-pleaser vibe.
  • LL Cool J: John and crew enjoyed it, with John quipping, “I like black people. No, he was good.” (05:38)
  • Maroon 5: Critiqued as energetic music with a lackluster stage show; crowd reactions noted.
  • DJs: John is baffled by the superstar DJ phenomenon (“They’re just there. I mean, they’re not doing a damn thing at all… I think they represent drugs.” - 07:19), lambasting club and stadium DJs as icons of drug culture and “famous for being famous.”
  • Sammy Hagar: Reflections on having had Hagar at a past company Christmas party—rare moments of genuine nostalgia and appreciation mixed with the show’s typical irreverence.
• Aftereffects: John wrestles with whether he’s still drunk, repeatedly references drinking 24 oz beers, and confesses to being off his game (“I’m gonna say something's gonna get me in trouble if I haven't already.” – 28:29).

2. Classic Banter: Cars, Callers, and Appraisals

• Lightning Rounds: JCW fields live car appraisals, mixing real market advice with his usual sarcasm (“Well, back in high school you got laid a lot more too.” – 12:59).
• Favorite Calls: From a speech-impaired recurring caller (“Speech impediment Terrence”) to a man tripping on mushrooms in Oklahoma (“100%...I'm just doing the Lord’s work here on Saturday morning.” – 49:44), the call-in segments mix real business with wild, off-topic stories.
• Listener Interactions: Commentary on everything from lifted Jeeps to collectable Oldsmobiles, with John explaining the hard truth of car values in his “hangover mode”—often to the caller’s playful frustration.

3. Sports, Gambling, and Life in Vegas

• College Football Bets: Betting lines and picks on Texas Tech/Utah, Auburn/Oklahoma, Illinois/Indiana, and SMU/TCU. John, deep into the Vegas mindset, tries to up the stakes but is reined in by Turley.
  • “You went one and three, so you’re ahead… I’m up nine games to three, so I'm $225 up so far.” - Mike Turley (30:16)
  • “You double down. Double down!” – J.D. (32:06)
• Casino Adventures: John shares his experience betting modestly at the craps table while his high-roller friend blows through tens of thousands in minutes. ("He was up $30,000… and then he wound up going—he lost about 35 of that when I sat down." – 47:53)

4. Marriage, Aging, and Working Vacations

• Jeanette’s Birthday and Aging Jokes: The crew riffs on John’s wife’s 40th birthday, trading playful jabs about trading in partners and the shifting dynamic of aging (“That's the thing I like about high school girls...” – 20:53).
• Working Vacation Reality Check: John muses on the reality of mixing business with pleasure in Vegas, missing his son’s football game, and struggling to find the promised “vacation” in the trip (“When does this vacation part start?” – 71:06).
• Caller Stories: Banter about Appalachian Trail adventures, quitting jobs, and “why nobody’s getting married anymore”—all delivered in the show’s signature way.

5. Drugs, Alcohol, and a Touch of Gonzo

• View on Substance Use: Recurring jokes about drinking, “getting roofied,” dabbling in vapes (“hydro vape weed BS”), and a couple who calls in while one is on mushrooms, describing psychedelic experiences and marital strife.
  • “All I can, like, speak is the truth right now. I think I'm seeing like shapes and colors…” (59:27)
• Safety Spree: Segments cover drunk driving news, airport mayhem, and John's family legacy of reckless drinking.
• Pop Culture Tangents: From D.A.R.E. nostalgia to raccoon CPR stories and oddball news, the show bounces between the absurd and the poignant.

6. Music, Podcasts, and Pop Culture Games

• Dave Matthews Backtracks Quiz: Listeners compete to guess Dave Matthews songs played in reverse (e.g., "Tripping Billies" and "Satellite”).
• Musician Mythology: Stories of booking Dave Matthews Band’s early Texas gigs; legends of Blues Traveler and Better than Ezra; a running pop culture Jeopardy game for the crew.

7. Recurring Cast, Running Gags, and Memorable Characters

• Speech Impediment Terrence: From would-be band formation to tales of long-ago car purchases.
• International Listeners: Calls and playful skits with Aussie/New Zealand characters (“I’ve been licking me frog…” – 58:39) and Juan Solo, Mexico’s Star Wars radio star.
• Fake Mail & Parody: "Mail from Jail" segments, skewering the “innocence” of prisoners and satirizing rural Americana.
• Listener Hate Mail: John reads out negative feedback about certain skits, shrugs, and plows ahead.

8. Media, Scandals, and Kimmel’s Suspension

• Jimmy Kimmel’s ABC Suspension: The show offers a fast-and-loose breakdown of Kimmel’s supposed ousting over comments about Charlie Kirk, blending half-serious media critique with mock outrage and industry-insider gossip.
  • “After threats from Trump’s FCC chair, ABC yanked Kimmel off the air indefinitely.” – (121:46)
  • Discussions of the business side of late night, the irrelevance of TV ratings, and Kimmel’s possible next moves.
  • “He bought a fishing lodge up in Idaho...I think the guy wanted to retire.” – John Clay Wolfe (43:54)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On festival goers and DJs:
  "The excitement is—they're sitting there. They're not doing a damn thing at all. No, they pick all the music. They have it all preset. Yeah, they make millions… They're just—it's just the drugs. I think they represent drugs that are going along with the music.” – John Clay Wolfe, 07:19

• On marriage and aging:
  "That's the thing I like about high school girls is I keep getting older and they stay the same age." – John Clay Wolfe (quoting “Dazed & Confused”), 20:53

• Caller on mushrooms:
  “All I can, like, speak is the truth right now… when your piss hits the water, you know when it splashes back up at you… to me, that night, it was like cuss words. Like every—like the splash was a cuss word.” – Oklahoma Caller, 59:27 / 62:42

• On car values & nostalgia:
  “Well, back in high school, you got laid a lot more too… Well, guess what, Kevin, in Houston, you have abs anymore and your jeep ain’t worth what was it Covid.” – John Clay Wolfe, 12:59

• On gambling:
  "He was up $30,000… then he wound up going—he lost about 35 of that when I sat down. You’re the cooler, man." – John Clay Wolfe & Mike Turley, 47:53

• On Kimmel’s suspension:
  “They warned him though, man. They warned him and they warned him.” – John Clay Wolfe, 122:38

• On YouTube & going viral:
  “Finally getting some traction…after two and a half years… Why am I wasting my time doing this? This is ridiculous… But now it's motivating.” – John Clay Wolfe, 138:44

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Vegas iHeart Music Festival Recap: 01:09–10:00
• DJs & Festival Culture Rant: 07:00–10:00
• Sammy Hagar/Nostalgia: 09:13–09:47
• Lightning Round (Car Appraisals): Multiple, e.g., 11:24, 49:29, 86:04, 125:30
• College Football Bets & Sports: 29:25–37:30, 130:17–134:19
• Drugs & Vegas Shenanigans: 32:02, 49:44, 72:34, 73:52
• Mushrooms Caller: 49:44, 59:20, again at 93:23
• Marriage & Birthday Bits: 18:08–21:32
• Kimmel Suspension Discussion: 120:54–124:28
• Dave Matthews Backtracks Quiz: 104:53–114:45
• Speech Impediment Terrence: Throughout (e.g., 11:24, 97:42, 117:16)
• Car Collector Advice / Resto-mods: 99:22–102:29
• Appalachian Trail Caller: 66:31–69:31
• Parody/Skits (Juan Solo, New Zealand, etc.): 132:28–137:23
• Pop Culture Jeopardy: 140:42–146:12

Tone, Style & Format

• Language and Tone: Irreverent, sharp, provocative, openly (and self-consciously) politically incorrect, with John’s classic stew of biting sarcasm, bemused old-man crankiness, and underlying realness. The crew keeps it loose, with everyone riffing, derailing each other, and running with a joke to the bitter end.
• Format: Fast-paced, radio-morning-show banter interspersed with live calls, music, and games. The lines between content and chaos are intentionally blurred.

For First-Time Listeners

• The John Clay Wolfe Show is a wild ride: part car auction, part rock radio, part Howard Stern-esque confessional, and part small-town Texas smoke-filled bar at last call.
• If you like candid talk about the car market, no-BS takes on pop culture, and segments that fly off the rails, you’ll feel right at home.
• Not PC, but it’s full of energy, honesty, and occasional moments of real insight—especially about cars, music, and how life changes as you get older.

Listen if you want:

• Real & funny insights into the music festival scene and the car industry
• Unfiltered commentary on marriage, aging, and making (or losing) money
• The wildest call-in radio moments (including callers tripping on shrooms)
• The inside scoop on dealer auctions and vehicle values
• Relatable tales of marital negotiation, working vacations, small-town legends
• A survey of America’s mood somewhere between “midlife crisis” and “one last party in Vegas”

Missed this episode? Don’t sweat it—you’ve got the highlights, killer stories, and all the best John Clay Wolfe Show insanity, minus the hangover.