The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #69

Date: February 12, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Podcast Theme: Car talk, wild stories, listener calls, irreverent humor, and unpredictable banter
Sponsor: GiveMeTheVIN.com

Episode Overview

This episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show is a fast-moving, spirited mash-up of car buying, raunchy stories, and high-energy banter among John and the show’s colorful crew. Listeners are treated to wild digressions about music, sex, road stories, and offbeat humor—always just skirting the line of what’ll get them fined by the FCC. The show’s core—letting listeners call in to have their cars appraised for cash—anchors the loose, highly entertaining format. Expect unfiltered opinions, fake callers/characters, and hilarious rants.

Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Roadies, Rock and Roll, and Modern Party Bands

[00:01 - 08:00]

• The gang reminisces about the wild days of touring as a roadie in the 80s and 90s, lamenting the sanitized state of today’s party bands.
• Discussion drifts toward hip-hop’s dominance as the last bastion for wild tour antics.
• Light-hearted speculation on Justin Bieber’s new “Christian” phase:
  • John: “You gotta say Bieber went Christian. I believe he has. I believe.” (03:44)

2. Mic Levels and Show Producer Tech Talk

[08:00 - 12:00]

• The guys riff about whose mic is loudest, while Turley (the producer) jokes about short cables and depth.

3. Hungover Saturdays & Drunken Labels

[12:00 - 15:30]

• John owns up to being hungover; Bob pokes fun:
  • Bob: “You’ve been a drunk for years. ... I was going for the funny.” (14:05)

4. Religion, Comedy, and Offending Listeners

[15:30 – 23:00]

• John’s story about using irreverent Rowan Atkinson clips gets complaints from Christian listeners.
  • John: “Somebody was offended by him. They said, hey, I’m offended as a Christian.” (18:27)
• “The Reverend” (fake preacher voice) makes an appearance, joking about “saving souls” at the horse track and other dubious locations.

5. Prostitution in Texas & Small-Town Escapes

[23:00 – 30:00]

• John spots a high-end prostitute at the Stockyards Hotel and the crew riffs about the “economics” and origins of Texas escorts.
  • John: “Her boots went all the way up... to where you wonder where her butt-cheek met her thigh. That short.” (25:15)
• Digression on where “runaway” country girls land in Texas, and tales of bar fights in the Fort Worth stockyards.

6. Car Appraisals Go Live – Listener Call-Ins

[30:00 – 90:00+, throughout]

• Main show content: listeners phone in to get live cash offers for cars (high-mileage Suburbans, Mustangs, F-150s, classic Chevelles, etc).
  • John banters, negotiates, and often razzes sellers (“Do you have to ask your wife if you can sell your car?”).
• Notable moment:
  • Shannon (Caller): “We live on the highway, not the dirt roads.”
  • John: “How long till the motor blows up?... How long till the tranny goes out?” (35:40)
• John’s signature bit: encouraging everyone to sell their car from “your underwear.”

7. Hooter's Legendary Buyer Rant

[60:00 - 73:00]

• They air a secret recording of Hooter, their top buyer, absolutely losing it after a customer flakes:
  • Hooter: “Why am I getting every shaky deal... I am a magnet. I am not laughing. I wanted to buy the damn car.” (1:08:00)
• The guys riff on flaky customers and vent about the business.

8. “Do You Need to Ask Your Wife?” Running Gag

[73:00 - 78:00]

• Phone poll: John asks multiple callers if they “need to ask their wife” before doing a deal.
• Listeners play along with good humor; occasional zingers about relationships.

9. Prank Calls and Outrageous On-Air Bits

[105:00 - 117:00]

• Famous “Sex Slave” Prank: Bobbo fields a telemarketer, spins a wild tale about being locked in a basement as a sex slave, and the confused telemarketer just keeps reading his script:
  • Bobbo: “So, I have been locked in their basement for six months now…” (1:56:45)

10. Drunk Trump, Fake Rush Limbaugh & Political Parody

[90:00, 95:00, 115:00 interspersed]

• The gang does impressions of Trump “drunk,” “coked-up,” and uncensored (“Jobs! Jobs!” at 1:30:30).
• Extended “Rush Limbaugh” parody with surreal takes on politics and voter demographics:
  • Fake Rush: “They are comprising crooked Hillary’s attempt to bolster what political insiders are calling the Zulu vote.” (1:35:00, 2:48:00)
• Top Ten Lists: “Top 10 Things Trump Will Do as President” parody, “Celebrity President,” “Green light a new reality show for Fox called Celebrity President.” (2:55:00)

11. Music Trivia Contest

[135:00 – 145:00]

• The show attempts to do a “Name that 90s Tune” contest.
• Listeners struggle comically with the quick clips—eventually a winner is found (from Pennsylvania, of all places).
  • Notable: “Nirvana, Pearl Jam, 311, Beastie Boys, and Vanilla Ice—final answer!” (2:48:00)

12. More Car Bids, About Car Auctions & Used Car Realities

[Throughout, especially 145:00+]

• John educates listeners about the realities of car auctions, why used car values are what they are (“two-wheel-drive trucks? Half price for high miles”), and classic car market woes.
• Colorful caller disputes:
  • Jeff (Heated): “You asked me how many doors! It’s got four doors on it! I said $32,000!” (3:13:00)
• John’s refrain: “Go to GiveMeTheVIN.com and upload your VIN and pictures.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John Clay Wolfe [on flaky sellers]:
  “We always have to… we’re accountable. But they’re not.” (1:09:50)
• Reverend Character:
  “You got to go where the trouble is. I saved six of them last week at the hotel!” (21:35)
• On classic cars:
  “Muscle cars are really worth… what if somebody’s got a hard on for that car, you know?” (1:19:35)
• Hooter (buyer) rant:
  “Pick up the God phone, I’ve been calling you all God day... Tell me you lied.” (1:08:40)
• On prank telemarketer calls:
  “For the first two or three weeks it was pretty cool… but you do get tired of it after about three weeks.” (1:56:53)
• Fake Rush Limbaugh:
  “If anyone understands the difficulty of maintaining dignity and self respect despite a less than lily white complexion… it’s Trump.” (1:36:00)
• John (deadpanning car values):
  “Stop spending money on that car. Buy yourself a new set of boobs, don’t buy a new transmission.” (1:02:50)

Additional Timestamps

• [30:10] – First car appraisal call: high-mileage Suburban
• [50:20] – “Hooters Angerman” buyer meltdown
• [1:10:00] – “Do Men Have to Ask Their Wife?” running poll
• [1:31:00] – Drunk Trump impression montage
• [1:56:40] – Prank call: “I’m a sex slave in a basement...”
• [2:10:00] – Fake Rush Limbaugh, Absurd Voter Theories
• [2:48:00] – Music contest winner found
• [3:13:00] – Heated negotiation: “It’s got four doors on it!”

Tone & Style

• Irreverent, fast-talking, frequently raunchy, and self-aware.
• Southern-accented, good-ol’-boy humor but with sharp wit and improvisational skill.
• The crew swings between genuine customer service and lampooning “car biz” tropes.
• Lots of character voices, parody, and fourth-wall-breaking asides.

For First-Time Listeners

This episode is chaotic, fun, and heavy on both laughs and car-buying reality.
If you haven’t listened, expect:

• No topic is off limits: cars, sex, politics, showbiz, drunkenness, fake preachers, prank calls
• Loyal recurring bits: “Do you have to ask your wife?”, Hooter’s buyer rants, parody impressions
• Live car appraisals: the real, raw numbers for your ride
• A taste of Texas: if you like your radio rowdy, this is for you

Key Segment Recommendation:
If you just want the show’s comedy essence, catch the “Hooters Angerman” segment (1:08:00) and the prank call to the “Green Certification” marketer (1:56:00).

Car owners:
Got a car to sell? You’ll love the unvarnished, cash-on-the-barrelhead bids.

Final Thoughts

This is a true morning radio variety show for adults—where Comedy Central’s roast meets used car haggling. It’s a blast, and you just might pick up tips for your next car sale.