#77 John Clay Wolfe Show

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #77 Summary

Date: February 12, 2026
Podcast Theme:
A classic episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show, featuring the usual irreverent, rowdy, and unscripted banter about cars, wild Christmas parties, wild nights out, office culture, sports, and more—powered by GiveMeTheVIN.com. This episode stands out for its epic Christmas party debrief, legendary hangovers, and the saga of Bobbo, who literally slept through much of the first hour.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, John and the crew recount the chaos of the company Christmas party, which involved closing down bars, limo rides, strip clubs, karaoke hunting, and one member (Bobbo) passing out so completely in the studio that waking him became the show’s running bit. Between sharp-witted banter, the show’s signature on-air car valuations, stories of wild nights, and memorable guest personalities, listeners are treated to a raucous mix of car talk, debauchery, and classic Texas humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Post-Christmas Party Carnage and The Legend of Sleeping Bobbo

• [00:23–15:10] The show opens with a rundown from the previous night’s Christmas party: late-night bar closings, strippers, karaoke fails, and how Bobbo ended up passed out in the studio’s “homeless den” room.
• Running bit: Multiple failed (and hilarious) attempts to wake Bobbo, live recordings of his snores, and social media updates with photos and videos.
  • “You just see Bobbo snoring, sleeping…with a bunch of packets of ketchup and hot sauce all around Taco Bell.” — John Clay Wolfe [00:56]
  • “He had a cot and a sleeping bag, I’m like, what?” — JD [14:38]
  • Eventually, waking Bobbo becomes a crowd-sourced challenge, involving strippers, frying pans, and audience call-ins.
• After nearly an hour, Bobbo is finally roused, bleary-eyed, confused, and good-naturedly hounded by his friends about missing a chunk of the show.

2. Car Business Chaos and Marketplace

• [07:07, 22:10, throughout] John keeps the signature ‘Give Me The VIN’ business going, fielding rapid-fire calls, valuing cars on the air, and reminiscing about auction life and dealership growth.
  • Details about an upcoming auction: “We’re going to have 300 cars ourselves... I’ve been buying cars like a crackhead monkey.” [08:13]
  • Signature bravado: “If I can’t beat your CarMax offer, I’ll gladly give you $100. I can’t beat them all, but I beat them most of the time.” [33:00 et al]
  • Frequent reminders for listeners to call or go to the website.
• Live car bids and offers run throughout, often interrupted by comic banter. For many cars, John quizzes callers about the real story: “What will it really take to buy it?”

3. Party Recap: Limos, Strange Bars, and the Midget/Ostrich Parade

• [93:40, 127:59] Epic tales from the party: The crew rents a beaten-up white DeVille limo and embarks on a cluster of misadventures.
  • Stops included a possibly-gay dive bar (“Pirates Cove”), a Mexican restaurant, a closed karaoke spot, dubious 80s bars, and encounters with both the Fort Worth “elf parade” (miniature people riding ostriches in Santa hats) and questionable ladies in white jeans.
  • “We left a gay bar and went to an 80s bar that’s playing Erasure...and Bobbo went straight to the dance floor.” [109:49]
  • “There were men in Christmas hats on ostriches riding down Main Street.” [129:21]

4. Substance Abuse and Hangover Realness

• [61:13, 205:16, 244:45] Worn from the night before, the crew swaps tall tales of whiskey, Red Bull, illicit gummy bears, and fast-food finishes.
  • “I’m high on Red Bull and gin.” — John [06:27]
  • Bobbo’s drinking tips: “You drink whiskey till four... get an old limo with a ponytail driver... get to know Craigslist, because your hookers are gonna be coming from there...” [72:31]
  • Honest admission: “Bobo, when you were sleeping in there, you looked so bad. We posted a video… you looked like death.” — John [244:45]

5. Classic Show Characters and Bits

• Rush Limbaugh, Tony Romo’s Dad, The Chipmunk, et al.:
  • Regulars bring by impression-heavy comic relief, with Rush cracking on Percocet, Randy the Chipmunk talking about “nuts,” and Tony Romo’s fictional father giving post-game analysis (with chlamydia jokes) [155:01].
• Ridiculous Top 10 List:
  • Casey’s list of “the worst Christmas toys that were actually produced,” including “Pole-Dancing Barbie” and “Play-Doh Fake Poo” [121:55].

6. Lively Audience & Small Town Humor

• Listener Calls:
  • Bids on cars of every type (from exotic Lambo-doors Corvettes to ancient 360,000-mile Expeditions) are fielded with no filter.
  • “A 99 Mercury Grand Marquis? I'm gonna punt.” — John [42:41]
  • Occasional confusion about Missouri/Missoura, and calls from all over the South and Midwest.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "He was out cold. Taco sauce, hot sauce, and the Russ Martin poster watching him sleep—so weird."
  — John [00:56]
• "I've been buying cars like a crackhead monkey."
  — John [08:15]
• "We had a limo, and one of our drivers—never driven one before—was hitting things."
  — John [92:49]
• "We saw six little people in Christmas hats riding ostriches. I swear, the Fort Worth elf parade."
  — Bobbo [129:23]
• "If you want to get rid of your ex-wife, flirt with her till she won't call anymore."
  — Bobbo [215:04]
• "This is north Texas, man. If you haven't had sex with a Mexican, there's something wrong with you."
  — Bobbo [241:00]
• "Bobo, you're an alcoholic. No, come on, man. Everybody was there..."
  — John & Bobbo [245:44]
• "If you take Red Bulls with your drinks—it’s a good pacing mechanism. You’ll make it through the night. You're just a wide-awake drunk."
  — [06:26–06:45]
• "He had a cot and a sleeping bag in the back room—looks like a homeless dope-head den."
  — [14:47]
• "He's not stroking me, which is good. We need ‘The Stroke’ on tap all the time, Billy Squier."
  — John [61:36]
• "We went for an hour with it without him this morning. He wouldn't wake up. We had our Christmas party last night, literally."
  — John [174:58]

---

Highlighted Timestamps

• 00:23–15:10: Christmas Party Recap and The Sleeping Bobbo Saga
• 22:10: Live on-air car buy call; Corvette with Lambo doors
• 33:45: John’s car-buying braggadocio (“If I can’t beat CarMax…”)
• 61:13: The hangover and the plan to trick Bobbo into thinking the show just started
• 109:02: Run of bars, “gay bar or not,” 80s club, and limo tales
• 127:59: Story of the “elf parade” with little people riding ostriches at the party
• 155:01: Tony Romo’s “dad” gives football and chlamydia analysis
• 205:16: Hangover check-in; last call, shots, and why drinking like that isn’t necessary
• 244:45: Aftershow/Podcast: Bobbo realizes he missed an hour, more post-party reflections

---

Tone and Style

The show is fast-paced, uncensored (within FCC limits), and riff-heavy, mixing the raw energy of morning radio with Texas car culture, locker-room banter, and candid comedic takes on nightlife, relationships, and the car business. The tone is unapologetically brash and irreverent—with warmth, self-deprecation, and camaraderie shining through the hijinks.

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For New Listeners

This episode captures the quintessential John Clay Wolfe Show experience: wild stories, rapid-fire jokes, audience engagement, unique car-buying entertainment, and the feeling of sitting in on a group of (sometimes hungover) friends letting loose after a night to remember—and, in Bobbo’s case, sleep through.

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Full episodes and podcast archives available via Podbean and iTunes.

Transcript

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[A]

For the brother, I mean, we stayed up late. We had a big time at the old company Christmas party last night.

[D]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

And Bobbo is still snapping.

[B]

You just not napping.

[A]

He's napping.

[B]

He's sawing wood right now.

[D]

You guys remember the movie Twister? Okay. Think of right after the Twister hit. That's what John looks like.

[A]

Yes. Well, Bobbo, hang on. Who's this on line one? Good morning. That's.

[B]

I believe that's Clayton.

[A]

Oh, is it Clayton?

[B]

Yeah. So the idea is here from our staff. Yes. To go wake up Bobbo. Oh, good luck, because I've tried. And you could look at the Facebook page, John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you just see Bobbo just snoring, just sleeping. Well, and he's got a bunch of packets of ketchup and hot sauce all around Taco Bell.

[D]

And honestly, there's a poster of another radio guy staring at him. He, like, went to sleep looking at Russ Martin's picture.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

This is.

[A]

So is he gay, too?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's bizarre.

[B]

It's very bizarre.

[A]

He doesn't have his pants around, does he?

[D]

No, no, no, no, no. But, but, but it's Russ's poster where he says, you. What is it? You. You drive all drink.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You drive all drink.

[A]

So Steve Sullivan, the sales guy from CVS or Infinity, brought that over here years ago and I don't know why. And I put it in the closet. It's probably appropriate. And so Babo got it out, apparently.

[D]

It's literally looking at my weird.

[B]

You show them the picture of it. You got it there.

[A]

What does it sound like? Do we have any live audio feed from Bobbo's sleeping room?

[B]

Well, we can go in there and do that real quick.

[D]

Yeah, we've tried to wake him up.

[E]

We've talked to him.

[D]

We told him we're on the air.

[E]

And he's like.

[B]

He keeps saying, okay.

[A]

He's like, hey, I tell you this. I don't want to wake him up yet. I'm going to enjoy this for a minute without him. Okay. He's a loud person.

[D]

I don't think he's going to be loud today.

[B]

I got this weird.

[A]

Clayton, are you there?

[B]

All right, he's going in there now.

[D]

Any voices? He brought.

[A]

I don't. I brought him up. You can't on the phone, right?

[E]

Huh?

[A]

Okay.

[E]

I hear.

[A]

I hear him breathing.

[B]

Wake him up, Clayton.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Don't wake him up, Clayton. I don't want to talk to him.

[D]

You're not gonna be able to.

[A]

We've got all morning.

[D]

Hey, Go, John. There's the pictures on my Facebook as well.

[A]

Is that Bob?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's Babo making some noise, waking up. It's on the Facebook page, too. You could see him just snoring.

[D]

I mean, just Facebook, John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

Did you record any of it? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

It's the video of him snoring. Just sawing wood.

[D]

Were you up here, Michael? Were you here when he came in?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

We both came in same time.

[D]

Same time. All right.

[A]

But you're. Here's what you need to do, sugar. We've got. We. We've got a stripper left over from last night.

[D]

Yeah, we do.

[A]

Sugar, you there. Slipped here. You don't. What? I just slept here a little bit. Here. You need to go in and whisper in his ear. Whisper? Yes, whisper.

[D]

Where did she come from?

[A]

Oh, I know exactly.

[D]

I know exactly.

[A]

I want you to go help Bobbo and say that I will blank your blank and say, I will blank your blank. Fill in the blank very nicely. Fill in the blanks very firm and. And secure. And the man will rise gently.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Then he'll be happy. See? Going in there and taking a frying pan and banging a wooden spoon against. That's not cool, man. People do that to me. Yeah, that's not cool. That's not what you want to do to your friends.

[D]

Maybe that's a problem.

[A]

She's not cool. No, I will blank. I will blank. I get paid double. Yes. Your plan. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[D]

I know where cabaret she came from. It's when y' all sent me to last night.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Did you know that?

[B]

So after the dinner, everybody's supposed to meet it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Karaoke bar.

[D]

You want me to say the name?

[B]

No, no, because it's not open.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Closed down.

[D]

Apparently. I go to this thing. So I go to this thing. I put it in my gps. When I get there, you have arrived. It's a topless bar.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yes. What did your girlfriend think about that?

[D]

She's like, I don't see where we're going. I said, well, we're not going in there. Not on Camp buoy.

[A]

Is he. Is he up?

[B]

Is he up?

[A]

No. Kind of.

[D]

Oh, here she comes.

[A]

Look in there. He passed the gas. Passing the gas into my face. Passing the gas.

[D]

Is she from Russia?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Baba brought her back. I mean, he. He had some money on him last night.

[D]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

And he damn sure knows how to use the Internet. And it was late. Yeah, I'm not paying her.

[D]

She's in the other room. She come from Back page or do we.

[A]

He passes the guess. 8008-0072-3480-0800-7234. 800, 800 radio.

[D]

How are you?

[A]

Here's what we can do.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Call in and we'll put you on speakerphone.

[B]

You try to wake Baba.

[A]

Can we do that? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How do we do it?

[B]

You just put them on.

[A]

No. Where they can talk to Bobbo in the other room and try to talk him up. Yeah.

[D]

Now they have to have two phones. I can go in there with my phone and you put me on the air and put them on the other phone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That sounds like work.

[D]

Yeah, for you guys.

[A]

It is. It's not worth it. Just let him sleep.

[D]

I did laugh on when we turned around and finally went home last night. Young lady I was with, I just said, that's why I don't drink.

[A]

Why? What happened?

[D]

Just you guys sent me to a topless bar.

[A]

Why did you go in?

[D]

No, we didn't go in.

[A]

Why didn't you go in?

[D]

Because it was a topless bar in camp.

[A]

We didn't go to bed till late.

[B]

We closed down a bar.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Did you?

[B]

They had to kick us out. We were the last ones in the bar.

[A]

They took our full beers away. Super sad.

[B]

It was so late that when John was walking to the bathroom, the guy.

[A]

Said, hey, don't fall asleep in there.

[D]

Did he really?

[A]

That's what he said.

[D]

That's happened before.

[A]

No, not to me.

[D]

Not to you.

[A]

But I don't even know. Don't fall asleep in there. I'm like, yeah, I'm far from it, buddy.

[D]

Other people have.

[A]

I'm high on Red Bull and gin. Yeah.

[B]

There was no sleeping.

[A]

If you take Red Bulls with your drinks.

[D]

Yes, very.

[A]

It's a good pacing mechanism.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You will make it through the night.

[D]

All people. Yeah. People think that's going to keep you sober. It doesn't. You just have a wide awake drunk.

[A]

Okay, well, then that's what I am.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you?

[D]

Well, you're obviously still buzzing. I don't need to.

[A]

I don't know, I've been up since 7. I had a conference call to get on this morning.

[D]

God, I'd give anything for a.

[A]

A blood test.

[D]

Yeah, blood test right now.

[A]

Or blow.

[E]

Blow machine here.

[A]

Why don't you stick your finger in?

[D]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There'll be no sticking of anything.

[A]

Call in. We'll still buy your car. I'm a little tipsy. I think so. I might give a little too much. It is Christmas time. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. We've been gearing up for this big sale. We're having an auction on Tuesday in metro Dallas. I think we're going to have 300 cars ourselves. It's. It's.

[B]

It's crazy, man. And, you know, I got to give it to you, John. You said you wanted to get it done. It's going to happen. I mean, it's.

[A]

You wanted to get it done. You just got to believe, man.

[B]

I mean, it sounds cliche and everything, but it's true. I mean, once you put your mind to it, it'll happen.

[A]

So we're going to.

[E]

Damn it.

[A]

It's going to happen. Yeah, there's a lot of. We. We got a lot of rigs out there.

[D]

How many rigs you got?

[A]

You have any 300?

[D]

Oh, stop it.

[A]

I really think so. I don't know. We. Do we have 300 there yet? No. Do we have 300 bought? Yes.

[D]

Do you have over 200 vehicles at least?

[A]

Oh, yeah, dude, that's crazy.

[B]

Oh, there's 220 something on the ground right now.

[A]

The. The auction guy called me. He's like, man, it looks like it. Train yard out here with these trucks coming in and dumping all this stuff off. And it's just big. It's a lot of nice stuff.

[D]

You've just been throwing. Just buying.

[A]

I've been buying cars like a crackhead monkey. And I'll buy yours too. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. I mean, I've gone too big to stop now. If it doesn't work, they're gonna take me to jail anyway. It doesn't matter. I mean, it just doesn't matter.

[D]

It occurred to me last night when I walked into the. To the restaurant. How many people will work for you now? It's like last year there were like 10. Now there's like 50. So, I mean, literally, I walked into that room and I went, what are all these?

[A]

I had a guy bring me a present yesterday for the Santa gift. Or what y' all do the Santa, he walked in with a bag and I was like, man, you better not, like, be a bomber or something, really. Or a process server. I have a gun on you. He just walked in my office with his bag. I'm like, you who. What are you? I drew you for the Secret Santa.

[B]

Who was.

[A]

Who are you working?

[D]

You work here? Okay, I don't feel nearly as bad. If you don't know him and you write him a check every week.

[A]

My name is something.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And he gave me a Starbucks card, so now I like him.

[D]

Oh, perfect. That's the way to do it with the boss.

[A]

I don't. I don't even know who drew.

[B]

I don't know his name or nothing.

[A]

No, he's somebody's. I don't know. He's one of our vendor's children, I believe.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Oh, Jake. Jacob. JNS Towing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Acme Towing. That's what it is.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

His.

[B]

His nephew.

[A]

Well, he got me a Starbucks or so. Thank you, Jacob from Acme Towing. Acme. I mean, it sounds like the Wiley Coyote. Good morning, Pennsylvania. Good morning, Dallas, Texas. Oklahoma City. I know, but we do still love you.

[E]

Yeah, we did.

[A]

Houston, Texas. We're part of you. Where are we? Are we on in New Orleans? Baton Rouge Already this morning?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Eight o', clock, I think so. I don't know if they start at 8 or 9.

[D]

They start.

[A]

But I. E. If you guys are.

[D]

Up, I know you've been down to the. Down to the French Quarter, and at six o' clock in the morning, you cannot get breakfast yet, but you can get a drink.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

24, seven. I went down there to try to get breakfast once on a Sunday morning. They're like, we don't have food. I'm like, but the bars open. They went, yeah. You want to drink?

[A]

Why do you sound so bad, Charlie?

[B]

Well, because I was probably talking all night long and just lost my voice. And whiskey, too, will do it. Also drinking, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, whiskey.

[A]

I didn't take shots. I don't feel that bad. I mean, I know I might look bad.

[D]

You look bad.

[A]

You know? You ever seen that old medical journal joke? You know, doc goes to the doctor. Docs. I. I look bad, but I. I feel good. Yeah. And the doc's looking through there. It's like, looks good, feels bad. No, no, Looks bad, feels good. Wait, no, Looks good, feels bad. No, no, it looks bad, feels bad. No, he's going through all these. Yeah, he gets looks bad, feels good. Son, you're a vagina. Ladies and gentlemen, bad jokes Saturday morning.

[B]

Yeah, it was almost as bad as that one joke. That girl walked up to the bar and told us.

[A]

It was terrible.

[B]

She had the balls to do that too.

[A]

It was just.

[B]

It's too crude now.

[C]

You can't even clean it up.

[B]

There was very ballsy. If somebody just to walk up. I think she was in Frank. Yeah, I think she was into Babo. Baba was getting. She was very weird. Some weird vibes from just Bob. Bobbo attracts women.

[A]

It was amazing. Bobbo has this new rock star hairdo.

[D]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

And his gut is just right and his hair is just right. He looks like. And he looks like he should. He's either in a band or on the radio. Star.

[D]

I just figured out he looks like David Crosby.

[E]

He does.

[D]

People think he's David Crosby.

[A]

He does.

[D]

A little more hair.

[B]

He was weird. He's just getting all these weird.

[A]

Just.

[D]

Isn't that wild?

[B]

And they were with men too, looking back. And Bob was just smiling away.

[D]

He's got this disarming smile.

[A]

For those of y' all who just tuned in, my name's John Clay wolfe. His name's J.D. ryan. Michael Turley on the equipment, in the.

[D]

Ugly Christmas sweater he was wearing last night.

[A]

Bobbo in the other room, sleeping, still snoring. This is our little ditty that we do till noon. And we actually, in the middle of all our bad bull, we buy your car. So if you want to figure out how that works, just call 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Give me the year, make, model, miles, and I might ask you a couple more questions. But I'll give you an offer. 18 grand. 52 grand. 1800 or just punt. I don't want it because it's junk. And I'll do it right here on the radio.

[B]

They can go to the website, too, because we're buying like crazy at the website.

[A]

Hey, Speaking of last, two weeks ago, guy called in with a 4Runner. And just remember this when you're in the buyer room, I said, okay, I'm gonna hit you with the number so high that you're gonna sell it. He said, okay. And I hit him at 18 grand. And we did buy it, but we're gonna lose a lot of money because he told me it was a four wheel drive. So when y' all hear a John bid it at 18 grand on the radio, that's cool. I mean it.

[B]

But you gotta.

[A]

You gotta check it.

[B]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's two wheel drive. So it's gonna. I mean, there's a 1500 heater I'm gonna take right to the old cod sack.

[B]

I mean, if something. Yeah, if something's amiss, I mean, obviously there's. We got to pay attention to it.

[A]

Sure. It was not a four wheel drive, so that happens. Camaros, Cadillacs, Corvettes, Benzes, Lexuses, cowboy Cadillacs. Diesel trucks. Love the diesel trucks. All that good stuff. And Baba will get up here a little bit, but it's nice without him for a minute. Did you. So you didn't go with us afterwards, J.D.

[D]

No.

[A]

You didn't go to the 80s bar?

[D]

I did not. Didn't know where you went.

[A]

You didn't miss much, but it was nice.

[D]

It was a hell of a party.

[B]

It's a nice place. It's just kind of. It was just different as far as karaoke.

[A]

Anybody say no, that's. We were.

[B]

I guess we were on the hunt for karaoke. And every place we went to was either shut down or not.

[A]

It would have been fun to see Bobbo karaoke.

[D]

Oh, God. Yeah. They have some audio of that.

[E]

All.

[D]

We're gonna get audio from this video, by the way. Anything you think you could do this morning ain't gonna happen. So take that off the board.

[A]

Struggle it. E1.

[B]

He's so struggling.

[A]

Who Bomb?

[B]

Yeah, he was. He was about to be passed out last night.

[D]

I first got here, I thought it was a bit. I thought you guys were setting me up for something. It's like nobody can be that asleep.

[A]

Where did we get the cot?

[D]

He had it. He told me last night. He told me last night at the restaurant. He goes, I got a cotton. A sleeping bag. I'm like, what?

[B]

He leaves it in there.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, that room, if you look in it, it's kind of becoming like a.

[A]

Little like a homeless dope head den.

[B]

Yes. You could probably start renting it out because there's a seat backseat to a jeep that's back there now too. So you've got your own little.

[A]

You know, we used to walk out here and the homeless guys were sleeping on top of the box next to the door of our neighbors. And it kind of looks like that setup, but he just moved it inside.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

It's very similar to that.

[A]

Huh. And that's where Bob is. Okay. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars on the air. Give me the vi n. GiveMeTheven.com GiveMeTheven.com is our website. Be right back.

[C]

Just ain't Saturday without the wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Go to givemetheven.com and you will realize that we are that good. I've been doing this 22 years. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars, about a thousand a month. I make about 300 bucks a car. And that's what we do. In and out, very fast, quick and easy. We lose money, we make money, we run an average and that's how we do it. I can be your dealer friend in the business. Check me out. Givemetheven.com sell us your car.

[C]

Give me the bin.com. so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[E]

It's. Sam.

[A]

Chris Gilmore. Minute 40 till we are back on air. So hang tight. I'm going to take your vet on the air in about 60 seconds.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

Chris Gilmore, good morning. You let me pull him up. You're on the air. Hello.

[E]

Hey, what's going on guys?

[A]

Not much. What have you got?

[E]

Sir, I've got a 2013. It's the 60th anniversary. 427 convertible, fully loaded, black on black Corvette.

[A]

Okay. How many miles got?

[E]

11. 11,000, I think.

[A]

I bid a car just like this for 40 yesterday. Does that sound right?

[E]

40.

[A]

This is the last year of the old body style, but it's the big badass engine and. Yeah, yeah, 427 is it. It's worth 10,000 more than the rest of them, right?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Is it a one essay, a one SB or one sc?

[E]

One essay?

[A]

She told me to show her my essay, but I told her I'm not. I ain't no snitch.

[D]

Really.

[A]

You don't get it.

[D]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[A]

A little. A little south of the border. Hugh. Essay.

[D]

Maybe she'll stay there.

[A]

One essay. How many miles? 11,000 miles. Does 40 grand buy it?

[E]

That'll get close. Man, I tell you what, I love the pictures up for you. It's got a lambo door kits on it too.

[A]

And I don't know if that hurts. I mean, I'm with you. I'm that pro. I mean if we had that all to do over again, we might sit down and have a few cocktails and talk about a little more before we went down there and tore them doors off and stuck them straight up in the air. Yeah. How much did that cost?

[E]

Yeah, about 3,500.

[A]

Yeah. Do they shut?

[E]

Well.

[A]

Or is it kind of. Huh?

[E]

No, they shut. Perfect.

[A]

So where do you Live where you be staying, dog?

[E]

We're off of confederate nasal. Okay?

[A]

We have an office in Fort Worth off Camp Boo in 30, so load it up. 40. I'm solid. I make. I'll give a little more. What's it take to buy it?

[E]

You know, high 40s.

[A]

High 40s then we're not that close. I don't work with that kind of margin, man. You know, low freight. I could I. Let me look at it. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up. Let's go. Thank you. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John clay wolf and I buy cars on the air.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Before I get off the floor, don't bring me down. At givemetheven.com we buy a thousand cars a month and we make about 300 bucks a car. That's a tight margin, but we know what we're doing. That's why I say if I can't beat your carmax offer, I'll gladly give you $100. I can't beat them all, but I beat them most of the time. Givemetheven.com we pick up. We're all online. We're the fastest car deal you've ever seen. Give us a shot. Let us impress you. Givemethevin.com sell us your car.

[C]

Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[E]

Sa.

[A]

Also thought it might look good at.

[F]

Now back to the John clay wolf show. Call them toll free. 1-800-800-RODIO or log on to GoWolf.com this is the John clay wolf show.

[A]

Who is this? Oh, smashing pumpkins.

[D]

Rocket, why don't we play Christmas music today?

[A]

Because everybody's doing that. Everybody does.

[D]

That's too.

[A]

That would be too, too predictable. John.

[E]

Good morning.

[A]

You're on there. Where are you calling from?

[E]

I'm calling from Magnolia.

[A]

Where's magnolia? Is it Houstonish or.

[E]

It's the poor side of the woodland. How's that?

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's in that market, though. We're in the DFW markets where we are today. I didn't know if you were up north, down south. So this is a first. I haven't ever had a call on one of these, but I bought plenty of them. A 2000 cat skid steer, Diesel, high flow wheels. What's a high flow Wheel.

[E]

All right, so it's a 240D. And the high flow means it can run a concrete planer, a forestry attachment, anything that needs 33 gallons a minute or better. Most of them just come with 22 gallons a minute. This thing will. It'll turn concrete flat. It'll take trees and turn them into mulch.

[A]

Okay. Do you have those fittings?

[E]

No, I. I kept those fittings for my. I bought a new 299. That's why I got the 248.

[A]

Did you try to trade this cat, this. This one in, or did you just buy a new one?

[E]

I bought a new one and I was going to run it down to Richie brothers, but that's not till February.

[A]

Hey, hey. I had a bad experience with them.

[E]

Bad. They're hit or miss.

[A]

Yeah, but. But get. Getting paid is hit or miss, too.

[E]

I know they're expensive. They charge you 12% on the front end, and they charge the customer 10%. And then they charge you a holding fee.

[A]

But if they don't pay you, if they don't pay you and you get your thing back and the motors out of it, then.

[E]

Oh, I've gotten. I've gotten paid before.

[A]

I have, too. But I've. I've got an issue with them right now. I've got a Jaguar that they sold, and the guy did. Didn't pay them, so they didn't pay me. But that's not the deal. They're all as is. When you check those things in there, you're committing to an absolute sale. So they could sell it for a dollar, they could sell it for 50,000. And, yeah, they need to pay for their deal. And then the guy. So they never got paid by their customer. Motors blown up.

[E]

What?

[A]

Huh?

[E]

Nothing.

[D]

Right.

[E]

About that.

[A]

No.

[D]

What happens in that case?

[A]

I'm arguing with them.

[D]

I'd say, yeah, if when you got a hold of it, the motor was blown, that's not. That's not the car you bought.

[A]

And they're saying, well, this car had problems. You know, we tracked it down. And you had. In the shop before it was here. Yeah, I had the water pump changed out. Yeah, the water pump was leaking. It didn't get hot.

[D]

And I can show you.

[A]

What does that have to do with this guy not paying and blowing this car up?

[D]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Let's get back to the topic anyway. Hey, this 2000 Cat Scooter Skier, is it like 10 grand?

[E]

10 grand?

[A]

No, I'm not offering. I'm just talking. I don't even know.

[E]

It'S on the low side worth 10 because it's got that high flow on it. It's got a brand new half and a half inch acrylic door on it, which is about fifteen hundred dollars.

[A]

How many hours are on it?

[E]

But it's in good condition. The only reason I traded it in is I need more. I needed more rear end on it for lack of a better.

[A]

How many hours are on it?

[E]

6,000.

[A]

6,000? Does 10 grand buy it?

[E]

10, 11. Somewhere around in there.

[A]

But go to givemetheven.com and load it up and I'll send you. I'll look it over after the show and send you a commitment offer letter. And actually if I say I'll buy it and it's as described, I'll pay you. It's amazing.

[E]

Yeah, I'll even load it on my goose neck and drag it where I need to drag it.

[A]

Okay, man. First time go to go the website. Let's take a look and we'll go from there. Thanks for listening, John.

[E]

Hey, no problem. Thanks a lot.

[A]

Bye. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4.

[B]

You're buying everything now.

[A]

800, 880. I'm gonna put a couple four wheelers in the sale next week too.

[B]

Yeah, why not have a bulldozer roll through there, you know, then have it follow with a Lamborghini?

[A]

It'd just be a crazy mess.

[D]

Now there's all do all the cars to go through your lane. They're all yours.

[A]

They're all ours. We are not sharecropper wannabes that are representing everyone else's cars and calling them ours.

[D]

Okay. I didn't know.

[A]

What's the 40 acres and a mule?

[D]

So. So people that kind of follow you. Really kind of follow your lane.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Your lane.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

And it's grown and grown and grown in. In Wednesday we will have 250. We might have 300. Not Wednesday, Tuesday. Tuesday.

[D]

How long does that take? $200? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's gonna be.

[A]

I'll be peeing in a trash can. Yeah, I mean, you can't get off the ball.

[D]

You can't leave.

[B]

No, it starts at 10. Probably ends about two.

[E]

I would think.

[D]

Four straight hours of that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, man.

[D]

I gotta do the math, see how long that takes.

[A]

It's gonna. It's gonna take a while. Yeah. We're gonna break a record on Tuesday. I don't know if we're gonna make any money, but we're gonna run a lot of cars. We're gonna sell a lot of cars. We're not running Them. We're selling them. Huh.

[B]

I ran the averages. I think we'll do all right.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

As long.

[B]

As long as you just. Yeah. Make the averages will be all right.

[D]

What is your average? Do you mind saying about 320.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

320 bucks.

[B]

I mean, it's a lot of work for it.

[D]

But I'm gonna say that's per car. That's not the end of the day.

[A]

No, it'd be more than that if I didn't have to pay all these people fees.

[D]

Right. Transport cost money just to run a car through. Right. There's a fee just. Oh, yeah.

[A]

For us. Cuz we have such. Yeah. So what's up with Bobo? Is he still alive?

[D]

He's alive, but he doesn't smell like he's alive. Do not go in that room. I don't know what's happened or what he ate last night, but it's. I thought for a minute he was dead.

[A]

Can you hear it?

[D]

Can we? Yeah, let's.

[A]

Let's. On your way out. Let's. Let's.

[D]

Listen those who don't know. We had a Christmas party last night and Babo over imbibed.

[A]

Yeah. And he spent the night in the studio on a car.

[E]

Right.

[A]

And he's still here and he's asleep and nobody can wake him up. He's gonna be very funny when he wakes up and gets on air.

[B]

I'll take the mic in there.

[E]

Hold on.

[A]

You going to take the mic in there? Yeah. Okay. I want to hear it.

[C]

It's 10 minutes till the show.

[A]

Bo had a long night. Bobo.

[B]

It's literally like 15 minutes till the show starts. You going to get up? I know you've been looking at Russ Martin Longley here all night long for some reason, but that's not gonna get you anywhere. You gonna wake up, man.

[A]

Clayton.

[B]

I don't think he's gonna get up.

[A]

Bobbo.

[B]

Seriously, man, you gotta get up.

[A]

Will he rise? Will he stay?

[C]

Stay tuned.

[D]

Stay tuned.

[A]

You'll find out.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

But I quit those days and my redneck waves People say it's too good to be true. How do you buy cars from a website like givemetheven.com without looking at it? Well, I've been doing this 20 years. I know what I'm doing. I'm the largest wholesaler in all of Texas. Givemetheven.com if we don't beat your carmax offer, we'll pay you a hundred dollars. How about that?

[C]

That tell us your car so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Sa.

[E]

Sa. Sa.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

Good morning everyone. Anthony Lewis. Where are you calling from? What have you got?

[E]

99 Mercury Grim Marquis.

[A]

How many miles?

[E]

200.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna punt.

[D]

Fourth down.

[A]

I'm gonna. JD's long snapping me the ball.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

I'm holding it out. I'm punting. That's not me, dog. I don't like it. I think it's a 200 car.

[E]

And it's a beautiful car. Your ride's great and everything.

[A]

I hear you. It's just a 99. And the Mexicans will buy them and take it to Mexico and turn in taxi cap. But I can't sell them. I really can't.

[D]

So where could he sell one? Where?

[A]

Craigslist. Put it on there for 800 bucks and some somebody will come up and offer you two and then say I'll split the difference with you and they'll say no and then just keep coming down until they buy it.

[E]

Right.

[A]

All right. 800. 807. I don't want a hundred dollar cars, guys. That's not what we do. Ron. Oh, Chevy Silverado 4x4. Is it a crew cab or extended?

[E]

It's extended cab.

[A]

123,000 miles. How nice is it?

[E]

It's pretty nice. It's been taken pretty good care of.

[A]

Does eight grand buy it?

[E]

Maybe. Close.

[A]

Yeah. Can you get me some pictures? Are you a truck driver?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

I never get truck drivers, trucks bought.

[C]

Really?

[A]

They call me on all these Mercedes that have been sitting in the garage have 3,000 miles on them. Dude, I've been talking to these truck drivers for 10 years on this show and never. And I can't remember ever we might have one. You think we bought a truck driver car?

[B]

Yes. Thursday. Supposed to be coming all the way from Jackson, Mississippi, driving the truck in.

[A]

What is he bringing us?

[B]

It's a nice truck. It's like a 2500.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's good merch.

[A]

So, Ron, I'll buy your truck even if you are a truck driver.

[C]

I'm.

[A]

I like truck drivers.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

So you got to go to give me the VIN dot. Go to givemetheven.com, load the vent in, send us a couple of pictures. Say, John, bid me at eight grand. It takes X and Then we'll try to get to your number. You know I break a breaker. 1 9. Steve, good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Good morning. I already said that you wouldn't be.

[C]

Interested in my car.

[E]

I'm actually looking to the guy that you just mentioned with the Honda or dealership. He said the guy you went hunting with. I've got a 2006 Hyundai Sonata. It's a V6. It's leather, you know, it's got. Got the sunroof. It's got everything that. It had all the bells and whistles, but it's got high mileage. And I'm just looking to get a new car and want your advice on who I should be working with. Really?

[A]

What brand do you want.

[E]

Taking either Toyota or possibly a Malibu or possibly a Chevy.

[A]

Okay. Classic Chevrolet and Grapevine. If you're from Dallas Fort Worth, see Hagen Durant or Charlie Evans at the Toyota store. Vandergrift, Toyota off 20. Those are my homeboys. Toyota, Toyota, Vandergrift, Toyota and Classic, Chevrolet and gray.

[E]

But appreciate it. Thank you, sir.

[B]

They remembered you went hunting with him because.

[A]

Who's that hunting buddy you got hunting buddy? We went hunting in every city. The. The commercials don't play the same commercial. Oh, really? No. So they, they different people heard different things. In Dallas Fort Worth, I did a. I did an endorsement commercial for a buddy of mine.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

And that's what he was talking about.

[E]

Got it.

[D]

Okay. I didn't hear that.

[A]

Romeria Romo, Tony Romo's dad, has, let's say, about the DAC attack from last Sunday.

[D]

He does.

[A]

Yes, we hope he does. If we can get him up. Yeah, so it's. It's. Yeah. So we'll wake Bobbo up. We start at 8:06. At 9:06.

[D]

9:06. Okay.

[A]

And we'll. Hey, I got an idea.

[D]

Go ahead.

[A]

We'll act like we're starting from scratch and we haven't been on the air yet.

[D]

Okay. He won't know.

[A]

He won't know he's in.

[D]

For those that don't know, maybe you just tuned in. He's in the room next to us, passed out from last night's Christmas party. Literally. Brought a cot, brought a sleeping bag for himself because he knew he was going to drink. Stayed here and he's out. I mean, we've shaken him, we've talked to him. We have done everything. Turn the lights on. Everything. He won't wake up.

[B]

Go to the Facebook page, John Clay Wolf show. And you can see.

[A]

Why don't you go teabag him.

[D]

I don't believe I'll do that, but thanks for sharing first. It's funny because I first thought you guys were pulling a bit on me. So I walked down, wait, I told.

[A]

We have some tea bags next door, real ones. We can lay it on his cheek and see if he thought that. That was the other thing JD did.

[B]

He thought you guys are doing a bit. No, I don't. This is real.

[A]

Everything's a bit, huh? Everything's a bit.

[D]

Well, when it's so obvious that you can't get a guy awake, you know, it's like, okay, you're over, you're over that.

[A]

Yeah, but y' all don't know him. I mean he's a hardcore drinker. He'll smoke some grass, he'll stay up late.

[D]

Boy, he did.

[A]

And I told him, I was like, man, we've got to go to bed, right? It was 2:30, we've got to go to bed. Johnny Wolf, you of all people. He was talking more s than a Christmas turkey. Yeah, he was like a wind up toy. I'm like, dude, I've got a 7 o' clock conference call to be on. Yeah, I've got to get up hour before you. So he hadn't written anything, he hadn't done anything. He has no material.

[B]

We were up until 4. At 3:30 we're rolling through the 3. We're rolling through the jack in the box lane with his convertible top down.

[D]

Yes, of course.

[B]

I mean he was wound up, ready to go. But as soon as he ate that.

[A]

Food, it was done.

[B]

He was out.

[A]

That took him out of the kneecaps. Oh yeah, I know Bobbo. He didn't start calling for girls.

[B]

He probably would have if that burger didn't put him down.

[A]

He'll start calling for girls he don't know. Like girls that, that you gotta negotiate with.

[D]

Right?

[A]

Like us buying cars. 800-800-7 2, 3, 4. Good morning, you're on the air. You just called. We haven't even screened your call yet. Who's this? Jack, Jack, what you got?

[E]

You guys just looking for chucks? You want cars too?

[A]

Oh, cars too. Anything, whatever. I buy anything.

[E]

I'm sitting in right now.

[A]

I'll put, give me, give me your kid dot com. I'll put a number on anything.

[E]

You can't.

[A]

Hey, you can't have one unborn child yet, okay? Where are you calling from?

[E]

Little loan about to walk into work.

[A]

What you what, what? What do you have that you want to sell?

[E]

It's a 16 Focus hatchback actually sexy.

[A]

What's your payoff on that? Let's just get to the. Let's get to the meat of this situation quickly.

[E]

16 3. It's probably not gonna happen but.

[A]

And no it's not.

[E]

Your.

[A]

Your flip flopped. You're upside down. As soon as I heard 16 focus. Yeah, keep listening. We'll be back. 800, 873 for not with that though. I can't help a brother buried. It's just.

[E]

It's rough.

[A]

So Rush limo. He's going to be dialing in.

[D]

Rush will be calling in.

[A]

Hopefully all of the people that Bobbo knows.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Hannah, Bailey, the stripper, Rusty the Randy, the chipmunk, Tony Romo's dad.

[D]

They all went out and parties last night.

[C]

Rush.

[B]

It was the craziest scene too.

[A]

All of them there. I can't imagine none of it. That was weird. Do you remember when he started kicking in between characters? Oh yeah. Did he really?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh yeah.

[A]

He was on. It was.

[D]

It was.

[A]

It was.

[D]

So he was doing the characters?

[A]

Oh yeah.

[E]

Oh, that's good.

[B]

He had an audience. That's all he needs.

[D]

That's all he needs.

[A]

All he needs in a. In a. In a big shot of Jack Daniels and his whole story. If you. Once you go Jack, you never go back. I mean he 99 vet with a buck 28 rich. Is it worth more than six grand or seven grand? Six grand. Six or seven grand.

[E]

Yeah, that's what I was figuring I'd get for it.

[A]

Yeah, I'll buy it.

[E]

You want to driving it into work? Yeah, I'll give you a call this week, John. I happen to be the service director for rest of Wallace Honda. Okay, but I listen to you guys all the time. I'm taking it in, I'm gonna clean it up. I'll throw it maybe three times this year. It's time to.

[A]

Was it. Was it a trade in at the store and you just took it it?

[E]

Oh yeah.

[A]

You know that work. You've got the right money in it. Okay, well then yeah. Did you transfer the title? Is it still on dealer title?

[E]

No, it's in my name.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up. Say John said 6500 on air and here's the pictures, here's the VIN. We'll get her going.

[E]

You bet. It'll be Monday, but I'll take care of that. I want to get it clean part day quick.

[A]

Merry Christmas. I'm going to clean it anyway. Don't even bother Right?

[C]

You bet.

[E]

My man. Y' all be safe. Merry Christmas. Great show.

[A]

Thanks. See you. 800-800-7 2, 3, 4. Who this be? What you got? We're taking calls. Topless, screenless this morning. Hey, it's you. You there?

[E]

Yeah, I'm here.

[A]

What do you got?

[E]

I got a 2016 Silverado.

[A]

Yeah? Is it leather with roof and nav?

[E]

It's got nav. No leather, no sunroof.

[A]

The big back door or the small back door door?

[E]

Cab. The big back door.

[A]

And is it four wheel drive or two?

[E]

It's two wheel drive.

[A]

How many miles? Nine thousand good miles. Mid twenties probably. Yeah. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up and we'll email you exact offer letter. Hey, Darren. When you got a 2000 Equinox with 170 and the motor goes out on it, it don't put a new motor in it. It's not worth it. You there?

[E]

Yeah, I'm here.

[A]

Yeah. It's not worth it. You don't get your money back.

[E]

It was a2010. It's a 2010.

[A]

Right.

[E]

And it was replaced by Chevy.

[A]

Oh. Oh. Did they pay for it or did you have to pay for it?

[E]

No, the Chevy paid for.

[A]

That's good.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's a deal.

[A]

When I sell those things in my way across the auction block, I can't get the money for the story. The new motor, nobody cares. You might be able to get. I think it's worth. It's a 10 equinox. Is it cloth or leather?

[E]

It's leather.

[A]

You know, two grand. I need to see it. Go to. Give me the vin dot com. That goes for everybody. Go to giveme the vi dot com. Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Dallas, Louisiana, Arkansas, all of Houston. Golden Triangle.

[E]

Michael.

[A]

Our tentacles are long and we're in your town. We pick up at your place. The website is. The website. Givemetheven.com. put it in there. We will buy your car. We'll email you an offer letter.

[E]

Now, I really.

[A]

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

[F]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up now. 800. 800 radio. Or log on to gowolf.com now. John Clay Wolf.

[A]

Okay, Charlie. So we're in our number two now. Good morning, everyone.

[D]

Good morning. Time.

[A]

Bob was still asleep. Passed out.

[D]

Passed out from the Christmas party.

[A]

So I'm gonna go in with the speakerphone. I'm gonna call the guy or screener. And I'm gonna walk in there, wake him up, and I'm gonna act like we just started.

[D]

Okay? Like it's an hour ago.

[A]

So you, Mike, you need to play the tripping Daisy, open the intro music and we'll make him think that we.

[D]

Haven'T even started yet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nothing's happened.

[A]

Richard. Richard. 08 Mustang. Is it a GT or a stick? I mean, or a six?

[E]

It's a different Mustang.

[A]

Six cylinder. 08 was 74. Right around. Right around five grand. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up and I'll give you a written answer. Jeremy, a 14 Tundra Crewmax with 27 isn't leather cloth. Where are you from?

[E]

Victoria.

[A]

Okay. Texas. You can't hear us in Victoria, can you? I'm sorry, you can't. We. We're not on the air in Victoria, are we?

[E]

No, I'm just driving through Houston on the way to Beaumont right now.

[A]

Okay, cool. Is this truck, you said it's leather. Is it, is it sunroof and navigation?

[E]

No, that's. It's not. Not leather cloth, no sunroof. It has the entune with nav if you wanted to use it, but I never use it.

[A]

And it's a two wheel drive. A 27? No, it's four wheel drive. Mid, mid, mid 20s or 14 with 27, no gear. Mid 20s. 20. I can look it up and give you an exact. If you go to give me the VIN and load it up, I'll email you an exact offer. It's going to be mid to upper 20s. All right, one more real quick before I go get the fat boy. I got to go get the fat boy. Monty. 11 six inch lift, Platinum F150, four wheel drive. Does it have a sunroof?

[E]

Yes, it does.

[A]

20 grand. Buy it. No, just 25 grand. Buy it. Is an 11. Remember we're in 2017 now, right?

[E]

Yeah, probably not.

[A]

Why?

[E]

That's a. That's trade in on them. That's what Ford's want part.

[D]

Are you.

[A]

Are you wanting to buy it or sell it?

[E]

Sell it.

[A]

What's it take to buy it?

[E]

30.

[A]

Hang on, let me look at something. It's got a six inch lift.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

If I can come up to like 26 and a half or 27, will that do it? Are you gonna be hardcore at 30?

[E]

I'm probably gonna be hardcore.

[A]

Okay, well, let me, let me before I pass. And see, he did me a favor. He told me what it takes to buy it. So I give him what more attention because he's not a stroke. Yeah, Billy. You got any Billy Squire? Stroke. Stroke. He's not. Oh, yeah, no, he's not stroking me, which is good. We need that on tap all the time, by the way. I'm looking it up. Where you. Where. Where you be from? Where are you from?

[E]

Barless in Texas.

[A]

Okay. I am too.

[E]

Are you really?

[A]

Yep. I live between Burleson and the Tollway. My granddad bought that property. Property out there in the late 50s and that's where I grew up. Lived there all my life.

[E]

Awesome.

[A]

Local homeboy. It now is. Is it a. Is it a Teco Boost or a eight cylinder?

[E]

It's an eight cylinder. Yes, sir. It's. It's had all of its maintenance on it ever. Ever time through the 6 inch lift.

[A]

How many. How many miles are on the tires?

[E]

The tires probably got 35 on them.

[A]

So they might need. Yeah, they're gonna need to swap out. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's too high, man. It's just too high.

[C]

Too high.

[A]

Yep. Too high. Too high. Too high. Like the Chinese place. Too high. Okay, so I gotta. I gotta wake up Bob.

[D]

All right.

[A]

And. And just to let everybody know, so we went to company Christmas party last night. And afterwards we went bar hopping and we went to bed at. We got back here at 2:30. I finally got rid of y' all at 2:30. Then y' all went to jack in the crack.

[B]

Yeah, about 3:30, rolling with his. In his Camaro convertible, the top down.

[A]

And then y' all took a he. You gave him a gummy bear.

[B]

Oh, he had a gummy bear earlier.

[A]

What time that was?

[B]

Probably one o' clock or so.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

What's a gummy bear?

[A]

So you got him. He got baked on a gummy bear and then he hit the jack in the box.

[B]

Yeah, and then he had whiskey on top of it.

[A]

I can't get. This guy woke up a gummy bear. It's. It's LS D. It's not either. Okay, so I'm gonna be awake.

[D]

He'd be on top of the building.

[A]

Yeah. When we wake him, it could be like wrestling up a wild caged animal. So be ready with the dumb button because the odds are he's gonna start cussing. Yeah, this will be funny. So I'm gonna call y' all. Right. Now let me. Let me bring this up. How much time do I have? Oh, we got time.

[B]

We got 10 minutes.

[D]

I'll come over there.

[B]

We're gonna do is. I'm gonna replay the. The open two here okay. All right, pull them up.

[C]

All right, hold on.

[B]

We'll pull John out.

[A]

Let me see.

[B]

You gotta unmute the. You gotta unmute the phone. There, John.

[A]

There he goes.

[B]

Yep, we got you.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Okay. I need it to be loud so that he can hear it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'll turn the mic.

[E]

So I'm gonna wake up.

[A]

Hang on a second.

[E]

Let's walk in. God, dude, it smells like ass.

[C]

I know.

[E]

Okay, here we go. All. Right. Wakey, wakey, Honey. What are you doing? What are you doing?

[F]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios. It's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up now. 800-800-Rode. Or log on to GoWolf.com now. John Clay Wolf.

[E]

It's 9 o'. Clock. All right. O'.

[C]

Clock.

[A]

All right.

[B]

What was the scene in there? It was sounding like a rustling.

[A]

It's. It's stinky. Yeah. It smells awful. And he. He's. He's with it. He's gonna be okay. Really. It's gonna be. He's like, okay, man. He gave me the thumbs up. He's got pulse, hearts beating.

[D]

It's all about.

[A]

He thinks we're just starting, so we're just gonna roll with it. Good morning. You're on the air. Who's this? Hello?

[E]

Hello?

[A]

What you got?

[E]

I was trying to sell. Oh, wait. Impala headset.

[A]

How many miles? Quick. Hurry up. Come on.

[B]

This guy's a little high right now.

[E]

Yeah, dude, 141.

[A]

It's gonna be about three grand. Big miles, man. Junk, junk, junk. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. I bought one yesterday for nine. There had 40 on it, so. Hey, baba, we're on the air. Come on, come on. He. He didn't throw up last night, did he?

[B]

No, no. He's a champ. He doesn't throw up.

[D]

No.

[B]

I can't believe he didn't. As many jacks that he drank.

[A]

He did drink a lot of jacks.

[B]

I mean straight.

[D]

Just knock him back.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

You're making my stomach hurt. Just think about it.

[A]

He's not coming. Did he go back down?

[B]

We'll send a. Adrian there.

[A]

Adrian, Tell him we're on the air. We gotta go. He's got a job to do. You got to be responsible at some point in your life. Good morning, everyone. We're just having fun. 84 Silverado is not me. Dave, you there?

[E]

Why not?

[A]

Where are you calling? Yeah, I was just too old. Is it a short bed?

[E]

No, it's not. So it's got 150 on it. Hey, Kelly Blue Book has It listed.

[A]

For 3,700Kelly Blue Balls. Call her and see if she'll give you a check. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4.

[D]

I've been drinking. He's in a good mood today.

[A]

Blue balls will always leave you hanging. And he's getting his. What?

[B]

He's looking at his watch, trying to.

[A]

Make sure he is. Why is he looking at his watch?

[D]

He wants to make sure we're on.

[A]

We're on, Bob. Come on. Good Lord. Oh, so he's figured it out. It doesn't matter.

[B]

He's.

[D]

He can look at his watch all he wants. He ain't figuring nothing out.

[A]

You were a real pro rodeo alcoholic for years.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Wouldn't but see, an alcoholic maintains.

[A]

He's coming. He's up. He threw up. He's up, he said. What's he mad about?

[D]

He's mad. Okay.

[B]

He's yelling.

[A]

He's yelling at her.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

No, S. I know. You don't.

[E]

Ron.

[A]

A 14F150XLT with 100 on it's worth about 14 grand, depending on how nice it is. You there?

[E]

Yeah, I'm here.

[A]

Yeah. If It's a crew cab 13, 14 grand is what I'm thinking. Can you go to givemetheven.com and load it up and we'll confirm that?

[E]

Yeah, I will.

[A]

Thanks. I'll just click through these real quick. We're waiting on Bob. Good morning. Who's this?

[E]

Mark from the Woodlands, Texas.

[A]

Mark from the Woodlands, Texas. What have you got?

[E]

Well, state playoff. State championship playoff game today. But I've got a two 2015 BMW M235i convertible, 38, 000 miles.

[A]

I don't know and I'm too lazy to look. So will you go to getmetheven.com and load it up? If I wasn't so hungover, I'd look. But my deal today is if I don't know it off the top of my head, I'm just not going to do it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

What am I? Your part, Your dance monkey. You said it's a two series, right?

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. M235I.

[A]

It's a M. M235I. I can do it in a second if you'll give me the VIN number. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up and I'll fire you back an offer letter immediately. It's easy car to bid off my software. I just don't know it off the top of my head.

[E]

I will. Milton Strong, 21.

[A]

Okay. Stinks Good morning, Bob. Bobby. Bobby. Hi, Bob. What's up, man?

[D]

Did you.

[C]

What is that, Henry? Some kind of a little joke? Buy the car, Henry. What kind of a patient are you, Henry?

[D]

He lives conscious.

[C]

What happened?

[A]

He lives what?

[C]

Boys and girls, we were having a great time. I looked around, it was 5:00am I was like, just bow.

[A]

You didn't go to bed till 5.

[D]

May have been that.

[B]

I don't even know. It was late, dude.

[A]

Yeah, this.

[C]

This Michael Turley can party.

[D]

I don't think Michael was nearly as.

[C]

He parties.

[D]

Yeah. How about you?

[C]

He makes you go, hey, I've got.

[A]

I've got pro ball equipment in my briefcase if you'd like a BC powder. Because BC is for the pro rodeo cowboy, not the amateur BCs. Endurance, the break. Hey, Cl. Or.

[C]

What's her name?

[B]

Adria.

[A]

Adria. Will you get some BCs out of my BC powder out of my briefcase? Give it to your Uncle Bobbo.

[D]

You want to know the best part about being an alcoholic?

[A]

Yeah. You don't.

[D]

You don't get hangovers.

[C]

Claire don't ever really.

[D]

No.

[C]

Don't ever send her to wake me up. Jesus Christ.

[D]

What she do?

[A]

What did she do? What she do?

[C]

She just looked in the door and I was like, ah. What are you doing?

[A]

She got the. That sock hat on.

[C]

Thank you very much.

[A]

She scare you?

[C]

Yeah, we've been.

[D]

We've been trying to get you up for a while.

[C]

It's almost like. Strip club is here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, be nice having old Clara Bow hanging around.

[A]

Who was that little oriental gal in here this morning?

[D]

Dude, you brought somebody home with you?

[C]

Oh, Kim.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, if you say so. She couldn't speak a lot of English, so we didn't get her full name.

[A]

Well, I didn't say booked him on up. I paid her. I. I paid her. I paid her for you. That's why she was still here.

[C]

I didn't pay her to speak English. J.

[D]

You.

[A]

You didn't pay her? I paid her for you, cuz. I told her to go. And she's like, no payment, fat boy. No pay yet.

[C]

Tear me stay. He tear me stay.

[A]

He know.

[C]

Say you come back. He know.

[A]

Mr. Funny Funny ain't paid for the boom boom yet.

[C]

He said, you paid for boom boom.

[A]

You.

[C]

He tear me stay. Was she guarding me? She was guarding my.

[D]

She was in the room.

[C]

Yeah, my half dead.

[A]

She was sitting on that jeep seat.

[C]

Alcohol poisoned body.

[D]

Yeah. So what time did she come around, by the way? Was that after two or do you know?

[C]

5:30?

[D]

5:30.

[A]

Okay. How do you feel, sir?

[C]

How do I feel?

[A]

Yeah, you sound well.

[C]

Oh, forget about it.

[A]

Yeah, it's like it didn't happen.

[C]

Yeah, listen to my beautiful voice. This, this is what you do. Jd, if you. Listen, let me, let me give you. If you want to break into the radio biz, I'd love to. Here's what you gotta do.

[D]

It's nothing but fun.

[C]

You drink whiskey till four.

[D]

Okay, first of all, this sounds more rock and roll, but go ahead.

[A]

You gotta get an old limo and a limo driver first with a cool ponytail.

[C]

Get to know Craigslist. Craigslist, yeah. Because your hookers are going to be.

[D]

Very important where they come from. Okay?

[C]

Very important.

[D]

All right.

[C]

Around 5am you have to exercise.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

I didn't know Jack in the box.

[D]

Jack in the box, yeah, Very important. I was drinking.

[B]

It was Waffle House. Everything that happened.

[C]

This, no, this is how you survive this kind of self abuse.

[D]

I got you.

[A]

What time? Said roll us through your drinking, your, your cocktailing last night.

[C]

I was with you guys, man. You guys saw the whole thing.

[D]

You weren't totally with us.

[A]

What time did you start? When was your first drink at the restaurant? Honestly? Yeah.

[C]

7:00Am yesterday morning.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

I've been there. I know that feeling.

[C]

No, but I mean, it was a special thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you remember us all drunk last night? You were talking about JD and you're ragging on him. Really? It was so good. I was like, man, let's save this for the air. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't ragged because you were like, he's, you know, I can hear him now, man, you know, you got a problem, Baba. You know you're an alcoholic trying to save you.

[C]

No, but that's, that's the thing. Was jd your, your stereotypical advice for anything, which is, I was like, you know, jd, what do I, you know, I'd like to lose some weight. I've been, I've been lifting, you know, little weights and.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Jogging around. What do you think? And JD's like, you need to go to AA.

[D]

I never said that. I've never said that. You are so flexible of crap.

[C]

Here's the solution to that.

[D]

You are so full of crap.

[C]

You know, I grew my hair out. Jd, I'm using this leave in conditioner, but it's still curly. Buddy, Buddy, look at JD's.

[D]

Look at me.

[C]

You need to go to a.

[D]

No, I don't.

[E]

I don't say that.

[D]

I just look at you and go 12 step, buddy.

[B]

Anything, anything, any advice to get 12 step.

[D]

Yeah. What do you want for lunch? JD AA meeting.

[A]

That's what you were saying? He said he wants to send you to aa. It's just not JD do you think we should send B?

[D]

Absolutely not. You know, because he doesn't want to go.

[E]

No.

[D]

Cuz he's not an alcoholic. Alcoholic wouldn't be hungover.

[A]

He doesn't look hungover. He doesn't sound hungover. He just slept. Sleeping in hangovers. Two different things.

[C]

This soda has a lot of whiskey in it. I think it's.

[E]

It's okay.

[D]

You're getting closer to the A meeting.

[C]

Did you load this up?

[B]

Well, it's a wake up drink.

[A]

Hang on. I want to talk to Morgan real quick. Take that BC powder a bit little make you feel good. Morgan. Good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Good morning. How are you?

[A]

Good. Where you calling from?

[E]

Houston.

[A]

Houston? I've bought about 100 cars out of Houston this week. Transport's running up down the highway, dragging them back to Dallas. 16 Ram Laramie, 32,000 miles. 12 inch lift. So what size tires are on it?

[E]

40.

[A]

Okay. How many miles are on the tires?

[E]

10,000.

[A]

Okay. And does it have a sunroof and factory navigation?

[E]

Yes, it's a Laramie, but they don't all have that.

[A]

Is it a Mega cab or crew? Cab?

[E]

Mega cab.

[A]

16. That's a lot of miles on a 16 that's that big. How did you drive it that much?

[E]

I drive a lot.

[A]

That's one year. It's one year old. You got 30. Does it really have 30, 000 miles on it?

[E]

Yeah, it's not a year, it's a year and a half.

[A]

Okay, well we'll, we'll, we'll 45 grand buy.

[E]

No, not with a 12 inch lift on it. It's a $20,000 lift. Wheels and tires.

[A]

Okay, well 50 grand, buy it.

[E]

55.

[A]

Yeah. You know, if you want to be a car dealer, go run an ad and get your license, man. I mean you know I'm, I mean really, I don't have to make a lot of money, but I'm going to make something.

[C]

You and your lifted tr. You didn't lift it cuz you wanted to.

[A]

Everybody wants retail for their s and I mean run an ad and, and give them your cell phone number, do some test drives and let the. Let you listen to these people tell you about how they can't get financed. I'm a 50 grand buyer. My check clears. You want to take it? I'm, I'm being A little cocky, Morgan, but I'm serious. If. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up. Let's take a look at it before. Before I say no. I'm not giving 55.

[C]

No.

[A]

I will say no to that, but I might give a little more than 50. But I need to see it. So go to givemetheven.com. put the vendor number in. Put the pictures in. Say John quoted me 45 to 50 on the air. That won't bite. This will. Here you go. And we'll make a decision.

[E]

All right. I'll get it done.

[A]

That goes for Everybody else, too. GiveMeTheEven.com we'll be right back.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by. Give me the video.

[A]

Go to givemetheven.com and you will realize that we are that good. I've been doing this 22 years. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars. About a thousand a month. I make about 300 bucks a car. And that's what we do. In and out, very fast, quick and easy. We lose money, we make money. We run an average, and that's how we do it. I can be your dealer friend in the business. Check me out. Givemetheven.com sell us your car.

[C]

Give me the vin.com. so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[E]

Sa. Sam. It's. Sam. It. It.

[A]

Morning.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

Rajawala. Rajahala. Where are you from? Houston. Of course. Right?

[E]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

How could a guy named Raj Wallow not be from Houston? 13 TL. Does it have navigation?

[E]

Yes. Package on it.

[A]

How many miles?

[E]

10,500.

[A]

It's a S. Wait, wait. It's a TL base SH. Or special edition?

[E]

No, it's the tech package.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Not the sh.

[A]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha,. How many miles?

[E]

Ten.

[D]

Five.

[A]

That's good. Miles, huh? Is it a lease or did you buy it?

[E]

No, I bought it.

[A]

Do you have a title? No.

[E]

It's on the dealer with the bank payoff.

[A]

Is your payoff More than 16 grand?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Is it more than 17 grand?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Is it more Than 18 grand?

[E]

It's low 20s.

[A]

Yeah. You're going to have to pay to get out of it. Dog. The money on it's like 18 grand. Okay. All right. Call in.

[B]

800.

[A]

800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800. 800 radio. That's what we'll give. We bid cars we buy cars. You can also just go to givemetheven.com Bobbo is up. He is love and love is alive. Just like the judge used to sing about. We'll be right back. My name is John clay wolf and I buy cars on the radio and on the [e-mail].

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com don't.

[A]

Carry me too far away. At givemetheven.com we buy a thousand cars a month and we make about 300 bucks a car. That's a tight margin, but we know what we're doing. That's why I say if I can't beat your carmax offer, I'll gladly give you $100. I can't beat them all, but I beat them most of the time. Givemetheven.com we pick up. We're all online. We're the fastest car deal you've ever seen. Give us a shot. Let us impress you. GiveMeTheVin.com sell us your car. Hey, Sean, I don't want to take a 08 Ultimate 102 to the air.

[E]

Underwear.

[A]

I forgot we were live. Hey, Sean, this is John.

[E]

Hey, John.

[A]

We're on break right now. What it said it submitted to give me the vin. Did you not like what we offered you or did they not get back with you?

[E]

Yeah, no, they did. I got an offer like four months ago for 5,500. Then I just got one last week for like 4,000.

[A]

For a thousand.

[E]

4,000.

[A]

Yeah. It changed. These Nissans, they're everywhere. Nobody wants them.

[C]

That.

[A]

That all lines up with what I'm seeing in the market. They're massive. I'm kind of dodging them, if you want to know the truth. Because. Because there's too many on the market. Even. Even the high milers, I think. 4,000. Is it leather or roof?

[E]

Yeah, it has a moonroof.

[A]

Is it leather or cloth?

[E]

Cloth.

[A]

Well, I'll look at something just to appease you. Oh, wait. Nissan bought it back in college.

[E]

I'm the first owner. The only owner, actually. Right.

[A]

Why didn't you sell it when we offered you 55?

[E]

I ended up buying a house.

[A]

Okay. Is it a four cylinder or six? It's a four. It's a six.

[E]

Six.

[A]

You sure?

[E]

Yeah, it's a six.

[A]

Okay. Is it two door or four door?

[E]

Two door. Okay.

[A]

And it's a cloth se. Cloth se? Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Average Refer clip.

[E]

Clean. It's. It's pretty clean.

[A]

Okay. 96, 000 miles. Sold in California. Mannheim Auto Auction for 4200 last week. 100,000 even. Fort Lauderdale. 3, 800 last week. Here's one for 5300 in Atlanta with 101. Here's one for 3300 in California for third. One hundred and twelve. So. So the money's. You know, that. That's where we're coming from. What's it take to buy it?

[E]

Sorry, what did you say?

[A]

What does it take to buy it?

[E]

Oh, for me. I'll take 45.

[A]

Okay. Do this. Go. The communication you're using with your buyer. Do you have an email with them? Your buyer at my company. You're giving me the VIN person?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Write them back and say, I'll sell it. Takes 4,500 to buy this car. John said he wants to look at it again. Again. And I will.

[E]

Okay. All right. Okay.

[A]

Thanks, man.

[E]

All right. Bye. All right. Thanks, Jeff.

[C]

You know it.

[B]

Come on.

[F]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio Studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolfe Show. Hit him up now. 800. 800 radio. Or log on to gowolf.com now. John Clay Wolfe.

[A]

Bob, I thought I was gonna need you to do the big intro. I didn't realize that Rohira. Jerry Rohira was in the other room to do the big intro.

[C]

Don't go anywhere. Saturday morning with the John Clay Wolf Show. Now love is alive with the Dreamweaver himself, Gary Scary Ride live and in stereo Dolby on your Saturday morning radio. It may rain, but it brings no pain. Okay, time for a A with JD Reels.

[D]

By the way, anybody that's in AAA would never tell you to go today, by the way.

[C]

Are you kidding?

[D]

That out there? Never.

[C]

Okay, then you tell me all the.

[D]

Time I never tell you that.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

It's in your head, dude.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

No, I don't.

[E]

J.D.

[C]

I'M thinking this is a conversation from just this morning.

[D]

Dude, it's happening in your head.

[C]

About 7:00am JD they're gonna get a bicycle. You know, he says, go to AA instead.

[D]

Not true.

[C]

It's gonna be good for you.

[D]

Not true.

[A]

So y' all went on a food run after I went to bed last night.

[E]

It.

[C]

Bob, did we.

[B]

Yes, we did.

[A]

Jack in the Crack with the convertible top down.

[B]

It was so nice outside. It's like 70 degrees.

[A]

Do you not remember going to Jack in the Crack?

[C]

Oh, yeah, we did.

[A]

What you order?

[C]

We don't call it that.

[A]

What'd you Order. What did you order?

[C]

I always get the ultimate bacon cheeseburger.

[A]

Is that what he got, Turley?

[B]

That and some French fries.

[A]

Curly or straight?

[B]

He went with the straight. I went with the curly.

[C]

I want no curly fries.

[D]

So you were talking about some chick at the bar.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What happened?

[C]

Some lady.

[E]

Lady.

[C]

Excuse me.

[D]

Pardon me.

[A]

Chick.

[D]

Chick at the bar.

[C]

What are you Arthur Fonzarelli now? You're chick?

[D]

Some chick at the bar.

[C]

Hey, Cunningham, come here.

[E]

Let me.

[C]

Let me show you the chick that I met at the bar.

[D]

Hey, whatever.

[C]

Let me take my leather jacket off for a second.

[D]

This is from a guy who couldn't wake up until nine.

[A]

Big Al, come out here. Look at this chick.

[C]

Hey, Mrs. Cunningham, wash my jeans for me. I met a chick.

[D]

Now you're gonna be correct.

[A]

That's crazy. Okay.

[D]

Some lovely young woman, alcoholic, also, that you met.

[C]

We went to a very nice local outlet. This is John's idea. And we went everywhere last night.

[A]

Everywhere. We had a limo and one of our. Give me the VIN drivers was driving us around. And he'd never driven a limo before, so he was hitting things.

[B]

The first time he gets in the limo, he's backing up and he hits a wall.

[D]

Boom.

[A]

It's like, have you. Have you driven a limo before?

[B]

He goes, no, no, this is my first time. He's like, oh, this would be fun.

[A]

We pull into the first bar we go to and. And he doesn't think about the length of the car. So you have to hit these entries to driveways at angles. And he just drug that thing. And we just. You can just feel it under your feet. I'm like, man, I think the exhaust system's going to be hanging out behind this when we get over this hump. We made it.

[C]

That was a. Not saying the name of the establishment or anything, but that was about a three quarter of an alternative lifestyle establishment restaurant. I didn't see a mixed couple in the whole place.

[A]

Which one?

[C]

The first place.

[B]

Oh, the.

[A]

The Mexican food restaurant.

[B]

Sarah's Place.

[C]

I didn't want to say the name of it.

[A]

Oh, God, man, that is a hole. Dude. You think it's a gay bar? I think it was a gay bar. It used to be called Pirates Cove. It's next to a. An Arab gas station. And that's what I told Hooter. I'm like, this is a gay bar. No, it's not, bro. It's cool. And we get in there, I'm like. I felt like I was something in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

[C]

A little bit Threatened? You feel a little bit threatened?

[A]

Yeah. But they weren't. The people weren't as divey is the place look.

[B]

No.

[A]

Did you notice that? Yeah.

[C]

No.

[D]

No.

[C]

Well they've come a long way.

[A]

Who's they?

[C]

The patrons at the bar.

[A]

Okay. So you think that it's a destination.

[C]

I didn't see a mixed couple all night.

[A]

And you don't mean black and white.

[C]

No.

[D]

You didn't see a man and a woman together all night.

[C]

The bartender was extremely slow. And it was him all by himself. And he had that little hat.

[A]

Did it say Pirates Cove?

[C]

Like a little miniature. Yeah. Bowler hat.

[A]

Isn't there gay Barnes in a movie called Pirates?

[C]

Sure there is.

[D]

It's perfect name. What happened to the chick that you.

[C]

Met at the bar? Well this was three bars later.

[A]

Yeah. We've got to do this in pieces man.

[D]

My bad.

[A]

Yeah. We'll start at the gay bar.

[D]

I thought it was the same gay.

[A]

Bar we went to the other the. The Anthony thing. Turley had this big plan. We're gonna go eat. And we. We rented out this Mexican place. Everybody went. You were there?

[D]

I was there.

[A]

And then we got in the limo and went to the karaoke bar that was closed. The limo driver drug the bottom of the car. Damn near got us high centered.

[C]

Damn near.

[A]

And then we. So it's like a caravan of cars.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're driving this hoop DS limo.

[B]

96 maybe.

[A]

Yeah. Deville.

[D]

I asked you where you got that and you didn't know.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I just showed up. It's not worth much.

[D]

No.

[A]

But it was pretty nice.

[B]

Inside is really.

[A]

Actually I enjoyed it. I would do that again anytime actually if we could buy that limo for a decent price. Unless we are. Maybe I already bought it. Did I buy it? I don't know.

[B]

Maybe we'll find out.

[D]

Should I buy it.

[A]

And as.

[C]

As the quality of the bars got better and better value. The value of our souls got lower and lower inverse.

[D]

I understand.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What would we have plenty to talk about last night. We've got to go to break right now. Give me the vin.com. it is so easy. You can do it in your underwear. John. An 08 Ford Focus with 160 is worth $500. You there?

[E]

Oh wow.

[A]

Yep. 500. 06 Honda Accord with a buck 20. Aaron. Is it leather or cloth? Is it leather or cloth?

[E]

It's cloth.

[A]

Okay. Is it a four door or two?

[E]

Four door.

[A]

Four grand. Div is nice. These are four grand. If it's nice go to givemetheven.com and send us the VIN number and some pictures. 4006 Honda Core with 112. If it's. If it's nice, if it's POS and all banged up, then I've got to buy it cheaper. But I can't tell until I get the pictures. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio, big trucks, Denali's vets all. We buy everything, dude. 500 to 200,000. I've got a blam Lamborghini Gallardo sitting in my auction lane over at metro auction, Dallas. We're gonna sell it Tuesday morning and for dealers in the whole region. You need to be at metro for the Christmas sale next Tuesday morning. We're giving away $150,000 worth of prizes and gifts. Yep, Berkshire hathaway's gonna have a thousand cars. We've got 300. Anyway, we'll be right back.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the word wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

You know that only the good die. People say it's too good to be true. How do you buy cars from a website like givemetheven.com without looking at it? Well, I've been doing this 20 years. I know what I'm doing. I'm the largest wholesaler in all of Texas. Givemetheven.com if we don't beat your carmax offer, we'll pay you $100. How about that?

[C]

Tell us your car. Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underw.

[E]

It. Sam. Sa.

[A]

Hey, I'm Jeff sudakin.

[B]

I'm executive music.

[E]

Sam.

[C]

Mom got drunk and dad got drunk.

[A]

At a Christmas party.

[C]

We were drinking.

[E]

It. Sa. J.

[F]

Now back to the John clay wolf show. Call them toll free 1-800-800-RODIO or log on to GoWolf.com. this is the John clay wolf show.

[C]

Mom got drunk and dad got drunk.

[A]

At our Christmas party.

[C]

We were drinking champagne, punching homemade eggnog.

[A]

He sings about like I feel the Christmas party was last night. Has anybody seen office party or Christmas party the movie yet? No, no, I think it's going to be good.

[C]

I may have gone to see it this morning at around 6.

[D]

You didn't get up.

[A]

Is this the chorus? You know the words, Bob.

[D]

The chorus.

[C]

There's another.

[D]

The hook is Merry Christmas from the family. He hadn't hit that yet.

[C]

There's another family member.

[A]

Hey, Billy. In 05.220, 000 mile. Lariat crew cab. Four wheel drive with 200 on it. 220. Is it nice or is it rough?

[E]

No, it's in good shape. It's got. I mean, the guy. I'm trying. I'm looking at buying the truck, actually. If that's not. The guy's got, like, every maintenance record on it since it was moved.

[A]

What will he sell it for?

[E]

Huh?

[A]

What will he sell it for?

[E]

Yeah, that's the most. A little under 11.

[A]

It's too high. Stoop now. Pass 220, 000 miles. I mean, how long is he gonna make it? Nah, I would. I would. I'd give six grand for the truck.

[E]

Six?

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, they just. They, they.

[E]

I figured he was high.

[A]

They only last so long.

[C]

Oh, he was high.

[E]

Yeah, right.

[A]

He was high as hell. And when the. When the rod flies through the engine block and through the hood and through the windshield and kills your dog sitting next to you, who's gonna pay for that?

[D]

Right?

[A]

It's not just the engine. It's the dead dog.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And this causes problems. And you need to tell him that. Actually, when you're done with your store, you need to offer him four.

[D]

Here he goes. Merry Christmas from the family.

[A]

Who is this? Who's the singer?

[D]

Robert Earl Keane.

[A]

When I was booking a concert about, we were doing the wolf dance.

[C]

93, 94.

[E]

1.

[A]

No, it was.

[C]

Oh, wolf.

[A]

Oh, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had Ingram and Eddie Raven and blah, blah, blah. And I was looking for action. I was calling, calling the booking ages, and I was like, how much is Chris LeDoux? Yeah. In 08.

[D]

Oh, well, eight. Yeah. No, eight. Well, he's really affordable.

[A]

He's really hard to get a hold of these days. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, he's dead.

[C]

That is. That's expensive.

[D]

Well, how about Eddie Rabbit?

[A]

I didn't know Chris Ledoux died.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What. What got him? Copenhagen.

[D]

I think it was cancer.

[A]

Copenhagen flavor? Copenhagen. Well, how about Dan Fogelberg? 11 Dodge. Duly. Is it a four wheel drive or a two lance?

[E]

Four wheel drive.

[A]

Leather or cloth?

[E]

Cloth.

[A]

800-800-7234 is the calling number. What's 225 area code? Is that New Orleans?

[E]

Oh, Baton Rouge.

[A]

Is it a Laramie or a Longhorn?

[E]

Longhorn.

[A]

Okay, so it's a Longhorn crew cab or extended. I'm sorry, mega or crew? Okay, 11 Laramie Longhorn, four wheel drive, dually with 73, 000 miles. Crew cab, not mega cab. Does it have a sunroof? And navigation?

[E]

It's got navigation.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Six speed?

[A]

It's a stick. Okay. Average rough or clean. And how are the tires?

[E]

Tires? Probably 70. And it's clean.

[A]

It's 30 grand. Bite, Maybe I need to see it. Can you take a couple pictures and shoot them to me?

[E]

Yep.

[A]

Give me the vi n.GiveMeTheEven.com and we actually had. How quick are you wanting to do this?

[E]

Couple. A week or so.

[A]

Okay. Because I've got transports down in Baton Rouge today, actually picking up cars that I bought. So I didn't know if you want to do it right now, but we. We can do it next week. I buy cars out of South Louisiana every day. All right, give me the vin dot com. Go there. I'll buy this truck. I'll get this truck bought. Whatever's fair. I'll damn sure give it. That's what I promise you.

[E]

All right.

[A]

All right, man. Thanks. 800. 800. Seven, two, three. Whatever's fair. You like that, Bob? Whatever's fair. Does that sound like Lindy?

[C]

Hell yes.

[A]

Lindy Parr. That's a.

[C]

That's a serious guy right there.

[D]

Can we get back to Bible's night?

[A]

Yeah, we were. Okay. We went to the Max Risking place.

[C]

Wasn't just my night, J.D.

[A]

And then we went to the place that Turley had all planned out that was closed. Out of business.

[D]

I know y' all said.

[A]

And then we went to a gay bar called Pirates Cove that wasn't supposed to be a gay bar that nobody's admitting is a gay bar, but I think it's a game.

[C]

Well, it wasn't a flaming gay bar.

[A]

No.

[D]

Pirates Cove.

[C]

No, it was just kind of a.

[A]

It's in a shopping center that's next to a convenience store where the guy is behind bulletproof glass gas. And the gas pumps are covered with plastic that says out of gas. I mean, it's a. It's a shiny place.

[D]

Yeah, I bet.

[C]

And a handwritten sign that says, no change without purchase.

[A]

I went next door and got some snuff. And I was scared.

[C]

More of an expensive.

[A]

There were some people looking at me.

[D]

Like, okay, this is the first stop.

[A]

Yes. This is the gay bar.

[D]

This is the gay bar.

[A]

Pirates, Pirates Cove.

[C]

They're sizing, But Cove. They're sizing you up.

[D]

Leather rodeo. That would have been. That would be the only other leather.

[A]

Rodeo title of a place. Okay, so then we left Pirates Cove, and Turley's gonna get. Take us to another place. Charlie's a hell of a navigator, by the way. So. So then. And we've got a driver that's never drove a limo before, so he keeps hitting. This is a long limo too. So we're gonna go to some 80s bar.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And we get there and it's. It's closed. Oh, it's out of business. But we split up. Actually, I got out of the car, out of the limo on a road with Craig because Baba was talking too much or something.

[C]

That was the smartest thing you did all night.

[A]

And then we go into this other place, the 80s bar that's closed. And we can't get in because it's closed. So Charlie had said. Oh, yeah, I forgot it moved downtown. So we go downtown and.

[C]

And there's this little evil, less than zero type bar.

[E]

Bar.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Oh, yeah. All right.

[C]

Like a bright lights, big city type. I would not have been surprised to see Michael J. Fox snorting a line of something off the barn. Him and Keefer Sutherland. Okay.

[A]

When we walked in, your razor was on the stereo in the video was playing.

[C]

It was awesome.

[A]

Your razor?

[C]

Yeah, awesome. Awesome Bar.

[A]

Left a gay bar and went to an 80s bar that's playing your razor. Go ahead, Bob club.

[C]

It's awesome Bar.

[B]

And as soon as we walked in, Baba walked in, his hair just kind of went back and he just walked.

[A]

Straight to the dance floor.

[B]

I was like, where's he going? He just walked right through the dance floor like he owned the place.

[A]

Very much Starsky and Hutch.

[D]

I got this.

[A]

The disco scene.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But you know why that is? That's because I'm a maniac.

[A]

Apparently.

[C]

I'm a maniac on the floor and I'm dancing like I've never danced before.

[A]

Connie and Frankie are. Are. Frankie is African American. Connie is Hispanic heritage. And they both commented to me what they say. It was funny. But they noted something I did not note there. This place is just all crackers. There is not a Mexican any 10 of anything off white anywhere in this place.

[C]

If that was. Wasn't it.

[A]

I didn't even think about it. Did you?

[C]

No.

[A]

No place in the world. I told Our 80s dance club is Sean Whites only.

[C]

I guess I was saying this is like Disneyland for people our age.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They're playing Rick Springfield videos, man.

[D]

God.

[C]

You know, John and I, we're stumbling. We're stumbling trying to get out of the place. Right? So there's one point. Remember where I had to live? Lean that chair up against the table. We walk by and there's a. There's a woman sitting there at the table looking right at both of us. I said, hi, I'm Ben Stiller.

[A]

And you said, you're the most. You're the best looking girl in here.

[C]

The best looking girl in this place.

[A]

That was funny.

[C]

Hey, baby.

[A]

So then we left there and we went. When did you eat this gummy bear?

[C]

I like the way you put your hair up.

[B]

Is that Pirate Cove? Did you eat it?

[C]

That was at the Pirate Cove.

[D]

I'm the only one that doesn't know what a gummy bear is.

[A]

Oh, it's an edible from Colorado.

[C]

I think I had more than one.

[D]

I don't know if it was a shot or if it was something you actually eat.

[A]

You think you had more than one? Yeah. Did you feel it?

[C]

There was some. I didn't want to tell you about this, John, but there was some illegal contraband going around some of the members of the party last night. And I was knowing. I was first immediately offended. Okay, you.

[A]

No.

[C]

But then, you know, my little. My little peer pressure.

[A]

I want to hear about it, but I got to go a break and I got to bid a couple cars. I do want to hear all about it. We'll get that on the next segment. And Tony Roma's dad's coming up and we've got to get some other stuff. We've been doing a lot of stuff. We're just still coming out of our funk. Wes, an 11 Corolla S with 80s leather. Cloth.

[E]

Is it what?

[A]

Leather or cloth? Hey, screener, I need leather or cloth across the board on everything you heard. I'm sick of asking that all day. Leather or cloth?

[E]

Cloth.

[A]

Cloth. Automatic or stick?

[E]

Automatic.

[A]

Eight grand. Seven grand. Seven grand. Eight or seven grand. Is that. Does that buy it? Yeah, okay, we'll buy it. Go to givemetheven.com, load it up and I'll buy it. Bobby, 16 Crosstrek Subaru. Where are you calling from?

[E]

Houston, of course.

[A]

Oh, we've got a heart out. But your name isn't Rabhool Lobby. Hamabi salami.

[C]

Do I get.

[A]

Hey, Bobby, I've got to go. I got to go to break. I got a heart out. I'm sorry, 16, I'm going to put you on hold. I'll take you off air. We'll be right back. My name is John Clay Wolf. 800. 800 radio.

[E]

Sam. It.

[A]

All right. There you are, Bobby. A16 Subaru Cross Track.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

What color?

[E]

It's. It's called desert khaki, but it's a. It's like a tan.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Flat tan.

[A]

Is it a hybrid or gas?

[E]

It's gas.

[A]

Limited. Premium or base?

[E]

Premium.

[A]

Okay. Sunroof and navigation?

[E]

Sunroof. No nav.

[A]

Okay. Automatic or hog leg stick?

[E]

Automatic.

[A]

And the miles are 16. What's your mission? Are you going to trade it or sell it?

[E]

Yeah, you know, I. I initially wanted to. I got it to commute back and forth from here to Dallas, and I initially wanted a truck, so I'm looking at F150s right now. So I'm trying to sell it, trade.

[A]

It, whatever you'd be better off trading. It's the truth. Because the tax credit. Do you want to. Do you want to lease a new F150? What's your payoff on the. This thing?

[E]

Payoff is 23.

[A]

You're a little. You're a little flipped in it.

[E]

Yeah, not bad. 500.

[A]

That means maybe more. Yeah, I mean, I. I'm looking at transactions and I don't see any bringing 22.

[E]

5.

[A]

They're all bringing 20. They're all bringing 20. 20,000 8, 20,000 3, 20,0004-200002-00120,000 5. There's a lot of them right here. They're all factory sales and they're all current. Last week in Denver. 16 crosstrek premiums. Yeah, they're all bringing 20.

[E]

It's all Denver. It makes sense with weather.

[A]

Here's some new jerseys. But, yeah, the highest one that's ever sold is 21. 3. So, no, it's not worth 22. Just figure 20 grand.

[E]

20.

[A]

Yeah. And if you go to givemetheven.com loaded up, we've got a finance company that we work with that can get any car. It's DM leasing, and they can get any car, any. Anything. So they buy it from the dealer and wrap the lease on it and sell it to you. Our customers been real happy with that. So if you want us to get you in touch with them, we can bid the car and then send you to them and they can get you quoted on a new one and roll your negative equity into that one.

[E]

Roll it into the truck.

[A]

Yep.

[E]

Awesome.

[A]

So go.

[E]

Go to the. The site. Give me the vin.

[A]

Yep. And click trading in. In on the. On the comments. But talk to John. Want to go to the finance. He said to get me in touch with the finance co. And they'll know what to do. And when I go in there after the show, we'll talk. I'll. God damn, I'm hungover, dude. I can't Even talk.

[E]

John. I just rolled up into work, man, so I probably won't be able to get this.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[A]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800800 radio. Hey, Brad. An 06 STS. It says V trim. What's V trim mean?

[E]

That means it's got the supercharged engine. It's got the, you know, the four point. I think it's 4.8 supercharged engine and.

[A]

Oh, I know it's a V. Okay. I mean, it's stsv. Gotcha. I never heard it called V trim. Yeah, it's like a CTSV or stsv. I got it. Does this have a sunroof? What color is it?

[E]

Silver, has sunroof navigation, and has DVD in the headrest.

[A]

Where do you live?

[E]

Mansfield.

[A]

Okay. I don't know where that is. An STSV with 60,000 miles on it. Do you owe anything on it?

[E]

No.

[A]

Okay. Do you want to sell it?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, 10 grand buy it.

[E]

How much?

[A]

10?

[E]

No.

[A]

Will 11 grand buy it? No. Will 12 grand buy it?

[E]

No.

[A]

It's got how many miles on it?

[E]

62,000.

[A]

Do you want to sell it?

[E]

I do, but, I mean, I was looking for. And you can tell me if I'm way off. I was looking around. 16.

[A]

Yeah. Retail. No, you're not way off. I mean, you can ask anything you want. Retail, it is.06. It's a few body styles old.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

The reason I started you so low is because I just had a feeling you were gonna be high. And no matter what I say to anybody, J.D. they always want more. If I hit them a thousand over what they want, they still want more.

[D]

Yeah, because people are used to going to car lots, and that's what you do. You always negotiate.

[A]

I am a check writer, and I'm a now person, so, I mean, you don't have to jack with anything. And we'll back come to you and pick it up with a check or you can bring it over to our office. Well, 13. Five by the car.

[E]

How about 15?

[A]

I can't make any money. Fifteen? I make 300 bucks a car, man. No, no joke. 320 to be exact. And we do a lot of them. But I mean, I. I'm a. I'm a. How.

[E]

Okay, how about 14?

[A]

I think that's what I can get for it, and I can't do it for free. How about 13 5?

[E]

13 5. Okay, I'll do 13 5.

[A]

Okay, go to go to go to givemetheven.com load it up. Say, John, look, John bought this car for 13:5. What's next? And they'll get. They'll get right on it. If you want to do it today, get ready to go. Go look for the title and get ready to bring to Fort Worth. We can write you check today. Banks right around the corner.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. It's time, ladies and gentlemen, for the top ten.

[C]

Yeah. Casey.

[D]

Good morning, John. Good morning. How come this room Room smells like tequila? Smells hot in here. Hey, we have a top 10 list today. It's a Christmas top 10, Johnny. Yeah, it's the worst Christmas toys that actually were produced. These were on the market. Hard to believe. I'm not making it up. Here we go. Ready? Number 10, Pole Dancing Barbie was released in 2009 in the United Kingdom and pulled from the shelves in 2010. A real toy. Number nine, Harry Potter flying and vibrating broom. Think about it for a second.

[A]

I did.

[D]

All right. Obviously Hasbro didn't.

[A]

And how long did that last?

[D]

That lasted a year.

[A]

I think somebody had one of those at the gay bar that we were at last night. Imagine a witch flying around on a vibrating. Don't throw up, Bob. Are you fix to throw up?

[C]

Witch is a bad name. Nomenclature.

[A]

You look like. Like you're about to vomit.

[C]

Yeah, I think they prefer hoes.

[A]

He's, he's. Dude, I was watching him heave over there. You know when you start to throw up and you're like catching it? Baba, if you're gonna throw up, will you go in there?

[C]

I didn't want to laugh with the vocoder setting up.

[A]

Okay, what number are you on?

[D]

Number eight.

[E]

Number eight.

[D]

The baby's first baby doll. This was released in the United States. Shows a child of four with stretch marks and a detachment fetus inside. Nasty. A Japanese company made the brief. Made briefly imported a thing called Pretty Death. A bedazzled noose. A real noose with little, little bedazzles on it. A noose for kids. Really? In 2013, these are real folks. The Play Doh company made Play do fake poo with little molds to make it look more real.

[A]

Molds?

[D]

Molds.

[E]

Molds.

[D]

Like you put it in there and make it look like a real thing.

[A]

Like it had mold on the dew.

[D]

No, like you mold the play do and you make it look like someone has discharged it. And it also had ready those real little plastic corn to insert into it to make it look more real. Shut up. That's the truth.

[E]

Shut up.

[D]

And here's the weirdest part.

[A]

It sold well. What about black olives?

[D]

It's still there. Number five. In 2003, a company released the breast milk baby that was recommended for girls as young as two. Comes with a little fake breast apron and a baby that makes sucking noises. True story number this year. That's right. 2016, a Chinese company came out with comic egg which is a fake. A fake Russian roulette game. Instead of bullets, you get random randomly kicked in the head by a pink hippo. True story number three, the Police electric. Which we should have one of these today. The Police Electric baton shock for kids of 4 years old with a real electric shock. Here's the lovely straight jacket for kids. A real looking functional straight jacket with pretty flower prints.

[A]

I'd like one of those.

[D]

It's a timeout they'll never forget. And finally, Mattel actually came out with this one. You know Barbie's sister is called Skipper. Well, this is growing up. Skipper that actually grows pubic hair and gets boobs when you. Wait for it. Twist her arm. True story. Ladies and gentlemen, there's your top 10 really inappropriate gifts.

[C]

No girl just like that for Christmas.

[D]

Merry Christmas from Casey. Keep your feet in the ground. Keep reaching for the stars.

[A]

Thanks Casey.

[C]

She Caucasian girl.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

800-872-34800.

[D]

He smells like death.

[A]

And you guys smell like 09F.150 with 136. Kevin. It's a crew cab or extended?

[E]

The extended. So like door and a half.

[A]

Two wheel drive or four?

[E]

Four. Four wheel drive.

[A]

Four wheel drive. 136xlt average. Rough or clean?

[E]

Clean. Clean.

[A]

Seven grand.

[E]

How much?

[A]

Seven grand.

[D]

So.

[E]

No.

[C]

Oh, hey, dude, you're the one that.

[A]

Put 140000 miles on it, not me. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[D]

I love Ford Escape.

[E]

Just.

[D]

Just clicked 100000 miles. I thought John's gonna hate me when I go to sell this.

[A]

Yeah. How many's got?

[E]

100.

[D]

Just clicked 100.

[A]

That's fine. But guess what? It's not worth what it was when you bought it.

[D]

I'm with you.

[C]

I just keep driving it, man.

[D]

I'm gonna drive it till the wheels come out.

[A]

A 98 Ford Expedition with 360,000 miles. What I suggest you do is. Do you have a Christmas party coming up?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I'd use that thing and really just party down in it. Wreck it Trash it and bounce it off walls and spray paint it.

[E]

I just want to see what number you throw out.

[A]

I understand. Zero.

[E]

Can I trade it for the kids? Straight jacket.

[A]

Yes, I would.

[E]

Good.

[A]

It's just zero. It's worth zero. I would just. I'd jump it. I'd get video of me jumping it and put it on my Facebook profile. See how high you can jump without hurting yourself. That's what I do. All right.

[D]

Pretend it's a rental car. Just destroy it.

[A]

And I got screwed by hurts this week. Left. Yeah. Two days. I had a car. They sent me a bill for 1200.

[D]

Oh, stop it.

[A]

They didn't send me a bill for 1200. They hit my credit card for 12.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Well, they said I didn't. I kept the car two weeks. The place I turned it into. Didn't check it in.

[D]

Oh my God. Yeah, but are you gonna have to fight it or can you prove it?

[A]

I mean, I can prove it.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I think I prove it.

[B]

800.

[A]

800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800800 radio. 05 Chevy LT. Two wheel drive diesel with 125 on it. Trace. Crew cab or extended?

[E]

Extended long wheelbase.

[A]

Okay, but it's two wheel drive. 8, 9, 10. 8, 8, 8, 8. It's not a crew cab. 8, 9, 8, 9. 8 to 9, maybe 10. Yep.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

It's not a four wheel drive and it's not a. It's not a four wheel Drive and it's not a crew cab.

[E]

No, no. It's a pop off truck. Ready to pull the trailer. Yep.

[A]

So go to givemethevin.com and load it up. You know what I'm thinking? I mean I can verify that when I see the pictures. Pull the VIN and we'll send you an email you an actual offer letter. So then we left the gay bar.

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

And we went to the 80s bar.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And you? I started drinking since I. That. That's like an ecstasy environment. Yep.

[D]

I got you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I did Red Bull and vodka.

[D]

Perfect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And put a neon necklace around my neck.

[C]

We knew it was a special place soon as we got there. Before we even went in.

[A]

I liked it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And there were just a few of us standing outside. There was a parade.

[D]

A parade?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

A succession.

[D]

I'm not kidding.

[C]

Of little people. There's not riding ostriches.

[D]

Now you're making it up. No, you're making this up.

[C]

There were six of them.

[D]

Tell the truth.

[C]

You know what ostrich looks like?

[A]

Like, like, like. Look like Those things that they wrote in Star Wars.

[C]

Their heads are up high like this.

[D]

J. I know what an ostrich is. I got it. But what were you making this up? There were no ostriches.

[C]

Perfectly, perfectly perpendicular.

[D]

All right. I wasn't there.

[A]

You know what?

[C]

They weren't. You know what the. You know what the good adjective is?

[E]

What?

[C]

Regal.

[D]

Regal.

[C]

They were regal.

[D]

Regal.

[C]

They were so fun. I got you with their heads. They were strutting.

[E]

Strut.

[D]

You know how Friday night people spurred. Now we're. Stop. There were men, Christmas hats on, ostriches.

[A]

Riding down Main Street.

[D]

You were making it up.

[A]

I saw it.

[C]

You swear the Fort Worth elf parade. These ostrich.

[D]

You swear.

[C]

They're so proud.

[D]

I don't believe you.

[C]

They're walking. Except. Except one of them, the third one back, had, like some sort of head cold or something.

[E]

All right.

[D]

All right, now.

[C]

And they're all working. They're all walking so perfectly.

[D]

But once in a while, once in.

[C]

A while, this one, the third one back would be like.

[D]

I don't care if it's real anymore.

[B]

No, I missed it. I came out and he was telling me the story. He's like, you've got to be kidding me.

[A]

He's like, no, you believe. Georgia. Georgia. Hang on. Hold it, hold it. 02 vet Z06 was 60. O2. Z06. 60. Mid teens. Mid teens. Like 14. E there, George.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm sorry about 14. I need to see it. I mean, I gave 20 grand for a 20,000 mile one. 0405 04. And I gave 12 grand for 80,000 mile O2. You got a 60,000 mile one? Yeah, it's like 13, maybe 14. All right, go to give me. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up.

[C]

So ostriches and the other ones are looking back at the ostrich with a headcoat. They're like, come on, man.

[D]

Come on.

[C]

Come on.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Making us look bad.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, that's the one. Making them look bad.

[A]

And I.

[C]

All I could think is, I wonder if, you know, when they get done.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

When they get around the block.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

I wonder if that gets off that ostrich and beats it.

[A]

But what happened. But what was weird and it was unfortunate because, you know, I'm a recovered para.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And I stumble sometimes. So when I've been drinking, it doesn't help my walking. And I tripped on the damn bricks in downtown and I fell into one of those ostrich. He. He didn't throw the midget off, but he did get spooky like a horse in a parade.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They're proud animals like you know. But how would you punish an ostrich? You can choke a chicken.

[D]

You don't.

[E]

You don't.

[D]

You don't punish an ostrich.

[C]

But you can't choke it off.

[D]

No, you don't choke an ostrich.

[A]

What do you call that thing that Luke Skywalker was writing in the beginning of Returning the Jedi and the snow deal. He fell off and he cut him open to stay warm.

[C]

That would be the Empire Strikes Back.

[A]

Whatever.

[C]

It's a tauntaun.

[A]

Well, these were. These look like a tauntaun deal with. With elves.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Really happened.

[C]

They're very.

[D]

I don't believe you. You're telling me.

[A]

How could it not?

[B]

How do you make that.

[D]

How could it happen?

[C]

The ostriches all had high type Marine Corps haircuts.

[D]

Midgets on ostriches really occurred.

[A]

Don't say the word.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Little people said. I didn't say. Bobo said.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Little people.

[D]

I heard it somewhere.

[B]

It was the elf parade.

[C]

And Every and every 17 steps they would stop and the. The one in front would say the plane.

[D]

No, I'm the ghost. And you wonder why I don't believe you.

[A]

Diane, is this Porsche A 911?

[E]

I'm not sure if it. What it is. It might be a.

[A]

What is it?

[E]

I know.

[A]

Have you ever seen midgets on ostriches?

[E]

I didn't look at it before I left so mama would work.

[C]

Could be a Pontiac Sunbird for all.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Is it a Porsche? I don't know.

[E]

Yes, it is. It's a force.

[D]

Oh, it is.

[C]

Is a port. Now it's a PO. Now you're sure?

[E]

914. Or it's a 9 something.

[A]

If it's a 911 then I'll buy it. If it's a 9. Anything else? I'm probably not. Where are you calling from?

[E]

Weatherford, Texas.

[A]

All right, go to givemethe vin.com, put the VIN number and send me some pictures of this thing. When's the last time you started?

[E]

Was running and we drove it from Benbrook to Weatherford two years ago and it. It's been sitting.

[A]

What did you pay for it when you bought it?

[E]

It ran great. I didn't pay anything for it. My son in law dropped it off and went to jail. And it's. I've been storing this thing in my. At my yard for years and I.

[A]

Want to get out did you see. Did the. Did the midgets on the ostriches parade in Weatherford? Have you seen them?

[E]

No, I have not.

[A]

If they were they, this car would be driving. When they got off the ostriches, they'd all get. Getting this pile of crap porch.

[C]

Yeah, the pace car.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, the pace car.

[C]

Would you trade for it? Would you take a couple of ostriches for it?

[A]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[B]

So it was a wild Christmas party.

[A]

Limbaugh is here. Oh, boy.

[B]

He's in a good mood.

[A]

And he's in very good mood.

[D]

He just resigned with Cumulus for another five years.

[A]

We need a Rush music bunch of money. Rush.

[C]

I. I've actually hired the ostrich parade.

[D]

You did not.

[C]

For my own celebration for the contract with. With Cumulus. Cumulus. I worked for Cumulus for many years.

[D]

Cumulus.

[C]

Yes, that's what I'm saying, J.D.

[D]

All right, all right.

[C]

Geez. Everything's got to be some kind of argument of semantics.

[D]

No, it's not.

[A]

It's just when you get things right.

[D]

You work for them and they've given you a boatload of cash.

[A]

But look.

[C]

Yes, I think someone's ready for a meeting.

[D]

Believe me, after this show today, I'm going straight to a.

[C]

These midgets, they've got Rush.

[D]

You can't say that.

[C]

High talent.

[D]

No, you can't.

[C]

High talent.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm a person who works in the arts, sort of. But these little guys. Yeah, they've got dedication.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And they really love these birds.

[D]

Yeah, apparently. I guess.

[C]

Riding high Regal through the streets of midtown on a damn ostrich. It almost makes me wonder if I haven't taken too many Percocets in the morning.

[D]

You have a history of the pills.

[C]

But look, it's the. It's the new age of the Percocet.

[A]

Rush. Could you loan me or what would you sell me a perky for? Because I got a little touch of the hangover flu this morning.

[C]

Why don't I pay $7 with that?

[D]

Straight.

[C]

Between, you know? What's that? Between friends like us.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I could give you a couple today, you slide them back later.

[A]

Okay. Will it help me with my bad feeling? I feel like I have no oxygen in my blood.

[C]

I hope they work for you. They're very good for me. I buy them from a homeless person.

[D]

No, you don't.

[C]

They're on the block. He's got lots of personal circus at.

[B]

No, he's.

[C]

I don't know where he gets him rush.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

I assume he's got some sort of indigent health care. Well, those days are almost gone. There'll be no insurance for anyone.

[D]

No, that's not true either.

[C]

Except for midgets.

[D]

Why are you saying that?

[C]

And ostriches.

[A]

Why are you saying this?

[C]

Back with more of the John Clay Wolf show after this.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Playwolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Go to givemetheven.com and you will realize that we are that good. I've been doing this 22 years. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars, about a thousand a month. I make about 300 bucks a car and that's what we do. In and out, very fast, quick and easy. We lose money, we make money, we run an average and that's how we do it. I can be your dealer friend in the business. Check me out. Givemetheven.com sell us your car.

[C]

Give me the bin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Mark, stay on. I'm going to take you to air in a minute. And Jeff and Mercedes.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show.

[A]

800. 800 radio. So Romo, Jerry said Romo's gonna be.

[B]

Back at some point. He said he thinks he's gonna be a part of the team at some point here.

[D]

Part of the team does not mean back.

[A]

We'll get down to that in a minute. Mark. 16 dodger. Is it, is it Cummins?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Mega Cab or Crew cab?

[E]

It's crew. What color is the, it's, I don't know what it's called. It's not white, it's not the pure white. It's a new white for 16.

[A]

Okay, so we've got a 16 ram, crew cab, leather, sunroof. Is it a, does it have a sunroof?

[E]

Yeah, it's got sun. It's basically, it's, it, it's a Laramie, it's got sunroof, it's got a heated seat, pools, all that. I, I, I think it has the upgrade, the navigation ability, I'm not sure.

[A]

But it does have a sunroof and it's a Laramie and it's got 7,000 miles and it's a four wheel drive.

[E]

It's four wheel drive, yeah.

[A]

Okay, I'll buy it. Do you have a title or is there a payoff?

[E]

There's a payoff okay.

[A]

What are you going to replace it with?

[E]

Well, actually, it's kind of of funny. We, we sold Terry over there, you know, your guy Terry. My wife's Honda Element. And she ended up taking this truck from me. And I went and bought brand new 16, like, you know, just, uh, uh, work truck, uh, Ram. And we were. I remember.

[A]

Didn't we talk to you about this truck back then?

[E]

No, not, not in here. I talked to Terry. I talked to Terry.

[A]

No, no, I mean, because they, they bring them to me. I. Now I'm remembering this deal. Where were we at on it? On your truck?

[E]

Yeah. Well, I think you're probably remembering the.

[A]

Actually, the.

[E]

I had a Dodge once on Dually that you talked to me about.

[A]

That's right. And you, you were going to Weatherford to get a new one, and so this is the new one.

[E]

Yeah. I mean it was so close on that one too. Darn. That I ended up taking the tax and trading it.

[A]

Okay, well, this truck's worth, you know, 45 upper 40s. I got a fair. I gotta go to break right now. Just load it back up in the system and we'll get to it. 800-800-Radio. Go to givemetheven.com. name's John Clay Wolf. Be right back.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Don'T bring me down. At givemetheven.com we buy a TH000 cars a month and we make about 300 bucks a car. That's a tight margin, but we know what we're doing. That's why I say if I can't beat your carmax offer, I'll gladly give you $100. I can't beat them all, but I beat them most of the time. Givemethe vin.com we pick up. We're all online. We're the fastest car deal you've ever seen. Give us a shot. Let us impress you. Givemethevin.com sell us your car.

[C]

Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[E]

It.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show column toll free. 1-800-800-RODIO or log on to GoWolf.com this is the John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

This is kind of an Oompa Loompa beat. It reminds me of the midgets on the.

[C]

That's what they were playing. That's what they were playing. The guy in back had boom box on his oxygen.

[D]

I don't really. This is getting less believable.

[C]

They were bobbing their heads.

[A]

It was real. 800-800-7234. V, V, V V. 201 area code. Where are you calling from?

[E]

I'm calling from Katy, Texas. I'm in. I'm in transit.

[A]

I got you. It's an older power stroke, but it has low miles on it. 65, correct?

[E]

Yep.

[A]

And it's a four wheel drive. Is it a dually?

[E]

Yep, yep.

[A]

2000 diesel. Have you had it all? Did you. Did you buy it new?

[E]

Yep.

[A]

17 years old. Does $10,000. Does $10,000 buy it?

[E]

You're pretty close to it because I.

[A]

Darling, darling, darling, darling, darling. I've been doing this for 20 years. I'm gonna always be pretty close.

[E]

Close.

[A]

So does 10. Does 10 grand. Does 10 grand get her bought?

[E]

10. 10 grand gets a bite.

[A]

Okay, 10 grand. What. What you say gets a. Gets a. Okay, go to. I'm gonna. I'm gonna put you on hold. He'll. He'll make sure we. Clayton, grab grab V on 6. 800 817. 2 3, 4. A 2010 Buickle across the 59. Is it leather and roof? Jules.

[E]

It is a basic 12.

[A]

Okay. No sunroof?

[E]

No, no, sir. No sunroof.

[A]

Where are you calling from? With that accent, you sound like you're east Texas.

[E]

I'm. Well, I'm calling from the Galleria in Houston, Texas. Galleria mall area. I live right here by the mall. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Jewels. Were you in Pulp Fiction? Anyway, seven. You know, five, six, seven grand right around there. I need to see pictures of it. Make sure it's nice. 06 Honda Civic. Is it leather? Cloth, Matt.

[E]

It's cloth.

[A]

Automatic or stick?

[E]

Automatic.

[A]

So it's no sunroof or.

[E]

Yes, no sunroof.

[A]

Does four grand buy it?

[E]

I was hoping for a little bit more. I looking to trade it in. Cover a lot of my cost for a jeep wrangler.

[A]

Okay, go to givemetheven.com and load it up. I can get you with a jeep guy and I'll bid your car. Give me one more real quick. 06.200 000 mile Ram. Does it have a four wheel drive? No. Average. Rough or clean?

[E]

It's very clean inside and out.

[A]

The four wheel drives bring big goofy money. The two wheel drives don't.

[E]

Flatbed. It's not a regular bed. It's a flatbed.

[A]

I think it's is a crew cab or regular cab.

[E]

It's the four door.

[A]

I think it's five to six grand.

[E]

Yeah, we're nowhere near close.

[A]

Yep, you're nowhere near close either.

[C]

Such a fine sight to see. It's a girl. My Lord.

[D]

In a flat.

[C]

Flatbed Ford. That fellow with the Civic.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He wants to trade it for a jeep.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I hope he drives that thing right. People with jeeps. This is an observation I had driving into town in rush hour traffic yesterday. People in jeeps cannot drive any of them. I don't care if you're Comanche speaking.

[A]

Speaking of people in jeeps, Tony Romo's dad is here.

[D]

I gotta say this.

[A]

I got to talk to him.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

There he is.

[A]

Romano. Every Saturday, 10:20, right on time. Or whatever time it is.

[C]

Boom.

[D]

10:41.

[C]

Buos dios.

[A]

Buenos Dios. Did you bring me my.

[D]

It's funny, he sounds.

[A]

Did you bring me my breakfast burrito?

[C]

Jason, I. I have your burrito.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Good leg. The potatoes.

[A]

You could have just thrown it to me.

[C]

And the wave of some cheese.

[A]

I got huevos.

[C]

It looked very nice.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It was made by Middle Eastern man from the 7 11.

[D]

Easy now.

[C]

He make us nice.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

The hot sauce.

[A]

What happened?

[D]

Yeah, what happened?

[C]

It's actually a mango salsa.

[A]

In the game against the Giants last Sunday night when we got beat.

[C]

I will tell you what happened. Did you not see?

[A]

I. I saw. But I want to hear what really happened from Tony Romo's father.

[C]

It is beginning to be like the second administration of the Obama presidential. Okay. You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How does that after 11 wins come to find out? Doc. Little, little baby pants Dash Prescott baby pants pants. He sus.

[A]

He doesn't suck.

[D]

He doesn't.

[C]

Yes. He.

[D]

We. We almost won the game and we got 11 in a row.

[C]

He have nightmares all week long about Pierre Paul. Jean Pierre Paul with the two finger firecracker.

[E]

Man.

[D]

You're making it up because you want.

[C]

Tony back in J. Antonio, what did.

[A]

Jerry mean when he said Tony's still in the mix and we're going to to play him this year?

[C]

Would you not believe what he says?

[D]

Jerry.

[C]

Jerry says, you know, this may be nice time to have a Tony Roma for backup on quarterback.

[D]

I don't know that he said that.

[C]

Now that now that his chlamydia he God have gone into remission.

[D]

Jerry did not say this.

[C]

He can't see. And he is not so much with the itchy scratchy anymore.

[E]

This.

[D]

It never happened.

[A]

I watched the news conference shoot.

[B]

Yeah, I don't ever hear that either.

[C]

No.

[D]

That what I think made the video.

[A]

Has gone into Remission and he can now see.

[C]

You know, it does, it does affect the eyesight. Anton having a glass eye on the left side. It's special prone which is why he complications from his insistent chlamydia infection.

[D]

Yeah, we do.

[A]

Mr. Romero, it's always good to see you. We'll be back in a momentum part for four. Would you like to take us out? Big Tony Romo's dad.

[C]

Don't go any place because we have more John Clay Wolf to come your way. And please be careful with your children. You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Get back, honky cat better get back to the woods But I quit those days and my redneck waves People say it's too good to be true how do you buy cars from a website like give me the vent without looking at it? Well, I've been doing this 20 years. I know what I'm doing. I'm the largest wholesaler in all of Texas. Givemethevin.com. if we don't beat your CarMax offer, we'll pay you a hundred dollars. How about that?

[C]

Tell us your car. Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underw.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show column, toll free, 1-800-800 radio or log on to GoWolf.com. this is the John Clay Wolf show.

[A]

To tell you the truth.

[D]

Tell me the truth.

[A]

I feel pretty damn good.

[D]

Do you really?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I figured I'd be hitting a wall about now.

[D]

Totally get it. No, you'll hit the wall later. But you're, you're, you're on that adrenaline alcohol moment. It's a great time though. You get a lot done if you're at home. This is the time you get so much done. And then later you wake up and you go, who the hell cleaned the house?

[A]

We've got. We're going to Star wars at 4:00'.

[E]

Clock.

[D]

I heard really good things about it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's a.

[B]

It's more for the dorks or super fans.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz it's a side story.

[D]

It's got. Oh, so you got to know something about Star wars to enjoy it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, okay. Is Michael, Is this Ram diesel? Is it four wheel drive or two?

[E]

It's four wheel drive.

[A]

Good. Is it dually or single wheel?

[E]

It's single wheel.

[A]

Long or short bed?

[E]

Long bed.

[A]

Stick or automatic?

[E]

Automatic.

[A]

06 Dodge Diesel four wheel drive with basically 200,000 miles on it. Average. Rougher, clean.

[E]

I want to say it's rough. Closer to rough.

[A]

Six to eight then. I don't know. I need to see. Yeah, I need to see it. I mean this truck's worth the range. The truth. Between six and 13 grand.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

But I need to see it. So it just all depends. So go to givemetheven.com and load it up. Jason 0600. Four wheel drive with 150 cloth. If it's nice, I'd give four grand for it. Maybe five.

[E]

Four grand?

[A]

Four to five. Yep.

[E]

Okay, thank you.

[A]

A 13F 250 Platinum Brent Power stroke.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Sunroof navigation.

[E]

Oh yeah, it's an accent. It's a flat magician. And it has all the bells.

[A]

No sunroof. Yes or no on sunroof? A lot of them don't.

[E]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Okay. So what color is it?

[E]

Silver.

[A]

We got a silver 13,000 mile power stroke, platinum crew cab roof. Nav. Anything wrong with it?

[E]

No, not at all, man.

[A]

I'm thinking 37 grand. That's it.

[E]

With no extras.

[A]

I mean it's got 70 on it.

[E]

Yes sir, I understand it. I should have traded in back when I had 40, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got 70 on it, you know. Yeah. Did you say it does have. Is it lifted or anything?

[E]

Yeah, it has a Rancho 4 inch lid and has all the. An amp step, all the payload lights and then.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Now we're.

[E]

We're. We're going the payment queen.

[A]

We're going north.

[E]

Will.

[A]

40 grand. Buy it.

[E]

45.

[A]

Woof. Damn. Oh. Ow.

[E]

That's what I need. 45 to get in my new one.

[A]

That's all I need. I need this tree. Tree branch pulled out of my butt too. Oh. Oh. I can get you a new one. And roll are is your payoff. 45. Is that what. What's going on? No, you're just working me. You're just working me. You just got your elbow on my back. Yeah, he's kicking me.

[E]

I lay floors for a living, sir.

[A]

You lay floors? Hardwood. Hardwood or tile or what? Or all of them.

[E]

I lay it all, man. You fuzzy side up, you're like Turley.

[A]

You lay them all. All right, go to. Give me the vin.com. load it up. JD's lays them all too.

[D]

I don't.

[A]

Rusty. Randy. Randy. Randy.

[D]

Don't call him a squirrel.

[A]

He said don't call him a squirrel until you seen him ride. Hey, what's going on? Guys. Hey, Randy.

[D]

How are you doing?

[A]

Cold weather outside is fried.

[D]

Fried full.

[A]

But the fire showed enlightenment, so as long as you got nothing in your gut.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Let it nut. Let it nut.

[D]

Let it nut. Got it. All right. Makes sense.

[A]

Good morning. Randy the chipmunk.

[D]

Do you guys have a Christmas party? Randy. I mean, I just wanted it out there in the woods. You guys party?

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Christmas is all about chipmunks.

[D]

No, not really.

[A]

Well, in our culture it is.

[D]

Oh, and you're okay?

[A]

Yeah. Everybody gets a nut.

[D]

Gotcha.

[A]

I got you. Everybody gets a free nut at the Christmas party. Two times.

[D]

Sounds like a holly, jolly Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. Christmas day is one you gotta wait for. You're waiting and waiting and waiting and boom.

[D]

To what?

[A]

Nut.

[D]

Nut.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Really? Yeah. I can't think of nothing better to get for Christmas than a nut.

[D]

No, I would imagine that's a brandy.

[A]

I see your. Your friends over there. They're calling you and they need you back. They do? Yes. They've got cigarettes for you and alcohol. Oh, boy. Yep. And the guy in the wheelchairs out there in the parking lot. Oh, wheels. Yeah, wheels. And he's got your chipmunk, so you can go out there and play with. How do you get those cigarettes? I don't know. He sells them cheap.

[B]

I.

[A]

Well, they bought them from the guy at the gay bar. He's got pirates for $2 a pack. Oh, God. That's a. That makes a good Christmas.

[E]

It does.

[D]

Yeah, for us. For chipmunks.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You guys are easy to please after.

[A]

You get up Christmas morning and you have your nut.

[D]

Right? Yeah.

[A]

Have your nut, go outside and smoke a cigarette. I understand that's what being the dad is about. Okay, Bye, Randy. Okay, bye, Everybody. See ya. 8008-0072-3480-0800.

[B]

Man, we only got five minutes left.

[A]

On the he sounds big stations.

[D]

Right? Does Bouncing off the wall.

[A]

Dallas. I just had a listener email me and he says he's like. He just. It's weird. We're fixed to count come off of 945 in Houston. I'm fixing to flip over to 975 in Houston to catch hour number four. Very cool. Yeah, that's nice. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Guys, guys, we're going to lose you in. In five minutes. You can get the podcast of itunes and we also do an after show podcast for about 10, 15 minutes. Where we don't.

[D]

Where we're today will be amazing.

[A]

Where we're on what do you call it? Reserve.

[C]

There's a program director in Houston that just got that Clint Eastwood twitch.

[A]

He's asleep. He's his water bed. Left side. And you can also stream us off iheartradio John Clay Wolf show on itunes. Ah, there's so many people here to talk to about their cars. I'm. I don't feel like talking about cars right now. I'm gonna. Everybody on hold with a truck. There's a lot of diesel trucks. I like diesel trucks. More than you know. There's. It takes a long time to ask to bid these correctly because I have to ask you so many questions. So I'm not gonna bid any of these until about what time we come back? Four after.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Six hours. So about seven minutes. If you want to hold, hold. If you don't, just go to givemetheven.com and load them up and we'll email you an offer letter. Top 10 at 10. We had Tony Romo's dad. Yep. Wallace Edwards did not come in today. What was Wallace Edwards gonna do? We were talking about it when we were all drunk last night. Two in the morning at Oscar's Pub. That was a good.

[C]

About the old limousine.

[A]

What about the limousine back in the day?

[C]

Yeah, this was.

[E]

Was.

[C]

This was Floyd Parnell's personal vehicle.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

When you had last night.

[C]

Chris Chambers and I. Yeah. Of the old. The old Vandergrift Toyota.

[D]

I didn't know that's where he worked.

[C]

He passed away.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

That's sad. Not in the limo.

[D]

No. That's good.

[C]

So we took this car out on Christmas Eve.

[A]

This is.

[C]

This is Floyd Purnell's personal vehicle.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Rides it to work every day.

[D]

Real limo.

[C]

And it was beginner's night. It was. It was amateur night.

[D]

Oh, Lord.

[C]

At the old Roxy's Cabaret up on the North Loop.

[D]

Recipe for disaster. These are.

[C]

You've never seen a stripper until you've seen a brand new stripper.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

Really.

[C]

They have no idea what to do. They just stand there?

[A]

Well, they're nervous.

[C]

You get an eye full and a half. I bet.

[D]

I bet.

[C]

So Chris and I thought we'd. We'd get up there and his car is in service. And of course, I didn't own one. Right. I'm a bit of a lefty.

[D]

I got you.

[A]

I know.

[C]

My. My Prius was with my wife.

[D]

You have a problem.

[C]

So we took. We took Floyd's limousine up to Roxy's Cabaret.

[D]

Right. That makes sense.

[C]

We're getting out of the car and I'm locking the doors. And Chris says, no, leave it unlocked. I said, what's going on? He said, this is a great way to collect female. Just leave the limo unlocked and they climb in. Of course, we've got a full stock bar.

[A]

Well, yeah, the.

[C]

The TV at the time. This was in 1985. Okay. It's playing electric blue. Okay. By a satellite.

[D]

The porn channel. Okay.

[C]

We came back, there were 40 girls in the car of every shape and form.

[D]

I bet.

[C]

Not. Not amateurs.

[E]

Really.

[C]

We didn't get back until February 2nd.

[A]

Where'd you go? Do I dare ask?

[D]

Shreveal shrimp. Well, you have to. Well, yeah.

[C]

Gotta play those ponies. Yeah, and a little blackjack too.

[D]

Oh, my Lord. Okay.

[C]

And that's not a slur. It's the name of a game I know.

[D]

We've all played.

[A]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Thank you, Wallace. We got one minute left before we're out. Split those tens. Split those ten, Joseph. A 12 Scion XP with 110 on. It's worth four grand.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Four grand. Go to givemetheven.com. 16 Land Rover LR4 with a thousand miles. Oh, we got. We really gotta go.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Eric, what do you want for this thing?

[E]

64.

[A]

It's a LR4. It's not a. It's not a. It's not a big dog.

[E]

It's loaded though.

[A]

I'm gonna put you on hold. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do it off air. Hand on. Just a second. My name is John Clay Wolf. We buy [e-mail]. remember our podcast is on itunes. John Clay Wolf show. It'll be up in about, I don't know, two o' clock today. And we do a after hours after unrestricted podcast also at the end of that. So we'll be buying cars all day. Give me the VIN dot com. Be back here next Saturday, 8 o', clock bright and early hour. Number four is coming up and we're going to illusion on some of these stations so you can stream us out by heart meat if you want to keep rolling. Let me look this thing up. Boss man. Sixteen Land Rover. Yeah. Can you pull the music down, Mike, and the caller up?

[E]

What?

[A]

Just say what did.

[E]

My mom bought the car. She, you know, and then she didn't like it.

[A]

So is it a Lux HSE or do you know?

[E]

No, it's a landmark.

[A]

Okay. The options are.

[E]

Are.

[A]

Are a four door regular, an HSE or a luxury HSE.

[E]

It's a luxury okay.

[A]

Luxury HSC. And this is why I need the. The VINs. Huh? I can't bid this one without a VIN. Go to givemetheven.com. push the VIN in and I'll. I'll email you back. I gotta yank the VIN to get this right.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Too much money here to guess at it.

[E]

Yeah. I love your show, dude. Listen to it every Saturday morning.

[A]

Thank you. We are. Did you hear us this morning when Baba wouldn't get up?

[E]

No, I. Well, I couldn't get up.

[A]

No, he. No. If you go to our. Our John Clay Wolf show page on Facebook, we videoed him. Little fat bastard got so drunk, passed out, and we went for an hour with it without him this morning. He wouldn't wake up. It was pretty funny. We had our Christmas party last night, literally.

[E]

Like, I. I dropped to Houston a while back, and I'd listen to just podcast after podcast down there and back.

[A]

I love it. Good, good, good, good, good. I wish we did weekdays. We really.

[E]

I'm not. You need to take over Russ Martin's job.

[A]

Do me. Do me a favor. Go to. Go to the Eagle page. The guy's name's Don Davis, actually. K. Kibler. K K I B L E R Kibler.

[E]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

And she's the big boss. And write her an email. Say that. Don't. It's not coming from me. It's coming from you. Get. Say something about, dude, Russ misses so much work. Why is. Why don't you use Wolf and the crew? Because that's. Yeah, I mean, we're sitting right here. You know, we could do it better. I know we do it better.

[E]

I would listen to it.

[A]

K. [e-mail]. she's the decision maker.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Thanks, man.

[E]

Bye. Bye. Sam.

[A]

Sa.

[E]

Ra. It.

[F]

Now back to the john clay wolf show. Call them toll free, 1-800-800-rodio or log on to gowolf.com. this is the john clay wolf show.

[A]

I woke up early Sunday morning Had myself a piece of tough. Sing it, Bob.

[D]

So funny concert.

[A]

He's singing about a whore in Madam Morris in the boys town. Gonna get me a divorce I'm gonna split with all my money See that girl who loves a horse older.

[D]

You ever seen him in concert? Johnny Robinson. Oh, he's a funny train wreck. He's hilarious.

[C]

Does he play that guitar?

[D]

He comes out with the cigarette drunk and just sings all these songs you don't like. You know, he lived them. He had to. It's perfect. Great, great show.

[C]

So he's Doing a great Gary Stewart.

[D]

Oh, yeah, kind of Gary Stewart.

[C]

You remember those days, man, that was something.

[D]

Except he's not faking it.

[C]

I mean, he's really Gary Stewart.

[D]

So I'm in Billy Bobby now.

[A]

He's singing about rich cowboys, half southern Texas. That's why they act the way they do when them boys meet me in Laredo. Cause ain't they all Laredo, too?

[D]

All right, let's get back to the show.

[A]

Yeah, I'm enjoying this. Okay, Mike. An 06F 354 wheel drive Lariat with a buck 20. Does it have any sick 6.0 liter diesel problems?

[E]

No. The only thing is they ever had was the high pressure fuel pump.

[A]

What about the. What's the thing that always goes out? I have to pay five grand to fix it.

[E]

High pressure fuel pumps. Five grand. And the EGR cooler.

[A]

Egr? God almighty. Those things. Did you delete it or do you still have one? Or did you have to get a new one?

[E]

No, it's still on there.

[A]

Somebody ought to get shot. Whoever designed that needs to get their ass kicked.

[E]

If you keep up with your coolants, it's not bad. And you watch everything.

[D]

Five grand.

[C]

The engine, gas recycler.

[A]

Yeah, it's really. Is that what that means?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that what that means?

[C]

Yeah. What a device.

[A]

Sounds like something Obama made.

[C]

Yeah, like Obama.

[A]

I don't blame it on Obama. What did he. Is it 06? When did he get in the seat? Oh, wait.

[D]

Actually, the Russians did it.

[C]

The Russian?

[D]

Yeah, Russian options. Tapped, though.

[A]

Hey, does 10 grand buy this thing?

[E]

No.

[A]

What buys?

[E]

I'm figuring at least 15 or better. It's got everything in it except for a moon. It's the whole area. Yeah, except for Moonroof.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Nav system and uploader switches. Yeah, but it's that only thing it doesn't have.

[A]

What it doesn't have is a good body style. It's too old and it's got a 6 liter and it's got 120. I'm not dissing your car, but you're. You're gonna need to run an ad and rent a. I just don't think I'll do it. I just. I just don't.

[E]

Okay. I mean, I was wanting to know how they're sought. How people are sought at.

[A]

I think it's 10 to 12 grand. You know, these diesel people. I mean, you can find anybody asking anything online. You can find a guy asking 33,000 for a 98 Dodge. I mean, they're so stupid. It's worse than the classic car, people. It really is. I mean, I got a 320, 000 mile coming. You know, it's just breaking in. 28, 000, dude, the truck's worth.

[E]

Yeah, I'm just looking at upgrading to a 450.

[A]

Yep.

[E]

I just want to know if the.

[A]

Fuel mileage on that's gonna go bow, gobble, gobble. You know that, right?

[E]

Yeah, this one actually does really good. I have a 42 and a half foot travel trailer, toy hauler. I pull with it and that's great.

[A]

Cool. I think it's 10, 11, 12. And I'll buy it. And if you want to sell it, go to givemetheven.com, load it up and give us some pictures.

[E]

All right. Thanks, sir.

[A]

Thank you. Elton John. Hey, Steve.

[E]

I'll call you.

[A]

Hey, Steve.

[D]

He's gonna call him.

[E]

Steve.

[A]

Where are you calling from?

[E]

Hold up. Hey, I'm over here from Eastern pa. This guy says you sound like you. You're from Texas.

[A]

I am from Texas. I am from Texas. Dallas, that's where we're in. We're coming down from Westwood One satellite. We're testing that ZZO market up there because they're gonna put us on in D.C. and New York and Philly and Pittsburgh.

[E]

I lived in Philly for a while. I live in Tonio for a few years in san Antonio.

[A]

This 97 Chevy Lumina is worth zero.

[B]

I think he just wanted to talk to somebody from Texas. That's what it is.

[E]

Yeah, it's worth better than zero.

[A]

I mean. Yeah, it's just. It's just. It's in a 97 Lumina. I mean, it's a TR. It's a trash can. It's nothing.

[E]

Somebody gotta drive it.

[A]

Somebody's got to drive it. But it ain't gonna be me.

[D]

Craigslist.

[C]

The all new 1997 Chevrolet Lumina.

[A]

It's a. Park it right next to your trash can and use it as a response receptacle.

[C]

Get you some.

[A]

It is a nut dumpster.

[C]

A nut dumpster.

[A]

800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio.

[F]

2017, it's time for the ride of the week.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[A]

2017 MDX. All Wheel Drive advance. Beautiful car. Actually.

[E]

Nice.

[A]

Ironically, we're driving. You know, I'm fixing to set.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Jennifer bought one. Our. My assistant bought at least a new actor this week.

[D]

Really?

[A]

And she bought this.

[D]

What is it?

[A]

It's like the same thing.

[D]

What car she.

[A]

You know, my. What my employees drive better car. Newer cars. Than I do. Well, cuz you're Megan does, Jennifer does. You and Connie are always driving new stuff and I'm driving.

[D]

You drive what you want though. Come on. Yeah, what, what car is this accurate?

[A]

What's is a 2017 MDX? MDX. $59,000. She leased this thing for like 480, didn't she?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, under 500 bucks Was her.

[D]

Sticker prices been for what, 10 years?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Oh yeah, they had a lot down they put from selling their car and some money too.

[A]

So. Okay, well anyway, the review is she liked it so much she went and bought one.

[D]

So there you go.

[A]

That tells you something. Good job Honda. Good job actor. My name's John Dunkley Wolf. And that part of the show is over.

[E]

God.

[C]

The ride of the week.

[D]

The night after the Christmas party. I mean, no former.

[A]

The. What kind of better review can you do? The car shows up. The lady liked it so much she bought. All right. I mean, I can't top that. Well, I keep trying. Good morning, you're on the air. Who the hell is this?

[E]

This Wade? Very Wade. Wade.

[A]

What you got?

[E]

2014 Jeep Wrangler. Full door, four wheel drive, right hand steer.

[A]

Oh no.

[E]

81K.

[A]

Are you a postman?

[E]

Right hand? Yep.

[A]

Huh. Is it two? Oh, it's four. It's 14. 81, 000. Okay. I had one member, Turley, and I lost like two dimes on it.

[D]

Are they legal, right?

[A]

Yeah, I. I mean I can't make money with them. Nothing. Yeah. So does it have the cheap wheels or the good wheels? I'll give nine grand for it. I sold that other one for eight grand.

[C]

Good thing about it, right now this.

[A]

Is a 14, not a 12. Where are you located, Wade?

[E]

Frederick.

[A]

I'll give 8,500 for it. And you know, you ought to try to sell it someone that needs it. Because if you find something that needs, they'll pay for it. I just can't ever find anybody that wants damn things. All right, I'll give 8,500. Were you playing Journey? No, Brian. An 07 and a half GMC diesel. 82,000 miles is a four wheel drive or two?

[E]

That's two.

[A]

I'm thinking. Well, well, hell. Is it leather cloth?

[E]

It's leather.

[A]

Does it have a sunroof?

[E]

No.

[A]

SLT or SLE?

[E]

35 on 20s.

[A]

What you say.

[E]

It'S got a six inch lift already on it. And 35s on 20 on a two wheel drive.

[A]

Diesel?

[E]

Yep.

[A]

You know, I don't know.

[C]

I. I mean, has any whiskey Ever been drunk in the vehicle?

[E]

Maybe.

[A]

I. I'm surprised you did that to this truck.

[E]

It was already done when I bought it.

[A]

Okay. Cuz it. It's kind of stupid and I'm not making fun of you.

[E]

California.

[A]

Yeah, he's kind of homo. I mean the whole deal's weird. I mean you take a diesel. I mean a truck. Truck. Badass. Good mile Chevy diesel. And you lift it and it's a two wheel drive, right?

[C]

It's homogenized.

[A]

I mean what's the guy wear? 2 left shoes and orange laces. Dyes hair.

[E]

I don't know why they did that.

[A]

I don't either.

[C]

Like milk.

[A]

Yeah. The what?

[E]

What?

[A]

You're gonna want goofy money for it. I can already feel it. Yeah, I think it's probably worth 20 grand. I don't know. Wow. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not offering. I am not offering 20, but I think I will. Will that buy it?

[E]

Probably closer to 25.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

24.

[C]

25 for four wheel drive maybe.

[A]

Yeah, but it's got 80 on it. But it's an 07. It's 10 years old. Send me some pictures. Let's get it. Let's get a VIN number and some pictures. Let's look at an X ray before we start diagnosing.

[E]

Doctor.

[A]

Yeah, Doctor.

[E]

Doctor.

[A]

Doctor. Yeah, let's look at the X ray. Go ahead and take your. Take your pants down and turn your head to the left and call for me.

[E]

Easy killer.

[A]

800-800-7234.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

Just call for me. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to turn it to the right.

[D]

Y time that little bit went weird.

[A]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio is the call in number. Abilene, Arkansas, New Orleans. Bata Huge. Baton Rouge, Lafayette, Houston, Beaumont.

[C]

Right hand steer Witch Tow Fung.

[E]

The.

[A]

Bear coming at you over the bear waves from the bear cave. With a deep voice. Can you do a Keith Vaughn impression impersonation? Can you do a Keith Vaughn impersonation.

[C]

In the bear cave?

[A]

That's it. That's Matthew McConaughey. I need Keith Fawn.

[C]

All right, all right.

[A]

You can't do it. If you can't do it, just say you can't do it. If you can't do it, do it.

[C]

That's my way of saying I can't do it.

[A]

Okay, well just a minute. I can't do it. Can you do a lindy par in person nation?

[C]

I tell you what, these boys coming down here, they got that jeep on the courthouse lawn. They picked up every girl in town.

[A]

That's what we were talking about last night.

[D]

Finally came back around.

[B]

We were the last bar that we're at.

[A]

You were telling me about Lindy being a lady slayer. That's right. Back in the day. And y' all would go to these bars. How did it go?

[D]

Who's Lindy?

[A]

That's right.

[B]

He would slay everything.

[C]

Right. Like this place, just this place. By example. That one, that one, that one. The. All nine of them. He would get them inside of 45 minutes. He gives them nine minutes each.

[A]

Come back with a big smile.

[C]

And that one, too. And start with that one.

[A]

Lindy is a friend of mine. And he used to be Bobbo's employer.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And only he's a fan of the show Gotcha. And he's. He works for Cumulus.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yep.

[E]

Now he's.

[D]

And he's a ladies player.

[A]

Well, not anymore. He's married. Happy. And back then. But back in the day, Baba was telling me stories about Lindy and how it was just amazing. Like, even better than you, J.D. because you tell good stories.

[D]

Some of them actually happen.

[A]

But Lindy said so Blindy was going around hustling his own. And he. He claims that you went around and bought quite a bit.

[C]

I don't know anything about that.

[D]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's probably what it seems like. Like, you know, Lindy's a small town guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So, you know, I mean, Lindy used to be just amazed at my lifestyle. Like, boy, you gonna die if you keep living like that. Well, how many girls you got on the floor in there that don't look right? And I just. No, I didn't pay anybody anything, Lindy. That's just what I do. This is how I roll.

[E]

Well.

[C]

Oh, it look like hookers. Come on, come on.

[A]

Now you tell me, Bobo. You know, tell your Uncle Lindy. Then there look like hookers.

[C]

Hey, I'm your friend. I'm not gonna tell nobody. Where'd you find him? Hookers? Not hookers, man. I met him at church.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. All right. Speaking of people that got drunk and got in trouble, did you hear this week, former Atlanta Falcons running back Jamal Anderson got into a little trouble at a quick trip, and it wasn't over a drink. He went into a quick trip store, a gas station, slurring his words, paid the cashier, allegedly started walking around the store, eventually came back to the counter and decided to do whip it out right there in front of everybody. Somehow he didn't get arrested. He was intoxicated, clearly in the store. The clerk didn't even press charges. Maybe it was. Maybe they enjoyed it. But he got off anyway, if you.

[C]

Know what I mean. What else?

[D]

What? Say again?

[A]

Excuse me while I whoop this out.

[D]

His business, his man business.

[A]

Why did he do that?

[D]

Because he was drunk and stupid. He didn't say why he did it.

[B]

You have to be.

[A]

I. I mean, were they stretching chains for down marker and he wanted just a little ball extension, by the way, once he got.

[D]

Once he got the business in the air, he decided to use it himself.

[C]

Well, that's. I mean, but that's. It depends on where you.

[A]

Gorilla cage at the zoo.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

In New Orleans, did they throw poop at the windows too?

[D]

Didn't do that. It was quick trip. You don't do that.

[E]

Of course.

[D]

Right.

[C]

In New Orleans, that is the standard parlance. I mean. Yeah, that's just something you do.

[D]

A quick trip. Every quick trip. That's how you check out after 11pm I didn't know.

[C]

That's just like you wave at somebody while you're driving.

[D]

Didn't know.

[A]

Have you ever Yahoo Beer, Bob? Huh? Have you ever yahooed beer?

[C]

I don't know what that means.

[A]

It's still one after hours.

[C]

Still a beer.

[A]

Yahoo means they close the.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

You know, 2 o' clock or 12 o'.

[E]

Clock.

[A]

You can't buy packaged beer anymore when you're in high school.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

And. And you grab it and run like hell and scream Yahoo. On the way out the door.

[C]

Oh, no. I've never stolen beer from a retail outlet.

[A]

I done it, but I left the money there.

[B]

Oh, that's you.

[A]

So I didn't steal it, but I. I broke the. This was a while back. This is back in hospital school, right? Yeah.

[C]

So the statutes up on this.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[C]

Concert venues like the old Starplex in Dallas.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know if you guys have ever noticed, but when you're walking out of there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The beer tenders are nowhere near their beers and sometimes their whole kiosks full of.

[D]

Full of beer.

[A]

Of ice down $32 a bottle earlier in the. In the day. Yeah.

[C]

And I feel like I spent 60 bucks in here for four beers.

[A]

Do you ever just grab one on the way out?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's what pockets are for.

[A]

Do you feel bad about it?

[C]

Do I feel bad about it?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

No. I just saw Joe Walsh rock his ass off, man. You know, one more beer. I asked myself, what would Joe Walsh do?

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what he wouldn't do. I know I was with Bob. I was with Bobbo this night.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And he stood up. Is the end of the deal. Everybody around us was smoking Kind Bud. We were on the front row, right, of a classic rock. Bad Company. Joe Walsh, all these guys that paid 300 a seat, had 300 dope.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

And it smelled good.

[C]

Good.

[A]

And Bobbo took him a pull right there at the end, really very last end of the Bad Companies doing Bad Company Encore. And I said, bobbo, I'm going to get out of here before the crowd.

[D]

Hits or gets bad.

[A]

And he's like, okay, Wolf's gone. He got the puff, puff, pass from the guy behind him. And he took a big old pull and held it in. Passed out, fell down, hit his head on the concrete and the chair. And they had. I saw him wheel by me in a wheelchair and broken glasses and a bleeding head.

[D]

That's not. You're only gone, what, three minutes and you see him in a wheelchair?

[B]

Yep.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So. So that night, did you grab a beer on your way out?

[C]

No, they were all gone.

[D]

Yeah. By then they were gone. He was. He was held.

[A]

So when you were in the infirmary and your daughter came up there because she was at this show, too, tell her, hey, baby. The weed was so good and I was so drunk, I held it too long. And that's why I'm in here.

[C]

They went to the car. They had no idea where I was.

[A]

Mark, I don't know what a 69 Ford GT Torino is. I'm not a really classic car buyer. I can't buy classic.

[C]

I gotta be Worth, too.

[A]

Where do you live?

[E]

I. I live in Wichita Falls, Texas.

[A]

Send me a picture. And I mean, what will you really take for it?

[E]

Well, the car.

[A]

I don't care about the story. What will you really take for it?

[E]

I take 80 grand for it.

[A]

Okay, bye. 80 grand. I love you and thanks for listening, but, I mean, we're not. We're just. Come on, guys. This is why I don't. J80 I saw on Barrett Jackson, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

You ain't barely take it to Barrett Jackson.

[A]

Take it to Barrett Jackson. We'll be right back. That's why they call me.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Go to givemetheven.com and you will realize that we are that good. I've been doing this 22 years. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy Cars, about a thousand a month. I make about 300 bucks a car. And that's what we do. In and out, very fast, quick and easy. We lose money, we make money, we run an average and that's how we do it. I can be your dealer friend in the business. Check me out. Givemetheven.com seller your car.

[E]

It's. Damn.

[F]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call them toll free, 1-800-800 radio or log on to GoWolf.com this is the John Clay Wolf show.

[B]

Do I need to play more country?

[A]

I forgot right now this is country. Yeah. Good morning everyone. There's 30 minutes left. We haven't done much sports talk, man.

[B]

There's a lot to talk about.

[A]

Holy cow. Catch me up, boss.

[B]

Well, the whole Dak and. And Jerry with Romo bringing it back up now. Did you see what Jerry said that. That he thinks that Romo's gonna have a part of something, you know, big part to the season. Right?

[D]

Big part.

[A]

Oh, big part.

[B]

And so Troy Aikman said that was just. He was dumbfounded that Jerry would even say anything like that. So then Jerry, he has to say something. So he.

[A]

Of course he does.

[D]

Last word, Jerry.

[B]

He said that. Well, Aikman might have a little bit of a sensitivity issue, but Dak doesn't. Dax is. He's not sensitive at all.

[C]

All troll has always been a little sensitive.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So that was just quite a shocking statement there by Jared. Just a big hard throw Aikman under the bus like that. Now of course, if you really know and understand Jerry speak. He's just a carnival barker. He's just stirring things up is any way he can.

[D]

Any way he can to keep attention on the team and.

[B]

And I think Aikman understands that too. He likes his name out there still.

[C]

Little troll is a soft spoken young man. He. When he's a boy, he had a dog, a little healer dog when he died. Ever since troll has been just a little bit since Bobo.

[A]

Do you smell funny?

[C]

Do I?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, I use like my nostrils to do it.

[D]

I think everything's after last night. I'm sure he does reeks.

[A]

Do you have like that?

[D]

He doesn't smell it?

[A]

You don't smell it?

[C]

No, I don't.

[A]

I kind of smell funny.

[C]

I do not believe so.

[A]

I smell like stench.

[B]

I have booze pouring out my pores right now.

[D]

I remember those days.

[C]

God, that's crazy. How.

[A]

Why did. Did y' all keep drinking after? Yeah. Really?

[B]

I had a scotch.

[A]

2:30. Wasn't enough, apparently.

[C]

We're still going.

[A]

What is that? Is that scotch?

[B]

Scotch too, still there.

[D]

We had.

[B]

We had one each and then this last one we just couldn't finish, I.

[C]

Guess the Glenn footage.

[A]

So you. You ate a gummy bear full of THC2.

[C]

What? What?

[D]

Really?

[C]

And Charlie, what was in that deal, man?

[B]

I thought Bobble could hang, but it was about 3:30 when he was just chomping on burgers. Charlie, you just keep going, man. You just don't stop.

[D]

Well, you didn't power alcohol as much as you did.

[A]

And you were getting shots at the last bar we were at. I didn't take any shots. I think y'. All. Y' all drank mine.

[C]

Well, yeah, they came and said last call.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And we're checking the glasses.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So that's right there. It's time to put up. Yeah.

[A]

So you started shooting those where the Jack Daniels.

[C]

Bam, bam, bam.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It's unnecessary, you know, that's just unnecessary. That's like streaking. You just don't need to do it.

[D]

No, Bobo, when you go, there's a chair right next to me. In the meeting later tonight when you.

[C]

Go to the tavern.

[D]

Six o'.

[E]

Clock.

[D]

Come with me.

[C]

The way Bubble does it, the drink.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like a man. Like a grown ass man.

[D]

Grown ass man.

[A]

Unlike J.D.

[D]

No, wait a minute.

[C]

Unlike L.E. baby Pants Duck Prescott.

[A]

Antonio.

[C]

Everyone make a big deal.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

When he pick up the trash.

[E]

He.

[C]

Throw it to the trash can. And because he is horrible quarterback.

[D]

No, he's not.

[C]

He does not make it into the trash can. So he goes and picks it back up and puts it up. And everybody says, oh, what a fine character.

[D]

Yeah, it is good character.

[C]

But you could not see the camera shot from the other side before he stick it in trash can.

[E]

Right?

[C]

He lick it first. Yeah. Jcd. Jcd. He get every bit of Gatorade off of the water cup.

[D]

How does that make him a bad guy?

[C]

Because he's from Louisiana.

[D]

Okay, what does that mean?

[C]

Well, it means that culturally speaking, he have a special relationship with the garbage.

[D]

Oh, with the garbage.

[A]

And now.

[D]

Now it's clear to me. I understand now completely. Everything's in focus.

[C]

That's not fun.

[D]

There's a lot more than you got going for you. Hey, Chicago, this is kind of fun. For Christmas Day, Chicago Strip club is offering a special treat for anyone who donates. An unwrapped toy. Kind of nice, right? Topless place called the Admiral Theater. Give the countdown in Albany park is showing people how to be both naughty and nice. Basically you bring in an unwrapped toy, you get a lap dance for free. It's called Lap Dances for the Needy.

[A]

I haven't been to a strip bar in a while. What about you, Bo?

[C]

I begged you guys to do that.

[A]

You did, you did.

[D]

Y' all gave me directions and I'm glad we didn't.

[A]

I'm glad we didn't. I'm really glad we did. I mean, it's expensive. What.

[D]

What do you get out of that? I never understood that.

[A]

I'm glad we didn't go.

[B]

It just have been a waste of money.

[A]

Yeah, total waste. Total waste.

[B]

Never understood better time. Just socializing and BSing and stuff like that.

[A]

How is the. The limo driver? Is he working today?

[B]

No, no, he's not making any runs.

[A]

Oh, he's not as tough as we are.

[B]

No, he was pretty tired.

[A]

Was he mad?

[B]

I don't know if he realized what was. He was going for, what he signed up for. Yeah. When I was searching for somebody, he's like, oh, I need something to do.

[A]

How are we paying that guy?

[B]

I just paid him straight up in my pocket.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There you go. Stand up, guy. Turley.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

How much is that limo? I don't know.

[B]

I can ask them. I asked him to buy it.

[A]

Do they. How long have they had it? Do you know?

[B]

He's had it for a little while, at least.

[A]

Years. It's always around. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it's always around.

[C]

A limo is the kind of thing gets to be a habit.

[B]

It's fun, man. I. I know it's ragged looking and.

[A]

All that, but I thought it's really not that bad. No exterior is bad. Well, the top is bad. That's all that's wrong with it. But I love the inside.

[B]

Yeah, it's really.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's classic.

[A]

The old phone and everything.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We got all drunk last night. We came up with the idea we need to have our Give me the VIN drivers.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Use that or something like that as the delivery van.

[E]

Right.

[D]

Why?

[B]

The gas mileage would be terrible. But.

[C]

But we show up in a wad of drivers, man. Like eight guys. Get out of the car.

[D]

Clown car.

[A]

Well, we do that now with vans. Yeah, but wouldn't it be cooler if there. If we have wrapped limos. Give me the van. And these homeless people got out of it to drive the cars back.

[C]

Wear a little bling.

[B]

Well, it's not. They're not homeless looking.

[A]

No, no. Those are some of the auction drivers. Yeah. Oh, those at the old Fort Worth Auto auction.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I will never forget going to the Fort Worth Auto auction. A guy asked me, why do the buyers at this auction look like the driver drivers at the other auction? Because they're kind of trashy, man. I mean, you ever been in a mobile home park? That's like, pay by the week. They're good folks too. They like to screw and drink. There's nothing wrong.

[D]

Nothing wrong with that.

[A]

But I mean, they're just not that, you know. A little bit trashy, Bobby, you know, some good old trashy people.

[C]

Yeah, but they're not. I mean, you know, they don't feel trashy like, I mean, they're no noble, like. Like an ostrich.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's funny, you said trashy. Baba turned to me, he goes, turley, how do you put up with us dumb rednecks? I was like, what do you mean.

[C]

How do you put up with us?

[B]

I don't see our hillbillies. It's like, I don't see you guys as hillbillies. I mean, I guess it's what you say. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I'm real self conscious about it, man, but that's my background, you know?

[A]

Have you had better luck with trashy women or like a little more sophisticated?

[C]

I tell you what, I think you.

[A]

Like your old trashy guys because you can bark them around and they'll do what you say.

[C]

No, no, I don't yell at them, but I mean, there's a lot less time invested. You know, back, back not too long ago when I was good looking dude, I was. I did pretty well with, with really all women.

[A]

But did you like the trash ones better?

[C]

They have a certain charm.

[A]

If you could take one home.

[E]

Have.

[A]

The trashy ones given you more problems?

[C]

No, they never really give me problems.

[A]

Can you bring up John Bonham just a touch?

[E]

Sure.

[C]

But I have a real failure to commit, so I don't really have any problems.

[A]

Do you notice them coming off the package quicker with the income lower.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Coming off the package? Yeah, yeah, I don't get that one.

[C]

But I got a totally different image when you said that.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Do you notice them coming off the business quicker when they're living in a trailer house?

[C]

What does that mean, coming off the business?

[A]

Shut up, Jenny.

[C]

No, no, I mean, it's possible. Anything.

[A]

Have you ever lived in a trailer park?

[E]

No.

[A]

You sure?

[C]

I'm pretty sure. There's a period from like 90.

[D]

You lived in Harold.

[A]

Didn't you live in a trailer park in Harold?

[C]

No, there's no Trailer park in Harold.

[A]

I mean I met you, you were living in a trailer park.

[C]

Just cuz you're living in a trailer though, doesn't mean it's a trailer park. That's a very nice side.

[A]

Did you remember that truck you had to borrow for a while cuz your old throw down car was out of it?

[C]

Spirit of 66.

[A]

Yeah, spirit of 66. And you were living in Harold and, and with that gal and you. You, you, you hate her?

[C]

My ex.

[A]

Do you, do you hate her?

[C]

I don't hate her.

[A]

Did you used to.

[C]

She's a great gal. I occasionally. I hated her.

[A]

Hey, get, get, get this.

[D]

Yeah. I was going to bring this up. John had some issues last night with that.

[A]

I didn't have issues. Let me. Can I talk? Can I talk? I don't need your color, Howard Cosel.

[C]

I didn't see any issues.

[A]

Well then K kiss my ass. So my, my. I don't know how I can say this. My ex wife.

[D]

That was pretty clear why you're your ex wife. Man, you're being secretive.

[A]

Yeah. So she sends an email to my wife. Then my wife emails my ex wife and says hey, nobody knows what the schedule is for our daughter. I have a daughter with my first one. Sure. And my ex wife writes back this sassy. And I never read her emails because she's so sassy all the time. It puts me in a bad mood. So I always wait a little bit. John has it all in our new divorce decree that he had us all redo and just blah blah blah blah. Plus I sent him an email yesterday which I'm sure he will not reply to.

[E]

To.

[A]

He sends back all of my mail. She sends me certified mail.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Boy.

[A]

Every time she mails me, sends me certified mail which is just a big fu. On the front of it. So I'm some. Whatever. I mean I'm not gonna.

[C]

Yeah. Don't open those.

[A]

He won't talk to me but he thinks it's okay to call my dad. I'm just like damn. Didn't we get divorced like 12 years ago?

[D]

Yeah, a long time ago.

[A]

I mean.

[D]

And she said this to your wife? Yeah. Not to you?

[E]

No.

[A]

It's just weird. It's just weird. What, what do you and your ex old lady Bob, I need some tips on how to deal with ex wives.

[D]

Oh my lord.

[C]

Flirt with who?

[A]

With them.

[C]

The xy? Yeah. Don't ever give it up. Don't get caught. Don't get caught doing this. But always make it like that. Give me two reasons Two reasons. One, you could score.

[A]

All right, I don't want to score.

[C]

Cuz, you know, she's a goer. Been there, done that much of a goer. And the second reason, it might repel her.

[A]

Repel her?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Like she's gonna call? Something about the kids or something.

[A]

Click that mic a little bit to you, buddy. A little? Yeah.

[C]

You know, little Joey's graduating next year. What do you think he'd like for Christmas? I don't know, baby. You know what I want for Christmas?

[D]

Jeez, I don't think this is gonna work.

[A]

I won't tell anybody if you don't say nothing. It and that. So that's how to get rid of her.

[C]

Just where the hell are you at anyway?

[B]

Oh, sounds like it just caused more problems.

[A]

No, I think it would work like a champ.

[C]

What a coincidence.

[B]

Would she tell your wife, though?

[A]

I tell my wife. I do it with my wife next to me.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz I'm headed that way.

[B]

Yeah, if you tell your wife, she's in on the bit, then, yeah, that's.

[A]

How you do it.

[C]

I'll tell you what Joey wants for Christmas if you tell me what you're wearing.

[A]

8008-172348-00800 radio. My name is John clay wolf and I buy cars right here on this radio station. Last segment of the day coming up.

[C]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

@Givemetheven.Com. we buy a thousand cars a month and we make about 300 bucks a car. That's a tight margin, but we know what we're doing. That's why I say if I can't beat your carmax offer, I'll gladly give you a hundred dollars. I can't beat them all, but I beat them most of the time. GiveMeTheEven.com we pick up. We're all online. We're the fastest car deal you've ever seen. Give us a shot. Let us improve, impress you. Givemethe vin.com.

[C]

Sell us your car. Give me the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[E]

Sam. Sa. Damn.

[F]

Now back to the John clay wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio.

[A]

This is kidding me.

[E]

What?

[B]

This is country, right?

[A]

This isn't country. This is just gay. What is this? This is indigo girls or whatever the four night. Why don't you play Closer I am defined. I mean, if we're really just gonna go. Granola Democrat. This is a good song. I mean, that's a good song by a couple lesbians that play guitar like Mad Men. This thing. I don't know what this is. If we're gonna listen to lesbian acoustics, I vote for the indigo girls.

[B]

See? JD even knows the song.

[A]

800-800-723-48008. Can we change it?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I appreciate it. Thank you. No problem. I got a request. What? What would you like to request? I'd like to request to change that song.

[B]

Let's play this again.

[A]

800-807-7234. What?

[C]

While we're on the subject, you know who my favorite lesbian singer is?

[E]

Who?

[C]

Lyall. Love it.

[D]

Oh, God.

[A]

Love.

[C]

L love. She's awesome.

[D]

She's not.

[A]

Santa. Secret Santa.

[B]

That's Bob.

[A]

Secret Santa list. This is what he's filled out his things he likes. Yeah. Baba.

[B]

So everybody in the office did a Secret Santa thing.

[A]

So you fill out the form of what you like.

[B]

By the way, John, thank you for. You were my Secret Santa.

[A]

What did I get you?

[D]

What did I get you?

[A]

Ashley.

[B]

Ashley went and got me a lot of different boozes.

[A]

It was great. Yeah. I love this, but never buy it for myself. This is Baba. Is it Answer rubbers.

[B]

It makes sense.

[A]

I can never resist adding another one of these to my collection. Answer. A soft machine. What's that? What's that?

[C]

Did I write that?

[A]

Apparently my favorite thing to sip on is hot whiskey. Cold whiskey.

[B]

Makes sense.

[A]

Whiskey I can't live with. I can't live without my.

[E]

My.

[A]

Answer. Pet chinchilla.

[C]

She's a sweet thing.

[A]

When I need a snack, I reach for salty nuts. Sweet poop tang. Of course. Of course. Possibly be sweet. Po. Sweet poontang. These are a few of my favorite things. Fast food. Answer whiskey. Magazines. Answer. Rolling Stone. Penthouse. That makes sense. I seem to always need more. Answer Weed. Answer to zigzag paper.

[D]

Merry Christmas.

[A]

Merry Christmas to you. Bobbo, run over to the gas pipe. The gas pipe. The gas pipe. And grab you some zigzags. On me, Giga.

[E]

You too.

[A]

Johnny Manziel.

[B]

Oh, what was Johnny. Johnny was at the 80s disco place last night and he kept. What was he doing? Just kept yelling gig him. And laughing like.

[A]

If anyone is in the state of Missouri. Missouri.

[D]

Show me.

[A]

Call me. If you're listening to this show on the state line of Missouri live, I want to know if we are in Missouri. I think we are.

[C]

We got Calls from. Was it Joplin or Springfield? Way up there.

[A]

If you're in the state of Missouri right now listening to us live, please call 800-800-7234. Do we have 800, 800 radio? And I'd like a air check, if you will. You're on. I hear you. And what station we're on also. Same thing goes for New Orleans, Louisiana or Huma.

[C]

Hoo Ha, New Orleans.

[A]

New Orleans, 800, 800 radio. 800, 800, 7234. And the call screener. Tell them you don't have a car. Tell them. Just put them on your air with me.

[B]

Louisiana's been coming in [e-mail] a lot more cars coming through.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah, a lot more. I don't have a setup for New Orleans yet.

[B]

Yeah, we haven't really.

[A]

We have a setup for Baton Rouge with abc, but I don't. And we have obviously set up for Laffey, but I don't have a set up for New Orleans, so probably one. It wouldn't surprise me if we were gonna put a store in down there. Not that I want to, but I think we're gonna wind up growing in that region to the point that we will need to put a little office in down there to dispatch out of.

[D]

Like a real deal brick and mortar.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And we have a sells your car center there where they can just come right up and do it in person also, because I think that I just have high hopes for that region. And when we get these weird addresses, we're gonna have to have a cross crew. Maybe we don't, but we're just gonna have to have another crew just like. Hang on, here's some calls. Let's see what we got. Here we go. Oh, there's a bunch of calls. Cool.

[C]

Good morning.

[A]

You're on the air.

[E]

You bet. John.

[A]

Yeah. Where are you?

[E]

I'm at the borderline in Missouri, just like you. You ask and you shall receive.

[A]

Okay, so we are on the air in Missouri and is what station?

[E]

The K keg?

[A]

The kkk? The Klux K. Oh, man.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. And you guys, I don't know if you guys give out very good information on. On women, on how to keep a woman either. Some of them man trouble.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's how you run one off.

[A]

He was saying to keep your ex wife away. Flirt with her.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

If you hear it on the show, don't.

[A]

He said we would have talked about during the break.

[E]

He said.

[A]

Yeah. When she calls him like. She's like, hey, Johnny Blah Blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like, yeah, baby, what are you wearing? And she just won't call. She'll just go away. That's perfect. I think it's great.

[E]

And I don't think that'll work.

[A]

Good morning. What's your name?

[E]

Michael Hatch.

[A]

Where are you?

[E]

Mike Seligo, Missouri.

[A]

Missouri. Okay, cool. Do you list this on Saturdays or did you just trip into today?

[E]

What was that?

[A]

Do you listen? Are you a regular listener or did you just stumble into us today?

[E]

No, just stumbled into a driving on Highway 52 here in Arkansas.

[A]

Well, I hope we're keeping you entertained.

[E]

Yeah, somewhat, actually.

[A]

All right, who this be? Line 4, 19 6. So we are in Missouri. Missouri. What is it, J.D. you live there?

[D]

It depends on where you are part of the state. Missouri's fine if you're not from there.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But if you are from there, it's Missouri.

[A]

Missouri.

[D]

In St. Louis, how do you turn.

[A]

An I into an A phonetically?

[D]

I'm not sure how they did that.

[A]

Well, the Mexicans down South do the same thing. EO and own.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a coworker, Holly Hannah, and she can turn her I into an.

[D]

A. Yeah, I into an A.

[A]

You have to be backwards and upside down. It's a very advanced pole technique.

[C]

Oh, pole.

[A]

Cross your right leg over your left knee like this. Hannah Bailey, the stripper. And swing.

[D]

Oh, I see it. Very nice.

[C]

It makes your babies flop.

[D]

I could tell that.

[A]

I saw. What are your boobs names? Madonna and Beyonce. No, Britney. Wasn't it Britney? No, but I got that one replaced. Stone.

[D]

Oh, so it's Beyonce now. Bouncing Beyonce.

[A]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Britney, will you come back? Not Britney, Hannah. When we do the podcast recording. Oh, my God, call me Britney. You are a bit of a JD when are you leaving for your trip?

[D]

I leave Tuesday on an airplane at 5 o' clock in the morning.

[A]

Well, you must have got a deal. That's why you're taking time.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

What's it cost you to fly a second Thomas?

[D]

About 600.

[A]

That's not too bad.

[E]

Nope, not bad.

[D]

You go through Miami and you go down to St. Thomas for 10 days and you're.

[A]

10 days?

[D]

Yeah, my sister has a place there. Otherwise I would not be going.

[A]

I understand. I'm going to Colorado for a couple days. My uncle has a place there.

[D]

There you go. Perfect.

[C]

And your phone's your sister.

[A]

It's all about having friends with stuff.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's the hook.

[D]

My sister's got a place in the outer Banks in North Carolina and down there. I love her.

[C]

And she got an old man.

[D]

Yes, He's a doctor.

[C]

Would you like another old man?

[D]

No.

[C]

Like a side guy.

[D]

No, I don't believe so.

[A]

What are you wearing?

[D]

Thanks. Bringing it up. What are you wearing? Hey.

[E]

Hey.

[C]

Brittany, this is Babo. What are you wearing?

[A]

Hey, remember when Babos. Actually, we'll talk about this off the air when we do the podcast recording. Yes, I'm excited about it. I've got a lot to say. Unfiltered.

[C]

A lot of people are digging that podcast portion of the show. I think it's. I think it's growing. I think it's picking up.

[A]

Well, that's the idea. Hang on. Here's a. Here's a call. I want to see who this is. We're out of time. Good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Hey, what's going on, man?

[A]

Not much, just cutting.

[E]

God. Can we have some music?

[A]

You want some music?

[E]

Yes. Yeah.

[C]

What? What?

[E]

I love your show, man. I love your show, but sometimes play some more music. Okay.

[A]

What. What's. What. What station I'm going to?

[E]

104.7 the bear.

[A]

Oh, you're in Wichita Falls? Yes. Oh, cool. Well, hey, I like.

[E]

Actually, I want to hear some music sometimes, you know.

[A]

Well, if you sit there for one minute, you're fixing to hear some music.

[E]

You know, I heard a while ago you actually played some. What was that?

[A]

Metallica?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Queens, right?

[E]

Here's the music.

[A]

Queen's right. What? Hey, What. What. What's your selection? Why don't you do a shout out? We'll do a pick. Ozzy. Which one?

[E]

Changes.

[A]

Hey, Bobby, pull up Changes and play it for old boy in Wichita Falls. Out of Ozzy's catalog. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, man.

[A]

All right, we're on. We're on it later. What do you say? Oh, no, it doesn't. I can't play it from here. We'll be. We'll see. See you next Saturday morning. Thanks. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[C]

Locker out. I'm out. Back to the money.

[A]

Time is money.

[C]

Let's get.

[A]

All right, we're clear in the. Is he out? I don't want. I don't want my. My niece to.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Nope.

[A]

Okay. That was bad timing.

[C]

The following is a special podcast of the John Claywolf Show.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The subject matter is not very suitable for wholesome people.

[A]

Do you have a lift? Be floody.

[D]

Just about to ask. Are we clear? I guess we are.

[A]

This. I mean, we've Turned the satellite receiver off.

[C]

I've got a neck like a pencil and a great big.

[A]

Are they still in here?

[D]

No, they're gone.

[A]

Okay. They're gone. Okay.

[C]

They fled.

[A]

Yeah, that's my uncle with a house in Colorado.

[D]

Oh, that's okay. And that's where you're going.

[A]

You're.

[D]

You're flying the kids up. You driving.

[A]

What are you doing? Flying.

[D]

Flying.

[A]

So, Bob, how do you feel after the big Christmas party last night? Oh, man, we're all right now.

[C]

So you sleep hard?

[A]

I didn't even see you even start to wrestle up any.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

Did I? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He was trying.

[C]

I was talking a lot.

[D]

Did we ever get to the story about the chick at the bar?

[C]

Which one?

[D]

I don't know. You started to tell a story and then you could.

[C]

Dude, it was happening for me all over this. This last bar we went to. Telling you, I got eyes all over the place.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Just hesitation. Always bad. Didn't act on it. Didn't go for it.

[D]

Okay, so it was you not following up.

[C]

There was this skinny leg chick in white pants. Okay. In the middle of December.

[A]

You weren't going to get any of that, are you?

[C]

She was giving me signals, Michael.

[B]

It was a time where when the man left, she turned and she's kind of doing the raised eyebrows. Kind of doing a little bit.

[A]

Really? The two finger.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Yeah, no, I remember that. Well, she had those. Those blue. Those white jeans on that look like.

[C]

They'Re painted on in the middle of December. White jeans. That's a rock and roll.

[D]

Was she a hooker?

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Not at all. Well, she was a West side that wanted to look like a classy. But she wasn't. Yeah, but she wasn't far. She wasn't like a trailer trash, dirt like ho.

[E]

Dude.

[A]

But what.

[C]

When you was like Miss America up close, high cheekbones. Yeah, yeah, gorgeous.

[A]

I mean, she might have gone to private school.

[C]

Gorgeous. Dark. Dark eyebrows.

[D]

You think you had a shot with this?

[A]

No, he had no shot. There was about.

[C]

There's about 60 seconds when they played fool in the rain, man.

[D]

Yes, that was the one.

[C]

Her old man went to the bathroom.

[D]

Yeah. Now you would have zipped.

[C]

I don't know if you caught this. Turley was watching the whole thing.

[A]

Y' all were sitting on that side of the table. I had my back to her.

[C]

There was. Now she was 40ft away, but there wasn't something intimate going on.

[D]

And you had a lot to drink and smoke.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know who was rough? Was Who? You. You could have got on old Wyatt's boss before you got on her.

[C]

Shanna.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

We were supposed to talk about her.

[A]

She looked like. Yeah, she was up.

[E]

Up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And. And, yeah, that's for. I talked to Wyatt for a long time last night.

[C]

She had like a red and black checkered flannel shirt and then some kind.

[B]

Of a faux mink, some faux fur.

[A]

But she didn't have any titties. No. What's. What? I mean, I just don't have a lot of time for women without any titties.

[D]

You had somebody sitting at the table. You were sitting at the Mexican restaurant that. They were literally sitting on the table.

[A]

Titties.

[D]

Her breasts.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, good for her. See, I like that girl is at.

[E]

The end of the table.

[D]

When I walked in, I went, lord, it's like they're serving them up. She's sitting.

[A]

Was that my wife?

[D]

No, it wasn't your wife at the end of the table.

[B]

I think he's talking about Mo.

[A]

They were Molina.

[D]

And she was literally leaning over the table like they were on the plate.

[A]

What? Was she young or old?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And was she Hispanic or was she white?

[D]

Hispanic.

[A]

And did she have a bad Christmas sweater on?

[D]

I don't remember.

[A]

Were you there for the Christmas sweater vote?

[D]

I was not.

[C]

I was like, oh, JD's robbing the crazy.

[D]

She was at the end of the table, the opposite where you were.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And you were looking at her titties.

[D]

I just walked in and went, what in the world?

[A]

That's. Is that his daughter?

[D]

Is that a quesadilla?

[A]

That's Connie's daughter.

[D]

Okay, well, I'm just telling you what I saw.

[A]

No, no, she. She works here and she saves money and goes and buys tattoos with the money.

[D]

No offense.

[A]

That's.

[D]

No, they were beautiful.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, she's only 19 as long. Hey, do you have any more Comments about a 19 year old breasts that you'd like to share with everyone?

[D]

Saying they were being presented is all I'm saying.

[A]

Nothing. Nothing. Like, you know, teenage. Teenage. Especially Christmas time.

[D]

The one time I talk, I get.

[A]

In trouble, you know, hey, dude, if tomorrow. Monday. I don't think the school's let out yet. I think Monday. Monday at noon, they're getting out early. And if we get up in the morning, we can go to the breakfast place, then we can go hit the high school parking lot.

[D]

I live right next door.

[A]

Because, you know, they'll be floating around because they're really not to go to Class, because you're getting out early. We do burnouts in the high school park. Maybe get you some.

[D]

I used to love it when my kid was in the band. Man, you go there and you go, oh, my son's in the band. But in the whole time you're looking over going, those cheerleaders are amazing.

[C]

Or, and I'm new at this, so just tell me if I'm wrong. Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, my God.

[A]

Hey. That is a very good place to find to wrestle up trashy hoes. Yeah, trashy hoes. It's like the water park on a Tuesday when they have supervised visitation. That's true. The strippers are there with the court appointed custodians.

[C]

Ready, moms?

[A]

Yes. And at Chuck E. Cheese, there's a lot of that going on. There's a lot to be had at Chuck E. Cheese on a weekday afternoon.

[C]

What do you call it?

[A]

When, like, I mean, a lot.

[C]

A good mall. Like, what is it? Seminary south used to be a good mall. Not now it's Mexico and now it's all Hispanic mall.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A lot of moms there, man.

[A]

Mexican moms.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do you like Mexican panoche?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, you know, they're. Yeah, right?

[A]

Yeah. And they're Catholic.

[C]

What's not to love?

[A]

But, but, but, but I mean, and really you can put up. I mean, they're easy to please. Shove a water burger in their mouth and get a blow job on the floorboard of your Chevy truck. It's that easy.

[C]

You know what I do? You know what I do? I walk around with a. With a bag of balloons in my pocket.

[D]

There we go.

[C]

Yeah, well, no, and when I see those moms.

[D]

Yeah, with four kids, right.

[C]

I just happen to have four balloons.

[A]

Balloons.

[C]

What's your favorite color, kid? Blue. Here's a blue and a green and yellow.

[D]

That's so nice of you.

[C]

So how you doing, mom?

[E]

So what's up, mom?

[C]

How you do this all by yourself? You got an old man.

[D]

I can't believe he left you. What a what a cat.

[C]

Where you from? Let's talk about my place.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

I got a trampoline for the kids.

[A]

The old pedophile. The old creepy dad. You know, you look good in my kitchen. That, that, that 19 year old daughter of yours, you know, she, you, you, both you and her could come stay.

[D]

Stop it.

[C]

K K s to me. A hacienda.

[A]

Wait, you, you and your. You and your daughter, y' all are welcome to come stay with at my place. Out in the country.

[D]

Yeah, the country.

[A]

You know, we've got a double white. It's really nice. It's. It's out of the beaten path. And you and her welcome to come stay garden tub baba. Well, I know you're working nights. You're working nights and I'll take care of her during that. I'll keep an eye on her during the day.

[D]

Oh, dear God.

[B]

You were working the Hispanic angle in the party, in the limo.

[A]

I mean, the, the.

[E]

The.

[A]

The home is only two miles off the main road.

[C]

Was that really.

[B]

Yeah, they'll never find one of our buyers. Wife's Hispanic. And then Connie was in there. And then somebody else was in there.

[C]

Well, I wasn't trying to catch anybody's wife.

[B]

And then you started. Well, no, but you were.

[E]

You were.

[A]

You were.

[B]

You were putting your charm on. You started singing in Spanish.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's that song. They taught me a song out in. Where was it? Del Rio. I was in Del Rio one Christmas time. And the children sing this Christmas song.

[D]

Sure they do.

[C]

No tiempo policeia.

[D]

No, they don't.

[C]

No tiempo police.

[D]

They don't sing this.

[C]

For me. Padre. Oh, they me Padre. No tiempo policia.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what that means?

[D]

This is not. You're making it up. What does it mean?

[C]

No time for cops.

[D]

No time for cops.

[A]

Yeah. So have you had sex with a real Mexican? Bob?

[E]

What?

[C]

Are you joking? This is north Texas, man.

[A]

Have you ever had a relationship with one?

[C]

If you haven't, there's something wrong with you.

[A]

Have you ever had a relationship with one?

[D]

I did.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

How'd that go? Did she stay mad a lot? Yeah.

[D]

They'll cut you.

[A]

I think they get real cut you.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Have you had one?

[D]

No. I mean, I dated one for a while. Oh, okay. Yes.

[A]

Little spicy attitude.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

They'll cut you just for. Just cuz it's a bad day.

[A]

They'll cut you.

[D]

Yeah, they'll cut you.

[A]

Yeah. Bob, did you have that experience too?

[C]

One gift you don't give is a fixed blade weapon.

[D]

No, you don't give them that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever been shot at by a woman?

[D]

I've never been shot at. I had known. The worst thing I've had is a. She went toward a gun and I stopped her.

[A]

Yeah?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

At that point, is it okay to hit her?

[D]

No, I did not.

[A]

You know the old rule. I never hit a woman, but if the is reaching for a gun, I.

[D]

Knock her the out I I bear.

[A]

I mean, why not?

[D]

And made her stop.

[A]

I mean, really?

[D]

Yeah, I Mean, is it?

[A]

Oh, yes. Okay, let's. Let's stop and play the film.

[D]

The problem is.

[A]

Let's play the replay.

[D]

Okay, Here.

[A]

We're gonna hold this.

[B]

This.

[A]

We're running for hate.

[E]

Go ahead.

[A]

She's reaching for a gun.

[D]

Okay, now go ahead.

[A]

Okay. And you reach back and soccer in the jaw.

[B]

All right?

[D]

And here's what happens.

[A]

Okay. You ready?

[D]

Now, the cops show up, and there's no proof that she reached for a gun. But there's a lot of proof. You hit her.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Guess who's going to prison.

[C]

There's only one black eye.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So again, you're going. Even if they're holding the gun to.

[D]

You, there's no proof.

[A]

All right, all right. What do you think, Bob?

[C]

I think you got to avoid that situation.

[A]

Have you ever had a gun pointed at you by one woman?

[C]

No.

[A]

Or anyone? Have you ever had a gun pointed at you, like, for anger or hold up or.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

What was the situation?

[C]

We'll call it a business transaction gone wrong.

[A]

Have you ever seen a movie called Pulp Fiction? Is it something like that?

[C]

Something like that. I mean, but it wasn't like somebody accidentally shot Marvin in the face, man.

[A]

But did. So were they holding a gun at you?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And what were the. What was their communication?

[C]

That's a long story, man. It wasn't actually at me. It was at a buddy of mine.

[D]

But you were there with a gun.

[C]

This stuff we got from your friend is no good, man. We're all Mads back in the days.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So they're pointing a gun while they were giving you the speech.

[C]

Well, giving us a speech, but it wasn't me at all. I just happened to be hanging with this guy.

[A]

Did you say, hey, man, it wasn't me at all. It's him?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I said, excuse me.

[D]

That's how you keep collateral damn damage.

[C]

And avoided the situation.

[D]

John, you.

[A]

No.

[E]

Ever?

[A]

Not that I'm aware of.

[B]

Michael. No.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Leonard Skynyrd rule, dude. Excuse me. Get out of that situation.

[A]

Romero Romo was funny today. Yeah, it was good chlamydia thing. Randy the Chipmunk. We. We said nut. And obviously there's some onomatopoeia with the or images, injury, whatever you want to call it.

[C]

I know the only nut onomatopia would be like squirt.

[A]

Well, Randy got plenty of nuts today on the air when he Rush was funny.

[C]

Have yourself a nut.

[A]

That's it. And I need to get some sleep. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, y' all do.

[A]

I got up at 7 to do a conference call. And what time did you get up? Did you go to sleep? Have you been to sleep, Turtle? Did you fall asleep? I did.

[B]

I got about an hour and a half sleep.

[A]

Baba, when you were sleeping in there, you looked so bad. Yeah. And we posted a video of you on Facebook on the John Clay Wolf Show Facebook page of you sleeping and snoring and, like, your eyes would open a little bit, like you were having a bit of a seizure. You looked like death was in the mix. I mean, you sounded bad. You smell. You could smell the bad through the video.

[C]

Well, no one gets out of this thing alive.

[A]

You basically yourself in there, and I.

[C]

Don'T think so now when you walk.

[A]

It was dank bog, dude.

[D]

Why was the Russ Martin poster looking at you?

[A]

Yeah, that was weird as.

[C]

That was weird to wake up to. I don't know. And there's dozens of packages of taco sauce on the floor.

[A]

Turley was throwing condiments at you, trying.

[B]

To wake your ass up.

[A]

And then. So we skipped the first hour to fuck with you and then wake you up. Like, we're starting the show now at 9, where you missed a whole hour. When did you realize you missed an hour?

[C]

Just now.

[A]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[C]

What are you talking about?

[A]

Are you kidding? No. Really?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't know.

[A]

Did you really? Did you really?

[C]

I woke up.

[A]

So when you came in here at 9, you thought we were. Because we've been on there for an hour talking about you.

[E]

You.

[A]

That first hour.

[D]

Really? First hour? Yes. Did it not occur to you we've only been on three hours?

[C]

That is funny. No, I. I mean, I'm easy.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I know you love your radio gig, but you missed an hour of it because you got too drunk because you're a goddamn alcoholic.

[C]

Oh, come on, man. Everybody was there.

[A]

All right?

[C]

Everybody's there.

[A]

Merry Christmas, ass face. See you.

[D]

Happy New Year.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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