The John Clay Wolfe Show — Episode #80
Date: February 12, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Co-Hosts: JD, Bobbo, Casey, Turley
Episode Overview
This episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show captures the show's signature blend of unscripted, fast-paced banter on cars, sports, popular culture, office hijinks, American politics, and rock ‘n’ roll. Alongside car appraisals and live listener calls, John and his crew riff on topics from the political climate post-2024, oddball animal metaphors, dead celebrities with active Facebook pages, strip club tales, and Dallas sports heartbreaks. Longstanding show “characters” like Randy the Chipmunk and even impressions of celebrities (Rush Limbaugh, Paul Harvey, Don Henley) drop in for comedic effect, maintaining the show’s irreverent, distinctly Texan tone.
Key Segments & Highlights
1. Show Open & On-Air Banter
[01:20-03:16]
- The team launches into their regular “good morning” interplay, with John chastising Bobbo and JD for making a spectacle of his arrival:
“When I come in... please don’t call me out. Just do your thing, let me get set, and I’ll get going when I’m ready.” — John [01:33]
- Lighthearted digs at each other’s “professionalism” and radio habits set the comedic mood.
2. Allergies, Breaking Bad, and Chipmunk Comedy
[03:30-08:08]
- Bobbo discusses sudden adult-onset allergies, leading to a “Breaking Bad” joke thread on pseudoephedrine and meth.
- Introduction of Randy the Chipmunk, who explains the difference between chipmunks, beavers, and gophers (“tweakers of the animal world”), blending double entendre and playful radio theater.
3. Cars & Listeners: Live Car Bids and Advice
[08:24+]
- John fields live calls from listeners who want to sell their cars—Fords, Harleys, Volvos, Lexuses, Dodges—and provides direct, sometimes blunt, appraisals:
“You’re screwed. You’re welded to that thing, dude. It’s on your family tree now.” — John to a listener about his truck [18:37]
- Gives insight into GiveMeTheVIN’s fast process and dealer perspective, emphasizing real vs. tire-kicker sellers.
- Examples of deals:
- 2015 Silverado: Needs $13K cash to break even, can only get $21-22K [18:00-18:37]
- Volvo XC90: “Is the middle armrest torn like all the rest of them?" [19:07]
4. Politics & Pop Culture: Trump, Protest, and the FCC
[04:28], [50:38-53:13], [56:09-58:44]
- Jokes about “Trump’s inauguration” conspiracies (“Couple of them. On Facebook and Twitter!”) [04:37], segueing into sidebar debates between Melania and Ivanka’s media presence.
- Discussion about women’s marches, Trump’s tape, and protests. John nearly posts a compromising photo in response to a critical friend:
“I had a picture of her getting banged from behind on a light porn she did. And I was going to say, here you are having sex on film for money... what does that do for women’s rights?” — John [51:11]
- Rush Limbaugh and Paul Harvey drop by (as impressions) for political satire.
5. Dead Celebs Who Still "Live" Online
[22:30-23:08], [63:23-64:41]
- The team riffs on the strangeness of people posting on the Facebook pages of deceased friends and public figures:
“There’s one — his mom channels him. She’ll post, ‘Hey, it’s my birthday today. I’d be 43.’” — John
- Noting Elvis, Kid Craddock, and even Rush Limbaugh as examples of legacy social media accounts.
6. Rock & Roll, Strip Clubs, and Susie Schnapper
[41:29-44:39]
- The “Tweaker Morning Show” introduces Susie Schnapper, an archetypal 1980s rocker DJ whose gravelly, seasoned voice is attributed to Pall Malls and cheap rum.
- Susie shares wild tales (“I did them all. Black Crowes and Van Halen, 1993…”), and listeners and cohosts riff on backstage groupie culture.
7. Satirical Bits: "World's Biggest Son of a Bitch"
[45:03-46:57]
- Parodies of the “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercial format:
“He never puts the seat down because he only does number two at his girlfriend’s apartment. He is the world’s biggest son of a bitch... Natty Light Tall Boy.” — Bobbo [45:44]
- These bits become show catchphrases, with JD declaring, “That is going to be the new ‘Get her done.’” [46:16]
8. Sports Meltdowns: Dallas Cowboys Postseason Agony
[81:06-87:36]
- John vents at length about the Cowboys-Packers playoff loss and questionable officiating:
“I invested in season tickets... It’s the stupidest purchase in the world... and we got robbed.” — John [81:35/81:43]
- The team debates NFL replay rules and officiating gaffes, drawing a parallel between the heartbreak of Dallas fans and political disappointment post-election.
9. Absurdist Comedy Bites
[78:02-80:39]
- "Axl Rose does gospel" bit — a parody album Take Me Down to Nazareth City with Bobbo and Randy the Chipmunk singing Guns N’ Roses songs as gospel hymns.
- Random “Uncle Roy” check-ins on business operations at GiveMeTheVIN, office pay disputes, and anecdotes about hard-to-control vendor costs.
10. Industry Talk: Radio Programming & Censorship Woes
[121:10-126:11]
- John, JD, and Bobbo discuss the decline of live radio DJs in favor of syndication, program directors' fear of risk, and the Kafkaesque world of copyright paranoia.
- John shares a recent slap from a PA station over an “inappropriate” lesbian football bit:
“Is the word lesbian? …You can’t say lesbian, no I’m being silly.” — John [126:30]
- JD muses: “Nobody wants to stick their head up and go, ‘I got an idea.’”
11. Listener Testimonials: Selling with GiveMeTheVIN
[111:20-115:11]
- A listener from Spring, Texas reports a fast, positive car sale experience:
“I mean, the process was as easy as can be. I just wanted to call and say I appreciate it.” — Ethan [112:39]
- John reminds him of the additional tax-saving he can get if using the car as a trade-in at a dealer.
12. Closing Thoughts & Final Bids
[148:31-149:39, 150:18-151:49]
- John takes final car bids, deals with reluctant sellers, and wraps up with philosophical musings on political rhetoric (“I just—I'm not interested in getting in a war… That scares me,” [152:03]) before signing off.
Memorable Quotes
-
On Radio “Professionalism”
“I'm the hack. I'm the one that doesn't know how to do this. Why can't you sit here and intro everything and give me a minute to get my goddamn coffee ready?” — John Clay Wolfe [02:00]
-
On Caller Expectations
“You’re screwed. You're welded to that thing, dude. I mean, it's like it's on your family tree now.” — John Clay Wolfe [18:37]
-
On Buying Cars As a Commodity
“If IBM stock is $100 a share... 'Oh no, mine’s worth $120.' No, it's not. If you want to sell it.” — John [76:11]
-
On Political Hypocrisy
“I had a picture of her getting banged from behind on a light porn she did. And I was going to say, here you are having sex on film for money... what does that do for women's rights?” — John [51:11]
-
On NFL Heartbreak
“I invested in season tickets for the last two years… and we got robbed. And I want my damn money back.” — John [81:35]
-
Satirical Ads
“He never puts the seat down because he only does number two at his girlfriend’s apartment… Hey, man, I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, make mine a Natty Light Tall Boy.” — Bobbo [45:44]
-
On Dead Celebrities with Social Media
“There's one... His mom channels him. She'll post, 'Hey, it's my birthday today. I'd be 43.'” — John [22:30]
Notable Segments with Timestamps
- Coffee/Banter/Intro: [01:20-03:16]
- Chipmunk Comedy: [05:30-08:08] & [101:15-105:21]
- Live Car Sellers: Scattered throughout, key segments start at [08:24], [17:40], [33:38], [44:03], [62:40], [100:00], [140:13]
- Political Satire/Dead Celeb Facebook: [19:19], [22:30], [63:23]
- Sports/Heartbreak: [81:06-87:36]
- Music, Rock, & Strip Club Bits: [41:29-44:39], [78:02-80:39]
- Radio Industry Rant: [121:10-126:11]
- Serious Testimonial: [111:20-115:11]
Show Tone & Takeaways
The show’s tone remains edgy, sardonic, deeply irreverent, and defiantly unfiltered—equal parts “garage sale with pals” and Saturday morning drive-in. Listeners are treated as insiders, privy to both the ridiculous and the real, and are encouraged to call in, argue, or unload their car for a quick bid. The balance of real marketplace advice, relatable “life in Texas” bits, and biting pop-culture/political commentary keeps the show unique and its fanbase loyal.
If you’re a fan of cars, locker-room banter, unvarnished radio, and a little old-school FM radio chaos, this episode is essential John Clay Wolfe: honest, hilarious, and just on the edge of FCC approval.