The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #86 (03/04/17)
Podcast: The John Clay Wolfe Show
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Date: February 12, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode is an energetic, wide-ranging mix of live car appraisals, irreverent humor, call-ins from across the South and beyond, and the debut of a new automated dealer bidding tool at GiveMeTheVIN.com. John and his crew—Bobbo, JD Ryan, Turley, and a colorful cast of regulars—riff on the car business, truck modifications, FCC-friendly off-color comedy, sports, and life’s oddities. The episode keeps its finger on the pulse of both automotive trends and blue-collar Americana, all powered by the team’s signature raunchy banter.
1. Episode Highlights & Main Theme
- Celebration of a Major Tech Launch:
John premieres the long-awaited automated dealer bidding tool at GiveMeTheVIN.com (see [03:12]-[06:15]), marketed as a game-changer for franchise dealerships. - Live Car Appraisals:
Callers from all over the South (TX, LA, OK, PA, NJ, etc.) get real-time appraisals—some hoping for quick cash, others simply for banter. - Comedy & Characters:
Segments with recurring bits: “world’s biggest son of a bitch,” talking chipmunks, and Buster Dicks running for office. Plus off-the-cuff, sometimes edgy jokes about race, region, and industry insiders. - Sports and Culture:
Touches on current Dallas Cowboys rumors with “Tony Romo’s father,” plus playful debate about music, hard-ass Oklahomans, and the blue-collar lifestyle. - Insider Car Business Talk:
Real-world insights into car values, trade-in negotiations, dealer tricks, and shady resale practices, spiced up by John’s salty honesty.
2. Key Topics, Segments & Insights
A. The New Automated Dealer Bidding System
- [03:12] – John launches GiveMeTheVIN’s “automated bidding tool”—a live system for licensed franchise dealers:
“You can go to givemethevin.com and click licensed dealer, put in your trade-ins, and it’ll throw a number at it that I’ll buy.” (John)
- [06:15]
“We built the atomic bomb of the car business because we’re throwing a live number. All these books and all these sources… had a human involved. But this thing... How many bids can the system do a minute, right? 10,000.” (John)
- Tool is in beta; currently for franchise dealers, public portal remains; focus on transparency, speed, and “real money behind the offer.”
B. Call-Ins: Banter & Real-Life Car Deals
- [11:23-13:51] – Joe from PA:
Sells John a sad story about his Mercedes, dire finances, dying wife, and caring for grandkids, which triggers both sympathy and dark humor.“If I gave you a thousand for it, could we go to the strip club together and blow it?” (John, 12:12)
- [34:00] – Dave, the “double hard-ass” Corvette owner:
“Just an old freaking hard ass.” (John)
Dave refuses John’s offers, highlighting stubborn seller personalities. - [84:13] – Marco with a Shelby GT500:
“33,000... I was hoping to get a little more.”
John haggles, “You never blow your load on the first round, do you?”
C. Recurring Comedy & On-Air Personas
- “World’s Biggest Son of a Bitch” Segments
[11:07], [125:32], recurring:
Satirical voice-over bits lampooning macho stereotypes.“He spends the extra money on premium quality toilet paper because the cheap stuff just won’t stick to the ceiling… He is the world’s biggest son of a bitch.”
- Talking Animals:
Randy the Squirrel/Chipmunk tells stoner tales about bereavement days for a dead squirrel ([73:08], [79:14]), blending animal comedy with commentary on HR.
D. Race, Region & Car Culture Jokes
- [20:00] – Teasing caller about “high yellow” (Creole reference), playful prodding on race, car color preferences, and regional stereotypes.
- [22:24] – Segment: “White, Black, Latino, or Other?”:
Guessing identity of news story subjects based on outlandish behavior.“White, black, Latino, or other? Chicken truck—whitest thing I’ve ever heard.”
- [91:03] – “Real or Fake News”:
Quirky news guessing game.
E. Inside the Car Business
- [15:05] – On not including certain dealers (Houston’s “welded together” cars), and the role of “frame damage Iranians.”
“They run a big dealer group [...] you don’t have to price below the frame damage Iranians in Houston, that doesn’t count.”
- [104:49] – Dead people’s cars as the “sweet spot” for good deals:
“If there was one segment I could just focus on, it’s dead people’s cars.”
F. Listener Engagement – Live, Local, Loyal
- Callers plug their businesses, relate tragic or kooky personal stories, and seek advice on everything from stereo upgrades to vehicle legality post-modification.
- [136:41] – “We drive around alcoholic beverages and we enjoy the hell out of your show, buddy.”
- [152:02] – Shout-outs to staff buyer Renee for breaking sales records.
3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)
- “We built the atomic bomb of the car business...” (John, 06:18)
- “Don’t be a schlamazo. We’re closed.” (Comedy bit riffing on Yiddish slang, 02:38)
- “Joe, look, you called me… now I just lost one of my good friends. S S. Runs downhill, doesn’t it?” (John, 13:01, after tragic caller story)
- “We just changed the car business. Right then, right now.” (John, 06:07)
- “You gotta let me know these things, dog.” (John, 31:34, on affiliate stations censoring his commercials)
- “Why do you say that? Two dogs.” (John, 33:32, riffing on Native American title loopholes)
- “You never blow your load on the first round, do you?” (John, 83:49, to negotiating caller)
- “The difference with us is we actually put out. Kelly Blue Balls—she always tells you she’s gonna give you something, but she never puts out.” (John, 140:34, on value guides)
- “If I gave you a thousand for it, could we go to the strip club together and blow it?” (John, 12:12, to Joe)
- “You heard me right. The Give Me The VIN dealer portal… We’ve developed the automated used car manager.” (John, 08:05)
- “So the system will bid the cars, and I will give it. You say click here to accept, and then it’ll send me an email automatically…” (John, 86:52)
4. Important Timestamps
- Automated Dealer Portal Announcement: [03:12]-[06:15]
- Joe’s Sad Mercedes Call: [11:23]-[13:51]
- Double Hard-Ass Corvette Owner: [34:00]-[36:06]
- “White, Black, Latino, or Other?”: [22:24]-[24:13]
- Comedy: World’s Biggest SOB: Various ([11:07], [125:32])
- Talking Chipmunk/Squirrel: [73:08], [79:14]
- Kelley Blue Book Rant: [140:34]
- Texas/Louisiana Banter; Dead People’s Cars: [104:39]-[107:10]
- Renee the star buyer: [151:58]-[153:15]
5. Original Tone & Language
The show walks a line between brash and sincerely helpful, with banter that’s sometimes cutting, always quick. There’s a strong Texas/Southern identity, eccentric personal stories, and a stream of ribald jokes and locker-room humor, all tightly woven into the theme of real-life car business.
6. Episode Structure
Opening
- Rapid-fire comedy on Yiddish terms and landlord complaints
- Launch of GiveMeTheVIN’s new automated dealer tool ([03:12])
Middle
- Call-in car appraisals, peppered with comedic breakdowns, local color, and ongoing commercial parody “Sell us your car, so easy you can do it in your underwear”
- Recurring bit: “World’s Biggest Son of a Bitch” ([11:07], etc.)
- Rants and riffs on the tough realities of car sales, family, region—“hard-ass Oklahomans” ([97:43])
Later
- Listeners test the new dealer tool live on the air
- Musical interludes and classic rock references
- Participatory games: guess-the-news, guess-the-ethnicity, fake or real news
- More appraisals, negotiation drama, and industry insight
Wrap-up
- Buster Dicks closes out with a campaign-style sign-off ([157:01])
- Pitches the podcast and new website
In summary:
Episode #86 is at its core a master class in blending live radio, business promotion, real talk about cars, and blue-collar stand-up with a southern flare. The highlight is the leap into automated, web-based car bids for dealers—a move John frames as revolutionary. Alongside, the show’s colorful cast and listeners spin tales ranging from the personal to the outrageous, all in the unfiltered (but hilariously self-aware) house style.
“My name’s John Clay Wolf, and I buy cars on the radio.”