#96 John Clay Wolfe Show

Summary

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The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #96

Air Date: February 13, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Co-hosts: J.D. Ryan, Bobbo, Turley
Produced by: GiveMeTheVIN.com

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Episode Theme & Overview

This week’s John Clay Wolfe Show rides its typical irreverent, rapid-fire rails, covering a wild blend of cars, family, pop culture, sports, radio nostalgia, and offbeat humor—plus a dash of genuine pathos thanks to a personal tragedy. Cars remain at the core (callers throughout the show try to sell everything from used Benzes to beat-up trucks), but with plenty of train-of-thought detours: radio memories (Stevens & Pruitt, Uncle Waldo), sports betting chipmunks, rants about Mother’s Day, and the team’s signature blend of edgy humor and candid banter.
Tone: Unfiltered, edgy, and conversational; a mix of sharp wit and genuine moments.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Opening Banter: Radio Station Chat & Nostalgia

([00:56]–[04:21])

• The crew jokes about radio intros and welcomes each other with playful, back-and-forth ribbing.
• Bobbo discusses his weekday job at a radio station with an "eclectic" music mix.
  “There was a station late '80s, early '90s, called it Rockin' Oldies. ...Kind of Caleb-esque... but we haven’t moved on to Bon Jovi…” – Bobbo ([01:23])
• J.D. shares about hunting for gigs, trying to revive his travel show, and tongue-in-cheek laments unemployment, while still receiving severance pay.

Memorable Quote:
“If you work at a radio station and you want me to drive your van, you could do Uber. Actually, I’m trying to get the travel show to continue…” – J.D. ([02:09])

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2. Rock History with Wallace Edwards

([03:04]–[09:27])

• Discussion of Wallace Edwards, a local radio and TV talent known for deep-dive rock history bits.
• Re-airing of Wallace's classic segment on the origins of the band name “Lynyrd Skynyrd,” which devolves into satirical absurdity involving “feather and beecolitis” and Coach Skinner transforming into a birdlike figure.

Memorable Bit:
“He was only able to communicate through a series of complex quacks and whistles… his hair began to grow in clusters resembling actual feathers...” – Wallace Edwards ([07:50])

Response:
“Oh God. And I had no idea that was actual fact.” – John ([09:30]) “Scream laughter is the funniest part of that whole video.” – Bobbo ([09:27])

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3. Mother’s Day Talk: Traditions, Exes, and Caller Interactions

([10:02]–[15:20], [25:35]–[26:57])

• The crew riffs about Mother's Day plans, lighter weekend traffic, and the etiquette of honoring ex-wives as mothers of your children.
• J.D.’s approach:
  “I make sure something’s done for her through the kids. It’s just a dad thing... still the mother of their children...” ([12:02], [12:34])
• Bobbo is surprised by this attitude:
  “You're converting me, dude. You're making me think, look at things the other way...” – Bobbo ([13:31])

Notable Callers:

• Listeners share their own Mother's Day plans—one headed to see Grandma, reminiscing about “magician-style” meals ([26:09]).

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4. Show's Live Car Valuations

(Throughout, e.g., [20:17], [22:36], [28:24], [38:22], [45:47], [47:35], [51:14], [53:52], [60:00])

• John fields a parade of calls from would-be car sellers, rapidly grilling them for details ("Rough or clean? Leather or cloth?") and tossing out bids, usually sprinkled with jokes, regional banter, and needling callers about their rides.
• Example:
  “I think it's a $15,000 rig.” ([127:40]) “Does three grand buy it?” ([111:26]) “Does 17,000 buy [this Tundra]?” ([53:26])
• John’s relentless and quick-witted, moving callers to the website, reminding them to upload photos and VINs for actual offers.

Memorable Barb:
“If you're driving a hoopty and you call into a syndicated program to get a number on your hoopty... expect to get made fun of.” – John ([33:08])

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5. “Randy the Chipmunk” & NBA Playoff Rant

([63:00]–[66:29])

• Randy, an anthropomorphic chipmunk, drops in, lamenting lost nuts after a bad NBA bet and blaming his Uncle Scooter.
• Wacky storytelling (“My Uncle Scooter... was stringing me along all the way…”), complete with trash talk about the NBA playoffs, basketball stars, and gambling jones.

Funniest Exchange:
“If I don’t get a hold of a whole bunch of nuts by Monday, Sharonda’s gonna leave me for that damn squirrel Tyrone again.” – Randy the Chipmunk ([65:50])

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6. Radio Nostalgia: “Uncle Waldo” & Stevenson & Pruitt Tribute

([19:45]–[19:55], [89:57]–[95:16])

• The team reminisces about legendary radio duo Stevens & Pruitt and their risqué, shock-jock-style “Uncle Waldo” sketches.
• John cues up the show’s own Uncle Waldo segment: a dark comic “Catholic school bus” story, poking fun at the boundary-pushing days of early FM radio.
• Reflections on how radio has changed, referenced by the “riskier, anything-goes” past.

Sample Tribute:
“That was fun... Bubba did a good job writing that. However, it was—boy, it was edgy.” – John ([134:56])

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7. Sports & Cultural Talk (NBA, MLB, Rock & Roll)

([66:32]–[69:36], [115:00]–[115:48])

• Recap of James Harden’s surprising NBA playoff performance and the dominance of the Houston Astros in baseball.
• Discussion of the biggest music acts to come out of Dallas (Stevie Ray Vaughan, Tripping Daisy, Pantera).
• Quick takes on sports figures with many children (e.g., Shawn Kemp: “He has 23 children and maybe more now.” [15:45])

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8. Edgy Humor & Notable Bits

• Satirical character Tony Romo’s Dad delivers a surreal bit about Romo’s failed US Open qualification, with golf puns and Cheech & Chong references ([40:30]).
• The “World’s Biggest SOB” parody—riffing on tough-guy stereotypes and listeners’ behaviors ([75:33]).
• PSAs Gone Wrong: Story of a real Arizona radio station airing a “how to hide child porn” PSA for two years ([136:10]).

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9. Real Talk: John’s Family Tragedy

([117:11]–[120:00])

• John shares a deeply personal story about a baby his wife was helping care for who passed away suddenly from SIDS.
• The mood turns somber as he reflects on the impact—“How do you bury a baby?” ([120:00])
• Crew responds with empathy and support.

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10. Calls, Car Deals, and John’s Philosophy on Selling

(Heavily interspersed)

• John repeatedly stresses the ease and transparency of selling cars online at GiveMeTheVIN.com, with pledges to beat CarMax offers and warnings about “old body style” vehicles.
• Offers advice for private sellers and jokes about regional quirks (“In Arkansas, we buy like one a week—you hate us or something?” [112:26])
• Promotes show podcast and friendly competition with other car buyers.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I just spent the week looking for work. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had.” – J.D. ([02:04])
• “He was only able to communicate through a series of complex quacks and whistles…” – Wallace Edwards ([07:56])
• “You're converting me, dude. You're making me think, look at things the other way.” – Bobbo to J.D., on being kind to ex-wives ([13:31])
• “It’s gonna be a beautiful day.” ([01:06]) (show’s opening optimism, recurring irony)
• “My name is John Clay Wolfe. I buy cars from drunks at 2:30 when the bar’s closing…” ([54:12])
• “If you're driving a hoopty and you call into a syndicated program... expect to get made fun of.” ([33:08])
• “He is the world’s biggest son of a bitch. Hey man, I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, make mine a natty light.” ([75:33], [107:11]) (Parody running gag)
• “How do you bury a baby?” – John ([120:00]) (the episode’s raw emotional moment)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Rock History ("Lynyrd Skynyrd" Bit): [05:34]–[09:27]
• Uncle Waldo Radio Tribute: [91:57]–[95:16]
• Randy the Chipmunk NBA Rant: [63:00]–[66:29]
• Mother’s Day/Ex-Wife Kindness Segment: [11:49]–[13:45]
• Fielding Car Calls / Comedy Bids: Woven throughout (e.g., [20:17], [22:36], [28:24], [38:22], [45:47])
• Personal Family Tragedy / SIDS Story: [117:11]–[120:00]
• Sports Talk (Harden, Astros): [66:32]–[69:36], [115:00]–[115:48]
• PSA Mishap/Arizona Radio Weirdness: [136:10]–[137:57]

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Overall Episode Flow

The episode jumps at breakneck pace among car deals, listener calls, sports, music, and comedic skits—anchored by the hosts’ chemistry and willingness to needle, reflect, and riff off-script. Sensitive subjects (family, death, difficult ex-relationships) pop up amid extended bits of comedy and madness.

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Final Thoughts

A comedic, kinetic, and unvarnished celebration of the absurdities of modern life—tinged with genuine humanity—Episode #96 is a microcosm of The John Clay Wolfe Show’s unique brand: relentless hustle, nostalgia, and the kind of radio that feels both oddly personal and larger than life.

To buy or sell cars, or catch past episodes:
GiveMeTheVIN.com | John Clay Wolfe Show Podcast

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Transcript

[A]

From the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf Show. Call John toll free. Cheap bastards. 1, 800, 800 radio now. John Clay Wolf broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios. It's time for the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up now. 800-800-Rode. Or log on to GoWolf.com now. John Clay Wol.

[B]

Yeah, Daddy, double up on those intros.

[C]

You can never be intro'd enough.

[B]

That's true. In fact, I think you should do it again. Any intro is a good intro.

[C]

No, that's any landing you walk away from unless you're UN United.

[B]

Good morning, everybody. It's the John Clay Wolf Show. It must be Saturday. J.D.

[D]

Ryan.

[C]

Good morning, Baba.

[E]

How are you doing?

[B]

How are you, old buddy?

[C]

It's a beautiful day here on the Johnny Bead Show.

[B]

It's gonna be a beautiful day.

[C]

It's gonna be a beautiful day. How was your week?

[B]

Well, you know, wonderful. I cannot complain.

[C]

So you work at a radio station during the week?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You do? What do y' all play? Oldies?

[B]

Ah, we do a really, really eclectic mix.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

There was a station in the late 1980s, maybe early 90s down here that called it Rockin Oldies.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that.

[B]

Okay, it's kind of Caleb esque, but we haven't moved on to Bon Jo.

[C]

Give me the. Give me both ends of the spectrum. Leonard Skinner. Yeah. Mo Haggard. No, no. I'm just wondering what the boundaries are.

[B]

Willie. They try to use things that have charted.

[C]

Pop. I mean, Jake Cross, you've blown it all sky high.

[B]

Did we go all the way back to the Platters and Johnny Man.

[C]

Oh, caring.

[B]

I got you from time to time. And as recent as maybe 94. It's a neat mix of music.

[C]

Very cool.

[D]

How about you, J.D. what did you do this week?

[C]

I just spent the week looking for work. It's the hardest job I've ever had.

[B]

I didn't want to go.

[C]

I'm unemployed. So if you work at a radio station and you want me to want to drive your van, you could do Uber. I could do Uber. I thought about that, actually. Actually, I'm trying to get the travel show to continue the Texas road trip. And in fact, I'm trying to get it on Bobbo station.

[D]

Well, Babbo.

[C]

Yeah?

[E]

Did you.

[B]

Did you hear back?

[C]

I did not. I sent her an email, but I didn't hear back from anybody. Actually, I've got out of 10 stations, I have three of them back on, so that's good. Yeah.

[F]

So you're Employed then.

[C]

Right? I'm technically employed. But we're not going to say that on the radio because if I do CBS will not pay me my severance. I'm kidding. I'm kidding for sure.

[B]

That's such a. I don't feel sorry for you at all.

[D]

Why?

[C]

Because you're still getting paid for a couple of weeks. Not like for like last time they two years.

[B]

I feel sorry for you in June.

[C]

Enjoyed CBS working with than the great folks. Great folks.

[B]

Hey, we got some. Some great response last week from our Wallace Edwards.

[C]

Wallace Edwards. Now who is Wallace Edwards?

[B]

Wallace Edwards is a long haired local. Local radio talent.

[C]

Okay. And TV talent.

[B]

Used to do car talk show. He always had you know a today in rock history.

[C]

He's.

[D]

He's.

[B]

He's odd deal and I don't think he gets to do those anymore. That was like probably his favorite part.

[D]

Of what he does.

[B]

And so he. He does them occ. Okay.

[C]

So he finds the unique angles of rock groups and stars that maybe you didn't know.

[B]

Yeah. Guys deep inside some of the behind.

[C]

Scenes stuff like Elvis and Skynyrd and some things you may not have known about.

[B]

Right, right.

[C]

He's amazing.

[B]

His research is impeccable.

[D]

It's unbelievable.

[B]

And I just love his cadence, the way he talks.

[C]

He's. He's a pro.

[B]

Anyway, Wolf dug up one and it's something we did years ago. Charlie, how long ago has this been?

[F]

Five years.

[B]

Maybe that long.

[F]

Yeah. And we haven't been on this station for five years yet.

[B]

So it was about Lynyrd Skynyrd. You know Lynyrd Skynyrd? Oh, Skynyrd were named after their gym coach. And the real Coach Skinner passed away back 2010 or something.

[E]

When we.

[B]

When we first had Wallace do this.

[C]

Bit did no idea how they got their name. Always I love how the. How they get names. You know how the Beatles got their name.

[B]

Yeah. I think John said that he dreame a man on a flaming pie came and said you will be Beatles.

[C]

No, this is not at all with an A. It's not even close. No, they like the. They like Buddy Holly and the Crickets. They like the idea of the Crickets. So they went with Beatles.

[D]

No.

[B]

And they were silver Beatles but. But spelled regularly. B E E, T, L E, S. Yeah. And then John said he had a dream about a man on a flaming pie.

[D]

This is true.

[B]

McCartney later on in the early 2000s had an album called Flaming Pie. That was a takeoff of John saying.

[C]

That I just never know when he changes Tracks.

[F]

I think he's full of it.

[B]

Google it, dude. John Lennon. Flaming Pie.

[C]

I'll look it up.

[F]

Will come up on your screen.

[C]

Undoubtedly.

[B]

I should do it today in music.

[C]

Flaming pie. Holy old flaming pie bit. I just walked down that one, didn't I? I walked right into it.

[B]

The old flaming pie bit. Missed it by that much.

[C]

All right, so we have Wallace Edwards.

[F]

Today from this is an oldie but goodie. This is Wallace Edwards on Lynyrd skynyrd.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

In 1970, before Ronnie Van Sant and his band found fame as one of the premier southern rock acts in the history of American popular music, the young Florida natives first had to find a name for the band. The group settled on what they considered a hilarious inside joke. Leonard Skynyrd. A mocking tribute to a physical education teacher at Robert E. Lee High School. Coach Leonard sky, who was notorious for strictly enforcing the school's policy against boys having long hair and who never went anywhere without his coach's whistle. Despite their high school acrimony, the band developed a friendlier relationship with Skinner in later years. He even allowed the band to use a photo of his Lynyrd Skynyr realty sign for the inside of their third album. And Lynyrd Skynyrd. The band went on to become a world famous rock and roll standard of the 70s. Meanwhile, Coach Skinner, who was only 40 years old, on to early retirement at the hands of feather and be colitis, one of the first forms of incurable bird flu and a particularly cruel ailment that, while not immediately terminal, caused a remarkable medical anomaly. Besides extreme symptoms of pneumonia, victims of feather and beec colitis in later stages developed actual bird like physical traits. And Coach Skinner's case was an extreme one. His metabolism skyrocketed, which required a steady diet of seeds, grain. And simple proteins to maintain vital functions. His voice box and vocal cords shortened and shrank until his ability, Until his ability to speak was virtually non existent. He was only able to communicate through a series of complex quacks and whistles. And the fibers of his hair.

[D]

Keep going, wall.

[B]

And the fibers of his hair began to grow in clusters resembling actual feathers. When Ronnie Van Sant heard about Coach Skinner's incredible ailment, he composed a song in tribute to the band's old mentor. They also donated a portion of every live show performed to the Free Bird Society, a non profit organization set up to fund research to find a cure for feather and be colitis. Over the years they raised more than 70 million DOL and the song became one of Lynyrd Skynyrd's best known chart topping classics. And years later, when Coach Skynyr passed away just this past Wednesday, it wasn't from feather and beecolitis at all. He actually choked to death on an earthworm. Because in the words of Ronnie Van Zant, the bird coach Leonard Skinner could not change, but he could whistle. And that's this week's today in rock music history. I'm Wallace Edwards.

[F]

I think the Scream laughter is the funniest part of that whole video.

[C]

Oh God. And I had no idea that was actual fact.

[B]

Those were the days.

[C]

Those were the days, man. Too crazy.

[B]

Make some damn radio up in here.

[D]

Good morning, man. Sorry I'm running late. Food luns were long.

[B]

Oh, it was a total stack up.

[D]

Food lines.

[C]

Not like your name's on the show or anything.

[D]

Total stack up. Good morning. Hey, Jenny.

[G]

Johnny.

[D]

Hey, Bob.

[B]

Mister, this semester you wasted a total of eight hours of my time.

[C]

Oh, she's.

[D]

Man, there's nobody on the road out there today.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Wonder why.

[D]

It's just that holiday weekend vibe. Ask Mother.

[C]

Mother's Day? That's not a holiday.

[D]

I'm just telling you, people are different. I mean, look at me. I showed up late.

[C]

Yeah, but it's because of Mother's Day, I'm telling you. Are we at home making.

[D]

Do you not. More babies making mothers.

[C]

Making mothers.

[D]

Do you not. On your drive in, did you not notice the roads?

[C]

I don't pay attention.

[D]

Because you're stoned all the time. No, the roads are lighter. It's not a hot. Yeah, just Father's Day, Easter, Mother's Day. If there's an excuse to drag ass a little bit.

[C]

Oh, I got you. That makes sense. That totally makes sense. Because we are the biggest excuse makers in the world.

[D]

Did you say queers are the biggest excuse makers in the world?

[C]

Said we are. We are the biggest.

[E]

An.

[C]

JD took a left turn.

[D]

Mama's gonna knock you out by LL Cool J on DJ Jazzy Turley show this morning. Good afternoon and morning. Bob, did you have. Well, what. What's your Mother's Day plans?

[B]

What are my Mother's Day plans?

[D]

The mothers of your children. Are you gonna go remother them?

[B]

I tell you, and this has nothing to do with Mother's Day, but my. My daughter is graduating this afternoon. She's getting her bachelor's degree this afternoon. And that is at 2:00pm right now. I've been up since about 9:00 clock yesterday morning. Except for maybe a couple hours last night, slept very little and Pat didn't.

[D]

Ask you how to build a clock.

[B]

Ask what time it is going to her graduation. And then I'm sure we'll have dinner and past presents around. And then I'm going to go home and not be seen for a couple of days. Except for visiting with my mother.

[E]

Mother.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Sometime in the next 24 hours.

[E]

All right.

[D]

What about the baby mamas in your life?

[B]

What about them?

[D]

They're mothers. You made them mothers.

[B]

Not my mama.

[D]

Did you do anything for them? Your baby mamas, you made them mothers.

[B]

That's not my mama.

[F]

That's a good question though. Do you do something for your baby mama?

[D]

Father's Day in the hood around here?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Huh.

[B]

I used to.

[C]

I do. Cuz I only have one of them.

[F]

So you do something for your ex?

[C]

I make sure something's done for her through the kids.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

It's just a dad thing.

[D]

You're a really nice guy and we've.

[C]

Been divorced 30 years.

[D]

And you dislike her.

[C]

I don't. On the air? Not at all. Okay.

[D]

But you, you do call your kids and get them to do something for her?

[C]

I make sure.

[D]

From you.

[C]

I make sure.

[D]

Like what? Give me an example.

[C]

Just cards.

[D]

I'm gonna get my balls busted when I get home after this. Just because this is like such a nice thing. So this woman that you really don't like at all. Actually kind of.

[C]

But you still go. It's still the mother of their children who I do like.

[D]

You go through the moves to make sure that she gets something.

[C]

And birthdays. And her birthday.

[B]

So.

[D]

So give me an example real quick. Not Bobbo style.

[B]

Well, earlier.

[D]

Go ahead of what you'll do for her.

[C]

I've made sure she gets cards. I make sure she gets flowers. Earlier. A couple times I've done balloons. That was a long time ago.

[D]

What is she, three? No, you never do. You send a balloon maker over to her house. Do you want a dinosaur?

[C]

No, I mean like happy balloons like you buy in the store. That was a long time ago. That was. Yeah.

[D]

I couldn't imagine sending my ex wife something.

[C]

You have a different situation.

[D]

But what makes mean. I don't think so. But after hearing your stories with your ex wife.

[C]

I'm just saying I.

[D]

Because my different situation.

[C]

I love my children and they love their mother. How about that?

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

That's very tough.

[C]

I don't think that's that stretch of big of a deal.

[D]

No, it's not. I just. I mean. No, no. You're. You're converting me, dude. You're Making me think. Look at things the other way. Yeah, I mean, I'm still going to drink. I know that's you, but I'm. I'm looking at this other deal.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

800-800-7234. Is the call in number? Obviously, it's Mother's Day weekend, and obviously we are live and the roads are light out there and everybody is dragging ass. But if you'd like to call in real quick and get your car, bed or just say anything stupid. 800-800-7234. Remember, our Facebook page is John Clee Wolf Show. There's something. Oh, yeah, I've got a listener picture I need to put up there.

[C]

Listener picture.

[D]

Funny.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Funny.

[E]

Fun.

[D]

I'll do that during the break.

[C]

Do you want to describe it or.

[D]

I'll do it later. We've got four hours to film.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

All right, cool.

[C]

Stretch.

[D]

Randy the Chipmunk is coming. He's gonna talk about the NBA playoff. Romero, Romo, Tony. He failed to make the US Open.

[F]

Yeah, he failed. Yep.

[G]

Tony.

[F]

No, not a good golfer.

[D]

Apparently, Stevenson Pruitt bit. God, that's a name I hadn't heard in a while. Yeah, we got a Stevenson brew pit.

[C]

I guess we do.

[D]

Stevens and Pruitt Pit it. We.

[B]

We've got. We've got our. We've got our fingertips on one.

[C]

Okay, Stevens and Pruitt.

[D]

What time are we gonna do that.

[C]

Legendary morning show in Houston?

[D]

They were very blue and very sexual. And I've listened to some of their stuff lately, and it would not ever fly for us. Have you noticed that, Bob? I don't know.

[B]

Back in the day, they were so cutting edge, but there weren't that many people doing that kind of different.

[D]

Well, there's not anybody now because they all got thrown away. They've all got kicked off the air. Yeah, I thought it was fun. I listened to a couple of those Uncle Waldos the other day.

[B]

That's good stuff.

[D]

It is very good stuff. Rush Limbaugh's coming in. Talk about the FBI and Buster Dicks. What is his message today?

[F]

I think it's Mother's Day message, actually. Yeah, he's got a lot of mothers out there. Apparently, he is a lover, you know.

[C]

Yes, he was a lover.

[D]

So if you got a guy that has six kids with six women and they live in different parts of the country and he doesn't even know some of them, is he responsible, dependable kind of guy? I mean, could it really all be the women's fault?

[B]

It depends on how much of his paycheck they're taking, you know, in the month. There are responsible guys that do that. They're all over professional sports, you know.

[C]

Oh, they are.

[F]

Sean Kemp was very responsible.

[D]

Oh, yeah? How many kids did he have?

[F]

I believe it was like 23.

[C]

Get out of here. For real?

[F]

Yeah, apparently that's what everybody's saying.

[D]

Sean K. And who does he play for?

[F]

Well, he used to play for the Seattle SuperSonics.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

And several other teams. He has 23 children and maybe more now. I don't know.

[D]

Mixed breed all the way across. Is he just. I mean, just like rapid fire AK47, just shoot down everything that it doesn't.

[C]

Really pays child support to all.

[D]

Has he had a family photo made? Will you look at it during the break? Because I would like to see it shooting. Sean who camp 23 kids. Kids what would his age?

[F]

It may be off one or two here or there. Maybe more.

[D]

Now the brother has made love, though.

[F]

Yes.

[D]

23 kids.

[C]

Doesn't take long. Really. You could do that in a year. I mean, if you just went boom, boom, boom, boom.

[D]

That set a brother back. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars right here on this station. Good morning, Pennsylvania. Dallas, Houston, Oklahoma City. I think Tulsa else is fixed to come on deck, as is Austin, Baton Rouge, New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. What time do they start? Wait, I'm confused. Yeah, Nolan's is on Lake Charles. Lake Charles starts at nine, as is Laffey. But a lot of those stations kind of bleed over the top of each other. We'll be right back. Remember, givemetheven.com as the website to go sell your car.

[B]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemetheven.com.

[D]

People say it's too good to be true. How do you buy cars from a website like givemetheven.com without looking at it? Well, I've been doing this 20 years. I know what I'm doing. I'm the largest wholesaler in all of Texas. Give me the VIN doll. If we don't beat your CarMax offer, we'll pay you a hundred dollars. How about that?

[B]

Tell us your car dot com. So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up now. 800, 800 radio now.

[E]

It makes a fiery ring.

[D]

So we're gonna bring Uncle Waldo back today at 10:30.

[B]

About what? I was born on Mother's Day. My mother had a special way. She had me from a burning ring of fire.

[D]

I went down, down, down. And the flames.

[B]

That's a nice visual, isn't it? Yes.

[C]

Thanks.

[D]

880, 870.

[C]

So we're gonna bring back Uncle Waldo? Some people don't know what it is.

[D]

I know.

[C]

So how do we bring it back?

[D]

Well, for people who know what it is, they know exactly what it is.

[C]

People in Houston know what it is.

[E]

These guys.

[D]

I know what it is. When I was a little kid in fourth grade, riding to work with my dad. 7:30 on the eagle every morning. Uncle Waldo.

[C]

7:20, but okay.

[D]

7:20. Was that what time it was? I was in fourth grade. And then they left Dallas and went to Houston to K 101. And I think they quit in 97 or 98. And then they both died. Y and it's time to pay a tribute and bring Uncle Waldo back. A lot of people compare us to Stevenson Pruitt. Do sound like Steven Pruitt. Yeah. I mean, we're edgy, we're crappy, we're drunk, we're edgy.

[E]

Edgy.

[C]

Crappy and drunk.

[D]

We're sexist, we're racist, all the fun.

[B]

Things, but what do you mean we're edgy? What's edgy about us?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Edgy, crappy and true.

[D]

John drunk.

[C]

The JL Wolf Show.

[D]

Put them on hold. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Get, get, get. The black white. Oh, is the black white guy here today?

[F]

No, Prek is out today.

[D]

What was he out for? Mother's Day?

[F]

Yeah, it's graduation from Community College Day.

[D]

Man, that always. That party always gets started real early. Like at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. Mato. Good morning. You have an 08 Mercedes Benz GL450 with 83?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

What color is she?

[E]

It's black.

[D]

How long have you had it? How long have you had it?

[E]

Like two years and a half.

[D]

Three what?

[E]

Two years and a half.

[D]

Three years and a half. Where are you from? With a name like Mateo in broken.

[E]

English like this, I'm from the Philippines.

[D]

How long have you been here? Did you. Do you sing for Journey?

[E]

I've been here almost 36, 38 years.

[D]

Are you a doctor? A lot of Filipinos that drive Mercedes are doctors, you know.

[E]

No, I'm not.

[D]

What do you do?

[E]

I'm just. I'm just a regular employee, that's all.

[D]

He's just a. He's just a cow cowboy in a cattle ranch.

[C]

Yeah, but why'd you come here? Well, I mean how'd you get the money to come here? Never mind.

[D]

Yeah, but JD I mean as short one answer question.

[C]

That's why. That's why I stopped.

[D]

This is why they fired you.

[E]

I just got immigrated since 1981 I think. Yeah.

[C]

F you.

[D]

Are you legal?

[E]

Yes, I'm a legal. I'm a U.S. citizen.

[D]

I wasn't accusing man, I was just talking. I'm just cutting up with you. I'll give 9,000 for the Mercedes.

[C]

How much?

[D]

Nine.

[E]

9,000?

[D]

Yeah. Oh, give me the old good old foreigner. Too low, too low.

[E]

Come on, come on. Oh, what about my other. My other car? That's the suv. I'm gonna sell my other.

[D]

How much you for the women? How much you for the children? Go to, give me the. Go to givemethevent.com and load it up.

[E]

I got another one. What have you got? E320 Mercedes Benz 2003.

[D]

These are old ass cars with high miles. Austin. Yeah, what up?

[E]

What's going on?

[D]

Talking to a Filipino that used to sing for Journey on the other line, but he can't remember his lines. 800-800-723. A 14 Mustang convertible V6 with leather. Hey, do me a favor, Austin. Go to givemetheven.com and load that thing up so. So I can look at the pictures on it and we'll buy it right there on our website. Hello? Who this be?

[E]

This is Eric.

[D]

Eric? What do you want? Why are you calling me? Why you bugging me? What do you want?

[E]

I want to sell my Jeep.

[D]

Okay, what kind of Jeep?

[E]

It's a 2010 Wrangler. Yeah, four wheel drive Sport 60, I think six. Between 60 and 60. 5,000 miles.

[D]

Two door, four door, four door. Lifted or stock?

[E]

Right, stock gray soft top automatic or hog leg Automatic?

[D]

Soft top. 10 grand, does that sound right? 14 grand. 13. It's a four wheel drive, right?

[E]

Yes sir.

[D]

Like 13, 14, 15 grand is what my head's thinking.

[E]

Wow. If you can do 14.5, which is what I was shooting for, I mean, I think I can make that work. If you can make that work, I'm.

[D]

Sure I can make it work. Dude, I can make it all work. I mean we're coast to coast. You know how many dip cars we buy? It's stupid. It's stupid. It's gotten goofy. So just, just. Yes, I'll buy your car. Just go to givemetheven.com. load it up. Say Wolf said 14 5. He's gonna buy it unless it's wrecked. It's not wrecked, is it? Are you an alcoholic?

[E]

No, I'm just tired.

[D]

It's hard to buy cars from alcoholics, dude. They cannot stay off the walls in the garage. All right. Go there, go there, go there, go. There we go. Just a couple seconds. Susan, I don't care about the Nissan. I'll buy that. And give me the vin.com. but I do want to hear your joke.

[E]

Okay. What did the dyslexic atheist say?

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

What did the dyslexic atheist say?

[E]

Susan, there is no dog.

[D]

Where are you calling from?

[C]

Hell.

[E]

Springtown Tech.

[D]

Go to give me the vid.com and load the Nissan. And we'll buy that, too. You go buy some more drugs. 8008-0072-3480-0800, Radio Bible. Would you like to take us out?

[B]

We'll be back with more of the John Clay Wolf show right after this, brought to you by givemetheven.com. You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethe.vin.com.

[E]

Don'T carry me too far away.

[D]

When you sell me your [e-mail], you'll quickly realize this is too easy. People are skeptical. It's too easy. What's the catch? Well, cash on the barrel head offer letter emailed to you right now. There is no catch. I'm just really good at what I do. I've been doing this for 20 years. GiveMeTheEven.com I buy benzos. I buy diesel trucks, everything in between. Porsche's, Lexus, the works. Give me the vin.com. i want to buy a thousand cars and I need to buy yours to do it.

[B]

Sell us your car. Give me the VIN dot. So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf show.

[D]

And this is Mother's Day weekend. Good morning. Morning, everyone. This is John J.D.

[C]

Good morning, John.

[B]

Bobbo, how's it going?

[D]

Good, good, good.

[C]

What are you doing for Mother's Day?

[D]

Don't know yet. That's why I'm asking everybody for their.

[C]

Input so I can get some suggestions while you're asking.

[D]

Well, Eric, good morning. You're on the air. What are you doing for Mother's Day, Eric? M3, Eric.

[E]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. What Am I doing for Mother's Day? Probably go to my grandma's.

[D]

Where's she?

[E]

Pasadena.

[D]

Are you a Houston, Eric?

[E]

Yeah, for sure.

[D]

I miss my grandma. How old your grandma?

[E]

She's 83, I think. And yeah, she turned 83.

[D]

Did she like when you were. How old are you?

[E]

I'm 23.

[D]

When you were. You know, when I was a kid, I could go to my grandma's house and she would always have like badass meals, like almost like magician style. Like Shazam. Boom. There it is.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Chicken fried steak gravy. Like babes. Babes. Chicken house. That kind of throw down. Yeah, she could throw those out just like, hey, we all want something to eat.

[C]

Two minutes later and this bam. But here it is.

[D]

And then I watch my wife and like we have to tear the house down and fight and threaten to kill each other to do that.

[C]

Different age, different group.

[D]

Eric, was. Was. Could your grandma.

[E]

My grandma cooks her be all fine still?

[D]

Yeah. What is it about grandmas? Do they have the stuff pre made and hidden behind something?

[E]

No, she just works all day. She's got nothing else to do. You know, actually, you know, and she'll always work on. On her house too.

[D]

My grandmother bought me a Chevy K5 Blazer in 1988. A new one actually. She gave my dad the money to pay for it, but nonetheless. And then it got stolen and I bought a. I bought a 1991 M3. Oh, BMW off of. Yes. And off of a wholesaler in Queens or Bronx CNK Imports. My mother lived in Greenwich, Connecticut and she found it in the New York.

[E]

Was the 91 an E30? Yeah, yeah. With the fender flares and the big original N3. No, those have gone up in value.

[D]

Oh my God. So. So we find this car, they send us pictures, we buy it. 1991 1. I buy a car side unseen. That was really the first used car I bought.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. And we bring this car down from New York to Texas. And I drove it for a couple of years, went to college and I sold it. I put it on consignment at classic BMW in Dallas because they didn't want to give me enough for it.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

But they said they'd consign it. And I drove that car for two years and made 2,000.

[C]

Really?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, Daddy.

[D]

Yeah. Those cars have been going up every since they were born. But anyway, what I was saying is I like them. Yours has 101 on. You've got a 08 BMW M3 with 101. Is it a.

[E]

What color it Is graphite metallic.

[D]

Like it's like a dark gray convertible cooper sedan.

[E]

Sedan E90.

[D]

That, that car that I sold for 25,000 back then now is worth, you know, somewhere between 50 and 80.

[E]

Yeah, 50, 60, 70. Yeah, somewhere around there. Just depends on the condition and mileage.

[D]

Yep.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, I really, I really want one of those. But out of reach for me right now.

[D]

What's your story on this one?

[E]

So like when I was like 16 or you know, my dad told me he was not gonna let me get my license when I was 16 because you know, the insurance is just too much for a 16 year old. So just get that out of your head right now. When I was 18 I finally got my license and I wanted my dad to get by me a BMW like, I don't know, like a 335 twin turbo. But you know, that was also way out of the reach for me. You know, my dad's not gonna buy me a German car like that.

[D]

Are you related to Bobbo?

[E]

Am I what?

[D]

Related to Bobbo? Do you know Bobbo? He's our, he's our co host here.

[E]

No, I don't know.

[D]

He gets very long winded and he can't get to the point. So let's start over. What's your situation with the M3? Not.

[F]

Not. Where were you?

[E]

You bored with the M3? I mean I've had it for like 14, 15 months now. And you know, I mean I, I love my car. That's. But you know, I just want to see what it's worth. What would you get for it?

[D]

Do you have a payoff on it?

[E]

No. Yeah, it's paid off.

[D]

Okay. It's got 100. Is anything wrong with it?

[E]

No, I've actually done all the maintenance myself on it. I'm actually an automotive technician for Ford.

[D]

So mid to upper teens is my guess. Mid, upper teens. Mid teens.

[E]

Mid to upper teens. I mean it's a six speed manual so it's a more desirable.

[D]

It's a ten year old hundred thousand mile hot rod.

[E]

Hot rod. Exactly. And So I paid 26 for it.

[D]

Yeah, it may do 20. I'm. I just. It's all about conditioning that there's no valve problems. And if you're a technician, you know, do me this. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up.

[B]

Up.

[D]

Let's take a look. John, good morning. A 97 Pontiac Grand Am with 120. I think I'm gonna let. We can let uncle Waldo bid that one. Uncle Waldo, are you there?

[B]

Young Man.

[D]

I don't know. 97. Waldo. It's a 97 Pontiac Grand Am. 1997 was beautiful year but at granddad with 120 I used to get lost.

[B]

In nookie in one of those.

[C]

Did you?

[E]

Yeah, I just. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I just like to make a comment.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I wouldn't sell the off my.

[D]

I had to dump it. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.

[B]

She could have bought that car.

[D]

14 Sento with a hunsky. Michael, good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Good morning.

[D]

Where are you calling from?

[E]

I'm calling from. I'm in for South Lake right now.

[D]

South Lake.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Dallas, Fort Worth.

[F]

Cool.

[D]

Thanks for joining the program. Is this Sento leather or cloth?

[E]

It is leather.

[D]

Is it more than 7,000?

[E]

Is it. Excuse me.

[D]

Is it more than 7,000?

[E]

I'm not sure. I'm asking for a brother.

[D]

Your brother.

[E]

Yeah. What? He just came into some money and he was financing the car and then he paid it off immediately, bought new cars and then now he's just got it sitting.

[D]

Okay. It's a hundred thousand mile Kia. I think that seven grand right off the top of my head. Yeah. Go to givemetheven.com, load it up. Tell them John was thinking seven, maybe eight and we want to sell it and here's a picture of the title and we'll come pick it up, get your check.

[E]

All right, cool.

[D]

Thanks, Mike. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Radio, radio.

[B]

And what happened to that? What happened to that 100000 mile car we were talking about?

[D]

That guy started screaming obscenities. Obscenities.

[B]

What's his problem?

[D]

Obscenities.

[B]

What's going on?

[D]

He said I wouldn't. I think we offended him when we started making fun of his 97 Pontiac Grand Am with a 125.

[C]

People are touchy. They're just touchy.

[D]

They really are.

[C]

They just need to get over it. They're touchy. God almighty.

[D]

You know, I know everybody can't drive.

[C]

A big fan dog almighty like that girl would tell you what.

[D]

But you know if. If you're driving a hooptie and you call into a syndicated program to get a number on your hoopty.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Expect to get made fun of. I got a pizza. Because there's nothing about this car that entertaining or fun or like crowd pleasing or wow.

[C]

Just have fun with it.

[D]

Yeah. So I mean a 300 car we've got to do something with like you know, it's like a mangy dog, right? You know, we've got to make it dance or something or get off the. Yeah, do something funny with it, right?

[C]

Paint it blue.

[D]

8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. JD what's in the news this morning?

[C]

News out of North Carolina.

[B]

What do you know?

[C]

They're getting health issues and health problems. And health. It's kind of in the news these days. You know, people getting insurance. Well, this one guy had figured out how to do it in North Carolina. Michael Verone is his name. He had mounting health problems. He had no money to pay for his. He had a leg problem. He had a hip problem. And he actually thought he had cancer. So he came up with an idea. He decided to rob a bank. He went in North Carolina, robbed, asked for $1, and then sat down and told the. Told the bank teller, I'll be over here waiting for the police. They arrested him. They took him to jail, and he's now getting health care. I could just see that being the next trend and. Or the next Republican policy.

[B]

It's not always getting.

[D]

Story number two.

[C]

Story number two. Hey, did you go to TCU or smu?

[D]

Smu.

[C]

Okay, well, TCU this week has had a big week. Remember Doogie Howser?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

They got a regal guy, Carson. Huey Yu is his name. He's 14 years old and he'll be graduating today. He's actually not. He's.

[D]

Where's he actually from? Come on, J.D.

[C]

You'Re gonna report Vanessa. No, he's.

[D]

That's a 12 year old.

[C]

I don't want to say.

[D]

He's not from Odessa.

[C]

No, no. I don't want to say Oriental because that's not right.

[D]

How do you say Asian?

[C]

Asian. He's Asian. Thank you. He's actually graduating today. How old? He's 14 years old. But his. But it's okay because soon he'll be topped by his brother, who's 11 and just started at TCU.

[D]

So what do you go. Do you go. Do you go to medical school next year?

[C]

Actually, he's working on. I just feel so stupid when I read stories like this. He's working on astrophysics and they say actually. And also the theories behind quantum physics. And they say the teacher that's working with him says it's kind of good that he's young because he has a playful mind. And as a result, he's not seeing. Set in his ways like some adults are. So he's really finding out some things. And there's a video of this Kid on The board, just.

[D]

Dr.

[C]

Yes?

[D]

Got some bad news.

[C]

Bad news.

[D]

Lay it on me softly. Okay. Knock, knock.

[C]

Who's there?

[D]

Herpes.

[C]

I don't like it.

[D]

We'll be right back with more of the show live and in person this Saturday morning.

[A]

The John Clay wolf show. Phone bill is currently paid, so call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or [e-mail].

[D]

And we're back. Good morning everybody. This happy mother's day weekend. Yes, we're live. No, we don't want to be. But we're here, so we are. Matt 03 Rangers Ranger with 72, 000 miles extended cab. Is that right?

[E]

Yes, sir. It's a four door extended cab.

[D]

Is it automo? Is it a automatic six cylinder?

[E]

Yes, sir. Three liter with the five speed auto average.

[D]

Rougher, clean condition.

[E]

Average. Probably a little bit below average. The paint on the hood is pretty ate up.

[D]

It needs to. So we just need to sand it and shoot it. Repaint it. Probably col color is it. I knew it. That black ranger paint always fades. And the problem is when we repainted it won't match the rest of it because it's so old. So we'll have to repaint the top half of the car. So it'll be about a thousand. It's three grand. Buy it. Two grand. 2500. How much is it?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, that it does.

[D]

Yeah. I need to see the picture so I can figure out what my paint shop bill is going to be. And I will. I will buy, you know, get it bought. So go to givemetheven.com and load it up. But the miles if they're 170. Hey, real quick, Matt. If the miles are 172, it will not work. It's got to be 72, 000 original miles.

[E]

Yes, sir. Original mile, 72 grand.

[D]

Perfect. Okay. Yeah. Go to givemetheven.com. load it up. Say John is thinking three grand minus what he's got to spend. Or.

[E]

But.

[D]

But he's got to judge what he's got to spend at the body shop. Here's the pictures and we will email you an official offer letter. Thank you. 800. 800. Radiant Crystal. An 09 Century with 141s worth about a thousand bucks.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Thanks, Doug. Oh. One E320 with 77s worth about. It's hard to say. You know. This is so stupid. This car cost $57,000 new. I remember it perfectly.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. My ex. My ex wife, her dad bought her one when we got out of college.

[C]

Right.

[D]

We went down to park place and picked up up. It was a 420. This badass car. How can. How can a 77,000 mile car be worth two grand?

[C]

Now that's unbelievable.

[E]

Seriously, I'm here. Two grand?

[D]

I mean, yeah. Yes, yes. I. I just don't even know where to sell it. It's just very hard to sell. The people that would buy that car would rather buy. I sold SL the other day in the auction. Link.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

For $2,700.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And it was a 92. You know, that car caught. It was 100. It was 100. Yeah. Doug, I think it's about two grand.

[E]

What? Okay, I'll try. Private party. Thank you.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

But why, I mean, are they so expensive to repair?

[D]

He wanted to say go F off.

[C]

I know he did. That's why I try to jump in and change the subject.

[D]

Nobody wants old ass Benzes except the hoopties. And the hoopties want them with 150,000 miles. What were you saying?

[C]

I'm just wondering, is it because their maintenance is so high?

[D]

Yes, that's what's wrong. Okay. That seems to be the problem.

[C]

15 grand to touch. Anything to do.

[D]

So we're gonna bring back uncle waldo this morning. 20 years later. Has it been 20 years? 98 been a while.

[B]

Yeah. I mean 98 would make it 19 years.

[D]

20 years later. And we're thinking about.

[G]

About.

[D]

I'm a Stevenson Pruitt fan. Bobbo's a Stevens improved. And jd it's like we had to bring.

[C]

I worked with him.

[D]

We had to bring Uncle Waldo back and see if the people like it. Tony Romo's dad. Everybody likes Tony Romo's dad. But I mean, he's gonna. We're gonna have to kill him. You know, he's gonna have to get shot when he was crossing the border fence or something.

[C]

J.R. moment.

[B]

You're gonna have to kill him.

[D]

We're gonna have. Tony Romo's dad is fixing to jump the shark. If he has not already. Is he coming in the studio today?

[F]

Yes.

[D]

What time is he showing up?

[F]

What time would you like to be here? He's always sitting in the green room.

[D]

He's always there. Maybe we should just like the lawn guy. He's always ready to go. I don't know. We could bring him in now if you like.

[C]

In the future we should. We could have Dax mother visit us from heaven.

[F]

Yeah, that sounds like a Terrible idea.

[B]

That's not a drag at all.

[D]

Just saying.

[F]

J.D.

[E]

I know.

[C]

I was just thinking the worst possible idea that's came to me.

[D]

Tony Romos. Dad. Good morning. How are you?

[B]

How do you spell whos is a B and a Q. An A.

[D]

Okay, thank you. What brings you in this morning?

[B]

Well, well. Surely you have heard about Antonio's latest foray into the game of golf.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I think it could have been more wise to try next year to qualify for the US Opening.

[D]

So to backstory this. Tony Romo tried out for the US Open. Not the US Opening, but the US Open.

[B]

This is what I say.

[D]

Okay. And he did or did not make.

[B]

You don't know?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

He did not do so. So well.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

With his recent employment as the new field sims after the CBS sports Tony have decided would not hurt to try his fortune with the US Opening this year instead of the next. Mainly because he's not such a good multitasker off the field, you know?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

With no coach at all or Jason Garrett to tell him where to go and which play is next, he have a harder time focus on job at hand.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

So he called his friend Roy Tincoop McAvoy for advice. And he tell him that the most importante factor of all is to employ the right. How do you say, Caddy man.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And Antonio should call Cheech Marin because he was the best carryman for los US Opening qualifying round of game of golf for Tin Cup.

[F]

Sounds like a movie. Tin Cup.

[B]

But Cheech, he is currently in Guatemala filming the action adventure From Dusk until Dawn part nine, the Chupacabra Monologues with Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino.

[C]

What?

[B]

Yes. Do you have work?

[C]

No.

[B]

Apparently Cheech needs to buy more wife bitter T shirts for his wardrobe.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

But she's highly recommend his longtime friend Tommy Chong. You know the Chong?

[C]

Yes, we know Tommy Chong because Chong.

[B]

Is an expert under the grass.

[D]

Grass?

[B]

Yes. You know how it with the contour of the green or the break of the bowl on a long putt.

[C]

Different kind of grass.

[B]

Unfortunately, I think it's safer to say that this Tommy Chung is a different kind of grass expert.

[C]

Yes, that's what I was trying to explain.

[B]

After two weeks of practice with Antonio, they show up for his qualifying round seven minutes late. And Tommy Chung parked his ice cream truck.

[C]

What?

[B]

Right next to. To the tee box. And Tony get out of the van, laughing uncontrollably with no shoes on his feet.

[C]

No shoes.

[B]

Wearing an AC DC T shirt and eating a Frito Chili pie from the Dairy Queen. And when he confer with his Aadiman before he drive the ball right, the Chong, he always say, far out, man.

[C]

Yeah. That's his cat.

[B]

And so Antonio hit the ball. Ball much too far.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

And overshoot the green.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Which he find hilarious time after time.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And when he putt, he's laughing so hard that he tapped the ball accidentally.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Which counts as a stroke. And which he thinks is also very funny as well, which, of course affects his overall score very badly. You know, even winnings the court, really. After shooting 56 shoots over Potter, he turned to. He turned to Chong and asked him, does he want another Frito Pie?

[C]

Yeah. No.

[B]

And of course, the answer is Jace.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And they ride the way to the sunset together in the ice cream truck to visit the alpaca farm next door.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Because they are very nice animals.

[D]

I understand.

[B]

I just hope they did not eat them.

[C]

God, such an adventure.

[B]

They do have a distinctive taste, but they are very aggressive to predators.

[C]

I didn't know that. Eat a pie.

[D]

The Chupacabra soup.

[B]

Yes. And they will go straight for your Frito Pie. And this is bad. There are not that many Dairy Queens anymore.

[C]

No, the Dairy Queens.

[D]

During the last last three minutes, I have had seven texts from people that I know about. What you cannot kill off Tony Romo's father.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

So Tony Romo's father, Antonio Romo, you might ride another day. You will live. Will be on ride another day.

[B]

At 56 over par, there is plenty of room for improvement.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Please be careful with your children.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

Antonio.

[D]

Sean. Good morning. You're on the air.

[E]

Good morning.

[F]

How you doing?

[B]

I'm good.

[D]

What have you got time?

[E]

2015 Super Duty F250XLT Diesel FX4.

[D]

Does it have catalytic converters?

[E]

Does it have cat? I don't think diesels have catalytic converters, do they?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I just didn't know if you deleted the emission system. System.

[E]

No, no, man. It's. It's still under. It's still under factory Warranty. It's just under 36, 000 miles. I didn't touching it long.

[D]

Better short. Short crew cab lifted or stock. Mid 30s. Mid to upper 30s. Yeah. The. The XLT is a massive French in price. Massive on the revolution.

[E]

That's fine. I understand.

[D]

Hey, go to. You're in Tomball. We have a. We have an office in Spring, Texas, and we can dispatch our driver Monday to go to your home or office with a check or pay off information. Or whatever to get the deal done. So just go to givemetheven.com, send us the VIN, send us the pictures, we'll email you an offer letter and we'll make the deal and get it done. Actually, our automation is on this morning. So when you go to givemetheven.com it'll immediately fire you a range within $2,000 of what we'll pay. Our. Our system will bid it and then our guys will call you back with the execs. 8008-0072-3480-0800. Yeah.

[B]

That noise you just made, man, sounded just like that toy helicopter I used to have. You know what I'm talking about?

[D]

Which one?

[B]

It was like on a string and it would only go in circles. My sister used to hold my nose, nose up against that helicopter and sound just like that.

[D]

Thank you, Mike. 0806 Ford cargo with 50.

[E]

Yeah, 52,000. Yes, sir.

[D]

If you're coming in from New Jersey, we need you A, to have more of an Italian Yankee accent and B, be a gangster that hauled bodies around with this at least.

[E]

Well, I, I don't want to get into that too much with the body thing.

[B]

Body thing.

[E]

I can't talk that much, you know, why.

[D]

Understand.

[E]

And you know, they do call me Joey bag of donuts once in a while because they do carry around a bag of donuts.

[D]

So what, what, is the inside clean or does it need to be cleaned or what kind of thing you got going on?

[E]

No, it's a cargo van. I use it to carry my carpenter tools in it. And that's about it. I mean, so I got an AC automatic start.

[D]

What color?

[E]

Small, small. V8 white.

[D]

Right off the top of my head. Five, six, seven grand.

[E]

Five, six, seven. A lot of numbers, John.

[D]

Well, I mean, I need so. So you can go five to seven grand range and if you can go to givemetheven.com and throw us the VIN number and let us look at the pictures and verify that there's no rust on it. Or if there is, show us photos of beautiful man. Yeah, show us what we're looking at. And I, I have a lot of questions that I don't want to ask on the radio because it'll take too long. But if you'll go to the website, I'm thinking five to seven grand.

[E]

All right. I cleaned the blood up in the back so bodies left, you know. That's pretty cool.

[D]

It's very cool. Are there any trash, you know, if you got that trash bag material or shovels or Anything of that nature, please take personalized items out of the van before delivery.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, it's all clear.

[D]

What city in New Jersey?

[E]

Harmony, New Jersey.

[D]

And what's that near?

[E]

We're on the border of PA In New Jersey by the Delaware River.

[D]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[E]

I don't know what else. I don't know where else I tell you. Phillipsburg.

[D]

Well, good. Good morning from Dallas, Texas. And I know that you hate the Cowboys, but that doesn't mean you have to hate on.

[E]

No, I don't.

[D]

800. 800, huh?

[B]

He's down in Harmony.

[D]

Is it?

[F]

What?

[E]

What?

[B]

I don't like the thing he says about his carpenter's tools.

[D]

Jesus was a carpenter.

[B]

This is not a suitable occupation for a friend of ours. I think he should stick to the bodies. He's got a lot of talent with that kind of thing. One time I saw him stick three dudes, and they was all over six feet tall in the back of a Honda crx.

[E]

Si.

[C]

I don't think that happened. No.

[B]

Drove them all the way to Delaware.

[C]

No.

[B]

Put them in a ditch next door. Wendy's.

[E]

Why?

[B]

That's when they started finding fingers in the chili bathroom. You know what I'm talking about?

[C]

Okay, I got it.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Not the Wendy's handbags.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Talk about the Wendy's Chili show.

[C]

Chili, I like.

[E]

Sure.

[C]

That's where you put them.

[B]

That was some really good chili, but.

[D]

Oh, jeez. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. I love our listeners on WZZO out of Allentown, Penn. New York.

[C]

They want to be here.

[D]

New Jersey.

[B]

It's amazing they've caught on the way they have. We. You know, we really worried about that early on.

[D]

No, agreed. No, they accept us. I know what it is is we. We have that. You know, we're smart asses, we're edgy, we're this, we're that. And they all grew up on Howard Stern, so their palette is so blown out that we can't even start to offend them.

[C]

No. Get close.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I like this new.

[C]

Christian show that's on. It's very Nice.

[D]

Mike. A 2012 SR5 Tundra with 6,000 miles. What's the story? Why are the miles so low? I like it.

[E]

Because I live in the Florida. And then when we come into town to see my wife's family, I leave it here for something to drive.

[F]

Where's here?

[E]

In Plano area.

[D]

Okay, so you got it. You just have it. You leave this car up up in Dallas, Fort Worth just As a backup.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Understood. You want to sell it?

[E]

Yeah, we're gonna sell everything. And so I'm just curious what it's worth.

[D]

Okay, well, I'm not curious what it's worth. I want to buy it. So are you wanting to sell it? When do you want to sell it?

[E]

It? Probably in the next couple of weeks.

[D]

What about if we can make a deal right now? Like today, like on the radio in front of everybody, you know, like your mother in law and all.

[E]

What's it worth?

[D]

Wait, now, I'm asking the questions here. I'm running this. I'm running this COD table.

[B]

Are you.

[D]

Are you. Are you wanting to sell it? Are you just wanting to. To toss me around and. And get free kisses?

[E]

No, I want to sell it.

[D]

Okay, so is it. Is it a crew cab or a quad cab? Is it the big back door or the small back door?

[E]

It's the big back door.

[D]

Okay. Is it a limited or an SR5?

[E]

SR5.

[D]

Got it. Big back door. So it's a double cab, five, seven, or four, six engine. Do you remember?

[E]

Five, seven.

[D]

Got it. And it's a two wheel drive, not a four wheel drive?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Leather. Leather cloth. Sunroof. Sunroof?

[E]

No, no sunroof. Backup camera bed liner. Just your typical SR5.

[D]

What color?

[E]

White with gray interior.

[D]

Are the wheels alloy? Are they those cheap ones that come on the cheaper version? There's two versions.

[E]

It's the ones that come on the cheaper version. I'm guessing they're like steel.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but you're sure it's an SR5?

[E]

Oh, I know it's an SR5.

[D]

Okay, so it's a 12 and no miles on it. I've got to redo the wheels. I got to go out and find the real wheels to put on it because the miles are too good on this car to go be selling it with these ugly ass wheels and stuff. So does. Does. Does 15,000, 16,000. Buy it?

[E]

Wow. No.

[D]

Does 17,000 buy.

[E]

Was. CarMax was a lot higher than that.

[D]

I know they were. I'm just trying. I mean, you know, you live in Florida and stuff, so I'm picking on you. We don't give all of our money to people from Florida. What's it take to buy? Cece, you're being coy, too. Hang on. Stop right there, Mike. You calling me asking, acting like you don't know what you're doing, like you're a drunk girl and the bar's closing.

[G]

Oh, I don't know.

[D]

My husband's out of town. Okay, so. But you've just left carmax.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So what did carmax head it at 23? Send me the offer letter. If it's a current offer letter and I don't beat it, then I owe you $100.

[E]

All right, no problem.

[D]

Take a picture of it. Send it to. Give me the vin.com. my name is John Clay Wolf. I buy cars from drunks at 2:30 when the bars. Doesn't that act like they don't want to know what they're doing, but they're actually out shopping like bandits getting ready to sell their stuff and act to me like they're not. So when they do that, I give them stupid low numbers to get them off high center so that we can talk turkey. So we can talk real numbers, right? Oh, I don't know. We're just driving through. Well, you know, I just left carmax. The ink on the paper is still not dry. Keeping plano all year long.

[B]

I hadn't sat in it about a month and a half.

[D]

We'll be right back.

[B]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[A]

Get back, honky cat.

[B]

Better get back to the woods.

[D]

But I quit those days and my. @givemethevin.com I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of questions. I need the vin number, I need a couple of pictures. I need the miles and whammo. There's your offer. I buy cars hundreds per [e-mail] not a bunch of junk cars. I mean real cars. Trucks, vets, Ferraris, whatever. Lexuses. I mean everything from 2 grand to 200 grand. I'm the best buyer in all of Texas.

[B]

Tell us your car, givein.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

The John Clay wolf show phone bill is currently paid. So call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or online at givemethevin.com.

[D]

If this doesn't get you in the right mood, man, you just don't want to be gotten.

[B]

Man, I love Ram jam.

[D]

This is a ramp jam. You what this is needling the spoon. Leonard Skynyrd. It kind of has that Ramjan lick to us too. I love ramjan. And the needle.

[E]

Hand the spoon.

[D]

Now, unfortunately, they are singing about drug addiction. Turn up. Heroin bob. Heroin, black tar.

[B]

It didn't have to be I mean.

[D]

What could it be a sewing lady that is eating her cereal? The needle of the spoon.

[B]

There's no grandma. She's quilting. She's quilting.

[D]

What's she doing with the spoon using as a thimble?

[B]

She got no teeth and the only thing that she can eat at night is the cream of Wheat.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And she's come to love the spoon.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

You know, because it brings the cream of wheat.

[D]

And so when she's the needle part, the needle is about the quilting and the spoon is about the.

[B]

Yeah, she's Cream of Wheat. She quilts till it's time for a bite and she's trying to lose weight so she does five squares.

[C]

Listen. They've to listened. You can actually hear the radios turning off.

[D]

Bonnie, where the hell are you living?

[E]

Honey, I live in Jersey and I'm driving in between Scranton and back in Jersey when you guys realize you can't offend people like me.

[D]

All right, well. And she's driving a three quarter ton Chevy. Good lord. It sounds like you're on your way to Texas.

[E]

No, I'm driving actually in awesome coup. But my nephew bought a Chevy when he came back from Kuwait for 16 grand. He pretty much blew his load on that. They wrecked it a little bit, but now it's got a problem he can't even afford to have looked at and he needs to find a new place to live. So he's got to sell his truck and one of those websites offered him 1935 and really think he ought to be able to get at least a couple more. He says work between six and eight.

[D]

1900.

[E]

1935 to be exact.

[D]

Yeah, I'll give more than that. Obviously. Go to our website, givemetheven.com and load it up and send us some pictures and I'll get it bought and get you paid and get him a new leg and get him a job.

[E]

I never heard of you guys before. I rarely get to listen to Zo because I'm hardly ever in between towns. So that was cool.

[D]

Stay. Thank you. 800. 800. We're saving lives, J. We are saving legs, we're saving limbs, we're saving people. We're bringing racial injustice together. We're doing it all. And we're bringing Uncle Waldo back in about an hour. That's going to be a disaster. But it'll be Fun to see. O2 Regency van with a buck 12 James average rock, rough or clean? Average. I need to see it. Is it a high top or low top?

[E]

What do you mean? Extra.

[D]

Yeah, that. That raised roof.

[E]

Oh, it's. No, it's a regular.

[D]

Is it leather? Cloth.

[E]

It's cloth. It's got the captain chairs in the front, captain chairs in the middle, and a seat to lay down in the back.

[D]

It's like 1500 to 3000. See it, though? Can you go to giveme the vin.com and load it up, send us some pictures? Hey, the thing, the good thing about us, everybody that. Bring it to me. Bring it to me. Let me see. Come see us. Come see us. Be like family.

[C]

Come see us like my Bubba.

[D]

Just come on down and see us. All you got to do is take a picture of it with your phone and send it to me.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

I don't. I won't waste your time. 800. 800 radio is a calling number. Dana. WS6 average, rougher, clean on the Trans Am.

[E]

Hey, John? Yeah, I'd say it's. It's probably average. I mean, the paint's pretty decent, but I mean, it is, you know, older. It's little imperfections, but you don't really see it. You get up close, so it looks great when you drive it by.

[D]

Sounds like a lot of friends of mine's. Girlfriends and wives.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Where are you calling from?

[E]

I'm calling from Spring, Texas. Cool.

[D]

I think it's five grand. Just off top of my head. I bought a short mile one for 10, like a 10,000 mile one the other day. And this one's gonna.

[E]

That actually sounds. Since you. Since you're doing, like, resell them and stuff like that, and I know you got to make a profit, I'd say that that sounds probably right on there.

[D]

Go to the website, load it up. Let's see. Put on the info John on the info box. I talked to John on the air this morning. He's thinking five grand, and then send the pictures in the VIN and we'll email you offer letter. Giveme the vin.com what you got, JD.

[C]

What do I have? We have some news. Oh, we had a break. Oh, we got a break. Okay. Well, I got some news here. Small, you know, small radio stations do public service announcements. Do we have time for this, Michael?

[F]

You know, coming up next.

[D]

There was. There was like. Was it the Eagles that were. Glenn Fry was always going to Don Felder. Right then when it was like, the song was over.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And Don felt like he. John felt like he was getting cut out.

[C]

Hey, J.D. what's going on? Well, we'll be right back after this on the John Clay Wolf show.

[B]

You Know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com satisfy.

[E]

Come on.

[D]

People say it's too good to be true. How do you buy cars from a website like givemetheven.com without looking at it? Well, I've been doing this 20 years. I know what I'm doing. I'm the largest wholesaler in all of Texas. Givemethevin.com. if we don't beat your CarMax offer, we'll pay you a hundred dollars. How about that?

[B]

Tell us your car, you need a vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf Show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[D]

This is Love Removal Machine by the Cult and Ian. Good morning, Bob. Yeah, you look like you're jamming out. Oh, this one. What time is it?

[C]

9:49. On a Saturday morning. Mother's Day weekend.

[D]

Randy the Chipmunk is in the studio this morning. Randy the Chipmunk is hypers. Hell, is he all too.

[C]

I was just down the front. The front room. He's bouncing around.

[D]

Has he been chewing. Has he been chewing on some of Walter White's Baby Blue? I don't know. Better call Saul. I'm telling you, it's turned into Breaking Bad Part 2.

[C]

See, it was so slow, I had to give it up.

[D]

Yeah, you need to get over that.

[C]

Okay, so it's back. It's. It's finally kicked in.

[D]

Part two. Gus the chicken man.

[C]

And they spend 10 minutes one time with him looking out a window, eating peanuts. I'm like, quit.

[D]

I agree. What are you going.

[E]

Randy.

[D]

Randy. Randy.

[F]

Boss Bob.

[D]

Brandy. Brandy, Bob. What's going.

[C]

Comes Randy. Oh, boy. Come on.

[G]

Hey, guys, what's going on?

[D]

Oh, he's got the downers today.

[G]

Trouble, man.

[C]

You're in trouble.

[G]

Sharon is gonna kill me dead or no worm at a Blue jay rally.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Why?

[G]

Because I got duped out of all my nuts.

[C]

Oh.

[G]

And I'm pissed off.

[C]

Oh, you gotta scan. Scam.

[G]

What? End of May.

[C]

You fell for a scam? Good God, what happened? I know it's late.

[G]

I'll tell you who screwed me over is that damn Greg Popovich.

[C]

Greg Popovich?

[D]

Oh, you made some basketball bets. Damn Spurs. Oh, here we go.

[G]

Okay, now, you know I ain't a big fan of basketball.

[C]

No.

[G]

But my Uncle Scooter. Yeah, you remember my Uncle Scooter? He come over Last week and was in my truck, your tree, watching the playoffs on my tv.

[D]

This is the Uncle Scooter. The old moochie uncle from weather. Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Cause he's a damn no count nut broker, whatever the hell that is. And I thought we was just drinking beer and watching sports in your tree. You know, I think now he was stringing me along all the way. Right.

[C]

Bigger plan.

[E]

Right?

[C]

Right, Right.

[G]

My God.

[C]

Oh, you're edgy.

[G]

Got James Harden making 48 points all by his damn self in game three. Hakeem Halajuana was sitting courtside and Scooter's like, them Rockets is peeking, Randy. Too bad they're a bunch of punks.

[C]

Oh, and I'm like, what stirred you up? Did it?

[G]

Cause you got James Harden playing like a damn scalded dog and his furs lost Tony Parker. And I guess they just got a little caught up.

[C]

You're really into this.

[G]

I said something like, nuh, Rockets are badass.

[E]

Okay?

[G]

He's like, you want to bet?

[C]

Oh, here we go.

[G]

And I said, you damn right. So I bet him all five buckets on the whole series.

[D]

All five buckets of nuts?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Damn it.

[E]

Oh, man.

[G]

After game four, Hell, we just lost by three damn points.

[C]

I know, but.

[G]

And then that's when he set that hood.

[C]

What?

[G]

He was supposed to double or nothing on game five.

[C]

Woof.

[G]

But I guess we all know how that turned out. I never felt so moralized in my life. I don't even like basketball.

[C]

Well, why were you watching it?

[G]

If I don't get a hold of a whole bunch of nuts by Monday, Sharonda's gonna leave me for that damn squirrel Tyrone again.

[C]

He's got nuts.

[D]

I'm mad.

[C]

I can tell.

[G]

God, the way he thinking. What are you thinking, Celtics?

[D]

I don't think you stay away anymore. I think you stay away.

[G]

Michael Scooter said he give me the spurs in 21.

[C]

I think he's already taken you, hasn't he?

[D]

He's taken everybody around him.

[C]

Dude.

[D]

I know Scooter.

[G]

Y' all want to play some blackjack?

[D]

You need to. You got a gambling.

[G]

Come on.

[C]

You got an issue.

[G]

Come a li.

[D]

Snake ey.

[G]

Okay. I gotta go make some money back.

[D]

Thank you. Randy the Chipmunk, everybody.

[F]

Boy, everybody in Houston was mad too. James Harden.

[D]

Why? I feel like he quit game six.

[F]

All of a sudden. He was just not there.

[D]

He was.

[F]

He's the nb, probably the MVP of the NBA.

[D]

You know the Strozz are the number one baseball team in the United States of America right now. Pretty damn good by record.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Everybody was saying about three seasons ago, what is Nolan Ryan doing drafting all these cheap rookies? Yeah, they're beginning to play.

[D]

He's better. Mastermind, Strategist of baseball. He was a pitcher. He's a pretty damn good pitcher.

[B]

Hey, man.

[D]

Crystal, Oklahoma. Crystal. Crystal Meth. Good morning.

[E]

Yes, good morning.

[D]

Hi. Do you live in Love County, Oklahoma?

[E]

No, Edmond.

[D]

Edmond. Okay. A14 Corolla Sport. So it's an S model with 54. What color?

[E]

Yes. Charcoal gray.

[D]

What's your payoff?

[E]

Actually, gray.

[D]

What's your payoff?

[E]

About five grand.

[D]

Okay. So you're in equity. Good.

[E]

You mean. You mean how much I owe? Yes, yes, yes. 5.

[D]

Okay. Because a lot of people in these compact cars are real buried. And that's why I was like. My next question was, do. Can you unbury yourself? But you. You're already in good shape. You said it's leather. Cloth.

[E]

It's got leather on like the edges and then cloth in the middle.

[D]

Is it sunroof yay or no?

[E]

No.

[D]

Okay. I'm thinking it's s. Toyota's with 55, 9,000 with 54. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty good. Listen to you. You're not happy. I can hear it. I mean, if there's one thing that I know is an unhappy one woman. And you don't sound happy. What's wrong, honey? What's wrong?

[E]

I need to get an SUV before I get an accident and die.

[D]

Okay. I was hoping she'd say nothing. Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong.

[C]

Nothing wrong.

[D]

There's nothing wrong. Okay, Crystal. We'll go to givemetheven.com and we'll line it up. Frank, I don't evaluate classic cars because I always lose money on them. I'm really bad at it and I get emotional and I do stupid things. Are you there?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[D]

Yeah, I. I don't. I'm not a. I'm not a classic car guy. I'll buy. I know a little bit about Mopars and challengers and a 72 CUDA and all that stuff, but outside of that, Camaros, Challengers, the regular standard muscle cars. I am no classic car guru at all.

[E]

Are there any. Are there any recognized authorities or clearing houses like a PGS? You know, they rate coins and collectibles.

[D]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4.

[C]

Oh, man.

[B]

Hey, we.

[D]

We need a turly sound drop. I want. I want a drop of Monty Python when they were slingshotting the peasants off of the. What's that thing called Great scene. What was that thing called? The catapult. The catapult. Yeah. So when we hang up on collars, I want to catapult them and listen to catapult. Yeah. Yes.

[C]

I can see in my head, love.

[D]

That the peasants are revolting. The peasants are revolting. Nick11 F150 lariat with 100. Does it have a navigation? Does it got some navigation? Does it have it.

[E]

No, it doesn't have the navigation, but it is a lariat with the leather interior and air conditioned seats and everything, but does not have navigation. Or sun.

[D]

Or sun. Where are you calling from?

[E]

Lafayette.

[D]

Are you a car dealer?

[E]

I'm not.

[D]

Okay, when you said sun for short shorthand there, have you been anywhere? What's your mission? What are you doing? What do you want? What we doing?

[E]

I put, I put about 3, 500 miles a month on a vehicle. I'm in real estate, so I drive a lot and I'm trying just to. I need to get about to extend the warranty or buy another vehicle. So across the. I'm at 100, 1,000 miles on it. So I was just looking to get 17 grand.

[D]

What does that sound like? No, that's too much. 15 grand, too damn high. What were you saying about 17?

[E]

No, I didn't say nothing about 17. I mean, I went into a local dealership in Broke Bridge and I was offered 20 for it with a hundred. So I mean, with 101.

[D]

Well, yep, let's look it up real quick. Let's see. Because I buy a lot of the trade ins. No, we don't need it. We don't need it. I guarantee you. I buy their trade ins. This I'm sure. What brand is it?

[E]

It's a Ford.

[D]

Yeah, I, Dude, I was in Lafayette on Thursday. I mean, I bought 50 cars down there Wednesday. Thursday, I, I, I buy yalls trade ins left and right in hauling back to Dallas. There's a reason that I'm on the radio down there. It ain't no, it ain't no mistake. So let's look at average MMR. We had a time, Mike.

[F]

30 seconds.

[D]

I want to see real quick. 100, 1,000 without leather roofing, Nav. So average MMR, you know, I hit it too low off the gut. It's a 1819 truck. If they put 20 in it, they were trying to sell you something. I mean, they were over allowing a bit to sell you something. But that makes sense. I mean, if you're buying a house and selling a house, your real estate if you're getting a two car deal in one, you do a little moving the numbers around too, right?

[E]

Right, absolutely.

[D]

800, 800 radio. 800, 800 7234. My name is John Clay Wolf. Givemetheven.com Bob, quick out, anything.

[B]

We'll be back with more of the John Clay will show right after this word from givemethevin.com.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf show.

[B]

Mama said knock you out.

[D]

My old lady is going home for about a month to go live in Abaland.

[B]

Oh, she's going a year. I thought she would you keep her inside for that long?

[C]

God, that's crazy.

[B]

That's primitive.

[D]

She's taking the kids well and I'm gonna get bored.

[C]

Yep, hanging out, just relaxing.

[D]

Party time, you know, there's gonna be dancing around to abba and doing a.

[C]

Did they even play? What do they do over there?

[D]

They do those nightclubs, they stay up all night and go to the raves.

[C]

The raves? Yeah. I can see your wife at the raves.

[D]

Yeah, I don't think she raved much back when it was time to rave. Michael. A16Z06 with 9,000 miles leather navigation. What color is it?

[E]

Jello. With the ground effects on there too. Hey, before we go there real fast, I pulled up into a parking lot. A guy was screaming on a woman on the phone. But he had your show on.

[B]

Of course he did.

[E]

He said I've been waiting here for.

[D]

An hour and a half.

[E]

Jeff, where are you? Different word but your, your show is deadly on in the background. Where are you, Bruce Hard.

[D]

Okay. Down in south Louisiana. Cool. You know we're the go to spot for, for people like you and me that have nothing to do on a Saturday morning.

[E]

Actually, I, I've sent two people to you. You bought a two seater Jag from them and an Escalade. They were really happy.

[D]

Good, good, good, good. Is this vet a 1LZ or a 2LZ or, or a 3LZ? Do you know?

[E]

I believe it's a 3LZ. It's got it. I, I made the comment of screw me and it wanted to know what I wanted. Okay, yeah, got everything.

[D]

So you just walked in there just like, like a drunk in a whorehouse with a handful of hundred dollar bills. I'll take it all pretty much, yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And how many miles?

[E]

It's 9,9000.

[D]

We've driven a little bit.

[E]

Oh yeah, not a garage Queen.

[D]

It's a mid-60s car. I just need to. It really depends on the MSRP and the options, and I want to make sure that it is the 3LZ.

[E]

Yeah, it is. It's loaded.

[D]

I bought a 2LZ for 60. I bought a 2LZ For 62.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

And I bought another 2LZ for 63 this week. And if this one's a 3LZ with all the gear, I'll give a little more.

[E]

It's got all the gear, sticker tires and all that Good, wonderful stuff.

[D]

Load it up.

[E]

I'll send you a picture. I. I'll get it to you.

[D]

Thanks, man. Thank you. A guy was yelling at his wife, but he had our show on in the background.

[C]

Of course he did.

[D]

Of course he did.

[C]

I wonder with a cigarette in his mouth.

[D]

Steve, I don't want a 95 Silverado with 200.

[E]

Okay?

[D]

I got a piece of.

[B]

In a six pack of 90 lakh tall boys.

[D]

I'll give 500 for it. But I don't want to argue with him. I don't want to get called names. See, that, that, that's a situation like you shouldn't go to that part of town, right? You're just gonna get screamed at and.

[C]

Shot at and they gonna like you.

[D]

Nothing good's gonna come out of any of this. Do you have any sobs? Sure do. Oh, wow.

[F]

I'm sure he's wanting to hear this one right now.

[C]

Here we go.

[B]

In the spirit of being environmentally responsible, he only litters aluminum cans outside the city limits. He's convinced that the most important aspect of net neutrality is ensuring that no one has to pay for the good porn. He's never worn boxer shorts, but he sure thinks they look great on his daughter's best friend. He is the world's biggest son of a bitch. Hey, man, I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty light.

[D]

Tall boy. Yeah, but go to the John Clay Wolf show on Facebook.

[B]

He's a son of a.

[E]

He is.

[F]

You can follow him too, @jcwsob on Twitter.

[C]

But I was strangely turned on John.

[D]

Clay Wolf show on Facebook. And look at this photo that a listener sent me last night. And I just had to put it up. I mean, when I. When he added me as a friend and then showed this picture and I didn't, I just wrote immediately, I don't know you, but there's no question that you're one of our listeners. He had this picture of him in high school slamming a five gallon or three Gallon beer bong. The one that went all the way upstairs. Where your buddies filled it up upstairs, and you were downstairs. And he's all torqued down on this beer bong hose. And behind him there is a sign on the door.

[C]

Hilarious.

[D]

And what's the sign say?

[C]

If cops come, don't underline. Don't let them in. Please get Donnie or Sean.

[B]

That's so 1984, though, man.

[D]

He has a Q102. Best rock shirt on. 99. 4Runner with 180s. Worth a couple of bucks, Kevin. All depends on how nice it is. 1500 to 2 grand. You there, Kevin?

[E]

Yep.

[D]

About 2000.

[E]

Okay. For. For that. 99 full runner.

[D]

99 full runner with 180. Where do you live?

[E]

In Keller.

[D]

Yeah, we can. We have an office in Fort Worth at 30 in Camp Buoy. And we can come to you or you can come to us. If you bring it here today. I'll get you a check for right now if you have a title, Daddy.

[E]

Okay. And you guys sell vehicles as well.

[D]

You can actually shotgun down to Southwest bank and cash it before they close at noon. No, I don't sell anything. I'd rather get a case of the class.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

But I'll buy your forerunner. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800. Did Uncle Roy buy the. The 70,000 mile Cadillac?

[F]

Yeah, just getting cleaned up right now.

[D]

He's.

[F]

I think he takes it home this week. Monday.

[D]

So I did sell a car. Car to Uncle Roy.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

You know, that car got me in a lot of trouble with CarMax.

[C]

What?

[D]

Because that was. That was the one where they. The guy called in and I told him it was 500. And then they went to. He said, I'm going to carmax. And we beat the carmax offer. But. But I went too far. And I apologized to him. I told my. I have friends at CarMax. I said that. Run it. I was like, I'm so. I. I got into Johnny. I got into Johnny radio mode. Too heavy.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It happened. And when I got the Ripper representative on the air with me, that was.

[C]

That was. That was the line.

[D]

That was the line. This is the line.

[C]

Now we know I crossed it.

[D]

We've been dancing around the line for years. I've been doing business with those guys for 20 years.

[C]

You want to win and know it's.

[D]

Do you know how many cars I've bought from Carmax?

[C]

Oh, I can't even.

[D]

10,000.

[C]

10,000 go. When I tell people the kind of numbers you do every month, nobody go. What?

[D]

No, I Buy their car.

[C]

I know you buy their car.

[D]

I buy the cars.

[E]

That.

[C]

From them. I get it.

[F]

Well, they're this.

[D]

But see, that's why there's kind of a rub here.

[F]

Well, you could say anything you want about them, but when you do it in their house, it's a little bit different.

[D]

That's kind of what he said.

[F]

That's what it was.

[D]

But then he mentioned, yeah, yeah, it's all good. We're all friends. But, you know, at the end of the day, I used to be their customer.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And now I'm their competitor. Oh. So that's just the way it is. So we can be friends.

[C]

Sure.

[D]

And we can have friendly competition, or we cannot. I can go all out.

[C]

Yeah, it's best to have friendly.

[D]

I haven't gone all out.

[C]

No, I understand that. We don't want to see that.

[D]

I like friendly competition.

[C]

Yeah, that works for everybody. Everybody wins.

[F]

I mean, there's other competitors stealing our tagline of doing it in your underwear.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Really? Yeah. The underwear thing, that's pretty obvious.

[D]

Hey, one of my. One of my other friends is a competitor that we used to work with, and I still do a ton of business. Business with. Yeah, they're. They're sitting here plotting and planning, trying to knock us off completely and read, reverse engineer our whole product.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Bother you?

[D]

It's typical. Well, I just take it as compliment because they're a technology company and they're pioneers, but they're gonna rip me off from A to Z. I got you. That's fine. That doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he didn't pay me a real estate deal.

[C]

Wow. I'm sorry, Left field. I'm bringing up old habituals lowing inside.

[B]

How much do you think they might pay for doing the radio?

[D]

Oh, no, it's Jose Feliciano. Jose Feliciano?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Or is it Tony Romo's father? I can't tell the difference. Wait, take your glasses off. Oh, it's Tony Romo's father. It's not a blind federale.

[B]

My bad. No. Well, he is here.

[C]

Yeah, he's here too.

[B]

He was passed out until a minute ago.

[D]

Okay, you guys are just. What do you doing? Tony Romero. You were here earlier. Now you're back.

[B]

I was just thinking about the old days.

[C]

The old days?

[D]

Back in the old country.

[B]

You know, when you talk about I might and he yell at his wife.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's probably because of the guilty feel for the Mother's Day.

[C]

Oh, Mother's Day.

[B]

You know, it Is Mother's Day.

[C]

It's Mother's Day weekend. Sure is tomorrow.

[B]

And Antonio always have nice surprise for his poor mood.

[C]

I would think you go way above and beyond.

[D]

What is her name? What is his mother's name?

[B]

Camila Jubakovsky.

[D]

And where is. Where does she hail from?

[B]

She is German Polish.

[D]

German Polish. And this is why little Tony is so clumsy?

[B]

Yes, it's accident from our German.

[D]

Polish. Clumsy.

[B]

Very bad. He come to. Where did you meet her? Where should I meet him?

[C]

Yeah, I heard.

[B]

Seen the Navy?

[C]

No. You're in the Navy? In the Mexican.

[D]

Mexican? Oh, I didn't know.

[C]

United States.

[B]

I was stationed from San Diego, but we go at times towards Europe and the Mediterranean.

[C]

Speaking like this, you were in the US Navy?

[B]

I meet her in Czechoslovakia. The Horner. The Horner Czechoslovak.

[D]

What was she doing for a job at that time?

[B]

She was cooking the borscht.

[D]

Cooking the what?

[B]

Cooking the boost. But Tony always burned his mouth.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

On the boost.

[D]

Hey. Hey, I'm Antonio.

[B]

Sugar beets on the onion.

[D]

I have a. I have a Porsche I'd like to talk about on line three. I'm going to go to that real quick. Mike, where are you calling from?

[E]

Weatherford.

[D]

It's a Turbo 911.

[E]

Turbo 911.

[D]

I have.

[E]

I think it's a 964.

[D]

I had one of these the other day with three, no 1200 miles on it.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

I bet it was a 2011. It's a Turbo Porsche 911 cab, right?

[E]

Yep.

[D]

Cool. What's wrong with it? And I know nothing's wrong with it, but if we took it to the Porsche store and said find something wrong with it, what would they say? Because they love to dream about big bills.

[E]

No, I know they do. You know, nothing. Nothing. It's just had its 50,000mile service. It's. It's squared away, really clean.

[D]

Okay. Is it a. In that year in 2004, they did not make a turbo S. They made a C4S, but it's all wheel drive. Turbo cab.

[E]

That is. Is what color that is correct? Silver. Silver with black. Black leather.

[D]

Okay. Stick. They were all sticks back then, weren't they?

[E]

Yep.

[D]

PDK wasn't out yet.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Six.

[E]

Six speed.

[D]

You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

[B]

I'm.

[D]

I'm a mid-30s guy, see? Where exactly in that? I'm not sure, but that's the money.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

So. Yeah, that's Definitely the money. If you'll go to givemetheven.com, send me pictures, send me the VIN number, let me read the CARFAX history, let me read the auto check history off the VIN number, look at the pictures and I will email you a hard figure. I'm in Fort Worth, you're in Weatherford. So we can. Do you have a clear title?

[E]

Clear title.

[D]

Okay, so I can just give you a clear check. All right, thanks, man. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio hey, Dylan, Oklahoma. With this Porsche Cayman. Will you go to givemetheven.com and load it up too?

[E]

Do what?

[D]

Will you go to the website and load up this Porsche?

[E]

Actually, I'm driving. I am en route to a job so I can't do that right now.

[D]

You just do it off your phone. It's so easy. It takes five seconds. Take a couple pictures of it. When you get to where you're going, take a couple pictures of it and get the VIN number, load it up and we'll email you an offer letter.

[E]

Okay, thanks.

[D]

800-800-7234. Marty, good morning. Same thing. I've got so many guys. I want to buy these cars. I want to buy this 16 Yukon Denali with 47. But I can't take the time to do it on the air right now. Are you there?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[D]

Will you go to website for me and load it up so I can email you an offer letter?

[E]

You bet.

[D]

Actually, when you put this one in, it's going to fire you off a number immediately because it's under $50,000 and it's under 130, 15,000 miles. And my automation system will just bang it right then and tell you what my bid is.

[E]

Okay, thanks, dude.

[D]

800-800-7234. But the easiest way is just go to givemetheven.com same thing with you, Frank. This badass Dodge truck with a 6 inch lift. This is me, man. I'm redneck. I'm more redneck than you are. And it sounds like you're pretty redneck driving this. But I wanna, I wanna buy it, but I need to see the pictures. Load this thing up in the website. Okay? Okay. Hey, remember this, Frank. When it throws off the automated figure at you because it's gonna bid it automatically, it's wrong because it's not going to add in the 6 inch lift and the 37 inch tires and all that stuff. It doesn't know that. Okay, so. So basically I'm gonna come back and Give you another offer with the conversion atop of what the computer said. Make sense?

[E]

Okay. All right.

[D]

Thanks. Woo. I wouldn't. I was just directing traffic and you.

[C]

Were just moving along.

[D]

Just directing traffic. Black, white, Latino or other.

[C]

We could do that. Or we could do the top 10.

[D]

Also remember we need to do the top 10 right now. But Uncle Waldo at 10:35. Uncle Waldo, 20 years in out of retirement is going to be here.

[C]

It's kind of a character driven play.

[D]

Stevens and Pruitt, for those of y' all who are you don't know. Hang around for a minute. You'll see.

[C]

Good morning. How you doing? It's Mother's Day weekend. Weekend. And I know it's a big weekend for you, Johnny. So here it is. The top 10 worst Mother's Day gifts. Maybe you could get some hints here. You ready? Here come the top 10. There you go. A treadmill. Unless it's in a divorce settlement. Self help books like how to Be a Better Freakin Wife.

[E]

Number eight.

[C]

A Snuggie. You'll be snuggling yourself for a long time. A Dyson vacuum. No matter how much suction is, has anything from Victoria's Secret. Because that's how she got to be a mom in the first place. Number five, Botox. Nothing else need be said. A gift certificate to Jenny Craig. Bad idea. That velvet Dallas cowboy blanket you bought at the Texaco parking lot. A cruise for one or one way. The worst gift to possibly get your wife is what John has planned to give his wife. Nothing. There's your top 10 list of the worst mama's days.

[D]

Okay. That's what she really wants.

[C]

That's number number 11. Keep your feet in the ground. Keep reaching for the stars.

[B]

All right, baby, I'm home.

[C]

I'm fixing to give it to you. That's John's idea of foreplay. Brace yourself.

[D]

Brace yourself. Lock the goddamn door and turn the TV up. 800. 800 radio. Yeah, we buy cars on there. Give me the vid.com. we've got a lot of good stuff lined up. Coming up next.

[C]

Never mind what you've heard.

[D]

Hang on. I'm going to get me an analog girl who loves me for what I am.

[B]

You know it just ain't Saturday without the words Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up. Powered by GiveMeTheVin.com.

[D]

You know that only the good die. If there's one thing in the world I hate, it's freaking car dealers and car salesmen that lie Lie, lie. Go to givemetheven.com I fixed it all. I can do this. No hassle.

[F]

Easy, easy.

[D]

I'll buy your car online. You don't even have to look at me. You don't have to meet any of us. You shoot your VIN number in, we shoot you back an offer letter. If you take the offer, we shoot you the money and we pick up your car. It's all [e-mail]. no hassle, no catch. Smooth, smooth dealing 100% online.

[B]

Sell us your car, givemethevin.com so easy, you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call them toll free. 1, 800, 800 radio. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[D]

Homegrown festival in Dallas, Texas is today. And Tripping Daisy, this band is reuniting. They actually did a warm up show at Club Dotta in Dallas last Thursday night that I missed.

[F]

I heard the line was. Was around the block and then some. Yeah.

[C]

When was the last time they had an album out?

[D]

20 years ago.

[F]

Yeah, it's been a while.

[C]

And they got a line around the block.

[D]

I think that's the first time they've played in 20 years as Tripping Daisy.

[F]

Really?

[D]

Well, their guitarist OD'd years ago and that just whacked the whole thing out.

[C]

They just slow things down.

[F]

Tim's done some stuff. Lead singer, but yeah.

[D]

And you guys that hear our show every weekend, our warm up song, that weird song, our first intro song, and that's a Trippin Daisy trip track called Prick. And this is. This was off bill back in 91, something like that.

[F]

My Umbrella.

[D]

Yeah, my Umbrella. This was one of the big hits. They were an MTV van. They were the biggest band that ever came out of Dallas.

[B]

Who.

[D]

Who's a bigger band that came out? Boss Skaggs. If you say he came out of Dallas.

[B]

Edie Brickell.

[D]

No, I'm gonna say the biggest act that came out of Dallas was definitely Stevie Raybone.

[B]

What about David Allen Co. Stevie Ray Vaughan.

[D]

But he's a. He's an individual. Well in double trouble. Yeah, he's bigger than Tripping Daisy by far. But in the past 20 years, the biggest act that came in down is Tripping Daisy. Anyway, they're playing today. Kelly, what's her face. Kelly who?

[C]

Clarkson.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

She had him down.

[D]

If we're just going record sales, she way overdose. You're right, you're right, you're right. I'm just. I'm torn. It's a personal Favorite for me because I used to produce this band. We used to do concerts with him. Okay. So when I was a kid, back when I was a boy, back when I was a little kid, and what kind of got me into all this was listening to Stevens and Pruitt. I've heard people say, oh, legendary. You sound like Howard Stern. You think you're Howard Stern? No, I was probably more influenced by Stevenson Pruitt. And they were on the Eagle when I was a little kid and I was riding to work with my dad before I go to school at seven something. 7:20. They did uncle. Uncle Waldo. It was a little.

[C]

Yeah, a little fun. Little bit.

[D]

Jim's passed away. Stevens has passed away. Mark Stevens in Houston. They left Dallas and they went to Houston and they became Houston, came to.

[C]

Dallas, went back to Houston.

[D]

Radio gods of Houston.

[C]

Absolutely.

[D]

They were the biggest Houston's ever seen. And I was thinking we oughta. Because Tony Romo's dad's a big crowd pleaser on our show. And. And I think he's gonna die off. I mean, how many more Tony Romo.

[C]

Man, people are all in arms. Every time you say that, I get emails.

[D]

Please don't kill him. But, but 10. But, but a year from now, if we're still doing Tony Romo's dad's bits, I mean, well, it'd be like doing Troy Aikman's dad now. Who cares? We'll see. But I was like, we got to come up with a replacement for Tony Romo's dad. I was like, what if we bring back Uncle Waldo?

[C]

Yeah, that was a fun, fun, fun time in the morning.

[D]

So we wrote one and we are.

[C]

Going a little play. It's a little skit.

[D]

You'll see what it is. Most people are like, who the hell is Uncle Waldo and what is it? And there's many of y' all like, I can't believe, believe you're doing this. But understand one thing. I'm not ripping off Steve.

[C]

Doing it in honor of doing it.

[D]

Absolute honor of. Jim Pruitt was one of my favorite radio personalities and God rest his soul. So here is our first try at Uncle Walden.

[C]

Here we go. And now for all you fine art lovers, it's time for the Wolf show players to pull back the curtain and. And share a tale of Father o' Malley's little Catholic school bus. Our tale begins with Father o', Malley, an ordained priest type guy. Sorta. He's driving Sister Mary's fourth grade class down the interstate for a fun field trip.

[D]

Bless me days. But you precious little children of God are gonna have a fine old time at Six Flags today, don't you know? Oh, I can't wait to ride Mr. Freeze. Ooh, it makes me tummy tickle so gloriously.

[E]

Yay.

[C]

But just then, a drunken non believer, probably a damn Baptist, cuts into the little school bus's lane and crashes right into the side.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

And the little school bus one shoes over the edge of the highway and lands on its side in the Mighty Mart liquor store parking lot and bursts into flames. But then with the flames sort of come slowly, they just in the nick of time, Officer Ryan of the Texas Highway Patrol rolls up on the scene.

[B]

Kids in a burning bus.

[C]

I'll save you, our hero. Climb into the school bus. And rescues Sister Mary.

[D]

Oh, goodness gracious.

[G]

Help us.

[D]

Help us.

[C]

And Father o'.

[B]

Malley.

[D]

Bless you, my son. You're doing the Lord's work.

[C]

Now then, after two trips, Officer Ryan has carried out a total of six of the little fourth grader schools out of the harm's way. Yet he sits down exhausted and choking against the mighty March sign.

[D]

Oh, Officer, there's still three children trapped in the. Oh, please help them.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry, Sister, but look, it's an inferno in there. I almost died myself the second time I climbed into that hell on earth. And well, I'm sorry, but screw those other kids.

[C]

To which Father o' Malley replies, gladdy.

[D]

Me days, Officer, but do you really think there's time?

[C]

And that is the story of the little Catholic school bus. And the moral of which obviously is it's better to be burned to a Christ than diddled by the Irish.

[E]

Waldo.

[C]

And the little Catholic school bus.

[D]

That is in such terribly poor taste.

[C]

Oh, it was horrible. I can't believe we did it.

[D]

But that's what they did.

[C]

That's what they did. It was fun.

[E]

They did.

[D]

Terribly edgy, poor taste. And it was funny.

[B]

That's probably a true story.

[C]

That really happened. Just like that.

[D]

Well, well, there you go. Pruitt Stevens.

[F]

He's rolling around in his grave.

[D]

I hope you all think that was.

[C]

And they did all that with cart machines? Nothing digital.

[F]

That's the amazing part about it.

[C]

All their sound effects were all on carts.

[F]

Well, not even just that. They actually had horns and stuff in their studio.

[C]

All the stuff in the studio. I actually worked at that station when Stevenson, Pruitt, I. I worked overnights leading into their show. They were fun.

[B]

Who was the third guy?

[D]

Boner.

[B]

Boner. He was about half a Foley artist himself.

[C]

Oh, all they all had to be.

[B]

I mean, as far as making movie sounds and things.

[F]

Well, that's early radio.

[D]

That's what it was.

[C]

Yeah. People think all this stuff because now we have digital and you just push a button and you have all the applause and all the noise. Yeah, that back then, all that had to be on a little tape, a little tape player and had to req and that was funny.

[D]

Troy in Houston, a 13 Mitsubishi Land Sir Evo GSR with 50,000 miles at average, rough or clean condition.

[E]

It's. It's average.

[D]

Is it 17 grand?

[E]

Was it 17 grand? No, not quite.

[D]

What is it.

[E]

At least 25?

[D]

No, I mean it's too high. It's just off the money. It's just off the money. 8008-0072-3480-0800 Ranger. My name is john clay wolf and we will be back. Uno memento, por favor.

[B]

You know it just ain't Saturday without the wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John playwolf show coming up powered by givemetheven.com.

[D]

Doctor, doctor, give me the news. I got a bad case of love is with you.

[C]

No.

[D]

Nobody likes selling their car. It's easy. You can do it from your underwear. @giveme the vin.com we're not low ballers. We buy $100,000 cars, $20,000 truck. Giveme the dot com. You can do it straight from your mobile phone. We will email you an offer. We will come to you and pick it up. We'll pay off your payoff or give you a check. GiveMeThe Vin.com We Beat CarMax offers every time. If we don't beat your carmax offer, we're send you a check for $100.

[B]

Sell us your car. Givemethebin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

The john clay wolf show phone bill is currently paid so call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or online at givemethebin.com or.

[D]

Our ship show page. John claywolf.com Good morning, everyone. This is our last segment for three of the 16 cities that we're on in. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[F]

The clown, everybody.

[D]

Oh, it's crusty.

[C]

It's old zippy the clown.

[D]

Oh, I remember zippy the alcoholic clown.

[C]

Birthday party season. Sounds like it.

[B]

I've been drinking.

[C]

Are you booked? I've been drinking a quart of vodka.

[B]

Today for nine days.

[C]

You're ready for the all the prom.

[D]

Stephen, good morning, you're on the air.

[E]

Hey, even out of Richardson, North Dallas area. Yeah, we're talking about biggest and best fans to come out of Dallas. Y' all named obviously a lot of great ones. Y' all forgot about Pantera. I know they're in Arlington, but they blew up in Dallas, so that's close enough, man. So you gotta make rest in peace. Dimebag baby, Dimebag Darrell.

[F]

They're a great band, but we're talking about records sold. I mean, we said the Toadies would be the same thing, but they didn't sell a bunch of records.

[C]

Bowling for Soup out of Din. They're big, but as far as numbers. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hey, for the record, Bowling for Soup, we're out of Wichita Falls.

[C]

Yes, they claim Denton.

[F]

Yeah, they do claim.

[D]

And Bob, what is the truth? Because I've heard that twice.

[B]

No, they came out of with their Wichita Falls guys. They recorded in Denton. They got a record deal in Denton and since then the they.

[C]

They've claimed from Denton. Okay.

[D]

Johnny Cooper was the biggest act out of Witcha Falls in a little while. And I saw him playing it on the Border last week.

[C]

Did you really?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What's going on?

[C]

I told you my Eddie Money story.

[D]

Where was he?

[C]

Eddie Money.

[E]

I'm.

[C]

I'm at the. This is way after he's had all the hits. This is like mid-90s. I'm at the State Fair of Texas on a Wednesday afternoon and I hear this thing in the background. I go, wow, that's somebody really sounds like Eddie Money.

[D]

I walk up and it's Eddie Money.

[C]

On Wednesday in the middle of the day, like 2 o' clock on the, on the. One of the side stages.

[D]

The last time I saw Johnny Cooper, he was at Billy Bob's and it was one of those big, you know, when Billy Bob's Hard sells out. It's a good. And it was wall to wall pouring over.

[B]

He's an artist, man.

[D]

Now he's playing it on the border for Cinco de Mayo. It just, you know, you got to have a hit. You got to have a hit on the radio.

[C]

Well, look at the toady. Or who, who was it?

[D]

Toadies.

[C]

And the other one, Tripping Daisies. They haven't had a hit in 20 years, you said.

[D]

Yeah, but they haven't. Tripping Daisy hasn't been out in 20 years either. They broke up. They quit. And so today at Home Run Festival in Dallas is their reunion Takeaway Clothes. That's exactly what it is.

[E]

Ah.

[D]

A 12 Toyota Camry with 100 Debbie is it leather or cloth?

[E]

It is half leather and just a strip of cloth.

[D]

I understand. Does it have a sunroof?

[E]

Has a sunroof. It's eight grand navigation.

[D]

Eight grand. You there?

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm sorry.

[D]

8,000. 8,000.

[E]

He'll give you 8,000. Okay.

[D]

Did we buy a car?

[E]

I'll. I'll discuss it with my husband, then we'll get back with you.

[D]

Just load it in the gig. Givemethe vin.com. say, here's the car, John B. It at 8 grand on the air. Here's the pictures, here's the vin. If it's got a bad vehicle history, like a blown airbag or action on carfax, I'm gonna have to back it down.

[E]

No, it's not.

[D]

Okay. Thanks. There you go, Robert. An 06 expedition with 200's worth nothing to me, man.

[B]

All right, man.

[E]

I appreciate it. You have a good day.

[D]

Thank you, man. At least he took it one.

[C]

Well.

[D]

He did take it well. And Tim, Same thing on a 2000 expedition. It's so old. How many miles are on it?

[E]

89,000.

[D]

Ah, miles are nice, but the damn body style looks like 97.

[C]

That's old.

[D]

And if I bring it, it's just hard to sell. I mean, how nice is it on a scale of 1 to 10?

[E]

I'd say about a 7.

[D]

I may give a thousand for it if it's got 87 original. It's an Eddie Bauer is nice. If you'll take a thousand for it. Loaded into the website. Give me the vin.com. these old body styles, I mean, like a 99 or 95 Suburban, they're worth nothing. They're just worth nothing. If you're looking for a car that's almost free for your kid, buy them a 95 Tahoe.

[C]

So if they wreck it, it's no big deal. Oh, yeah. Teenagers.

[D]

The tow bill will be worth more than what the cars.

[C]

But they still run. Yeah, you got to get you around.

[D]

Works.

[C]

Yeah, that's it.

[D]

They run great.

[C]

You were just talking about a Mercedes 80s. That's 2500 bucks. The problem with that is if anything breaks, you're screwed.

[D]

What about the boat selling?

[C]

Speaking of selling your boat, I have. I have. I have offers. I have offers.

[D]

You offers on the boat?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

I got your email the other day.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And you gave me an option one and option.

[C]

Option one, Option two. Option one. Of course.

[D]

Fix everything and he'll give the X. X. And I said fix everything. Let's do that. Yeah. And did they say okay?

[C]

They've said yes on. On that.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

But I don't have them. I mean, until the things are fixed. And we're gonna go out on a boat ride. We're gonna say everything runs, and then they're gonna give us the money.

[D]

Boat ride? Have you already had them on one boat ride?

[C]

They have seen the boat. We have not been on a boat ride.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

The particular day they came out, I had an issue starting it.

[D]

It cost about 200 to go on a boat ride in fuel. So make sure.

[C]

Tell them I've taken out very few people. Well, actually, tell them.

[D]

Tell them to tell them you'll pay for half the gas.

[B]

There you go, old man.

[C]

My commission on this deal is getting cut into here badly.

[B]

J.D.

[D]

The boat salesman.

[C]

It's almost not worth it anymore. I think I've spent that in gasoline driving to the lake.

[D]

No kidding.

[E]

Time.

[C]

I've been out there 20 times.

[D]

Rush Limbaugh is on the ISDN. Good morning, Rush. Remember, go to give. Giveme the vin.com. if you'd like to sell your car. We will email you. And actually, the system.

[E]

System will.

[D]

Will quote you a price immediately on a range and then we will follow up with an exact figure.

[B]

Hello?

[D]

Hello, Russia?

[C]

Are you there?

[B]

I got the phone upside down.

[C]

Yeah, man, that's.

[B]

That's the kind of turmoil I'm facing in my life.

[C]

Is it bad? Has it been a bad week with the whole FBI thing for you?

[B]

Folks are just freaking out.

[C]

All over the country, people are freaking out. Firing and the big FBI guy. Speaking of that.

[E]

What? Look. What?

[B]

James Comey was by no means at this late date investigating the Trump administration. No. About Russian coercion.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

I think he was investigating. Was he investigating the reasons for Glenn Beck.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Firing that hot little piece of tail, Tommy. What's her name?

[C]

I don't believe the FBI was involved. Look, I know you.

[E]

I, I.

[B]

And since the days of Ann Coulter.

[E]

What?

[B]

I've come to love these little conservative heartbeats.

[C]

There's some cute ones. That's Tommy, who I know she was hot.

[B]

She starts.

[D]

She was a little angry little thing, a ball of hate.

[B]

Even on a Saturday evening.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

At 1am Three and a half percocets down.

[C]

You still.

[B]

She starts my engine right up going.

[C]

Good Lord, man, I know she's on your side.

[B]

She's the hottest woman on TV since Richie Cunningham's mother on Happy Days.

[C]

That's. I don't know that that was hot.

[E]

Do you remember?

[C]

I remember.

[B]

Something about a nice conservative mother of two. I got you remember the one where Joanie started smoking? Yes, when her mother never, never punished her for that. Anyway, Richie was a little eaten up.

[C]

About it, all right?

[B]

And I think that's the first episode.

[C]

Where Chachi got a little away from the FBI thing.

[B]

I'm just thinking about happy Days.

[C]

I guess you are the old happy days.

[B]

1, 2, 3 o', clock, 4 o'.

[G]

Clock, rock.

[B]

5, 6, 7 o'.

[E]

Clock.

[C]

You know the song how many bricks?

[E]

That's are you.

[C]

You had guess.

[B]

Oh, no, it's now 4:30 in the afternoon.

[C]

No, it's not. It's 10:56 Central Time. Yes a.m. yes a.m. good God, no.

[B]

I've already had seven. I better slow down. Maybe I should have some pudding.

[D]

Rush, lumbal has lost it. Well, Rush, thank you for join us.

[B]

Bring back Tommy.

[C]

Tommy who?

[D]

Tommy Kain or whatever her name is from the Glenn Beck Gotcha. God, she is a little ball of hate.

[C]

Oh God, she was hot. But man, she wasn't hot.

[B]

She's a piece of tail.

[D]

If you like women yelling at you, she's hot.

[C]

Well, you're just used to it. I'm not.

[D]

I'm very used to it. Kind of.

[C]

Kind of turns me on. Unless they're yelling like, you know, I'm calling the police. Which cabinet?

[D]

What is in the news? Any news before we go?

[C]

Well, let's see here. We can do. We can do.

[D]

We got a minute.

[C]

What do we have?

[F]

Do you have the black, white and Latino weather?

[C]

We don't have that. We have real or. We have real or fake headlines.

[D]

We have a minute.

[C]

Oh, we don't have time.

[D]

I think we have to drag it into the next segment.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Our number four is on deck on the EIB network. My name is John Clay Wolf. His name is J.D. ryan. Bobo is the one with all the good voices. Is internally runs the board, keeps it.

[B]

All steel guitar run that boy like a mug.

[D]

Do we have a son of a we can go out with?

[F]

Yes.

[D]

Play it. We'll see y' all next week. For the for Pennsylvania, Oklahoma City, Dallas in the Buzz. And everybody else, hang tight for hour number four. Coming up in the podcast. Remember the podcast? It is on John Claywolf dot com.

[B]

He's strictly a catch and release fish. Any catch that he doesn't eat gets released into his boss's toolbox. He doesn't blame Ozzy Osbourne for peeing on the Alamo. After all, it's really just a church. When he learned that the kids had gotten into his Hot Pockets, he shot six holes in his freezer and microwaved several of their favorite toys. He is the world's biggest son of a bitch. Hey, man, I don't know what drink beer, but when I do, make mine a natty light.

[D]

Tall boy. Yeah, buddy.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio show. This is the John Clay wolf show.

[D]

We got John Anderson in the studio this morning.

[C]

All the stars, man.

[D]

Hi, John.

[B]

Hey, y'. All. Take time to make sure you call.

[C]

Your mama Mother's day weekend.

[B]

Call them up. See how little ones do while you're on the road playing with girls.

[D]

John, I'll tell you something.

[B]

Hanging country music.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

When I was in fifth grade, I took. I had one of the. Remember Ricky Skaggs used to play one of those mini electrics?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I got. I. I got one of those for Christmas when I was in fourth grade or fifth grade and I took lessons at Mark's music in Joshua, Texas.

[B]

Can you play?

[D]

No. But the first song that I learned was the chord to this.

[C]

There's only three of them.

[B]

That's my song.

[D]

GC and something. GC and D. Hell, yeah.

[C]

D7.

[D]

I.

[E]

You.

[D]

You were the first guitar lick that I learned.

[B]

Yeah, Ricky's cags used to sing that song. I'm just a country boy. Yeah, he did sing it better than I could. He big that mandolin, too.

[D]

I just never really. I mean, I got about five quarts down, but I know. Never really got it good.

[B]

I've been working on a hip hop record.

[E]

Have you?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What are you gonna do with that?

[B]

Damn. Old Kanye got me.

[C]

You got you. Oh, he beat me on it, huh?

[B]

He got me not rapping so much, but just doing a little backup part.

[D]

All.

[B]

All the rap stars is Kanye featuring John Anderson.

[C]

I didn't. No idea. Yeah, this is coming out.

[D]

When is this coming out?

[B]

And I'm going to swing, swing, swing high, like a little Wayne style.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[D]

God, I can't wait till that comes out. Have y' all recorded it yet?

[B]

Black girls love it.

[C]

I do.

[B]

We record it several different ways.

[D]

When is it going to be released?

[B]

Even got little Bruno Mars.

[D]

Yeah, really.

[B]

To come out and do a jangling thing.

[D]

Hey, hey. Oh, is there any steel guitar Mars.

[B]

Bruno Mars on the melotron.

[D]

Melotron. And Kanye on the voice box.

[B]

I said a swing, swing.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

And Kanye talks. I don't know what the hell he's saying.

[D]

Well, thank you for joining us this morning, John Anderson.

[B]

Hey, keep on swinging, mothers. We love you.

[C]

All right, buddy. Good to see you.

[D]

03 Honda CRV with 35,000 rub average. Rougher. Clean.

[E]

It's pretty clean.

[D]

Sounds like is somebody. Did somebody pass away and leave this to you?

[E]

Well, it's my, it's my mother's car. She's the only owner and she can't drive anymore.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

She bought it new.

[D]

Is it leather? Cloth.

[E]

Cloth.

[D]

What color?

[E]

It's that light brown, tan type color.

[D]

We call that husk or medium husk.

[E]

Probably medium is kind of a lighter color.

[D]

Medium husk. Is that what it is?

[E]

Probably so. Yeah.

[D]

Okay. What is that? Wait, I want to make sure we're on the right color. Will you tell me, I mean one more time what the color is?

[E]

It's that kind of a light brown.

[D]

Okay. Medium husk.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And it's got 30,000 miles on it. Does three grand buy it?

[E]

It's got 30, 34,000 and just a little over. It's got almost 35000 original models on it.

[D]

Does 3,4000 buy it.

[E]

How much?

[D]

Three to four thousand.

[E]

I don't know. I like to talk to her about that one.

[D]

Okay, well that's where I'd be on it. And what, What? All I see is your area code. Where do you live? Where's the car?

[E]

It's Fayetteville, Arkansas area.

[D]

Okay, well we, we would send a driver up there. Yeah. Well, no, we have drop. Okay. Yeah, we have a drop off location. We'll FedEx the check and you can meet our guy up there and get the check and we'll pick up the car in the title.

[E]

All right, so I'll just let you know then.

[D]

Yeah, just go to givemetheven.com.

[E]

Okay, bye. Appreciate it.

[F]

John, there's a 90 chance that we don't get that car from Arkansas.

[D]

Why? They just, they are, they're just tough.

[F]

Son of a. Arkansas. I can't. I don't understand it.

[D]

I don't understand it either. I'll tell you the truth. I, I, I cancelled Arkansas. I gave him 30 days notice the other day.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, I said if y' all want to keep the show and Great, but I'm not running the ads up there anymore. They won't sell their stuff.

[C]

No, they don't sell.

[D]

No, I think they hate us cuz we're from Texas. I think it's old Southwest Conference problems.

[F]

Gosh, it might be.

[D]

I really do.

[C]

The Razorback, it's something.

[D]

We buy car, cars everywhere we go. Yeah, but in Arkansas we buy like one a week.

[C]

Really?

[F]

Yeah, it's not that they're not coming to the website.

[C]

They bail.

[F]

Oh, they just won't sell it.

[D]

Cuss. Oh, I. I think they. They'd sell it for less to someone that has an Arkansas a Razorback flag on their car than to us. I mean, yeah, it's weird. And I go to Arkansas. Odessa Manheim the. The. I have a buyer up in Fville at 66 or whatever it's called. Z35 auction. We buy cars at Arkansas every day. But I cannot buy them from the public. They will not sell them to us.

[C]

So it's just time to say oh well, oh well, oh well maybe next time.

[D]

So if, if the show comes off the air in Arkansas, then you know why? It's yalls fault. It's your own damn fault. You know, I'm not just going to sit here and entertain you for.

[C]

No, we can not for free. We don't do that.

[D]

That's right now. Witchita Falls, Amarillo, Abilene, Baton Rouge. All of south Louisiana. Lake Charles, New Orleans. Buying cars left and right. Doing a lot of business, obviously.

[C]

Sure.

[D]

Even in Pennsylvania where they should really hate us because we're Cowboys fans.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

If they can get over.

[C]

They love us. They whatever reason.

[F]

And we can buy cars from them.

[D]

Yeah, but we can't from Arkansas. Maybe we need to get a hill. BILLY CO host well, we got one. Bobbo Babo's here. What the hell's wrong, Bob? Have you ever spent any time in Arkansas? Arkansas?

[B]

Arkansas. You know I never did.

[D]

Well, maybe people have tried to get.

[B]

Me to go for years.

[D]

Should we do a special event with Bobo in Arkansas?

[C]

O a remote cuz you know they love him.

[B]

Yeah, cuz I'll go cuz I ain't scared, man. I like. I nearly went many times. I just didn't make it.

[C]

Didn't quite go. You know, that's the key.

[B]

I mean I headed that way, made it out just Shreveport and there I was.

[D]

That's as close to Arkansas as you got, huh? Yeah, you were about an hour out. 45 minutes.

[B]

An hour and $240.

[D]

Down in Texarkana we buy cars all the time on the Texas side of the line and the Arkansas can't get anything done. I don't know.

[B]

Pretty girls in Arkansas they say Tim.

[D]

Where are you from? Arkansas?

[E]

No sir.

[D]

Okay, where are you? Where you be?

[E]

I'll be on the south side. H town Houston.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yes, sir.

[D]

H town. So what about the Rockets? Are you Rockets fan? Yes, I'm sad. I mean I really. Yeah, it was. It Was. It was a blow out there at the end. I mean, it reminded me of the Rangers last games last season, Game 3.

[B]

They really were peaking.

[D]

But what you can hang your hat on, Tim Lens is that your Astros are the number one team in the United States of America at this time.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[D]

And the Cubbies don't have that record right now. I looked last night. They're not kicking it. So the Afros are going to take it all the way, it sounds like.

[F]

Are you saying that right now they're going to win the World Series? You make that bold prediction?

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Just jinx them.

[D]

Nah, nah, they'll be fine.

[B]

From a strictly sports point of view, forget the Rangers.

[D]

The Rangers aren't even.

[F]

I mean, they're coming back a little bit, but.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Well, now watch out for them Yankees.

[B]

Now they're getting some bats. It doesn't hurt, you know.

[D]

Hey, this Kia Sorento, is it a two wheel drive or an all wheel drive?

[E]

Two wheel drive.

[D]

So it's a four cylinder?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Do you know if it's an EX or an lx?

[E]

Lx?

[D]

I don't even know what the difference is on the Kia Sorento between EX and lx. I do. On Honda, I don't either because they're, you know. With Hondas, if it's an ex, it's a sunroof. Does this car have a sunroof?

[E]

No, sir.

[D]

Okay. And it's got 111, 000 miles on it. On a scale of one to ten, how nice is it?

[E]

I'd say probably seven.

[D]

I'm a six grand buyer. Okay, go to givemetheven.com, load it up and we'll buy it. Thanks. If you're from Arkansas and you want to argue, please call in now. 800-872-3,4. We need to hear why we suck so bad, right? Yeah.

[F]

Why?

[D]

Why can't we buy your car? Why can we stand? Why will you trade them into the auctions and then I go and buy them from the dealers that you traded them in from and they make money on me but I can't buy them from you directly?

[E]

I don't know.

[D]

I don't know. Saababo is heading to his daughter's graduation.

[C]

Graduation? Big weekend for graduation.

[F]

Unt.

[D]

Hey, I'm going to.

[F]

Screaming.

[D]

I want to tell you a story.

[C]

I just thought you were upset.

[D]

Go ahead. Absolutely. Sadness.

[C]

Oh, sad.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Way to bring the show down.

[D]

I didn't want to mention it on, on the Dallas air because the parents are, you know, they may Be listening.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

And their friends. Yeah. This is going to be such a bummer, dude. So my wife, she's baby crazy. I don't know if you know that.

[C]

Currently.

[F]

Always.

[D]

Again, she's not pregnant.

[C]

Oh, well. But she's baby crazy.

[E]

Absolutely.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, she would. She would knock me in the head and drag me. Me across the state of Arizona to have a little girl.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

Oh, I see. Cuz you got all boys.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So my son's teacher, she became good friends with him. 25 year old teacher. Not him, her.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

And she had a little girl. So my wife's been caring for this little girl. Infant loves infants. Sure. She's got this little girl and she's taking care of her all the time. And she's like, the teacher's wanting to pay her. She's like, no, no, heck no. I'd pay you.

[C]

I'd do it for free.

[D]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So this goes on for a while. And I think the little girl's five years old now. I mean, five. Five months months old.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Last week I come to the house, I come home and. And the parents are coming to pick her up. We'd had her all day.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I said we.

[C]

I didn't. Your mother, I mean, your wife.

[D]

Yeah. So I'm going to Louisiana to go buy cars last week, and I don't get an hour down the road and she sends me a text and says, I need to talk to you now. Something terrible's happened. So. So I don't know if the baby was going to come to our house that day or not, but she went to the caretaker where the. Her brother goes also.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

And she died.

[C]

The baby.

[D]

The baby died. The baby died.

[C]

We don't know why.

[D]

Just died.

[C]

Just died.

[D]

Just died.

[C]

Sids.

[D]

Don't know.

[C]

Don't know. Okay. Yeah, that's. That's a big one. That's a. That's a real downer.

[D]

I mean, my wife is beside herself.

[C]

Yeah. Especially if she's been saying. Yeah, she did the whole mother bond bonding thing. Yeah. She's been taking care of the baby. That's as well.

[D]

Went to take a nap. Let's go there.

[C]

Yeah. Sids, it's five months old.

[D]

Isn't that outside of the window?

[C]

No, it's not. No. Nothing. Yeah.

[D]

Sids, you know, I saw her. I said, what if this would have happened on our watch? Oh, oh, really? Oh, what if this would have happened on our watch?

[C]

She'd be. I'm inconsolable.

[D]

Inconsolable.

[C]

There'd be, she's almost inconsolable. Yeah. You'd have to go off, off the road for a while. You'd have to.

[D]

I don't know if, you know, I, I, I've looked for it in the p. You know that I always, I figured that would make the news.

[C]

It does.

[D]

She said this happens more often than you think.

[C]

Then you think. Right. It does. It. Unfortunately, I have a friend who works in the funeral industry and it happens quite often.

[F]

Really?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

There's a service on Monday and they said everybody wears pink and white. No black.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But, yeah, I mean, I don't, I just can't, I can't. I need to go to support her.

[C]

Gotta be there. You have to be there.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yes. For your wife. Absolutely.

[D]

I can't think of a more downer environment.

[C]

Nope. But you're gonna have to. There's nothing fun about it. There's no happy times.

[D]

How do you bury a baby?

[C]

Yeah. Again, you'd be surprised. They make caskets that size for a reason and they have a lot of them. But it happens so much that you don't really. It's not newsworthy. It doesn't happen thousands, but there's a reason. They have a call of syndrome.

[F]

Yeah, I can't, I'm, Yeah, I can't imagine the ceremony because usually there's memories and stuff that you're going over with.

[C]

About that person, but nothing happy about that.

[F]

No, I mean, that's just.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Hey, all right. Segment. Yeah. There's, there's, should we just quit and call it a day?

[E]

No.

[D]

Yeah. That's pretty tough. So that's been on the mind.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

But yeah, every time I leave something, it's not every time I leave, but whenever something wild happens, it's when I'm on my, out on my road bike.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But the, the odds are good. You're almost gone a lot. You travel all the time to buy cars.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

People ask, keep asking me why I'm selling the boat for you. It's like, because he's never here. He's not in town.

[F]

Well, you ain't selling anything really.

[C]

I am too. I've gone, I've been out there 20, many freaking times. Don't start with me.

[D]

So the people that want to buy it, where are they from?

[C]

They're Dallas. Fort Worth. Nice couple. They've been on the boat. They have not been out on the boat, but they, they're ready to, they're ready to buy. And I've got people, I got another guy in Arkansas I've got another guy in south.

[D]

The Arkansas guy's gonna do nothing. Give up on him.

[C]

Give up on him.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

I got a guy in Austin. I got two. They're out of state. I can't remember where they're from. And I've got. I've got like seven people that are interested. They're ready to go.

[F]

But are they gonna actually, actually come and.

[C]

Listen, this girl, this, this couple is buying. So this time next week, the boat will be sold unless something magical crazy happens. Like they just. They. They have the money, they're ready to go.

[D]

I got a lot of money in that boat. I looked it up the other day. Between.

[C]

Oh, you don't want to do that.

[D]

Between maintenance and slip and moving it from. From Lake Conroe to England Mountain.

[C]

No, that's like me looking at my bar tab after I went to rehab. You don't want to look at that number.

[D]

Yeah, I've got.

[C]

It was expensive, I know, but it's fun.

[D]

You've had a good time.

[C]

The family loved it.

[D]

When people come in to give me the vent with a boat, I'm like, nope, nope. What will you give me for a Bassmaster?

[E]

Nope, nope.

[C]

Been there, done that.

[D]

Don't want it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Hey, Robert. An 06 Trailblazer with 180. It all depends on how nice it is. The miles are huge. Huge, huge.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

How. How nice is it?

[E]

What was that?

[D]

How nice is it?

[E]

It's in condition. It's got the SS written on the headrest. It's got a sunroof, two wheel drive. It's all white. The passenger door has a ripple. No, not a ripple, but like a somebody. Like somebody like sideswipe me. So it's just one. Straight, straight.

[D]

What's it take to buy it?

[E]

Well, I was interested to see how much it was worth.

[D]

I think it's worth three grand. Four grand.

[E]

Three grand or four grand? Okay. Okay.

[D]

Does that buy it?

[E]

Yeah, that's all. No, I was. I was hoping I could get maybe like six out of it.

[D]

7. Where are you from? From Houston.

[E]

Oh, actually Pasadena. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, the miles are too tall. They're just go ahead and go to Give me the VIN.com. load it up and get. Let me look at the pictures. Pull the VIN and get recalibrated on. The ones I've bought are like 14, 15, 16 gram with good miles and perfect. The miles on this are so high, I'm scared of it. So maybe I'll get up a little bit. Go, go to the website, load it up right on there. Say take six grand to buy it. Let's just cut to the chase and we'll make a decision. Okay? Thanks, man.

[C]

And do it in a hurry.

[D]

The police are after you, Carlos. Good morning. Where you calling from?

[E]

Hey, I'm from Morris, Texas.

[D]

Morris, Texas.

[E]

Orange, Southeast Texas on the state line of Texas and Louisiana.

[D]

No, I know exactly where it is. Perfect.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

15 Toyota Corolla S with 35. What color?

[E]

That's right. Silver.

[D]

All righty. Average. Rough or clean?

[E]

Oh, it's very clean.

[D]

Is it a premium? Is it leather, sunroof, Anything like.

[E]

It's. It's both. It's. It's a. It's the bucket seat. It's leather on the sides and. And the. Where you're sitting on it. And your back is the. The Mech.

[D]

Yeah, it's 11 and a half.

[E]

11 and a half.

[D]

11, 11, 5. Yep. With a clean Carfax.

[E]

Oo. That hurt. Oh.

[D]

Oh, it's a Toyota. It's a little one. It's a. It's a. It's a roller skate, man. It's a pull start. It ain't. It ain't a. It just is what it is, is.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

[C]

All right, man.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

All righty, man. Thanks. Uhhuh.

[D]

Give me the vin.com or gowolf.com we got three seconds left, and we'll be back with more.

[C]

More fun.

[B]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Play Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethe.vin.com.

[D]

Customers always say, I don't need the money. I understand most of my customers don't need the money, but they want the most money. And that's why they're coming to [e-mail]. this isn't some title max pawn shop deal. This is hard money, dealer money. The real, real world. My name is John Clay Wolfe. Give me your VIN number, push a couple of pictures, and I'll reply with an offer. GiveMeTheEven.com fast, easy, hard money right now. No BS sell us your car.

[B]

GiveMeTheVin.com so easy, you can do it in your underwear.

[A]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Call them toll free. 1, 800, 800 radio. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay wolf show.

[D]

This is a good tune. I hadn't heard this in a while. This is the country hour. It's the country hour.

[C]

Country, country hour.

[D]

Collijah, Hank Williams. You know what this is?

[C]

Yep.

[E]

There you go.

[D]

We'll just sit and listen to this.

[C]

Good, though.

[D]

Philip, Good morning. You're there.

[E]

Hey, good morning.

[D]

How are y'?

[E]

All?

[B]

Good.

[D]

Where you calling from?

[E]

I'm calling from Jersey Village.

[D]

I know where that is. F150 EcoBoost XLT. No leather?

[E]

No leather. Texas edition.

[D]

All right. Which wheels have the big pretty wheels on it?

[E]

So I think it has the lariat rims on it.

[D]

Good. And it's a 35 EcoBoost, right?

[E]

It is. Yes, sir.

[D]

Okay. Average, rough or clean?

[E]

Very clean.

[D]

What's your payoff?

[E]

About 7,000.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

You're good.

[D]

People. I don't ask that so I can try to steal your car. The. The payoff has nothing to do with the value, but if you know.

[E]

No, I understand.

[D]

Lot of people are tanked.

[C]

Bad.

[D]

It's not their fault. It's just what happened. And when they're. When they're bad. Upside down. I hate telling them. I hate being the bearer of bad news.

[C]

Kill the messenger.

[D]

Yeah. I think it's a $15,000 rig.

[E]

15?

[D]

Yep.

[E]

All right, man. I appreciate it. I'm going to go ahead and submit some pictures to your website.

[D]

Perfect. Let's get it bought. Let's get it. Let's. I'll write you a check for the equity and go make your payoff. You and come pick it up.

[C]

Damn.

[E]

For my man. I appreciate it.

[D]

Thanks again.

[E]

Carl.

[D]

Where are you calling from?

[E]

I'm calling from Manville, Texas.

[D]

Manville, Texas. Where is that? I see that in our computer system a lot.

[E]

Where's man, it just. It's just south of Houston. South of Fairland.

[D]

Okay. Are you a first time listener?

[E]

No. Oh. No. I've talked to you a couple times.

[D]

16 duramax. Do you own this truck or are you just looking at one?

[E]

No, I own it.

[D]

Okay. And it's a. It's a. Is it a Dually?

[E]

No, it's a three quarter ton, four wheel drive, short bed, four door.

[D]

Which trim level?

[E]

Ltz.

[D]

Okay. Does it have a sunroof?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

What color?

[E]

Charcoal gray.

[D]

It does have a roof. Okay.

[E]

I put a leveling kit on it. Got bigger tires on it.

[D]

It's 50 grand.

[E]

50? I thought. I was thinking right about there. Yeah. I might load it up.

[D]

Well, now I've scared you. You know, normal. Normally when. When I tell somebody what they're thinking, they get all scared and like.

[G]

No.

[D]

Run off.

[C]

That's where I was.

[D]

Look, look. Look at Junior. He. He just jumped the fence. He's still running. J.D. get your long range Rifle out and shoot the sun bitch. I got him before he gets away. Yeah, I'll give 50 grand. It needs a clean carfax. Go load it up in the website. Say John said 50 grand on the air.

[F]

And.

[D]

And I want my 50 grand. Where's my. Where's my damn money?

[E]

Bring me my cash money at, baby.

[D]

Thank you. All right, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking I kind of hit that car kind of hard. We'll see. Put too much in one. Let's see if it sticks.

[C]

There you go. It's been a good week. What's some cool. What's a cool car of the week? Do you have one?

[D]

I wish you'd give me a warm up on that before we go.

[C]

Oh, my bad. Okay.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

We can go with real or fake news if you'd rather do that.

[D]

I'll think of the cool car of the week.

[C]

All right, here's three headlines. One of these, unlike last week where the were all real, one of these is real. The other two are totally made up. Ready? You get to decide. Is it. Number one. In Colorado, Hunter claims he was assaulted sexually by a Sasquatch. Number two, Mississippi lawmakers vote to bring back firing squads for execution. And number three, death row inmate eats an entire Bible as his last meal. One of those is real. The other two are not so real.

[F]

Sasquatch.

[D]

Come on. Sasquatch is real. No, no, but see, here's what you got to take into consideration. Hunter claims.

[C]

Hunter claims. So did it from Colorado?

[D]

Did the act occur? We. That's not the real.

[F]

It could have been high.

[C]

Colorado. In Colorado, he was sexually assaulted by. That's why I had the Colorado part. To sort of leave that in there. In Mississippi, lawmakers vote to bring back firing squads for execution method. And number three, death row inmates eats an entire Bible as his last meal. They ask you what you want for your.

[D]

I'm one. What are you turning three?

[F]

The Bible.

[C]

Think the Bible.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

The real one is. Mississippi lawmakers vote to bring back the firing squads.

[F]

Wow.

[D]

That reminds me of S Town. The S Town podcast. Turley, are you familiar with this? No. It's an NPR deal.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Serial is a podcast they put together in this American Life. And they just released about two months ago a podcast called S Town. I highly suggest it. It's a podcast, especially if you're from the South. Okay, it. Wait, it's a podcast. It's not a podcast. It's a recording on a website. There's seven chapters.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

It's A story. It's not.

[F]

Is it a book?

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

Basically. But it's not a book. So real quick, NPR reporter that did these other cool podcasts that were very successful festival in New York gets a call from a guy in Craptown, Alabama. That's why it's called S Town.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

This little S Town, Crap town in its Woodstock, Alabama. And he calls this reporter and says, hey, there was a murder in my town. Okay. The rich family that owns the lumberyard, his son killed another kid at a party and it got swept under the rug and you need to expose it. They come down and the rest is history. And it was. It's an amazing story. I'm only six hours. I'm six hours through it. I've got one chapter left. But it is the number one downloaded. Yes.

[C]

If you just put in S Dash Town in Google, it comes right up.

[D]

And then chapter one, you start playing it. Yes. Chapter one. When an antique clock breaks a clock that's been telling time for two. Yeah. So it just starts reading.

[C]

It starts to play. Yeah.

[D]

Well, he's telling the story, but then he goes to live cuts. But the, the character. It's all about the guy that called is what happened.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And he is. Oh. So it's.

[F]

It's the mpa, NPR News, just in long form. Because that's great about NBA npr, Right? How they do their storytelling. In fact, you do a lot of that in your road tripping.

[D]

Yeah, they.

[F]

Great.

[D]

I love it. They did great production in this. Yeah.

[B]

Listen to this.

[D]

He cuts to the live. But this. This very eccentric hillbilly. Ish. He's the Boo Radley of S Town, Alabama.

[C]

Gotcha. Okay.

[D]

And what happens with him? And he's. He's borderline homosexual.

[B]

And he.

[D]

It's. It's. How long is it? Seven hours.

[F]

A lot of production work.

[D]

50 million downloads in the past six weeks.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. It's breaking.

[C]

What am I doing wrong?

[D]

It's the Breaking Bad. It's the Breaking bad of radio, of Internet radio.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

Well, they do a lot of stories, but this one's a good one.

[F]

No, it's just saying because of the story.

[D]

The story is so damn good.

[F]

TV show made out of it.

[D]

Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Anyway, that's. That's. If you want to.

[C]

If you're.

[D]

If you're a road tripper, if you're on the road doing this and that. I mean, besides listening to our podcast, which everybody should do, I just.

[C]

I love radio drama like that and radio stories.

[D]

They did a good job. Now I want to go listen to cereal when I'm done with this one. But I had a roommate in college that was like this. He was from a small town in Oklahoma and he was high iq, but yeah, he was wild and had these wild theories. And when you talked about the firing line in Mississippi.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

This character in S Town, his. He feels like the United States is going to break up into four segments.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

One of those guys.

[D]

And. And that. Yeah, he's one of those guys. And that humanity's going to fail and. And greed is going to take over and public executions are going to come back.

[C]

Gotcha. It's a Denzel Washington movie in the future. I got you.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Pretty good though.

[C]

That sounds cool. I can't wait to hear it.

[D]

800-870.

[C]

Listen to the John Clay Wolf podcast.

[D]

Sure, of course. I mean, how could you. How could you make it without.

[C]

I mean, after our wonderful show this morning, as well as. What was it? The Stevenson Pruitt.

[D]

That was fun.

[C]

That really was fun.

[D]

Bubba did a good job in writing that. However, it was. Boy, it was. It was edgy.

[C]

It was edgy. It was edgy. But it was softer than they would have done it.

[D]

Really.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Stevenson Pruitt, dude. Like the things they got away with back then.

[E]

I.

[C]

It was before people knew they could pick up the phone and make a difference at a radio station. They just thought radio was a product and you couldn't complain about it. The whole FCC thing and Janet Jackson, it just changed the way people listen to media. Now they know they can pick up the phone and then get on Facebook and they can make a difference and. And they can get you and be in trouble. In the old days, they. No one thought of that. Nobody thought to call the radio station, get somebody in trouble. Well, they just listen. You didn't listen.

[F]

Sometimes it's worth it. Like that story in Arizona, getting that radio station in trouble.

[C]

Oh yeah, I got a story in Arizona.

[D]

This is.

[C]

Boy, this is unbelievable. You know, small market stations especially run public service announcements. You know, they'll be for anything today.

[D]

At the elementary school.

[C]

Right. Or, you know, don't mess with Texas. And they're filler for small radio stations.

[D]

Chicken fried steak fingers.

[E]

Right.

[C]

And they just run and they run and they run. Well, in the past two years, a radio station in small Arizona town has been playing a public service announcement. I believe Michael has the audio here and it tells. Do you want to run the audio first or tell them what it's about?

[F]

This is. Recorded it from actual radio this is.

[C]

A small town in Arizona.

[E]

Yes, in many cases, the penalty for possession of pictures is worse than the penalty for murder. You should understand that your Internet provider could report you to the police if they catch you looking at a website featuring naked juveniles. The police then enter your house and seize your computer. If you have such material, you can save yourself and your family a ton of grief and save the the taxpayers of Arizona a lot of money by never storing such pictures on the hard.

[B]

Drive of your computer.

[E]

Always use an external drive and hide it where nobody will ever find it. Likewise, never keep paper pictures, tapes or films of naked juveniles where anyone else can find them.

[B]

A public service message from the cave.

[E]

977 FM.

[B]

Shut up.

[C]

That's an absolutely true story. Played for two years. Been playing for two years. Nobody noticed it. They brought. Played it after midnight. It's a public service announcement telling you how to hide child porn and not get caught.

[D]

So what happened?

[B]

And the man.

[C]

Well, basically they. Somebody finally heard it and called and got the guy to take it off the air. But his point is, he says, well, I'm not interested in that. I don't have any of that. I just wanted to let you know that it's serious and here's a way to keep, you know, out of jail, Make meth and not get caught. I mean, dude, seriously, the guy's nuts.

[D]

He goes, well, I mean, I'm sure the feds went right at his house and got us.

[C]

I'm sure they did. And he's probably hidden anyway.

[D]

It's like. It's like our dope report. It's a joke with his Bob. Absolutely.

[C]

It was created by the station owner and operator, Paul Lots.

[D]

Off course.

[C]

It was K A, V V in Benson, Arizona.

[D]

Arizona.

[C]

Little. It aired after midnight and it was uphill. It ran for two years. Nobody said anything.

[F]

And this radio station is literally in a mobile home and had a big tower.

[C]

Next. Oh, yeah, Turley.

[D]

We started on a radio station that was in a mobile home.

[C]

Did you really?

[D]

Well, it was in a. It was in a building. KSEY and Seymour. We actually started on the Outlaw in Wichita Falls, but then the noon show. We bought this little AM station, flipped it from Mexican Tex Mex to espn. And the. The owner of the station, Mark, lived in a mobile home right next to it. He lived there. He never ever left. Piles of beer cans everywhere. And dogs. Dogs, yeah. And he was all about the FCC regs and the public file. And he. It was it. You do your Texas road trip. You ought to go see Mark. If he's still alive?

[C]

Well, yeah, he actually. My. My show aired on that station before they took it off.

[D]

Oh, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't believe it. No, it was. It was.

[C]

That's why I can't get him to respond to my email.

[D]

It's s town, Texas. I have no idea if Mark's still live or not.

[C]

Oh, that's funny.

[D]

But he was. He used to call me after the new show and give me pointers and he was all into us and said, yeah, you're a great copywriter and you need to do this. That.

[C]

He's a radio guy.

[D]

He's a radio guy. We'll be back in just a minute. My name is John Clay wolf and yes, I buy cars on the radio or easy or at. Give me the vinvi.com.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

With nobody else.

[B]

You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.

[E]

I take a chance unlocking.

[D]

@Givemethevin.Com. i'm not going to bore you with a bunch of questions. I need the vin number, I need a couple of pictures, I need the miles and whammo. There's your offer. I buy cars, hundreds per [e-mail]. not a bunch of junk cars. I mean real cars. Trucks, vets, Ferraris, whatever. Lexuses, I mean, everything from 2 grand to 200 grand. I'm the best buyer in all of Texas.

[B]

Tell us your car.

[D]

Now.

[A]

Back to the John Clay wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay wolf show.

[D]

Charlie, how long have you been married?

[F]

Wow. Was it 18 years now?

[C]

Really?

[F]

Or seven?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

17. No, 17.

[D]

You know, I don't understand women.

[C]

Just stop right there.

[D]

There. They order their food and they always wonder why their order's all jacked up.

[C]

Yeah. Where you going with this?

[D]

You know, I want this substitute that run down the street and get me some special ingredient for my burrito. And. Oh, no, they mess it up again. Does your wife do that? They take the menu and bust it apart.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And then they want a special one.

[F]

I kind of more do that.

[D]

She does? Yeah. She always gets pissed. Why you?

[F]

Why. Why do you do this?

[C]

Woman or man? I think that individual.

[D]

God almighty.

[C]

What do you mean? So she orders specific things and then it doesn't come out right.

[D]

It just. Yes. Yeah. They mess my order up again. Well, of course they did. Well, because you keep changing their menu.

[C]

Just order like it is.

[D]

They did this, they did this yard sale last weekend.

[F]

Oh, how'd that go, by the way?

[D]

Yeah, it was like Joshua, Texas. It was okay. I mean, if they'd had crystal meth for sale, they'd have done a lot of business.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Did they get rid of everything?

[D]

Well, they were just selling some nice stuff in an area that's not very high demographic. S town. Texas doesn't really pay much attention to Neiman Marcus tags.

[C]

Yeah, she's got a lot of really nice stuff. I mean, but.

[D]

Yeah, no, she sold them. She sold. It was a success. But she only sold about 20 of the stuff.

[C]

You can do it again.

[D]

But she got like $2,500.

[E]

Damn.

[D]

On two and three dollar items, that tells you how much. That's a lot of stuff, man.

[C]

That's a lot of stuff.

[D]

It's ridiculous.

[C]

So these are items that cost 1500?

[D]

Well, she gets good deals. She, you know what she did for the longest time is buy them out of the stores here when they're on stupid discount and then sell them online in Europe. And that was her business.

[C]

Including shipping. That's still.

[D]

You still make money, but you did for a long time. But now the shipping's gone up, up and up and up and up where? And now, now you don't. So she's got a lot of leftover inventory.

[C]

Gotcha.

[D]

All the two and three, four dollar stuff was. All of our kids still do it.

[C]

Here on ebay and locally.

[D]

Yeah, but you can't go to but TJ Maxx and buy a polo shirt for $11 and sell on eBay for 20. Okay. You just can't because many people will just go, TJ Maxx.

[C]

I'm just saying whatever she's got in stock, she could sell. This is true, for more than two bucks.

[D]

This is true. This is true. Well, offer up stuff like that.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

The husband of the other wife was. He has a. He has an in house picture of shiner, keg of shinerbach.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

Which we were enjoying, by the way. And he, he made the crystal meth comment. He said if they had crystal meth out here, maybe that they'd be sold out.

[C]

We'd have to hire a cop for traffic.

[D]

He's from the town next door and he hates the town he lives in. Why? Just because of like the old high school rivalries.

[C]

Oh, geez.

[D]

It's funny. Joshua, he's from Cleburne and he's always bitching about Joshua. It's quite, quite kind of humorous. Quite humorous.

[C]

Small town politics A couple of fun news stories. You want to hear this one? Yes, this is a real. I was going to do this on Real or fake, but it's real. Man admits to duping women into sex for porn rehearsals. A Kansas City man has pleaded guilty to duping dozens of women into having sex with him on camera by telling them they were rehearsing for roles in a pornographic movie. And then of course not pay them dozens. 34 year old Mario Antonio of Raymore pleaded guilty. 1. No Raymore, Missouri. Okay, one count of wire fraud.

[D]

10.

[C]

Sentenced to 10 years for doing this.

[D]

What did he do wrong?

[C]

Basically. I mean, hold on, let me figure out.

[D]

Yeah. What if he pushed it to the Internet?

[C]

Then it's a pornomy created online. Well, basically you. He lied about what he was doing. It's fraud. If you say you're gonna do one thing and do something else, it's called fraud.

[D]

Okay, so if we want to get a band together, right? And I'm like JD and Bob O and Turley, we're gonna submit this and we're gonna try to get a record deal.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They all sign the this release and we're going to work on this. Okay, Sounds like what I mean.

[C]

So if you don't have a real record deal, if there's no. If there's no intention of ever going and doing this because he.

[D]

I mean, as you can tell, I'm on his side.

[C]

Yeah, you are. He had fictitious companies and. And that. He said they were porn companies. He made up this big scenario and none of it was real. He was just trying to get sex.

[F]

So he never really tried to sell it?

[C]

No, never tried to sell it. Just videotaped it for his own thing and then.

[D]

Sounds like a hell of a salesman though.

[C]

Anyway. God, I can believe you're on his side. Dozens.

[D]

Dozens. Do we have songs?

[C]

No, we don't. Speaking of selling sex and a story resembling. Remember the song, the Pina Colada song?

[D]

Sure.

[C]

Okay, well, this one is out of Katy, Texas, believe it or not, down near Houston.

[D]

Let me guess, guy buys a prostitute, she shows up and it's his old lady.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Why?

[F]

No, it's like. What?

[D]

Oh, actually it's funny because they both met on an online ad. It was him and his wife that met each other.

[C]

He goes to the website and this says a 28 year old girl. And the picture is only on her back from her neck down. And he comes attracted to her, she shows up. It's not a 28 year old, it's his 49 year old wife.

[D]

Do they like each other? Do they dance to p. They don't.

[C]

They end up calling the police.

[D]

Really?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, actually, the hotel calls because they get into a big fight. He shows up, he's like, how dare you be. Be a whore. How dare you call a. It's just like one of.

[D]

Katy, Texas. Katy, Texas, in our listening zone.

[C]

Yep. The husband actually now may face charges under the state's tough prostitution laws, which makes it illegal to engage in sexual activity. The exchange of money.

[D]

But how about the wife prostitute, though?

[C]

Yeah. How can you charge one without charging the other one anyway? Fun. It's just like I said, when you go to this real or fake headlines, you know, they're also bizarre in the dating world. Do you care?

[D]

Sure.

[C]

You know, used to be how your hair looks, what your car, how your house is. Turns out now these days, it's your credit score. People check. Turns out having a great credit history is sexy to some people. Online. Online dating services now are popping up. There's one called Creditscore dating dot com. But the. Here's the hook. Did see honor system.

[D]

He's telling.

[F]

What?

[D]

You don't ask the guy in Missouri what his score is?

[F]

Have you seen.

[D]

He's going to get all the dates.

[C]

Oh, there's a better. I had a. I went out with a girl one time and she went to this website, millionaires dating.com or something. And again, it's the honor system. And she was shocked. I tell you how many millionaires there were.

[D]

No.

[C]

And how many guys that would show up that weren't really millionaires. I'm like, are you that stupid?

[F]

Well, if you've seen with the new dating websites, apps that you can actually see where that person's at right now if you want to date them, it's very creepy. It's like, yeah, sure. So you may have passed this guy just about an hour ago. Do you want to go and find where he's at now?

[C]

Who's that?

[D]

I can't.

[F]

It was on a commercial.

[D]

Like an actual. Speaking of credit scores, mine is now a 650.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

And it was like a 780. And I have two pieces of bad credit that just showed up.

[C]

Okay. Just popped up.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And I do not want to pay them, but I'm gonna have to pay them. One of them is my money monitor. So years ago, when I moved back to Fort Worth, I had a mail. A P.O. box that they were sending some money to.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

That the mailman sent it back because I didn't have my box anymore.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

So it went to the state, the government. Now I had a friend tell me he was looking through the state records of money, there's places you can go. And he said, hey, you're on here. And I was on there four times. Had four checks sitting in the state treasury.

[C]

Did you get them?

[D]

They weren't that big, but yeah, yeah, I got them. And my money monitor sent me a letter on one of them. And when they saw that I collected it from the state, they sent me a bill for 10% of it, which was 600 bucks. I was like, screw you, I don't owe you anything.

[C]

I don't owe you any, anything.

[D]

They're on my credit.

[C]

You, you should dispute that. You can send, you have to do it to all three services, but you can send a letter and go and explain your side of it and dispute it. It takes about six weeks. But normally, if it's questionable.

[D]

I went to one of. I bitched about this a year ago or two years ago. I had leg pains in the middle of night. Went to one of those dock in the box ers in the middle of the night.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[D]

And I, I was telling him, I said, I need a. I forgot what it was. Hydrocodone.

[C]

Right.

[D]

And cuz from my injury, I hadn't had him in years. Like, I gotta have it. We don't have them. We don't have them. I said, what do you have? Can you give me a shot of morphine?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yes. I was like, okay, how much is that? I was like biting my teeth, I was in so much pain. And they said, well, you know, it's $230 for a 15 shot of morphine. That's fine, whatever, I'll pay it. But I stopped, I said, I don't want a bill after. Because all these doctors are so bad about sending after the fact bills, Sure. I said, I do not want a bill after. So I got the shot that and they come in and start talking about this other stuff. Want me to sign? I said, no, no, no. I know what this is. This is a trap.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

You're going to send me another. We don't know how much the doctor expense part of this is I'm like, you run the company. What do you mean? You told me 250. Anyway, that's on my credit too.

[C]

For another 400 you can dispute that as well. I, I would, honestly. Because chances are.

[E]

Go ahead.

[D]

We have, we've got disputed. Oh my God. The show's over.

[C]

I know.

[D]

We'll see you on Saturday. Remember the podcast on, John. Cliff. Wolf Dot com, love. Yeah.

[B]

Out. I'm out. Back to the money.

[D]

Time is money.

[B]

Let's get it.