Loading summary
A
Well, it must be.
B
Oh, my God.
C
I'll tell you, God, the devil's here.
B
Early in the morning to introduce the show. It's the John Clay Wolf show starring the devil.
A
Good morning, everyone. This is the Prince of Darkness.
B
So good to see you this morning. You look wonderful.
A
I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to get out. Yeah, buy your six disc remastered. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
D
The devil's a fan of Beatles.
C
I didn't know that.
B
Well, there's the whole.
A
I just love that lovely Rita.
B
Rita?
A
She's a meter maid.
D
What?
E
If it's Saturday morning, it must be the John Clay Wolf show, Everybody. Good morning, J.D.
B
Good morning, Mr. Bombo. How are you?
E
You know what? It ain't easy being me, but I'll take it.
B
Oh, he'll take it. Michael Turley ruining everything as usual.
D
Yep. Ruining. Yeah.
B
Running, running, running.
E
God help me, you done insulted the producer.
B
I did not do no such thing.
E
You done made Michael Turley feel uneasy.
B
Quite a morning. We gotta ask the devil when he comes back to what he thinks about Joel Osteen. Since we're on Houston right now, right?
D
Yes.
B
Okay. Well, this week, Joel Osteen child son, graduated from the University of Texas. So what do you do when you take a photograph with your child right after they graduate the University of Texas?
E
What do you do?
B
You stand in front of the big tower and you do the hook of horns, Right?
E
Stick your tongue out.
B
Oh, no, you don't. If you're Jho Low's team.
D
Because that's the devil sign. That's the devil sign.
B
His people in his church are like, I can't believe you're the devil's side. Shut up.
A
I really appreciated that little touch.
B
Did you think. Did you think it was meant just a little note just for you?
A
Joel Osteen is such a punk.
C
Wow, I didn't realize you guys. Well, I guess it makes sense. You hate him a little bit, right?
D
Yeah.
B
Well, they're kind of rivals.
D
Yeah, it's like your.
C
Is that the top rival of the devil?
A
Sometimes I visit him in his dreams. No, you don't make him think about hookers.
B
No, you don't. No, that.
E
No.
A
And he wakes up smiling.
B
I would say this every time. Does not occur new jealous. He's a great guy. Great guy.
C
Who else is on your hit list?
A
He wants to forgive him. And all they want is 40 doll.
C
Who else is on the hit list of the devil?
A
I'm really, really happy about that, Tony Romo.
D
Oh, really?
F
Romo?
A
He's gotten a DJ job.
F
That's your old job.
B
I wonder who got my gig.
C
You know what, that makes sense, jd, why they fired you. They needed that pay.
B
Yeah, they needed my salary to pay Romo.
E
That's terrible.
B
Well, he got hired by cbs. Oh, this is all falling into place. I get fired by cbs, he gets hired by cbs. Now he's a dj.
D
Well, think about it.
C
They needed to make room, right?
B
Of course.
C
Well, how else can they do that?
B
Every time they look at me, they think they looked at me. They said, salary cap.
C
Yeah, you are a salary cap casualty.
E
Romo rising.
B
That's it, man. Jackass. I hate it more now.
E
You guys scoff, but you watch Number nine, Romo's gonna be the next Tom Cruise.
B
Number nine. Number nine. Didn't the Beatles have some.
C
Yes.
D
Yeah.
B
Number nine. Next. Tom Cruise.
E
Yeah. That's the only thing he hasn't done yet is that.
B
Oh, act ye.
E
I can see it acts like a. Nah.
B
Well, too easy.
C
Wow, you do. Now hang on.
B
Too easy. No, I just. I'm looking for easy punch lines.
E
You didn't even have to say it. And I thought it.
B
Hey, you thought it.
E
That's horrible.
D
It's Memorial Day.
B
Come on, John Cat.
D
And I'm a little late.
B
Yeah, you look hungover.
D
I'm really not hungover at all.
A
Really.
D
I sat at a bar with a friend for a long time last night and I. By all, you know, scientific measures, I should be hungover.
B
Gotcha.
D
And maybe around 11 o' clock, I'll have a different opinion of that feeling. Stay. Oh, here you go with your alcohol stuff.
B
No, I'm saying about alcohol. Your hair is all down your face like an old woman in the back alley. That's what I'm saying. You look like you've been raped by a team of spany Indians.
E
Here you go with your alcohol stuff.
B
Dear God, I said nothing about alcohol. It's not my fault you're alcoholic.
E
You look Rocky rape.
D
But he's like. Well, you know, the alcohol is still up in the top half of alcohol. The first stage of alcoholism. You know, we. We get together at the church.
B
Oh my God.
E
For a. I wish you would drink.
D
Yourself for an ice cream social on. On Tuesday evenings at 5. We'd like for you to come get into ice cream, be a fat ass, don't drink. That's what we do. Then you'll have Dicky do. First guy to call in that knows what Dicky Doo is wins nothing. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Is the phone number, Mark. It's a 13 Hyundai with 80. It does have leather and roof. I'm a little salty this morning, so I may abuse you a bit. So I'd like to apologize on the front side. Where are you calling from? Oklahoma. Oh, my God.
B
Strike two.
D
Oklahoma and a Hyundai. You know, son, there's nothing but steers and queers in Oklahoma. What are you doing with a Hyundai up there? That makes it worse.
F
Oh, well.
D
Oklahoma. What? What movie was that from, son? There's no Mysterious and Queers in Oklahoma. Which one are you?
E
Metal jacket?
D
No, no, no, no. Officer and Gentleman, I think.
F
No, that's Full Metal Jacket.
D
Oh, you're right. I'm thinking of a different line. That's right, that's right, that's right. Okay. What's your payoff? I own it. Good. Good, good, good, good. A 13 Elantra with leather and roof. Five grand.
F
Is that right?
D
Is that right? Six? Six, five, six. Bobbo, what do you think? Five, six, 15, 20, 25, 30.
E
4,250, Bob.
D
4,250.
A
What do you do?
D
What about Randy the chipmunk? Randy, are you here?
G
I got a bad history with Hyundai's.
D
Yeah.
B
What?
G
Yeah, that front end's real low.
B
Yeah, they are.
G
It's a tough dodge.
B
It's coming after you.
D
Yeah.
G
Have you ever been hit by Hyundai?
B
I never have. I wonder why you guys get in the middle of the street though, and decide that's the moment. You don't know which way to go.
G
It hurts, but not really much.
D
Okay.
G
It'll make you talk Japanese. You walk, you get up off of the street and go.
D
If it. If it's a leather and ruf. Elantra, that means it's limited. Yeah, I'll buy it. I'll buy it for six. Yeah, it's a 13 Elantra Limited with 80 leather and. Leather and sunroof, right?
A
Yeah.
F
Hatchback GT.
D
That's a GT, not limited, but you know, it's got leather, right?
F
Well, it's the simulated.
D
Okay. Oh, everything's changing. I'm fine. Just go to give me the vin.com and load it up. Let's buy the damn car and we'll meet you at the Red river with. With cash and guns.
F
All righty?
A
Sure will, Josh.
D
800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Cash and guns. That's how we trade.
B
Yeah, baby.
D
Yeah. We'll buy your car. We'll pay you in cash and we can both be at point down and drawn down on each other.
E
Nice.
D
Just like beautiful. George Young and blow in that Florida hotel room. Heck yeah. He did take one to the shoulder, but I mean, you know, he'd done a lot of deals this time. You know what?
E
We all take one in the shoulder sometimes.
D
That the truth, Bobby? A 13x bed with 79 leather roof. 4x4. Is it long or short? It's short. Where are you coming from, man?
F
For work.
D
4X4. 1379. It's like 20, 21, 22.
F
Yeah.
D
Oh, yeah. It's a. It's a limited, right. It's a limited, right.
F
Xlp.
D
Oh, it is. But it's got leather.
F
Oh, yeah. And leather interior.
C
Yep.
D
Go, go the website. We'll buy it. These guys need to. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4.
E
What was that?
D
I don't know. 800, 800. Yes, Mike.
C
Well, you're talking about somebody bringing guns. Yeah, actually, we had a person submit a vehicle truck.
D
Yeah, and from Oklahoma.
C
No, it wasn't from Oklahoma.
D
Does this mean WAG on Oklahoma Day? No. Sure. We haven't seen that in a while.
C
Anyway, so we could. We didn't hear back from. We gave him an offer. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
D
What's going on?
C
What's going on? Finally gets back, says, oh, how many.
D
Aggies does it take to get keys to your truck if you're in Oklahoma?
B
How many, John?
D
47.
E
47.
D
46 of them that are out doing meth and one of them's waiting all his friends to come home.
B
I gotcha.
D
Go ahead, police.
C
So it turns out that he shot himself and that's why he had gone back to us.
D
Oh, my God.
C
He takes a photo of his finger missing.
D
Hey, Charlie, thanks for letting me go down that road. And then we end it with. We top it with death.
E
No, no, he didn't. He didn't shoot himself like Kobe. He accidentally shot his finger on a finger off.
D
And he finished like a fun kind.
E
Of a follow John, not the bad.
B
Guy turn off his mic.
D
I thought my guy just got killed. No.
C
Anyway, yeah, give me one.
E
Actually, that won't kill an Oklahoman. You have to have a silver bullet because they're supernaturally fine.
D
Gotcha. So, Mike, the guy didn't call us back because he shot his finger off. Correct. In the truck.
B
Yes, in the truck.
E
Blood all over the seat.
C
The reason why. Yes, we're talking about guns and associated with Oklahoma. And it also works at. Give me the VIN too.
A
So.
D
Good morning. You're on the air. Who's this?
B
Disclose that.
D
Hello.
F
Hello, Hello.
D
What have you got?
F
I've got a 13 Ram?
E
Yeah.
F
Crew cab, 1500.
D
Do you drive a bulldozer during the weekdays?
F
On occasion.
D
I bet. Because all bulldozer operators have Dodge trucks. Don't know why. That's been going on for a long time. Go ahead. 13 Ram. Is it. Is it leather? Navy. In the good stuff.
F
1500 crew, black exterior, gray cloth. It's a big horn edition.
D
How many miles?
F
44,000.
D
And is it lifted or stock?
F
And it has a hemi.
D
Is it lifted or stock? And is it four wheel drive or two?
F
It's two wheel drive and it's stock.
D
So it's a 40,000 mile. What year? 15. 13. 13 Longhorn. All the gear?
C
Yes.
D
30 grand.
F
I'm in.
D
I am too. Go to givemethevin.com.
A
Load it up.
D
Where are you calling from?
F
I'm calling from Houston.
D
Okay, just put it in there. Say wolf, hit me at 30 grand on the air. I want to sell it. It needs a clean carfax at the number. If it's got accident history, I'm going to back it up. Probably 2000. But no accident history. I'm all in. I buy them all the time. And we'll get you paid. Well, we won't get you paid on Monday, but I think we can get it done on Tuesday because Monday's Memorial Day.
F
I'll submit it right now.
D
Thanks. Okay. Is that enough cars? Yeah, I'm car now. I'm done. Can we not talk about cars for us today?
B
8, 18, and you're done.
E
Oh, come on.
D
Well, hurry up and call in if you want me to bid your car or just go to givemetheven.com. yeah, hurry up. I mean, I'm. I'm gonna cut the cars off at some point today. Okay.
E
I talked to the weirdest dude this week. Listens to us in Wichita Falls and his favorite thing about the show is the freaking car. Adding up the amount of money that you spend on the single run of the show. Yeah, like, man, look, dude, he spent like $700,000, man, on old beat up Dodge trucks.
D
So he really keeps it running. Total?
E
Yes. Is that crazy?
D
I don't know why people like the cars. I don't want to talk about the cars because you've done it all. Everybody else wants to talk about the damn program directors. Good morning, WZZU up in Pennsylvania.
A
Good morning.
D
We talked about this a lot this week. And the recipe for me to do a better show and had better ratings is bring more cars. That makes me think of taking my wiener and slamming it in a door. Jam.
B
According to our research, if you'd slam your wiener and talk about cars, you'd have a hit show.
E
What used to be called the Lindy Hop.
D
I, I. It surprises me, but they're like, you know, I don't know, more cars. I just don't get it.
B
But again, you do it all week. People don't. People dig cars?
D
Our stuff is funny. I like letting Bobbo tell dirty jokes and character voices.
E
Well, you're in for a bit of a surprise today.
D
What is it? Jack Nicholson? Magnicholas?
E
We're gonna do a whole different bunch of bits than you've ever heard before.
B
Really?
E
Because I've got.
B
Went to a graduation last night, so. He was late, bubble. Oh, yeah, son graduated.
E
I wasn't late.
B
I mean, you just, you just said you.
E
I wasn't stupidly early like I used to.
D
There you are.
B
There you are.
D
Mark. Where are you calling from?
F
I'm calling from East Texas.
D
Which one? East Texas is a big place.
F
Yeah, I'm kind of up around Lake Fork.
D
Okay. 07 Super Crew XLT 4x4 with150,000 miles. Average. Rough or clean? Mean.
F
Average.
D
So people like cars. I need to slow down. I need to explain them what I'm doing, right?
F
Oh, no, no, no. Don't slow down, man. Keep spending.
D
Okay. Average. Up for clean. You said average. What color is it?
F
Dark green?
D
Is it five grand?
F
Oh, man, that hurts.
D
It's got 150 on it. I mean, damn.
F
I rebuilt the front end and brakes and. Oh, boy.
D
Don't you have an uncle or a. Or a stepbrother that can cut miles?
E
Somebody.
D
I mean, damn. 150.
F
Yeah, but it's what, 10 years old?
D
What's it take to buy it?
F
About 12.
D
Oh, nice. Too damn high.
E
He just rebuilt the front end.
D
My God. We've been at chief Auto Parts tweaking all week. Redoing this front end.
E
Would you buy the boys ride?
D
Stealing parts off of parked cars and parking garages? I mean, having to go back to the auto parts store to get the screws that fit right because we busted the head off of the one while we were. While we were stripping the. You got nothing today, Bob. Why not? Sorry. You really have nothing.
E
Are you speaking to me? Yeah, I got plenty. Yeah.
D
J.D. what'd you do last night?
B
I just hung out. Look for a house, trying to get a job. Other than that, my life is a very stable.
D
What's going on with the boat?
B
You don't want to know.
D
Well, I know all this other Crap. Is it working?
B
Half of it is.
D
So we haven't sold it, and it's Memorial Day weekend.
E
I can't use it.
B
Right.
D
What's this other bill he sent me? I paid a bill.
B
I know you did. This is a different one.
D
Another 1500.
B
Yeah. Because when you cranked it that day. You really want to talk about this on the radio?
E
Yeah.
B
Okay. When you cranked it that day, you broke a bolt and the starter.
D
Yeah.
B
But you also.
D
It's not 1500.
B
Look, it's. It's all.
D
I see it, but it's not 1500. You think he's listening? It's not. It's not 1500.
B
I'll look. I'll look at that.
D
I don't know.
B
I didn't look at it, honestly. I just know the work he's done.
D
Yeah. Why didn't he get it where it'll run and stay running, and when you turn it off, you turn it back on and it runs on.
B
It'll start. I know why.
D
Because y' all put gas in it now.
B
It was. It's got gas. We checked. It's got gas. It may have. We may need to freshen up the gas. But we can't get it to the gas dock because the. The engine. Both engines won't start.
D
But he's got one engine.
B
We can't get it to the gas stock. I'm sort of being. Trying to be cute, but no. We get to the gas stock, and it needs a port starter now.
D
So when's he going to put that in? So it's out all weekend?
B
Yes.
D
That's.
E
Dude, I'll put a starter on that deal.
B
The starter's been ordered. It doesn't get here until Tuesday because it's Memorial Day weekend.
D
All right.
B
I'm sorry.
E
Starter ain't nothing, dude. We'll go down here to Lanny's.
B
Okay.
E
Pick up a starter.
D
It will still start. It would start. It would turn over when it was in the slip. It would turn over.
B
It would turn. It would turn over. But.
D
But. So why did he disassemble it?
B
He didn't. It's still there. It's. It's. You burn the engine up. You burned the motor up, the starter up that day when you were out.
D
I understand that.
B
Okay. And then. So it's. It's. It's starting. It'll engage, and then the bendix.
E
I heard it.
D
Okay. I heard it grinding.
B
That's what it does.
D
I know, but he didn't need to disassemble it where we can't use it at all this weekend.
B
It's not disassemble. You could go out on one engine if you wanted.
D
No, no, no. It was still working on the left side.
B
We went out the other day. It would not start, period. The left. The port engine would disengage. It would. It would start and then disengage. I was there.
E
Me and my boat.
D
Take us out, Bob.
E
We'll be back with more of the John Clay Wolf show right after this. Brought to you by givemethevin.com. you know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.
H
The John Clay Wolf Show. Phone bill is currently paid, so call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7 2, 3, 4, or online@givemetheven.com.
D
So, Bob, I'm driving through Shreveport, Louisiana, coming home from buying cars this week.
E
Nice.
D
And it's late. Not real late. It's like seven o'. Clock. And late for me.
B
For the geriatric, I mean, it was.
D
Later than I normally come back through Shreveport. Sure. And I had some cars to look at at a dealership down by downtown. So I'm coming back through. And it's funny that Turley's got this song on coming through. And there's a Strand Opera, Strand Theater, old theater. And on the marquee, it says, tonight the Cult, eight o'. Clock.
B
Wow.
E
What are the odds?
D
Yeah, what are the odds, huh? Rolled a big fat and sit down and watch the Cult, did you?
E
That's awesome.
D
He sounded like he did in 86. I mean, he was perfect.
C
Perfect fan, too.
B
You stayed for the show?
D
Oh, hell, yeah.
A
You did?
B
Oh, yeah. I thought you just drove by.
D
Dude, I walked in and I couldn't find anybody to pay. I'm not kidding. And I wasn't looking that hard, but nobody was slowing me down either.
E
The old Strand Theater, man.
D
Yes. I went in there. I didn't pay. He didn't pay. I didn't pay.
B
He just walked on in.
E
Yeah.
B
Roll, fatty.
D
I should came back and walked in in the second half after the opening act, and there were maybe 300 people there.
E
Wow.
B
Oh, my God.
E
How cool is that?
D
How random is that?
E
That's cool.
D
That's very cool, people.
E
We're actually very good friends of Debbie's. Can we just stand in the back?
B
It's. It's like the time I saw Billy Ray Cyrus And I swear there were 12 people.
D
It has nothing. It's nothing like the time you saw Billy Ray sire.
B
Exactly like that when up for the cult.
D
Yeah.
B
It's the same as 12 people showing up for Billy Ray.
D
Where was that exactly?
B
Dallas. The Bronco Bowl.
E
See, I feel sad. I thought that over here and you said that over there. Because I was thinking it's nothing like seeing Billy Ray.
D
It's totally the same.
B
As far as an audience response, he's talking.
C
John's talking about a small town that probably doesn't really listen to the cult.
B
And Billy Ray size in Dallas, Texas of all, but.
E
Yeah.
D
What were you doing there?
B
I was being paid to be there.
D
God, I hope so.
A
I can't wait to get a hold of Billy Ray sire.
B
Oh my God, he's back.
A
He's gonna have a achy breaky soul.
B
You don't like Billy Ray? I figured he'd be reheating his daughter.
A
Done with country music.
B
He gave that birth to that thing. That daughter of his. I think she'd be one.
D
She's a troll, dude.
B
She'd be on your side.
D
You've seen the movie Alien.
A
I've given birth to a few myself.
B
I know, but she. She's on your team.
A
That Damien kid, what a disappointment.
B
Really.
D
Damien Eccles up in Arkansas?
A
No, Damien the Antichrist. Oh, good Lord, man.
D
Well, he just didn't live up to your expectations.
A
Oh, he's everywhere. Him and that little tricycle.
D
Good Lord. Tricycle?
A
He's killed three nannies.
D
What movies you talking about? Do you know the name of the movie?
E
That's the Omen, man.
D
Okay, okay, okay.
E
You never saw the Omen with Gregory Peg John.
D
From a programming point of view, we find your content very entertaining, but still too much inside bro talk.
E
Yeah, that's not inside, man. Everybody knows the.
D
The listeners don't know your inside bits. You need to redefine them and bring everybody in on what's so effing funny.
C
I think a lot of people saw the Omen.
E
Did they say that?
D
Oh, yeah. Did they say that? I got a 40 of this email. It never ends. It never ends. 8008-0072-3480-0800-radio-06F250 lariat. Larry laureate with a buck 12. Chris, does it have any diesel problems?
F
That's what I'm unsure of. It broke down on me a couple months ago. I went to Florida. I made it back to the house, but it leaked out all the radiator fluid and I don't see It. So I was told there's a possible head gasket problem.
D
Where do you live?
F
So I don't know, fix it to sell it. What to do?
D
Oh, the fixing is going to cost a fortune if. Where do you live?
F
I live in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania.
D
Okay, step one, get a technician to come over to your house and put a scanner in it. Or you can put a scanner in it and pull the codes and go, give me the VIN and send us say hi, John. And I called John the air. And send us some pictures and say, here's the codes it's pulling and here's what it's doing. And we'll, we'll start from there. 800-800-Rode. My name is John Clay. Well, if it is Memorial Day weekend, we are live J.D. ryan, the famous J.D. ryan. He's famous.
B
Me and Billy Ray Cyrus famous, except Billy Ray get 12 people to show up.
D
J.D. ryan is here with us. Bobbo is here with us. Bobbo is the voice genius and I'm the, I'm the car guy. I do cars. I do the entertaining stuff with cars. It's just so sexy, so fun. Get ready to laugh your ass off about cars.
B
Everybody loves cars.
E
You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by. Give me the VIN.com.
D
Well, tell me why, why, why? Everybody's listening. You've sold us cars before. How did the process work?
F
Oh, as smooth as can be, man. Sold your mom one of my mother's cars or my brother's cars. One of my own. Literally gave a vin. You came, picked it up and had a check for me.
D
The key thing we did what we said we would do. That's what I, that, that's what I'm trying to get across, people because people, people think this is too good to be true.
F
Because, you know, hey, I tell everybody, call John Clay Wolf.
E
Sell us your car. You need a bin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.
H
The John Clay Wolf show phone bill is currently paid. So call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or online@givemethevin.com.
D
Is that guy on there with you the same JD Ryan that would been around on the TV for all these years?
B
I saw him at Ben and Ray Cyrus one year.
D
Yes, that is the same J.D. ryan.
E
Good morning, J.D.
F
Ryan.
A
Morning.
E
He's opening for Billy Ray size.
B
He was hoping actually I was closing for Billy Ray.
D
Billy Ray Virus.
B
That was such a sad show. He actually threw a guitar pick in the audience, and he goes, hey, don't. Don't fight over it. I got plenty for everyone here.
D
Did he really?
B
Yes, he honestly did.
D
We have Randy the Chipmunks coming in again. The studio. Rush Limbaugh is coming in today. Even though it's a holiday weekend, we're all still working.
C
He's always on his istan waiting.
D
Uncle Waldo this morning at 10:30. For those of y' all who don't know what Uncle Waldo is, tune in at 10:30, maybe 10:40, if you want to be specific. This will be our third week of Uncle Waldo. Tony Romo's dad is coming in today. Did you know that, Bobbo? I didn't either, but I'm glad he didn't know that.
B
Actually, you knew it.
D
It. He is. He is. It's is. Tony. The Fort Worth Colonial is going on today. Yeah.
E
And speaking of breasts, this is that one time a year when I really miss my old apartment. You guys remember I used to live right on the edge of Colonial?
B
Yep.
E
I could walk to the fence, see Tiger, and you wouldn't see Tiger daily.
C
And played one time, I think.
E
Yeah.
D
Yeah, he did.
B
He lived in that apartment.
D
He didn't play when you were 8. Pole.
E
This was 2,010. John, I don't think this whole Tiger.
D
Woods Colonial deal is something about no black members.
E
He was out there. Bill Murray this week.
D
You in 2010?
E
Yes.
D
J.D. will you look up and see if a 2010 tiger played colonial? Because I don't think he did.
E
I begged you guys to come over. I was like, you gotta come over, guys.
D
It's Tiger. You're just, like, so stoned that you're thinking of everybody that's ever been famous that's gone to Colonial, and you're putting them all in a bucket for the day you live there.
E
Danny Noonan's here.
C
He's played it one time, but I.
D
Don'T think it was 22. I think it was, like, 98.
E
No, it was 2010. I remember me and my dog Laramie walked over to the fence because they wouldn't let us in either.
C
He thinks all black people look alike, John.
B
That's what it is, 2010. Let's see here. He played the Masters. He played the Players championship, Memorial Tournament, US Open AT&T Nationals, Open Championship, the PGA tournament, the Barclays, and the BMW Championship.
E
Did I say that? He played.
B
Yay.
D
Whoa.
B
Nice.
D
Tiger was there.
B
He was there.
D
Yeah. Partying with you.
B
Parking cars just because he's hanging around.
D
He was just screwing white girls.
E
Yeah. He's like, where are all the white women at?
D
That was back when he was peeking, wasn't it?
B
Where are all the white women?
D
Yeah.
E
He was having a good time out there. He was having a good time.
D
That's greatness.
E
We had a couple of TCU girls under each other.
B
Whitest black man in the world.
E
I'm a Baptist, too.
D
That was before he got his teeth knocked out with a golf club by his wife.
E
Come on, girls. Let's go to tcby.
B
I mess.
D
Get some vanilla.
B
There's a whole new character.
A
Bob.
B
Bob just developed.
D
Tiger Woods. Tiger woods, the straight guy. We'll have him in a minute.
E
Hey, you're pretty. Do you. Do you have a little tie in you?
D
Lip? A 14 ram tradesman with a 105. Does it have the gray front end, or would you like one chrome? Chrome grill.
F
Chrome.
D
Chrome grill. Does it have power windows and launch? Yes. Does it have the boxes on the side of the bed? No, it's a tradesman. So it's like a st. So does it have the cheap wheels or did it. Does it have the SLT wheels?
F
No, I got aftermarket rims and tires on it. It's all got a leveling kit on it.
D
I need to see pictures. I need some pictures. It's hard to sell pee without pictures. Okay, so go to givemetheven.com and load it up. I need to see the interior, too. Open the driver door and give me a shot of the seat and the. You know, the steering wheel, that whole thing. Because tradesmen can be very base and they can be very close to slts, and there's a big difference in price. And I don't want to give you the wrong price.
F
Yeah, I gotcha.
D
All right. What city are you.
F
What's that?
D
That. What city are you listening to us on? What station you listen to us on?
F
94.
D
5 the buzz the buzzard. Did you listen to us last weekend?
F
I did not.
D
We caught a lot of grief over talking about Chris Cornell's death. Why?
F
Yeah, it sucks.
D
It does suck. I agree.
B
It was sad. We talked about it.
D
I'll get into that later. Okay. But the whole Eddie Vedder bit where. So we had the Devil on.
B
Yes.
D
And the devil was telling us that the singer from Foo Fighters. I had a brain fart.
B
Right. Okay.
D
Dave. Dave.
A
Grohl.
D
Grohl. Thank you. The Devil came in and got on the air with us and explained us that Dave Grohl is his son and that he's been going around killing all the grunge celebrities to steal their power.
B
Steal their power. Right.
E
I'm.
B
The devil came in.
D
The devil did that. And then we had. Yes. And then we had Eddie Vedder come on.
B
Right.
D
And we tried to talk. Talk him out of killing himself because all the rest of them have killed himself. And we tried to give him the Dave Grohl theory.
B
Okay?
D
So. But a lot of people got offended by that. Really? Yeah. And I'd like to apologize. Satan. There's Satan right there. Satan.
B
Oh, my Lord here.
C
He's always causing trouble.
A
I'll tell you the truth about this, guys, okay? I'm very worried about David Lee Roth.
B
Oh, God.
D
What about him?
A
I saw David Grohl in LA this week. Is he just a gigolo taking singing lessons? Somebody's gonna drop off. We've got something down here in hell.
D
We call the Grohl pool. Yeah.
A
David Lee Roth is number three with a bullet. And I. And I like the guy.
E
Wow.
A
He's done a lot of good for hell.
B
Right? David Lee Roth.
A
But this Gro guy, he's the mastermind of Seattle.
B
Grudge did not know.
A
He just keeps knocking these guys off one at a time so he can steal their powers.
B
You're freaking me. You're freaking me out.
D
The number to get on is 800. 800 7234.
B
Speaking of the Chris there folks in there now trying to. To book his hotel room that he in Detroit. DMGM grand, of course. Isn't that a little. Isn't that just a little sick? Seriously, Fans that want to book that hotel room.
D
I want to buy Whitney Houston's bathtub.
C
I stayed in Janis Joplin's room that she died in. Yeah. Yeah. A couple times.
D
Let me ask.
B
Do they charge a premium for that room?
D
It's a little bit more. Yeah. Because it's a.
C
It's a Crapple hotel.
D
Yeah.
B
And you did it just to stay in that room?
F
Yeah.
C
And then we had a little seance.
D
To see if we can.
C
Can speak to Janice. I don't believe any of that crap. We did it just to see. It was funny. And then so I had. I had a friend of mine turn off the lights, freak out everyone.
D
You really did that? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
B
There ought to be a tour of hotel rooms the rock stars have died in.
D
Agreed.
B
That'd be kind of fun. Anyway, so, people, that's the newest thing.
D
I think the Whitney Houston suite is real popular at the Beverly Hills.
B
Okay.
D
That's right. I'm serious.
B
This is the MGM grand in Detroit. Of course. And now people are booking.
D
That would be great. If anybody. This will improve tourism in Detroit by 200.
B
Oh, my God. There's no other reason to go to Detroit.
D
You know the difference between Soundgarden? I mean, the cult drew 300 in Shreveport. I think Soundgarden hit 400 in Detroit.
E
I don't know.
D
800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. No, no, no, no. I'm a huge Cornell fan. I think he is the next to Robert Planey's the best male vocalist has ever lived.
B
Did you hear the isolated tracks that were bumping around Facebook? There's a. There's an isolated vocal of him and it's amazing. It's awesome.
C
No, I did not see it.
B
I'm sorry. I'll find it for you and send it to you. But it's just him. No, no background note of anything. It's just him singing.
D
Is he just clean as a bell?
E
Amazing.
B
Yeah, it's amazing. It's beautiful.
D
They found track marks on his arm. This after this at the end of this week. So they're now speculating that he was whacked out on the needle on the spoon. Don't know if it's true. Don't know. I wasn't there. But his music will live on forever and your grandkids will be listening to it.
B
So, Michael, I'm going to send you that link. So when we come back, maybe we'll have that.
D
Who went to the Joshua Tree concert in Dallas last night? Calling right now and tell us what happened. Tell if it was good, bad. I didn't go. I should have gone YouTube, played Jerry World, Death Star and did the whole Joshua Tree album. Did you know that, Bob?
E
Yeah, yeah, they let. Actually Tony Ro played bass.
B
What?
D
Yes. 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. Somebody call in that went to the concert last night. And catch us up on if you found what you were looking for. Top 10 at 10. What's the topic today, J.D.
B
We don't have one, but I'll have one before 10 new.
D
Give me the VIN spot. We did this new spot and really what we're saying is the automation. You know what. Live in an instant gratification world.
B
Yeah.
D
So now when you go to give me the VIN, we used to take 15, 20, 25, sometimes 30 minutes to an hour to get a bit on your car.
B
Okay.
D
Cuz we're doing it manually. But we programmed our machine and now it'll throw you A range immediately. So like he'll tell you we'll give 20,000 to 22.
B
Okay.
E
Right.
D
Then the high and the low and then.
B
So if I like that range.
D
Yeah, yeah, you're in.
A
Okay.
D
Yeah, but you know that immediately and you're not waiting around. So try that@givemetheven.com if you'd like to sell us your car. We, we have a big push right now. We're trying to buy 100 cars over the weekend to get ready for an auction that we have next week, Memorial Day. Deal. And break a record in May.
C
Well, there's gonna be some nice cars.
D
At that auction today is. Yeah. Trying to break a record for May and do a thousand cars. We're pretty close to it. Johnny Aldoz, what's going on? Not much. Are you trading? Are you selling? This looks like a trade in truck.
F
Yeah, it'll probably be a trade. Probably. That's probably what's gonna happen.
D
Okay, go to givemetheven.com and load it up. A 15xlt 26,000mile sport package, which I like. Do this. Go to the dealerships and get your trade numbers and then come get me and let me beat it.
E
Okay.
F
Well, I went and I. They were about 29 is where they were at.
D
They weren't about somewhere. They were exactly somewhere because they put it in writing. Where were they?
F
They, they didn't put it in writing.
D
But then it ain't real.
F
I buy from, you know, I'm returned to him. But like we bought several cars for him so he, you know, he'll play around with me. So he said that's probably what you're getting.
D
But you know, he doodled you. He doodled you at 29.
F
He really.
D
So if I give 295, do I buy it? That's what I'm saying. You need to get him locked down where he is so we can make a deal. We, we, we can't fight and argue and negotiate against each other until we're down to brass tax on paper. Get it on paper and come. Come get me. 800-800-72348. 800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf. His name is JD Ryan Bobo. And we actually do buy cars. I think we have a new mix on the earphones. And why don't you play a little.
F
Bit so we can evaluate.
D
Ready?
H
The john clay wolf show call at 800-800-radio. At 800-800 radio. That's 800-800-7234 or online at givemethevin.com.
D
Peter Cetera never should have left Chicago and done all those songs in the early 80s that were on Karate Kid.
B
Now they're not even speaking to each other.
D
Randy, you're not supposed to sing along the music. Yeah, Randy, you're not supposed to sing along with the music.
G
Well, what the hell.
D
Hang on. I want to talk to Trey real quick and ask him about YouTube. Trey, what happened in at the YouTube show last night?
F
It was phenomenal, man. Like, I've never seen him before. Album came out when I was a junior in high school. I'd never seen him live.
D
It was.
F
Man, it was one of the best shows I've ever seen.
D
Did you find what you were looking for?
F
Found what I was looking for.
D
Good.
F
Absolutely.
D
What. How much did. How much did the tickets set you back?
F
Floor tickets. My wife and I was just under 300 bucks. But, you know, after Chris Cornell checked out last week, I couldn't. I couldn't not go, you know?
D
Yeah. What if. What? What if Dave Grohl knocked off Bono this week? Right, right, right.
F
You know, I got to see Chris cornell back in 96 at La Palooza.
D
I did.
F
I did dope with him thinking about that. What's that?
D
Nothing. That was JD.
B
Yeah.
E
The only thing about Bono, I just. I wish him and Share would get back together. I think that would be awesome.
B
800.
D
800.
B
Very safe this week. You see him hanging out with George Bush?
D
Yeah. Yeah.
B
They're playing golf together.
D
Yeah. What are they going to bring? Israel and the United States back together again?
E
I know y' all got a big show.
D
Israel over the American Airlines. Ireland, not Israel.
C
Yeah.
E
Y' all gonna go down, Jerry. We're gonna play a big show.
D
We're gonna get back and go sit in the presidential suite and find what we're looking for. Robert Weber, Good morning.
F
Good morning.
D
07 vet hard top leather. 81, 000 miles ac dc. You know what ACDC is black on black. And it's a stick. Average, rougher. Clean. It's clean.
F
I bought it from CarMax two years ago. Yeah, it's a good car.
D
Have you taken it back to them to get an appraisal yet?
F
I have not.
D
Okay. I want to buy it. So here you bring up a good point. Any. Whatever written offer they give you. If I don't beat it, I'll email. I'll overnight you a check for 100 bucks. We believe. We believe so much in our pride pricing that we're willing to take on the biggest car dealer in the world. And Say, if we don't beat them, boom, we'll pay you. So if that ain't validation, but. Yeah, it's mid teens on the money. But since you bought it there, I bet you're gonna run. Are you still planning on running over there and getting a bit on it?
F
Yeah, just because they're close by.
D
Do that. Start. Start there and then. Then take a picture of the car. Take a picture of the offer letter, load it into our form and we'll tell you. I mean immediately. And if we can't beat it, we'll just send you 100 bucks. I sent a guy 100 bucks yesterday.
F
Sounds good.
D
Yep, thanks.
B
How many do you do a week?
D
About 200. 200, okay.
B
$200 or 200 checks.
D
Oh, oh, checks. I thought you meant cars. No, up three.
B
Three.
D
Okay, maybe 500C.
E
Bono discovered Cher and she was like 16 years old.
B
This isn't true.
D
No, no, it is true. If you'll sit and listen. He's very right.
B
Go ahead.
E
And they kicked her out of every decent town on the east coast, okay.
D
Because she was Jewish, she's like, oh.
E
Sale what I'm gonna do. And Bono's like, well, we could have an act, man. You know? And of course, Bono was like three years old.
D
It kind of started off like the I Cantina deal. I mean, she was his girl.
B
I believe that's Bono. I believe it's Sonny.
E
And Bono's like, not Tina. You get your ass in the car, Tina.
B
He's confusing a lot of people here.
D
Yeah, hang on, let me pull out the comments from the program directors. John, your show is very enjoyable with a lot of good gigs. We think you should bring more cars into the shtick. But the inside bro talk is very confusing. In the match asses don't get it.
G
Feeling stronger every day.
D
Everyone is not an insider into yalls little club. And when you do that, you've put yourself on an island, right? Love programming department, right?
C
I worked at a station, I went.
B
To the radio station. It was like number one for like 10 years that did exactly that.
E
So I'm gonna have to say, look at the top morning show. Every market in the country.
C
Yeah, everybody does that.
E
You gotta keep your friends.
D
Dear John, you're on Saturday mornings and you're constantly relating to new cumors, trying to bring in new listeners. You're not on every day, so you have to be more careful with being on straight inside humor and bro talk.
B
Gotcha.
D
Love programming.
E
So that's why they got the degree.
D
Rush Limbaugh is In the House this morning. Good morning, Rush. Good morning.
E
I'll tell you, John.
D
Hang on, hang on. I need to explain who you are. Rush Limbaugh is a radio announcer that used to be on in Missouri, and then he became a nationally syndicated show after he changed his name.
B
A big deal.
D
And. And he's on at pretty much High Noon around the country, and he's a Republican talking head. Rush, good morning.
E
Geez, John, you make me sound like some kind of a peckerwood.
D
What is a peckerwood?
E
Here at the Excellence in Barbie.
D
Will you look at Pepperwood on Pepperwood.
E
On Urban Dictionary, we have announcers. We have personalities. Can you believe the grief they're giving Kirchner this week?
A
Wow.
B
There's actually a definition for peckerwood.
D
What is the definition finish of peckerwood?
B
A white person, especially a poor one.
D
That's it.
B
That's it?
D
That's it.
B
That's all it says.
E
Oh, what the hell did you think I said?
B
I'm not sure what you said.
D
Kirschner.
E
They're pounding this guy minute by minute, hour by hour on the Clinton News Network.
D
Sammy Kirschner, that was the queen of my Double Wide Trailer. Didn't he sing that song, she's the queen of my double wide Trailer?
B
Yeah, he did.
E
May have been his cousin, Sammy Kershaw.
D
Ah, okay. So what's he have to do with Trump?
E
Everybody's got a cousin in Little Rock.
D
You know, Bobbo says he made love to Reba back in the 80s.
E
I wouldn't doubt it. He seems like her type.
B
He does not.
E
Kirshner started with the Donald J. Trump campaign, God bless him, as a. As a surrogate. Now, you're familiar with the term surrogate, but sure. Another. Do you understand? Look, do you understand what that means?
D
Yes.
E
Not only was he working.
B
Yeah.
E
For the Donald Trump campaign, trying to put an end to the Cold War.
A
The new Cold War.
E
He's also fighting to get women the right to vote, and that's important. I think we should have more surrogates in Washington, D.C. okay. Old Washington, Washington, the dirty river. Dirty river, Old Man River Keeps rolling through Washington, rolling along. But Donald J. Trump's campaign is over. He's already the president. So look.
D
What?
E
Just let it go, Rush.
D
On a more aggressive note, what opioids are you going to take this weekend on Memorial weekend?
E
Good God. For the whole weekend?
D
Yeah. I mean, for normally, on the holiday weekends. You like to get all jacked up.
A
Well, my.
E
My ex. Old lady's daughter stole a whole bottle of Hydrocodone from my medicine cabinet. So I'm going back to good old Vicodin. That's serious.
D
Straight Vikings.
E
It's always reliable with, like.
D
What do you like to drink with them?
E
Absolute vodka.
B
Oh, man.
E
In a tiny glass.
D
A little glass.
B
Yeah.
E
And pretzels, because you gotta eat well.
B
You got it.
E
Yeah.
D
Carbs are important. So Vicodin. Like the big horse pill or the little ones.
E
Now the tiny, little, cute little blue ones.
D
So you take some. 1, 2, 3 Vikings. 2 and a half, two and a.
E
Half at a time.
D
And absolute vodka. Like mixed or shots or chilled or up or down or dirty or what?
E
In a glass. You don't need ice. It's Memorial Day weekend for sure. I mean, you're not gonna get any cooler than it already is.
D
Straight up Vicodin. And then what?
E
You take your pretzel and you dip it in the vodka.
D
Oh, my gosh.
B
Really?
E
What. What are you looking so shocked about? You've done this. I can see it. It's all over you.
B
Not on purpose.
E
And then you mash it up.
A
Yeah.
E
On a flat surface.
D
Okay.
E
And snort it.
B
Oh, God. Here we go.
F
I knew it.
E
And you don't have to have a straw.
D
Here.
E
Here's something I learned. Here's something I learned in the hood.
D
Hood.
E
If you've got any done denomination of dollar bill, I prefer a 20. You roll that up, and that's the best way to get the pretzel down.
D
Thank you, Rush Limbaugh. Thanks for coming in this holiday weekend.
B
Amazing.
E
Remember, women should have the right to vote as well.
B
Yeah.
D
Rob, good morning. You're on the air.
A
Hello.
D
Hello. What you got, man?
F
2013 Lexus GS350.
D
What color?
F
Starlight Pearl.
D
Is that white or is that silver?
F
No, that's. That's white.
D
Okay.
F
Dark interior.
D
Okay. Where do you live?
F
Spring, Texas.
D
23 grand.
F
23 grand.
D
All right, all right, all right, all right. What do you think about that? You gonna sell it to me?
F
Well, it's. It's got a little bit more on it.
D
We got a little more on it. The man is holding a little more paper than the 23 rocks that Mr. Wolf is throwing down. How much is the man holding on top of it?
F
Probably about 27.
D
Yeah, you might have to come up with some scratch, do a little side gigging to get that gap filled.
F
Well, it's a lease. All right, so it's not. You know, we could either trade, turn it in or. I was just trying to see if I was gonna give me a truck that's all.
D
Yeah, I would. I would just turn it in because, you know, 23 is the money. Unless it's F Sport. Is it F Sport? No, it's a pretty cool. Tell her. But anyway. Yeah, just turning in.
E
All right.
F
Thank you.
D
I hope we're entertaining you. Is this the first time you've ever listened to us?
F
No, I love you guys.
D
And he's got a big, deep voice.
F
He does.
D
So the program directors. So what do you think, Rob? Do you think more BS or more cars?
F
More cars. I'm a car guy.
D
More cars.
B
Old J.
D
All right. You know, my dad told me whenever I got into this business, he. And because I was a car guy, too.
B
Yeah.
D
And he said, there's going to be a day when you don't care about these things anymore. It's going to be like the playboy who opened a house and turned into a homo.
E
What?
D
So let me. Did you get that?
B
Yeah.
D
The playboy that opened a whorehouse and turned into a homosexual. I'm gay. Possible he got too much.
B
Too much of it.
D
Maybe that. Maybe that's where my palette for the cars is.
E
Breaking my heart.
D
Maybe I want, like. I need to get into motorcycles or something. Actually, I'm into airplanes.
B
Yeah.
E
No, you need to stop listening to these old boys telling you what to do, man. Do your show the way you do. You got where you are by being who you are, man. You just need to keep L I V I n. Okay.
D
800-800-7 2, 3.
E
Don't be no Dennis Miller and change your show and mill your career.
D
800, 800 radio. You don't think we should change the show?
E
Oh, I like sock Dennis Miller in the mouth, you know?
B
Really?
E
Hey, makes me mad.
D
Why?
E
They used to be so cool.
D
This is Buster Dicks, everyone. The redneck politician from Texas that does drugs and pays takes payoffs from local. Local municipalities.
E
You stay representative, Buster Dicks. I'm just saying, Dennis Miller used to talk about.
D
You own a barbecue store in Fort Worth, don't you?
E
Yeah, I got. I got two. All right. I got Korean barbecue store. That's awesome. And I got a regular barbecue store. I charge too much. But you're supposed to.
D
Do you have them Koreans cooking them Corian barbecue.
E
They actually. Mexicans in the kitchen. They make the best Korean barbecue. Something about the tomatoes, you know? You and I don't understand how to make a tomato do that.
D
Really?
E
Mexican people can. No, no. And they're proud of it. And I pay them.
D
Good. Good morning, Gary, you're on the air.
F
Hey, Man, I just wanted to let you know that your program directors are full of political promises because I love the bs.
D
Okay, we've got one for more cars and one for more bs, Right? We're trying to make sure.
A
We're taking.
D
Testing our. Our fajita recipe for the show and make sure we have it right on a little more. You think the jalapenos should be grilled or raw? Gary?
F
I like them grilled.
D
I do too. Because then they're still hot and they light you up. But they're not so bad that you, like, can't go to the bathroom.
F
Right?
D
You know what I mean? There was a guy that we. That worked on the construction company, my dad, my granddad's. When I was a little kid and I was on Uncle Roy's crew. And they had to rush this guy to the hospital because he had some kind of venereal disease and they nicknamed him Brains after this. But what had happened is he went to the Korean barbecue place and he got hot peppers all over his hands. He went to the bathroom and he didn't realize he didn't put two and two together and know that he burned his genitalia with his hot pepper hands. So they rushed him to the emergency room and once they realized that it was just hot pepper pepper than he today still lives with the name of Brains.
E
Yeah, that guy.
F
A little.
D
Mentally, he got jalapeno on his brains and it did not do well.
E
Well, that's not good.
D
800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800, 800 radio. 30 seconds.
B
Oh, we have 30 seconds. Well, okay, we have this. I'll just give you a headline. True or false? Actor Tom Cruise has been confirmed that Top Gun 2 will be coming out in 2018. He'll be taking the roles of a cargo plane pilot who hauls rubber dogs dog do out of Hong Kong. True or false?
D
I know The Top Gun 2's true. I don't know about the dog, dude.
B
It is true and false. Top Gun 2 is coming out. The other part is just fun, but it's bumping around on Facebook, so shut up. Quit spreading that crap.
E
Caesar's no story without Goose man, though.
B
Oh, I know. He's dead. Maybe he comes back.
E
Check us out Bobbor of the John Clay Wolf show after this word from givemetheven.com. You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up. Powered by GiveMeTheVin.com get back, honky cat.
D
Better get back to the woods. But I quit those days and my redneck wa. Remember@givemethevin.com not only do we have an automated system, it'll bid your car instantly but we will come to your house, office, wherever you and pick it up with a check. We're immediate, we're sight unseen, we're over the phone and we come to you like a pizza delivery boy. If we don't beat the carmax, we owe you a hundred dollar check. That's how much I believe in what we're doing. GiveMeTheEven.com is the best wholesale site to sell your car to in the world.
E
Sell us your car. Givemethe vin.com so easy you can do.
D
It in your underwear.
H
The John Clay Wolf show phone bill is currently paid so call at 800800 radio at 800800 radio. That's 800-800-7234 or online@givemetheven.com.
D
In my eyes indisposed in disguise is no no one knows has the face like the snake in the sun in my disgrace Boiling.
E
Heat a summer stench neath the black.
D
The sky looks dead Call my name.
E
Through the cream and that here you scream again Black hole sun Won't you.
D
Come hear the effect on him now Right there. They just pumped it up. Dear John, as a listener I really enjoy the bro talk and find it entertaining and informative. How else am I to supposed. Supposed to learn about Asperger's and snorting pretzels dipped in vodka? The program directors don't appreciate that kind of brilliance. Bring on more BE.
B
Bring it on.
D
02 Ranger. It's the add hour. We just jump from one subject to another. Just like a squirrel on meth. 02 Ranger with a buck 60 on it in a six foot bed. Scott, this thing sounds like a real POS. Do you know what a POS is?
F
Oh, I sure do.
B
Positive operating system.
D
Is it a good one or is it a pos? It's.
F
It's actually in. In pretty decent shape. I bought it in 2009 and it had one owner, so I bought it with 22000 miles on it.
D
You put 160 on it? Man, you got the best years out of her life.
F
Yeah, so I did. And she still kicks like a champ.
D
Did you turn her into an alcoholic while you were doing this to her?
F
Well, I'm a. I'm a prior sailor in the United States Navy. So she came with a. With a bottle of scotch in her hand.
D
I think it's a thousand dollar pos is what I think, but I'll look. Go to givemetheven.com and load it up.
A
Good morning.
D
Oh, hello. Hi. Good to talk to you, too. I know nobody. So I've got this buddy in Dallas, and, you know, he. His wife is social.
B
Social.
D
They're social. You know, belong to Dallas Country Club.
E
Little junior league social butterflies.
D
And he was telling me that his daughter. Every time they wanted to get her to do something.
E
Yes.
D
She, like, figures out a way to cause chaos to get out of it, like a project during the afternoon.
B
Okay.
D
Typical kid move, right? Sure, sure. Yeah. But she keeps. Now that she's figured out that her mom's got weed in her purse, she'll go find her mom's weed and then freak out about her mom being a pothead just to get. Just to get out of everything. Yeah.
B
Look at this over here.
D
Oh, my God. Mom. Smoking. I can't believe it. Why you do. Why'd you lie to me? Why'd you lie to me? It's not mine, honey. It's. Yes, it is. It's the second time I found it. Oh, my God. The dad's finally like honey to the daughter. Maybe you should smoke some of that. Calm the hell down.
E
Here on the John Clay Wolf show, we don't want to advocate any sort of. No underage use of psychotropic chemical plants, but comma. But it is Memorial Day week, Mike.
D
You want to buy a. You want to buy a car, and you're getting jerked around at the dealership. What are they doing to you?
F
Yeah, well, so I really don't want to mention. It's over in Weatherford. It's one of the big dealers. If I'm trying to buy me a GMC pickup truck, I just got a big settlement from the Veterans Administration, and they only want to drive me an invoice on it. Shop it. I want, like, either Denali or something like that in three quarters. Run.
D
Do this.
F
I want a nice. I want a dealer that'll work with me. I went to Thomas Jefferson. We thought before John.
D
Okay. Good to see you. I'm gonna put you on hold. I'm gonna screener put. Ronnie. Not Ronnie Biggs. David Biggs.
F
Veteran. I'm a Coast Guard veteran.
D
I got you. I got you. Well, I. I know a lot of people that can hook this up and fix this. Right.
F
Jerk me off, man.
D
I'm gonna. That's. That. That. That. At the noon buffet. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. I got it. 800. Dear John, your inside Humor on the show and bro talk sometimes doesn't appeal to all listeners. You need to be more mainstream.
E
I had a very insane when the.
D
Guy called in and said they're trying to blank me off. Off. And you said at the noon lunch buffet. A lot of people didn't get that. I'm sure your die hard listeners really enjoyed it. But for newcomers, they're confused. More cars, less bs. Less.
E
Yeah, no, everybody loves Kung Pac.
D
That's how. Is that our new T shirt? Is that our slogan?
C
More cars, less bs?
E
I had a very insensitive thought, actually.
D
That's probably what's going to happen when.
E
The fella said coast Guard veterans.
D
Veteran. Yeah.
E
What is that?
B
What does that mean?
E
I'm not making. I swear to God, I'm not making fun.
D
It sounds like a Coast Guard veteran is a man that used to work for the Coast Guard.
E
Okay. There.
D
Yeah. Now was he? Was he. Sir, is the Coast Guard. Is that a paying gig? If you don't like the coast guard, can you quit?
B
Dude, just.
D
That's the difference.
B
Your kid's a marine. So now you're a big military.
D
Everybody's underneath them.
E
I never dream that I would hear that stated in the first person. I'm a Coast Guard veteran.
C
They serve the country.
E
Yes, of course they do.
B
Of course. That's a military brain.
D
I know it. I know. Then what do you say? What's your problem, Bob? You got a problem?
E
Okay, then why'd everybody laugh then?
D
Just because you're such a dumbass.
B
Big char.
D
You're such a dumbass. Dear John, when you call your co host weird names and talk about inside humor and bro talk.
B
Yeah.
D
It alien out some of the new cumming listeners to your program.
B
Does anything not alienate the listeners?
D
Uncle Waldo doesn't. He's coming up at 10:40 this morning.
E
10:40 and there ain't no coast in Arkansas anyway.
D
Tony Romos Chad will be here.
B
Oh, Ramos.
D
In the news we've got a hot girl as our model on the Give me the VIN spot. If you go to John Clay Wolf show Facebook, click that. We've got a. A new video that is so easy. You can do it in your underwear video.
E
And before anybody gets weird, that guy is a friend of the show and we're just messing around.
D
So would you like to read your apology in the next segment? Coming up next is my apology for the Chris Cornell bit last week and Bobbo's apology to all Coast Guard veterans. My name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars right here on this Station. And remember, more cars, less B.
E
You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.
D
Well, tell me why everybody's listening. You've sold us cars before. How did the process.
F
Oh, as smooth as can be, man. Sold you my. One of my mother's cars or my brother's cars, One of my own. Literally gave it in. You came and picked it up and had a shape.
D
For me, the key thing, we did what we said we would do. So that's what I. That. That's what I'm trying to get across people because people think this is too good to be true.
F
Because, you know, hey, I tell everybody, call John Clay Wolf.
E
Sell us your car so easy you.
D
Can do it in your underwear.
H
The John Clay Wolf show. Call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800, 800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234, or online at givemethevin.com.
D
That cult concert that I went to in Louisiana this week, Charlie, it was so badass. The original guy sounds so good.
C
Remember we saw them at Guns N Roses, but you couldn't hear anything because that venue's terrible at Texas or Cowboy Stadium.
B
Yeah.
D
So when you go from playing at and T Stadium six months ago to a downtown theater in Shreveport, Louisiana, that's quite. You must have to take some lewds to get over those. Those highs and lows.
C
I love rock and roll. That. I mean that seriously. That's. I prefer to see a band like that in a small venue, just real intimate show.
E
And you never do. That's so rare.
B
You said 300 people showed up. How many did the venue hold?
D
1500.
B
1500?
D
It's just old theater house like every town has. But this one's pretty nice. But I mean, they sounded great. Much better than Leonard Skynyrd. You know Lynyrd Skynyrd? They don't really have any of the original members. No, you just have to be related to an original member to be in Lynyrd Skynyrd.
B
Right?
D
Oh, that's my cousin's nephew.
B
I know.
D
He plays the bass. We call him Ronnie Van Cousin.
E
You remember Gary.
D
Everybody's name's Ronnie Van something.
E
He's married to my sister Charlene.
B
I booked. I booked that one time for a radio show, and when they showed up, I got all kinds of trouble. There's nobody from the original band.
D
None.
B
Well, I know, but they call themselves.
D
The Red Headed, the Ginger Keyboard player. Yeah, that's it. Dan, Good morning. Earlier.
F
Yeah, hey, this. I just wanted to say I. I'm really on show. I. I followed y' all over from the Eagle.
D
Oh, thanks.
F
And, yeah, I've called in once or twice, but I wanted to say to the. About the email you got and some of those people calling in saying, you know, less BS and, you know, more cars.
D
I. You.
F
You maintain your listeners because y' all are doing the. What y' all are doing is working. It's perfect. I love the Tony Romo's father. I love, you know, the Percocet that brushes over his face, the chipmunk, you know, everything. Everything. The biker chick, the strippers.
D
Yeah.
F
So, you know, and I'm a car guy, but so I wouldn't say cut the cars out or anything. I love how y', all, you know, y' all do both.
D
Just enough side boob and just enough leg and just enough ass, and that's. That's the whole combination. You've got to deliver it in the right order. And then they say, more, more. More cars and less bs.
F
Oh, please don't do that. Please don't do that.
D
We have Dan in Dallas says, please, no more. Don't lose the bs. Here's one from Arkansas. Sounds like your program directors are a bunch of liberals.
E
What does that mean?
D
They must be of the liberal persuasion. We love the show. I look forward to it all week. I live in Fayetteville and heard we might be losing you. Oh, that was because I changed something up there. No, you're not losing losing me. Never fear, you won't lose this. Listener podcast to the rescue. Y' all have a great holiday weekend. Well, thank you.
E
Where did gary.
D
In Fayetteville, Arkansas, where they find the podcast@go johnclay wolf.com iTunes, Google Play. Is that what it's called, the John Clay Wolf show?
E
Or just go to givemetheven.com and see the whole package. There's a listen button at the top, and you can see podcasts going back for a year.
D
Well, that. That in our show site. Anyway, if you click radio show, John Clay Wolf Show. The podcast button. Yeah, give me the vin. You click radio show, it's all there. If you got half a brain, you'll figure it out. And if you don't, you're too dumb to be listening to us anyway.
E
You know what I think?
D
I think because you'll miss the inside.
E
Bro talk, the program director, like our station in El Paso, they were on, you know, the program director, Tommy Dexter. Like that's not a fake name.
D
I've never been to. I mean, El Paso.
E
Tommy Dexter on the radio, Everybody's last.
D
Name is Shane Shannon. In the radio business, Brian Shannon, Sammy Shannon. Tommy Shannon.
E
He said his morning show guys are beginning to imitate us.
D
Where in El Paso? Well, I don't blame him.
E
You know, we're on. We're on the station in El Paso.
D
But if they really want to imitate us, we need them. We need them to know more cars. Rock 101, less BS. Nathan. Nathan, you have O2 Civic with 120,000. So. And it's in Lake Jackson. I mean, you got like three strikes against you, man. You there?
F
Yeah, I'm here, buddy.
D
More cars and less BS. Okay, let's do more cars. An O2 Honda Civic with 120. That is so cool. JD have you seen the all new O2 Honda Civic? I haven't. It's got these little dog dish wheels on it. And like, the tires are so small. Small that if you want to get them new, they're 20 bucks a piece.
G
Wow.
D
They're affordable.
B
What a deal.
D
It gets about 38 miles a gallon. It's worth about a thousand bucks unless the paint's coming off of it like most of them in that vintage of O2. Hey, Nathan, is the paint coming out of your O2 Honda Civic with 120,000 miles? Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Makes it worth more money. I think we need to talk about this for a while.
B
It's a classic.
D
Should we continue on? So. So, Nathan, what's it take to buy your O2 Honda Civic?
B
More cars.
F
I mean, I'm not touched with reality. So, I mean, I got an idea what the car is worth. I just want to see, you know what your kind of numbers you're talking.
D
500.
F
Yeah. I had a feeling that was coming.
B
Boom.
D
Well, now, you know, I'm.
F
I'm have to think about it long and hard, man, but you might have yourself a deal.
D
I'm just so excited about this all new O2 Honda Civilization Civic with 120,000 miles in faded paint that I've got to drive to freaking Lake Jackson to go pick up. I can't wait. Hang on. I'm gonna get in the car after the show and start heading that way. So I'll make it by Monday. We'll get it. I'm kidding. We have buyers. We have drivers in Houston area. They'll come over to Lake Jackson. They'd only up charge me 150 to come get it on a 500 car and then we'll pay another 150 to get it back from Houston. So we'll have $800 extra in this 500 car and I'll lose nickel on it. And this is why. This is why I play the Johnny Cash clip. One, two, three. Now, now, now. It ain't me, baby. It ain't me. You're looking more baby. Tony Romo's father is here in the studio this morning.
B
Did you hear he was a DJ this week?
D
I did not.
B
Yeah, but I think last Sunday he showed up as a DJ. DJ9, he called himself when he took over DJ duties last Sunday at a charity event in Westlake, Texas. The recently retired cowboy quarterback will be moving to the CBS booth. He was actually spinning records.
D
Was he tripping on ecstasy?
B
No, he seemed to be quite sober.
D
Good morning, Romero.
E
Buenos dias.
D
We haven't seen you in a while.
B
How you been?
D
I have been around.
B
You've been around.
E
But you know, I have to spend my time wisely. Representing Antonio has become a full time job.
B
Sounds like he's busy.
E
Not since the days of the different strokes and the multi talented Gary Coleman have we seen a triple threat of a talent. Triple threat like my son Tony. Okay, if it's not his, his almost playoff golf game winning quarterback came so close. He's almost qualified for the U.S. open in the game of golf.
B
He does play golf.
E
He throw a mean frisbee.
B
Well, that's three right there.
E
He work at the Taco Bell? Oh, he just for eight weeks in 2016.
B
Okay.
E
Now he is Club DJ.
B
He's a Club DJ. Yeah.
E
Tony Romo, number nine.
B
Yep.
E
DJ number nine.
B
DJ nine.
D
Number nine.
E
Number nine.
D
Number nine.
E
El numero niento, they call him. And he have a wonderful time playing the dj. It's very successful.
B
Well, look for the video that showed up on the Internet. Looked very happy.
E
He was having fun in his own mind. He's very successful. But this. Take a time.
D
Romero, I have a question for you.
E
Yes.
D
More Cars and less BS or More BS and less Cars?
E
You know, I think about this, oh, all week long. Yes.
D
Hang on. I want to ask Dominic first. Dominique, you there? Yeah, I'm here. What do you think?
F
I think I said I'm from Allentown and I've been listening since the first show because I listen to ZZL all the time, work on Saturdays and I just think you leave it the same, that's all. I like, I like the mix and I like. I don't just like music all the time.
D
Why do you not hate. Why do you not hate us since we're from Dallas and you're from Pennsylvania?
F
No. That's one reason why. That's one reason why I listen, because I love hearing your opinion and your Dallas opinion.
D
Okay.
F
It's just funny, you know?
D
So.
F
So what you guys talk about.
D
Is Ron Jerorski, your lord and savior.
F
Oh, he's a man. You ain't kidding.
E
Yes.
D
Jaws. Jaws is nothing compared to Tony Romo. That's why we have Tony Romo's dad right here. Tony Romero. These people that like Jorski, I mean, what. What are they tripping on?
E
You know, when Tony was a child, just a little quarterback, he have a poster of Jahorski on his bedroom wall. This made him want to play the football more than anything. He already have a helmet.
D
And a helmet.
E
Yes.
D
Okay.
E
You know, he's smoother. Poor mother.
B
Poor mother.
E
She's German. Polish. And so Antonio is a little acid in prone. So she always insist that he wear his helmet because he break his bones. He fall down all the time.
D
Yeah.
E
Yes. He once bumped his head on the kitchen sink.
D
How'd that happen?
E
From the living room.
B
From the living room, yes.
E
He fell so far, he failed 22ft into the kitchen sink. He almost drowned. This is why he wears the breather to bed.
B
The one breather.
E
The breather. A breather. The Halfley breather. Wear around his neck a breather for him. Like a Darth Vader.
B
Like a Darth Vader thing.
D
Does he breathe through a hole in his throat?
E
Yes. And he is a funky, funky, funky.
D
Clover dj have you ever seen those guys that smoke pot through the hole? They're tracheonomy.
B
Oh, my God.
E
I am a Mexican.
D
Yeah.
E
I have seen pot smoked in every single way known to man. I'm no proud or tired.
D
I know a guy who used to smoke pot through the hole in his throat.
E
On his tracheotomy, we used to use a pineapple.
B
Just don't care about life anymore.
E
But watch how for the spikes.
B
Yeah, they'll get you.
D
Coming back after these messages, more cars and less BS. Or maybe I got that backwards. My name's John Clay, Introduction to myself. We're in Dallas, Texas, and we buy cars in your city. And we're going to do more cars and less BS and his name's JD and he's famous. And his name's Bobo. And he has a lot of good impersonations. And we've been doing this for 11 years. Next month. So we're just getting started.
E
Watch that pineapple.
H
The John Clay Wolf show. Call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234, or online@givemetheven.com.
D
So, J.D.
B
Yes, John?
D
You looked up the Colts tour.
B
I did. The cult. Where did you see them now?
D
Shreveport, Louisiana.
B
Shreveport, Louisiana. Night before last. The night before last would have been a Thursday night. Very odd. So you think maybe they're only doing small venues tonight? They're in Prior, Oklahoma.
D
Which is that. Rocklahoma.
B
Rocklahoma.
D
That's a big event.
B
That is a big event. Then they go to Spain, Italy, Croatia, Austria, Hungary, Czech Republic, Switzerland, Italy and Portugal.
D
They're just on a horror.
B
They're huge. I guess over there they're on a HO tour. HOR tour.
D
H tour 2017. John Anderson in the. In the Steely Dan. A 98 Mustang Pro Charge. Pro Charge. So it's got a supercharger on it. Trevor.
F
Yes, sir.
D
I need to see it. What do you want for it? Just five grand. Buy it.
F
Probably not five.
D
Okay, then. Then we're done talking. Okay, everybody. Good morning. 800. I hit him high just to see what he would say. And he's like, starts buckling on. On. On the high number. It's a 98 sting. It's 98.
E
98.
D
98.
B
20 years old, right?
D
So I hit him for more than probably what it'll bring just to see what his opinion is. And he started waffling on that, so we hung up on him. My name is John Clay Wolf. More cars and less. Less BS more cars, less BS top 10 of 10.
B
Top 10 or 10? Let me go get Casey. Casey. Good morning, John.
D
How you doing? Better be car related.
B
Casey, you know what's funny? You say that Casey heard the. The big memo, so he's gonna do a top 10. That's all car related.
D
Oh, good.
B
Fair enough. Because we want less BS Actually, one. This is a kind of interesting story this week. One in ten people are now selling their cars. They're not buying a new car. Guess what they're doing.
D
Walking.
B
No, I'm kidding. They're ubering. Everybody's ubering. So they're selling their cars. They're not buying a new car. So here's the top 10 ways you can tell if your car sucks if yours is a. Like the little jingle says.
D
Pos.
B
All right. At number 10, people behind you change lanes to keep your oil off their windshield. Number nine, tractor trailer drivers are afraid to Pass you. Number eight, opening your trunk you includes finding a screwdriver. Number seven, the EPA cited you for the oil slick in your driveway. Number six, you drive a Saturn and really should have named it a Uranus. You find out PT in cruiser stands for part time as the safari drive thru. Monkeys won't throw poop on you because we'll be redundant. You've been chased down by a fire truck. Number two, it says Le Baron anywhere on it. You have ever parked on the side of the road and somebody stops to ask if you're injured? And there's the top 10 ways you know if your car is a piece of junk?
D
Are you injured?
B
Yes. You like the monkey one the best.
D
Uber's losing money.
B
Are they really?
D
How do you lose money? How do you lose money when everybody's using your service and it's not that cheap?
C
Poorly run grand.
D
It's not that cheap. It's. It's less than a cat.
B
It's less than a cat.
D
But it's not like.
B
No, it's not free. Yeah, right.
D
Uber doesn't have an inventory cost. Yeah, they can. How are they losing money? How do you lose money when you have no inventory?
B
It's like when you see a liquor store go out of business. You go. How did that happen?
C
When you have your CEO beating the hell out of somebody in one of their Uber rides. I mean, that doesn't. That's not good.
B
Oops. Did that happen?
C
Yeah.
D
Did that really drop top?
C
Participation, I mean, it just tells you.
D
How poorly they're ran. Yeah, I agree, but. Or did it. Or did they get more business off of it because of the publicity? That's pretty bad publicity. Yeah, when the CEO's beating up the customers.
B
Okay, so Uber.
D
Hang on just a second. What the hell do you want? Sir, who's this on line one? Hello? Yeah, what do you want?
F
I.
D
What do you got? What have you got? Get it straight. Call me back when you got your substrate.
B
Are you having a heart attack?
D
What was that? Who's the next one? Who's this? Hi, Dan. What do you want? Why are you calling me? Why you bothering me?
F
Oh, I want to bother you because I want to hear some more Satan. Some more Ronnie James deal. Satan.
D
Ronnie James Dio Satan. So you think more BS and less cars?
F
Yes, sir. More bs, less cars.
D
We have a impasse of opinions here. Where are you listening to us, Dan?
F
I live in Lake Worth. I listen to you guys about a couple hours every Saturday.
D
Good, we're glad that. Did you used to hear us on the Eagle. Or were we new to you when we joined zps?
F
No. Yeah, yeah. I heard y' all on the Eagle.
D
Okay.
F
Glad y' all left that eagle.
D
Yeah. Hi, this is Bo.
B
Commercials.
D
All right. Drive in, Satan. We have a request for you. We're gonna let you bid this next one, Satan.
C
Oh, wow.
D
It's a nice one, Satan. It's going straight.
A
I'd like to say it's about time.
D
800. If you want Satan to bid your car, call 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Edward, good morning.
F
Good morning. How are you?
D
Good. Good. I'm gonna let my co host here bid your car.
B
Cool.
F
Okay.
A
What have you got there, my soon to be best friend?
F
A 2001 Chevrolet. 1500 bum.
A
Good. A 2001 Chevrolet. I got a neat story about 2001 Chevrolet.
B
Really?
A
Yeah, really. One time I bought one of those. You wouldn't believe what I found in the toolbox.
B
The devil bought what? What was in the toolbox?
A
Gary Coleman. No, that was a funny. I'll tell you what.
B
What?
A
I'm thinking 2800.
D
What?
F
It does 2800?
A
It does have a toolbox, doesn't it, devil?
D
It has 190,000 miles on it.
A
Oh, okay. 2850.
D
You forgot to ask him if it was extended. Cab around regular.
C
He doesn't need to.
D
Or if it was average. Rough or clean.
A
Of course it's extended.
D
Well, Ed, the. The devil offered you 2800. Are you taking it or not?
F
No, because it's clean. It's got a great paint job, brand new tires, a brand new snug top. Camper cell.
D
Where are you calling from?
F
Edmond, Oklahoma.
D
What's it take to buy it?
F
I say about four.
D
Devil. He wants 4,000.
A
I'll see you in hell before I'll give 4,000 for that truck.
B
Which might happen.
E
Well, we've got that one.
D
There's the first one. Nailed it. I'll see you.
A
Grab me by the horns.
B
Good morning. You're on the air.
F
John.
D
It's Phillip. Hey, Phillip.
F
Hey, I got a question. You're always bidding on cars and buying cars, right? If I hear of a car you're buying that I want to buy, where are you selling them?
D
I don't. I don't. I'm. I don't sell to the public. And I'll tell you why. Do you mean Billy Squire? Handy Turley. We need to play Billy Squire the Stroke in the background. So what happens, Philip, is I have this car. You want this something, and you come and look at our Corvette. And you're like, oh, it's so close to what I want. But if it was yellow, will you go get me the yellow one? So then I go get you the yellow one, and then you don't pay me for it because something happened, and it just, you know, they want to buy from me because I'm the wholesale bottom, right? It's cheaper, but they don't. But with that, you get zero customer service and zero hand holding. I had a guy, I have a friend in the radio business. Okay, you want to buy a car from us? I said, go out to Metro Auto Auction, Dallas. Walk the cars on Monday before the auction and pick out the ones you want. Tell me what you'll give for them. Write it down, and I'll have somebody bid on the next day.
B
Done.
D
So then he called me back and he wanted a list, and he wanted this. He wanted to ask me questions. I'm like, dude, I'm not doing any of that. You got to do it just like I do it. You got to go out and do this yourself.
B
Pick it out.
D
Yeah, you got to do it.
B
Yeah.
D
So I mean, that. That's the answer. That's why I don't retail. I just hold. We're the largest wholesale company in the. In the south, and that's what I do. That's my lane. I stay in my lane. I wholesale you $15 million worth of cars a month, and it's. It's like a crazy commodity trading deal and stopping to jack with an individual on a $300 profit and wind up spending $800 worth of time. I've learned that doesn't work. But I can't hook you up with my dealers that buy from me, and they'll sell you the car. Make sure.
F
Well, I appreciate your time, man. I appreciate your show. I love listening to you, y'.
D
All. Where do you hail from, sir?
F
I'm downtown Houston right now, but I live in Humble.
D
Humble. Got it. Thanks for tuning in. 8008-0072-3480-0800, Radio Devil. We've got a 12 Tundra also.
E
Ooh.
D
Kevin Bruce on line one. Satan no line 2012 Tundra y Bruce.
A
That's a really hot truck.
B
That's. You like it?
D
Really?
B
The devil digs it.
A
Is that. Is that the SR5.
D
Kevin? Is it an SR5? You t. You. You pay attention when Satan's talking to you.
F
Got the 4.6 V8.
D
All right. Is it a. Is it a two wheel drive or four?
F
It's two wheel drive, big back door.
D
Small.
F
Yeah, big back doors.
D
Okay, so it's the. The double cab. Long one. And it's a. It's got the smaller deal. Is it leather? Cloth.
F
It's cloth. I got107,000 miles on it. I just got a new job and I'm looking to dump this one.
D
Satan, I think he needs. You need to offer him in 10,000.
A
Bruce, I'd like to offer you 10,000, but I've only got eight.
F
You can't do 13 or 14?
D
I'm sorry.
A
Me and the old lady went out to see you too last night. Little light, a little cash, but damn that edge can play that guitar.
D
Bruce. Bruce. Go to giveme the vin.com and load it up. Let's take a look. If it takes 13. Say it tur. Take 13. Here's the pictures and we'll make a decision.
E
Tundra.
F
Good deal.
D
Thanks, man.
E
Get you a Toyota Tundra.
D
Jonathan. A 07 Kia Spectre with 140 on it. I think. If I give you a hundred, will you just keep it?
F
Yeah, I'll keep it.
D
All right. I ain't gonna give you 100, but I don't want it. No, no, no, it ain't me, baby. It ain't me you're looking for, baby. 07 tundra. I mean a Kia whatever with a hundred and.
B
Oh, brand new. It's fresh.
D
Good morning, everybody. My name is John Clay Wolf and.
B
His name is J.D. ryan.
D
This is Bo.
B
I'm Jim. Good morning.
D
Your morning glory, morning glory and morning wood right here. Saturday mornings. How. What. When's the NBA finals? The next round. Tuesday.
C
Yes, it's all the playoffs before that. Just a. Basically a buffer for the actual finer. I mean a clean Cleveland. Cleveland everybody thought was gonna be Cleveland vs. Golden State and actually it's probably one of the most star studded finals since the Celtics if you think about it. Celtics, Lakers and 87. Yeah, you got LeBron, you got Kyrie, Irvin, you got Kevin Love, then Kevin Durant, Steph Curry.
D
I mean it's a.
C
It's a hell of a. I think it's gonna be a hell of a series. It's gonna go seven, same as last year.
D
Yeah, it's just the extension.
G
What's the line on that game?
C
Oh, man, you know what? I forgot, Randy, you got that gambling problem.
B
Don't you monkeys get there?
G
It's not a problem, it's a. You know, there's a. The solution to the problem is more money.
C
Well, Golden State is favored in the Series. So, yeah, I would go ahead and put money on Cleveland, though.
G
I don't know about Golden State Warriors.
A
Why?
G
That's the ugliest uniform in the NBA.
D
Is that really? Don't you think?
B
Is that how you bet?
F
Maybe it is.
D
It really is.
B
But maybe that's the problem. He's betting on uniform colors.
G
Hey.
B
Hey.
D
What?
G
Don't be knocking my handicap.
D
This a business, man.
B
When you say you got a monkey on your back, you really have a monkey.
G
He sounds just like my old lady, Like I don't know what I'm doing. Hey, you. I may be a couple thousand down.
B
A couple.
G
But the finals are toosy. It's looking up.
B
No, it's not.
G
I've been up to Indian Casino.
B
You lose every year.
G
No, I'm playing that black jacket.
D
Daddy.
B
How you doing?
G
I'm 60 bucks up.
B
60 up?
G
Yeah.
D
Yeah.
G
It took about $400 in five hours, right?
B
You're 60 up.
G
I drink a lot of well vodka.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
G
You got the well vodka.
B
No, it's the well vodka.
G
See, there's good vodka.
B
Yeah, of course.
D
Absolutely.
B
Absolute gray goose, all that.
G
Great goose.
D
Yeah.
G
Get your little score.
E
Skoal.
G
It's really cheap, but it's really good. But the well vodka that they get the Indian casino, right? I don't even think it's vodka.
B
Probably not.
G
Oh, you can't taste the taters in it.
B
No.
G
Well, let's make it out of corn.
D
Rush Limbaugh still on the Istn. We can ask him.
E
John.
D
Yes.
E
What the hell was that?
D
That's Randy the Chipmunk talking about his taste in vodka. We know that you're a vodka drinker because earlier you gave us a step by step example on how to dip your pretzels into absolute and then crush them up on the table and snort them.
E
You do that too?
D
No, no, no, no, no, no. But I was just. I, I. We've had a lot of feedback on.
E
That this morning because I invented that.
D
So you, you take pretzels and you dip them in straight vodka. You bet. And then you chop them up and you snort the pretzels.
E
Best way to go. That's what's called a cold shot. Stevie Ray Vaughan had a song about it.
B
Really? Yep.
E
That's a cold shot, babe.
B
That's what that was about.
E
That's a cold shot, babe.
B
I'm not sure that's.
E
Look.
B
What is it?
E
You gotta relax on the weekend.
D
Hold on, Randy. We'll be right back to you.
E
We don't.
D
We haven't quit you yet upset? You gotta relax on the weekend.
E
Sure, I mean I try. And it doesn't have to be a pretzel.
B
Pretzel, no.
E
But the thing about Doritos, they get too wet too fast.
B
Oh, okay.
E
See and so you have to go a half a Dorito at a time and it just takes all damn day long.
B
So pretzels a better way to go.
E
Yeah. And you know that Dorito powder?
B
Yeah, it's got a little burn to it.
D
Yeah, it does.
E
And that hurts. Hurts my soul.
D
Real quick, what vodka do you prefer? Rush?
E
Absolute.
D
Okay, Randy, what's your yours? I kind of like.
G
Well, vodka at the Indian casino.
B
I thought you didn't like that.
G
You, you give it to for free.
B
If you do give it to you.
G
Free, go play poker for a couple hours, drink all the vodka you can.
B
You're down $340. I mean you could have bought some.
D
And it's.
E
They don't give you a lot of.
G
Vodka out there like you know, fast. I think a kind of prejudice against chipmunks.
B
No, no. Yeah, they don't give anything.
D
Randy, I'm getting a message from the program director. He's reminding me more cars and less BS And I think that this, this segment is starting to turn into maybe too much BS on chipmunks and Russian vodka.
G
I agree. He'll find you another tundra.
D
Tony. An O2F 150 extended cab with 200 on it's worth about 100 bucks. Maybe five, maybe eight. Car, you're going to hurt yourself. You're never gonna get laid in a truck like that ever. You'll never have children, you'll never procreate. You'll never be anything if you don't get out of that truck.
F
That's what I'm trying to do.
D
We'll get the hell out of that and get you a woman and have some babies so you can really stay broke. Oh, eight Toyota Corolla S with 132. Rodney, what's your payoff?
F
Eight is 100.
D
Good, good, good. Oh wait. If it's real nice, I'm two thousand dollar guy. No, I'm not. I'm more than that. I'm sorry. What's 10 year old Toyota Corolla with 132? How much is it?
F
I'm sorry, say it again. How much is it looking for by 25?
D
Yeah, I'll probably buy that. Go to give me the v I n. Givemethe vin.com. load it up. Say John, I told him it takes 25. 500 on the radio. He said send him some pictures. What. What part of Louisiana?
F
How about 20 miles southeast of Lafayette?
D
Okay, we've got an office over there behind the Harley store in Lafayette. Lafayette, Grace in Arkansas. 97 Ford Mustang with 140000 miles. Man, that's just pushing it. That's pushing it.
F
Yeah.
D
Pushing it.
B
Push it.
D
I don't need. I don't need that.
F
Luckily you don't have to push it though.
D
Yeah. Even want it. But I love you for calling in from Arkansas. But I don't want it. I don't want it.
A
I don't want it.
D
I don't want it. 800-807. I mean 9750. Junk. Junk. SS is exactly that. Yeah. And there's just nothing. I mean, you know, I can give you 300 for it. But you're going to call me bad names.
B
They're not going to like you did all the work.
D
You a 12 Chevy Express van with leather and 41,000 miles. Glenn, is it a conversion?
F
Yeah, no, it was just a passenger van.
D
Why do you have this? Do you have a lot of children? Do you work for church or what?
F
Well, no, I live in the. In Texas and I had a few children but Boy scout stuff. Barely used it. Summer camp, few trips over the border. You know, I have like a lot of secret compartments if you know what I mean. In it.
D
I'm a 15 grand barglin and I'll give 20 of us loaded down with dope. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. My name is John Clay Wolf and his name's J.D. ryan. Bob O. We'll be right back.
E
You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up powered by givemethevin.com.
D
You know that only the good die, baby. I've been buying cars off dealers descriptions for 20 years, off the radio for 10. Why can't I buy yours off a picture on my website givemetheven.com because I can. That car you didn't trade in that truck your dad had. The family truckster that Aunt Edna died in. If you don't check with give me the VIN first, you may need to get your head checked. We are the best buyer on cars side. Unsurprising scene top money. And if we don't beat carmax, we owe you 100 bucks.
E
Sell us your car. You need a bin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.
H
The John Clay Wolf show. Call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or online at givemethe fin.com 12F150.
D
Good morning, Norman, Oklahoma. 450 gas. 80, 000 miles. Leather nav, no sunroof, crew cab. How many miles? 80. What color, Travis?
F
Tuxedo black.
D
Tuxedo black. And it's a two wheel driver? Four.
F
Four wheel drive.
D
22, 22, 22, 21, 22. Does that sound right?
E
Yeah.
F
I owed about 22 and a half.
D
Half on it. Load it up into givemetheven.com let's do some business. 12 Malibu LT with 50 on it. Lisa, is it leather? Cloth.
F
It's cloth.
D
12 12. I'm trying to get that body style on my head. No, it's cloth. No roof. What color?
F
It's gray.
D
678. 678. 678,000. Okay.
F
I. I went to the website not to long ago and didn't hear anything back, so I just wanted to call in and check.
D
I'm sorry. That's weird because we have this new system up that'll automatically bid it immediately. Did it not do that for you? No, because now if you put the VIN number in, you push go, it'll throw you a quick range immediately so you don't have to wait for your buyer. He'll call you back with specifics. Go load it up again. Try it again. I want to buy it. Where are you from?
F
Tomball, Texas.
D
Have you had any other opinions? No. Okay, we'll come to your house, we'll bring you a check. Do you have a payoff or is there. Do you have a title?
F
I have a title.
D
Yep. We'll do the whole thing like Domino's Pizza, where you don't even have to get out of your underwear. That's why we have that stupid slogan on our commercial. It's so easy. You can do it from your underwear.
A
Nice.
C
Yeah.
F
Okay, great. Well, thank you.
D
Thank you. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Oh, six, seven Nissan Titan with 212 Travis. It's got so many miles on them, you have to see it. Can you go to the website and load it up?
F
Okay.
D
All right, man. My name is John Claywolf. I buy cars right here on this station in your town. And we do have curbside service. And guess what? Our checks clear fast. Be right back.
E
You know, it just ain't Saturday without the wolf man on the radio. The there's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up, powered by GiveMeTheVin.com.
D
Remember@givemetheven.com not only do we have an automated system, it'll bid your car instantly, but we will come to your house, office, wherever, and pick it up with a check. We're immediate, we're sight unseen, we're over the phone and we come to you like a pizza delivery boy. If we don't beat carmax, we owe you a hundred dollar check. That's how much I believe in what we're doing. GiveMeThe. Vin.com is the best wholesale site to sell your car to in the world.
E
Sell us your car. Giveme the vin.com so easy you can do it in your underwear.
H
The John Clay wolf show. Call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800, 800 RADIO. That's 800-800-723, or online at givemetheven.com.
D
Memorial Day weekend is among us. My wife and kids are out of town for not one, not one, not two, not two, not three, not four. How many? Five weeks. Five weeks. Five weeks, man. Five weeks. So that gives me time to go, like go to rehab and then come back.
B
You actually do have time.
D
Yeah.
B
No one would know.
D
I mean, so I've got two weeks of party and then three weeks of rehab.
A
Perfect.
D
Perfect.
E
Nice.
D
I get to be five weeks, no wife and kids.
B
What are you gonna do?
D
I don't know. I've never really had a drug problem, but I've been considering it.
B
It's always fun to try.
D
James, good morning. You're on the air.
F
Hello.
D
Hello. What have you? 17 Mustang, California special with 5. What color do I. What color is it?
F
Ruby red.
D
Okay. Where?
F
Ruby red.
D
Ruby red. Bring him up, Turley. Is it 30 grand?
F
No.
D
Well, you laugh, James, but I've had two of them in the past 72 hours. Same thing. All right, so how much is it?
F
I think I would say think it's 38.
D
Okay, click 800-800-7, 2, 3, 4. I'm thinking 32 cars are depreciable. Depreciable assets.
B
Yes, they are.
D
They do not go up in value. And just because you buy the prettiest one at the dealership that's brand new, you're still going to get that new car depreciation. I hear you. That's why they hate car salesman is because that's why when I got it, when I started started when I had Wolf Dodge, I liked doing that. Because we sold Cummins trucks.
B
Yeah.
D
And they didn't appreciate that bad. It was the least appreciating asset in the business. So when people came back to trade in, they weren't throwing rocks.
B
They were all happy. Yeah, but yeah, nobody sees that. Nobody sees a car dealer and goes, oh boy.
D
If you go out and buy a brand new Mustang, buddy, you are fixing to lose money.
B
What's the, what's the worst one to buy? I would think the high end stuff like the Jaguar. You talked about Tesla.
D
Tesla, absolutely. Elon Musk is a con man.
B
Really?
D
Yeah, really.
B
I mean, what do they run for?
D
It's a pretty strong statement, but it is, you know, 100 grand. And then three months later they're worth 50. Tesla stock is equal to General Motors market cap right now. Oh my God. It's ridiculous. They, they launch rockets and they blow up on the pad. Often a rocket X. And Tesla is, It's a bleeder. Nobody wants a freaking hybrid, bud. Nobody cares.
B
Now gas is too much.
D
Nobody wants it. We might be forced upon it, but this. Everybody makes Fisker. The Fisker car.
B
Yeah.
D
I mean, how many millions of dollars have to be lost before you guys realize they don't want hybrids? The Toyota hippie teacher guys, they'll buy them. They like them, they want them. Turley wants one, I'm sure. But, but, but that, that, that's his own segment. The Escalade hybrid is a loser. Nobody like Donald Trump loser.
E
There's no Escalade hybrid.
D
Of course there isn't. No, but they can't really sell them new. They still have 15 models that were unsold. The Tahoe hybrid is a loser. Everything is a loser. Tesla is a loser.
B
Gotcha. And that's huge. I can't believe 50 in three years.
D
Three years. I said three once.
B
Oh my God.
D
When I get called during the week, hey man, I know you don't want to bid this, but somebody's got to. What is it, a Tesla?
F
Yeah.
D
Ferrari. Store calls the Lambo star Carls. The leasing company calls, you know, what do you do? I said just take MMR and cut it in half.
E
Have you ever been around one in the flesh?
D
Yeah.
E
Because, I mean, I'm curious of course, because I've never seen one.
D
They're like the rich people go out and buy them high because they want to be the first kid on the block with something and then they realize what they bought. It's not that. It's a piece of junk. Why buy a car that you have to have a tow truck follow you around?
B
Geez, that pad.
D
What's going to run out of electricity.
B
JD that's true.
D
Where the hell are we going to go? I mean this is not rock science. No pun Elon.
E
I drive mine to the donut shop.
D
Every day cuz I'm a multi millionaire and I can show off that I have a golf cart that has license plates. I mean that I gave 150 grams. This is the stupid as that stuff.
E
At least they don't kill a bunch of birds.
D
8008-072348-00800 radio. Uncle Waldo, we missed it. Oh no, we missed, absolutely missed it. We can do it next segment. Should we do it next segment?
E
Sure.
D
All right. We're supposed to do this segment. Sorry.
E
John Wolf steel guitar My name is.
D
John Clay Wolf and I don't I, I, I, I buy Teslas on air. Call me and I'll hurt your feelings on one. Hey Blaine, a 12 Colorado extended cat with 79. Is it two wheel drive or four?
F
It's two wheel drive.
D
Is it a Z71 tool drive?
F
No, it's just the LP.
D
Is it the. Okay, does it have leather cloth?
F
It has cloth.
D
I'm thinking 10 grand. I need to see pictures. See pictures. I need a VIN and I need pictures. Can you go to givemetheven.com and load it up for me?
F
Sure thing.
D
Thanks man. 800800 radio. Just go to give the VIN.com. be right back.
E
You know it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Clay Wolf show coming up. Powered by GiveMeTheven.com.
D
Doctor, doctor, give me the news I got a bad case loving you no pills gonna kill my well tell me why. Why? Everybody's listening. You've sold us cars before. How did the process work?
F
Oh, smooth as can be, man. Sold through my one of my mother's cars on my brother's cars. One of my own. Literally. David, you came and picked it up and had a check for me.
D
The key thing we did what we said we would do. So that's what I that that's what I'm trying to get across people because people think this is too good to be true because you know, hey, I.
F
Tell everybody, call John Clay Wolf.
E
Sell us your car so easy you can do it in your underwear.
H
The John Clay Wolf show. Call at 800800 radio. At 800800 radio. That's 800-800-7234 or online@givemetheven.com.
D
I saw Johnny Cooper the other day. I haven't seen him in a long time. Texas to you is the name of this song. If you guys don't know what the hell it is. It's a young kid who had a hit about, what, 10 years ago?
E
Been that long?
D
It's been a while. Julie. A 13 TDI Jetta with a stick. Good morning.
F
Yes, sir.
D
I think it's worth. I think it's worth, just off the top of my head. Seven thousand, eight thousand. Did you get your Volkswagen money on it yet?
F
I haven't, and that's what I'm trying to decide whether to do.
D
Well, they offer it. They're paying a ton.
F
Yeah, I just want to make sure it's right.
D
Yo, it is. No, you need to go back with them and take their money because they're like, they're overpaying for cars big time on the buyback program. Thank you.
E
Bam.
D
So, like, these vws that haven't had the money claimed against them are bringing $25,000 at the auction. And then if they do have the money claimed against them, they're bringing like, 15. So when you buy it and you're looking at auction results, you got to make sure. You got to find out if it's already been tagged.
B
Yeah.
D
If it's had the buyback stuff applied. It's weird.
B
Huge difference.
D
Ryan03f250 can you go to the website and load it up so I can see it? I don't want to. That truck's so old with so many miles. I want to bid it. Right. I need to see it.
F
All right, that's not a problem. It's in nectar condition, so. Yeah, I'll do that.
D
Okay. Give me the vin.com and 11xlt4door EcoBoost. Jeremy Lafayette. Good morning.
F
Good morning. And I actually, I've already uploaded it to the vin, so it should have uploaded pictures online.
D
What?
E
What?
D
What did the system tell you when you went into it?
F
I uploaded it up and it didn't really do anything. It just kind of sent me back to the home screen, put my VIN number back in.
D
It didn't flash. It didn't flash. You a green screen that showed you what we're offering? Offering. And send you an email with that followed up?
F
No, sir.
D
Something's wrong. Try it again. I want to do it. That's weird. Call me back. That's weird. What were you. Were you on a phone or a computer? What kind of phone? A Droid.
F
Yes, sir.
D
All right. We've been having a little bit of problems with droids. It's. It's all the damn browsers. There's so many different browsers and different softwares. Chrome browser. Yeah, it's about 12 grand. Off the top of my head. 12. 13. Uncle Waldo.
B
Uncle Waldo.
D
Uncle Waldo.
E
Waldo.
D
Dear John, I listen to the show every Saturday. You guys are great. Uncle Waldo's funny, but does not compare to Tony Romo's dad. Please do not kill off Tony Romo's dad. For uncle Waldo. Really love Sleepless in Houston. So we don't care.
E
Here's the thing, cutie pie. Nobody's killing off nobody. They're all fake people, okay?
B
They're not. For all you lovers of the fine arts, it's time for the wolf show players to draw back the curtain and share the story of our dear friends. Nymphia scooter pies. Summer vacation. We open with a luscious little nymphia scooter by and a pet chipmunk having a leisurely stroll through the forest.
D
Is it a lovely day for walking the trees?
G
Yeah, I like hiking around. I just hope there ain't no wild animals.
B
Ah, but just around the next bend, our little nymphia and her friend are shocked and appalled when they stumble upon a huge grizzly bear. Having a bit of a nature call? Well, yeah, that kind of nature call.
D
God almighty, that's a big one.
B
And that looks like a big old number two nature call.
D
Yeah. Well, hey there, guys. Run. Empty run.
B
But to our surprise, the beast turns out to be a friendly bear.
D
Ah, don't worry. I ain't gonna hurt you or nothing. I'm just pinching one off.
B
And on these friendly terms. Little Randy begs to question.
D
Hey, can I ask you something?
G
Do you always do that out here? Don't you have trouble with your fur? You know, cleaning up fur?
B
To which the bunny bear replies, I don't know.
D
Let's see. Come here, little buddy. No, no. Come here, Randy. Come here, Randy. I'm gonna use you some toilet paper and show you cleans up pretty good. Looks like.
B
And so concludes our story about the bear in the woods, and the moral of which must be don't ask if you don't really want to know.
D
So a bear does s in the woods.
G
My God.
B
We'll show players the end.
D
Amazing Jack in Houston has a 14 Tesla Model S with 31,000 miles. Hey, Jack.
F
Hey, what's up?
D
Not much. Every Saturday. I guess you heard me talking highly about the resale values of teslas, and I just love them and want to overpay for them.
F
I mean, I'm Trying to get the Model 3 because Elon Musk. I mean, I tweeted him. Yeah, I don't know. CarMax. I paid 89, 000 for it. CarMax offered me 22, 000.
E
Wow.
D
Hey, man, CarMax might give more than me. Are you kidding me? I. I don't know. I don't. I don't have that market memorized. I don't know them in my head. Did you really take it to CarMax?
F
I took it to CarMax. I don't think they. They deal with Tesla as much either.
D
But did they really hit you at 22?
F
They gave me 22 because it only had 31,000. And I. I've kept a garage catch. It's nice.
D
I'll buy it. I mean, I'll buy. They're hitting it, right? I'll give more than CarMax. This I know. I mean, do you want to, like. If I got you 25 grand, would you sell it?
E
Absolutely.
D
All right, then go to the website. Givemetheven.com. let's look.
F
All righty.
D
Here we go. Sitting here cussing Tesla now I'm fixing to buy one.
B
I ain't got one.
D
It's gonna be like the boat.
E
If you don't want to know, don't ask, man.
D
Two years from now, be like, J.D. did you get the Tesla sold? Did you get the Tesla sold? No. The batteries went out.
B
We have a small problem with the john.
D
The electric motor went out.
E
No fluid on there. The.
D
The Liberals stole it. 15 Jeep Cherokee Latitude with 24. Natasha. Good morning. Good morning. I like that name. Natasha. Is that Indian?
B
Natasha?
D
It's Russian. Are you Russian? Can I call you Svetlana?
F
Sure.
D
All right. I like. I like. Sp hailed from Liberty, Texas, and she has a 15 Jeep Cherokee latitude with 24,000 miles. Svetlana, what have they been telling you it's worth? What are we trying to do here? What are we. You want to. You want to move over to America and have a. Have a American boyfriend? Oh, sure. Come on. Come on. Exactly. Sexy and girlfriend. Svetlana, are you married?
F
I'm not.
D
Oh, well, why not?
B
Why not?
D
Do you have your green card?
F
Yes, I actually have it.
D
That's good. Good, good. Go to the website. Load it up. Let's take a pic. Do you want to sell it or do you want to trade this thing in?
F
I'm considering selling, but I want to know what it's worth first.
D
It's off the top of my head. It's worth 15 grand. I need to see it. Though, and see how it's equipped. It's like 13 to 7. 13. 13 to 17. It's a 15 Cherokee latitude. It's like 15 to 13. I think I should look it up. Yeah. Go to givemetheven.com and put, put, put in comments. Svetlana. John called me Svetlana. And then they'll bring it to me and I'll look it up. That's my Russian friend.
E
We're.
D
We're building bridges and tearing down walls across the world.
E
Amen.
D
Sure.
C
She wasn't a spy, though, John.
D
She could have been a spy. She could have been a Russian spy. But if she was, we're still going to buy her car because she's one of our listeners.
B
She is indeed.
D
She's not offended.
B
Some of the headlines that have been bumping. Oh, how long do we have?
D
Minute 14.
B
Oh, we have time. Okay, then. Headlines bumping around. Facebook, are they? Facebook, are they? Folly. This week, this one is Jelly belly. Sorry, a little nymphia scooter pie. Jelly belly sued by a women claim. A woman claiming she didn't know they contain sugar. Is that a real story?
D
They should have called him jelly ass.
B
Jelly Ass. Jelly belly sued by a woman claiming she didn't know jelly beans contain sugar.
D
Wow.
B
Is that a real story? Is that Facebook folly?
D
That's real. Real, real, real. Yeah, Absolutely. Every got a big old gut. Jelly belly. The jelly gave her the belly and then it went to her ass. And she's like, why they didn't call this jelly ass?
B
True story.
D
We gotta go. Happy Easter, Everybody. Hour number four coming up. Houston listeners, jump over to 97.5 for hour number four. We're there. Don't be a. And say, why don't. Why can't I hear you now, number four. All you got to do is jump over to 97. 5, because we're on two stations in Houston and station number two carries our number four, 97.5. Everybody else, go to iHeartMedia. You stream the bear in Wichita Falls, Texas. 104. 4.7 off iHeart Media player. And we are going in now. Number four, Dallas. Wzzo, the Brew guys up in Oklahoma City. Rocklahoma's this weekend. Have fun up there. Tulsa in Oklahoma City. Rock out with your. Oh, no, we gotta go. We'll be right back.
E
He'd never keep a bird in a cage because they're not going to marinate themselves in there. If wrestling is fake, he'll kiss your ass after knocking your ass out with a folding metal chair for his sweetheart's. Birthday. He bought her a razor and a diagram of the secondary commuter landing strip at Love Field. He is the world's biggest son of a bitch. Hey, man, I don't always drink beer, but when I do make mine a natty light. Tall boy.
D
Yeah, buddy. I didn't get that one. A razor in a diagram of an airport.
E
The landing strip.
H
The John Clay Wolf. The John Clay Wolf Show. Call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800-RADIO. That's 800-800-7234, online@givemethevin.com.
D
Landing Strip.
E
This is a razor, and this is a landing strip. Let's see what Tanya does with her new razor. Look, a landing strip.
D
Keeping it classy right here on this station every Saturday morning.
E
You stay classy here, Houston.
D
You stay classy. Speaking of wrestling, who do you think has the most passionate fans for wwe? Louisiana or Oklahoma?
E
That's a tough one.
D
It really is. You can't just answer that quickly. You got to think about that. Who has more wild, passionate fans and has more product knowledge about WWE wrestling?
F
Right, right.
D
Oklahomans or Louisiana? I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with Oklahoma.
E
You think?
D
I think Oklahoma's a little more redneck than Louisiana. Louisiana is a little more backwoods, but Louisiana has a little more class than Oklahoma, if you know the truth.
E
Yeah. Yeah.
D
They have a little more culture. I don't know if it's the Indian thing because they were Canadians. The Oklahomans are the Indians.
E
I think it's the French thing.
D
Something.
E
Yeah.
D
But I would. Yeah. I'm gonna say that Oklahoma's a strongly stronger wrestling community.
C
Who scores higher in the SATs? Which state?
D
No idea. That's where you'll figure it out. I'm gonna go with. I'm gonna go with Louisiana Heartbeat. Louisiana's not as bad as. Well, it is. I just need to shut up on my head.
E
I don't like what y' all said about Oklahoma.
D
What? What about it?
A
Well.
E
Well, y' all think he's so good because you got Jim Bowie and everything. And we got the Oklahoma City Thunder.
D
You lost Kevin Durant play basketball. You couldn't keep Kevin Durant.
E
Ah, ain't in the finals. We don't want to be in finals.
D
Y' all aren't even a real state.
E
Golden State Warriors.
D
You're a reservation.
E
They ain't got no self respect boy.
D
In the state of Oklahoma. The title on a car. The lean.
B
Yeah.
D
You can't tell if it's got that one. Why? Because the way the Government works and the sales tax works. What? It's screwy up there, man. A lot of things are screwy in Oklahoma. Oklahoma is a weird place. Oklahoma's like your friend's ranch, like a big ranch that just happens to have a city in it.
E
Like the Vatican just happens to have a city.
D
It's really weird. Like a hillbilly Vatican. Yeah, it's just really weird. It's like no man's land when you go across the river. If in the Kona Town, Texas, St. Joe lands 3, 500 an acre. You go across the river, it goes to 1500 an acre.
B
Really that drastic?
D
So open market says a lot. Open market pricing. Why would the land be just dropped half price, half 100 yards away? Something's wrong, Something's up. Something's wrong. Is it Barry Switzer? Is it the Boss? Is it Kevin Durant? I don't know, but something's up.
B
You know the rules.
D
Every time we cross that red river, boy, boy, your mama goes to running around on me and I start stealing things.
B
You know, the casinos up there are. It's different rules than like say Vegas.
D
There, everything's left handed.
B
If there, if there's a problem with a, say a payoff. Channel 8 in Dallas to the story on this. There's a payoff jackpot came up, said you just won $10,000. The guy comes to the thing, he says, no, I'm sorry, that machine is not functioning correct. Directly. And they didn't pay the guy. And guess where you get to take it to?
D
To the Indian tribal review.
B
Exactly.
D
It's like Star Wars.
B
And they say, no, I'm sorry, you don't get any cash. Have a nice day.
E
You sit on the floor and smoke a peace pie.
D
It's like an episode of Battlestar Galactic where you go to the interbunal tribute.
B
Any issues with the casinos? You go to the tribal community.
D
Ridiculous. The whole thing's.
E
That's awesome.
D
Tom, good morning, you're on the air. I lost him. Tommy there. Tom? Tom? Tom, you there? My fault. Tom from New Jersey with the Dodge truck called me back and I'll take it.
E
Cell service is funny in Oklahoma.
D
Taxes are in Oklahoma. Laws are funny in Oklahoma.
E
It's like a whole nother country up there.
D
It's a weird place. It's scary.
E
I mean, you can have a ball.
D
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
E
Yes. You know what's the. That first town when you're coming back, like from St. Louis.
D
Toll Road 1, Toll Road 2. Take a ride on Toll Road 3. And then go up Toll Road 4 and you're there.
E
What is that? Is that Tulsa out there?
D
That's about it.
E
I came through there like at 10:31 night and that big. Is it a Hard Rock Casino they've got in Tulsa? I swear to God, I'm not making it up, but you're right. It was beautiful.
B
Oh, it's gorgeous.
D
Tulsa is kind of a cool place.
E
I was wishing I had time to stop and hang around. It was beautiful. It looked.
B
It felt like. Are all pretty.
E
I assume Vegas feels like.
D
Man. 800. 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. 800.
E
I like Oklahoma. I don't think we should rag on Oklahoma.
D
Am I ragging?
B
No, no.
D
I think it's the footballer in me. Coming up.
E
My first wife was from Oklahoma. And that was the best 90 days of my life.
B
There we go.
E
Really was.
D
I had this little Chevy store in Marietta, Oklahoma. And I had it for a couple of years. Years. And I had so much problem with it. Wolf Chevrolet.
B
Yeah.
D
That I got a bad taste in my mouth. And that's really where my beef comes from.
B
Just Oklahoma things in general.
D
I got robbed real bad up there and looted via. In. In the way the whole thing was handled in the state agency in the banking department. And everything that was. Was surrounding this deal had different sets of rules that were not in my favor.
B
Not in your favor.
D
Because I was from Texas. And that. That. That's really where my problem is. It's not. I think the girls are plenty good looking up there, especially the ones with teeth. But the banking laws and the DMV laws and. And you know, it's like. It's like trying to do business in. In Europe. And you're not from there. When you get there, like, yeah, you're screwed.
B
You're out.
D
Yeah. If you're out, you're out. And that's my problem. Maybe if I was from Oklahoma or born up there or actually got laid up there or something.
E
Something then.
D
Then I would have a different opinion.
E
We should try. We should do a remote for the. For the Oklahoma City station.
D
Yeah.
E
Go up there and hang around. They got casinos.
D
Here's what we need to do. Bob, I got an idea. Okay. Do you mean weed?
E
No.
D
Okay. Because I was gonna smoke one with you.
E
Stuff's illegal.
D
Then I was gonna give you this. This pitch.
B
Okay.
D
I think we need to have a concert.
B
A concert?
D
A concert.
B
Like rock?
D
Yeah.
B
Okay.
E
Right here in Como.
D
Right. So I think we need to get a big band. We need to have our show. Concert listener party. And we need to have Thursday night in Oklahoma City, Friday night in Dallas, Texas. Saturday night in Houston, Texas. And get a big band and put on a big show and make it like bigger than what you would expect. Like get the real band.
B
Huh? Like what would be a real band?
D
Well, I've been talking. I was talking to Pearl Jam's guys this week.
B
Damn.
D
Awesome.
B
That'd be a real band.
D
Yeah, I mean we're talking like go ahead and do it.
E
Rock and Roll hall of Fame.
D
Well, string a, string a, string a tour through here and let's just go ahead, cuz. One, one, one problem with our situation. A lot of people like our shtick, but a lot of people don't know we're here. True.
B
There's no promotion.
D
It's time to go ahead and do something splashy and get on the map. Cuz I'm tired of this. Less cars or more Cars? Less bs. They want more BS and less cars. I know. Know that. And I'm going to prove it. And you know how I'm going to prove it? I'm going to prove it with Pearl Jam.
B
Wow. That's huge.
E
Great.
D
Eddie. Eddie Veter, why did you be us? Why did you be ass.
E
Reese's.
D
Reese's. Now you keep singing about candy bars, but you're really not overweight.
E
I love a candy bar. Oh, my nougat.
D
Eddie Veter, did you have any suicidal thoughts this week? With all your, you know, you're the last one. We. We. It's our job to keep you alive. It's my personal job to keep you alive. Yeah.
E
Home. The caramel.
D
Caramel. What?
E
Feel my caramel.
D
Listen, Eddie better shut up about candy. I'm talking to you. Seriously. I don't want you to you to kill yourself. And I don't want you to talk about candy bars. Yeah.
E
Talking more him.
C
Understand.
E
Sugar.
D
So hard to understand him. I know. Eddie, are you high? Can you not speak? Is something wrong with you? Are you suicidal?
A
I what?
D
Are you suicidal?
E
Oh, man.
B
Okay, man.
D
Well, I. You're just so damn out of it. I keep trying to talk to you. All you want to do is talk about candy bars.
E
Just had my head done.
D
James Brown. Let me jump back twice and kiss myself.
E
Give me pretzels.
D
So would you, Eddie, would you be willing to do a three day tour through Texas? Texas? Well, in Oklahoma. Oklahoma City, Dallas and Houston. How hungry? I don't want to overprice the tickets because that's. You guys get so greedy.
B
Oh, you there.
D
You make the tickets so expensive that nobody can afford it. The U2 thing last night, did you hear him say 300 bucks for him and his wife?
B
Really?
D
I mean, that's a week's pay for some people.
E
300,000.
D
I think it's going to be a. If you'll do it for 300 grand. 100 a night. I'm in dollars. $300,000 a day was the translation. I think that's going to be more like it. 800. 800-72348. 800 radio. JD do you have any black, white, Latina or other?
B
We don't, but we have some fun news like fidget spinners. Have you heard these? Fidget spinners? Yeah.
E
No.
B
Fidget spinners.
D
Dear God.
B
Not that kind of. These little things that kids are putting on their hands and spinning around to sort of make themselves give themselves something to do. They. They spin around your finger. Well, fidget spinner porn is now the hottest porn. Really?
D
Oh, fidget spinners. They called them rabbits. They had double headers. They had all kinds of stuff.
B
According to pornhub, fidget spinner porn is the hottest thing they have now on their website. The number searches are up almost 300 in the past two weeks. I don't get the fidget spinner porn. I'm not sure how that works. Oh, to the point where 2.5 million people are hunting for fidget spinners porn. Everyday women, by the way, are 19 more likely to search for it.
D
Eddie Vedder. Did you know that JD Used to be a nudist?
B
Oh, used to be.
D
Eddie Vetter. Did you know that JD Used to be a nude? He had a little. Little. Hey, that's why I got Tame the Rabbit.
B
Have you ever been to this place?
D
What place?
B
Resort.
D
I've never done that. Ever. It's, you know, you not feel weird walking around with. No.
B
If actually you walk around with clothes, after a while, you're the one that feels weird because everybody's naked. And you have to run around the.
D
Tree every once in a while and wipe on it a little bit just to keep it kind of happy.
B
Because you got to realize most of the people there. Think of a Walmart where everybody's naked. Okay.
E
What about the poison oak?
D
Yeah, but think about that moment. Moment when, like, you know, nobody's looking. Yeah. And it's all turtled in and there's nothing going on. And you really, like. Man, I would never want anyone to see it like this right now. That's a bad look.
B
Right, right, right, right.
D
So that you don't look like your handicap fluff Fluff.
B
The moments of fluff.
D
So do you run? I mean, are people running around the trees and fluffing?
B
Probably. There's moments of fluff. I would think so. I'm not sure.
D
I was walking through here, hollow and all.
B
Austin one time in there then.
D
Okay. And there was a guy that had a very odd. Why are people so damn weird? He took rubber bands, he wrapped him around his top and bottom part of his stuff where it was all popped up like a zit. That's.
B
That's so it'll stay engorged.
D
Oh, God, what a bunch of weirdos.
C
Is there a lot of mixed races there?
B
Not really mixed races.
D
That's interesting.
B
Why. Why do you ask?
D
I mean, just figuring it now.
B
It's what we are. It's mostly. It's. It's not balanced. Most nudist resorts are balanced. Men, women, hippie. Hollow is mostly guys.
D
If you were More well endowed, J.D. would you have more time to be at nudist resorts?
B
No, I'm plently. Plenty. Well, that.
D
Oh, he's. Oh, listen to him talk, man. Talking big.
B
You wouldn't go there if you were like, embarrassed by what you got.
D
You're a 250 pound white guy and you're going to tell me you're well earned date pounds.
B
Pounds, first of all. Okay. Yeah. I am actually.
D
Oh, God.
B
Huge. Unbelievable. It's ridiculously large. It's frighteningly.
D
There was a guy in our high school, we call him Tripod.
B
Yeah.
D
And he was a little nerdy guy.
B
Yeah.
D
His name. Last name's Mansfield. And he was on the football team. And he was like the. The bottle wash. He was nobody, but damn. In the showers. Like, wow.
B
What in the world?
D
Mansfield, My God.
B
There's always.
D
Where did you come from?
B
There's always one of those. That. The news camp.
D
And when. When we see his girlfriend. He's one of those guys that like walked his girlfriend around and carried her books.
B
Yeah.
D
And that old gal was hanging on to his hand with a smile. I mean, a smile. You. If you want to know what happiness is, you need to quiz her.
B
Ask her.
D
Because she kept. She was happier than everybody else. So maybe it is. Maybe it does matter.
B
Oh, possibly. So real or new? Real or fake. Here we go.
D
Right.
B
This one is Texas Senate approves hunting feral hogs by hot air balloon.
D
Approved. Yeah, yeah, I read it.
B
Okay.
D
But that's stupid. Why would. Why couldn't you do it before from a helicopter?
B
You could do it before from a helicopter. What's the point of this?
D
Yeah, Save the pigs Dot com.
B
Yes, basically. So anyway, why. First of all, the balloons don't move very fast. Helicopters can chase them. Balloons go about the speed of. Well, I don't know what the wind.
E
Yeah, but balloons are cool, though, man.
B
Okay, let's see what else we got. Homing pigeons caught trying to smuggle drugs in Kuwait.
D
I saw that one.
B
That's a true story.
D
They have little backpacks.
B
Little backpacks on the. And my question is, how did the federal. How did the authorities know that particular bird was going to have something on his back? I mean, how did they find that out?
D
Sounds kind of stony because he's got.
E
A blonde mustache, man.
B
All right, right.
D
How about.
B
School calls police after student arrested when she pays for her meal with a two dollar bill. Is this a true story? Is this a fake story?
D
What's wrong?
B
Remember, all these are stories have ended up on Facebook. School calls police after student arrested when she tries to pay for her lunch with a two dollar bill.
D
Let me go. True. Because it's so odd.
B
You're right. That was in Houston. Actually, it was last year, but it's popping around Facebook.
D
$2 bills are still in circulation because.
B
The lady, the lunchroom lady thought it was fake. And then they called the police and the police thought it was fake.
D
God. Everybody's Bobo's trip to Austin.
E
You stay classy, Houston.
B
Yeah, really.
D
Baba, What's. What. What happened on your trip to Austin?
E
Me and my loser friends went to Austin to get a Smith tickets, man.
D
Is it really? Are you serious?
E
Top priority this summer? No, I'm not serious, but I am going to Austin in September because Donald Fagan has got a new band and he's playing at the Austin City Limits Theater.
D
Okay.
E
Got my tickets already.
D
Do you have a concert tour lined up for this year?
E
No, not really. We. We did a wonder. What have we been to, man?
D
We've been to a bunch. I've got five weeks off. The wife's out of town for five weeks. Five weeks.
B
What a party.
E
I think Boston's coming sometime soon. I wouldn't. I'd like to see that again.
B
Boston.
E
Yeah.
D
I'd love to see Boston.
E
That was surprisingly one of the best shows last year. Year. Probably any.
D
Any year, I'm gonna say. You know, Brad Delp blew his head off years ago. And this backup singer, this new guy, he's just as good. He. Not quite just as good, but he's so close, it doesn't matter. He sings the better match to Boston than the Journey Vietnamese kid is to Journey in The Journey. Journey Vietnamese kid has is a good match to see Perry, but I think the Boston's match is tighter. What do you think?
E
Oh, man. Man, no doubt. No doubt about it.
B
Let me look here. Dallas, Texas, Boston, June 30th. Starplex.
E
There you go, right there. It's at the Coca Cola Starplex, about a month away.
D
All right.
E
And Joan Jett, right? Joan Jett's the opening.
B
Yeah, it is right there. It is Joan, really?
D
With the Indigo Girls.
E
Indigo Girls.
D
To be there hadn't hurt. A new one out of the Indigo Girls.
B
Houston. We still want in Houston because the night before June 28th, they're going to be at Sugar Land at the Smart Financial Center. So the night before June 20th, Boston and Joan.
D
Jack, that's our listener party, man. Why don't we call Boston and just rock out with them?
E
Hell, yeah. That was an awesome show.
D
Don't look back. Okay.
B
All right.
D
Van Halen is going back on tour.
E
Really?
D
With David Lee and Sammy, possibly.
B
Really?
E
That's cool. But, man, without Michael Anthony, God, there's just a gap.
D
Well, if Sammy comes, then I think Michael Anthony comes.
E
That'd be awesome.
D
We're gonna do the Casino Tour, 2017.
E
After that first greatest hits album came out. They let Davey Lee Roth record a couple of tracks and Sammy got pissed off and left.
D
Right.
E
I always thought that would be the ideal thing, is just let both of the guys play with the band because Sammy plays guitar. You know, that allows Eddie to play a little keyboard on some numbers.
B
I just went to their website there. As of now, they're. It's saying there are no tours booked, so.
E
Oh, they're lying to you. That's fake news.
B
Oh, fake news.
D
Fake news. Is it on cnn?
B
All right, meds on Van Dash in Oregon this week.
D
Did you see I tagged you on Facebook, JD2 Drug Counselors at the drug rehab. So you send your kids to the rehab, pay them $20,000 a day to get them well. They had these drug counselors that had a problem, and they teach them the other way. Well, they overdosed and died at the rehab. The counselors did.
B
It happened.
D
My name is John Clay Wolf. We'll be right back.
E
No, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolfman on the radio. There's more of the John Claywolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.
D
I've been buying cars off dealers descriptions for 20 years, off the radio for 10. Why can't I buy yours off a picture on my website, givemetheven.com because I can that car. You didn't trade in that truck. You. Your dad had the family truckster that aunt Edna died in. If you don't check with give me the VIN first. You may need to get your head checked. We are the best buyer on cars, sight unseen. Top money. And if we don't beat carmax, we owe you 100 bucks.
E
Sell us your car. Give me the bin dot com. So easy you can do it in your underwear.
H
The John Clay Wolf show. Call at 800-800-RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or online@givemethevin.com.
D
This is a good one. A lot of pretty girls go by. I always thought he said none of them ride been right. He was a one hit wonder, was he not?
B
No, he had several hits too cold at home. He had a bunch of hits, actually.
D
Hey, Bob.
B
Angry little man.
D
It being holiday weekend and all and my old lady's gone. My first day of them being gone.
E
I know what you're gonna say.
D
Yesterday, I'm in the hotel and you call me at 7 in the morning. What the hell are you doing calling me?
B
What made you.
D
He called me at seven in the morning.
B
Was it an emergency? Was he in jail when I.
D
When I. I had the phone underneath me and I don't know how that happened. So this thing's vibrating in my back and then I get. I can't find it. Like, sit up, there it is. And I see BOBO and it's 7:05. And I just hit decline and threw the thing across the room. Right?
E
That's all you got to do, man.
D
Why were you calling me? Don't call me at 7 in the morning.
E
I know you guys are jet setters and probably hang around with, you know, rooms full of people and have a good old time, but this, this. All the friends I got are right here around this table, okay? And if I want to call you, I'm gonna call you. If you don't want to pick it up, don't pick it up.
B
You still.
E
I didn't even know. I. I went to bed at 6:45 the night before because I'm tired.
D
You're drunk.
E
No, see your phone.
B
I'm gonna take my.
E
And I heard you and you sent me a text with a picture of the marquee, like at 11:40 at night.
D
So you knew that I went to a concert.
E
You know, probably I didn't look at that until the next day because I don't carry my phone around but did.
D
You look at it before you called me?
E
No. I got up at 5:30. I actually waited till 7. Saw I could call you.
D
God Almighty.
E
So John sends me a text, which I didn't see till about noon Friday because I like I said I don't look at my phone all the time.
A
Right.
E
He's like, please don't call when you know I've been out late or something. Like, were you trying to sound like Ginger or Marianne in that text?
D
Sweetheart, I was just trying to politely say don't call me before 8am for.
B
The love of God.
D
Really? 9?
E
Just don't pick it up.
D
But when you wake a brother up. You've already woken him up.
E
Yeah.
B
Now you're halfway act off.
D
You're laying. You don't have phone etiquette rules. Do you not understand?
E
Jd, will you explain this to him?
B
Well, I'm on his side, dude. Call me at 7.
D
Do you remember when Baba used to get drunk and leave me voicemails? Oh, yes. Charlie. Do we still have that? Yeah, we need to play that. I love Turley.
B
He's got all one o' clock in the morning.
F
Hey. Hey, Charlie. Charlie, pick up your phone. Hey, Charlie. You tell John. Call John. Hey, this is Bubble. Tell John Wolf he can kiss in my ass. Kiss in my ass. Kiss it. Not take his mourn time. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Hey, Simple. Hey. Do what? Guess what, Tracy caller. I'm drunk. Amen. Gonna get down there. Jill. John Wolf. And these are mother. And I'm gonna go. And guess what. Good luck looking on your Facebook. It's because I took my computer home. I took it, Took the mother home. Ended up taking my mouthwash and all the microphones and I got speakers and my stapler and Date Book two. And I already got my check for this week out of the desk door.
D
So.
F
Kissing my ass. It's Bobby Dan Brown and better think about it.
E
Didn't it?
D
That was like talking to my mother. God rest her soul. After 5 o'. Clock.
B
All right, so we'll start calling you at one o' clock in the morning when I'm going to bed.
D
That's all right that's all right all.
B
Right Till I wake you up.
D
Bobo has some funny moments.
E
I'm not a regular dude. I don't think I have to tell you this. Right. I'm an artist.
D
I think the best thing that Bobbo's ever done is Axl Rose Sings Gospel. That's that. That got me deep. Have you ever heard that? No.
B
But it's greatness. It's been a long time.
D
Years ago, Bob. I think that was your best work. Turley, do you have that handed? We have that to hear that K.
E
T Hill Records is proud to present songs to inspire and lift you up. From the award winning lead singer of Guns N Roses, Axl Rose. His amazing conversion can show the world the way to Christ. On the new collection, Take Me down to Nazareth City.
D
Take me down to Nazareth City.
E
I just got it.
D
Amazing grace. How sweet the sound? I just want my coffee. I say I'm not a wretch yes, I am, baby. Then sings my soul, my soul savior God to me.
G
Whoa, how great they are, Jesus.
D
How great they are.
E
And as primary songwriter on all those Guns N Roses classic tunes, Axl has the liberty to turn those songs into all new uplifting gospel classics.
D
You know where you are, baby.
B
You're in the wild.
D
You're gonna be baptized. You're swimming with Jesus, baby. Oh, you gonna live.
E
I've been hanging with my sweet Jesus?
D
He brings me hope and joy. He's gonna make the devil leave me alone. Oh, no, no. Devil leave me alone. Oh.
B
Wow.
D
Whoa, whoa. Sweet son of God. Oh, my son of God.
E
And the classic chart topper, Paradise City's been born again. Just like Axel. Take me down to Jerusalem City?
D
Where the ground is brown?
E
The girls are covered.
D
I want to take me, me to my Lord I want to see my Lord Please take me to my lord. Give me $20.
E
Axl rose. Jerusalem City. Available now at all Michaels and Chick Fil A stores.
D
Not available on Sundays.
E
Lord, I apologize. That's why I was calling you, man.
D
Oh, tit.
E
It was something like that.
B
Something like that.
E
Something show related. I really did. I waited, I looked up and it was finally was seven o'.
D
Clock.
E
And I said, well, now I can call.
B
Now I finally call and wake everybody up.
D
I think we should spend the rest of this holiday show. We are live, but do we have more Bobo Bits?
B
11:30.
D
Why don't you guys call in and ask for your best favorite Bobbo bits. And we'll try to dig them up. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Actually, those two were posted on our JCW Facebook page. John Cleveland Wolf show Facebook page. And that's what made me think about it. And they are fun.
B
They're great.
D
Where do you come up with this stuff, Bob? Let's interview Bobbo, right?
B
Where does this come from?
E
Usually I call Turley about 6:45. Okay, listen. No. And you can Ask him. It's true. Because after you didn't answer, Michael's going, yeah, I called Turley, and Turley didn't answer. And then he called. Then he called me right back.
D
But where do you come up with this stuff? I don't know.
E
Spitball.
D
And he'll just come.
E
We just roll ideas around. Turley will have an idea and he'll. He'll email me or call me or something. We'll talk about it. And then I'll bounce back, and he'll bounce back. And by Saturday morning, we're ready to, you know.
D
Do you remember the creation of Tony Romo's dad? Was that my idea? I don't remember. Tony Romo was your idea.
E
Tony Romo fell down in a preseason game, I think, versus the Seahawks, Although his dad still thinks it's the son of New York Giants.
D
Sons of a beachy New York Giants.
E
Beach bastard New jerk Giants. And Turley said, we got. We got to talk to Tony Romo. Cuz, like, he may be out for a while. What if he broke something? Because we didn't even know then. So the following week, we're talking about it every day, every night that week. And he said, well, you know, he's Mexican American. I said, what? He goes, yeah, that was true. Look it up. And his father is like second generation Mexican and his mother is Polish. So I. It, you know, it just went on.
D
It's like, you know.
B
And I thought you were making that part up.
E
When my burning bush talks, I listen to it.
B
Is that going in your head like, all the time, though? Or does you. Can you quiet that down like you're driving down the road? Are you having characters talk to you? No, I just wondered because I've been on. I've been on a road trip with you, and this stuff comes out of you all the time.
D
What do you think he's a weirdo or something? Yeah.
B
You were in the van trip we all took to Houston.
D
Yeah.
B
Constantly. Two or three days. It never stop. It never stops. This stuff comes out of you all the time. These characters, these people. Odd moments.
D
Did you wind up in the principal's office much in school?
E
As a matter of fact, I probably.
D
I did for cutting up a lot.
B
How'd you bring it up?
E
Yeah, but I learned to. How to. I learned how to spin it.
D
Okay.
E
I got to where I would just go there and hang out sometimes.
D
To the principal's office? Yeah.
E
And then they. They got to where they would not call me to the.
D
Oh, so, like, y' all got Anything for me? I'm just checking in.
E
Reverse psychology, man.
D
B.J. good morning.
A
Good morning.
D
What you got?
F
2012 Chevy Silverado. 1500.
D
How many miles?
F
35,000.
D
Leather or cloth?
F
What?
D
Sunroof?
F
No.
D
What color?
F
Red.
D
Average. Rough or clean? Chrome wheels or alloy wheels?
F
It is alloy.
D
I like the miles. I like to this, I like to that. It's got a clean CarFax four wheel drive. It's LT with leather. Is the front seat bench or is it bucket with a console in the middle? That's hard.
F
Is a bench.
D
So the thing flips down to put your drinks in?
F
Yes.
D
What do you drink?
F
How much?
D
No, what do you drink? You got Bush Light in there. You got Keystone, you got Bud, you got Heineken. What are you drinking?
F
Bud Light.
D
Bud Light. Your Bud Light. Because that tells me what kind of condition your car is in. Okay. Do you have any distance dead soldiers in the back of the bed?
F
No, I don't.
D
All right, well then you're. You're not. You're better than I. I think it's a twenty three thousand dollar rig. Off the top of my head. Does that sound right?
F
I was thinking a little more like 25, 26.
D
What's your payoff?
F
6,000.
D
What do you want to do? Want to sell it or do you want to trade it in?
F
I've been trying to sell it.
D
Okay. Key word, there's trying. So here you're talking to a guy that can buy it and will buy it. So let me look something up. Let me take this a little more seriously than somebody just stroking me on the radio. Cuz I have a feeling that you're for real. Does it have a. Does it have a clean Carfax?
F
It does. Other than a window that was broken into, that's nothing but years ago.
D
Did it get reported on the.
F
It got reported to insurance. I don't know if I got reported to Carfax.
D
Probably did. So I need to see the Carfax. Have you already gone to givemetheven.com and put the VIN number in?
F
I've done it. I've done it twice.
D
What's it telling you?
F
It doesn't do anything. It says I'm gonna get a quote and it never happened.
D
Oh.
C
So either his VIN's wrong or the miles are off or something.
D
Something's. Did you do it today?
F
I didn't do it today. I did it two days ago and a week ago.
D
That's weird. Okay. Huh. Then go to. Go to givemetheven.com and click email. JCW and send me the VIN number and send me the pictures. If it's nice. What I say 23 and you're saying 25. 26. Maybe we can meet the middle at 23 and a half. 24, maybe 24 and a half. It really depends on what that carfax says, but I'll buy it. Well, 24 and a half. Bottom it. Yes. Okay, well, let's. Let's try to get it bought. So go to givemethevent.com, click email, JCW, put the VIN number, remind me, say 24 and a half will buy it. Here's the pictures, here's the VIN. Let me know and I'll. When I get off the air, I'll pull it up. Look. Okay, thanks, man. Hey, what station you listen to us on down there?
F
I listen to 105.1.
D
That is the old planet radio, which is now classic rock and Lafayette.
F
Correct.
D
Awesome, awesome, awesome. Have you been listening to Walton Johnson on that station?
F
I do some days, yeah.
D
Cool. All right, well, we go to givemetheven.com and I'll get back with you after the show. 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio.
B
Here's a fun headline bumping around Facebook this week. Is this real or is this one fake? This is coming out of China. More than a million pounds of rat meat sold to the US as boneless chicken wings. This is a arrival out of China. They were seized at the port of San Francisco. That's bumping around Facebook.
D
That's a lot of rats.
B
That's a half a million pound of rat meat sold as boneless chicken wings in the US it came out of China. Sold in the. It is seized rather in the port of San Francisco. Is this true story or is this Facebook folly?
C
God, I hope it's false.
D
I think I'm in a volume vomit.
E
Yeah, that's not real, man.
D
I think I'd rather eat horse meat.
B
The FDA warns of the situation because nearly 1,000, excuse me, 1 million pounds of rat meat is still in the U.S. they say. And that is Facebook poly. Let's bounce.
D
Think about how many rats that would be.
B
That's a lot of rats.
D
How would you raise. How would you catch that many rats to harvest?
E
I know, man. They just kind of get a scoop, you know, Rat's. Not that. I mean, rats just like a squirrel, man.
D
Have you had Squirrels World? Sure. I heard about that time you had raccoon. You didn't take that very well.
B
What happened? He ate raccoon.
D
We'll Catch it when we come back. My name is John Claywell played by CARS Radio.
E
You know, it just ain't Saturday without the Wolf man on the radio. There's more of the John Playwolf show coming up, powered by givemethevin.com.
D
Check out the new automated bidding system@givemetheven.com. my money, my bid is right there and it will throw it to you right now. It's all automated, real time. You wait on nothing. If you're going to the dealership, get a number from us. Givemetheven.com My name is John Claywell and I am the largest wholesaler and all of southwest United States.
H
The John Clay Wolf show. Call at 800800 RADIO. At 800-800 RADIO. That's 800-800-7234 or online@givemetheven.com.
D
Boy, we were going deep country today, man.
E
Dipping in the quality there.
D
This is quality, Steve.
E
Man, I was working at country station Witch Falls and I just broken up with my girlfriend and I don't remember what the song was that I played before this one, but they fit together perfectly. And that, that beautiful crying tone that Steve Warner has, that voice. Before he was through with the first verse, I was crying. I wept openly like a.
B
He's got so many great, great songs and he's such a cool guy. I interviewed him for my show. Yeah, great guy.
E
What a, what a talent.
D
Robert, good morning. You're on the air.
F
How you doing?
D
I'm good. Hey, is this a California special? Is it a convertible or a hard top?
F
Not the hard top.
D
So we have a 08 Ford Mustang GT California Special. So it's got those big fanny looking wheels. Is that right?
F
Yeah, it's got the 18 inch.
D
Because I, I know these cars pretty well. I was a Ford dealer back then and I remember actually I had a convertible. Okay, what color is yours?
F
It's the blue. Like a dark blue. Midnight blue.
E
Okay.
D
And it is a 08 Ford Mustang GT automatic with leather, right?
F
No, it's the stick. Standard manual.
D
Okay. How many miles? 6,000. Because it says count. California special. 47. What's a 47? Was that just an error by phone screener? Okay, probably 6,000 miles as the exhaust.
A
I don't know.
F
I mean, I know they had different models because some of them have navigation systems, some don't. I mean, this one does, but.
D
Okay, I like it. Does it. Has the exhaust been modified or is it stuck.
F
About that?
D
Has the exhaust been modified or is the car completely stuck?
F
I believe the car is completely stock.
D
How long have you owned it?
F
I've. I've only owned it for two months. Three months.
D
Okay. Why are you selling it?
F
I was going to trade it in and just. I probably just get something cheaper just because had some unfortunate personal things happen.
D
If I bought it from you today, do you have another car to drive?
C
I don't know.
F
I mean, I guess it depends on the offer. I mean, I'm not quite sure.
D
No, listen, let me restate the question.
F
No, I don't have another car now.
D
But this car's only got 6,000 miles on it.
F
Yeah, I know.
D
So where do you drive it? It's a.08.
E
I'm sorry?
D
It's a.08 with 6,000 miles. Okay. This is real, right?
F
Yeah. No, no, no, it's real, man. I can take a picture of it.
D
Okay. Does. Does 15 grand buy it?
F
O no, man, it's an 08.
D
Dude. I mean, I'm not knocking.
F
Yeah, I know, but I just bought it. But I mean, I'll be so behind on it because I mean, after all the paperwork and everything was done on it, I ended up paying like 20.
D
Oh, what's your payoff?
F
Oh, man, it's like 23, I think.
D
Okay, well, I'm a, you know, 15, 16, 17 buyer on this car. I need to see pictures. But if that won't work, then, I mean, that's reality. And if that won't work, I understand.
F
Okay, well, I appreciate it, man. Thank you for the time.
D
Bye. Bye, man. That's awkward. Randy and 05 Ford Crown Vic with a buck 17. This isn't a police car, is it? Yeah, it is.
F
Yeah, well, it was.
D
Yeah, I don't want it. And it's from Oklahoma. 800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4. Those police special retreads, man, they're worth nothing really.
B
Just too many.
D
Elvis's airplane's selling today.
B
Yeah, today.
D
Yeah.
B
They want what, three mil?
D
They want the. The estimate on the auction was two and a half to two to three and a half million. The online bidding was at 400 grand yesterday. I figured it'd bring 300 maybe. And there's a 23% buyer's premium on top of that. So let's say it brings a million to which it shouldn't, but maybe it will.
B
Let's tell people. By the way, it's a ragged out shell. It's been sitting 30 years in the desert.
D
Here's something I've learned of years in this kind of business. Like these clickers. Yeah, they're not gonna pay for it. No, it happens all the time. People are the high bidders at these public auto auctions. And they don't pay.
B
No, they never pay. We had John Schneider on the show one time because he was selling one of his original Dukes of Hazard cars that went up to like 3 million. He was crazy excited about it. All of it fake fell through at the last minute. None of it was all fake. Clickers. He was so disappointed. He was so jazzed that he's gonna make 3 million on this car.
D
If you don't have a bank letter and a signed contract and a deposit, you ain't got no deal.
E
Yeah.
B
He ended up selling it for like 100 grand. But 3 million was the bid.
E
Right.
B
And that's what it closed at.
D
Right. And he was like, oh, we made 3 million, dude. This jet is an old jet. Starts Elvis's plane. The interior is pretty cool. You can see it on the John Clay Wolf show Facebook page. It's got velour red seats that look pimpy. It's neat. But the rest of it's an absolute piece of junk. The engines are off of it. It's all burned up. The cockpit's blown out.
B
Yeah.
D
It would never be worth restoring. No. Not even close.
B
No, not. It's not the Lisa Marie sitting at his house. This is not even worth burning.
A
Truly.
B
One thing you do is be able to show it to your friends. Go. This is. Elvis was playing. They'd all go, ooh, Right.
D
Cuz it's just junk to resto that thing. Where it would fly again would probably cost.
B
Oh, my Lord. Where would you start?
D
Safely.
B
Two million never fly again.
D
I could. Oh, yeah. I mean, anything can happen. A man built, a man can fix it.
B
Yeah.
D
Yeah.
B
Wow. What a whipping that would be. Oh, maybe. Maybe fly to the Phoenix.
E
Dude, you can make anything fly.
D
Yeah.
E
Yeah.
D
All right.
B
One more headline for you. You two stopped after the at Whataburger after their Houston show this week. True or false?
D
True.
B
Two stopped at Whataburger. I hope they did after their Houston show. That is a true story. There's pictures of them in the parking lot.
D
That is too good. Did they go inside or they have somebody go get it for.
B
They actually went inside. That's too far. They came out and they stood in the parking lot, took pictures with everybody.
D
Have they found what they were looking for?
B
Ah, well, the streets have no name there. Sorry.
E
I think it here. It comes out over there.
D
Yeah. What kind of. How would you like your burger done? Well, rare. Bloody rare. It's a bad one. Okay, Give me the vi.com is the website where buyers in the other room buying the cars right now. You'll get an immediate quote at the website and we're. I don't. We'll close it for today. So we'll keep bidding them till four today and then we'll have a skeleton crew on Monday. But the computer system will keep working through the week and get you close. It'll give you a quick range. Sell us your car. That's what we want to do. That's what we're here to do. That's what makes this whole thing work. And more cars less bull. My name is John Clay Wolf and.
B
God bless those that have served our country.
D
Yes, sir. See you.
E
Locker out.
D
I'm out. Back to the money. Time is money. Let's get.
Air Date: February 13, 2026
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Key Contributors: JD Ryan, Bobbo, Turley, and recurring show characters
This episode captures the essence of The John Clay Wolfe Show: a rollicking blend of car talk, irreverent humor, wild character bits, and unfiltered banter about sports, music, and pop culture. The show thrives on the interplay between honest car-buying advice, rapid-fire calls with listeners, and off-the-rails comedy sketches—all while poking fun at internal show debates (cars vs. BS), the FCC, and even themselves. A recurring tension: Should the show lean more into “more cars, less BS,” or is “more BS, less cars” the secret sauce? This episode features listener input on that very question, hilarious takes on recent news, rock and roll nostalgia, and live phone-ins for on-air car valuations.
Notable Quote
Sample Caller Exchanges
Notable Quotes
Notable Quotes
Memorable Moment
Notable Quotes
| Segment | Time | |---|---| | Devil Character & Comedy Open | 00:19 – 01:58 | | Car Appraisal Calls & GiveMeTheVIN | Throughout | | The Cult Concert Story | 18:04 – 19:13 | | Program Director/Listener Feedback | 23:26, 40:22, 53:24, etc. | | Tony Romo’s Dad / Sports Bits | 67:11 – 70:33 | | Rush Limbaugh Pretzel Bit | 44:00+ | | Rock Star Hotel Rooms | 30:42 – 31:24 | | Listener Calls: Cars vs. BS | 62:15 – 63:46 |
This episode epitomizes the John Clay Wolfe Show’s fearless, loose, and interactive brand of entertainment—never shying away from mixing hard-nosed car dealing with gonzo humor, over-the-top impressions, and candid audience feedback. Whether they’re appraising a truck, fielding rants about Tesla depreciation, or debating the merits of "fluffing" at a nudist camp, the team’s charm is in their willingness to go anywhere—so long as it won’t get them fined by the FCC.
Whether you tune in for competitive live car quotes or wild radio theater, this episode is a jam-packed sampler. The best moments come from unpredictability, banter, and audience engagement—a key reason the show works as both car advice and a comedy party on your dial.
Original Tone:
Conversational, irreverent, occasionally off-color, and distinctly Southern—with a style reminiscent of morning zoo radio but smarter and sharper.
Language:
Casual, sometimes bawdy, always direct, and packed with in-jokes and pop culture references.
Should the John Clay Wolfe Show be more about cars, or more about BS? This episode suggests the answer is: both—and the audience wouldn't have it any other way.