JCW ARCHIVE: Give Me The Vend

Summary

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The John Clay Wolfe Show

Episode: JCW ARCHIVE: Give Me The Vend
Date: July 31, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode dives into the humorous and sometimes frustrating realities of office life at GiveMeTheVIN.com, focusing on the chaos that ensued after vending machines were added to the office, the debate over door decorations, and the quirks of company culture. The crew delivers their trademark mix of workplace stories, friendly ribbing, and practical advice, all with a distinctly playful and irreverent tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. GiveMeTheVIN Office Life: The Characters and Their Quirks

Timestamps: 01:20 – 02:14

• The team discusses the expanded and sometimes bewildering workforce, highlighting the classic "who is that, and what do they do here?"
  • Tom: “I look at, I’m like, who’s that? Who’s that? … What do they do and what are we paying them? I haven’t seen them do anything.” (01:42)
• The hosts poke fun at the corporate growth and the arrival of new, unfamiliar faces and departments, especially HR.

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2. Door Decoration Rules and HR Clampdown

Timestamps: 02:14 – 03:08

• The crew reads a company-wide HR email banning posters, signs, wreaths, and similar items from office doors’ exteriors (but permitting them inside offices if “appropriate”).
  • Quote: “It recently has been brought to our attention, this comes from HR, by the way, that posters, pictures, signs, wreaths... are not allowed to be hung on the outside of office doors within the building.” - Office Employee 1 (02:24)
• The irony is raised about the owner (John) hosting a sometimes “offensive” national talk show.
  • Tom: “And then you’ve got a owner of the company doing a terribly offensive talk show nationally broadcast. That’s hard to manage. See, right there’s the rub.” (02:52)

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3. Girl Scout Cookie Drama & Decorating Rivalries

Timestamps: 03:11 – 03:55

• Employees are posting signs for their kids’ Girl Scout cookie sales outside their doors.
  • John Clay Wolf: “There’s one of our money gals... it says my kid’s selling Girl Scout cookies... quite a few notes.” (03:11)
• Office politics are suggested: did someone complain because their cookie sign wasn’t as flashy as another’s?
  • Office Employee 2: “I wonder, just a theory, that if she didn’t complain because she had a better sign. Correct. Because it was really slick. You can just go over there and scan it and buy some cookies.” (03:28)

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4. The Saga of Tom’s Vending Machines

Timestamps: 03:55 – 07:25

• Tom, the Treasury Management Guy, requested permission to install vending machines at work, hoping to earn a little side money (he’s “not just some dude”), but the placement leads to chaos outside John’s office.
  • Quote: “So now everybody’s coming to my office to get their Fritos and my door’s open all the time.” – Tom (04:32)
• Frequent office interruptions as staff line up for snacks or ask for change.
  • John: “Hey, do you have change for a five?” (04:38)
• John eventually demands the machines be moved — twice — because of the disruption and eventual property damage due to the machines being old, heavy, and difficult to move.
  • Tom: “He probably caused $2,500 worth of damage to the walls and floor at the company headquarters at the time that he used the employees...” (07:17)
  • Tom: “He had Arturo and other illegals move them and tore the walls all up. And they’re still screwed up.” (07:31)

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5. “No More Kindergarten Classroom” — The Adult Office Dilemma

Timestamps: 07:31 – 10:16

• Tom expresses frustration at Halloween decorations left up, prompting him to demand their removal:
  • Tom: “I barked at a lady that promotes all this decoration and I said, get that crap off of my office doors and don’t put it up anymore. I don’t want this place dressed up like first grade.” (07:56)
• Tom reflects on the desire for a professional environment — not an elementary school — especially when entertaining clients and VIPs:
  • Tom: “Love it when I’m bringing bankers and important people and Ernie Garcia from Carvana’s walking down the hallway...and all the doors are covered up like fall into Christmas. The ABCs.” (10:03)
  • John (joking): “January is brought to you by the letter J.” (10:12)
• There’s general agreement that while some special event decorating (like Christmas or Halloween) is fun, the line’s been crossed when stations or offices look perpetually like a grade school.

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6. Office Kitchen Etiquette & “Don’t Cook Fish at Work!”

Timestamps: 09:03 – 09:34

• The conversation shifts to common office etiquette violations, especially dirty microwaves and the notorious “fish in the microwave” offense.
  • Office Employee 1: “If your lunch explodes in the microwave, clean it the hell up.” (09:11)
  • Tom: “And if you have fish, you don’t put it—” (09:15)
  • John: “Don’t ever cook fish at work.” (09:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tom (on office growth): “It’s grown outside of my grasp, so to speak. We’ve got an HR department...I look at, I’m like, who’s that? Who’s that?” (01:38)
• Tom (on vending machine disruption): “I can’t have a meeting. I can’t do anything. I do nothing but talk to people all day. They’re standing in line for Tom’s Vending machine.” (04:51)
• Tom (on door decorations): “I got out of elementary school in fifth grade...I don’t want the office decorated like that. Do you know what I’m talking about?” (08:45)
• John: “January is brought to you by the letter J.” (10:12)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [01:20] - Introduction to office life and employee dynamics
• [02:14] - HR policy on office door decorations
• [03:28] - Girl Scout cookie sign drama
• [03:55] - Vending machine placement woes
• [07:31] - The property damage saga
• [07:56] - Tom’s rant on childish decor and professionalism
• [09:03] - Kitchen etiquette, microwaves, and the fish story
• [10:12] - Satire on school-themed office culture

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Tone and Style

The episode is lively and laced with humor, sarcasm, and candid storytelling. The cast’s camaraderie and willingness to poke fun at each other — and themselves — makes the workplace stories both relatable and ridiculous.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you want inside stories about real office mayhem, from the politics of selling Girl Scout cookies, to the fallout from a Treasury pro trying to make a buck with snack vending, to debates over how much “fun” is too much fun for office decor, this episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show delivers. The crew juggles banter, insight, and gripes, all in a laid-back yet sharp comedic style, perfect for those who love a little chaos with their company culture.

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Transcript

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[John Clay Wolf]

The John Clay Wolf show has appeared on terrestrial radio for a really, really, really long time. So we dug into our pockets and on the other side of our we found something funny. And yes, it's contagious. Gather round as the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.

[DJ Pre K]

What's the damn deal? It's your boy DJ Pre K with the John Clay Wolf show chilling in the archives. But during the week I met our sponsor. Give me the VINs office. And it can get a little sideways with the characters we got working there. Whether it's decorations or vending machines. We all just trying to make a living comfortably. And I still work right next to the vending machines. They still going strong, but now everybody asking me for change. I feel you, John. Check this out.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Oh, here's a good one. So give me the vin. That's what we do during the week. We're in this company and there's a lot of people.

[Carl's Jr. Spokesperson]

Yeah.

[DJ Pre K]

So easy.

[John Clay Wolf]

You can do it in your underwear.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

And it's grown a lot. Right. It's grown outside of my grasp, so to speak. We've got an HR department. We've got this person. I mean, I look at, I'm like, who's that? Who's that?

[Office Employee 1]

Who's that?

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Who's that that works here? What do they do and what are we paying them? I haven't seen them do anything. And I've been here for three days in a row watching and I don't really know why we needed them, but there's a what there. There's a feature here, y' all have. It says gmtv. Give me the VIN HR why not to decorate the out the out. Why not to decorate the outside of your office door?

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Office Employee 1]

Something had to happen.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

So y' all put this on the run list. I. I have a lot of carnal knowledge about this. I but I want to hear yalls take because you got the company wide email.

[Office Employee 1]

Yeah. It says it recently has been brought to our attention. This comes from hr, by the way, that posters, pictures, signs, wreaths, notes. Wreaths, wreaths, notes, etc are not allowed to be hung on the outside of office doors within the building. These items are allowed inside individual offices as long as they are appropriate. Appropriate for the workplace and not offensive to other employees.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

And then you've got a owner of the company doing a terribly offensive talk show nationally broadcast. That's hard. That's hard to manage. See, right there. There's the rub.

[Office Employee 1]

It's hard to understand why I can't put something on the outside of my door that maybe is offensive when the owner of the company.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Okay, so what was Yalls take on that? Why did you put this on the run list?

[John Clay Wolf]

Because I don't know what, what she's talking about. I mean there's. There's one of our money gals. It has like a few thunder funder. Yeah. And it says my kids selling girl scout cookies. And a lot of quite a few notes.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

That's a shame tactic. I hate that.

[Office Employee 2]

So there is that and there's another funder that also is selling girl scout cookies. I wonder, just a theory that if she didn't complain because she had a better sign. Correct. Because that it was really slick. You can just go over there and just take your phone and scan it and buy some cookies.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, nice.

[Office Employee 2]

Yeah, I think that's what happened there.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Or did Tom get mad because Tom owns the vending machine?

[Office Employee 2]

Correct.

[Carl's Jr. Spokesperson]

Maybe that I didn't think of that.

[Office Employee 2]

I think this is.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

This is all of this. So Tom asked me. Tom is our treasury management guy. He's got a big resume, he's had big corporate jobs. He has a big corporate job with us. This is an executive, not just some dude.

[John Clay Wolf]

No doubt.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Hey, John. Yeah, Tom? Do you mind if I put vending machines in the deal? You know, I could make some extra money. We need vending machines. Everybody's been asking about vending machines. I like in a hurry, do whatever. Sure. Okay. So he puts these big ass vending machines like right outside my office. And my office is in an executive hallway where we don't have all the traffic.

[Office Employee 1]

Right.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

So now everybody's coming to my office to get their Fritos and my doors open all the time.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, do you have chains for a five?

[Office Employee 1]

You got any quarters?

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

So all day, you know, people are lined up at the damn food machines at the office. I can't have a meeting. I can't do anything. I do nothing but talk to people all day. They're standing in line for Tom's Vending machine.

[Office Employee 2]

Well, you feel like you have to say something, right?

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

When somebody acknowledges you. They're your. They're your staff. I mean, it's not that I dislike them. I just. I'm trying to get stuff done, and I haven't spoken to a lot of them in a long time. So this gave everybody an open door into my. Anyway. Hey, Tom. Yeah, John? Move your gun. Move your damn vending machine. So he moves them down another deal, and they're in the way. I'm like, tom, this is not what I was thinking. I want you to put them in the foyer in the entry.

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[Office Employee 1]

Yeah.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Which makes sense.

[Office Employee 1]

Sure.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Okay, so then they didn't get moved for a week. I'm like, hey, move the vending machines or get them out of here. And so he moves them to the foyer. Now, what I didn't tell you is during all these moves, Tom cheaped out a little bit on the vending machine purchases, and he went with the big old style, not the newer style, new electronics.

[Office Employee 1]

Yeah.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

So Tom's gonna make. Maybe Tom's gonna make a thousand dollars this year on vending machines. I'm just making up a number. I'm just making up a number.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

He probably caused $2,500 worth of damage to the walls and floor at the

[Office Employee 2]

company headquarters at the time that he used the employees of Give me the vintage.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Yeah, no, he never moved anything.

[Carl's Jr. Spokesperson]

No, no.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

He had Arturo and other illegals move them and tore the walls all up. And they're still screwed up. And it still bothers me every time I walk by. So anyway, so that's one thing. Now see y'. All. Okay, here's what happened. This is very simple. I'm walking out Thursday and on one of the doors on accounting, there's like stickers and rubber and crap all over the door from Halloween. And I barked at a lady that promotes all this decoration and I said, get that crap off of my office doors and don't put it up anymore. I don't want this place dressed up like first grade, first day of school.

[Carl's Jr. Spokesperson]

Sure.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Okay. Understand. That's it.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I left Halloween.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

And then that fired a company wide email.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

About door hangings.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

I'm pretty easy guy. I just don't want it promoted. Like because what they would start doing is promote, you know, door decorations. And now I would say the Christmas thing in the girls pit. That was pretty cute.

[Office Employee 1]

Yeah.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

I don't know if you.

[Office Employee 2]

For a one time event type thing. Yeah, yeah.

[Office Employee 1]

And they do a big thing at Halloween.

[Office Employee 2]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And that was awesome.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

I got out of elementary school in fifth grade. You know how the teacher decorates the classroom? I don't want the office decorated like that. Do you know what I'm talking about? Okay, so I'm not out of line here.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Oh, good.

[Office Employee 1]

Not at all.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Because I'm feeling stingy. I'm feeling like a scrooge bastard. It's okay, Ebenezer.

[Office Employee 1]

Had to be done. Part of this other memo goes on to people that keep. Don't keep things clean. And it drives me nuts. Going to the microwave. If your lunch explodes. If you're listening back at the office, if your lunch explodes in the microwave, clean it the hell up.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

And if you have fish, you don't put it.

[Office Employee 1]

Don't put it in the microwave.

[John Clay Wolf]

Don't ever cook fish at work.

[Office Employee 2]

O was the worst day.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Topham.

[Office Employee 2]

Yes. Ken Tom did that. Yes.

[John Clay Wolf]

I can smell it upstairs, man.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

It was bad.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bad.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Okay, so now there's a new rule that you're not allowed to decorate your door.

[Office Employee 1]

The outside of the door, the outside, do the inside.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

Do whatever you want. Just get the job done. But don't screw the office all up. And don't. If you want to be a teacher and decorate a classroom, then go do that. Go do that. Get a classroom. Those little kids appreciate all that decoration. Love it when I'm bringing bankers and important people and Ernie Garcia from Carvana's walking down the hallway trying to negotiate a deal with me, right? And all the doors are covered up like fall into Christmas. The ABCs.

[John Clay Wolf]

January is brought to you by the letter J.

[Tom (Treasury Management Guy)]

What are y' all doing?

[Office Employee 1]

There's a casual feeling around the office, and people occasionally just push the limits a little bit.

[DJ Pre K]

All right, y' all know what to do. Hit us up on John Claywolf.com youm can check out old episodes on there. You know, stay up to date with what we got going on. Get cool gear. We got hats, shirts, all that. Hit us up on Facebook. You know, search John Clay Wolf show. We're on Instagram. John's on Twitter. You know, you can holler at all of us. Okay. You know how to spell it. Okay. We appreciate y' all listening. Keep on rocking with us.