JCW ARCHIVE: Halloween Hits

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show - JCW ARCHIVE: Halloween Hits

Release Date: November 2, 2024

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Introduction to the Halloween Archive

In the "Halloween Hits" episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show, host John Clay Wolfe and his co-hosts delve into a nostalgic journey, revisiting the spookiest moments from their archives. The episode, originally aired in 2021, celebrates Halloween with a blend of humor, creativity, and unexpected guests, encapsulating the show's signature mix of cars, sports, sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

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Reflecting on the 2021 Halloween Party

The episode kicks off with John Clay Wolfe reminiscing about the show's extensive history on terrestrial radio. He sets the stage for a "throwback adventure," inviting listeners to join the "wolf pack" in revisiting past Halloween festivities.

• Black-Tie Halloween Affair: John discusses the annual Halloween party, highlighting its unique black-tie theme. Despite being a Halloween event, attendees opted for formal attire rather than traditional costumes. John humorously reflects, "I haven't worn a tux since COVID" (02:09).

• Party Dynamics and Future Plans: The co-host inquires about costumes, leading to a lighthearted conversation about the absence of dress-ups. They brainstorm ideas for future events, suggesting categories like "Sluttiest," "Scariest," and "Movie-Themed" costumes. John humorously navigates the fine line between fun and workplace appropriateness, stating, "If you have a sluttiest category, then it jumps the HR thing" (06:25).

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Creative Halloween Content and Spoofs

A standout segment features Bob’s inventive take on Halloween-themed songs, blending popular tunes with spooky twists.

• "Evil Ice Cream Man" Song: Bob presents a creative rendition titled "Evil Ice Cream Man," transforming a mundane character into a Halloween menace. He sings:

  "I am ice cream man
  Evil ice cream man
  Scaring little children with my band blaring in their ears..."
  (02:46 - 04:05)

  John reacts enthusiastically, "Bobble just screams Ice cream men" (04:01), appreciating the humorous and eerie twist.

• Tales from the Crypt Spoof: The hosts parody the classic series "Tales from the Crypt," exaggerating the horror elements to comedic effect. Bob humorously narrates:

  "Her William will soon be harnessed, and with it the dead will rise and zombies will tear you limb from limb..."
  (04:24 - 05:37)

  This segment playfully critiques the idea of making Halloween content less politically correct, ending with John's exasperated sign-off, "Screw you" (05:37).

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Special Guest Appearance: Satan’s Take on Halloween

Adding a supernatural twist, the episode features a guest role for Satan, who shares his unique perspective on Halloween festivities.

• Satan’s Halloween Celebrations: Satan discusses his participation in the Halloween party, emphasizing the fun despite his hellish origins. He mentions, "We did it last night" and humorously notes the high spirits, "We were so high. So high" (08:34).

• Costume Contest Highlights: The conversation turns to the costume contest, revealing that "Manson won the costume contest" (09:40). Satan describes the winning costumes, with Charlie Manson being portrayed authentically, and Marilyn Monroe whimsically dressing as Manson. His recounting includes:

  "Manson won the costume contest, and it was really outstanding. And he looked and acted. He even did a little song exactly like Marilyn Monroe."
  (09:40 - 10:03)

  This segment highlights the hosts' penchant for blending pop culture with Halloween lore, creating memorable and entertaining narratives.

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Engagement and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, DJ Prekay encourages listeners to engage with the show through various platforms:

• Online Presence: Listeners are directed to visit johnclaywolf.com for old episodes, cool merchandise, and to stay updated via Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter (10:28).

• Appreciation: The hosts express gratitude towards their audience, reinforcing the show's community-centric approach and inviting continued participation.

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Notable Quotes

• John Clay Wolfe on Tuxedos:

  "I haven't worn a tux since COVID."
  02:09

• Co-host on Future Costume Categories:

  "Categories?"
  06:16

• Satan on Halloween Fun:

  "We were so high. So high."
  09:40

• John on the Costume Contest:

  "Charlie Manson? This is the costume contest in. Hail. Hail. Hail."
  09:42

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Conclusion

The "Halloween Hits" episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show exemplifies the show's ability to intertwine humor, creativity, and topical themes. By revisiting past Halloween events, engaging in playful parodies, and introducing unexpected characters like Satan, John and his co-hosts deliver an entertaining and memorable episode. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this Halloween special offers a delightful mix of nostalgia and fresh, spooky fun.

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Timestamp Key:

• Introduction and Party Discussion: 01:31 - 06:34
• Creative Content and Song: 02:46 - 05:37
• Satan’s Appearance: 08:27 - 10:26
• Closing Engagement: 10:28 - End

Note: Timestamps correspond to the original episode's transcript for reference.

Transcript

[Narrator]

You may not realize it, but every minute of every day, you're enjoying your First Amendment freedoms. You can wear what you want, give out your opinion for free, even if it's unpopular. Listen to your playlist. You can put a sign out on your front lawn that says, vote for Bigfoot. Someone you can believe in. Pray to the God of your choice. Or don't you have the right to hang with a posse that thinks like you do. Tell the government what you think about its policies. They're the freedoms that let you be you. And they're all brought to you by the First Amendment.

[Unknown Singer]

Moving like a river in my soul.

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[John Clay Wolf]

The John Clay Wolf show has appeared on terrestrial radio for a really, really, really long time. So we dug into our pockets and on the other side of our we found something funny. And yes, it's contagious. Gather round as the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.

Boo.

[DJ Prekay]

Did I scare you? Nah, it's your boy, DJ Prekay with the John Clay Wolf show getting spooky in the archives. And we're gonna take it back to 2021, when John and the crew were having some Halloween fun. Bobo's got a great Halloween jam, and Satan even stops by to tell us how they get down down below. So here's another treat for you, Tricks. Check it out.

[John Clay Wolf]

800-800-Rode. My name's John Claywolf. Good morning. Happy Halloween. Coming up, tonight's the real Halloween, in my opinion, because it's Saturday, baby. And I'm off work after this party tonight.

Amen.

Yes. Big party.

[Co-host]

Y'all dressing up?

[John Clay Wolf]

No, it's. It's just a big party that happens once a year here. So it's a black tie for. I haven't had on a tux. I haven't worn a tux in a year. I haven't worn a tux in two years. I haven't worn a tux since COVID.

[Co-host]

A black tie event for Halloween.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. Is it the Eyes Wide Shut Type thing.

[Co-host]

John's got a different side.

[John Clay Wolf]

No password is Fidelio, Right?

Love it. Speaking of Halloween and Ozzy Osbourne, who's our favorite Halloween character? Bob, you did some bit. I haven't heard it yet, but JD Said it's good. An Aussie spin off Halloween song. Yeah.

I was driving to work and I heard Iron Man. And you know, I don't have to tell you, but I can be a weird guy sometimes. Just the way my mind works. And I thought you could change that lyric into kind of a. Kind of a Halloweeny thing and then maybe put some sound effects and things. And this is what I came up with.

[Unknown Singer]

I am ice cream man Evil ice cream man Scaring little children with my band blaring in their ears Evil little jingle that they fear oh, my God. Offering little tights 88 varieties. They don't like liverwurst and sardine. I sell flavors that make them scream.

[John Clay Wolf]

Bobble just screams Ice cream men.

[Unknown Singer]

Children run away as fast as he can. Nobody wants that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Everybody wants it. Coming to a theater near you. That's pretty weird, ma'am. Oh, you're kind of weird, man. O. What's the other one? Did you do another one?

Yeah, this is from some time ago. You. Do you remember Tales from the Crypt on hbo?

No.

I always used to love that. The Crypt Keeper. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is. This is something we came up when there was a question about Halloween being too PC.

[Unknown Singer]

Her William will soon be harnessed, and with it the dead will rise and zombies will tear you limb from limb, eating your flesh. Quick disclaimer that the violent nature of the zombies is not approved by this station. Also, eating of flesh is highly unsubstantiated and not allowed. What? The demons from hell will attack all soon, dragging you to the pits of hell. Also, there will be no attacking or touching of any human by demons in any inappropriate ways unless consensual verbal communication is first established by that said person or persons. And you shall be tortured by the neverending screams of ghostly torturing. Waterboarding and or wet willies are not legally nor condoned acts or practices for purposes of this holiday. Oh, I give up. I get it. Please have a safe and happy Halloween. Screw you.

[Co-host]

It's fun.

[John Clay Wolf]

We had a good time at the office yesterday. We did the dress up thing and had the Halloween contest. If you go to John Clay Wolf's show on Facebook. John. The John Clay Wolf show on Facebook. You can see all the.

[Co-host]

And nobody did anything inappropriate. That was very nice. Nobody came dressed like a sexy waitress.

[John Clay Wolf]

Or the nerd.

[Co-host]

I know we have.

[John Clay Wolf]

We had. Remember before.

[Co-host]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ Prekay]

It wasn't a problem.

[Co-host]

It was no problem at all. Because we didn't have an HR department.

[John Clay Wolf]

Correct. Now it's. No, no. Well, now, when. When we left one of. One of the judges with me, she said, next year we need to do them in categories.

[Co-host]

Categories?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, like have. Have contest categories. And I was like, what category? She said, you need the sluttiest. For sure.

[Co-host]

I totally agree with this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, we could.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Encourage that. She. Brandy, suggested sluttiest category, Scariest C category, and movie themed category.

[Co-host]

Okay, that's pretty good.

[John Clay Wolf]

So if you have a sluttiest category, then it jumps the HR thing, because it was. It was pretty. Oh, okay.

[Co-host]

All part of the show. All part of the show. Step back. Nothing to see here. Jimmy Fallon did some tweets this week speaking of Halloween. How you take a regular movie that you just see all year and you turn it into something scary for Halloween. So here are his tweets. Cut number two.

[Comedian]

Hangover.

[Narrator]

You may not realize it, but every minute of every day, you're enjoying your First Amendment freedoms. You can wear what you want, give out your opinion for free, even if it's unpopular. Listen to your playlist. You can put a sign out on your front lawn that says, vote for Bigfoot. Someone you can believe in. Pray to the God of your choice, or don't you have the right to hang with a posse that thinks like you do. Tell the government what you think about its policies. They're the freedoms that let you be you. And they're all brought to you by the First Amendment.

[Unknown Singer]

Freedom Movie. Like a river in my soul.

[Narrator]

Learn [e-mail] I gotta play this.

[Co-host]

This first one is the Hangover. The movie.

[Comedian]

After a night of drinking poison, three men with amnesia set out to find out if their friend is still alive. The Breakfast Club. A high school principal locks five teenagers in the library until they each have an emotional break, like Saw Torture. The Little Mermaid. A kleptomaniac makes a deal with a sea witch in exchange for human flesh. Home Alone, a neglected child takes joy in torturing people who come to visit him. Cast away, a former FedEx employee loses it all and starts having conversations with a volleyball covered in blood. No more Star Wars. An old hermit convinces a young farm boy to murder his father.

[Satan]

There you go.

[Co-host]

You go.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is Satan's time of year, isn't it? Yeah.

[Satan]

Oh, that's really funny stuff. I love Fallon.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, good. Or Satan.

[Satan]

Yeah, it's hey, it's. It's my time.

[Co-host]

It's your month, isn't it, man?

[Satan]

Yeah, it's. Well, I mean, the whole. The whole damn year, you know, personally, I mean. 21.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh. It's been all you.

[Satan]

It's all me, baby. Yeah. Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got the COVID Pass it around.

[John Clay Wolf]

Awesome.

[Satan]

Awesome. Even without the. Even without the COVID though. Yeah. Oh, it's a great. It's just a great time of year. Beautiful. It's. I guess it's a little cooler up in your neck of the woods these days, right? Yeah. We got down to, like, 420 yesterday afternoon.

[Co-host]

Wow.

[Satan]

Which is a great coincidence. Yeah. Because we were high.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh.

[Co-host]

So people. There are some still joys in hell. Like getting hot, Stone.

[Satan]

Well, my friends and I, we're all adults. We have jobs, stuff to do, so we can't really do a proper Halloween party on a Sunday night. So we did it last night. Yeah. Yeah. And Manson won the costume contest.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[Satan]

Yes.

[Co-host]

Come at it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Charlie Manson?

[Satan]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is the costume contest in. Hail. Hail. Hail.

[Satan]

Hail. I love you Southern guys. Manson won the costume contest, and it was really outstanding. And he looked and acted. He even did a little song exactly like Marilyn Monroe.

[Co-host]

Oh, no.

[Satan]

Yeah. No. And then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson, and we just had a ball. We were so high. So high.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, I'm glad to see that you're still enjoying your own holiday season, Satan. Sure. Well, yeah.

[Satan]

Que sera, sera.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thank you. Good to see you.

[Satan]

Trick or treat.

[DJ Prekay]

All right, y'all know what to do. Hit us up on johnclaywolf.com. you can check out old Episodes on there. You know, stay up to date with what we got going on. Get cool gear. We got hats, shirts, all that hit us up on Facebook. You know, search John ClaywolfShow. We're on Instagram. John's on Twitter. You know, you can holler at all of us. Us. Okay. You know how to spell it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[DJ Prekay]

We appreciate you all listening. Keep on rocking with us.