The John Clay Wolfe Show – JCW ARCHIVE: Haunted Halloween Hits!

Date: October 24, 2025
Host: John Clay Wolfe & The Wolf Pack
Episode Focus:
A throwback Halloween-themed episode filled with music parodies, office festivities, irreverent banter about costumes and HR, and a visit from their “Satan” character reflecting on Halloween celebrations from Hell.

Episode Overview

The episode dives into the comedic, spooky, and mischievous side of Halloween as experienced by the John Clay Wolfe crew. Tapping into the show's archives, the cast reminisces and satirizes Halloween traditions, offering music parodies, recounting office contest antics, and welcoming a visit from their humorously inappropriate Satan character. The tone is rowdy and on-brand with their irreverent humor.

Key Points & Discussion Breakdown

1. Halloween Kick-Off and Party Plans

• [00:44] John Clay Wolfe opens by wishing everyone a happy Halloween and hypes up the season, especially on a Saturday night.
  • “Tonight’s the real Halloween, in my opinion, because it’s Saturday, baby. And I’m off work after this party tonight.” — John Clay Wolfe [00:44]
• Debate over Halloween black tie events turns into playful jabs about “Eyes Wide Shut”-style parties.
  • “Is it the Eyes Wide Shut type thing?” — D [01:14]
  • “No, the password is Fidelio.” — A [01:21] (referencing the film)

2. Halloween Song Parody: “Ice Cream Man”

• [01:37] Bobbo presents his Halloween take on Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”—a dark, silly “Ice Cream Man” version:
  • “I am Ice Cream Man / Evil ice cream man / Scaring little children with my band blaring in their ears / Evil little jingle that they fear.” — Bobbo, in Ozzy Osbourne parody [02:03]
• The segment is met with a mix of horror and hilarity:
  • “Coming to a theater near you. That’s pretty weird, ma’.” — John [03:06]

3. Tales from the Crypt Parody & PC Halloween

• [03:16] A sendup of “Tales from the Crypt” with the team lampooning political correctness in Halloween storytelling, playing out an exaggerated, disclaimer-filled horror tale:
  • “Her wind will soon be upon us and with it dead will rise and zombies will tear you limb from limb, eating your flesh.” — E [03:30]
  • “A quick disclaimer that the violent nature of the zombies is not approved by this station... Also, eating of flesh is highly unsubstantiated...” — H [03:39]
  • Ends with a comedic, frustrated sign-off:
    “Please have a safe and happy Halloween.” — H [04:20]
    “Screw you.” — E [04:22]

4. Office Costume Contest & HR Humor

• [04:30] The crew reminisces about their office Halloween costume contest, poking fun at HR rules:
  • “And nobody did anything inappropriate. That was very nice. Nobody came dressed like a sexy waitress.” — D [04:43]
  • The introduction of a HR department is credited for the new level of ‘appropriateness’.
  • The judges consider future contest “categories”:
    • “Brandi Suggested sluttiest category, scariest one, and movie themed category.” — John [05:16]
    • “So if you have a sluttiest category, then it jumps the HR thing because it was pre-…” — John [05:26]

5. Halloween Movie Rewrites (Cue: Jimmy Fallon’s Tweets)

• [05:30] The crew reads out horrorized versions of famous movies a la Jimmy Fallon:
  • “The Breakfast Club: A high school principal locks five teenagers in the library until they each have an emotional breakdown — like soft torture.” — J [06:00]
  • “Star Wars: An old hermit convinces a young farm boy to murder his father.” — J [06:30]

6. Halloween with Satan – Partying in Hell

• [06:39] “Satan” joins for Halloween banter, reflecting on how Hell celebrates the holiday:
  • “This is Satan’s time of year, isn’t it?” — John [06:39]
  • “It’s all me, baby. Yeah. Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got the COVID and passed it around.” — Satan [06:59]
  • Discussion of Hell’s costume contest:
    • “Manson won the costume contest, and it was really outstanding... He even did a little song exactly like Marilyn Monroe.” — Satan [08:00]
    • “Then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson, and we just had a ball. We were so high. So high.” — Satan [08:16]
  • Touches on adult Halloween parties, the “joys in hell,” and keeping the Halloween spirit alive.
    • “There are some still joys in hell. Like getting hot, Stone.” — D [07:32]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Halloween Black Tie Party:
  • “I haven’t worn a tux since COVID.” — John Clay Wolfe [01:09]
• PC Halloween Satire:
  • “There will be no attacking or touching of any human by demons in any inappropriate, appropriate ways unless consensual verbal communication is first established…” — H [03:54]
• Satan on 2021 being ‘his year’:
  • “It’s all me, baby. Yeah. Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got the COVID and passed it around.” — Satan [06:59]
• Hell’s Costume Contest:
  • “Manson won the costume contest… then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson, and we just had a ball. We were so high.” — Satan [08:16]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:44] – John Clay Wolfe and crew discuss Halloween parties and costumes.
• [01:37] – Bobbo’s “Ice Cream Man” Halloween parody song.
• [03:16] – Tales from the Crypt PC parody.
• [04:30] – Office costume contest stories and HR jokes.
• [05:30] – Halloween movie rewrites via Jimmy Fallon’s tweets.
• [06:39] – “Satan” visits: how Halloween is celebrated in Hell.

Final Thoughts

The episode leans heavily into the show’s trademark blend of parody, raunch, and rapid-fire banter. It’s a playful tribute to Halloween, both poking fun at costume culture and celebrating the holiday’s enduring weirdness. For fans, it’s a blast of archived antics; for newcomers, a wild, wicked sampling of the John Clay Wolfe Show’s offbeat sensibilities.