JCW ARCHIVE: Haunted Halloween Hits!

Summary

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The John Clay Wolfe Show – JCW ARCHIVE: Haunted Halloween Hits!

Date: October 24, 2025
Host: John Clay Wolfe & The Wolf Pack
Episode Focus:
A throwback Halloween-themed episode filled with music parodies, office festivities, irreverent banter about costumes and HR, and a visit from their “Satan” character reflecting on Halloween celebrations from Hell.

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Episode Overview

The episode dives into the comedic, spooky, and mischievous side of Halloween as experienced by the John Clay Wolfe crew. Tapping into the show's archives, the cast reminisces and satirizes Halloween traditions, offering music parodies, recounting office contest antics, and welcoming a visit from their humorously inappropriate Satan character. The tone is rowdy and on-brand with their irreverent humor.

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Key Points & Discussion Breakdown

1. Halloween Kick-Off and Party Plans

• [00:44] John Clay Wolfe opens by wishing everyone a happy Halloween and hypes up the season, especially on a Saturday night.
  • “Tonight’s the real Halloween, in my opinion, because it’s Saturday, baby. And I’m off work after this party tonight.” — John Clay Wolfe [00:44]
• Debate over Halloween black tie events turns into playful jabs about “Eyes Wide Shut”-style parties.
  • “Is it the Eyes Wide Shut type thing?” — D [01:14]
  • “No, the password is Fidelio.” — A [01:21] (referencing the film)

2. Halloween Song Parody: “Ice Cream Man”

• [01:37] Bobbo presents his Halloween take on Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”—a dark, silly “Ice Cream Man” version:
  • “I am Ice Cream Man / Evil ice cream man / Scaring little children with my band blaring in their ears / Evil little jingle that they fear.” — Bobbo, in Ozzy Osbourne parody [02:03]
• The segment is met with a mix of horror and hilarity:
  • “Coming to a theater near you. That’s pretty weird, ma’.” — John [03:06]

3. Tales from the Crypt Parody & PC Halloween

• [03:16] A sendup of “Tales from the Crypt” with the team lampooning political correctness in Halloween storytelling, playing out an exaggerated, disclaimer-filled horror tale:
  • “Her wind will soon be upon us and with it dead will rise and zombies will tear you limb from limb, eating your flesh.” — E [03:30]
  • “A quick disclaimer that the violent nature of the zombies is not approved by this station... Also, eating of flesh is highly unsubstantiated...” — H [03:39]
  • Ends with a comedic, frustrated sign-off:
    “Please have a safe and happy Halloween.” — H [04:20]
    “Screw you.” — E [04:22]

4. Office Costume Contest & HR Humor

• [04:30] The crew reminisces about their office Halloween costume contest, poking fun at HR rules:
  • “And nobody did anything inappropriate. That was very nice. Nobody came dressed like a sexy waitress.” — D [04:43]
  • The introduction of a HR department is credited for the new level of ‘appropriateness’.
  • The judges consider future contest “categories”:
    • “Brandi Suggested sluttiest category, scariest one, and movie themed category.” — John [05:16]
    • “So if you have a sluttiest category, then it jumps the HR thing because it was pre-…” — John [05:26]

5. Halloween Movie Rewrites (Cue: Jimmy Fallon’s Tweets)

• [05:30] The crew reads out horrorized versions of famous movies a la Jimmy Fallon:
  • “The Breakfast Club: A high school principal locks five teenagers in the library until they each have an emotional breakdown — like soft torture.” — J [06:00]
  • “Star Wars: An old hermit convinces a young farm boy to murder his father.” — J [06:30]

6. Halloween with Satan – Partying in Hell

• [06:39] “Satan” joins for Halloween banter, reflecting on how Hell celebrates the holiday:
  • “This is Satan’s time of year, isn’t it?” — John [06:39]
  • “It’s all me, baby. Yeah. Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got the COVID and passed it around.” — Satan [06:59]
  • Discussion of Hell’s costume contest:
    • “Manson won the costume contest, and it was really outstanding... He even did a little song exactly like Marilyn Monroe.” — Satan [08:00]
    • “Then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson, and we just had a ball. We were so high. So high.” — Satan [08:16]
  • Touches on adult Halloween parties, the “joys in hell,” and keeping the Halloween spirit alive.
    • “There are some still joys in hell. Like getting hot, Stone.” — D [07:32]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Halloween Black Tie Party:
  • “I haven’t worn a tux since COVID.” — John Clay Wolfe [01:09]
• PC Halloween Satire:
  • “There will be no attacking or touching of any human by demons in any inappropriate, appropriate ways unless consensual verbal communication is first established…” — H [03:54]
• Satan on 2021 being ‘his year’:
  • “It’s all me, baby. Yeah. Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got the COVID and passed it around.” — Satan [06:59]
• Hell’s Costume Contest:
  • “Manson won the costume contest… then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson, and we just had a ball. We were so high.” — Satan [08:16]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:44] – John Clay Wolfe and crew discuss Halloween parties and costumes.
• [01:37] – Bobbo’s “Ice Cream Man” Halloween parody song.
• [03:16] – Tales from the Crypt PC parody.
• [04:30] – Office costume contest stories and HR jokes.
• [05:30] – Halloween movie rewrites via Jimmy Fallon’s tweets.
• [06:39] – “Satan” visits: how Halloween is celebrated in Hell.

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Final Thoughts

The episode leans heavily into the show’s trademark blend of parody, raunch, and rapid-fire banter. It’s a playful tribute to Halloween, both poking fun at costume culture and celebrating the holiday’s enduring weirdness. For fans, it’s a blast of archived antics; for newcomers, a wild, wicked sampling of the John Clay Wolfe Show’s offbeat sensibilities.

Transcript

[A]

The John Clay Wolf show has appeared on terrestrial radio for a really, really, really long time. So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our. We found something funny. And, yes, it's contagious. Gather round as the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.

[B]

Boo. Did I scare you? Nah. It's your boy, DJ Prek with the John Clay Wolf show getting spooky in the archives. And we're gonna take it back to when John and the crew were having some Halloween fun. Bobbos got a great Halloween jam. And Satan even stops by to tell us how they get down, down below. So here's another treat for you, Tricks. Check it out.

[C]

800-800-Rode. My name is John Clay Wolf. Good morning. Happy Halloween. Coming up. Tonight's the real Halloween, in my opinion, because it's Saturday, baby. And I'm off work after this party tonight.

[A]

Amen.

[C]

Yes. Big party.

[D]

Y' all dressing up?

[C]

No, it's. It's just a big party that happens once a year here. So it's a black tie for. I haven't had on a. I haven't worn a tux in a year. I haven't worn a tux in two years. I haven't worn a tux since COVID.

[D]

A black tie event for Halloween?

[C]

Yeah. Is it the Eyes Wide Shut type thing?

[D]

John's got a different side?

[A]

No, the password is Fidelio.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Love it.

[C]

Speaking of Halloween and Ozzy Osbourne, who's our favorite Halloween character? Bob, you did some bit. I haven't heard it yet, but JD Said it's good. An Ozzy spinoff Halloween song.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I was driving to work and I heard Iron man. And, you know, I don't have to tell you, but I can be a weird guy sometimes, just the way my mind works. And I thought you could change that lyric into kind of a. Kind of a Halloweeny thing and then maybe put some sound effects and things. And this is what I came up with.

[F]

I am Ice Cream Man Evil ice cream man Scaring little children with my band blaring in their ears Evil little jingle that they fear.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Offering little tights 88 varieties. They don't like liverwurst and sardine. I sell flavors that make them scream.

[C]

Bobbo just screams.

[F]

As fast as they can.

[E]

Nobody wants that. Everybody wants it.

[C]

Coming to a theater near you. That's pretty weird, ma'.

[E]

Am.

[C]

Oh, you're kind of weird, man. What's the other one? Did you do another one?

[A]

Yeah, this is from some time ago.

[G]

You.

[A]

Do you remember Tales from The Crypt on hbo. No, I always used to love that. The Crypt Keeper. Oh, yeah, yeah, this is. This is something we came up when there was a question about Halloween being 2pc.

[E]

Her wind will soon be upon us and with it dead will rise and zombies will tear you limb from limb, eating your flesh.

[H]

A quick disclaimer that the violent nature of the zombies is not approved by this station. Also, eating of flesh is highly unsubstantiated and not allowed.

[E]

What? The demons from hell will attack all souls, dragging you to the pits of hell.

[H]

Also, there will be no attacking or touching of any human by demons in any inappropriate, appropriate ways unless consensual verbal communication is first established by that said person or persons.

[E]

And you shall be tortured by the never ending screams of ghostly torturing.

[H]

Waterboarding and or wet willies are not legally nor condoned acts or practices for purposes of this holiday.

[E]

Oh, I give up. I get it.

[H]

Please have a safe and happy Halloween.

[E]

Screw you.

[I]

Fun.

[C]

We had a good time at the office yesterday. We did the dress up thing and had the Halloween contest. If you go to John Clay Wolf show on Facebook. John. The John Clay Wolf show on Facebook. You can see all the.

[D]

And nobody did anything inappropriate. That was very nice. Nobody came dressed like a sexy waitress.

[C]

It's because we have a cigar now.

[E]

I know we have.

[B]

We had.

[C]

We remember before.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It wasn't a problem.

[D]

No problem at all. Because we didn't have an HR department.

[E]

Correct.

[B]

Now it's.

[C]

No, no. Well, now when we left one of. One of the judges with me, she said, next year we need to do them in categories.

[D]

Categories?

[C]

Yeah, like have. Have contests categories. And I was like, what category? She said, you need the sluttiest for sure.

[D]

I totally agree with this.

[C]

Yeah, encourage that. Brandi Suggested sluttiest category, scariest 1 Cav category and movie themed category. Okay, that's pretty good. So if you have a sluttiest category, then it jumps the HR thing because it was. It was pre. Oh, okay.

[D]

All part of the show. All part of the show. Step back. Nothing to see here. Jimmy Fallon did some tweets this week speaking of Halloween. How you take a regular movie that you just see all year and you turn it into something scary for Halloween. So here are his tweets. Cut number two. His first one is the Hangover. The movie.

[J]

After a night of drinking poison, three men with amnesia set out to find out if their friend is still alive. The Breakfast Club. A high school principal locks five teenagers in the library until they each have an Emotional breakdown like soft torture. The Little Mermaid. A kleptomaniac makes a deal with a sea witch in exchange for human flesh. Home Alone, a neglected child takes joy in torturing people who come to visit him. Castaway. A former FedEx employee loses it all and starts having conversations with a volleyball covered in blood. Star Wars. An old hermit convinces a young farm boy to murder his father.

[D]

There you go.

[C]

Thank you. This is Satan's time of year, isn't it? Yeah.

[I]

Oh, that's really funny, Stu. I love that one.

[C]

Yeah. Good morning, Satan. Yeah, it's.

[E]

Hey, it's.

[I]

It's my time.

[D]

It's your month, isn't it, man?

[I]

Yes. Well, I mean, the whole.

[E]

The whole damn year.

[I]

You know, personally, I mean. 21.

[C]

Oh, it's been all you.

[I]

It's all me, baby. Yeah. Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got the COVID and passed it around.

[E]

Awesome.

[I]

Awesome. Even without the. Even without the COVID though. Yeah. Oh, it's a great. It's just a great time of year. Beautiful. It's. I guess it's a little cooler up in your neck of the woods these days, right? Yeah, we got down to, like, 420 yesterday afternoon.

[B]

Wow.

[I]

Which is a great coincidence. Yeah. Because we. We were high.

[E]

Oh.

[D]

So, people, there are some still joys in hell. Like getting hot, Stone.

[I]

Well, my friends and I, we're all adults. We have jobs, stuff to do, so we can't really do a proper Halloween party on a Sunday night. So we did it last night. Yeah. Yeah. And Manson won the. The costume contest.

[E]

Really?

[I]

Yes.

[D]

I'm at it.

[C]

Charlie Manson.

[I]

Yeah.

[C]

This is the costume contest in Hail. Hail Hell.

[I]

Hail I love you Southern guys. Manson won the costume contest, and it was. It was really outstanding. And he looked and acted. He even did a little song exactly like Marilyn Monroe.

[C]

Oh, no.

[I]

Yeah. No. And then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson, and we just had a ball. We were so high. So high.

[C]

Well, I'm glad to see that you're still enjoying your own holiday season, Satan.

[I]

Sure. Yeah. Que serence around.

[A]

Thank you.

[I]

What are you gonna do? Trick or treat.

[G]

All right, y' all know what to do. Hit us up on John Claywolf dot com. You can check out old episodes on there. You know, stay up to date with what we got going on. Get cool gear.

[B]

We got hats, shirts. All that hit us up on Facebook.

[G]

You know, search John Clay Wolf show. We're on Instagram. John's on Twitter. You know, you can holler at all of us. Okay. You know how to spell it.

[E]

Okay.

[G]

We appreciate you all listening. Keep on rocking with us.