JCW ARCHIVE: Paul McCartney's Flabby Back

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode Summary: "JCW ARCHIVE: Paul McCartney's Flabby Back"

Release Date: November 9, 2024

In this entertaining episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show, host John Clay Wolfe and his co-hosts delve into a humorous and candid discussion about attending a Paul McCartney concert. The episode, titled "JCW ARCHIVE: Paul McCartney's Flabby Back," offers listeners a mix of personal anecdotes, witty banter, and light-hearted critiques of the legendary musician’s performance and personal life.

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1. Introduction to the Segment

The episode kicks off with John Clay Wolfe setting the stage for a nostalgic trip down memory lane, introducing archived clips and inviting the "Wolf Pack" to join in the throwback adventure.

John Clay Wolfe [00:01]:
"Gather round as the Wolf Pack goes on this throwback adventure."

DJ Prek [00:22]:
"What is up, people? It's your boy, DJ Prek with the John Clay Wolf show chilling in the archives... Paul McCartney's old ass puts on a great show."

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2. The Paul McCartney Concert Experience

a. Ticket Troubles and Pricing

Gigi shares her frustration over the exorbitant ticket prices and the challenges in securing promoter tickets post-COVID. The conversation highlights the high cost of $1,600 for premium seats and the disappointment in not receiving the anticipated value.

Gigi [02:15]:
"Y'all heard me bitching about it last week. We paid sixteen hundred dollars for these tickets."

Gigi [02:22]:
"I asked my assistant to get me tickets to the McCartney show. I better leave with a percent of the publishing."

b. Concert Seating and Value

The hosts discuss the quality of the seats, questioning whether the $800 per seat was justified. Gigi humorously laments not witnessing Paul McCartney's aging physique as expected for someone of his stature and age.

Gigi [05:40]:
"Does this feel like a $800 seat to you? It doesn't feel like $800 seat to me."

Gigi [06:08]:
"For $800, I wanted to see that on Paul McCartney and I did not get to see that... looks like a deal of wet clay and a paddle."

c. Performance and Setlist

Gigi praises McCartney's musicianship, noting his ability to play multiple instruments during the performance. However, she criticizes his setlist choices, expressing a preference for hit songs over new material.

Gigi [07:16]:
"He can sing, man. He's got some hits... I felt like I was at the Beatles concert."

Gigi [07:36]:
"Just play the damn hits. And then he gets to play his new stuff. I'm not here for an education."

d. Interactions with Security

A humorous recount of Gigi's interaction with concert security unfolds as she attempts to exit the venue early, only to be confronted and rebuked by an usher for her behavior.

Gigi [12:25]:
"What? He said, my legs are cramping up. They're hurting. But you need to sit in your seat."

John Clay Wolfe [12:58]:
"What a prick move. You know what you should have done, but here's what, you should have fallen down."

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3. Humorous Encounter with 'Axl Rose'

In a playful segment, Gigi imagines a skit where she confronts Axl Rose about Paul McCartney allegedly copying his rendition of "Live and Let Die," leading to a mock exchange filled with exaggerated accusations and humorous banter.

Gigi [09:12]:
"Axl Rose, come here. I want to tell you something... He stole it. Right here."

Axl Rose [09:22]:
"Get the hell out of cam."

Gigi [10:05]:
"He stole my own two eyes."

The skit culminates with a lighthearted exchange that emphasizes the show's comedic flair.

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4. Paul McCartney’s Personal Life and Relationships

The conversation shifts to Paul McCartney's personal life, specifically his marriages. The hosts humorously discuss his ex-wives, touching upon Heather Mills' wooden leg and Linda McCartney’s passing.

Gigi [15:04]:
"Didn't Paul McCartney have a chick with a wooden leg?"

John Clay Wolfe [16:16]:
"Heather Mills, I think."

John Clay Wolfe [16:30]:
"Paul McCartney's second wife actually lost her leg at a Pink Floyd concert."

Gigi [15:30]:
"Was she the one who had the wooden leg when they started, or did she have an accident during the marriage?"

This segment blends factual references with humorous interpretations, adding depth to the discussion about McCartney beyond his musical career.

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5. Concluding Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, Gigi reflects positively on the concert experience despite the earlier frustrations, acknowledging Paul McCartney’s enduring talent and the overall enjoyment derived from the event.

Gigi [13:54]:
"But anyway, then my pretty wife... I had a great time at the Paul McCartney concert. He did a wonderful job."

Gigi [14:22]:
"Paul McCartney must love the female figure more than any man on the planet."

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Notable Quotes

• Gigi [02:15]:
  "Y'all heard me bitching about it last week. We paid sixteen hundred dollars for these tickets."

• Gigi [07:36]:
  "Just play the damn hits. And then he gets to play his new stuff. I'm not here for an education."

• John Clay Wolfe [12:58]:
  "What a prick move. You know what you should have done, but here's what, you should have fallen down."

• Gigi [09:12]:
  "Axl Rose, come here. I want to tell you something... He stole it. Right here."

• Gigi [14:22]:
  "Paul McCartney must love the female figure more than any man on the planet."

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Final Thoughts

This episode of The John Clay Wolfe Show offers a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and light-hearted critique, making it an engaging listen for fans interested in behind-the-scenes concert experiences and the musings of charismatic hosts. Whether you’re a Paul McCartney aficionado or simply enjoy witty banter about celebrity encounters, this episode delivers an entertaining and relatable narrative.

For more episodes and content, listeners can visit johnclaywolf.com and follow the show on various social media platforms.

Transcript

[John Clay Wolf]

The John Clay Wolf show has appeared on terrestrial radio for a really, really, really long time. So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our. We found something funny. And, yes, it's contagious. Gather round as the Wolf Pack goes on this throwback adventure.

[DJ Prek]

What is up, people? It's your boy, DJ Prek with the John Clay Wolf show chilling in the archives, man, bringing y'all some clips. And look, I don't know much about Paul McCartney myself. I'm more of a Paul Wall fan. But it sounds like his old ass puts on a great show. I do know one thing, though. $800 a ticket. I better leave with a percent of the publishing. But I'm gonna let John break that down.

[Gigi]

Check it out, Gigi.

[Joan]

Yes, dear?

[Gigi]

I saw Paul McCartney on Tuesday night.

[Joan]

Was it good?

[Gigi]

Yes. He's old as dirt, man.

[Joan]

No way.

[Gigi]

He's 80.

[Joan]

Does he look like it? Like Phil Collins.

[Gigi]

I don't know what Phil Collins looks like, but he looks pretty good. I mean, he's just like JD. He dyes his hair, but it looks just right.

[Joan]

JD's hair is beautiful.

[Gigi]

I know.

[Joan]

It's all natural.

[Gigi]

Don't let him lie to you. I tell you what, I don't lie.

[JD]

If I did, I wouldn't start with hair color.

[Joan]

I know, right?

[Gigi]

Right.

[JD]

Thank you, Gigi.

[Gigi]

I mean, it started kind of weird. Like, big lines right into the place. And there was this lady with a megaphone. She was real loud and obnoxious. Like, these people are, like, directing you. Yeah. Do not get in line with your ticket if it's not out. Do not get in line without your ticket ready. Do not, I mean, like, walk up really upset. Walk right up to your face. Do not get in line without your ticket ready.

[JD]

With a big megaphone.

[Gigi]

Listen, gal, my ticket. Do not talk to my megaphone. Listen, gal, my ticket's ready. Are you sure? Yes. Do you want to see it? You want to see it? Did you just go off rattling? Do not. Do not get in line without your ticket ready. Anyway. Anyway.

[JD]

Don't touch my megaphone.

[Gigi]

Yeah, you know, and you don't want to be that guy.

[JD]

No.

[Gigi]

Y'all heard me bitching about it last week. We paid sixteen hundred dollars for these tickets. I asked my assistant to get me tickets to the McCartney show.

[JD]

And you expected them to be from.

[Gigi]

The radio station free because that's how we get our tickets.

[JD]

We're media.

[Gigi]

That's how it works. And they got this new slogan about, well, you know, since Covid's over, we don't get the promoter tickets that we used to get. I'm like, we all need to figure out how to get them. Or guess what? Just pay for them. Cause that's how y'all lured me into this marriage, and I ain't getting my free tickets. I don't give a damn how you get em. Just get em. And if you gotta pay for them out of your pocket, just do it. Because when I write y'all a check for all these ads that I buy all over the country for giving me the Vin Monday through Friday a lot, guess what? I just write the damn check. I pay for it. Just like you need to pay for the tickets that I want. Keep me happy. When my old lady says, hey, Bieber's in town. Can y'all get me tickets? And you write back, we didn't get any promoter tickets from Bieber. That's not what. That's not the answer. That's that. That. Hang on. Give me the mic back.

[JD]

Here we go.

[Gigi]

That is not the answer. When my old lady says, I want Bieber tickets, the answer is, how many would you like, Mrs. Wolf?

[JD]

Joan.

[Gigi]

But, Joan, I want to see Justin Bieber. Will you please. But honey, honey, I can't get you the three tickets. You must buy them yourself. What I want to see is Justin Baber. Justin Baber is my favorito. She's not Spanish, she's Danish. Oh, right. Favorito is more espanola, but nonetheless.

[John Clay Wolf]

But she sounded like a megaphone.

[Gigi]

But I. But I. So. So my assistant bought me these damn tickets. I'm like, I spent, I don't know, an hour jack with the credit card company because I thought somebody was fraudulently trying charging tickets on SeatGeek. And then all that goes down, and I didn't even know it was Tuesday night. Hell, it might have been Monday night. It was Tuesday. Tuesday and some. Thank God. So my assistant was so upset after me blowing it up on Saturday about this that she didn't tell me when the show is.

[JD]

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, senor.

[Gigi]

So thank God, my former brother in law texted me, are you going to Paul McCartney tonight? And I was like, tonight? Tonight, Tonight? Yes, it's tonight. And I look it up on like, oh, my God, these are. I got $1,600 worth of tickets and I didn't even know there's a concert tonight.

[JD]

She almost walked on.

[Gigi]

I almost left town. J.D. i was gonna go somewhere. I was this far from going out of town.

[JD]

Right?

[John Clay Wolf]

So anyway, it was that important to you.

[Gigi]

I forgot it was that night. I just think I'm busy. I'm a busy guy. I don't think anybody understands. I don't even think I understand how busy I am.

[JD]

I agree.

[Gigi]

Nonetheless, I thought it was like next fall, honestly, because they start these, they start promoting this crap so far out, you know, Guns and Roses playing at Sofi, you know, football stadium next January.

[John Clay Wolf]

There's a lot of October and November tickets out there right now on sale.

[Gigi]

Right. So I was, I was expecting to be way out there anyway. The guy, how was the show? I don't want to be that guy that bitches about, you know, you go to a game or you go to concert, you're always like, man, I mean, you know, this doesn't feel like 800 seat.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Gigi]

You know, I mean, does this feel like a 800 seat to you? It doesn't feel like 800 seat to me. And that's a bad guy to be with.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Gigi]

So I really wanted to excuse myself from myself.

[JD]

Just wanted to enjoy the moment.

[Gigi]

I did feel better when one of my, one of the give me the Ven guys, right, they bought 500 seats and they were crappier seats than mine. So that means that they're just really expensive seats. But I can tell you that. Was it worth sixteen hundred dollars? As much money as that? Is it? That's a lot of money. It is.

[Joan]

It is.

[Gigi]

Yeah. I think it was worth it.

[JD]

Really?

[Gigi]

Yeah.

[Joan]

Even with the bad seats, it was.

[Gigi]

Like going to see they weren't bad seats. Don't, don't get me wrong, they were not bad seats. But if a brother's throwing down 800 for a seat, I mean, I'm expecting to like see Paul McCartney's wrinkles. I'm expecting to see his flabby old 80 year old ass. Have you ever walked through a locker room at a men's country club golf locker room and seen naked 80 and 90 year old men? Gigi, they have an extremely flat ass and a saggy set that is hanging out when they're walking away from you. You see the bell, the Taco Bell? Oh, absolutely. For $800, I wanted to see that on Paul McCartney and I did not get to see that. I mean, an 80 year old or 90 year old man's ass literally looks like a, like a deal of wet clay and a paddle. Smash it and it's just smashed as flat as a computer screen.

[JD]

But back to Paul McCartney.

[Gigi]

Yeah, he can sing, man. He's got some hits. Dude, you know that you wouldn't believe what this guy did.

[Axl Rose]

What'd he do?

[Gigi]

He did a lot of stuff. I mean, I felt like I was at the Beatles concert. Oh, yeah. And they had John Lennon up on the screen above him, and they were singing a duet back and forth. And he went through all of these songs. You know, the Beatle stuff.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Gigi]

Yeah, that one's okay. You know, and that was kind of the problem about. He'd play three hits and then he'd throw it off track. Yeah. With a. This is something new. Hey, dude, you're 180. Nobody gives a damn about what's coming next new album. Nobody is here for the new album. It's like saying here. You're here at the King Tut exhibit, and there's one. And coming in stainless steel. I don't want to see a stainless steel King Tut. I want to see a gold king.

[JD]

You have 300 hits play, right?

[Gigi]

Just play the damn hits. And then he gets to play in them. And when he goes off rail and starts playing his new stuff. Or be not B, but seaside stuff. We know that y'all don't like this. He said it. Yep, we know what y'all like, but we're gonna make you go through this. And I scream out, but I paid $800. $800. Play the damn hit. I'm not here for an education. He was great. He played the piano, he played the bass, he played the guitar, and he played Live and Let Die so well. It was incredible in the Live and Let Die part felt like a KISS concert. They had heavy, heavy, heavy firearms.

[JD]

Very cool.

[Gigi]

Very. I mean, like, fireworks. Firearms, fireworks. Whatever it takes. When you're 80, you're into guns. But. Axl Rose, come here. I want to tell you something. Axel, good morning. You here? Hey, there he is.

[DJ Prek]

Wake up.

[Axl Rose]

I gotta be on radio with John.

[Gigi]

Axel, I'm gonna tell you something, like right here in this song. Turn up a little bit, Turley. So this is your rendition of Live and Let Die, right?

[Axl Rose]

Yeah.

[Gigi]

He stole it. Right here. Fireworks, fireworks, fireworks. And they went into it. They copied your version. Paul McCartney is on the road copying your version of the song that you stole from him. Nuh uh.

[Axl Rose]

Get the hell out of cam.

[Gigi]

I stole my own two eyes.

[Axl Rose]

I'm gonna sue his ass.

[Gigi]

I would, too.

[Axl Rose]

That's my song.

[Gigi]

It was. It's the highlight of your version of Live and Let Die is the highlight of the Paul. Paul McCarthy live and let Die.

[Axl Rose]

I got that from a James Bond movie.

[John Clay Wolf]

Live and Let Die.

[Gigi]

When you young and you're hot, you.

[Axl Rose]

Know, song that's my song. Where Paul at?

[Gigi]

I. I mean, if you.

[Axl Rose]

I'm going to beat his ass.

[Gigi]

He's on the road, man. He's town to town.

[JD]

It's actually his song.

[Gigi]

No. Right.

[Axl Rose]

Did it have Slash?

[JD]

No.

[Axl Rose]

You can't play that song without slash.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Axl Rose]

Paul McCartney's a jerk. I can't believe it.

[Gigi]

It was much nastier than yours. Oh, he did good. He did good with that. You did good stealing from. Thank you. Thank you, Paul McCartney. You know you did.

[Axl Rose]

You know you did.

[Gigi]

You know you did. Thank you, everybody. Axl Rose, do you mind taking us out to break?

[Axl Rose]

I'm gonna take you out for breakfast, baby. French toast. And more than. John Clay won't show right. After this year.

[Gigi]

You know, busty blondes get to get into places that we don't. So when we Left the Paul McCartney concert, you know, you want to get out of there before you're trying to measure the encore. And my wife's telling me how it's going to go, and I'm like, darling, I love you. It's like Mr. Douglas talking to Lisa in Green Acres.

[JD]

It's got you.

[Gigi]

She's my Lisa. Oh, honey. You know, And I'm like, if there's anything I. I'm in show business. Sure. I've promoted concerts. I've helped play in the encores. Right. I know what's fixing to happen. And what's fixing to happen is a medley of encores. Correct. It is not going to be one. So we sat for a second through the Paul McCartney deal, and I'm like, what I do know is we talk. We parked on the top floor of the garage. It's going to. If we don't get out here at the right time, we're going to get stuck in a death trap hour and a half. So we. We got up, and she agreed she didn't want to get stuck in the traffic. So we start heading out. And, like, when we got close to the garage exit, we're still where you could see the concert from the hall. So you walk up in the portal and look. But there were screens, and you know how I am with those damn curtains. They had those black curtains.

[JD]

Ah, yes. You don't care for them.

[Gigi]

If y'all were listening earlier, I was bitching about black curtains. They had black curtains from the walkway to where you can't see in the room. Did they really? Yeah. And I, you know, I'm peeping through the curtains like a little Peeping Tom to watch the end of it, because I now I'M close enough to the door of the Paul McCartney concert that when they say, boom, it's over. We're at the door, we're in the lead. Even my crippled ass, that can't go fast. I'm like Forrest Gump in the front. I'm going to get out of that parking garage.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, John. You paid for a ticket.

[Gigi]

I understand, but they have these curtains and I'm peeking through the curtains and the guy keeps closing them back. And we're in the encore. And then I'm standing up on the edge of the curtain. She's like, you can't stand there. I'm like, but I'm crippled, you know, I'm a recovering paraplegic.

[JD]

Then go sit in your seat, sir.

[Gigi]

What? He said, my legs are cramping up. They're hurting. But you need to sit in your seat. I said, but it's almost over. I mean, I'm a professional. I know that there's 92 seconds worth of encore left, and then we're all out of here. And I'm leaving at second 85.

[John Clay Wolf]

What a prick move. You know what you should have done, but here's what, you should have fallen down. And that's like $30,000 right there, right.

[Gigi]

In front of him. He said, well, the next time I'm going to call security out. And I said, and then I lost my. I lost my cool a little bit. You?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I'll bet you did.

[Gigi]

But anyway, then my pretty wife. That's why I said, gigi, it happens to you, too. Busty, busty blondes, busty gals, good looking gals. Walk right up and stand where I was standing, where I was catching a lot of heat. I'm getting shook down by the ushers and security, but my good looking wife is sitting there and nobody's saying a damn thing to her. So I go, I go tell on her. That's right. That's right. Absolutely. I said, why are you not on her ass? Look at her.

[Joan]

Because she's a busty blonde and she's beautiful.

[Gigi]

I didn't tell him that it's my wife. He said, well, you know, the show's almost over. That's what I've been trying to tell.

[JD]

You just said that.

[Gigi]

I've been trying to tell you that shows almost. Come on, honey, we're out of here. No, there's a couple more songs. It was pretty comical, but yeah, I had a great time at the Paul McCartney concert. He did a wonderful job And I feel like I saw not Jesus Christ, but who's the guy on the desert people go to see? The.

[JD]

Gandhi.

[Gigi]

Gandhi. Gandhi alive. Yes. The something something. There's a something.

[John Clay Wolf]

Dalai Lama. Yeah, it's in Tibet. The mountains. The snowy mountains of Tibet.

[Gigi]

I mean, Paul McCartney must love the female figure more than any man on the planet.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, you know, he does. He got in a lot of trouble that first tour of America.

[Gigi]

But, I mean, he is not doing this for the money. He is doing it for the skin. Yeah. Why else would he be doing it? Yeah. There's no reason to be doing sick. No. He loves women and that's why he's doing it. And he's got rupees. Oh, yeah. I mean, Paul McCartney. G. Oh, yeah. It's a big deal. I just. I was just laughing at him. That he's working that hard for. That's some strong, powerful stuff you guys got. What'd you call it? The Magic Hoo Ha.

[Joan]

The Tales of the Magic.

[Gigi]

Yes. Who was. I mean, didn't Paul McCartney have a chick with a wooden leg?

[Joan]

Yeah, I think so. Wasn't that his last of all?

[Gigi]

And I brought that up to the security guard. I said, you know, his ex wife, that was my cousin, she had a handicap, too. She's had a wooden leg. And that security guard's looking at me like, why are you deviating this? You get your ass in your seat.

[JD]

Right.

[Gigi]

Do you have a wooden leg, sir? No, but damn it, I'm. I'm getting a little stiff.

[JD]

My cousin.

[Gigi]

What was that song, Bob? Plywood. Pam. They sang about polythene. Pam. Same thing.

[John Clay Wolf]

That was John.

[JD]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Abbey Road.

[Gigi]

So he liked girls with wooden legs, too?

[John Clay Wolf]

Probably. He probably would have taken one, except that he found Yoko first.

[Gigi]

Now, didn't the gal with the wooden leg take McCartney for, like, 50 mil?

[John Clay Wolf]

A lot. A lot. Wife number two. Yeah. Linda McCartney was, you know, they were married.

[Gigi]

Like, was that his baby mama?

[John Clay Wolf]

Linda was. Yeah. Now Heather mills was number two. Linda died of cancer, like, in the 90s.

[Gigi]

Who had the wooden leg?

[John Clay Wolf]

Heather Mills, I think. Heather something, right?

[JD]

Yes.

[Gigi]

So did she have the wooden leg when they started, or did she have an accident during the marriage?

[John Clay Wolf]

I think she had it for a long time.

[JD]

Long time. Whole time.

[Joan]

Yeah. She had it when they started.

[John Clay Wolf]

Paul McCartney's second wife actually lost her leg at a Pink Floyd concert.

[Joan]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

She got so high that she ate despite every Twinkie the concession stand had. They had to remove her at the knee on the left side. That's diabetes, and that's today's today in rock history.

[Gigi]

I'm Wallace Edwards, diabetes.

[DJ Prek]

All right, y'all know what to do. Hit us up on johnclaywolf.com. you can check out old episodes on there. You know, stay up to date with what we got going on. Get cool gear. We got hats, shirts, all that hit us up on Facebook. You know, search John Clay Wolf show. We're on Instagra. John's on Twitter. You know, you can holler at all of us. Okay. You know how to spell it.

[Gigi]

Okay.

[DJ Prek]

We appreciate y'all listening. Keep on rocking with us.