JCW ARCHIVE: Puppy Pick-Up

Summary

---

The John Clay Wolfe Show – ARCHIVE: Puppy Pick-Up (Nov 29, 2025)

Main Theme & Purpose

In this throwback episode, John Clay Wolfe and the crew dive into the chaotic realities of owning a new puppy, navigating unexpected family visits, and the comic pitfalls of dog-sitting arrangements. The conversation centers around John’s newly acquired labradoodle puppy, humorous family dynamics with his mother-in-law’s visit from Denmark, and the comical adventures and misadventures that arise from trying to manage a baby dog when travel plans go awry.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Chaos and Travel Disruptions

• John shares the backdrop: Travel plans for the family were upended due to lingering COVID-related uncertainties. His mother-in-law, finally able to travel from Copenhagen after two years, brings added excitement and slight tension to the household.
• Lighter take on the mother-in-law: John jokes about language barriers making family visits easier. “She could be cussing me up and down and I can't understand a word she's saying.” (01:46)
• Household routine upended: With a full house, the focus shifts from family getaway to managing guests and pets at home.

2. The Puppy Dilemma: Who Picks Up the Dog?

• Arranging care: When travel plans were still possible, John’s wife looked for a temporary home for their 2.5-month-old labradoodle, choosing not to kennel such a young dog.
• Workplace camaraderie: Rob, the CTO at GiveMeTheVIN, volunteers to puppy-sit. The arrangement is set for the expected duration of the trip.
• Gift of appreciation: To thank Rob, the family sends their regular flower delivery to his home, underlining the “special treatment” for enduring a puppy.

3. Communication Breakdown and Domestic Delegation

• The return home: With travel canceled, the debate becomes who is responsible for coordinating the return of the dog.
• Classic marital back-and-forth:
  • John: “She's like, you need to go pick that dog up. Like, no, you need to go pick that dog up, loose lips, honey.” (03:54)
  • The comedic routine builds as John feels unfairly burdened with managing the logistical aftermath, making it clear he wants no association with the mix-up.

4. Rob’s Steadiness and Kids’ Puppy Promises

• Praise for Rob’s unflappability: “Good thing about it Rob, is it Rob don't rattle. If you guys made a plan that stretches to Friday, he's going to fulfill his end of that deal.” (05:25)
• Debate over keeping the dog: John quips about being “obligated” to leave the puppy with Rob if their family seems happier, humorously admitting the kids' promises to care for the pup never last.
  • “Nothing. So she winds up having to take care of the dog. So whose fault is that? Mine even. Course. Right?” (06:04)

5. Puppy Problems: The "Excitable" Labradoodle

• The puppy’s quirks: The new dog, a labradoodle, brings predictable comic headaches—mainly uncontrollable peeing when picked up.
  • “I like him. But when you pick him up, he gets excited and he pees on you. Poodles… They have that loose bladder. They get very excited and they whiz.” (06:26)
• Universal dog parent woes: The crew jokes about the “wet consequence” of picking up the adorable but leaky pup:
  • “I'm telling you straight up. He's the cutest damn thing you've ever seen in your life. But you better like dogs that piss on you.” (07:13)

6. Solutions(?) and More Puppy Antics

• Unexpected advice: On stopping the puppy from peeing, the best advice seems to be, “Stop picking him up.” (07:38)
• Other puppy habits: John describes the puppy’s habit of furiously humping a pillow, amused yet bewildered.
  • “He's got this one pillow. I mean, he is in love with this thing. I mean, ears tucked, like, smiling, smiling. And he's just humping like 2000 RPM.” (07:48)
• Permanent fixes: The team jokes about neutering (“fixing”) the dog or even finding it a new home if his antics continue.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the mother-in-law’s visit:
  “She could be cussing me up and down and I can't understand a word she's saying.” — John Clay Wolfe (01:46)
• On the puppy-sitting miscommunication:
  “You gave him the dog. You gave him the flowers. He wanted to do it. This dog is your problem.” — John Clay Wolfe (03:34)
• On puppy’s excitable bladder:
  “Who wants to pick up a dog pisses on you? I'm not interested. Count me out.” — John Clay Wolfe (06:47)
• On kids’ promises and reality:
  “We're going to pick up all the mess and we're going to sleep with me on Monday… And nothing. So she winds up having to take care of the dog.” — John Clay Wolfe (05:54)
• On the dog loving a pillow:
  “He's just humping like 2000 RPM. Like that guy. That dog's gonna throw a bearing, man.” — John Clay Wolfe (07:50)

---

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 00:52–01:17 – DJ Prek’s show setup and post-Thanksgiving banter
• 01:17–03:54 – John’s family visit, travel plans, and the search for a puppy-sitter
• 03:54–04:24 – Debate over who has to pick up the dog
• 04:40–06:47 – Discussion about Rob’s experience and steadfastness as the dogsitter
• 06:47–08:32 – The puppy’s excitable habits and what to do about them

---

Language & Tone

This episode maintains the show’s signature blend of irreverence, self-deprecating humor, and candid storytelling. The crew riffs on family dynamics, pet ownership headaches, and the universal comedy that arises from household chaos—all with a relaxed, conversational vibe. Listeners can easily relate whether they’re pet people or simply fans of candid, laugh-out-loud family stories.

---

Transcript

[GEHA Announcer]

At geha, we stand behind our members because we were founded by members. We're not focused on Wall street, we're focused on Main Street. So we've built dental plans with 100% coverage for in network preventive care. With access to a nationwide network of nearly 600,000 provider locations, GEHA is proud to offer dental plans exclusively for federal employees, federal retirees, and military retirees. Visit geha.com to learn more.

[John Clay Wolf]

The John Clay Wolf show has appeared on terrestrial radio for a really, really, really long time. So we dug into our pockets and on the other side of our. We found something funny. And yes, it's contagious. Gather round as the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.

[DJ Prek]

What's the damn deal? It's your boy, DJ Prek with the John Clay Wolf show up in the archives. And I hope y' all had good Thanksgiving and enjoyed the delicious turkey, the succulent deviled eggs, and the mounds of golden mashed potatoes. Without the golden puppy showers that John had to face. He put away his new pup when the in laws came through. But now the question is, does he want to pick it back up? Would you check it out?

[John Clay Wolf]

We've just been. I mean, I've been working all week on the phone and on the computer. I think I was in the office first. Two days, wasn't it? Yeah, I saw you up there Monday. Our trip got smoked. We were going out of town and As a family or. Yes, in the. My mother in law's in town from Copenhagen because, you know, they finally lifted the COVID restrictions on she's from Copenhagen, Denmark, that they could travel. So the second that that got fixed, she booked a flight. Come here she is. My. My wife had not seen her mother for two years. Wow. Because of COVID And now it's firing up again. So get ready. What if she's stuck with you? Yeah, well, that's what I was going to say. Locked here for two years. She doesn't bother me, man. Oh, really? I mean, she could be cussing me up and down and I can't understand a word she's saying. Oh, there you go. So it doesn't matter. And my wife has to translate. So my wife just keep the peace. If she was cussing me, she'd translate it something nice. She loves you very much. You're the best son in law ever. That didn't seem like love was a word there. No. I mean, no, she's easy. I want them to come over more often. I really don't. More the merrier with Me, I don't care. They're good. Because you got a babysitter, that's why. Not really. Not this week. I mean, we can. We haven't done anything without her. But I did get a babysitter for the dog. Did you hear about this? So the dog for the dog? Why? Well, I mean, what do you do when you leave town? You put your dog in a kennel? We have a dog that's like two and a half months old. Oh, and she didn't want to put him in a kennel. We were going out of town, but it got canceled, and she posted something on Facebook. Hey, do I have any friends that want to keep this dog? This little puppy? I hate to put him in a kennel. And it Rob, that works to give me the. Vin's, like, I'll keep it. So he's had it. So once he. He's got the dog. For the first two days, we weren't. We still weren't sure if we were leaving town or not. And then I'm like, should we go pick the dog up? She's like, man, it sure is nice around here without the dog. And, you know, we get those flowers from Gordon Boswell. Flowers every week. We get a set sent to the office and a set sent to the house. A set sent to the house. And she was like, I'm gonna send them the flowers this week since we're not gonna be here. And he's getting. He's put up with a damn dog. So she's like, well, he got the flowers and everything. So yesterday, when she picks the dog up at it. Rob's house, she's like, you didn't. Rob, we didn't leave town. I'm like, no, I didn't tell him nothing. I didn't. Y' all quit working me. You handle it right. Why. Why do I have to do this stuff? I've got a lot of things to do. Lots. You can't manage the damn dog. I mean, put the damn dog in a kennel if you don't. I mean, don't start blaming stuff on me about who I told what to. And the dog. You gave him the dog. You gave him the flowers. He wanted to do it. This dog is your problem. So yesterday, she's like, you need to go pick that dog up. Like, no, you need to go pick that dog up, loose lips, honey. You need to go pick that damn dog up. Right?

[GEHA Announcer]

At geha, we stand behind our members because we were founded by members. So we build health plans with a nationwide network of 1.7 million providers, plus hearing and fitness discounts. Visit geha.com to find your federal health plan.

[John Clay Wolf]

And it Rob never called you to say, hey, when you get this dog? No. No. Well, the plan was to pick him up on Friday when we got back in town. Ok.

[DJ Prek]

So.

[John Clay Wolf]

But he acted, you know, he sold her. But he's so nice. It Rob is our cto. Give me the vin. He's the chief technology officer. And he was like, oh, my kids love dogs. And we acting very happy about having the dog. So she's like, well, he acts like he really wants it. I'm like, let him have it. You bet. Good thing about it Rob, is it Rob don't rattle. If you guys made a plan that stretches to Friday, he's going to fulfill his end of that deal. It. Rob does not rattle. I like that about him. Well, it. Rob, if you're listening and you want that dog, if you want, if your kids were happier in that household with my little dog, then I feel obligated to let you have it. Won't your kids miss the dog? Not as much as they. They sold us on the whole idea for years. Always do. We're going to do this and we're going to do that. We're going to pick up all the mess and we're going to sleep with me on Monday. He's going to sleep with me on Tuesday and sleep with this one on the. And nothing. So she winds up having to take care of the dog. So whose fault is that? Mine even. Course. Right? So this whole dog thing's coming back to me and I don't want none of this dog. I like him. I like him. But when you pick him up, he gets excited and he pees on you. Poodles. So it's a labradoodle. So it's got a poodle in it. Yeah. And maybe like, it's what. What do you call it? What's that gland? Your. Your prostate? Well, maybe I'm getting biological on. On poodles, but poodles tank. They, they. They have that loose bladder. They get very excited and they whiz. Yeah, that ain't cool, man. I mean, who wants to pick up a dog pisses on you? I'm not interested. Count me out. Don't pick him up then. Right, but I mean, he's looking at you so damn cute. Oh, come on. He won't do it this time. And then you pick the damn dog up and he's so damn cute. And then he doesn't just like Lay it all over you. Just a hit. Just a one shot. And you gotta look at your shirt. You're like, did he get me? No, no, no, he didn't. Then you looked down. Oh, son of a bitch got me again. Life is such a reality show. He's excitable. Everything that happens to you, it's funny. That dog will piss on you. I'm telling you straight up. He's the cutest damn thing you've ever seen in your life. But you better like dogs that piss on you. Well, that's a great way to. Somebody you don't like.

[DJ Prek]

You have over.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hey, hey. Go ahead and pick him up real quick. Oh, he's a great dog. He's a great dog. You love him. Oh, can you say that on the radio? I don't. I haven't dumped anything yet. Well, what can you do to make him stop peeing on you? I'm not sure. There is. Stop picking him up. And then you'll look up. You look up. You know, he's about three months old or two and a half. And he'll just be just humping down on a pillow. He's got this one pillow. I mean, he is in love with this thing. I mean, ears tucked, like, smiling, smiling. And he's just humping like 2000 RPM. Like that guy. That dog's gonna throw a bearing, man. And if this doesn't stop up once he hits puberty, then, wow. We're gonna have to get. We're gonna have to get cream colored leather sofas and pillows. You got to get them fixed, fixed. That's the answer there. Fix them. Is give them away. Who wants a blabberdoor barking son of a. Somebody get that damn dog. Who wants a labradoodle? Who wants a labradoodle? Take two.

[DJ Prek]

All right, y' all know what to do. Hit us up on John claywolf dot com. You can check out old episodes on there. You know, stay up to date with what we got going on. Get cool gear, we got hats, shirts. All that hit us up on Facebook. You know, search John Clay Wolf show. We're on Instagram, John's on Twitter. You know, you can holler at all of us. Okay. You know how to spell it. Okay, we appreciate y' all listening. Keep on rocking with us at geha.

[GEHA Announcer]

We stand behind our members. We were founded by members. So we build health plans with a nationwide network of 1.7 million providers, plus hearing and fitness discounts. Visit geha.com to find your federal health plan.