JCW ARCHIVE: Xmas Twice Removed

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode: JCW ARCHIVE: Xmas Twice Removed Release Date: December 14, 2024

In the episode titled "Xmas Twice Removed," host John Clay Wolfe delves into the intricate dynamics of family gatherings during the holiday season. The discussion is enriched with personal anecdotes, insights into managing familial conflicts, and reflections on the impact of loss and differing beliefs within families. Below is a detailed summary capturing the essence of the episode.

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1. Navigating Difficult Family Members During Holidays

The conversation kicks off with host Charlie prompting guests to share challenging holiday experiences involving family members. Gigi opens up about her late father's tumultuous behavior during New Year's celebrations, highlighting how his negativity often led to conflicts.

Notable Quote:

Gigi (01:42): "That would have to be my dad at New Year's Eve or New Year's Day. Are you kidding me? It starts off as a good time... and then, you know, people's feelings get hurt. People get mad."

Gigi describes her father as a "Negative Nancy," whose offhand remarks could derail the festive spirit, causing misunderstandings and arguments that marred the holiday experience.

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2. The Impact of Personalities and Beliefs

The discussion shifts to how differing personalities and beliefs can strain family interactions. Guests share how unresolved issues, personality clashes, and differing values often escalate tensions during gatherings.

Notable Quote:

J.D. (04:12): "52% of us have people in our family we'd rather not see in the holidays. And most of those issues are around unresolved family issues, personality clashes, beliefs or values, politics, of course, and alcohol."

J.D. emphasizes that these factors contribute significantly to the stress and anxiety many feel during the holiday season, making gatherings a high-anxiety time for numerous families.

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3. Personal Stories: Coping with Loss and Change

Gigi and other guests share heartfelt stories about losing loved ones and how such losses impact holiday traditions and emotions. Gigi reflects on her mother's early passing and the void it created during what should be joyous times.

Notable Quote:

Gigi (10:09): "My mom died young. 58. I didn't realize how young 58 was until now that I'm 50. Yeah, she went pretty young. How old was your dad when he died?"

This segment underscores the profound effect that loss can have on holiday experiences, often intensifying feelings of nostalgia and sadness.

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4. Strategies for Managing Holiday Stress

Guests discuss various strategies to mitigate stress and maintain peace during family gatherings. Charlie shares his approach of limiting interactions and avoiding extended family to preserve his well-being.

Notable Quote:

Charlie (10:56): "Josh in California. What do you do during the holidays? You usually like, shut those people down for like a good three weeks from like the 20th to like the third or something."

This tactic, although extreme, highlights the lengths individuals may go to shield themselves from toxic interactions and preserve their mental health during potentially stressful times.

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5. Religion and Family Dynamics

The role of religion in family interactions is another critical topic. Gigi recounts the religious tensions within her family, particularly between her Muslim uncle and her father, who was a Mason. These differing beliefs often led to heated arguments during gatherings.

Notable Quote:

Gigi (08:36): "He would get into arguments with my dad who was a Mason because he said Masons are secretive and Muslims share knowledge."

Such conflicts illustrate how deeply ingrained beliefs can create rifts within families, especially when differing ideologies clash during intimate gatherings.

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6. The Role of Alcohol in Holiday Conflicts

Alcohol consumption emerges as a significant trigger for conflicts, with guests sharing how increased drinking during holidays leads to heightened emotions and confrontations.

Notable Quote:

J.D. (04:34): "Alcohol... because people get drunk and they say stupid stuff, they tell you how they really feel about you. Are you ready for that? No, you're not."

The conversation highlights the precarious balance between enjoying festive drinks and managing the potential fallout from lowered inhibitions and honest, sometimes hurtful, revelations.

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7. Reflections and Takeaways

As the episode concludes, guests reflect on the inevitability of familial tensions during holidays and the importance of setting boundaries to maintain personal well-being. The overarching theme emphasizes self-care and the need to navigate family dynamics with empathy and strategic distancing when necessary.

Notable Quote:

Charlie (11:09): "It's a man-made tradition that everybody's inculcating in their lives. It's like adding more stress to their own world."

This reflection serves as a reminder that while holidays are culturally significant, the personal approach to celebrating them can vary greatly based on individual and familial circumstances.

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Conclusion

"Xmas Twice Removed" offers a candid exploration of the challenges many face during holiday gatherings. Through personal stories and honest discussions, John Clay Wolfe and his guests provide valuable insights into managing family dynamics, coping with loss, and maintaining mental health during a season that is often celebrated as joyous but can be fraught with emotional complexity. This episode serves as both a mirror and a guide for listeners navigating their own holiday experiences.

Transcript

[Gigi]

Podbean. Your message amplified.

[Charlie]

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[Gigi]

Podbean.

[Charlie]

Podbean.

[Gigi]

Podbean. Podbean. The AI powered all in one podcast platform.

[DJ Prekay]

Thousands of businesses and enterprises trust Podbean to launch their podcasts.

[Gigi]

Launch your podcast on Podbean today.

[DJ Prekay]

My school uses Podbean.

[Charlie]

My church too.

[Gigi]

I love it. I really do. Health insurance doesn't have to break the bank. At oregonhealthcare.gov we're here to get you covered. Visit oregonhealthcare.gov to get started.

[John Clay Wolf]

The John Clay Wolf show has appeared on terrestrial radio for a really, really, really long time. So we dug into our pockets and on the other side of our we found something funny. And yes, it's contagious. Gather round. As the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.

[DJ Prekay]

What it do is your boy DJ Prekay with the John Clay Wolf show spreading some holiday cheer from the archives. And this one is for all the grumpy grandparents and babies. Mamas. Mamas. You get to see around the holidays. You know, everybody got that one in the family that just don't know how to act. But hey, you gotta love them. And John and the crew all have their accounts, and the callers even get in on the action. So check this out, Gigi, we were.

[Charlie]

Talking about this a week or two ago, but do you have any holiday moments recall, or are there people in your family, extended or immediate, that you'd prefer not to have at a holiday dinner?

[Gigi]

That would be. It's gonna sound mean, but. And even though he's dead, it would have to be my dad at New Year's Eve or New Year's Day. Are you kidding me?

[Charlie]

What's he doing?

[Gigi]

It starts off as a good time.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Gigi]

And then, you know, people's feelings get hurt, People get mad. Sometimes they go to fisticuffs. And then we're wondering why it happened. This is not a good way to start the year. So, yep, that would have to be it.

[Charlie]

Gigi, you're grabbing a little scotch there.

[Gigi]

Wow, I need some. I need a lot of scotch. I got my holiday noggin.

[Charlie]

What would he do to. What was his topic that would set everybody off?

[Gigi]

Anything that was just him. You know, you're like, ooh, Dad, I learned how to dive in the swimming pool today. And he's like, is there any water left in it? You know what I mean? Like, are you.

[Charlie]

Yeah, like, give me another one. Yeah, that's good.

[Gigi]

Yeah, that's what he said. You're like, ooh, I'm gonna get an outfit right from where? Omar the tentmaker. Like, it's just the way that he was. You know what I mean? And he just.

[Charlie]

Negative Nancy.

[Gigi]

Most definitely.

[Charlie]

And was he married to your mother at this time?

[Gigi]

Oh, that's. Yeah, he was. He was married to my mom. They were married together on paper for 48 years, but I think that they just stayed together because they didn't know what else to do. Like, they were pure comedy without meaning to be. When he, like, when mom got upset, she was like, oh, my gosh, did people see me cry? And I'm like, mom, you're at his memorial. It's okay. Oh, Lord, they saw me cry. So, like, yeah, they had their moments.

[Charlie]

So when he would make these derogatory comments about body shaming, would she correct him or just let him go?

[Gigi]

You could never correct him because he was never wrong. They went to family counseling. Right. The marriage family Counselor told him, Mr. Toliver, just shut up.

[Charlie]

Wow.

[Gigi]

Then he told my mom, you need to divorce this man.

[Charlie]

Really?

[Gigi]

And of course, my mom, you're not going to tell me what to do.

[Charlie]

So she st like Fred Sanford and what's her name?

[John Clay Wolf]

Aunt Esther.

[Charlie]

Was it Fred and Esther?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, Esther.

[Gigi]

They're back and forth. Have you heard her lawanda Paige? Have you heard her comedy album? No, you need to listen to it.

[Charlie]

That's an Esther.

[Gigi]

Yeah. Cuz she always played the Christian lady with the raggedy wig and the pocketbook and the. And the Bible and everything. She is. Oh, my gosh, she'll make you blush.

[Charlie]

Jd. What? What? Did you have some statistics of holidays?

[J.D.]

People that. Yeah, people that are, you know, the holidays are getting here, they're close, and there may be people that you don't want. 52% of us have people in our family we'd rather not see in the holidays. And most of those issues are around unresolved family issues. Yes. Gigi. Personality clashes.

[Charlie]

Yes. Gigi.

[J.D.]

Beliefs or values. Yes.

[Gigi]

Bobo.

[J.D.]

Politics, of course. And alcohol.

[Charlie]

Alcohol. What about alcohol?

[J.D.]

Those are the five big ones. Well, because people get drunk and they say stupid stuff, they tell you how they really feel about you. Are you ready for that? No, you're not.

[Charlie]

We haven't invited any extended family to.

[J.D.]

Nobody.

[Charlie]

No. But my mom's side is real calm.

[J.D.]

They're calm.

[Charlie]

Yeah. My dad's side is not as calm, but they're fine. A lot of them are dead. You know, I mean, there's just not that many left that are immediate.

[J.D.]

Gotcha.

[Charlie]

Aunts, uncles, I mean, a lot of them are gone.

[J.D.]

This is a very high anxious time of the year. I'm sure, Gigi, you know that big people are coming and going. I'm so tense because there's money issues, there's family issues.

[Gigi]

So anyway, Podbean, your message amplified, ready.

[Charlie]

To share your message with the world? Start your podcast journey with podbean.

[Gigi]

Podbean, the AI powered all in one podcast platform.

[DJ Prekay]

The thousands of businesses and enterprises trust Podbean to launch their podcasts.

[Gigi]

Use Podbean to record your podcast.

[Charlie]

Use PodBean AI to optimize your podcast.

[Gigi]

Use PodBean AI to turn your blog into a podcast.

[Charlie]

Use Podbean to distribute your podcast everywhere.

[DJ Prekay]

Launch your podcast on Podbean today.

[Charlie]

What about you, Jay? J.D. who?

[J.D.]

Do you believe it or not, I'm.

[Charlie]

A pretty happy go. Lucky guy.

[J.D.]

All of our family gets along so well. We feel like we live in a la la land because everybody gets along. We never have arguments.

[Charlie]

Charlie's frowning.

[DJ Prekay]

Oh, well, when my mom was alive, she was the one that wasn't.

[Charlie]

Really. What would she do?

[DJ Prekay]

Because she would.

[Gigi]

She.

[DJ Prekay]

She had an opinion about everything. And my aunts and uncles didn't want to hear their opinion or if somebody was like, you know, a little kid took a little sip of wine. Why is your kid drinking wine? I mean, she was just always in everybody's business and yeah, it was. It was uncomfortable as a kid.

[Charlie]

Did anyone ever go off on her?

[DJ Prekay]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ Prekay]

But my mom would. She was the one who would start it.

[Charlie]

She.

[DJ Prekay]

She thrived off that. Yeah. So it's. It's been quiet. It's real quiet now.

[J.D.]

So they must thrive off of it, be able to do it in the family atmosphere. You know, people are going to call you out.

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ Prekay]

Oh, she didn't care. She really didn't.

[Gigi]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Bob, you came home one year a couple of years ago that y'all got into some political BS and it got all sideways and you had to pack up and go, wasn't it?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, craziness. Yeah, it's been. It's been a few years ago, but now it's.

[Charlie]

But the following years were fine. I'm trying to give people hope.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm trying to get them to where they don't hit me so hard with that religious thing. It's like they forget that I went through the whole thing with them. Like, I know all about it. I'm just not a devout.

[Gigi]

I know what happened.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm not a devout guy, that's all. I don't have anything against it.

[Charlie]

And like what's an example of the correcting of correcting that they're doing to you?

[John Clay Wolf]

Just that old timey language, you know, like what? My sweet savior, Lord Jesus just. Oh, just pouring it on really, really thick, man. And I don't a problem with that. But like they act like I like, you know, in any way and there's been no problem in a long time.

[Charlie]

So we shouldn't start one with this common, this section of the show right now.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I don't criticize, you know, but yeah, it becomes a pack mentality at a certain point.

[Charlie]

Pack mentality. Oh, they start nipping at you. Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then it's this time to go and.

[Charlie]

They'Re trying to turn you back to the church heavily.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know, it's just, it's never been my thing. I had a grandfather that was the same way. He's just not devout.

[Charlie]

He was not devout.

[John Clay Wolf]

He was not devout. And I don't doubt anything and I don't disbelieve anything. Anybody's gotta believe it's free country, do what you want.

[Charlie]

Gigi, how much is religion in your group?

[Gigi]

Health insurance doesn't have to break the bank. At oregonhealthcare.gov we're here to get you covered. Visit oregonhealthcare.gov to get started.

[Charlie]

The old group is not. I can guess that now. It's not heavy. But back when you were younger it.

[Gigi]

Was, it was, it was Catholics versus the Protestants versus the Muslims. It was, yeah. Who was the, huh?

[Charlie]

Who was the Muslim?

[Gigi]

Well, my mom had the last name El added to hers cause she thought it sounded cool, but that was technically Muslim, so. And then her brother, that nobody listened to when he would call. Right. He would literally be talking and she'd put the phone down and go do other things. Pick it up. Uh huh. And put it back down.

[Charlie]

Andy used to do that to my mom.

[Gigi]

So he said he was Muslim and then he would get into arguments with my dad who was a Mason because he said Masons are secretive and Muslims share knowledge and. Yeah. So it was a good time.

[Charlie]

Do you have any alcoholics or maybe alcoholics a strong word. But poor, poor drinkers that would, you know, if they catch you after 8 o'clock, then they just go on and on and on and you put the phone down, walk off.

[Gigi]

That's that. My mom, my mom said my uncle was like that.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Gigi]

And that's why she would put the phone. But they should have listened because he was able to. To verify the Native American Heritage and his kids went to college for free.

[Charlie]

My mom, I would. After five o'clock Central time. She was on the east coast in Greenwich, Connecticut. Yeah, I got to where I just wasn't answering after 5. Cause it. John Clay. You just hear me doing John Clay. Hello? John Clay. Hang on, let me pull over. We got an hour.

[Gigi]

Look here, I gotta tell you something.

[Charlie]

John Clay.

[Gigi]

That's right.

[Charlie]

Have you been. I love you so much. She's been gone a while. And my mom died young. 58. I didn't realize how young 58 was until now that I'm 50. Yeah, she went pretty young. How old was your dad when he died?

[Gigi]

G. He was 80 and a half. My mom's 83. Wow. But you know, when you're young, you think that's old. So I'm like, God, please, you can take her when she's 83 and then we'll be cool. Right? And then it seemed like she was 82 all of a sudden. Like, where did that time fly? So, yeah, I miss her too.

[Charlie]

Hang on just a second. This guy has an answer to how he does it. Josh in California. What do you do during the holidays? You usually like, shut those people down for like a good three weeks from like the 20th to like the third or something. I don't know. That's like super negative in your life, bro. I mean, you can't be dealing with that stuff on the regular and then all of a sudden deal with it extreme hardcore for three weeks straight because no one can handle the stress of everyday life during the holidays.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's ridiculous.

[Charlie]

It's a man made tradition that everybody's inculcating in their lives. It's like adding more stress to their own world. Josh says, just turned your phone off for two weeks during the. During the holidays.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's right, though, man.

[Charlie]

Man, I remember being up so. So I was up in Connecticut Thanksgiving, and they got so drunk, it got weird. And I remember saying, I'm never, ever, ever doing this again. I'm not coming back.

[J.D.]

Go weird in one way.

[Charlie]

Drunk.

[J.D.]

Oh, just hard drunk.

[Charlie]

And so all these problems that we're talking about, which would really swell up high. Oh, yeah. I was like, I can't do this anymore. Oh, I should have kept doing it because I didn't realize they were going to die. Oh, boy, is the dumpling. All right. I'm glad I got you in the spirit.

[DJ Prekay]

All right, y'all know what to do. Hit us up on John Claywolf dot com. You can check out old episod on there. Stay up to date with what we got going on. Get cool gear. We got hats, shirts. All that hit us up on Facebook. Search John Claywolfshow. We're on Instagram. John's on Twitter. You can holler at all of us. Okay? You know how to spell it? Okay. We appreciate y'all listening. Keep on rocking with us.