The Jordan Harbinger Show — Episode 1214: Boss' Flirtation Highlights Marital Frustration | Feedback Friday

Release Date: September 26, 2025
Host: Jordan Harbinger
Co-host: Gabriel Mizrahi

Overview

In this Feedback Friday episode, Jordan Harbinger and producer Gabriel Mizrahi tackle listener dilemmas about workplace boundaries, school safety failures, career transitions in creative industries, and personal choices around alcohol. The show maintains its signature blend of empathy, practical wisdom, and candid (often humorous) banter throughout, offering actionable advice and psychological insight.

Segment 1: Boss’ Inappropriate Flirtation vs. Marital Stagnation

[05:56–18:45]
Main Theme: Navigating a boss’s workplace flirtation, wrestling with the emotions it stirs, and redirecting attention to revive connection in a stale marriage.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• The Letter:
  A seasoned science professional recounts a long-standing, sibling-like friendship with her boss who recently crossed a line at a company event. After some playful banter, he leaned in and whispered that fighting her would be a “turn on” — in earshot of female colleagues. She quickly shut him down but now feels shaken, embarrassed, and paranoid about workplace gossip. Privately, she's disturbed to realize she enjoyed the attention, as it reminded her of a time when she felt more desirable and impulsive, contrasting sharply with the plateau in her decade-long marriage.

• Immediate Advice:
  Jordan and Gabe praise her for gently but decisively shutting down the banter in the moment, and urge her to have a clear, boundary-setting conversation with her boss:

  "We have an unconventional relationship... But what you said at the company event, that was not cool. It wasn’t appropriate. It made both of us look bad." — Jordan [11:01]

  They note the importance of spelling out the professional risks and making sure it’s understood that it’s never to happen again, with room for honest discussion about the friendship’s boundaries.

• Internal Conflict:
  The listener’s ambivalence about her positive reaction is handled with empathy:

  "You didn’t like being hit on by your boss... but you did like being hit on in general. It’s been a while since you felt desired." — Jordan [13:04]

  The hosts normalize her complicated feelings and praise her for channeling efforts into rekindling intimacy with her husband rather than pursuing validation at work.

• Marriage Reflections:
  Jordan highlights the difference between “tactical” boosts to chemistry (flirting more, etc.) and the need for deeper conversation if disconnection persists:

  "You guys might want to talk about the bigger picture. Why has this happened? How are you both feeling these days? What would it take to be more in sync?" — Jordan [14:03]

• The Fear of Judgment:
  Gabe dives into the letter writer's pervasive fear of judgment, tracing it to a desire for control and avoidance of vulnerability:

  "There's something about other people’s judgments, real or imagined, that feels extremely scary and dangerous." — Gabe [15:52]

  They encourage opening up — perhaps with a therapist — to process these feelings, rather than let them block genuine intimacy or necessary confrontation.

• On Hiding the Incident from Her Husband:
  The hosts gently probe whether her reluctance to even mention the incident demonstrates the vulnerability-avoidance that might be undermining marital connection:

  "If you can’t tell your spouse about this very significant thing... Is that maybe part of the reason they feel like roommates?" — Jordan [18:28]

Notable Quotes

• "I need to ask you to never do that again." — Jordan, draft for boss conversation [12:01]
• "She wants intimacy, but wants to avoid having these real conversations where she shares meaningful parts of her life." — Jordan [18:31]

Segment 2: School Principal Fails Catastrophically on Student Threats

[22:37–37:30]
Main Theme: A parent’s rage after a Catholic school’s catastrophic mishandling of death threats against their 10-year-old daughter — and what recourse exists.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• The Incident:
  The listener’s young daughter receives explicit death threats in a group chat from a classmate (“Piper”), followed by doxxing on TikTok. When approached, Piper’s parents are dismissive (“play in traffic”). The principal is inert — telling the family to “pray and put good vibes in the world” — and even blames the victim for “owning a tablet.”

• School’s Response:
  After legal intervention and court protection orders, the school bars the victim, not the aggressor, from attending the first days of class. Only after pressure do they remove Piper.

• Emotional Tone:
  Jordan’s visceral anger is palpable:

  "I’m angry. We’re not even done with the letter and I’m fuming. I hate stuff like this. This principal is a complete idiot." — Jordan [25:04]

• Accountability & Suggestions:
  The hosts debate how to hold the school accountable. Jordan leans toward public exposure:

  "I would probably write an open letter to the principal, the administration, the board of trustees... and invite parents to sign it." [32:39]

  He also floats involving the local press, noting:

  "If an article or news segment came out...this is going to be very bad for that principal." [36:24]

• Mandated Reporting:
  Both hosts point out the school's apparent legal missteps as "mandated reporters":

  "How did this principal not report this to the authorities immediately? She’s a mandated reporter." — Gabe [35:53]

• Bigger Picture:
  They agree even if the principal is fired (as Jordan strongly advocates), the school still needs help developing better crisis protocols.

Notable Quotes

• "My brother in Christ, thoughts and prayers come after kids are senselessly murdered, not beforehand." — Jordan [34:42]
• "If this had turned into a Sandy Hook or Uvalde situation... the school would be sued into oblivion." — Jordan [35:21]

Segment 3: VFX Artist Faces Industry Collapse and AI Disruption

[39:20–47:48]
Main Theme: Navigating career uncertainty in the creative tech world during layoffs and the rise of AI, especially with new family responsibilities.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• The Struggle:
  A UK-based VFX artist who upskilled into 3D work before layoffs/AI shifts now feels uncertain, stuck between pursuing unstable films/TV gigs and needing to provide for a growing family.

• Jordan’s Process (for Career Change):

  • Distinguish between technical skills and “portable” skills (teamwork, deadline management, creative problem-solving).
  • Look beyond film to adjacent creative tech or in-house agency, education, or software company roles.
  • Leverage networks: Jordan suggests 6 Minute Networking and starting industry peer support groups.
  • Explore a hybrid “portfolio career” to balance stability and creativity.

• On AI:
  Gabe shares that, for now, AI is more a tool than a replacement in many post-prod jobs, but overall industry decline and offshoring are a bigger threat.

• Finding Meaning:
  Focus on work aspects that energize you and seek their equivalents elsewhere, e.g., educational content, indie projects, or tech roles.

• Actionable Resources:
  The team promises links to support groups (“Creative UK,” “Creative Heads”) and encourages participation in VFX subreddits and forums.

Notable Quotes

• "You’re not just a visual effects technician — you’re a storyteller...a creative manager." — Jordan [43:38]
• "The people who are going to succeed...are the ones who learn how to steer AI, to be the bridge between humans and tech." — Gabe [45:07]

Segment 4: Should I Quit Drinking?

[55:30–66:10]
Main Theme: Jordan and Gabe reflect on their relationship with alcohol, why they barely drink, and how abstaining supports clarity, health, and self-work.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Personal Histories:
  Both drank more in their twenties for social acceptance but now avoid it, disliking its effects and valuing productive mornings.

  “I almost never really enjoyed it...especially after a certain point. I always felt like I acted pretty stupid...The hangovers were horrendous.” — Jordan [55:30]

• Alcohol as Coping Tool:
  They dissect how alcohol serves as a band-aid for social anxiety, boredom, or shame, and suggest confronting those issues directly:

  “If I need a drink to deal with this room full of people...either this is not the right room, or I need to work on this part of me.” — Gabe [57:49]

• Cultural/Mythical Framing:
  Gabe highlights that, beyond the social/habitual context, alcohol is “really not good for you,” citing new reports from the U.S. Surgeon General linking it closely to several cancers:

  “Alcohol is the third leading preventable cause of cancer in the US.” — Gabe [63:54] “Certain cancers, especially breast, mouth, and throat, can be triggered with one drink per day or less.” [63:55]

• Non-Moralizing Stance:
  Jordan is pragmatic and non-judgmental:

  “I'm not one of those alcohol-is-of-the-devil people. Obviously, it can ruin your life if you let it take over, but that's true of pretty much every substance.”

  Both encourage the listener to try a break, see what changes, and approach it as a self-experiment.

Notable Quotes

• "Life is a lot easier when you don't drink." — Jordan [65:23]
• "I prefer it in a way...the older I get, the less interesting [drinking] is, and the happier I am to raw dog life." — Jordan [60:38]

Memorable Moments & Banter

• Jordan’s self-parody:

  “I have a rock-hard justice boner right now.” — Jordan [36:24]

• On social awkwardness at dinner:

  “I have two kids at home. I want to be alone.” — Jordan [04:01]

• Workplace wisdom:

  “Every dad, when his son gets arrested for indecent exposure…that’s the cringe.” — Jordan [07:38]

• Gabe reading user-submitted rhyming sign-offs and laughing about “pumped-up kicks.”

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Boss Flirtation/Marriage Letter Discussion: [05:56–18:45]
• School Safety Catastrophe: [22:37–37:30]
• VFX Artist Career Crisis: [39:20–47:48]
• Alcohol Discussion: [55:30–66:10]

Resources & Recommendations

• Episodes mentioned:
  • Mark Follman interview on early-stage school violence intervention [“episode 1140”]
  • Career development: “6 Minute Networking” (sixminutenetworking.com)
• Subreddits, Facebook groups, and support communities for creative professionals in transition
• Surgeon General’s 2024 report on alcohol and cancer risk

Tone and Style

Candid, insightful, sometimes outraged, and always laced with dry wit. Jordan and Gabe never shy away from hard truths or vulnerable self-reflection, offering listeners reassurance, real advice, and a sense of nonjudgmental solidarity. The advice is practical yet psychologically astute, with a repeated emphasis on direct conversation, self-work, and community support.

Takeaways

• Set boundaries and have direct conversations, even (or especially) when it feels intense.
• Don’t let fear of judgment or discomfort block growth or intimacy—in marriage or at work.
• Schools must be accountable on safety; parents often must push hard for justice.
• Careers are more than just roles—your meta-skills are what you bring to new opportunities.
• Alcohol is deeply normalized, but skipping it may mean more energy, health, and self-awareness—and less anxiety.

For more in-depth advice, practical resources, and the signature Jordan Harbinger “carpet bombing of insight,” check the episode notes and recommended past shows at jordanharbinger.com.