1224: Do Kin's Red Flags Mean He's Filling Body Bags? | Feedback Friday

Summary

The Jordan Harbinger Show – Episode 1224: “Do Kin's Red Flags Mean He's Filling Body Bags?” | Feedback Friday (Skeptical Sunday) Release Date: October 17, 2025
Hosts: Jordan Harbinger & Michael Regilio

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Episode Overview

This week’s Skeptical Sunday takes an unflinching, humorous, and surprisingly educational look at the penis—its evolution, biological variety, cultural symbolism, size anxieties, medical facts, and more. Jordan Harbinger and co-host Michael Regilio cut through myth, history, and societal hang-ups to both amuse and inform, giving listeners a crash course in “penology.” The episode is replete with science-backed facts, memorable cultural tidbits, and self-deprecating wit, ultimately aiming to destigmatize conversations about penis size and function while debunking common misconceptions and anxieties.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Penis Evolution & Biology

[04:47]

• The first known penis appeared ~425 million years ago in a shrimp-like creature.
• The evolutionary function: more precise delivery of sperm versus external fertilization methods (“carpet bombing”).
• Not all species evolved penises: only 3% of birds have one; sharks and spiders are completely dickless.
• “A rooster does not have a penis. Oh, a cockless cock. How sad.” – Jordan (06:25)

[06:32–08:14]

• Variety is the rule: duck penises are corkscrew-shaped, echidnas have four-headed penises, and some sea slugs detach theirs after mating and regrow a new one in 24 hours.
  • “Imagine being able to say, ‘Here’s some dick—you know what, you keep it. I’ll just get another one.’” – Jordan (07:25)
• The barnacle outdoes all, with a penis up to eight times its own body length.
  • “That’s like a human having a 50-foot penis.” – Jordan (07:58)

2. Penises Across the Animal Kingdom

[09:59–12:00]

• The “reptilian draft”: early mammals developed erectile tissue and baculum (penis bone). Humans lost the baculum and penile spines/spikes.
• Spiky penises in some species stimulate ovulation or remove rival sperm.
  • “The gene that codes for penile spines…is missing [in humans].” – Michael (11:40)

3. Cultural & Artistic History

[13:23–18:43]

• Penis imagery stretches back at least 42,000 years (Paleolithic pendant).
• Festivals & mythology: Romans used penis amulets to ward off evil; Bhutan features winged penises for fertility/protection; Japan has the Kanamara Matsuri, the “Festival of the Steel Phallus.”
  • “They also believe that [penises] get rid of malicious gossip. So, like, people talking bad things about you… ‘No, look at the giant dick on his wall.’” – Jordan (15:24)
• Symbolism ranged from power and fertility to “humility and self-control” (e.g., Michelangelo’s David intentionally depicted small).

4. Penis Size: Myths, Facts, and Anxieties

[18:43–23:26]

• Average erect penis: ~5.1–5.5 inches, with medical studies dispelling myths about shoe size correlation.
  • “...average size globally is about five and a half inches.” – Michael (21:46)
  • “So go ahead guys, compare your index and ring finger length. Get it out of your system.” – Jordan (22:40)
• No correlation between shoe size and penis size; a (weak) correlation exists between 2D:4D finger ratios and length.

5. Does Size Matter? Evolution and Psychology

[27:14–33:44]

• Human evolution (vs. chimps, gorillas) favored comparatively larger penises, likely due to female sexual selection.
• Size, though a source of acute male anxiety, is less an issue for most partners:
  • 85% of women are satisfied with their partner’s size; only 55% of men are satisfied with their own.
  • “...men often internalize insecurity…which can cause anxiety and stress.” – Michael (31:43)
  • Appearance (aesthetics) of the penis ranked more important than length/girth in multiple studies.

6. Sex, Satisfaction & Societal Messages

[32:04–33:58]

• Sexual satisfaction is far more about emotional connection and technique than penis size.
• Performance anxiety, pornographic exaggerations, and self-comparison loops all contribute to dysfunction and low confidence.

7. Care and Maintenance

[33:44–34:30]

• Healthy penis = healthy lifestyle: manage stress, maintain hydration, do pelvic floor exercises (Kegels).
  • “Kegels have been kind to me. I’ve been doing them for years. There’s an app for that.” – Jordan (34:12)

8. Freud, Gender, and Intersex Conditions

[34:30–36:38]

• Freud’s “penis envy” theory debunked by modern psychology.
• Intersex and rare developmental conditions like guevedoces (children developing penises at puberty) and “micropenis” (medical definition and causes).
  • “Micropenis is diagnosed…as being 2.5 deviations smaller than the mean penis.” – Michael (55:59)

9. Society’s Penis Size Obsession: Porn, Enhancement, and Super-sizing

[37:12–42:37]

• “Stunt cock” and penis pumps: common in the porn industry, yet contribute to impossible expectations.
• Real harm: Many men doubt themselves, some avoid relationships.
  • “...so hung up on this, they’re not even talking to women because they feel like, ‘What’s the point?’” – Jordan (39:53)
• Paradox: penis sizes increasing (24% according to one study), yet Google searches for enhancement up 70% (41:39).

10. The Curse of the Ginormous Penis

[43:08–53:36]

• Anything over 8 inches is “problematic,” often making sex difficult or painful, interfering with intimacy, and even leading to social isolation.
  • “Most partners can’t give it because they can’t open their mouth that wide...and if they can, it’s all teeth.” – Michael (52:11)
• Larger size can hinder sexual frequency, lead to bleeding/pain, and even prevent oral sex.
  • “Some of them are having no sex because of this.” – Jordan (50:35)

11. Micropenis and Medical Realities

[55:13–58:31]

• Micropenis primarily results from hormonal disruption in utero, sometimes treatable via hormone therapy in infancy.
• Cultural/societal pressure sometimes prompts drastic medical or identity decisions.

12. Circumcision: History, Tradition, and Debate

[59:13–65:54]

• Circumcision predates Judaism, possibly originating as a rite of passage or for hygiene/social status.
• In the US, became widespread after WWII, promoted for hygiene (and, mistakenly, as a masturbation deterrent).
  • Michael shares his personal experience being circumcised at 15, highlighting societal pressures.
• Increasing debate on consent and ethics, especially in Europe.
  • “Kids growing up in this America now will see a vastly changed gym shower as many parents are choosing against it.” – Michael (64:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Nature has so many different takes on the wang from the sound of it.” – Jordan (09:59)
• “The barnacle who has the largest penis compared to body size on earth.” – Michael (07:38)
• “...How is somebody going to love your penis if you don’t even love your penis?” – Jordan (32:00)
• “Try and love and care for [your penis], no matter how big or small or curved or veiny or snipped it is.” – Michael (66:12)
• “No matter what you got going on down there, just be happy that it’s no longer covered in spikes.” – Jordan (66:43)
• “If you got a spiky barbed penis, and I’m pretty sure you don’t, love that too—just, I don’t know, wear gloves or something.” – Jordan (66:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |:---------:|:----------------------------------------------------------| | 04:47 | Evolutionary origins of the penis | | 06:05 | Animal species without penises and rooster joke | | 06:36 | Duck penises, sea slug “disposable” penis, barnacle penis | | 09:59 | The diversity of penises and evolutionary history | | 10:55 | Penile spines and mushroom-shaped tips, evolutionary theories | | 13:23 | Human penis anatomy and function | | 13:47 | Artistic/cultural depictions, Paleolithic penis pendant | | 15:07 | Bhutan’s winged penis culture | | 15:57 | Global penis festivals (Japan’s Kanamara Matsuri) | | 16:33 | Mythological symbolism (Osiris, ancient religions) | | 18:43 | Penis size through history, Michelangelo’s David | | 19:25 | Science of “average” penis size | | 21:56 | Debunking “shoe size” myth, 2D:4D finger ratio | | 27:14 | Evolutionary reasons for human penis size | | 29:22 | Length vs girth: what matters more according to science | | 30:39 | Women’s satisfaction with partner’s size; men’s insecurities | | 33:44 | Caring for your penis: sleep, exercise, Kegels | | 34:30 | Freud and penis/womb envy; intersex and rare conditions | | 37:12 | Porn, “stunt cock,” penis pumps, and their impact | | 41:16 | Penis sizes are up but so are enhancement anxieties | | 43:08 | Problems with “problematically large” penises | | 50:35 | Low sexual frequency and relationship challenges for the well-endowed | | 55:13 | Micropenis: definition, causes, and emotional impact | | 59:13 | Circumcision: global and historical perspective | | 64:52 | Michael’s personal take on circumcision & societal pressures | | 66:05 | Final takeaways: penises are complicated; love your own |

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Conclusion & Takeaways

This episode masterfully balances scientific inquiry, historical context, and comedic levity to offer a rich, destigmatizing exploration of penises. Listeners are urged to reject societal pressure, question porn-fueled standards, appreciate the vast natural diversity, and above all, not let anxiety override well-being or relationships. As Jordan closes: “Stop stressing…if you stress about it too much…you’re sabotaging your self-confidence and attractiveness. The best advice really is to just love your wiener.” (66:21)

Stay tuned for the forthcoming "Penile Enhancement" deep-dive and more Skeptical Sunday explorations.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

Welcome to Skeptical Sunday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. Today I'm here with Skeptical Sunday co host Michael Rugilio on the Jordan Harbinger Show. We decode the stories, secrets and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. Our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker. And during the week we have long form conversations with a variety of amazing folks. Spies, CEOs, athletes, authors, thinkers, performers. On Sundays though, we do Skeptical Sunday where a rotating guest co host and I break down a topic you may have never thought about and debunk common misconceptions about it. Topics such as why the Olympics are kind of a sham why Tipping Makes no Sense, Circumcision, Reiki, Healing, ear candling, Self help, cults, energy drinks, and more. And if you're new to the show or you're looking for a handy way to tell your friends about it, I suggest our episode starter packs. These are collections of our favorite episodes on Persuasion and Negotiation, Psychology, Disinformation, Crime and Cults, and more that'll help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on the show. Just visit jordanharbinger.com start or search for us in your Spotify app to get started today. There's an old saying, you can't say happiness without saying penis. Which is true. And it's a good thing because that's all we're really talking about today. Not happiness, the other thing.

[B]

Hmm. Happiness. Hap. Penis. Oh, yeah, okay, I get it. Fine. Gives the old Beatles song happiness is a warm gun a whole new angle.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Never thought of that one before.

[A]

Now, I wouldn't say the penis is unappreciated.

[B]

No. In fact, one might say a decent part of the Internet is dedicated to them.

[A]

True. Yes, quite. In fact, something of a double digit percentage of web traffic is dedicated to it. But what is a penis, really? And I don't mean like philosophically. Well, like, where does it come from? Have they always been around? If not, what was the first animal to have one? Do all animals have them now? I mean, I'm guessing not, but how are they different? How are they the same? Today, let's. I want to take a deep dive into.

[B]

Choose any term you like. There's literally thousands of words for today's topic.

[A]

Yeah, today we're talking about penises with one of our resident dick experts. I don't know if you want to be.

[B]

I, I prefer skeptic.

[A]

Let's go with dick skeptic. Because when you're really into something, you might be like a Lego head. So maybe you're like a dickhead anyway.

[B]

Yeah. Nope, nope.

[A]

No, that doesn't work for you. All right, so anyway, you're right, Michael. They go by many, many names. Some people even have their own personalized name for it and yours truly included. You care to share yours?

[B]

Uh, yeah, no, I've never come up with a unique name for my own member, to be quite frank.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's not too late.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, Jordan, I'll. I'll put a pin in it.

[A]

Maybe not on the air. That. Actually, that can wait for our skeptical Sunday about penile enhancements, which is coming soon. Or one about Kinks. Which may be coming soon. Maybe. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, okay, fine. I'll leave it alone for now.

[A]

Yes, steer clear of it for the duration of this particular podcast at least.

[B]

You got it.

[A]

Well, it's fair to say that your two hosts today are in possession of at least one penis.

[B]

I hope we're in possession of two.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, we're each in possession of a penis, or wiener or whatever you might call it. But anyway, this episode, like My penis, is rated E for everyone. Not. Well, maybe not really.

[B]

So you're saying this episode is not Members Only?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Correct. And this appendage is not unique to the human species, is it? Let's jump into the science before we get too crass here. Possibly too late.

[B]

Yeah, okay, fine. There's all kinds out there, but the OG the original penis, AKA the first known penis, is said to have shown up around 425 million years ago in a creature that more or less resembled a shrimp.

[A]

So, okay, how big we talking, shrimp dick?

[B]

Well, the creature itself was about half a centimeter. So not so big. But it was certainly the start of something very big.

[A]

Well, I'll say. So what caused this development? What reason was there to start having a penis other than other than entertainment?

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so the penis provides a more targeted transmission of gametes, basically sperm. So instead of just carpet bombing or crop dusting eggs, it offered a more precise method. Also, if the female of your specie has their eggs protected inside their body to keep it all safe, you'll probably need something to get up in there and fertilize it.

[A]

Yeah, something that's able to penetrate, maybe.

[B]

Right, exactly. Actually, penetration is the key in this scenario. Now, just because our little shrimp friend was a fan of the penis, that doesn't mean that every species evolving out there thought, hey, I want one of those weird looking things too, right?

[A]

Not every species has penis envy. And not all species out there have penises, Right?

[B]

Not even close. For example, only 3% of birds have penises. Sharks don't have penises at all.

[A]

Doesn't that make them seem a little bit less tough and scary now that you know that they don't have penises?

[B]

Yeah, no, not at all. I assure you, that's just an illusion. Many dangerous animals share that particular omission. In fact, spiders are dickless. Lots of animals out there find no need for a penis. Funny enough, a rooster does not have a penis.

[A]

Oh, a cockless cock. How sad.

[B]

Yeah, a cock has no doodle doo.

[A]

And every penis is different. I mean, have you seen a duck's dong? It's quite a spectacle.

[B]

Not in person, but let's just say that in researching this episode, let's just say that if someone was to come across my browser history, I'd have some explaining to do. And as to the duck dick. Yeah, it's a wild one. It's like a long corkscrew. There's definitely a lot of variety out there in the animal world. There's the four headed penis of the echidna, the single use penis of a certain sea slug.

[A]

Whoa, hang on. You can't breathe past the single use penis thing. That is crazy. I want to know more about disposable dicks.

[B]

Okay, fine. The sea slug, known as the Goniobranchus reticulatus is known for its disposable penis.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

After mating, this little guy detaches and discards his used penis, which he then generates a new one within 24 hours.

[A]

By the way, I think we've all maybe been in a place where we're like, I just want to be able to leave this here and leave and go home quietly. But imagine being able to say, here's some dick. You know what, you keep it. I'll just get another one. I think that's kind of amazing somehow.

[B]

Yeah, well, there's a lot of amazingness going on in the natural world of penises. There's the barnacle who has the largest penis compared to body size on earth. Wow.

[A]

I didn't even know that barnacles had penises, much less that barnacles were incredibly well hung.

[B]

Well, that they are. Jordan. Barnacle penises can be up to eight times their body length. Wow.

[A]

So that's like a human having a, I don't know, 50 foot penis or 60 foot penis.

[B]

Wow. Yeah. I'm not even going to try and think of that.

[A]

Yeah, an erection would kill you due to blood loss or blood pressure changes anyway. And it possibly would kill anybody unlucky enough to be struck by it as well.

[B]

Yes. Okay, so there's a lot of penises out there. There's also. There are a bunch of animals that start to develop penises in the embryonic stage, only to abandon it altogether.

[A]

So is that kind of how human embryos, they make a tail sometime and then it disappears and gets absorbed by the body? I've heard about that.

[B]

Exactly. There's even a cave insect where it's the fe. Females who have what could be considered a penis. It's like pretty much like a vacuum hose that Sucks up sperm from a pouch inside the male.

[A]

Again, can't just breeze by that one. That is. That's something. A vacuum dick.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's called the Neotragla and it's a cave insect in Brazil. And they have the opposite gear as us humans. The females have penises and the males have vaginas. This sex role reversal allows females to actively control mating by inserting their penis like organ, called a gynosome, into the male, holding it for long periods while vacuuming up his sperm capsules, which, by the way, the female also uses as a food source.

[A]

Wow. Sperm is a food source. I think. Well, on second thought, maybe I'll just leave that one right there.

[B]

Yeah. It's a super strange relationship they have also. The mating can last for up to 40 to 70 hours as the female uses her gynosome to hold the male tightly, preventing him from escaping 70 hours of sex.

[A]

That beats my. Well, it beats my record by about 70 hours.

[B]

Yeah, beats my record by about 69 hours and 55 minutes, roughly.

[A]

Oh, giggety, giggety, giggety. Go. All right. I could have used that soundbite anywhere and it could be used everywhere in this episode, but I'm just going to drop it there and then never use it again. But I think I'd be. People would be disappointed in me if I didn't. Anyway, let's not make this episode any weirder than it already has to be. Back to the female spider with the vacuum penis. Nature has so many different takes on the wang from the sound of it.

[B]

Yeah. And the penis itself has evolved just as species do. The more relatable, recognizable penis that we have today, which is erectile tissue and a single protruding structure, shows up first in early reptiles and mammals.

[A]

Ah, the first boners.

[B]

That's right. And with the exception of humans, most mammals actually have a penis bone. Dogs, chimps, mice all have a straight up bone involved called the baculum. But humans decided to ditch it as we evolved.

[A]

So we also, I assume we ditched these spikes and spines. Right. Didn't human ancestors have spikes on their spike?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they did. Some early ancestors of human beings likely had spiny or barbed penile structures. Many primates and other mammals like cats and rodents, have penile spines. And these spines are thought to have evolved to increase reproductive success by stimulating ovulation in some species. And this is gross. Removing sperm from previous mates.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's pretty visceral. That's one thing I remember from bio class. And it's kind of gross. And I. I remember early humans that maybe that's why we have the sort of mushroom tip too. Like make sure we get the other guy's stuff out of there so we can put mine in. It's just really revolting to think about.

[B]

Yeah, well, we are talking penises here, so there's going to be a certain gross factor to this episode. By the way, one other reason for spiky penises is to speed up sex, which makes the couple having sex less vulnerable to predators.

[A]

No wonder I don't have those. I don't need that. A long, slow lovemaking process being a good way, I guess, to get eate by a predator. So, yeah, no wonder my ancestors and I have made it this far.

[B]

Yeah, in fact, that's my new excuse. Hey, I was quick on purpose. I was just trying to save you from getting eaten by lions, baby.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Anyway, in humans, the gene that codes for penile spines, called the androgen receptor enhancer is missing. Scientists believe that we lost our wiener spikes, sometimes after our split from the last common ancestor we have with chimpanzees who do have small penile spines.

[A]

So our closest ancestors, the chimps, have spiked penises.

[B]

Yep, we just missed the cutoff.

[A]

Well, I didn't. Mine was snipped at about eight days, from what I've been told.

[B]

No, we're not talking about circumcision just yet, but we'll get there. So basically, humans chose to enjoy long lovemaking sessions at the risk of being eaten by lions or tigers or bears.

[A]

Ah. Oh my. The threat of being eaten by a bear during sex might actually be a turn on to some people, if Reddit is to be believed. And I went down a lot of girthy rabbit holes when researching my part of this episode. I'm guessing humans being the top predator probably also made it easier for the evolutionary branch to spineless dicks and enjoyable sex.

[B]

Right? And either way, aren't we lucky.

[A]

I will say I'm pretty happy that we ditched the spines and spikes, but I think a lot of our listeners probably are even happier about that. Especially if they're on the receiving end of a penis.

[B]

Yeah, I'm happy about it too, Jordan. As is the skin on my right hand. If I were to be so dude.

[A]

Dud looking at the calluses on my left hand.

[B]

Anyway, okay, yeah, anyway. So we humans evolved to have a penis with three main parts. The root, the shaft, and the glands. Inside the shaft are three columns of erectile tissue. One of which surrounds the urethra, which carries urine out of the body. Also semen. Not at the same time, thankfully.

[A]

Right. That's one pipe, two purposes. I like it.

[B]

Right. And those spongy tissues fill with blood about 1 cup every 2 minutes to create an erection.

[A]

So it's kind of like hydraulics, I guess. Yep. Now, once human males had these penises, the final draft, I guess we started becoming pretty obsessed with them, I would imagine. I know it's not just teenage boys in the current generations that are obsessed with these things. That has to go way back.

[B]

All around the world, people started drawing and sculpting dicks.

[A]

Now, Romans and Greeks were especially famous for this. But it's got to go back even further than that. There's going to be some cave painting of a dick, right?

[B]

Oh, absolutely. It does go way back. In fact, the oldest depiction of a penis is from the Paleolithic period. And it's about 42,000 thousand years old. It's a pendant carved from graphite.

[A]

A Paleolithic period penis pendant.

[B]

Nice little alliteration there. Yeah, that's right. And as human civilization progressed, we had all kinds of depictions, festivals, arts, you name it.

[A]

The Dick festival. Welcome, everyone.

[B]

We're going to get into. Actually, there's two that I'm going to talk about in one second. Okay. But the Egyptian God Min was rocking a hard on in all depictions.

[A]

My kind of guy.

[B]

The Romans had a winged penis amulet called the fastenus that they hung over doorways to ward off evil spirits. I guess if an evil spirit's coming into your house and he's like, these weirdos have a amulet with a boner. You know what? Don't want to haunt them. Too weird.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

In ancient Greece, the Falliforia celebrated fertility in a phallic procession. Basically a penis parade. There you go.

[A]

Penis parade. And you thought that the Boston St. Patrick's Day was a bunch of pricks. This one really go. Yeah, I went to Bhutan and they have dicks everywhere. I wish I'd done a little. Now that you mentioned. I wish I'd done a little more research on it. They have winged dicks absolutely everywhere. Every building has it. They're on walls, they're on temples, they're in commercial areas. So it almost sounds like kind of the same thing with the Romans.

[B]

Interesting. So these were ancient dicks or Bhutan.

[A]

When I looked into this. Because of course, when you're there, you're like, what's up with the dicks? It's also fertility and it's also protection against evil spirits. And there's just. They're colorful dicks everywhere. Houses, buildings. Like I said. They also believe that they'll get rid of malicious gossip. So, like people talking bad things about you and it's like, no, look at the giant dick on his wall. And oh, okay, maybe we should shut our mouth. It's very prevalent in Bhutanese culture and it's also kind of funny. And they're kind of in on the joke. It's not like, oh, don't talk about our dicks. We're reverent about them. You point it out and they all kind of chuckle and giggle because it's just admittedly silly how many there are and how they're all over. And you go to a souvenir shop and there'll be like a whole shelf full of winged dicks. It's just.

[B]

Yeah, wow. Winged dicks.

[A]

Winged dicks, yeah. Tell me more about dick festivals though.

[B]

Yeah, okay, fine. There's the Kanamara Matsuri in Japan, the festival of the steel phallus. Its giant penis floats. But it's also penis shaped candies for the kids. It's a joyful event. I came across by research an Italian mural from the 13th century depicting a tree that has penises as fruit.

[A]

Nice. It seems like the penis got a lot of love back in the day.

[B]

The penis was often tied to myth, power and the idea of masculinity and fertility.

[A]

So there's a connection to spiritualism as well, like I mentioned about Bhutan. But there's ancient fertility cults in Egypt, Mesopotamia. It's kind of a thing back then too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And the penis can also be found in the ancient mythology of those eras. For example, in ancient Egyptian mythology, and you might remember this one, Osiris was chopped into pieces, only to be reassembled by his wife Isis. And. Except for one part. Yeah, you guessed it, his penis.

[A]

And the penis was eaten by fish, if memory serves. I've forgotten everything I learned about Greek mythology from high school. Except that Osiris's penis was eaten by fish.

[B]

Yeah. And that it was. Which is often actually interpreted as making the Nile river into holy water on account of Osiris's penis being down there somewhere.

[A]

Or at least the little nibbled parts of it. I suppose so. Yeah, naturally. Naturally. Adding a God's penis to water makes it holy. Although, is it only me who gets nervous about the holy water the priest splashes on everyone at a Catholic church? How do they make that again?

[B]

Yeah, I got news for you. Jordan, not touching that penis joke with a ten foot pole.

[A]

Nah, damn it.

[B]

That was actually another penis joke. I'm not even trying anymore.

[A]

We don't have to try. That's the thing about penis jokes, man. They just. They just pop right up.

[B]

There you go. There it is. Anyway, so Isis made a new penis for Osiris. In some variations of the story, it was made from her thumb. Others say it was made from gold.

[A]

Ooh, a golden spike. And I don't mean the one from Promontory Point. Is that too obscure of a reference? Whatever.

[B]

Oh, no, not for me, Matt. That's a transcontinental railroad joke. I'm a history nerd. I give that an official rating of nice. But bottom line, the penis was a star in antiquity. Certainly nothing that was censored or hidden. It wasn't always a big penis evoking power and masculinity. Sometimes it was depicted as small to associate with virtues like humility and self control. This idea continued into the Renaissance. For example, you may have noticed that Michelangelo's David doesn't have a particularly large member.

[A]

So I have noticed that, to be fair. And I was going to ask about that because you, you would think, like, I'm going to make a sculpture of somebody or myself or the most beautiful person, and it's like, why is he just tiny?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't get it.

[B]

Well, it is thought to be done on purpose as a statement of humility, restraint, piety.

[A]

Okay, now we're getting into size. And it was only a matter of time, I suppose, wasn't it?

[B]

Yeah, well, you knew we were going there.

[A]

Yeah. Let's go there, Michael. Let's do it.

[B]

Okay, well, let's start by acknowledging that penis size has become an obsession, certainly in the modern era. And it has created a massive amount of anxiety amongst men.

[A]

I don't think anybody would argue that.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, how could you? And this is ramped up in the past couple of decades for sure. But before we get emotional about penis size, let's start with the science, the cold, hard science. For one, the average length of a penis is around 5.16 inches long. That's based on a 2014 review of measurements taken by healthcare professionals who measured over 15,000 men over the age of 17.

[A]

Okay, so I looked into this. They measure erect penises, but not all erections are created equal. And everybody knows some guys are growers and some guys are showers. So they use a drug called Trimix or Trimix to induce a medical erection and then measure and apparently you do not want a medically induced erection because they hurt. But, hey, science, am I right? Oh, and there's a. There's a whole thing in certain communities where people. Well, men are ordering this drug off the Internet. Do not do that. Because the reason I heard about this was talking to an ER doc friend of mine, and she routinely sees these guys come in on Saturday or Sunday and they've taken this drug and it's very hard to dose. Very hard. And they come in and they go, no pun intended. They come in and they're like, I've had a painful, super painful erection for 20 hours, 16 hours. And they have to have it drained. And I'll give you one guess how they do that. So don't mess with this. I have to say that because I was like, I gotta get this drug. And then I asked about it and it was like the worst idea ever. Stick with Cialis and Viagra, people. That's the moral here.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the idea of having to drain. Have a doctor drain an erection is.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And it was how much blood? One cup every two minutes. So that's. Yeah, that's a gnarly procedure. And it probably hurts a lot.

[B]

Yeah. And just on a side note, I have heard that permanent erection. I can't remember the name of it now, but some guys that ride motorcycles.

[A]

Develop their bikes, cyclists and stuff get it. Yeah. From all the hammering on the taint, to use the technical term, clinical term.

[B]

You don't want it. Okay.

[A]

You don't.

[B]

Back to the scientists that measured over 15,000 erect penises. Their findings indicate that the average penis is around 5.1 inches long. Full disclosure, just because we're trying to be honest here, I did find one other study that put it closer to 5.5 inches long. And I hesitate to say that just in case there's someone out there listening with a 5.1 inch long penis that was just feeling good about the fact that they're actually average, even 5.5.

[A]

And look, when I look this up, there's different country data and there's different data from different eras and stuff. The average is really a range. And so, like, the accepted stuff for medical purposes is like 5.1 to 5.9 as average, which is quite a wide range, but that's kind of how it should be. Again, though, at 5.5, that seems or sounds smaller than I thought the average would be. Right.

[B]

That's because we've been fed a lot of jargon. About 8 inches this or 7 inches that. The data Is the data. And average size globally is about five and a half inches.

[A]

And is there a correlation between like shoe size and penis size? I heard that before.

[B]

Yeah, we've all heard that before. But no, that is a wives tale. And there is absolutely no scientific evidence that suggests the size of your shoes is in any way related to the size of your penis.

[A]

Didn't think so. What about there's something with the index finger ring ratio? Do you know about this?

[B]

Yes, I do know about this. And actually there is some data showing a correlation between that ratio and penis size. And to explain this is called the 2D 4D ratio and it's the ratio of the length of your index finger to that of your ring finger.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. So results indicate that men whose index finger is shorter than their ring finger tend to have longer penises.

[A]

Okay, I feel like we need to pause because every single guy listening to this, including me, is suddenly obsessed with his index finger and ring finger and no longer actually listening to what we're saying. So go ahead guys, compare your index and ring finger length. Just do it now, get it out of your system. And then obsess over this for the next decade.

[B]

Yeah, no kidding. Well, look, and also as you're doing that, try and keep in mind that this is not an exact science. But for all you gentlemen still out there in the dating scene, when you do meet a potential lover and you catch them staring at sweet index finger to ring finger ratio, the appropriate response is hey, hey, hey. My eyes are up here.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And this is, by the way, a loose correlation and it doesn't work in the reverse. So if your fingers are the same length, that is not an indication of a small penis.

[A]

I see. So this must have to do with something like testosterone in utero or during puberty or something like that. Okay. You know, it's not hard supporting the amazing sponsors who make this show possible. We'll be right back. This episode is sponsored in part by Rugie. Yet. So here's a first. In over 2,000 episodes that I've done of this show in my old one. Never once have I shilled dick pills. But I wanted a dick related sponsor, so we're going there. This time we're talking about penises. Now's the time, I suppose, right? You've heard of Viagra or Cialis? Maybe you've tried them. But if you're looking for something beyond the usual, check out Rugie et Ready. It's a next gen prescription treatment designed to boost blood flow and amplify arousal in the brain. If the old standbys haven't quite delivered, this could be the answer. Rugiat Ready has a three in one formula that dissolves under your tongue so it absorbs fast, about 15 minutes. On average, the effects can last up to 36 hours. Over 150,000 men have already made the switch. You can read their reviews right on Rugiat's site. Getting started is easy. Connect online with a board certified doctor, you know, like a real one and if prescribed your treatment ships discreetly to your door. Go to ruguiet.com and use code Jordan to get 15% off and see if Rugiet Ready is right for you. That's R U G I E T promo Code Jordan. Support the show and support your erections as well. I just. Oh gosh. Individual results may vary with prescription treatment. Compounded drugs are permitted to be prescribed under federal law but are not FDA approved and do not undergo FDA safety, effectiveness or manufacturing review. Please visit the Rugiat website for full safety information and let me know how your boners go folks. Well, maybe don't this episode is also sponsored by Article. About a year ago we invested in a loveseat from Article and the whole experience was great. I'll admit I was a little skeptical about buying furniture online without you know I want to sit on that thing but Article makes it low risk. With their 30 day satisfaction guarantee from the start, I could tell the quality was solid. It's well built, the leather feels durable yet soft and over time it's held up pretty nicely. No sagging, saggy chairs, no fading. Just really well made furniture that lasts. And the price was way better than I expected for this level of craftsmanship. We loved our piece. There was also peace of mind knowing we could exchange or return any product in your order up to 30 days after delivery. Shipping on your first exchange is completely free, so you can shop with confidence as well. You know, mailing back a couch like, you know, probably not cheap, but it's not your problem. Articles Designs are thoughtfully curated mid century Scandinavian coastal. I don't know what that means, but this stuff looks good. They all mix and match seamlessly. So even if you're not an interior designer, which clearly I am not, your space ends up looking like it was styled by one. If you want to create a home that feels stylish and grown up without the stress, Article's the Move article is.

[C]

Offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit Article.com Jordan and the discount will be Automatically applied at checkout. That's article.comjordan for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

[A]

If you're wondering how I managed to book all these great authors, thinkers, creators every week, it is because of my network, the circle of people I know, like and trust me. I'm teaching you how to build the same thing for yourself in a free course over at sixminutenetworking. Com. Look, I know courses are always like upsell y and stuff. We don't do that. I don't need your credit card information. The course is bingeable. You can really do it all at once in one day, one afternoon, in fact, less than an hour. It's super easy. It's non cringy, very down to earth, not awkward. The strategies are not cheesy. It is just practical exercises that'll make you a better connector, a better colleague, a better friend, and a better peer. And six minutes a day is all it takes. And many of the guests that you hear on the show subscribe and contribute to the course. So come on and join us. You'll be in smart company where you belong. You can find the course again for free at sixminutenetworking.com no shenanigans. All right, now back to dicks. So now that we've been talking about penis size, I feel like it's time we get to the elephant in the room or at least do a slight diversion here. Does size matter for, you know, sexual stuff?

[B]

Okay. And just because I've become such an expert on this, I feel. Because you said elephants. Elephants don't have baculum. No penis bones for elephants.

[A]

No penis bones.

[B]

Okay, Eau de natural.

[A]

Let's start with the flaccid elephant in the room.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, okay, so all right. Now we're getting into it. So let's start with evolution and how that can answer some of these questions.

[A]

I see where you're going with this. Humans, after all, have larger, less spiky penises than the apes from which we evolved. I saw some data on this.

[B]

Right. True, the average gorilla penis when erect is about one and a quarter inches long. And the average chimp dick is about eight centimeters compared to a human average of about 13 centimeters. And yes, I switched to centimeters for a moment so our non American listeners can measure up. Our balls, by the way, did not get bigger, they just the penis.

[A]

Imagine what normal balls on a one and a quarter inch dick looks like. Some of us don't have to imagine, sadly, but most of us have to imagine that and that's why gorillas can tear you apart limb from limb if you make fun of their tiny little dick. Okay, so as we evolved, our junk got bigger.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Now, the science does seem to point towards sexual selection rather than natural selection as the cause for this. Meaning that females chose mates with larger penises largely due to increased sexual satisfaction.

[A]

And since we're talking about millions of years of evolution before the invention of clothing, I'm guessing that was just kind of an easy thing for females to assess.

[B]

I mean, I didn't come across that in my research, but yes, that seems accurate.

[A]

So a bigger dick will be more likely to provide an orgasm to a mate than a smaller one. Is that true?

[B]

Okay, yes, but specifically just the vaginal orgasm.

[A]

So rather than a clitoral orgasm, which I guess doesn't require a penis at all. I mean, see also oral sex and lesbians, et cetera.

[B]

Yeah, right. And one study indicates that women are more likely to have a vaginal orgasm with a larger than average penis. This is consistent with what I was just talking about with a female mate choice system that favors a large penis. However, studies have shown that length isn't always the most important measurement when it comes to penises.

[A]

That's right. You're talking about girth, I assume.

[B]

Sure. And we're talking about a bunch of stuff, but yes. In fact, a 2002 study asked women about the importance of length versus girth. And while 21% responded that length was important, 33% reported girth as important. This trend has also been observed in other studies I came across.

[A]

Still, though, that's less than half saying that either one of those things is important.

[B]

True. An excellent point. Also, it should be noted that studies have shown that the aesthetic appearance of the penis is arguably more important. In one study, roughly 45% of respondents judged appearance to be somewhat important, and 27% answered it was very important. That's 72% of people saying either somewhat or very important.

[A]

So how it looks might be even more important than how it hangs.

[B]

That appears to be so. But the size of the penis does matter. Now, don't get too stressed out just yet about this, because chances are your partner is happy with your penis size. A survey of over 50,000 heterosexual men and women found that 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size. But the same study also found that only 55% of men were satisfied with their own penis size.

[A]

Well, that checks out and is also kind of sad because guys are so down on themselves about this. And it makes it. Yeah, it makes so much sense. But I wonder why this is okay.

[B]

Well, it's because we are constantly fed ideas that we aren't big enough. Yeah. I mean, obviously the biggest place that this narrative is coming from is porn movies. And porn movies often use camera tricks or women with small hands to make male penises look bigger than they actually are. Or there are penile prosthetics that sometimes are used in these films.

[A]

Yeah, I've heard of this. I'm actually, when I was researching this, I got connected with a lot of male performers and they're doing all kinds of stuff. Camera tricks, the women with small hands. But also, like, weird enhancement stuff, pumps, all this stuff we're going to cover in the penile enhancement episode. But yeah, prosthetics, where they just straight up put a thing over it and then they make sure that you don't zoom in too close to see it. And this all contributes to negative self image, negative self worth. Both of which obviously can affect things down south. One, confidence. But not only confidence outside the bedroom, but inside the bedroom as well.

[B]

Absolutely. In fact, men often internalize insecurity because they think they don't measure up, literally. And this can cause anxiety and stress.

[A]

Which are contributors to sexual dysfunction.

[B]

Of course. Yeah. Anxiety is a huge player in things like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and other performance issues.

[A]

How is somebody going to love your penis if you don't even love your penis? I guess that's the question.

[B]

Oh, you know what? That could be the title of your next book, Jordan.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And look, men who feel like their penis isn't big enough often don't have as much confidence.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which in turn makes them less attractive.

[A]

That's just like a shitty feedback loop.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And this is where education comes in. We need to let people know stuff like penises bend. It's normal. They vary in color and texture and temperature.

[A]

Okay, I knew about color. I suppose texture makes sense. But. But dick temperature, that's a thing?

[B]

Yeah, that can vary, too. It's not always the hot beef injection. Sometimes it's just the room temperature beef injection. And as far as orgasms go, it's not just the penis at play. It involves the nervous system, the endocrine system, the cardiovascular system, and a lot of mental stuff, too. Research indicates that other factors like emotional intimacy and sexual technique are more important to sexual satisfaction than size.

[A]

Yeah. And as somebody who's like, I guess I should just out myself, who's been around the block probably more than they should have been as a respectable guy. That totally rings true. This is my experience exactly right. It's just when you know what you're doing and you are close to the person, it's just a million times better. And rarely do you hear much of anything else. And I mean, part of this is going to be, you know, my experience. I've only had sort of one set of gear in my whole life. But it just sounds like we need to really calm down about the whole penis size thing. It's just never been an issue for most guys other than an issue in their own head.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's true. We. We have to calm down about it, but we also need to take care of your penis, because taking care of your penis is also taking care of your health.

[A]

Reducing stress, getting good sleep, drinking lots of water. Get that collagen, get that vital proteins collagen in your system. Use our code when you buy.

[B]

Maybe I will, Jordan. Maybe I will. But you're right. These are all things that are good for the penis and also good for us in general.

[A]

Pelvic floor exercises. Kegels. Kegels, right.

[B]

Yeah, Kegels. Yeah, that too. Studies have shown that pelvic floor exercises, AKA Kegels, enhance erectile function. These exercises can help address erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

[A]

I will say Kegels have been kind to me. I've been doing them for years. There's an app for that. There's many apps for that. We can link to a few in the show notes. They're free. And for the thing that causes men to have a one track mind, I will say the penis sure is complex. But I don't want to alienate those listeners who don't have a penis. I hope they're entertained, but I want them to learn as well.

[B]

Well, actually, there's a pretty good chance the ladies listening to this podcast are as interested as the fellas. Just ask Sigmund Freud. I mean, look, we really can't talk about penises without at least addressing his theory. According to Sigmund Freud, girls experience penis envy during early childhood development. Basically a sense of loss or incompletene because they don't have a penis.

[A]

Okay, but is that true though? I just.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, well, okay, fine. Full disclosure. Freud's theories have been widely rejected by modern psychology. Modern psychologists don't believe that girls experience envy and a sense of incompleteness anymore. They just chalk it up to little girls being very, very curious about this thing they don't have.

[A]

Yeah, so in Other words, human nature. But you could also easily flip the script and suggest all young boys have womb envy. Or that teenage boys have boob envy. I mean, it's not a thing, I don't think.

[B]

Yeah, you're 100% right. And either way, these theories highlight just how much we project identity onto our genitals.

[A]

I'm reminded of the hueva dolces, Michael. We talked about them before. I can't remember why.

[B]

Yeah, we did talk about them. And they are a group in the Dominican Republic who have a rare genetic condition. At birth, they appear female, and at around age 12, they grow a penis.

[A]

Huevodoche literally means penis at 12, which is kind of funny.

[B]

Yeah, it's fascinating. Look into them if you're interested. And there are many people out there who are considered intersex because they have genitalia with both male and female characteristics.

[A]

Intersex. I think I've heard of that. That's fascinating.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, hermaphrodite, I think, is the term that used to be used back in the day.

[A]

Is that pejorative now? Because that sounds kind of pejorative now.

[B]

I don't know. In the research, it said intersex, but hermaphrodite used to be what they would say back in the day. But, yeah, I think a more clinical term probably is hermaphrodite. Sounds like. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, it's sort of in the bucket in my brain where mulatto is, and it's like, eh, we don't say that anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or like how my dad describes my wife as oriental, even though he means Asian. And it's like, it's not racist, but it's like it's not the preferred nomenclature, man, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You quote the Big Lebowski.

[B]

I have found that a lot of forgiveness. I'm Italian, so the old Italian men in my life, it's just. Just why bother? You would waste so much time trying to correct all the things they say that are no longer said in polite company. But I just say, born at a different time. I forgive you, old racist Italian man.

[A]

All right, So I guess the bottom line is you're not weird, you're not different, you're not inadequate, no matter what is happening or not happening in your pants. But, you know, try telling that to that big, bossy, omnipotent presence, culture and society.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you are correct. Society has for a long time been telling men that they are inadequate if they don't have a prize package. And with the advent of high speed Internet porn. There is literal epidemic of men feeling inadequate.

[A]

I have heard and I talk to a lot of guys about this in preparation for this. There are young men who are so insecure about their penises that they're not even texting photos of them to everybody that they meet, which is such a shame.

[B]

Oh my God, I feel so bad for those boys. Yeah, I know. The dick pic, which. Which, although that was a good joke, is more of a symptom of our culture's obsession. But the dick pic actually helps me to illustrate a point. Everyone's heard of men sending photos in which they add something for scale.

[A]

I see. So like in my case, a red Bull can or something. So the viewer gets a sense of the actual size.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I'm kidding, people. But yeah, go ahead, continue.

[B]

Right, but similar in porn, camera tricks, like we said, influence the perception of the penis size. The scale can be manipulated in order to fool the viewer. Also, as we said, and this blew my mind, female actors are sometimes cast not because they have big boobs, but because they have little hands.

[A]

One thinks of women being cast in porn because, yeah, they've got the big boobs and they got the. But you're saying that the small hands is almost like. I guess it depends on the target market. That is so funny somehow.

[B]

Yeah. And look, porn is determined to bolster the narrative that big is better. And it's not just small hands. Camera angles, lighting tricks, wide angle lenses. These are all the tricks they're doing. Including. And I came across this one like just recently while researching this. It's known in the porn world as the stunt cock. Have you heard about this?

[A]

Yeah, but I don't. I thought that was a joke. What is that?

[B]

No, no, no. That's literally when they'll cast one actor, maybe because he's handsome or whatever in a scene, but the closeups, they switch in a different guy with a bigger penis.

[A]

I see. So like one dude is ripped and young and handsome and the other guy is like some middle aged dude, but he just has a giant dong. And they're like, all right, stunt cock, get in there. And then they gloss up and then the other guy goes, this is so ridiculous. Remind me though, to take my next dick pic next to one of those 7.5 ounce cans of Coca Cola that my wife got for the kids. I feel like that's a good. That's. That's probably a. Probably a little cheat code right there. Speaking of tricks, the guys I know, again, who I connected with, who do porn they're fond of these penis pumps. And I know we'll probably do a lot more with these in our enhancement episode that comes out.

[B]

Yeah. But I think that it's worth mentioning the penis pump in this episode. Let's do it. The penis pump. What they do is they increase length and girth temporarily. Porn actors use them for right before going on camera. And the end result is again that average guys see this and then they feel inadequate.

[A]

And so this is actually doing real harm. This is not just kind of like, haha, they use penis pumps and then guys think they have a small dick. The more I looked into this, the more I see there's a lot of guys that are so hung up on this, they're not even talking to women because they feel like, oh, what's the point? I could never get intimate with them because I have a small dick. Even though they're completely average most of the time.

[B]

Yeah, that is such a good point. And although we didn't really cover it here, I'm curious if women's perceptions of penis size have changed as a result of porn as well. I'm guessing they would have had to have.

[A]

Yeah. That's interesting. I. I've heard of. I mean, this is a little bit of a misogynistic term, but we. It's called girl inches.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so women will say like, I had a guy with a 14 inch dick and it's like not physically possible. No one on earth has ever measured that. It's clearly not true.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Maybe the guy lied to you or maybe you just said that and you misestimate. Because I don't know about you, man, but I've hooked up with a decent amount of women. Zero of them have ever brought a tape measure into the bedroom. So it's just kind of rule of thumb, mood of the day, how drunk you are at the point in time. And then they're like, oh, it's giant or it's small or who cares? I mean, none of it, it's not scientific, I think is where I'm going with this.

[B]

Right. And it's affecting men. I mean, insecurity, depression. Not only does this feed into anxiety for men, it creates an ent market for products and surgeries to fix a problem that many men are only convinced they have. Yeah, it's not real. In fact, here's a little snippet of info for you. Penis sizes are up.

[A]

What do you mean they're up?

[B]

This is what I found. According to a study published in 2023, the average penis length has increased by 24%. Whoa. All right, all right, all right.

[A]

Let's hear it for the boys, I guess. Wow. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, but. So penis sizes are up 24%. But you won't be surprised to find that according to Google, searches about penis pumps are up 70% in the last several years.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So let's take a moment to discuss penis pumps. Why not? Which are, in fact, widely used on porn sets, although not widely advertised, to make penises larger and girthier.

[A]

Well, that's what they're for. So a man becomes insecure because he saw porn, which makes him seem inadequate, but the porn star himself was using camera angles and penis pumps because he was also inadequate.

[B]

Right. So an insecure person goes out and buys a penis pump to try and make himself as big as the guy that needed a penis pump to look that big in the first place.

[A]

Another crappy feedback back loop. Not good.

[B]

Right. And side note, penis pumps have been around for a long time. American physician John King is credited with having invented them in 1874. It was then and is now basically just a vacuum tube. Kind of like that Brazilian cave insect. But, yeah, it's a vacuum tube that you put your penis in and then pump the air out. The resulting suction can both cause an erection, but also all that extra blood it's pulling, it causes extra size.

[A]

That seems dangerous in so many ways because of the way it unevenly inflates and whatnot. In fact, it is. One of the doctors I connected with on the enhancement stuff, and I'm sure we'll get more into this in the enhancement app. He was like, those are bad news. They can do a lot of damage. They can discolor your penis, make it look really gross. And as we just learned, looks are more important than size. So. All right, in a society that seems to be size obsessed, is it really a good thing that we're. I mean, I guess it's a good thing that you can do something about the size, but then you're trading potentially, the health of your penis. I don't know.

[B]

Kind of. I suppose now is a good time to talk about the downside of super size.

[A]

All right.

[B]

And perhaps having a giant penis isn't all it's cracked up to be. Let's start with how big is really big? Anything over 8 inches, and you're in the top 99.99 percentile of penises.

[A]

You mean in terms of length? Right, because there's also width, and that makes a volume calculation.

[B]

Yes. And we get a little bit into that in a moment. But, yeah, anything bigger than 8 inches, and you've got what's known as, and quote, and this is what I read in a paper, a problematically large penis.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that is, according to Dr. Brian Sty. He is the medical director of urology at Barton Health. And that is per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

[A]

I've been talking to a lot of guys of various size, especially guys with giant ones. I know that sounds horrific, but it was so. This has been the most fascinating month of research of my entire life. Anyway, these guys have real, real problems, and we'll get into a little bit of this. But, yeah, if you're over, like, 8 inches, your clothes don't fit. Well, there's guys that have. Have not been able to fit inside their partners. There's a lot of people that can't wear underwear very well, or they get kicked out of water parks because, like, no way. Like, oh, look at this pervert. And it's like, no, I'm flaccid. But what are you gonna do? Explain that to every mom who's covering their kid's eyes that you're not erect because you're bigger than their husband is when you're flaccid? I mean, how is that gonna work, Right? So there's all kinds of stuff like that. And then believe it or not, like, yeah, it might be cool. Like, oh, man, so and so's got a giant dick. High school. It's funny. But then it's like. Like now you don't know if you're just being passed around, like, to other women. I mean, these guys have real issues. There's a lot of them get broken up with because they can't fit inside their partner. It's so sad because by the time you're about to get intimate, you already like the person, right? You might even already be in love with the person, depending on how sex is for you, how early in the relationship you do it. So it's really, really not good. Let me try to lighten this up. Large penises also have other funny clinical terms like megalophallus, which I think is a great nickname to have. But again, I'm trivializing these people's real problems. What other kind of problems did you come across in your research?

[B]

You actually kind of highlighted exactly where I'm going with, because most of the problems are not medical problems for the possessor of the. And I'm going to go ahead and use the actual clinical term here, which is ginormous wiener.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Let's start with the obvious, right?

[A]

So the one thing that comes up over and over and over in my conversations with these guys is that it's painful for the partner, right? And I'm talking about, like, you need 30 minutes of foreplay to even be able to get it in. And before that, it's a no go. It's not just painful, it physically won't work.

[B]

Jesus. 30 minutes of foreplay. Who's got the time anymore?

[A]

I know what you mean.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And by the way, it's not just painful, it can be dangerous. A ginormous wiener can actually rupture things inside a partner. So just try and imagine putting your patented moves into a lovemaking session only to find your partner doubled over in excruciating pain.

[A]

All right, stay tuned for some sizable deals from the amazing sponsors that support this show.

[C]

Show.

[A]

We'll be right back. This episode is sponsored in part by ZipRecruiter. The holidays are funny. You got people hiring for everything from haunted corn maze workers in October to lead elves and real bearded Santas in December. Even snowplow drivers, who, by the way, I'm convinced are basically superheroes in the Midwest. Those are niche jobs, right? Not easy to find the right person for. That's where ZipRecruiter comes in. Whether you're looking for your next Santa Claus or just someone solid to fill a year round role, the best way to find a perfect match is on ZipRecruiter right now. You can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com Jordan and what I like about ZipRecruiter is their matching technology. It works fast. Instead of you sifting through a bunch of unqualified resumes, it actually brings the best candidates to you. You can even see right away how many people in your area are qualified for the role you've got open. Which saves a ton of time and guesswork. No wonder it's the number one rated hiring site on G2.

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[A]

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[A]

This episode is also sponsored in part by Shopify. When I first started this podcast, I felt like I had 10 different jobs. Writing, recording, building a website, logos, you name it. So I know what it's like to be without a useful partner like Shopify. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide, 10% of all e commerce in the US from giants like Mattel and Gymshark to people just starting out. And here's the thing. I shop online a lot, probably more than I should admit. And you can always tell when a business runs on Shopify because the whole experience is just smooth. It's intuitive, checkout is seamless. It actually makes it a pleasure to give them my money. That's what Shopify does for businesses. You get beautiful store templates built in, AI tools that write product descriptions and polish up your photography and marketing support that makes it feel like you've got a team behind you. Email campaigns, social media, the works. And behind the scenes, Shopify takes care of the heavy lifting. Inventory, shipping, returns so you don't have to. So yeah, if I ever launch an e commerce business, what with all the free time I have, I'd 100% partner with Shopify. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify.

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[A]

Much for listening to and supporting the show. All of the deals, discount codes and ways to support this podcast are searchable and Clickable over at jordanharbinger.com deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show now for the rest of Skeptical Sunday. Well, the other thing is, you know those days back when you were young and virile where you could actually have sex like multiple times per day?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, none of these guys that I talked to were able to do that often. A two day recovery or more between when their partner can do this again, because the friction is a completely different. If you've got, let's say a 6 inch girth instead of a 4.5 inch girth, it's just not even close. So you're not going to be able to do that more than a couple of times a week, max.

[B]

Wow, that's so interesting.

[A]

And sometimes it's like, oh, she bleeds. This is tmi. But you know, oh, she bleeds every time. And so, you know, that's got to heal up. And like, sometimes when you're married for 10 or 20 years, sometimes the woman's like, I'm over it. I just, I don't want to deal with this anymore. And then it leads to a dead bedroom. So we're out here being like, all these guys who are hung, man, they're so awesome. They must be having so much sex. Some of them are having no sex because of this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or very little. Yeah.

[B]

It sucks. I mean, it can be stressful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Imagine you just said it meeting someone, you really like them, and you have to wait for that right moment to let them know, hey, I'm really enjoying hanging out with you, but I need you to know I have a giant, giant penis.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it could be challenging, possibly painful for you.

[A]

And like, at what point on your dates do you mention this and don't sound like you're just bragging? And then if she does, it's like, oh, okay. So. And if you do it early, it's like you're only going to get size queens and your other everyone else is going to be like, what a jerk. He's talking about his penis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you wait 10 dates, okay, now you find out that you literally can't be intimate with this person at all. And you went on 10 dates and you both really like each other. It's just. It's kind of terrible. It's a curse in many ways.

[B]

It does sound like it. I mean, it's almost like the person that has to divulge to a partner that they have, you know, herpes or something like that.

[A]

Herpes? Yeah. Exactly. I mean, look, if I had to pick between herpes and a giant dick, I know what I would choose, but it's still not good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, not the desired result at all.

[B]

I mean, we already got a little TMI here, but might as well continue that. Most guys with this particular abnormality say that oral sex is. Is pretty much out of the question, particularly for the girthier gentlemen. Most partners can't give it because they can't open their mouth that wide. And if they can. And I'm going to get particularly crude here.

[A]

Now you're worried about getting crude. Okay. I think we just talked about draining erections with a needle, among many other things. Anyway, anyone still listening at this point, I think can handle.

[B]

Okay, yeah. Okay. If a partner can open their mouth big enough to perform oral sex on a ginormous penis, according to the guys, it's all teeth.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And that is because of the girth and because we talked about girth. Average girth, by the way, is 4.5 inches, which is interesting because that's just not a figure we can like. Unless you're. I don't know, you make dowel rods for a living. You hear, eight inches for a penis, you're like, okay, I can picture that, but in my mind, I have no idea what 4.5 girthy inches is.

[A]

It's tough. And you think, like, oh, an inch and a half isn't a big deal, or 1 inch isn't a big deal. 4.5, 5.5. This is the difference between a normal average penis and a vitamin bottle, which, like, after the show, go ahead and grab a vitamin bottle, or just measure the bottom, measure the circumference, and then try and fit it in your mouth if it's 5.5 or 6 inches. Not going to happen. So guys with ginormous penises either don't get oral sex at all, or they say get some version of it that's not as enjoyable, or they have to date someone who can freaking unhinge their jaw like a boa constrictor. So good luck.

[B]

Yeah. And, you know, I mean, you already mentioned it, but it bears repeating, that reputational thing for guys. You know, some of these guys, when they're younger, it's flattering. You know, known as the guy with the big schlong. But as they get older and they get on with their life, they don't want that to be the first thing you think of when you. You see them. You know, it's like, this is Joe. He's Been working with Doctors without borders for 10 years. He has three beautiful children and apparently freaking huge.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I know that people are probably wondering like, what's the biggest dick in the world? And there was this guy who said that he clocked in over, I think it was like 13 inches. But I looked into this and it's just total nonsense. He like tried to have it scientifically validated, but it turned out to be a bunch of trickery and crap. I mean, look, 13 inches, not quite on par with our little barnacle friend who has a penis eight times the size of his body. But let's say the ones that are scientifically validated that I found are like 9, 10 inches. They kind of top out at like 10 inches. And even 10 inches is like you can't really find one of those in the wild. Even in the places where I was looking where all the people are who are complaining about this stuff. So it's kind of like nine and a half. Ten inches is, let's just say the top.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, John Holmes, I looked into it because he's one of the most famous big penises in history and not scientifically verified in any way.

[A]

Of course, porn stars are never going to allow that. Right, because you're going to find out that it's 8.2 inches with a bunch of camera tricks, small hands, et cetera. They're not going to want that out there.

[B]

Yeah, but the bottom line is they are problematic, these guys that fantasize about having a giant penis. In fact, there's some evidence that these ginormous penises, they have trouble staying hard, you know, sometimes it's a lot of blood, you know, and once you're not a young man anymore, that can be problematic for you.

[A]

That's right. How much Viagra do you have to take to make a 10 inch dong erect? A whole bottle? Half the bottle?

[B]

No, definitely not. In fact, that's not how Viagra works. Works just because you said it. We'll have a little public service announcement. Taking too much Viagra can be highly dangerous, can have bad side effects. So even if you have a giant penis, just take the doctor recommended dose.

[A]

That is probably really smart. Okay, so we've talked about ginormous penises. So there are guys out there, and I ran into this in my research, who have either just below average or like small. It's called a micro penis. And I forget what the scientific definition of this is, but it's, you know, it's not good.

[B]

We'll get into that. And right off the bat, I gotta point out that we're talking about two different things here. Ginormous penises, whatever you want to call it, is just a colloquialism that we throw around.

[A]

I think swinging around would be the more appropriate analogy for a giant penis. But go off. Let's talk about the small.

[B]

Okay, very good. But, yeah, again, giant penis, ginormous penis, long schlong, Titanic, tallywacker, whatever you want to say. These are just schoolyard slang. Whereas micropenis is an actual medical term for an unusually small penis.

[A]

Yeah, okay, we knew that. Thanks, Doc.

[B]

Doc. Yeah. Okay, well, what you might not know is that a micropenis is diagnosed by a doctor and is defined as being 2.5 deviations smaller than the mean penis.

[A]

But you say this is a medical condition, so what is the. What's actually the medical condition?

[B]

Okay, well, it could be one of a number of conditions, but the most common is hormonal. Let's talk about how a. And I use this term loosely because there is no normal in penises, but let's talk about how a normal penis develops. In early pregnancy, around 7 to 12 weeks, males develop testes. These testes produce testosterone. Testosterone produces dihydrotestosterone, or dht. And adequate levels of these hormones lead to an adequate penis, which, on a side note, I've been told I have adequate.

[A]

Oh, high praise.

[B]

Yeah, highest praise ever.

[A]

So I'm guessing a disruption of that hormone in early pregnancy is what leads to a micropenis. So this is something that happens in the womb.

[B]

Okay, absolutely. And you'd be correct. Okay. And this can be due to a number of conditions, including some genetic conditions like Kalman syndrome and Prader Willi syndrome.

[A]

Sorry, sorry. I swear, I'm not trying to be insensitive here, but one of the genetic syndromes that leads to a micropenis is called Prader Willi syndrome. Okay. I'm 12.

[B]

Okay, fine. Damn it. It is named for the scientists who discovered it.

[A]

I know. It has to be.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What they discovered was that this is a problem with a chromosome which leads to. To actually insatiable hunger throughout the person's life that has this syndrome leads to obesity, but it also leads to small features like hands, feet and penises. It actually can be pretty devastating.

[A]

Yeah. This is terrible. Now I feel like a horrible person. Small hands, small feet, small penis. But you're also insatiably hungry, so you're fat, too. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Oh, God, this is terrible. Okay, so here's a question. If A hormonal deficiency causes micropenises. Can a hormone replacement type of thing fix a micro penis or is it just sort of too late?

[B]

That is actually a great question. And the answer is yes, particularly in infancy.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Which is great news for not just the infant, but also for the parents, as these can be incredibly difficult circumstances.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In my research, I came across an article in a medical journal debating the idea that boys born with micro penises might actually be better off if they're raised as girls due to the devastating emotional effects of a micro penis.

[A]

Wow, that is extreme. That doesn't sound like a good idea. But I'm also like, well, what is the. What is a good idea instead? Yikes. That's. Wow. Okay, total sucks.

[B]

Side note, in that article, I came across a case of a child that lost its penis altogether in a botched circumcision. I had to think to myself, man, that is one seriously botched circumcision. Way worse than the one on Seinfeld where Jerry's finger got snipped.

[A]

Oh, that's terrible. We're going to get far more into the solutions to micropenises in our next episode. Again, about penis enhancement. Let's just say that a micropenis, like all sized penises, is not to be made fun of. I mean, I laughed at the Prader Willi syndrome thing because of the name, but, like, the condition itself is no joke. Okay, so we just alluded to it. This feels like a good place to talk about it. Let's take a moment and discuss the natural look versus stylized penis. Can we do that?

[B]

Yeah. Also known as American style versus European style. The turtleneck vis a vis the crew neck.

[A]

Right. Cut versus uncut, circumcised versus uncircumcised. And I will say, I gotta you tell you, the first time that I saw an uncircumcised penis. You know when you're an adult and you see something you've never seen before in your life and your brain just goes, I have no reference point for this. And I'm so confused.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That's what was happening to me. I went to a sauna in a gym in Germany in 1998, and I was like, I don't understand what's going on. And it took me forever to be like, oh, duh, circumcision, Right. Because it's not something people talk about really as adults. And I just remember going, what in the actual hell am I looking at? It was such a bizarre experience for me.

[B]

That is crazy. So now's a good time for a little full disclosure. And since I discussed this at length in my new comedy special out this year, look for it. I was circumcised at age 15.

[A]

Wow. Well, okay. News to me. I guess we have an expert on the old snip snip surgery here. Woof.

[B]

Yeah, well, probably not an expert, but I think I can speak to the pressures a young man feels if he's different from other young man men. The old gym shower thing doing its thing on me, you know? And here in the United States of America, we have made a choice. A penis choice. We are the land of the free of foreskin and the home of the bravely chopping them off. And whereas in many places in the world, people don't do that. They just assume little babies are perfect as they are and they don't alter them.

[A]

Well, since circumcision is part of the Jewish tradition, I'm guessing that all this started as a religious ritual. Kind of. Or no.

[B]

You know what? That's not even clear.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The earliest recorded depiction of circumcision comes from about 2400 BCE in Egypt. It's depicted in a tomb and in hieroglyphs, it was possibly a rite of passage in manhood or a symbol of cleanliness or a social status.

[A]

So not a religious command, huh? I would have guessed that the only way to get a guy to cut part of his body off or his son's body would be if the creator literally ordered him to do it because. Wow, tall order.

[B]

Yeah, well, that actually did come next. In the Hebrew Bible, Genesis 17, God commanded Abraham to circumcise himself and all male descendants as a sign of a covenant between God and man. Or I guess in this case, God and men specifically.

[A]

Yeah, that's the story I vaguely remember.

[B]

Yeah, me too. But I don't remember. At Sunday school, Sister lorraine teaching us first Samuel 18, 25, 27.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know what that is. What is that?

[B]

Well, we already talked about David. It's the sequel to the old David and Goliath story.

[A]

Oh, okay. Is this where David circumcises a. Wait, no. I don't want to think about how big that penis is. I might be confusing my stories, Michael.

[B]

Yeah, I think you might. No, not exactly. It's more about David circumcising a giant number of people. You see, David became quite famous after slaying Goliath. So famous that he began courting the daughter of King Saul. And as I'm sure you've already Guessed King Saul asked for the very standard price from David for his daughter's hand of 100 bloody foreskins.

[D]

Ugh.

[A]

Was the bank closed that day? Why bloody. Oh, why bloody foreskins?

[B]

Yeah, the bank must have been closed that day, but our hero David came through with flying colors because he showed up with 200 bloody foreskins.

[A]

Oh, whoa, man. I'm seeing why they leave that part out of the children's books depicting the story of David and Goliath. That is so weird.

[B]

Yeah, well, the takeaway from the story is circumcision was a big deal, and not just to Jewish folk in the ancient world. The Syrians and the Phoenicians also practiced. Many years later, the Islamic world would adopt the practice, although it's not a religious commandment for them. In Christianity, though, not being circumcised was a selling point. So Paul, one of the earliest prophets of Christianity. Paul speaks of this in Galatians. You have to remember, Christianity was just a sect of Judaism back then. And as a selling point to converts who would convert to Christianity, they were like, hey, convert to this new sect of Judaism called Christianity. And you don't have to saw off the end of your penis to join our group, eh?

[A]

Yeah, not a bad offer. Let's be frank here, though. Ancient people were practicing it because, well, things got a little nasty under the hood, the foreskin, as it were, back in the days before soap and clean water. Right. And that kind of where this came from.

[B]

I mean, that is absolutely my assumption too, but it's hard to say. But that is certainly a justification for why people do it nowadays. In the 19th century, Western medicine began to promote the idea for cleanliness, disease reduction. And this one surprised me. They believed it reduced the chances of masturbation. Oh, God.

[A]

Well, you were circumcised at age 15. Did it have that effect on you?

[B]

I'm here to report that the notion that circumcision reduces masturbation is total.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here in America, it wasn't until after World War II that it just became the norm to snip the boys. And this is the world we grew up in. It was in the post World War II gym showers that I started to feel different and felt the need to have the incredibly awkward conversation with my parents that I ended up having.

[A]

Yeah, but you were an adult, or almost an adult, so it was, you know, it was your choice. I know a lot of the debate nowadays has to do with the fact that the person you're altering is not consenting because they're literally a baby.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And in fact, this is a hotly debated issue now. The kids growing up in this America now will see a vastly changed gym shower as many parents are choosing against it. In fact, in Germany and Denmark, they're even discussing the legality of non consensual circumstances. These are of course, incredibly hotly debated topics as they are trying to ban long held and revered religious practices.

[A]

We did an episode on circumcision on Skeptical Sunday, actually, and I go into detail about my decision making process with my son because tldr we didn't do that to him. And there's look, it's kind of a 5050 thing. And I was like, I'll just let him make his choice and if there's a problem, you know, we'll take care of it anyway. You've had it both ways. Which do you prefer, if I may ask?

[B]

Jesus. I almost said it's hard to say. And then I realized, another penis joke.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

It's difficult to say because I wake up in the morning and I like who I am. I don't feel like I need to change. But I also have no idea what I would have felt like if I didn't have the snip snip. I guess I can just say that I truly don't feel like any harm has come to me as a result of the procedure. Side note, when I was 15, I got the snips. It. My best friend at the time used a fake ID to get a tattoo and he has tons of regrets about getting the leprechaun giving the middle finger tattoo he has on his right arm that I have about the fact that I excommunicated my foreskin from the church of Vigilio.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm gonna be honest. Penises are way more complicated than I ever imagined. And when I researched this, I feel like I got at least a master's degree and penology as a result of this, this and the next step.

[B]

Is that the actual term or did you just make that up?

[A]

No, no, I just made that up. I don't think that's a real thing. If it is, it probably doesn't mean what it sounds like it means.

[B]

Yeah, I would imagine. But you're right. If you've got a penis, try and love and care for it, no matter how big or small or curved or veiny or snipped it is.

[A]

Well, you can get rid of the curve. Maybe we'll talk about that in the enhancement episode. Anyway, stop stressing about it. Being too small or not good at the enough. And if you stress about it too much or it gives you a lower sense of self worth, you're sabotaging your self confidence and you're sabotaging your attractiveness. And so the best advice really is to just love your wiener.

[B]

Yeah, well, most guys I know are way ahead of you on that particular revelation. That's true.

[A]

Because no matter what you got going on down there, just be happy that it's no longer covered in spikes.

[B]

Unless it is, then love that too.

[A]

Hey, if you got a spiky barbed penis, and I'm pretty sure you don't love that too, just, I don't know, wear gloves or something. Oh, and again, we're not done with dicks, y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

I usually don't do spoilers, but we're gonna go down what I will again say is a girthy rabbit hole on the subject. So stay tuned next week for an episode on penile enhancement where you will get way, way, way too much information about penile enhancement and about me personally. So we both did some seriously penetrating research for that episode that we did. Thanks everyone for listening. Topic suggestions for future episodes of Skeptical Sunday to [e-mail]. show notes on the website, advertisers, deals, discount codes, ways to support the show, [e-mail] deals I'm ordanharbinger on both Twitter and Instagram. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. You can find Michael Rigilio at michaelrogilio on Instagram. We'll also link to that in the show notes. Because nobody can spell Rogilio and his comedy special comes out in the fall. We'll make sure we keep you updated on that. This show is created in association with Podcast One. My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Tata Sidlowskis, Robert Fogarty, Ian Baird, and Gabriel Mizra. Our advice and opinions are our own. And I am a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. Do your own research before implementing things you hear on the show. And if it's this episode, definitely contact your doctor. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love. If you found the episode useful, please share it with somebody else who could use a good dose of the skepticism and knowledge we doled out here today. In the meantime, I hope you apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you learn. And we'll see you next time. What if the most powerful painkiller, memory booster and mood shifter wasn't in your medicine curve cabinet, but in your playlist.

[D]

Well, experiential fusion is a term coined by Richard Davidson at University of Wisconsin Madison, who works closely with the Dalai Lama about altered states and meditative states and such. And the idea is that it's sometimes referred to as flow, although it's slightly different flow state. You're in the zone if you're a basketball player or if you're a coder. You just lose lose track of time. But the experiential fusion that you and I are talking about with music is that under the right circumstances, you forget that you're listening to music. You might even forget who you are. You become one with the experience. There is an evidence base now for music therapies and music interventions. We know that music can affect the immune system in several ways. Ways Listening to pleasurable music can increase levels of immunoglobulin A, an important antibody that travels to the site of mucosal infections and help fights them off. We know that music that is pleasurable to you can increase the production of natural killer cells and T cells, also important for fighting disease and infection. Some music can lead to reductions in infection inflammation. Why music does this and why the immune system responds to it, we don't know. But it does.

[A]

For more on how music hacks your brain's chemistry to heal in ways that medicine can't, check out episode 1147 with neuroscientist Daniel J. Leviton. Before we wrap up, I want to give a quick shout out to friend and contributor to the show, Michael Rigilio. He's got a brand new comedy special out called called Warbar. It dropped on October 7th on Amazon Prime. It's produced by Jack Vaughn, the guy behind specials for legends like Bo Burnham and Jim Gaffigan, Norm MacDonald, a ton more if you dig smart comedy, definitely check out War Bar when it drops. Michael's a friend of the show. Genuinely. I find him funny in person, just naturally, probably by accident. I'm not sure if that's a compliment, Michael. I'm sorry. But anyway, you don't have to take my word for it. Be skeptical and stream Warbar on Amazon Prime Video for your Yourself.