Podcast Summary: The Jordan Harbinger Show

Episode 1232: "Open Relationship Deal Makes You the 3rd Wheel | Feedback Friday"

Release Date: October 31, 2025
Host: Jordan Harbinger
Guest/Producer: Gabriel Mizrahi

Episode Overview

This Feedback Friday edition features Jordan and Gabriel tackling listener questions on open relationships, career vs. romance struggles, neighbor disputes, tech and parenting, and more, all with their signature wit and candor. The show opens with personal anecdotes about glamorous and awkward press junkets, sharing a bed at a hotel, and memorable celebrity interviews. The main theme is navigating modern relationship and life dilemmas with clarity, humor, and healthy boundaries.

Episode Structure & Key Segments

1. Behind the Scenes: Press Junket Mishaps & Friendship Moments

[01:30–14:20]

• Red Carpet Fumbles: Jordan and Gabriel recount attending a film premiere for William H. Macy’s "Soul on Fire" in St. Louis. Unexpected events include sharing a bed due to booking errors, being underdressed for the event, and awkward interactions at the movie premiere.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Gabriel: “We end up at the premiere, and we’re just those dudes from California, wildly underdressed in a sea of Southern folk who are so kind and forgiving of our outfits. It was ridiculous.” (06:11)
• Celebrity Selfies: Sharing a bed leads to an Instagram post from Gabriel and the ongoing “Bert and Ernie” nickname joke.
• Sleep Talk: Jordan teases Gabriel about his sleep-talking (“Is it in the brain?”), adding to their friendly banter (11:04).

2. Listener Question #1: Navigating a Polyamorous Relationship Gone Awry

[14:20–26:30]

Situation:

• Listener's eight-year relationship opened to non-monogamy six years ago.
• Her partner recently became deeply involved with "Maggie," traveling one week a month to visit her.
• Communication and expectations have broken down, and the listener is left feeling like “the third wheel.”

Key Discussion Points:

• Communication is Non-negotiable:
  • Jordan: “It’s really hard to have a successful relationship without clear and honest communication.” (20:04)
• Indecision IS a Decision:
  • Gabriel: “If he’s choosing to spend all this time with Maggie...at a certain point, she might have to take him at face value and go, ‘Okay, I guess this is what you want.’” (21:27)
  • Jordan: “His indecision...that is an answer in itself.” (21:47)
• Hierarchy & Polyamory:
  • Exploring “hierarchical non-monogamy” and how wanting a “primary” partner may be wishful in this situation.
  • Gabriel: “What a poly question to be asking—how do I rebuild trust in the woman my partner is sleeping with?” (23:49)
• Final Advice:
  • Both encourage the listener to consider her own needs and not wait endlessly for her partner to decide.
  • “The most important variable is the quality of your relationship...prioritize your needs.” (24:29–24:49)
• Memorable Moment:
  • Jordan: “Polyamory is the Bermuda Triangle of the deuce cruise... you go around and around in circles, the feelings are big and messy.” (19:54)

3. Listener Question #2: Navy Success vs. Attractiveness Dilemma

[28:15–44:34]

Situation:

• 26-year-old Navy lieutenant; successful, independent, owns property, but struggles to attract men.
• Feels her achievements and lack of traditional femininity make dating challenging.
• Wonders if she needs to “sell out”—wear makeup, act less competent, or use dating apps—to be successful in romance.

Key Discussion Points:

• Achievement as a Double-edged Sword:
  • Jordan: “Bright, bold, confident...high achievers like you...probably do have it harder in the dating world.” (33:36)
• Debating Authenticity vs. Strategy:
  • Should she wear makeup or soften her image?
    • Gabriel: “What’s the difference between voluntarily playing the game because it helps, and selling out?” (36:51)
• Dating App Skepticism:
  • Acknowledgment that apps are tough, but they may open new doors given her schedule.
  • Gabriel: “She also has some fairly rigid views about how they are and what they mean...maybe giving them a go could be helpful.” (38:40)
• Reframing ‘Selling Out’:
  • Jordan: “A little goes a long way...most importantly, this is all for her to decide.” (37:34)
  • Gabriel: “Maybe the best approach is to put all these ideas aside...try it, see what happens.” (41:04)
• Notable Quote:
  • Jordan: “That is the guy’s version of wearing makeup.” (41:04; on men being financially stable as an analog for expectations)

4. Listener Question #3: Petty Neighbor War Over a Wall

[44:34–54:06]

Situation:

• Homeowner built a wall to block neighbor’s cats and smells.
• Neighbor uses the wall to dry laundry and feed cats; listener regularly tosses items back over, leading to an escalating standoff.

Key Discussion Points:

• Petty or Proper?:
  • Jordan: “I love a good nightmare neighbor story...Lets my inner Petty Labelle come right out.” (47:26)
  • “Screw her...but when you’re dealing with someone socially unskilled, it’s wise to be the bigger person.” (48:26)
• Practical Steps:
  • Gabe: Suggests baking a cake and re-introducing herself to cool tensions before making requests.
  • Jordan: Legal and practical advice for documentation and escalation if neighborly diplomacy fails.
    • “Once you do the dark stuff, it’s really hard to put the cat feces back in the tube.” (53:20)
• Memorable Quote:
  • Jordan (on escalation): “Get a garbage bag, keep her things, and if she keeps doing this, have a lawyer send a cease and desist letter...But give Gabe’s diplomatic approach a try first.” (51:00)

5. Listener Question #4: Parenting, Tech, & Family Screen-Time Wars

[58:54–72:16]

Situation:

• Listener and spouse (both with childcare backgrounds) want to keep screens away from their upcoming baby, inspired by Jonathan Haidt.
• Their siblings’ kids use phones/tablets at loud volumes in public and at gatherings. Listener feels uneasy about enforcing strict boundaries and wants advice for minimizing tech exposure without creating family drama.

Key Discussion Points:

• Realism vs. Ideals:
  • Jordan: “You do you. They do them. Both options are legit.” (65:39)
  • “Be the sheriff” with your kids, but don’t be judgmental towards others. (64:17–65:39)
• Starting the Conversation:
  • Gabriel: Suggests foaming the runway for the decision with curiosity rather than criticism: “How much are you thinking about this stuff? … Have you been reading any good stuff on this topic?”
• Modeling Behavior Over Imposing It:
  • “Invite everybody to be more present when you’re all together.” (68:40)
  • “Maybe let your kids move between these two worlds, which is probably the best outcome.” (72:16)
• Notable Quotes:
  • Jordan: “It’s hard for me to tell my 80-something year old parents what to do...they decide.” (70:56–71:15)
  • Gabriel: “The research on screen time is more mixed than we might think...the best solution might be somewhere in between.” (72:16)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Polyamory:
  • Jordan: “Polyamory is the Bermuda Triangle of the deuce cruise...you go around and around in circles, the feelings are big and messy.” (19:54)
• On Being High-Achieving and Single:
  • Jordan: “A guy should be so lucky to meet somebody who has their ish together.” (31:12)
• On Neighbors from Hell:
  • Jordan: “You don’t want to feel guilty or regretful that you didn’t try things the decent way first...escalation is really hard to come back from.” (53:20)

Recommendations & Final Thoughts

• Recommendation of the Week: Get a high-quality, rechargeable flashlight for power outages. (56:33)
• Community: Listeners are encouraged to join the subreddit and sign up for the newsletter "Wee Bit Wiser."
• Networking Reminder: Take advantage of Jordan’s free “Six-Minute Networking” course. (72:16–end)

Tone and Style

Jordan and Gabriel keep things honest, self-effacing, and playful, peppering every segment with wordplay, sharp observations, and an irreverent but compassionate lens on modern life’s complications.

Useful Timestamps

• [01:30] Show opens, banter, red carpet story
• [14:20] Polyamory relationship question
• [28:15] Navy lieutenant on romance and achievement
• [44:34] Petty neighbor wall dispute
• [58:54] Parenting, tech, and family screen-time boundaries
• [56:33, 72:16] Recommendations and wrap

Conclusion

This Feedback Friday delivers insightful, practical, and entertaining advice for contemporary relationship, career, and life dilemmas, balancing straight talk with empathy and humor. Whether you're navigating the tricky waters of polyamory, struggling to find love amid a demanding career, battling a petty neighbor, or waging war on screen time, Jordan and Gabriel’s conversations provide actionable, relatable wisdom—and plenty of memorable laughs.