The Jordan Harbinger Show – Feedback Friday #1271

Episode Title: Buzzing Teen Question Has Mom Second-Guessin' | Feedback Friday
Date: January 16, 2026
Host: Jordan Harbinger
Co-Host: Gabriel Mizrahi

Episode Overview

This episode is a classic edition of "Feedback Friday" where Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi respond to listener letters about deeply personal dilemmas and family drama, offering practical advice and occasionally consulting with expert guests. The featured topics in this episode are especially raw and relevant: parental boundaries concerning teen sexuality, difficult family estrangements, and marital misalignment around life goals. True to the show's ethos, the hosts provide clear, research-informed perspectives—with a signature blend of candor, empathy, humor, and (sometimes) irreverence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Should You Buy Your Teen Daughter a Sex Toy?

Letter [05:15 – 06:48]

• The Dilemma:
  A mother in her 40s, recovering from purity culture, is approached by her 15-year-old daughter who asks if she can buy a masturbation toy. The daughter frames the request as a way to avoid feeling pressure to have sex. The mom, surprised but not opposed, seeks advice on appropriate boundaries and healthy sexual communication.

• Hosts' Initial Reactions [06:48 – 08:20]:

  • Jordan expresses discomfort with weighing in, joking: "There is nothing more cringe than two adult men on a podcast telling a mother whether she should buy her daughter a vibrating pocket rocket from Adam and Eve."
  • Gabriel points out the vulnerability and trust it took for the daughter to ask such a question.

• Expert Input [07:56 – 14:59]:
  Dr. Linda Baggett, clinical psychologist, advises:

  • This mother has already demonstrated "grade A parenting," given her daughter's comfort in approaching her.
  • It is absolutely appropriate, and in fact beneficial, to help a 15-year-old acquire a sex toy under these circumstances.
    • Sexual curiosity and desire are normal at this age.
    • Masturbation allows teens, especially girls, to explore their bodies without risk of pregnancy, violence, or shame.
    • Such openness models that sexuality is normal, pleasure is not shameful, and females are entitled to bodily autonomy.
  • Refusal or shaming could result in secrecy, risky behavior, or use of unsafe alternatives.
  • If it were her, Dr. Baggett “would do it without hesitation” and recommends collaboration: providing information, shopping together if the teen wishes, or helping her choose for herself.

• Boundaries & Guidance [14:02 – 15:41]:

  • Discuss privacy logistics (e.g., private space and time).
  • Decide together if the parent will help shop, provide resources, or simply offer support.
  • Seek age-appropriate store environments (e.g., women-owned sex shops, reputable educational sites like Babeland or Good Vibrations).

• Memorable Quote – Dr. Baggett [09:41]:

  “Allowing a teen girl to explore her own body on her own terms—without the risk of pregnancy, violence, sexually transmitted infection, heartbreak—in my view, is a gift.”

• Caution and Exceptions [12:37]:

  • This advice is specific to the situation described. It would change if the child were much younger, the parent initiated the talk, or there were signs of dysfunction.

• Key Parental Mistakes to Avoid [15:41 – 16:29]:

  • Oversharing, shaming, disrespecting privacy, or pushing an agenda.

• Hosts’ Takeaways:

  • Both express gratitude for expert guidance and admiration for the mother’s courage.
  • Jordan: "There's something sweet and honestly pretty remarkable about a child trusting a parent enough to talk about this..."
  • Final encouragement to parent based on new, healthy values—not from a place of fear or shame.

2. Cutting Ties With a Toxic Family Member

Letter [20:37 – 24:01]

• The Dilemma:
  A listener in their 70s describes their problematic sister-in-law (“Marcia”), who has a long history of entitled financial dependency, verbal abuse, and erratic behavior. After years of lending support, most family members have blocked her, but the letter-writer is now tasked with communicating—concisely but compassionately—that Marcia is no longer welcome in their lives.

• Key Insights:

  • Jordan & Gabe frame Marcia’s behavior as likely due to a combination of mental illness, narcissism, and being enabled by family and her father.
  • Recommend a brief, firm, non-engaging phone call, focusing on conveying information (“We are not interested in a relationship under these conditions, that’s their choice, this is final.”)
  • Do not get drawn into debate, guilt, or argument.
  • After this, enforce boundaries—likely complete cessation of contact.

• Memorable Quote – Jordan [26:47]:

  “The way you’re talking to us, the way you’re behaving, I don’t think you intend it, but it’s actually driving all of us away. And it’s actually gotten to the point that... it is unsustainable to have any relationship with you.”

• Contextual Humor:

  • Numerous quips about Marcia’s financial decisions and absurd phone calls, e.g., “Minus 100 grand and plus one Facebook album full of blurry photos of you and your girlfriend from book club at the Ritz Carlton Waikiki. That’s where you are.” [21:42]
  • Jordan: “Excuse me, can we get another round of $18 margaritas? Yeah, she’s in poverty.” [28:27]

3. Marital Mismatch: Deciding Whether to Have Children

Letter [30:33 – 38:32]

• The Dilemma:
  A woman in her 30s, after several years of a nomadic marriage, finds herself ready to settle, buy a house, and have kids. Her husband’s response to the prospect of children is distant and evasive; recent attempts at honest dialogue (even couples’ therapy) have failed.

• Key Insights:

  • Communication breakdown: Despite years together, they never directly aligned or spoke clearly about marriage, children, or household responsibilities.
  • The wife recognizes her own avoidance in not pressing for clarity, as well as her husband’s tendency to acquiesce to avoid hard discussions.
  • Jordan is unusually blunt, stating he doubts this marriage is viable long-term, especially for raising a family.

• Advice [39:04 – 46:12]:

  • True compatibility requires shared values and vision; both parties must actively participate in honest conversations.
  • Wanting to make an incompatible partnership work often leads to greater pain.
  • Fantasizing about other relationships is a sign of emotional withdrawal and unsustainability.

• Memorable Moment – Jordan [44:11]:

  “This is not a diet, it’s not a gym routine. This is her marriage. This is her life.”

4. The Window Shade Wars: Listener Reactions

[52:14 – 72:43]

A humorous, spirited postbag about the passionate debate over whether window seat passengers on airplanes should be required (or encouraged) to close their shades on overnight flights.

• Arguments For Closing the Shade:

  • Majority of passengers want to sleep or watch movies without glare.
  • Cabin crew often requests it.
  • Leaving the shade open is presented as “solipsistic” (self-centered, unmindful of others).

• Arguments Against:

  • Some passengers enjoy the view, get motion sickness, or have claustrophobia.
  • “If you’re sensitive to light, bring an eye mask.”

• Ethical/Philosophical Framing:

  • Gabe: “How to negotiate the balance between one’s own interests and those of other people when you’re in public. The eternal question.” [64:26]
  • Analogies abound: blasting music on the subway (“Your music isn’t confined to your picnic basket, just like the light from your window is not confined to your seat.” [69:37])

• Memorable Quote – Jordan [63:33]:

  “It’s not just about people sleeping. Watching a movie, reading a book, or even just having a conversation in a dark cabin—all of those also get disrupted when one person opens their window shade.”

• Funny Listener Stories:

  • A “rhinestone cowboy hat” doubled as a disco ball on a plane, causing unintended chaos.

Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• 01:14 Jordan: “On Feedback Friday...we extract our pound of flesh. Or, in my case today, a phlegm from the villains in your letters.”
• 06:48 Jordan: “Okay, Gabe, you take this one. I am out.”
• 09:41 Dr. Baggett (via Jordan): “Allowing a teen girl to explore her own body...without the risk of pregnancy, violence...that is a gift.”
• 14:59 Jordan: “The key to these boundaries is all of this should be both collaborative and honor what you both need and not cause either of you harm.”
• 26:47 Jordan: See above.
• 44:11 Jordan: See above.
• 63:33 Jordan: See above.
• 64:26 Gabriel Mizrahi: “How to negotiate the balance between one’s own interests and those of other people when you’re in public. The eternal question.”

Important Segment Timestamps

• 05:15 – Letter #1: Teen daughter requests a sex toy
• 08:44 – Expert (Dr. Baggett) advice and parental boundaries
• 20:37 – Letter #2: Estranged, entitled sister-in-law
• 26:47 – Sample script for family cutoff conversation
• 30:33 – Letter #3: Marital misalignment around kids/roles
• 44:11 – On redefining the concept of “wife” and marriage
• 52:14 – Listener feedback: Airplane window shade debate
• 63:33 – “Window shade wars” philosophy
• 71:22 – Listener story: Rhinestone cowboy hat on a flight

Tone & Style

• Candid, direct, and sometimes irreverent.
• Balanced with empathy, evidence, and, when needed, professional expertise.
• Frequent use of humor and lighter moments to balance the weight of the topics discussed.

Conclusion

This Feedback Friday epitomizes the Jordan Harbinger Show’s mix of practical advice, candid humor, and nuanced discussion around tricky, often taboo, life issues. The show underscores the importance of open communication, healthy boundaries (in families and marriages), and the willingness to consult experts or rethink inherited values. While certain advice is direct—sometimes uncomfortably so—the underlying aim is always to help listeners lead more informed, authentic, and empowered lives.

For more, including the full expert consultation with Dr. Linda Baggett, details about upcoming guests, and a vibrant listener community, visit jordanharbinger.com.