The Jordan Harbinger Show

Episode 1274: Past Indiscretion Keeps Threatening Profession | Feedback Friday

Date: January 23, 2026
Host: Jordan Harbinger
Co-host/Producer: Gabriel Mizrahi

Overview

This episode of Feedback Friday centers around how a listener’s long-ago criminal record continues to impact his professional opportunities and personal relationships, even as he’s worked to rebuild his life. Jordan and Gabriel dive deep into difficult questions about redemption, second chances, navigating disclosure of sensitive past issues in the workplace, and the recurring patterns that can emerge for people with a stigmatized history.

Beyond the main letter, the episode covers tricky family dynamics around wedding invitations, medical and legal nuances of testosterone therapy and fertility, and the challenge of maintaining motivation and commitment in pursuing career callings.

Tone throughout the episode is candid, compassionate, and practical, mixing humor with hard truths and tactical advice.

1. Listener Letter: Haunted by Past Indiscretion in Professional Life

[02:28] Main Letter Summary

• Letter Writer's Story:
  • At 22, had a relationship with a 17-year-old; went to prison for two years, completed 10 years of parole.
  • Post-release: Began with menial jobs, slowly rebuilt reputation, eventually co-founded a company that's now top-10 in its industry (130+ employees).
  • Key challenge: His past keeps being used against him in business, most recently by a longtime friend and business partner after a personal falling out.
• New Crisis:
  • Partner (influenced, ostensibly, by his girlfriend) offered a hugely undervalued buyout and leveraged writer's criminal past as a threat to force him out, despite having long had knowledge of it.
  • Writer has now lost access to the company, income, and is incurring legal costs.
  • This pattern has played out multiple times over 22 years: customers and partners threaten to expose his past for leverage.
  • Feels demoralized, exhausted, and worries about the cycle repeating as he seeks new work.

Notable Quote

"I just want someone who can appreciate what I bring to the table and isn't driven by greed."
— Listener Letter [06:15]

[07:15] Jordan and Gabriel's Initial Reactions

• Recognition of letter writer’s resilience:
  • "To have your life fall apart...then start a company that becomes one of the 10 largest in your space. I'm sure many will have feelings on this past, but man, rebuilding your life in this way is a huge accomplishment." — Jordan [03:01]
• Acknowledgment of recurring trauma:
  • "The stress and shame that this guy must carry around—I honestly don't know if I'd be able to get out of bed, let alone build a top 10 company..." — Gabe [06:48]

2. Legal & Tactical Advice: Handling Partnership Ruptures with a Criminal Record

[08:00] Expert Legal Input:

Guest Expert: Corbin Payne (Defense Attorney, Friend of the Show)

• Systemic distrust:
  • "Ex-cons are generally viewed with suspicion and a lack of sympathy by the legal system and wider world..."
• Essential recommendations:
  • Never start a business or accept employment without clear, written documentation (operating agreement, compensation details, equity, etc.).
  • Always document understandings via 'CYA' (cover your ass) emails.
  • For current dispute: If partner now claims no agreement, writer may be free to poach clients/employees unless restricted by non-compete clauses.
• Pattern implication:
  • "It would be two-faced for your ex-partner to argue you have no claim to the company but also expect your loyalty and silence."
  • Clients generally stay with people, not entities; with the right relationships, rebounding is possible, though fraught.

Notable Quotes

"Document, document, document. Never again start a business without an operating agreement."
— Jordan citing Corbin Payne [08:34]

"From a legal perspective...it would be two-faced for your ex-partner to argue that you're entitled to nothing, but also expect you to stay loyal to the company."
— Jordan [10:14]

3. To Disclose or Not? Navigating Job Searches with a Record

[12:04] Advice from HR Expert Joanna Tate

• Do NOT proactively reveal your criminal history before an offer.
  • Pre-employment processes such as background checks are regulated (FCRA), and only occur post-offer.
  • Wait until after an offer to bring up the past if necessary.
  • Be factual, brief; don’t supply unnecessary details.
  • Gather positive references (ideally former managers who know your background).
• How to handle background checks:
  • Ask about company hiring standards after receiving an offer.
  • If their policy considers the offense a permanent bar, at least you've made it further in the process than total self-exclusion.
  • Have supporting documents and references ready in case you must explain.

Notable Quotes

"Get the offer, make them fall in love with you, and then deal with this piece of your backstory if necessary."
— Jordan [14:27]

4. Owning the Narrative: Reframing "Mistake" and Breaking the Pattern

[15:20] Full Ownership and Personal Narrative

• Leaning In:
  • If blackmail is recurring, consider pro-active, responsible disclosure.
  • "Sunlight is the best disinfectant...or do you want to walk around with this sword of Damocles hanging over your head?" — Jordan [11:34]
• Reframe language:
  • Defense attorney guest cautions against calling it a "mistake" ("people think accident"): Instead, use clear language about poor judgment and consequences.
• Modeling redemption:
  • Several prior episode guests (Owen Hanson, Joe Loya, Justin Paperni) built flourishing lives by integrating, not hiding, their criminal pasts.
  • "It might be time to lean into that responsibly..." — Corbin (as quoted) [15:20]
• Self-reflection:
  • Explore why the pattern of being exploited keeps recurring. Is it related to trust, conflict avoidance, or self-worth issues stemming from the past?
  • Examine the types of partners/customers you attract, how you protect yourself, and why you avoid agreements.

Notable Quotes

"I wonder if the leverage that people have over him doesn't just come into play when they want to take something from him. I wonder if it's already in the mix on his side of the equation from the moment they begin together."
— Gabriel [19:51]

"Some of the patterns in our lives are informed in part by what we believe we deserve."
— Jordan [19:41]

5. Key Timestamps for Major Segments

• Listener Letter (Record Impact & Business Betrayal): [02:28] – [07:15]
• Legal Side of Partnership Betrayal: [07:15] – [12:04]
• Job Search and Disclosure Strategies: [12:04] – [15:20]
• Extreme Ownership and Life Narrative: [15:20] – [21:00]
• Pattern-Breaking & Self-Reflection: [18:21], [19:51], [21:00]

6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On resilience:
  "Rebuilding your life in this way is a huge accomplishment." — Jordan [03:01]

• On being outed:
  "There's a pattern here of people using his past against him. But that leverage only exists because he's guarding it." — Jordan [11:21]

• On shifting perspective:
  "You can almost reverse-engineer a playbook from [Joe Loya’s] interview for creating a personal narrative that gets people to root for you." — Jordan [18:07]

• On relationship patterns:
  "If you really want to shift these dynamics...you have to work to widen the aperture here so you can appreciate your role in all this, whatever it might be." — Jordan [21:58]

7. Additional Listener Questions Briefly Addressed

[25:43] - Family Wedding Freeze-Out

• Brother not invited to sibling’s wedding due to a conflict mainly involving their fiancées.
• Jordan and Gabriel stress the importance of direct communication over avoidance, noting how family patterns of conflict-avoidance only worsen pain and confusion.
• Jordan's advice: Try to connect, express confusion and desire to repair, but accept boundaries if the other party won't engage.

Notable Moment

"I'm actually deeply weirded out by this. This is like one notch below not visiting somebody in hospice when they're dying because you're mad at them for not lending you their car one time." — Jordan [31:14]

[40:29] - TRT & Fertility Side Effects

• Listener experienced infertility after testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) prescribed without discussing risks.
• Jordan: "Doctors don't always give you the info you need. That is infuriating and irresponsible."
• Tactical suggestions: See multiple specialists, press doctors for full information, consider legal recourse only with strong grounds.

[57:00] - Burnout and Commitment in Career Pursuits

• Letter from a self-described "serial starter" struggling with long-term motivation, wondering if becoming a therapist is different this time.
• Jordan and Gabriel: It's normal for the honeymoon phase in any pursuit to fade; the challenge is in building new habits and systems to endure past the plateau.
• Key insight: Avoiding discomfort or emotional resistance is often the root of "losing steam" in any career or project.

Notable Quote

"You can only learn to commit by actually committing and riding out these waves of inspiration and deflation, excitement and frustration, accomplishment and injury. There's just no other way." — Jordan [71:39]

8. Episode Recommendations & Callbacks

• Relevant episodes for redemption stories:
  • Owen Hanson (#1231), Joe Loya (#1264, #1265), Justin Paperni (#226)
  • Jocko Willink on Extreme Ownership (#608)
• Behavioral science in branding:
  • Recent guests: Richard Shotton & Michael Aaron Flicker (Behavioral Science & Branding)
• Useful tool:
  • "We Bit Wiser" newsletter, under two minutes, practical tips (jordanharbinger.com/news)

9. Key Takeaways

For anyone with a stigmatized past:

• Document everything in business; never rely on informal arrangements.
• In job searches, don’t sabotage yourself by disclosing history before it’s required.
• Consider owning your story rather than letting others weaponize it. Proactive transparency (used thoughtfully) can defuse the threat of blackmail and build trust.
• Reflect on repeating patterns—internal beliefs about deservingness, trust, and avoidance of conflict can perpetuate vulnerability.
• Referencing personal adversity and growth can fuel powerful personal branding (see guests like Joe Loya, Justin Paperni).

For all listeners:

• Avoidance and lack of communication in families cause more suffering than conflict itself.
• Always thoroughly vet medical recommendations, especially therapies with major side effects.
• Lasting commitment to any path comes from tolerating boredom and discomfort—not from riding waves of motivation alone.

10. Listener Engagement

• Write in with your dilemmas at friday@jordanharbinger.com.
• Join the Jordan Harbinger subreddit for episode discussions.
• Check show notes for sponsors and prior episode links.

End of Summary

For a full list of referenced episodes and guest experts, visit the Jordan Harbinger Show website.