The Jordan Harbinger Show — Skeptical Sunday #1275: Incels
Episode Date: January 25, 2026
Host: Jordan Harbinger | Guest: Nick Pell (writer & researcher)
Episode Overview
On this Skeptical Sunday, Jordan Harbinger and writer/researcher Nick Pell dive deep into the world of "incels" (involuntary celibates). They separate popular stereotypes from the sobering—and sometimes disturbing—realities, charting the movement’s evolution, online subcultures, psychological underpinnings, and potential dangers. The hosts bring nuance, skepticism, and a bit of humor to a topic often caricatured in media, exploring what incel culture reveals about modern dating, technology-driven loneliness, and the state of masculinity.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. What Is an Incel? Origins & Early Community (02:38–09:18)
- Definition Roots: The term "incel" means "involuntary celibate" and originated in a gender-neutral, supportive context in the late 1990s by a woman known only as Alana.
- Current Associations: Over time, the meaning shifted from sad or awkward individuals looking for support to a toxic, often misogynistic community with extreme resentment and nihilism.
- Terms:
- Foid/Femoid — a derogatory term for women (04:16)
- Tfw no gf — “that feel when no girlfriend,” originating as a meme (09:00)
- Quote:
"The term incel was coined by a woman in the late 90s who we only know as Alana... She was using it to describe her experience and, you know, presumably other people’s on her blog." — Nick Pell (05:10)
2. Evolution: From Support Group to Toxic Subculture (09:18–16:22)
- Shift in Focus: Early incel communities had elements of support and self-improvement, but over time, failed self-help attempts and resentment led to negativity and toxic groupthink.
- Support Exits: Those who found success or improved left the forums, leaving behind increasingly entrenched and angry members.
- Migration Online: Following bans from Reddit, incel forums and activity migrated to more permissive platforms like 4chan.
- Quote:
"The guys who are upwardly mobile just don’t have much incentive to hang around anymore." — Nick Pell (14:31)
3. Self-Improvement & Looksmaxing (10:21–13:44)
- Looksmaxing: Extreme self-improvement tactics, from workouts to dangerous DIY surgeries like jaw pulverization (10:47).
- Social Skills: Emphasized as more important than mere appearance.
- Example Story: Jordan recounts a high school friend with average looks who succeeded due to superior social skills, or "riz" (12:02–13:04).
- Quote:
"Even if you’re just kind of average looking... if you’re not cultivating social skills alongside it, none of this is probably going to help." — Nick Pell (11:36)
4. The Turn Toward Radicalization & Violence (23:27–32:03)
- Elliot Rodger as a Tipping Point: The 2014 mass killing by Rodger is marked as the cultural turning point where incel identity became closely associated with violent misogyny.
- Rodger is revered by some incels as “the supreme gentleman” or "St. Elliot."
- Rodger's Profile: Well-off, not unattractive, with significant social and psychological issues—his rage not stemming from looks but social maladjustment and entitlement (24:27–26:54).
- Violent Manifestos: Rodger’s writings included plans for concentration camps for women.
- Other Attacks: There have been 12 notable cases of misogynist terrorism worldwide since 1984. The scale is small, but the impact is outsized (30:48).
- Quote:
"He’s actually a pretty good avatar for what we’re talking about because... the only thing keeping him from absolutely crushing it with women is that he had a total lack of social skills." — Nick Pell (24:23)
5. Incel Philosophy, Key Terms, & Attitudes (32:06–39:06)
- Black Pill: A nihilistic worldview where genetics are destiny; improvement is futile unless you conform to a narrow ideal (35:03).
- Chads & Staceys: Stereotypical representations of hyper-attractive men and women whom incels believe monopolize dating (33:17).
- Status vs. Looks: Discussion of how women, unlike men, often value status, charisma, or other non-physical traits.
- Self-Fulfilling Negativity: Emphasis on how embracing the black pill mindset perpetuates failure and loneliness.
- Quote:
"It provides a very simple answer to their very complex pain." — Nick Pell (36:18)
6. Mental Health & Demographics (42:00–49:40)
- Mental Health: Strong overlap with issues like depression, social anxiety, and sometimes autism spectrum traits—though most individuals with such diagnoses do not become incels.
- Survey Data: British Home Office study — average incel forum user is 26; half live with their parents, 25% show autism spectrum traits, 42% are non-white, and most are unemployed or underemployed (43:21–47:32).
- NEETs: (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) — Significant crossover with incel demographics; socially isolated and at risk for extremism (47:53).
- Bullying & Suicidal Ideation: 86% reported being bullied; 1 in 5 experienced daily suicidal thoughts (49:18).
- Quote:
"This is probably the most depressing stat, but 1 in 5... reported having daily suicidal ideation over the last two weeks." — Nick Pell (49:32)
7. Online Escapism, Echo Chambers & Group Psychology (51:30–54:00)
- Forum Dynamics: Many seek solace or vindication in online echo chambers, escalating their belief in a hopeless reality (51:30).
- Algorithmic Rage: Online discourse is exacerbated by platforms that feed rage-baiting and extremist content (52:30).
- Comparison: Incels share psychological similarities with conspiracy communities like QAnon, especially in fatalism, in-group jargon, and perceived lack of agency (53:19).
- Quote:
"Mostly. I think the common denominator is that you have no agency and everything is just fated to happen a certain way." — Nick Pell (53:34)
8. Societal Implications & Solutions (54:00–61:43)
- Broader Crisis: The radical edge of the incel phenomenon is a symptom of the wider “male loneliness epidemic.” The presence of alienated, aimless men in society is a historically significant danger (54:25).
- Real-World Impact vs. Online Posturing: Most incels are not violent; their anger is mainly vented online, but a disaffected minority can cause outsized harm (54:48).
- Recovery & Advice: Success stories exist but are unheralded; practical recovery involves socialization, hobbies, exercise, therapy, and building a sense of purpose. Peer support and even a bit of “tough love” can help (57:51–61:12).
- Quote:
"If you want help, … give them a little tough love, get them to log off and maybe bully them to find some other less antisocial use of their time." — Nick Pell (50:28)
- Jordan’s Takeaway:
"It’s not about celibacy as such. It’s about guys feeling super lonely and pursuing terrible pseudo-solutions in their quest to do something about that loneliness." – Jordan Harbinger (61:34)
Notable Quotes & Moments
- On Forum Bans & Self-Irony:
“I got banned and muted from [Reddit’s ‘small dick problems’] subreddit... That was the most ridiculous response... I think I see the problem that you guys might be dealing with a symptom of.” — Jordan (06:43–07:34) - On Social Skill Importance:
“At the end of the day, you’re still going to have to talk to her. Social skills are, I would argue, more important for men trying to meet women than it is for women trying to meet men.” — Nick (11:36) - On Online Rage Loops:
“The algorithm shows you what you engage with, and what you engage with is probably going to be something that makes you mad.” — Nick (53:10) - On Hope for Change:
"There are ex-incels out there, but you don't hear about them... Because they're almost by definition leading normal lives that aren't really all that remarkable or interesting." — Nick (56:10) - Advice to Listeners:
“If your idol is a mass murderer, maybe it’s time to pick new hobbies.” — Jordan (39:40)
Timestamps by Topic
- [02:20–09:18] — Early incel definitions, support group origins, terminology
- [09:18–16:22] — From self-improvement to toxicity and migration online
- [23:27–32:03] — Elliot Rodger, incel violence, tipping point
- [32:06–39:06] — Incels’ views on dating, the "black pill," group attitudes
- [42:00–49:40] — Mental health, demographics, NEETs
- [51:30–54:00] — Echo chambers and online radicalization
- [54:00–61:43] — Societal implications and what might help struggling men
Final Thoughts
This episode of Skeptical Sunday reveals that the modern incel community is a complex, often toxic subculture borne from loneliness, mental health struggles, and disconnection. While a few have committed violent acts, the larger issue is a growing class of aimless, disconnected men prone to pessimism and rage online. Solutions, though difficult, lie in real-world connection, accountability, and a willingness to face hard truths about agency and change.
Resource Links:
For suggestions or feedback: jordan@jordanharbinger.com
Episode signoff:
“The problem isn’t living in that reality... The problem is when you abdicate agency for how that reality impacts your life and then you start blaming other people for your problems.” – Jordan Harbinger (61:16)