The Jordan Harbinger Show: Episode 1300

As a Cop You're No Stranger to Pal's DV Danger | Feedback Friday

Date: March 20, 2026
Host: Jordan Harbinger
Co-Host/Producer: Gabriel Mizrahi

Episode Overview

This Feedback Friday installment dives deeply into challenging, real-world listener dilemmas, exploring topics from supporting a domestic violence survivor (in a police circle), to grappling with traumatic loss, setting digital boundaries for children, and the emotional puzzle of self-forgiveness. Jordan and Gabriel leverage their signature wit, empathy, and critical thinking throughout, drawing from personal anecdotes, recent research, and thoughtful advice tailored to each nuanced situation.

Key Segments & Insights

1. In-Depth Correction: The Real Story of Semiconductor Manufacturing

Timestamps: 02:30–06:24

• A listener, a semiconductor industry professional, corrects a prior statement about "most chips being made in China."
  • Key Point: Most are made in Taiwan (predominantly TSMC), not mainland China.
  • Quote [03:12, Listener]:
    "No Chinese company is above 5% of the market share…Most [chips] will be manufactured in Taiwan, mostly by TSMC."
  • Jordan affirms the need for crowd-sourced fact-checking and notes the enormous geopolitical importance of semiconductor production and supply vulnerabilities.
• Takeaway:
  The U.S. and China’s ongoing chip war has global ramifications, highlighting the strategic importance of Taiwan.

2. Letter 1: Coping With a Colleague's Domestic Violence (DV)

Timestamps: 06:36–19:49

• Situation:
  A female police officer struggles to support a close friend enduring abusive behavior from her police officer spouse. After sheltering this friend, she faces tension with her own husband about social boundaries, especially if her friend reconciles with her spouse.

• DV in Law Enforcement:

  • Studies show DV rates among police families are significantly higher (20–40%) than the general population (about 10%).
  • Abuse definitions vary—coercive control, not just physical violence, is increasingly recognized.
  • Quote [10:06, Gabriel]:
    "Some of these studies now define abuse more broadly. They include, for example, coercive control... older studies didn't do that."

• Boundaries vs. Support:

  • Jordan & Gabriel stress it's reasonable, not ‘crazy’, to want distance from a potentially dangerous individual—especially one trained and armed.
  • Quote [11:46, Jordan]:
    "Oh, you don’t want a violent, armed man in your house. How unreasonable."

• Friendship, Safety, and Professional Complications:

  • The officers discuss the complexity of confronting abuse inside law enforcement communities—entrenched loyalty, under-reporting, and department culture make it thorny.
  • Advice to the listener includes:
    • Define "supporting a friend"—it doesn’t mean enabling.
    • Respect her friend’s autonomy, but also gently push for dialogue around actual change, safety plans, and therapy involvement.
    • Consider subtle boundaries to protect herself without unnecessarily provoking the abuser, e.g., quietly limiting in-home invitations rather than an overt ban.

• Marital Dynamics:

  • They urge the listener to discuss the impact of her boundary-setting with her husband, noting he may carry resentment from her ending other fraught friendships.

• Memorable Analogy [15:37, Jordan]:

  • Jordan recounts a local murder–suicide to underscore how fast, and unpredictably, domestic violence can escalate—even among civilians, let alone among those trained and armed.

3. Letter 2: Grief, Friendship, and the Case of the Missing Baby Shower

Timestamps: 23:39–47:54

• Situation:
  A new mother, who lost her husband amid her extremely preterm labor and lengthy NICU stay, wrestles with feeling abandoned—especially after a close friend (who otherwise showed unflagging support) failed to throw her a promised baby shower.

• Themes Explored:

  • Complicated Gratitude:
    • The listener’s pain is real, yet her friends (Sadie & Morris) demonstrably showed up during tragedy.
  • Quote [34:18, Jordan]:
    "Based on what you’ve shared with us, I’m getting the picture...very dedicated, big-hearted, solid friends...And I also think that Sadie and Morris, like all people, are not perfect."
  • Emotional Complexity:
    • Jordan & Gabriel dive into the idea of emotional projection—how compounded trauma and a long history of abandonment can fuel disproportionate feelings of resentment towards small slip-ups by otherwise supportive friends.
    • Analogy between expectations ("how much can I reasonably ask of these people?") and the burden friends can realistically shoulder.
  • Advice:
    • Encourage honest—and earlier—communication when needs or resentments arise.
    • Suggest continued therapy work, parsing what pain is truly about the friend versus a life narrative of isolation and being "forgotten."
  • Compassionate Closure:
    • Listener is invited to reach out with gratitude and context, if she wishes to repair the friendship.

• Memorable Phrase [27:55, Listener]:

  • "...my son was the size of a disappointing burrito and he wasn’t expected to make it."
    (Jordan: "Can you not make us laugh while we’re talking about horrible things? ...Because we need it. This is really intense.")

4. Letter 3: Social Media Boundaries for Children—Sharenting, AI & Digital Footprints

Timestamps: 51:23–61:39

• Situation:
  First-time parent wants to set strict boundaries with "Glamma" and other grandparents who overshare baby’s photos, especially with new anxieties around AI, data scraping, and the child's digital legacy.

• Analysis:

  • "Sharenting" is near-universal: Estimates suggest children average 1,300 online photos by age 13. AI models (including those used for surveillance and training data) scrape public photos globally.
  • Quote [54:55, Jordan]:
    "Posting your kids on social media...entails less privacy and less choice. But there are upsides—bonding with family, investing in support, having fun, increasing joy and intimacy."
  • Risk & Nuance:
    • Possible future harms (identity theft, privacy loss) are debated, and most privacy violations relate to parents not adjusting privacy settings or posting in uncontrolled environments.
  • Advice:
    • Emphasizes clear, simple communication:
      "We’ve decided not to post any photos on public social media or third-party apps..."
    • Recommends using invite-only family albums or digital frames as a compromise.
    • Encourages flexibility as parental perspectives naturally shift over time.

5. Letter 4: The Challenge of Self-Forgiveness

Timestamps: 68:56–74:45

• Situation:
  A listener asks how to forgive themselves for past missteps—words unsaid, mistakes with loved ones now gone.

• Discussion:

  • Jordan suggests that, rather than striving for direct “forgiveness,” self-acceptance may be a more attainable and transformative path.
  • Quotes:
    • [70:31, Jordan]: “Acceptance brings us closer to compassion. And compassion can be more attainable and often more productive than forgiveness.”
    • [71:29, Gabriel]: “If I can just forgive this person—or myself—then I won’t have to feel angry or sad or embarrassed..."
  • Advice:
    • Sit with regret and sadness, acknowledging feelings.
    • Use these moments to inform future choices—apologize if possible, act differently next time, appreciate the meaning behind mistakes and their growth value.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Gabriel [17:42] on Black-and-White Boundaries:
  "I wonder if viewing things that way is just easier for her. There's less ambiguity, less confusion."

• Jordan [31:36] on Resentment:
  "She's really tied up in knots. There's so many conflicts here."

• Jordan [39:14] on Friendship Expectations:
  "Sadie and Morris aren’t obligated to be there for her in every way she wants forever. ... But I get why this is the story her mind wants to tell."

• Jordan [44:11] on Grief Narrative:
  "The story she wants to tell is, they forgot me, but the only thing she knows for sure is they weren’t there."

Additional Resources & Recommendations

• Law Enforcement DV Resources:

  • National Center for Women in Policing
  • Badge of Life
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline

• Family Sharing Compromises:

  • Private family photo apps
  • Digital frames (Aura Frames, etc.)

• Free Library Apps (Recommendation of the Week):

  • Hoopla: Instant, no-wait digital borrowing
  • PressReader: Access to global newspapers/magazines

Episode Tone & Style

Jordan and Gabriel are informative, candid, and warm, maintaining their characteristic blend of earnest advice, dark humor, and contemporary pop-culture references. Their dialogue flows naturally, balancing research-based information with accessible, empathetic storytelling.

Key Takeaways

• Setting personal and family boundaries is legitimate, even when fraught with social tension—especially concerning safety.
• Trauma can heighten sensitivity to abandonment; clarity about friends’ limitations and honest communication reduces resentment.
• Digital footprints for children are a rapidly evolving ethical and practical dilemma—values, not just risks, drive parental choices.
• Self-forgiveness often grows indirectly from self-acceptance, compassionate inquiry, and living out acquired insights—not from mental gymnastics or denial.

For in-depth links, referenced resources, and full transcripts, visit jordanharbinger.com.