The Jordan Harbinger Show

Episode Title: BONUS: Do Kin's Red Flags Mean He's Filling Body Bags? | Feedback Friday
Date: October 22, 2025
Host: Jordan Harbinger
Co-Host: Gabriel Mizrahi

Episode Overview

This bonus Feedback Friday is a lively, candid, and occasionally darkly humorous advice show where Jordan and Gabriel tackle listener questions ranging from dangerous family members to existential career moves and relationships shaped by mental illness. Alongside their usual banter—this time infused with travel tales in rural Finland—they explore how to navigate complex ethical dilemmas, relationship endings, career crossroads, and societal grief after public tragedies.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter—Bonus Feedback Friday & Life in Rural Finland

[00:00–10:58]

• Technical Error & Bonus Episode: This Feedback Friday is re-released due to a scheduling snafu.
• Life Update: Gabriel reports from a remote Finnish cabin—no bathroom, just an outhouse, sauna culture, and rural quirks.
• Cultural Oddities: Humorous reflections on outhouses in Finnish winters and Scandinavian hospitality.
• Travel Nostalgia: Memories of impulsive European trips and 90s European high school culture—smoking in class, cross-gender bathroom breaks, and laissez-faire attitudes:
  • “Tell me you’re in Europe without telling me you’re in Europe.” (Jordan, [12:31])

2. Question #1 – “Do Kin’s Red Flags Mean He’s Filling Body Bags?”

[16:44–21:31]

• Listener’s Dilemma: A family member exhibits classic psychopathic traits—hurting animals as a child, threatening violence, serious manipulation.
• Responsibility vs. Agency: The realities and limits of intervention in addressing dangerous behavior in adult relatives.
• Actionable Steps:
  • Documenting troubling behavior as a precaution
  • Reporting present threats to authorities or requesting police wellness checks
  • Accepting the limits of what can be done for adults with antisocial traits
• Notable Quote:
  • “If he's just, like, vaguely, generically creepy, it's a tough place to be. Also, you can't fix this guy. My understanding is that psychopathy is hard, if not actually impossible, to cure.” (Jordan, [19:20])
• Personal Anecdote: Jordan’s mother worked with police to bring justice to her criminal brother, reminding listeners that intervening is draining and often unsuccessful, especially when parents enable bad actors.

3. Question #2 – “Should I Fight for My Marriage If My Brain Won’t Let Me Love My Wife?”

[27:18–37:41]

• Listener’s Story: After an intense love at first sight and early magical romance, the listener’s experience with an SSRI (Zoloft) led to loss of romantic and sexual feeling. He links this to a resurgence of previously managed Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD).
• SPD Overview:
  • Gabriel clarifies that SPD is about emotional detachment, limited social desire, and not the same as schizophrenia.
  • SSRIs may exacerbate detachment, but don't cause SPD relapses per se.
• Marriage Crisis: Listener’s wife is ready to leave due to unmet needs (emotional intimacy, desire for children).
• Advice Takeaways:
  • Respect the wife’s clarity (“She doesn't see a future for us and doesn't think that another therapist will help.” [32:54])
  • Listener should focus on his own self-understanding and therapy
  • Grappling with what is genuine relief vs. coping mechanism exhaustion during their separation
• Notable Quotes:
  • "Part of me wants to fight hard for another chance ... I just don’t know if that’s fair, given my shortcomings." (Listener, [32:54])
  • “If she's literally saying, we have no future, it's not really a choice, is it?” (Jordan, [36:13])

4. Question #3 – “How Do I Move Up—Or Out—Of My Career Without Burning Out?”

[38:22–43:23]

• Listener’s Progress: Doubled income in nursing leadership, paid off almost all debt (adoption costs included), but worries the next rung brings unsustainable stress.
• Career Philosophy: Jordan and Gabriel discuss how high salaries typically demand extra hours and stress, but effective management, delegation, and self-care can mediate this.
• Perspective Shift:
  • The meaning you assign to demanding work (e.g., providing for family, enabling a spouse to be a stay-at-home parent) makes a difference.
  • Exploring alternative income streams or pivots is valid—but so is seeing if you can “climb smarter.”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “They're paying you in part for the life you're giving up. And if that's not a trade off you're willing to make, then maybe that's not your path…” (Jordan, [40:30])
• Conclusion: Make calculated moves, keep options open, and assess if the goal aligns with desired lifestyle.

5. Question #4 – “Why Do We Mourn Public Figures?—The Killing of Charlie Kirk”

[50:57–57:39]

• Context: A listener affected by the assassination of right-wing commentator Charlie Kirk asks why we grieve people we’ve never met and how America can heal in polarized times.
• Sociological Insight:
  • Parasocial relationships: Celebrities and thought leaders become meaningful proxies for values, dreams, and authenticity.
  • “I think because they represent something meaningful to us, because they bring something to us that we can’t get in our ordinary lives…” (Jordan, [54:21])
  • Social media both amplifies and distorts these bonds.
• National Division:
  • Shared mourning (“...underneath our political divides, there’s a common humanity.” [55:34]) can be a unifier, but loss of shared values and core narratives fragments the country.
  • Both hosts express sorrow at the murder—regardless of political alignment.

6. Special Segments

Tangents, Memorable Moments, & Banter

Throughout

• Travel Humor: Gabe’s tales of outhouse survival and the oddities of rural Finland.
• European Exchange Nostalgia: Jordan’s stories of European high schools in the 90s—smoking in class, teachers and students sharing cigarettes, teenagers in clubs with 50-year-old men.
• Parenting “Old Ways:” Giving whiskey to crying babies (!)
• Gabriel’s Recommendation of the Week:
  • The Staircase (Netflix) — a gripping, long-running true crime docuseries following novelist Michael Peterson’s infamous murder trial. “Hands down, my favorite true crime docuseries ever.” (Gabriel, [49:10])

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On dealing with a possibly dangerous relative:
  • “You can't fix this guy. My understanding is that psychopathy is hard, if not actually impossible, to cure.” (Jordan, [19:20])
• On outgrowing relationships due to mental health:
  • “She’s about to turn 35. She wants children, and she told me...she doesn’t see a future for us.” (Listener, [32:54])
• On workplace advancement:
  • “They’re paying you in part for the life you’re giving up.” (Jordan, [40:30])
• On national grief and division:
  • “...underneath our political divides, there's a common humanity. And...that might be one answer to your question.” (Jordan, [55:34])
• On European '90s high school life:
  • “Tell me you’re in Europe without telling me you’re in Europe.” (Jordan, [12:31])

Important Timestamps

• Opening/technical error explanation: [00:00–02:25]
• Gabriel’s Finland adventure: [02:25–10:49]
• European teen culture stories: [10:49–16:22]
• Kin’s red flags (psychopathy question): [16:44–21:31]
• Schizoid Personality/Marriage crisis: [27:18–37:41]
• Nursing leadership/career burnout: [38:22–43:23]
• Grieving public figures, Charlie Kirk assassination: [50:57–57:39]
• Recommendation of the Week (The Staircase): [49:02–50:42]

Tone & Style

• Conversational, wry, and insightful.
• Dark humor used to process heavy topics.
• Candid personal stories mixed with pragmatic and empathetic advice.
• Direct language (“No, super distressing. No one wants to be that guy.” [18:35]) and affirming reminders to listeners (“Love your ambition, love your mindset, and good luck.” [44:09])

Summary for Listeners

If you missed the episode: Jordan and Gabriel field tough, real-world questions about dangerous relatives, love complicated by mental health, and career dilemmas—all while maintaining their trademark blend of empathy, sharpness, and irreverent humor. Along the way, you'll hear wild stories about outhouses in Finland, exchange trips gone awry in Milan, and why sometimes the “biggest love” of your life isn’t the same as the “right” love. The episode closes with a thoughtful reflection on national mourning, parasocial relationships, and the role of common humanity after a public tragedy like the killing of Charlie Kirk.

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