Grindr Makes a Date With AI

Summary

Grindr Makes a Date With AI: A Deep Dive into the Future of Online Dating

The Journal, a co-production of Spotify and The Wall Street Journal, presents its insightful episode titled "Grindr Makes a Date With AI," released on February 13, 2025. Hosted by Kate Linebaugh and Ryan Knutson, with contributions from Jessica Mendoza, this episode explores the intersection of artificial intelligence (AI) and online dating through the lens of Grindr’s latest innovation, the AI Wingman.

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1. Introduction to Pietro Pocora and His Dating Journey

The episode introduces Pietro Pocora, a 27-year-old tech professional from San Francisco, who has been a lifelong Grindr user since the age of 18. Pietro shares his approach to dating, emphasizing his casual dating status following a recent breakup and his self-reflection on what he seeks in relationships.

Key Points:

• Introduction Styles: Pietro prefers starting first dates with a hug, moving away from the traditional handshake to maintain comfort after online interactions. (00:05 - 00:09)
• Dating Preferences: Describes his type as "tall, dark, and handsome," mentioning a preference for "bad boys." (00:52 - 01:03)
• Fantasy Influences: Cites Pedro Pascal as a fantasy figure, reflecting on idealized partner traits. (01:10 - 01:32)

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2. Exploring Grindr’s AI Wingman

Six months prior to the episode, Pietro became one of 10,000 beta testers for Grindr's new feature, the AI Wingman—a chatbot designed to assist users in finding love by providing dating tips, flirting techniques, and personalized advice.

Key Points:

• AI Curiosity: Pietro expresses enthusiasm for AI, stating, "You have to be AI curious in this economy and in this world." (01:46 - 02:10)
• Functionality of AI Wingman: The AI serves as a personal assistant, offering practical dating advice aimed at improving real-life interactions. (09:11 - 09:37)
• Practical Applications: Pietro tested the Wingman by requesting pickup lines, receiving suggestions like, "Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you." (09:37 - 10:19)

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3. The Challenges of Online Dating

The conversation delves into the common frustrations users face with dating apps, highlighting issues such as excessive filtering, time constraints, and the superficial focus on appearances. Pietro identifies filtering as the most significant drawback, describing it as a "time crunch." (04:56 - 05:20)

Key Points:

• User Backlash: Many users express fatigue with the incessant swiping and lack of meaningful connections, with sentiments like "I don’t ever want to swipe again in my life." (05:20 - 06:05)
• Desire for Authenticity: There's a growing demand for more genuine and less time-consuming ways to connect, leading to skepticism about the effectiveness of current dating platforms. (06:05 - 06:15)

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4. The Rise of AI in Dating Apps

Acknowledging the declining engagement on traditional dating platforms like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble, the episode explores how these apps are integrating AI to enhance user experiences. AI is positioned as a solution to revive user interest by making the process of finding compatible matches more efficient and enjoyable.

Key Points:

• Industry Shift: Dating apps are increasingly leveraging AI to retain users by offering more personalized and streamlined matching processes. (06:25 - 07:13)
• Grindr’s AI Leadership: Grindr stands out by pioneering advanced AI features, setting itself apart from competitors through innovative technology. (07:45 - 08:34)

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5. Insights from Grindr’s CEO, George Arison

The episode features an exclusive interview with George Arison, CEO of Grindr, who provides an insider’s perspective on the strategic implementation of AI within the platform.

Key Points:

• AI as a Platform Shift: Arison emphasizes the transformative potential of AI, stating, "AI is a massive platform shift in technology." (13:51 - 14:39)
• Enhancing User Experience: He envisions AI facilitating better matches by analyzing user behavior and preferences, potentially identifying users inclined toward long-term relationships. (14:39 - 15:21)
• Future Features: Arison discusses the possibility of AI not only recommending similar profiles but also engaging in preliminary conversations on behalf of users to streamline the matching process. (15:35 - 16:18)
• Industry Transformation: He predicts that AI will fundamentally alter the landscape of online dating, making interactions more efficient and tailored. (16:31 - 17:00)

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6. The Future of AI in Online Dating: Opportunities and Skepticism

While AI presents promising advancements for dating apps, the episode also addresses the skepticism surrounding its reliability and the potential over-reliance on technology for personal connections.

Key Points:

• User Trust and Reliability: Critics argue that delegating matchmaking to AI raises questions about the authenticity and trustworthiness of the matches. (17:09 - 18:53)
• Market Dynamics: There is a debate on whether AI is a genuine solution to user frustrations or merely a business tactic to boost engagement and revenue. (17:25 - 18:15)
• Long-term Viability: The effectiveness of AI in fostering meaningful relationships remains uncertain, highlighting the need for balanced integration of technology and human interaction. (18:15 - 18:53)

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7. Pietro’s Reflections and Future Outlook

Concluding the episode, Pietro shares his personal experience with the AI Wingman, noting that while it hasn't significantly changed his dating life, it has provided useful insights and suggestions. He expresses a desire for future AI tools to offer more refined filtering capabilities, enhancing his ability to find compatible matches without the overwhelming time investment.

Key Points:

• Personal Use of AI Suggestions: Pietro admits to not using the AI-generated pickup lines in real life but appreciates the creativity they offer. (10:19 - 10:57)
• Future Improvements: He hopes for advancements where the AI can better recommend potential matches based on deeper compatibility metrics. (11:15 - 12:03)
• Current Focus: Pietro remains optimistic about meeting new people and enjoying social activities, such as skiing with friends in Tahoe, rather than heavily relying on app-based interactions. (19:06 - 19:29)

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8. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a reflection on the evolving role of AI in online dating. While innovations like Grindr’s AI Wingman hold potential to revolutionize user experiences, the balance between technology and genuine human connection remains crucial. The Journal underscores the ongoing debate about whether AI can truly enhance the quest for love or if it merely serves as a fleeting solution to deeper societal changes in how we form relationships.

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Notable Quotes:

• Pietro Pocora (00:54): "My type is tall, dark, and handsome. I like a bad boy."
• Pietro Pocora (04:56): "Filtering. It's a time crunch."
• George Arison (13:51): "AI is a massive platform shift in technology."
• George Arison (14:39): "Help me sort that based on, obviously with their consent, based on their behavior patterns."
• Unnamed Speaker (17:09): "There is this sort of hankering, I think, among a subset of users who haven't given up on the apps for AI to bring in something fresh and interesting."

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This comprehensive exploration sheds light on the transformative potential of AI in the online dating realm, particularly through platforms like Grindr. As technology continues to evolve, the balance between innovation and authentic human connection will be pivotal in shaping the future of how we find love.

Transcript

[Kate Linebaugh]

How do introductions work on a first date?

[Pietro Pocora]

Introductions work on a first date. I think introductions. Typically, I'm a hugger, so I start with a hug. Some people go for the handshake and I'm like, no, we've already been chatting. Let's not make this weird, right?

[Kate Linebaugh]

Pietro Pocora is 27 and he's single. He lives in San Francisco and works in tech. What's your dating life like? Right now?

[Pietro Pocora]

I'm like, casually dating. I got out of relationship almost a year and some change ago, and I think that forced me to reflect on what I want in dating and what I'm looking for.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Do you have, like, a type?

[Pietro Pocora]

My type. My friend said this and I was like, ooh, that sticks. My type is tall, dark, and handsome.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Mm.

[Pietro Pocora]

I like a bad boy.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Yeah. Okay. Who is your fantasy person? What do they look like?

[Pietro Pocora]

It's hard cause I'm not really a celebrity, like. And so like Pedro Pascal.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Pedro Pascal, the heartthrob who starred in the Mandalorian, the Last of Us, and also Corona beer commercials.

[Pietro Pocora]

To really embrace life, you just have to learn to let go.

[Kate Linebaugh]

In his hunt for tall, dark and handsome, Pietro mainly uses the LGBTQ dating app Grindr. And about six months ago, Pietro agreed to beta test a new feature on the app.

[Pietro Pocora]

It's called AI Wingman.

[Kate Linebaugh]

AI Wingman, a bot powered by artificial intelligence meant to help its users find love. Pietro is one of 10,000 people who've been given a peek into this unreleased AI technology. So you were AI curious?

[Pietro Pocora]

Yes. Yes. That's a good way to describe it.

[Kate Linebaugh]

All right.

[Pietro Pocora]

You have to be AI curious in this economy and in this world.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Welcome to the Journal, our show about money, business and power. I'm Kate LINEBAUGH. It's Thursday, February 13th. Coming up on the show, the new race on the AI frontier. Love.

[Bell Lynn]

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[Angel Reese]

Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't be? The Angel Reese special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and the drink. It's gonna be a high C for me.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Sound good?

[Angel Reese]

All you have to do to get it is beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel REEF Special at McDonald's now.

[Kate Linebaugh]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time. Pietro has been using Grindr since he was 18. What does your about me say on Grindr.

[Pietro Pocora]

Right now? Yeah, I think I just changed it actually. So it says up in Tahoe for the month of February, need ski buds. And then I say start with a face pic. Big desserts guy. Prefer fit guys and connection, but inquire within. Okay, so this is so like. I'm like. I feel like you're carving into my soul right now because this is. I don't even show my friends this and I just admitted this on a podcast.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Yeah, okay. Okay, let's breathe.

[Pietro Pocora]

Yeah, sorry.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Now back in the dating game. Pietro is remembering the things he doesn't like about the apps. What is the worst part of online dating?

[Pietro Pocora]

Filtering. It's a time crunch. On Grindr, how it works is that you are given a grid and you can see everybody who's around you. And that has really a lot of positives, but a lot of cons as well because everyone can reach out to you, talk to you if you want.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Even though millions of people use dating apps to find romance and hookups, there's been some backlash. Like Pietro. Some people don't like the time commitment. They don't like the slew of getting to know you messages that don't go anywhere. Some people are tired of the emphasis on looks. They just don't feel like dating apps are genuine. And others are ready for something new. And many people have talked about this on social media. I don't ever want to swipe again in my life.

[Unnamed Speaker]

We can all agree that this has to be the worst time to be single, right? Because we're done with the old, we're done with the apps, but we're not in the new yet.

[Bell Lynn]

Just delete it.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Don't download it again. Just be lonely.

[Pietro Pocora]

Just enjoy your loneliness.

[Unnamed Speaker]

If I don't meet anyone out in the wild, so be it. But I'd rather take my chances.

[Kate Linebaugh]

The dating apps are catching these signals and they've been trying to right their relationship with users. Here's our colleague, Bell Lynn.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Dating apps for quite some time since the sort of end of the pandemic, have really struggled to retain the big numbers that they posted when people were stuck at homes and looking for connections and being online and swiping was really one of the best ways to do that. But since then, it's been challenging to keep people glued to their phones when they're really seek in person interactions.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Dating apps like Hinge, Tinder and Bumble have been struggling with declining demand and user engagement. Many younger users have snubbed the apps and companies want to make online dating better, more joyful and faster. Enter AI. Here's the CEO of Tinder at a conference.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And I believe that as much as.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Tinder benefited from the smartphone bursting onto the scene in the 2010s, we can.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Now leverage AI to transform the user experience.

[Kate Linebaugh]

And the founder of Bumble. There is a world where your dating concierge could go and date for you with other dating concierge. No, no, truly. And then you don't have to talk to 600 people. But the app that's done the most with AI, you guessed it, it's Grindr.

[Unnamed Speaker]

They've really sort of come out ahead of the pack in talking about what AI can do. And they're talking about AI agents or bots. And what bots can do are essentially perform tasks or services on our behalf. So whether that's going out and finding a great match for us, or simply saying you should meet at this coffee shop because you and the guy that you matched with both live in this neighborhood and it's convenient for the two of you. So that's the kind of future where AI is basically doing all the hard stuff that you don't want to do. I am fascinated by the fact that they seem to be veering into a very sort of sci fi direction, in which one day, maybe not in the so far future, the apps are integrated with AI in every which way.

[Kate Linebaugh]

If a world where bots match lovers together sounds straight out of Sci Fi, that's because it is. Take this episode of Black Mirror called Hang the dj. In it, an algorithm matches different people in relationships until they find their lifelong partner. My first time on the, you know, with the system.

[Angel Reese]

Me too.

[Kate Linebaugh]

A device pairs couples for fixed periods of time. In this scene, the AI even decides their meal.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Do you know how we order?

[Kate Linebaugh]

I think we use these.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, menu choice already established.

[Pietro Pocora]

Oh, there you are set.

[Kate Linebaugh]

But this sci fi type dating situation is not what the apps are offering. Right now, at least according to Pietro. He's been testing Grindr's AI Wingman for about six months. He says the Wingman is like a chatbot. It can give you dating tips, advice for how to navigate Grindr, and techniques for flirting. And how did you use it?

[Pietro Pocora]

I was mostly interested in dating tips and advice because for me, I want to get better at talking to people in person. Mostly. I think I have pretty good Grindr game, and so I was very curious when they said dating tips and advice to see what they would recommend.

[Kate Linebaugh]

So to help his real life game, Pietro asked AI Wingman to write him some pickup lines.

[Pietro Pocora]

Be bold. I lost my number. Can I have yours? Eh. Get playful. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine apple. Go for humor. Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Whoa. Did you use any of these irl?

[Pietro Pocora]

I did not.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Can you ask your AI Wingman for an opening line if you bump into Pedro Pascal?

[Pietro Pocora]

Okay. An opening line if I bump into Pedro Pascal. They gave me something related to the Mandalorian. Excuse me, Are you lost? Because I'm pretty sure heaven is missing an angel. Or maybe it's just the Mandalorian without his helmet.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Ah.

[Pietro Pocora]

Hey. It's pretty good. Depends on how you cringe. You would find that.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Yeah.

[Pietro Pocora]

Or you could go with, I know you're not really my daddy, but wannabe God.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Do you think you'll use that one? I think.

[Pietro Pocora]

I don't know if I'd go with either of those.

[Kate Linebaugh]

But what Pietro really wants is what he talked about earlier. Help with filtering different profiles.

[Pietro Pocora]

I'm pretty picky and I. I know some people are like, let's just grab a drink and see if the vibe is there. But I think there needs to be a good foundation. Texting and chatting before the date is like the pre date, right?

[Kate Linebaugh]

What do you wish this AI tool could do for you in future versions?

[Pietro Pocora]

I think if I were able to spend less time filtering and it can give me recommendations on people that they think I'd be a good match with, that would be really cool.

[Kate Linebaugh]

To figure out if Grindr's AI Wingman is going to give Pietro the help he needs. We called up Grindr's CEO that's coming up after the break.

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[Kate Linebaugh]

All right, George, you ready for this?

[George Arison]

I am, yes. Looking forward to it.

[Kate Linebaugh]

So can you start by introducing yourself, tell us your name and what you do?

[George Arison]

Sure. My name is George Arison and I'm the CEO of Grindr.

[Kate Linebaugh]

George has been the CEO of Grindr since 2022 and he is also AI curious.

[George Arison]

I believe that AI is a massive platform shift in technology. And, you know, I'm a product guy and I really care about building products that users love and care for. So that's number one. And I think it can do really awesome things for users. Some things that we can't even conceive today, right now as being things that they would want. Right? Like, for example, hey, here are all my messages that are people I've talked to. Help me figure out which of these people might be inclined to be in a long term relationship and which ones might not be. And then, you know, help me sort that based on, obviously with their consent, based on their behavior patterns, based on things that they say in their chats to people, et cetera, who is into relationships and who is not.

[Kate Linebaugh]

How do you see this AI wingman changing the way people date?

[George Arison]

Yeah, so the feature that people want the most is, hey, I really like this profile. Recommend a bunch of other profiles to me that are similar to this. We don't do that yet, but that is definitely the kind of killer feature that a lot of people want. And I've thought about that feature way before people started asking for it, because it was obvious to me that that's something people will want in a pretty big way. Find me the one or find me the ones. Right, like not necessarily the one, but like really highly qualified, highly selected. 10 people or 20 people.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Grindr put us in touch with one of your beta testers, a guy named Pietro, and he said the worst part of online dating and using Grindr is what he described as filtering 100%, that it's a time crunch.

[George Arison]

See, I love that because what I've been just talking to you about is making filtering a lot easier through AI. And a user tells you that's the most annoying part, which is what we want to solve.

[Kate Linebaugh]

So you think Wingman will be able to help Pietro spend less time filtering 100%? Can you have your wingman out there chatting for you with other profile people who then their wingman is chatting back?

[George Arison]

So I've certainly thought about that, and I think that will be happening.

[Kate Linebaugh]

My God, AI's finding your partner for you.

[George Arison]

I think it's almost certain gonna happen. I don't. I mean, forget about Grindr. Like, if Grindr doesn't do it, somebody else will.

[Kate Linebaugh]

How big of a priority is this for Grindr? And is it going to totally transform what the online dating world will look like?

[George Arison]

My hunch is that AI will totally transform what online dating world looks like, but it's going to also transform what every other engagement that people have, online or offline, frankly, is like. That's inevitable. And so that's going to happen. When it's going to happen, I don't yet know and how quickly. But it's going. I mean, it's definitely going to happen at some point. Is it two years, three years, four years, five years? I don't know. So how important of a priority is it? I think it's huge because we can create a way better user experience with AI.

[Kate Linebaugh]

I asked our colleague Bell Lynn if she thinks there's going to be an appetite to pay for AI to play matchmaker.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I think there are a subset of users who are really itching for something better out of their dating apps. And so there is this sort of hankering, I think, among a subset of users who haven't given up on the apps for AI to bring in something fresh and interesting.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Do you think that AI is the answer for dating apps, or is it just an industry grasping for an answer to a business problem?

[Unnamed Speaker]

I think it's a little bit of both from the investor perspective for the dating apps. They're really hoping to see an increase in paid subscriber numbers and user growth and revenue. And AI sort of promises that because there's really not that much else that the apps can sort of turn to at this point. It's really technological innovation that they hope can drive the numbers that their investors are hoping to see. But at the same time, the way that technology is moving, it was only a matter of time until it came for dating apps.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Do you think that AI is going to be the future of dating apps?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, that's. That's an open question. I'm pretty skeptical of the fact that AI is propped up as this sort of. As long as we roll out these certain features and introduce them to our user base, then people will use them. That's a sort of story we've seen before. And it doesn't always end well for AI to take on higher order work. There are big questions over trust and reliability. Do we actually want AI to do this?

[Kate Linebaugh]

As for Pietro, the AI wingman hasn't transformed his dating life, and right now he's focusing on skiing with friends in Tahoe. When's your next date?

[Pietro Pocora]

When's my next date? I don't know. Hopefully sometime soon. Depends on. It's good.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Do you have plans for Valentine's Day?

[Pietro Pocora]

I'm gonna be having a wholesome Valentine, like friend Valentine's Day up here in Tahoe. Make some dinner.

[Kate Linebaugh]

Yeah.

[Pietro Pocora]

Yeah.

[Kate Linebaugh]

The best kind of love. The friend love.

[Pietro Pocora]

Yeah. I think you want to be friends first, right? And then see if there's something more.

[Kate Linebaugh]

That's all for today. Thursday, February 13th. The Journal is a co production of Spotify and the Wall Street Journal. If you like our show, follow us on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. We're out every weekday afternoon. Thanks for listening. See you tomorrow.