The JOY Broadcast with Ali Mortimer

Episode: Festive Joy in Grief with Photography & Self-Love (with Paula Ivy)
Date: December 8, 2025
Guest: Paula Ivy, Photographer & Self-Love Facilitator

Episode Overview

This heartfelt episode features an intimate conversation between Ali Mortimer, the JOY Coach, and her close friend and photography mentor, Paula Ivy. Together, they explore how photography can be a transformative practice of radical self-love, a tool to navigate grief, and a way to truly anchor oneself in the present moment—especially during festive seasons that can feel especially heavy for those navigating loss. The discussion touches on the origins of Paula’s work, the healing power of self-portraits, and the differences between confidence and arrogance in celebrating oneself through imagery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Transformative Power of Self-Photography

• Ali’s Introduction to Paula’s Work

  • Ali recalls first encountering Paula’s iconic beach photograph and feeling immediately drawn to capturing herself with that same aliveness (00:50).
  • She credits Paula for radically shifting her self-image and teaching her to see herself beyond inherited self-criticism and “fugly” (fucking ugly) narratives (07:00).
  • Quote:

    “Your work is not just photography, it is art. Like, breathtaking. It has been truly alchemizing, transformational for me... a radical act of self love.” – Ali [02:00]

• Moving Beyond Selfies to Artful Self-Expression

  • Paula’s “Selfography 30” encouraged participants to move, dance, and capture themselves creatively, igniting self-acceptance and play (06:30).
  • The process helped Ali flip the switch from self-judgment to self-celebration:

    “Suddenly it was...art...I started to see my body...objectively...It was incredibly healing and cathartic.” – Ali [08:18]

• Removing Filters—Inside and Out

  • Paula likens our self-view to a lens layered with filters from upbringing and experience; self-portraiture helps peel those away to see one’s true self (10:20).
  • Quote:

    “You lean in closer and you’re like, holy shit, I am beautiful... All of a sudden you see yourself in a completely new light.” – Paula [09:19]

Photography as Ritual and Embodiment

• Shifting Energy Through Movement

  • Paula incorporates rituals like hair-flipping, dancing, and “shaking out the cobwebs” before photos to ground herself and activate life force (13:00).
  • Quote:

    “I remember who the fuck I am...It’s a ritual for me to get into my body. That’s one of the funnest things I love to teach people...” – Paula [13:30]

  • She highlights the importance of feeling good before snapping photos for authentic results (15:00).

• The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

  • Authentic confidence is “I love me, I’m doing this for me”; arrogance seeks validation from others (15:40).
  • Quote:

    “I don’t need them to tell me I look great. I fucking know I look great because I’m alive and I’m loving it.” – Ali [16:30]

Photography Rooted in Grief and Joy

• Origins in Loss

  • Paula shares how, after her younger brother’s sudden passing at age nine, candid photos she’d taken of him became treasured, feeling more alive than staged family shots (21:23).
  • Quote:

    “Those photos...they’re just so full of life...You look at them and you’re like, that was him.” – Paula [21:28]

  • After his death, she stopped taking photos for a while, but when she began again, it became a practice for presence and a reminder of life’s brevity (25:03).

• Capturing Presence and Sacred Moments

  • Ali and Paula discuss how photography deepens presence, noticing and appreciating surroundings in a deeper way (27:29).
  • Quote:

    “If I want to be in the moment, I get my camera out because it makes me look at the details...You taught me how to see them so differently.” – Ali [26:27]

Finding Aliveness “Where You Are”

• Embracing the Mundane Through Creativity

  • Whether on a snowy day in Yorkshire or a sunny one in Sydney, both have learned to create joy by playing with what’s available, finding fun amidst monotony (32:24).
  • Paula’s advice when it rains: focus in, find beauty (raindrops on the window, etc.), and create regardless (34:00).

• Shifting Perspective

  • Self-photography trains the eye to notice beauty everywhere; aliveness comes through not just in self-view, but in all surroundings (35:35).
  • Quote:

    “The aliveness comes through the way you see everything.” – Ali [35:58]

  • Paula’s favorite word currently: “linger”—to slow down and savor the moment (36:03).

Thoughts on AI Photography & Authenticity

• Debating AI “Photo Shoots”

  • Paula is pro-AI for some tasks, but opposes calling AI-generated images “photography” or “photo shoots” (36:35).
  • Quote:

    “It’s not a photo shoot and it’s not a photo...There just needs to be a different term for it because it’s not the same thing.” – Paula [40:33]

  • She argues that true photos contain an “electricity”—a human-to-human connection—that AI cannot replicate (41:00).

• The Importance of Printing Photos

  • In an era of deepfakes and digital manipulation, tangible prints gain more meaning; they capture the truth and history of our lives (42:50).
  • Quote:

    “Printed photographs...that truth almost...it’s the history, it’s the past that I’ve had or you’ve had, and it’s here.” – Paula [43:44]

Festive Joy, Rituals, and Remembrance

• Contrasts in Holiday Traditions
  • Paula paints a vivid picture of an Australian Christmas—beach mornings, cocktails, heat—and reflects on how joy can look wildly different around the world (44:43).
  • Ali recounts wintry, sometimes snowy, UK holidays, emphasizing the importance of commemorating lost loved ones through rituals and looking at old photographs (46:43).
  • Quote:

    “If anyone has lost someone that they love...the photographs...I always get the photographs out of my mum on any special event.” – Ali [46:43]

  • Ali celebrates her mother's legacy with small “rituals” like exchanging gifts in her honor (46:59).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-love through photography:

  “Art photography has now become a radical act of self love. Because I look in the mirror and go, oh my God, you look great today. You look really hot. Oh my God. Who is this person looking at me in the mirror?” – Ali [08:48]

• On why being seen matters:

  “People get drawn to you...when that life force energy gets switched on, and there’s this glow that happens...” – Paula [11:28]

• On presence through photography:

  “When I take photos, it brings me into the moment even more, makes me feel so present, so connected to life...like a portal.” – Paula [23:02]

• On the holiday season and remembering loved ones:

  “One of the biggest things I always do, she [mum] always leaves me a gift under the Christmas tree...and you know what? I always buy her a gift...that is brilliant. I love that.” – Ali & Paula [46:49]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ali’s powerful introduction to Paula: [01:00]
• The turning point: Ali's healing journey through photography: [07:00-08:48]
• Paula on the "light switch" of self-acceptance: [09:19-10:20]
• The ritual of energetic movement before photography: [13:00-15:02]
• Distinguishing confidence from arrogance in self-portraits: [15:02-17:35]
• Paula shares the grief story of losing her brother and its impact: [17:35-25:28]
• On being present and shifting perspective via photography: [27:29-32:24]
• Linger, savor, and notice the world’s beauty: [35:58-36:25]
• Why AI photography is not the same as real photography: [36:35-41:00]
• On printing photos and preserving real memories: [43:44]
• End-of-life rituals and commemorating loved ones: [46:43-47:05]

The Episode’s Tone & Takeaway

Raw, vulnerable, and warmly humorous, this conversation is both a gentle encouragement to seek out beauty in unexpected places—even amidst grief—and a rallying call for radical self-acceptance through self-expression. Ali and Paula’s easy, affectionate banter brings the episode to life, offering listeners tangible ideas for creating joy, presence, and connection, especially during challenging seasons.

For listeners:
If you’re feeling lost, wanting to reconnect with yourself, or simply looking for innovative ways to savor life’s moments, this episode beckons you to pick up a camera—and see yourself and your world anew.