The JOY Broadcast with Ali Mortimer

Episode Title: Festive Joy of Soul Healing with Denny Devine
Date: December 1, 2025
Guest: Denny Devine

Overview

In this heartfelt and uplifting episode, Ali Mortimer “the JOY Coach” welcomes her close friend and soul healer, Denny Devine, to explore the emotional landscape of Christmas and the festive season. Together, they discuss how to find calm and connection amidst the chaos, let go of perfectionism, and create new, genuine traditions. This episode dives into soulful healing, mindful awareness, and rituals that help us move from overwhelm to joy—especially relevant during what is often a stressful, emotionally charged time of year.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Light and Dark of Christmas

• The cultural expectation is for Christmas to be “glittery and joyful,” but Denny points out it coincides with the darkest part of the year, the winter solstice, a time traditionally for hunkering down (03:44).
• Both hosts reflect on their own "dark nights" and agree that joy and healing often require journeying through darkness.
• Ali: “Sometimes it's not just as easy as turning on the light because you can't find the light switch. So sometimes you need a little bit of help.” (05:24)

Facing the Darkness and Finding Jewels Within

• Denny shares how fear of what lies in the shadows keeps people from exploring their pain, but emphasizes that “when you do lift the edge of the carpet... you might actually just find the gems because that's...it, isn't it—that the light, you have no idea what you're going to find.” (07:04-08:10)
• Ali: Uses personal grief (her mother's passing) to illustrate life as a mix of “a handful of diamonds and...a handful of [pain],” highlighting that awareness—not avoidance—is key.

Awareness as the Pathway to Joy

• Both agree that the first step is awareness: “Awareness is the first tool.” (10:10)
• Christmas can feel like a “hamster wheel,” leading to overwhelm and autopilot behavior.

Permission to Break Traditions and Set Boundaries

• Denny discusses the anxiety around changing family traditions: “What comes up around that is how is everyone going to respond to this? Will I still be loved?” (11:01)
• Creating new traditions can relieve pressure and make space for authentic connection.

The Trap of Perfectionism and the Power of Authenticity

• The myth of the “perfect Christmas” is challenged: focus on feelings and memories, not flawless execution.
• Ali: “What is the perfect Christmas? ...The perfect Christmas is probably more of a feeling, right?” (12:22)
• Both share stories where imperfection led to the most memorable, joyful Christmases.

Gratitude, Receiving, and Gift-Giving

• The pressure of giving and receiving presents is discussed with humor and empathy.
• Ali: “Just be grateful that they've got you something. Thought about it. Don't deny them that opportunity to give you a gift.” (15:31)

The Importance of Checking In with Your Body and Senses

• Denny offers a practical tip: pause and check in with your senses to identify what feels good, what feels pressured.
• “Just take a pause. What is that feeling? Don't add a story. ... Let the answer come, because it always does when you take a moment of stillness.” (19:41-20:20)

Boundaries, Self-Care & Not Being the Family “Glue”

• Denny explains her evolving role in family gatherings—stepping back from being the one who holds everything together and letting others contribute (21:01-23:43).
• Her experience with an autism and ADHD diagnosis empowered her to enforce boundaries for self-care.

Vulnerability as a Bridge to Joy (Brené Brown reference)

• Ali shares: “Vulnerability is the pathway to joy. ...When you’re vulnerable and you open yourself up to space... joy’s on the other side because actually, it doesn’t kill you.” (28:47)
• Embracing imperfection and saying “no” is part of being vulnerable and real.

Rituals and Practices for Staying Grounded During the Festive Season

• Denny shares her daily meditation and cacao ritual. She forgives herself when she can’t keep it up perfectly during busy times: “Forgiveness for myself when my practices don't fit into what's a busy time is definitely at the forefront of my mind.” (31:18)
• The hosts discuss the power of “shedding the shame” and offering oneself grace, introducing the “havening” self-hug as a grounding tactile practice (34:10-34:51).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ali: “Sometimes it's not just as easy as turning on the light because you can't find the light switch. And so sometimes you need a little bit of help.” (05:24)
• Denny: “The awareness is the first step. Because without awareness, you're just...on the hamster wheel.” (10:10)
• Ali: “The perfect Christmas is probably more of a feeling, right? ...my favorite Christmases...is when it was so imperfect...” (12:22-13:41)
• Denny: “It's not my sole job to be the glue in the family...no, I'm not doing that anymore.” (21:01-23:43)
• Ali: “Am I loving being the glue? Does it bring me pleasure and enjoyment to be the glue? Or actually, am I now martyring myself?” (24:26-25:00)
• Denny: “What kind of glue do you want to be this year? ...My goal is to be a little bit like Pritt Stick, because it doesn’t really hold anything on.” (26:56-27:02)
• Ali: “Vulnerability is the pathway to joy. ...the minute you're vulnerable and you open yourself up to space... joy's on the other side.” (28:47)
• Denny: “Forgiveness for myself when my practices don't fit into what's a busy time is definitely at the forefront of my mind.” (31:18)
• Ali: “I shed the shame. I give myself grace. ... You just repeat it until I feel my shoulders drop...” (34:10)

Practical Takeaways & Suggested Practices

• Pause for Awareness
  Take brief moments—no need for a full meditation—to check in with your body and sense what you feel, especially when overwhelmed (19:41-20:20).

• Set Boundaries Gently but Firmly
  If hosting isn’t serving you, change plans or ask others to participate. Remember, you’re not the only “glue” in the family (21:01-23:43).

• Let Go of Perfection
  Embrace the imperfect; often, these are the moments that become the most treasured memories (12:22-13:41).

• Invite Vulnerability
  Allow yourself to say “no,” ask for help, or step back. Vulnerability can open space for true joy (28:47-29:48).

• Forgive Yourself and Others
  If you falter, forgive yourself. Use grounding touch (like self-havening) and repeat grace-giving affirmations (34:10-34:51).

• Define How You Want to Feel
  Before the season begins, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel this Christmas?” and make choices with that feeling as your compass (27:12-28:11).

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ali’s Introduction and Denny’s Spiritual Background – 00:01–03:44
• Christmas: The Light and the Dark – 03:44–07:04
• Finding Gems in Darkness; Lifting the Rug – 07:04–10:10
• Awareness and the Festive “Hamster Wheel” – 10:10–12:22
• Letting Go of Perfection, Embracing Realness – 12:22–15:35
• Gratitude, Presents, and Receiving – 15:35–16:21
• Stories of Chaotic, Memorable Christmases – 16:21–18:46
• Denny’s Advice: Checking In With Your Body – 19:41–21:01
• Setting Boundaries and Changing Roles in Christmas Hosting – 21:01–24:26
• How to Tell If You’re “The Glue”—Self-Awareness and Martyrdom – 24:26–27:12
• “What Kind of Glue Are You?”—A Lighthearted Discussion – 26:56–27:12
• Making Space for Vulnerability and Joy (Brené Brown) – 28:47–29:48
• Intentions, Rituals, and Grace During the Holidays – 31:00–32:38
• Forgiveness, “Shedding Shame,” and Havening Exercise – 34:10–34:51
• How to Connect with Denny Devine – 35:11–35:32

Closing

This episode wraps warmth, honesty, and practical wisdom into a supportive guide for anyone navigating the festive season. With soulful stories and actionable advice, Ali and Denny encourage listeners to embrace both the light and the darkness, celebrate imperfection, and reclaim the holidays as a time of genuine joy and connection—inside and out.

Connect with Denny Devine

• Instagram: @feelgoodwithdenny
• In-person workshops and online offerings (details in show notes)

“The ripple of joy starts with you.” – Ali Mortimer (36:02)