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- [00:00]
A
Turns out the average US adult spends around five hours a day on me time, screen time. So not working on business stuff, not checking emails, just mindless scrolling. Now, if I were to replace the word phone with the name of any illegal substance in what I just told you, I would sound like an addict with a serious problem and a need for intervention. But it took a little bit for me to realize this. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Kate Show. Today I'm kind of taking a little turn from hardcore marketing to talk to you about something that will definitely impact your marketing and probably every other area of your life, because I know it has for me. I'm going to talk about time. The real reason we as American entrepreneurs simply don't seem to have enough time. Like we need to create more hours in the day or something. But I just wonder if perhaps there's something else going on. So maybe you're like me and you feel stretched very thin and you feel like you just don't have enough time for, I don't know, you don't have time to market your business, you don't have time to clean your house, you don't have time for something. There is something in your life that you keep thinking, I'll get to that, I'll get to that, I'll get to that. And you never get to that. You know what I mean? Okay, so when we run into this situation in business, especially our first inclination is that, okay, I need to find an automation tool to do it faster or I need to question whether it actually needs to be done at all, or I need to outsource it to another human. Now, none of those are bad options to consider, actually, and they're pretty good viable solutions. However, there is a greater overarching question that you and I need to answer first. And it makes me uncomfortable just looking at this in my notes. The question is, how is your screen time? How many hours are you spending on your phone that are not related to work? Because I, I don't want to sound preachy and I don't want to give the impression that I'm somehow better, smarter or more self disciplined. So I'm just gonna go full max on this one with transparency. I'm always telling my husband that I am spread too thin, that there isn't enough of me to go around and that I don't have time to do all the things I want to do or need to do. And you know, it's true. My life is very full right now and I'm just going to give you some context as to what that looks like. So we have a six year old who goes to private school and it's kind of a commute, so it's about two hours of driving every day. Once we go there and back to twice. Plus she has homework pretty much every night and dance team practice with performances, piano lessons, art fairs, you know, the. All the things. And then we have a 3 year old who just started 3k at the same school, but his pickup time is different so that's an extra drive in. So again, more driving around. And then we also have a baby who at the time of this episode airing is almost eight months old. And he's home with me full time just like his siblings were at this age. And I thought I was short on time before, but now, sheesh. Like, wow. I have to say I'm very grateful. My husband is hands on with everything. He is my true partner in life and in crime because he runs the business with me, he takes care of the boys often, daddy daycare is in full swing and he's usually the one who's doing homework with our daughter every night and, and he does most of school drop off and pick up. So, you know, not too bad. I'm. I'm very, very blessed with him. But this brings me back to my earlier question. Okay, if not for lack of support, then what is eating up time? How is my screen time? Well, as it turns out, the average US adult spends around five hours a day on me time. Screen time. So not working on business stuff, not checking emails, just mindless scrolling really. And while my non business screen time was not that high, even an hour a day adds up because that's 30 hours a month. I could have been doing something else, like not complaining about how I don't have any time. And this is particularly convicting to me because I tend to get addicted to anything I like, such as chocolate or podcast or lattes or funny sitcoms and apparently maybe sometimes my phone. But here's how the phone addiction or the screen addiction tends to be different. And you got to tell me, if this is anything like what you've experienced, I will reach for my phone and unlock the screen even if I haven't gotten any notifications. Now I literally just got a notification while I'm recording. Funny how that works. But it's like instinctual at this point and I don't like that. I also don't like that if I forget my phone at home and I'm headed out somewhere, I feel anxious. Why on earth should I Feel anxious. It's a phone. And when I finally have a quiet moment at the end of the day, usually about 8pm after the kids are in bed, I can't wait to do a little bit of scrolling. Now, if I were to replace the word phone with the name of any illegal substance in what I just told you, I would sound like an addict with a serious problem and a need for intervention. But it took a little bit for me to realize this, because it's not like I'm spending 12 hours a day on the phone. But who says one hour is any better? Now, that said, running an online business means I do have a lot of screen time, mostly on my laptop. But I'm also answering client emails and chatting in Slack from my phone. And this has left me asking, is my phone a helpful tool or a pint size dictator? And I'm just not willing to let my device become my vice, you know what I mean? Okay, so I'm going to share with you some of the changes that I've implemented and maybe some of it will be helpful to you. Maybe not. So I have a daily 5 minute timer on my Facebook app. I just have a personal Facebook. Not a lot happens on there, but I like to check it every so often. And I have a daily 10 minute timer on YouTube, usually because I like to scroll through YouTube reels or shorts or whatever they're called now as a way to wind down. And that also tells me I should probably find another way to wind down. Maybe read a book. Right? We should all read more. I have also removed and refused to download any other social media apps. So no Tik tok, no nothing. Nothing at all. I don't have social media for my business. You guys know that. So at least I'm not distracted by that. And this is a different one for me. This one is actually hard. I no longer listen to podcasts during the workday. It has to be after 8pm because otherwise my head is not very clear and I can't focus as well and be as productive. And what I realized through all of this searching and just looking objectively at my own schedule is that I have no right to say that I don't have enough time if I'm spending time on my phone. Plus, I do like how my brain seems to be running at a higher level with less screen time. And most importantly for me, I'm. I'm trying to be a good example for my kids. For example, we gave my daughter a tablet for her last birthday and it has like four apps on it. They're all educational. I went through and ruthlessly deleted everything else, including YouTube for kids. And then I put a 30 minute daily time limit on the entire device. Now, my daughter was obsessed with the idea of having a tablet, you know, the forbidden fruit syndrome. And my husband wisely suggested that we get her a tablet so that we could teach her how to use moderation and practice self control rather than never giving her any screen time only to watch her binge like a crazy person the minute she turned 18. Now it's a working theory, as in, I hope it works. I think it will because now she barely touches the tablet, so. So it's no longer forbidden fruit. And she doesn't get all that upset when her time runs out either. This leads me to another point. What are we going to do when our time runs out? Like big picture thinking, we all have only a certain number of days on this planet. And with all the things that we are trying to stuff into our daily schedules, what are we aiming for? Are we aiming for success or significance? This is a question that's really been bugging me because I am celebrating 12 years in business and you know, in February 2014 is when I started. And during this whole time, obviously success has been the goal. But as I get a little bit more mature, like just in my personal life, in my walk with God and in business, I'm realizing that significance is so much more important. Because success says that productivity and profits matter the most, significance says that impact and results matter the most. And I can guarantee that what most of us do with the majority of our screen time is neither successful nor significant. And that's super convicting for me. But it's about more than just screens. It's. It's about our reason for being in business and really our purpose for being alive. Because success says that awards matter. Significance says that memories are more rewarding. Successful businesses aren't bad, but significant businesses are the stuff of legacy. Ironically, legacy businesses are always rooted in the family and the relationships surrounding it. So without those relationships being prioritized, the legacy simply won't endure. This is a concept that I have at the front of my brain as I go into 2026. And this is why I stopped working into the midnight hours. I stopped squeezing in just one more meeting or task into my schedule. And this is why I'm realizing that it's okay to plan my week ahead and stick to the plan and it's better to not over commit. I am a slow learner in those categories. I'm Sorry. This is why I'm trying to be so intentional about my decisions rather than pondering my options for too long for any given decision, or second guessing a decision I've already made, or overthinking, or letting my emotions make the judgment calls. Like, there are some days where I know I will not be a good decision maker. So I do either delegate the decision to someone else or I just stop thinking about it for a while. Because that spinning that we tend to get caught up in, especially as female entrepreneurs, is not, not helpful. Now, it's easier said than done. And, and this is why I ask God for discernment and wisdom, because he does give that wisdom. And the Bible says very clearly that if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God. Or in this case, she should ask God. And he will give it. And he does. Now, sometimes he gives that to me through what I'm reading in the Bible or through people closest to me, often through my husband. Sometimes it's hard to take advice from our spouses, and it really shouldn't be. Um, but for me, I. I often. Again, I learn the hard way and the long way. But what it all comes down to is this. I don't want to leave this world knowing that I created a successful business. I want to enter into the next life hearing the words, well done, good and faithful servant. Which means that my life on this earth had the significance that God always intended for it to have. Now, this doesn't mean I stop working hard in the business. It doesn't mean that I stop doing what I can to accommodate clients. And occasionally, you know, okay, I'll fit you in my schedule. But it does mean I stop grinding away at the busyness. Because as my husband likes to ask about pretty much everything these days. To what end? To what end? All the screen time, all the packed schedules, to what end? Because there will always be more. It will never actually be done unless you say it's done. And at the end of the day, if we want to know what our priorities are, well, they aren't the things that we think they are, but actually the things we spend the most of our time doing. So, in thinking through my own life, I have come to this conclusion. The real reason we don't have enough time is because we're focused on the wrong goals and we've given higher priority to lesser important things. Okay, on this note, I'm going to show you two different clips from someone else's podcast that summarize all of this in a way that I just can't and it's also the two clips. That's what inspired me to make this episode. So I hope that after seeing the clips, you guys go watch the entire episode from this other podcaster. But this other podcaster is someone that I deeply admire and respect. His name is Mike Novotny and he is actually the pastor who officiated my wedding and he is the main host of the Time of Grace television program, which airs on local cable TV. It's on Spotify and it's on YouTube. And his recent series entitled no More Mediocre Me is spot on. It's enlightening and it's so encouraging and I think you'll really enjoy it. So. So we're going to watch some of it together right now. If you're just listening on Apple podcasts or you don't watch the video version on Spotify, you're still going to get a lot of value out of this. All right, so here is Pastor Mike Novotny.
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Isn't it true that once you pull out the phone, the world disappears? You forget who's in the room? You forget what matters more. There's just something, the brain chemistry of it is magnetic that it's so easy to, like, not hear words or remember the precious souls in the room. With us today. I wonder if God is trying to remind us, like, just put down the phone and think of what matters most. Would you agree with me? Today, people matter way more than screens. That if screens become the way that we connect with people, establish really deep, beautiful relationships, praise God. But if somehow those screens get in the way of profound connections with people, they have become a problem in our lives. You know, I thought of that five to six hours a day for the average American, five hours a day times 365, I think is 1,825 hours a year. Can you imagine? Can you imagine what kind of relationships you could have with an extra 1825 hours a year? Like if your mom wishes you called more, can you imagine with 18 hours a year how you could connect with her and fill up her cup? If you're married today, can you imagine the kind of rock star marriage you could have with 18, 25 hours? My wife's not in the service. I would be like the best husband that has ever. How many things on her list would I get done? How many heart to heart conversations would we, how many back rubs could I give that woman? How many errands could I run?
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I mean, we could.
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I could be the best husband in this room right now. With 1,800. And my kids and my friends like, wow, if I could just use half of that time, a quarter of that time. I bet if you used a tenth of that time to deepen your most important relationships, you would not regret it.
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Today.
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God wants us to think what matters more. Every time I think about screens, I think about this.
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Okay, guys, this is the part that just got me. So if you have kids, prepare yourself and grab a Kleenex.
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I've ever showed you this before. So I have two teenage daughters. And when our daughters, Brooklyn and Maya were really little, I bought these two jars. And on the inside of the COVID this is my oldest daughter's jar, is a note with the high school graduation date, my kid. And from the time I got the jar, I put in one marble for each week until that date. And I promise you, it was yesterday when there were this many marbles in the jar. I counted yesterday, 68 Sundays left until my firstborn kid graduates. And you parents of college students can tell me if I'm wrong. But I have a hunch when we drop Brooklyn off, say goodbye, give her the biggest hug in the world, and get back in the car. Kim and I are not going to say, I wish we would have watched more soccer. I wish. Why did we talk to that kid so much? We should have just streamed another show. Now I have a hunch the principle of Jesus is going to punch us in the throat that some things matter so much more. We think we have all the time in the world with our kids, our parents, our significant others. But time flies and people die. And Jesus today is reminding us that there is a banquet, that there is a better blessing. Don't be so caught up in a lesser thing that a month or a year or a decade goes by when you miss out on something that means so much more.
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Yeah, so talk about keeping the main thing. The main thing. Like, if that message resonates with you, you need to just go watch his entire sermon on that. And the cool thing about Pastor Mike is his sermons are super easy to listen to, as you just heard, and that's how every single one of them is. And he also tackles really tough questions, by the way. So even if you're spiritual but not religious and you just have a lot of questions, he. He tackles things that most people would be scared to ask. All right, I'm going to show you one other thing from him because it just goes along so perfectly with what we're talking about today.
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Service that will change there. There's sometimes in Life. When you have a new kid, if you're an accountant, during tax season, if you're a pastor, during Christmas or Holy Week, when you're a teacher and it's a brand new school year, that there's just some seasons of life, the end of year accounts where it's just going to be crazy busy. That is what it is. But a season, please hear me, a season, by the very definition of the word is seasonal. So my bigger question is, how is it that so many of us haven't just been busy for a season, you know, while the kid was in diapers, while it was the big push at work. How is it that for a lot of us it's not temporary but, but constant busyness? If you're taking notes here at home, I've come up with three reasons that kind of explain how we end up here. I'd love for you to write these down. Some of you are constantly busy simply.
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Because of these reasons are so good.
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Perfectionism. You haven't used the phrase it's good enough, guilty. Since 2004. You're the kind of kid that when you got a 97 on your test, you would find out what you got wrong and stew about it for the rest of the day. There are 97 things to celebrate. You found the three of them that were wrong. If you're the kind of person that just, ah, you can't deal with the A minus or the B or the so, so effort, you can never like, check it in for the sake. It just has to be great. It has to be impressive. You're allergic to the red pen and the imperfection that will push you and push it like a treadmill. It never slows down. And so you're constantly busy because something could always, always be better. You could always check your homework again. I can always practice a sermon again. You could always return one more work email or connect with one more client or help one more person. If it has to be perfect, you hold yourself to a standard that you'll never reach. It's exhausting and it pushes you and pushes you and pushes you and never lets you sit, pause or rest. Maybe for some of you it's not perfectionism, it's number two, people pleasing. Some of you haven't looked someone in the eye and said, this is interior.
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Designers, by the way, people pleasing in the last year, wonderful.
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Some of you like helping and making people happy so deeply that even though you're stressed, even though everyone knows that you're stressed because they see that you're Stressed. As soon as someone acts like there's a reverse weight in your hand, it's like your hand doesn't abide by the laws of gravity. The pastor needs someone to volunteer, and no one wrote their name on the.
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Sheet that's in his hand, by the way.
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Yep. Can you help with this? Someone asked. And before you can even think about it, pray about it, or ask for advice about it, both hands are up. You just can't.
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Ah.
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It just feels wrong. It feels unchristian to you. It feels selfish. It feels you just have to make everyone happy in your life, and so you end up. Because there's a lot of people who need a lot of things, you end up incredibly overextended and crazy busy. Or third, maybe for some of you, the problem is your God complex.
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Yep.
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Man, I know and love some people.
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Who struggle with this is also me guilty.
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They know they're busy.
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This is huge.
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We know they're busy. So why don't they step back and stop being busy? Because they think if I didn't do this, what would happen? If I stepped away from volunteering this much, what would happen to this program, this cause, this nonprofit, if I didn't skip every workout and go through the drive through for every single meal, if I didn't cut back on my own prayer life to, like, keep this thing going? How would the organization, the ministry, the church, the school, the family tradition, like, no one's stepping up to? I would love to step back. Someone would step up, but no one's stepping up. So I can't step back. And you think, I got to save this. I. I got to sustain this. The world will be worse without this. So what am I supposed to do? And with that kind of thought, you just stay stuck in constant business.
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Every entrepreneur says this.
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Does that explain the way that you live your life?
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Yep.
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Do one, two, maybe all three of those things apply to any of us here today? Does it help explain why you've been so busy recently? If so, what do we do? Well, the simple answer is this. We turn to our Father in heaven.
- [23:15]
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Okay, so guys, he continues to go through and provide solutions for each of those three issues. The perfectionism, the people pleasing, and the God complex. It is so worth listening to or watching. Oh, my goodness. Like, I just feel so seen and heard. But I wanted to share that with you because you guys, a lot of you are like me, type A, very driven, very perfection oriented to the point where it's almost. It is harmful to ourselves and even to people around us. And we just gotta let go. We just gotta let go and let God. Now you may be like, yeah, I didn't sign up for a sermon today, but I did actually show you a sermon. So, you know, sorry, not sorry. This is something that every human needs to hear. Even if you don't agree with it, there might still be something you can take away from it and apply to your life and make it better. So this is an episode where we're not diving into the granular bits of marketing. We are looking at big picture. How do we create more time, how do we use our time more wisely and how do we keep the most important things, actually the most important. It is really easy in our fast paced society to get the priorities all screwed up. And I don't want to arrive at the end of my time on this earth and regret so many things. Just like I'm sure you don't. You don't want to regret things on your deathbed. Like, oh, really wish I would have spent more time with my kids. I really wish I hadn't been so focused on the next project, the next client, the next whatever. I really wish I would have just taken more time to invest in those around me. So I don't want that to be my regret. I don't want it to be your regret. And when I heard these two sermons, I was like, oh, I gotta shoot these with my audience because this is going to help somebody out there. I know it will. So if this helped you, email me because I would love to empathize with you and, and support you and support each other in this journey to keeping the main thing. The main thing. All right guys, until next time, keep your marketing simple, keep your message clear, and please keep the most important thing at the top of your list. Bye. It.