Audience Questions | Ask Me About Shrimp

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Audience Questions | Ask Me About Shrimp
Release Date: May 31, 2025

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1. Engaging Story with Jennifer Lawrence ([01:07] - [02:40])

In one of the episode's standout moments, Stephen Colbert shares an amusing and candid anecdote about an evening spent with actress Jennifer Lawrence. When an audience member asked about his experiences taking a drink at the back bar, Colbert reminisced:

"Jennifer Lawrence was on the show a long time ago, back in 2017... She really didn't want to be here. But contractually she had to be here." ([01:11])

Colbert humorously recounts how their casual conversation led to drinking multiple shots of rum, resulting in both of them becoming quite inebriated. This lighthearted story not only showcases Colbert's rapport with celebrity guests but also his ability to inject humor into personal experiences.

2. Becoming an Armchair Expert: The Shrimp Specialist ([02:46] - [03:56])

When asked about the mundane topics people might consider Colbert an expert in, he surprisingly highlighted his knowledge of cooking shrimp. Addressing the question, he stated:

"I know how to cook shrimp. I know how to cook shrimp. I know how not to overcook shrimp... People ruin a lot of shrimp. Shrimp's a simple thing. Gets ruined all the time." ([03:06])

Colbert elaborates on the nuances of preparing shrimp, emphasizing common mistakes people make, such as overcooking or awkward presentation with tails on. This segment adds a relatable and quirky dimension to Colbert's persona, endearing him further to the audience.

3. Reflections on His Previous Show and Interviewing Obama ([03:56] - [07:02])

An audience member inquired whether Colbert missed hosting The Colbert Report. Colbert responded thoughtfully:

"No, because I still work... But I don't miss it at all, really, for that reason." ([03:59])

He delves into his experiences, particularly highlighting a memorable moment when he interviewed former President Barack Obama while still in character. Colbert recounts attempting to mimic Bill O'Reilly's interview style, which led to a humorous and insightful exchange:

"When he started to answer, he said to me, this is how sharp he was. He doesn't miss anything. He goes, now, now, now, come on now, Bill, Bill." ([06:15])

This reflection underscores Colbert's commitment to his craft and his ability to blend humor with meaningful dialogue, even in high-profile interviews.

4. Hypothetical Drag Name ([07:04] - [07:29])

In a playful segment, an audience member asked Colbert about his potential drag name. Embracing the moment with humor, he proposed:

"If I was a drag queen, my name would be Consuela." ([07:07])

This brief but entertaining exchange highlights Colbert's versatility and willingness to engage in lighthearted banter with his audience.

5. Strange Experiences in New York City and Family Stories ([07:29] - [09:55])

Colbert shares personal stories about his long-term relationship with New York City, where he has lived and worked for over three decades. When asked about the strangest things he's encountered, he reflects on a nostalgic encounter related to his family's history:

"The strangest things I've seen or experienced around New York City... my name in lights on Broadway on the front of this building is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in New York." ([07:34])

He recounts a touching moment at Iona Prep, his father's alma mater, where he discovered memorabilia about his late father:

"I went over there to look to see who it was. And the center of it, it said, class president. It said, Harry J. Byrne... there was my dad in the photo in high school, who died when I was 10." ([09:14])

This deeply personal story not only provides insight into Colbert's family background but also his emotional connection to New York City.

6. Additional Lighthearted Exchanges ([09:56] - [11:42])

Towards the end of the content segment, Colbert continues to engage with his audience through various anecdotes and reflections, further solidifying his rapport with listeners and showcasing his multifaceted personality.

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Conclusion

In this episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, listeners are treated to a blend of humorous anecdotes, personal reflections, and engaging conversations. From stories about celebrity interactions and culinary expertise to heartfelt family memories, Colbert offers a well-rounded and entertaining glimpse into his life and experiences. Notably, his ability to seamlessly transition between lighthearted jokes and meaningful narratives ensures that both new listeners and longtime fans find value and enjoyment in the discussion.

Notable Quotes:

• "Jennifer Lawrence was on the show a long time ago, back in 2017... She really didn't want to be here. But contractually she had to be here." ([01:11])

• "I know how to cook shrimp. I know how to cook shrimp. I know how not to overcook shrimp... People ruin a lot of shrimp." ([03:06])

• "I don't miss it at all, really, for that reason." ([03:59])

• "If I was a drag queen, my name would be Consuela." ([07:07])

• "The strangest things I've seen or experienced around New York City... my name in lights on Broadway on the front of this building is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in New York." ([07:34])

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the content provided and excludes advertisements, introductions, and outros to deliver a clear and concise overview of the episode's main discussions and themes.

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

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[Audience Member 1]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Are there any questions I can answer before we get going here? Yes. I saw you first, young lady. Yes.

[Audience Member 2]

What's the story when you used to go take a drink at the back bar?

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, what was the story? Oh, wow. What was that story? Why I used to go take a drink at the back bar. Did that happen because I was doing shots with Jennifer Lawrence one night? Is that how that happened? One night? Jennifer Lawrence was on the show a long time ago, back in2017, something like that. And she really didn't want to be here. She was on for something called Red Sparrow, some terrible movie that she knew was terrible, had shot three years before. She just didn't want to be here. But contractually she had to be here. So I said, can I get your cocktail? And she goes, yeah, what do you have? And I said, I've got some really good rum. Do you want to do rums? And we did. I think CBS would only allow us to show on air that we did two shots, but we did five shots and I was. She was gone. She was gone. She had her shoes off and she was sitting up here like this in this. She did the interview like that. And she's smaller than I am, so that was easier for her to do. And I was so drunk that I just said, I just said to my old exec, I went, good night. And I walked this way. And then for some reason on every Thursday night after that, it was Thursday night. So I'd go out there and Somebody would be making a cocktail. Any of you guys ever make the cocktail? No, Liz has it with staff members. What? Oh, that's right.

[Audience Member 1]

Of course.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Anybody? Anybody else? Yes, yes, you, ma' am.

[Audience Member 2]

Everybody has something mundane they're kind of an armchair expert in. Like, I always call my dad about cars. He's not a mechanic. What is the thing that everybody goes, I need to call Stephen about?

[Stephen Colbert]

It's the Lord of the Rings. That's what everyone. That's the thing that everybody calls me about. What do you say?

[Audience Member 2]

What is the mundane thing?

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, the mundane thing that I know about. I know how to cook shrimp. I know how to cook shrimp. I know how not to overcook shrimp. More importantly, I know also how to serve shrimp. I know how to peel shrimp. That's what I know how to do. There are all kinds of little simple things. People ruin a lot of shrimp. Shrimp's a simple thing. Gets ruined all the time. People cook it from hell to breakfast. You can just bounce it off the wall. People leave the tails on when they serve them. Come on. Absolutely not. What am I supposed to wear, like a lobster bib to have the scampi? It's ridiculous. So it's shrimp. Anybody else? Yes, sir.

[Audience Member 2]

You ever miss doing the Colbert?

[Stephen Colbert]

No, because I still work. I mean, everybody from there came over here. Plus, I got a great band. Plus I got. Plus there's this beautiful theater I'm part of, and my name's on Broadway. I really loved that show. But, you know, we did almost 1500 of those shows. And I did that in character. Something that literally all the early reviews of the show said. Oh, I really like this. There's no way they can sustain for more than a few months. And we did almost 10 years. Wow. And so we kind of got all that ball, you know what I mean? Like, by the way, my whole goal was before the whole thing was over and it happened like two weeks before we went off the air, is that I really wanted to interview a president in character. And two weeks before we went off the air, we went down to D.C. and I interviewed Obama. We did a show live from Washington and I interviewed Obama. And the reason why I wanted to do it is I wanted to ask him a question. I wanted specifically to ask him a question that I had seen Bill O'Reilly ask Obama and the question. And Bill O'Reilly had said this to Barack Obama. And I'll just tell you what I said, because I just said the exact same thing. And I said, cuz during that super bowl interview, before the Super bowl, the President would sit down with somebody. So it was for Fox. So O'Reilly interviewed Obama and he's trying to say, you're going to, now, Mr. President, you're going to approve the XL pipeline. Well, Bill, we're still saying you're going to approve it. You're going to approve it like that. And at one point, Bill O'Reilly says to him, president, you know, guys like us. And I thought, wow, that is a great image of yourself. You are talking to this historic figure, the President of the United States, the most powerful person on the planet, and you've got pretty good basic cable ratings. Guys like us. So I was interviewing Obama and I forgot what the subject was and I was trying to push him the way O'Reilly pushed him. I said, look, look, look, sir, look, guys like us, we get it. And it got a great laugh from the audience. They understood how stupid it was. And when he started to answer, he said to me, this is how sharp he was. He doesn't miss anything. He goes, now, now, now, come on now, Bill, Bill. So I mean, I have amount of like happy memories about it, but I am still doing shows with my friends. And the hard part about that job was that I actually had to go watch a lot of that stuff to sort of stay up to date with the way in which that sort of sort of self important, blow hard character was developing across cable shows, not just O'Reilly. And at a certain point I saw it become so toxic that it felt like sipping poison so that I could go make candy, you know what I mean? And imagine how poisonous it would be to sip now. And so I don't miss it at all, really, for that reason. Anybody else? Anybody with questions? Yes, right back there.

[Audience Member 2]

Hello.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hello.

[Audience Member 2]

Hey, you're a drag queen. What's your drag name?

[Stephen Colbert]

If I was a drag queen. Hey, if I was a drag queen, my name would be Consuela. Consuelo. Oh, yeah, I like it. I like it. Anybody else? Anybody else? Yes, ma' am. Right there, young lady, right there. Yeah, you. Yeah, you.

[Audience Member 2]

So what is one of the strangest things you've seen or experienced walking around New York City?

[Stephen Colbert]

The strangest things I've seen or experience around New York City, ma' am. I've lived here for 26 years. I've worked here for almost 30 years. I have worked here for over 30 years. Wow. Strangest things. I mean, you don't mean like a pantsless man on the subway, right? Because that's pretty common. You're too young to Know who the Cars are? There's a band called the Cars. They're no longer with us because one of their founders, Rick Ocasek, is no longer with us. He was married to a model named Perina Porizkova, which was a pretty big get for Rick Ocasek. And the very first time I ever visited New York, I was in college. I was down in the West Village having brunch on a Sunday. And Rick O. Kasich walked by, and I went, I have to move to New York because Rick Ocasek lives here. Wow. What's other weird stuff? Oh, my name in lights on Broadway on the front of this building is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in New York. I mean, I remember when Sully. Sully Sullenberg landed the plane on the Hudson. It was just right down the street from us. We're doing a show, and he landed the plane on there. Like, everything happens in New York. Everything happens in New York. One of the great things is that my mom and dad grew up in New York. And so growing up, we heard all about the stories of, like, their courtship or where they meet or anything. I'm like, I remember when I moved to New York to work, I said, mom, I'm at the chock full of nuts on Fifth Avenue where you and dad would meet before you go to St. Patrick's my mom and dad, okay, this is the 1940s, my late 30s and early 40s, because my mom and dad. My mom and dad would be 105 if they were still with us. I was the last of 11 children, so they were kind of old when they had me, and I'm old. And my mom and dad would meet at St. Patrick's and then they would go in on Saturday night, go to confession, and then go out all night long. Not Mass, just confession, then go out all night long. And then they'd go to the 4am Printer's mass, which was for all the newspaper guys to go to mass after they'd put out the Sunday edition. And then at 5am or 5:30, they'd get on the train and go back out to Larchmont where they lived. Yeah. Are you guys from Larchmont close by? Yeah. Where? New Rochelle. My dad went to Iona Prep.

[Audience Member 1]

Oh, no way.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What?

[Audience Member 2]

That's super cool stuff.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah. When I was shooting a show called the Strangers with Candy, we were out there at Iona Prep one night, and we were shooting overnight. We were shooting a sports episode, and I'm just out in the hallway Waiting because somebody else was shooting in the gym in the hallway. And they have all the class photos. And I had forgotten my dad went to Iona Prep. And I'm just sitting out in the. I'm sitting out in the hallway. It's like 3 o' clock in the morning or something. And I'm looking at all the class photos, and right across from me on the hallway, it said, Class of 1938. And I went, ah, that's fine. My dad graduated in 1938 from high school. Ah, that's interesting. Guess those guys kind of would have been around, looked like my dad back then. Because everybody, high school students in 1938 all looked like they were 43, nobody smiling. And I went over there to look to see who it was. And the center of it, it said, class president. It said, Harry J. Byrne. Harry J. Byrne was the monsignor who married Evie and I. Oh, wow. And he was my dad's best friend. And I went, harry, wait. I own a prep. This is my dad's high school. And then I went. And there was my dad in the photo in high school, who died when I was 10. So I didn't really know my dad that well. And one crew member walked by and I went, hey, man. And I explained to him what I had just seen. He went, oh, that's fascinating. When the series was over at the end of that season, he came up to me and he gave me an envelope. He had gone to the offices at Iona Prep and said, can you give me everything on James Colbert? And it had like every newspaper clipping, his report cards, everything. Everything they still had on my dad. So that's not New York, but that's something from my mother and father's life that I wouldn't have discovered unless I'd moved and worked here. So there you go.

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Ready to do it?

[Stephen Colbert]

Y' all ready to do the show? Y' all ready to do the show, everybody? Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclus since.

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[Stephen Colbert]

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Clock is running.

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