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Stephen Colbert
Thank you citizens. Welcome, welcome one and all to the Late Show. I'm your host Stephen Colbert. Today I believe. I believe today is the most Monday of the year because yesterday was the beginning of daylight savings time and we sprung forward. I might have pulled something, but considering the way things are going, I've never been more grateful to be one hour closer to the end of whatever this is. What is this? I think we know what this is. The clocks may have sprung forward yesterday, but today the stock market fall down, go boom. The Dow Jones dropped 890 points. Now I don't know a lot of financial jargon, but let's just say your 401 is not K. There is absolutely there is no good way to spin the story. But Fox Business correspondent Charlie Gasparino did find a bad way. Who cares if there's just a market gyration to this? Who cares where we take the dow down to 35,000? If that's what happens, nobody will care. We avoided a recession. We reoriented the economy to the private sector. It's going to go up because we are unleashing. His plan is to unleash the sort of animal spirits. He's what? He's going to unleash the animal spirit. That's not the advice you get from your financial guy. That's what the shaman says as he's pouring the ayahuasca down your throat. Trump's twitchy tariff hand is bumming out everybody on Wall Street. Recently one of those everybody said, we are exhausted and it's still Q1. Do you know how hard it is to exhaust Wall Street? They wake up every morning to a hot and then just to take the edge off more cocaine. Some of them are here tonight. All right. Trump's policies aren't just hurting the markets. According to the Atlanta Fed so far, growth in the current quarter was a stunning negative 2.8%, signaling that the GDP is shrinking at the fastest pace since the pandemic lockdown in the first Trump term. It took a disease to destroy the economy. This time, he is the disease. In his address, in his address to Congress last week, Trump admitted his tariffs might cause what he called a disruption. Yesterday, Maria Bartiromo asked him about that.
Cate Blanchett
Is that what you meant? The stock market going down was the disruption. What other disruption were you alluding to?
Stephen Colbert
Look, what I have to do is build a strong country. You can't really watch the stock market. If you look at China, they have 100 year perspective. We have a quarter, we go by quarters. That's true. And you can't go by that. You have to do what's right. Oh, sure. With a big enough time perspective, nothing really matters. Beth, I can tell you're mad I'm two hours late to our wedding. But I will remind you, on a geological scale, two hours is punctual. Does a mountain. Does a mountain care that I get distracted looking at sandwiches on TikTok? On which talk? No. So what are people supposed to do with Trump's erratic policies and has the markets climbing one day and plummeting the next? Well, thankfully, the Late Show's newest sponsor is an investment firm that is on top of every economic shift. What if you had the power to see tomorrow at hucsin Financial, our investment specialists have an eye on your future. Financial planning means stability. And there's no better time to start investing than right now because it.
Cate Blanchett
Oh, what are we supposed to do?
Stephen Colbert
Oh, thank God. As I was saying, there's no better time to invest in the stock market because sure, it can be volatile, but it's still one of the safest ways for your. What? Why is it doing that? What's that sound?
Cate Blanchett
Who's even making that sound?
Stephen Colbert
Hoxton Financial. You don't need that money like now, do you? Thank you. Many thanks to Hoxton. All the good people at Hoxton Financial. While Trump's economic plan may be chaos, his plan for reforming the government is also that, for instance, as soon as he plopped down in the Oval back in January, he signed an executive order targeting DEI programs. So now federal agencies have flagged hundreds of words to limit or avoid. Some are predictable phrases like multicultural, anti racism, and gender identity. But the list also includes common words like barriers, sex and women, a list clearly made by men who have experienced barriers having sex with women. And I don't know necessarily how they're doing this, who's going out, Whether it's by hand or using AI, they're yanking words out of sentences at random. For example, the FAA job site used to promise applicants, you'll be part of a diverse workforce. Now it says you'll be part of a workforce. Sell it with sizzle, fellas. This can catch on. KFC's going to go from it's finger licking good to it's finger good. Of course, of course, the supposed. Really? Applause. Got some finger fans over there. Of course, the supposed reason Trump killed DEI in government is because he wants to hire on merit only. Like his merit hire at Defense. Okay, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, one of the top three weekend Fox and Friends hosts, currently shotgunning a mini bottle of Fireball. He is less dei, more dui. Hegseth is all in. Hegseth is all in on erasing scary woke words from the Internet. He recently ordered all the military services to spend countless hours pouring over years of web posts, photos, news articles and videos to remove any mentions that promote diversity, equity and inclusion. They're being so literal that one of the things they took down, and this is real, are photos of the plane that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. The Enola Gay. It's gone. It's been replaced with a photo of the famous Enola, your uncle's longtime roommate. Yes. Wow. True story. That's true. Ed Youthful. They're taking down anything that could possibly have to do with gay people, including photos of an Army Corps of Engineers dredging project because a local engineer had the last name gay. That's also why they deleted all the images of famed Civil War General Hiram T. Scissoring. Nothing from the finger fans over there. Nothing Very selective. Trump is not just a sack of incompetence and malice, he is also very thin skinned. If he's not the center of attention at all times, he tends to get his waddle in a bunch. Take England. Last month he met with UK Prime Minister and bottle of drinkable yogurt Keir Starmer. Starmer brought an invitation from King Charles for an unprecedented second state visit for Trump. But then King Charles hosted Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and now Trump is privately fuming that the King makes other leaders feel special too. President Trump Mr. President, if you thought Charles wouldn't two time you, you missed a whole season of the CR right, right. The King is also in the news for another reason because it was announced that he is set to debut a radio show on Apple Music. Oh, just like King Arthur before him, who pulled the Bluetooth enabled microphone from the stone and starred his podcast the Roundtable with his co hosts Lancelot and Will Arnett as part of the radio show. As part of his new radio show, the King released a curated playlist that includes songs like Crazy in Love by Beyonce, haven't Met yout yet by Michael Buble, and Le Vie en Rose by Grace Jones. In comparison, Prince William only has one song on his playlist. I just can't wait to be King, charles explained. Maybe, probably. He's the right age. He's the right age. Charles reminisced about one of the songs on his playlist. Kylie Minow came to St. James's palace to perform this song in 2012. The song is the Locomotion and this.
Cate Blanchett
Is music for dancing.
Stephen Colbert
Again. It has that infectious energy which makes it I find incredibly hard to sit still. Very hard to sit still. Yes, it's very hard to sit still. Summon the guards because the rhythm is going to get me Locomotion is not the only dance I know. I also know how to do the twist, the mashed potato and watch me whip Watch me nene. Hey, we got a great show for you tonight coming up. Cate Blanchett what is Dax? Are you tracking all our cars on Carvana value tracker on all our devices? Yes Kristen, yes I am.
Dax Shepard
Well I've been looking for my phone.
Stephen Colbert
For In Dax's domain we see all so we always Know what our cars are worth?
Cate Blanchett
All of them?
Stephen Colbert
All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%. That's a great offer. I know. Sell sell. Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today.
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Stephen Colbert
Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is an actor, you know from the Lord of the Rings films, Blue Jasmine and Tar. She now stars in Black Bag.
Cate Blanchett
What are we hunting this time? Severus. And you think one of them took it?
Stephen Colbert
Possibly.
Cate Blanchett
It's been a while since we had a traitor to dinner. At least knowingly. We shouldn't be discussing this. Yeah, probably not. I would have thought you'd start with polygraphs. I wanted to try something more elegant first. What's on the menu? Fun and games.
Stephen Colbert
Please welcome back to the late show, Cate Blanchett. Lovely to see you again. Thanks for being here.
Cate Blanchett
Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Good to be back in the United state of X.
Stephen Colbert
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Don't rub it in. Now you are in from London where you're starring in the Seagull on the West End, right?
Cate Blanchett
Yeah. No, at the Barbican. I'm in the Barbie.
Stephen Colbert
The Barbican. I'm sorry, I don't know the difference.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah, well, it's a little cheaper.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, yeah.
Cate Blanchett
So we're doing the Seagull and Tom Burke, who's actually in Black Bag with me, is also in the play.
Stephen Colbert
He's great.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah, great.
Stephen Colbert
Who does he play?
Cate Blanchett
He plays Chagorin and I play a cardinal.
Stephen Colbert
A cardinal.
Cate Blanchett
I did it years ago where I was playing Nina and Emma Corrin, you probably know.
Stephen Colbert
I know. I have this photo here. This is.
Cate Blanchett
Oh, that is me, not Emma Corin.
Stephen Colbert
Stone. That is in 97.
Cate Blanchett
That's when I married my husband that year.
Stephen Colbert
And here, you. And here. And here. Here we are.
Cate Blanchett
We've got.
Stephen Colbert
What other photos do you have?
Cate Blanchett
I have no more questions left.
Stephen Colbert
You just burned through all the props. Thank you very much. Thanks for stopping by. I love. Well, I just. Andrew Scott is doing Vanya.
Cate Blanchett
Yes.
Stephen Colbert
And he's bringing that here. Right.
Cate Blanchett
We're invading.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. So he's bringing Vanya here. Is there any chance we're gonna get your seagull here in the States? In New York?
Cate Blanchett
Well, I hope so. Maybe at the Armory or Bam. But yeah, we've got to finish at the Barbican first.
Stephen Colbert
Okay.
Cate Blanchett
But I wanted to bring you a little gift because I know that relations as. As per your opening monologue, are slightly strained between England. The special relationship is slightly strained.
Stephen Colbert
Well, your king made a mistake by liking.
Cate Blanchett
Not my king. I'm Australian, colonized by.
Stephen Colbert
He's on your money.
Cate Blanchett
He's on my money.
Stephen Colbert
Isn't he on your money?
Cate Blanchett
No, he's not on your money. He's a great environmentalist, so I have an enormous respect for him and his language. But Jason Watkins, who is a genius actor, you would know him from the Crown. Oh, one I prepared earlier that just happened to be here.
Stephen Colbert
Not all guests bring plastics.
Cate Blanchett
No, no, I know. But I did wanted to bring you a gift from this company called O Pioneers that puts English language on socks as a reminder that we do speak the same language.
Stephen Colbert
So slap, this one says. It says slap and tickle and tickle.
Cate Blanchett
And you know what that is, right?
Stephen Colbert
I do. But it's a family show.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah. All right.
Stephen Colbert
What is slap and tickle?
Cate Blanchett
Well, slap and tickle is slightly flirtatious before you have sex, which is.
Stephen Colbert
I was making that up. And I was right.
Cate Blanchett
The sex part is that pair of socks. You and your wife are going to have so much fun this evening. Rumpy pumpy.
Stephen Colbert
Rumpy pumpy.
Cate Blanchett
You know what rumpy pumpy is? It's an onomatopoeia. Yay. But just don't have rumpy. Bring it on. Woo. The sexiest feet in show business. Rumpy pumpy.
Stephen Colbert
I'm gonna surprise Evie with these tonight.
Cate Blanchett
You will?
Stephen Colbert
There you go.
Cate Blanchett
And then she can wear the slap and tickle.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, that's Jared. Thank you so much.
Cate Blanchett
Now, Cor blimey. You know that one?
Stephen Colbert
What is this one called?
Cate Blanchett
What is it with the Cor blimey? Cor blimey is a great one. What is ticket Boom? The relationship between America and the rest of the world is not tickety boo right now.
Stephen Colbert
That means everything's just fine.
Cate Blanchett
It's tickety boo. And cock a hoop is my favorite, which means I am so cock a hoop about being on the show right now.
Stephen Colbert
Cock a hoop. So you're chuffed?
Cate Blanchett
I am chuffed. See you do. We do speak the same language. I mean, I'm Australian, but I do understand the English language.
Stephen Colbert
He's going to translate it for you. Isla. I would want to go see you do Madame Archadna, if only to see the scene. My favorite scene on almost anything is when she is getting Tregoran to stay. Oh, that moment when you say you will stay.
Cate Blanchett
You're mine.
Stephen Colbert
You are mine.
Cate Blanchett
You're mine, Stephen. You're mine.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly.
Cate Blanchett
These eyes are mine.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. If you ever. If anyone needed to know why a character's intention is important, her getting him to stay in that scene.
Cate Blanchett
It's a great scene.
Stephen Colbert
It's absolutely.
Cate Blanchett
And I get to play and kind of terrifying. Yeah, it's terrifying, but I play it with Tom Burke, who is such a wonderful actor.
Stephen Colbert
Is there exactly, like anything about. I've seen a lot of different seagulls.
Cate Blanchett
Never use and the world needs another production.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly. No, no, but they do. Is there anything different about this interpretation?
Cate Blanchett
Well, Thomas Ostermaier, who leads the Shao Booner in Berlin, and we've been friends for a long time, he directs it, But I think inside the play, and I know this for having played, you know, there's younger artists in it and older artists, and I've played Nina, the young actress, and now I'm playing the older actress, Cardinal. But there's alive in the production, really, is the anger of a younger generation at being. At having their opportunities taken away, their airtime taken away by an older generation. And I think that's something that is really alive and kicking in the Zeitgeist right now.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. It's happening here, too, you know. Now.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Do you. What's the first time you remember being a performer?
Cate Blanchett
Like, ooh, gosh, I don't know. I never thought it was something you could do with your life.
Stephen Colbert
You just did it because it was mathematical.
Cate Blanchett
I thought I'd get a proper job. I did used to do. I was obsessed with Candid Camera, so I used to do these candidates radio things where I would record my parents having arguments or people saying things, adults saying things that they didn't want other people to hear.
Stephen Colbert
Real. Like you would spy on them.
Cate Blanchett
I would spy. I guess I would. I guess you could call it spying.
Stephen Colbert
You bugged them.
Cate Blanchett
You put them. But then what I would do is I would write them down and I would say, mom, dad, Uncle Jeff, do you want us to come and see a play? And I'd put it on and I would reenact verbatim the arguments that they'd have. And they'd sort of like thinking. But it was so. So it was kind of really dangerous but really exciting.
Stephen Colbert
That is troubling.
Cate Blanchett
It's really troubling.
Stephen Colbert
That's trouble. Isn't that what Hamlet does to Claudius?
Cate Blanchett
Yeah, I can't. Well, I real. I hadn't read Hamlet at the age of eight.
Stephen Colbert
You just were naturally Shakespearean.
Cate Blanchett
I was. I was very Shakespearean.
Stephen Colbert
We have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Cate Blanchett. Everybody. Stick to today AT T Mobile. I'm joined by a special co anchor. What up, everybody? It's your boy. Big Snoop deal. Double G. Snoop. Where can people go to find great deals? Head to T mobile.com and get four iPhone 16s with Apple Intelligence on us plus four lines for 25 bucks. That's quite a deal, Snoop. And when you switch to T Mobile, you can save versus the other big guys. Comparable plans plus streaming respect. We up out of here.
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Cate Blanchett
Edu.
Stephen Colbert
Hey, everybody. We're back with the star of the fantastic new film Black Bag. The one and the only Cate Blanchett. Your Black Bag co star, Michael Fassbender is gonna be.
Cate Blanchett
I've heard of him.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah, he's a good guy.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
So you and Fassbender play spies in this.
Cate Blanchett
I know.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. And we already know that you're a good spy as a child. Would you.
Cate Blanchett
I've been. Yes. I mean, it's a role that I've been training for all my life.
Stephen Colbert
Would you. Actors are. Actors have to maintain a character like a spy does. Would you be good as A spy.
Cate Blanchett
I think I'd be a terrible spy.
Stephen Colbert
Why?
Cate Blanchett
I think. Cause I get. I can't hold my. I can't keep my powder dry. Like, if I hear something that is so outrageous, I need to share how outrageous that is.
Stephen Colbert
And you'd be like, oh, my God, I can't wait to tell MI6.
Cate Blanchett
Yes, exactly.
Stephen Colbert
They're gonna love this.
Cate Blanchett
They can't take my call. No. But I think too. The amazing thing about. Everyone thinks about spies lie, but they're really good listeners and they get people to talk. And I think that's the amazing thing about Michael's performance is he's so still and so quiet and, you know, they're married spies. And unfortunately, I mean, I play his wife in this, which was, you know, so hard. But they're devoted to each other and she's the suspect in.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah, you learn right off in the film. I'm not giving anything away, that he's basically given a list of five people. Like, one of these people is a mole and his wife is one of the people. And they say, can you do this? And he goes, give me the list.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
It's fantastic. He plays that role so close to his chest.
Cate Blanchett
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
So. So little emotion. He makes, like, George Smiley seem giggly. You know what I mean? He's so reserved.
Cate Blanchett
He does.
Stephen Colbert
You've collaborated with your husband. Let's take your husband out one more time.
Cate Blanchett
There you go again. There he is.
Stephen Colbert
Andrew Upton, right there. Many times. You've collaborated. Many times. Even started.
Cate Blanchett
And four kids.
Stephen Colbert
A company and four kids. That's another collaboration. You know, you are playing a husband and wife, working together. You work together with your husband and.
Cate Blanchett
You'Ve had a cookbook with your wife.
Stephen Colbert
I have, yes. Would you like a copy?
Cate Blanchett
Yes, I would, but a cook. Would you sign it? Thank you. Thank you. Well, in Black Bag, there's a big dinner scene where some of the food is poisoned. So do you have a recipe that you know that someone shouldn't eat?
Stephen Colbert
There's a lot of seafood in here. Just don't refrigerate the shrimp.
Cate Blanchett
Ok? Right. Ok. Note to self.
Stephen Colbert
Thanks for the socks.
Cate Blanchett
Gift for gift. Thank you. Do you know that is the hardest thing to do as an actor when you have to. I won't do it in your cookbook because you decided it's your cookbook. But when you have to, in a scene where you have to pretend to write something down, I'm now talking and I'm trying to write something and it makes sense. So when you look at what things that actors have written down while they're talking. It usually looks like that.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. Yes.
Cate Blanchett
Because it's so difficult to write and speak at the same time. But you can do it. You have so many skills.
Stephen Colbert
This has been so lovely.
Cate Blanchett
Thank you, Kate.
Stephen Colbert
Thank you so much for being here. Thank you.
Cate Blanchett
Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
Black Bag is in theaters Friday. Cate Blanchett, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
Cate Blanchett
We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Styles MacKenzie helping you make those rooms sing. Today's style tip when it comes to.
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Cate Blanchett
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The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Episode: Cate Blanchett | No Money, More Problems
Release Date: March 11, 2025
Stephen Colbert opens the episode with his signature blend of humor and sharp political commentary. He tackles the abrupt stock market drop, noting, “The Dow Jones dropped 890 points. Now I don't know a lot of financial jargon, but let's just say your 401 is not K” ([02:15]). Colbert mocks Fox Business correspondent Charlie Gasparino’s optimistic take on the market's volatility, likening his advice to that of a shaman: “He's going to unleash the sort of animal spirits” ([03:00]).
Delving into the administration's economic policies, Colbert highlights the Atlanta Fed’s report on GDP contraction, stating, “Growth in the current quarter was a stunning negative 2.8%, signaling that the GDP is shrinking at the fastest pace since the pandemic lockdown” ([04:10]). He criticizes former President Trump's tariffs, suggesting they are more detrimental than beneficial: “This time, he is the disease” ([04:50]).
Colbert further satirizes Trump’s approach to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs, mocking the administration’s efforts to eliminate certain words: “Sell it with sizzle, fellas. KFC's going to go from 'it's finger licking good' to 'it's finger good'” ([09:00]). He underscores the absurdity of policies targeting common language, pointing out ironic examples like the removal of the Enola Gay photo: “They're being so literal that one of the things they took down… is gone” ([10:15]).
International relations receive a humorous treatment as Colbert discusses Trump’s strained interactions with UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer and King Charles, poking fun at the latter’s foray into podcasting: “As part of his new radio show, the King released a curated playlist that includes songs like 'Crazy in Love' by Beyonce” ([11:00]).
Stephen Colbert transitions to welcoming his guest, the acclaimed actress Cate Blanchett. He introduces her with enthusiasm, “My first guest this evening is an actor, you know from the Lord of the Rings films, Blue Jasmine and Tar. She now stars in Black Bag” ([14:22]). Blanchett engages in playful banter, referencing their on-screen characters and setting a light-hearted tone for the interview.
Cate Blanchett discusses her role in the play Seagull at the Barbican, highlighting her character dynamics: “We’re doing the Seagull and Tom Burke, who's actually in Black Bag with me, is also in the play” ([15:41]). She elaborates on the play’s themes, emphasizing the generational clash: “There’s the anger of a younger generation at being... having their opportunities taken away by an older generation” ([19:00]).
Shifting focus to her latest film, Black Bag, Blanchett shares insights into her character and collaboration with co-star Michael Fassbender: “The amazing thing about Michael’s performance is he’s so still and so quiet” ([23:22]). She humorously reflects on her spy persona, admitting, “I think I'd be a terrible spy… I need to share how outrageous that is” ([23:36]).
Colbert and Blanchett discuss the film’s intricate plot involving espionage and trust, with Blanchett noting the complexities of playing a devoted wife who is also a suspect: “They’re devoted to each other and she’s the suspect” ([24:00]). The conversation touches on acting challenges, such as performing complex scenes like writing while speaking: “It's so difficult to write and speak at the same time” ([25:50]).
Blanchett shares nostalgic memories of her early interest in performance, recounting how she would record her parents’ arguments and reenact them: “I would spy… I was really dangerous but really exciting” ([21:00]). Colbert draws parallels to Shakespearean drama, humorously linking her childhood antics to scenes from Hamlet: “You bugged them…but…you were naturally Shakespearean” ([21:36]).
The conversation naturally shifts to Blanchett’s collaborative work with her husband, Andrew Upton. Colbert highlights their joint projects and creative synergy: “You’ve collaborated. Many times. Even started a company and four kids” ([24:59]). Blanchett reflects on balancing professional and personal life, emphasizing the strength of their partnership both on and off-screen.
Adding levity to the interview, Blanchett presents Colbert with a pair of socks emblazoned with British colloquialisms like “slap and tickle”: “Slap and tickle is slightly flirtatious before you have sex” ([17:14]). Colbert humorously interacts with the gift, promising to surprise his wife and engaging in playful wordplay: “Rumpy pumpy” ([18:00]).
As the interview wraps up, Blanchett offers final thoughts on her roles and expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share her experiences. Colbert invites listeners to watch Black Bag in theaters and promotes additional content available on The Late Show’s YouTube channel. The episode concludes with a final light-hearted exchange before transitioning to another advertisement segment.
Stephen Colbert on Market Drop: “The Dow Jones dropped 890 points. Now I don't know a lot of financial jargon, but let's just say your 401 is not K.” ([02:15])
Cate Blanchett on Being a Spy: “I think I'd be a terrible spy… I need to share how outrageous that is.” ([23:36])
Stephen Colbert on DEI Program Cuts: “Sell it with sizzle, fellas. KFC's going to go from 'it's finger licking good' to 'it's finger good'.” ([09:00])
Cate Blanchett on Early Acting Interests: “I would spy… I was really dangerous but really exciting.” ([21:00])
This episode of The Late Show Pod Show masterfully blends topical satire with an engaging celebrity interview. Stephen Colbert's incisive monologue offers a humorous yet critical take on recent economic challenges and political maneuvers, setting the stage for a meaningful conversation with Cate Blanchett. Blanchett’s insights into her roles and the intricacies of acting provide listeners with a deeper appreciation of her craft, while the playful interactions between host and guest enrich the overall listening experience. The episode encapsulates the essence of late-night commentary—informative, entertaining, and thoughtfully delivered.